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litcest · 2 days ago
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"Though It Were the Deadliest Sin to Love as We Have Loved": The Romantic Idealization of Incest, by Eugene Stelzig
A while back I got an ask about incest in the Romantic period and sadly, I had to tell the anon that I knew little about it. I have also covered William Wordsworth's relationship with his sister, which occurred during the Romantic period. In fact, William was an influential figure to the movement.
Then, @familyromantic sent me an article she thought I would like about that very topic, and, while it took me a while to get to it, I decided it's finally time to cover Romantic incest.
In the article, Eugene Stelzig explores how Romantic writers like Rousseau, Goethe, Wordsworth, Byron, Chateaubriand, the Shelleys, and Emily Brontë treated incest not merely as a sexual taboo, but as a symbol of emotional and spiritual intimacy, as well as a form of rebellion against societal norms. The theme of incest often comes along with that of childhood and death, elements which Stelzig ties to the authors' own lives, suggesting their personal struggles with identity, familial bonds, and social alienation shaped the way incest was portrayed in Romantic literature.
Stelzig begins by analysing the works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, whom Stelzig highlights that had lost his mother a young child and proceded to have intense and complicated relationships with older women, as Rousseau himself writes in his autobiographical work Confessions, where he describes his relationship with the much older Madame de Warens. Although she was not his biological mother, she filled the role of one.
"More than a sister, more than a mother, more than a friend, more even than a mistress."
Rousseau, despite lusting after Warens, feels a deep shame after having sex with her, commenting that it felt if he had "committed incest".
Goethe presents incestuous undertones across several works: in The Sorrows of Young Werther the main character is infatuated with Lotte, who acts mother-like towards him; in Faust, the titular character's affair with Gretchen, who is only thirteen, can be interpreted as being a less taboo stand in for father-daughter incest, which Faust often referring to her as "child"; in Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship, one of the characters is explicitly said to be the product of brother-sister incest, and the relationship between Wilhelm and Mignon alternates between having familial and romantic tones.
More prominently, in Goethe's authbiography Poetry and Truth, the other showcases the emotionally complex relationship between himself and his sister, Cornelia, who was only one year younger than him. Due to this small age difference, they were often "taken for twins" and matured together.
"That interest of youth; that amazement at the awakening of sensual impulses which clothe themselves in mental forms [...], all these the brother and sister shared and endured hand in hand."
When Goethe got his heart broken, it was Cornelia that consoled him and he compares it with confidants that become lovers, saying that "we both thought ourselves infinitely unhappy, and the more so, as, in this singular case, the confidants could not change themselves into lovers."
Stelzig then turns his attention to Wordsworth's relationship with his sister Dorothy. Through poetic and biographical evidence, Stelzig demonstrates how their bond bordered on romantic, with William calling Dorothy "my Love" in poems dedicated to her and Dororthy calling my "my Beloved" in her journals. Not only that but Dorothy's journals reveal a life daily intimacy, including acts such as her wearing William's wedding ring the night before his marriage. Their relationship suggests that emotional incest, idealised and unconsummated, became a way to reclaim their childhood, in which they had been forced apart.
"As in the case of Goethe and his sister, it is the function of a shared identity between siblings that has its deep roots in the experience of childhood: Dorothy's adult identification and living with William is a psychic restoration of the loving bonds of the Wordsworth family which had been traumatically sundered by the death of both parents and the sudden separation and dispersal of the five orphaned Wordsworth children."
Furthermore, in Tintern Abbey, William sees Dorothy as reflection of his past self. This is relevant for, in the Romantic conception, love was often seen as "idealized mirroring of the self in the other, the rarefied affinity of souls and the sublime merging of identities", something that can also be seen in Goethe's narration of his and Cordelia's teenage years.
This idea of sameness is central to Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, where Cathy famously declares, "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Since Cathy and Heathcliff were raised as siblings, Stelzig considers this a literary instance of what Goethe and Wordsworth talked about: a metaphysical union of the soul. Their relationship is intense, dramatic, and deeply co-dependent, shaped by their shared childhood and further intensified by the death of Mr. Earnshaw. Despite their profound bond, they are only united in death, being buried side by side.
In Byron's Manfred, Astarte never being explicitly told to be Manfred's sister, but it's clear to the audience that they had an incestuous bond, as Manfred calls their love "the deadliest sin" and also emphasises show similar they were, although he says she was more beautiful. The unnameable nature of their bond only calls more attention to it, leaving the audience to focus of what could be so terrible that the play refuses to say. Once again, there's a tragic tone to the story with Manfred being a suspect of Astarte's murder.
Stelzig then turns to the French author Chateaubriand, who approached the theme of incest by imagining a world in which it was socially acceptable. In Atala (1801), one character waxes lyrical about a mythical past, "those ineffable unions, when the sister was the bride of the brother, when love and fraternal friendship commingled in the same heart".
The story features the half-Indian Atala and her lover Chactas, who discover her Spanish father was also a father-figure to him, leading Chactas to exclaim, "O my sister! daughter of Lopez!" Despite not being blood related, or even having grown up together, that connection is enough for their love to be "quasi-incestuous". Atala never gives into the physical aspect of their attraction, as she had made chastity vows and eventually dies, hoping Chactas will convert to Christianity and join her for an eternal "reunion" in heaven.
As Stelzig puts it, Chateaubriand projects this ideal of sibling incest "backward in time into a post-Edenic marriage idyll, and forward in time into a perpetual embrace in the afterlife"... I'll be frank, the true meaning of Stelzig's words evade me, but I think it looked pretty. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
The theme of incest gets even more sensational in Chateaubriand's René (1802). In which the title character sees his sister, Amélie, as "the only person in the world I would have loved, the only person for whom my feelings were united with the tender memories of my youth". Stelzig notes this likely has biographical roots, with Amélie based on Chateaubriand's own sister, Lucile, whom he adored dearly, but more importantly: René is Chateaubriand's middle name. It's sure interesting how he shares a name with his incest leaning character.
When Amélie rushes to her suicidal-hinting brother, he receives her "in a kind of transport of the heart," and she kisses his forehead. René himself says, "she was almost a mother, she was something even more tender". They live in perfect harmony until Amélie realizes that she is sexually attracted to René, and gets ill. René at first doesn't understand what happens, but then he hears her confessing her "criminal passion" while becoming a nun. The story doesn't have a happy ending, with both of them dying while apart.
Afterwards, Stelzig brings in Percy Bysshe Shelley, who once wrote "incest is, like many other incorrect things, a very poetical circumstance" (a quote which happens to be my most popular post). Indeed, Percy
 Indeed! Stelzig highlights Shelley's essay "On Love," where Shelley talks about something without us that "thirsts after its likeness" and finding an "ideal prototype" or an "antitype", basically a twin flame whose nerves "vibrate with the vibrations of our own". It's clear why one might link those quotes to a incestous union, or at least to a spiritual incest: not related by blood, but by spirt.
In Shelley's poem Laon and Cythna (later toned down and retitled The Revolt of Islam because his publisher freaked out over a little sibling incest), Laon refers to his little sister's as "all I had/ To love in human life - this sister sweet". They were inseparable, with Laon describing her as "a shape of brightness... Like the bright shade of some immortal dream". In the revised version, the girl is Laon's friend, not his sister. (I'm just now noting that Laon is also the name of the male protagonist of Under the Pendulum Sun
 the incestuous male protagonist. Oh Jeannette Ng, the genius you are!). Laon and Cythna's eventual sexual union is described as "Two disunited spirits when they leap In union from this earth's obscure and fading sleep".
Shelley's Epipsychidion, which Shelley himself called "an idealized history of my life and feelings", is all about longing for a soul sister, or as he puts it, his "heart's sister". He addresses her as "Spouse! Sister! Angel!" and declares, "I am not thine: I am part of thee", which echoes Catherine's line about Heathcliff. Stelzig notes how this affinity is grounded in childhood imagination: "There was a Being whom my spirit oft/ Met [...] In the clear golden prime of my youth's dawn". The goal is this perfect union:
"We shall become the same, we shall be one Spirit within two frames, oh! wherefore two? One passion in twin hearts".
This idea of twinhood gets so intense it borders narcissism, he wants to love himself, or better, a projection of himself. Stelzig mentions Shelley's The Cenci to show that not *all* incest was idealized by Romantics: Father-daughter incest was pretty much always depicted as a horror show. In the story, Count Cenci is a "paternal monstrosity" who rapes his daughter Beatrice to break down her will. She sees him as a "clinging, black, contaminating mist". It's all very tragic and horrible, and there's no idealization here – just pure depravity.
This brings us to Mary Shelley's novella Mathilda, which subverts the notion of paternal incest being horrific by sympathising with the characters. Stelzig argues that it "attempts to present the motif of father-daughter incest in a less-than-horrifying and almost attractive light". Apparently, Mary's own dad, William Godwin, thought the subject matter was so "disgusting and detestable" he told her not to publish it, and it didn't see the light of day for nearly 150 years, years after Mary's death.
Stelzig mentions that critics consider Mathilda to have autobiographical influences, perhaps reflecting Mary's attachment to Godwin, whom she called "my God" before meeting Percy Shelley. The novel might have been Mary working out some pretty deep feelings about her dad, after being inspired by Percy's take on father-daughter incest in The Cenci. I wonder if Percy knew what Mary wrote, and what he thought of it
 Did he tell his wife he wanted a soul sister? Did she tell him she wanted her dad?
Mathilda is framed as deathbed confession, starting with the titular heroine promising to "unveil the mystery" of her "sacred horror," even comparing herself to Oedipus. Her mom died giving birth to her (which also happened to Mary), and her dad ditched her with an aunt. Despite this (or maybe because of this), Mathilda "bestowed on him all [her] affections," constantly gazing at his portrait and dreaming of their reunion where he'd say he loves her. And, wouldn't you know, Dad comes back when she's sixteen, and for a while, it's "Paradisaical bliss". But then an incestuous passion awakens in her father, as he begins to think of Mathilda as a replacement for her mother, and his wife: "her mother's spirit was transferred into her frame".
Interestingly, Mary Shelley shared her first name with her own mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, who, as mentioned, died giving birth to Mary Shelley. When the father confesses his love to Mathilda, she freaks out and withdraws from him. The father, seeing her horrified reaction kills himself. Mathilda then becomes obsessively fixed on her dead father, whom she believes she will be reunited with in the afterlife:
"In truth I am in love with death... is it not my marriage dress? Alone it will unite me to my father when in an eternal mental union we shall never part".
Stelzig concludes that Mary Shelley's Mathilda, by trying to naturalize father-daughter incest was "more daring than her presentation (in Frankenstein) of the relationship between Victor Frankenstein and Elizabeth Lavenza, which is a variant of the Romantic sibling incest pattern" (in the original version, that is, not the revised 'they were cousins' version). Even though it doesn't openly break the taboo (there's no consummation and they both die), the story was still too disruptive of the social norms to be published at the time.
Overall, Stelzig's article shows how Romantic writers weren't just being shocking, they used incest (especially the sibling kind) as this symbol for ultimate connection, a kind of "spiritualized eros," often tied up with childhood innocence, identity, and a longing for a love that society just couldn't handle.
I do intend to cover these titles more in-depth when I have time. Also, this post has been a long time in the making, so I apologise if I repeat myself a lot throughout it.
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letmyrighthandbeforgotten · 1 day ago
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Arcane characters but it's who I think their favorite character would be if they were in a modern au and watched arcane:
Mel: This was a tricky one because Mel keeps things close to her chest, but I'm gonna say Jinx. I think she'd appreciate a complex character and relates to her having a complicated relationship with Silco. She's someone who can appreciate a dark or villainous character on their own terms without thinking they're a good or perfect person. She does not partake in discourse. She's very above it all, she just likes what she likes.
Jayce and Viktor: Talking about these two at once because I think their faves are each other. And before you come at me, remember that they are canonically each other’s favorite person. Apart from that, I think they both like Ekko. They're so sad for him losing basically everyone he loves in one night, they love that Ekko is a brilliant inventor in his own right, they love his z drive, and they're surprised by how moved they are by him and Jinx. They both think he was cheated on screentime (they're right).
Jinx: I think her fave is Viktor. I think she's really into his transformation and the body horror of it all, but also his loneliness hits a little too close to home for her. She gets super emotionally attached to him and refuses to examine it closer. She trolls people by saying Viktor never did anything wrong.
Ekko: I think Ekko started out loving Vi but hated where they took her character in season 2. In fact, I don't think he likes season 2, but he'll rewatch season 1. He would appreciate Sevika for always standing on business.
Cait: Mel. I think Cait chooses a character early on to be her favorite and refuses to budge. I think she was pissed at how long Mel was gone in season 2, but at least she came back with magic. She really appreciates how Mel's most important relationship is with her mother and is in the trenches arguing with people over her character. Plus she can appreciate a beautiful woman.
Vi: First of all I don't think Vi watches arcane, but her friends force her to watch with them. I think she avoids getting super attached to any of the characters at first but falls in love with Isha. Her heartstrings are tugged by that little orphan who reminds her of a young Powder. She sobbed and refused to finish watching after Isha died.
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attackofthecats · 4 months ago
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Current status: overwhelmed with love and appreciation for Padme Amidala.
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keferon · 3 months ago
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Just want to say, love your mimick au. I only found it like, an hour ago and I've devoured everything in the tag and I'm planning to do the same to the spellbound and monster hunter aus.
That said, in one of the mimick fanfics, Orion tells Prowl to leave him alone and to find a hobby, but a comic that (presumably) happens after this conversation when Orion meets Jazz, Orion seems to be back to working with Prowl. I thought the whole "leave me alone" order would go on infinitely because Orion didn't seem to have his goal locked down and he also never specified when to come back. So how did they return to working together? Did Orion find Prowl post-meltdown, or was it Prowl who just set an arbitrary amount of time before going back to Orion and going "so, how do you feel about defying god?" I just find Orion and Prowl's relationship so interesting in this au, simply because of how Orion doesn't seem to apply his morals about freedom and coexistence to Prowl despite the fact he's the one who points out that Prowl didn't include himself in his calculations, but at the same time, if he doesn't recognize Prowl's autonomy and only sees him as a tool (chatGPT style), he would have to accept that he's the one responsible for Prowl's actions because he's the one using him. But also also, Prowl encourages him to not take responsibility for all the immoral actions (like killing monsters to keep the Council's favor), which I think Orion does take up, but that would indirectly be accepting Prowl as a individual capable of making his own decisions, you know? It also the fact that Orion and Prowl both have different (and somewhat incompatible) ways of communicating. I was thinking when Orion asked Prowl to what he'd do to make the most amount of mechs happy, Prowl understood it literally: the majority of the population are non-monsters, so statistically, he'd focus on making non-monsters happy. But Orion doesn't want to make most mechs happy; he wants a diverse and equitable society, and that doesn't necessarily lead to happiness, especially in transition phases. Even in the academy, monsters are learning to compromise to live in a non-monster society; compromises are about restriction, which often aren't a source of happiness. But Orion equates that vision to happiness, and probably gets a bad impression of Prowl given "free reign" from his answer. It's great, it's so juicy.
And contrasts so well with how Prowl and Jazz interact and communicate with each other. Like how Prowl makes an attempt to learn hand language for Jazz in the same way he attempts to comfort Orion post-Shockwave demonification. But unlike Orion who has "Prowl is not alive" at the core of their dynamic, Jazz doesn't know and sees Prowl's attempt to learn as a genuine attempt to understand/communicate. You can argue that Prowl is just "programmed" to try and get more information and it's just efficient to ensure Jazz doesn't get carpal tunnel while working together, but you can also argue that we're all programmed to do that as well; small talk or bids for attention are behaviors/actions to build connection through information exchange that we are trained to do from formative years and general society. Which is to say, even if Prowl learns and tries to accommodate Jazz for mission purposes, it doesn't negate the fact that he is investing effort into communicating and building the foundation for a meaningful connection in the same way other people do. It's great, I'm having a blast with the whole AU.
Orion despite being afraid to continue his mission still has responsibilities in his Order so him and Prowl. Yeah hahah they just keep working together but purely on their usual legal tasks. I didn’t talk about the whole situation enough yet but basically Prowl never informed Orion about his new quest of suing God. Primarily because he knows that Orion definitely will try to stop him.
It’s kind of like. “What isn’t forbidden can automatically be considered allowed” mentality.
Also MY GOD YES. My favourite part of this au is reading asks like yours:0 Prowl exists in that thin line between being and not being a person capable of his own choices. Orion exists on the thin line between considering him being one of those options. He can’t see Prowl as a “real mech” because he knows for a fact it’s not true. But then seeing him as a tool means accepting that all questionable things he does are Orion’s responsibility.
At the end of the day Prowl is a metaphorical piece of fabric Orion uses to clean his consciousness. In his eyes Prowl isn’t alive enough to be fully blamed for all the bad things he does but he is also alive just enough for Orion to say “it was your fault. Not mine.”
Jazz doesn’t have that dilemma. Uh. Yet haha he will discover the truth eventually of course~. He thinks Prowl is obviously a real mech because in his world magic isn’t alive. It can create an illusion of a mech, sure, this is what all usual golems are, but it’s not smart or believable enough. It’s like one of those tests where all people think they can tell if they’re talking to an AI chat bot because “duh I would obviously know” and then fail to distinguish AI from a real person. Jazz is perceptive but he doesn’t know what to look for. All he knows is that Prowl is somehow doesn’t love anyone but seems to care about of things that aren’t people.
Also it’s a bit unrelated but I find it soooo interesting playing with the usual concepts of magic and technology. Because usually magic is perceived as something more “coming from your heart” and “connected with emotions” while technology tends to be more “soulless” and “emotionless”. And then we have the entire world of robots who think they are alive and magic isn’t :)
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meowchela · 1 year ago
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🌙- what is your f/o doing late at night when they can’t sleep?
delilah is a CERTIFIED SLEEPYHEAD so she doesn't have this problem. due to her powers, she falls and stays asleep very easily....however, actually getting rest is another story, because using her dream powers takes up a lot of energy. this makes her nap during the day in order to get that energy back properly!!! so she'd probably meet up with me the next morning and we'd both me tired, me from not sleeping because i'm more of an insomniac between the two of us and her from sleeping but not getting any rest XD
as for sarv? she has a lot more skeletons in her closet that would keep her up. certain regrets and irreversible choices, past actions that haunt her, even things she's been forgiven for that she just can't let go of. being alive for centuries will do that to you, and being former leader of the underworld doubly so......especially since she's tried so hard to distance herself from that life. usually she sleeps pretty well but i can definitely see there being times where it all catches up with her again and she has to take a night to just ponder everything. most of the time she'll have ruv by her side to be a silent comfort/to talk things out with him since he was either there for it or has seen her at a point where he'd understand but on nights where i stay over i'm sure she'd just want to cuddle me close like a teddy bear and try to ignore it all. like with ruv she can let her feelings out more freely because he's seen her at her worst and understands where she's coming from, but she sees me as a fresh start and wouldn't want me to see the uglier sides of herself that she's been distancing herself from for centuries now. of course i would love her no matter what, but to her it's an oppurtunity she doesn't want to mess up, yknow? so if we spend the night together we'd probably stay up doing fun or relaxing things to get both of our minds off of the late night demons we both have to face
from this prompt list!
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mangled-by-disuse · 6 months ago
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Tried to put this in the replies, but it got long and is relevant to the OP, so:
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Less so than the average British/South African white guy of his time, which is to say: yes, but not notably so.
He did also speak very bluntly in his response to the Nazi requests to translate his work, claiming he would have been proud to be a genuine Aryan [that is, from the Indian subcontinent] but unfortunately he's just German and English. Some of that is "Oxford fellow thinks he's being very smart" rhetorical devices, but he also does seem to have been pretty vocally of the belief that different cultures and ethnicities held value, and while he left South Africa very young and considered himself English, he did also remark on the brutality and inhumanity of the apartheid regime there. He also criticised C.S. Lewis' assertion (in The Last Battle) that some people couldn't get into heaven on the basis of race and culture, but "have a theological argument with C.S. Lewis" does seem to have been one of his primary hobbies at the time so idk if that was purely anti-racist.
At the same time: this was at a time when the N-word was in common parlance (including in children's nursery rhymes and even in leftist discourse), when Britain had an empire and Tolkien had been raised in one of its colonies, and when the school system emphasised "the white man's burden" and the savagery and primitivism of "lesser" cultures. And Tolkien was not a radical, and not sufficiently concerned with race as a topic to break fully from that social conditioning. So it's not like he wasn't a racist, but he wasn't a racist by the standards of his time, background, and immediate environment. (Bearing in mind that his immediate environment was the same one that saw the rise of Oswald Mosley and Winston Churchill.)
What Tolkien WAS was a genuine, old-school British conservative, which I think is what right-wingers pick up on in his work. He had an engrained belief in hierarchy and traditionalism, and his arguments against capitalism come from Catholic semi-feudalism, not socialism. "The rich man in his castle, the poor man at his gate/God made them high and lowly and each to his estate" is very much an underpinning of a lot of Tolkien's work, which emphasises the importance of working to, and being satisfied with, your status in life - Sam's strength is his humility and desire to be a simple gardener, but, while humility remains valuable throughout, Aragorn's strength is that he knows that he is born to be King. Ruling is all he can ever ethically do (noticeably, whether or not his people consent to be ruled - note that the first Man of Gondor he comes into contact with is Boromir, whose response of "ok mate where the fuck have you been when we were fighting and dying for the past forty years?", and that is cast as a mistake on Boromir's part, and he is told to sit down and respect the rightful king by Literal Voice Of The Gods Gandalf), and it would be wrong and evil for him to try to do anything else, just as it would be a moral wrong for Sam to try to be a king.
Lord of the Rings in particular is very concerned with noblesse oblige and the burdens of power - while, yes, the core story is "minor gentry [Sam is the only actual working-class character] rises above his presumed station and, through being literally and metaphorically one of the little people of the world, slips under the radar and completes a heroic quest", almost all the surrounding stories are about the difficult duty of managing power. And, unfortunately, this lends itself very readily to a "white man's burden" kind of reading - these people, you see, are simply of superior race (literally, in the case of the Elves, and in the case of Aragorn, Boromir, and the ruling class of Gondor being measured by their proximity to NĂșmenorean bloodlines), and so it is their unfortunate duty to command and to cleanse the lesser (Orcish, and by extension Easterling and Haradrim) races from their nice, functional societies.
To be clear: I do not think this is how Tolkien intended it. I think, in his own traditionalist, cloistered-academic, Catholic way, he was pretty egalitarian. He doesn't treat the ruling class as actually better than the working class - Sam is no less a hero than Frodo, Merry, and Pippin, all of whom are gentry or nobility, and none of them are lesser as people than Aragorn or Elrond or even Gandalf or Galadriel - even if he does view class distinctions as fundamental and immutable differences. He values friendship, peace, and the laying down of grudges (against all the problems caused by revenge, note that Éomer's first and most noble act of kingship is "accepting the Dunlendings' surrender, treating them kindly, and making peace with them", and they are so impressed by this that they too put aside a centuries-long war and help rebuild the country they helped to destroy). While he often forgets that women exist (I will die on the hill that "three out of 22 rulers of NĂșmenor were women, despite equal inheritance being explicit" is evidence that Tolkien just did not think of women as being half the population), he is quick to defend their value in both masculine and feminine pursuits, and to express them as people outside of marriage and childbearing - and his own life, in which he married a much older divorcĂ©e from a different religious background against all voices from their families, reflects that same sense of valuing women on human terms. He is a humanist, not in the religious sense but in the sense that he values humanity above all things in his writing; he writes consistently against power for its own sake, against war as glory, and against bigotry and condemnation.
BUT
he was also a traditional, dyed-in-the-wool Tory, Catholic-restorationist, pro-feudal Oxford don who was raised in a much more conservative time, place, and social class than most of us, and he brings that to his writing too. From a conservative perspective, reading with an eye for right-wing ideas:
Éowyn ultimately turns from the aberration of being a warrior and becomes a wife and mother, embracing "feminine" traits of healing and caring as part of her own healing.
Class is reified through Sam's heroism being that of a servant, and Aragorn's that of a king, and the return of the king is the source of great rejoicing.
Some races, and some classes, are simply better at things. Dwarves are better craftsmen. Men are better warriors. Elves are better at everything because they're special. they are also tall and fair and European
The idyllic Shire is a cottagecore dream of traditional British rural life, in which people know their place, women are real women, and everyone has good manners.
Most of the "good" societies are coded with European or Classical trappings (the exception is actually Gondor, which is pretty easily read as Byzantine), and opposed against a literal rampaging horde from the East. Some of the horde from the East are literally inhuman, while others are elephant-riding brutes who hold oblique historical grudges and strange religious customs. Compassion against these foreign invaders is looked upon favourably by the narrative, but only after you've killed them.
With the previous point, and the films, in mind, it is easy to conclude that regardless of species diversity, the Fellowship is a cadre of brave white men fighting to protect their society from a monstrous foreign threat - one in which a cunning trickster from within the main setting has puppeted the less evolved races into destroying Western civilisation.
While the story is anti-war, it is anti-war in a way that allows for cool battle scenes and noble deaths, and there are several points at which Dying For A Cause is lionised and seen as redemptive in a way that slots nicely into a lot of more militaristic ideologies (including fascism).
again, I cannot underline enough, I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS A FAIR READING OF THE NARRATIVE. I think it's an ideologically-motivated reading that ignores both Tolkien's personal views and large chunks of the text. But the thing is: the people who read it in the way I've described would probably say the same thing of your description.
The thing about Tolkien's much-discussed distaste for intentional allegory is: Lord of the Rings is not 1984. It is not an explicit political polemic. It is one man unpacking his Great War trauma and political anxieties, his expertise in Anglo-Saxon literature, his special interests in folklore and etymology, his love of the English countryside and his dislike of modernity, his Catholicism and his conservatism and his egalitarianism and his loneliness and his loves. It is not absolute in its politics, because it isn't trying to give you a political solution: it's trying to give you morals, yes, but they're as much personal ones as societal ones.
It is not a shock that right-wingers latch onto Tolkien's work, or see parts of their beliefs reflected there. It's still a fucking insult to the work, but it's not a shock.
Seeing conservatives and bigots being fans of Tolkien works is a special type of jumpscare bcs what are you doing here man? In the franchise about folks from different backgrounds and races come together in brotherhood to vanquish the villain? Where kindness and compassion and sinple happiness were seen as the best ways to keep evil at bay? Where war is not glorified and seen as a grim necessity to the point where the son of the author gor criticised the movies for glorifying the war too much? Where men openly engaged in feminine activities and were open about emotions other than anger? Where multiple characters gender presentation varied from those we normally associate with their gender? Where women were empowered in multiple different ways? Where greed was presented as turning one into a literal monster?Where the villains are all thinly veiled depictions of capitalism? Where care for the enviornment is seen as a given?
#long post#tolkien#lord of the rings#ALSO WHAT DO YOU MEAN “MULTIPLE CHARACTERS' GENDER PRESENTATION VARIES FROM WHAT WE NORMALLY EXPECT”?#NO THEY DON'T?#literally can't think what you would mean by that i'm not doing a bit. middle-earth is very gender-normative at least in canon.#i think that there are a lot of people who think that the displays of male emotion in lotr are. how do i put this?#more queer than they actually are?#if you compare them to either the epics that he is drawing from OR to the literature of the war he had recently lived through#i would say he takes it to a more human degree but it is not at all abnormal for men to cry and admit fear and touch each other#one of the notable things about ww1 and inter-war literature is an emphasis on male companionship and love#there is an intimacy that comes from being stuck in the actual trenches with only other men#and i think that's what is reflected in tolkien's emotionality#which doesn't mean it's not radical! it is radical! but i don't think it's as gender-nonconformist as it seems to a modern eye.#also the villains are not “thinly-veiled depictions of capitalism”#not just because of tolkien's allegory complaints#but because the villains are depictions of THE LUST FOR POWER FOR ITS OWN SAKE#a thing which exists across all sociopolitical ideologies not just capitalism#morgoth isn't a capitalist! morgoth doesn't want capital! morgoth just wants to BREAK SHIT and BE SATAN.#idk i agree that as a leftist tolkien's work speaks to me deeply on a political level#but i think flattening it to “tolkien is obviously leftist” does a disservice to the complexity of. well. how writing works really.#and also misunderstands that leftist and anti-capitalist/anti-authoritarian are not actually synonymous#tolkien was a right-winger. he voted tory his whole life. he read the times. he identified himself by class in a way that damaged him deepl#he was ALSO an anti-war anti-fascist anti-capitalist orphan who married below his station and out of his class and religion#and who pushed back against what he saw as unfair systems both in britain and abroad#and who escaped the somme by fluke and lost dozens of friends there#and his works are complicated and often self-contradictory#because they aren't essays and they aren't polemics and they aren't political allegories#they are stories informed by the complicated and self-contradictory beliefs of a troubled man in troubled times#idk it feels. sad. to treat them as thoroughly Good And Unproblematic.
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anniedreamwilldo · 5 months ago
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I fear that anyone who says stuff like “ugh atyd is awful because Remus is so ooc and Sirius is a misogynist and wolfstar are so toxic in it” not only a) has terrible fandom etiquette but b) MISSED THE WHOLE POINT
Atyd is not a story about Remus Lupin
Atyd is not a story about Wolfstar
Atyd is not a story about the First Wizarding War
Atyd is a story about class and privilege. Atyd is a story about queerness and comphet. Atyd is a story about disability. Atyd is a story about the intersectionality of class, privilege, queerness and disability. Atyd is a story about growing up and learning how to be a person. Atyd is a story about morality, sometimes being a ‘bad person’ and what this even means. Atyd is about war and grief and societal circumstances forcing your hand. Atyd is a story about emotionally driven decisions and how they affect the people we love. On that note, Atyd is a story about love, but in all its beautifully complex and messy shades, not fairytale romance.
All The Young Dudes is one of the most layered and nuanced works of fiction to ever exist and 99.9999% of criticisms I see of it can be boiled down to “tell me you lack media literacy without telling me you lack media literacy”
Also again, for the love of Remus Lupin, please please PLEASE stop publicly slating fanfictions. Everyone has personal taste and you won’t enjoy everything you read, but fics aren’t published works that have invited critique. Theyïżœïżœïżœve been provided to you for FREE by a fellow nerd in the community so keep any negative thoughts you have on fics to your self.
I’m not saying everyone has to enjoy Atyd or that people can’t think that Remus is OOC etc. BUT the fic is not bad because it’s not to your personal taste and like I said, the overwhelming justifications I see for why people think it’s bad seem to entirely miss the point/ the fact that some of these choices are absolutely intentional from the author. Like, of course Sirius makes objectifying comments about Mary
 he’s a teenage boy in the 1970s who is massively overcompensating to cover his queerness. A huge part of his character arc is comphet???
“We want complicated characters!” people scream until they see a seventeen year old kid on the precipice of fighting in a war for a society that has shunned him for his disability be moody and mean to his boyfriend
Anyway enough of me rambling. Long story short, I’m an ATYD defender until I die
Muchos love n wolfstar xo
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twilightofthesandwiches · 1 year ago
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So one of the cool and interesting ways ‘Steven Universe’ used to try and balance being both a series of 11-minutes episodes that each have their own satisfying emotional resolution and being an overarching story with complicated character arcs that take multiple seasons to resolve is the
 I’m going to call it the ‘Not Quite Right Lesson’ episodes. Episodes where a character kinda learns a Very Important Lesson
 but a more careful and retrospective look at the situation shows that what they learned is not Quite the Right Thing for them. They internalized something in that adventure which just ended up causing more Emotional Troubles for themselves farther down the line.
‘The Test’ is the most classic example. 
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As a standalone thing, it’s just a sweet episode about Steven learning to accept that his caretakers are also flawed and confused and figuring this shit up as they’re going along just like he is, and then doing a nice thing for their sake.
But looking back at this episode, it is quite obviously the nadir of Steven appointing himself as the Family Therapist and repressing all of his problems so he could better help the Gems’ with theirs. Like, there have been some early warning signs for this Complex, but this episode is the one that really cemented that idea in his mind and probably the reason it took him like the Entire Rest of the Show Including a Post-Finale Season to really untangle it.
But
 also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the episode right after that, ‘Future Vision’. I think it’s also a very important ‘Not Quite Right Lesson Episode’ for the character of Garnet, and to some extent, the Crystal Gems as a whole. In many ways, it is to the CGs' character arcs' what 'the Test' is to Steven's.
So in this episode, Garnet reveals to Steven the fact that she has Future Vision. She hoped that telling Steven a little bit more about herself and being honest with him will lead to a greater understanding and a greater bond between them
 but it backfired. It just led Steven to become a total paranoid, terrified wreck stuck in a total existential crisis.
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And it seems like the lesson Garnet learned is that
 she should’ve never taken that risk at all. That it would’ve been better for everyone if she just kept Steven ignorant of the truth forever.
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Extremely reinforced with the ending of the episode, where Garnet chooses to once again hide an uncomfortable truth (that he just came very close to dying again) from Steven, for the sake of his own ‘peace of mind’.
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So, like, the Gems were already hiding uncomfortable truths from Steven since day one. “If you could only know what we really are” and all of that. But I think
 With the actual truth of Homeworld encroaching on them more and more at this point of the story arc, this would’ve been a great time for the Gems to reconsider their attitude and actually Explain to Steven What the Hell is Going On. 
But instead, I think Garnet saw the events of ‘Future Vision’ as a reinforcement of the idea that there’s just some things Steven is Better Off Not Knowing. Actually being frank with him about Homeworld and the Diamonds and the War right there and then, that would have just overwhelmed Steven with fears and worries and would’ve ended up doing nothing but hurting him. And Garnet can’t accept that possibility, not again.
And so, Garnet, alongside Amethyst and Pearl, keep all these truths from Steven as long as possible. Only revealing bits of information when they have to. For Amethyst it’s about her emotionally-evasive attitude (also, she legit doesn’t know all of that stuff herself). For Pearl it’s about how she learned to romanticize Rose’s own fucked-up obsession with secrets. For Garnet, with her usually very direct attitude and preference for the most straightforward solutions, I think it’s very much the events of ‘Future Vision’ that were still playing in her head every time she had the choice to actually Explain something to Steven and decided not to. 
But that, indeed, was Not Quite the Right Lesson. While being bluntly and directly told by Garnet all about the Many Ways He Could Die caused Steven to go into an anxiety spiral and an existential crisis for an episode - the way the Gems have been consistently secretive and evasive with Steven ended up causing him so much more emotional grief to him in the long run. As all of these secrets ended up revealed to him in the most surprising, dramatic and traumatizing way possible.
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And the secretive attitudes ended up driving a wedge between Steven and the Gems. 
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Even after they promised to be more honest with him. Because the sight of Steven crying on the roof that day is one that Garnet can easily move away from. Because Garnet’s Not Quite Right Lesson was almost as difficult for her to unlearn as Steven’s own. 
But after the big confrontation at the start of the Zoo Arc, Garnet ended up being the most upfront about the Crystal Gems’ history. Almost overeager to share what she knows about the past.
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I mean also, again, Amethyst just has less to tell and Pearl is hiding secrets for reasons beyond her control - but I think it’s also important to consider from the perspective of Garnet’s arc.
Because the fallout of the Pink Diamond Reveal is very much centered around Garnet (or, well, Ruby and Sapphire). That was the Truth that was hidden from her 'for her own good'. And at the end of the day, despite all the grief that unveiling that truth has caused
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It has also brought them, all of them, a lot closer.
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There's a reason why 'the Truth' is Garnet's Final Missing Piece in the movie. It is as central to her character arc in the series as Lesbian AngstTM grief over lost love is to Pearl.
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And still, some remnants of the Trauma of 'Future Vision' remained...
After all, even the very last episode of 'Future' was centered around the Gems once again trying to hide things from Steven (at that case, their turmoil about him leaving) for his own sake
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Even though it once again just caused Steven a whole lot of grief.
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It's maybe notable that at the end of this episode, Garnet, once again, tells Steven what's waiting for him in his Future...
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dykeofmisfortune · 3 months ago
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when talking to straight people i think house and wilson are gay and i ship them fanon style. but to fellow gay people however i think its more complicated than that and i do think canon is extremely interesting and i like sticking to the text and analyzing how house and wilson are the show's central relationship and what they have is way more complex than just romance. there's layers to this codependency and i think it's definitely homoerotic at some points but so much of it is just pure nonsexual platonic devotion. they're literally each other's only friends. and specifically with wilson, he doesn't have any connections besides house and his romantic/sexual pairings with women (that's why he's a serial monogamist with 3 ex-wives and also a serial cheater; he literally doesn't know how to have platonic close connections with women, and doesn't seem to hang out with many other men) and i think equating house and wilson to that same kind of romance/sexual relationship would somewhat water down their bond bc i do think if wilson was romantically/sexually linked with house they would Not last as long as they did together. wilson is drawn to instability. every time a relationship got too stable he cheated. this is why he's so attracted to house. if their game ever ended and they settled into a coherent "romantic" or "platonic" dynamic it would be boring, so they need to exist in a hazy in-between area to work. and the same goes for house; i don't think he functions well in a romantic relationship period, if nothing else than because of the social rules. he struggles with things like "being emotionally available" and "honesty" (two things that are kind of expected hallmarks of a romantic relationships, and also the two reasons he and cuddy broke up). the lack of a social contract house and wilson have with each other is why their relationship works for them and also why i don't think they could ever get over their repression and be in a legit romantic/sexual relationship. but when i'm watching it with my parents i'm gonna be like "yeah they're sooooooo gay"
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rosesnbooks · 4 months ago
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❀Scorpio placementsđŸ–€
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💋sun in scorpio: scorpio suns are complex and those with this placement vary a lot. i have no trouble figuring out someone's moon in scorpio but it gets a bit difficult when it comes to the sun. either way, they always have a strong presence and they don't go unnoticed. people tend to form strong opinions about them, whether good or bad. their aesthetics can be different, with some even leaning toward softer looks. the women can be really cheerful and soft, but persevering. the men tend to be more on the "man of few words" side while trying to upkeep a masculine demeanor. they tend to have a great memory and they form strong attachements with their loved ones. they can be either shy or outgoing, but one thing they have in common is that they remain a mystery to a certain degree. they are full of life and they are very curious, and intellectual. they are funny and they love humorous people too. they are interested in many things and they like direct people who are fun to be with. the toxic ones can be really mean and gossipy, while others can be attentive and interesting. they appreciate the beauty in small things in life but they also have high ambitions and aren't afraid to dream big. they are responsible and mature for their age (obviously not everyone but yeah). they are hidden romantics and they have a crush most of the time
💋moon in scorpio: sensitive people with lots of emotions they try to keep hidden. they are very careful who they open up to and people tend to drain their energy, or they simply get tired of keeping up appearances. they want to have people in their lives who make them feel safe and they want someone they can confide into. they try to be independent but they want to rely on others sometimes too. they crave to be understood but they also want to remain a mysterious persona. they also crave a lot of passion in their daily lives and romance. they need hobbies and people that make them feel alive. those who do not manage to find such things tend to become obsessive with love and..yk...because it can give them that high. nevertheless, they are very passionate and creative. they are intuitive and feel other people's emotions but their emotional intelligence depends on their personal growth and their ability to be open-minded. they are prepared to do whatever it takes for their loved ones. i have noticed that they can be hard on themselves and that they wish to be more detached because it seems less complicated. despite craving privacy, i think many of them like attention, especially from the right people. they are yearners at their core.
💋ascendant/rising sign in scorpio: these people seem intimidating at first. they could have a soft aesthetic and everything and still not be easily approachable because of their aura. and yet, people can't seem to stop gravitating toward them. they usually leave an impression even in the shortest of interactions and people want to know what's happening in their mind. they are a lot more sensitive than they look. when relaxed and confident, their demeanor can be hypnotizing and they can turn on their charm easily. i have noticed that they find a fashion style they like and stick to it religiously. many prefer darker colors or more neutral tones they can combine with similar shades. the textures can vary but I rarely see them in any flashing colors. their eyes have a specific depth to them and you feel like they're always out of your reach somehow. they are a bit shy with new people but once they relax they can be humorous and talkative. others may think that they flirt a lot more than they actually do, which can get annoying. i've noticed that they attract emotionally immature people and men who show signs of toxic masculinity. they really like music and their alone time. food is also important to them!
💋mercury in scorpio-these people may not be of too many words unless they feel comfortable with you and even then, they are not yappers (in my experience). they observe people to form strong impressions. they are not the biggest fans of confrontation because they know things could get out of hand, so if they decide to fight with you, you must have pressed all the wrong buttons; especially if you hurt someone they love. they are honest and they like to get straight to the point. they talk with passion regarding the things they like. many of them really like gossip and their tendency to form strong first impressions can be impulsive and incorrect at times, so they need to be a bit more open-minded and patient with people. they are true skeptics sometimes because they need to believe in something 100% before acknowledging it. they also like taboo/darker topics. they are interested in the human nature and value truth even when it is uncomfortable and painful. they know how to read between the lines and figure out the true meaning of someone's words, so they are not easily fooled. they are not interested in small talk, in fact it drains them. i think journaling is amazing for all signs, but scorpios could benefit from it especially. basically, any outlet that lets them express their emotions and creativity without shame or fear, is good for them. it can be hard to compromise with them sometimes, and they need to work on that.
💋venus in scorpio-they want partners they can trust wholeheartedly. they may get entangled in some affairs because of their passionate nature and a deep desire for love. when they find the right person for them, they are dedicated, loyal and borderline obsessed haha. their partner becomes a part of them. i've seen some people write that scorpios can cheat their partners if they meet someone who provides the passion that is otherwise lacking in their relationship. i think anyone can cheat, so i don't have the need to comment on that. they probably had some karmic relationships in their life that taught them, the hard way, the kind of partner that's actually good for them. they are not afraid of seeing their loved one's dark sides. in fact, that just brings them even closer because they feel like they got to know them properly and they feel less ashamed of their own darker characteristics. these people are really sensual and they make their partners feel desired and wanted. truly not for those with weaker hearts. once again, they can be stubborn so they need a patient partner with a strong character. they need someone who will be a safe haven for them; someone intuitive, kind, honest, responsible, and well-tempered. they want a healthy relationship, the kind that feels like true love. people who value their freedom and alone time a lottt are not the best match for them, as well as those who lack empathy and healthy communication. in regards to their style i think it is more varied than people may think. people always say that they are romantic but i think this depends on the rest of their chart althoough in general, they are.
💋mars in scorpio-these people are very intense. they can be stubborn and they dislike obeying authority. if they think they're right about things, they can find it difficult to consider other perspectives. they put their heart into everything they do and they dislike doing anything half-heartedly. once they lose interest in something, it is hard to get right back to it, which is why they tend to excel in things that interest them, while performing more on the average side on things that don't matter to them/make sense. they are strong-willed and no matter the obstacles and the dark periods in their life, they persevere and learn from every experience. i've written once that they tend to be either hypersexual or on the asexual spectrum, haven't noticed anything in between much (and i still stand by it). when they get angry they feel consumed by it, and the feeling can stay with them for a while. that can be really tiring. they want to resolve things immediately but they feel blinded by their emotions so they usually have to wait to cool off and think about things before giving a healthy response. they can say hurtful things and hold grudges for a long time. i feel like they are fully aware of all the darker aspects of their personality. they can be overly protective and possessive. but, their love is deep and strong, so people feel lucky to have them in their lives. people can depend on them and trust them with anything. they like taboo topics/darker topics and they are interested in spirituality; they even find comfort in it.
💋saturn in scorpio-i don't know anyone with this placement but i've heard a couple of things along the years. it is no secret that these people are afraid of intimacy and exploring their emotions. they are afraid of being too much and saying the wrong thing, which gets in the way of their personal and even professional life. they can be stubborn, secretive, and quick to judge. they are scared of relying on others so they deal with things alone. life has not treated them kindly and they underwent many transformations. they are strong individuals who can overcome any obstacles and they are very careful and observant. they don't rush into things and they are quite smart. their emotions and intuition provide a rich inner life and a big and loving heart that just needs to give people a chance more. they understand others because of everything they've been through and they can be someone's rock in difficult times. people naturally respect them and listen what they have to say attentively. i've read that they are often responsible with their finances and other reponsibilities. once they decide to work on themselves, a bright future awaits because they will realise their strength and invite wonderful people into their lives.
💋jupiter in scorpio-these people do anything their heart desires even when scared. they are careful, smart, passionate, and loving. they have most luck when they welcome change in their lives. that's when they grow as people and find many good things and people on the way. they use their intense emotions as a tool that guides them toward the truth, which is why they often make the right decisions and trust the right kind of people. they are magnetic and attractive. their wilpower is amazing and they have a great intuition. a lot of them are interested in spirituality and astrology. tarot may be something they are interested too. they have the ability to use their strengths for a good cause or for their selfish gains. this depends on them entirely. life can test them more than others which might seem unfair, which can lead someone toward a path of distrust and manipulation, or courage and honesty (and love, obviously). despite it all, some of them can be victims of manipulation (through media or the ones closest to them). people may learn what makes them tick and what they love and adapt accordingly, only to fulfil their malicious plans for them. i know someone with this placement who uses their intensity to get what they want and it can be morally troubling at times (e.g. using fear and power). they need to nourish their confidence and relationships with others in order to keep growing. nevertheless, they are interesting people you can't seem to forget
ïżœïżœïżœThank you for reading dear! A little disclaimer: I am not a professional!♡
©rosesnbooks
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kinardsevan · 3 months ago
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i've kinda kept my mouth shut (outside of the group chat, that is) on Buck's attitude and behavior in 809 on purpose. as a neurodivergent who has certain opinions in the face of Buck and Eddie's relationship that others have already pointed out (Buck's unending loyalty and willing to give while Eddie continues to take without thanks), there's something to be said about having abandonment issues and complex trauma that is being compounded all at once without any reprieve. so i'm gonna spell some shit out.
let's start right at 801, when we literally started the season with Buck running to the roof of the firehouse and his coworkers friends telling him not to jump, but also compounding that statement not with "because we care about you" but instead "because we'd have to clean you off the sidewalk". there's been discussion in the fandom before about Evan's passive suicidality and all that plays into that, but it's an important launching point for where we're at now, as far as I'm concerned.
then you get into the meat of the season. it's never exactly easy for him: first there's Gerrard and the complications of that relationship, then there's the issues of the boils/his health, then the breakup. then we waltz right into Eddie announcing he's leaving town to go be with his son, and suddenly we're arriving at a point in time that, in terms of "time" on the show, is probably only about a yearish out from him surviving being struck by lightning. that's also a major trauma to deal with, that we didn't really ever see fully resolved, and now we're about to add the kidnapping of his sister (and the possibility, however remote, that she miscarries due to her kidnapping? this has just been suggested in the group chat, but anything is possible).
i've seen the commentary that he needs to get over himself, that he was selfish for what he did to Eddie, that he needs therapy, etc. but here's the thing:
you can do decades of therapy and still be emotionally dysregulated in times of heightened stress. let's also add that in the midst of everything that was changing in Evan's life over the past year(ish), his one constant that he could rely on, was the relationship he was in. it was a relationship that--as many have pointed out--was the first time he was put first, was treated as though his feelings mattered, and he (as I assume we'll see come to pass canonically) likely felt seen. Tommy didn't pander to him, but he also didn't shut Evan's feelings down. I imagine in the face of dealing with Gerrard, his disloated shoulder (and the boils), Bobby's NDE and subsequent shift from being in charge the 118, Tommy was a stabilizing force for him. he got to go home and have someone who cared to hear about his ails.
so here we are months later, when all of his friends are back on even ground from the shit they all were going through previously (which he showed up for each and every one of them with, by the way), and he's sinking. he's struggling against the current of loss, after loss, after loss. and i'm sure somewhere in there (as someone who hsa gone to therapy), that for a while, he told himself to just go parallel to the current, and eventually he'd make it out. but I think we're also seeing at this point that he's caught up in a riptide. we know he's not doing okay losing Tommy ("I don't feel anywhere near recovered"/"I almost relapsed, I almost called Tommy"/"don't go leaving your people, you don't know how hard it is for them without you"), and now his best friend (who he's bent over backwards for many times in the last seven years, even in the face of being told he's exhausting and selfish) is leaving town. something that's baffling to me in the midst of Eddie's choice to leave too, is this: it's supposed to be a noble choice. he's supposed to be after this big pursuit to fix things with Chris and be a part of his life, and all that comes with that. I can understand not mentioning anything until he'd secured a place to live, however, once he had....why wasn't there a talk with Bobby, at the very least? why keep the secret of "i'm still figuring out how to leave here". wouldn't by the very nature of the fact that you're planning to leave and not return, you want to make that transition as smooth as possible??? wouldn't it make more sense to clue your friends in that you need a subletter, that your job will be vacant soon and your team is going to need someone to step in and fill that slot? it's not like these people are going to call down to El Paso and tell your family that you're on your way. and ALL of this is long before we get into the discussion of how he tells potential subletters that he has no ties to LA and that the real opportunities are in Texas. sure, we can continue to make the argument that Eddie didn't know Evan could hear what he was saying, and that he likely was only thinking of the future move at the time....
but also, as someone who can relate to the RSD, to the complex trauma and abandonment issues...it's NOT about that. Evan's reaction to Eddie's statement makes total sense to me because time and time again, I have voiced a need that sometimes, in the depths of feeling like I'm drowning in the deep waters, all I've ever wanted (and all I can assume Evan wants), is a little fucking recognition. he's not asking for Eddie to stay, and he states as much. he's not even asking for his people to put him first. all he's asking for is for his pain to be seen and recognized. to feel as though the people he loves, who bends over backwards to keep happy and from leaving, recognize when he's in pain. and yet.
it's why i have such a strong belief about where this story is going in terms of his mental health. you can only continue to lose, lose, lose so much, and sink under the weight of all of that before something breaks. and we can have arguments about how he needs more therapy, or how he needs to grow up, or this and that... but at the end of the day, you can do all of those things and still end up in the position he is. I made the argumentt to the group chat the other night that even under the contention that I'm likely more emotionally mature than Buck is, I'd still (and in fact have) reacted in similar ways to how he did. it's very easy to sit back and point fingers until you're faced with the same situation and all you're looking for is a little support, and everyone keeps shutting you down.
it's why my bucketlist hopes for the rest of the season see him going to the lengths of choosing selfishness if when he and Tommy get back together. it's that same vein that has me wanting to see a parallel to Maddie's s4 ending for him with his mental health, except I want Tommy telling him that they'll figure it out together. I want him finally getting to have someone in his corner when all the chips are down. obviously time will only tell if we get that, but we'll see.
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nightmare-foundation · 6 months ago
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Honestly, it always really, really confuses me when people say that Bruce isn't abusive, he "just has a complicated/complex dynamic with xyz", before proceeding to list things that are very much abuse.
Like, it makes... no sense to me? I feel like people hear "Bruce is abusive" and immediately jump to the conclusion that we're saying "Bruce is maliciously/intentionally hurting his kids and he can't he changed". When that's not what anyone is saying- at least not me.
And i feel like trying to insist Bruce isn't abusive while waving around these very abusive moments is. Dangerous? Like it's fine if you don't like or disagree with the concept of Bruce being abusive, more power to you and all that, but I feel like it's very blatant abuse apologia to push these things as not abusive.
People have a very weird view on abuse imo. Abuse isn't as clear cut or black and white as a lot of people make it out to be. Abusers can very much love their kids, they can accidentally harm their kids, and abusers can change.
Imo, what makes Bruce's relationship with his kids/Robins so complex IS his abusive tendencies. We know the reasons behind his actions, as well as his motivations, but at the end of the day, he's still abusive. He still emotionally neglected/abused and parentified Dick (and still hit and beat the shit out of him in Nightwing v3 #30, no matter how much nuance you put into it), he also emotionally neglected Jason, verbally abused Stephanie (iirc, i haven't read her Robin run), parentified and emotionally neglected Tim, and verbally abused and emotionally neglected Damian. None of this was done with the intention to hurt them, but Bruce still hurt them. But Bruce loves them DEEPLY- that's part of why he ends up hurting them.
That's... what makes his relationship with them so complex, especially Dick.
And honestly I'm not even sure how to go into how people label clear abuse as not abusive, purely because we know how Bruce thinks and why he does what he does. As I said, really dangerous thing to perpetuate.
This post is probably very scattered and doesn't make a whole lot of sense since I couldn't sleep at all last night, but TL;DR: you can disagree with abusive Bruce, but labeling his canon abusive tendencies as not abuse and only as a 'complex relationship' isn't the win you think it is and only comes off as abuse apologia.
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averycutesalamander · 6 months ago
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pls write yan!boothill OMG WHO SAID THAT
ohoho....!! i must confess that im quite picky when it comes to yandere content, bc i don't particularly like the extreme end of the spectrum. physical violence and straight noncon in particular don't click for me (absolutely no shade to people who like that tho, you do you!!) buuuuuuut ..... i mean, im the one writing?? so i can do whatever i want??? so alright here you go :) also check my reblog for.. a lot of rambling lmao
may i present to you: my interpretation of boothill in love, but he has a few too many screws loose. warning for relatively vague descriptions of violence and, uh... yandere stuff. you know how it goes.
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In all honesty, Boothill is not a "love at first sight" type. His attraction to you is a gradual, budding thing, built over many repeated encounters. He's emotionally isolated himself, after all - built a wall thick enough to muffle the whispers of his past, smothering it in a slurry of rage and sorrow. It'll take time for him to let down his guard for long enough to even register the feelings you conjure in him - a flutter in his chest every time you smile at him, a spark of joy every time he makes you laugh, a strike of fondness every time he looks at your pretty face when you aren't paying attention.
And beneath it all, a low, simmering greed, a hunger, a yearning; the urge to bite and devour and never let go.
The pressure builds with time, as the two of you grow closer. He visits often, though not so often that it would catch the IPC's attention. You laugh and joke and tease, playfully flirting with him yet keeping a healthy, platonic distance. (He very pointedly and stubbornly ignores the way his heart soars when you look at him like that - like you want to pull him into your bed and let him take you apart, piece by ruinous piece. It's just harmless fun, after all.)
(Right?)
Despite the yawning fractures in the wall he's created, despite the increasing complexity of his feelings for about you, he still hasn't untangled whatever complicated web of feelings that's arisen around you, content to leave himself oblivious for the time being - until you make a joke about him marrying you and sweeping you away on some bizarre galactic adventure, and he damn-near bluescreens.
(He hates, hates, hates that the first thing he feels is something adjacent to the feeling a cat gets when it finally corners a particularly unruly mouse, akin to the thrill he gets whenever an enemy exposes a weakness. A sick, twisted kind of satisfaction.)
His mind churns as the wall cracks, wavers-
...and crumbles.
He panics. He makes a flimsy excuse about getting a notification through his neurochip, about needing to help out a fellow ranger - and he feels even better worse when you believe him unhesitatingly, sending him off with a sweet little "Be safe!" just as you always do.
It's only after he leaves the planet that he thinks about how much you've grown to trust him, about how damn gullible you are, about how often you give him the benefit of the doubt, about how kindly you've always treated him in spite of (or perhaps because of) his dozens of strange quirks. Everything unravels, threads spilling from his fraying mind and spilling between his fingers, and when the tattered fabric settles-
He simply can't deny it. He's in love with you.
It takes some time for him to piece himself back together - weeks of complete silence from him, your texts going unanswered. Every time he sees a fresh notification from you, his heart twists with guilt - but he's not ready to face the music. Not yet.
He comes crawling back to you, sooner or later. He knocks on your door with the most sheepish, guilt-ridden look on his face that you've ever seen, a rich bouquet laden with yellow roses and purple hyacinths tucked timidly in his arms. He lies about why he left - says it was all because of a mission that got more complicated than it should have, and it wasn't safe to reply to your messages - but when he tells you that he's sorry, he means it genuinely.
He's a bit disturbed by the sensation in his gut - that foul, wicked satisfaction when you accept his apology with barely a slap on the wrist, cheerily inviting him inside to catch up. You tuck the flowers neatly into a vase, chatting easily with him as you carefully arrange them.
"It's alright!" you say, waving dismissively at him when he murmurs another apology. "I know you're busy. I can't be your biggest priority, obviously. You've got more important things going on."
(You don't have a clue how wrong you are.)
He integrates back into your life like he never left. When he has the time, he sneaks his way back onto your planet, knocking on your door or searching for you in your usual spots. You get impossibly closer; your playful flirting goes from blatantly humorous to something foggier, something more ambiguous, teasing the line between platonic and something heavier. He matches you step by step, returning your advances with just a little extra spice, his eyes a bit darker and his smile a bit wider.
He tries to be patient - god, does he try - but there's an itch that's bloomed beneath his metal, impossible to scratch, impossible to sate, made worse by every little joke you make about kissing him or touching him or marrying him or letting him spirit you away. The pressure builds further and further, the tension winding tighter and tighter, the anticipation bubbling higher and higher.
(He will never, ever admit that he truly contemplates stealing you away, crowding you onto a ship and carting you off so he can always keep an eye on you, can always guarantee your safety. His paranoia has been building since he recognized his feelings for you; it's taken every ounce of restraint in his body to stop himself from giving into the urge, from crowding you, from suffocating you, from locking you away like a fragile songbird in a cage.)
(He's torn between his protectiveness and his understanding that you deserve freedom. You deserve independence and a life that isn't tied directly to him. He doesn't even know if you return his feelings. But...)
(But there's that nagging feeling in the back of his head, that pestering little voice that grows louder by the day. You'll be safer with me, it says, dark and tempting, bursting behind his teeth. I can make you happy. I can keep you safe. I can show you pieces of the universe that you've never seen before. I can love you like no one else ever could. I can hold you and cherish you and consume you and-)
(He takes that little voice and wraps his hands tight around its throat, frantically trying to suffocate the noise, terrified by its allure. But it's always there, lingering, lurking - because the call is coming from inside the house.)
Something gives, eventually.
When he inevitably breaks, his lips crashing heatedly and messily into yours, there are two paths ahead - but the difference is ultimately moot, because they collide not long after.
Perhaps you reciprocate. Perhaps you melt against his lips, your arms coiling around his shoulders and drawing him further into you. Perhaps you whimper when his hands trail downward, squeezing at your hips. Perhaps you pull away with a gasp, your pupils blown wide, your heart pounding when you see the look in his eye - dark and hot and desperate and hungry. Perhaps you accept his quiet declaration of affection with open arms, returning it in full, your eyes sparkling with joy.
Or perhaps you reject him. Perhaps you freeze like a startled deer before pushing him away, your face slack with shock. Perhaps you apologize, stumbling over your words, your heart thundering in your chest when you see the look in his eye - dark and cold and empty and hungry. Perhaps you gently tell him that you don't feel that way about him - that you only see him as a friend.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
...Because Boothill - careful, meticulous Boothill - has slipped up, and the IPC finds you.
After he leaves next, whether that be with a broken heart or a giddy one, a trio of IPC employees pluck you up from the street in broad daylight, shoving you into a dark transport ship for "questioning." And once they bring you to an IPC space station, they do indeed question you - though it feels more like an interrogation, considering that you've been tied ankle-and-wrist to a chair like you're a dangerous serial killer and not a regular civilian.
"Suspected colluding with the criminal known as Boothill," your "interviewer" tells you flatly, idly thumbing at the knife in their hand. "Camera footage, reports from neighbors, records from his Synesthesia Beacon... All clearly show that he has made repeated visits to your planet and your home. We're in the business of knowing why."
Perhaps you keep your mouth shut and refuse to divulge anything, no matter how close that knife gets to your bare skin. Perhaps you break when it begins to slice into your flesh, drawing blood from your body and tears from your eyes and stuttered words from your lips. Perhaps you grit your teeth and bear it, unwilling to betray the man you've grown so fond of.
Or perhaps you cave immediately. Perhaps you sell him down the river the first chance you get, frantic explanations spilling from your lips. Perhaps you tell them that you had no idea he had such a massive bounty on his head. Perhaps you panic when they find the information insufficient and draw the knife on you anyway, deaf to your begging and pleading as they wet your skin with blood.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
...Because a distant explosion rocks the entire space station, and the flashing lights from the silent alarms interrupt your interrogation.
You're left alone when the IPC agent flees, locking the door behind them with a heavy clunk. Minutes pass as you fumble desperately with your restraints, your body pulsing with pain; a cacophony of gunshots and screaming penetrates the thick walls, growing louder and louder, your heart pounding faster and faster.
There's a noise just outside the door - a horrifically wet noise, like raw flesh on tile. You freeze like a rabbit that's just heard the panting of a starving wolf, far too close for comfort.
Silence. Your head aches from the flashing red lights.
Suddenly, steel fingers wedge into the gap between the locked door and the wall, single-handedly tearing it open and breaking the hydraulic lock with inhuman ease. Metal crunches and squeals, piercing the quiet - and there he stands, right in the doorway, a silhouette of black and red.
Never in your life have you seen him this manic.
His white hair drips with scarlet and his teeth are bared; his eyes are alight with rage, a shock of bright crimson among the dark smears of blood and viscera that coat him head to toe. In the light of the alarms, he looks like the perfect picture of a killer from a horror movie; violence and slaughter, just waiting to be unleashed. When his gaze locks onto you, there is a long moment of utter stillness; instinctual terror floods your entire body in a cold flash, because there isn't so much as a glimmer of humanity in those eyes - only pure, boiling, ravenous, frantic anger.
For a heartbeat, you're convinced he's going to rip you apart with his teeth.
Then, as if he finally registers who you are, the madness evaporates, replaced by a nearly manic sort of relief. He rushes to your side, looking you over; you don't miss the flash in his eyes - seething, smoking fire - when he spots your injuries. In the same breath, he snuffs it out, focusing instead on breaking your binds with his bare hands.
You're already crying when he takes you up into his arms, cradling you close to his chest and unwittingly smearing IPC blood onto you. "It's alright, sweetheart," he murmurs, soft and reassuring, a beacon of comfort in a sea of terror. "I'm right here. I've got ya. No one's ever gonna take ya from me again, okay?"
(Maybe if you weren't in shock, you'd be startled by his words. As it stands, though, they're like music to your ears, like a warm blanket settled over your shoulders, like a tight hug from someone you trust with your life.)
He encourages you to press your face into his shoulder - mercifully free of blood - as he carries you through the carnage he's left in his wake, the jangle of his spurs and your muffled sobs echoing through the silent halls. Your entire body shivers at the noise of him stepping into some unidentifiable slurry of viscera, and he thumbs at your back in an effort to soothe you, speaking quietly into your ear about everything and nothing.
Time passes in a blur of tears. He takes you to the ship he, uh... commandeered to get here, ducking into the bathroom and settling you gently - so very gently - onto the floor. Or, rather, he tries to - because your fingers are frozen stiff in his jacket, your grip unrelenting.
"You just wait here for a sec, alright?" he whispers softly, the chill of his hand settling lightly against your wrist; the blood there still feels warm to your delirious mind. "Gotta get the autopilot started, okay? I'll be right back."
You're both surprised when you shake your head insistently, your eyes wet and pleading. In an instant, he softens, his heart aching in his chest.
"Alright, sweetpea," he breathes, carefully picking you up again. "I've got ya."
He keeps you cradled to his chest as he walks to the cockpit, holding you easily with one arm as he gets the ship moving. Reinforcements are on the way, no doubt - but you'll both be long gone by the time they get here.
(Maybe the IPC will get the message when they find the scene he's left behind - when they view the camera footage and see the rampage he went on. Decapitation and disembowelment is a new one, even for him...)
(...but he needed to make it clear that no one, no one, touches what's his and gets away with it.)
When the engine is purring beneath his feet and the rumble of FTL travel is humming in the walls, he brings you back to the washroom and settles you to the tile again, gently untangling your grip from his jacket. You're in shock, he's sure, so he's careful to continue talking to you as he wets a towel with warm water, murmuring soft reassurances as he wipes the blood from your skin, handling you like you're glass.
Once you're clean, he messily towels himself off to get the worst of the mess off, then brings you to the captain's quarters, digging around in the closet to find something comfortable for you. Your shaking fingers cause you trouble, so he gently eases your ruined clothes off, his eyes respectfully averted as he helps you redress. He takes one look at the messy, used bedding and promptly decides to change the sheets. (Something within him stirs and snarls at the thought of you smelling like anyone else.)
Finally, when all is said and done, he eases you beneath the covers, brushing away the last remnants of your tears. His heart is torn between singing with joy and aching with pain when you reach up and take his hand in yours, your fingers wrapping tight around his.
"Gotta go wash up, honey," he murmurs, watching you closely as you sink into the protective huddle of the blankets, exhaustion painting your features. "That alright? I'll be fast."
(He tries very hard to ignore the flutter in his chest from the look in your eye - like you're genuinely considering whether or not you need to stay near him, like you aren't sure if you can bear the distance.)
(He also tries very hard to ignore the little pang of disappointment when you slowly nod, releasing his hand.)
He cleans himself up with record efficiency, resigning himself to wearing clothes that are a size or two too small until he can wash his usual outfit. The clothes are for your sake, really; it's not like he has any, uh... equipment to expose - not yet - but he's relatively sure that it would make you uncomfortable anyway.
By the time he steps lightly into the room again, you're asleep.
For a long, long moment, he's struck stupid by the sight of you, by the softness of your face in rest.
Fuck, you're beautiful. He knows it in his heart, feels it in his core, senses it in his chest - you're the prettiest little thing he's ever seen.
(And you're all his, now.)
His fists clench, and he swallows down the thought like bitter poison. (You deserve better than this - better than him. He's a broken man, he knows - a messy reconfiguration of a thousand corpses, glued together by hatred and grief. He could never love you the way you deserve. He could never-)
He's broken from his rapidly spiraling thoughts when you twitch, a tiny furrow appearing in your brow. A surge of emotion nearly bursts in his chest - the urge to comfort, to protect, to soothe - and he slowly circles to the other side of the bed, climbing into the empty space and settling beneath the blankets. Hesitantly, he wraps one arm lightly around your waist, drawing you against him with your back pressed tight to his chest.
His heart soars when he feels you instantly relax, the tension fleeing your body.
(It's fine. This is fine. He'll make everything better. No matter what he has to do, who he has to kill, he'll make everything better.)
A handful of days pass like that. When he stops by a market to get supplies for you, he gently tells you that it's best for you to stay in the ship for now; odds are that you actually have a bounty on your head as well, now.
(He's not wrong - but he also doesn't need to disable the button on the inside of the ship that opens the exit hatch. You don't need to know that; he doesn't need to acknowledge that.)
As time passes, he tries not to suffocate you, tries not to hover, wary of putting you under any more stress - but it's ultimately a useless task.
When you finally, tentatively ask him about going home, his brain goes numb, the world snapping into sharp focus. He turns his gaze to you, disturbingly absent of emotion.
"It ain't safe for ya there, now that those IPC dogs know to look for ya," he says, his voice far too even.
When tears begin to bud in your eyes, it finally sweeps up some sympathy in his chest, his entire face softening. He takes your shaking hands in his, tenderly grazing your knuckles with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he rasps, reaching up to wipe away your tears.
(He's barely sorry.)
"I don't like it either, but..."
(Yes, he does.)
"It's safest for ya to stick with me, alright?"
(Wishful thinking. He could find somewhere for you to stay - some quiet planet outside of the IPC's reach, where you could live without worry. He could send you credits regularly. He could make sure you were happy and secure, independent of him.)
(He could. He should.)
(He won't.)
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shawtylex09 · 4 months ago
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⋆˙⟡Looking. Shota Aizawa x Art Teacher!Fem!Reader.⟡⋆˙
⋆.˚✼Valentine’s Day story 2/14✼˚.⋆
Warnings; swearing, pining, stupidly silly interactions and Mic’s wingman-ness.
Masterlist
Enjoy babes ✧˖°.
🌾
â‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.Ëšâ‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.Ëšâ‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.Ëšâ‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.˚
Shota walked into the teachers lounge, his tired eyes scanning the room, gazing upon the computers and a few of his colleagues chatting amongst each other. He sighed tiredly and walked to the counter, pouring himself a steaming hot cup of coffee.
He brought the hot cup to his lips and took a slow sip, enjoying the bitter taste of the black liquid on his tongue. He knew most people preferred coffee with either sugar or cream in it, but he was content to drink black coffee. It was simple.
That was the thing about it, it was plain, easy. It wasn’t complex with layers that could add unnecessary components to something that didn’t need to be complicated.
Shota admired the simpler things in life, opting for a minimalistic lifestyle. His apartment was pretty barren, aside from the records he had on a shelf with his record player, and the few pictures of Hizashi and Shirakumo he had on his walls.
He wasn’t one for complicated feelings, and opted out of them if he could. However, there was one thing he couldn’t pick the simple route with.
Shota dragged his tired eyes from his coffee, to Hizashi, seeing him laughing and talking with a certain someone.
A huff escaped the man through his nose as he felt a small heat crawl up to his ears. This was the one thing he couldn’t seem to make simple.
This new school year, a new teacher joined the teaching staff, along with All Might. She was beautiful, with a keen eye for art and detail.
This new teacher was soft spoken, considerate, and made his cold heart feel warm. He scoffed as he heard soft laughter at one of Hizashi’s horrible jokes, glancing up to see you speaking with him, covering your mouth.
He furrowed his brows, a small twinge of something along the lines of longing pulling at his heart strings. Damn him and his feelings.
Shota looked down at his coffee, seeing his reflection staring back at him. His tired eyes, shaggy hair, the scar under his right eye and his ungroomed face. He shouldn’t get wrapped up in someone- someone who wouldn’t look his way.
What Aizawa was unaware of, was the soft and tender gazes you shot his way. You were always looking at him, even if he wasn’t aware.
You glanced over at him and smiled softly, feeling a warm flutter in your chest, and a gentle heat rise to your cheeks.
Hizashi followed your gaze and grinned “Pretty interested in the coffee maker over there?” He asked, elbowing you with a smirk, his grin growing as you blushed a bit harder.
“Something like that” you said softly, your eyes still resting on the man enjoying his coffee, his eyes closing as he tilted his head back and sipped from his cup, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he drank down the hot coffee.
Hizashi clicked his tongue and sighed exasperatedly “you’re really looking at Shota, you got a crush on him or something?” He asked, raising a brow and crossing his arms, leaning closer to you as he also gazed at Aizawa.
You hummed and looked down, tucking your hair behind your ear “please, we’re not kids, Hizashi, crush is a strong word. More like..I find him endearing.”
Hizashi chuckled and turned his attention from his his high school best friend, to you, giving you a sympathetic smile “you know he’s the most emotionally closed off and emotionally constipated man on the planet, right?”
You simply blushed and rubbed the back of your neck, looking away from him with sligjtly puffed cheeks. He was taking your affectionate gazes rhetorical entirely wrong way! You weren’t expecting a relationship with Aizawa! You barely spoke to the guy!
It wasn’t like you had dreamt about how softly Shota would tuck your hair behind your ear, gently caressing your cheek with his calloused hand and murmuring softly to you with his heavenly voice, telling you how beautiful you were.
Noooo no no, that wasn’t it at all!
.right?
You sighed and chewed on your cheek, thinking before hesitantly replying to Hizashi, “yeah..I’ve picked that up from him.” Was all you could say. You knew it was true, Aizawa wasn’t an open book when it came to anything. You knew little to nothing about the man, but that couldn’t stop your heart from yearning for his touch and delicate voice.
Hizashi smiled a little and sighed, patting your shoulder “There there, Y/n, it’s not like you’re totally hopeless! He is human, after all, so you’ve definitely got a chance to win him over!” He said with his cheery tone, almost making you forget about your conflicting feelings.
You offered a small smile to the man as he threw an arm around your shoulder, grinning back at you. “Thanks, Yamada, but I’m not expecting some crazy relationship or expecting him to open up his emotions with me. I’m sure these silly feelings will go away.”
Hizashi felt his smile falter, before he huffed. In all honesty, he’d been hoping your resolve was stronger than that, he didn’t want you to give up on his best friend! Even if his friend barely knew how to express his emotions, he was a very interesting and intelligent guy!
Hizashi let his arm fall from your shoulder and crossed them, leaning closer to you “Y/n, listen to me. Once you get to know Shota, he can be one of the -genuinely- most considerate and supportive guys I know. He gave me the drive I needed to finally start my dream of running a radio show, so trust me, he’s a great guy under the stoic facade he puts up.”
You felt your heart thump in your chest, a soft blush creeping up your cheeks. Aizawa did seem like the supportive type.
You rubbed your arm and glanced at the man, who’d migrated to his desk, grabbing some things and sifting through his folders. Did you really have a chance? Would he bat an eye at you? Would he reject you?
These thoughts swarmed your head as you gazed at him. However, your eyes caught the sight of a package of caramel hard candies sitting on his desk, Aizawa reaching into the pack and pulling one out, popping it into his mouth as he stood.
You furrowed your brows before an idea came to your mind. A smile formed on your lips and you glanced to Hizashi “I think..I think I’ll try and maybe get a bit closer to him, try and figure him out a bit before I jump into asking him out or anything like that.
Hizashi visibly brightened and grinned “wait actually? That’s awesome! Shota really needs someone to understand him and look out for him. He deserves it, you know?”
You nodded and glanced at Aizawa as he walked past you. You caught a whiff of his cologne and smiled, your knees feeling weak. “Yeah..I get what you mean” you mumbled, a stupid, small smile gracing your lips. Were you were really gonna try and get closer with someone as prickly as Shota Aizawa?
Yes.
Yes you were.
â‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.Ëšâ‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.Ëšâ‹†Ëšâ˜†Ë–Â°â‹†ïœĄÂ° ✼˖ àŁȘ âŠč⋆.˚⋆˚☆˖
Part 2
Thanks so so so much for reading! This is my first Aizawa one shot, and I’m thinking about making it a part two, soooo maybe there’ll be more! Anyways, have a wonderful night my beautiful people!
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scliffe · 4 months ago
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I know most of us (including me) laughed (quite a lot) on this scene because; Earl Ciel “Sebastian-Kill-Them-All” Phantomhive of all people, is saying something like this about killing people? It sounds so fake and ridiculous right? Hypocritical, even. But I also think it’s rather empathetic of Ciel to say this in front of the Weston boys because he understands that these boys did not murder out of evil intent; it was a crime of passion, not premeditated. I’m sure that in Ciel’s eyes, these upperclassmen of his are still much more innocent than he is—and so when he speaks to them, he is speaking to “normal people”, not serial murderers. But while Ciel does not see the prefects as evil people, he doesn’t infantilize them either. He does not empathize with them trying to justify their actions; because things like school values or reputation is not a worthy cause for these boys to kill someone over. At the same time Ciel may not personally care about the lives of Derrick Arden and the others, but he does not think students should turn into murderers over such menial issues.
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In comparison, when he speaks to Joker in BOC, he was unfiltered and candid—he’s speaking of something he personally believes; that deep cynicism and distrust in humanity. Unlike the Weston students, Joker’s actions were premeditated; he planned to kidnap children—knowing they would be abused and turned into some sick plaything before brutally murdered—and methodically eliminated witnesses to avoid getting caught. Joker knew exactly what he was doing when he organized these crimes to sacrifice others for his family’s lives. And yet the way Ciel spoke, he wasn’t passing judgement on Joker at all; he acutely understood the despair of facing injustice with no one lending a helping hand; the desperate wish to protect one’s family and loved ones above what’s considered to be morally correct by society; he knows better than anyone else how hell is paved with good intentions. This too, was incredibly empathetic in a strange way that only Ciel could be. Although Joker lamented their fate as abandoned orphans living in an apathetic society, Ciel does not pity them and thus did not simply reduce them to gullible victims of their circumstances. He did not justify Joker’s actions, and he did not justify his own actions in killing Joker and the circus crew either—he was incredibly self aware and fair; equally as ruthless to other people as with himself. He understood that everyone acted in their own interests. By removing complicated principles of morality out of the equation, he is able to see things clearly and act decisively without ridiculous notions of human morality. After all, what use does he have for it when his soul is already damned anyway?
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Ciel keeps away from people and refrains from making personal attachments; and yet he is still very empathetic to each of them without even meaning to. In the flashbacks, he was also depicted to be a sensitive and kindhearted child. Despite everything he has gone through, he still retains a bit of that gentleness and sincerity from his childhood; which I think comes with being naturally emotionally intelligent—he has an unusually acute insight on people which certainly helps his business acumen, and ironically also helps him know how to lie and act in front of other people. While Sebastian is a “master of understanding human desires”, Ciel understands the complexity and most basic nature of humanity better than anyone else; which forms both his cynicism and his own brand of empathy.
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peachkkuma · 1 year ago
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ᰍ֎ ۫͟ ͟ ☁ ֮✧ 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄
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hello, I’m Tiffany and this is my manifestation diary! If you haven’t read my previous diary entries yet, recently I’ve come to the realization that I’ve overcome all of my obstacles and there truly is nothing in my way except for me. So I made the decision yesterday to put my foot down and take the leap of faith, in other words, stop putting off manifesting my dream life because of fear. now this account will hold not just my diary entries but also the documentation of my journey to finally and seriously manifest my dream life.
╰┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄ ♡ ♡ ♡ 05.21.2024
let’s begin!
ă…€ă…€ă…€đˆ. ⊰ Û« đŸ»â€â„ïž ◌ ÖŽ à©­ ˑ DEFINING THE OBJECTIVE
I want to make the end goal a bit more clear, the term dream life is both pretty straightforward and a bit vague. what would I like my dream life to include? how would my dream life make me feel? and ofc, I’m not just manifesting my dream life, I’m manifesting my dream self. what would my self concept be? how would I like to be?
tiffany’s dream life check list - what it means to live my dream life
attend my dream school
be 100% perfectly healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, in every way basically)
have good eating habits and a good relationship with food
have perfect straight A pluses (revision to previous grades as well)
have the perfect friend group for me
healthy, super soft, hydrated, moisturized, smooth clear skin (and elimination of acne genes) (body + face)
perfect tangle free hair at all times, pretty, voluminous, bombshell hair
a healthy, perfect, loving relationship with everyone in my family
own a super cute and fluffy golden retriever puppy
high paying jobs for my parents <3
have a rolls royce with a pink exterior
grow taller
have every single clothing item I’ve saved on Pinterest
have my YouTube channel blow up
complete head to toe desired appearance
desired lifestyle
perfect eyesight
be super good at makeup and have all desired products
have a gorgeous bedroom
have a very active and lively social life
have the perfect, most ideal school, social, and home life
completely healed phone addiction
have a lot of desired hobbies that I’m very good at
have a fun and eventful life, always have fun plans and something going on
be on the right track career-wise
elimination of social anxiety and shyness
high self esteem and confidence
be more in touch with my culture
be a complete master at manifestation
huh, this is shorter and less serious than I thought it’d be, ig this was also a way of getting out of my own head. I thought manifesting my dream life would be a bit challenging for some reason, but ig a dream life rlly isn’t as complex as I thought it was. I mean now I feel silly, it’s just a dream life! nothing more than a lifestyle and a few personal fixes. I feel like I just got humbled.
𝐈𝐈. ʚ âŠč ÖŽâČ 𑁯͟ ɞ THE OUTLINE
alright, I know what I want and I know how manifestation works. but just to make sure I don’t over complicate anything or things dont get confusing, I’ll create a sort of plan or outline. Little steps I can fall back on if I get a bit lost.
step number one we have covered, have a desire
step number two, put your foot down and make the firm decision that you have it. this decision is for good, nothing u do can take this decision away so don’t u dare worry about “ruining progress” or “messing up”— u’re better than that.
step number three, once you’ve decided it’s done, it’s done. the only and I mean it when I say only thing for you to do is to act like it. imagine you, the creator of your reality, making the decision that you have something only to then be like “is it coming?” “do I have it?” BE FR!! act like you have it, think like you have it, and see the world as if you have it— because you do. you decided you did, didn’t u? It’s ur reality, what u say, goes. and no, you’re not acting like u have it to get something out of the 3D, you’re doing it for your sanity. Because you deserve a break, you deserve relief, you deserve to be the you that has it all!! let yourself be in the sowf because why shouldn’t u be certain you have it? don’t entertain anything that says u don’t. getting in the sowf is easy, u deciding u have it is all the confirmation u need. there’s no reason for u to not be certain u have it.
sowf = knowing that u have it
step number four, optional not necessary but it’s really gonna help and is fun. immerse yourself in the new story. experience it!! have fun!! u finally got what u want, u finally r who u want to be, so choose to live that life!! try methods for the sake of fulfilling urself (never to make anything appear in the 3D, u know better, 3D desperation doesn’t get anybody anywhere.) try out methods to have fun and be more familiar with having what u want.
that’s it girl, that’s all u gotta do, that’s all u ever had to do. decide it, experience it, assume it. u don’t always have to feel “good” or “happy” u just have to know u have what u want, u just have to assume. the goal is to truly know that u have it, to be faced with the 3D and still know it in ur bones u have what u want. u deserve to trust urself like that, u deserve to be fulfilled like that, and u deserve those things from YOU not from the 3D. U deserve to feel secure in urself, don’t let ur security come from the 3D. loa bloggers mean it when they say the materialization is simply the cherry on top and I get that now. For me, it’s about being able to depend and trust urself, to rely on urself, and in that way everything else comes off the pedestal.
✉ : ahhh I forgot to finish up this post yesterday but here it is!! I’m so excited!! part two to come soon ♡
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