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imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 20/?

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - your name

***IMPORTANT*** The Criminal Psychology majors will be taking a temporary hiatus as I’m getting my second dose of the vaccine today<3 I don’t know when I’ll be coming back because I don’t want to burn myself out on this series just to give content while I’m gone, yknow

Warnings: Swearing, Forgetfulness, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

They danced and sung the night away at the Gala. It ended at around 2:00am and everyone went back to the Wayne Manor.

Somehow it came out that they should play Uno of all things. Uno is known for being the “Friendship Ruiner” or the “Relationship Ruiner” of the world. So, of course, they played it. Why wouldn't they?

Y/N dealt the cards. She was not quick about it. At all. She really struggled to deal the cards to the entire group, but she still tried. It was the thought that counted. Or at least she thought it did.

But no one seemed to mind she was a little slower with her cards-dealing. Which was different to the up-beat, face-paced life all of them lead. One would have expected that they would want a crazy fast dealer, but no one cared.

They played well into the night, with Jason ending up tapping-out and laying in Y/N’s lap. She played with his hair and leaned down to show him the good cards she got, at least until he fell asleep. She spent the time bonding with his family.

They had always liked her. From the first time they all met her, they knew she was going to be something real. They were even impressed that Jason and her hadn’t fought yet. They were both hot-headed when they wanted to be, so when it was obvious that they put the relationship ahead of their own prides, it was something else.

They knew of the first time they had one of these moments. Y/N was at a dance competition, but Jason had to dip because of “Family Issues”, she was upset. Of course, she wanted him there and it looked like they were going to get into a huge spat about it. But, when she won that competition, she got up there and she said,

“This one is for my family, my friends, the extension of my family,” she paused, “And my boyfriend, Jason.” She smiled, “He isn’t here right now because of family issues, but he told me to follow my dreams, and here I am,” she said while raising her medal slightly, “This one was for you, baby.”

And that’s when his family knew that pride was stupid to them. Relationships are growing, changing together. And while they both stayed hot-headed, they changed that slight detail in themselves to be better partners. It was admirable.

Y/N ended up winning the last game. Half of the Waynes were sleeping, either at the coffee table where they were playing or in their rooms. She glanced over to the clock, 6:00am. She knew her parents were getting up soon, so she texted her mom,

Hey mum! So do you still want Jay and I to come over for the barbeque?

And she nudged him a little. Everyone else had left the room, so she was trying to wake him up. So they could go to his room. He groaned.

“Baby, do you want to sleep in your bed?” she whisper-asked him, leaning down to his ear and stroking his hair. He groaned and got up, started walking to his room. She followed suit. He was on his bed and passed out before she even got up there.

She laughed and walked over to him, fumbling with his suit jacket. He mumbled something about taking him on a date first, and she laughed again.

“C’mon, work with me here, you’re going to be uncomfortable if you sleep in your suit, my love.”

He groaned and took off his jacket before unbuttoning his shirt, while she got his belt undone.

“God, take me on a date first,” he mumbled.

“Shh,” she said, placing a finger over his lips, “Just go to bed, Jay.”

He sloppily kissed her neck before she cupped his face and used her position to straddle him to the bed. She kissed his forehead before getting off of him and going through his clothes. She needed something, a shirt, pants, anything she could wear.

She fumbled with getting her own dress and gloves off, ending up throwing the dress over his desk chair, hoping it would minimize wrinkling. She undid her corset and threw it on his desk. Her heels were sitting at his desk chair. The gloves on his desk.

She crawled into bed with him, being the big spoon, burying her face behind his neck. She pulled out her phone to look at her texts. One from Artemis,

Hey, dude. That dress, oh my God?

She laughed into Jason’s shoulder and sent back, I know. I know. I know. I killed it. You can’t say I didn’t.

You’re literally so right because again, oh my God. You did NOT need to wipe the floor with the rest of the guests. I mean, Selina was there and you were on her level.

That’s impressive. Selina is stunning. But I’d argue I was just below every Wayne lady.

Well, eventually you’ll be a Wayne lady.

C’mon. It’s been 6 months.

You say that like the thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least once.

Yeah, but I don’t talk to anyone about it.

You should start talking about it. Most people think about their weddings.

Okay, anyway. Why are you up so early?

I was studying most of the night with Wally.

Ah, “Studying”. Nice.

I wish! No, we were actually studying. Not like you and Jay at your little Gala. Actually had to study.

I have to study too, but exams are like next week.

Wish I could relate. Mine are today.

And you didn’t sleep? Dude.

Shh, you’re not my mom.

She laughed and fell asleep cuddling Jason. Her phone was opened, so it died.

----------------------------------

Jason woke up first. Looking at the time, it was 12:00pm. Y/N was sleeping behind him, still loosely holding him. He smiled. He hoped that the night before had fixed some of the issues between them. Well, he hoped there was no issues.

He didn’t want work to be more stressful than it already was. But, they were having issues. He thought it was because of finals, but he feared there was more to it. Maybe it was the fact that he’s famous. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn’t handle the fame. He hoped it wasn’t anything to do with the fame.

But the comment about the people with daggers at her throat obviously wasn't about anyone else. It was the press. He knew she had issues with the press. He always would. She always would. He wouldn’t blame her if she walked away from him because of the press. Break up or a break, she was allowed to give up because of the press. He hoped she didn’t. He hoped she never would. He didn’t want to jinx them, but he really, really, hoped that this wouldn’t end in flames.

He looked at her. He remembered the first moment he knew he loved her. They were having dinner at this hole-in-the-wall restaurant that he had seen on patrol one night. She was scarfing down the food, and he wiped away the mess on her face with his thumb. He knew then. He knew in that moment that that was it. She was it.

He was whipped and he knew it. But every time his siblings or dad brought it up, he mentioned current or past relationships they had. The only people who weren’t whipped in the Wayne household were the women.

Or maybe the all were, they were just good at hiding it. He turned around and cuddled her back He stroked her hair. He ran his fingers through her hair.

She did it to him a lot. Physical affection was something that he was used to at this point. He still didn’t know how to feel about it, but he had ended up letting Dick hug him more often. He didn’t say it was because of her, because she didn’t outright run up to him expecting hugs, she was okay with hand holding and small touches of affection. It wasn’t because of her that he started letting people in.

But he did think she was a turning point for him. For his affection. His love style. She gave a damn about him and made it clear. It wasn’t like love he was used to, but it also opened his mind to people trying to love him.

She shifted around a bit. She ended up turning her back to Jason so he became the big spoon, and he buried his face in her hair. She groaned and tugged at the blanket on his bed, pulling it onto the two of them. He helped her get it on them. She groaned again.

“You up?” he whispered.

“No... I’m in deep sleep,” she said with a slur to her speech.

“My mistake, really.”

“It is.”

He pulled her closer, “Can you wake up?”

“No.”

“That’s sad. I wanted to talk.”

“You can talk.”

“Okay so,” he said, “I realised something. Some people would say you’re changing me, that I’m becoming someone else because of you,” he paused, “I’d have to disagree. You’re not doing anything.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re just inspiring me to do better. You influence me. You don’t intentionally go in and change me, I change because I love you.”

“That’s nice honey.”

“You could pretend you’re interested in what I have to say, my love.”

“I’m tired, Jay.”

“I danced you to Hell, I guess.”

She groaned, “I guess I can’t go back to bed, now,” she flexed her wrist, “You’ve interrupted my sleep.”

He cuddled in closer to her, “I am not sorry.”

“Of course you’re not, why would you be?” she said while she turned to face him, “You just want to see me.”

“Damn, you got me.”

She yawned, “We need to study eventually.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I just did.”

“School’s annoying. It’s on every last never but also none of them. It’s stressful but I also met you from it. It’s something I excel at but also causes me pain.”

“I know, babe. I know,” she said as she searched for her phone, finding it, dead and under her leg. “Fuck, killed my phone.”

“Where did you even have that all night?”

“Dress has pockets. But I didn’t bring my charger,” she sighed. “I had texted my mum too.”

“Texted your mom about what?”

“She wants us to go to a family barbeque after exams.”

“That’s so suburban of your family.”

“Yet they live in a massive city. I guess you'll see my family? you like them, don't you?” she asked.

He had met her family in January of that year. He got along with her mom and dad, in spite of the language barrier between him and her dad. There was difficulty understanding each other, but they got along in their love for rock music. It warmed Y/N’s heart.

Her mom liked him just because he made her happy. They didn’t really need to get along, but they did. They both cooked, and her mom had dragged him into helping her when Y/N was watching figure skating with her dad. Apparently they hit it off.

“I have literally no idea,” he said.

“How do you not know?”

“Your sister has something off about her.”

“You know, that’s fair. I don’t blame you for that one.”

“Yeah, have you noticed she’s very... obsessed with vigilantes?”

“And you thought I was obsessed,” she joked, “Yeah, she takes it a little too far. The whole, “I want to marry a vigilante to infiltrate and kill them” thing was obviously a joke, but I feel like there was some truth to it. That scares me.”

“Thank God I’m not the only one.”

“If you don’t like her, don’t worry about it. i don’t care if you like her. We’ve had a difficult relationship all or lives. If you can be civil, it’s a win.”

“Did you have an ex openly hate your sister?”

“Yep. And he’s an ex for a reason.”

“That’s fair. I would hate it if someone openly hated one of my siblings.”

“Unless it’s Dami.”

“Unless it’s Dami, that’s very true.”

“Still don’t know what you have against that kid, he’s very sweet.”

“That’s what he wants you to think.”

“Well, then its working.”

“What a master manipulator,” he laughed. “It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N.”

“It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N,” she mocked.

“Okay listen,” he laughed, “It is. He’s a menace.”

“But you love him.”

“It’s unfortunate. He's my brother, but he is also whatever. I don’t know. He’s amazing, he’s a genius, but who knows. Maybe one day we won’t fight all the time.”

“Imaging hoping you don’t fight with your sibling.”

“Family issues, amirite?”

She groaned and got over him, “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know. Just need to get up, to be fair.”

“Coffee?”

“Eh, probably not.”

“That’s new.”

“You betcha. I don’t feel the affects of caffeine withdrawal yet.” She looked at her dress, it was wrinkled. Which was whatever. She knew it was going to happen. She went searching for all her stuff and put it on his desk. It was spread all out over his room, she didn’t know how it happened.

“How did your shit end up everywhere?” he asked.

“Probably the same way that all your shit ended up everywhere? I have no idea.”

“What, did we fuck?”

“No!” she laughed, “Do you not remember?”

“Days are blurring together, so.”

“Well that’s not... normal?”

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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ok hello i absolutely love all ur fics, you’ve just got a certain quality in ur writing that is just… mmm. yeah so anyway, do you have any advice on how to improve or just how to write?? (especially fic cause personally i struggle with that more than original stuff??)

hello!! that is very kind of you to say thank you <3

advice on how to write. oh boy. oh man. well i can try. i will do my best. i will also try to be brief but we all know how that song goes

update from having finished answering this: alright. okay. this is not only long, but decidedly english teacher-y. i’m sorry that i am the way that i am. this is what you get for asking a leo for writing advice. am i joking? maybe. maybe not. anyway. this post got away from me in a big way so here’s a read more. warning: LONG post under the cut.

1. study your characters. for RPF like the band stuff i write, that literally means watching interviews, watching them perform, seeing how they interact with each other, picking up on their mannerisms (behavior) - what they do with their hands, if they repeat themselves or stutter when they talk, the quality of their voice when they're talking about different things, and so on. also keep track of things they mention a lot in interviews especially about each other - for example jack has mentioned before that alex has an annoying habit of twirling his hair when he zones out. that kind of thing. IMPORTANT NOTE!: you don’t have to use all of this information. just like studying for anything, you collect all the information you can and then you parse through it and use whatever you think will contribute or be relevant to your story.

2. remember that characters are people. or at least they’re representing people, which is an important distinction (see #3). still, considering that your characters are people can be a helpful way to get out of your head. see, characters are supposed to be archetypical, and fulfill a role, and say certain things in certain ways and never really deviate from that. but people are highly unpredictable and behave in random ways for random reasons and have thought processes that are unfathomable. people will just do fuckin’ whatever. if you’re worried that your characters aren’t behaving in a believable way, keep in mind that you’re trying to make your characters represent people, and people’s behavior is justifiable any number of ways. people just do shit.

3. remember that characters are not people. sike! no but seriously, this is just as important to remember. unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, characters are never going to be people. that’s a good thing for stories, though. characters can pick up on nuance in senses that people can’t - they can distinguish between different facial expressions, different smells, different sounds - BUT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT MOVES THE STORY ALONG. in other ways, characters are ridiculously oblivious. you can use this to your advantage. in fact, a lot of the time, you have to. if your character notices right away that someone is flirting with him, then you can’t write a 30k slow burn, for example. characters don’t do that thing humans do where they go “what?” but then halfway through the re-explanation they register what’s been said. pretty much everything characters say has meaning. (by this i don’t mean semantic meaning, i mean significance - characters don’t really just say “what?” because they didn’t hear what someone said, they say “what?” because they can’t believe it or they don’t understand it or they refuse to understand it. characters never seem to run into the didn’t-hear-them problem. must be nice.)

characters can do whatever you want or need them to do, because you’re in charge of them. (sometimes this doesn’t feel true - mine do all kinds of shit and i just have go “well alright then” - but it is true.) they are gears in a story. you decide when and how they turn.

4. dialogue is your friend. i am super super biased here, because i looove writing dialogue. if you talk to sam about this i’m sure she would say that description and narration are the ways to go. but you came to me, so i get to say that dialogue is god. i don’t want to say that dialogue is the only method of communication (i know nonverbal communication is real), but dialogue is the fastest and most effective method of communication, and by extension, the most effective way to advance relationships between characters. now. obviously there are exceptions. if characters are kissing, they’re probably not doing a lot of talking. if they’re trying to be undercover or discreet, they’re more likely to rely on gestures and facial expressions than speaking. if you’re writing a very peaceful scene, you might not want to undercut it by adding a lot of chit-chat. but i maintain that dialogue is the best way to move a story along, for a few reasons.

first, at least for me, too much description is just tiring. depending on how skillful the writer is (sam), i can read a fair amount before i hit my limit, but unlike in mean girls, the limit DOES exist. you don’t want to over-describe the world (see #5). second, i find that dialogue is a really really good indicator of a person’s character. this is especially true and relevant in fanfiction, which is a lot more character-driven than original fiction in many ways. also, in a sec i’m gonna talk about showing [not/and] telling, which is every english teacher’s bitch, but dialogue is a really good way of showing who a person is and also a good way to establish facts about the universe. you could just narrate and be like “Jack hated waking up early,” and that works and in many cases it’s perfectly legit. but you could also do something like this:

“What the fuck,” Jack mumbled, still half asleep. “You better have a really fucking good reason to be waking me up this early. Like someone better have fucking died.”

and sometimes that’s just a more fun way to say it. (for the record you can also show AND tell here! there’s no reason why you can’t have this line of dialogue and then a line in the narration confirming how very much jack is not a morning person!)

the last reason why i am particularly fond of dialogue is because i am also particularly fond of communication, which is a preference thing. let’s face it, guys: characters aren’t gonna communicate if they’re not literally actually talking to each other. dialogue means talking to each other. talking to each other means solving problems, fixing (or creating) conflicts, understanding each other better. i love communication, ergo, i love dialogue. And You Should Too.

5. describe the world, but don’t over-describe. i opened this fic earlier and it was like “jack was excited to wake up to go to his first class at the university of baltimore” and i just. i was like is this really relevant. do i really need to know this. and i never found out because i closed the fic but in my defense it was on wattpad and i had only opened it out of curiosity. look. there are three ways to use details in fic. (a) introduce them right away (b) introduce them when they become relevant or (c) don’t introduce them at all. let me give you some examples.

(a) say your character A (i’m using jack because i’m used to him) wakes up. he’s in his room in his house off-campus. character B (rian) walks into the room. this might be a good time to explain that rian is his housemate. to that point: “show not tell” is a good rule, but sometimes “show and tell” is just as good. e.g.:

Rian walks in, holding Jack’s Green Day shirt and looking irritated. That’s really nothing new; Rian looks irritated at Jack roughly once a day. Being housemates for a year will do that to a friendship.

boom, now you’ve let everyone know they live together without throwing it in their face, and you’ve also told everyone that these two guys are friends and have been friends for at least a year but probably longer. you showed it by having rian walking in holding jack’s shirt - usual housemate behavior - but you also told it in a subtle way that established the relationship and some kind of history between these two. well done.

(b) sometimes you want a certain detail to make an impact. this is the kind of thing you hold onto and don’t specify, and in certain cases you leave the reader wondering, “well what about x?” and then when you finally explain x they go ohhhhhhhhhh. yknow. the italicized oh. consider the following:

(A)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says, referring to Jack’s ex-boyfriend of last year.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

(B)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

the only difference between these two excerpts (which i just wrote lol they’re not from anything real) is that the second one doesn’t explain who alex is right away. that makes it way more interesting when rian reveals who alex is a few lines later. magic.

(c) take this college au that we’ve established here. where does it take place, you ask? easy answer: it doesn’t matter. you don’t need to say what school they’re at. this will make your job easier, because then no one can fact check you, and it also means you don’t have to decide what school they’re at. but even if you do decide, it’s not usually necessary to say. believe me, you can go thousands of words without ever needing to specify what school they’re at. you know why? because it doesn’t matter. and no one cares. and as soon as you specify in canon that they’re at a particular school, you are bound to be accurate to everything that school does, and that makes your job way more difficult than it needs to be. as hazel once said, work smarter, not harder.

6. adverbs are also your friend. (yknow, words that describe verbs, typically ending in -ly, like “loudly” or “angrily” or “smoothly”.) ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue tags. (dialogue tags are the things you add to dialogue to say who’s talking and how they’re talking - like “he said” or “he whispered” or “he earnestly explained” or whatever). a lot of the writing advice you’ll see nowadays will usually guide you away from overusing dialogue tags other than the classic “says/said” and i STRONGLY concur with that advice. things like yelled, cried, mumbled, snapped - these are very good in moderation, when you’re really trying to emphasize the way a person is speaking. the more you use them, the less impact they have. in most cases, a simple “he said [adverb]” will do. instead of “he snapped” consider “he said curtly/sharply/coldly.” instead of “he mumbled” consider “he said quietly/clumsily/softly.” I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE ARE NOT DIRECT SYNONYMS. every word has a nuanced and slightly different meaning and that is the BEAUTY of the english language!!!! all i’m saying is that in many cases, a verb can be replaced with an adverb to achieve roughly the same effect, without making the reader feel like they’re scanning a thesaurus.

and speaking of a thesaurus: it’s not cheating to use outside resources like thesaurus.com to help you come up with words. i fuckin love thesaurus.com. i use that shit all the time for everything. i use it when i’m writing emails. i used it just now to write that last paragraph. thesaurus.com is your BEST friend.

7. grammar. (and spelling but that’s really a given.) unfortunately if i tried to teach you all of the essential rules of grammar this post would exceed tumblr’s previously-nonexistent word count limit. so i’m not gonna teach you any of them. this is just a general point to suggest that if/when you’re writing, have someone you trust, with a good grasp of grammar, look over it. of course it doesn’t have to be perfect or AP style or anything like that. readers will overlook a certain amount of grammar mistakes and every reader has a different threshold. but in general, as a grammar geek and former journalism editor-in-chief, i have a duty to my grammurai code to preach the importance of grammar in writing. good grammar does not necessarily mean good writing and vice versa, bad grammar does not necessarily mean bad writing, but bad grammar makes good writing a lot harder to read, and in some cases will even obscure your actual meaning. so please, have someone read it. for the record this is me offering up my services. i am very good at fixing grammar. i have lots of weaknesses in writing but grammar is one of my strengths. please prioritize grammar. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

***

okay so now that i’ve said all of this shit and pretended to be an expert and embodied everyone’s tenth grade english teacher, let me add one very important disclaimer:

none of this is always relevant.* writing is an art, not a science. you are never going to be following all of the rules, all of the time. you shouldn’t. it’s good to know the basics of constructing a plot, establishing a character, showing and/not telling, moving the story along. but a lot of this advice is really subjective and heavily influenced by my writing experience and habits and tendencies and preferences, and those are simply not generalizable to the world. i am a sample size of one and science dictates that that means my results cannot be statistically significant. i am just some guy. earlier i said you don’t want to over-describe the world. but maybe you do! maybe you’re really into worldbuilding and you want people to know what they’re getting into. maybe you’re like sam, and you just don’t feel as confident in your dialogue skills but you love painting word pictures. i said that adverbs are your friend, but maybe you just prefer to use verbs. maybe you don’t want ANY dialogue tags and you want the reader to interpret the dialogue based on context and content. i said that characters aren’t people and they won’t behave like people, but maybe you’re trying to write hyper-realistic characters. maybe you’re just going for believability over narrative. WHATEVER. the point is, rules are made to be broken. no one is going to have The Answer for How To Write Good because there isn’t just one answer. every single writing rule has exceptions and you can be that exception as many times as you want.

*except grammar. grammar is fucking always relevant.

i hope any of this advice was helpful to you, even though i english teacher-ed the fuck out of it. and for what it’s worth, i approached this as if you were a relatively novice writer, but i know absolutely jack shit about your writing prowess and experience and habits. so maybe you already know all of this and none of what i’ve said is helpful at all. if you have a more specific problem, i would be happy to try and help. if you’re hoping for more specific feedback, i’d have to read something of yours first - but again, happy to try and help. i don’t know if you can tell but i loooove writing and english and grammar and all of this shit and it would be my honor. i have now spoken so long that james madison himself is begging me to shut up so i’ll stop here but thank you for coming by and giving me the opportunity to expatiate a shit ton. and GOOD LUCK i forgot the most important advice of writing which is HAVE FUN LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE AND WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE OKAY BYE

#yowza #mamma mia #hachi machi #someone get this bitch a muzzle #i feel like i keep saying i sound like an english teacher here but i never specify that im not actually an english teacher #god i wish my blog brand was just 'the person you come to with writing questions'#is it too late to establish myself as that #ask #writing advice #stuff #im giving it the stuff tag. i said enough that i feel like it's earned the stuff tag.#anonymous #if i keep looking at this im just going to keep adding things because adhd-coded brain wants ME to overdescribe. hypocrite #so im just gonna hit post n run #good luck

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neoheros · 4 years

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how would haikyuu boys handle spending the night together? feat. kuroo tetsuro, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei

kuroo tetsuro

the first time you and kuroo spent the night together was a wednesday evening when you didn’t even plan on staying over

his parents left town for the day and it was a better time than any other to have you spend the afternoon

you were still both in your uniforms and with the school day you just had, it was safe to say that you deserved to lay on top of him on the couch while your hands are in his hair

you were tired from school and he was tired from practice

you barely even spoke to each other that afternoon, all you remember was him offering to take a nap with you in his bed and you being too sleepy to decline

you changed into one of his sweatshirts and a pair of shorts and when he saw you he just 🥺

kuroo: are we really that tired tho 👉👈

you, blinking: yes

the nap was so deep and peaceful that the only reason you woke up from it was because of the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway

that’s when you realize that you’ve actually spent the night and the bright light that’s been annoying your eyes for the past 2 minutes was the sun rising

you shift from your place but kuroo’s right grip on your waist only worsened as he pulled you closer to his chest

“stop moving so much,” he mumbles groggily, refusing to open his eyes as he snuggles against your shoulder blade

you panic, “kuroo we’re gonna be late,”

he takes a while to respond but you feel him nod softly against your skin, “we can skip first period,”

then you hear the front door open, your heart racing because kuroo clearly doesn’t have any plans on getting up soon

you try your best to push him away from you but the more you do the more his tightening his grip, too tired to open his eyes

you, panicking: if you don’t wake up now i’m breaking up with you

kuroo, mumbling: hmm we’ll get back together it’s okay

he’s pressing quick kisses against your shoulder and you almost swoon over the infatuated look he had on

“we should do this more often,” kuroo says, his voice quiet and you’re debating with yourself if he’s choosing not to hear his parents downstairs

you shift, “i know, i like this too, but your parents are home and i don’t want their first impression of me to be like this,”

he finally opens his eyes and lets go of the grip he had on you, you jump out of bed, hearing the footsteps from the stairs

“tetsu, are you awake yet?” his mom’s voice blared as she knocked on his door

you wanted to laugh as the panic set on your boyfriend’s face but you found yourself frozen still when you realize that this meant trouble if she found you in there

“kuroo, i swear to god, i will not let this be the first time your mom meets me,” you tell him in a hushed tone, quickly picking up your clothes

“yup!” he shouts back, and the first thing he could do when the doorknob twisted was shove you in his open closet

you yelp at the suddenness but you held the door closed as your pressed against his clothes in extreme tightness

“you’ll be late,” his mom says, entering his room

kuroo nods, “i’m actually skipping first period, my head hurts,”

there’s sweat on his forehead and his mom crosses her arms with a look

“fine,” she says, sighing, “your dad and i are going grocery shopping this morning so make sure to lock up before you go back to bed.”

kuroo lets out a breath of relief, walking his mom out the door and he shuffles to lock it before opening the closet to a rather agitated you

kuroo: i mean hey at least now we can have the morning in peace 😌

you, throwing a pillow at him: i hate you

kuroo, pulling you back in bed: hmm we’ll drive by starbucks before heading to school

you: i hate you less

tsukishima kei

first of all, sleeping with him is one thing and waking up next to him is another

he’s so stiff and on guard the whole time that you’d think he’s physically repulsed by the idea of you being beside him all night

you: i can take the floor, it’s really not a big deal

tsukki: are you kidding i’m not letting you sleep on the floor

you: wait aw 🥺

tsukki: at least take the couch

you can tell he’s anxious with the whole thing and you curse yourself for thinking it was a good enough time for the both of you to have a sleepover

but he’s just been away a lot from all the volleyball tournaments and it’s been so long since the two of you hung out that when he asked if you wanted to stay over you couldn’t say no

so now you’re left awkwardly sitting on his bed at 11 pm after the two of you finished a movie with nothing else to do

he eyes you down, you’re wearing one of his shirts which were obviously too big and a pair of sweats that you brought along

he glances at his watch, a faint pink on his face as he avoids your gaze

you: wait are you shy like are you actually

tsukki: hey remember when you offered to sleep on the floor

the two of you decide to just let tiredness take over you when you feel like it so you spend the next two hours in each other’s arms as you both scroll through tiktok

his nerves have calm down but you still feel the faint racing of his heart when you laugh from a video you see

you, internally: 🥺👉👈

but then you realize that hours have passed and neither of you are still tired enough to seriously lay down next to each other and try to sleep

tsukishima: do you want to go out for a drive?

you: it’s 3 am

tsukishima: ?

you: i like the way you think

AND ITS JUST SO !! FRICKEN !! ADORABLE !!!

he hands you an extra hoodie of his because it’s cold outside and he absolutely refuses to drive unless you put your seatbelt on

so it’s 3 am and the two of you are at a starbucks drivethru ordering too much caffeine for people who’re trying to fall asleep

you both end up chilling in their parking lot all morning just scrolling through twitter or tiktok and sometimes you’d feel him glance up at you from his phone but you decide not to mention it

you: why don’t we spend time like this more often

tsukishima: i honestly think you’ll find me boring if we hang out for more than an hour :/

you, soft: it actually takes less than an hour 🥺

before the two of you realize it you’ve fallen asleep in his car at a starbucks with the windows down and the 1975 blaring in the radio

you wake up first from the sunlight and you won’t deny the way your heart skipped a beat when you noticed how tsukki took off his hoodie to put on your thighs

you take off his glasses from his face, giving him a quick peck on the forehead before making sure he was comfortable and warm in his seat

he must’ve been tired and you really hope that you didn’t wake him up when you left the car to order more coffee for the both of you

akaashi keiji

THIS BOY IS AN ANGEL

he’s asleep by 10 pm and he’ll wake up at 8 just like he’s used to because he’s the most perfect boy in the world with the most perfect sleep schedule

you know of this fact and it bugs you cause sometimes you just really wanna facetime him at 3 am or reference him tiktoks that you found funny that day

so when he offered you a chance to stay over you were kinda on the rocks about it

you: yknow i sleep at 4 am right

akaashi: ... by choice?

you: at this point my body just shuts down when it wants to

akaashi, alarmed: oh

regardless of this fact, you could never turn down akaashi, it was like hard wired in your brain to never ever decline him and can you really blame yourself he’s 🥺

he insisted to stay up with you instead of you trying to fall asleep next to him at 9 pm but you just couldn’t put him through that

you put down your phone and even if it did feel odd to close your eyes without the sun rising, the sudden embrace by your boyfriend immediately made you forget about everything else

sleeping next to akaashi is utter heaven

he’s got his hand over your waist and his scent just envelops you in a non overpowering way

his fingers trail under your shirt and you shiver at how gentle they are

akaashi, under his breath: thank you for doing this

you, ready to risk it all: due to personal reasons i will be passing away ❤️

he places a quick kiss on your forehead before letting go of you and turning to his side

you felt like asking him back to you but you knew how tired he must’ve been so you don’t budge

you’re left staring at his room’s ceiling and you don’t know how long you did that but the next time you checked your phone it was already 1 am in the morning

you, internally: it’s like a talent omfg

aside from the fact that you’re close to tears as you think about how you stared at a ceiling for 3 hours straight because you didn’t want to go to sleep that much you stop fighting the inevitable

you prop yourself up on his headboard, careful not to wake him up beside you and start to go through what you usually do most nights

you’re so caught up on the tiktoks that you barely notice akaashi stirring from beside you before pulling the comforter over his head

he’s awake at this point and the silly grin on his face can’t be fought as he looks at you so indebted in what you watched

he leans against your shoulder, tired eyes and all whilst stifling back a yawn

you, sleepy: sorry for waking you

akaashi, just as sleepy: that’s ok, i like this better

the two of you spend the rest of the morning against each other on his headboard as you scroll through the contents of your phone

once akaashi realizes that you’ve fallen asleep, he gently pushes you back down on the pillows and your hands immediately make their way to embrace him

he will 100% take pictures before getting himself comfortable next to you, a soft smile on his face as he snuggles against your neck

akaashi, turning off his alarms: we can sleep in tomorrow

1K notes · View notes

random-mha-thoughts · 5 years

Text

Name (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x fem!Reader

Anon asked: “suggestion for Todoroki angst : he got in an arranged marriage with S/O because of his dad who offered a large amount of money to her family for this. Indeed it’s not what they are both looking for but Todoroki really acts cold, is sharp, openly criticizes her (a bit OOC ik) ... S/O is hurt but is still trying to be a good wife around the house to make the best of the situation and hide her insecurities. It’s just an idea, if it does not inspire you I hope you will find something better!! xx

Genre: Angst. Just...angst. I’m so sorry in advance plz don’t hate me

Warnings: Grab your tissues, this is a long roller coaster that’s only going downhill OH GOD I’M SO SORRY

Word count: 3,059

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: (Submission 1/3 for my post asking for todo angst ideas! Thanks for the ask anon!)

Um. This is...depressing. Really depressing and really intense. I didn’t expect it would turn out this way. But it did. I had 2 other endings, but I instinctively wrote this one. I actually had to stop and cry for a few minutes because it was just really painful I mean, I know I said I was ready to but I didn’t actually mEAn it

I tried a different style for this, but I think it suits the story well. It’s 3rd person limited because I wanted you to experience everyone’s feelings in this (gotta maximize on the angst yknow) and half past tense bc of reasons you’ll find out.

God I’m afraid to post this. Is it bad that I love it, I honestly spent so much time writing this, but it hurts sO mUch?? Y’all are gonna hate me, you’re gonna kill me, oh no, just read the thing already, I’m hiding.

Buy me a coffee?

Shoto didn't know how to react to the news. It's not that he had his eye on anyone in particular, or that he was even interested in marriage for that matter. But because he proposed it, the man who had spent his entire childhood controlling every aspect of his life, he refused to accept any other intrusions from the man he should call "father."

The strange man across from his father spoke those words so casually. "So Endeavor, when are these two tying the knot?"

At first, he thought he had misheard or misunderstood. And then his father responded just as casually, "The date is set for next month."

The normally calm and collected boy almost burst the entire room into flames. He clenched the silverware so hard his knuckles turned white and his teeth ground together, but he couldn't say anything in front of his father's guest and his daughter for fear of shaming himself. The girl across from him offered a sympathetic look, but he turned away, already preparing the earful he's going to give his father.

"I want nothing to do with this!" he whirled on Endeavor as soon as they were home. "You've made my life a living hell controlling every single thing! And now you even want to control my marriage?!"

"I'm doing this for you!" Endeavor bellowed right back. "For the Todoroki name! For your future!"

"This is all for you! I want no part-!"

"If you don't agree, you'll never see your mother or the siblings again."

The calm threat was enough to drench Shoto's wrath into submissive fear. The flaming monster in front of him proved once again that he hasn't an ounce of sympathy for his blood. He's learned that family is the only thing keeping his son under his thumb and he still actively exploits that weakness.

All the boy can do is swallow and walk away, retreating to the outside world to escape his bitter reality even temporarily. Shoto doesn't have outbursts often, but there are times when the straw finally breaks the camel's back, and this is one of them. All he can do is run until he can't run anymore, reaching somewhere secluded enough where he can burst out in flames and ice without hurting anyone, finally getting to a forest where he can do exactly that and scream to his heart's content. It's the only thing he can do that is under his own control.

In the month that followed up to the wedding, Shoto barely spoke a word to anyone, choosing to isolate himself. He only came out when he absolutely had to show his face at functions to the bride's family and look presentable. His mind was always absent, the time flying in a blur of colors and white. Thankfully, his father did the preparations, so all he had to do was go along with everything. Shoto was simply playing a role in a play or movie, he was an actor who deserved an award for being in character for a month.

The night of the wedding, he and his newly-wedded wife were whisked away to their new home, being alone for the first time together. He didn't even know what she looked like nor did he care. As soon as they walked through the door of their already-furnished house, he released a heavy breath, brushed past her, unbuttoned his tuxedo, and - cold as his ice quirk - instructed, "I'm going to bed. Don't come up tonight." It was the first time he had ever spoken directly to her.

His wife, through this entire ordeal, was patient with him. She didn't want this arrangement either, but she figured they could at least talk and come to a mutual agreement. The entire month, she never pushed him to speak to her. She anticipated that he would be rational about this, as she was told by her family, and that they would be able to talk things over when they were finally alone. Just as she was going to speak her mind the way she had rehearsed it many times, he dismissed her. She was hurt, but she understood. He's exhausted after a whole month of stress and preparations, she rationalized, He just wants to rest. I wouldn't want to talk to a stranger after all that either.

Resolving to try again tomorrow morning, she undressed (with great difficulty), crept into the master bedroom for her clothes while Shoto showers, retrieved her pajamas quietly, and retreated back to the living room. The girl searched all the closets for a thick enough blanket and settles down to sleep on a couch, the exhaustion putting her right to sleep.

The next morning, the new Mrs. Todoroki woke up bright and early to make breakfast for her husband as an olive branch. She toiled away in the kitchen, somewhat making a racket even though she wanted to stay quiet so Shoto can sleep. Just as she finished setting the table and had to face the question of how to wake him, the boy padded down from the room.

"Oh, morning!" she smiled brightly at him.

He murmured a greeting back only to be polite, his face devoid of any real emotions other than coldness. He sat as far away from her a possible, thanking her for the meal halfheartedly and digging in without another word.

After waiting a few moments to let him satisfy his hunger, she cleared her throat. "So, um-"

"Your tamagoyaki needs more soy sauce and butter," he stated bluntly.

She blinked at the harsh comment. It was shocking he said anything to her at all, and the first thing he said was an insult.

"And the miso has no flavor," he continued in the same tone.

The girl finally gathered her wits. "I'll do better tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback, I guess?" she laughed nervously, trying to erase the immense tension Shoto bled into the atmosphere. When he didn't respond, she tried again. "I know this isn't something either of us wanted, but that doesn't mean we have to live here like enemies. We could be friends, or even just roommates!"

"I'd rather be strangers," he interjected harshly.

It felt like a stab in the heart. Here she was, trying to make their lives somewhat bearable together through their common misfortune, and all he wanted to do was live like ghosts in the same house.

Shoto placed his chopsticks down firmly, glaring her straight in the eyes with the iciest hatred she's ever seen. "Just to be clear, I want no part of you. You live your life and I live mine. You can have the bedroom to sleep at night if you want, but it's mine when I come home to shower and prepare for bed. We will not sleep, talk, or breathe near each other as long as we are in this house."

She dipped her head in defeat, unable to bear the weight of his stare. "C-Can we at least have our meals together?" she asked feebly.

It's something he respected, coming from family values no matter how broken. It's the only exception he made to their less-than relationship.

Months passed and she kept her end of the bargain through a suffocating routine. At first, the girl was kind, trying to get him to open up to her somehow without overstepping her boundaries. She made excuses for him constantly. He's just tired. The least I can do is leave him alone. I can't comfort him anyway, I'm a stranger. He's still upset about the whole thing, he'll come around. She even begged her boss to let her leave a little early every day to make sure she had ample amount of time to get home, shower, and prepare dinner before Shoto returned. When he did, he wordlessly showered, sat down to dinner, nitpicked at her cooking, finished eating, and went to sleep on the living room couch, all without even sparing her a glance.

But as every day passed, she grew more weary and worn in her efforts to please him. She tried to fix every little complaint Shoto had about her cooking or the cleanliness of the house or the laundry, but nothing seemed to satisfy him. She tried to hold onto the silver lining. At least he never touched me wrong or took advantage of me, she would think bitterly. He has the decency not to take his anger out on me.

Then the dark thoughts closed in as he continued ignoring her. Surely, Shoto's only disgusted with his father, he doesn't harbor hatred for her personally. Then she would remember the hate and disgust in his mismatched eyes the first day of their marriage. She realized no matter how desperately she tried, he wouldn't show her any signs of warmth or appreciation. No more did she try to make conversation with him during meals or greet him when he came home. There were days she thought, Why should I even try? He wouldn't like it either way. What's the point of getting up today? Maybe he'll even criticize how I sleep. But she still rose out of bed every morning and carried out her routine because it could always be worse.

A sliver of hope came in the form of Shoto's birthday. The girl figured if she did something just a little special, he would acknowledge her even the tiniest bit. She spent days beforehand researching and testing out the perfect cold soba recipe because she knew it was his favorite. She lit some candles on the table and bought a small cake for them to share.

When he came home, she was sure he would notice and say something, but he didn't; he went straight up to the bathroom as he usually did without a word. Though she felt the glimmer lessen in her heart, she didn't give up. For the first time in a while, she verbalized her thoughts to him.

"I made your favorite for your birthday!" she chirped as he sat down, setting the plate and a cup of dipping sauce in front of him. She was so eager for him to try it because she was confident she'd gotten it right this time. If she were a dog, her tail would've wagged in anticipation as he slurped the noodles into his mouth. She waited patiently for his feedback, leaning forward in excitement as he swallowed.

"The noodles are slightly overcooked. And the dipping sauce is too strong, you didn't add enough water."

Her hopes came crashing to a halt. She couldn't even muster anything else to say as he hastily finished his dinner and rose to leave.

She stood up, heart hammering in her chest. "What about the cake?" Anything, something!

"I don't want it." He turned his back to her.

"I got it for you!" It was the first time she explicitly stated her intentions, the first time she made herself vulnerable.

"You shouldn't have gotten it at all. It was a waste of time. Why did you even try?" The calm and cold words stung her as he got up and left her in the dining room alone.

His words echoed against the empty walls of the dining room. She looked down at the cake he disregarded, feeling cold and dizzy. She took a shaky breath in and out before resting her head on the cold glass table to stabilize herself. The voice stabs through her even as she closed her eyes to block them out.

It was then she felt bluntly in her mind. He hates me.

The girl feels nothing but numbing cold, both on her face and inside. Rolling up to sit, her neck and back cry out in soreness from sleeping on the table, pale light greeting her from the nearby window. Her face feels strange, and she trudges to the bathroom mirror to check why. She knows she should be preparing for work, but what's the point? Her reflection reveals lines across her cheek, probably from sleeping on the edge of the table. She shuffles to the kitchen because she should probably start breakfast, but why should she? Leaning against the counter, she can't bring herself to move anywhere. Her brain buffers as she tries to force herself to think of what to do now. She doesn't feel sick, but there's a dull, cool feeling in her limbs that she can't face.

The phone rings, catching her off guard. Glancing at the number, she doesn't hesitate to answer. "Hello?"

"Hi, baby. It's me."

Her eyebrows relax, appreciating the sound of a familiar voice. "Hey, Mom. What's up?" She knows her voice sounds weak, she's hoping the woman can't hear it.

"I'm just checking in, you haven't called in a while. Is something up? You don't sound good."

"I'm...fine," she stumbles over the word. "How's dad?"

"He's doing well. You sure you're not sick, sweetie?"

"I'm not." She leans her back on the counter.

"Is Shoto there? How is he?"

And just like that, she feels something dislodge in her throat. "He's going to work, he probably left early." She doesn't know, there hasn't been any rustling in the house.

Her mom is silent for a while. "Tell me the truth. What happened?"

The sound of her mother's stern voice moves something in her chest. "It's nothing, I just made a mistake."

"Doing what?"

"I tried making Shoto's favorite dish for his birthday yesterday. I put so much time and energy into perfecting it for him to enjoy it, but I fell short again." She laughs bitterly, tears starting to fill her eyes. "He didn't even want the cake I got for him, he said it was a waste. I shouldn't have bothered with it." She blinks and a tear slides down her face. "I don't know why I was expecting something different to happen, I'm so stupid."

"Honey, where is this coming from? What's going on?"

She wipes her face, but more spill out of her eyes as she slides down the cabinet onto the cold floor. "It's just a little frustrating when you're sharing a house with someone you're married to and they barely acknowledge you. I mean, I expected there to be problems at first given the circumstances, but I didn't expect this." Her voice shakes with every word. "God, what did I do to deserve this? I've lived in this house for 5 months, and never has he even said 'thank you' to me. Hasn't breathed a word of appreciation to me. I do so much for him. I've bent over backwards for him just to make everything done the way he wants it, I've worked my entire routine, my entire life in this house to cater to him, but all he does is complain!" She sobs into the phone, curling up into a ball as tremors wrack through her body. "I'm just so tired. I don't know how much more I can take. I've made so many excuses for him, but I just can't do anything right. Why am I even still here?"

Her mother is silent on the other line. "My baby, if I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have allowed this marriage. I can't believe you're going through this."

The girl can't formulate words or think anything coherent. She drops the phone out of her hand, wrapping her legs to her chest as the tremors continue in waves, muffled whimpers the only thing escaping her lips because she's afraid to cry out loud despite being in an empty, lonely house.

Shoto heard something he probably shouldn't have, but he definitely needed to hear. It bothered him for the rest of the day. It was a sobering slap in the face that made him feel shame and regret, a hard-to-swallow pill that sat in his stomach the entire day.

On his way back home, the sound of her sobs echoes in his mind. He curses his behavior from the past few months. At the very least, he made a lady cry, and at the most, he's been a complete asshole. It's all his fault, that is something he's completely aware of and is ready to take full responsibility for. All this time, he was stupidly neglecting her out of spite for his father, but he broke her in the process. He's angry that he had to hear her crying to realize that. The only thing he can do now is hurry home to profusely apologize for what he's done and hope they can start over new and she forgives him, which he's prepared for her not to do.

Honestly, he deserves all the hate from her that he's shown her. After everything she's done for him and all the effort she's put into their imbalanced relationship, he wouldn't be surprised if she yelled at him and called him all sorts of names.

Shoto walks through the door, the atmosphere different. The house is quiet as usual, but it's more eerie than he remembers, as if that means anything with how aloof he was. He slips into the bedroom and changes quickly, returning back to the quiet dining room where his dinner waits for him at his place.

He tentatively sits and spares a quick glance at the girl who's supposed to be his wife. Her eyes are still puffy and she's tugging at her sleeves. It seems she's avoiding him and he was avoiding her before. He questions how things should start. When is the right time to speak his piece. Would she listen to him now? He decides to take a bite first and chews slowly. I guess a 'thank you' is a good place to start-

"We're getting a divorce."

He stops suddenly, almost choking.

"You don't owe me anything, and I don't want anything from you." She isn't looking at him, voice calm and collected. "Besides, it's better this way since it's what you wanted." She rises from her seat smoothly. "I've already packed for the next few nights. I'll have some workers come in the following weeks to clear out the rest, and the papers will be delivered promptly." Her footsteps recede from the room.

Shoto turns around to call out to her, and his minds comes up blank.

He never even bothered to remember her name.

Sequel?

Sequel!

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki angst #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #female reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

935 notes · View notes

enderspawn · 4 years

Note

🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1. Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2. Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3. Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #exile arc #HHHHNG IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE JFKLDSJ #I PROMISED MYSELF ID FINISH THIS ASK GAME UP AND WOULDNT GO IN DEPTH AS MUCH THEN DID EXACTLY THAT W THREE SONGS JFKDSL #tommy #answered #song ask game #listen the last song is a LIL bit of a stretch but its my playlist i get to put in the not depressing song fjdkls #Anonymous

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channelmono · 4 years

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I dunno if I have a lot to say, but I figured that give how many people follow me, I wanna share some tips on preserving mental health during these chaotic times

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have noticed my last story QA, which was a bit of a survey just to see how some of you lovely monitors are feeling, because I know the world in general has been stressed lately for obvious reasons. The elephant in the room is that we as individuals are all walking a tightrope of staying up-to-date about the future and how to maintain our physical health while also trying to preserve a sense of productivity and activity to sustain our mental health, the latter of which I’m noticing being especially strenuous for many of you, likely because this prolonged period of uncertainty and anxiety is highly unfamiliar. I want to disclaim right away: I am not a doctor, I am not a psychologist trained in extensive therapy who knows how to guide each and every one of you to your healthiest behaviors. However, I still wish to still help you with some advice. I do wish to see you as my friends, and as my friends, I want to ensure that you are happy and healthy. I already have a history of self-isolation, and without getting too in-depth of the exact details, this involuntarily hermit-like lifestyle we’re all being encouraged to ascribe to has been my way of living for the past several years (the involuntary-ness included). I’ve become much more acclimated to not just being alone, but stuck in a place of residence with little directive or seeming control of my own future, with a long history of trying to discern of not just what to do with my life in general, but just getting through the day-to-day. I want to discuss that day-to-day, because the month(s) away we have from returning to a normal world again is still comprised of many, many days, and if I can’t come up with a surefire long-term plan for how to deal with a future we are all in unfamiliar territory of dealing with, I can at least suggest a few low-cost stepping stones to helping you take in each day a lot easier, and hopefully help lift a bit of the collective burden over however long we may be like this. 1) DON'T LET YOURSELF GIVE UP. I feel like this is a bit of an obvious tip that might come across as “are you feeling sad? Just be happy!”, but hear me out. One of the biggest sources of human (or human-equivalent) stress is the feeling that one has no control over their life. The period where I fussed incredibly hard about the fate of my future as I was first condemned was one of the darkest, most exhausting parts of my life, as were all the times I had done before. It wasn’t merely that I was so ashamed of my failures, but it was the fact that I’d constantly and semi-consciously associate it with my entire being, to the point where I couldn’t make a casual joke in a non-depressed context that didn’t end with a side remark of how I wanted to die (now that I explained it without context… yikes.) Eventually, there was a eureka moment for me where I had enough of being tired. I’m not sure exactly what triggered it -- perhaps it was just dealing with the banality of the isolation, perhaps it was just me thinking more about how I mentally hurt myself and what I could do to stop, perhaps it was me simply deciding to find professional psychological help for it -- but whatever the case, I realized that even if the world could do bad things to me, I wanted to stop doing things that would hurt myself, as not only was being good to myself the least that I could do, but it also helped me forge a modicum of very real power for my self-esteem, giving that first boost to kickstart my life again (in part by starting this channel and making new online friends!) This wasn’t a solution to get rid of all my outside problems, but rather a means to help accept that things would be tough, but I could still live with them. Challenges will need to be faced, and there will be failures because that’s how life can be sometimes, but it also helped me better comprehend that there will also be victories, because that’s ALSO how life can be sometimes! I can’t say for sure how each and every one of you will be able to help yourself realize that negativity, hopelessness, and cynicism are not the only means to approach an uncertain and stressful future. Perhaps you already realized it! Perhaps you were in the process of realizing it but the articulation of my journey may give some guidance. Perhaps you still need some more time and thought to think about it. But whichever way, I implore you to consider that this future is not solely one to be defeated by, but one which you can fight to be happy in… and win. 2) GIVE YOURSELF A DAILY RHYTHM. One of the biggest things I see people complaining about is how without their usual daily schedule with work or school, their mental acuity is going haywire and it’s difficult to get things done. There are many reasons for why our brains are reacting to the situation the way they do: a bunch of collective trauma surrounding the pandemic putting our brains on edge for what to expect next, stress making us unable to register complex tasks, our inner survival instinct diverting away our ability to think about personal minutiae, etc. The human brain is a fickle thing doing its best to cope with the trauma it’s presented with, and first and foremost, it’s important to be patient with yourself. Going back to the “how to take on the day-to-day”, let’s talk about schedules. The truth is that many of us crave at least a mild semblance of structure and compartmentalization, and a big factor for why our minds are getting sloggy is because we’ve lost the ones we followed, mostly ones imposed onto us by our professions, and were wholly unprepared to figure out a compensation plan (as many of you students learning via Zoom conferences are aware). The practical trick I have to help remedy this is a pretty basic-on-paper one: seek out your own schedule. Speaking from my own experience, the daily grind into this miasma of a future becomes less cumbersome once you intuit what you actually define as “the daily grind”. This is not to say you need to become a rigid, Clock King-esque fanatic who plans every action by the minute, as simply understanding what you do and what you WANT to do will be of help. For me, I schedule my alarm clock to go off at 8:30. Every day I get up and make coffee or tea along with breakfast for myself and The Master. My current daily priorities are messy janitorial duties and Animal Crossing, while my personal hobbies that I’d reserve to my free time include filming content, playing video games, watching movies or Youtube, cooking, or going outside to jog. Every week or so, I go out for groceries. I do my best to go to bed and sleep before midnight. Of course, this is just MY schedule, but this is how rudimentary it can get while still giving me a sense of fulfillment when I do pass the time as I do accomplish my tasks. There are many ways to go about it, but really, one of the simplest ways to recognize them in your life is just write it out. Actually articulate it into just a really simple list that you have to transfer from mind onto paper/digital text. This is especially recommended if additional tasks or changes to your life occurs: write it down so you can remember everything! And allow yourself to do it! This is not to say you should be worrying constantly about how productive you are, as the goal is not to define yourself by how much you accomplish per day, but rather a way to give yourself that sorely needed daily rhythm we all miss, while allowing you to reward yourself when you hit your goals. And like every plan, it doesn’t need to be flawless -- there will be times where we need to relax and take a break. There might be emergencies to deal with. There may be times where things are so overwhelming where it’s like “Yknow what? I don’t wanna do anything today.” And that’s okay. On a related note: Something I’d like to place importance on with my schedule is my sleep. As someone who has experienced long periods of miserable exhaustion in my life, I cannot overstate just how important and cathartic a good, consistent sleep schedule is. I’m not joking: the night when I stopped being “insomniac” by going to bed tired but staying on my phone up until 2 AM, and instead actually went to bed at 11-ish, I woke up feeling the best I had in years. Exhaustion no longer felt like a necessary, expected burden. I felt legitimately well-rested, and discovering that I could freely feel things that weren’t depression was almost epiphanic (if that’s a word lol). I know that going to sleep and waking up on a consistent time of day might sound chore-like to many of you night owls, and there may be other concerns at play like actual insomnia, but I implore you to at least consider giving yourself a consistent nightly rhythm as well as your daily one. Being exhausted is an easy way to get stuck in your own head, and if you’re thinking dark thoughts and lack the energy to force yourself out, you can be in trouble. Don’t underdo or overdo it that you still feel like crap when you wake up. Be honest to yourself. Good sleep can be incredibly rewarding in ways that you might not even believe until you experience it for yourself.

#channel mono #no signal studio #mental health #quarantine #quarantine life

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loveseungs · 6 years

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stray kids reacting to you waking them up by kissing them all over their face

requested by anon

a/n: oh hell very nice

warnings: very soft things ahead read @ ur heart’s own risk

chan

- o heck - o goodness - where even do u start - he’ll prolly be passed the heck out if he even gets the chance to sleep - so like,, u’d often avoid tryna wake him up - esp caus we ALL KNO HE NEEDS IT,,, LIKe,,, - anyway - but he already slept for a good 10 hours and u know he needed to be somewhere so u hopped over to the side of the bed n started showering channie in kisses - just!! some soft n innocent pecks all over his face - his eyes slowly flutter open n he’s kinda confused for 5 secs but when he realizes he’s being,, showered in love n affection… the BIGGEST smile appears on his face - ok u know the face chan makes when he smiles rlly big where his eyes sorta disappear and he giggles a lil bit while smiling - fricfricfricfric abort mission as a chan stan im attacking myself - he’s just grinning like a fool and ur beginning to get flustered so u stop - he takes this opportunity to smooch ur nose - “good morning, sunshine!”

woojin

- i’d like 2 imagine u often fall asleep cuddling woojin bc he’s The Bear of the Century - he’s just… v v v warm and soft - but one time u guys fell asleep on the couch after watching some good ol’ romcoms, buried in each other’s arms - u were very much asleep but the sun kinda hit ur eyes as it seeped through the curtains and u woke up, feeling a little bit of weight on ur waist - u realized woojin was still snuggled into u - ajdlkasjdklajlkdajsl ur heart was melting wow what does it feel like 2 wake up smothered under the snuggles of the love of ur life - u shifted ur postion to plant tiny kisses all over his face bc ksjaldjlaksjldaj kim woooooooojin - like he was already awake bc u shifted in ur position but he decided to pretend he was sleeping so he could receive more kisses - kim woojin is a sly lil’ fricker ʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔ - when woojin opened his eyes suddenly and smiled his Woojin SmileTM,, u almost fell out of the couch - “ur awake!!!” u exclaimed, covering ur face - “yes, I am,” he answered, pulling u into a close hug - suddenly ur face was like - 0.5 cm away from his n jkdslkdalsdjklasjdlka - he rested his forehead on urs so he could stare into your eyes,, which he thought were just. ugh. So heckn beautiful - “I didn’t expect to be woken up in such a pleasant way,” he admits, letting his eyes linger on yours.

minho

- ughhh I feel like minho loves this sorta thing - k so like - minho took one glance at his cats and decided that he was jealous of them bc they were sleeping so peacefully - so he decided, ‘yknow,, I’m going to take a good, well-deserved nap.’ - thing is - he forgot u were coming over to hang - when u got to his house, u saw minho just,, paSSED OUT on the couch - lmao me - u were just gonna let him sleep more for a bit caus g00dness knows he is in need of rest - but soonie and doongie started to meow and paw at their empty bowls - smh minho,, feed ur siblings - so u kneel down beside the couch and attempt to wake minho up - but ofC NOT BEFORE PULLING OUT UR PHONE AND SNAPPING PICS OF THIS BAREFACED BEAUTY - usually people look decent sleeping,,, but minho was just,, OUT COLD LMAO - next time minho teased u,,, u had smth u could use against him (◕ ˬ ◕✿) - its not like u took pics bc he looked rlly cute and peaceful,,, like,,, um,,, TOTALLY NOT - anyway,, his cat-siblings were getting kinda hungry so u moved over n started 2 plant smol kisses on his face - he mumbled some incoherent strings of sounds, but ended up fluttering his eyes open - when he realized it was u pressing kisses on his face, he just grinned - “oh?” he teased. “can’t resist me, can you?” - but his confident demeanor couldn’t fool you. you saw his ears turn bright (and I mean BRIGHT) pink - “no, not really. It’s more for you because I know you like it so much.” - “so do it more, why don’t you?”

changbin - CHANGBIN FALLS ASLEEP EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE - JUST SAYING - LIKE,, HE’S THE MEMBER MOST OFTEN CAUGHT SLEEPING ON VLOG - so when you find him knocked out cold in the studio, you’re not even surprised - it’s supposed to be lunch break but the others made u go and get changbin, who they thought was still working on music prod - NO! HE’S ASLEEP - u walk towards the sleeping boy and kiss the top of his head!! - ughh he smells good - a natural, fruity scent - wow seo changbin. just marry me - u make ur way from his hair to his forehead, then to the tip of his nose, then his cheeks - u were even considering giving him a short peck on the lips but u were interrupted bc those lips u wanted 2 kiss started to turn upwards into a smile - his eyes were closed but u could tell he was awake n u started 2 kinda get flusterd bc ‘O NO CHANGBIN CAUGHT ME BEING SOFT’ - expecting some kind of witty remark about his handsomeness, you brace yourself… only to find… - changbin looking at u with such a tender gaze - asklajdlksjdklad reader,, - he is so in love with you. - his eyes say it all: the way he stares at you so delicately is proof that he, seo changbin, is deeply, madly in love with you. - “So… are you gonna continue and kiss me on my lips? I mean… it’s too late to stop now.”

hyunjin

- LSJADLSDJLKASJDLKASJDAS HWANG HYUNJIN IS WHIPPED FOR KISSES - like honestly - he loves receiving kisses just as much as he loves giving them - this is actually how he wakes u up quite often—by smothering u in lil’ smooches - HE MAKES SURE HIS LIPS ARE ALWAYS IN PERFECT CONDITION BC HE N E E D S TO BE SURE THAT WHOEVER RECEIVES HIS KISSES LOVE THEM - and o my hell, u rlly do - but one time, you wake up and he’s still asleep, cuddling his pillow - this is when u decide to turn the tables and for the first time… pepper him in kisses - just. all over his face - but wait. U wanted 2 make sure they were The Best,, so u even took an extra step and quietly made ur way to the bathroom to brush ur teeth - THE LEAST U COULD DO WAS KISS HIM SMELLING DECENT, ALRIGHT - anyway, u crawled into bed again and started to smooch him all over his face - u just - admired every single one of his facial features and kissed them - he woke up with a sleepy giggle and before u knew it,, u were the one being smothered in kisses - “I see you’re trying to use my tricks on me. That’s so adorable.” - EVERY TIME I IMAGINE SLEEPY HYUNJIN I KINDA DIE A LITTLE BC SLEEPY!HYUNJIN ON CAMERA’S REALLY REALLY CUTE henlp im soft - bonus: on days hyunjin is especially hard to wake up, you do end up kissing him but he replies with the most obscure things - you: smooches him - him: “please don’t tell me they ran out of chicken”

jisung

- listen - anything u do to jisung makes him weak - he’s just so - HE LOVES!! AFFECTION - he’s constantly asking u if u could meet up - I mean, in regards to ur schedules - bc he rlly enjoys being w u !! - and u love 2 be with him - Saturday nights became hangout night for u two - usually u’d go shopping or take a walk in the part - sometimes even just go on spontaneous trips to far away - but tonight, yall jus wanted to stay in - the weather has been cold lately, so yall opted to jus snuggle and watch Netflix - it was already quite late when ur movie finished and by the time it did, jisung was sleeping on ur shoulder - ‘ah.. he must be tired,’ you thought, examining his face - he looked,,, so tranquil, so calm… - what a rare moment bc we all know he’s rlly l o u d - but ur shoulder was starting to hurt and u wanted to make sure u could sleep comfortably - “jisung,” you whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. “wake up… the movie’s over and I don’t want to sleep sitting down.” - he stirred a little bit, but his eyes remained closed - “jisuuuuungggg…” you mumbled, “if you don’t wake up, I’m going to kiss you.” - he’d woken up already, but seeing as you made such an offer, he mustered all his strength not to smile and pretended he was asleep - you sighed and smooched his cheeks. “jisuuung, wake up.” - “no,” he said quietly. “if I do, you won’t kiss me.” - gosh darn fellas which kdrama is this - why am I writing such cheesy things,,, I actually apologize - “can we please not sleep sitting down??? My back hurts, okay??” you requested, slapping jisung’s squirrel cheeks playfully. - “okay, but you have to wake me up like that again tomorrow.”

felix

- one word: - disaster - absolute calamity - rule 1: don’t make lee felix’s heart melt or else - but like - u, dear reader, are a rule breaker - anyway - ur neighbors w/ felix so u can easily just barge into his house n wake him up for school - and that’s what’d happen anyway - you guys would wake up, wake each other up, get ready, then head out together - it was just an average morning, and u went over to felix’s house like usual - his mom kindly let u inside and thanked u for always taking time to wake her mess of a son up - “it’s my pleasure,” you answered, heading to his room - sdjaklsdjlaskdjal did I ever mention - felix is THE BIGGEST KID ever - sometimes, it’s hard to spot him on his bed because there are like,,, - A LITERAL MOUNTAIN OF PLUSHIES - and some of them are really big - so u walk over to him and in the whirlpool of stuffed toys, you spot his face - its kinda funny how he’s sprawled out on his bed tho - if u took out the blanket, u’d see his limbs just,, everywhere - so when I say he’s sprawled out, he’s really sprawled out - gosh was this what u were gonna deal with in the married life??? - anyway u went to just smack him in the head w a pillow - like usual - but then for some reason - his face looked extra cute today - maybe it was the plushies - maybe its just because he’s sleeping - you knew rule 1 said: don’t make lee felix’s heart melt or else - but !! the way !! he was !! lying there !! - u could not resist and u kissed every single freckle on his face - “wake up, sleepyhead,” you whispered, running a hand through his hair - when he woke up and realized what was happening - he s c r e a m e d - rip headphone users - yall know how he screamed when changbin kissed him in the survival show, right?? - yeah, THAT, but 10x more wild - he just let out a ghastly scream and fell off the bed,, - wrapped himself in his blanket - “felix!!” you exclaimed, “what’s wrong??” - “STOP!! IT’S TOO EARLY TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU, [Y/N]!!!!!!”

seungmin

- he’s not the biggest person on skinship - I mean yeah he was cool with it but it wasn’t something he’d search for every second - homeboy’s jus chill - he’s a very diligent boy who believes that rest is v impt so he always makes sure to sleep early so he can wake up early - so usually its him who wakes u up with a gentle pat and a kind “good morning!” - but one time, u find out that he’s out late because minho insists that skz extends practice for a little bit - that little bit turned into a p LONG WHILE - totally not bc they fooled around during practice,,, lmao… what r u talking about - anyway, long story short, seungmin gets home late,, but he doesn’t rlly care bc it’s a weekend after - he finds u already asleep and though he’s disappointed he can’t talk to u now, he settles in to just cuddle u until he falls asleep - when u woke, u were surprised to feel a weight on ur waist - aaaand there it was folks, a seungmin in slumber - aaaaaaahhh u were lowkey shocked bc!!! Seungmin !! was cuddling u!! - rare - u felt very thankful and happy that seungmin had u tight in his arms - for a while, u just laid in bed and thought about how much u loved this boy - soft morning hours = very open - it wasn’t until he shuffled and turned to the other side of the bed when u decided to wake him up so u could have breakfast - u decided to kiss seungmin all over his beautiful face !! - when he woke up, he frowned… - “…ew, [y/n]. you’re so cheesy.” - u scrunched ur nose. “mmm? You don’t like it?” - “no, not really,” he answered, leaning to kiss you on the lips.

jeongin

- ASDFGHJKL OKAY SO LIKE - highschool!au real quick hope u don’t mind - u were dating jeongin for quite some time - and u were v v v v v happy with it !! he treated u very well - whenever u’d go out, he’d always be rlly considerate - lmao the first time u went out,,, he bought a nice jacket that ur friends said u found cute on guys - he TRIED to impress u, and u couldn’t help but laugh bc the tag of the jacket was still on the back, which means he must’ve only bought the jacket in attempts to make u swoon or smth - anyway - u were really in love with his sweet boy - this sweet boy… who u wanted to surprise after his chorale practice - but as the evening crept in closer, u started to worry - where was jeongin?? - he wasn’t in the practice room - u checked everywhere !!! and he wasn’t there!!! - u even shot him a message but he didn’t reply - ur last stop was the library, and lo and behold - homeboy fell asleep on his books - we stan a hardworking student folks - u couldn’t help but giggle - shaking him lightly, u mumbled, “hey jeongin… wake up, it’s late and the library’s about to close.” - all he did was move his head and stir a little bit - his bangs covered his eyes a little, and u decided to brush them off… - … A MISTAKE - suddenly he looked RLLLLLLY MCHECKIN’ CUTE - oh dear oh no - ur cheeks flushed and u didn’t know what to do - asdfghjkl u SORTA RLLY WANTED TO KISS HIM - u don’t know what washed over u, but in a sec, u were peppering kisses on this sleeping boy’s face - his eyes flickered open and as he felt your lips brush against the skin on his face,,, - his cheeks became tinted with strawberry red - his ears??? PINK AS THE DAY - HE COULDN’T EVEN SPEAK PROPERLY - “t-thank you for kissing me!!!!” was all he could say before melting in his seat.

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marsupials-of-mars · 6 years

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Dreams

(Because tumblr decided to lose Dreams an Nightmares for no reason I have to reupload)

“Yknow, life’s pretty awesome. Who knows what could happen? We could go to a party, watch a movie, hang out with your friends, eat out... what if something big happens tomorrow? You rescue a puppy off the side of the road, and it turns out that it has puppies, and now you’re a dog grandpa. Or they discover an ancient castle in... some place that has castles....” Roman rambled off predictions. It was he and Thomas’s nightly routine, at least on good nights, on bad nights Virgil might take the shift. But Roman cherished his turn each time, predicting the events of the next day, week, year. It helped Thomas get to sleep, like a bedtime story.

“Thanks Ro.” Thomas yawned and rolled over. In a few moments his breathing deepened. Roman smiled and sunk into Thomas’ mind, energized by a job well done.

He looked around the hall. He didn’t feel tired. Usually if the sides didn’t feel tired at night it meant that they had a shift with... the prince gasped and looked down the hall. Sure enough there was a black and pink door sparkling at the end of the hall. Unlike the side’s rooms, this one only showed up to a side when it was their turn, or if they’d been given specific permission. Roman squealed. He hadn’t been there in weeks. He trotted down the hall eagerly and knocked on the door.

“Ugh, What? I’m working.” An annoyed voice spoke muffled through the door.

Roman smirked and leaned on the door.

“Fine then, I’ll just party all night all by myself.” There was silence a moment. The door flew open and Roman fell into the room. The door-opener sidestepped just in time.

“Watch it, you almost made me spill!” Roman looked up at a leather sleeved hand held out. He grabbed it and was pulled up quickly, almost wrenching his shoulder.

“Okay, ow...” he rubbed his wrist.

“Where have you been you bitch, It’s been so boring around here!” Remy pulled the prince into a hug. “What were you thinking leaving me so long?!”

Roman chuckled and shoved him. “You know if I had a choice I’d be here every night Rem.”

“Okay, OKAY, this is a big night, I’ve got some microwave popcorn in the kitchen, two new nail polishes, and I can queue up some Queer Eye, this is OUR night girl!”

He clipped his sunglasses on his shirt revealing winged eyeliner that none of the other sides could pull off if they tried. “Cmon lets fucking party!”

Roman grabbed his friends shoulders. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Um...drinks?”

“The reason I’m here?”

“To.....party...?”

Roman rolled his eyes. He loved Remy but he could be an airhead a lot of the time.

“Dream mode? Dreams? We need to make a dream.”

Remy blinked. “Well duh, I knew that, we’ve got all night.”

Roman sighed. “You know if we put it off you’ll end up dragging me into the best night of my life and Thomas will go without any dreams for another month.”

“Uuuuuugh!” Remy groaned dramatically. “Who shoved that stick up your ass?” He raised a brow and smirked. “Our Friend Lo~”

“Shut up!” Roman shoved him into the couch. He giggled evilly. “Cmon girl, liven up, live a little!”

Roman rubbed his eyes. It’s times like these he hated, acting like the adult. Who else would be lively enough to tell him, Prince Roman, to liven up? “Fine, why not?” He threw his coat and sash off. “Let’s have some fun first.”

Four episodes of Queer Eye and six collective wines later, Roman stood up. He swayed on his feet a bit. “Dreams! Dream time!”

“Aw, Cmon, my third coat’s nearly dry, give it a minute!” Remy blew on his dark pink nails. Roman touched his cherry red gloss to make sure it was dried.

“Okay, a minute.” He slumped on the couch and watched Remy.

“So what’s been up with you Remington? Whats the deal with the old REM cycle? What’s he been up to?” He turned himself so his knees hung on the back of the couch.

“Not much. Works been kicking my ass. Thomas has been trying to ‘reestablish a healthy sleep schedule” or some shit. It’s haaaard.”

“Does that have to do with the lack of dreams?”

“Yeah, he’s been pretty drained, deep sleep mode. Dreamless, Dark, boring.”

“Sounds gross.”

“Understatement much? It’s literally hell.”

Roman laid back and sighed.

“They dry?”

Remy touched his nails. “Looks like it.” He shoved up from the floor. “Yknow what? Let’s make this dream one to remember, go batshit crazy, more than usual, who’s gonna stop us huh?”

”I’m supposed to be the one coming up with the great ideas!” Roman stumbled to his feet.

“Tough bitch, Cmon!” Remy grabbed his wrist and dragged him into a black room. The door closed behind them, disappearing and leaving them in a blank space. No floor or walls, nothing but them. He waved his hand and a file drawer extended from the nothing. Roman peered over his shoulder.

“So what do we have to work with tonight?”

Remy pulled out a stack of folders. “Here’s all we have from this month.” He pulled out the first. “Ah! His aunt got a new puppy-“

“Oh my god YES! Have you SEEN her her name’s Lucy! She’s the sweetest thing!” Roman gushed.

“So... I’m guessing we’re using this one?”

“Uhdoy!” Roman grabbed the folder. He reached in and pulled out a coffee colored yorkiepoo. “And what if she was... horse sized?” He resized the puppy and squealed. “Cute! And now she’s blue!” He patted her belly and her fur faded to blue.

“Oooh fun, I love it, another!” Remy pulled out the next folder and checked the title. “His friend just introduced him to a guy from her yoga class who he thought was kind of cute but would never care or find any reason to act on.”

“He shall ride the dog! And he’ll be wearing a tux!” Romans pulled the man from the folder and customized his clothes. The man jumped onto horse Lucy, who roared like a lion in response.

“Love it, love it!” Remy pulled the next folder out. “Some random lady working the front desk at his doctors! Her face could be used for anything.”

“Hmmm... save that.”

Remy put the folder back. “What about that cookout he went to where he was eaten alive by bugs?”

“Perfect! Our antagonist! Roman plucked a handful of gnats from the folder and blew them up to the size of softballs, sending them to battle yoga boy and horse Lucy.

“Getting there! What else?”

“He had dinner with his mom recently...”

“Aha!” Roman pulled Thomas’ mother from the folder. He took the secretary and assigned her the role of mother. “His Mom is now the secretary!”

“Okay, Okay! Now? This next one is the entire layout of that cabin he vacationed to in sophomore year!”

“Perfect! I’ll meld it with his own house! We have our setting! Now for the plot!”

“Um... we have either ‘the video is going to be up late’ or ‘the fish I was served at a restaurant recently still had the head.’”

“The second one is juicer! The fish is still alive somehow and he feels the need to take it to the ocean!”

“Why would he-“

“Logan isn’t here! Now, I need one more person!”

“I have...” Remy spread the remaining folders out on the floor. “‘Red haired man he saw on the sidewalk on the drive to Joan’s house’, ‘Amethyst from Steven Universe’, and ‘Junior year Algebra 2 teacher’.”

Roman pulled out Amethyst. “Perfect! Her new name is Carol, and she’s yoga boys big sister! Should we see from her view in first person, or watch her antics in third person?”

“Um...” Remy thought. “Both?”

“GENIUS!” Roman conjured a keypad and typed up a quick script. “Aaaaand done!”

Remy locked in the dream and hit play. He quietly led Roman out and shut the door. “Cmon, we’ll miss it!” He pulled the prince back to the couch and shoved him into the cushions. He turned on the tv and the dream played out onscreen. Roman beamed at his masterpiece. As Thomas dreamt, Remy conjured face masks and frappuccinos. Roman dozed off. Tipsy Remy tried to find out how many popcorn kernels he could balance on his friend’s face. In a few hours the dream finished. lights dimmed. Remy shook Roman awake. “Rise and shine RoRo, he’s waking up.” The prince blinked awake.

“Oh...”

“Lunch this Friday? We need to keep in touch better.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Now get out of my room.” Remy pointed Roman to the door with a manicured finger.

“Bye bitch.” Roman saluted him with two fingers before stepping through the door. It disappeared behind him. He yawned and went to check on the waking Thomas. He rose next to him, sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal.

“Oh, hey Roman! I just had the weirdest dream...”

#roman sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #remy sanders #sleep sanders

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austonm--atthews · 6 years

Text

my only one//auston matthews

masterlist

based off of my only one by all time low

chapter 20 june 26, 2016 aus’ pov “good morning beautiful.” i wrap my arms around jack, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. “good morning aus.” jack smiles, tilting her head to look at me. “you excited to go home today, sweetheart?” i ask her. “yeah, i had so much fun with you though. are you excited to go home?” she flips over on her side to face me. “yeah, i miss home, but i had a great time with you.” i smile, looking into her beautiful hazel eyes. “me too, baby.” she smiles back. “we should get ready.” i tell her. “yeah, you’re right.” she agrees and gets up. we get changed and grab our stuff. we go to my parents hotel room and leave for the airport. i go with my dad to check in. i look around the airport, my eyes landing on my mom talking to jack. i walk away from my dad and sit next to jack and my mom. “i had a lot of fun, but i’m ready to go home. i can’t thank you guys enough for inviting me.” jack smiles at my mom. “we couldn’t just not invite you! it was my idea, actually. he was complaining about how much he’d miss you. i guess he didn’t realize he could just ask you to go, so i suggested asking you to go with us. he’s dumb like that sometimes.” she laughs. “hey!” i pretend to be offended. “i mean, she’s not wrong.” jack teases me. “hey! that’s not nice!” i try to act offended, but end up laughing. “and neither am i.” jack smiles spitefully. “you’re lucky i love you.” i wrap my arm around her shoulders. “aw, you guys are so cute! stay just like that, i need a picture of you two!” my mom gushes. “but moooom.” i whine.

“smile!” she says, snapping the picture. “i hope i look okay.” jack laughs as she looks at the picture. “stop it, you always look great.” i compliment her. “aw, we look so cute together.” jack gushes as she looks at the picture. “you’re right about that, baby.” i smile as i look at the picture. “i’m so glad he wised up and chose a girl like you. that might be the only smart thing he’s done.” my mom says to jack with a laugh. “i mean i can’t say you’re wrong.” jack laughs. “it’s definitely the smartest thing i’ve ever done.” i smile, looking down at jack. “i would agree.” jack smiles back. just then both of our phones go off. “oh, i sent you guys the picture.” my mom tells us. “aw, thanks.” jack smiles. just as my mom’s about to respond they call our flight over the loud speaker. jack and i still had our tradition of touching the plane as we got on for good luck. we got on the plane and got to our seats. “i think i’m gonna take a nap once we get up in the air.” i say as i take jack’s hand in mine. “yeah, me too. i’m actually tired for once.” she laughs. she had the cutest, most adorable laugh. “wow, you’re tired? that’s new.” i tease her. “yeah, at least we can just nap on the plane.” she agrees, looking at the window to watch the plane take off. “yeah, you’re right.” i agree, resting my head on her shoulder. “aw, hi.” she smiles, ruffling my hair a bit. “you’re so cute when you do that.” i smile. “aw, really?” she smiles. “yeah, it’s adorable.” i compliment her. “i might have to do it more often then.” “i would never tell you not to.” i press a sweet kiss to her cheek. “aw, you’re too cute.” she leans her head against mine. “thanks baby.” i wrap my arms around her tightly as we watch the plane get ready and take off. “you ready for that nap?” she asks when we get in the air. “yeah, i’m so tired.” “you don’t mind if i lean on you, right?” she asks me. my heart melts at how cute she is. “of course not, my love.” i smile. “good, i just wanted to make sure it was okay.” she says as she leans her head on my shoulder. “of course it’s fine. it’s you.” i pull her closer and press a cute kiss to her forehead. “goodnight, i guess.” she laughs lightly. “goodnight.” i close my eyes and fall asleep.

i wake up to the sound of the captain telling us we’re landing. i look over to see jack is still asleep. “baby, wake up. we’re here.” i whisper quietly as i gently shake her awake. “thanks for waking me up.” “no problem sweetheart.” i wrap my arm around her, pulling her close. “so, what do you wanna do when we get home?” she asks. “i don’t know honestly. i guess we’ll figure it out.” i shrug. we get our belongings and get off the plane. we finally reach home. since jack and i are leaving for training camp soon, we decided to hang out with both of our families until they decided to go home. “so, what do you wanna do now, austy?” i look to my left to see jack looking up at me, the cutest smile on her face. “the guys did text me saying they need one more player for their game in a half hour. do you wanna go with me?” i ask her. “of course i do! i love watching you play.” she smiles. “aw, that means a lot to me. really, it does.” i press a cute kiss to her forehead. “aw, i’m glad it does.” she smiles. “we should head up to my room so you can change if you need to and i can get my stuff.” i suggest. she nods in response. i take jack’s hand and we go up to my room. “yknow, the only reason why i started playing hockey was because i wanted to spend more time with you.” she tells me as she goes in my closet to find a jacket. “really?” i asks, shocked. “yeah, i had the biggest crush on you and i wanted to be near you all the time. then you taught me how to skate and i asked my parents if i could join the same team you were gonna be on.” she continues as she puts on one of my zip-up jackets. “i had a huge crush on you too. i was so nervous when i was teaching you how to skate. i was always so nervous around you. i still am.” i admit, pulling her into a hug. “if it makes you feel any better, you still make me nervous too.” she laughs. “at least we both make each other nervous.” i laugh lightly. “you’re right, desert boy.” she teases me, making me laugh. “anyways, we should get going.” i suggest. “yeah, you’re right.” she nods, unwrapping her arms from me. i grab my hockey bag and she holds the door for me. we walk out to my car and we leave for the rink. as soon as we get there i sling my bag over my shoulder, then taking her hand in mine. “i’ll see you after the game, my love. i love you.” i lean down to peck her lips. “i love you too, cutie. good luck!” she calls out to me as she walks away from the locker room. the guys come out onto the ice and i immediately find jack. i smile at her like i always did before games. i skate around, shooting pucks into the net and talking to the guys. the first period goes by without any scoring. as the guys get off the ice, i notice jack and send her a wink. she winks back, making my heart skip a beat. soon enough, the second period starts. a couple minutes in i found the back of the net. i always found jack in the crowd and winked at her. the game goes on and the score ends up being 2-0. jack’s pov “hey baby.” he emerges from the locker room, his hair a mess but a smile playing on his lips. “aus! baby! that goal was amazing! i’m so proud of you!” i pull him in for a tight hug, not caring that he’s a bit sweaty. “are you sure you wanna hug me? i’m kinda sweaty.” he laughs. “i don’t care. i can just put this in the wash.” i shrug as i pull away from him. “yeah, you’re right. you ready to go, my love?” he asks me. “sure.” he takes my hand and we walk out of the rink and to his car. the drive home is quiet, but comfortable. he laid out his arm on the arm rest, meaning he wanted me to rub his forearm. i rubbed his forearm, something i usually did while he drove. he pulled into the driveway and parked the car, both of us getting out. we walk into his house and go up to his room. “i’ll be right back, baby. i’m just gonna take a quick shower.” he pecks my cheek, then leaving the room to shower. i look around his room to keep myself occupied. there’s pictures of us recently and us as kids in frames around his room, along with family pictures, which also included me since i was considered family. i walk over to his bed, feeling my foot hit something under it. i look under the bed to see what appears to be a photo album. i pull it out from under the bed and put it on the bed. the cover reads “auston + jack”. my heart stops. he made a photo album for us? this is possibly the cutest thing he’s done, so far. i flip the cover over, but then he comes in. “did you miss me?” he smiles at me, then going into his drawer to grab a shirt and pants. “eh, not really.” i tease him. “you’re so mean to me.” he sighs, pulling a shirt over his head and pulling pj pants over his legs. “that’s my job.” i smile spitefully at him, earning a sigh from auston. “so, what do you wanna do now?” he asks as he sits down next to me, wrapping his arms around me and putting his head on my shoulder. “i found this under your bed so we could look at it.” i point to the photo album. “i meant to give that to you for your birthday! i must’ve forgot.” he laughs. “that’s okay! at least i found it.” i roll my eyes at him. “hey! don’t be mean!” he pretends to get offended. “i mean you did forget.” i joke. “true.” he agrees. “anyways, let’s see how ugly you look and how cute i look.” i say sarcastically as i open the photo album. “wow, i felt that.” he fakes hurt. “you know that i don’t think you’re ugly right?” i check with him. “yes, baby, i know you’re just kidding.” he smiles. “okay good.” i smile, then looking at the photo album, “you still look the same.” i poke fun at his appearance. “you’re the one who thinks i’m cute, so who’s the real loser here?” he jokes back. “i mean, i do tend to like ugly boys so...” i trail off. “you mean, you had a tendency to like ugly boys until you fell for me and my charming good looks!” “oh yes, it was love at first oink.” i poke fun at his pig nose. “my pig nose is cute and you know it!” he defends his pig nose. “i hate that you’re right.” i pout. “sorry i’m just cute.” he shrugs, causing me to sigh and roll my eyes. “anyways, we should look through this.” i point at the photo album. “yeah, you’re right.” he agrees. i flip it open. we look trough all the pictures of us. they’re adorable to say the least. “you still have the same adorable face.” i look at him, smiling. “you do too, baby.” he kisses my cheek. “what should we do now?” i ask. aus’ pov “yknow, we still haven’t played nhl16 together.” i look at her with a smile. “oh, you’re right.” “do you want to?” i ask her. “sure! i don’t see why not.” she smiles. “i’m so excited to play it, especially since it’s with you.” i smile at her. “aw, me too, aus.” she smiles. i set up the game and hand her a controller, laying next to her up against the headboard. “you ready to get your ass kicked?” i tease her with a laugh. “no, but i hope you are.” she jokes back. “ugh, shut up.” i roll my eyes at her. “like you’d want me to.” she teases me, nudging me with her elbow. “stop being right all the time.” i sigh, laughing lightly. “sorry, i can’t help it.” she shrugs. “why don’t you come over here and lay with me, baby?” i smile as i look over at her. “you want me to lay with you?” she asks me. “yeah, you can lay your head on my stomach while we play the game.” i suggest. “aw, that’s so cute. of course i will.” she smiles, moving to lay her head on my stomach. “aw, you look so cute like that.” i gush, causing jack to look up at me. “aw, really?” she smiles. “yes, of course you do.” i smile at her. “aww, thanks cutie.” she smiles, wrapping her arms around my torso. “aw, you’re too cute.” i smile, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. “i love you.” she tightens her arms around me. “i love you too.” i pull her closer. “we should probably start the game.” she looks up at me, laughing lightly. “yeah, you’re right. you’re so beautiful i forgot about everything else.” i look at her with a smile. “ugh, shut up.” she giggles. “it’s the truth, baby. i still get caught up in your beauty after all these years.” i smile at her. “aw, stop it.” she waves it off as her cheeks get red. “aw, is someone blushing?” i tease her. “no i’m not!” she defends. “yeah you are! you’re so red!” i tease her again. “ugh, fine. i’m blushing, but only because of you.” “wow, i still make you blush?” i pretend to be shocked. “yeah! all the time!” “aw, that’s so cute. you still make me blush.” i laugh softly. “believe me, i’ve noticed.” she teases me as she looks up at me. “ouch, i felt that,” i joke, “we should really start the game. we keep getting off track.” i laugh. “yeah, you’re right.” she laughs with me. “i hope you’re ready to get your ass kicked.” i tease her. “the only one getting their ass kicked is gonna be you.” she teases back. i finally start the game. it’s back and forth the whole game, but jack ends up winning. i look down at her to see she’s crying. “baby, what’s wrong? why are you crying?” i ask her, scooping her up in my arms. “i’m so proud of you. i’m so so proud of you. i love you so much. it’s overwhelming how proud of you i am and how much i love you. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted and more. i love you more than anything in the world. i would do anything just to make you happy. i would hate to see you as anything but happy.” she looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “the fact that you’re proud of me means the world to me. i’m always trying to impress you, even though you’re already mine. i’m always overwhelmed by how in love with you i am. i couldn’t ask for a better girl to spend the rest of my life with. i promise you there’s nothing you could do that would make me fall out of love with you. i’ll always be so in love with you, baby. i’ve always been in love with you. ever since i first saw you, when you moved in next door, i’ve been in love with you. all i could think about was you, you’re still all i think about. i’m always thinking about your beautiful face, your gorgeous smile, your amazing eyes, i could go on for hours. i love you, jack, so so so much.” i say just above a whisper, taking her face in my hands. i lean in slowly as she does the same. “i love you too, aus, so so so much.” she smiles as she looks into my eyes, tears still in them. “aw, cmere baby.” i open my arms for her. she immediately buries her head in my chest, wrapping her arms around me. “i’m so glad i met you. i was so mad when my parents decided to move me from new jersey to arizona. i loved it there and i didn’t want to leave. then i moved here and met a cute boy who ended up becoming my best friend. now i’m so glad they moved me because i met you. i don’t know where i would be without you.” she mutters against my chest, then making eye contact with me. “i’m so glad they moved you here. i would be lost without you. at first when my parents told me someone moved in next door, i didn’t care, but then i saw you outside. i knew i had to talk to you. something about you made me want to get to know you. i’m so glad i went up to you and got to know you better. that was the best decision i ever made.” i look into her eyes, smiling. “awwww, that’s so cute.” she smiles, hugging me tighter. “i try baby, i try.” i hug her back. “i just had a great idea! we should get sushi!” she looks up at me with a beaming smile. “that’s a great idea!” i smile. “then let’s go babey!” she smiles and gets up. “hell yeah babey!” i get up and take her hand. we go out to my car and she takes the aux cord. she was careful not to blast it until we got out of the neighborhood since it was 12am. once we left the neighborhood, she turned it way up, both of us screaming along to the story so far. before jack i only listened to rap, but she introduced me to all of her music and i grew to love it. i looked to my right to see jack bobbing her head up and down and moving her arms too. she looked so adorable it made my heart melt. we finally get to the store and get out of the car. i take her hand in mine as we walk into the store. “hey babe, i’m hungry. can you stop looking like a snack?” i say with a wink. “sorry, aus, i can’t help that.” she smiles spitefully. i roll my eyes in response. “so, what are you going to get, babe?” i ask, looking down at her as we approach the sushi. “hmmm, maybe a california roll?” jack says, unsure of what she was going to get. “shut up, i was gonna get the same thing.” i laugh. “ugh, you just love to copy me, don’t you?” she laughs, sighing. “why wouldn’t i want to copy the girl i love the most?” i smile, looking down at her. “ugh, shut up.” she waves off my compliment. “ha! you’re blushing again!” i tease her. “well, yeah! i still blush! so do you!” she defends. “you got me there.” i sigh in defeat. “i think i’m gonna get this.” she grabs the package of california rolls. “why don’t you get the bigger one and we can share it?” i suggest. “oh, you’re right! i wasn’t thinking.” she giggles, grabbing the bigger pack. “i guess i’m the brains of this relationship.” i tease her as we go to check out. “i guess so,” she smiles up at me, making my heart speed up, “ha! you’re blushing!” she teases me. “well yeah! you smiled at me!” i defend with a laugh. “i still have an affect on you? that’s so cute.” she smiles. “of course you do. you always will.” i smile at her, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before backing out of the parking spot. “aww.” she sighs happily. we finally get to my house, heading up to my room to hang out. jack goes into my closet and steals one of my flannels. “you look so cute when you wear my clothes.” i wrap my arms around her from behind, resting my head on her shoulder. “aw, you’re too sweet.” she smiles at me. “only to you, my love.” i smile. “aw, stop it.” she smiles. “i can’t, baby. i love you too much.” i smile at her. “aw! you’re too cute!” “so are you, my love.” i flirt. “you’re way cuter than me though.” she insists. “no, you’re cuter than me, sunshine.” i insist. “ugh fine, i’m cuter than you.” she rolls her eyes. “finally!” i laugh lightly. “we should probably eat, aus, i’m starving.” she points out. “yeah, you’re right. i know this is cliche and you hate cliche things, but maybe we should feed each other?” i ask jack, hopeful she’ll say yes. “i mean, i do hate cliche things, but i’ll do it for you.” she smiles. “wow, you really love me, huh?” i laugh. “of course i do. but, who’s going first?”jack asks. “you want me to go first?” i ask her. “sure.” she smiles. i grab a california roll and feed it to her. she has trouble eating it, causing both of us to laugh. “aw, that was so cute.” i gush over her. “it wasn’t as cliche as i thought it would be. you were cute trying to feed it to me.” she smiles. “aw, i’m glad, but now it’s your turn.” i smile. “yay!” she exclaims. she tries to feed the sushi to me, which is the cutest thing ever. my heart melts at her cute facial expressions and giggles as she tries to feed me it. we continue to go back and forth, taking turns until all of the sushi is gone. “as cliche as that was, that was so much fun.” she admits. “awww, jack enjoys cliche things.” i tease her. “shut up.” she rolls her eyes and laughs. “so, what should we do now, princess?” i ask her. “we could just cuddle?” she suggests. “you know i could never refuse cuddling with you.” i smile at her as we lay down and i pull her into my arms and she puts her head on my chest. we lay in silence for a minute, her hand on my chest and my hand rubbing her back gently. “aus?” she asks, looking up at me. “yeah, jack?” i respond. “listen, i don’t want you to change because you got drafted first and now you’re getting all of this attention. please don’t let all the attention and fame get to your head. i don’t want to lose the auston that i know and love. i don’t want you to forget about me, and i don’t want to lose you.” she looks into my eyes with tears in hers a serious look on her face. “awh, don’t cry. i promise you i won’t let it get to my head. i promise you i’ll never change. i’ll never forget about you, my love. you’re my baby, i could never forget about you. i promise you i would never leave you behind. i’ll always take you wherever i go. you’re the love of my life, and i would never even think of hurting you in any way. i would never cheat on you or leave you or do anything to break your heart.” i say in a comforting tone. “you promise?” she holds up her pinky. “i promise.” i link my pinky with hers. “it’s silly, but it made me nervous.” she laughs it off. “it’s not silly, honey. i get it, but you have nothing to worry about. i won’t forget about you or leave you or cheat on you or anything like that. i could never hurt my baby.” i hold her tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “that means so much to me, you have no idea.” she smiles against my chest, holding me closer. “aw, i’m glad it does. you mean a lot to me, love. you really do. you’re my girl, and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t need you. i need you because you keep me sane, you make me forget all of my worries, you make me laugh until i cry, and you make me the happiest guy alive. i really love you with all of my heart, my love.” i bring her hand up to my lips, pressing a kiss to it. “aw, aus, that’s so sweet. i need you too. i love you with all of my heart.” she holds me tighter. “awww, you’re too sweet.” i smile. “i try.” she shrugs with a smile. “i just had a great idea! we should play just dance!” i laugh. “yes! i love playing that with you!” she says excitedly. “me too, baby.” i say as we get up and set up the game. we pick a song and the dancing starts. somehow i fall over, taking jack down with me. i land on her with my chest to hers. “wow, you’re even more beautiful up close.” i flirt with her, a smile tugging at my lips. “ugh, you’re so annoying.” she rolls her eyes jokingly, sighing. “you know you love me.” i wink. “ugh, shut u-“ i interrupt her, pecking her lips. i pull away. “sorry, i couldn’t resist kissing you any longer.” i wink again. “ugh, get off me before my lungs collapse.” she rolls her eyes. i push myself up and get off of her. i hold my hand out to help her up. she takes it and gets up. she immediately wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “i love you i love you i love you.” she repeats as she hugs me tight. “aw, i love you too i love you too i love you too.” i repeat as i pull her in for a kiss and wrap my arms around her. “aww, that was so cute.” she hugs me even tighter somehow. “aw, thanks baby.” i hug her tight. “we should probably get back to the game.” she points to the tv. “yeah, you’re right.” i smile. we dance for a couple more songs, laughing and fooling around with each other. we sit down on the bed and try to catch our breaths. “do you wanna cuddle again?” she asks. “i could never say no to cuddles with you.” i kiss her cheek. “me neither.” she smiles as we lay down. i pull her close to my chest and she wraps her arms around me. “do you wanna watch a movie?” i ask jack. “yeah sure.” she nods. i put on a movie and lay back down with her. next thing i know jack grabs a pillow and hits me with it. “ow! what was that for?” i turn to look at her. she grins mischievously as she looks at me. “pillow fight!” she yells. i grab a pillow and wack her with it. she hits me back and i hit her again. it keeps going back and forth, both of us laughing and giggling. she ends the fight with a kiss to my nose. “how are you so cute after beating me up with a pillow?” i look into her eyes. “i could ask you the same thing.” she smiles. “do you wanna watch a different movie? this one is pretty boring.” i ask jack. “yeah, it’s boring. you can find something else if you’d like.” she says. “you wanna watch a comedy?” i ask her. “aw, i’d love that.” she leans forward, planting a kiss on my nose. i get up and put on a comedy, then crawling back into bed to cuddle with jack. “yknow, your bun is in my face.” i tease her. “yknow, your bun is in my face.” she imitates me. “ugh, you’re so annoying.” i jokingly roll my eyes at her. “you’re so mean to me.” she sighs. “no, you’re mean to me.” i argue jokingly, rolling over and pinning her down. “no, you’re mean to me.” she rolls over and pins me down. “no you’re mean to me.” i roll over and pin her down. “you’re just mad because i can out skate you!” she rolls over and pins me down. “aw, that’s cute babe.” i smile up at her. “it’s cute you think that’s cute.” she smiles back. “of course it’s cute, it’s you.” a smile spreads across my face. “i love you.” jack presses her forehead against mine. “i love you too.” i smile into the kiss. jack lays on top of me, her head on my chest and her arms around me. “babe, would you wanna go on a walk to get coffee?” i ask her. “of course i would!” she smiles wide. “then let’s go!” i smile. we get up and walk downstairs, going to the front door and walking out. i take her hand in mine as we walk out of my house. jack’s pov auston and i were walking down the street to get coffee when she appeared. she meaning his ex girlfriend. i felt my blood boil at the mere sight of her. auston looked at me, knowing i hated her more than he did. i was hoping she would continue walking, but no. she had to stop and talk to us. “auston! congratulations on making it to the nhl!” she smiles at him. “thanks.” he smiles awkwardly in return. “how’ve you been?” she asks. better now that you’re gone, i think to myself. “pretty busy, but good. you?” he asks, as if he actually cares. i knew him well enough to know he didn’t give one shit about her. after all, she broke up with him. “i’ve been good.” she says. “good.” he responds. “we should do something tonight, if you’re free. my dad owns the best restaurant and bar. he’d be able to get us free drinks” she winks at him. “i don’t drink.” he says awkwardly. “oh, sorry. i didn’t know.” she says. “it’s okay.” he sounds extremely uncomfortable. ”have you been working out? you look more buff than you did the last time i saw you.” she flirts with him. it was taking everything in me to not knock her out. “um, uh, y-yeah i’ve been working out.” he stutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “aus, honey, we should probably get going.” i butt in the conversation. “matty, who is she?” she says in a snarky tone. “this is jacquelyn, my fiancée.” he wraps his arms around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. i stare her down. “oh, so this is the lucky girl who gets to marry my matty.” she smiles mischievously as she looks at me. “yes. it was nice seeing you, janet, but jack and i should probably get going now.” auston says awkwardly. “bye! i’ll see you around!” she smiles at him. “bye.” auston replies in a dull tone, taking my hand and walking away. “i’m really sorry about her. i had no idea she’d be so flirty. are you okay, baby?” he asks me.

aus’ pov

“i’m okay. she just pissed me the fuck off. i don’t know how i didn’t fight her. she’s such a bitch. how you went out with a bitch like her is beyond me. if i see her again i swear to god i’ll fight her. she had the audacity to say my matty. fuck off, he’s not yours and he never was. she has no right to flirt with you.” i look over at jack to see her jaw clenched, something she only did when she was angry.

“someone’s jealous.” i tease her. “of course i’m jealous! did you hear how she was talking to you? did you see how she was looking at you? she basically eye fucked you! she was undressing you with her eyes! the whole time she was looking at you like a piece of meat!” i start to laugh at her ranting. “why are you laughing? that is not funny at all? she’s lucky she’s still alive, fucking janet. who names their daughter janet? why would you willingly date a girl named janet? ugh!” she rants. “wow, you really love me that much?” i ask her. “well, of course i do! you’re MY matty,” she pauses, “but god, out of all your exes, she was the worst. granted i hated all of them, but i hated her the most. i was so happy when she broke up with you, but it was weird because you weren’t upset.” she looks at me with a confused expression. “yeah, i realized i didn’t like her that much. i was planning on dumping her anyways.” i shrug. “oh you were?” she asks me. “yeah, i was gonna ask you out.” i smile at her. “aw, really?” she smiles. “yeah, i realized i loved you.” i look down at her, smiling. “aw, you did?” she holds onto my arm as we walk down the street. “yeah, i realized i kept ditching her for you. you gave me this feeling i couldn’t shake. i didn’t feel anything when i was with her.” “aww, baby.” she holds my arm tighter. “don’t worry about her. she’s got nothing on you.” i wrap my arm around her shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. “no, aus, i’m not worried. i completely trust you and i know you would never do anything to hurt me. i don’t like it when girls flirt with you. that’s my job, not theirs.” she continues to rant. “damn right it is. you’re my girl.” i pull her close to me, squeezing her. “aw, you’re the cutest.” she squeezes me back. “no, you’re the cutest.” i boop her nose. “shut up, we all know you’re the cutest.” she rolls her eyes. “not true.” i disagree. “ugh, fine. we’re both the cutest, which is why we’re together!” she looks up at me, smiling. “god, i’m literally the world’s luckiest man. i get to live out my dream of playing professional hockey with my dream girl by my side. i don’t know what i did to deserve this, but i can guarantee that heaven can’t be better than this.” i pull her closer to me, smiling down at her. “please cactus i’m going to cry.” she laughs softly. “no you won’t.” i laugh. “do you see these tears?” she looks up at me, pointing at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “awe, look at you. still pretty even when you cry!” i look her in the eyes. “shut up. you’re lucky you’re cute.” she smiles shyly. “oh yeah? what are you going to do about it, short stuff?” i tease her. “guess someone doesn’t want any cuddles or kisses.” she smiles spitefully. “what? that’s not fair!” i get flustered. “yes it is!” she says. “but.” i look at her with a pout. “no.” she looks away from me. “please.” i move so she can see me. “no.” she looks me in the eyes. “but baby.” i look her in the eyes again. “auston, i swear to god.” she tries to be serious, but ends up laughing. “pleeeeease.” i almost beg. “fine, if it’ll get you to stop, i’ll do it.” she gives in with a sigh. “yay! thank you baby!” i give her a kiss on the cheek. “ugh, shut up.” she sighs jokingly as we walk into the coffee shop. we go up to the counter and order our drinks. both jack and i ordered iced coffee since it was hot out. “do you wanna stay here and people watch?” i ask jack. “sure.” she smiles. we find a table next to the window. “babe, look,” i tilt my head towards an old couple, “that’s us.” i look over at her. “well, one of us is getting there.” jack points out the old man, who just so happened to be bald. “hey!” i pretend to be offended. “i’m not wrong and you know it.” she smiles spitefully. “true.” i agree. “hopefully i can put up with you for that long.” she rolls her eyes. “hopefully i can keep you for that long.” i sigh. “not with that hairline you won’t.” she mutters. “hey!” i pretend to be angry. “you had it coming.” she shrugs. “true.” i sigh. “i still love you though so it’s okay.” she leans over and kisses my cheek. “aw, i love you too. do you wanna get going now?” i ask her. “sure.” she smiles and gets up. we walk back to my house and go up to my room. “do you wanna watch the x-files?” jack asks me. “i’d love to, sweetheart.” i wrap my arms around her from behind. “i’ll put it on then.” she smiles. i go over to my bed and sit down as i wait for her to do the same. she sits in my lap, my legs crossed. i pull her in close and attack her with kisses on her shoulder and neck. “auston! stop it!” she says through laughter. “auston! stop it!” she says again as she starts to laugh. “nooo!” i squeeze her tight, pressing one last kiss to her shoulder. “you’re too cute.” she kisses my cheek. “aw, cmere baby.” i open my arms for her. she lays her head on my chest.

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews imagines #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl #fanfic #hockey #hockey fanfic

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rhodesmystery · 6 years

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what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely

HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?

this got long so under the cut

they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school

natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places.

this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley

second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.

third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly

OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.

except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.

sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.

they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.

seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol

same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.

theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that.

i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol

and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.

in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.

early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.

natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.

idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.

in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)

in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed.

they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development.

DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH

also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY

#*replies #*natasha #hphm #charlie weasley #LONG POST #SORRY #Anonymous

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mika-shion · 6 years

Text

My grammar sucks but f*ck you, I'm tired, ignorant, and fed up with life...

Kinda feel like I'm disappointing ppl.... Letting friends n stuff down

Since HS I've been in this mindset + routine(sorta) of talking to my friends online

E V E R Y D A Y

But having actual important shit to do now, along with many more obligations than I had back then, I just can't. Either due to energy, unexpected changes in my schedule, or simply just not enough time in the day/week/ w/e.

Some ppl might say "learn to manage your time then, and go to bed on time", to which I reply - No shit.

Srsly though, that's on the list for shit I need to do, it's just a rough process that I (ironically) can't find the time for.... Though I'm still trying my damnedest.

But then there's the fact that I a) don't have a job (and therefore:) b) am at home a lot (which, to my family means:) c) I'm obligated to do every minute thing I can to help out around the house. Ofc it'd help if everyone else was helping a bit too- y'know, okay;

My family get the same reprimands from my mom for not doing shit around the house (cleaning uo garbage, doing their dishes.... Think that's about it) and still do nothing about it... I mean occasionally my sisters will get off their asses and do smth productive (mostly my little sister cuz my older sister is either working, sleeping, or not home), but not nearly enough to make up for the mess they make.

My "dad" (quotations cuz he's a lazy, inconsiderate, worthless, slobby, waste-of-space cunt) doesn't do anything but rarely wash his own dishes. Thinking cuz he pays barely half the rent (and no other bills that I know of. At least not consistently), that that's more than enough to make up for the LITERAL YEARS OF NEGLECT, THEFT, HARDSHIPS AND NEAR HOMELESSNESS HE'S PUT US THROUGH.

Honest to fucking GOD, there's no conceivable, realistic way I can think of that we could've survived these past several years w/o my mom being as determined as she was and the little bits and pieces of help she's received from some of her family.

(Okay completely different story, getting side-tracked)

My point is - I can't keep up. I mean I'm fumbling through legal, financial, and often my own paranoid bullshit - desperately trying to get my feet off the ground for like... 2 seconds.

AND BECAUSE Of all this bullshit I'm expected to keep up with on a daily basis, I can't work through my own personal demons to get that process started.

i.e. showering consistently (horrifying and gross, believe me - I k n o w), keeping my room clean and organized(so that merely existing in it doesn't cause anxiety and unease), going to bed, waking up and moving around at decent fucking hours(again though, working on it), socializing on a daily basis, finding a job, LEARNING HOW TO FIND A JOB, LEARNING HOW TO BE A GOD DAMNED ADULT

O N M Y O W N.

I mean... You know the list goes on...

I just can't keep up... The world shouldn't be like this... and that fragment of what vaguely resembles child-like wonder and hope is the only fucking thing keeping me afloat these days. It's killing me...

I've said it before, but I used to be so hopeful, happy, cheerful, optimistic, etc.

Now, thanks to negative remarks, hate, hopelessness surrounding me on all sides constantly.

Yknow - L I F E.

I've become a cynical, hateful, angry little bitch who can't even raise her upper lip without getting negative or swearing in some way.

On top of that - I wasn't taught what I needed, or likely wasn't taught right, in order to live on my own and.... Yknow... Thrive?

....I know only like... 3 people max might take the time to read this whole mess (to those 3, tysvm) so I don't expect any of what I said to mean a damn thing to much of anyone.

But if anyone who is in someway affected by my problems + what I'm dealing with/ I wrote here.. To you guys:

· I'm tired

· I'm trying

· I miss you

· I love you and

· I'm sorry...

Anyway... Done screaming into the void. Have a beautiful night everyone!

Pleasant Dreams!~✨💕🌙💫🌸

#mika-talks #emotional rants

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justkpopjokes · 7 years

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Werewolf! Cheol. ANGSTY FLUFF ASDFGHJKL

A/N: Jesus Kylie we’re going to die together prepare the grave aLSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I was really uncontent with the ending, and the angst level isn’t too high but hopefully wolf cub Cheol makes up for it(?)

So I’ve never written a werewolf au

But eh who cares about werewolves

I mean you think it’s just a stupid fairy tale that people rumor are true (I mean people are finding evidence they’re real but that can’t be true can it?)

Like hahaha tf??😂😂😂 Humans that turn into wolves during the full moon? Lmao

Also wolves scare you but anyway

And then there’s Seungcheol who just

Wtf are normal humans???

So basically

Seungcheol grew up as a werewolf

He was bitten as a child poor smol

His parents didn’t know what to do, so they abandoned him

He was roaming the streets alone

But luckily FULL MOON TONIGHT

He goes through this painful fit on the ground, but the pain goes away after a few seconds(?)

He’s just like wait wut why can’t I stand on my legs?

Do I have legs???

What is this thing on my face?? It’s called a muzzle sweetie

“So I’m a wolf now?” yea boiiii

GURAE WOLF NAEGA WOLF AWOOOOO k sorry moving on

And so our smol wolfie was found by other werewolves when he howled

And they took him in even after the full moon was over

So he lives with werewolves now!!!

Which makes him kinda…savage? Basically he isn’t really used to human etiquette

He grew up as a wolf ok, his werewolf parents didn’t teach him much human stuff

They thought it would be best if he didn’t come in contact with humans

And for a while, they were right

He was better off away from people, growing up in the woods

Away from (normal) human communication

And with the exception of his weird wolf family,

Forever alone

…well…maybe not forever

He has the keep reading bar as his friend

He’s been away from the cities all his life

And now he’s in his late teens

And you know what happens in your late teens

You don’t want to face adulthood be alone

Seungcheol is curious to know how regular humans live

And this guy…well you know he doesn’t give up

So one night, once his family is asleep, he sneaks out of his family’s cottage in the woods and goes to the city

Once he gets out of the forest, he notices how the city is so lighted up

Like it’s shouting “Come here, Seungcheol!”

Ofc our guy goes to the city

Just so happens that you’re out too

You’re out because you can’t sleep relatable

And even though you need to get up early tomorrow, at least you have time to study right? Ha yeah right

So you’re on your way to a 24-hour-wherever to get coffee or a drink or a place to read

So you’re walking around the streets when you see this guy wiTH RIPPED CLOTHES AND LOTS OF SCARS?? WHO’S KIND OF BLEEDING???

Obviously you’re scARED TO DEATH LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS HE GOING TO KILL ME but also v concerned bc “you poor thing…what happened to you?”

So you walk over to the tall guy and tap his shoulder when he’s looking at graffiti

And he just jumps back and screams. Roars? No growls. He growls.

Eureureong eureureong ay

Cue you screaming at his scarred face

After you two recover you’re just staring at each other while he’s on the ground sitting like a dog

You think it looks really weird but like what the heck is this grown man doing with his life, he’s muscular af but looks like he just survived a war

“Uh—um…are…are you okay…?”

“Uh…Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

“…s…Seung…Cheol…”

K lemme just mention how Cheol has limited speaking skills, bc his parents only taught him basic words in case of emergency

(I’m guessing they just…growl to communicate? They really don’t like humanity okay like no speaking in this household)

But you take the quiet guy him home to clean his wounds

Whenever you try to disinfect the scrapes on his leg he yelps like crazy so eventually, you get tired and stop

Well…there’s a scarred man on your couch, all you can do is try to feed him

“Listen, I don’t have much food…any allergies?”

He just tilts his head and raises an eyebrow

“Aller…gy?”

“What, have you been living in the woods all your life? Yes I said allergy”

“Yes.”

“Wait what”

He just ignores you and walks to the fridge you’re holding open

“Meat?”

“I only have raw meat, it’ll take a while to cook—”

He just takes out the huge chunk of meat and unwraps the plastic around it

Then just bites this huge chunk off

Your jaw just drops

You try to grab it away saying “You’ll get a disease or som—”

But he just snarls and turns away noisily chewing

So you’re sitting across from the man on your couch still eating a huge chunk of steak

Eventually you drift to sleep

Now Seungcheol isn’t entirely stupid (to human standards)

He knows no one likes sleeping in an uncomfortable place

So of course when he sees you quietly snoozing, something clicks in him

Like an imprint? Except for something else👀

The next morning, you wake up in bed like nothing ever happened

You think it’s a dream, especially because your house seems like the man was never there

So you ignore your weird dream and try to get ready for an early class

You didn’t notice the half-eaten meat in the fridge until later

That’s when you questioned whether you dreamed of the strange man

The bloody cotton balls in the trash bin confirmed your suspicions

That night, you went back outside to walk in the same area

You saw the same man again across the street

This time he sees you and smiles really widely and walks basically runs towards you

And you accept his hug tho you’re kinda…still confused on what the heck is happening

But yknow what? He doesn’t seem dangerous, might as well make him some dinner (because that’s definitely the reasonable decision)

So you bring him home again and make steak and mashed potatoes

And he’s just like?? whAT IS THIS HEAVENLY FOOD YOU MADE

But obviously, he doesn’t really speak soooo he just enthusiastically bounces his head around and does a little dance

We gotta change that tho, so you slowly teach Seungcheol words by holding up items and saying them, and then making him repeat them

And slowly he learned more!

Obviously he’s happy to learn, but he has to be careful not to speak with his…secret family

He definitely needs to keep his secret since the full moon’s coming up soon…

But he decides to still visit you, and even memorizes where your house is

So every night, he comes and knocks on your door

Every night, you cook for him and teach him how to speak and write, and in return, he keeps you company and tucks you in bed

Spending time with him is like having a little puppy istg

Always bouncing around and being so interested with new things

Sometimes you’ll tell him to put something in the microwave and he’ll just stare at you and like furrow his eyebrows

Then you’ll remember he has the communication skills (and knowledge of machines) of a 3-year-old

Don’t even get me started on discovering the tv

He tilted his head to the side when you turned it on, and did that thing where little kids check behind the tv to find the people on screen

You also tried to make him shower but the second the water ran he was just like “nononononono”

He needs to stay messy or else his family will know he’s been going out to see a normal human

But he eventually takes a quick shower because you said you wouldn’t hug him otherwise

You buy him a change of clothes when he visits, but he always leaves them behind when you wake up in the morning like what?

He’s a questionable guy but trust me he’s a good person

Remember when I said he kind of imprinted on you?

It’s like a ‘protect this one at all costs’ imprint

He protec he attac but most importantly he snac on your meat

He feels like he needs to protect you now and keep you safe

He’s just a really close friend who even calms you when college gets stressful

And when I mentioned hugs earlier…they are giant wolf bear hugs

Listen ok he doesn’t really have a sense of love, his family doesn’t really show it directly

But you give him all the love he needs

You even fell asleep in his arms one night

You hardly remember it though, because you were back in your bed the next morning

All you have is the memory that it was nice and warm

But there’s a full moon coming up tomorrow

So before Seungcheol leaves, he tells you he won’t see you the next night

You’re really sleepy, so he brings you to your bed and brushes your hair away from your face before growling softly *cough* lovingly and leaving

The next night, you remember what Seungcheol said about not being there, but he never stays until morning wtf

Does he…have another family?

Wait no that’s impossible if he had a family someone would’ve taught him that the word “confused” means his mood 24/7

So when he doesn’t show up, you go out to look for him

When he isn’t on the streets, you wander and stumble across the entry to the forest, and start to hear noises

Growling…?

“Oh Seungcheol, is that you? It’s me Y/N”

Suddenly the growling gets louder

And a woLF JUMPS OUT FROM A BUSH AND LASHES OUT AT YOU

They tackle you, but suddenly another wolf pushes them off of you as the first wolf scratches you

And like I said before YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF WOLVES

So you’re just frozen in fear and confusion

You could try to escape, but the wounds on your shoulder are bleeding and the pain is stinging really bad

All you can do is watch as 2 wolves battle it out before one wolf chases the other away

The remaining wolf starts charging at to you, but you just scramble to get up and try to grab the nearest stick to protect yourself

You hesitate at running when you see a familiar scar on the wolf’s face

It can’t be him…right?

But it makes so much sense

The growling

The scars

The messiness

The limited knowledge of anything basically

He’s just a wolf?

But then wtf has been happening?!?!

Have you been hallucinating and hugging a wolf?!

Or worse: werewolf

So they do exist.

You throw the stick at the wolf and run all the way home crying of pain

There were way more tears as you tried to disinfect the big scratches on your shoulder

And there was no Seungcheol to comfort you or tuck you in that night

The next day, you can’t go to class with a giant scratch bothering you so you tell a classmate you’re sick and ask for any updates on assignments

You feel sick to your stomach anyways

You know how sick it is to fall in love with a monster?

IM CREEPIN IN YOUR HEART BABE that’s the 3rd exo reference already I’ll stop now

When your doorbell rings that night, you check through the peephole and see the same scarred face you always love to see

But given the circumstances, you just walk away from the door

Before you can leave the room, you hear a soft voice

“Y/N? Does the wound hurt?”

“Go away, you monster”

The sound of “monster” tore Seungcheol’s heart in half

All he did was sit against your front door

For hours

Until he was sure you were asleep

Then he left for home

He didn’t go back the next night or any night after that

His family noticed him not going out at night anymore, and thankfully didn’t disown him or anything

They actually felt really bad because Cheol’s adoptive brother was the wolf who attacked you, and it was their fault he had to visit you in secret

Even though his family didn’t teach him human things, they knew how to speak and just chose not to teach him

So when he heard them speak to him, he was v angry but at the same time happy? Bc he can finally communicate with them better

And they finally started teaching him to speak and write better

Which made him more courageous to do…something

One morning as you stepped out the door, you found a bouquet with a small note

~From Seungcheol

Of course, it’s not just a bouquet, it’s a man holding a bouquet

Yknow what? I don’t think you need to be scared of wolves anymore

“I’m sorry my brother attacked you…”

“Wait that was your brother?!”

“Yes did you not know??”

“No?!? That’s why I was angry oh gosh I’m so sorry”

It gets kind of awkward…

…Until he gives you a big hug

And you teach him what a kiss is (if you know what I mean😉)

I think it’s safe to say things are back to normal

If you consider having dinner with a werewolf every night as normal

Ok I know Vampire!Gyu has a dog already bUT WEREWOLF!CHEOL WITH A PUPPY

Ohmygod they could communicate

I’m actually screaming internally like you’d bring him to the shelter and he’d wait until no one is looking and start growling at all the dogs and then whisper to you “this one was abused by his previous owner” and “this one never knew her parents”

And in the end, it would be really sad because you want to adopt all of them but you can’t

So you both decide on this one fluffy puppy and you and Cheol are soft af at this smol pup

Every time you get home from school there are just 2 puppies to shower you with kisses

WHERE’S THAT 1 GIF OF SEUNGCHEOL AND THAT PUP IT’S WHAT I ENVISIONED

You’ll walk into the living room and they’re both growling and barking at each other

“Y/NNNNNNNN come play with us! Both puppies agree you better get over here”

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen fluff #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #seventeen au #jkj fics #.txt

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 4 | “ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun “ - Adam

I was immune three times so far this season. Three times. and FOR WHAT? I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun, at least for me but hopefully not just for me or uh i might be in trouble... but anywho, another brain went home sorry to this person and right when we all thought a swap of some sort was coming, BOOM a twist of all twists... EVERYONE is going to tribal, that means after this vote, we're gonna be down to 16 people just like that. But before we get there we have to get through immunity and tribal first, i saw that time was one of the tiebreakers and was doing nothing better so i figured lets get this challenge with, its counting how hard can it really be, once again however i completely underestimed my stupid bitchness! i was all the way into the 400s almost through before i MESSED UP .... TWICE ... so in the end i somehow still got 211 which i guess we'll see if that was decent, i dont think ill win but hopefully im just not last. This also means its time to start talking game, i hope no one is scared to talk game because im absolutely not. I'm not here to just sit in the shadows right away, I started messaging just a couple of the people i feel ive built some small connections with and just start to plant seeds about the vote coming up, i dont wanna throw any names out there until at least after we see who wins immunity, but as of now, connor might be a first easy boot?? either that or thats just what people are telling me to blindside me...idk im also still completely shook that the idol is out there, so i really want to vote out whoever has it so i can try to find it again.... but the only problem is i have no idea who has it, it could very well be someone i trust just keeping it to themselves like i wouldve...so we'll see, today is the calm before the storm, and i can tell you the storm is right over the horizon on its way to cause chaos for the beauties because we've been sitting pretty for far too long (pun intened), tomorrow after 9 once we see who wins, thats when i predict at least for me alliance chats and plans will hopefully start coming to fruition and uh hopefully its not me

When you survived that vote out when you thought you were leaving https://media.giphy.com/media/5GoVLqeAOo6PK/200_d.gif When that twist comes out where three people all leave in the same round https://media.giphy.com/media/W7RVlWfc1O9gY/giphy.gif It's moments like this that make me realize that I should have tried to convince Devon to split up Autumn & Duncan last round. Because if Isaac was here, I could have easily gotten Devon and either Duncan/Autumn on board with voting out Isaac. Now we have to go to tribal AGAIN where we have to vote out a daddy :'( I'm still up in the air about what I want to do. Part of me is thinking about doing 2 options. 1 would be to utilize Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan. OR, I can align with Autumn/Duncan and vote out Devon. It's obvious that Autumn and Duncan are a duo, and I'm almost 100% certain that they'll tell Devon to vote me and me to vote Devon. Doing so gives them full power on who to send home, so I think my best bet is to vote with Devon this round. If Devon is as with me as he says he is, then the vote should tie. If Autumn/Duncan decide to vote me out over Devon, then I would hope Devon allows it to go to a tiebreaker. If they vote Devon, then I might just flip my vote and send Devon out of the game. Devon is a "i'm 100% loyal" type of person but at the same time, he also said the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't trust him 100%. I wouldn't be surprised if the three of them just decided to vote me out. If I happen to win immunity, I might actually consider allowing Devon to go to a tiebreaker. I don't have anything to lose by having Devon and either Autumn or Duncan duke it out in a challenge. Devon sucks at challenges so he'd probably go home anyways, but at least the chance at staying is better than nothing. My goal is to win this challenge first and foremost. I hope that if I win that I have some power or influence in how this vote turns out. Given that I have a 25% chance at being voted out, anything can happen.

its literally so sad to see that the daddies have to go to tribal council. i made sure i didn't f*ck up in the immunity challenge and hopefully i have a good shot at winning it. Granted i survive this vote regardless, its going to be amazing to see the other tribes go to tribal council and test their tribe dynamics.This is like the equivalent of giving everyone a survivor wake up call. Just because we've been sucking doesn't mean we get to be spared by a swap. No one deserves anything, you have to earn it. Worst comes to worse I would like to think I have to make fire against scott or devon, which at that point if i lose then i would have done everything i can to stay in this god forsaken game. I'm leaning more towards wanting Scott out but obvi if he wins immunity i have no issue voting for Devon. Can you imagine us not swapping after this and then having to go to tribal again!? Its starting to get quite comical that we've had to play so much already and we're not even close to merge. Wish a bitch luck i guess

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Waiting for these results really has me terrified about how I did. Personally, I like to think I did well in that challenge. Not to toot my own horn or sound cocky, but I spent some time practicing beforehand. I went on a word doc and just kept typing numbers a few times. I also practiced breathing techniques so that I wouldn't let nerves get the best of me when it came to the challenge. AND I also played some mantras in my head to remind me to stay focus and not eat into stress. My mantras include "slow and steady wins the race" and "take a deep breath, go with the flow, just do your best, and show what you know." I also gave myself a time limit as to how long I could spend on each part. I allowed myself 13 minutes to go up, and 17 minutes to go down. I wanted more time going down since by the end my hands would get tired and having little time at the end leads to stress/a potential mess up. So I'm glad I paced myself out with it. I was really scared that my challenge wouldn't count at first because my internet froze up right as I was ending. Luckily, I took the time to take screenshots with time stamps on them just in case something happened. Cause at first I was told "you didn't complete it" and that had me PETRIFIED!! Like I desperately need to win this otherwise I'm gonna get voted out. But luckily my screenshots came through and they accepted my score of 533. If I win this immunity, I have a good chunk of power in deciding who gets voted out. And on top of that, there's no immediate consequences for my decisions. From the looks of it, it seems like Autumn and Devon did really bad in that challenge. I'm hoping that Duncan doesn't do better than me. As for this vote, I think Duncan/Autumn are definitely going to vote together. Which means that I need Devon and I to stick together for this vote. If I win immunity, then I am 100% on board with voting with Devon this round. Autumn/Duncan are too strong of a duo and they need to be split up. Otherwise if we're still together on this tribe, I get the boot soon. I realize after this that I need to work on getting new allies in this game. If I can make it up until a swap, I think I have the potential to go far. I plan to make new allies with whoever is on the swapped tribe, and I'll mention that brains tribe is dead and if they need me to prove my loyalty, I'd be willing to vote out the other two remaining brains. We'll see what happens though. If Duncan does win immunity, then I might feel out to see if Duncan/Autumn are honest about voting out Devon and if I get the vibe that they are, I'll jump on that just to get myself to the swap. Ideally, I want Devon around since I know he'll be loyal to me, but this is a situation that is far out of my control. So, let's hope I win immunity this round!

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Are all the Socotra people going to leave or like…? RIP Isaac truly, what a king! I am completely expecting a swap soon just because it makes tons of sense numbers wise? I hope we don’t because I have footing on this tribe which doesn’t happen usually so ghfjdksla

So after results, I’m mentally preparing myself for a swap because it WOULD happen yknow? Well this new twist? Has me gagged, gooped, shook, quaking, and confused all at the same time so yay for that! But yeah, it seems we’re having a nice little triple tribal feature tonight so get your popcorn folks cause the show is about to start! This twist does have me sorta shook just cause 3 people are leaving this round and we’ll be at F15… so in my head, this only confirms the fact that someone is gonna come back in the game at merge cause why wouldn’t the hosts do that? Well, I’m keeping an eye out for it all (and for Selener ofc)

Did I want to win this immunity challenge? Yes! Did that happen? No! Is that a bad thing? Honestly, not really! Like I am not the type of player that likes to be on people’s radars whatsoever so not being a winner of this game’s first individual immunity challenge is not something I can particularly mad about! Amir winning is cute like I love that for him <3 Adam did have me spooked that he was winning because he kept mentioning slightly high numbers BUT him and I did about the same so yay for us! While this vote is gonna be messy most likely, I do feel pretty secure and safe? I hate that I feel that way because I stay being caught off-guard when I feel that way but I’ve really focused on getting to know everyone here and letting the strategy come later so yeah (‘:

okay so today was about tying up lose ends. I had to clean up anything that could be used against me, and the main issue in my game right now is that i have built a great relationship with adam and i want him to stay, but my alliance does not want him to stay. My options are to save him with my idol, or convince my alliance to keep him, however, both could completely destroy my game. all 3 of them want adam gone, and its not worth it for me to go against all their wishes and it could make them doubt my loyalty, instead im going with the plan to vote adam out (i am so sorry u dont deserve it). However, i told augusto that adam told me about numbers at the bottom of the cast reveal. I realized that now there is leverage against me, that he or adam could use, so i have told the rest of the alliance about the numbers that adam found, hopefully to show them that im insanely loyal nejkwnfke even tho im not. But now, if i go againt adam, he has no dirt on me at all, and i can go through with the alliance's plan. Furthermore, I have a relationship with both austin and aj, so if adam goes, thats fine, ill just get closer to austin. Replace the relationship. Austin is also way less likely to lie or be a rat than adam would. if i could be swapped onto a tribe with duncan and autumn from the brains, i might just have to scoop them up! but i know autumn and ali are close

Me when I found out I won individual immunity at today's tribal and had the overall highest score out of every person in the game: https://media.giphy.com/media/1kIvUyWrdz88GKgtON/200_d.gif I was NOT expecting to do as well as I thought I did in that challenge. I expected to have won within my tribe, but not beat every single person in the game. i hope this challenge doesn't put a huge target on my back. I'm so happy that I won! Based on the mood of the camp right now, it seems like I needed to win. The only person who spoke to me prior to the challenge was Devon. Duncan's talking to me now, but I feel like it's only because I won immunity. I strongly believe that I needed this immunity otherwise I would have been voted out 3-1. Or at least a 2-2 tie if Devon is actually with me. But knowing that I play a major role in this outcome is a beautiful thing. If there was any tribal that I needed to be immune for, it would be this one. As for what I am thinking for tonight's tribal, I think that Autumn/Duncan are going to vote together this round. So this means that I could either vote with them to eliminate Devon OR I vote with Devon to cause a tie and have a tiebreaker challenge take place. Do I think Devon has a shot at winning this challenge? Honestly no... But I think voting with him has some added benefits. The first one is that it shows to everyone in the game that I'm about loyalty this time around. Secondly if he loses, it allows for me to make connections at a future swap. I can state that Autumn/Duncan are an obvious duo and that I have no allies. Showing off that look could help me gain new allies within the other tribes. Plus if Devon does win the challenge, then that's an ally I have going forward and I can state that vote as a move I made in this game at final tribal. Granted I've made moves so far in every vote during this game, but this is one that I can really emphasize towards me winning. But another reason I'm leaning towards keeping Devon is in the event that a swap doesn't happen and we lose again! By showing Devon that he almost left last round, I think he would 100% remain loyal to me for the rest of this game. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not open to hearing out other options. Devon does suck at challenges, so voting him out could be a good thing going forward. Plus I know for a fact that he's shady since he preached the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't appreciate how he isn't being 100% truthful. Personally, I just don't trust any of the brains and need to jump on another tribe's bandwagon. I hope if I can make it to the swap that I can try to gain some new allies around here. Because I need people to make sure I get to the end. For now, I'm just going to hear everyone out and weigh out all of my options moving forward. I need to do what's best for Scottica going forward.

Whhhhaaattttt? Me uploading a confessional before 4 minutes before the next day??????? What a twist!!!!!!

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Anyways, the vote has come down to Devon leaving this round. Which doesn't surprise me, I expect Duncan/Autumn to not want to vote each-other out. Knowing that these two are unbreakable makes me want to work with Devon. But then Duncan also made the point that Devon comes off as the least threatening. Which is also true, he's the only one on our tribe who hasn't made it to the FTC yet. This has me thinking "let me talk to Devon about the tiebreaker challenge so he can figure out who he thinks he can beat" So I went into a call with Devon tonight basically expecting him to be down for a tiebreaker challenge against whoever he thought he could beat in the challenge, but ended up leaving the call actually wanting to vote him out because of how annoying he was throughout the whole call.... Me: "Hey Devon, Autumn and Duncan are 100% going to vote you out tonight. I will vote with you, but I need to know who you think you can beat in a tiebreaker challenge because if I vote with you, you need to win this challenge. Otherwise, I'll be public enemy #1 if you lose" Devon: "Well I think I could beat Duncan in a tiebreaker because he's throwing my name out there to try and get me out. Also, I've been completely honest with you this whole time so I hope that you'll vote with me tonight because I was going to go to the end with you. Anytime I was under the hot seat in Guyana, I made sure to win that challenge." Me: *looks at Guyana's wikia to see he won 1 immunity challenge and read confessionals about how he's a liar, a backstabber, and can't be trusted* The whole time he kept asking me who I wanted out and I'm like "none of the politics matter this round" Why? Because if it's a 2-2 tie, it comes down to how well you do in that challenge. Like I tried to tell this man he needs to bring his A game in the challenges. And he isn't even seeing that as a factor. Personally, I think Devon has a better chance at beating Autumn in a tiebreaker. Duncan performed better in all of the previous challenges so far. So the fact that he isn't really seeing this on a challenge performance level and more of a threat level shows that he doesn't see the severity of this situation. Chances are we will swap next round, so I can try vote Devon out and use connections to say "hey, I'm next to go on this tribe please align with me" in an attempt to get new allies. Plus Devon's paranoia really has me saying forget the whole tiebreaker plan and vote him out. UPDATE: I had to stop typing this confessional because Duncan called me to tell me Devon told him about the tiebreaker challenge and in all honesty Devon is a dumbass (sorry Devon) like his lack of perception in this game is TRULY astounding. Duncan and I basically spent the time bonding over his lack of sincerity and that Autumn is better for a swap. And with the performance he's putting on tonight, I'm ready to vote him out. I just have to hope we actually swap because if we do another tribe challenge and we lose AGAIN I know I get the boot. Also, I realize more and more that Devon really sucks at challenges and there's no way he can beat Autumn or Duncan at a challenge. So I guess I'm voting him out this round and then HOPING this doesn't come to bite me in the butt at the end. Sorry Devon. I wish I could have kept you, but you should have kept your mouth shut to Duncan & Autumn :/

... yeah I don’t think I can vote out Adam. Which is a shame because I made a promise and an alliance chat with Austin. But realistically Adam is a better player to keep around. He’s more easy going than Austin and more vengeful against the Brawn tribe which is definitely something worth keeping around. Also I accidentally just made an alliance with him. I really need to stop doing that before I start to face actual repercussions for my actions. Austin didn’t tell me his plans to vote out Connor so in my mind that’s sketchy as fuck. And I know he just got voted out of a game and I’d feel like a prick for voting him out. But we don’t have room for doubt in our tribe alliance. What if he’s trapped alone with Connor on a different tribe? Can we trust him not to vote for him? What if we merge and he feels the need to go off script? Will he just fuck off and do his own thing? And sure Adam most likely has an idol but he won’t have it forever. Sooner or later he’s going to have to use it and wouldn’t we be better off if he used it for us rather than against us? Then we can go in for the kill with his weapon down the hatch and our trust in his back pocket. Now I just need to express this to my teammates with out sounding like a psycho or a loon.

*sarah maclachlan playing in the background* hello ladies and gays, my name is adam, and welcome to..... my survivor funeral. In all my times playing tumblr survivor, the same situation has just ironically always happened to me, the very first tribal i partake in, my name ALWAYS gets thrown out there and i almost go home, but i somehow weasel my way out of it, and i think this time may be the one that finally gets me and stops me dead in my tracks this is gonna be a lot of tea so buckle up and get your teacups gorls, so basically immunity ends, i lose whatever i came close but ive never been one to need to rely on challenges to win, except maybe i did need this one, anywho after the challenges i go around and try to pick some brains, im hesitant about throwing a name out there but i did innevitably mention connor's name only to augusto/amir and austin mentioned voting connor to me first, i did say i felt disconnected to connor to austin first but i didnt say anything about voting him out first, anywho so im sitting here thinking...ok this seems too easy especially because i messaged other people aka augusto/amir and literally was getting no responses from them right away?? like im not an idiot, im of course assuming theyre plotting against me and normally im just being paranoid but NOT this time because AJ comes to me, because little does everyone know aj is definitely a friend of mine so he mentioned to me that kendall allegedly messaged this group chat they had the other day from the challenge i WILLINGLY sat out in, and was like "so obvious alliance without alex or adam and lets vote one of them out xD" like ooh ok you got me, congrats the only way you can play survivor successfully is by creating an alliance of circumstance that has nothing to build off of, its so frustrating the ONE time i really come into this game playing, like ive messaged and genuinely tried building relationships and for them to basically just all of the sudden be null and void over nothing??? it irks me i wont lie. It dissappoints me, and honestly upsets me. Im not an outwardly emotional person usually but im kinda upset over this? i know its a game and i shouldnt be taking it personally, but for me to have started building connections with people like augusto and amir and for them to just throw me down the river just because i wasnt included in their group bothers me. i guess i know its the name of the game, but what really upsets me is ive been TRYING and then theres people like connor who aj has said wasnt even ON the other group call for long at all and made no contribution??? but youre gonna vote me out.......someone who genuinely wanted to work with you people and am here to do so??? i guess on the bright side i can take some flattery if i leave first because aj said if they vote me over austin its because they view me as a bigger threat than him.....which they are 150% right to do so, however....they dont know im a threat!!!!! like i said some of these people havent even tried to get to even know me so how can you try and make conclusions about me already?????? AND YALL ARE REALLY SO DIMWITTED YOU THINK ID WORK WITH JAKEY ON THE OTHET SIDE BECAUSE I KNOW HIM???? what part of i voted him OUT last game, he NOR i have played since which shows you how traumatic it was, like i know he's against me already so im 100% not wanting to work with him. but guess what, if by SOME miracle i survive this tribal, and i would really need a miracle, if a swap comes soon i am 100% going to flip because augusto? dead to me. he can stream jlo for all i care. amir? sorry to this man who i barely know and tried to work with because we had a brief tumblr history together, which i barely knew him then either, clearly i made the right call not associating with him often, kendall, she's perhaps the fakest of them all, she basically messaged me and when i said what were you thinking she said "ive heard austin and connor but i DONT want to vote austin" so in my mind i know its really me or austin so good job, you just told the person you want out that you want them out. my plan now is to simply try to survive right now, and if that means having to vote austin out its what im gonna do, but aj himself has told me amir/augusto would be open to working with me had i proposed some type of alliance to them, so thats my next plan, i hope i can make them want to work with me over kendall/connor, and the 4 of us form a REAL alliance, and if they want austin ill vote austin, at this point i switch into flight or fight mode and as much as i love a good fight, i have to keep my claws put away for this one, no one knows how BAD i want to just call out all of this tribe for lying right to my face and keeping me in the dark for no reason other than a pure coincidence, if they vote me out ill tell them off as i walk out of course, but i really dont want to blow up ajs game and i want this plan to work.... so ive got to shut my big mouth right now and try to outplay as much as i would like to just outscream them all right now.. anywho, its not looking good for me. i have about a 45% chance of survival i feel like, so send me all the positive energy you can because a bitch needs it, god speed yall and ill see you on the other side one way or another...

ugh one last thing i forgot......if im really voted out first and get that cirie hvv treatmeant because in my mind i just WANT to be her.......lets omit this time! no need to update the wiki, we'll press delete and pretend this moment never happened because thats how im going to treat it especially these FAKE ass PHONY ass people. FRAUDS. all of them. like i get it, im a fake bitch at times obviously like thats the game but im not used to people being fake to ME like it hurts especially when you think youre feeling real bonds with people..... i- lemme not start going on and on again. im not a quitter, im a tough cookie, ive had way worst problems in life ive figured out on my own and luckily im not completely alone with aj unless he's just been playing me which then OUCH that would hurt 1000x more but i genuinely dont think he is, at this point i trust him with my life in this game because i feel like he's my key to staying. i need him, and i need augusto/amir, even though they've hurt my feelings and i want my revenge, i have to compose myself and play my cards right, this is a war, not a battle, and while i may lose all at once, i have to play the move i think will most best keep me here one night longer ...

oh gorl ok i promise LAST ONE i just have to get this off my chest! ok so, after thinking about it and smoking a nighttime bowl i'm less UPSET about the possibility of me going home first on the beauty's and now i'm just more confused, augusto did message me back and was saying he'd be interested in my proposed alliance however he could easily be lying to me since he's been lying to me already this whole game however i have no choice other than to try this hail mary, i also think i'm gonna try to plant doubt against kendall because she directly told me she was basically voting me out, so i'm gonna go around and tell people she refused to vote austin out, because she did say that, and hopefully they don't just give in to her bidding. i can't really be mad, we won't be singing amigas cheetahs tonight, but i'm gonna turn my frustration into work, i see multiple scenarios in my head the moment i start to feel the one i'm in is heading south so right now my only chance of making it through is pushing this alliance and testing the connections i've been trying to build, wish me luck if i hear something good from amir there might be a glimmer of hope? probably not but i'll absolutely try just for the good edit of a dramatic tribal dahling

So first off, fuck Skype. Because if Skype wasn't a laggy ass bitch, I would have won that immunity. But it's fine because I don't think I'm going anywhere just yet. It's been very refreshing to have multiple people come up to me and say they want to work with me. Like Jakey obviously has been the person I've been able to talk to openly since Day 2. And I knew Dan and I had a mutual bond that would allow a good amount of trust, so it was nice to see that become much more evident when he came to me to talk game. Now I have Jordan and Ali who both said they want to work with me / guaranteed not write my name down. And Liam is hardcore pitching to me and actually making a lot of sense. So now even though I thought I would go for Liam this round, I actually think I may push for Lovelis to go. It's a weird thought that the person I just finished a game with would be the one I'm going to probably vote tonight, but it may make the most sense for my game. I admittedly also don't think everyone voted out is going to get eliminated. My guess is one of them survive and then we have a swap with 2 tribes of 8, but we shall see!

It’s tribal time y’all! My alliance (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor) had the idea of adding AJ to our circle as it would be super easy to do so as we all are in a challenge chat together which is nice. I do really like AJ now like we’ve really connected these past few days and have had a little duo-bond going on so this 5 person alliance is the best chance for us to get even closer in a game-sense. We all went on call and discussed the topic of Adam versus Austin. While AJ and Amir would prefer to keep Adam, Kendall prefers to keep Austin. I’m genuinely on the fence because I like both of them and they both like me a lot? I tried to rationalize it in a game sense of Austin is slightly more transparent and easier to read while also having a weird social game that would keep one of us over him in a swap scenario. Adam, on the other hand, is probably more dangerous long term as he could cause more damage and his relationship with Jakey is very up in the air in terms how it affects us in a swap. So for the immediate future, Austin would be better to keep around because of a swap but thinking about the long-term, Adam could be better as he could be a shield? It’s interesting like this vote really is about weighing instant gratification versus delayed gratification and seeing which helps us out more?

While on our 5 person alliance chat call, AJ ended up revealing how the idol system works which…. YAAAAASSS we won! A thing that concerned me is that he said someone had already found something which is likely Adam considering he had told Amir about the numbers thing beforehand? That is just my gut telling me that though but it’s something we gotta think about hmmmm… very inch resting.

Not Kendall and I making an alliance with Austin ghfjdsk, it FINALLY happened but it’s kinda silent so far? I’m kinda side-eying Austin as when I talked to him about the vote, he had only mentioned Adam to me whereas he mentioned Adam and Connor to other people so it’s like… do you REALLY trust me? I don’t really know anymore, it’s something to keep in mind though!

We had agreed on voting Adam and not gonna lie, I feel awful about it from a personal standpoint? I really really like Adam like we have so many similarities and common interests so I’ve really grown to appreciate our bond. Adam had mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Amir, and AJ and told me that he wanted to ask me how I felt about that before he told the others because he really values my opinion which made my heart cry. To make matters worse, he told me how he feels he can FINALLY experience a game where he has genuine people he likes to work with and cause damage like AHHHH I feel so bad because a part of me wants to keep him but my loyalty to my people is outweighing that? Like I do genuinely want to keep Adam because he’s amazing and I would feel awful voting him out because I think he’ll take it the most personally from me and I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s pain/sadness ever yknow? Ugh, it’s just a lot and I probably seem like an emotional mess but I think I have to put more value in my head over my heart in this game and this could be a start?

I went to bed sad about having to vote Adam today and I woke up to Kendall wanting to call me. We go on call and debate whether the fact we wanna vote for Adam to begin with and we were both kinda like… we honestly don’t? Not just because we like Adam but Austin is not being as transparent or present as we would’ve hoped so it kinda helps us make our decision for us? I did tell her about Adam’s alliance proposal because I also want to be as transparent as possible and even flipped it in a way that we can make Adam feel extra comfortable with a false majority so if he does have an idol, we can keep him from ever playing it. Not just that, but we can also convince Adam to vote Austin instead of Connor like he wants to by us falsely stating Connor helped out tons in the challenge and while he won’t be completely active, that’s to our benefit and not a detriment at all. We then got on call with AJ and he agreed with our points so yay for saving Adam? I’m genuinely happy with this especially since Adam does benefit my longer term game and I love him so <3

I am SHAKING right now. It's obviously come down to either between me or Liam L, and it sucks! I didn't want to vote out Liam but my hand has been forced at this point! He's been on away all morning so I've made my move, trying to hit up Ali, Jordan, Jakey, TJ, even Dan (who answered me then went on away c':) I THINK I've done a good job of speaking as to why I'd like to stay? Jordan is keeping me updated and TJ said he will as well, so I hope they're telling the truth..

Since it's been awhile, there are a few things to go over: 1. The alliance between myself/Scott/Duncan/Autumn has been so successful so far. We survived three straight tribal councils after losing three straight competitions. We didn't waiver a single bit from one another and that is so rare in Survivor. 2. Going into this round, I thought my only chance was to enter a tiebreaker against Duncan and try and win in a competition. I pleaded to Scott for his vote, but he was skeptical. 3. With my back up against the wall, I confronted Duncan in hopes of flipping his vote. As a result, a chat between myself/Duncan/Scott was created. 4. As long as Scott/Duncan aren't playing me, this could very well be the fourth tribal council in which I survived with my name being mentioned in three of them. Slithering doesn't always work, but this round has been the toughest one to date.

it's still day 9 and SO much more has already happened... i could be writing to you from the grave with this, but i think, maybe just maybe, i might have a shot at staying now. its so crazy how fast this game really changes, last night i was in a horrible mood (so SORRY to everyone i dragged in my last confessionals my feelings were hurt and i was moody i take it back! especially telling augusto to listen to jlo that was just CRUEL. howvever it was because i thought it was game over me, i saw this major alliance form right in front of my eyes that i was on the outs in, and with the help of AJ, i was able to just maybe infiltrate and create my own counter alliance with some of the people from that majority who just might like me a little bit more. Even if i get voted out tonight, i can go out with my head held high now because even if these people are playing me, ive tried my best and attempted to make some form of a move even if the move is just saving myself, i wanted to maybe work with austin but however i dont see it in the stars for us anymore This is why ive worked hard on maintaining steady social relationships, this right here, because today i made an offical alliance chat with Me, AJ, Augusto, and Amir, and while i definitely still have my doubts about Augusto/Amir, right now im stuck with them. If i want to survive this vote, i need to see if i can trust them, if they are legit about being real to my proposed alliance instead of their other one, theyll vote with me tonight and we'll take baby steps and go from there. I absolutely have been playing the pity card, with all of them and even kendall. I'm making sure people think im just this nice funny person who wants to play the game and have a shot, which is true, but im willing to do anything to stay, its just funny to me how last night i was having a breakdown over everyone saying im a threat and wanting me out, and i didnt completely get it at first, but you know what if the vote really doesnt fall on me tonight and i somehow survive, then maybe theyre right and maybe i am a threat if i can help to flip this whole tribe in a matter of hours. I even begun platning seeds against kendall because i know she was throwing my name around and you most certainly wont get away with that sis. I begun telling people she refused to vote for austin, because she did, she foolishly told me that and now im gonna use it against her. I dont think I can pull off voting her out this round, i need to focus on saving myself, but just know she's awoken the beast and i have her in my future sights. pray for me yall, im playing every single card i can in what could be a hopeless last ditch effort. But i think my odds of staying may really be going up, unless these people are just THAT good at being fake then....they got me gal.

This tribal council is really about to raise my blood pressure huh? Its crazy cause I am quite confident I am not going home tonight, I would say most of the tribe as well feels that way and most i think should. As far as im concerned Myself, Dan (whose immune duh), Ali, Jakey and even TJ knows that its gonna be one of the Liams. Liam is aware that hes at risk cause hes been innactive and is throwing out lovelis name. Lovelis, I think doesnt know hes at risk, which is dumb cause he has not had a good social game so far and just thinks its easy on Liam. It might not be though, Liam has been ramping up his game a bit to try to stay safe (my advice to him of course) and I think it may be working. Obviously I know I can trust Liam and in most other circumstances i think I would work with him without question, however because this is a main season and he played in survivor jordan pines, its such an easy link to us that I just worry how it might affect ME down the road. Obviously if I can keep Liam safe tonight I will, but I am not fighting a hard fight to keep someone who may eventually be a detriment to my game whereas lovelis could be a lot of different possibilites. Im unsure where the road goes now, I think I am gonna call with my alliance of Ali Jakey and Dan later to try to think of a name, we just need to make a decision between the two already so I know which i should be priming up to be a goat for me and which I should cut loose haha.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LHsOiuD0RNMuor24fzziE04b_iTVsFRD/view?usp=sharing

okay so my video confessional is uploading but i think liam lovelis is doomed! he seems like a king but he needed to put in work to stay this round and i dont think he did unfortunately :(

well, in a sick turn of events, we did NOT swap tribes! in fact we were punished for god knows what as all tribes were required to go to tribal, so immunity was individual! the challenge itself was HELL and i am not going to talk about it other than the fact that i literally could've won if i didn't fuck up the second time. thankfully amir won, so i'm happy! going into tribal, however, i was in the mood to vote either austin or connor. i've kinda connected with everyone else on the tribe totally to the point where i don't want to vote them off right now, and while both are amazing, i ain't really CLICKING with them like that. but to be fair, they both have outside priorities like work and school so i can excuse the lack of conversation. i assumed initially that it was going to be a matter of no one wanting to step on any toes, so there'd just be a bunch of "oh i haven't heard anything yet" and beating around the bush, BUT kendall swooped in and declared our challenge chat from the last immunity (which consisted of her/me/augusto/amir/connor) an alliance, to which we all agreed. obviously i wasn't gonna turn it down! these were people who i really vibed with! it just sucks that someone like adam was a victim of circumstance and isn't able to be able to be apart of the alliance. we all (bar connor) hopped on call to discuss a vote and while it seemed like austin was gonna be the initial vote based off of what everyone was saying, ADAM ended up being the target that night. i played along and just went with it but i knew i had to do something since i wasn't gonna let adam go out like that. i tried to wave the caution of a potential idol play by bringing up the tomb system and how i cracked the code (per adam's hard work), but at the time it only pushed that vote further! we were under the impression that adam was throwing around connor's name, but on the contrary it was austin from what we've gauged. adam went to augusto i believe and brought up that he's heard connor, which only could've came from austin! this is where the conversation itself started to take a turn, so the vote went from adam to adam(?). everyone dispersed and like 5 minutes later i called adam DJKALSJFKJ. i had to let him know what was going on! he, of course, began panicking and started plotting on how he'd bounce back from this and i was a little weary at first. one thing i didn't want him to do was throw me under the bus or snap, it wouldn't his or my game for that matter. so i suggested he try to craft an alliance with myself, augusto, and amir. while he doesn't really trust the latter and plans on flipping in the event a swap comes, i knew that it'd be way harder for the vote to NOT be adam if he put them in this kind of position that austin isn't offering them. i went to sleep and when we woke up, kendall proposed another call! thankfully, she suggested flipping to austin, to which augusto and i agreed, because honestly adam does NOT deserve to be the first person gone from this tribe. so like that the vote went from adam to austin and things were pretty cemented, with it not changing as of the time i'm writing this. we're currently under the impression that austin is voting connor, which is fine since we got connor's blessing to keep his name out there since we DID here it, and it's best to keep adam feeling safe. ugh the way i was expecting a HEADACHE this morning if things didn't start the change like oh brother... bless up. p.s. chrissy hofbeck let me DOWN. i love that queen but she replied to my dm for the first challenge which was almost over a week ago today?! wow chrissy.

So we're just a couple hours until tribal; essentially the whole tribe has agreed to do Lovelis at this point, and now somehow Lovelis knows that Liam had been targeting him. A couple people think that Ali is the reason why, but there's a chance it was me who actually is at fault because I confirmed it to Lovelis after he asked a second time, but I'm not going to full out admit that there was a chance that it was me (other than explaining the first half of my convo) because people doubting Ali is actually going to be kind of decent for my game. Ali is a huge threat moving forward and I trust Jakey, Dan, and Jordan more than him at the moment, so if it poses some doubt... it may not be the worst thing in the world. Russell hat might be out today ;)

okay so i have a video confessional uploading but i unfortunately think liam lovelis is going home! i love him so much he is so lovely, but i think he didn't put the work he needed to, to stay. would love to work with him in a different game, in a different situation but am sad it wasn't to be. i love my brawn men and i'm SO SAD that we are probably going to be separated. also im so sick and alyssa is gonna wonder who the old crone wheezing on call is and its me

So I won immunity hehehehe we love being masc and winning comps. But anyway I’m happy I’m safe going into the triple tribal. It’s all I really wanted. Should be an easy vote. Lovelis is just like not around enough. And he’s connected to TJ, so it will be nice having TJ somewhat to myself without distraction? That’s probably not actually the truth but let’s pretend it is.

Adam wants to make an alliance with me and Augusto and Aj, but like, fuck. It’s too late. The 3 of us are already with Connor and Kendall, but Adam is being genuine and honest with us and it’s just really sad that this is the way this has to go down. If I was in his position I’d be so sad, so it’s making this game hard, but the logical part of me knows that eliminating him at this moment is the right move . I haven’t played these games in almost 3 years, and I know that you have to be a predator in this game, not prey, and you can’t let your emotions stop you from positioning yourself as best as possible. Do what u gotta do and feel bad later ! But for the record, I do feel damn awful for this , sorry adam

What in the fuck I literally woke up and my alliance wants to KEEEEP ADAMMMMMM KDJDJDSNSJSNKDNDKDDNDND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANNOT TELL IF IM HAPPY OR PISSED OFFFFFF I can work with Adam, and I can be tight with him, but the alliance known that Adam told me about numbers on the blog and i made ppl think he has the idol, so as long as Kendall Augusto and Aj don’t spill those beans to Adam, him staying is still okay in my game, this just puts me in a slight risk zone, it’s a loose end And I don’t really know how to go about it I’m not gonna try and convince them to remove Adam when he obviously trusts me Kendall is a damn crackhead I love her tho like in a weird way I really do trust her??? I feel like I can read her pretty well I literally can’t go to sleep without my alliance changing fucking everything I CANT SLEEEEP ever again huh Chile... tbis is our first vote and I’m ??

is it against the rules to go to my alliance members houses one by one and jump them?

Amir u stupid ass bitch... dipping my hands into too many cookie jars i got close with adam and then distanced from him cuz he was leaving and now i got to get closer again cuz hes staying. but adam likes me and augusto the most on the tribe i think me and augusto are the closest with everyone on our tribe and that makes him my biggest social threat, but hes also my closest ally so like this is good at this stage, we have a lot of pull

youtube

okay so this twist is crazy and i'll like properly articulate my thoughts tomorrow but all i want to say is everytime autumn messages me i get such a rush of seretonin - wow do i stan her.

These are my pre-triple tribal thoughts https://youtu.be/18jIBeTw_lY

Well well it seems these bitches haven't got rid of me yet. I don't feel they will give me a chance to actually be back in the game but I'm gonna fight my ass off to try. I love the game and I dont go down easy. I'll kiss ass or do whatever I have to do to save myself . Tumblr survivor gods please please please be with me

hey you guys its me adam and im coming to you from the survivor afterlife because they succeeded and just voted me ou- wait.... wait a minute, wait what?? the hator beauties DIDNT vote me out?????? GORL i am counting my blessings that my dumbass somehow survived the first vote, ESPECIALLY after finding out my name was not only thrown out there, but that it was a LOCKED plan. Literally sent me into a whole tizzy and caused me to doubt my self worth because i felt so bad about my gameplay but BITCH, i still got it. Yes, the rumors are true, you CANT kill a bad bitch. MANY THANKS TO AJ. I absolutely give credit where credit is due, if it weren't for aj telling me about the plan to get me out, i never would have played as hard as i did today, before i went to bed last night i basically talked to everyone, kendall/amir/augusto and was just making sure they all heard me out, i played up big time that i wanted to just be here for the team, and how BADLY i wanted to be able to play with loyal people, especially when i made the alliance chat for me/amir/augusto/aj because aj told me they did say theyd be open to an alliance with me so i think me doing all that and then of course aj's impact from the inside definitely lead everyone to change their minds and so then today the plan was shifted to austin i didnt want to vote austin honestly, but at that point it was me or him and my instincts always are fine with it, AS LONG AS IT AINT ME. PERIOD. They absolutely made the wrong choice though, because especially LEARNING all the information i did, ill never trust a single person on this tribe again, except aj, and i will absolutely be looking for the cracks and to possibly flip in. also after tribal , we got bombarded with this twist, SOMEONE IS COMING BACK FROM ONE OF THESE 3 TRIBALS???AND WE'RE ON A ONE WORLD BEACH NOW??? gorl its time to get to WORK, immediately upon entering this beach with everyone, austin messages ALL the beauties swearing he wants to work with us still if we bring him back- but then goes and messages EVERY other person, and here's the best part- INCLUDING THE OTHER PEOPLE VOTING TO COME BACK IN AJFSDKH LIKE WHAT HE ASKED DEVON TO VOTE HIM BACK IN I WAS SCREAMING austin, thank you for showing the beauties we made the right choice, and hopefully we pull it off and you dont come back, sorry nothing against you though!!! im immediately leaning towards bringing devon back, because well the brains are just not really a threat at the moment and the last thing we need is braun gaining a number on us. Austin also told me my name was an option for the vote from tribal, which i completely was aware of but had to act like i didnt know because i didnt want aj exposed, HOWEVER now that austin has brought this up i can freely mention it to whomever now, so i immediately bring it up in my chat with amir/augusto and lemme tell yall.... ive never heard a silence quite this loud. whats wrong? yall dont wanna be honest with me about having a whole alliance just to conspire to vote me out????? this was a test from me, i gave them the oppurtunity to come clean and they refused. it shows me i clearly cant trust them, but again, until i know what the hell is going on in this game now, im stuck with them until i can make a move against them. kendall also came to me saying "hey can i ask you something" so i go sure gal whats the tea and she asks me "was i an option for the vote because austin said i was" so i was like omg no! of course not!!! because realistically she wasnt, even though she absolutely shouldve been for daring to raise her tongue against me IM ONTO YOU SIS... i know exactly what shes doing, she knows austin is telling me i was an option so shes probably hoping by telling me that i wont believe austin, but silly girl, i already knew about all yall's trifling ways!!! anyway, send fucking help we need it, the beauties are the FAKEST group on this island. im having better conversations with people from the other tribes i dont even know during this one world twist... also was able to catch up with jakey....that was interesting, we always have great convos because like we just know each other so well, and he's acting like he's forgivven and forgotten about challengers vs. champions, but i know him well enough to know he's NOT going to trust me this game because well...if i were him i absolutely wouldnt trust me either, we're kinda like parvati/amanda in hvv. Ill keep him on my backburner, incase we swap and im with him i at least want a fighting chance, if i HAVE to work with him but i probably will end up having to target him because i know him all too well and how he plays, its dangerous for EVERYONE. (but mostly for me, which is what's most important)

Of course it wasn't a swap! That would be too easy!!!!!!!!! No we had to make it as dramatic as fucking possible and vote some sap back into the game!!!! UGH Well, at least this gives us all time to scout out the competition. And believe you me it has taken a lot of will power to not compulsively make another alliance. I mean, I did, but like with Jordan Pines so that doesn't count. I have reunited with my Survivor Dad Scott, my pizza molester friend Liam, former Gorlley Duncan, and my former arch enemy Jakey. I say former but Jakey clearly doesn't see me that way. He still had me on block and allegedly the first thing he messaged Adam was if "it was safe to unblock me". Like dude, Neverland was 4 years ago get a grip. I mean yeah, I'm playing up the arch enemy aspect on my side but that's more for my own amusement/Adam's loyalty. I genuinely didn't have an opinion on him anymore. I mean, I do NOW but I assure you it is purely built on self defense. Admittedly, I wasn't on my best behavior during that time and I will apologize for it but damn dude keep my name out of your mouth. Speaking of people who won't shut the fuck up, we have Austin!!!!!! He has made a point to swear loyalty to Brains, Brawn and Beauty. Which I get you have only 24 hours to find safety but like do better. He also told Adam that we were targeting him at first tribal council, which is admittedly accurate but also incredibly inconvenient for the rest of us. Luckily Adam seems to hold us in higher regard plus I miggghhhhhtttttt have lied to him a wittle wit in order to make him doubt Austin. 9:49 PM Hey can I ask you a question? Adam, 9:52 PM omg of course 9:53 PM Was I an option for last tribal? Adam, 9:53 PM omg 9:53 PM It’s okay if I was but you have to tell me if my name was written down Adam, 9:54 PM absolutely not??? like im not even joking i did not HEAR your name once or even consider you myself and if anyone else did they never said it to me did austin tell you that? I know every season I'm very insistent on how evil I am but I genuinely believe this season I've crossed several ethical boundaries. Like damn, I voted out my first game ally, I tricked both AJ and Adam into thinking they are in a position of power, and now this bullshit? I genuinely hope that this doesn't blow up in my face cause it very well could but if it doesn't... well now I have a spare ally. So obviously Austin is not coming back under any circumstances. Which leaves the two other schmucks: Lovelis and Devon. Lovelis has yet to message me anything and Devon has been a fun conversation. So... as you can see this is going to be a very tough call. I am going to have to pray on it :/. What's that Survivor Jesus? You think we should save Devon? Ehhhh let me talk to Survivor Buddha first, I'll get back to you.

just as much i know yall wish i would shut up these people CONTINUE TO TRY ME AND PUSH MY BUTTONS AND I CANT TRUST ANYONE CLEARLY SO I HAVE TO COME HERE TO RUN MY BIG MOUTH basically, i wake up this morning and while i know austin is just on a beauty tribe crusade throwing us all under the bus to try and get the votes back in, which i completely cant blame him for anyone considering we all did blindside him, HOWEVER i decided to message him again this morning and try and get some more tea out of him, i figure if he's hear i may as well hear him out now, in no way shape or form do i plan on voting for him to come back into the game, but i want this information for my own good, so i decide to ask him who all was telling him to vote for me and what was said, and he tells me that kendall, amir, and augusto all said my name AND that apparently they were calling me a rat too?? now, i know, he's desperate so he'll say whatever, but i firmly believe there's usually a little truth to every lie, so upon finding this out i decide im sick of holding it in, so i message augusto and amir to basically call them out. i wanted to play it very carefully because once again its a test of trust, are they gonna be upfront with me and let me know i was on the chopping block, even if they were considering voting for me as long as they told me, id possibly be able to move foward with them, but again, just like last night, i mention it today and i get LIED TO. augusto wants to play dumb and say "omg i never said that! why would i ever say that about you?!" well idk, why would you act like you're my friend and wanna work with me only to join a super alliance behind my back and make a plan to vote me out? he's lied to my face now more than once and so with that, CANCELLED. Amir at least told me he heard my name but guess what he obviously wasnt gonna do it, which is still a lie i know they all agreed to my name because of aj, but at least amir didnt completely undermine my intelligence and lie to me about it. THESE PEOPLE REALLY THINK IM ADAM THE CLOWN, ADAM THE FOOL, ADAM THE DUMMY WHO CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT, WELL GUESS WHAT BEAUTIES. I DID. i completely feel like sandra on the villains tribe, i cant STAND these people anymore and what annoys me more than them lying to me, is them thinking theyre clever enough to trick me with this stupid ass lie kendall made up about how austin was saying the vote was on her like gorl plea we still have a few hours on this one world beach, so i decide now is my time to START planting seeds to make my move. i have to be extremely careful here, because while the beautiues have completely enraged me and awoke the beast within, im absolutely gonna return their fakery with absolutely fraudulentism. yall wanna lie to me? ok game on, ill lie 10x as hard to you now. i obvioulsy want to just blow my top and make them feel stupid because i know theyre lying, but i have to be smart, for all i know after this person comes back, we could very well head to our same tribes still, or i end up with a beauty majority and i need them to think im with them .. BUT GOOD GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A TRIBE SWAP, AT THIS POINT ID PROBABLY GET MORE STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS WITH TREES THAN THIS TRIBE. Whoever told them they were beautiful people actually lied to them because theyre all UNQUALIFIED to be on the beautys. at this point i want devon to come back, ive had nice little convos with him and im trying to talk to all the brains to be quite honest because, if it were up to me, i would absolutely flip and work with the brains if they would allow me to work with them because clearly i cant trust the beauties???? HELL, I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO WORK WITH JAKEY IF HE'D TRUST ME JUST BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY CANT TRUST THEM??? the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and at this point, the beauties are my enemy. im really hoping my big mouth doesnt get me in trouble because i could be talking to these brains and they very well could go behind my back to the other beauties and im voted off soon, but im hoping they just realize based on the convos im trying to have with them, that im absolutely open to flipping, the beauties may be the devil i know but id rather go home trying to make a move rather than just sitting on the bottom waiting to be picked off, and if the beauties think im gonna just be that person, they made a grave mistake in not voting me out then. If youre gonna throw my name out there, vote me out because i guarantee once i hear it, ill never trust you again. in conclusion, this video about sums up how i feel about the rest of the beauties: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_iM4Z8FkQg

Jeff Probst Voice: And meanwhile on One World Jakey teaches Kendall how food delivery works. djfadklajdkfajkfdjafklds; I feel like a bit of an ass. Me and Jakey talked it over, turns out neither of us entirely remember what our feud was about. We also agreed to be a secret duo while playing up our 'alleged" animosity. I'm keeping him at arms length because I don't entirely trust him but he's easy to talk to, and who am I to decline a free ally. Austin meanwhile continues to spiral further. I feel kind of bad honestly but not enough to save him. He apparently told Adam that we called him a rat? Which, we did a lot of things to Adam but nothing directly disparaging his personality. He's a really pleasant and nice person, he's so pleasant and nice everyone else in the alliance was super reluctant to vote for him while his name was on the table. Which was kind of infuriating at the time but now that we are dealing with this shit storm it's a nice quality. Devon is laying it on thick with me. He has said shit like "I'm rooting for you in the VL" and " I obviously want YOUR trust more than anything in this game" okay that one in hindsight could be a reference to needing a vote. On the other hand he's been very straightforward about not making any promises and I really respect that. It's interesting how everyone wants him back, including the people who voted him out. Which makes me curious, did they plan for this? Lovelis is still a non entity... tribal is in like an hour and fifteen minutes you think he'd pop in with a sup or something? In terms of the idol talk, Jordan and I have compared notes. I told him that Adam probably has it and he told me everyone on his tribe knew about the numbers. So... if we switch it up or go back we can double check and look to see if it's there. I don't entirely trust people on the outside. Don't get me wrong I get along splendidly with Brain and 4 out of the 6 Brawn players seem to enjoy my company. But my loyalty first and foremost belongs to the beauties. You know that, I know that, now let's keep them from figuring that part out. ;)

okay so, i survived my first tribal. my anxiety was really acting up and i like astral-projected during it, but i survived which is what counts. i've tried to take today off because i dont want this game to be ali has an emotional meltdown the entire time and i think im doing okay. anyway SO liam lovelis went home and i really like him but its also like, he really was not putting in the work to stay, and i really respected Liam M's hustle! so it was what happened, and him fighting Liam M was kinda mean JASKDF like idk what he expected Liam M to do instead, it was just the way things shook out. okay and then we have this crazy twist.. the hosts really really said you are anxious? time to get anxious-er. so we are voting either devon, austin or lovelis back into the game. lovelis has fully gone ghost (at least for me), and i think he is kinda done with the game so i think its gonna be between austin and devon. i think devon is who is going to come back, he is handling this perfectly just chilling and being straight up. otherwise so the people i have spoken to since is: Duncan - a king!! he is one of my oldest org friends, he has a different energy now, am determined to prove to him i'm not annoying anymore - loved that he admitted to me he used to find me annoying Augusto - he is really lovely, already clearly MEGA social which is really scary! i like him a lot tho could be a good person in a swap Devon - seems like a king get good energy from him. think he is painting austin as messier than he is and is spreading the narrative of austin making deals but im not fussed austin- seems sweet but idk if he has handled this round right AJ - a king i like his energy!! but yes hopefully devon comes back and i get a good swap... that we pray for

This was such a simple game when I just had me and my cute lil alliance of 4 and that was just 2 days ago.So much has happened in the past 2 days. -Our alliance of 4 creates an alliance of 5 with aj included. -Adam makes a 4 person alliance of me aj and Augusto. - the vote goes to Adam and we all tell everyone it’s Adam, and then it’s changed to a Austin - Austin wants back and to end the beauties. Also exposed us to Adam -Devon wants to come back but brains also want him back, -Duncan wants to work with me -duncan is super tight with Scott and autumn and wants me to get close to them - I’m getting close to jakey, and building a bond with Jordan and dan. - an interesting dynamic is that Duncan doesn’t like Ali, Duncan loves autumn, and autumn loves Ali. - Adam and jakey are also at odds

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD I JUST ... HAD AN EPIPHANY AND IM PROBABLY BEING INSANE, but i think... i think that adam and aj are super close and have a final 2. The vote was originally adam, but the night after we told aj, adam compaigned hard and we all changed our minds. Furthermore, they both knew about the idol system. FURTHERMORE, adam was like "i feel like im missing out on so much" during the unscramble challenge but he had no way of knowing we were all on call. They both know l'shei, they both have the same emoji in their name, they both just replied to me saying something similar at the same time. It is basically all coming together in my head and long story short, we fucked up. Augusto, connor, and kendall have no idea how much we really fucked up but this all could be me making shit up but idk idk ahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha we r FUCKED AJ HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH ME AND AUG KEND CONNOR IF HE TOLD ADAM LMAAOOOOO WE R FUCKKEDDD

WHEW this game, this game. Y'all have taken me on so many emotions in the past 48 hours I couldn't even stop to processing winning Survivor Reels lmaaaaooo. Y'all really had me do that ugly counting challenge, where I messed up twice and ended up with 5 points only for my Skype to stop working for a good 2+ hours. Then Scott won immunity, which meant I had to kill either my dad Duncan or my bb Devon, which was super darksided. THEN after all that and saying my dramatic ass goodbyes, y'all pull out a buyback??? https://i.imgur.com/kQ6umpV.gif BUT ITS OK BECAUSE NOW I GET TO KEEP BOTH AND THE DADS ARE STILL TOGETHER!!! Devon is staying and we been knew. You know I love him if I'm not even mad that he voted me so everyone remember this moment cause that's usually grounds for dismissal in my world. But ugh I'm so happy y'all don't even know. I've really hit it off with a few people too so I'm just feeling myself. I fucking love Augusto we are the same person no lie and I'm also a big fan of Adam, Jakey, and Amir. So even if I get separated from the dads, I can make this work. I'm ready to swap and I just gotta keep misting man after man which I can definitely handle https://media1.tenor.com/images/fe32b9e859965acabe245a41b77e2153/tenor.gif?itemid=4608580

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBquewn3tnw

#BackWithVengeance

0 notes

apocalypto12related · 7 years

Note

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

4 notes · View notes