#bruce on a stick

[violent138]

During Tim's early days, the principal called Bruce once to report that Tim had a lot of bruises.

Bruce, pretty sure he knows where this is going: "Well there's a reasonable explanation for this--"

Tim, kind of sheepish: "It's from the Bo staff."

Bruce, turning fully on the chair to look at him.

Tim, fidgeting a little: "I've been practicing kind of a lot with it recently."

Bruce, suddenly incredibly proud: "Yes," turns back to the suspicious principal. "He insists on getting into these really niche extra curriculars. For college."

Principal, looking between them: "Bo staff? What is that, exactly?"

Tim: "I can show you if you like? Do you mind?"

The principal shrugs and Tim steps out, returning with a broom.

He does a one handed figure eight spin and wipes the Principal's mug right off the desk, causing it to shatter on the floor.

Tim: "Oh shit."

Bruce, speaking over the principal, standing up: "Excellent, just loosen your grip a little more."

Tim, rolling his eyes: "It's a pretty basic move B, and you know it--"

Bruce, excited that Tim's taken an interest: "Just the beginning, tonight we'll practice some real moves, build your repertoire in defense and offense--"

Tim, grinning: "I'd like that, I've also been working on--"

Principal, clearing her throat: "I think I've seen all I need to see."

[frownyalfred]

guy texting me: so what are you thinking about rn

me: I feel like, after so many years of using black paint on his waterline and in his eyelashes, Bruce Wayne has actually been giving himself an accidental lash lift and tint, and his eyelids and lashes are ever so subtly permanently darkened. everyone assumes it's either very well done permanent makeup or sleep deprivation, but it's actually just the remnants of greasepaint embedded in his skin because he's so pale and it's impossible to fully remove without using a solvent directly on bare skin, which is a terrible idea.

him:

me: actually not much, wbu?

[rin-may-1103]

The Wrong Robin Au (part three)

Previous | Master Post | Next

Danny never said he knew what he was doing, but he thinks he's doing something right if the kid hasn't started crying yet. so you know, that's great. now, he just needed to get the kid out of here, so Danny could have a moment to mourn his retirement plans.

He wasn't going to blame the kid, ancients know Danny would have gone back to hero work eventually. He just couldn't let things go if he could help it, and he could in this situation.

"Alright, here's the plan." Danny announced, slapping his legs as he stood up. "it's late, you're a kid who needs sleep. let's get you home, then we can get a game plan on how to do this."

Tim had been nodding his head, even if it was reluctantly, before freezing in sudden realization. Danny raised his eyebrow in question, wondering what was wrong now.

"you want my help?" Tim asked, absolutely gobsmacked.

Oh, the kid thought Danny was just going to send him away like any reasonable adult would. Ha, Danny wished. but no. He had no clue what he was doing and this kid was his only trump card for making any of the half-assed plans still forming in his head work. AND he had a feeling if he didn't keep Tim close by, the kid would run off and do something stupid.

"Yep," Danny snorted, "you were smart enough to figure out who Batman was, and then you decided to take it upon yourself to help him; whether by convincing me to do it or yourself."

"Now then," Danny said as he walked over to the couch and pulled his hoodie from under Sam. Sam, to her credit, told him to fuck off and went back to snoring. Tucker, somehow having heard her, responded with a 'Go fuck yourself'.

Shaking his head, Danny turned back to Tim. "Let's get going. It's-" Danny turned to look at the clock, his eyes narrowing when he found it; 4 am. The kid was up and coherent enough to try and blackmail someone into being Robin at four in the morning. "-four. you seriously need to get some sleep kid. It's a school night." actually, what day was it???

Tim rolled his eyes but started to follow Danny out the door. "It's Saturday, and I've stayed up longer," he grumbled.

Danny snorted, "So have I, but we still need to sleep." He should probably try and prevent the kid from staying up longer than he should. Danny knows what years of not sleeping properly does to someone. The kid's obsessed with Batman and Robin, right? He'll just use them then.

"Robin needs all the sleep he can get. Otherwise, Batman will bench him. If Robin is benched, then who is out there helping Batman?" That's convincing, right? Does Batman even have the power to bench Robin? From the sounds of it, Robin is his kid's vigilante name. Which means he totally has the power to ground them.

Wait...

If Danny was going to be Robin, does that mean Batman would think he's his kid?

Oh, hell naw. He was not going to be adopted by another fruitloop! If Bruce Wayne even thinks about it, Danny will be out of there so fast even the Flash couldn't stop him.

Tim stumbled, his eyes wide in surprise. "Really?" he asks, turning to look at Danny in horror. Danny blinked, brain failing to remember why the kid would be surprised.

shit, what were they talking about?? Robin... It's four am... Right!

"Yep," Danny chirped, leading the kid to his car. "Now, I know everyone says not to get into a stranger's car and all that jazz, but it's the only way I'm getting you home. So, hop in."

Tim didn't even hesitate to jump into the passenger seat, pulling the seat belt across his chest. Danny stared at him for a second, before opening the car door and sitting down.

"kid, you do know you're not supposed to get into strangers' cars, right?" Danny asked, closing the door and buckling up. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his keys and started the engine.

"Well, yeah?" Tim replied, turning to face him, "But you're not a stranger. You're Robin. You protect people not hurt them."

and well? Danny can't argue with that, now, can he?

"Right, fine. Just promise not to get into strangers' cars. I don't care how much you think you know about them. It's not safe, and you could get hurt."

Tim hummed, thinking about it for a moment before nodding his head. "Yeah, alright. I promise."

"good." Danny sighed, turning to look at the road to see if it was clear. then he sighed again, "Don't tell strangers where you live, please."

Tim looked at him in amusement, a small smile spreading across his face. "Drake manor. 1015 Mountain Drive. It's in the Crest Hill community."

"You're killing me here, kid." Danny groaned, hitting his head against the steering wheel. Then he slowly lifted his head and turned to stare at Tim, "Kid. How the hell did you get all the way over here? Mountain Drive is all the way over in Bristol??? That's, like, twelve miles outside of city limits?"

"I have my ways."

Danny narrowed his eyes, "You bribed someone, didn't you."

Tim looked away from him, fiddling with his fingers.

sighing, Danny sat up and started driving down the road. They sat in silence for a while, just listening to the chaos that was Gotham City as they drove. Tim eventually slumped over, his head resting against the window.

It took a good thirty minutes before Danny could turn onto the bridge out of town. The traffic wasn't heavy, just the occasional car here and there. It was almost peaceful.

"Turn here," Tim suddenly instructed, startling Danny.

"Tim!" Danny cried, turning to look at the kid, then back at the road. although, he did do as the kid instructed. "don't do that! you'll give me a heart attack or something! Ancients!"

Tim blinked, then shrugged. "ok," he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"my house is the one with really stupid-looking ducks carved into the gates." Tim supplied, waving his hand at the road ahead of them. "Bruce's is the one with bats, but you knew that."

"Right," Danny agreed. What were the chances that Batman happened to live in a place called Gotham and in a house with black iron gates covered in bats? It was almost as coincidental as Danny's last name sounding like Phantom. Fate really had quite the sense of humor, didn't they?

after they passed a few more dirt roads, Tim pointed at a specific one, "Turn here. The gates a little further back than everyone else's."

Danny hummed, turning the car onto the road. What was his life at this point? Driving children to their huge houses at four-thirty in the morning? agreeing to become Robin? coming out of retirement because a kid asked him to?

Bruce Wayne better appreciate all the effort this kid was going through...

A tall gate slowly popped into view, making Danny slow the car down until he could stop right in front of it. "Alright, kid. You're home. get some sleep. Go to school, I don't know, what do you rich kids do on the weekends? actually, you know what? It doesn't matter, do you have a phone?"

Tim blinked as he slowly unbuckled, "yes?"

"One that's not monitored by your parents or anyone else?"

"..."

Danny sighed, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his phone. "Here," Danny unlocked it, went to settings and pressed the factory rest option. Once the phone finished the reset, he quickly scanned through it to make sure it was all gone before adding his second phone number. once done, he tossed it over to the kid. "here, should work for now. Don't let anyone else have it."

If this was any other situation, Danny would have gone straight to the kid's parents; but considering it was past four in the morning and there wasn't a city-wide amber alert? He has a feeling the kid needs a safety net, and well? What better than a direct line to him?

"I can't just take your phone!" Tim cried, catching the phone before it could fall to the ground.

"It's my backup one. I tend to break my phone pretty often, so I always keep an extra one on me. my current number is saved on it, you can reach out and get in contact with me now." Danny waved off the kid's concern, reaching into the back of the car to grab a bag.

with how often his phone had broken during ghost fights and how frequently his parents dissected his phone for parts? It's a habit at this point to have a backup. or Ten. Pulling the bag to the front, Danny showed the kid what was inside.

"..." Tim blinked, then looked up at Danny. "why do you have a bag of broken phones in your car?"

"Because my phones keep breaking and I figured it would be easier to just keep them for extra parts than toss them. Now," Danny tossed the bag into the back, ignoring how it tipped over and spilled the contents all over the seat. He'd clean it up later. Maybe. "It's early. You need sleep, I need sleep. We can pick another day to sit down and build a game plan."

Tim sat in silence for a moment, staring at the phone in his hands, before glancing up at Danny. "You really mean it?" he asked, turning the phone around anxiously, "you really want my help?"

"kid, Tim," Danny started, tilting his head so he could make eye contact. "with how bad you say Batman's gotten? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Who better than the one who went out of his way to try and actually do something about it?"

Tim's eyes watered as he looked back at the phone. "ok," he whispered, nodding his head. Reaching up, he wiped his face clean before taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"ok," he repeated, voice stronger now. "I'll help. I want to."

"Good," Danny nodded in agreement, then smiled. "get some sleep kid, you need it."

"I don't need it," Tim grumbled, turning to open the door and get out. "but if that's what it takes for you to allow me to help, then I guess I can take a nap or something."

Danny snorted, watching as Tim closed the car door and started making his way to the gate.

as soon as the kid was out of view, Danny slammed his head onto the steering wheel and groaned. He had definitely jinxed himself earlier. How hard can being Robin be? Yeah right. He hasn't even gotten to meet Bruce yet and he's already stressed.

...

Glancing up, Danny watched as the clock glitched then turned to five am.

...

Well then, he might as well do something productive since it was unlikely he'd be getting any more sleep if he went back. Sam would be up by the time he got there, which meant he'd have to answer all of her questions... which would wake Tucker up, which would mean Danny'd have to explain all over again.

Glancing around, Danny suddenly realized something.

Batman.

Bruce Wayne was Batman.

Bruce Wayne; as in, Gotham's own himbo billionaire.

Who lives in Bristol.

Which is where he is right now. Logically speaking, he'd be able to find it pretty fast if he just looked at the gates. It's probably just a few houses from Tim's too, now that he thought about it...

Oh, this was a terrible idea, but when had that ever stopped Danny?

Jazz was so going to kill him for this.

Next

[ky-landfill]

Hello!! Do you ever think about Bruce, Dick, and pre-death Jason all sharing an awkward Christmas together, because I do. So much

[hey-hey-j]

okay you can have some happy Bruce art now

I realize I haven't done a lot of Clay and Bruce interactions

(★ my Kofi) | (★ commission info)

[phantoms-world-and-more]

Danny hits batman with the anti-creep stick

So dannys 19 and is taking astro engineering at gothem university

To save money he lives in the cheepest apartment he can find, its not like it going to kill him again

Danny was ok with the attempted break ins, he was ok with the broken AC, he was ok with the spam callers

What he wasent ok with is the fucking parcor wannabes who decided his roof is the best spot to be in

He gave up his sleep during his teen years he was NOT willing to do the same in his twentys

So after a month of the same assholes on his roof he decided to do something

.

.

.

He wasent expecting a man in a purple suit that looks like Ronald McDonalds evil twin

Or a furrie with anger issues to be with him

Danny looked at them for a good minute before deciding he's seen weirder stuff in his fridge

He charged the fenton-anti-creep-stick and smacked the clown on the head

He dropped like a brick, the flowes in his hands dropping and giving a puff of some weird gass

He turned to the furrie and said

You two can flirt somewhere else just not here

He was polite, or tried to be at 2:37 in the morning, but the furrie said that he cant just intervein in a fight "itS DaNGErouS"

Danny looked him in the eyes said too bad furrie and bopped him with the anti-creep-stick

Danny was about to call the cops to come collect these two weirdos when he saw a tracking system on the furries arm, it showed that someone was going to come this way

.

.

.

Jason saw alot of things in his life

He came back from the dead, faught crime in pixie boots,became a crime boss, tried to kill a clown and his brother on multiple occasions

But even he was at a loss

The joker was knocked out and on the ground

But so was batman

Just as he was about to call for backup when adoptee-to-be stepped out of the shadown hilding a stick taller than him and giving him the most dead stare

Collect the furrie and Ronald McDonald and keep them off the roof they can flirt somewhere else, if they ruin my sleep ONE more time they'll have a lot more to worrie about than the anti-creep-stick

[damian-lil-babybat]

"Eventually, I will no longer drown from the overflowing of an empty cup"

Pre-Morrison Talia would be the kind of love poets would write for.

Talia al Ghul, with all her history, faults, and flaws, have no means to have had so much love for the people she cherish. But she does...she does.

"We are immortals, Habibi. When others say they love forever, they lie. But we don't have the same luxury. For people like us, forever means eternity, beyond death and even after. It is a curse, my heart. Our curse. For such promise meant to taint such noble feelings— And yet, I will never apologize for loving you."

"Boy Wonder" (2024) #4 by Juni Ba.

[spookyprime]

Todays warmup: Timkon clone baby

[sreppub]

I love giving robins little knee and elbow pads. safety first ♥️ (lets him get back to chasing serial killers and super villains)

[cat-autism-wizard]

panels like this reminds me of the fentons...

[metalphoenix]

Duke Thomas's bones light up like a glow stick when broken. Bruce nearly has a heart attack when they found this out. Duke and the rest of the Bat Kids think its the greatest thing ever.

[nightmare-foundation]

Tbh I like,, lowkey prefer Jason not being part of the batfamily, while still being affiliated with them

To elaborate, I really prefer Jason as a crime lord. He think he's better as one. But at the same time I also like him occasionally being friendly with the batfamily, yknow?

I like the idea of Jason as like,, a sometimes foe, a sometimes ally. He's the guy you go to if you really need information, and he's happy to help and team up if he feels like it. He's a sort of 'last resort' sometimes ally.

But, obviously, he's still a crime lord who kills people, and he's never going to give up his morals. He does what he thinks is right (whether that's his personal opinion, i.e. killing people, or taking care of the Crime Alley kids), and he's stubborn as shit, so inevitably this causes tension and fights between him and the batfamily. Jason has his own agenda, his own brand of justice, so inevitably he'd occasionally play the villain.

I think this way is just... way more fun. It opens up possible storylines and interesting dynamics, especially when you take into consideration certain aspects like Jason's hero worship when it comes to Dick. Plus it's just more interesting if he's not, like, comically evil (I refuse to believe he wouldn't be good with kids) but also not giving up his personal belief system just to gain the approval of an abusive man.

[secretlythatsme]

i feel like Most dpxdc crossover fics have dp and dc in the same universe which like, is still fun don't get me wrong, but there's so many missed opportunities with them being in fully separate universes!

i'm specifically thinking of an au where the dcu is fictional in danny's universe like in ours. so instead of him being dropped in a random city, he's fully isekaid into the dcu and has to deal with the implications of that. danny not being a dc fan could def be interesting, but i personally really like the idea of him being a fan! i think he'd be really into characters like martian manhunter or the superfam since they're more directly related to space, but i think he'd have appreciation for the common dpxdc characters like the batfam too.

but anyway i'm just thinking of dc fan danny who somehow gets dropped into the dcu and is immediately clocked as Different and Knowing by literally every hero/vigilante there. damian screams bloody murder at him and danny just gives him this look like "i know what you've been through and you're just a kid so i won't hold it against you even though that was pretty mean" and damian is sooo pissed cause what the fuck does this guy know?? danny looks at jason like he's seeing robin and not red hood,,, he sees batman one day and gives him the most begrudging respectful and also highly judgemental glare. danny seeing clark on the street and immediately noping and turning around like no not dealing with superman today no thanks. danny randomly happens to be walking next to wally and tries to get him into a walking race. danny who keeps looking up at the sky whenever the watchtower is above him.

i just love the idea of danny walking around knowing way too much, not even necessarily being Powerful at this point, he just knows! too! much! and every hero who meets him feels completely exposed like how does this random kid give everyone the heebie jeebies.. what does he know.. how much does he know... why does he know... etcetc.

idk i love casually creepy danny

[mater-argento]

The Evil Dead franchise.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

See this post and @lunette3002 ‘s comment on there

[violent138]

Hey what do you think the Batfam’s reaction would be to you asking them to grab you tampons? Caus I imagine Bruce probably sticks up for periods

Ooh fun.

Bruce: *withdraws one from Bat belt, will get very grumbly if the house is seriously out and buy a ridiculous amount to prevent this scenario*

Alfred: Already had the exact brand one uses in the bathroom unasked and on time. This is both alarming and comforting.

Dick: *automatically gives you hair tie* "Oh wait what?" (pats pockets) *goes and gets them with no drama*

Jason: "Oh." *Goes and and buys mildly useless scented ones* *finger guns*

Cass: Somehow absolutely never has one on hand unless she needs them, will break a bathroom dispenser and hand you fistfuls of them.

Tim: *Goes ridiculously above and beyond, even beats Bruce for insanity, grabs heated water bottle*

Steph: *yanks several options and advil out*

Duke: *keeps some in his bathroom for Izzy* "Don't mention it."

Dami: "Why are you telling me? Wait here." (will loudly go ask Alfred for tampons) "Check under the sink."