3ri51982-blog

[buckistheman]

I think re buddie people need to take a breath and just enjoy their relationship regardless of what kind of title it has or is getting. Because love is love no matter how it looks. Bc platonic love is equal to romantic love. And I think a reminder is needed to separate fanfic to the canon show. I fear for my boys and my favourite TV show of getting hate if it doesn't fulfill an idea of Love that is more common for people who feel sexual and romantic attraction. Yes I would love to see Buck and Eddie kiss on the lips and for Eddie to get some Dick bc i think it would do wonders for his cathloc guilt and for Buck to experience a new side of Sex. But that's also my years of fanfic brain talking. Which I am able to separate from the TV show. Every time when watching the show I can see that Buddie is perfect the way they are in canon. Love isn't about kisses and sex. Love is so much more. They have a family in each other. Eddie isn't raising Chris on his own. And Buck has a couch he can sleep on. None of that changes.

[chemicalarospec]

it makes me sad how many aspec posts (and videos and other individual-generated content) are just being upset about this depiction or that one. we NEED more (semi-mainstream) aspec rep so bad, so that nobody has to feel hurt when 1 kind of aspec that they are not is represented and the only 1 they see :(

[rubydubydoo122]

What are your thoughts on some of the more popular ships? Fanon and canon. For example superbat, bruce x harvey dent, tim x kon, dick x babs, dick x kory, jay x roy, steph x cass, damian x jon, pennywaynes,...

I’ll list them out

Superbat (Clark/Bruce): I find this ok, but personally, I like it when the trinity acts more like siblings, so it’s not my favorite. 5/10

BruHarvey: lovers to enemies? The angst? Amazing. 8/10

Dickbabs: idk. It feels kinda boring to me. Mainly because DC ruined both of their characters in order for them to be together. 4/10

DicKori: they’re soulmates. Idk what to tell you. And maybe you can tell how biased I am. Right now, they are the opitome of right person wrong time. 10/10

Jayroy: I don’t like this ship. It reduces Roy’s character down to a prop, the age gap feels kinda icky and I personally believe in Aro/Ace Jason Todd. 1/10

Superbat (Kon/Tim): the only version of superbat I truly ship. Reluctant friends, to besties, to flirty friendship, to a game of cat and mouse on if that taunt was real or if they were just fooling around? 10/10

DamiJon: I think their age gap never works in their favor. Either Damian’s too old or Jon’s too old, and it makes me feel wrong. And in more recent comics, they’ve been acting much more like siblings than friends who maybe possibly have chemistry with each other. But I do think if you wanted to go the romance route, it could be double unrequited love that was never expressed. Like a 10yr old Jon had a crush on a 13 yr old Damian. Jon left for almost a decade and comes back, looses feelings for Damian, but a 14yr old Damian has feelings for an 18 yr old Jon, but it never works out. 5/10. Just like their Dads

PENNYWAYNESSSS: 100000000/10. Like are you kidding me, this is the best ship ever and I love it so much.

Honorable mentions:

BruTalia: 10/10. My favorite Bruce ship.

Brulina: 8/10. I like it… but I feel like it wouldn’t work out because Selina would get overwhelmed by the amount of wealth Bruce has. Like she thinks it’s what she wants, but it’s too much for her

Birdflash (Dick/Wally): 8/10. I see the appeal, they’re best friends with so much chemistry, but I feel like they would never date bc they value their friendship more and they’re both super busy

JayKyle: it’s the only Jason ship I like, but only because I want it to be one sided, with Kyle failing to flirt with Jason and Jason is completely oblivious and actually just hates Kyle but Kyle thinks Jason’s playing hard to get. (Kyles flirting is just arguing with Jason, so that’s why Jason never gets the hint) 7/10 +300 bc of hillarity

StephTim: I don’t like this ship because Stephanie deserves so much better, and Tim seems like the type to mansplain every little thing, and it would drive Steph up a wall. I also don’t like the notion that they would be friends after they break up. 3/10 bc they had that piano scene

DamiRae: 2/10. Garchel is a better ship, and I feel like their personalities are too similar.

Flatline/Damian: I love them. I think they’re cute, but I don’t see it lasting long. 4/10

StephCass: 9/10. No more needs to be said. But I won’t ever officially write them as being together within a fic bc Steph’s character deserves to be her own, rather than a lover of a Batfam member, and Cass has her own things to deal with

[twosoulss77]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favourite ship, canon or not, out of a particular show.

Shipping is just a way for artist and what not to explore different dynamics, or even their own. That’s why I believe we should let people enjoy what they like, without forcing our own image of a certain spectrum into them. Especially cause shaming those people, for trying to explore their identity through art, might cause actual harm to them or cause them to not enjoy doing what they like anymore, bc of hateful comments from someone who hides behind a fake identity to hate on a fictional ship, which in itself it’s a very sad and pathetic way to live, but just cause your life is miserable doesn’t mean you need to make others people’s life miserable you know. Go touch Grass when you feel like being a dick!!!

As an AroAce fellow with no desire for a sexual relationship, I applaud and adore all those people making content of my fav husbands, let it be a fics smut or just normal fluff, I love it all SO MUCH Hazbin Hotel ep 5 changed my whole chemistry, and Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it's what ‘Charlie would want’, and Alastor being a stupid ‘Bambi’ and try to wiggle himself out of it at the beginning, but then realise that he actually doesn’t mind the king of hell company at all. Both slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way, playing music together, telling dad jokes, hating on the same delusions glorified iPad …like there is so much potential there that it’s crazy how much it pisses people off. It might be cause I am a sucker for Enemies to Friends to Lovers, but by God if that isn’t the best trope.

I know there will be some smart people out there, that are gonna be like “Alastor is ace”, but so are half the people who ship him!!! I hate when people make assumption on us, on who and how we want to love. I might not be interested in participating in sexual stuff myself, but that doesn’t stop me to explore my own ace-spectrum with these two characters, who if they wanted to could and would kiss each other, Cause for one I says so, I have the power to make that happen *insert hysterical laugh* And second It was confirmed that Alastor is a repulsed Ace, but would also be down to date someone if they were strong asf, (Confirmed in a stream, take that with a grain of salt) still makes this ship more possible than others.

Al being Aroace, doesn't mean he can't date or have sex, he's just not all that interested in it, but that could also derive from the fact that he hasn’t found the right person yet, so it doesn’t feel important to him yet. (fun fact aromantic wasn't the part of my struggle accepting that I was aroace it was actually accepting I was ace bc of my hyper sexual tendencies)

Also Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me, or any relationship with him for that matter. He is just this 7 feet tall demon with zero interest in romance, but always managing to find himself having beef with someone, possibly a guy, and act like he is either about to kiss or kill him XD

I really needed to get this off my chest and I absolutely mean every thing I said in here. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but you'll be surprised to see how much happier you will be when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

Thanks for listening 😊💜

[nickkcha]

ITS ME AGAIN SORRY BUT I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO KF YOUR LEOSAGI FOR LIKE 10TH TIME AND LITTLE USAGI IS SO CUTE BUT TBH I JUST SEE IN HIS IRRITATED FACE THAT HE WAS THE KID WHO WAS LIKE "EW LOVE BOO WHO NEEDS THIS SHIT" AND THOUGHT HE IS ARO/ACE FOR SURE BUT THEN BOOM

LEO HAPPENED

AND HE IS LIKE

"wait a damn minute-"

Pretty sure he has emotional constipation with showing his love to Leo just because he doesn't want to be wrong since love is just for goobers as he thought his whole life and ew...and stuff..and ...this guy is so fruity I just can't

Bro he DEFINITELY thought love was overated BAHHAHAA HE DID NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT BEEN IN LOVE IS, LEAVE HIM ALONE🫵

I don't know if he thought he was on the ace spectrum before, I like to think that some girls or people liked him bc he's a cool samurai ronin and stuff, and he was like "yeah this must be love" HELP HIM

And when he gets to meet Leo he was TOTALLY CONFUSED

"WHAT ARE WE DOING?" "WHY DID I SAID THAT" "WHAT AM I FEELING?" "IS THIS A FIGHT?" "WHY HE STARE AT ME LIKE THAT?" "WHAT SHOULD I DO?"

Bro THE CLOSET IS MADE OF GLASS🫵🏳️‍🌈

UPDATE:

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HIM???, he's so confused and he likes it HELP

[ellilyre]

Reyna is aro/aroace and you shouldn't ship her

(by an aro guy)(please read (especially if you ship her romantically)

(simple lexicon : aromantic = little/no romantic attraction. asexual = little/no sexual attraction. alloromantic = average romantic attraction.)

Here I mostly talk about aromantism bc 1)as its children books there are not mentions of sexual attractions 2)I am aro but not ace, and I do not want to talk for a community I am not part of.

I can't find the screenshot but Rick said she's ace. Ace ≠ aro, but I wouldn't be surprised if Rick (a white cishet man (love him tho)) doesn't know the difference between the 2 (just like many queer ppl active within the community). So I assume he means she's aroace.

The discourse she has in ToA where she explains she doesn't need a romo partner is the most aro-coded thing I've ever seen a character said. I teared up because it's the first time I see a character actually vocalizing what I feel.

Shipping Reyna romantically is just like shipping Nico with a woman.

"But aro ppl can still date !"

Yes they can (i have dated romantically both before and after figuring out my aromantism). The questions "can we ship aro characters" is often talked about in the aro community, and one answer often comes up :

Most aro ppl are not comfortable with allo ppl shipping aro characters.

To me, this sentence feels like an excuse to ship her and ignore what aromantic is (in most cases) about. You want to give her the label so you're inclusive and an ally, but you don't want to commit to it and actually address her identity bc it would change from your habits (shipping).

You have every character. You can take any characters and ship them. There are less a-spect characters than homo/bi/trans characters. Often, if we call a character aro-coded we get called homophobic for "ignoring" the bond they have with a same-sex character (that could very well be platonic). In 19 years, Reyna is the first character that I actually can relate to.

Why can't Reyna's identity be as important and respected as Nico's ? Do you only care about queer representation when it work for your ships ? Do your support stops when the identities are not longer "fun" ? I am genuinely asking these questions.

Do not erase her identity and what she represents for many people. Shipping is less important than queer representation.

[inactivemikulover]

as someone who's aroace myself, I...really do not like all the sexualized content of Alastor. or the romantic content tbth. it is deeply off-putting to me. like idk, yeah I get that ace people can still have sex, that aro people can still be in romantic relationships--but as someone who's sex-repulsed AND romance-repulsed, it's. uh. idk, it made me happy to think of Alastor as the same. (my favorite joke reason I've seen for why Alastor vanished for seven years is "Vox confessed to him and Alastor is so romance-repulsed that he had to leave for seven years to get over it." bc SAME. I know it's not canon but I like pretending it is.)

I do kinda ship him in a QPR way with some characters (after he finally figures out that he is aroace), bc I was in a QPR for a long time (with someone who wasn't even aroace himself) and people so often just...didn't get it, didn't get that it was platonic but also different than "just a friendship", and so I am projecting my experiences on Alastor a bit lmao. putting my favorite aroace character into my own lived experiences. Alastor can experience the same frustration I did as everyone around him is like "wdym you're not dating, you hold hands and cuddle, there's no other interpretation of that!"

but like...most of the shippy content I see written or drawn with Alastor is romantic and/or sexual. at best, if it even acknowledges that he's aroace, it's just to justify the shipping with "well SOME aroace people are romance-positive/sex-positive!" people could, at the very least, take this opportunity to explore and try to understand QPRs, relationships that don't have sex or romance and are platonic but are also not "just friendship", but I see like. almost none of that

I'm.. completely tired of the aroace people can still date stuff. Hey, if you're gonna ship him and erase representation, at least admit that you're taking away a canon part of him, and don't act like it's canon he'd date or have sex, he is most likely sex repulsed and romance indifferent or repulsed. The fact that I see people debating this is absolutely crazy to me, do people need everything spelled out for them? Did they need to write Alastor looking disgusted by some sexual remark someone makes and then looking into the camera and saying how he feels repulsed by sex, and how he doesn't care for romance or doesn't like it either?

I'm not too familiar with QPRs since I only found out about them some time ago, but I've seen people say that he's in a QPR with this character or that character and then just, write sexual stuff? I don't know too much about QPRs like I said, but I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to be? I mean, there's a reason it's platonic, and it seems that a lot of the time people are just using QPRs to not get attacked when they ship Alastor with someone.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Sorry if this has been asked before but thoughts on ace and/or aro spec Eddie? Because it is near and dear to my heart. Especially with everything we’ve gotten both on screen and in interviews from Ryan.

I have not gotten this question before!

I would like to preface this by saying that I am not aro/ace so I am speaking in what my understanding of the asexuality spectrum is from my ace friends, so i apologize if I misspeak or say something that is not entirely accurate to the experience of ace/aro people.

Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own interpretations of fictional characters, and I am never going to tell someone they are right or wrong for their interpretation of a character’s actions. However, I personally don’t view Eddie as aromantic, and if I were to place him on the asexuality scale, I would place him more towards demi-sexual than completely asexual. We know Eddie enjoys sex, but he still has a very complicated relationship with it when it comes to the women he has been with, and that could be for a myriad of reasons.

Of course one of these reasons could be that Eddie simply thinks he enjoys sex bc he grew up in a repressive religious environment where he was probably to scared to feel any other way, meaning he could very well be asexual and his seeming enjoyment of sex could be an act he puts on to ignore the part of him that he is repressing.

As a gay eddie truther, I believe this idea partly bc I believe he is trying to convince himself he is into women because that’s what he grew up to be taught that men should be attracted to women. However, I could see this being a pathway for Eddie to be introduced as somewhere on the asexuality spectrum, my personal belief being that he would lie more towards the demi end.

As far as him being aromantic, i personally don’t see this. I think we have seen plenty of times from Eddie that he craves that connection with someone but he actively sacrifices his own desires because he thinks he has some obligation to finding a mother for chris. I feel like what Kim said to Eddie in 7x9 about Eddie having too much love to give is true because he so badly wants to be in love with someone for himself, but he has convinced himself he can’t gave that because he views Christopher needing a mother figure as the more important quality in his romantic partners.

All of this to say, these are just my own thoughts and observations. I am obviously biased as a gay person who relates deeply to eddie for many reasons, and so my interpretation of his actions/words are through that lense. It’s hard for me to really see him as anything else, but just because that is my interpretation does not mean it is the only interpretation or even the right or wrong one. Until we get some form of confirmation from canon that Eddie is queer (which i think is very very very likely to happen this season) all we can do is speculate and theorize based on our own personal interpretations of him as a character— and i think that goes along with Ryan’s quote about how much he loves that such a wide range of people can see themselves in Eddie; and i think that no matter what, he is such a powerful and complex character that no matter what sexuality he ends up being confirmed as in canon so many fans of different sexualities and gender identities will still be able to find that deep connection with him and that is so beautiful to me.

I hope this answered your question! I love getting to have these kind of deep talks that dive into the complexities of human sexuality and all the nuances that come along with it (which is why i almost love the idea of them making Eddie unlabeled even though I personally perceive him as gay!)

I hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are! and thank you again for the ask 💕💕

(again, apologies if anything i said misrepresents/misunderstands the aro/ace spectrum, it is not my intention to say anything that is incorrect, but I am not well-versed in the aro/ace spectrum aside from my ace friends)

[babblable]

For the record, just in case some people don't look at my tags.

If you think the below are NOT part of the LGBTQ+ community- Unfollow and block me. Get the fuck off my blog. This blog is Safe for:

-Trans/GNC folk who do not "pass" or choose not to "pass", transition, etc.(Pass is in quotation marks bc quite frankly the concept of passing is ridiculous when used against us and should not be a factor in us using someone's fucking preferred pronouns)

-Trans/GNC folk who DEtransition

-Lgbtq+ poc and native americans

-My fellow aros and aces ALL ACROSS the aro/ace spectrum

-Pan and Bi folks in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex

-He/him lesbians, She/her gays, etc etc

-GNC folks in ANY WAY, be it in expression or bc you're Agender, Nonbinary, Genderqueer, Demi etc etc

-Questioning

-Prefer to use the term Queer

Hi, hello! I am holding my hand out to you. You are safe here! I would fight God for you! I love you!

And if ANYONE thinks you don't belong? Motherfuckers better unfollow and block me then.

Ideally my blog is assumed to be safe for everyone, with my only exception being if you're a fucking dick. But apparently the above needs to be said! So I'm saying it. at 5am. TERFs and Aphobic assholes can fucking Die Mad About It.

Pls lemme know if I forgot anyone. It is currently 5am and I am cranky over my insurance calling me.

[koi-pond-tears]

Headcanons I love even tho they go against my main beliefs for these characters

Ace/Aro bakugou. Idk why but I just. Love it. So much. Like yes lil dude be free!!! Fuck nobody!!! You never needed bitches!!!

And especially the headcanons where he's like. Absolutely clueless about love. Like Mina will ask "so bakugou what's your type?" And he just looks confused n goes "?? You mean my blood type???"

Izuku and Katsuki being brothers. Like not literal brothers by blood but they have that brotherly bond. I actually do ship dekubaku but this headcanon is still very dear to me and I think in another universe it could work.

Like it's so funny imagining them fighting the way brothers do or being mean to each other but also having each other's backs and protecting/defending the other. I love that for them

Idk why but asexual todoroki just. Wow. I love him

I feel like he would still want a romantic relationship just without the sex part. Like he's totally cool with kissing or cuddling bc cmon there is no way in HELL this boy is not absolutely touch starved.

I feel like while Ace bakugou thinks sex is gross and is repulsed by it, ace todoroki is just indifferent to it. He doesn't rlly care or have any feelings towards it. Like ok bestie go smush your peepees together while I watch the entire Beverly Hills Chihuahua franchise

As much as I love my blorbos bakudeku together I have to admit the idea of izuku being the token straight friend in a class full of the ell gee bee tees is so fucking funny to me. Like he doesn't understand the lingo and is absolutely sweating his balls off trying not to say something offensive and it's just hilarious. He accidentally uses she/her instead of they/them once and almost commits seppuku ( a japanese style of suicide which includes disembowelment)

I'm sure he includes everyone's pronouns in their description in his notebook to make sure he remembers what to use

Nonbinary jirou just. Fits. Like idk what anyone has to say about that but look me in the eye and tell me that bitch doesn't put on a binder

They're an enby and also bisexual bc I am correct about everything.

Trans kiri just works.

If deku doesn't grow up to be tall as fuck then I will literally have a meltdown

does he not look like the tall lanky nice friend that can't even say fuck??? Look me in the eye and tell me that. Do it.

Eri grows up to be really tall

Like idk where this comes from but to me she's just. Tall. Girly doesn't get you things from the top shelf she IS the top shelf

Also I personally don't like the eri x kota ship, I think it's kinda weird to be wanting these whole ass 6 year Olds to date, idk but it makes me uncomfortable

I saw a post once that said that Ochaco would be an active memelord (back when that term wasn't cringe) and oh my god. No. This bitch wouldn't know anything.

She has a fucking flip phone I doubt she has access to motherfucking twitter

I think she'd be like Izuku where she's just absolutely clueless on the lingo and slang and feels left out when her friends reference memes she's never seen before

And even if they do take the time to send her one or two she wouldn't understand it

I also saw this in a different post but tsuyu listens to asmr

Tokoyami too

I love the black Mina headcanons but I'm filipino and so starved of representation so I'll just pretend she's half pinoy but grew up in japan so she doesn't really know much of the language (you'd be surprised how many of us don't speak our native language despite living here all our lives)

Himikos eyebags come from the many long nights she spent as a villain doing literally anything else but getting a good night's sleep. Like I know in the backstory episodes we see her with the eyebags as a child, but when I first watched the show I just assumed that that was the reason she had them, and I'll stick to that till I die

Mirio is autistic. Do not argue with me I am right.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my best friend I basically want to spend the rest of my life with her?

(This is long, I'm sorry, I'm incapable of shortly summarizing things)

Ok. So. I (26NB/FTM) am not in love with my best friend (25F), I'm ace and either aro or demiromantic (honestly not sure anymore). But I do love her as much as I can love anyone, probably. To the extent that I would want to be in a committed relationship (qpr I guess) with her and genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with her.

The thing is, she's neither aro nor ace and has only recently (last year) started overcoming fears and anxiety enough that she's gone on dates and wants to try having a relationship. It wasn't easy for her to get to this point and her anxiety is still a major thing she deals with, especially now trying to have a relationship. I know she doesn't love me romantically (not that I would particularly want her to) bc I'm firmly in the friend category and she's said that she can't fall in love with friends (though, again, I don't… want her to be in love me? Since I'm not in love with her either).

I want her to have these experiences. We're both still young and while I just don't need or want anything in that regard, I know it's different for her and in a way it's her finally being able to be herself, live for herself and do what she wants (she had a rough childhood and was basically the one raising her little brother). So, I really do want her to have these experiences and I'm not really jealous either bc I know I'm still more important to her ("bros before hoes" and all that, even if the hoes are guys lol). Though I have to admit it's recently been getting harder being genuinely happy for her when things go well with dates and I suppose I'm a little worried how things will be a few years down the line.

But we're very close. We've been friends for 8 years and best friends for almost as long. We tell each other everything. She's the most important person in my life and I'm the most important person in hers. We get mistaken for a couple constantly, at this point I'm pretty sure everyone in our families has at some point thought we're together. My mum basically treats her like a daughter; she's spent the last 3 Christmases with my family. Besides her brother, I'm the only person she truly cares about who she doesn't get anxious about. The reason I'm going to be moving back home after uni is because she still lives in the area; if she lived somewhere else I'd move there (that's not me being one-sidedly codependent btw, she would absolutely do the same). The jokes about how we need to die at the same time bc neither of us would want to live on alone are really only partly jokes.

Now, here's (finally) where I might be an asshole: When we were in school our friend group consisted of four guys, me and her. All the guys had a crush on her, though some she only found out about later. My best friend, at the time, identified as a lesbian (it's bi probably now). The guys knew that. Now this one guy she only found out about last year at a class reunion (I wasn't there) and he was being all weird about how he'd seen all the times they went to the movies together as dates etc. She thought they were jokingly calling those 'dates', we all did. Again, he knew she identified as gay and never actually said anything about being in love with her. He was also giving off incel-y vibes when she talked with him at the class reunion, so there's that.

We talked about that and well, I kinda admitted that there'd been a moment yeaaaaars ago (like 5?6?) where I felt myself fall in love with her and mentally went 'nope, nope, nope, not doing that (falling in love my best friend) again' and then… it didn't happen. Don't know how that worked. Either way, she made me promise if I ever did actually fall in love with her, that I would tell her. We were laughing about it but I know she was serious about that.

I don't plan on telling her though. I meaaaan I'm not in love with her, technically, which yes, I know, she would probably mean this too. But I know that, at least at this point in time, she doesn't want the same things I want and I want her to have these experiences of dating guys and being in a (allo) relationship etc. I don't want our relationship right now to change either and I know she would try to be considerate and I don't need or want that. I don't want her to overthink what she can or can't tell me, I don't mind hearing her talk about the guys she's dating and I want her to still come to me with everything. I know how she works, I've been basically managing her anxiety for years (genuinely do not mind that before anyone comes talking to me about boundaries) and I know I'm one of the few people in her life who try to let her come to her own conclusions/decisions instead of telling her what they think is right and/or what she should do (she's very easily influenced unfortunately and while I do tell her my opinions if she asks for them, I always try to let her come to her own conclusions first). I don't want her to lose all that. I don't want her to suddenly be anxious about me either, that is genuinely the last thing I would ever want.

TLDR: My best friend made me promise her that I would tell her if I fell in love with her, which I'm technically not, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with her & would want to be in a (queerplatonic) committed relationship with her. I don't want to tell her bc I know it's not what she wants, at least right now, and I want her to make her own experiences and I don't want our relationship to change with this.

AITA for not telling her I would want to be in a (queerplatonic) relationship with her?

What are these acronyms?

[our-aroace-experience]

I cannot figure out if I'm bi, greyaromantic or demiromantic. its like am I confusing platonic feelings for something else? or is this what its supposed to feel like? and I got embarrassed in a conversation because I sarcastically said "well I don't know who I'll like so I'll just go with both" and the person who has no concept ofaromatic stuff took that comment to literally about "romance being something you have to try" and im cringing so hard right now its bothering me because it makes it sound like I need to go through extra emotional distress of forcing myself into things that make me uncomfortable just to know "wow I feel worse but now I know the hard way!" all I know is that I'm a genderfluid boy and that I'm ace. also sorry for vent but gender dysphoria really hard bc I wear all mens clothes and still get called a "girl" makes me so angry I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL

it’s possible you can be bi and demi/greyromantic, but you could also be aro! i’m sorry you feel pressure to find a label, you don’t need to if you don’t want!

as for the dysphoria, you might want to check out @our-genderfluid-experience for that!

[knifearo]

hello bracken 🫡 I've always wanted to get a second aro's opinion on this and also just to Laugh At The Absurdity. And I hope u do not mind the wall of text unprompted

I cut this person out of my life even tho they were my best friend, but when we were close I would tell them about how my roommate (diff room tho) would always bring her boyfriend over and do. well. the devil's tango! frequently! or just generally hang out together and be really loud (ie laughter) at night. I would tell them to be quiet but it never really got better. at this point, I was 1) coming to terms w the fact that I was aro and was beginning to get more comfortable w it and 2) also realizing how kind of insane it was how someone (my roommate) could basically drop most of her other relationships (me included) for a guy she is romantically involved with. we used to get lunch a lot together as roommates but then He came along and that just went away because now He was there and it made me feel pretty sad that I was neglected as a friend. so I would complain to this to my best friend and ofc she agreed it was crazy. but then, one time, after being particularly annoyed by their noise, I said to her something akin to "are allo(romantic) people ok?" And she took that personally! She asked if she would be treated differently by me if she had a bf/gf. and it made me feel so..... ???? bc what??? like no ofc not, but why would u think that? u literally benefit from amatonormativity as someone that experiences romantic attraction, I think an aro person making one (1) joke about allo people is ok 💀🫶 turned out later that they were low-key an arophobe as well as a panphobe despite being queer themselves so rest in piss lmfao but that interaction still rotates in my mind. the allos are so oppressed 🥺🥺🥺🥺

MAN. so much to unpack there. first of all i wish alloromantics Would be oppressed and i hope jakey dies. second of all alloromantics will hear an aro person say literally anything and act like we just kicked their dog and then quit our jobs to take up a full-time career as a cartoon supervillain that's planning to take over the city and. idk. kill batman or something while we're doing it. an aro person opens their mouth and suddenly everyone in the world forgets that jokes exist... ppl literally don't let us say fuck all without being upset about it. anyway! i am of the same opinion that i am when it comes to trans people making jokes about cis people and gay people making jokes about straight people and ace people making jokes about allosexuals. punching up is distinctly different from punching down and if you don't understand what that means then you lack a fundamental understanding of how privilege works and you need to seek out education rather than acting all elon musk "cis is a slur". everyone in the world acts like we are personally throwing rocks at them by making jokes that are inversions of the vitriol that is directed at us and you know what! as i have said before! idgaf and i will be the mean problematic aro forever and ever cause bitches wouldn't like me if i was all niceys about it either. literally god forbid we be sarcastic. anyway i think alloromanticism should be outlawed

"i hate how people who are in relationships treat me differently just because they're in a relationship." "so you would treat me differently just because i was in a relationship??" what are you fucking talking abouuuttttttttttttt

[holdoncallfailed]

hey, ace person here! I've messaged you before about feeling similarly "left out" of a lot of cultural milestones including dating+sex and I totally sympathize with there not being more discussion about how to live your life as a young adult in the absence of those things. and I agree that sometimes the identity labels definitely get in the way of that discussion.

the asexuality label has felt less and less helpful as I've gotten older, and lately it just makes more sense to say that I'm straight or straight ace, because there is a very small demographic of the opposite gender who I am interested in, and when I do pursue a partner that's the kind of person I want to be with, so it seems like a helpful shorthand. however it still feels useful for me to say that I'm on the asexuality spectrum, because it's very clear to me that my experience of the cultural norms of sexual attraction/dating just do not conform to the ways that other people experience them.

as someone who is also decidedly not aro I also tend to stay out of ace spaces because it annoys me how the two get conflated and how everyone has the idea that asexuality = not having sex/not wanting to have sex/not dating. the sex negativity in those spaces can be super annoying and immature. like for me at least my asexuality is literally just an absence of sexual attraction which is all that asexuality is supposed to mean but it gets wrapped up in all these other cultural meanings about partners and romance and whether or not you want to have sex which is really not what it's about and not the point at all.

also personally the "queerplatonic" label has always bothered me because it seems to be implying that relationships without sex/romance are so wildly different that we need to invent a different term for them. like, you can just have a relationship without those things or a friendship that includes them, the terminology doesn't really matter, all that a relationship is is an agreement between two people.

I think identity in most cases is going to have more nuance and complexity than any single identity label will convey, and I also get exhausted of the microidentities bc like, at the end of the day, my relationship with sexuality (or lack thereof) will not be easy to explain no matter the shorthand. and maybe your lack of dating/sex experience has something to do with being on the asexuality spectrum, and maybe it doesn't, and there still needs to be room for those people in discussions, too. because it's totally normal for sex not to be a part of your life, whether you want it to be or not.

and like yeah, my biggest problems that arise from ny asexuality are not whether or not I'm included in the LBGT+ club, they're more about how the perception of being outside of cultural norms affects me and how people treat me because of it.

idk exactly what my point is but these are complicated ideas and it's hard to talk about. also I get the sense, though I may be wrong, that you personally do actually want to be someone who dates but doesn't know how to go about it, and I greatly empathize with the bitterness that comes with feeling left out from something you desperately want. it might not be something that I ever understand in the way that other people do, but there is still room in the world for people like me and you to have relationships. and I hope that if that is something you want that you find it someday; and if it isn't, I hope you can find the acceptance in yourself that this doesn't mean you're broken or wrong and that there is just as much value in being a single person in the world.

I hope that none of this comes across as rude or snarky, I'm just interested in the discussion and it really is a complicated topic. enjoy the rest of your day~

not rude or snarky at all, thank you for such a thoughtful message especially the last bit, i appreciate it a lot. 🥲

i agree with a lot of what you said and i think you've phrased it all much more reasonably than i would (could?) have lol so i also appreciate that.

i guess my leeriness of the term 'asexual'/its definition as a 'lack of sexual attraction' is that for me PERSONALLY it's not so much a lack of attraction as it is an attraction + lack of follow through. like, i feel attraction toward women and i have a libido but neither have intersected to the extent that i felt compelled to act on it. like why would i try to get another person involved when i could just not go through the trouble of all that. but also i'm aware that that has to do with the deplorably low image i have of myself which i'm allegedly working on with my therapist lmfao...

so in that vein i think i would actually say i would prefer 'asexual' to be understood as a lack of sex because in my mind my issue with having a relationship is that i'm there too, rather than the other person. and it disturbs me to consider that as an immutable identity as opposed to an objective state of being because i know how much it's intertwined FOR ME with my own self-esteem issues but i realize that doesn't apply to everyone. but all of that is very difficult to convey succinctly in a way that doesn't seem pathological. but i guess it is kind of pathological for me personally so.

and anyway there ARE people like yourself who genuinely just don't experience sexual attraction and that's it! so it isn't your or anyone else's fault that that language does fit your experiences (or theoretically could/should). i guess i am resentful of not having the language in the first place and then having the conversation obscured even further by all this gooooooofy microidentity discourse.

i would like to be able to just live as a solitary woman and have that be a neutral 'lifestyle choice' like idk having a pet or not having one. but that is not possible. and i would argue that the 'ace pride' stuff contributes to its impossibility just from the other direction. idk lol

it's just frustrating that evidently there was some move toward trying to address this stuff on a wider level but it doesn't appear that it was a particularly productive dialogue except on a very granular personal level. but tbh maybe that's OK and also just the nature of these sort of conversations about the human experience...regardless of what Society says people can understand each other one-on-one if they both want to understand each other.

it's very clear to me that my experience of the cultural norms of sexual attraction/dating just do not conform to the ways that other people experience them.

i think even just describing it very simply like that without any labels or identities attached is much more meaningful and easy to understand. and i guess it doesn't have to be so hard to just say it. even if it's just to myself

[showsandstuff]

Anon, aro people can be in relationships 😭 I understand your intentions are good, but you’re not helping aro people by insisting that they can only be single. Aros can be in a romantic relationship. Aros can be in a relationship that looks romantic but isn’t (bc a person’s orientation depends on their feelings of attraction, not what it looks like to other people). Aros can be romance-repulsed. Aros can hate shipping. Aro can love shipping, even with aro characters. Attraction, feelings of romantic love, and/or platonic love can be a complicated thing. It’s not always a black and white “either you do or you don’t.” I know Aro erasure is a frustratingly real thing and I’m not gonna pretend some Hazbin fans aren’t doing that, but if we’re gonna fight erasure, we gotta uplift the aro art we like and ignore the fanworks we don’t vibe with instead of arguing that that it isn’t good rep. Because I promise you there are real life aromantic people who do all the kissy sappy stuff with partners they are happily married to but are still aro.

Signed, a romance-repulsed Aro who doesn’t ship Chalastor. Or doesn’t really ship Alastor romantically at all, really 😅

I Know this was intended for the other Anon, but I wanna give my own to cents to this as well!

I agree with the anon here + I also am a romance repulsed aromantic, but there’s one thing that I believe is important to mention, just to be fair to all sides of the argument.

“AroAce people can still date” is a true statement but often feels like an excuse to ship whatever you want to ship regardless, because many times, thats all that it is to the people using that. An excuse. They don’t really care about Aro Ace rep, they just wanna ship something without being deemed problematic.

Now, my argument regarding this matter is: You don’t actually need an excuse.

I already said this on another post but I will say it here again, you don’t have the ability to take away any representation. Ofc its always good to still be respectful about it, but if you ship him you absolutely do not need to feel bad about it! Have fun, enjoy the fandom, literally!

The creators themselves are very clearly in support of shipping, the only people who seem to have a problem are those that don’t understand that it really doesn’t matter for canon if Alastor is shipped in the fandom. Canon Alastor stays aroace, no matter what people do with fanon.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Visiting Family For Christmas [queer mystery :p] Saiouma

Been thinking about my evil agendas (it will only slightly have to do with nsfw implications so don't get your hopes up)

Roommates saiou And visiting family for christmas

I just thought to myself. I want a scenario where saiou are roommates like in Litsu's, but they have to deal with christmas and Shuichi having to visit family, for the needs of this au I mean whole family, not just uncle

And he takes Kokichi with him, because 1) they planned to spend it together before his parents decided they want to host a big christmas party 2) Kokichi would end up alone on christmas otherwise 3)it bothers Shuichi's parents but they have to agree since they want Shuichi to come So it's a small win for Shuichi

Anyway, just like in the au I referenced at the start Shuichi only dated Kaede before and his parents know they broke up but not why or what saiou's relationship is

So they're like "You're gay!"

And here's the fun part The evil of my plans They're not Love loses

But Shuichi's parents do not believe them, in fact, nobody believes them Tsumugi is the first to get nosy and try to spy on them [yes, another sibling AU]

(Did I mention they're staying at the mansion until new year's? They're staying at the mansion like in a murder mystery, nobody leaves until the truth is out) So yeah, multiple people are trying to catch saiou being intimate to prove a point

And there are instances when they think they have definitive evidence, "aha! You're sharing a bed" or "See how they're leaning on each other and whispering? It's obvious.." And "Wait! Where are they? They must have snucked off! And you know what that means…"

There's a betting pool on who'll get them to admit that But guess what It's new year's eve and no answers Despite Uncle trying to stop her, Saihara's mom confronts them upright in front of everyone

Ves: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOVE LOSES CRYING Me: LOVE LOSES [3 fire emojis] Romance is dead No gay ppl Ves: NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY Me: Only aro gang

They have to enter the new year explaining what qpr is so everyone understands that no, they're not fwb, or boyfriends, or "just" friends, Uncle takes all the money from the bet bc he said they'd all be wrong & should mind their business But it takes a LONg argument to get everyone to agree to this interpretation, the just friends people and fwb people had both made claims that it counts as their answer and then once saiou answered those, the bf ones also tried to raise some

Ves: this being in nsfw makes it funnier Me: It has to be in nsfw, they had multiple instances of someone bursting in on them with "You're having sex!" like in that one meme And also because it delves into my deepest desires and the most twisted aspects of my mind

Ves: the "why didn't you tell me, i would've put my book down" one?? i think that could skate by in gen Me: I am not filthy enough for you?! Ves: emotional commitment IS pretty filthy… Me: If I was realistic, the family wouldn't get it, not all of them, but it's filthy wish fulfillment so saiou gets through to them

Me: I would like to add to that AU, a very important detail: I've only said they're aro, nothing about being ace. They ARE fucking. No one managed to catch them red-handed, despite all the efforts to, there's been only a few close calls, like when they snuck off alone, nobody found where they went and it wasn't the bedroom they were staying at, so there was no way to prove it, or when they got busted for cuddling in bed they literally only had clothes on because it was too cold not to put them back on, it being December & especially in a big ass house with a bunch of fireplaces for aesthetic instead of central heating