#and i'm still me so i rarely am going to put out something i'm not at least mostly happy with

[violetasteracademic]

On Being a Published Writer: Without a Degree

This is a bit of a vulnerable share today, and I am writing it after a sleepless night, the monster of anxiety and shame weighing heavily on my chest. However, I have come far in life and undergone an incredible amount of healing, and refuse to be ashamed of my past. I hope sharing this can help even one person like me remember that when it comes to craft, when it comes to art, the only thing stopping you from being worthy is you.

This year, I became a published writer. After years of hard work and dedication to my craft, I finally felt good enough to begin submitting my work to literary magazines. I'm proud of that accomplishment. It's a little tag I get to add to my bio now as I submit work that helps make me feel *valid.* But that quickly, all it takes is for someone to remind me that I did not have access to a degree, that I did not learn from the best, and I will spend the rest of my life without a formal education behind my writing, and they achieve the goal they set out: to make me feel less than for not having their background.

In America, the education system is for profit and public school system inconsistent. There are many factors that can contribute to whether or not a person gets through it successfully, and it often has little to do with intelligence, work ethic, or strength of character and drive before the age of 18.

So here is my story:

I graduated high school with a 2.1 GPA.

My first hospitalization (out of the 17 I would have in my life) for edometriomas happened at age 15. I spent the majority of high school struggling with chronic pain, stage four endometriosis and the accompanying endometriomas cysts, and illness. By age 16, social services was threatened by my school to be called on my home for suspected neglect and abuse. I moved out of my house that year, and was given temporary guardianship by a friends family.

By the end of my senior year, I continued to bounce around between friends houses, sometimes sleeping in my car, and struggled to keep on top of my coursework. I was enrolled in the work study program designed for students who had to keep a job during their high school years, and earned school credits for staying employed.

Despite all of this, I still maintained high grades in Advance Placement literature and language, proceeded to get 5's on my AP tests (a perfect score, and a rare accomplishment) as well as near perfect scores on my ACT's. I spent every spare second reading and writing from the moment I learned how. My intelligence and comprehension were not the issue. My health and my home life were.

The only reason I got into college at all was because I decided to audition for a school play freshman year. Much to my surprise, I was cast in the lead role, and thus the course of my life was set. I poured everything I had into acting, I finally had a purpose and something to keep me out of having to go home after school. Still, applying for colleges was one of the most stressful and shame inducing experiences of my life. I got into many top performance programs in the country, then would not get into the university itself with my GPA. The conservatories that did not look into school performance did not provide the financial assistance required for me to attend.

There was one university that offered limited talent admissions that would allow the university admission requirements to be overlooked for students that had displayed exceptional talent in their specialized field of study. I had to put together a request for the school board, complete with letters from my high school teachers providing context for my low GPA paired with high test scores, character assessments on my likely ability to maintain the minimum required GPA in college, as well as a letter from the head of the performing arts department of the university stating that I was worthy of this talent exception. The wait was unbearable. But I was accepted. And I was approved for the work study program that allowed me to gain employment at the university to help offset the cost.

I felt like my whole life had changed in college. I had gotten in. I had gotten out. I was a new person, no one knowing about my past or the stain of my struggles. I had a fresh start. While I continued to battle my illness throughout college, it was manageable with a consistent bed to sleep in every night, as well as access to physical and mental health services. And although I tested out of being required to take any English classes with AP, I still filled my elective credits with writing classes. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, creative writing. Performing became my work, and writing became my joy. I took every class that sounded remotely interesting, often filling my schedule more than required on top of my work and performance load.

I am withholding some of the more personal details of my life, but when I finally moved out to LA, I hit the ground running. I accomplished more in a few years than fellow artists and performers who had been out there for more than a decade. And I valued every person I met. I was in small, independent theatre shows with Juliard grads. I was on professional sets with wildly naturally talented people working to get their GED with no formal education but that undeniable *it* factor. People from all walks of life set out for the Angel City to make it, and I was one of them. I also began writing again, this time short films and audition monologues. I began writing pieces for friends and classmates at their request. I secured my first talent agent with a performance piece that I wrote, along with an offer to renegotiate my contract to include literary representation should I complete a script worth shopping. I began to organize applications for writing fellowships at top studios, when my condition became so severe the only option to move forward with my life was surgery. And then my life completely changed again.

I came out of that surgery with nerve damage that left me unable to walk for six months, as well as developed a new permanent nervous system disorder.

My career and my life never recovered. I was permanently changed. However, during that time, I turned one of my sci-fi short films I had written into a 160k word novel, with outlines for a trilogy. While it was one of the darkest times of my life, writing got me through it. I moved out of Los Angeles to a more affordable city and threw myself into writing. I learned that ivy league schools like Stanford, Harvard, and Yale shared their syllabi for continued study coursework online, including the required textbooks for the courses. Example here. I took myself through the textbooks and coursework of top schools, I took every local workshop possible when it was in budget. Any education on craft that was within my means, I reached for.

I will never be able to change the course of my life. I will likely never be able to go back to school. However, this amazing video by Bandon Sanderson helped me overcome my shame, my lack of access to returning to higher education when my life and career were irrevocably changed: Be Anything But an English Major

I had already done what he had encouraged, pick a subject I was passionate about, fill my college coursework with things I found interesting, and let it inform my writing. While this is not to disrespect or degrade English majors or say successful authors think the degree is worthless, I am simply sharing to say this video helped ME combat against English majors who made me feel worthless for not having access to their diploma.

So to anyone feeling insecure today, you do not need a degree in the arts. Whether you want to be an author, an actor, a painter, a fashion designer, a poet. And I say this as someone whose greatest privilege and joy in life was getting a performing arts degree.

We must continue to prioritize art being accessible, value diverse backgrounds, and wish for it to be open and available to all. We must continue to treat art as subjective, and reject ideals that learning from a certain set of paid individuals makes all other opinions, choices, or ideas invalid.

There is no dollar amount I could give to a piece of paper that would make my mind, my intelligence, and my ability to organize and understand words in an impactful way that would make me more valid than I am today. There is no degree that could replace my work ethic, my empathy, my desire to write stories to do good. To give something to the world and help people survive in the ways that I had needed to survive.

Maybe I'll tell this story again one day, and it will help another young person with my background believe there may be more in life than the cards they were dealt. Maybe this will be the first and last time sharing these words. Maybe I'll never get another piece published, but will continue to write fanfic and poetry and prose pieces to share on the internet for free because I believe in my heart it is valuable. To look at myself, and my work, and deem myself worthy of my efforts and passion.

I am proud to be a member of the community of published writers without a degree.

I am even more proud to be a member of online fandoms full of writers, artists, creators, contributors and more who give their free time and energy towards something that does nothing more than make others happy.

So,

to the people who look at the stars and wish.

to the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered,

this one is for you.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

A ramble on imposter syndrome and the accessibility of witchcraft

So, I’ve been thinking. I think a lot in case you haven’t noticed. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the major imposter syndrome I’ve been feeling lately in regards to this blog. TL;DR is at the bottom of this post.

People have been, occasionally, sending me asks requesting my opinion on things/how I do things/what I know about XYZ topic. If you are one of these people, I promise I’m not vagueposting about you in particular- in fact, I love these questions! They’re so fun to get and they actually make me sit and think sometimes, or even encourage me to write out something that I’ve been meaning to for my book of shadows. Genuinely, they're wonderful asks to receive. These questions have made me confront something, however; my blog is still small, but some people actually like what I write and value my opinion even if just a little. 

I feel like a mimic hiding in the witchcraft community. I feel like, were people to truly understand my experiences, they would want to “expose” me for knowing so little.

So I sat down with those feelings and turned it over in my head and I’ve come to a conclusion. The fact is, I don’t do research. At least- not what I think of when people talk about research. My "research" consists of the occasional rabbit hole I go down, one and two halves of different books I never finished under my belt, what I see scrolling through various social medias, and conversations I've had with other witches. I check to make sure I'm not stepping on the toes of any closed practices- in fact, that's what most of my energy goes to when it comes to research. This isn't a complaint; I'd much rather know that my craft isn't appropriative.

But I don’t know much about mythology, even that of the deities I work with. I don't even remember the holidays and what they're for. I thought Nyx was an Egyptian deity until like four months ago because I'd just heard her name in passing as a child and had never looked into the mythology... Even though I mainly work with the pantheon she belongs to. Y’all, I’ve done like three spells that I remember. My book of shadows is a messy disaster and I love it but it's got so little information in it, because I rarely write things down. Most resources (especially mythology resources) are academically worded or difficult to read for me personally, and all of these things feel like secrets I have to guard with my life because if I were to ever say them aloud, people would know I'm a fraud.

Today I've come to the conclusion that that is, in fact, absolute bullshit.

Maybe it's not, maybe this post will make some people really upset, but in my practice it's bullshit. All of the above is a result of my ADHD and the fact that I am nothing if not a hands-on learner. My craft is mostly my own experiences because that's how my whole life is; I learn by doing. My ideal learning style is sitting with another autistic person whose special interest is whatever I'm learning about and just talking for five hours, but if that's not something I can do, puzzling it out myself is the next best thing. That's what I've been doing ever since I felt had a basic foundation for my craft. Hell, even before I had a foundation I was putting my own experiences into my craft because "Well that rule just doesn't fucking vibe with me."

This post is mostly for me, but partially for anyone who feels similar. We are not broken or doing witchcraft/paganism wrong. We are simply what happens when the kid who could never do homework ends up practicing the "religion/spirituality that comes with homework." Witchcraft and paganism, in my experience, is far from accessible when it comes to the typical image of it. UPG is what makes it accessible. So yes, my practice is heavily UPG, and I don't do as much research as I think people have assumed. But I'm going to let go of the idea that I'm a fraud, because frankly I know enough about witchcraft to have supported my practice this whole time and my deities haven't smited me yet so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TL:DR:

Fuck the rules, I don't do much research. I've researched the "basics" and what I need to so I'm not stepping on any toes of closed practices, but people seem to think I know way more than I actually do. I've felt like I was lying this whole time but frankly witchcraft just isn't accessible to someone with my flavor of auDHD, so my craft relies heavily on UPG and I've decided that I'm not broken or wrong for that and neither is anyone else. I'm tired of seeing myself as an imposter just because I make my practice doable for me.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

"Marry Me" || Part 1

PAIRING || Boyfriend!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Nurse!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || 4.1K

SUMMARY || Tony comes home from another gruesome mission and doesn't stay unharmed this time. As you take care of his wounds, he can't keep his thoughts to himself any longer, and he asks you to marry him in a way you never would have seen coming.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || Canon divergence. Everybody lives AU. Age gap.

WARNINGS || Injured!Tony Stark. Administration of painkillers through a shot.

SMUT || Teasing. Daddy kink. Praise. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Cream pie.

A/N || This story is dedicated to my best friend I could have ever wished for, @ccbsrmsf1. Carol, I cannot even begin to describe the gratefulness I feel for you and your friendship, because it’s not something that can be put into words. Thank you for being here for me through it all, eu te amo 💙

EVENTS Masterlist || @fandombingo || Sleepy morning sex Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || 'You make me feel like I am home again' Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || "I'm getting old." Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || Reassuring touches

Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || Don't make me laugh Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Wild || "I've got you." Masterlist || @seasonaldelightsbingo Language of flowers || The little spoon for the first time Masterlist || @sweetspicybingo Hurt/Comfort || "Are you okay?"

GIF: @ccbsrmsf1 || Graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist

It's been a week since you last saw your boyfriend - none other than Tony Stark himself - because he's been on a long and tiring mission to destroy the last few HYDRA bases that were left in Brazil. There has been little to no contact between you two, aside from the quick messages through JARVIS, the AI he built, to let you know he's still alive.

However, the message you received not even half an hour ago has you a little more worried than usual. During your many years as a nurse for SHIELD and Tony's private nurse, there's practically nothing you haven't lived through, but to know your boyfriend is hurt still sends shivers down your spine.

Tony has built a private exam room in his penthouse for moments like these, and you have treated many different wounds and injuries there. From ones obtained during missions to mishaps down in his lab, rarely a day goes by where something doesn't go wrong, but you love him for it. His clumsy nature is one of the things that attracted you to him in the first place.

Now, you're setting up the exam room after JARVIS's orders about Tony coming home soon and a brief description of his injuries, which you're thankful for. This means you're not going in blind as he arrives in your shared home.

When you put down the last instruments and bandages in the room, you hear the elevator door open, notifying you that Tony is back. As you walk out to greet him, your heart sinks into your stomach because the sight in front of you is one you will never get used to, no matter how many times you see it.

Tony is limping and heavily favoring his left leg over the right; he's clutching his arm to his ribs, and he's covered in countless little cuts and bruises, blood seemingly being everywhere. His clothes are torn, and his facial expression is a mix of both tiredness and sadness, but when he sees you, he instantly gets a shimmer in his eyes.

"Hi, Gorgeous," Tony whispers before wincing, his eyes shut tightly as a wave of undeniable pain shoots through his entire body.

"Hi, Beautiful," you say with a soft smile, right before herding him into the exam room so you can give him some painkillers. Tony carefully takes his place on the large exam table and sinks into it with a sigh, relief washing over him now that he's home and being taken care of.

As you walk around the room to prepare the last things for the examination, Tony can't stop looking at you. He admires seeing you in your element like this, and even though he's in a great deal of pain right now, he seems to forget it for just a moment now that he's in your presence again. He may not like anything related to the medical field, but he has learned to accept it since knowing you.

"How did the mission go?" you ask Tony in a calm, steady voice, your gaze focused on the cuts on his face while you clean them. Tony's lips curl into a small smile when you're this close to him. His deep, dark brown eyes follow every movement of your face, and he loves how the tip of your tongue pokes out when you're concentrating on something.

"There were some unforeseen difficulties, but overall, it went well. Got hit a few times, though, as you can tell," he says, and you chuckle at his words. That same chuckle has Tony's heart skipping a beat each time he hears the melodic sound falling from your lips.

"I'm glad you're safe now, though. I'm glad to have my man home again," you tell him, leaning in for a soft peck on his lips. As you pull away, Tony lets his head fall back against the table, a large smile on his lips and his mind going crazy. He's deeply in love with you, and having you call him 'your man' does things he can't explain.

Once his face is patched up, it's time to move on to his torso. But before you can do that, you'll have to remove his shirt, which causes a lot of groans and winces, but he knows it has to be done.

"It's okay, Beautiful. I've got you." Tony pushes for just one more moment until his shirt is off, and you gasp when it is as you look at the damage. A dark purple bruise covers most of his ribs and part of his chest and abdomen, and there are even more cuts and minor bruises littered over the rest of his torso.

"Oh my god," you say as you inspect it, and Tony looks at you apologetically, as if he wants to say sorry for being hurt like this.

"What happened?" you ask him, your brows furrowed in concern. He exhales shakily before telling you he got his ass kicked in some hand-to-hand combat when his suit didn't work. A lump forms in your throat as you try to treat him to the best of your abilities, but it's not easy when he has multiple broken ribs - they're the reason he was clutching his arm tightly against his chest and rib cage.

"Oh, you poor thing," you whisper as you look up at him, your hand cupping his cheek again.

"I think it's better if you take it easy for a while, Beautiful. I will give you a shot to help with the healing later, but this isn't going to go away with just that," you explain, and he nods. Deep inside, he's relieved to have to slow down a bit, as his life is fast-paced enough already. He's been wanting to spend more time with you at home, and this is the perfect way to do just that.

"I love you, Tony, but this is taking a big toll on you. I don't mind taking care of you and patching you up, but I also think that you should start thinking about retiring," you tell him, and even though it hurts to have to say to him, it's the right thing to do.

"I know, Gorgeous, and you're right. The fact that I'm getting old doesn't help my case either," he says with a sad smile as you take a seat on the edge of the exam table, grabbing his hand as you do.

"I'm not saying you should retire right away, but once you do, we might finally be able to start the family we've been dreaming of," you tell your boyfriend. He looks at you with such love and admiration as you say it; it's indescribable. The feeling swirling through your chests can't be put into words, but you both know you feel the same.

"Let's start now, Gorgeous. I don't care about being Iron Man or the Avengers; I want to start a family with you. I want to grow old with you. You are all I care about," he whispers, and you're fighting back tears at his admission. A soft 'okay' leaves your lips, and Tony squeezes your hand.

"But first, I have to finish patching you up, Beautiful. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to do anything without me having to do all the work," you joke, and Tony can't help but laugh, though as soon as he starts, he also stops as he winces in pain.

"Oh god, don't make me laugh, Gorgeous," Tony says with an amused smile. The two of you sit silently for a little while, and out of nowhere, you reach up to touch the tattoo on his chest, your name proudly shown on his skin forever.

Your fingers glide over it, and you look at it until Tony grabs your wrist carefully with his free hand, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them softly. More specifically, he kisses the place where he has been planning to put a ring for a few years now.

"I love you, Gorgeous. I'm the luckiest man on earth with you by my side," he whispers before bringing your digits to his mouth again and placing a lingering kiss, pouring every ounce of emotion into the one gesture.

"How're you feeling, Beautiful? Are you okay?" you ask Tony as you stand in the large shower in your shared home, the water cascading down on both of you as he holds you close to his body. Soft kisses and gentle touches are shared between you both as your back is against his chest, and your breathing patterns slowly sync up.

"Yeah, I'm doing much better with you in here with me," he tells you before kissing your temple softly. You smile at his words. Seeing his injuries, you offer to help him shower, and if there's one thing he never says no to, it's bringing you in there with him.

"I'm glad I can help you to feel better," you whisper as you turn around and wrap your arms around his waist. Your head is placed gently against his shoulder as your eyes slip shut, and you finally dare to sigh in relief. There's always a certain level of worry in your body as Tony is gone for missions, and you never dare to settle down until you know he's okay and safe with you.

"I can't stop thinking about starting a family with you," Tony tells you as he lets his hands wander over your hips and sides until they're splayed out over your belly, his thumbs rubbing the soft flesh as you smile into his touches.

"Having a few little ones running around with another one on the way, God, you'll be so beautiful when you're pregnant, Gorgeous," Tony says before pulling away, turning you around, and sinking to the ground, his face at the same level as your belly.

"I can already imagine the little feet kicking inside you as they're growing and how beautiful you will be as you have a pregnancy glow," Tony tells you as he rubs your belly softly with his cheek. Your hands carefully lace into his hair and rub softly, calming him down immensely.

"What would you like it to be? A boy or a girl?" you ask your boyfriend, who smiles at your question.

"Both." His answer is short and to the point, but he's already thought about it plenty of times. He's always dreamt of having at least one girl and one boy, but he will happily accept what the universe is willing to give you both.

"What about you, Gorgeous?" he says as he carefully looks up at you, his facial hair tickling your belly.

"Both," you say with a dopey smile, and Tony smiles before peppering your belly in kisses, making you laugh as his beard and mustache keep tickling you in your ticklish areas. Eventually, Tony gets up, pulling you against his chest, your head leaning against his shoulder once more while his hands rub over your back in a soothing pattern.

Before stepping into the shower, Tony has put on some background music, and you're both swaying back and forth to it as your boyfriend gathers the courage to ask you something important. Though he's been planning on making it a special moment, he also knows there won't be another moment more right than the one you're sharing now.

"Marry me."

At first, you're not sure you heard him correctly as you pull your head back. Your gaze meets his brown eyes, a large smile on his lips, and one of his brows quirked in excitement.

"Marry me, Gorgeous," he says again, and there's no denying it this time. Tony proposed to you, and a huge smile worked its way onto your face as tears fell down your cheeks. Out of all the moments he could have possibly chosen, you're not sure why he did it now, but it's perfect.

"Yes, I will marry you, Tony," you say before standing on your tiptoes and pulling him close. Your lips crash together as the excitement takes over your bodies. Tony's fingers dig into your sides as he's impossibly trying to pull you closer, even though there's no more space between you two.

"God, I can't believe you're going to become Mrs. Stark," he says with a breathy chuckle after pulling away for some much-needed air. Tony presses his forehead against yours as he tucks some wet strands of your hair behind your ear, your eyes focused only on each other.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Stark," you tell him, a flurry of butterflies in your stomach going wild as you say the words aloud. Future Mrs. Stark indeed has a nice ring to it.

"I love you so much, Gorgeous. I'm so lucky to have you say yes to marrying me. I've been dreaming of it for months," Tony emphasizes before capturing your lips again, not wanting to be away from your plump, soft lips for too long.

His hands wander over your bare back down to the globes of your butt, where he lets them rest for a little while, despite the slightly awkward angle of his body due to your height difference. He's always been obsessed with your butt, constantly touching it when you're together or slapping it during sex.

"I love you too, Tony," you whisper in his ear before turning off the shower and getting ready to sleep. It's not that late in the evening yet, but Tony needs his sleep to heal, and you're getting tired, too.

It doesn't take long for you both to be curled up under the covers, enjoying each other's warmth and closeness. However, Tony asked you to be the big spoon so he could be the little spoon for the first time.

"How's this?" you ask Tony as you place soft kisses between his shoulder blades. You can't reach any higher due to your significant height difference.

"Good," Tony murmurs, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as your fingers slowly lull him to sleep. They're tracing abstract patterns over his chest and around his arc reactor, and you can feel his breathing slowing down until it evens out.

"I love you, Beautiful," you whisper once Tony is asleep, and it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep. 

During the night, both you and your now fiancé slept like logs, and the shot you gave Tony yesterday has done an amazing job of healing him. Now, he's busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast for you while you're still curled under the warmth of the comforter of Tony's king-size bed.

Soft music plays in the kitchen while Tony scrambles a few eggs, and the smell of food brings a smile to Tony's face at the thought of surprising you with it later. While he prepares every last one of your favorite dishes, he's also preparing the tray to present to you later.

After working in the kitchen for another 30 minutes, the tray is adorned with a small bouquet of fresh flowers in a vase, the food he prepared, a steaming cup of tea, and a small, black ring box.

Now comes the real challenge for Tony—getting to the bedroom without dropping anything or scaring you. With careful steps, he makes his way over there, and much to his surprise, nothing spills or falls off, making him feel rather proud of himself.

The bedroom door is slightly ajar as he makes his way over, pushing it open further with his foot, before being greeted by you lying on your belly, the comforter halfway down your back, exposing your bare back to him, and he can't help but smile.

"G'morning, Sleepyhead," Tony says as you start waking up from the smell of fresh food. Tony is crouching next to the bed.

"How did you sleep, Gorgeous?" he asks as he wipes some hair out of your face to expose your beautiful smile and sleepy expression. His heart beats faster when he sees his future wife lying in his bed, smiling at him, and he has rarely felt this fortunate.

"Amazing, what about you?" you ask before sitting up and stretching out some of the sleep. That's when you notice the food Tony prepared. It's all there, from fresh waffles and scrambled eggs to fresh fruit and your favorite tea.

"I haven't slept this good in a long time; I think I should be the little spoon more often," Tony tells you as he gets up and reaches for something on the tray. Once his fingers are curled around it, you notice it's a small, velvety box, and your heart immediately starts to pump faster - an engagement ring.

While you look at your fiancé getting into position, you put your hand over your mouth in disbelief, as you didn't expect him to propose first thing in the morning, but here he is, going down on one knee.

"Gorgeous; from the moment I met you, I knew that your presence in my life would be one of immeasurable worth, and you have proven me more than right. From all the times you have patched me up after missions, and from all the nights we stayed up talking when one of us needed it most, they're all cherished deep within my heart," he starts, and you start tearing up as you listen to him propose.

"Before we got together, I didn't care if I lived or died, but when you asked me out on a date, I knew I had someone worth living for - someone who's worth fighting for. I knew I wanted to come home from the moment you moved in with me because you made me feel like I was home again."

You stretch out your hand, and Tony grabs it before squeezing it carefully. Soft sniffles escape as the words sink in with you. Your heart is going into overdrive, and the butterflies in your stomach are going wild, but it's more than worth it.

"Y/N Y/L/N, will you officially give me the honor of becoming the future Mrs. Stark and marrying me?" After flipping open the box, Tony asks, and you nod enthusiastically, a broken 'yes' leaving your lips before wrapping your arms around your fiancé.

He quickly sits down on the edge of the bed as you two let the tears flow freely, the breakfast he prepared long forgotten as you're basking in the glory of the moment. Tony has slipped the ring on your finger, and you can't stop looking at it from every angle.

"It's beautiful, Tony," you tell him while you look at the ring and slowly work on eating the breakfast he prepared. He constantly feeds you the fresh fruit and waffles while stealing a kiss between each bite, while he happily lets you feed some of the eggs and toast he prepared for himself, which goes paired with even more stolen kisses.

"I can't believe you went down on one knee for me first thing in the morning!" you tell him with a soft smack against his chest. He smiles before rubbing his nose against yours lovingly.

"I'm glad I did, though. I've been carrying that thing around for literal years at this point but never found the right moment. It turns out I just needed to have you take care of me for it to be the right moment," he says in a soft voice, and you feel the goosebumps rising on your neck.

"How about you let me take care of you for once?" Tony asks as he peppers a royal amount of kisses over your cheek and jaw, making you moan softly as his teeth graze over the edge of it, your nipples immediately pebbling at the feeling of it.

"Please," you whisper as you look into his eyes, lust visible in them. Before you know it, Tony has put the tray on the floor, and the comforter pulled off your body, revealing your entirely bare body to him. He gets comfortable between your legs after you've spread them, and his mouth descends on your neck and collarbone, sucking soft bruises into the skin.

Your fingers are laced in his hair as he takes his time marking you up, his hips rutting his cock against your soft, dripping pussy as he does. Soft moans tumble from your lips as you tug on his hair, and the feeling of his lips and tongue, together with his facial hair, is driving you insane as he takes his time.

"D-Daddy," you whine as his tip gets caught on your sensitive clit, and he smiles against your skin before lifting his head and meeting your gaze. Your eyes are already half-lidded, and your lip is raw from all the biting, but Tony has never seen a more beautiful sight.

"What is it, Sweet Mama? Are you gettin' a little impatient?" he asks teasingly, and you nod shyly.

"Want you inside me, Daddy," you tell him, and he's never been able to say no when you ask him so nicely. He reaches down to guide himself to your entrance; his gaze focused on your expression as he slides in his long, thick cock.

You spread your legs a little more to accommodate every last inch of him, and you both moan in unison as he bottoms out. You instantly clench down on his cock, and he kisses you softly as you get adjust to him being inside you again.

"You're taking me so well, Gorgeous. Você é uma garota tão boa," he whispers in your ear. Your cheeks heat up as you hear him calling you a good girl in Portuguese. Before you met Tony you spent a few years in Brazil, and you have taught him quite a bit of Portuguese for his mission, but you didn’t teach him that, but goosebumps crawl across your skin as you smile at his words.

After Tony called you that, you clench around him even harder, making Tony bury his face in your neck. In a bold moment, you surprise Tony by landing a loud, hard smack on his ass, and the jerk of his body only drives his cock even deeper into you.

"So tight, Babygirl, 's so fucking tight around my cock, can feel you milkin' me already," he groans, and he sets a slow pace once you're finally allowing him to move. Every inch of his thick, veiny cock feels like heaven as he takes his time, and you let your head sinks into the soft pillows as you look at your fiancé.

"I love you so much," he says as he lets his hand glide over your arm until he reaches the hand with the engagement ring on it. He brings the ring to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. His eyes are locked onto yours as he does, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach go wild.

"I love you too, Tony," you say before pulling him down for a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers interlace with yours as he keeps building your high. The atmosphere in your bedroom is still cozy from the night, and with Tony's comfortable, slow pace, you can feel yourself almost slipping into a drowsy state.

"I want you to cum for me, Gorgeous, I'm so close to filling you up," Tony whispers as he noses along your jaw, and your back arches into him at the words, your senses on high alert as you're getting ready to fall over the edge. Out of nowhere, he also grabs your other hand, pinning them both above your head as he picks up the pace, chasing both your highs.

"God, keep milkin' me, Babygirl, milk Daddy's cock like a good fuckin' girl," he growls, and before you know it, you're both falling over the edge simultaneously. He keeps working you both through your orgasms, and when you're both finished, he pulls out before pulling you against his chest as he falls to the side.

You're both panting as you let your head rest on his chest, your fingers gliding over your name on his chest again.

"I would love to add even more names to your tattoo. I think it's also the perfect spot to add our children's names," you say dreamily as you think about having a few little ones running around in the future.

"I thought so too, Gorgeous," Tony says, and it's the last thing you know before letting your eyes slip shut, and sleep quickly takes over. The rest of the day, neither of you leaves the bed as you make love for hours, never getting enough of one another.

Today marks the first day of the rest of your lives together, and you can't wait to see what the future has in store for you both.

[ltash]

Promise

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Aristotle

The chirping of birds and the warmth of the morning sun filtered through the curtains, gently waking me. I felt a hand softly brushing through my hair as I opened my eyes.

"Good morning, love," I heard him say, his voice a deep, comforting rumble.

He was sitting beside me, his fingers tenderly threading through my hair. A cup of hot tea was placed on the side table, steam curling up invitingly. I noticed he had already changed his clothes-he was wearing a black buttoned casual shirt and jeans.

What caught my attention most was his face, fully visible without the usual mask.

I sat up, blinking away the remnants of sleep. "Good morning," I replied, my voice still groggy. "Your mask." I pointed, curious about his choice.

"No need for it today," he said with a faint smile. "Nobody's coming. We're on our own."

"Soap said that you sleep with it," I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled, a rare sight. "Yes, but back there. Not here in front of you."

"Simon, when am I going to meet your family?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

His expression shifted, a shadow passing over his face. "Unfortunately, never."

"What? Why?" I pressed, confused and concerned.

"They're all gone," he sighed, the weight of his words hanging in the air.

"Gone? Where?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"To heaven," he replied quietly.

A shock and a wave of grief pierced through me. Without thinking, I pulled him into a hug, cupping his face in my hands. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, feeling his pain as if it were my own. "You've lost everyone and you're still helping me through all this."

He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He was a man who had endured unimaginable loss, yet he stood strong, protecting me. I realized then just how much he meant to me and how much I wanted to be there for him, just as he had been for me.

"Nora!" he said, looking into my eyes with a seriousness that made my heart skip a beat. "I need to talk to you."

"Yes, I'm listening," I replied, holding his gloved hands gently in mine, feeling the warmth through the fabric.

"You know, my job requires me to go to different places. We are deployed here and there every now and then. The missions are dangerous and life-threatening," he paused, his eyes searching mine for understanding.

"We can lose our lives anytime we're on a mission. Also, I can't keep any relationships during my job because relationships come with expectations, and I can't fulfill any expectations. I'm not in a position to," he said, his voice heavy with the weight of his words.

I tightened my grip on his hands, searching his eyes for any sign of hope. "But Simon, I don't need you to fulfill any expectations. I just need you," I whispered, my voice trembling.

His eyes softened for a moment before the steel returned. "Nora, it's not that simple. My work... it's a constant danger. I can't put you through that."

"You're not putting me through anything. I'm choosing to be here with you," I insisted, my resolve strengthening. "We'll figure it out together, no matter what."

He looked at me, a mixture of admiration and sorrow in his eyes. "You're braver than anyone I've ever known. But I don't want to be the reason you suffer."

I shook my head. "Simon, you're the reason I feel alive. We can't predict the future, but we can face it together. Isn't that worth something?"

For a moment, he was silent, the internal battle evident on his face. Then, he pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. "Alright, Nora. We'll try. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything," I said, my voice muffled against his chest.

"Promise me you'll stay safe, no matter what happens."

"I promise," I whispered, closing my eyes and holding on to him with everything I had.

"I will always be here for you, Simon," I said, my voice steady with conviction. "Waiting for you to come back whenever you get time. I will also try to visit you from time to time. Don't worry! I will handle everything. I will handle Papa Price too, since he is the only one I see after my dad was assassinated."

Simon's eyes softened, a rare vulnerability showing through. "Nora, you're incredible. I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that," I replied, cupping his face in my hands. "You deserve all the love and support in the world. You've been through so much, and you're still here, still fighting. That means something."

He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes for a moment. "You're my strength," he whispered. "I don't know how I'll manage without you, but knowing you're here, waiting... it gives me something to hold on to."

"And I'll always be here," I assured him. "No matter what. We'll get through this together."

He opened his eyes, filled with a determination that matched my own. "Together," he echoed.

A small part from the new episode of my novel.

[blaiddraws]

If i were to make a fangame would i be allowed to include the wormy boys(and girl?) Context: thinking about creating a fangame set in the far future[300-9000 years] based on a mental thought experiment i did based on, how life would evolve on an completely irradiated world, and its adaptations and quirks(assuming the first problem of genetic fuckery, and biological fuckery gets solved by more lead dense cell walls)

sounds like an interesting premise! however i think i would have to decline, no hard feelings. It just doesn't seem like the kind of setting the worm squad would have a good time in. yanno? it doesn't fit the spirit (??) of the au, for lack of a better description.

but if you wanna make characters/creatures Based Off Them then i have no problem with it at all!

[maggot-monger]

the difference between writing for my own highest standards of quality and writing because i need the ideas to exist somewhere...unsure how to qualify this difference but it is a decision to make every time i start writing

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I desperately just want to sleep

[drchucktingle]

Chuck, how do you deal with people who are rude about you and your work? I write queer romance and I want to put my writing out there for people to read, but I'm a very sensitive person and I know it will be hard not to take insults personally and let them affect me. I don't want to let that stop me from expressing myself and sharing my art, but I'm scared!

very good question buckaroo. i am a good example of this as pretty much EVERYONE was rude about my work for many years calling it 'so bad its good' (it is just good) and 'terrible photoshop' (i think it has a great and instantly recognizable style) and 'intentionally stupid premises' (i dont think there is anything stupid about sex being fun and whimsical and playful). even these days the reaction of the VAST majority of buckaroos who discover chuck have this reaction AT FIRST, and then learn to appreciate the tingleverse in a more sincere way over time.

all that is to say BEING DOUBTED HAS WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR ME. art that changes meaning over time can be very powerful, so if someones initial reaction to my trot is one thing and then it evolves into another thing, well that is just good art. while it can feel bad to get a bad review, i would say a bad review just means you have entered a realm of tension and change and discord and WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT ART BUD so that, in itself, is very exciting.

i think of what i do as 'punk writing', and a big part of that means pushing against preconceived sensibilities. not many other authors will proudly say 'there SHOULD be some spelling errors in my erotic shorts because i wrote it in a day and edited it once. that is the FEELING i want to create', but that is my way. by creating what is in my soul i KNOW i am going to bother some buckaroos and that is okay.

now i am NOT assuming you are also doing punk writing (that is okay of course we all have our own styles. what i am doing with tinglers is pretty rare), but it still stands to remember that there are 7.8 billion people on the planet of this dang timeline and some of them are bound to be bothered by your creations. that is not a problem, that is just part of baring your authentic self.

the other thing to remember is theres no REAL right or wrong in art. it can be analyzed in different ways and i tend to look at it in a way of comparing intention to result, but even THAT is not strictly correct. therefore any bad review of something you make is not actually BAD it is just someones information and feedback for you to take or leave. a one star review is just another opinion, it is no more right or wrong than your own opinion, and that is wonderful. it is freeing.

if i see a bad review of my own book, lets just say CAMP DAMASCUS for instance, i do not get upset because i know this: that reviewer is not wrong. camp damascus is five stars for me, but it is one star for someone else AND THAT IS OK. THAT IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. THAT IS GREAT ART. also MAYBE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN I DO. just because i wrote the book does not mean i am the authority on it, and the conversation and tension between those that enjoy something and those that despise it is a creative act. the audience engaging with your work is just your art emerging from its cocoon and saying 'here i am. lets see where i flutter off to now'

do not fear the river of this timeline sweeping away your creations and carrying them where it will. this is inevitable, but it is also beautiful and freeing. you cannot swim against it and that is okay bud, because YOU HAVE ALREADY WON. you have already created something and given a piece of yourself back to this timeline and that is a great honor and privilege. it is literally all there is

by creating ANYTHING you are proving love is real, and that is something to be proud of

[inkskinned]

she's three years younger than i am, and i put on cascada as a throwback, cackling - before your time! i've been borrowing my brother's car, and it's older than dirt, so the trunk is like, maybe permanently locked. when the sun comes through the window to frame her cheekbones, i feel like i'm 16 again. i shake when i'm kissing her, worried i won't get it right.

in 2003, my state made gay marriage legal. where she grew up, it wasn't legal until 11 years later - 10 years ago. if legal protections for gay marriage were a person, that person would be entering 5th grade. online, a white gay man calls the fight for legal marriage boring, which isn't kind of him but it is a common enough opinion.

it has only been 9 years since gay marriage was nationally official. it is already boring to have gay people in your tv. it is already boring to mention being gay - "why make it your entire personality?" i know siblings that have a larger age gap than the amount of time it's been legally protected. i recently saw a grown man record himself crying about how evil gay people are. he was begging us, red in the face - just do better.

i am absolutely ruined any time my girlfriend talks about being 27 (i know!! a child!), but we actually attended undergrad at the same time since i had taken off time to work between high school and college. while walking through the city, we drop our hands, try not to look too often at each other. the other day i went to an open mic in a basement. the headlining comedian said being lesbian isn't interesting, but i am a lesbian, if you care. as a joke, she had any lesbian raise their hand if present. i raised mine, weirdly embarrassed at being the single hand in a sea of other faces. she had everyone give me a round of applause. i felt something between pride and also throwing up.

sometimes one thing is also another thing. i keep thinking about my uncle. he died in the hospital without his husband of 35 years - they were not legally wed, so his husband could not enter. this sounds like it should be from 1950. it happened in 2007. harassment and abuse and financial hardship still follow any person who is trying to get married while disabled. marriage equality isn't really equal yet.

and i don't know that i can ever put a name to what i'm experiencing. sometimes it just feels... so odd to watch the balance. people are fundamentally uninterested in your identity, but also - like, there's a whole fucking bastion of rabid men and women who want to kill you. your friends roll their eyes you're gay we get it and that is funny but like. when you asked your father do you still love me? he just said go to your room. you haven't told your grandmother. disney is on their 390th "first" gay representation, but also cancelled owl house and censored the fuck out of gravity falls. you actively got bullied for being gay, but your advisor told you to find a different gimmick for your college essay - everyone says they're gay these days.

once while you were having a hard day you cried about the fact that the reason our story is so fucking boring to so many people is that it is so similar. that it is rare for one of us to just, like, have a good experience across the board. that our stories often have very parallel bends - the dehumanization, the trauma, the trouble with trusting again. these become rote instead of disgusting. how bad could it be if it is happening to so many people?

i kiss my girlfriend when nobody is looking. i like her jawline and how her hands splay when she's making a joke. there is nothing new about this story, sappho. i love her like opening up the sun. like folding peace between the layers of my life, a buttercream of euphoria, freckles and laughter and wonder.

my dad knows about her. i've been out to him since i was 18 - roughly four years before the supreme court would protect us. the other day he flipped down the sun visor while driving me to the eye doctor. "you need to accept that your body was made for a husband. you want to be a mother because you were made for men, not women." he wants me to date my old high school boyfriend. i gagged about it, and he shook his head. he said - "don't be so dramatic. you can get used to anything."

the other day a straight friend of mine snorted down her nose about it, accidentally echoing him - she said there are bigger problems in this world than planning a wedding.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[vaspider]

Last year I wrote about what happened at Pride when a couple of kids didn't understand why us older folx were so bitter about Reagan.

This year, I have something a little softer.

Someone who looked a little older than me came up to the booth wearing a pink t-shirt proclaiming him one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco chapter. As I was ringing him up, I asked if he'd been involved for a while.

"Yes," he said, "for a bit," in that way us middle-aged people do when we're sort of wincing and feeling old.

"Okay, well," I said, sitting at my register in my queer booth full of queer clothes and patches and pins, topless in public for the first time. (I had pasties on for my own comfort bc I was working, but I live in the city of the Naked Bike Ride, and I took full advantage). My baby brother and both of my partners ran around behind me, my brother wearing a loose tank top that makes his scars visible.

"I need to tell you that you all helped keep me alive."

He blinked at me as I continued, "I was a kid in high school in the early 90s. I lived in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, and what you all were doing was so loud and so out there that even I heard about your work. It was one of the things that kept me alive. So thank you, and please thank the rest of the Sisters."

I heard about them through people in my parents' church complaining about them, and then I sought more information through the beginning of the internet, through newspapers, through anything I could find. I found the cover of Newsweek that one of the Sisters was on. I read about their "exorcism" of fundamentalist preachers whose books sat on the shelf in my parents' basement and probably still do. I saw how loud and colorful and unapologetically queer they were.

The knowledge that someone was out there, so full of defiant joy, refusing the shame that people kept trying to put on them? Oh, that kept me alive. I saw them, and I knew I could make it through. I wrapped my hands around that knowledge, and I held on so tight.

It took me a long time - a long, long time - to unwind most of it for myself and get to the point where my fat butch ass was sitting bare-chested in the July breeze, looking up at him as he held out his arms and said "you're actually giving me chills." I answered, "I mean every word. You helped keep me alive. So thank you."

I never know what to say when people come up to me in public and tell me that I helped them or changed their life in some way. I appreciate it, and I genuinely love the people who apologized for "fanpersoning" at me last weekend, I just never know what to say. I'm incredibly grateful that the Sister I spoke to was incredibly gracious, saying "usually we give blessings, but I feel like you blessed me." Another member of the party let me pet their tiny dog, who was not very interested in me, and that's okay. It was an overwhelming day. Then, they moved on.

Me? I'm still sitting with the fact that I looked last weekend into the faces of people who didn't know they were holding my head above water, and that I got to tell them the work they do matters. It's a rare thing to get to tell someone, "You saved me," and I'm treasuring it.

Last weekend, I wore my new battle vest with nothing underneath it, unless it was too hot, and then I just sat in my chair, chatting and ringing ppl out with my skin free to the air. I decided last year that top surgery isn't for me, but that also I'm going to love this body unapologetically, and it's no less a transmasculine body because the soft new dark hair on my belly isn't accompanied by pink scars along my ribs.

I didn't get here on my own. I got here because someone else cut through the undergrowth ahead of me so I could take another step forward. Here I am, decades later, still taking step after step, one at a time, and trying to lay paving stones behind me.

Last weekend was another step along that way, another step through unwinding the fear and shame and sadness that my parents and their church built into me. Another step out of hating myself for hiding parts of myself for so long, for acting out in other ways to distract people from my queerness, for feeling so much guilt when other people tell me I'm brave, because I know how much of myself I hid for how long because I was a coward, because I was afraid.

Another step into expiating stigmatic guilt.

[serotonins-stuff]

3 am preggy cravings

Jjk men ° • . • ° •

------------ ------♥︎--------- ----------

♡︎Sypnosis: You wake up in the early hours of the morning craving your favorite snack. Luckily your husband is always there to help you.

♡︎Featuring: Gojo, Toji, nanami, Geto and Choso

♡︎Warnings: none just, fluff and kisses

------ -----------♥︎------------ -------

-----• ° • .-----

Gojo

It was rare for the both of you to be up like this, at three am with Satoru staring at his paperwork in the bedroom.

You told him that you were just going to go to the bathroom, but then a sudden craving for ice cream hit.you like a truck.That's how you found yourself sitting on the kitchen floor, teary eyed as you stared at the freezer vacant of any sweet treat.

This was probably the most heartbreaking thing you've experienced this week. Tears turned into sniffles which then led to soft whimpers, and not long after your despair you heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.

He was worried out of his mind that something might've happened to you, but he was confused when he could not sense any kind of threatening aura.

"Baby?"

His laid eyes of your slumped figure and jumped into action, craddling your trembling figure in his warm arms.

"Hey" he cooed, wiping your tears away and lifting your chin up to look at him. You were in perfectly good shape, so if he had to take a guess, he'd say it has to be some sort of pregnancy thing. "What's wrong sweets?“

"Toru" you wailed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He could feel goosebumps rise on his skin from the contact of your chilled flesh. The freezer was open, displaying the broad selection of different meats.

"You wanna cook?" He asked and you shook your head. He pondered for a bit, a hand rubbing your back soothingly while you cuddled up into him.

"Were you feelin cold?"

You shook your head, causing him to run a nervous hand through his white locks. He looked at you with a soft smile on his face.

"Sweetheart I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong"

You felt stupid for what you were about to say. Adamantly so, you didn't think you'd be able to go to sleep without having the cool taste of your favorite ice cream clouding your senses. The tears wounlnt stop coming out and you cursed yourself internally for behaving like this.

"I'm cra-craving ice-cream" you hicupped, letting all the tears flow onto Satorus shirt.

He didn't seem to mind, he was actually relieved because he thought something mighve actually been wrong.

"Okay, c'mon" he cooed, rubbing nice.and tender circles on your big belly. "I can't have my sweet girl cryin on the floor"

"I didn't want t-to bother y-"

"Shhhhh" he whispered, before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. "Don't worry about stuff like that, I'll go get your ice cream ok?"

You nodded, before lifting your hand to shut the freezer. Still sitting pretty in your husbands arms. He stayed with you until you hand calmed down, making sure to give you all the cuddles, kisses and love you needed before lifting you up effortlessly and plopping you onto the bed.

Like a man on a mission he grabbed his keys on the counter and went to the store. It didn't even take him more than ten minutes before he was back home, a bag of ice cream tubs in hand.

He put some in the fridge and took one for you, strolling up to the bedroom with two spoons in hand.

There you were sound asleep on your side, mouth slightly agape as soft snores poured from your lips. Satoru couldn't help but smile softly to himself, walking over to his side and giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

His head then trailed down to your big bump and he stared at it lovingly. "Whatcha doin to your momma huh?" He asked before chuckling to himself. As the mother of his child he could never ask for more than this. You were perfect, even when you have him running to the store to buy ice cream at three am.

"Damn this tastes good" he hummed, devouring the contents of the ice cream tub next to your sleeping figure.

Nanami

Even if you had wanted to sneak into the pantry, Nanamis death grip on you didn't give you the chance. Whenever you moved he furrowed his brows before snuggling his face where it had grown comfortable in the crook of your neck.

You couldn't help but crave your favorite flavor of ice cream, which had somehow ran out a week ago.

You wouldn't be able to go to the store and buy it because Kento would never let you lay a hand on store bought food. He makes everything from scratch, just for you with the freshest ingredients in the house. The store bought one didn't even come close to being as good as his, which takes a few hours to make. It would probably be bothersome to tell him you wanted some at this time of the hour.

You shifted uncomfortably, rubbing your husbands callused knuckles which pulled your chest close to his. This was painful, having to endure such a craving that only the sleeping man next to you could provide.

You sighed once more before shuffling in his arms, and finally you heard him shuffle in response.

"Hm?" He hummed "What's wrong love?"

His voice was raspy and you couldn't help but feel guilty at the fact that you had just some him from his peaceful slumber.

"Uh well" you paused, tapping on his hands nervously. "Nothing, it's not important"

His hands traveled down to your stomach and settled there comfortably "It's important if it has you unable to sleep at this hour"

"Are you and the baby alright?" He said sleepily into the crook of your neck.

"Yeah we're fine I just- well- randomly started craving ice cream?"

He let out a sigh of relieve, before reaching over to the nightstand on his side and flicking the lamp on.

You were confused right now, more so distraught that your personal heater had just decided to get up and stumble out of the door without a word.

In the distance you heard the fridge open and the clinking of cutlery before his footsteps returned. His hair was messy, and he was stumbling over his feet, cursing internally at the random objects on the ground.

Despite being so disorientated after waking up, he still got up with no questions, fully determined on getting you what you wanted.

You never thought you'd start tearing up at the sight of your adorable husband, shirtless with a tub of ice cream in his hand, helping you sit up by putting pillows beind your back.

"You're so sweet Ken" you cooed, opening the tub to gawk at its delicious contents "When did you even make this?"

"I made sure to stock up on all your favorite craving snacks, just in case"

He didn't want to fall asleep until you were satisfied with your fill, and when you were he gladly pulled you back into his arms

His hand was on your cheek and he wiped of any residue left of the ice cream, tilting your face to look at him in the process.

"Don't be so hesitant to ask me next time"

"Even if its 2am in the morning?"

"Whether it is am or pm does not concern me, I will wake up at any time if it means making the mother of my child happy ok?"

Toji

His legs were tangled with yours, his big strong hands wrapped around your body almost like a shield.

It would be quite impossible to get up without waking him up, which was the last thing you wanted. His instincts were on point, meaning he'd catch you instantly if you so much as inhaled too hard.

You sighed, and immediately regretted it when you felt him shift.

"Somethin wrong?" He rasped, the sound of his voice reverberating against your ear.

"I just need to get up" you groaned, trying to pry his arm off of you. It was no use being sneaky now that he was awake.

You could feel him look at you with a raised brow, not moving an inch from your prying hands. You thought he'd be annoyed with you till his chest shook with laughter. "Sit your pregnant ass down"

You deadpanned which only seemed to made him more amused. Swiftly he hooked his arms under you and carfied you princess style, giving you no time at all to retaliate.

You could already hear the cheekiness in his voice when he looked down at your cute form. "Where to?"

Of course he wasn't going to let you go there by yourself, not after the last time you tripped.

"The kitchen please"

He carried you with such ease even though you had another human being literally growing in your tummy. The ride wasn't bumpy at all, and you could barely feel a thing as he maneuvered you through the house. In the dark may you add.

You felt the coolness of the kitchen against your skin and shivered slightly.

"You can put me down now Toji" you mumbled into his chest. Hesitantly he put you on your feet and watched intently as you waddled over the the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice cream.

His heart warmed at the sight of you disheveled hair and growing belly. It was moments like these were he admired you the most, where you just happily lived your life next to him.

You were looking around for a spoon, but stopped when you saw two of them shining in your husbands hands.

He was looking at you with that face again, the one of admiration were he studied you closely. Shyly, you looked away from him and he laughed before switching the lights off and pulling you into his arms again.

Soon you were seated cross legged in front of him while he fed you ice cream. Occasionally he'd kiss the spots where the dessert would get smudged on your face. He was giving you the prinsess treatment you deserved and he could've never asked for anything more.

"You're so pretty y'know that?" he questioned genuinely, before eating a spoonful of ice cream "Carrying our kid n'all"

This time he was the one with a smidge of ice cream on the corner of his mouth. Mischievioudly you pulled his face close to yours and swiftly licked it off, leaving him shook in his place.

"It's all thank to you for taking such good care of me" you smiled.

"Nuh uh" he wagged his finger, "It's what I'm supposed to do- yer the one who's doing all the growing"

Your heart melted from his statement and you pulled his fave down to kiss the ice cream that was smudged onto his cheek.

"You're too sweet Toji" you said with a smile, and you swear you could see the slight pink tinge of his cheeks.

Choso

His insomniac ass was getting not a single wink of sleep, especially after his most recent mission.

You thought you had successfully snuck off to the pantry to get yourself some snacks. Until you heard crunching behind you nd you flinched.

"You scared me" you whispered, clutching your hand to your chest. His eyes stared at your figure which was trying to reach a box at the top of he shelf. You huffed in annoyance when your fingers touched the box, moving it further away from where you wanted it.

You were about to get a stepping stool before the warm figure of your husband clouded behind you. The smell of the sweets he was eating lingering from his face. He reached up with ease, and brought the box of snacks down for you.

You plopped down onto the couch before switching the tv. You opened your arms to offer your husband cuddles, considering he was following toy around like a lost puppy.

You laid on your back ond he lay on your stomach, occasionally giving your grown belly a kiss and rubs of affection. You stayed like this for a while, just letting the time pass with Choso in your arms, his head resting on your stomach.

He felt a kick and his eyes widened. "Looks like someones a bit feisty huh?"

He then stares up at your sleeping figure, mouth agape and packet of chips in hand as you snored away.

"Just like your mama"

Geto

"Sweetheart" he sighed next to you, rubbing your back as you stood in the pantry. Frustrated to find that the food you were craving was no here to be found.

Geto was kind enough to help you in your search. He didn't get mad when you just stood there with tears staining your eyes and his tshirt.

You huffed into his chest, melting into his strong arms wrapped around your trembling figure. They were warm and welcoming, on top of that he also smelled good and you couldn't help but feel safe listening to the thump of his heart.

"C'mon" he cooed, before pulling away to wipe the tears on your face. "I'll go get it for you yeah?"

"But it's three in the morning"

Nothing was cuter than your tear stained face, pouting at him right now. The urge to squish your cheeks took over and his fingers were on either side of your face. He brought your face closer to his and planted a nice plump kiss on your puckered lips.

"If you're hungry, then that doesn't matter" he smiled, his hand traveling down to your very noticable bump. "As long as you're happy then it's fine, plus the little one's doing quite the number on you anyway- so you need all the food you can get"

You pulled him into a sudden embrace and he chuckled. "Thanks Sugu"

"Anytime baby"

His plan was to quickly get in the car to get your food, then come back. Though that changed slightly when he heard your light footsteps follow him into the garage.

It was far too late for you to be up and about right now, but he didn't have the guts to tell you to , because that would only add to your sadness.

He opened the door for you, held your hand to help you in and even reached over to click your seatbelt into place.

He closed your door and hoped in on his side, connecting the aux cable to his phone to play music that usually calms you down.

He observed your cute figure as you softly let your hand caress your belly. Staring at your bump with nothing but adoration.

"The food I'm craving is bit far from here" you shuffled "Is that ok?"

He chuckled softly and put the car in gear "I'll take you wherever you wanna go"

----- • ° • .•°•. -----

End

[lyneira]

♤ "Not worthy?" I'll show you differently ♤

SMUT - MINORS DNI

-> how would he react to a reader who's self-conscious and ends up distancing themselves from him when others insult them and say that they shouldn't be together? (based on this request!)

All characters are depicted as 18+

fem!reader x twisted wonderland characters / cw: penetration, cunnilingus, fingering, blowjob, mirror sex

"I'll make you feel loved enough that you won't forget it"

Epel, LEONA, Jack, Ace, Silver, Floyd

I don't see them viewing it as a big problem initially because he's confident that he'll be able to make things right quickly. You just need some reassurance, that's all.

He's not going to confront you directly. He won't need to; His actions toward you would be enough to say that what others were saying was indefinitely wrong.

He'll become more handsy and more forward with his PDA, always making sure that he's holding you or touching you in some way. He'll put his hand on your waist and pull you in close, seldom ever releasing his grasp on you; He'll kiss you more often, ensuring to elongate the kiss for a long time even when there were a lot of people around. When he'd pull away, allowing you to take a breath, he'd shoot a glare at anyone who was staring, daring them to say something.

He'll do all of this as to indirectly tell you, "Hey, I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I'm not letting you go". Yet, if you were still acting distant, then he'd have no choice but to confront you directly.

When he finally does, he'll back you into a corner and ask with frustration, "How come you're still distancing yourself from me? Am I not showing you enough affection?" He'll then lower his tone, "You don't need to run away from me...I love you, y/n...and there's nothing that anyone can say that will ever change that...", looking at you with that rare softness in his eyes that he only showed when he was pouring his heart out. And that's how you know he really meant it.

That look would further soften when you suddenly hug him tightly, and after melting in each other’s arms, he'll whisper into your ear, "I'll make sure you understand how much I love you tonight. Remember this moment whenever you find yourself doubting it"

And when you two make love that night, he'll seem a bit rough initially. He'll be pinning arms above your head, grasped tightly, kissing you ferociously that your teeth often clash, sucking on your skin so intensely, leaving marks of purple, and thrusting himself into you with so much force that you feel like the bed is going to break (which, it almost does, heh)

But after his first climax, releasing his remaining frustrations, he'll slow it down, also releasing his tight grip on your wrists to embrace you protectively, kissing up and down your neck as he thrusts long, slow strokes into you. He'd be all over you. His hands, his lips, and his tongue would again caress every spot on your body, especially on the spots he left a hickey on. He'd kiss them softly, and would cheekily smile into your skin, knowing that these marks would be visible for all to see the next day. After all, they need to know that you belong to him, just as his heart belongs to you.

"Can you SEE how much I love you?"

VIL, Jade, Rook, Jamil, Lilia, Rollo, Azul

You're self conscious? On his watch? Absolutely not.

Seems like you need to SEE how much he loves you in order to really believe it. So after quickly dealing with those who had planted their foolish ideas into your mind, he'll immediately take you to his room to help you confront your problem head on.

He'll be sitting at the edge of his bed, as he speaks to you, "Dear, I've noticed that you've been shying away from me because you've become self-conscious...you need not be. Do not listen to what others say, they don't matter. I adore you just as you are."

When he sees you finally ease up by his words, he'll smile tenderly at you and will then pat his thigh, "Come here..."

You do as you are told, and when you get close to him, he'll suddenly pull you onto his lap, wrapping his arms firmly around your waist, trapping you in his embrace. Funny thing is, up until now, you hadn't realized the grand mirror that was in front of you two. Had he always had that there? In fact, he did not. But today, he needed it for his plan to help you become less conscious. Oh, you're in for it now 😏

"I'm glad you've noticed the mirror. Keep your eyes on it...no matter what I do", he'll mention as he narrows his look into your eyes in its reflection, and you can definitely tell he was plotting something. You were about to ask about it until he surprises you with a multitude of kisses up and down your neck and down your shoulders. If you asked if you could face him, he'd immediately turn you down, telling you to look into the mirror.

And as he became more sensual, letting his hands roam up your body to cup your breasts and fondle them as he continued to kiss your jaw and insisted you to keep your eyes glued to the mirror, you eventually realized his plan: he was going to make you watch yourself as he made love to you.

You figured that it would be easy to endure, but soon enough, you'd think otherwise as he'd further surprise you with his touches.

He'd bring his hands down to your waistband and begin pulling your pants off so that your lower half was now bare. Then, bringing his hands back up to your thighs, he'd begin to spread your legs open slowly, while looking in the mirror to enjoy the view of your pussy all soaking wet for him. "Ah~ You're so wet", he'll grin, eyes half-lidded at the sight. He'll hover a hand over your heat and begins to rub his middle finger up and down your slick, earning a shudder from you. After rubbing it enough, he'll insert it into your hole, massaging your insides and finding that sensitive spot that has you squeezing onto his finger.

You look away from the mirror and shut your eyes at the pleasure he's giving you, but he'll click his tongue, and stops his motions at your reaction, "That won't do, dear. Don't look away". With his other hand, he'll grab your chin and make you face the mirror once more, "Open your eyes. You need to watch as I pleasure you" and with the lack of friction making you antsy, you open your eyes to watch the erotic sight of him touching you. "Good girl", he'll hum. And for that, he'll reward you by using his other hand to rub circles on your clit.

He'll continue to pleasure you while making you watch him, becoming pleased with himself as he was getting you to stare at the sight with less hesitation each time.

When at last he has himself inserted in you, thrusting up into you relentlessly as you both watch yourselves in the mirror, mouths agape as you both moan and pant, faces flushed, eyes heavy with lust, bodies wet from sweat and arousal, he'll lean in towards you ear, sultry whispering,

"Get used to this image, my love...become so accustomed to it that it won't matter what anyone says. You'll remember that you and I are meant to be together...joined as one both body and soul, just like this"

"Do you know what you do to me?"

MALLEUS, Sebek, Deuce, Riddle, Idia

He'd full of worry when you distance yourself from him, wondering if he had done or said something to cause it. Though, hen he finds out that the reason for it was your self-consciousness and the gossip of others that had influenced it, he is fuming. Who dares to insult his darling?! To make you feel this way? He'd be so tempted to make them endure his wrath, but he'd ultimately decide to deal with it later. The most important thing right now was you. It pained him to see you look at yourself that way when he thought the entire world of you. (He practically kisses the ground you walk on, lol)

So he would waste zero time to confront you because there's no way he was going to let you think that he didn't love and care for you.

Do you know exactly the effect you have on him? He'll let you know. He'll tell you how warm you make him feel inside, how you ease him while still managing to give him butterflies in his stomach everytime you laugh or smile at him, how grateful he is to have you in his life. He'll then take your hand, bring it up to his face, and lean his cheek into your palm, telling you how he easily melts into your touch and submits himself to you.

He'll guide your hand down his body, allowing you to feel the heat of his skin, down to his chest, where you can feel the pounding of his heart.

"Feel the rhythm of my heart...it only beats like that for you. You mean everything to me, y/n. Never forget that", and he would press a kiss onto your lips, desperation imbued into them. That desperation would soon turn into passion when you gladly returned his fervor, letting him know that you understood him and relief washed over him.

As you two fiercely kissed, devouring each other's mouths, letting your tongues dance, he realized that he was still holding your hand. So, he'd take the chance to continue guiding your hand further down his body to show you another effect you had on him. You'd gasp when your hand met with his clothed erection, breaking the kiss to look down at it and back up at him. He'll have a faint blush on his cheeks, but will look at you with a firmness in his eyes, "Only you make me feel this way." He'll release his grasp on you, yet, you'll maintain your grasp on him, ready to show him the love and affection that he showed you.

And indeed, you'll feel how enamored and obsessed you make him when you pull down his pants to free his throbbing cock, to lick it, suck on it, bounce on it, ride it, and squeeze it so good that the evidence of his love will be buried deep inside of you and will continue to overflow.

Extra:

He'll also show you what you do to him even when he wasn't with you at the moment. Even if you were away for a while, he'd send you a video touching himself to you. In the video, you'll see his beautiful face twisted in need as you listen to him panting, gasping, and moaning out your name numerous times, accompanied with the wet sounds of his sex being attended to. This would go on for several minutes for you to enjoy, and in the after his release, he'll look hazily to the camera, cheeks flushed, semen stained on his hand, abdomen, and thighs, lips parted as he breathlessly heaves out, "This is what you do to me"

If you were there, he wouldn't have made such a mess everywhere 'cause he would have made his mess inside of you instead, just sayin' ;)

(Cater isn't a part of this category, but I can totally see him doing this too!)

"I love your..."

NEIGE, Cater, KALIM, Che'nya, Trey, Ruggie

You distancing yourself from him would immediately have alarms going off in his head because this would be highly unusual. You two were always joined at the hip (sometimes literally) after all. When he realizes that you're self-conscious, he'll immediately reassure you.

"You know what I love so much about you? I'll tell you!" He'll grab your hand and bring it up to his lips, "I love your touch", and will kiss your palm. He'll then lean towards your face so that his lips were ghosting your forehead, "I love your beautiful mind", and kisses it. He'll then kiss the corner of your lips, "Your pretty smile", which would earn him that beloved expression from you, to his delight. He'll kiss down your neck, "Your voice and the things you say to me", and as he tries to kiss your collarbone, he will pull off your top to expose more of the skin he can kiss. He'll continue down towards your chest, kissing your warm bosom, "Your kind heart and affection". And he'll go on to kissing all over your body as he says what he adores and loves about you, removing any more clothing that might hinder his lips from meeting your skin.

With all his kisses, you were nearly laid entirely bare. All of your clothing were off except for your panties. As he lowers himself down to hover his lips on your clothed sex, he'll look up at you, blush dusted on his cheeks and a sensual look in his eye, "Would you allow me to continue saying what else I love about you?". And with your nod of permission, he'll slip the garment off, and whisper, "I love the way you taste" before giving a deep kiss to your lips. He'll go on to kiss it repeatedly and as you moan and sigh from his kisses below, he'll shakily breathe out, "I love the sounds you make when I'm making you feel good...a-ah..! You make me feel so good" as he mindlessly grinds into the mattress, pre-cum staining the bed, aroused by you.

You'd think he'd be done after letting you know the numerous things he loved about you, but he still had one more he had to say. So after letting you release your nectar onto his lips and drinking it, he's gonna line himself up to your dripping entrance, and will say, "I love being inside you", before inserting himself into your heat. He'll continue to mutter on with each thrust, "oh, you're so warm...you take me in so well...I love it...I love you....so very much"

And with all of the places he's kissed and all of his words of adoration, I'm sure you'll understand the magnitude of his love for you by the end of the night

a/n: this one was much longer than usual! Some seem a bit ooc and I honestly kinda gave up at the ends of most afshdkwgjak oh well 🫤

© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS

[occamstfs]

Diet Diaries

Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam

Monday March 21st-

Andy:

I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~

Steve:

Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 

Tuesday March 22nd-

Andy:

My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.

Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~

Steve:

Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.

Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.

Wednesday March 23rd-

Andrew:

Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!

Steven:

That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.

Thursday March 24th-

Andrew: 

Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!

OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!

Steven:

God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 

It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.

Friday March 25th-

Steven:

Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.

I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..

Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~

Andrew:

Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.

Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)

Saturday March 26th-

Stevie:

Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-

Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 

I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-

And Drew:

Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  

Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.

Sunday March 27th-

Stevie:

Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~

Drew:

My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.

[multific]

In the High of the Feeling

Mattheo Riddle x Cat Animagus!Reader

Warning: smut, tiny blood play, a hint of breeding kink

Summary: Much like for many animals, heat season was right around the corner for you as well.

A/N: This one has a little Omegaverse feel to it. I did try and make it different but there are similarities. Both parties are +18! 

A/N: This can be read as part 2 of this piece.

Being an animagus had its ups and downs.

Your loving and helpful boyfriend, Mattheo was definitely a bonus.

He would help with any difficulties or tried his best to help. No one in the school knew, none of the students beside him at least.

It hadn't been that long since the two of you got together and he realized your secret.

This will be the first spring the two of you will spend together and you were... for a lack of a better word, nervous.

Extremely nervous.

You knew what spring brought.

It brought a new start. Flowers bloom and animals... yeah.

It was rare for an animagus to be so tied to their animalistic side. But you were.

And with spring, came your heat.

A week where you would have the strongest desire to have offsprings.

Ever since you hit puberty, the feeling was there, but lately, as you got older, the feeling got stronger.

And now, that you had a boyfriend, you knew your body and mind will go crazy, you needed to stay away from Mattheo and you needed a way to explain this to him to the best of your ability.

But how do you explain to a horny guy that he needs to stay away from you because for once it will be you who wants to have sex all the time? With the purpose of getting pregnant.

You couldn't let that happen, you were too young.

You understood it was only nature, but still... no.

"Babe? BABE!" the yell made you snap back into reality as you looked at your boyfriend sitting across you by the table. "You have been distracted lately. Do you have another man or something?"

"Nothing like that... it's-"

"Is it a cat-thing?" he asked as he popped a slice of apple into his mouth.

"Actually, yes." you looked around, making sure no one was there to hear you. "Spring is coming." you said with a low voice and he made a face then a sudden realization. You hoped he would understand.

"You are right! More Quidditch!" you wanted to slap him.

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you let out a long sigh.

"No." you said not opening your eyes to look at him.

"No? Then what Princess? You have to go home for the break or something?"

"My heat is coming." you said, straight up, since you knew dancing around the subject won't help.

"What's that?" you finally opened your eyes and looked at him.

You shouldn't have expected for him to understand.

"Spring brings new life. Flowers bloom and animals..." his eyes grew big with realization. "Professor McGonaghall said she would give me a potion to keep my... needs at bay but apparently the very flower that you would need blooms after my heat would be over so..."

"I'm too young to be a father." was what he ended up saying.

"So am I. It's nature, unfortunately, I can't do anything with it. I will have the week off, I already spoke with the teachers. I have so many things to do. I just wanted to tell you to please just... for that week stay away from me. I wouldn't be able to control myself and... I wouldn't want to force you."

"First of all, you would never force me. I do understand your point now, but I'm also very curious. Tell me more about it. What happens? Does it hurt? What do you do? Do you touch yourself?" you could see in his eyes he was genuinely interested.

"It hurts, unfortunately, yes. But it's a very different pain from like a wound. I would say it's like a heartbreak and a broken leg at the same time. I always have a little area that I put together so I can stay there. I put soft things... pillows, blankets and- Oh that reminds me, can I borrow a shirt from you? Your scent might help me." he only nodded as he listened, he was more interested than ever. "So, yeah I just... I do touch myself, yes. It helps with the pain. I'm just worried about what might happen this time."

"Why?" he reached out on the table and held your hand in his. "What would happen this time?"

"Well, now I have you. I have a partner and my body knows that. So I'm nervous about what would happen this time."

"I see. I will give you the shirts. Many of them. When does this... heat start?"

"You can't really pinpoint it out, it's like a period but it should be this weekend/next week that it starts." you smiled at him, happy he didn't find it disgusting or anything.

"I will bring you my clothes tomorrow then."

"Thank you." but he didn't know, you thanked him for another reason.

The next morning you woke up with a strange feeling. Your foggy mind didn't even realize what was happening. You found yourself thinking more and more about your boyfriend, more specifically, him naked.

You were thankful that last night you at least build your comfort place on your bed.

Your entire body felt hot and your mind could only think of one thing.

The dirtiest images flashed in your mind.

You only ever slept with Mattheo a couple times, but now it was all you could think about.

How soft his skin was, how you could run your fingers over his scars, letting him know that it was okay.

How he smelled and felt like.

How amazing he made you feel as he just kept rolling his hips with a steady rhythm. 

The images flooded your mind as your imagination ran wild.

You wanted him to ravish you. 

To completely fill you up and have your own litter. 

You were going insane. You let out a soft moan when there was a knock on your door.

"Princess? I brought the shirts I promised." his voice, his nice voice, his intoxicating voice.

You felt your ears and tail pop out, you felt your eyes change.

You were gone. Your most basic instincts took over as you walked to that door and opened it.

He was saying something, you saw his gorgeous lips move. But you were far too gone to hear it.

When he looked at you, confused, you pulled him in and locked the door behind him, you pulled on his hair, kissing him with all you had.

Your cat-like teeth managed to scare his lips as you now tasted a little blood along with the tobacco he always smoked.

Your hands found his tie as you began to take off his clothes one by one.

"Hey, hey, slow down." he said as he pulled back as he laughed a little.

"You have too many layers." you said, not even looking at him as you began to undo his belt. That is when he jumped back, keeping you at arm's length.

"Why are your ears out?" you put your hand on his forearm as his hand was on your shoulder.

"I need you." you said with the most intoxicating voice Mattheo had ever heard. He did hear you say those words before. He did make you say and moan many things but this. this was different.

Your voice was filled with lust.

"Oh shit, this is it right? Your heat. Fuck." Mattheo looked around, he knew, he needed to go. NOW. "I-I have to... go." he said but by the time he finished you were completely nude in front of him. His eyes were glued to your body.

Men are such easy creatures.

"Matty, I need you." you said again as he looked into your eyes. 

"Okay... Okay. I-I have condoms."

"Noooo." you walked over to him, you put your hands around his neck as your mouths were only inches apart. "I need you to fill me up. I want to feel it ooze out."

He grabbed your waist with both hands.

It was all too much for him, he felt himself getting harder by the second.

"I'm so wet Matty, please." he had to gulp, he looked away from you and noticed the arranged pillows on your bed. While he was thinking you took the opportunity to make your final move.

He watched as you walked away from him and towards your bed. With your back to him, you knelt down on the bed and moved to lay down with your ass up in the air. You reached under your body and with two fingers you spread your lips, showing him your wet cunt. Then you moved one finger in and dragged it down, letting out a moan as you touched your clit.

"Please, Mattheo." is all you needed to say as you looked at him with your head on the bed.

He lost.

Thankfully he still had the mind to put on the protection.

"Nooo. No condom." you said but he didn't hear you, his focus was on your pussy. 

He jerked himself twice before grabbing your hips and slowly pulling you back, filling you up.

Just what you have been craving for.

You both let out a long moan as he filled you fully. You were finally a little satisfied, feeling his balls slapping onto your skin as his huge cock filled you up to your stomach.

He started off slow, keeping his focus as he felt your tail wrap around his leg then move up his back.

He needed to have control.

You were in a very vulnerable state. He had to remind himself.

But it seemed almost useless because every time you looked into his eyes, his common sense failed him.

Especially when he felt you beginning to move back onto him with rough movements.

"Fuck." he said as he watched you fuck yourself on his cock. "Shit, Babe." but you were a moaning mess. 

If he was far too gone, you were beyond.

"Wait." he said as he almost came, in his nearing high, he grabbed the base of your tail which made you yelp in surprise. "Sorry." he said, knowing how sensitive it was, he ran his hand up your spine. feeling the curve in which you were laying.

He loved it.

He loved you.

You patiently waited for him to began moving again, and when he did, oh how magnificent it was.

His movements were fast, you were sure his fingers will leave their marks but you didn't care.

All you wanted is to feel him fill you up.

Then he grabbed your hair and pulled back on it a little. The room was filled with the noises of skin slapping against skin and moaning.

His name was all you could say as he groaned and moaned. 

Once again you moved your tail around him as he moved you, laying you down onto your stomach, as he put a pillow under it, raising the place he wanted to reach the most. Your fingers entangled with the sheets as he moved back inside you. His two hands by your side as he continued to ruin your pussy.

"So good." he said. "So fucking good. Look at me." and you obliged, looking at him with your cat-like eyes as he was nearing his end. 

"Matty, I'm close." you said as you started to feel the familiar knot in your belly.

Upon hearing that Mattheo knew he needed to set a pace he can keep so you can cum.

He focused on you and you alone, he moved and kissed your shoulder as he felt you tighten.

"Come for me, Kitten." he whispered into your ear as you came with a loud cry. Or, you would have but he put his hand onto your mouth, he felt your sharp teeth gaze along his fingers but he couldn't care.

You felt so tight, warm and wet.

And feeling you cum around him did the trick.

He came with a small shake and a moan as he emptied himself into the condom. However, his instincts did the trick. After, he made long movements as if he was filling you with his cum. Slow and deliberate movements with his softening cock. 

It felt like heaven.

You finally came to your senses a lot more but when you felt him placing kisses along your spine, you knew he wanted this as much as you did.

You seduced him, but you didn't feel guilty about it. 

It seemed that only for a moment he left you but soon he was laying by your side as he put a blanket over the two of you.

"I could get used to this." he said as you cuddled into his side. "You are so sexy."

"It comes with the heat too, I put off a scent which is attractive for men."

"Nah. It was more than that. You were sexy before. We should have done this earlier, I didn't know you could take it so rough."

"I love you." you said as you closed your eyes, ready for a nap before you need your next round.

"I love you too, Princess. I think I could get used to this. Every year, a week where you cannot keep your hands off of me."

"Two." you said with a very drowsy voice.

"Huh?"

"I have heats twice a year. So, two weeks."

Mattheo looked at the ceiling. 

He knew he will need a lot more condoms, he suspected you will wake up within an hour or so and he needed to be ready.

But he can definitely get used to this.

Twice a year.

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak   @manduse   @jacalineiscomingforyou  @mandoloriancookie @noname2246

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[the-modern-typewriter]

Your work inspires me so much! Could I request a villain x hero where they’re both mutually in love but the villain, is very much a villain and murders people and the hero feels betrayed, and hates the fact they still love the villain (bonus for the villain doing it out of jealousy 🥺💕) don’t feel pressured to write this ofc! Thank you for taking the time to read and have a good day / evening and thank you for the content you produce ❤️

The hero scrubbed harder at their hands when they heard the bathroom door open behind them. Their shoulders tensed. Their jaw locked.

They didn't look up at the mirror.

"You're upset," the villain said, finally.

The hero snarled, wordlessly. Their skin was beginning to look flayed. Red from the hot water. Clean. Not clean enough.

"You know who I am," the villain pressed. "You know what I'm capable of. I've never hid it, never pretended to be something other than what I am."

"You killed them."

"I've killed before."

"Oh, well. That makes it all so much better then, doesn't it?"

The villain stepped closer. They gently took hold of the hero's wrist with one hand and firmly closed the tap with the other.

The hero whirled, wrenching back and shoving.

Part of them expected the villain to instantly lunge; slam them right back against a wall, leaving the two of them struggling. It was worse that the villain immediately put their hands up in placating, 'okay, I won't touch you', surrender.

It was too damn reasonable.

The villain's expression, through the blurry fury of the hero's tears, was too damn concerned.

The hero swiped at their cheeks, teeth practically bared. "Fuck you."

"Oh, I wish that was the mood, right now."

"You killed them because you were jealous."

The villain's head tilted.

"Don't deny it," the hero snapped.

"I wasn't denying thing. Outside of a court of law, I rarely do."

"This isn't a joke!"

"I wasn't joking, love."

"Don't call me that!"

The villain folded their arms across the chest, and for a moment the hero thought they might walk out and come back later 'after the hero had calmed down'. They leaned back against the bathroom door instead, shutting it.

The hero gulped. They took a step closer, fists raised - wanting to - needing to - they ended up hurling their shaking hands back to their sides.

"You know," their voice cracked. "I defend you to people. Did you know that? I tell them that you're not so bad. Ruthless, yeah, but you're not a monster. You have a code. You love me."

"I do love you, which is why I would never ask you to defend me."

"Like that's the point here!"

"Then what is the point?" the villain asked. Calm. Implacable.

"You're better than this. You're supposed to be better. You don't just - just kill people. Not because of me."

"Ah." The villain's gaze flicked down the hero's arms. "You feel you have blood on your hands."

"No. That's not it."

"Isn't it?"

"It's about you being morally reprehensible."

"Yeah, but we knew I was morally reprehensible, didn't we? Just as we both know I pretend otherwise sometimes when I can make it easy for you."

The hero made a strangled sound. Even if they did know that. Especially because they knew that.

The villain shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, it's not your fault. Yes, I was jealous that you were spending a lot of time fighting them. But on the other hand, they were also a morally reprehensible person, so really if I'm going to kill anyone it should be the people like me. I thought you'd be pleased."

"Pleased?!"

"Well, that I'm channelling my violent tendencies in a societally friendly way. You wanted to stop them too. Does the end not justify the means?"

The hero stared at them, aghast. They genuinely weren't sure if the villain was joking or not. They did not look like they were joking.

"I hate you," the hero said. "So much."

"Yes."

"That's all you have to say? Yes?"

"I'm not an easy creature to love," the villain said, softly. "Of course you hate me sometimes. Otherwise loving me would be unbearable."

"It is unbearable."

Some of the calm slipped from the villain's face; a flinch of pain.

it didn't make the hero feel better. It just made their hands feel more bloodied, more like the villain's hands. Hurting things.

"You know," the villain said. "You're not easy either. I limit my nature a lot for you. I compromise for you all the time."

"It's not a compromise when my demand is asking you not to kill people!"

"I've never asked you to stop risking your life to save people."

"That's not the same thing!"

"Hurts the same amount.," the villain said quietly.

The hero didn't know what to say to that. The two of them stared at each other from across the bathroom, the hero still shaking violently. "I don't want to do this right now," they managed to say, and it was only a little wobbly. "I can't deal with you right now."

"I wanted to check you're alright."

"Yeah? I'm not."

The villain bit their lip. "I really didn't think you'd react this badly. I wouldn't have done it if I thought it would upset you this much."

The hero closed their eyes, because it was true and it was terrible. Another treacherous tear spilled over their cheek. They dashed it away.

"What do you need?" the villain asked. "You should have water or you'll get a headache."

"I want you to leave."

"Are you going to put your hands under the tap again if I leave?"

The hero glared at them.

The villain's defences were back up again, so they merely raised an eyebrow. "I'll be outside, then."

"I thought you were better," the hero said. "You were supposed to be better."

The villain paused, one hand on the door, considering that perhaps.

"No," they said, after a moment, like the hero was the one who had committed some great and grave betrayal. "You just started pretending."

They shut the door behind them.