#and got platonic relationships mixed up with romantic

[sammydem0n64]

Tbh fellas my identity has reached a point of true “idgaf” (it has been like this for months actually. Lolz.) Thinking abt it gives me brainrot. Pronouns? Idc call me whatever. Gender? I am not a man that’s all I got. Sexuality? Idk. I don’t wanna date people tho!!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna find myself!!!!!!!!!!!! I am Aaliyah sammydem0n64 and I am autistic and that’s it‼️‼️‼️‼️

[ferretwhomst]

alright guys. poll time

just wanted to ask because from what i can tell the gf fandom doesn't really seem to have a general fandom-wide consensus on this ship. rbs would be appreciated!!! also feel free to elaborate in the tags which option you chose and why! i'd love to hear people's reasoning :-)

[candied-cae]

I am so sad that it seems like they're really done with Teal Oranges. Honestly, that's one of the biggest weak points of this season so far.

Season 1 ended not just with Stede and Ed separated, but notably with Oluwande and Jim and Pete and Lucius torn apart. That was something so many of us were so eager to see fixed, we wanted all those couples reunited as they are the two relationships that takes a supporting role right behind Gentlebeard and is able to exemplify the easier and more simple or stable nature of the couples who stay out of the main pairing's drama.

And with the introduction of Zheng Yi Sao and Archie, I like the characters. They're pretty fun, Zheng is so smart and tactful and Archie is so comedic and earnest. Between the two, Archie def needs more building, but I did find the Oluwande and Zheng romance to be genuinely compelling. But only if I wasn't thinking about Jim.

It just feels so sudden to have Jim and Oluwande be done with each other (romantically) considering they were definitely still a couple at the end of the season and it only seems like it's been a couple months since they last saw each other.

Had they just been best friends who ended up hooking up and were probably going to decide they worked better as friends, I would be way more on board and down for these new couples! But it felt like they were pretty clearly written as a serious relationship that we'd see stick together through the end.

And the entirety of us getting closure on their relationship is just- "I've missed you." "I kissed someone." "Okay then." "I also saw her boobs." "Cool, I guess, but I think that's tmi."

And my bestie pointed out, though Olu def seemed to be flirting back with Zheng, he didn't take things to kissing until after hearing that Jim was already kissing someone else. And when Zheng asks him, Oluwande doesn't say yes or no on if he and Jim are over. He dodges the question and just says they're his best friend and family. Which would usually be a kind of line used to mean he was still planning to be with Jim and didn't want to lie, but still wanted to kiss Zheng in the moment so he omitted the reality with a little half-truth.

Which usually would keep my hopes up about a possible polycule (I'm really trying to keep my hopes up about a possible polycule) but we have that article with David calling Olu and Jim exes and saying he wants to use them to represent more complex relationship structures in the queer community with exes keeping healthy friendships and- come on man.

I really don't wanna give up on Teal Oranges, but the more I rewatch and the more I think about them, the more I worry.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Oooo Vox! How about Vox with a unnaturally unlucky SO? And it's always been like that and how they died as well!

(Also calling Vox their lucky charm and how he's the most luck they ever had and needed)

Man Y/N really is unlucky landing Vox as a S/O-

I'M JOKING I LOVE THIS

Vox X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Second hand embarrassment for Y/N, Valentino being harmed

Description: ☝️⬆️

Not Y/N accidentally getting placed in Hell because of some unlucky mix up-

When you first told Vox you were unlucky, he didn't really believe you and just thought you were being dramatic

And sure you've had a few bad luck incidents that he's seen but nothing that really stands out to him

It's not until he's in a relationship with you that he realizes you weren't fucking joking around when you said it

You really are unlucky

In just a day you've somehow managed to trip and ruin one of Velvette's outfits and completely disfigure her model

You caught Valentino's wings on fire while trying to make a sandwich and when you went to put it out you made it worse by throwing oil on him

Good

You broke four of Vox's cameras, five of his stage lights and broke his chair all while he was live

And all that doesn't even begin to cover the mayhem you caused just last week

Somehow you keep running into Alastor and that's a whole headache in itself

You stress him out so much that if he had hair it would be white and falling out of his head

But Vox will be damned if you aren't just the most precious thing in his life, you're too adorable to get rid of

No matter how much trouble you are to keep

You're so fucking adorable Vox isn't letting you go

Whenever he starts to feel himself getting irritated with you, he just looks at your apologetic face and melts

"Sorry Vox...I guess I just need to stick closer to my lucky charm next time, huh?"

Fuck he loves you

"Just-get over here and hold still!"

Keeps you in his lap because it's the only way to keep you from causing trouble with your horrible bad luck

Not at all because he loves having you close and because his heart skips a few beats when you lean into him or because you smell so perfect-

"Vox? Your screen is all hot and glitchy...are you alright?"

He's fine, babe

Honestly can't get enough of you and genuinely believes he can keep your unlucky nature at bay if he keeps you with him at all times

You managed to trip and toss a dozen fragile, expensive things into the air???

Don't worry, Vox is scrambling to catch them all in a hilariously cartoonish manner

You got lost and now Alastor is contacting him and telling Vox to come get his curse out of Alastor's hotel??

Vox will be there and won't even start a fight, the hotel has been beaten up enough by you and your bad luck as it is

He's kinda proud of you for that one tho

He can't even be mad, it's so obvious that some supernatural force is out to get you

There's no way you're just naturally this unlucky

And he can't just dump you, no matter what Valentino says, fuck him

If he dumps you then you'll be at the mercy of your unluck and nobody will be around to save you

And Vox wants to be the one who saves you, he wants you to depend on him more than anything else

Whenever he sees the grateful look on your face after he bails you out of trouble he's reminded of how much he loves you all over again

Can't resist the urge to take you into his arms and rub his face screen on you, no he won't put you down

With him around to clean up your messes, maybe he really is your good luck charm

Vox really starts to believe it

But then your bad luck strikes again and his migraine is back

Good luck charm his ass

I REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE 💗

[nunalastor]

At some point in the future, when things have settled down after the Extermination and everyone's more or less settled into the new hotel with their new housemates, Lucifer finds himself in the unfortunate position of catching feelings for Alastor.

Unfortunate because at this point in time, he's still wearing his wedding ring. Still holding out hope for reconciliation with Lilith. But he hasn't so much as heard her voice in over seven years now and maybe each of them have pursued things sexually with other people before, but he's never really sought out another relationship. He and Lilith may be separated, but it still feels like cheating.

After a few shots of liquid courage and an insightful chat with a grouchy bartender, though, Lucifer decides he's not going to put his own happiness on hold waiting for Lilith anymore. But there is at least one other person he needs to talk to.

Charlie's got mixed emotions when Lucifer talks to her about him potentially dating someone other than her mother. Of course she misses Lilith as well and, yeah, she wants her parents to be together and be happy. But after Lucifer has spent so long shutting himself away from people and being a depressed mess, she's thrilled by the prospect of him engaging with people again, on his own terms. And when she finds out it's Alastor of all people her dad is interested in? Well, she can't help but notice a distinct lack of vitriol when the two of them fight these days. It can't even reasonably be called fighting, more like banter. She knows from Rosie that Alastor's ace, but she still thinks that it's worth Lucifer's time to talk to Alastor about pursuing something romantically, platonically, whichever! Charlie gives her full support.

So Lucifer works up his courage. He asks Alastor to meet him somewhere private, somewhere they can talk about something important. And, feeling more nervous than he remembers being in thousands of years, Lucifer confesses his growing feelings for Alastor.

Alastor's like a deer in the headlights.

After a long, awkward silence, Lucifer begins to babble out an apology. No, of course Alastor doesn't feel the same, what was he thinking? He'll just go find a rock to crawl under and stay out of Alastor's way for a hundred years-

Alastor cuts him off. He's still got a weird, panicky look on his face, but he simply asks Lucifer for time to think before deciding how to answer. Lucifer feels a faint spark of hope reignite in his chest and readily agrees to Alastor's request. They part ways.

The next day Alastor is gone from the hotel. Husk and Niffty remain, but all of his possessions, the personalized changes he made to his room and select areas of the hotel with his magic, they're all gone. Charlie gets in contact with Rosie. Alastor's not with her, but she promises to let Charlie knows if she sees him.

Days pass. Weeks. Alastor hasn't shown up to any overlord meetings. Neither Zestial nor Rosie can attest to his whereabouts. Mimzy swings by once, hoping Alastor's changed his mind about sending her away. She's as shocked as anyone that Alastor's gone. Even Vox can't find him anywhere on his spydrones.

Alastor's gone from Hell, vanished without a trace.

👀

[burstinn]

Hello 👋, could I request some cod characters (perhaps Ghost, Price or Krüeger) defending a male military reader from a bunch of guys that are being homophobic to him?

Homophobes die

Warnings and Notes:

All relationships here is platonic or could potentially be seen as romantic

Krueger is somehow in the 141, just pretend he is.. Yknow.. Just pretend..

You get beaten the fuck up, your face is literally fucked up

Blatant homophobia

The only people shown is Ghost, Price, and Krueger

Being openly gay in the military is hard.

Not everyone has the same belief, but by God do they need to atleast be a little respectful.

Well, aside from some "out there" remarks about you or some men coming up to you just to ask to help them yknow take some stress off. They're not gay they swear they just needed to take it off without just jerking themselves off.

All that fun shebang, but then there's the 3rd. The people who go out of their way to just fuck with you.

They are literally the mix of the 1st and 2nd group. But make it 100 times worse, but they're favorite thing to do is more physical things.

Beating the shit out of you the chance they get. You're almost used to it now. Can't even snitch about it, they'll catch you before you do. Hell, they'll manage to spin some bullshit to make it your fault.

Which brings you toooo.. Today! The peak of Pride Month! Which you were reminded of by your good pals!

Being dragged off to a corner and beating the fucking shit out of you while congratulating you about pride month.

"It's gay month, hope your f---got ass is happy about that. This is your prize for it!"

"Maybe you were hoping to suck some dick today? No?"

Such great words really wow.

You couldn't really answer much.. Blood dripping out of your nose and pooling down to your mouth, pretty sure you lost some teeth.

Not like you can see either, brutal punches hit really hard. A black eye, a few broken bones.. Maybe your rib.

A few good kicks to the stomach. On your cock as well.

GHOST

- he heard it.

- He was looking for you and 'your pals' since you and them missed training and punishment is needed for that.

- Then he heard it

- stopping in his tracks and peering off in the corner seeing you getting beaten bloodied, black and blue.

- He needed to intervene shit look at you.

- He stepped out of the corner, grabbing the shoulder of one of the guys that was about to connect his hand to your face

- Anger courses through the guy who was about to punch turning around to see who dares grab him. Before his confidence falters seeing.. Lieutenant Ghost towering over them a fixed angered glare on them.

- "Prices office Now"

- There was no argument.. They immediately scurry off. Leaving you slumped over. Bloody, swollen.

- He turned his attention to you, carrying you in his arms.. Cradling you.

- "fuck, are you alright?" " hey! Stay awake soldier!"

- He pulls you close, running off with you in his arms. Demanding a medic.Immediately

- He leaves you to be patched up by the medics. Anger written in his face as he makes his way to Prices office.

- Price waiting on Ghost to explain what happened

- He looked like he wanted to kill them, he could've but he might get kicked out of military or arrested idk

PRICE

- He got a heads up a few minutes ago from Ghost that he was looking for you and these guy that were now in front of him.

- He did remember Ghost stalking off somewhere to find you and the dudes that were right in front of him

- He decides to not ask them and wait for Ghost instead.

- Once Ghost arrived, hearing the explanation made him seethe with frustration and disgust.. He knew you were gay but he didn't think people his soldiers no less would treat you like that

- He doesn't need to hear any more

- He discharged them immediately. Walking off with Simon to see you in medbay

- He had to make sure all his soldiers are safe

KRÜEGER

- He was walking by Price's office, He's heard a figh broke out and the person who was beat up was in the medics

- He might as well see who it was

- Just as he was about to fully pass by Price's office. He heard something..

- He stops in his tracks, leaning now against the door to listen.. And he heard everything

- His expression slowly growing darker and darker as he continues listening

- He's heard just about enough, He decides to skip seeing you.. He could comfort you later..

- I mean, You both were close but not that close. But still it's not like he can't not care about you.

- He has planned.. Something else for those men

- They went M. I. A after that, No one bothers to look. It's not the militarys problem any more..

°°°

| A Week Later|

"Hey.. Guten Tag, hey! Wake up"

.. Krueger.. He's waking you up

Furrowing your brow in annoyance before you force yourself to open your eyes..

You sit up tilting your head to look at Krüeger.

"Wie geht's?"

"OK, Mir ghet es Gut.. Danke, Krueger"

He nods, looking at your bandaged face.

"You should let 'im rest Krueger"

A deeper, more British voice comes from behind Krueger

"I'm just checking up on him"

Ghost is here too.. How nice, they took their time to see you

"Botha' you, Get back to work. Leave him alone"

And.. Price

" It's fine cap, I'm good"

"You sure? You still look messed up Don't worry we took care of them bastards, we discharged them"

Silence from Krueger.. Looking at the ground for a moment

"Ja... Yeah mmhm"

Weird.. But it's nice that these people care for you.

[noeou]

THE ART OF AVOIDANCE.

the only way to get rid of a crush is by avoiding them, at least in your mind.

includes: vil schoenheit, idia shroud, and riddle rosehearts. ( x gn!reader. )

next parts: curently unavailable.

contains: fluff! platonic to romantic. open ended for idia and vil. ooc 'cause i said so.

sincerely noe ,⠀this takes up 8 pages in google docs 0.6k words minimum (each), lhm. i'm gonna go eat now. also a quick thank you to the person that answered this, you helped me pick the other two characters <3

vil schoenheit [ pomefiore ]

the main reason you and vil got along was because you could take criticism. that and the fact that you didn't take his long and (oddly) specific 'observations' to heart, but after a while it got hard to put up with.

no, your skin didn't get weaker. it was just the fact that the person you loved (debatable) and adored (also debatable) was constantly telling you your mishaps and it's impossible for it to not get to your head.

it felt that you couldn't tell anyone about your feelings 'cause you knew you'd get met with judgement on you 'type' and get told 'but you're yn, you can take it!' if you say you can no longer take his criticisms.

"Ace, hand me the glue gun please."

But you'd always have the duo and Grim. So that's where your time went instead of chasing the around house warden that probably didn't notice your absence.

"On it!" The red head turned from his project to hand you the glue gun.

"Are you guys almost done?" Deuce asked, pausing on his as well.

Grim jumped up excitedly, "Yeppers! Look at our super cool one!"

You chuckled as your companion showed off a mini doll version of him you both knitted.

"Mine's cooler!" Ace joined, except with his doll.

Their banter was interrupted with a knock on the door. Ace visibly paled, becoming nervous as he went to get the door.

"Warden Riddle, I swear it wasn't me!" You facepalmed at the sight of your friend. He didn't even look at who was at the door before he spewed apologies.

"I'm not Riddle..."

Apparently, you didn't check either. It was your turn to panic at the sight of the very person you tried (not that is was hard) to avoid.

vil didn't mean to criticize you to the point of scaring you away. all the little details he'd point out were things, most of the time, he admired about you. it was just impossible to say. people in his life would take the smallest compliment from him and twist it to fit their fantasy of him being in love with them or something to that affect.

he knew that repeating all those observations may affect how he thought of you so he did keep a journal, expressing the little things he felt too suffocated to say.

when epel suggested he may have scared you away, he was afraid the first year was right. that's why he went to go find you, not sending rook or epel but going himself. and his worse fears may have been confirmed.

Vil had no intention of forcing you to interact with him, he just intended to give you said journal and leaving. He wanted to leave the future of your relationship to you and he'd keep his distance until the decision was made.

He was willing to share thoughts and feelings he kept between him and the pages with you, a small hope that was put out by the sound of your laughing with the Heartslabyul two.

It took a minute, a foreign hesitance, before he knocked on the door.

The sudden silence made him even more anxious. Until it was filled with apologies addressed to the Crimson Tyrant, then he was simply confused.

He scanned the room for you, meeting not your eyes but a hand covering your face. Did you know it was him? Was he making a mistake?

You looked more comfortable as well. Your uniform was messed up, your hair was down. It was as if he was looking at a much younger version of you, a look of youth that he purposely had you hide.

"I'm not Riddle..." he managed, not looking away from you.

The mixed emotions on your face didn't go unnoticed, but he had no time to try and interpret them.

"Vil." Ace bowed again, not as deeply as he was a moment prior. The blue haired one stood as well, fists clenched and tied with a look of irritation.

"I mean no harm—"

"As if!" Vil nearly screamed why your cat-like companion jumped up onto Ace's head. "All you've done is harm! It's better for all of us if you leave now."

"Grim!" You pulled him off the redhead and pulled the other away. "We should talk."

The expression of surprise on the house warden's face was mirrored by your friends, only without his relief tied in as well.

"I would like that— if only if you're comfortable."

You led him out of the twisted Heartslabyul halls. Neither of you able to look at the other as you walked.

It was strange. Suddenly the roles were reversed and Vil was the one following you. He didn't mind it completely, but the anxiety of your next move was too great for him to think clearly.

Eventually, he was forced to speak.

"I've only come to deliver this to you," he handed you a hardcover book, magic sealing it.

The moment it made contact with your skin as you took it, the magic seemingly became void and you could open it. For a moment, a childlike curiosity took over as you examined it.

"But..."

You looked up, returning to reality.

You had no idea how to react as you watched Vil's mask so tightly sewn on break before you. The emotion made him unrecognizable, in a good way. For the first time in you knowing him, the Fairest of them all became personable.

Was it really possible for a perfect person to become more perfect?

"I've decided that waiting is something I don't want to do. I feel stupid for trying to tell you in any other way than face to face… but infatuation is something I rarely encounter, and I want you to know— I want you to know I like you. Like in that way.”

idia shroud [ ignihyde ]

you tried your hardest to be patient, knowing idia’s rocky relationship with human interaction. you made sure he was taking car of himself and had neat surroundings and as he got more and more comfortable with you, he’d help you out and join ortho and you when you’d visit.

getting to know him was not, at all, an easy feat. but it was fair to say it was worth it. you ended up falling for him, no? the hard thing about that is, you fell for a side of him he kept well hidden.

you knew pulling back and away would permanently damage your relationship to a point of no return, however staying knowing the potential would break you.

“Do what you think is right, Y/n.”

You and Ortho were collecting scraps to bring back to the dorm when you broke the news to him.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt Idia—”

“As much as I care for my brother, I also care about you. If he truly is putting you through this, especially if he doesn’t know he is… I think you’d Gould put yourself first.”

It was times like this Ortho’s childlike form truly didn’t fit his maturity. You smiled at his words, nodding as your confidence grew in your decision.

“Thank you, I hope our friendship—”

Ortho used his shoes to propel him higher in the sky, high enough to pat your head. He grinned as he said, “Nothing will change between us, you’re like an older sibling to me!”

From that day forward, you continued things as they were only when Idia wasn’t around. Ortho was a big help in this, not forcing you to talk to his brother if you didn’t want, but not even he was able to predict the older’s every move.

idia knew something was up when your time on animal crossing increased as the amount he saw you decreased. you were never one to be interested in games as much as he, but he made you an account anyway and you played together sometimes.

he had a full proof plan, he'd log onto his computer like a facetime and confront you when you came to visit while he was out. however, you looked calmer, ignoring the evidence of lack of sleep in your eyes.

he decided to keep his mouth shut, watching you for a moment longer before hanging up.

Idia is not stupid, he was aware that the more time that passed would only mess up your relationship further. He needed to act quickly.

Locking himself in his room for a few days, he thought up a full proof plan to win you back but as more than friends. Double or nothing, as they say.

Staring at his hightech whiteboard, empty for hours at this point, nothing was happening. He frowned to himself, retreating to his gaming chair with an exasperated sigh escaping him.

He did as you'd do in a situation like this and logged on to animal crossing. If his assumptions were correct you wouldn't be able to log back on for a few hours now, logging onto your account he started working.

Back when you were still talking to him, you mentioned you wanted to build something that resembled the hade's underworld. You said it reminded you of something called 'Hadestown' and you showed his a few pictures so he had the idea.

So far it looked really good, he just planned on helping get you the necessary tools you need. Maybe it was the tiredness getting to him, but he made a pin, telling you it was him as well as all the things he also wanted to say.

Logging off, he went to take a nap without a second thought.

riddle rosehearts [ heartslabyul ]

the main reason you chose to distance yourself from riddle was actually because you thought he'd hate it if he found out you had feeling for him in that way. you were hoping, since it's exam week, that he'd be too busy preparing to notice you were gone and after this week your feeling will be gone and things could go back to normal.

it felt weird though, studying without him. normally study sessions would be productive, but with you carrying the team with the last two braincells… productive isn't the word i'd use.

considering how riddle is the housewarden of your bestfriends, you had to take them in when your plan started. while you trusted them to keep your secret, ace would most likely slip up in one way or another during a scolding.

It wasn't as bad as you thought having the two over, it was like a long sleepover. They had made makeshift beds on the floor out of fear of your (mostly) see through roommates. 

Most of your time was spent attempting to study before the four of you inevitably gave up and headed to Sam's for ice cream to sulk about how you'd definitely fail. It was a cycle with seemingly no end. 

"We can do this!" You pumped a fist in the air, the others beginning to match your energy. 

Grim put on a look of determination, much like the other two. "We'll mop the floor with this!"

"Indeed we will."

And just like all your other attempts that week, you only ended up 'moping the floor' with your tears. 

You werent sure how you got in this position, but you stared at Deuce's paper through glossy eyes at an attempt to understand the explanations he tried to provide. It was dark outside, cool in your room. A blanket was laid over the both of your laps and over Ace's face as he gave up long ago and took a nap on the Deuce's leg. Grim did the same, but rested on your head. 

"I want Riddle back," You mumbled, the last of your frustration transferring into sadness. You wiped the threatening tears with the back of your hand.

Deuce let out a sigh, trying to think of what to say. "Maybe we can get someone else's help?" 

"Like who?" You sat up, pulling your companion down from his resting place above you.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

"Or you could ask me as you usually do."

in the beginning, riddle thought that you, ace and deuce were up to something when you went missing at the same time. there wasn't much he could do about it with his schedule. don't be mistaken he didn't forget about you.

normally around this time he'd be pulling all nighters with you, feeling frustrated at your slowness, but still trying his best to stay calm. he missed that, not the lack of sleep, but having an excuse to be with you without having to initiate it. it was a mutually understood (?) thing. 

no, he didn't ask questions until those days turned into the majority of the week. during a sudy session with trey and cater, they pointed out how he should at least message you, because even they were getting worried. he sent you a quick message that turned into two, then three, and four. 

Riddle isn't one to appreciate interruptions, especially when studying so it was surprising how irritated at a lack thereof. 

"Where are you going?" Cater watched him, curiously.

In one moment, Riddle was sitting working somewhat peacefully and the next he was fuming out the door. He thought of the worst case scenarios, you were never one to ignore messages; he also couldn't get ahold of his freshmen (though that was that out of the ordinary.)

A shiver was sent down his spine upon entering the cool place. It was also possible it was because he walked in on three ghosts playing cards.

"Are you looking for your lovely?" the smallest one asked.

"Y/n! Your boyfri–"

"Refrain from that." Riddle addressed the biggest one. He patted his uniform, calming himself. "They're upstairs?"

"Who's asking?" The slim one dragged.

The smallest floated up to whack the other's nonexistent head, "Y/n's husband, obviously!"

"Wait they got married?" 

"No!" Riddle headed for the stairs, deciding not to waste a moment more on them. 

In their laughter, one managed to warn, "Knock! The youngins' are hard at work up there."

Riddle wanted to make sure you three were at least alive and not wanted criminals, the first confirmed at the sound of your voices. He wanted to scold each of you for scaring him, but the mention of his name made him stop and listen.

"I want Riddle back," You sounded weak, and low on energy. It wasn't something he wasn't used to, but knowing he wasn't there to help in the ways he was able.

Deuce let out a sigh,  "Maybe we can get someone else's help?" 

No, why weren't you going to him?

"Like who?" He heard shuffling in the room, pressing his ear to the wooden door to hear better.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

Unable to listen to you foolishness for a moment longer, he made his grand entrance. He wasn't sure if he was angry or sad, but looking at your tear stained face made him concerned.

"Or you could ask me as you usually do." He managed, taking in your conditions.

"Housewarden!" Deuce tried to shake his redheaded counterpart awake but stopped at Riddle's command.

"Do not bother, I'm here for Y/n. You get some rest, as well, we can review tomorrow. I'll return them safely." Riddle looked to you, who didn't return his gaze. 

He let out a sigh of relief as you got up and collected yourself– "wait for me downstairs."

That he did, awkwardly being examined by the three transparent elders.

"Win 'em back, alrightie?"

"Yeah! It's been a snotfest without ya', a pain really."

"Mhm, they're not all that bright."

In sync they laughed, in sync they stopped. Looking at him again, they disappeared into puffs of smoke and reappeared the same way around him.

"Break their heart again and I'll request that you join us in a game of cards."

"And we've been playing for a while…"

"I wasn't planning on it!" Riddle face felt much warmer at the thought of doing so. 

"Guys, leave him alone." You groaned, groggily. 

He led you outside and you found a seat on a cut down tree's trunk. Patting the space next to you, he joined you. 

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you not talking to me?"

More awkwardness ensued when you both said that at the same time. He looked at you, again not meeting his eyes.

"'Cause you'll hate me. Banish me even," The lack of sleep was talking. 

"Banish you from where?" He asked, confused.

"Heartslabyul… and here," – you pointed at the spot on his chest his heart would be– "Because I think you're adorable and smart and amusing and so many other things. And because I like you, but I don't think you'd like that, would you?"

His expression changed to one of more surprise, his lips tugging upward only for the keenest of eyes to notice. Looking down at the landscape before him, with another relieved breath, "And what if I would?"

[watatsumiis]

Stealing Clothes!!

Been getting rid of some old clothes today and now I've got Genshin fluff on the brain, so have some silly headcanons below the cut about 'borrowing' clothes from some of my faves!

Characters: Ayato, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Lisa, Pantalone, Pierro, Thoma, Yae Miko, Zhongli

Content: Gender neutral reader, platonic relationships with the characters (though could potentially be read as a little romantic knowing me), Pantalone refers to the reader as 'dear', reader has a shorter/smaller body type than the mentioned characters (simply because I do and that's how I project with my writing - if you'd like an alternate version, feel free to let me know and I'll do what I can :D

Word count: ~1,740

I've always found something really comforting about borrowing clothes from others so this will definitely be a self indulgent drabble about that!

Ayato's coat would be the perfect article to steal - he takes it off during long meetings and when he's training, leaving it neatly folded off to the side, just begging for you to steal it. It's long and the sleeves border on inconvenient, but it's made of a soft, cool material and smells like a mix of Ayato's perfumes and whatever Thoma uses to wash it. He'd be so sweetly surprised when he comes back to retrieve his coat, only for you to be wrapped up in it - his eyebrows would go up in that cutely shocked way as he stares for a few moments - you worry you're about to get scolded, but he quickly breaks into a warm smile and narrows his eyes as he leans down to button it up for you. "If you were getting cold, you could have just let me know, I would've been more than happy to send somebody to fetch you a coat."

Capitano is usually wearing some form of armour - it's like a safe shell for him to hide away in, he's like a big turtle. The rare times he's not, he layers himself up with sweaters and the like. In timelines where he's not just a possessed suit of armour, he rarely takes his helmet off, but when he does is the perfect opportunity to strike. It's heavy and cold, weighing you down awkwardly - it's overall not very pleasant to wear and you can't understand how he manages to see out of this thing, let alone fight in it. He'd furrow his brow as he spots you wearing it for the first time - he has kind of mixed feelings about his helmet, and seeing you willingly put it on, seemingly just for fun, baffles him a little. Secondary to the helmet, his sweaters and coats are always brilliant to steal - super comfy and cozy, made of really nice thick material that's still breathable. He's almost unnaturally stocky so even his tighter-fitting clothing would hang off your frame, making it all the more pleasant. He always seems a little confused, but not upset - if stealing his clothes is what makes you happy, by all means, go ahead.

Childe's scarf is a nice boon - it's so easy just to tug it off while he's walking by you or distracted with something. It's tattered, but super duper soft and cosy. It probably doesn't get washed as often as it should, but it's really nice, especially on cool days. The length means you can wrap it around your neck several times and nuzzle into it! So snug! Childe gets really confused the first few times, incessantly prodding and asking you why you stole it - it's a pretty sentimental item to him, but you two are close, so he supposes you can wear it... for now. Sometimes he may just adjust his scarf and offer one end to you - its length means you can both wear it at the same time as long as you're walking side-by-side! Eventually it'd just become a normal thing between you two, and you might find him borrowing some of your clothes or accessories in exchange.

Dottore has a myriad of interesting accessories and the like to borrow. That weird bird cloak thing is a definite candidate for stealing, it seems cool and fun, his mask too. Sadly he doesn't often take anything off or leave it laying around, even when he's just running around his lab, and if you try to 'steal' anything he sets down, you quickly find it snatched back and either put back on or put away - not because he doesn't want you to have it, he just doesn't seem to realise that's what you're aiming for. Stealing one of his lab coats, however, is easy peasy! Just a simple task of finding one hanging up in a closet somewhere and ta-da! Now you look like a real, bona fide mad scientist! Dottore's double take as he sees you walking around in the coat (so long it's almost dresslike on you) is almost comedic, he frowns behind his mask and tilts his head to the side like a curious bird. "What are you doing that for?" Will be his first question, soon to be followed by about a million more as he tries to figure out exactly what compelled you to wear his clothes specifically. There are also tons of weird/interesting things to fidget with in the pockets.

Lisa's hat is both stylish and comfortable. She occasionally takes it off just to fix up her hair, so that's always the best opportunity to snatch it away and put it on, especially on a nice sunny day, it protects your face and eyes from the sunlight. She probably thinks it's super cute and after the first time, she may take her hat off around you a little more often in hopes of goading you into 'borrowing' it again. She'll make sure it's sitting at just the right angle, cooing and fussing at how sweet you look, how she might just get you a similar hat for your next birthday!

Pantalone wears so much nice clothing, so many fancy expensive accessories and jewelry, it's hard to decide what you want to take! When he's in his own space, he tends to just leave things laying around - someone else can clean them up (unless you get there first of course!). Trying on his jewelry is quite fun, he has some really nice necklaces and earrings and rings (though the rings don't often come off, nor do the gloves). If he catches you, he smiles smugly and asks if you'd like your own replica of whatever it is you've been caught in. His dress shirts are also really, really nice - they're made of the finest fabric and are so extremely comfortable - they smell like expensive perfumes too. If you get caught in one of those, Pantalone gets pretty confused/almost flustered, and may offer to go fetch you a clean one. "Come now, dear, you don't want that one, I wore it for hours yesterday! It's filthy!" It is not filthy in the slightest. All he did yesterday was sit in his office. Though he breaks into a smug little grin as he realises that you specifically chose one he wore because that provides more comfort to you. He might tease you for that later, but for now, he's perfectly content to allow you to keep wearing it.

Pierro probably wears a lot of heavy cloaks and coats. They're absolutely brilliant to steal if you get the chance. If you see an opening, take it quick, Pierro will probably put his coat back on or fold it up and toss it over his arm or give it to a subordinate within moments. He gives you this absolutely baffled look as you snatch up his discarded cloak, exchanging a confused glance with the person he was about to hand it off to as he waits to see what you'll do with it. He gives you this analysing kind of look as you wrap it around your shoulders, snuggling your face into the soft, fur-lined collar. As you blink at him all innocently, he softens, just a little. His shoulders slump in acceptance as he shakes his head good-naturedly. It seems harmless enough.

Thoma is more than happy to share his clothing, he absolutely revels in it. If it gets even slightly chilly, he'll offer his jacket, even if you're already wearing a coat or something. It's super comfy, and he seems to like the fact that he was able to help you out (even if he's now getting cold). His dog tags are also an item of interest, but he never ever seems to take them off, so there's not really an opening there. The headband, however, he takes off every now and then just to mop the sweat off of his brow or fix up his hair - it's comfy and keeps your hair out of your eyes, and his happy laugh when he sees you wearing it is so sweet and genuine that you can't help but grin along with him!

Yae Miko doesn't really wear enough clothing for you to be able to steal (much to your chagrin). However, if you're very lucky, she may take off her headdress while you're around as she combs through her hair. The look she gives you as she sets the accessory down is almost expectant - she knows of your affinity for borrowing wearables from others, if anything this is her testing just how much you like her (she already knows you're going to take it though, of course she does). It's heavy and kind of awkward to put on yourself, and Miko definitely chuckles in amusement as she strides over to you, tapping the top of your head in a non-verbal instruction for you to tilt your head down so she can help you put it on as she makes a teasing comment. "You must truly look up to me to go so far as to want to dress up as me, hm?"

Zhongli. Coat. It's the coat, that's his signature accessory and he rarely ever takes it off. It's of gorgeous make and quality, and if you get the opportunity, you grab it right away and you RUN, this chance may never come again (/j). It's almost silky in texture and super comfy and cozy. There's a few inside pockets that he keeps things in (more along the lines of pens and notes and the like - there's no mora pouch to be found). He's more than happy to allow you to wear his coat (he would've let you borrow it earlier if he'd known how much you'd been eyeing it off), he's a little endeared by the sight, and will help you roll up the sleeves and do up the buttons, all the while going into one of his signature spiels, this time about some old folk tale surrounding energy and memories lingering in hand-me-down clothes. He runs his hands over your shoulders to smooth out the crinkled top of the coat and smiles warmly at you and delights in your quirks that are so sweetly human in nature.

This got a little longer/ramblier than I was anticipating, oops-- as always, feel free to add on or send requests/ideas! I'm not sure how good/accessible this post length is to some people, so if there's any feedback on that please feel free to let me know, I might start splitting it up into individual characters and just do a series instead?

Please don't copy, steal, repost or otherwise plagarise my work!

[quickiesgirl]

Saw your requests were open so I thought I would shoot my shot haha

Eddie Munson smut!!

You and Eddie are roommates and best friends. After one of your regular movie nights you over hear him masterbating in the room next to you and you can’t help but pleasure yourself to the sounds of your friend. This goes on for a while until you get caught.

Thank you so much for the request, babes! I’m sorry it took so long to finish. Needed a little break to refresh my mind. I really hope you like it and it is what you had in mind. <3

Sudden Urge - Eddie Munson

Paring: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warning: 18+, Smut, Switch!Eddie, Masturbation, Caught, Fingering, Size Difference, Vaginal Sex, Riding, Unprotected, Best friends to Lovers.

The end credits of the movie rolled, and a light nudge was given to your arm by your roommate, implying that it was your turn to get the tape out since he did the night before. 

 “Yeah, yeah, I know.” You sighed in a joking manner, pulling yourself off the couch to tip-toe across the excruciatingly cold floor toward the television.

Your body shivered slightly since you were wearing little to nothing in your small pair of night shorts and long Metallica t-shirt, which you stole out of his closet. 

“I'll give it to you, sweetheart. I actually enjoyed that movie,” Eddie said, making you glance back at him with a wide smile. 

He had some doubts early on about the romantic film you chose, ‘Who’s That Girl,’ but was always down to cuddle on the couch and hang out with his best friend.

 “I told you you'd like it, Eds." 

 Eddie’s hand abruptly squeezed his knee, ogling your body as you bent over in front of the television and reached down towards the VHS player, the light perfectly illuminating your inner thighs and the thin fabric rising high enough to show the base of your cheeks. 

You placed the tape back with the other movies and walked back over to your roommate, noticing his gaze locked onto the floor, rarely looking you in the eye as he let out a fake, exhausted yawn, and extended his arms back, "Hey, I'm pretty tired… I think I'll head to bed.”

 “Yeah, me too.” You agreed, picking up your blanket and throwing it over your shoulder, watching the long-haired boy slowly stand to his feet, careful not to face you, considering the massive tent bulging in the front of his gray sweatpants. 

“Goodnight, Eddie.” 

“Night, sweetheart!” He said, giving you a small smile before the two of you descended to the privacy of your rooms for the night. 

As you got ready for bed, you slipped out of your night shorts and under the covers, snuggling up with your blanket, inhaling Eddie's sweet scent that made butterflies fill your stomach. 

Your eyes slowly shut as you lay in silence and let your mind wander back to your best friend’s arms with your body pressed into his side. His scent of tobacco and vanilla mixed together, along with the warmth of his body so close to yours, made you feel so safe and warm. 

 You and Eddie cuddled very often, but lately, it was different for you, less of a platonic type of feeling and something you wanted more out of. You never want to harm this relationship by bringing it up, so you hid it deep down inside and continued to hide your feelings. 

A soft muffled groan echoed from the room beside you, making your eyes shoot open, staring into the dark, directly towards the wall your roommate's bedroom was behind as you overhear another groan, much louder than the last. 

Curiosity filled your mind and made you lift from the mattress, scooting yourself closer to the wall to press your ear against it while he continued stroking himself. 

You dragged your bottom lip between your teeth, face growing completely warm to the touch. It was obvious what Eddie was doing, and you couldn't control the lusty feeling that filled your body.  

 The walls of these apartments were especially thin, and the two of you found this out almost immediately due to your noisy neighbors. That tiny detail must have slipped from his head, or perhaps he couldn’t control himself. Whatever it was, you weren’t going to stop him. 

You just had to fall asleep and ignore it. Yet, you struggled to pull yourself away from the sounds of pleasure behind your wall. 

What the hell were you doing? You can’t just listen to your best friend get off. That's an invasion of privacy. But, the ache between your thighs would say different. 

You turned your bedside lamp on and crossed your arms over your chest, staring into the distance. There was no sleeping for you at this moment, and there was no intention of leaving yourself this horny. 

You slid your hand into the waistband of your panties and cupped your pussy, circling your wet entrance with the tips of your fingers, spreading your arousal across your digits. 

You hadn’t pleased yourself in weeks, mostly because you started looking at it like a chore. It was never the same as when someone else was there with you. But the idea of Eddie jerking off did something to you and made you touch yourself like never before. 

Eddie laid against his mattress with a nudie magazine open, eyeing the centerfold of a beautiful woman on full display with extremely similar features to you. 

“Mmh, fuck, sweetheart~” He says with a thick grunt, his pretty round thighs spread open with an eager hand wrapped around the base of his heavy erection, moving up and down his length with pre-cum leaking down his fist. 

You reached under your shirt and massaged your breasts while your other hand rubbed at your clitoris in light circles for a few more moments, pussy continuously clenching around nothing. 

You could tell he was trying to keep quiet, but the poor boy couldn’t help himself once his orgasm hit him, delighting you with submissive, shaky moans that made the coil tighten in your stomach. Picturing the way his thick, milky white cum released over his stomach and chest. 

-

It had only been minutes since you heard him, giving Eddie enough time for his high to wear out and clean himself up. You were at the peak of the orgasm you so desperately craved, head tossing back against your pillows as your thighs trembled uncontrollably.

Before your heart dropped, hearing the sudden knock on your bedroom door, and your roommate opening it slightly to peek his head in on such a vulnerable moment. 

“You still awake- oh, oh fuck-” His brown button eyes widened as he witnessed the sight of your thighs open and your hand slipped into your panties. 

You raise quickly, head cloudy with lust as you snatch your blanket and cover yourself up. Embarrassment written on your face, forced to stare your best friend in the eyes while the two of you stayed frozen across each other 

“I-I’m so sorry!..” Eddie stuttered over himself, struggling to pull his gaze from you before he turned around and began closing the door, but out of pure desperation, you called out in a whimper. “don't leave.” 

Your gaze revealed to him exactly what you were begging for, and he was the only person who could help you. His wandering eyes look at you through long lashes, practically burning holes along your body, “Y-you want me to stay?” 

You nodded your head as he took a few steps forward, moving closer to where you hid under the covers, and hand still stuffed in your panties, cupping your pussy. Eddie’s mind races the dirtiest fantasies that he’s imagined on those late, lonely nights. 

“Need some help?” Eddie questioned, his low, sensual voice going straight to your pulsating clit as he walked beside the mattress, his calloused fingertips dragging along the comforter, using the same hand he had wrapped around his dick nearly a few minutes ago. 

 Veins protrude through the back of his hand, fingers much longer than yours with short bitten-down nails, turning you on almost as badly as the outline of his fat cock, already tenting through his gray sweatpants. 

“Y-yes, please.” You tugged on your bottom lip, watching him slip his hand under the only thing keeping your modesty and follow up your warm, smooth skin, inching himself up your inner thigh. 

Those chocolate brown eyes darkened as they look down at you, observing how your body reacted to his touch. 

“Were you listening to me masturbate, sweetheart?” 

 “N-no..” You said in an attempt to lie, making a smirk spread across his face as he moved in close, placing his knee upon the edge of the mattress and his hand above your head on the bed frame. He cupped your clothe, throbbing cunt, feeling panties soaking to the touch as a soft gasp of pleasure escaped your lips. 

“Now, go on, baby, tell me the truth…” 

You were completely helpless under his touch. “I-I couldn't help myself, Eddie. You sounded so fucking hot touching yourself.” 

He drags his tongue across his bottom lip in habit, gaze darting back and forth across your beautiful eyes and soft-looking lips until it finally became too much. You grasped the collar of his Dio shirt and pulled him down, connecting your lips with his.  

A long-awaited kiss that was absolutely perfect, making needy moans slip past your slightly parted lips. Mouths move in sync, and noses graze each other's cheeks. The smell of Eddie’s previous cigarette still on his breath evokes your senses. 

“You want me to help this- aching pussy?..” He speaks between your starved lips, stroking his middle and ring finger over your cunt. 

“Please.” 

With a swift motion, he pushed your cute patterned panties aside and drove two digits inside your perfect pussy, loving how tight and dripping wet you were, showing him how long it’s been since you’ve had a cock stretch you out. 

“Fuuck, sweetheart.” Eddie groaned. His cock twitched with a mind of its own, pre-cum staining the front fabric of his restricting sweats, “Haven’t orgasmed yet, hm?... Let's fix that.” 

Your hot inner walls pulsate around him, ecstasy coursing through your veins as your best friend slides his fingers in and out rhythmically. His thumb drives across your puffy clit, still numb and tingly. 

Your hands moved down his chest, attaching one to hold the side of his small waist while the other reached down to palm his erection through his pants, watching his eyes widen as a moan slipped out, revealing to you just how much his boy has craved your touch. 

 “Please let me ride you, Ed’s.” 

Next thing you knew, you had stripped your clothes off and were straddling his warm lap before burying your face in his inner neck, peppering him with hungry neck kisses that made him a moaning mess as he reached up and squeezed your tits. 

 “Oh fuck~” He sighed, feeling you grind your hot pussy across his clothed erection. “mhmm~ u-use my cock, baby, use me for your pleasure.” 

You jog your fingers down between the waistband of his pants and glance up at him, watching him give an obedient nod. In which you give a quick tug to the fabric and slide it past his thighs. Your body freezes as his dick springs out, slapping him in the stomach. 

You could practically see the veins pumping along the underside of his thick, lengthy cock, the tip red, glistening with precum. His face was a bright shade of red as you gawked at the sight and wrapped your hand around the thick base, inching yourself closer so you could drag his girthy tip through your slit, parting your folds as it made its way down and positioned against your wet entrance. 

 You slowly sink onto the head of his length, taking him inch by inch. Your eyes broaden in a mixture of euphoria and pain. Taking a moment to get used to his size before continuing to sink your hips down. 

His large hands hold your hips, watching you lower yourself as he is engulfed around your warm walls. “Jesus, you feel so fucking good. Y-you don't understand how long I've wanted this, baby.”  

You leaned in, connecting your lips with his for another kiss, teasingly distracting him with your tongue slipping past his as you lift your hips and drop back down. 

 Eddie’s head fell back in pleasure, and his mouth opened widely as a mixture of moans and wet slapping skin fills the room. 

 You lean back slightly, hands gripping his soft, hairy thighs as you build up speed and tempo with the more comfortable you became till you were practically bouncing on his twitching cock. Continuously striking your a-spot, pushing on your bladder, making the familiar fire creep closer. 

“Such’a good boy. This cock is all mine, all fucking mine from now on.” You speak breathily, mind in a dirty haze before quickly being snapped out of it as Eddie squeezes the fat of your perfect ass, loving and encouraging this controlling and dominant side to you. 

Your tits bounce, eyes flutter shut, jaw lowering with soft moans escaping your open mouth, looking like a fucking goddess out of his dreams. 

“Come on, baby, cum all over your cock.” 

Those words were all you needed to hear in your ear, pushing you over the edge into euphoria. Body tingling, pelvic floor muscles contracting strongly, while you clench around his length and continue to ride him to his orgasm. 

-

Post-orgasm high lingered for the both of you, the room smelling of sex and pleasure. The two of you cuddled under the covers as you glanced up at Eddie, his bangs sticking to his forehead, face red as fuck, making you grin widely and nuzzle closer into his side. 

“I can’t believe the prettiest girl in all of Hawkins is a pervert who listens to me jack off.” He taunts you with a cheeky smile, making you roll your eyes playfully. “In your dreams, Munson.” 

He chuckles lightly and wraps his strong arms around your stomach, pulling you in closer, “just admit it, you like listening to me jerk off.” 

“Well, I’d much rather watch you jerk off than be forced to listen behind a wall.” 

“Ohhh, so you're a peeping tom?” 

You nudge your arm into his ribcage, hearing him pretend to gasp in pain as you lay your head on his chest and nestle into his side, feeling his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

Your eyes ogle the thin sheets laying low on his defined hips, nearly exposing his semi-hard cock. His happy trail guides you down, making your mouth begin to water. 

“What were you thinking about while touching yourself?” You question, twirling the ends of his thick brown hair. 

“Do you really want to know?” Eddie’s voice was low with curiosity as he looked down at you, watching you sit up on your elbow and give an eager nod before he suddenly rolled you over, pinning you down to the mattress, now in complete control. 

He leaned in and whispered in your ear sensually, sending chills down your spine. 

“I was thinking about all the ways I could make you cum.” 

Eddie Munson Smut Taglist: @sunflowerharrington @nevermore-munson @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @rottenstyx @cantthinkofauserlololol @natashamacimoff69 @zestychilli @luna-munson83

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[fictionobsession]

doubt

Pairing: Alastor x f!Reader

Summary: He wouldn’t give anything for her.

Word Count: 1,494

Warnings: toxic relationship, emotional abuse, manipulation, drinking, soulmate au…ish

A/N: alrighty friends so this is part 2 of devotion and uh… it’s rough. this is not a healthy relationship. I’ve got one part planned after this one. if you like happy endings, please just pretend that devotion had one part, okay?

--

She dutifully followed Alastor through the double doors into the smoke and dim lighting of Mimzy’s. It was early in the day, but as it was still Hell, the bar had a few patrons here and there. The pair approached the bar, where Husker was working on loan to Mimzy.

“My doe, please do stay here with Husker. I have some business to discuss with Mimzy. And if you do get bored, there are a few thugs in the abandoned building at the end of the block that could use dealing with. Oh, and don’t forget you still must go to the butcher, you know the one.”

“The one across town? But Al, there’s a butcher on the next street ov - “ She stops at the raise of his brow. “Of course, Al, I’ll go to the one in Cannibal Town. I know you like it better.”

He doesn’t acknowledge her again, turning on his heel to go into Mimzy’s office to discuss business.

“So how long has he been treatin’ you like that?”

She startles at Husk’s question, but relaxes upon seeing his genuine expression. “Like what, Husk?”

“You know what I mean. How long has he had so much control over you?”

A shrug was all she could muster. “Oh, long before I met him on Earth, I’m sure.”

She could watch Husker trying to figure out the phrasing for his next question, the confusion written plainly on his face. “How’d he own your soul before you even met him, in the living world?”

“Oh! Husk, no, he doesn’t – well, not exactly – he -” she focused her energy inward, a black cord coiling around her middle before snaking off to find Alastor. “He doesn’t own my soul, Husker. He’s my soulmate. Platonically, obviously, not the red string of fate, romantic nonsense.”

It was something she’d never seen in Hell aside from her and Al, but people could hide it, so she had to assume there were others. Based on the look Husker was giving her, though, it wasn’t something he was used to seeing either.

“O...kay… so you’re soulmates. Which means you… share in owning souls, right? If one of you two makes a deal, it’s automatically split between you?”

“Well it’s not like I asked to…”

“Uh huh, we’re coming back to that. But, that means your power is… equal to his. You’re an overlord. Why do you let him treat you like that if he doesn’t own you?”

“He treats me fine, Husk. He’s just – well. you know. He’s Al.”

“When was the last time he consulted you or even told you afterwards about a decision affecting both of you?”

Her lack of answer was answer enough for him.

“That’s what I thought. He doesn’t respect you. He’s using you, just like the rest of his little pets.” He spat the last word with such malice, she couldn’t help but wonder what Alastor was doing with the Sinners whose souls he owned. She assumed they all had decent jobs and responsibilities, like Husker and his bartending. She filed that question away in her mind to consider later.

She gave Husker a warning look, though. She couldn’t just let people refer to her as Alastor’s lapdog. But… that’s what she was, wasn’t she? When had he consulted her about decisions? Well, never, but isn’t that the way she had wanted it?

“I’m sorry, I just…” Husk allows himself to trail off when he realizes she’s no longer listening to him. He fills up her whiskey, her usual drink.

“Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you make me something different? Something new?”

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding before mixing her a Tequila Sunrise and leaving her to her thoughts.

As she’s finishing her third drink, Alastor emerges from Mimzy’s office, and the day outside had turned to night. She hooked her arm through Alastor’s proffered elbow, allowing him to guide her out. She pretended not to notice the pitying look Husker was trying to hide from view.

When they stepped out into the night, Alastor finally acknowledged her. “And what all did you get up to while I was busy, my dear?”

“Oh, nothing really, just talking with Husker. He made me a new drink to try! It’s called a Tequila Sunrise.” Alastor wrinkled his nose at her description. “Oh, I don’t think you’d like it at all, Al, it’s very sweet. And I know you’re not a fan of… well, anything but bourbons and whiskeys really.”

“That’s nice, dear. Shall we head back home then?”

She nodded, and suddenly his shadows were swallowing them and depositing them back at Al’s radio tower. She said nothing as Alastor fixed himself a drink, turned on the radio, and made himself comfortable on the sofa. She stood motionless, watching him go about his business as if she weren’t in the room.

“My doe, why don’t you come sit?”

She shook her head slightly before glancing up, remembering that Alastor didn’t make real requests. He made demands framed as requests. She crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the sofa cushion, her back straight and tense, her eyes facing straight forward.

“My dear, what is going on with you tonight? You’re not yourself.” His tone gave away a concern his face would never.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, remembering that they were soulmates for Lucifer’s sake. She could talk to him. He couldn’t hurt her without hurting himself anyway, so they’d have to resolve anything like adults – with proper communication. Which, despite his life being in radio communications, Alastor was distinctly bad at.

“Al, do you actually respect me? Or am I just someone to run your errands?”

“Of course I respect you, my dear! I don’t keep people around if I don’t respect them.” Her eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Well, if I don’t respect them or own them, at least. Where’s this coming from?” His eyes were tense, his smile tight, as if he were clenching his teeth.

“You just… I’m never included in business deals. You’ve never taken me to Overlord meetings. People think I’m someone who made a deal with you, not someone who’s an equal partner with you.” She looked down shamefully, missing Alastor’s eyes briefly turn to the dials that signified his rising temper.

He cleared his throat, forcing himself to calmly respond. His tone was upbeat and his smile was wide, his eyes the only sign of his inner thoughts. “Why didn’t you just say so! I hadn’t included you in dealings because you’ve never asked! And I would never subject you to Overlord levels of danger and responsibilities if you didn’t want it, ma chérie!”

She looks up at him then, a soft smile not quite reaching the crinkles of her eyes.

“Did Husker make you doubt your place with me, my doe? I can take care of that. Permanently.”

All forgiveness she had been feeling in that moment vanished with the threat on her friend. Maybe her only friend, she allowed herself to think briefly. She jumped off the sofa, Alastor following her with a slightly panicked look on his face. Her eyes flashed green dials, shadows darkening the room, and green strings shooting out to tie everything together. She bared her teeth as her own antlers grew. “You will do – NO – SUCH – THING.”

Alastor took a single step back, his smile not quite faltering. She had never had the confidence to threaten him, not ever. He wasn’t even sure she had known she had that kind of power, let alone how to use it.

“Of course, of course! I wouldn’t hurt someone under your protection, I just wanted you to know that I will take care of any potential pests that would come between us! There’s absolutely no need to worry.” He started taking steps toward her, his hand outstretched.

The moment he touched her, she deflated, coming back into her normal calm state. “I’m sorry, Al. Just… don’t hurt Husker, alright?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t harm a fur on his fluffy little head.” He ruffled her hair, smiling softly down at her as exhaustion took over her features. “Now, I’ve got to do my show -”

“Can I stay and listen tonight?”

“Anything you want, my dear.”

She curled up on the sofa, watching Alastor, allowing her mind to wander to all the wrong places. She knew what he played on his radio show, but where did he get them? She’d never even thought to ask. He hadn’t really promised her anything, had he? Not until she showed her teeth.

She sighed, bringing his attention back to her for a brief moment. He flashed a genuine smile over his shoulder, the screams playing a perfect background to the scene as she brought her hand to the bit scar that had once made her feel so close to him. She watched him, not for the first time, but for the first time really looking for any clues about his true motivations and feelings toward her.

[thegayestmferintown]

@kindredsv6969 this is for you! :)

IM FINALLY DONE! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!

I also didn't add in the Devildom equivalent of cookies, or the Devildom equivalent of the cookie ingredients. So, you can interpret this as sometime during lessons forty (40) through sixty (60), when the brothers are in the human world. But that's not necessary.

This is based in the original timeline!

Warnings ;; None!

Relationship ;; Platonic, turned Romantic

Type ;; One-Shot, Kind of a Short Story

Beelzebub ;; The Famished Sixth-Born

Beelzebub, tired and hungry, made his way toward the kitchen, shockingly finding you there before him. Now, that was a rare occurrence; usually, he beat you. "Oh, what are you doing down here? Hungry?" The red-headed demon inquired, and you nodded in response. "Yeah, I was debating on making cookies, you wanna help?"

A wide smile crossed Beel's lips, "Yeah, of course," he responded, walking closer to you. You smiled in response, "Can you get the..." You paused for just a moment, looking at the recipe in front of you. "The sugar, brown sugar, flour and salt? I can get the rest."

Beelzebub nodded once more, before grabbing the ingredients you asked for. While he grabbed those, you walked off and grabbed the butter, milk, vanilla, and chocolate chips.

You followed the recipe, with Beelzebub's help. You soon started to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients, mixing in only a little at a time, just as the recipe instructed. Some way or another, the cookie dough had gotten onto your cheek during your mixing.

Beelzebub hadn't noticed until you were rolling the dough into balls and putting them onto the pan. He gave a hum and pointed at your cheek, "You've got some on your cheek"

You let out a soft laugh, "I hadn't noticed, do you mind getting me a towel?" Beel hesitated for just a moment before kissing your cheek, getting the cookie dough onto his lips. Upon pulling away from your cheek, he licked the remaining cookie dough from his lips.

You gave a light, awkward laugh as you watched him. It remained awkward and silent for just a moment until the oven beeped, signaling it was finished preheating. You jumped ever-so-slightly, before quickly popping the pan into the preheated oven.

Beel's face flushed once you turned toward him, "sorry, i didn't think about it." He said softly, trying his hardest to avert his eyes from yours. You gave a soft laugh, gently holding his face before giving a light peck to his lips.

Beel's frown quickly turned into a smile, so excited that you felt the same way toward him. He picked you up by your waist, laughing softly at your small shriek of surprise. He didn't waste a single moment, by leaning in and closing the gap for the second time that night.

[kisspromptsforthelovesquare]

Kisses under an umbrella

One last kiss before I sacrifice myself/risk it all for you

Jumping on the other kiss

“I thought I’d lost you” kiss

Detransformed but still pre-reveal kiss

Romantic sewer kiss

We just won/lost an akuma battle kiss

“In case we don't make it out of this alive" kiss

“I just found out your identity and I don’t think it’s physically possible to keep my lips off your face now” kiss

Formal kiss

We're platonically cuddling on a chilly patrol night when we're making each other laugh so much we spur-in-the-moment kiss

Sleepy/half-asleep kiss

“I forgot you’re dating my other identity” kiss

Someone’s hanging upside down kiss (aka Spiderman kiss)

Blowing a kiss

“Someone claimed to be dating you and I couldn’t contradict them” jealous kiss

“Your suit’s in the way” kiss

“Your suit’s not in the way anymore!” kiss

Someone just lost their memory kiss

He/she just said yes kiss

"Kiss it better" kiss

Celebratory kiss

Kiss for the camera

Kiss they think is secret but actually lots of people can see, or getting caught kissing

Forehead kiss

"Did you know that kissing is good for hiding in plain sight, because it makes people uncomfortable so they look away?" (aka fake out make out)

I got jealous how you smiled (politely) at that civilian who was obviously (except to you) flirting with you

Kiss on a dare

André got akumatized again and he's leaving couples alone kiss

True love's kiss worked before let's try it again kiss

We need to make our fake dating look convincing kiss

Hello kiss, or goodbye kiss

Distracting your injured partner from pain while you patch them up kiss

She mixed up her words and asked for a kiss by accident but he just went with it kiss

“It’s not fair that you remember kissing me and I don’t” kiss

“I need you to stop punning for like FIVE SECONDS, so I’m going to occupy your mouth in a different way” kiss

The akuma is a huge Ladynoir shipper and it's the only way out kiss

“Sure I’ll help you practice confessing to Buttercup” kiss

“Thanks for saving my life” Ladrien or Marichat kiss

Anywhere but the face kiss: hand kiss, wrist kiss, shoulder kiss

One corner of the square kissing to prove another corner isn’t dating kiss

You were going in for la bise and I read into it kiss

“I’m/You’re using a different miraculous today” kiss

Spin the bottle kiss

“I know I said I wanted to keep our relationship a secret but…” kiss

"What do you mean you're moving away?!" kiss 

Welcome home kiss

"I want my first kiss to be with someone that I love and trust, but it's not that I'm IN love with you or anything hahaha no way" kiss

Kiss you to sleep, or kiss you awake

"Distracting you while you're trying to do something because I want attention" kiss

"Oh no, you made me fall in love with you" realization kiss

"Kissing your forehead/cheek while I thought you were sleeping" kiss (bonus if the 'asleep' person was actually unconscious and the kissing person is all "please come back to me.") 

Kiss during Second Chance

Anniversary kiss

“I thought this was just dancing, so how did we start kissing?” kiss

“We just fought and I’m mad at what you did, but I want you to know I’m not mad at you” kiss

“You fell asleep on public transport and I’m waking you up at our stop” kiss

“It’s been years since we’ve seen each other and I didn’t know what happened to you because of secret identities” kiss

“Reunion” kiss but one of them has the kwagatama ability to talk to the other through reunion and their lips can’t even touch because one is a ghost :(( 

Winning a bet kiss

Drunk kiss

Soft kiss after wrapping them in a blanket

Kiss on an old injury

“Our friends are trying to set us up, haha, let’s humor them” kiss

Sneaking into each other’s room kiss

“I’m pretty sure the grimoire says something about kissing, but I’m not sure exactly what. Want to help me experiment?” kiss

Apology kiss

Kissing while using one of the suit power-ups

“We’re both so busy that we’ve barely seen each other in days, so we should make the most of it” kiss

Kissing under the mistletoe

Kissing in a car

Identity reveal kiss

“Let’s recreate our first/favorite kiss”

Kissing backstage after a fashion show

“We should be focusing on this battle but, wow, you are extra distracting today” kiss

First kiss, or last kiss

“I know it’s the worst possible time for a kiss but…”

Failed kiss or interrupted kiss

Kiss as a confession/to show you how I really feel

Post-reveal pre-relationship kiss

Kisses that tickle

“We found our way back to each other” kiss

Soulmate kiss

Everyday domestic bliss kiss 

A kiss to comfort

“Why exactly are you kissing me?”

“Oh yeah? What are you willing to do to get a kiss from me? 😏” kiss

Accidental lip contact during la bise

Kissing in a disco

"What's the difference between le bisou and la bise? Hmm, let me show you..." 

“Maybe this will jog your memory” kiss

“I was going for the cheek/forehead and I missed 😳” kiss

Sealing a pinky swear with a kiss

"Will you marry me?" kiss

"I just love you so much, I can't help it" kiss

Fake dating kiss

A safe for work “not safe for work” kiss (like they’re standing on a forklift or something - what were YOU thinking?)

Interrupted by kids. Or a hamster. Or a kwami. 

 "Miracle cure brought you back" kiss

“Here’s your present” kiss

A kiss that promises forever

---

More info below:

I hope you wanted a long list of kiss prompts for the Love Square this Valentine's Day! What better way to celebrate a day of love than with our favorite lovesick dorks. 🥰

Use this list however you want. As an ask game, a challenge to draw or write every one, or just pick your favorites!

(For more fun, here's a random number spinner that you can set to any number you want.)

Feel free to use any version of them you want, too. Multimouse, Cat Walker, Dragon Bug, Chat Blanc, or stick to the original four-cornered square, if that's your thing!

Tag @kisspromptsforthelovesquare and we'll reblog. Marinette and Adrien's love for each other is forever. Just like the offer of reblogging. There's no time limit.

There's also a collection on AO3. Feel free to post there instead/as well.

Have fun everyone! Go and make them smooch!

Thank you to the wonderful @ladyofthenoodle for the header, and for our Discord group with their kiss suggestions.

[ranticore]

Two shortwing rival academics and a lil bit about spire culture

The East North Spire (or honestly just 'Spire', people will know what you mean) is the most densely populated location on the planet. It consists of the remains of one of the largest old telecommunications spires on a cliff. The sea around here is shallow and dense with reedbeds which can be used to make building material. Wood (or an alien equivalent) doesn't exist on Siren so reeds make up most permanent and impermanent structures, as well as providing the pulp with which to make paper and the extremely light reedsilk clothing that harpies wear.

Being surrounded by abundant natural resources as well as being an area with relatively mixed water year-round, so good fishing opportunities, the spire was an obvious choice to build on. The structure of the spire is made of woven reed platforms and silk tents attached to the main trunk, but over the years it has grown immensely wide and complex. People might liken its appearance to a giant multicoloured tree if they knew what a tree was. The structure extends down the cliff-face all the way to the water, where it expands into a dense network of docks and pontoons which has become something of a globlal shipping hub.

The spire is mostly famous for its strict occupation-based culture and honorifics system, which I originally scribbled down on a drawing of Qedivar and Terwy in ramble form, but it's important to understand that these names are cultural and geographical so not limited to harpies.

This is the first pass of the naming system so it's likely outdated lol.

Anyway what started as a collection of craft guilds at the spire transformed over centuries into the world's only institute of higher learning. It is mostly a gigantic and deeply bureaucratic university, the headmaster of which is the highest authority in the entire city.

The culture at the spire is loud. Open debate, arguments, and outright fights are encouraged as a way to clear the air and avoid any simmering tension building up between aggrieved parties. Holding a grudge is considered physically bad for your health, worse than any consequences of a heated debate or quick scuffle (drawing blood is where this acceptance of fighting ends, however). The population density is ludicrous, especially in the shortwing bowers where you'd be lucky to have a wingspan's worth of space to yourself, so it's in their best interests to become very good at managing conflict as early as possible. There is no concept of romantic relationships as a separate phenomenon to platonic relationships here and the potential for gigantic nightmarish polycules to develop is almost guaranteed, but a comparatively small societal weight is placed on sex and intimacy, it's just a thing you do with your friends and that's about it, you won't get any institution of marriage though it is possible (rare) for a pair to be exclusive.

There are no blood ties or familial bonds among inhabitants of the spire. There are differing gestation periods & nurseries based on body type, but among the shortwings, who are the most numerous and have very short gestation periods, nursery duty is pretty much like jury duty. Everybody gets called out to the nursery every couple of years to do early infant care, once the birthing parent is no longer needed (at time of weaning usually). The infants are communally raised and when they're old enough to learn they get shuffled immediately off to school where they will remain until age 12 or so when they pick their main topic of study, or a craft apprenticeship. Then their fellow students or guild masters are considered to be their true families.

The culture is frequently xenophobic against basically everyone else; it's got Big City disease where everyone living outside may as well not exist, and other places are far less important. Particular negative consideration is given to people from the Western continent who are thought of as just inherently dumber for not having any great institutions of learning, with the notable exception of the visored harpies. There's also a strongly ableist element in the spire, those not considered smart enough or not fit enough to work a craft are practically second class citizens.

Qedivar and Amivar (-var suffix indicating a scholar working on a theory) share a bower, they're on-again-off-again frenemies due to the fact that the two of them are working on very different theories on the origin of people. Amivar has proposed a theory of evolution, which is partially wrong where the humans are concerned (as they were intentionally designed but have experienced natural selection since) and correct for all other life on Siren (which did evolve), and Qedivar believes the Precursors were similar to gods who magicked the entire planet into being and then populated it with distinct groups of people. Both theories have some merit but really all they've achieved is endless debates and fights, until a particularly harsh defeat at Qedivar's grant application causes our pal Qedivar to decide to set out to prove his theory right by any means necessary, with a budget of almost zero.

While Qedivar travels to the Western continent to learn the heretical truth (which is that he was wrong and they're all just Human aliens), Amivar stays behind. He continues his work, but when the ministry of knowledge at the spire comes knocking to demand to know Qedivar's whereabouts, he's faced with a tough choice - sell Qedivar out and reveal his location, thus potentially getting a really nice research grant in return for his evolution theory which has proven very unpopular, or cover for him and, in doing so, implicitly accept the unacceptable truth of what his colleague has uncovered. I had a lot of fun thinking over Amivar and his actions in these circumstances, in a situation where where so much hinges on pride and self-advocacy... a look at the guy who has to stay behind and deal with the consequences of someone else's grand adventure (as well as the ministry of knowledge threatening to disappear him).

[spiderrmax]

kyle broflovski & jealousy,

request: bonjour! can u do a jealous Kyle?(ty) author's note: trying some new w this post; it's a mix of headcanons + a little blurb at the end :D

Out of the main four, I feel like he is the one most likely to get jealous

A lot of his jealousy stems from insecurities; he finds himself pondering over his worth a bit and that translates into envy

He hates how jealous he gets though

He’d trust you with his life; he just doesn’t trust many other guys.

Cartman will purposely flirt with you solely to get under Kyle’s skin, and it works! Everytime.

Kyle tries not to get jealous, knowing he’s only doing exactly what Cartman wants, but he can’t help it.

You’re his! And people shouldn’t think they can just flirt with you! 

He’s typically not keen on PDA

But, has no problem wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close if someone is looking for way too long.

If you ask him about it, he won’t try to beat around it too hard. He knows relationships are based on communication, and will confide in you in his feelings.

The best thing you can do is reassure him! He gets in his head sometimes and you just need to bring him back out of it.

Not brushing over his feelings and telling him you haven’t even glanced at any other guys because you have him allows him to get over his jealousy.

Despite getting jealous more frequently, Kyle knows to trust you, and that in most cases you don’t even care for the guy he’s jealous over.

It started with your lab partner, a guy who Kyle could not care to learn the name of. The guy seemed fine at first, based on how you spoke about him, but his existence was slowly weighing Kyle down.

He constantly holds you back from leaving science, a class that Kyle and you didn't share. On most days, you'd meet him outside, walking to your next class together. Your partner's need for help left Kyle waiting in the halls, lingering as you continued to provide aid. (Although, you always perked up once you saw him and left your partner a bit abrupt; that made it worth it.)

He asked for your number and would blow it up when you two were alone. The constant vibrations a reminder of his existence, more salt in the wound. It also seemed the longer you were partners, the more confident he got. Comments that teetered on the line of platonic and romantic, lingering touches that made his face warm with anger.

Kyle despises him, and wants him to know all the resentment he feels. Instead, he bites his tongue, knowing you have to interact with him for your grade.

The feelings can only bubble for so long before Kyle breaks. It's a Friday night, and you're laying together in his bed, above the covers and procrastinating from studying. It takes him a bit to speak, words bubbling up his throat only to die once they reach his tongue. He's able to do it after the third time he thinks of the words he wants to say.

"I don't like your lab partner." He confesses, eyes starring at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling from his childhood.

"Hm. Jeremy? He's okay." You say, turning to lay on your side in order to look at him.

"He's just. Weird. Why does he think he can touch you like that?" He grumble, face red as he admits it, finally, to you.

When you don't reply fast, he wishes he could melt into his mattress. Embarrassment is heavy on his chest, but somewhere he finds the courage to look at you. He watches as your eyebrows furrow, before realization paints itself on your face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ky. I've said stuff to him, but he doesn't care," You admit, reaching out your hand to grab his, "Plus, he's really bad at science. He doesn't even do anything."

That pulls an amused snort from Kyle, who rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

You smile at the feeling, before admitting to him, "I'd rather have you as my partner."

Kyle grins, only able to think Take that, Jeremy. Fuck you.

[vaporwavevox]

Aronarc

A term for when you're arospec and a narcissist and your attachment is heavily influenced by your narcissism and aromanticism, so much so that a description of your attachment to others is incomplete without both.

Aplnarc

A term for when you're aplspec and a narcissist and your attachment is heavily influenced by your narcissism and aplatonicism, so much so that a description of your attachment to others is incomplete without both.

Aroaplnarc

A term for when you're both aronarc and aplnarc.

These aren't orientation labels, you can be any aro/aplspec and use them, they are rather a descriptor of your attachment style and how narcissism influences your attachment. We are using "narc" in a reclaimed way as pwNPD.

Us and our partner system are both aro and narcissists and we thought for years that we must be alloro because we mistook our strong narc attachments for romantic attraction. The strong attachment to a person made us feel like we wanted whatever romance was with them, but once we started trying to do romantic relationships we got aro panic and felt trapped. We tried to date people and things fell apart because we were incompatible and just didn't want the same things in a relationship as them. We meshed best with other arospec narcissists who implicitly understood that we want supply and intensely attached relationships without that attachment including romance and tying our lives together. Both our aromanticism and narcissism play such large roles in our attachment that it is impossible to describe in what way we attach to people without referencing how both influence the attachment.

Then we realized we're aplspec and the narcissism affects platonic relationships the same god damn way there. We don't have squishes or platonic attraction really (except for one singular squish once in our whole life), but our platonic style attachments and relationships are still heavily influenced by our narcissism and lack of empathy.

You could probably extend this concept to being acespec or more aspec axes, but we wouldn't feel comfortable coining those because we wouldn't find them useful terms for ourselves and we'd like to leave defining terms up to people who want to use the things they're defining.

The pink on the flags represents narc attachment and narcissism, because it is eye-catching and also this song. (P: pretty, I: intelligent, N: never sad, K: cool!). The green represents aromanticism. The blue represents aplatonicism. The teal represents mixing both together. The white represents... I dunno, the fucking relationships and supply and how great our narc attachment is or whatever. It looks good and we like it, don't @ me. We made the colors bright because so many aspec and narc flags have dull colors and we wanted to represent the vibrancy of our experiences.

Coined by @radiostaticsmile and me to describe our own experiences. He's a loveless aronarc, I'm a loveless aroaplnarc.

[thisisnotthenerd]

ok, i know i put a poll up and that relationship tracking won the poll for what came next on the stats series.

but consider this: relationship tracking takes so goddamn long. i had already started it by the time that i put the poll up, and as of now i'm still not done. granted the list is comprehensive: romantic, platonic, familial, and adversarial relationships, separated by pc-npc and pc-pc. for every season.

anyway, i started tracking character ages in the meantime while i build up the motivation to finish the relationship tracking.

without further ado:

d20 character ages

some of these are listed in the wiki. some of these are based on vibes and more vague indications from the seasons in question. all of them have some element of my commentary. if there isn't an age given i will explain why. it's in the seating chart because that compacts the format into an understandable block and not an infinitely long list.

to be clear, some of these are confirmed with actual numbers, but some aren't, and i'm listing them as unknown and offering my opinion in place of a confirmed number.

fantasy high freshman year: i am convinced that the ages the cast give are vibes based. as someone who did not fit the normal age range of high school, i can tell you that in the US, freshmen are typically 14-15, sophomores 15-16, juniors 16-17, and seniors 17-18. that's not to say that someone can't fall out of those ranges. i did. anyway:

fig faeth: ~15. this is a rough estimate--she'd be born just after fall cutoff for her year to start at 15.

gorgug thistlespring: 14-15. he was confirmed 14 at the start of the season, and presumably turns 15 at some point during the year.

adaine abernant: 14-15. this is based on the fact that she turns 16 before the events of sophomore year

fabian seacaster: 16. a bit older than your average freshman, but i knew people who were 16 freshman year, so it's not that weird.

kristen applebees: 15-16. again a bit older than your average freshman, but younger than fabian.

riz gukgak: 14. this was confirmed in episode 13 iirc. riz is the youngest of the party

escape from the bloodkeep: this party has some major age differences that are very unclear. no real confirmed ages.

maggie: unknown. she and zaul'nazh had been in a relationship for ~100 years, so she's probably got a good couple of centuries under her belt

leiland: unknown. similar deal to maggie--he spent centuries serving zaul'nazh. how many? who knows

efink murderdeath: unknown. she's a tolkienesque high elf. if we go full lotr comparison to arwen, she's over 2000 by the time she marries percival.

sokhbarr: unknown. again, we don't really get confirmation of an age for him--he's just kind of an ageless bog-lord.

lilith: old as time. she ate the stars. definitely the oldest of the party.

markus st. vincent: unknown. human, so he has a human lifespan. i'd pin him in his 30s. given that his closest comparison is probably faramir, who's 35 at the start of the war of the ring, i think 30s tracks.

the unsleeping city: here we have a mix of confirmed ages and some straight up vibes.

ricky matsui: late 20s early 30s. more specifically around 26-31. this is vibes-based. i based this on his career progression.

sofia lee: early-mid 30s. another vibes-based one. again based on career progression. she feels a little older than ricky and pete, but not by much. married to dale for 5 years, so if they got married when she was in her late 20s, this tracks.

kingston brown: 55. thank god a confirmed number.

misty moore: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. this actually comes from tucii. i'd put her misty form in late 70s early 80s, and her rowan form in her mid 20s.

kugrash: ~60, based on his 30 years as a rat druid.

pete conlan: younger than 31. this is based on a reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988), so i aged him back three years. i would guess mid-late 20s during tuc; he mentions not having seen his dad in 6 years. assuming pete fully transitioned during college/around college age, it would make sense for him to be around 25-28 during the first unsleeping city.

tiny heist: some of these characters just straight up don't age, so they don't really count when evaluating age.

rick diggins: unknown. he's a clicko man. he cannot age except in spirit.

boomer coleoptera: unknown. vaguely middle-aged, though that might just be clint mcelroy's general dad energy

agnes: elderly. no confirmed number, though she's old enough to have a grandma schtick, a reputation, and a terminal illness prognosis of 2 months

ti-83: a teen. and that's all we know. probably younger than bean.

bean: late teens early 20s. a vague range, but at least it's something.

car-go jones: another ageless toy. at least a decade in human years, if we estimate that max got him at a similar age that he gives him to dylan.

a crown of candy: finally some goddamn numbers.

liam wilhelmina: 17-18. he starts at 17 and turns 18 in ep 15 iirc.

theobald gumbar: ~50. this tracks for him assisting lazuli and being amethar's friend during the war

jet rocks: 18. and she never lived past 18.

saccharina frostwhip: 23-24. this tracks for her being born around the ravening war, before the rocks sisters were killed.

ruby rocks: 18. and she keeps living.

amethar rocks: 48. reasonable. he'd have been in his mid 20s during the ravening war.

lapin cadbury: old man. yes that is the actual entry. i'd say he's probably 10-15 years older than amethar to really be considered old.

cumulous rocks: late 30s early 40s. tracks for being created by lazuli while theo was starting his knighthood under her.

fantasy high sophomore year: i'm halfway convinced that the intrepid heroes just don't know how old high schoolers are. granted, they may be going for general teen, i.e. 13+1d6, so the more batshit stuff they do comes across as a little more normal. it's like having actors in their 20s play teens. except they're actually dnd characters. and they're in their 30s.

fig faeth: 16-17. another rough estimate for fig.

gorgug thistlespring: 17. a little funky, since he was 14 at the start of fhfy. the principle of 13+1d6 comes across here

adaine abernant: 16. her age range for the year is 15-16, which is normal for a high school sophomore.

fabian seacaster: 18. definitely stretching it a bit. the listed current age is 18-19, which i'm assuming is using boy's night as reference.

kristen applebees: 16-17, which tracks with her progression from freshman year

riz gukgak: 16. confirmed in ep 14 iirc. since he was 14 in feb of freshman year, and assuming spring break is ~april, he has a spring birthday.

pirates of leviathan: there's a pretty clear split of age groups in this season--the first to introduce adults in spyre.

sunny biscotto: 18. her first adventure as an independent person, even though it was technically her running away from home.

barbarella sarsaparilla gainglynn: 22. it tracks; she grew up isolated on leviathan and isn't super far into her career, though she has a pretty strong base

cheese stormcrank: 16. the youngest of the party, even though he's his family breadwinner. the left table is the young people in this party.

myrtle: 30. aabria calls her a 'dirty thirty'. so that may not be exact.

jack brakkow: late 50s equivalent. granted he's a ratkin, and middle age starts at 25 for them, with old landing at 40. so he may actually be younger, probably closer to myrtle's age if not a little older.

marcid the typhoon: unknown. he's never given a specific age. given that he's known myrtle for a long time, and at some point was nearly drowned in a shipwreck, i'm going to put him in his 30s as well.

the unsleeping city chapter ii: again, a mix of confirmed ages and vibes.

ricky matsui: early 30s. 29-34. this is just three years aged up from the first unsleeping city.

sofia lee: mid 30s. another age-up from

kingston brown: 58. thank god a confirmed number.

iga lisowski: 45. it feels like she kind of plays up the old lady schtick for her job, bc 45 isn't that old.

rowan berry: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. rowan form in her mid 20s.

cody walsh: 26. this is a 26 year old hot topic manager with 12 swords and extreme mediocrity. truly a character designed to cause chaos.

pete conlan: younger than 34. again based on the reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988). i'd put him at around 28-31. definitely around cody's age, a little older, but not much.

mice & murder: they are animals using variant human stats, so they're using human ages.

gangie green: 55. he definitely acts younger in certain circumstances.

buckster $ boyd: unknown. probably younger than gangie--late 40s perhaps? we know he's a gemini.

daisy d'umpstaire: almost 60. she's past her prime and wondering if she really wants to do this for the rest of her life

ian prescott: unknown. definitely middle aged, probably around buckster's age.

lars vandenchomp: 18, supposedly in dog years. also a cancer. i don't know how, given that they served in the schnauzer war and supposedly have a business degree.

sylvester cross: 55. another person past his prime, and wondering what's he's doing with the rest of his life.

misfits & magic: the first school season to actually have consistent ages, assuming they're entering as sixth years who were in their junior year in the us.

whitney jammer: 16. born around 2005.

k | dream: 17. born around 2004

sam black: 16. another 2005 baby

evan kelmp: 17. born around 2003. this tracks for him not having formal education-- a little old for the grade.

the seven: the first spyre school season to have the ages be consistent. the ladies know teenagerhood well.

the fact they lost a year or so in the palimpsests makes placing their grades a little fuzzier: we know sam, ostentatia, and zelda get taken during the school year. penny goes missing just before the start of the year, and antiope, katja, and danielle get taken beforehand.

antiope jones: 18. she lost a year in the palimpsest, so she's technically a super senior, making her a junior during fhfy.

katja cleaver: 18. another technical super senior, who was a junior during fhfy.

penny luckstone: 18. again, she lost her junior year during fhfy.

danielle barkstock: 16-17. i'd say 17, because that makes her a sophomore during fhfy--she'd have repeated the year to be a junior during the seven.

ostentatia wallace: 16-17. leaning toward 17 again, but younger than danielle. we don't get full confirmation of how old she is/what grade she's in during fhfy, but given the fact that she's established enough to host a party at her house during fhfy, i'd say she's a sophomore, and that's the year she repeats.

sam nightingale: 18. i'd say close to 19, because she's definitely in penelope's age group if not grade, and i'm pretty sure i recall penelope being a senior during fhfy. she may have been young for her grade initially, but came out on the other end after fhfy.

zelda donovan: 16-17. leaning towards 16 for zelda; she's a freshman with the bad kids during fhfy, and is the last maiden to be captured, at some point during the second semester. she could conceivably retake classes over the summer and catch up in order to be a sophomore the same year as the bad kids.

shriek week: this is a college season, so they're college aged. i don't have that much to say--we know exactly how old they are.

terry talbo: 22

megan mirror: 23

tuti iv: 21

seven: 22

a starstruck odyssey: there's a mix here--some vagueness, some numbers. in-universe their ages would be counted differently anyway, since they work off of 6-month cycles and not 12-month years.

gunnie miggles-rashbax: mid 30s. he's got two PhDs and a master's as well as a cyborg body and years of trying to pay off debt.

riva: unknown. it's reasonable to assume that they're on the younger side, given that they are on their galavant. i'd assume around early-mid 20s for their species.

norman takamori: unknown. based on the art and his general timeline, i'd say ~40s. maybe 50s.

skip | valdrinor: unknown. he's a cerebroslug who was presumably raised somewhere, tried to escape, ended up in space and then in a crate of powdered egg substitute.

margaret encino: 24. a savant who began working at 18. truly a girlboss on a quarter life crisis.

sundry sidney: n/a. she's an android--aging doesn't really apply to her. i think it's only been a year or so since the line was shut down, since it's been revamped as the warfare whitneys.

big barry syx: 38. this also carries over to barry nyne. we know barry bohunk created the barry battalion before anarchera 200 (current=220), but they were born as 25 year old beautiful big boys. in short, barry's age is a little questionable.

coffin run: another age split season, since half of the party is immortal.

aleksandr astrovsky: 41. young to be florina's zayde. also 15 sons? especially when he and marina had not been in contact for ~7 years? insane.

squing: old as time. younger than dracula, but only just. just a squishy headed vampire who eats letters.

wetzel: 26. has not even lived a majority of his lifetime and already wants to be a vampire.

may wong: 24. granted that's because she was turned at 24 so as to be eternally young and hot, so she's a bit older than that probably.

a court of fey and flowers: they are archfey that don't die. blooms are centuries apart. assume these age ranges are going to be like the bloodkeep ranges.

andhera: unknown. younger than most of the fae--he's the current heir to the unseelie, but has had many siblings who died previously in pursuit of the throne. most of the others knew them when they were younger; hob unhorsing him on the field of battle is only one example. so definitely like just of age for this prince.

k.p. hob: unknown. definitely older than andhera and likely binx, he's in the prime of his military career. getting closer to middle age, but still a relatively eligible bachelor, given that the goblin court sought to make a marriage alliance with lady sylmenar.

chirp featherfowl: unknown. i'd put her at the archfey equivalent of late 20s early 30s just based on vibes. she's still getting down at the bloom but has a 4 year old at home on the material plane.

squak airavis: unknown. i'd say slightly younger than chirp, but they've been cousins for so long that the difference is irrelevant. late 20s, getting down and breaking hearts at the bloom. considering marriage but shopping around.

delloso de la rue: unknown. rue is a little tricky--they were brought to the court of wonder as a child and presumably aged normally to that point, but they've been an archfey ever since. closer to hob's age than the lords of the wing.

binx choppley: unknown. the crisis of the court of craft happened relatively recently in fey terms and she was an adult by that point, though not truly the leader at the time. i'd say she's older than andhera, younger than the lords of the wing.

neverafter: some weird age splits in this party; kids, adults, inexplicable trickster spirits.

rosamund du prix: 18. technically 118, but that doesn't really matter.

timothy goose: unknown. he's old enough to have greying hair and an adult son--late 40s-early 50s maybe?

pinocchio: 12. this is based on both him and ylfa being 21 during the epilogue, so i'm assuming they're the same/a similar age.

puss in boots/pib: unknown. we meet him when he's on the older side for a cat, but also he's an eternally reincarnating trickster spirit, so that doesn't really matter.

gerard of greenleigh: 32. the other adult in the party, even though he doesn't have everything figured out.

ylfa snorgelsson: 12. this is confirmed in story, and she and pinocchio are the same age.

the ravening war: this season is a little weird because of the time skip and the fact that some ages are unconfirmed.

delissandro katzon: starts at 19, 21 after the first timeskip, 26 after the second. a young man.

raphaniel charlock: unknown. i'd say he starts in his late 60s and ends the season in his mid-70s. old enough to be deteriorating and have specific signs of age, but still spry enough to pull off a cunning action dash.

karna solara: 14 to start, 16 post-timeskip 1, 21 post-timeskip 2. rotting from a young age.

colin provolone: unknown. i'd place him in his late 20s to start, mid 30s by the end, based on his art and the start of cheese pattern baldness.

amangeaux epiceé du peche: unknown. mid 20s to start, early 30s by the end. she and her husband had been trying for heirs for a while--assuming she married young, she's not past her prime, but not having a kid in her position would be a little sus. also the fact that she must have had a relatively healthy uncomplicated pregnancy points to her still being pretty young to start.

dungeons & drag queens: a lot of variance here as well. mostly vibes-based.

troyánn: 242. she's got a combination of elf and immortal mermaid queen--this is reasonable.

princess foehammer: unknown. probably in her 20-30s.

gertrude: unknown. explicitly immortal--the only sign of age is her hair. she's been around for a while.

twyla: unknown. she's another fairy of unknown age.

mentopolis: some of these characters have stated ages. they are also concepts in a brain.

conrad schintz: 10. his growth has been stunted for years.

anastasia tension: 24. an up and coming journalist running form her rich family? say no more.

hunch curio: unknown. he's a concept in a brain. on vibes? 40s.

imelda pulse: unknown. i'd say she's probably around anastasia's age, given that they demonstrably grew up together.

dan fucks: unknown. another concept in a brain. 20-30s on the vibes alone.

the fix: unknown. concept in a brain. old enough to be a father and a contract killer is all i'll say.

burrow's end: this follows stoat aging--some of these are confirmed, some are guesses.

tula: 1-2 years old, leaning towards 2. old enough to have kids of a reasonable age, if the 1 year mark is adulthood (male stoats achieve sexual maturity at 10-11 months)

jaysohn: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. growing up fast.

viola: 1-2 years old, same litter as tula. i looked up stoat reproduction against recommendation.

thorn vale: 1-2 years old. in the vague adult range with tula and viola.

ava: 4 years old. potentially could live for 15 more winters. unbelievable.

lila: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. same litter as jaysohn, but is the elder of the two of them.

and that's all for this time! despite being this long, this is still going to be shorter than the relationship tracking. as always the spreadsheet is available for perusal.