#and if asked to explain

[coldflash-corner]

A while ago, i thought about this concept:

what if barry gets so good at reading snart throughout their relationship that if he walks into a room and a snart that isn't His -from another dimension/timeline or the wrong part of the timeline (aka pre-barry)- is there, he will know IMMEDIATELY that this isn't His Leonard Snart

The man doesn't even have to open his mouth

Everyone: Wow, Snart and his Doppleganger are so hard to tell apart! I don't know how you do it

Barry, unnerved and concerned: What, like it's hard?

[aroaceleovaldez]

i had a thought of "do people not know what AUs are anymore?" and then i remembered nobody explains fandom stuff to new people anymore so it is entirely plausible people genuinely don't know what AUs are and nobody has explained it to them, so for today's lucky 10,000:

"AU" stands for "Alternate Universe" or "Alternative Universe" (same difference) and is basically any thought scenario for a fandom that isn't canon and can't fit within the canon universe. If it takes place in the canon universe but something is notably different, that is typically what's known as a "Canon divergent AU," because it diverges from canon.

an AU can be absolutely anything. There's a couple of widespread pan-fandom au scenarios that often get thrown around, like coffee shop aus, genderbend aus, hanahaki aus (hanahaki is a whole thing in itself i'd recommend researching on your own), etc. One you might hear sometimes is "crossover AU" which is when you have characters from one fandom interacting with characters from another.

You can have as many aus as you want. They can be whatever you want and you can do whatever you want in them. It's a sandbox for you to play around in and explore how things would be different or how the characters would act in those circumstances or environments. Maybe they have different relationships with each other. Maybe they behave slightly differently. Or you can just say "Okay, [x] is true. How did they get here? How would things have to be different for this to occur?" which can also be fun.

If you are ever confused about why people ship something that seems completely out of the blue or doesn't make sense to you in the canon setting, there's a good chance they like it in an AU setting! Not everything everybody is interacting with is necessarily the canon! Not everybody wants things to exist in canon and just want to explore playing dolls in a different sandbox and that's okay. And their sandbox might look a lot different than yours, and that's also okay. You have the freedom to make your sandbox whatever you please. Do whatever you want forever. Get funky with it. AUs are fun.

Okay that's my schpeal. everybody go have fun and play nice now.

[i-say-stupid-things]

i’m gonna hold your hand with a glove on when i say this

when disabled/chronically ill people tell you they can’t do something, then that is not your cue to tell them that they can actually or that they’ll always find an excuse if they’re looking for one.

when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes that doesn’t mean it’s outside the realm of possibility, sometimes it means if they (attempted to) do that, they will seriously hurt themselves.

when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes it’s preventative care, and they refuse to do that thing to prevent a flare up from happening/their symptoms getting worse in the first place.

disabled/chronically ill people are not “looking for excuses”, they are giving you reasons why. something they don’t even have to do! so maybe just accept the reasons they give you.

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.

Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.

Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.

Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.

Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.

Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.

Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.

Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.

Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.

[varpusvaras]

How Dick actually found out:

Roy: Thank you for coming over, I really needed the help since my partner is out of town

Dick: It's okay! You know, you have to introduce us at some point, since- is that my sweater?

Roy: Uh

Dick: It is! My Gotham U sweater! Okay, it was Bruce's at first and I stole it, but he hasn't asked for it! I thought Jason stole it from me!

Roy: Uhh

Dick: Yeah, Jason definitely stole it, it even smells exactly like him! I knew it was him- why is it in your house?

Roy: Uhhhhhh

Dick:

Roy:

Dick: *looks around, sees all of the things that are definitely Jason's all around the house*

Dick: Are you kidding me?

Roy: Dick I can explain

Dick: Explain what? That you are dating my brother??

Roy: ...yeah, exactly that

Dick: ...get out

Roy: what-

Dick: I said get out!

Roy: This is my house!

Dick: Wrong! This is my brother's house, since he lives here, and I'm telling you to get out of my brother's house!

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Jeremy Fitzgerald survived the FNAF bite

[hoechlinth]

eddie for literal months: I can’t ask chris to come home, I deserve to stew in my misery.

eddie the literal second he makes buck sad: chris you have to come back home rn, buck is sad.

[thebroccolination]

OH YEAH

HE WAS

[gigizetz]

HELLOOO

What do you think about Eurylochus???

I like him so much and I'll defend him always but I see a lot of people that hates him a little bit too much 😭

which side are you?

I'll defend him forever

he's just hungry, man

[noodles-and-tea]

I politely ask for more of the vague modern AU art :3 they're so silly I LOVE them

They’re playing sister location, specifically night 4

[notbecauseofvictories]

I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

[bonesmarinated]

Oh, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? 🔪

[stealingpotatoes]

I love your little comic in the TL4J au where their crews come with them, especially the one with Cal and Jaro Tapal. What was Tapal's reaction to Merrical?

why stop at just merrical <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Okay 3 things

1. I was thinking about an aroace Sonic who says things that can be taken as wildly flirty/romantic but he just means them genuinely. “You have beautiful eyes, I keep getting distracted while looking at them,” not cause he’s interested romantically in them but because eyes can be really cool and pretty man I dunno what to tell you he likes looking at cool things and he thinks his friends are neat. “You’re the most beautiful person here,” because he really thinks that, he loves his friends

2. Sonic randomly dropping heartfelt genuine comments on his friends out of the blue completely blindsiding them and then moves on like nothing happened while they’re left going ?????? Bonus points if he does something immensely stupid or jerkish just before or immediately afterwards and they can’t tell if he was serious or not with the compliment (yes he was)

3. Sonic usually being so allergic to truly vulnerable moments that when he expresses something heartfelt randomly Tails thinks he’s been stabbed or something and does not believe him when he reassures him that he’s fine he’s fine he’s not dying yeesh

[bunnieswithknives]

As much as I love angst I think it would be funny if he just didnt give af

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.