#based off my hcs of course

[cherriiblossomii]

incorrect cpu mii quotes

[happyk44]

To me, children of Zeus are natural strategists in the same way children of Athena are. But the difference is that Zeus and his kids have multiple plans and contingencies if a plan fails at a certain point and needs to shift gears. So like they employ Plan A and get all the way to stage four of the plan when suddenly there's a deviation from expectations for whatever reason. So they shift gears from Plan A1 to Plan A2, which accounted for this deviation and continue on.

Athena and her kids, however, come up with one solid, somewhat broader plan and refuse to deviate from it at all unless there is literally no other choice, in which case they will improvise quickly and efficiently to accomodate the change and get back on track to the original plan.

[across-stars]

(he's autistic to me)

[maxwell-mtv]

I just came back from a day round-trip road trip with a friend sooo... take my headcanons about going to Zuzu City with the ✨️businessmen✨️ for a day trip!

[DISCLAIMER: These are romantic leaning headcanons for the two rival businessmen in Pelican Town. As with all my headcanons, they're based off my modded version of the game which in includes Stardew Expanded and the Marry Morris mod. These also being under the pretenses that Caroline eventually leaves Pierre (thus making him a bachelor again) because she deserves better... With that being said, please enjoy!]

🌃 Morris:

● He will make sure you know you won't need to pay for anything

○ He'll even let you ride in his purple panther

● No food or drinks inside though, that car is his baby, dude

○ The trip will consist of casual chit chat and him venting about Joja Mart and his employees and even give you the juicy gossip of what some of the customers are up to

● "Oh! Dear, you'll never guess who stopped in to buy some makeup Pierre doesn't carry for her daughter..." (He'll give you a hint, it wasn't Pam or Robin...)

○ He'll ramble on and on about his days in the city when he was still in college, just starting off at Joja Mart, or when he lived there (that is, if you two were married and he was living with you on the farm at this point)

● He will tell you all his favorite places in the city, most of the restaurants and shops are rather upper-middle or high class though

○ Once in the city he'll make sure you're always at his side and help to ease any anxiety with his confidence in having lived in the city for a while

● "Ah yes, this is the café I used to frequent when I was still merely a grunt for Joja Mart. Heh, did you know they sell spiked drinks here after 6?" He'll lean in and pull his glasses down as he asks this, giving you his sly smile that only a fat cat like him could pull off

○ He'll take you through the shopping centers and insist you pick something you like. Oh you want that shirt? He'll make sure to buy you pants that'll go well with it. And while he's at it, why not get a tie or some other accessories to make it complete? And don't forget the shoes as well! Oh, that's made from the finest silk? Perfect, nothing less for his dearest companion.

• At the end of the day in this city he'll ask what you're feeling like food-wise

○ No matter what you say, he'll have the perfect place

● "No need for worrying about the price" He'll assure you as you're looking over the menu

○ And when the night starts closing in? He'll take you on a walk in the most gorgeous part of the city

● Before you leave he may even rizz you up a little by throwing some cunning lines your way

○ "You know it's funny, in all my years of living here I'd never thought I'd have someone so gorgeous to share it with." Or whatever else he may have the opportunity to say

● While getting back into his car, he'll open your door for you. Both because he's a gentleman but also because he doesn't trust anyone to open and close the doors of his fancy car

○ He'll make sure your comfortable, have everything you want or need, and drive you both back to your farm

● "This was the best day I've had in a while, thank you (Y/N)." He'll say after arriving back at your place, leaning in to leave a soft kiss upon your lips.

🌇 Pierre:

● This man leaves the trust-box (as I call it) for any passive shoppers and GETS GOING

○ "You got everything you need? Phone, keys, wallet?" He'll go down the checklist with you like he's taking you on a vacation for a week or something.

● He has every possibility budgeted for

○ Once the tickets are paid for, you two will hop on the bus to ✨️Zuzu City✨️

● On the bus ride there, you two will talk a little, he'll discuss his plans for his store, sales, etc- just make small talk with you

○ Eventually you two will reach the city and from there it's go time

● "So I was thinking we could start the day off strong with coffee from this café I read about in the paper a few weeks ago. Then we should be able to take a cab to the museum and then-" He'll go on and on about the plans he made to a T.

○ You'll only manage to actually do like... three of the 6 or 7 things he'd planned. But the important things were tackled!

● He'd insist on avoiding shopping and rather go more for sight seeing and memorable experiences instead

○ He'll take you to a café first, as promised (that poor man desperately needs his coffee), then the museum, and then after that he'll take you on a walk through the park

● Between the museum and the park, time will pass rather quickly for you two

○ Without a doubt, he'll always at one point or another manage to either wrap his arm around your shoulders or (depending on your height) use your shoulder as an arm rest

● As your walk in the park turns more into just sitting and talking in the park, his eyes are ever-tired yet surprisingly attentive as he listens to your every word

○ He'll look down sadly as the conversation comes to a lull. "Hey, (Y/N)... I know I haven't gotten the chance to say so yet but... I just wanted to say thank you for helping me through my divorce with Caroline."

• This would lead to a more intimate moment between the two of you before you two realize how hungry you are

○ He'll suggest convenience food from a fast food place or pizza. But if he knows you also enjoy seafood he'll try to not-so-subtly suggest a few different restaurants in the area

● "I've heard great things about this place. ... Hm? No, I'm sure it'll be fine. For you, I don't mind paying extra for a nice meal. You have to treat yourself once in a while, right?" He'll assure you with a soft smile.

○ At dinner, you'll order as if you were paying for yourself, since he usually insists on separate checks due to financial reasons, not to mention he's too proud to ever let you pay for him... even if you are more financially stable than he is

● But when he gets up and asks if you're ready to leave when you've finished your meals and had a delightful time together, you can't help but ask "what about the checks???"

○ ...That scumbag secretly paid for the both of you when you weren't around. (And yes, he also left a nice tip for the waitstaff)

● He'll hold your hand as he guides you back to the busstop

○ "So, how did you like our day together?" He'll glance at you with cunning eyes and give your hand a gentle, loving squeeze

● The bus ride home ends with your head on his shoulder as you drift off to sleep on the way back to Pelican Town

○ This man will bring that day up for years to come, always reminiscing on it like it was one of the best days of his life

[cloudcountry]

since you guys liked my idea so much here it is: WAYS THE NRC BOYS WOULD MAKE YOU WORSE

reader's personality is based more off of in-game yuu than anything? this set of hcs is a bunch of hypotheticals basically. this can be read as platonic or romantic idk each guy is written as if they are the closest person to you, friends or otherwise.

IF YOU SEE A TYPO NO YOU DONT

mentally preparing myself for the "i wouldnt do that!!!!!" comments...and post.

Riddle increases your attentiveness to the rules tenfold. No matter how meek you are, he makes your voice strong—and oh boy does it carry. You’re yelling at people for running in the halls, chastising them for not doing their homework, and opening your mouth wider when you speak. For a school full of troublemakers like Night Raven, the entire student body is so disappointed there’s another Riddle.

Trey makes you more passive, less likely to speak up when you see something. He’s always stood back in the shadows, watching over everything without saying a word, and it’s seeped into your personality, too. You’re spineless now. This world is unfamiliar, why should you try to do anything? You’d only stand out. You don’t want to be outstanding. You want to be as normal as possible. So you stand back.

Cater gets you wrapped up in the hype of social media. It started out as a way to indulge his interests but now you’re on Magicam all day, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. You send things to your friends and say “hey, we should do this” but never make any actual effort to connect with them outside of that. You fall easier into jealousy because you’re surrounded by glamor.

Deuce makes you reckless. He’s so willing to throw himself into things and it spurs you to do the same, no matter how many times your teachers or potential upperclassmen tell you not to. You can’t hear anything but Deuce and his yelling, his enthusiasm and terror for whichever situation you two find yourselves in, knowing that you’d follow him anywhere.

Ace makes you all the more prickly, your sharp jabs and irritating smugness a product of spending too much time with him. You two are two peas in a pod, but to an outsider you two just seem...irritating. You have a talent for getting under people’s skin and have definitely gotten better at lying.

Leona thinks its so cute how you try to defend him at every twist and turn. Like no, he is as dastardly as everyone is saying. Why are you trying to deny it? You’re suddenly seeing reason in the most massive ego-ed people this side of Sage Island and Leona honestly doesn’t know if he should be concerned for you or be amused because of you. (This one in particular was inspired by @loser-jpg LMAO)

Ruggie could have made you prioritize yourself more, but you think he took it a bit too far. See, now you’re snatching cafeteria items and worksheets right under people’s noses, giggling as they demand you give it back. Sometimes they don’t even notice you, but even if they did you’ve learned how to be lighter on your feet.

Jack and you are incredibly uncooperative people (unless you owe someone, of course.) He’s guided you away from asking for help, insisting that the people here will take advantage of you then turning around to say that he doesn’t care, he just doesn't want to get wrapped up in your mess. It’s like you can’t trust anyone but him and your Heartslabyul friends anymore.

Azul has given you one nasty sense of perception, allowing you to key into every little detail and find loopholes in the things people say in a second. He’s turned you into a deadly asset, one he treasures just as much as the student body fears. You read over his contracts and point out what you would do to get out of them, and he adjusts accordingly. What a fine team you two make!

Jade makes it clear that his morals are less than savory, and will often encourage you to partake in things you really shouldn't. You rationalize it as Jade helping you go after the things you want, to finally take and take and take from people when you’ve been so selfless all your life, because it's what you deserve isn’t it?

Floyd will often rope you into his schemes, and it's not wrong before you start doing the same. Once a model student, attending every class, you now skip class and watch with amusement as Floyd threatens another student, hiding your smile behind your hand. They may plead for your assistance, but who are you to stop Floyd? This poor soul clearly owed something.

Kalim instills you with a sense of jealousy and helplessness. He has money to solve all of his problems, his life must be so easy. You’ve lived through so many overblots and received no help from anyone, but Kalim has always been so kind and generous to you. It makes you resent him a little, and anyone else who tries to help, because they all have things that you don’t and that's just not fair.

Jamil twists and bends your mind so much that you can do the very same thing to others. You’ve caught onto his little game and he knows it, eyeing you with anticipation whenever you speak in the same honeyed tone he uses when he wants something. You’ve gotten scarily good at hiding it too, shooting him a smug grin because you know he knows, but nobody else does.

Vil brings out so much confidence in your abilities it’s borderline arrogance. You know you’re capable, so why doesn’t everyone just let you handle this? You can do it, they can’t. So they should just step aside. You’re not doing it to be mean, so why are they getting so annoyed at you? You’re just better.

Rook has some eccentricities, and you’re well aware of them. They put you off at first, but now you’re used to him. It just seems normal now. You’re not sure why everyone makes such a big deal out of his tendencies, that’s just how he is. He’ll stalk you, hunt you down, but he’s having fun! Don’t spoil it for him!

Epel is actually the perfect fit for NRC, you think. He’s a troublemaker, he’s stubborn, and he’s so, so angry. But he’s right! Why should you respect people who claim to be above you? It’s so irritating that they walk around with those annoying smirks on their faces. You two should do something about that, don’t you think?

Idia has a very specific way of talking that can not only be confusing, but can also irritate the hell out of people. Of all things you could pick up from him, you picked up his smug jabs and insults, accompanied by a tooth grin and a laugh. It’s unnerving how much he’s rubbed off on you, a true testament to how close you too are much to the chagrin of the rest of NRC.

Malleus finds so much delight in being your bodyguard, your most trusted companion, that he doesn’t even bat an eye when you use his magic for your own gain. You’ve gotten soft, molding to whatever shape Malleus wants you to be just so he won’t leave. You’re helpless without him, only he has the will and the magic to protect you. So won’t he please stay?

Lilia has a way of dodging the truth, putting a smile on his face even when he’s hurting. It makes you think that, if he can do that, why can’t you? Lilia is smart, he knows how to go about life, so you should follow his lead and bury your problems until they’ll never see the light again.

Sebek has done nothing but berate you for being human since you met him, and even if you’ve gotten closer to him over the course of your stay in Twisted Wonderland, you’re starting to think he’s right. If you had magic, if you weren’t human, you’d be more powerful. It’s a fact. You could do so much more if you weren’t so weak.

Silver has made you complacent. He takes each step carefully, protecting both you and Malleus, so why would you need to protect yourself in any capacity? It’s so nice, having this safety net. If you could, you'd rely on Silver forever, never facing the cruel realities of the world that are blocked by his strong arms.

[auroraksr]

LATINAS DO IT BETTER [ LANDO NORRIS ]

synopsis: lando started dating a latina woman: you

warnings: HC! fem!reader, i'm latina so don't come after me this is literally my dream, +18, this is shaped in a brazilian latina vibes but ig could also work for others coutries, brazil special in the end

⚕ when you first started dating, the culture shock was literally shocking, he would almost always ask about your home country and how you would do this or that based on how you grew up

⚕ the day he met your parents he was a bundle of nerves cause he talked to carlos about it and he said that latinos are very intense - he already knew, he dated you - and that there were this common culture of "scaring the daughter's boyfriend"

⚕ he loves hearing you speak in your native language and says it's "sexy"

⚕ when he first slept in your house he was mega confused about you taking 2/3 showers per day cause his european ass do not do this

⚕ he loves and praise your body in every chance he has and says it's the "latinos genes"

⚕ he was more of a tits guy before meeting you, but after he discovered the latinos fascination with ass - bundas, as he says himself -, he started appreciating it a lot more and eventually grew into a ass guy

⚕ when he first visited your home country, he was all in for the culture, he went to the beach as a proper latino, drank every alcohol drink he found - and got very drunk -, ate every food he was offered - and barely passed out cause he was not used to the spiceness and seasoning - and even learned a bit of your native lauguage so he could communicate

⚕ he gets really turned on by you talking dirty in your native language and always asks for it

⚕ he always have the best fun comparing brands names with you and how you would say it in your country

⚕ if your country has a gp, when the race was there he would definitively ask you to go with him and would make the most of the time there. he would also act like a native to his gridmates and throw useless info at them simply cause he knows

⚕ he would brag about having a hot latina girl by his side 24/7, to whoever it is, you, his friends and even some stranger complementing you on the street

⚕ everytime there is a latina character in a show or movie he would say that she is "so you"

⚕ the first time he tasted your country's food, he never went back and always asks you to cook for him cause he loves it

⚕ he studied a bit of your country's history and everytime something like a national holiday come up, he would always remind you throught the day and celebrate - even the dumbest dates

⚕ he would binge watch shows from your country with you, especially the ones from your childhood cause he wanted a taste of how you grew up like

⚕ he learned a bit of your language and everytime you're both alone he would ask you to teach him some more or show off with his "skills"

⚕ he would beg carlos to help him out pre-relationship/in the very start

⚕ sometimes he's convinced you're too much for him and say that "no way a guy like me could pull out such a hot woman like you"

brazil special

⚕ he would always ask you about how it was growning up so close to senna's legacy and think it's crazy how the whole country idolizes him even after his death

⚕ he would always wear his palmeiras shirt cause he know it was a team from brazil - you being a palmeirense or not

⚕ everytime you're reunited with max and pietra, him and max like to pay attention to you and pietra speaking portuguese

⚕ he loves the country's love for soccer and learned to play a bit just so he could play with you and your family

⚕ when he first found out what "funk" is he was shocked, but of course he grew to like it and loves watching you dance

[eustasskidagenda]

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro 

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like : 

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too. 

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all. 

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!" 

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation. 

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing" 

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone. 

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????" 

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him. 

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike. 

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it. 

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid. 

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic. 

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things. 

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode. 

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?" 

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos. 

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy. 

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji 

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you. 

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never. 

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days. 

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips. 

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours. 

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰" 

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face.  👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji. 

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis. 

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right. 

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo 

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face. 

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution. 

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*" 

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻" 

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate. 

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey. 

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something.  He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught  *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural. 

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts… 

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

[rueclfer]

Rockstar boyfriend HC

shinsou hitoshi

only ever wants to invite you to his shows because he's scared of messing up in front of you during band practice.

loves sharing music recs with you and making you playlists based off of your silly moods.

TAPPING ON YOUR BODY!! when you're riding passenger in the car, his hand is going to be glued to your thigh tapping away to whatever song is playing (of course you have aux).

however, whenever you try to tap to the rhythm back on him, he always corrects you because you have "no sense of rhythm."

has a custom guitar pick with your initial on it that he wears on a necklace.

LOVES when you sit in his lap when he's just casually playing guitar at home. he swears it suddenly channels the spirit of jimi hendrix in his fingers and makes him play better.

so sexy at shows. the infinite energy, sweat, messy hair, flashing his happy trail, always winking at you when your eyes meet during the set.

favorite bit to do is pretending that you're a random person he's picking up after the show.

"so...what might your name be, pretty thing? did you see me up there? can i buy you a drink?"

makes the cat try to shred on the guitar every now and then.

ritual of you picking out his outfits and doing his makeup for shows.

"i'm sorry babe, but i can't wear the 'i <3 my girlfriend' shirt for the 3rd night in a row."

SULKS after you catch the drum stick thrown in the crowd, but not the guitar pick he deliberately tried to throw in your direction.

threatening to sell locs of his hair and used underwear online whenever he pissed you off.

bandages his fingers for him whenever he shreds a little too hard.

always showing you the songs he write about you first before releasing it or playing it in front of an audience.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

.⋆｡Steamy｡⋆.

Steve Rogers x plus size reader

Stolen shampoo, hot shower and a perky little ass

Warnings: fluff, nudity but no smut, domestic fluff, some crack humour, implied smut WC: 564

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

5k Follower Celebration

You were absolutely covered in sweat and grime, a result of letting Sam pick your hiking trail for the day and of course he picked one that would give you a ‘challenge’. 10 miles of mostly uphill terrain later, you were so ready for a hot shower and a nap with your boyfriend. 

Your clothes came off piece by piece as you stumbled through your apartment until you reached the bathroom, where the shower was already running. You smirked as you tugged off your panties and slowly opened the door, revealing the site of a lifetime. 

The steam made his pale skin glow under the bathroom light. Water rolled down the defined muscles of Steve’s back, droplets getting caught in the divots and valleys of his shoulder blades and the small dimples at the base of his spine, leading right to the perky ass of your dreams. 

You bit your lip, it was far too tempting.

Your hand whistled as it flew through the air and collided with his perfect cheek with a satisfying smack. Steve immediately froze up, his hands still buried in his hair where he had been massaging in shampoo. Your smirk widened as he slowly turned to face you, his pretty blue eyes wide.

“Did you just… slap my ass?” 

“And what are you gonna do about it doll?” You retorted with Steve’s usual line when he was the one to smack your ass. He glared at you so hard he didn’t even notice that you were completely naked. You let your own gaze drift downwards, following a particularly fat drop of water as it rolled down his torso. It raced between his toned abs before getting lost in the thick patch of hair right at the base of his pelvis.

Your eyes wandered lower but before you could go down any further, Steve’s hands flew to cover himself. “You’re objectifying me.” He whined yet his bright red cheeks gave away just how much he enjoyed your attention.

“You like it.” You stepped into the shower, letting out a happy groan as the hot water washed over your sore muscles. Your boyfriend wrapped a muscular arm around your thick waist and tugged you into his chest.

“How was the hike?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to your hair. 

“It was fine but you need to tell Sam-“ You paused and sniffed at Steve. He raised an eyebrow at you but you ignored it and instead wound your fingers into his hair to pull him to your level. You buried your nose against his scalp and inhaled deeply. “Did you use my shampoo?”

“You weren’t supposed to be home yet?”

“How. Dare. You. Do you know how much that stuff costs! I only use it for special occasions!” You slapped a hand against his chest, purposefully ignoring the way he was flexing his pecs. Steve caught your wrists in one big hand. You thrashed playfully in his hold.

“Hey, it makes my hair look good.” He defended.

“Oh like you need to look any better than you normally do.” You sassed.

It was Steve’s turn to smirk as he pushed his hips forward and pressed his hardening cock into your soft stomach. “I just need to do my best to keep up with you.”

“Fuck you.” 

“I’m trying.” He grinned and you rolled your eyes and leaned into him.

Request: Steve Rogers: 13,12 and28 @as-white-as-snow-love

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[mncxbe]

Sucking duos off...? Like... Sucking Soukoku off at once and Sucking off suegiku at once ..? If you do this, please include suegiku^^ (starving for Tecchou X Jouno X reader) FIC or HC your choice!

- 💄

nonnie😳 i really love your idea omg. it'd really be something considering the dynamics between them hihi hope you like it♡

ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑𝒄𝒘: brainrot, nsfw, oral, little bit of degrading, praise, pet names, manhandling and size kink if you squint, hair pulling, established relationship (in dazai's and chuuya's part), sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes i didn't have much time to proofread it♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 & 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂

Dazai doesn't like to share, he needs your undivided attention at all times. That's why the position he was currently in pissed him off so much– he was laying on the couch next to Chuuya with you on your knees in front of them, pretty hands wrapped around their leaking cocks, slowly moving up and down. But your mouth... you've been neglecting him for minutes now, choosing to suck off the redhead instead of him and he just couldn't stand this injustice any longer.

"Bella it's not fair" he cooed, his fingers tugging at your roots in a desperate attempt to pry your mouth off Chuuya's dick "Suck me off too."

"Fuck off, Dazai. Let her do her thing and wait for your turn" snapped Chuuya, shoving Dazai's hand away from your hair and pushing your head lower on his cock. You gagged when his tip hit the back of your throat but did your best to relax your muscles, slowly managing to take him to his base. "God pretty– you're so good for us. Look how well you take my dick down your throat" Chuuya's free hand moved to the nape of your neck, stroking it gently, a silent praise that made you whimper around his length.

All the while Dazai's frown deepened. You were so focused on Chuuya that you had completely forgotten to jerk him off. Wrapping one of his large hands above yours, the brunette guided your hand up and down his cock. Despite your fucked out mind you managed to pull yourself together and tighten the grip on Dazai's dick while hollowing your cheeks, earning a choked moan from Chuuya. "Shit– baby slow down can't cum yet." he mumbled, letting go of your head and resting his hand on your shoulder as his face scrunched up in pleasure. That was all Dazai needed to hear. With a quick motion he grabbed a hold of your hair and dragged you off Chuuya's cock, bringing your face closer to his erection.

"The fuck you doing" huffed Chuuya, but Dazai paid no mind to him, ordering you to open your mouth for him. And you did, of course you did– only the sight of his throbbing erection was enough to make you melt like butter. The brunette let out a satisfied hum when you licked a stripe from the base of his cock to his tip before taking him down your throat, tongue swirling around his length. "Hah- see Chuuya. She wanted my dick too, she loves it. Who do you think you are to deny her that?" he chuckled, and when you peered up from between his legs you could see the shit eating grin etched on his features.

"Yea... whatever you say, dipshit" grumbled Chuuya but he couldn't deny that seeing you sucking Dazai off did things to him. His cock, still glistening with your saliva and his precum, was throbbing frantically. He was close, but he'd be damned if he was going to cum untouched– Dazai would tease him about it for weeks so he gave his cock a few strokes, bucking his hips into his hand. But Dazai was Dazai and it didn't take him long to realize what his partner was doing. Naturally, he couldn't waste such a precious opportunity to taunt him so he flexed his fingers, combing them through your hair to brush the strands from the side of your face, giving Chuuya full view of what you were doing.

"My, my, Nakahara, you like this? Like seeing our pretty girl taking my dick down her pretty throat?" laughed Dazai, stroking your cheek

"Shut up you–" huffed Chuuya, his eyes glued to your plump lips, wrapped so sweetly around Dazai's dick. You were sucking him off so eagerly and god you looked so beautiful with those tears brimming at your lashline. He ached for you, needed you so desperately in this moment that he didn't even realize how much pre his cock was leaking.

"Wanna see me cum in her mouth? Or should I cum on her face? You name it, Chuuya." said Dazai in a silken voice, pulling your head off his dick for a brief moment. Your mouth fell into an o as you struggled to catch your breath, your chest heaving and lashes fluttering in attempt to get rid of the little tears at the corner of your eyes. When your eyes met his, Chuuya lets out a loud, choked moan, spilling his cum in his hand and you quickly crawled closer to him, taking his fingers into your mouth to lick them clean. "Look at you, bella, never letting a drop of our cum go to waste" chuckled Dazai, watching you lap up Chuuya's milky cum as he began stroking his cock with more force. "Better get ready to swallow mine too."

You put on a good show for the two men, slowly licking the sticky liquid from Chuuya's hand, sucking on his fingers without breaking the intense eye contact with Dazai. It wasn't too long until he grabbed the back of your head again and pulled you towards him. "Fuck... open up beautiful" he instructed and you obeyed, allowing him to shove his aching cock in your mouth and cum down your throat.

When he pulled away, Dazai quickly brushed off the string of cum that connected your lips to his tip and smiled, running his thumb along your bottom lip. "Well, Chuuya, I think it's time we return the favour. What d'you say?"

"I couldn't agree more"

𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 & 𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒐

Jouno and Tecchou knew that you had a massive crush on them, but neither of them made a move. It would've been unethical, considering that you were colleagues and all but when you came to them with such a tempting proposal after a particularly dangerous mission, their resolve broke.

"So... you're saying you want to suck both of us off?" asked Tecchou, raising a brow as he watched you fumble with the buttons of your uniform shirt. "Yup, exactly". "But why?"

"Because, Hiro, I almost died today. And it reminded me just how dangerous our job can be. I don't wanna die before experiencing this with you" . You said all that so casually while undoing Tecchou's belt and lowering his uniform pants and briefs mid-thigh, freeing his half-hard cock. "Besides" you continued, giving his length a few good strokes "You're both pent up and tired. And you deserve this–"

Jouno, who up to that point stood on the side and observed the interaction between you and Tecchou, got off the table he was perched up on. "Don't make this about us, Y/N" he scoffed, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up "We all know this is just about you wanting to get some good dick. So get to it". Jouno brought your face level to Tecchou's erection and you peered up at the man, waiting for some sort of consent.

"Don't force her, Jouno" said Tecchou in his usual levelled voice, his eyes never leaving yours. "It's ok, Y/N, you can take it easy." You lolled out your tongue, giving his tip a quick lick before letting a blob of spit fall on it and spreading it along his length with steady hands.

"Yea..." retorted Jouno "She sure doesn't know what she's doing" Before you got the chance to take Tecchou into your mouth Jouno pulled down his briefs and guided your mouth to his cock. You whined when his tip hit the back of throat, triggering your gag reflex, but Jouno hushed you, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb on the side of your jaw. He could feel your sharp, ragged breath tickling the sensitive skin of his pelvis as he rocked his hips forward, pushing himself deeper into your mouth. "See, Tecchou, slutty girls like her like to be roughed up a bit, just enough to remind them who's in charge"

"You're hurting her, Jouno" protested the brunette but you quickly shook your head and hummed a nuh-uh, signaling Tecchou that you were okay. You could take it. Slowly, you reached out a hand, wrapped it around Tecchou's cock and started pumping him at a steady pace. He hissed, shifting closer to make it easier for you to jerk him off– all the while Jouno continued his deep thrusts. He was bruising the back of your throat, making you choke on that slick mixture of your saliva and his precum that flooded your mouth but the man didn't spare you a moment to catch your breath. "Shhh" he cooed, gathering your hair in a pony tail above your head "Just a little more baby I know you can take it."

Tecchou mused on you with pleading eyes. Your hand was so much softer and smaller compared to his calloused one and it made him feel so, so good. It was cute, really, and watching the way you were struggling to suck Jouno off was making the knot in the pit of his stomach tighten. Jouno noticed the changes in his colleague's demeanor and pulled out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for hair.

"Come here, Tecchou. Face me" he instructed and the brunette obliged, confusion and excitement etched on his pretty features. Jouno guided you between them and smiled down at you, giving the crown of your head gentle strokes "You, my dear, are going to take us both ok?"

"I uh... I don't think this is gonna work" you stammered and Jouno to clicked his tongue in annoyance "We'll make it work. Now open up and take deep breaths. If it hurts pat my leg, ok?" You gave him a hesitant nod before parting your lips and allowing them to slip their dicks inside your mouth. It was a tight fit and Tecchou shuddered when he felt the friction from Jouno's cock. "G-god this is– too much" he sighed, experimentally rocking his hips into your mouth. Jouno resumed his movements too, matching his colleague's pace. Opening your mouth so wide was straining your jaw, their tips poking at the inside of your cheeks, making it impossible for you to hollow them out. Sensing your agitation, Jouno hushed you again, babbling out a few praises. "You're doing well for us, baby. Told you we could make it work. There you go... nice and slow" he sighed, picking up the pace. His mind was clouded with lust– your mouth was so warm, the insides of your cheeks so soft and the obscene slurping sounds you were making only added to the fuel. He could only imagine how beautiful you looked in that moment.

"H-hey Tecchou" he huffed out, grabbing your hair and tilting your head up so the brunette could take a better look at your features. "Tell me what she looks like. Describe her to me."

Tecchou swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking in a soft voice "Uh she looks so pretty. Her eyes and lips are all glossy and fuck– she's drooling t-too". His voice cracked when Jouno suddenly came into your mouth and your eyes shot open, a mewl slipping past your lips. The white haired man pulled out of your mouth, granting Tecchou more space. "Keep going" he urged "Tell me how she feels"

"So, so good now" stammered the brunette, his lashes fluttering shut. Your mouth felt so much warmer now and he watched the creamy ring forming at the base of his cock with keen eyes. The white liquid seeped at the corners of your mouth but you managed to gather it with your tongue. When you started hollowing your cheeks again Tecchou was done for "She's sucking me in so much I– god I'm cumming 'm cumming" His hips stuttered, the tip of your nose bumping against his pelvis as he came into your mouth, flooding it with his cum.

"Shit–" he sighed weakly, caressing your face "I came so much, baby. Are you gonna swallow for us?" You nodded eagerly, parting your lips to showcase your now clean mouth, earning a content hum from Tecchou.

Jouno smiled, tucking himself in before helping you up to your feet and leaning closer to whisper in your ear "Let's do this again soon, shall we? I'm curious to see just how far you're willing to go for us, sweetheart."

[teojira]

HI FRIEND I SAW U WERE DOING $5 COMMISSIONS!?? what are your any and all hcs for wuthering waves any character?? especiallyJiyanaheehehehe ily thank you MWAH

[General Jiyan headcanons] [x reader!]

Summary: headcanons for Jiyan! And you, of course.

Warnings: None that I can think of!

A/N: Jiyan,,,,belobed,,,, thank you for commissioning me!! I hope this is okay!

Jiyan is a busy man, and it's hard for him to take the time away from his duties to spend quality time with you. But he does try.

He's the kind of lover who will make his way home to you in the dead of night, to find you curled up in bed. He makes sure to remove all his armor so the clanking doesn't wake you.

He rests his hand on your face, gently brushing the hair out of your face as he smiles warmly down at you. You're the reason why he fights so hard everyday, he has to protect you and the others, no matter what.

I don't think he'd be touchy, but let's you cling onto him as much as your little heart desires, it doesn't bother him, he only asks that you don't do it while he's on duty.

Hug him, squeeze him, kiss him all you want, he'll sit there and take it because while he may not show it in public, bro will kiss you breathlessly at home.

It's so bad that you gotta tap his shoulder to get him off, you're literally gonna suffocate.

He trains you to protect yourself, he is away alot. This is a no brainer, he worries about you every moment he's away even if he knows it may distract him from his job as a general. He shoves you out of his mind as much as possible, he really does try but it's still there.

Jiyan is a really good househusband, dare I say the better cook and housekeeper. There's something about taking care of you that fills him with joy. While he won't do every, he does every chore with you or you both split it equally.

He likes to playfully flick water off of his fingers at you, and then act as if nothing happened.

"Jiyan, did you just?" "No, what are you referring to?" "You flicked water on me!" "I think you're going a bit insane, my dear."

Oh my god can I say he's youe scary dog privilege? Very few people know you're his partner, so when it does come up, it's usually when you're at the market collecting fruits and vegetables and the like.

He trials behind you like a shadow, humming and nodding when you ask him his preference.

Let's say this is before marriage, he gets RED when people pass along their congratulations to the both of you, he doesn't deny it, just shaking his head behind you with a finger to his lips.

He does have a ring, but it's at the base, statched under his pillow where it'll sit until he's ready.

He doesn't think he'll ever be ready, but when you smile and blush like that, he knows the time will come soon.

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

CoD Headcanons: Back From a Mission Gone Wrong

A/N: Hello friends! So sorry for not posting in a while. Will try to post some hcs and fics more often!

Please check out my 200 follower giveaway if you want a chance to win a customized fic!!

Ghost:

He's so pissed

At first, he doesn't say a thing 

But finally he explodes

Yelling, getting up close

He won't back down until he's got it all out

And once he does, he just walks away to cool down

"You're fucking insane! You're a trained soldier, not some war hero in a movie!" 

"LT, it was just-"

His voice raised even higher until he was shouting. "No excuses! It was fucking reckless and you know it!"

"What, and you don't get to-"

"Shut the fuck up! This isn't a fucking game! I'm so sick of you trying to pull these stunts. You wanna be punished for insubordination? This is the third fucking time you haven't listened to me! And I'm so fucking sick of it!"

You felt your face growing hot. Everyone stared at the two of you as Ghost continued to yell at you. It felt so unfair. You were just doing what you thought was right. But now he was acting like you have never done a single thing right. With a thick swallow, you lowered your head. You couldn't say a thing. He eventually stopped. And once he did, he walked away, leaving you to face the stares of everyone else.

Soap:

Absolutely in shambles

He was so scared that you were gonna die 

He's dealt with this before, but not in a way like this

Soap has never been so terrified

So as soon as he sees you, he clings onto you

Soap's arms were wrapped securely around you. Normally, you wouldn't mind the affection. But now that your arm was in a sling and you were trying to eat lunch, this was more of a nuisance. You groaned, trying to shake off your clingy boyfriend. He didn't budge. It's been only one day since you came back, but he's acting like you'd disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Soap, I need to eat."

He shook his head. "Five more minutes."

"Are you not embarrassed? We're literally in the cafeteria and everyone is staring." You tried pushing him off once again. No luck. 

"I don't care. I almost lost you, so I'm never letting you go again."

Gaz:

He tries to make it seem like he was calm

He knows your strengths and how you manage to pull through

But Gaz can't help but let out a sigh of relief when he sees you in the infirmary

Gaz would sit down next to you and flash you a smile

Crack a joke about how you're immortal

"Well, well, well. You made it back. How unlucky." Gaz sat next to you on the cot. 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. "Wow. I love your concern for me."

"I can't be concerned." He reached out, grabbing your hand. "I know you'll always come back to me."

"Of course I will."

Price:

A mix of anger and concern

The type to be super silent 

That's when you know you've fucked up

Lecture in his office

Will hug you after

The office was silent except for the ticking of his clock. You watched as Price sat back in his seat, smoking a cigar. Your uninjured hand tapped nervously against your thigh. He had just spent the past twenty minutes lecturing you on being more careful and vigilant on missions. But now was the scary part. The silence.

"Captain, I'm really sorry." You finally managed to speak. "I thought I was in the clear. They just came out of nowhere, and I-"

Your words were interrupted as he suddenly got up from his desk. He stalked over to you and leaned down. He hugged you tightly. Cigar smoke curled around the both of you like a second embrace. Your body relaxed.

"Captain…"

"Don't ever do that again."

"Yes, sir."

Alejandro:

He's there when you arrive on base

Immediately looks you over to make sure you're okay

Will mutter under his breath at how reckless you are

But praises you for getting out of there alive

Alejandro was staring at you with his arms crossed as you limped off the aircraft. You could already see the gears turning in his mind, deciding if he should scold you or immediately send you to the infirmary. When you finally stood in front of him, he lifted your chin with his fingers.

"Look at you. How reckless." He mumbled under his breath. His eyes traveled over your face.

"Sorry."

"I know. But you did good, getting out of there alive. I'm proud of you."

König:

The type of anxious guy that has to be doing something

He knows your hurt when you come back, but he isn't there to see you

Instead, he's in the gym, working out

You actually have to find him 

When he sees you, he just kinda breaks down a bit

König wasn't waiting for you when you got back from the mission. You wanted nothing more than to collapse in his arms and complain about how everything went wrong. And yet, he was nowhere to be found. You searched practically the whole base before finding him in the gym, lifting weights.

"I'm back." You said, walking closer to him.

His back was facing you. "I know."

"Can you look at me?"

He turned around. You could just see his shoulders deflate as he looked at your injured body. You sighed and walked up to him. He buried you in a tight hug, his cheek resting on your head. He squeezed you as tightly as possibly. You felt almost bad for messing up on the mission and worrying him.

Keegan:

Calls you idiotic, but brave

Has a bright smile on his face

Can't believe you got out of there alive

Tells you to not do that shit again

Keegan's hands slowly ran down your arms as he looked over you. His eyes were shining with pride. You had just come stumbling out of the Humvee, dizzy and disoriented. After throwing off your helmet, you stare up at Keegan.

"I didn't die!"

"No, you didn't. You're so stupid."

"But brave, right?"

"Right."

Graves:

Will make fun of you

Never thought you would fuck up a mission that badly

Will be incredibly annoying about it

Doesn't even offer to help you?!

Bitch

Graves couldn't stop laughing. He was doubled over, his hand clutching his stomach. You stood in front of him, battered and bruised. A glare was on your face as you waited for him to finish. Of course he wasn't concerned. He was an asshole, why would he be?

"I can't believe you fucked up so badly!"

"Graves…"

"You crashed into a ditch!"

"Graves, I am bleeding profusely! Shut up and help me!"

[sl4sh3rsub]

billy lenz hcs (nsfw: mdni)

billy lenz x reader (AFAB, AMAB, FtM, MtF)

warning: this is set in the mid-to-late 70s, perversion, old school + kinda one-sided phone sex, billy is loud as fuck + a creep + delusional, scent/musk kink, cumming on clothing, copious mentions of cum + precum, using cum as lube, dry humping, extremely dubious consent (somnophilia), masturbation (+ billy edging), oral sex (both giving + receiving, facefucking reeiiving), reader is referred to as 'piggy', p in v + anal (all unprotected - pls stay safe irl), ass eating/nondescript tongue fucking (giving + receiving), handjob mention, implied violence (not towards reader), overstimulation (giving + receiving), diy home reno gloryhole, old school cum tribute, foot humping/light cbt??, light bondage (pun), sex toys (for billy), hickeys + biting (giving + receiving)

a/n: kinda edited. happy holidays folks!! this might be ooc but i swear i tried. was gonna add more feet stuff bc it's billy, but decided against it. if you're into that kinda thing, use your imagination - i only mentioned it once and i think that's enough tbh. this one also doesn't have as much literal sexual intercourse as my other hcs (just a heads up) it's been a hot minute since i've watched the film, so the characteristics might be off (i based this on my own interpretation of him and i haven't really read any billy fics recently.. oops) it's a little rushed but i really did try! hope you like it

order: general hcs first then amab + afab then ftm + mtf, different sections = different content n tried not to repeat much

_ _ _ _ _

general hcs

billy got bored of all the sorority piggies and moved, hiding in a mixed residential college dorm building - a creaky colonial-style residence with a spacious attic. the first time he sees you, you're getting dressed to join the other boarders for dinner. billy heard you humming to a radio and peered down between the cracks in the stained floorboard. he's been unhealthily obsessed with you since then <3

billy is an absolute pervert and will sexualize anything and everything you do. from scratching your neck to wandering around your room in your underwear, he's already ogling and muttering how much of a fuckin tease you are

he becomes bolder over time and eventually sneaks into your room at night. after you catch him lurking in the darkness of your room and he doesn't get immediately thrown out, he grows more and more trusting of you. billy becomes accepting of your begrudging attraction to him and he definitely takes full advantage of it :< you reluctantly give him permission to venture into your room if he needs company or an outlet for his pent-up sexual energy - it must be pretty cold and lonely in the attic, what's the harm in cuddling with the lanky man? he's already your dirty secret and at this point, he'd kill for you

his favourite pastime is calling your room's rotary phone during the day and either making mundane conversation with you or having you listen to his rambling as he strokes his cock, not even ten feet away from you. if you start bashfully touching yourself to his babbling or accidentally let slip a moan, tilt your head towards the ceiling so he can see your blissed-out expressions (he definitely cums on the spot)

if you want to get in his good books, put some old cabaret music on your cassette player and give billy a show - whether it's a sensual strip tease or you touching yourself on your bed, billy will be over the moon. as the music ends and the room is quiet - apart from your heavy breathing and thumping heartbeat - little gasps and applause drifts down from your ceiling, making you blush and whisper your thanks

there is not a moment when this man is quiet. in sexual situations, of course he's going to breath loudly, growl and spout obscenities, but even in regular conversation he rambles and expresses his opinions in long, convoluted trains of thought

billy loves it when you're just with him - in reality, you're alone in your room with a creep peering down at you from above, but it's better to let him be delusional. no harm has come of it... yet

don't worry your silly little head about the opaque liquid dripping from ceiling, directly above the bed :< it's either his spit, tears or precum drooling down between the wooden paneling from him constantly edging, the sight of you just existing is enough to turn him on. if it somehow lands on you, billy will cum instantly at the sight of you with his love painting your skin. you look like his perfect piggy, he can't help it :(

he has a habit of dragging his leaking tip over your face while you sleep, smearing his musky precum over your skin for you to smell when you wake. his favourite hobby is staining your skin in his stinky, salty scent - from cumming in your underwear as a way of marking you to wiping off his pre on your lips (as to not stain his boxers), he will make any excuse to clean off his cock on you. if you've been dismissive of him or too caught up in studying, he'll threaten to wake you up by dragging his musty balls over your face. just saying.

whenever he sneaks down to spend time with you skin-to-skin, billy practically goes feral. he's already jittery and constantly rock hard, so expect him to hump you like the degenerate mutt he is. every time you hug or lie next to him, he'll wrap his arms around you and start grinding against you, burying his face in your shoulder. he might not even want to initiate sex!! billy just wants to show his affection and attraction to you :(

billy isn't lying on the phone calls about what he wants to do to you. his inexperience is second to his enthusiasm and need to tongue-fuck you at every given opportunity. your spit-shined, sloppy hole is his favourite view on any day of the week and you bet he's going to make the most of it. make sure to place down a towel under his hips while he goes to town, he tends to leak precum freely and stain your bedsheets whenever you two so much as hug :>

he is a massive drooler, so watch out for the spit puddles on your pillow and mattress after he graces you with a visit. billy is also massive fan of visiting you in the dark - be it night or whenever you have your curtains closed - as he is pretty embarrassed about his constant ahegao face. it's especially prevalent when you touch him just right or suckle on his skin in that perfect spot

billy is constantly babbling about how much you can take his juicy, meaty cock in your tight piggy hole and frantically escalates whenever you pick up the phone. he always describes how he's gonna taste your arousal and fuck you until your legs are shaking, his fingers itching to touch every inch of you. billy's third-person descriptions throw you off a little, but he gets the point across pretty well. his insane squeals and huffs get louder as the lewd, wet rhythm picks up with every passing minute

if someone picks on you, he'll find their phone number and target them with streams of profanities and harassment until they leave you alone and back off. if you come home crying from a bad experience around strangers or tell him of someone who attempted to hurt you, he'll take it upon himself to dispose of them. how else would he rid himself his violent urges? he has to protect you and keep you for himself somehow

expect weird, out of place stains on all of your clothing. from small splatters to large and obvious splotches, every clothing item has remnants of his visits to your dorm room

billy has long-winded phone calls with you, about everything from your life to your interests and favourite things. there's shuffling above you every once in a while, but don't worry about it. it's not possums or raccoons in the insulation, just billy trying to get comfortable - his back aches from craning his neck to see you in, leering from in between the wooden gaps

he will leave you little scribbled notes on crumpled, used envelopes - his barely legible chicken scratch goes on about how pretty you look when he's looking down at you and how fun you are to play with

billy is incredibly touch starved - he'll regift items he finds laying around in exchange for kisses or even a rushed handjob (if he asks nicely enough). the nicer and less dusty the present, the better the reward

his idea of heaven is the feeling of you gagging and choking on his dick, especially the dazed look in your eyes while he fucks your face. the way you catch your breath and let him just stand above you, staring at the mess of cum he made on your face, has his heart pounding in his chest. billy's gaze is one of pure adoration, especially when you have his throbbing cock resting safely in your mouth

prepare to be overstimulated!! he's a fuck machine and will go until he's shooting blanks, or you shove him off to take a break. he is so conditioned from his constant masturbating that he does not get soft after shooting his load - he keeps hissing through the sensitivity as he drills into you like a jackrabbit, hitting your deepest points and sending shivers down your spine. he uses his thick, goopy cum as lube half of the time - he often cums the second he pushes into you, feeling your warmth around him. good thing he has animalistic stamina and strong thighs :>

billy is extremely noisy but will gladly attempt to muffle himself if it means he won't get found out, if it means he gets to stay in the residence - with you - for longer. he's a whiny and breathy moaner though, so never expect complete silence

his pale skin practically glows under the moonlight whenever he pays you a night-time visit. his cock bobs whenever you ghost your fingers over his side and through his hair, precum pooling and dripping down his long length as he gently moves his foreskin back to reveal his flushed - borderline purplish red - cock head. the few freckles scattering his tummy and the wild, wispy brown bush surrounding his base makes him feel pretty insecure about his body - it's not at all like the buff, tan men in the risqué mags or porno tapes. reassure him that he's mouthwateringly attractive, swollen cock and all. the one downside of giving billy head is that his cum tastes very acidic and bitter - invite him to share a healthy lunch of salad and fruit with a healthy jug of water every once in a while, it'll benefit you both

most of the encounters between you two will happen at night or with him partially obscured, but eventually he'll gain enough confidence to emerge from his den and visit during the daytime

he makes a glory hole at the top of the stairs that lead to the attic - he knocks out a section of paneling that's hidden next to a cabinet, perfect for you to hide behind while kneeling :< he's not that considerate though, he still forces you to be vigilant while he makes you choke on his length without a care - you can't give him away, not in a compromising position like this!!

he sneaks into your bathroom and showers with your hair product and soap whenever he feels lonely. he's too musty to change his clothing and wear some of yours, but he's not above nicking your clothes detergent whenever your scent starts fading away.

billy is also in the habit of hiding in the shower behind the partially see-through curtain, lurking - his presence makes you hum in greeting as you wash your hands in the sink. he might stick his hard cock out from behind the curtain and giggle as it bobs just in your line of sight. if you decide to glance up at the tall silhouette while you take him down your throat, you'll see his hands scrunching the material into a wrinkled mess. at least you have billy's musty cardigan to kneel on, bruised knees are never fun

if you fall asleep while studying on your desk, he'll scuttle down and shift you ontop of the bed - he can't have his object of affection feeling under the weather. strained muscles and unnecessary soreness are gonna get in the way of your fun time with billy!

you might think you're going insane from time to time... don't worry though. the giggles, shuffling and faint moans echoing in your head are real, he's living directly above you after all. nothing to worry about :<

he is a little bit of a hoarder and definitely a thief - from strands of your hair on the floor to dirty tissues that landed in the bin after a masturbation session, it all ends up in billy's little gross pile of stuff in the corner of his lair

billy is creepy and definitely sneaks into your room at night to jerk off furiously in the corner - he loves looming in the shadows as his tip leaks like a broken faucet, groaning at the peaceful sight of you sleeping without a care. if he's feeling adventurous, he'll use your limp hand to hold his balls as he drips all over your mattress and strokes his length

whenever he's bored of the stashed porn mags in the attic, billy watches you below as you study and his hand wanders south. he uses your speed of writing as the metronome of his strokes and tries his best to not fuck his hand at the thought of giving you some 'under the desk support'

while you're out in classes, he beelines towards your bed and takes a nap in your bed, cuddling with one of your plushies. you may have caught him mid-snooze more than once, but you'd best not bring up how cute the stinky man looks or else he'll start sulking

billy guilt trips you into paying more attention to him - he needs someone to talk to plus he can fuck you too, what else could you possibly want? you see how needy he is firsthand when you return after class, walking in on him pinching his nipples as he bucks his hips and humps into your pillow. his desperate whines of your name tug at your heartstrings as you coo at his pathetic display. he really does get lonely though - billy likes imagining how it would feel to be hugged by you whenever he's feeling chilly upstairs

he will sit on your face as he gets off on demeaning you, sensually running his fingers over his cockhead as he rests his tight balls on the bridge of your nose. he has a knack for degrading you but isn't able to resist praising you, babbling about how good you're being for him and how hard he is because of you

he scatters polaroid cum tributes around your room whenever he visits without you noticing. all of the photos he took of you are eerie and at angles that could only be explained by him tailing you throughout your day-to-daylife. don't feel paranoid though, he's only wanting to ensure your safety! unfortunately, the evidence of his lurking was too tempting for him... it's now permanently stained with evidence of his lust. hope you like the present

billy asks you to buy him a vibrator for christmas! why- what do you mean no? but he gets lonely, he'll need something to keep him company. would you change your mind if he says you can use it on him too? :>

he cleans up your room to the best of his ability! he's not all altruistic though... billy steals your chewed pencils, sniffs your dirty underwear and swaps out your sweaty pillowcases to cuddle with and huff your scent from later

billy lenz is actually gross. he will want to bend over you and bury his nose into your chest, armpits and crotch after a long day. your sweat is such a turn-on for him, his cock swelling the moment you swing open your dorm door with a tired groan

if he wants to be more submissive to you, he'll beg you to help him cum by lightly grinding your foot into his throbbing cock. billy's bulge may strain against his sweatpants and tears may roll down his face, but the damp patch betrays his filthy arousal as it grows progressively bigger. the moment you comment on his enjoyment, he flushes deep red and his masochistic grin betrays how drunk he is on the pressure of your foot

tie him to a chair with old christmas lights he found in the attic, the glass bulb clinking together as he shivers at your teasing - slowly suck his cock and trail up to his tip with your tongue, edging him to the point of tears. he drools as you squeeze his cock slightly in his hand and scold him for being such a pervert

_ _ _ _ _

amab hcs

he mutters how soft your skin is and how handsome you look under him. yes, he might narrate the entire time (in third person, nonetheless) but billy never fails to groan how amazing you feel as you clench around him

if you lie quietly in bed, you'll hear obscene and muffled ramblings about your 'juicy piggy cock' and billy's perverted fantasies drifting down from the paneled ceiling

if you roll onto your back throughout a night when billy pays you a visit, he'll palm and kiss at your bulge as you sleep. he hisses in delight whenever you hump into his warm mouth, muffled noises becoming breathier with each passing moment. his guilty pleasure is dragging his tongue along your length and hearing your bleary whimpers

find two dildos that have a similar size and shape as you! he is pretty inexperienced in same-sex relationships, so why not help him practice? it'll be much easier for him to train his hole and gag reflex if he can practice on your size, even when you're away from your dorm :>

billy gets extremely jealous whenever you speak to anyone ever :( if he catches you planning a date or even talking to someone else, he'll whine a lot more than normal and sniffle down the line the next time you pick up the receiver. he might be able to pass it off as his normal attitude and shenanigans, but you know him better than he gives you credit for. invite him down to your room, cuddle him for a bit and fuck him into the mattress to show how much you care - whisper about how good he's being for you and mark up his neck with love bites

tangle your fingers in his hair as you kiss down his jaw, guiding him to sit in your lap as you shift in your seat and buck up into him. watch as his eyes roll and his tongue lolls as you hit his prostate over and over, fucking him dumb so easily

_ _ _ _ _

afab hcs

he mutters how soft your skin is and how pretty you look under him. yes, he might narrate the entire time (in third person, nonetheless) but he groans out how amazing you feel as you take him down to the balls

if you lie quietly in bed, you'll hear obscene and muffled ramblings about your 'pretty piggy cunt' and billy's perverted fantasies drifting down from the paneled ceiling

billy cums all over your pussy as you sleep, leaving you to blearily wake up in confusion as it cools on your skin. it's already a messy cleanup, so be thankful he didn't choose to mark his territory your whole body

he wants you to sit on his face!! billy will eat you out like no tomorrow, throbbing and leaking uncontrollably into your sheets. he slurps and sucks on your clit until you see stars - despite his inexperience, his vigor and obvious enjoyment makes up for his sloppy movements

he squishes and squeezes at your tits as he sits crisscross on your mattress, staring in fascination. his excitement visibly increases at every mewl and whine from your mouth, jolting at your louder noises and chuckling at your breathless gasps. the softness of your breasts always catches him off-guard, his constant need to cum all over your chest becoming more and more obvious

the lewd sounds of him stroking his cock and you fingering your cunt are all the more prevalent whenever you're lying down together and he's spooning you. he's panting into your hair, wrapping his free arm around your waist from behind as you circle you clit firmly. the obscene, sloppy sounds echoing throughout your room end up on replay in both your heads for the next day

_ _ _ _ _

ftm hcs

he mutters how soft your skin is and how handsome you look under him. yes, he might narrate the entire time (in third person, nonetheless) but he groans out how amazing you feel as you take him to the hilt

if you lie quietly in bed, you'll hear obscene and muffled ramblings about your 'wet piggy hole' and billy's perverted fantasies drifting down from the paneled ceiling

billy cums all over your boypussy as you sleep, leaving you to blearily wake up in confusion as it cools on your skin. it's already a messy cleanup, so be thankful he didn't choose to mark your skin up as well. he's a notorious biter and will not shy away from leaving bruises to ward off competition

he loves cornering you against your wall in the middle of the night - everything from the feeling of your arousal coating onto his fingers as he jerks you off, to the sharpness of your teeth biting into his shoulders as you muffle yourself. his favourite part is feeling your muscles slowly relaxing as you come down from your high

he suckles on your tcock as you leak down and coat his chin in your cum. billy will be a menace and run his cockhead against your hole and use your precum to jack off, coating your heated skin in his thick spend

he loves hearing how ruined the both of you become whenever you fuck yourself on his cock - he has the perfect vantage point to watch you bounce on his lap as he digs his fingers into your waist, sloppy sounds echoing around the room as his balls slap against your ass. billy's panting whimpers sound so pretty as he grits his teeth whenever you clench on his length

_ _ _ _ _

mtf hcs

he mutters how soft your skin is and how pretty you look under him. yes, he might narrate the entire time (in third person, nonetheless) but he groans out how amazing you feel as you clench around him. he has a habit of burying his nose in your hair whenever he bottoms out, needing to be drowned in your scent and the feeling of your pussy

if you lie quietly in bed, you'll hear obscene and muffled ramblings about your 'pretty piggy hole' and billy's perverted fantasies drifting down from the paneled ceiling

if you roll onto your back throughout the night, he mouths at your bulge as you sleep. he hisses in delight whenever you hump into his warm mouth, muffled noises becoming breathier with each throb against his lips

he will swipe a lipstick or two for you - the sight of you with it smeared all over your face after a rough facefucking makes him giggle with glee, the pigment staining the base of his cock. he thinks you're all the more beautiful when he gets to ruin your makeup after you're all done up for him

billy latches onto your tits whenever you're shirtless - he loves leaving teeth marks and bruises around your nipples, practically marking his territory. he especially loves when the purple love-bites peek out over the cup of your bra :>

he loves bending you over your bed whenever he fucks you, your face buried in your pillow to muffle you loud noises as your girlcock dribbles all over your sheets. it's not like billy isn't making a mess either - his drool flying everywhere as he fucks you in a frenzy, balls slapping against the back of your pretty thighs. no matter how much or how deep he cums in you, it always dribbles back out of you and stains your bedding with the drying droplets

_ _ _ _ _

if modern day billy lenz had a ph account and made videos of him masturbating in the dark (while making his weird noises and shit), he would have a solid fanbase of weirdos who find it creepy and hot. i'm saying this as someone who would watch him religiously btw :>

thanks for reading. lmk if you liked it. if i got anything wrong, don't hesitate to tell me.

stay safe.

[zoldsick]

Kings and Jesters

♕ summary: zoro x f!reader - a silly game on the Thousand Sunny causes Zoro to confront his feelings about their newest member. Based on my original bullet point HC here.

♕ tags: fluff, first kiss, sfw

♕ wordcount: ~2.2k

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Zoro was drunk. He needed to think and therefore was on his second bottle of hard liquor. He always did his best thinking when he was drunk, right?

Zoro thought long and hard about you. What was it about you? Why did he keep feeling himself drawn to you? Whatever it was, he was done letting you in so carelessly. He would not let you invade his mind. He had decided whatever he was feeling was most definitely not romantic feelings. He was sure of it. He would make sure of it.

After coming to this decision he continued to sit back on the bird's nest and enjoy his drink, all the while he desperately tried to tune out the charades taking place on the main deck. One voice in particular, he begged to stop hearing.

…

It was a silly drinking game. 

You were the one who introduced this game to the Strawhat crew, and everyone was having a blast. The game involved drinking, stupid challenges, and inconsequential punishments. Everything a silly party game needs. 

After you introduced the game to the Strawhat crew, they picked it up in stride. The game was called “King” and it involved competing in a handful of goofy challenges in which the winner of each round was crowned the King and the rest of the losers had to drink. The King was then allowed to penalize one of the losers by implementing a punishment- which was usually making them complete some sort of dare. Additionally, to add incentive, Nami decided she would be collecting a “Cowards Fee” on anyone who didn’t want to complete their dare. Suffice to say, everyone was going through with them. 

In other words, it was a fast, fun way to get wasted. 

The Sunny was sailing into an autumn climate and the air was chilly. You were grateful for the fireplace Franky had built as you felt the gentle breeze glide along your back. You smiled as you watched Sanji bring out a tray of marshmallows towards Chopper, who perked up at the idea of sweets. The moon was nearly full and everyone had finally settled around the fireplace living off of the alcoholic buzz and comradery that the game created. Well, almost everyone. 

Sanji cried out in anguish as the whole crew choked on their laughter. Franky was the previous winner and had declared that Sanji would be punished by eating a bite of a dangerously spicy pepper he had picked up on a previous island. It was not a pretty sight.

They had all come up with pretty good punishments this round. Usopp was forced to hold a spider that Robin found under the deck, Luffy was punished by Usopp, who dared him to jump into the ocean—given that Usopp would rescue him shortly after— and sweet Chopper made Robin give him a head massage behind his ears. Of course, Robin didn’t think this was much of a punishment, and happily scratched Chopper's head. 

“I WIN!” Nami shouted, jumping up and looking devilishly at the crew. Who knew Nami would be so good at card games?

Nami peered around at the crew grinning as she thought about what punishment would bring the most entertainment. 

“Pick me Nami ~” Sanji said, earning an eye roll from the orange haired girl. “Punish me please ~” She ignored his begging, but this did give her an idea. She suddenly turned towards you. You flinched under her mischievous gaze. You had been spared all night and now had a bad feeling it was about to become your turn. Just as predicted, her finger shot out and pointed straight at you. 

“Y/N. Don’t get cocky because you’re new on this ship. Stand up!” 

You got up from your seated position chuckling nervously at Nami’s antics. You doubted she would give you something too terrible, she’s been very protective of you since you boarded the Sunny. The Strawhats all cheered as you walked over to Nami, hooting and hollering for a good punishment. 

Nami slapped her hand across your shoulders, “Alright, Y/N. As a guest on this ship you must show your gratitude to the crew! I demand you give one of our crewmates a kiss! I’ll even be nice and let you choose who, though I think the answer is easy enough.” Nami said, batting her eyelashes at you. 

Your eyes widened, mouth agape, you couldn’t find the words to respond. You could feel your ears turn red as the whole crew exploded in excitement. Sanji went comatose. 

“Nami… I don’t know about this.” You complained, “I don't know if I’m comfortable with a …kiss.” 

“What’s wrong? Too many good options?” Shouted out Franky, “Choose me! I’ll definitely make it SUPER!” 

“It’s just a small kiss. No need to read into it,” said Robin. 

Sanji, staggered to his feet, “Y/N, I would be honored if you chose me as a representative of this ship, to bestow a k-k-kis-” he stopped to cover his nose as a jet of blood shot from it and he collapsed back again. 

Luffy protested, “But I’m the Captain! I’m the representative of the ship!” 

“Luffy, do you really want Y/N to kiss you?” questioned Usopp. 

“What? No. I’m just sayin’ I’m the Captain!” 

“SO! Y/N, who is it going to be?” Nami interrupted, stopping the crew from getting too off-topic. 

“Guys, I really don’t know about this. It’s not really something I’m, particularly… experienced in.” You beg your face to stop changing colors but feel your cheeks betraying you. 

“What do you mean?” Robin pressed, “Have you ever kissed anyone?” 

You desperately try to avoid eye contact. “Uh…” 

The deck of the Sunny suddenly went silent and you felt your embarrassment deepen even more. Suddenly everyone exploded in astonishment and reinvigorated competition. 

“Oh. My. God.” Nami couldn’t believe it, “This changes everything. ALRIGHT EVERYONE! This is now a competition to see who deserves to receive Y/N’s first kiss!” 

…

 Zoro’s drunken brooding was interrupted by shouts and arguing. He shifted from where he sat, the shouts weren’t in fear or danger, but emotions were definitely high. Luffy’s laugh pierced through the yells. What the hell are those idiots doing?

Zoro stood up and stumbled a little, suddenly feeling the liquor working through his veins. Zoro descended the birdnest’s ladder and staggered towards the main deck. As he turned the corner an odd scene appeared before him. Zoro couldn’t quite make out what the argument was about, but he heard everyone shouting over each other.

“I’m the one who initiated the dare in the first place! So I’m the obvious choice here! It’s only fair!” screamed Nami, pulling hard on Usopp’s ear who yelped out in pain. 

“Oh yeah?” Usopp winced, “Well I was the best kisser in all of Syrup Village! It should be me!” 

“That’s nice, but if we are basing this on experience, the older members should be at the top of the list. Right, Franky?” Robin asserted.

“RRRRRRRRRIGHT AS ALWAYS, ROBIN!” Franky posed showing off his muscles, “Y/N! Robin and I are obviously the best choices!” 

Sanji was incoherent, struggling to stop his still bleeding nose. All that could be heard was a pathetic beg, “Please… Please… Y/N’s first… Please…” 

Luffy and Chopper sat back laughing at the whole crew, uninterested in the prize and stuffing their cheeks with marshmallows. 

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” Zoro said gruffly.

You jumped slightly. You were so focused on the chaos that was taking place in front of you that you didn’t notice Zoro walking up. 

“Oh, Zoro. Uh… We were playing a game and…” You struggled to get the words out. 

Zoro waited, watching you squirm with cheeks flushed. This is unfair. 

You launched into a story, something about a game and a punishment, but Zoro wasn’t following. He was just staring, watching the way your lips formed each word. One might say he was distracted. Thankfully, he tuned back in to hear the conclusion. 

“- and so now everyone is arguing about who’s going to get my… first kiss. I guess. It’s all so dumb, I just want this to be over with.” you said burying your face in your hands as you heard Nami smack Sanji’s head back down after he had finally gotten back up.

“They’re what?” Zoro finally comprehended the implications of this punishment. Y/N’s first kiss…

“I know, I don’t know how to get out of this. Nami will probably bleed my pockets dry if I bail out. Probably best to just choose someone and get it over with.” You peeked out of your hands up at him. You were getting redder by the second. 

Zoro looked at the brawling party and then back to you. His chest hurt. 

“First kiss, how stupid.” he mumbled.

“I know! That’s what I’m trying to tell everyo--” 

There was a crash and suddenly Zoro’s hands were gripping your face, and before you could process it, his lips were crashing into yours. 

It was nothing like you imagined your first kiss would go. It was clumsy and he tasted like liquor. One of his hands gripped your jaw and the other tangled in your hair. You could barely keep up with his pace. One of your hands gripped his shirt and the other gripped his arm to ground yourself. His tongue was gliding over yours forcefully, you squeeked at the unfamiliar sensation, which only seemed to encourage Zoro. 

It only lasted around 10 seconds, but when Zoro finally broke the kiss you couldn’t move. Your whole body felt like jelly. His face hovered close to yours, eyes barely open, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not to continue. He suddenly took a long step back, clearing his throat and touching his mouth with his fingers.

All members of the Strawhat crew were staring, mouths wide open. Zoro’s bottle of liquor was still spilling out from where he dropped it. 

There was a beat, then the crew fell into disarray.   

Zoro ignored the ruckus happening next to him and struggled to look down at you. He shouldn’t have done that. He finally mustered up the courage to look at you and noticed you were an alarming shade of red. If steam started coming out of your ears he wouldn’t be surprised. Your mouth hung slightly open, lips slightly swollen from his rough kiss, he could tell you were struggling to register what had just happened. He froze as you looked up at him. 

It was like he got punched in the gut. You were incredibly flustered, your eyes slightly watery, and your hair disheveled. His breath hitched. God, what did I just do? 

He quickly looked away, struggling to maintain his composure. Trying to look anywhere besides you. Seeing you this flustered after a simple kiss was not going to help his current crisis. Suddenly a sob broke through the noise and Zoro turned to see who it was coming from. 

Sanji was on the floor crying, looking straight at Zoro, “How… HOW COULD YOU! YOU BEAST!” 

He jumped up, joined by all the other competitors for your first kiss. Chopper knocked down Zoro’s legs and he fell onto his stomach, Usopp jumped on his back and grabbed his hair, yanking it back and yelling back, “How was that fair, you jerk!” 

Sanji took advantage of the fallen Zoro and got a few weak kicks in, still wiping the tears from his eyes. He can’t even speak, he’s too furious, seeing Zoro kiss a woman was the nail on his mental coffin. Luffy can’t stop laughing. 

“They’re RIGHT Zo-Bro,” Franky says, twisting his arm to engage his weapons-left, “I never heard the lady give her permission.” 

“Hey! Argh! Stop it! What’s the big deal? It’s just a first kiss! I’ve never done that before either, it’s nothing!” 

There was a second pause while everyone took in this new information. Robin, unaware she was  about to rub salt in wounds, spoke up, "So, you’re each other's first kiss?" 

Zoro struggled against his crew and managed to look at you. The second you make eye contact neither of you could hold back the blush that made its way across your cheeks and up to your ears. 

The crew bursts into hysterics once again. 

Unable to withstand the attention and incapable of processing everything that just happened, you turned around and ran off into the women’s bunks. Gotta cool my head, gotta cool my head, gotta cool my head— What was that?! 

The crew watched as you retreated, then got in a few more blows to berate and beat Zoro. After a while everyone felt satisfied that Zoro had been appropriately punished, and left him alone. But Zoro didn’t move, he stayed facedown on the lawn of the Sunny, defeated. He was in time out, trying to think about his actions. 

He heard Usopp goofing around with Luffy and Chopper, bragging about how he alone managed to defeat the feared pirate hunter Zoro. Sanji had also dragged himself away sniffling, leaving to make the crew some hot cocoa before bed per Chopper’s request. Finally the deck was silent once again.

Zoro finally sat up, looking down at his own hands, “She didn’t need to run off like that, it’s not a big deal.” He spoke out loud, still trying to convince his crew, but mostly himself. 

Just then, Robin sprouted a hand from his back and slapped him on top of the head. 

He looked up at Robin in disbelief, “Not your best move, Swordsman,” she said from a distance and walked away. 

It’s possible that Zoro does not do his best thinking when he is drunk. 

♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕

author's notes: hope that was a little more fun than the original bullet points. this was originally in a much longer slow-burn story that I decided to ditch, so it's been written for awhile. I might just post the fun parts of that story and edit them to make sense as a one-shot. As always thanks to @nanpecan for editing, go read her nanami fic, it rulez

[inesbaby21]

can you do azzi with a cheerleader hcs?

Of course!

AZZI FUDD X CHEERLEADER!READER

ღ You two most definitely film game day grwms!

ღ Definitely the LOUDEST cheering during half time for the cheer squad idc argue with a wall

ღ Matching everything! shoes, bags for like traveling/practice and omg matching game day fits!

ღ Definitely spends no practice days doing skin care, or watching you work on tumbling/coming up with cheer routines!

ღ Kinda on/off topic, but i'm seeing cheerleader!reader with the THICKEST southern accent like omg.

ღ Taking care of each other after injuries, or draining practices

ღ You two definitely have the best car ride/pregame playlist

ღ I'm also kinda seeing cheerleader!reader and azzi being like an annoying pda couple 😞

ღ Taking each other out to eat after a loss/win and arguing about who's gonna pay for sure!

"But you payed last time Azzi, it's my treat!" you say looking down in that empty ass purse ..

ღ SHE DEFINITELY CARRIES YOUR CHEER BAG AND POMS BEFORE GAMES AND AFTER PRACTICE.

ღ Cutest media day pictures together oh my goodness!

ღ Most supportive girlfriend EVER, wearing her jersey to games when it's allowed! matching hairstyles, and cheering extra loud when your girl has the ball!

ღ Definitely tries to get you to teach how to cheer (fails miserably, and she rolls her ankle)

ღ And if you're a flyer, she's definitely on edge when you have to do stunting in routines! (your bases are strong, but yk antsy girlfriends and all ..)

ღ First person she goes up to after a win/loss

ღ VLOGS VLOGS VLOGS, YOU GOTTA KEEP THE AZZI FANS FEED AND SHE SURE DOESNT POST 😞

ღ Cheerleader!Reader Definitely did drill/dance team in high school no doubt (plus cheer guys ofc)

ღThe cutest signal for interviews/And she knows you're at home watching

OKOK GUYS, SO IM DONE WITH THIS ONE BUT SEND IT MORE I HAVE LIKE 3 MORE REQUEST TO DO AND I LOVE WRITING. ALSO THANKS FOR 500 LIKES 🙂‍↕️

And send some for ice! i wanna write for ice so bad but i literally have no ideas 😞

[signedkoko]

Could I pls get hcs about Vox having a fem! s/o who's close friends with Alastor's GN! s/o?? Like what's Vox's take on this friendship?? Because I feel like this is an interesting cocept lmao. Ty!! <3

Vox X Reader [Romantic]

In which your close friend is dating the enemy of Vox; Alastor

Vox was the looming eyes behind every device in all of hell, so much so that his reach was beyond just pride- psychologically and informationally, at least

He knew everyone's secrets, whereabouts, relationships

Or so he thought

Because it was more than surprising when one late afternoon at dinner, your name was called by a face he vaguely recalled, another sinner who snuck to your table to greet you in a warm embrace

Oh yes, he certainly would remember someone so close to his mortal enemy

" Darling, have I ever introduced you to my lovely best friend? I'm so sorry I never called! It's been so busy since I found this one over here...! "

You pointed to Vox, giggling, though the tv was far from amused at the situation unfolding across the table from him

" Have I introduced you to my new boyfriend? He's super classy! "

As your friend spoke, a looming shadow closed in and wrapped its arm around your friends waist, another hand just inches from landing on your shoulder

That same hand was smacked away with a sudden screech of the heavy table moving and several glasses rattling

The whole restaurant had gone silent as Vox stood over you, claws digging into Alastors wrist and holding it high above your head

" My oh my! Was offering a kind embrace to my beloved's closest friend too much for you? "

Alastors voice was one you, yourself, recognized

Ah.

So you and your friend had a similar taste for media based overlords

nice

Vox was ticked off more than Alastor seemed to be, so you carefully pushed him away from the deer-like demon and made distance so Vox wasn't so worried about you being near him

" Let's talk later! Maybe we can set something up- just us two! "

Your friend called over their shoulder as they dragged Alastor back to their corner of the restaurant

Vox is just bewildered that of all people in hell, with SO many options, of course your closest friend had to be dating that asshole

" No double dates "

" I figured "

Author's Note - Teehee hi voxxxx its me koko your favourite writerrr 🖤Thank you so much for requesting!! I was a bit unsure of your request based off wording so I hope I caught it right!