#Psychosis?

[gayandconfusedmotherfucker]

I’m confused about something, when people describe their psychosis they always say they felt “disconnected from reality” but whenever Ive experienced something that shouldn’t be real always felt so real and FULLY rooted in reality and then later (after a few months usually) I will look back and think “yeah that wasn’t even close to reality”. Is that what they mean? In a more after the fact kinda way? Or no?

I also have trouble with disassociating and thats more when things don’t feel real. I understand that kind of thing is really hard to put into words, but I truly cant tell if I have some sort of psychosis or not ESPECIALLY after reading so many differing accounts of it.

[bluuskkye77]

I will explode in ten seconds if I don't draw Lithuania, Poland, and Ukraine holding hands Goodnight

[ohgodmyeyes]

when i look at Hayden it's like when jack black looks at rosemary, but in reverse.

like... he's just the biggest, fattest, most beautiful thing on the planet and my tiny little baby brain can't even fathom seeing the gangly/muscly/skinny/lean dude you all are perceiving D:

[forget-the-feeling]

“I looked my closest loved ones dead in their eyes and did not recognise their faces”

I just woke up one day and completely forgot who they were, spent the whole day in fear, then went to sleep and woke up the next day back to normal. I have no idea why or how that happened and years later it hasn’t happened since but that experience fucked me up

[iamnotaman]

I Cannot Imagine Why I Am How I Am

When I was a young child I tried to tell my mother a story about a wolf I saw in a tree that I was scared of. It was pareidolia at its best - seeing a face or a shape in the leaves of the tree outside my window, the eye the light of the moon behind it. I can see it clearly now.

I was 8 or 9. I left the room to tell her about the shape that scared me and the one that appeared to tell me to "be not afraid" of the wolf, or itself.

She told me, as I described the wolf and how I knew it was shaped by the leaves and moon now, that I had been scared but I wasn't, that she just "couldn't deal with this" and that I "made myself scared." She told me to go back to bed.

So I didn't tell her about the angel.

I never told her about the angels. The ones that helped me stop being scared of the things that I'd thought of demons that plagued me in the dark for ages. They told me I didn't have to be scared of the demons or them, so I wasn't. My mother and father weren't going to help me and these strange creatures of wings, eyes, and mostly light were offering to help.

So I took them up on it.

[crystalitecloudie]

This is a follow-up post to the post above.

I have since done some more in-depth research on IRLS. They are typically seen in a more negative light compared to their more healthy Fictionkin counterparts.

So really, it is not healthy for me to feed into the delusions that I should be Mitsuki. Heck, she's a character in my mind. The "me" inside my head. She's not even a fictional character that already exists. But when I introduce myself to other peers or adults, it feels so wrong not calling myself Mitsuki Hanehara.

More than anything, I feel guilt. Mitsuki's name is Japanese, as well as her memories that I frequently get flashbacks to. But my "real" self is white. American, more specifically, although my grandparents from my Dad's side lived in Germany for most of their lives.

The fact that who I physically am, and who my brain is telling me I should have been, are two different races? Big no no. Culturally, at least. That's practically like being RCTA (and we don't like those people).

The fear of being judged for that is immense, and so I hide myself under a metaphorical rock and facade.

[madpunks]

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".

[schizopositivity]

Things I'd love for the Internet to leave in 2023:

• misusing the word "delusional" or saying "delulu"

• public freakout videos that are just someone displaying psychotic symptoms

• "I'm in your walls" and other paranoia triggering "jokes"

• schizoposting

• misusing the word "psychotic"

• baiting and triggering people online who are openly psychotic or displaying psychotic symptoms

• excluding schizo-spec and psychotic people from any neurodiversity/mental illness awareness

Let's just all try to be better to schizo-spec and psychotic people. And hold others accountable as well.

[auschizm]

Instead of "but that's not real", you should try responding to a psychotic persons distress with:

That sounds really scary. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine how scared I'd be if it was me.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it can't be easy to open up about it, and I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me

You can tell me more about it if you want to. I promise not to judge you, invalidate you or panic

Is there anything I can do to help you feel safer? Any way I can help support you through this?

[beeribas]

I'm in this weird state of being both over and under stimulated and it's wild. Like, I should be paying attention to my D&D session rn, and I partially am, but I am also out of it and need to fidget and claw my skin off at the same time.

[thecorvidforest]

boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”

[grendel-menz]

a little diary about trying to find a middle ground between being spiritual and being a schizophrenic

[lesbxdyke]

I would like to again big up libraries as safe spaces for people of all types!

I had a psychotic episode in my local library while I was in there working and had convinced myself that I was in a bubble dimension and if I left the library I would die, and that being what had happened to the librarian because I hadn't seen them in an hour (it's a small, local library. You can see the librarians desk from where I sit to work)

Now obviously they weren't dead, they were just in the little office that I couldn't see into.

I'm also lucky enough to be a very self aware psychotic, so I reached out to my support network to make sure I got home safely. But none of them could actually get me OUT of the library and I was still absolutely certain that if I stepped off the carpet and onto the tile, I would die.

So I got up, I made my way to the desk, I found the librarian and I said "I need your help. I'm having a psychotic episode and this is what I currently believe. Could you please come out from behind your desk and stand on the tiles so I can see it won't kill me?"

And they did. They didn't shame me, or laugh, or tell me it wasn't real. They said "Yeah, that must be scary." And thanked me when I admitted I'd thought them dead and been really upset about that because I liked them.

And then stood there on the tile, while I stood on the carpet, for ten minutes while I chatted shit and tried to build up my courage to step on the tile, just in case. Including telling me that if this happened again and I needed to call someone, to disregard the usual 'don't call people in the library' rule and just do so after I promised I was going to be calling my husband the second I was on the tile so he could safely walk me home.

(& so no one worries: my husband got me home safe, and a friend came to check on me a little while later and brought me food and I'm fully Cognizant and out of it now)

I cannot imagine another place where I could approach someone and say that and not get the police or an ambulance called on me. Neither of which I needed or would have been helpful.

I cannot imagine another place where a member of staff would stand somewhere for ten minutes to make sure I felt safe enough leaving.

I cannot imagine another place where I would not only be explicitly welcomed back, but be told "If this happens again here, disregard our normal rules to take care of yourself."

I cannot imagine another place on this earth that I would feel safe enough returning to, 3 days later, after an episode like that.

Libraries are a fucking Godssend and should be protected at all costs!

[terror-punk]

Be Openly Scary

Society is scared of a lot of things it shouldn't be. A lot of those things can't be helped, a lot of those things don't hurt anyone, and a lot of those things are not what people even think they truly are.

So you know what?

Talk about your hallucinations, your delusions, your psychotic symptoms. Share things about your gender identity whether it be nonconforming, trans, xenogender or anything else. Scream about your nonhumanity and animal urges. Be open and unwavering about your systems existence, presenting as more-than-one wherever you want. Use and introduce your pronouns, even if people find them weird or offputting. Rock back and forth, pace, twitch and stim in any way you please. Wear things that reflect your identity in public. Get tattoos and body mods to your heart's content. Tell people about your personality disorders.

Don't make yourself small because others can't handle you. Be open where safe. Be you. Be scary.

[schizononagesimus]

also hey can we talk about violent psychosis for a sec. cause i really appreciate all the talk surrounding psychosis positivity and stuff but a lot of it is "we're not all violent! sometimes hallucinations can be positive!" like sorry mine are not. im scary psychotic.

im "cant have anything that even remotely could be used as a weapon in the house" psychotic. im "if i miss my meds one day i have to go to the hospital for homicidal and suicidal thoughts that literally aren't my own thoughts but theyre controlling my actions" psychotic. im "im seeing horrors you cant even imagine to the point where i dont exist in the same world as you anymore" psychotic.

im not going to hurt you, i just need help. when im rocking in the corner talking to myself at 3am, remember that i am in a state of terror. im afraid for my life. i either genuinely believe everything is trying to kill me, and i only know one way to deal with it; or something is telling me to be violent or else it will kill me; or i have dissociated so hard that i autopilot myself to violence to try and wake myself up.

some of us are violent, and that's okay, because it has to be, because it's the truth. just get us help.

[tortiefrancis]

hey fun fact did you know that if you're on the schizophrenia spectrum, have psychosis, have psychotic symptoms or traits, etc, that you're loved and your symptoms and traits should not be vilainized or seen as evil or ugly?