#but the other person just hears me say “I am a walking red flag”

[justletmereadmycomics]

sometimes I forget not everybody's aro ace or aroace and I say something like "man I love [kinda kinky thing]" or something around someone and instead of being like "yeah they cool :]" the person is either like "....eXcuSE mE" or "hur hur yeah I get so turned on by that" and I just go "ah fuck ive done it again"

[srjlvr]

,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’

JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.

PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader

GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.

WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!

WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+

NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!

you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.

being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.

you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.

girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.

“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”

“this? what do you mean—“

“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”

“oh”

“that’s all you got to say?”

“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”

“what?”

“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”

denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.

you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.

you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“y/n…”

“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”

you’re not glad at all, you do love him.

“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.

this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.

like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.

but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.

“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”

“yeji!”

your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”

you shook your head.

she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.

big player indeed.

you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.

though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.

therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.

the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.

the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.

at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.

that was….well, until he decided to break things off.

“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.

“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.

“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“

“it’s okay sunghoon, really”

before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.

sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.

“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”

“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.

“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.

“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.

you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”

“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”

“don’t push it!”

“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”

“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.

“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.

you both were joking, you knew it very well.

so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?

“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.

complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!

“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.

not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!

“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”

that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!

“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”

when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!

“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”

a walking red flag or what?

after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.

“psst”

“hm?”

“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”

“what?!”

you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.

“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”

“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.

“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.

“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”

“now that’s my girl!”

yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.

ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.

“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.

“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.

“i’ll come with you”

“oh? okay”

he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.

“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.

“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”

“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.

you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.

“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.

you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.

“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”

“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”

“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.

you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.

“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.

“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.

arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.

“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.

“hey, you” you grinned.

“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.

“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.

“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.

“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.

you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?

“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”

“hm”

“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.

“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”

“i think we both know why”

“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.

the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.

“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.

“hm? oh yeah”

“you’re a lost case”

“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.

“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”

“this hate list about who?”

you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.

“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.

“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.

you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”

she returned the fake smile and walked away.

“that was so close!”

“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”

school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.

“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”

“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”

you handed her your bag for her to search it.

“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”

“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.

“let’s burn this bitch!”

looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.

you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.

your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.

you and jake really did love each other.

one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.

“what are you up to?” he asked.

“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.

“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”

“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”

“jake—“

“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.

you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.

it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.

you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.

“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”

you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”

“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.

“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.

“that means…..you too see a future for us?”

“of course”

he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.

that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.

but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,

“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.

“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”

“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”

“why are you so stup—“

“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”

“oh really?—“

“yes! go away!”

thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.

he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.

yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.

“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.

“let’s go home”

the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.

“morning, y/n!”

“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”

“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.

the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.

you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.

usually you would, but not now, or never again.

“what’s your fucking problem?”

while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.

“what do you mean—“

“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“

“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.

“coach said—“

“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”

“y/n—“

“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.

he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.

“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.

“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”

“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”

“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.

you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.

the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.

that was until today’s morning.

as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.

“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.

“huh?”

a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.

“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.

when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.

“what list?”

“don’t play dumb!”

“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”

she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.

“no way!” you gasped.

someone posted your list!

“yes way! are you that stupid?”

“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.

right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?

she sighed and walked back and forth.

“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.

“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.

“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.

you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.

“you’re right” you sighed.

“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”

“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”

there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.

“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”

“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“

you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.

you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.

the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.

“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.

guess it wasn’t so empty after all.

you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.

“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.

“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”

you sighed heavily.

“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.

“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“

“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.

you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.

were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.

“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.

you glared at him and decided not to reply.

“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.

“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.

you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.

“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.

“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.

“delete what?”

“are you that stupid?”

“obviously if i’m still talking to you”

“i’m talking about the post”

“it wasn’t me!” you argued.

“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.

“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”

“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.

“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.

“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.

“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”

he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.

“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.

“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”

sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”

“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”

sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?

“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”

ouch. truth hurts sometimes.

but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.

“yena!”

“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.

“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.

“on who’s side are you?”

“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.

maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.

“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.

“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”

“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.

“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”

“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.

“you’re lying!”

“your boyfriend would say otherwise”

she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.

“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.

“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.

your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.

as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.

before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.

“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.

“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.

“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”

“don’t you dare” you groaned.

“then let’s date again”

“what?”

“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”

“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”

“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”

“i owe you nothing”

“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”

“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“

he caught your wrist before you could leave.

“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”

truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.

“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.

a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.

“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.

“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”

“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”

“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”

when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.

but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?

there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.

“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.

“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.

“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”

sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.

“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.

“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”

“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.

“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.

“i was joking! don’t do that!”

“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.

“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”

“how about you just talk it out with her?”

“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”

“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”

“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”

“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.

“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.

“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.

“have you gone mad? i—“

“promise me!”

“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”

your silence told her everything.

“don’t you dare—“

“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”

“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“

“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”

“continue please”

“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”

“and then what?”

“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”

“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.

later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.

“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”

“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.

“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.

“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“

“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”

your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—

“attention please!” oh no.

“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”

cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.

“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.

you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.

“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.

“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.

“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.

“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”

“you’re the worst!”

“you don’t mean that”

you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.

“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”

“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”

you failed to notice his smile dropping.

“can’t i just be curious about your day?”

“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”

“what do you mean?”

“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”

he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.

the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.

you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.

jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.

the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.

you never laughed at his jokes.

“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.

sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”

“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.

“you were being too close to him”

you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”

“again?”

“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.

jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”

“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.

“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”

“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”

“answer my question” she furiously said.

“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.

“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.

he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.

“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.

“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”

“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.

“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“

“don’t play dumb right now!”

“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.

“what?”

“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”

“again with the sunghoon scandal—“

“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.

“w-what…” you whispered.

“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”

you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.

“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”

his glossy eyes were looking at you.

“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”

he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”

“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.

both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.

“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”

“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.

“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.

his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.

“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.

“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”

“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.

“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.

“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.

“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.

“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“

“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.

“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.

“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.

“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”

“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”

“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”

“what do you mean by ‘this’?”

“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.

“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.

you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”

maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.

“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.

“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?

it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.

“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.

“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“

“what? where!”

“it was right outside of our classroom but—“

before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.

“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”

“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.

“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.

“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.

“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.

jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.

he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.

“you have nothing to say?”

“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.

“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.

“it was worth it” he smirked.

“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.

“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”

“jake…” you whispered.

“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.

you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”

you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.

a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.

he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?

“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.

“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.

“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.

“how do you know that?”

“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”

“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.

“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.

“i….i don’t know what to say”

“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.

it’s time to fix your broken relationship.

you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.

“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.

“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.

“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”

before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.

“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?

“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”

“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.

“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”

“please stop…”

“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”

“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”

was it sunghoon this whole time?

“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.

“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.

“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”

“please just—“

“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.

“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.

after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.

“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.

“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.

“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”

he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.

“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”

he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”

you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”

he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.

“for what?”

“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“

you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.

as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”

“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”

“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.

“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.

“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.

“since when did you become so confident?”

“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”

“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.

“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[incorrectbatfam]

The most beloved english/ lit teacher at Park Row High, Mr Todd who inspires many many student is Red Hood. I just think Jason will make am excellent teacher and will really love the job.

All I hear is "give me teacher Jason headcanons" so here you go

Besides English, he also teaches a weekend driving class where he lets teenagers take turns parallel parking the Batmobile

His teacher voice isn't too different from normal (compared to other teachers) but it's noticeable—and more importantly, effective. He confiscates someone's phone at the movies when they wouldn't quit texting

For Jason, the "other duties as assigned" include refilling the soap in the boys bathroom and hanging a rainbow flag on the conservative history teacher's door

He also subs for that same teacher and says "everything you've been learning is wrong" before speedrunning the entire other half of American history

Most kids know him as the cool younger teacher who they can earnestly talk to, but every year there's one person who will treat him like he has one foot in the grave

He records his classes and his TA captions everything. Key word: everything

He starts the countdown to the last day of school on the first day of school

Red Hood discovers a restaurant acting as a front for money laundering but instead of taking them down, he lets them go on one condition. Cue the week-long pizza party at school

He once had a student walk in late because they went to Wal-Mart for a Mountain Dew

His hall pass is a dull batarang with "mrs tods hal pas" written in nail polish

Grading essays is either "this kid is the next Austen" or "please never touch a keyboard again"

Before the students turn their quizzes in, Jason asks each and every one of them, "Did you do the other side?"

Jason makes a copy of the janitor's keys and disables the security cameras so one of his students can sleep in the classroom after she was evicted. Red Hood also sweeps the halls to make sure there aren't any D-list Rogues squatting

Once a month the lesson is just naptime. He turns off the lights and tells them to go to sleep

If someone can solve Jason's Monday riddle then they don't have to do homework for a week. In unrelated news, the Riddler is apprehended after Red Hood decodes a series of cryptic clues

One kid told him "You're so old you look like you already died"

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hii! Can we get a fic with how would it like to be if the reader was basically douma same personality appearence etc. With Alastor? I REALLY WANT TO SEE HOW IT WOULD GO.

Oh my fucking god. This Duo— it’s this duo and Discord with Alastor, I think would mesh well! Haha! Anyway! I am definitely trying this out, thank you, loves! Hope you enjoy!

Alastor- Rainbow Irises

Ah… a cannibalistic murderous cult has rolled into the Pride Ring. Alastor isn’t surprised when he hears over the new Overlord being the Eternal Paradise Cult leader. He’s heard worse

Though… her eyes are a mesmerising rainbow. A gorgeous, colourful, almost hypnotic swirl of multiple colours and the way she has presented herself to the Pride Ring… menacing yet elegant and cool-headed. Dressed like a fancy old-fashioned Japanese woman and wielding golden sharp fans

You’re an entire walking-talking red flag of a person. Speaking smooth and doting to everybody you meet but raising your fangs to their neck. You’re possibly even worse than Valentino. You trick everybody into thinking you’re polite and considerate and playful but you have a VERY ugly monster under those rainbow eyes

You have that charisma and friendliness Alastor uses regularly, coming off as upbeat and you greets all the Overlords politely but the proclaims you make… the way you eat other sinner demons with no problem and even brag about putting heads of decapitated men in pots. You have everybody in the room’s spines shivering in both disgust and intimidation at how you’re like

Alastor respects the way you establish yourself and getting his full respect is hard. You are intimidating, you are menacing, it’s a sign of how strong you actually are. The second strongest Overlord in Hell’s history(right behind Alastor). You regularly loom over Alastor and enjoy sweet-talking him

Alastor can recognise when a psychopath is talking so he never falls for your tricks nor your innocent act. You’re dangerous and twisted, specifically targeting and only eating men, hence you’re only-men member cult. He won’t let you even try take a finger off him

Alastor is basically our Shinobu, except Al doesn’t beat on us

Alastor doesn’t like you just touching him. You’ll reach out and touch him, solely to annoy him. He isn’t scared of you but he can tell why the other Overlords are so tense around you… you’re the most perfect cult leader, a inviting aura and a sensual voice that screams illusionary safety

Alastor has to hold his breath around you. When you’re angry, you turn ice cold and you don’t mind making the air too frozen for anybody to breathe in. So, he is quite careful with you. Juggling inbetween cold treatment and warm treatment, he feels like he is handling a spoiled brat when he talks to you

Alastor ignores the ‘gifts’ you make or get him. The lotus ice statues are wonderful but he knows what you’re trying to do… he may compliment your work but he won’t let you talk him into anything

But that doesn’t mean, Alastor doesn’t find your work nor your power impressive. He is very impressed and he rewards you for all you’ve done with your little cult and rising up to the rank to being the second strongest Overlord ever known in Hell. It’s a grand feat that he will clap to

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Aren’t you even a little bit worried about me, Lord Alastor~?”

“Darling. Kindly do not touch—“

“You don’t know how dreadfully worried I was. Since you all are cherished comrades of mine. I’d be heartbroken if I lost any of my comrades~”

Alastor finds your Japanese voice and language irresistible in a way, since it reflects your English and ‘nature’ very well but once again… he won’t fall for how often you say you like him. He knows people like you, he’s one of them. He’ll just commend what you’ve done as a Pride Ring Overlord

Alastor HATES the ‘Lord Alastor’ nickname you give him and always address him under… yeah. You give it to every other Overlord, he isn’t the only one who is called ‘Lord’ but it feels so condescending and in reality, it is…

“Silence, my dear. The adults are speaking… now, calm down that temper of yours. We don’t need anymore aircon in this room”

[rubber-glovs]

Vent post (wow a 2 in 1!!)

I really want to talk about sfth with my friends, but they don't understand how my hyperfixations work for me. I was talking about sfth with my friend (who is currently being turned into a shark friend) and they thought I was weird because of how much I had admired them, wrote fanfics abt (characters, not rpf) and had photos of them. Like it's hard for me to talk about my interests, I constantly have to hold myself back from going insane and yapping about them so much because they don't understand. Same with my other hyperfixations. I talked about Grian with another one of my friends, and they just thought I was such a weirdo for caring so much about some blocks. It was as if they weren't even listening. It actually hurt me quite a lot. My hyperfixations control my life, I think about them all the time and everything is a reference. The fact that people think I'm weird for that, the people that I care about the most in the world, makes me so upset. I'd rather have no one to talk to about my interests than be told I'm weird again. I don't really like having no one to talk to about something that I am so invested and interested in because I make my own bubble of thoughts that I just keep to myself and wish I had someone to talk to about it.

I actually can't believe I'm going to talk about boy problems. It feels ridiculous, but this next part is about a guy. I don't want to go too deep into details about us but think of all those casual by Chappel Roan tiktoks. He loved me, and I loved him. He just didn't know I was trans. When I had the courage to come out to him, he stopped talking to me completely. We didn't have each other on any socials, so there was no communication. I tried to talk to him, try to start a conversation with him, but he'd always end it and quite literally walk away and act like a stranger. It took him a year to actually just talk to me. It felt nice but hated how I liked it. It brought back all these sweet memories we had and my love for him. I hated it. I still hate it. I hate it right now. It's the new school year/grade, and we have classes together, we are sat near each other in classes, and I really wish we weren't. In spanish/languages class, we sat together (we have a seating plan), and he moved seats away from me. He didn't sit next to a friend. He just moved away from me. I hate to admit that it hurt me. Additionally, he has so many red flags. He's a terrible person, yet I put it to the side because I love him. Saying or even typing the words "I love him" actually makes me feel so guilty. I fucking hate his guts. I hate my guts, too. I don't hate him because he started distancing himself from me. I hate him because he's such a bad person. And I hate myself for loving him anyway. It's been a whole year since the day I fell in love with him, and I wish that day never happened. I wish we just stayed friends. I wish we never sat next to each other in that fucking maths class. His name is poison to me. It burns my skin the second I hear it. It hurts my heart, and it stops besting because I know he's shitty and I know I am too. Everything I find with his name on it, I want to rip it apart. I hate that name because it's his. It's ruined so much for me because I have such a terrible problem with it. I want these feelings to go away before I rip my large intestines out like a party trick. I hate having feelings for him. He's fucking awful. I hate myself so much because I love this man. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate everything about him that I used to love. I hate his voice, eyes, smile, laugh, hair, humour and just fucking everything. I fucking hate him. I hate myself for loving him. It's something that lives in the back of mind, and it taunts me every time I see him. I wish I never knew him. I wish he was just a classmate. I really fucking wish he was just a classmate. I hate myself.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Carlos-in-Glasses Goes to Paris

For prosperity I’ve written up my experience of the First Responders Reunion Convention – which is my first convention experience. And what an overwhelmingly good and stressful time it was. Under the cut is my attempt to capture my memories and the essence of it, rather than a transcription of panels and meeting rooms, as others have already done the good work (or will be). I hope you find this interesting and useful if you do read, and if you have any specific questions (including about travelling alone/logistics/issues I had) I’ll do my best to provide a coherent answer.

I am very tired and this is slightly manic but here we go:

Friday: If you are among those who waited in line for three hours to register for the convention, even if I did not see or interact with you….I feel we are spiritually bonded forever by the experience. Blimey, crikey, and bloody hell. It was not clear at all how long the wait would be, but I was not expecting that! However, there was an undeniable thrill in the air. I was in pain all over, yet happy. By the late evening, dinner was half a tube of Pringles and a glass of red wine.

Saturday: Breakfast was four croissants. I actually recommend this because they really did carry me through until lunch. Not long after arriving, we were milling about in the lobby waiting for the opening ceremony to begin - when Ronen walked past up on the mezzanine/ balcony thing, waving to us, all fabulous and just….there in the flesh?!!!...and revealing his hair. We’d speculated that he’d dyed it pink or the bisexual pride flag colours, or “wouldn’t it be funny if it’s just brown?!” And it was brown! And it WAS Funny.

The opening ceremony was a trip lol. Holy shit. They played a music video compilation of the actors from each show (I never want to hear How to Save a Life by The Fray ever again. Jk jk don’t come for meee). There was an undulation of incredibly loud screaming whenever particular actors popped up on screen, so it was like being on a rollercoaster that wasn’t moving. Adrenaline was high by the time all the actors walked out on stage and say hello. It’s hard to explain exactly how bonkers it is to be in the same physical space as Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha and see their non-TV dimensions… TANGENT TIME:

….Speaking of dimensions! I tried to pay close attention to the height difference between Ronen and Rafa, but it’s also an optical illusion in real life? FYI, I’m 5 ft 7 – Ronen didn’t seem massively taller than me, Rafa did seem massively taller than me; next to each other it was like there was nothing in it. But in my photos they’re both much taller than me and Ronen looks slightly the biggest I think 🤔 So I have no clue what’s going on. In fact, I’m more confused than ever.

After the opening ceremony (which I fled from because fuuuck) I was waiting around due to rocking up early for my meeting room by accident. The schedule was a confusing design and I was far from the only person who was doing a sort of 'hit-and-hope' when it came to figuring out where to be and when, especially as things almost immediately overran, so other activities got moved around/ postponed. ANYWAY – Ronen walked right past with a member of staff who was instructing him. I overheard him tell her “It’s okay…I’m a pro at this.” He really did wander around like he owned the place. At one point he strolled through the lobby with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

My first activity was the meeting room with Ronen and Rafa (ie. a group of a set number of people in a room with actors for half an hour). By chance it turned out that I was sitting almost right next to them, with a gap left for the door between us. So, super close. And obviously they were both mesmerising. This was the meeting room where Rafa said “To catch the murderer, Carlos has to behave like one”, and explained that Carlos would have to murder parts of himself. His emphasis was on how Carlos’ innocence has been taken from him because his father’s life was stolen. For what it’s worth, I interpreted this as Rafa viewing the whole thing very much from an dramatic actor’s standpoint, and how he needs to get into the mindset of Carlos’ particular grief metaphorically, rather than meaning anything literal. He speaks quite intensely and thoughtfully and his choice of words is often bold. For anyone concerned about it, just remember he was asked a question and responded off the cuff the best he could in the moment, with limited time. He doesn’t write the show and I guess he’s making assumptions based on how season 4 left off, like the rest of us, unless he’s had very specific conversations with Tim (which, maybe! But he wouldn’t be able to give anything away. We don’t know anything). Then, when Ronen brought up TK dying (because Ronen always dies in the films/TV he does – using an axe to the chest as an example) it was pointed out that Tarlos is endgame, so he can’t die. Cue Rafa being like “Carlos could die with him! They die together!” I was like goodness me lads it’s early in the morning for this. I needed a brandy afterwards.

Next up was my Tarlos Duo Photoshoot. As noted above, everything had fallen behind schedule, and things were starting to get switched around. Honestly, it was confusing, daunting and stressful (please note: Am VERY easily confused, daunted, and stressed). But thanks to the power of following others and asking questions, I ended up where I needed to be. When it was my turn, Rafa immediately and warmly put his arm around me to pose but Ronen was talking to a staff member, so Rafa and I were just… touching each other for a good few seconds before Ro joined us! I took the opportunity to thank Rafa for doing this for us, but I can’t remember how he responded. Then the photo was taken. I told them they’re both amazing, they said “aw thanks” at the same time, and again I fled the scene. As there are so many people, the shoot you have is super speedy. I advise really trying to keep your cool even though it’s a highly flustering situation. You don’t want it to become a total blur or something you regret, because it really is lovely to be next to them and quickly say a few words and get a keepsake afterwards.

My next activity was autographs and selfies with Natacha and Sierra. A super lovely thing. I gave them cards I'd written (as I also did for Rafa and Ronen the next day). Sierra was an absolute highlight for me. Just the warmest, kindest person. A total joy. She opened her card in front of me and I was like nooooo don't. It truly felt like she’d come to the convention for the opportunity to meet us, rather than the other way around. She told me she liked my outfit and said I look beautiful in pink. Similar to what I said to Rafa, I thanked her and told her I can’t imagine what it’s like for them to do this, expecting her to quickly say “oh you’re welcome” or something. But she started having a mini-philosophical conversation with me about the nature of fame and fandom! Then she said “it is overwhelming in the best way” because she gets to see the human heart behind all the messages etc (I’m paraphrasing). I said “it’s all about love” and she said “yes! It’s all about love, absolutely.” She was a true delight. And Natacha is a blast. She also complimented my pink outfit and I was like ???? Thanks????!!! Gahhh. The selfies came out way more flattering than the photoshoot. The lighting. Oof.

The last Saturday thing for me was the panel with Ronen and Rafa. It was quite brief but there were some real gems. Rafa saying he only has eyes for Tarlos. Ronen saying “Safe in their apartment holding on to each other. I think Carlos is TK’s honeymoon.” I melted. I let our an audible aww.

Sunday: The first thing was a Lone Star quiz in the panel room with Natacha and Sierra. They were so fun and such good sports. Then it was the Lone Star panel, where Natacha, Sierra, Ronen and Rafa were all on stage together answering fan questions. It was really nice to see them all interact, banter and laugh together. Sierra made a point of saying they’re all close in real life and hang out in their free time. There was a great vibe between them and such a good atmosphere in the room. I loved it when Rafa told Ronen that he was out of rhythm when it came to learning the pilot episode line dance; Ronen argued that he smashed it and there's video evidence. Rafa's response was "Sweetie, no."

I then had the autograph and selfie sessions with Rafa and Ronen, but because the Lone Star panel overran, suddenly Ronen had his photoshoot session instead, so I had a clash between going to that or staying downstairs for Rafa. I was trying to figure out what to do until the queen that is @actuallysara got some clarity from a staff member and we went up to Ronen, but by that point the upper level by the studio was crowded and chaotic. Be advised to prepare for disarray if you’ve never been to a convention before. It might be that you experience no scheduling issues or confusion, but just be prepared for the advent anyway. As it happened, I was through quickly for my photo with Ronen – again thanks to Sara locating the door! Ronen, hungover, was wearing his sunglasses, so I wore mine. He did a dumb pose without saying anything; I grinned at the camera and then thanked him and ran off again to get back downstairs where Rafa was still signing autographs. I got to tell him he plays my favourite character of all time and we took a selfie I really love ahhhh. Then Rafa had to leave for his photoshoot – which was my next thing – so I ran back upstairs and was one of the first in line! So I was like “heeey nice to see you again so soon…!” He remembered my name – I guess because he’d only just written it down 😅 I thanked him for the 10th time – just couldn’t stop thanking everyone like I’d caught a disease where the symptom is permanent gratitude. THEN I ran downstairs to do the autograph and selfie with Ronen, who was running late – so that got postponed to the afternoon after we’d already waited a long while. When it did happen it was great - I can't remember what I said to him but I assume it was polite and made sense – although a chaotic queuing system again ensued. A whole long line of us were crushed together in the heat. I had an Aperpol spritz after and when I tell you I’d never needed a drink like that more…

That was it for my paid activities! Unknown to me at the time, my final glimpse of Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha was when I was sitting on the floor eating Ritz Crackers while they were wandering past on their way to/from whatever they were doing next. It felt so normal to see them around at that point. We gathered for the closing ceremony, thinking we’d see all the actors on stage once more for a goodbye, but the ceremony had to happen without any of the actors because of running late. So, I cherish my ‘seeing them in the hallway’ memories.

Overall feelings and would I do it again? If you’ve never been to a convention before but want to, do go into it with open eyes: There’s potentially a lot of waiting around and standing in line for a long time in a hot space (sometimes the line is more like a shapeless crowd and you don’t know where it begins and ends). Some of the activities are quite rushed. They fall behind schedule easily and you have to be agile about where to go next and what to do. The Dream It team worked super hard and could do with employing more staff in stewarding roles, ideally wearing something that identifies them as such (the staff blended in with the visitors of the convention). But I don’t know the economics of their staffing situation so maybe they can’t grow the team. Anyway, having more signs up also would have been useful. When you do get your moment with Ronen, Rafa, Sierra, Natacha though – or whoever you have come to see – it really is beautiful and meaningful.

Right now, I’m flipflopping – but mainly I think once is enough for me, unless they come to a convention the UK. There’s a couple of aspects I’d like to ‘do over,’ but perhaps not enough to try to recreate the magic a second time, given the expense of it?? That might change over the coming months – we’ll see! I went to this convention with the goal of meeting Ronen and Rafa (with Natacha and a Sierra being a glorious bonus as I booked it long before they were announced as guests) to tell them in person thank you and I love you – and I achieved that. I do think it was worth my money, but it is very expensive and tiring. I was lucky to be in a good position to pay for it this year, which might not be the case going forward. You really need to be able to afford to do it, and genuinely want to do it, knowing you’re paying money for something that is going to have some hard and challenging aspects as well as the amazing and joyful. Personally, I love that I went once. I didn’t love the Super Endurance Test of 2023 that was standing in line for three hours on Friday after travelling hahaaaaaa god. I loved the selfies and autograph sessions. I didn’t love the photoshoot outcomes but I loved that I’ve had Rafa’s large hand on my shoulder because I'm slutty so. I love that I looked into both his and Ronen’s eyes and told them how great they are. I love that I uploaded my selfie with Rafa to my instastory and he viewed it, so there’s just a line of my friends’ names, then actuallyrafa, then a line of my friends’ names 🤣

I also want to note that in real life, compared to footage of them in interviews/insta lives/wherever, I think you get even more of a sense of just how different they are to their characters. It made me respect them all even more than I already did, which I didn’t think was possible. They are SO talented.

BUT most importantly: The reason why this was so brilliant was @actuallysara, without whom I wouldn’t have thought I could travel alone to Paris and do this at all. Sara, meeting you and giving you a big hug was also the dream. You are so helpful and knowledgeable and kind ,and once again your flags were a fantastic idea and I’m so happy I got to sign them. I hope I get to see you again very soon. Thank you from the depths of my soul. @meditating-honey-badger (and your fabulous companion…!) it was a true delight to hang out, and chill out, and have such funny and deep conversations. You are an absolute light and I loved meeting you. I hope so much to see you again too. Like Sara, it could never be too soon. And @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut. What can I say. What can I possibly say. I want to make drinking on rooftop bars while talking about writing our thing. I’ve never done that with anyone else. We really went through this side by side and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I already miss you and I thank you too. You are, in fact, the warmest doughnut in town. All of you, forever ❤️. You made it what it was.

(Digitally applied giant aviator sunglasses and some editing so the Tarlos duo photoshoot doesn't count as a face reveal. Thank you also to the lovely people who made bracelets and handed them out.)

[astoldbyaja]

Bark like you want it!- Ch.4~AU Demon Slayer~

My eyes were moving all over the library as I was so nervous about Akaza popping up. I feel Kyojuro’s hand suddenly move to hook onto my hip, and I tensed immediately. On instinct I recoiled as we left the building.

Kyojuro looked at me confused.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Well one, Akaza is obviously out looking for you to finish what you started, two he’s going to expect an explanation for me not meeting up with him,-”

“You don’t need to worry about him anymore.” he interrupted, taking my hand suddenly.

“Yeah, easy for you to say, you don’t have a class with him.” I said.

“I’ll walk you to all your classes and make sure he doesn’t bother you.” he said. That does not fix the fact that the man will be inside the classroom!

“Can you not hold my hand please?” I asked. His hand had curled into mine, but my fingers remained stretched. Kyojuro looked offended now.

“Why, you’re my girl.” he stated.

“We should set some boundaries for what this means. You offered this relationship in return for protecting me from the Kizuki gang.” I replied.

“I offered you this protection because I wanted to be with you. I like you and I aim to make you like me in return to the point where you will be truly happy with me. I desire no other but you.” he said in a somewhat robotic tone, and I winced.

“Look I’ve never been good at relationships. They take effort and having to adapt to someone else’s wants and needs. I’m not entirely sure I can give effort into just one person. It wouldn’t be fair to the other. That’s why I don’t date. I like my peace and my alone time, and I won’t give that up for anyone!” I said stopping to look at him now. Kyojuro stared at me for a moment before smiling brightly.

“So, you want this to be completely transactional. Fine I ensure your safety, and in return you will offer me the benefits of a relationship that includes hanging out, texting, calling, going on dates, be completely and I do mean completely exclusive with one another. You will give your heart to me as I will give my hear to you.” he said.

“That is quite a lot for one deal.” I said.

“I’m not done. We will have sex when we both want it, you have to be emotionally available too and I will offer all of that as well as protection.” he said. I gave a gentle whine. This is already too much! I looked away pulling my hand from him and crossing my arms.

“And what if I can’t do that for you?” I asked. “How long is this deal supposed to last?” There was an eerie silence, and I slowly peaked to look at him to see Kyojuro’s smile was gone from his face.

“If you can’t be loyal then our deal will be broken. I’ll leave you alone. But I will also tell Akaza that you did set him up to get jumped by me tonight.” he said. My heart nearly froze as the horror spread over my face.

“What? Why would you do that?” I asked angrily. Suddenly, Kyojuro bust out laughing, his lip suddenly bleeding again. The sound was almost maniacal.

“Oh, the look on your face! It’s priceless!” he said. I looked him over, my brain screaming that this man was just as much of a red flag as Akaza. I took a step back from him, and he only grabbed me and pulled me into him staring down at me with a slightly crazed look. “I don’t think you know the lengths that I am prepared to go in order to ensure we’re never a part. You have nothing to worry about with me, Yara. You will be safe and loved and protected within the Hashira gang.

“Wha! I have to join your gang too! No way! I won’t do that!” I replied, His grip on my shoulders tightened some.

“Well all the girls join when they date a Hashira member. It’s the only way I can truly offer you, my protection.” he said. I stiffened.

“This was a bad idea. All of it. I will take my chances with Akaza if I cannot keep away from your gang. I won’t do it. I don’t care what you tell him!” I said. Inside I was seething, because he still has not informed me that he was joking about lying to Akaza. I couldn’t trust him, and I was a fucking fool for fucking him.

Kyojuro sighed.

“Fine. I won’t make you join the Hashira. Just say you’ll agree to our deal, and we can go have fun with our friends!” he said happily. I stiffened and raised my hand to pull his fingers from my shoulder. We were still in public, and I was sure he did not want to make any scene that would draw unwanted attention.

“You go on tonight. I’m going to take the shuttle home.” I replied turning and walking toward one the shuttle stop.

“Huh! Yara wait, why!” he asked following me.

“I don’t like being black mailed. To me that’s just another way to threaten me.” I hissed.

“Yara, I would never! I was only trying to playfully scare you is all!” he said. I stood by the large black shelter and just waited. I was cautious the entire time.

“You’re not a nice man Kyojuro.” I said suddenly and now his eyes widened at his words.

“What?” he asked completely stunned. I looked at him.

“You only wanted to help me in order to get something in return. You didn’t help me out of the goodness of your heart.” I said. He winced and shook his head.

“Yara everything I said back there, about me always wanting you, finding you beautiful-”

“Was just a way to get in my pants and you got that. I can’t set boundaries with you. I couldn’t even set boundaries with Akaza. Forget it all ever happened. I’ll take whatever shit he throws at me, but I refuse to let you take advantage of me.” I growled. The shuttle pulled up and the door opened.

“I would never! Yara please I wasn’t trying to black mail you. I was just angry that you wouldn’t want to put effort in me- in us giving me a chance us a chance at a relationship!” he prattled.

“Good night, Kyojuro.” I replied and got on the shuttle. I was happy he didn’t follow me. I sat down in the back and just sighed quietly. That was some roller coaster. I glanced toward the window to see him standing there having moved to the back. He looked torn, heartbroken. I just looked away and sighed. Once the shuttle began to move, I immediately moved to grab my phone. I’ve missed 5 calls from Akaza.

I texted him.

Me: Hey sorry I didn’t show up at the library. I had some stuff going on and I didn’t feel up to facing you. You good?

…

Akaza: No Yara, I’m not fucking good! But we are going to talk that’s for damn sure. Tomorrow, the science building. Noon. Come alone and if you don’t I’m going to have to punish you.

Me: Fine

I put my phone away and just groaned, running my hands over my face. I was thinking of all the words Kyojuro used in that locker. How I was his first and last thoughts when waking up and going to bed. Then now he threatens to tell Akaza a blatant lie knowing it could get me hurt or worse! God, I didn’t like how complicated things had just gotten. I literally just wanted to do my thing and have my fun. I placed my phone on vibrate and realized Kyojuro had messaged me.

Kyojuro: I didn’t want to just get in your pants, and you can set boundaries with me and I’m going to prove it! You’ll still have my protection with nothing in return! But what I did back there was some pretty punk ass behavior and I’m sorry. Get home safe and if you’re ever in need of help, drop the location and I’ve got you.

I winced at the text thinking actions spoke louder than words. I simply pushed and held on his response and tapped the thumbs up emoji before putting my phone away.

I hadn’t realized the shuttle stopped nor did I take note of the heavy boots and heals clanging on the ground until two figures were before me and sitting on either side of me, placing their back packs on the empty space beside them.

“Evening Yara.” Gyutaro purred making Ume giggle sinisterly. I groaned.

“FUUUUUUUCK ME!” I yelled out in annoyance. Not only could I now not get off at my stop, I had to basically ride this damn shuttle until these guys were done with me.

“Everything okay back there?” the bus driver asked. I crossed my legs, and my arms and pouted.

“Fine!” the three of us said with different emotions on our faces.

“I’ve already spoken with Akaza we’re going to meet up tomorrow.” I said. I feel Gyutaro’s tall and skinny fingers grip my chin and turn me to face he with a low groan. He did not look happy.

“Akaza got jumped today by fucking Rengoku a few hours ago at the library you both were supposed to meet up at. You know anything about that?” he asked.

“Why would I? I’m not involved with the Hashira or the Kizuki.” I replied. I feel his grip tighten on my chin and I whimper. “I was studying, but I had some other shit going on and I left. I felt bad for ditching him, but I rescheduled with him a few minutes ago! Whatever shit he has going on with Kyojuro has nothing to do with me!” I snapped smacking his hand away from my face. His eyes snapped with excitement at me.

“And you think we’re just going to up and believe that?” Ume asked. I looked at her.

“What do you want me to say? I am not responsible for whatever drama you both have. If I’m becoming such an inconvenience to Akaza and your group, I will happily end things with him and with all of you, so you don’t have to worry about me adding unwanted drama to your lives.” I said noticing the school’s student mess hall. I could get off here! I made an attempt to get up, however Gyutaro’s hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder forcing me to sit down.

“Hey we ain’t done talking!” he snarled. I winced some feeling a sting on my neck. Gyutaro noticed this and placed his hand on my shirt and yanked it down hard observing the bite marks on my neck. He suddenly started snickering.

“Oh, I see! This other shit you had to deal with… you were getting dicked down by someone else!” he said laughing now. I smacked his hand away harder from my shirt as he was stretching my collar. Another jolt of excitement appeared over his face, his legs suddenly pushing together. He gave me a flirtatious smile and I refused to give his crotch the attention he wanted.

“Wow seriously! How much of a slut can you be!” Ume taunted. I froze and took a few even breaths turning to look at her.

“I will not be made to feel guilty for enjoying the carnal pleasures of a man. Maybe you should take your brother’s dick out of your mouth some day and try something new. You may just like it.” I snarled. She fumed and Gyutaro only laughed even harder now.

“Hey why are you laughing!” Ume boomed moving to hit at his shoulder from behind me. I sighed seeing our shuttle pass the mess hall and stop at another dorm. Ume made a high pitched hmf noise and stood up. “You know what I don’t have to take this! I am heading to my dorm. I expect you to handle this brother!”

And with that she got off the shuttle. One down, one to go.

“How are you going to handle me? Why are you all even trying to handle me anyways? It’s obvious I have started drama for your group. It would be easier to just forget about me and then none of you will have problems. Like seriously, I fucked the man a few times and now there’s drama.” I said looking at Gyutaro who sighed placing his backpack on his lap. I noticed a bike helmet attached to it.

“It’s not how we do things. Akaza claimed you as his, sort of, and so we gotta see that you continue to make him happy. He’d do the same for us so we’re doing the same for him.” he said. God these people are crazy. I looked him over now, moving my body to face him. He eyed me with caution as I did this.

“What does that even mean claiming me from a Kizuki’s perspective. Does he really think I’m his girlfriend?” I asked. He huffed some.

“I can’t speak for him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your kitty cat just has him a little drunk is all.” he said. I hummed gently.

“Maybe I need to fuck him so much he gets annoyed with me. Give him pussy poisoning.” I muttered. He burst out laughing now!

“Oh my god, stop please!” he said, and I couldn’t help but grin at my own words. “Maybe that’s why he’s obsessed with you. You’re funny, apparently have good pussy, and you’re cute. No wonder Akaza is so anxious when he’s not with you. You balance him out.”

I can’t believe he thinks that is what Akaza believes just from the times they’ve all hung out with me.

“You never answered my question, how are you going to handle me? What was your end game for tonight? Did Akaza send you to question me on if I knew anything about his fight with Kyojuro?” I asked. He snorted.

“Nah he doesn’t know we’re here. Look believe it not, we’re like a family. He got attacked and we need to find out what happened and handle it the way it needs to be handled… and besides,” he said with a smirk, “I already figured out where you were this evening so you’re very lucky to not have been involved.”

I stiffened and just sighed looking away now.

“But I don’t think Akaza will be too happy if he found out you were out fucking another guy. May make him want to find out who this guy is and pulverize him. It would make him feel better after this fight with the Hashira.” he said lowly. I rolled my eyes now already hearing the tone in his voice. I frowned leaning into him.

“Let’s get one thing straight, I can fuck who I want, when I want. Akaza doesn’t own me or this pussy!” I said. Now his smirk widened as he leaned into me immediately. The motion was so quick, I squeaked and leaned back.

“Is that right? I’m going to remember that.” he said. I did not like the look of menacing excitement on his face. The shuttle stopped in one of the student parking lots and he got up, turning to face me so his crotch was facing me. I leaned back further looking away. “Catch you later, Yara.” I sighed and leaned back into my seat looking out the window.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I replied lowly. I didn’t even have to wonder what he meant by both handling this situation and seeing him later, although I hope his last sentence was just a way to scare me. They’re going to go after Kyojuro. I should warn him, right?

Yes, and get involved in gang problems. No, mind the business that pays you.

I would say nothing about the encounters that happened today. I saw nothing and I heard nothing. As the shuttle moved, I could hear the revving of a motorcycle, and I turned to see a motorcycle riding up beside me. It was Gyutaro. He stuck his tongue out at me and gave me a taunting glare before revving his bike and riding away.

I groaned.

“Fuck me!” I groaned. Once I got off at the familiar block, I walked down to my apartments and went inside. I ignored the sounds of moaning coming from both my roommate’s rooms and for once, I wanted to ignore all thoughts of sex and everything surrounding it. I went to my room, showered, and jumped into the bed. I played on my phone a bit, answered a text from Mitsuri making sure it was me who came home, then I passed out. Thank God tomorrow is Friday.

I just had to survive my meeting with Akaza. I even decided to message my hair stylist and put in an appointment to get some goddess braids. Then I will definitely show out at the game lounge! I needed some me time most definitely.

----------------

Author's Notes

Don't do it Yara! Don't get those sexy braids! It will not end well for you!! Especially when Hantengu's brothers get involved XD

And I can so see Ume and Gyotaro trying to make passes at her either separately or together just like Doma and Kokushibo.

[shiroandblack]

On Menelaus and Helen

So I am currently reading the Iliad and it's honestly been on my mind these past few weeks I've been reading it, but one thing I do wonder about is Helen and her husband, Menelaus.

Just a quick disclaimer, the Iliad is my first true foray into Greek mythology which isn't through other media like Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series or a Greek mythology book which has a collection of different stories in it. So if anyone has any insights I would love to hear it.

Helen is the daughter of Leda, Queen of Sparta, and Zeus. But we know that because the gods don't pay their child support, Tyndareus the King of Sparta is Helen's 'father' so to speak. Helen has siblings, Clytemnestra, Pollux, and Castor. Of which Pollux like her is a child of Zeus as well, and Helen is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Now, first of all it's not really that clear to me who chose Menelaus as her consort, whether it was Helen herself of Tyndareus. I mean, there's the bargain Odysseus made with Tyndareus which is basically like 'let me marry Penelope and I'll help you figure out a way to marry off Helen without offending everybody else' because Helen was the It Girl and every prince/king wanted to marry her. So Odysseus makes every suitor there swear an oath to defend the marriage of Helen and whoever is chosen to be her husband and to basically keep their silence forever on this issue. This oath has Oath of Fëanor level ramifications, but I digress.

If Helen had chosen Menelaus herself, it would've made sense specifically in this context of why Tyndareus married her off to a second son when he could've married her off to say Agammemnon who is the King of Mycenae who instead married her sister Clytemnestra, another one of Tyndareus' daughters. However if Agammemnon and Clytemnestra were already married at this time, then it makes sense why he didn't. Anyways, besides Agammemnon there were other kings there like Idomeneus (I am sorry if I spelt his name wrong) so if Tyndareus was the one who chose Menelaus then politically speaking it doesn't really make sense because as shitty as this sounds - if I were a king looking to sell off my daughter who everyone wants to marry, who everyone has offered great things to me to, I'd marry her off to essentially the highest bidder. But then again, we don't really know the relationship between Tyndareus and Helen because if he was the one who chose her husband and he cared about Helen as his daughter - then from a personal viewpoint it would be understandable why he chose Menelaus. He fostered Menelaus and probably had some idea of Menelaus' personality and knew Helen wouldn't be abused or miserable with him.

Based on just the Iliad, Menelaus seems to be an okay dude insofar a man from that specific time-period could be. I mean, he's not a walking red flag like Achilles, nor is he a mansplaining manipulator like Odysseus, or an arrogant, daughter-murdering prick like Agammemnon. All round he seems decent and that could be the main reason Helen/Tyndareus chose him.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

You turned our song down, baby, what for? You had lit candles on the dashboard Red roses growing out of the door Wanna say something you never said before

We were driving down Sunset You know I love fast cars Passed by where we first met Damn, we made it so far

Red eyes from the red light And that just set the mood You say you’re obsessed with me So I took a second …and I said me too

I’m obsessed with me as much as you Say you’d die for me, I’d die for me too And if I lost you, I’d still have me, I can’t lose When you say that you’re obsessed with me, me too

I did my hair like waves on the beach This dress so tight you can’t even speak My heels so high I might get a nose bleed Music’s so loud, but I hear your heartbeat

We were driving down Sunset You know I love fast cars Passed by where we first met Damn, we made it so far

Red eyes from the red light And that just set the mood You say you’re obsessed with me So I took a second …and I said me too

I’m obsessed with me as much as you Say you’d die for me, I’d die for me too And if I lost you, I’d still have me, I can’t lose When you say that you're obsessed with me, me too

I’m obsessed with me as much as you Say you’d die for me, I’d die for me too And if I lost you, I’d still have me, I can’t lose When you say that you're obsessed with me, me too

***

HIIIII SORRY GOTTA CRAM IN A COUPLE LAST MINUTE SUBMISSIONS BEFORE THE END OF FEMSLASH FEBRUARY

Okay, but tbh!!! I pair this song with YasMoon because of course I do, I pair everything with YasMoon, but it could easily work for S1 Yasmine x Anyone. That girl's egotism was absolutely UNMATCHED.

This song is honestly so perfect for S1 YasMoon at its most absolutely, shamelessly, rancidly toxic, and I am feral about it. Like, Moon practically worshiped the ground Yasmine walked on--to the point she just kept doing shit she was clearly uncomfortable with to please her girlfriend best friend. Like she laughed at all Yasmine's mean jokes, even though we know Moon isn't really a mean-spirited person! She let Yasmine boot Sam out of their clique (AND her fancy red Mercedes-Benz!), even though she would've readily taken Sam back if she apologized! She sat by Yasmine and watched their ex-friend get slut-shamed by the entire cafeteria, even though she clearly disapproved! Idk, sure sounds like someone's a little bit obsessed with impressing Ms. Off-Brand Regina George. But what do I know 💅

Also, yes, I absolutely believe these girls spent their off-screen time in Season 1 going on joyrides down Sunset Boulevard, blasting every generic pop-rock song they can get their manicured hands on, wearing stilettos and slutty dresses to get one another hot and bothered, gifting each other rose bouquets, having blatant fire hazards in their cars for the "sultry vibes," and fucking nasty in the most secluded corners of Encino. Both the back of that Range Rover and the back of that Benz have seem some action, I'm sure 👀

ALSO "You know I love fast cars" dying because Yasmine canonically does??? She loves cars so fast that they ram into the prized Pontiac Firebirds of jaded, ex-karate-champion alcoholics and bash them up so bad that said alcoholics have to get towed to their ex-karate-rival's car dealership and end up restarting an evil snake dojo out of spite. Was it worth it, Yas??? Was your love of fast cars worth kick-starting a martial arts war for the soul of the San Fernando Valley???

Kind of really like how this moodboard came out D: The scarlet, orange, yellow-blonde, and Slutty Pink™️combination goes so hard for them, imo. Also matches up with the colors these lesbians loves to wear, so!!! Yasmine and Moon love their oranges and reds and pinks 🧡❤️🩷 Coincidentally, a couple of those colors feature prominently in a certain flag...

YASMOON TAG LIST LET'S GOOOOO @multifandom-lesbian09 @karatecaulfield @themasterusersblog @ficusin @gemini-sensei @elisiassideb1tch

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request! Hopefully more YasMoon soon to come ❤️❤️❤️

[purplemarshal]

dum dum

Chapter tree of my Caseytello fic! I really want to post my next chapter tomorrow for Friday the 13th so, here this one is!

3rd person P.O.V.

Casey reluctantly followed the mutant rat-man back into the dojo, which at this point seemed more like a crime scene and that Casey was going to be interrogated for murder. Leo gave him a weak smile as they passed, leaving Casey both confused and utterly terrified.

Casey stood in the doorway, slightly leaning on the screen.

“Come in Casey.” Splinter instructed and Casey did, sitting in front of him on the matted floor. 

“So uh, am I in trouble or somethin’? ‘Cause I will easily apologize but-”

The human was cut off.

“No my child, I certainly do not believe so.”

“Great, well it is getting late and-”

“No. I do think however that you should stay here tonight.”

Casey looked at him in disbelief, sure he had stayed the night before, and it would be no problem with his dad if he did stay but Splinter had never really thought Casey should stay over.

“Um okay, but, why?”

“Because you and Donatello should have a conversation.” Splinter sighed, “you are both going through similar things but are both dumb dumbs.”

That was another thing that the boy would have never expected the older one to say, dumb dumb. A slight red flag went off in his mind.

“Donnie and I talk all the time though.” Casey protested, slightly weary of the situation.

“Casey, I know.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“I know what you are, how you feel.”

“S-sir?”

Splinter chuckled, “Michelangelo and I have talked about it before, therefore I know. You have a crush on Donatello.” He finished matter-of-factly.

Of course Mikey had something to do with it. The sudden slang and meme references made sense. But that didn’t stop the human from turning completely red.

“Splinter-uh, you don’t understand. It’s not like that, it's more like- OW!”

Casey rubbed his head from where Splinter had hit him with his staff, effectively shutting up the stuttering and blushing mess of a teenager.

“Shush, go with the others, I wish to talk to Donatello now.”

Raph laughed his ass off as Casey relayed his interaction with the rat to him. 

“He, really said that?” The turtle choked out between his outburst of giggles.

“That’s what I’m saying dude,” the latter didn’t look up from his bowl of cornflakes, out of fear of how red his face might be. “Quit laughing man.”

After Casey had left the dojo he had an awkward run in with a certain purple clad turtle, well awkward for Casey at least, no one could really read what Donnie was thinking. Raph caught Casey and now they were eating shity cereal in the kitchen. 

“YOOOO!” Mikey entered, very loudly. “So, sleepover.”

He motioned toward Casey who just frowned deeper at the mutant.

“C’mon man, I told him like,” Mikey paused to take a bite of some cold pizza he found. “Like a week ago now!”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I never said it would!” The turtle raised his hands in defense.

The two continued to bicker as Raph just rolled his eyes before yelling to a different room.

“Leo! The girls are fighting!” 

He snickered, this was the Raph Casey was more fond of.

Leo walked into the kitchen. “C’mon guys, I can’t even hear space heroes over you.” She said, sounding sad about not being able to hear favorite show.

“You guys know what tonight calls for? Movie night!” Mikey answered his own question before anyone else could even try to answer. “I got dibs!” And like that, The brother in orange was gone, shortly followed by the blue sister exclaiming something about how she was already using it. Raph gave Casey a not-so light punch and followed his siblings to the living room.

Plopping down onto the couch Casey felt like he was being watched. You know that funky feeling from your extra sense that you only acknowledge when someone might be looking at you? Yeah that one where the hair on the back of your neck stands up and everything.

So the mentioned boy hesitantly looked around.

April was with her dad so it couldn’t be her.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey were in front of him, fighting over what to watch.

And the alarm system Donnie added would’ve gone off if there was an intruder. But just as Casey could have thought about excluding the missing turtle and their rat father from who it could be, Splinter walked out of the dojo.

To everyone's surprise however, he was not followed by Donnie. But before anyone could question it the purple turtle came out from a shadowed corner, holding a few containers of popcorn, walking over and sitting on the floor. 

Much to their families disappointment. 

The disappointment however, took Casey by surprise.

This was the longest chapter yet! And also had the most references to the song it was inspired by. Hopefully I can finish and post the 4th chapter tomorrow for the spookies. Love ya'll bye!

[oc3anawrites]

Shattered reflections

read chapter one here

summary: Steven Grant has been losing time and hearing a man talking to him in the mirror. he thinks he's gone "absolutely bonkers"

cw: sad steven grant

Chapter 2: Steven, with a V.

Nearly 3 months after Marc’s disappearance she receives a phone call. When she picks up the phone, a timid British man answers.

✦

present day

Steven has had a rough few months. He wakes up in his apartment, checking that his legs are still chained to the bed. As he gets up he checks that the sand around his bed is undisturbed and that the tape on his door is still sealed. He gets dressed and starts his morning by making a phone call to his mother.

“Hello mum, it’s me. Just checkin’ in. I got your postcard, putting it up on Gus’ tank now. It’s nice. He keeps asking me why I don’t take him anywhere nice.” Steven says as he feeds Gus, his goldfish.

“Anyway mum, I still wake up everyday feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus. Other than that, all's well here. Anyway, sorry I missed you mum, I’ll try again tomorrow. Laters, gators.” He says before he ends the phone call and heads to work. 

Stevens day is filled with inconvenience. First he nearly misses his bus, then he falls asleep on a random person's shoulder during the ride. Still exhausted even though he seemingly got a full night's rest. Once he gets to work he makes conversation with a little girl. He tells her about the ‘field of reeds’ your soul goes to after you die and shares his passion about Ancient Egypt. She makes a snide comment about him not being allowed into the ‘field of reeds’ before his boss, Donna interrupts them.

“Don’t know how many times I have to tell you this but you’re not the bloody tour guide Stevie.” Donna says.

“Steven, actually. I am.. Steven.” he responds.

As the day passes, one of his coworkers asks him on a date. 

“7 O’clock tomorrow?” she asks.

Confused, Steven asks if she’s asking him out. She laughs and walks away.

Steven spends the rest of his day at work talking to Donna about his passion for Ancient Egypt. Shut down at every attempt to share his knowledge. 

As Steven leaves work, he nods to the security guard.

“Night J.B.”

“Night, Scotty.” The security guard responds.

“Scotty? It’s Steven with a V.” Steven responds, flustered. And makes his way out of the door.

Before heading home, Steven stops to talk to a man pretending to be a golden statue for tips. He shares all his thoughts about his blackouts, how his body just wants to get up and wander around.How lately he’s been missing pieces of his memory. He also shares his excitement about the date with the girl from work.

“Anyway, if I am going to have a girlfriend, at some point, obviously can’t have ankle restraints on my bed can I? That’s like the definition of a red flag, isn’t it?”

He thanks the statue man for letting him ‘catch up’ and heads home. Before bed he fixes the sand, tapes his door, and puts on his ankle restraints. He listens to a podcast and fidgets with a puzzle cube, trying to stay awake. But eventually he falls asleep.

The next morning he wakes up in an unfamiliar place, pain in his jaw.

“Go back to sleep worm. You’re not supposed to be here. Surrender the body to Marc.” A deep, intimidating voice says.

“Sorry, what? ‘The body’ what’s happening?” Steven responds.

“Oh the idiots in control.” The menacing voice responds.

Over the next hour, Steven fights with the voice in his head. He wanders around an unfamiliar city while men are shooting at him. Utterly clueless, Steven is terrified. Once in the city, he watches a man with blonde hair ‘judge’ an older woman and take her life. The people around notice Steven as an outsider and begin to chase him. They insist he has something called a ‘scarab’ and when Steven tries to hand the scarab over to them, it seems like he’s lost control of his own hands, they’re darting away from the men and his legs are running as fast as they can. Suddenly, his eyes roll back into his head and he blacks out. When he wakes up, his face is covered in blood and there are bodies around him. Terrified, he steals an ice cream truck and drives away. The menacing voice in his head continues to scold him. A chase ensues as he drives the icecream truck, freaking out because he ‘doesn’t even have his license’. Steven blacks out once again and wakes up in his bed, covered in sweat.

“Thank god, it was just a dream.” he says to himself.

He spends the next day doing his usual routine, calling his mom, feeding Gus, making sure none of his measures are tampered with. Suddenly, he notices his fish Gus has somehow magically grown back a fin. He takes the fish to the petstore and the woman there insists she saw him yesterday and that he’s “not quite right” in the head. He realizes the time and gets ready for his date with the woman from his work. He arrives at the restaurant and waits an hour for his date but she doesn’t show. So he picks up his phone and calls her.

“Punchy huh? Calling me now,” The woman says.

“What? What do you mean? I’m at the restaurant for steak. It’s steak time.” His voice was innocent and cracking slightly.

The woman tells Steven he stood her up 2 days ago and tells him to lose her number. Steven could’ve sworn it was Friday but the waiter tells him it’s sunday. A somber expression on his face, tears in his eyes, Steven (who is a vegan) orders one steak for himself. Sits in the restaurant and eats his steak, alone.

On his way home, he calls his mother telling her that the date went great and he’d bring her around soon and introduce her to his mom, just wanting his mom to think he’s okay. He throws away the flowers he got for his date and when he gets home, devours the box of chocolates he bought. He drops some chocolate on the floor and then notices one of his wood panels is scratched, he follows the scratch to a panel in the wall. Inside the panel he finds a set of keys to a storage room and a phone. There is only one name in the phone “Amaya”. So, he calls it.

“Oh my god you're alive. I’ve been texting and calling you for months. I thought you were dead. Where are you? Where have you been?” Amaya states. 

“S-sorry I just found this phone in my flat and I’m trying to figure out whose it is.” The voice on the other end says, sporting a british accent.

“What is with the accent?” She asks.

“Sorry, who do you think I am?” He responds.

“Who do you mean ‘who’ what the hell is wrong with you Marc?”

The name “Marc” throws Steven off guard, he questions why she would call him that. Then the phone hangs up. 

On the other side of the phone, Steven tries to redial the number before hearing a voice in his head.

“Steven.. Steven…Steven… You need to stop. Leave her out of this. You’re going to get yourself in trouble.” The voice is different from the one before. He sounds calm but stern and has an American accent.

Steven begins panicking, searching around his apartment for an intruder. He comes across a mirror and suddenly he sees himself. Except, it’s not him. The man in the mirror tells him,

“stop looking.”

 Steven runs out of his apartment into the elevator. The lights begin to flicker and he hears loud thumping footsteps on the other side of the elevator doors. When the doors open he sees a tall figure with the head of a bird skeleton and a large staff. Steven panics and throws himself against the elevator wall. Questioning his reality, Steven begins panicking further before blacking out once again. When he wakes up, he sees the figure once again.

“Oh my god he’s real.” Steven says to himself. 

Hurriedly, he runs into his work as he has woken up on the bus, at the bus stop for his job. Steven is sweaty, dark circles under his eyes. It looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks. At work, the blonde man he saw before confronts him, trying to convince Steven to give him the scarab. He begins talking about Ammit. He begins mentioning “avatars” of the gods. His name is Arthur Harrow and he is Ammit’s avatar. He uses Ammit’s powers to judge and punish those before they can commit to evil. He explains.

“Oh uh avatar, blue people yeah love that film.” Steven says, flustered.

The man continues talking about how Ammit was betrayed by her avatar.

“By avatar I mean-”

Steven interrupts him.

“You mean the anime.”

The man, growing impatient, tells Steven to stop and listen. Saying he knows about the voice in Steven’s head. The man grabs Steven’s arms and tells him,

“There’s chaos in you.”

 Steven manages to escape away from the man when a flood of guests walk in. Thinking he’s going insane, Steven returns back to work as a gift shop attendee. 

After hours, the lights begin to flicker and a dog growling can be heard, the air whips around Steven and shadows begin to appear

 Suddenly, Harrows voice booms over the intercom-

“Steven Grant from the giftshop, give me the scarab and you will not be harmed.”

an ancient egyptian jackal begins chasing steven around his work, terrified for his life steven runs, nearly tripping over himself and knocking over artifacts. The jackal is menacing, only one thing set on its mind, killing steven.

Steven locks himself in the bathroom and suddenly he hears a voice in his head once again.

“Steven, look at me.” the voice says.

“No, no you’re not real, this isn’t real.” Steven says, slapping himself in his face.

“This is real, I’m real. You have to give me control, it's the only way. Let me save us.” 

Reluctantly, Steven lets go allowing the man to take control of his body. His neck turns back, his face up at the ceiling and his body begins to be enshrouded in white cloth.

The next morning, Steven wakes up in his bed. He runs to work, trying to get there before anyone can see the security tapes of what happened with the jackal last night. He insists to the security guard there was a jackal chasing him but only Steven can be seen on the tape. When he leaves the bathroom it is destroyed. He’s called into a meeting with one of his bosses which suggests he see a psychiatric doctor. The man tells Steven that he no longer has his job. Ashamed and embarrassed, Steven hands over his nametag and heads home.

He decides he needs to use the keys he found to find the storage locker that the keys unlock and prove to himself he’s not “gone mad”.

a/n: i felt so bad writing this why is everyone so mean to steven

chapter 3 out now click here

[slimshaedy92]

We need to talk about The Great Gatsby (2013)

We don't have to, but I just watched it, and I want to.

It's been a long time since I watched this movie, and I am a very different person than I was in 2013. At that time, I was a Leonardo DiCaprio stan from the Man in the Iron Mask days and I hated Daisy for not choosing Gatsby over her ain't shit husband.

I owe her an apology, and also Nick is gay and in love with Gatsby.

Nick

Real talk that's me with any crush I've ever had.

Nick is just a guy. Poor, wants to be a writer, happens to have rich family he can hang around with and just kind of watch in silent awe at just how rich they are. Loves Daisy, doesn't understand why she wants her daughter to be "a little fool" etc. Then he meets Gatsby, after partaking in the mountains of gossip to be had about him with Jordan (lesbian? I think so). When he meets Gatsby, it's pretty much one of the top ten movie scenes of my life. Perfect score, perfect cinematography, over the top visuals, and Leo being as charming as anyone could possibly be in the year of galaxy leggings and mustache finger tattoos.

Nick instantly falls in love. With that entrance, I would have too.

How do we know he's gay?

Uh, how many people tried to set him up with women?

Daisy

TOM

The sheer distance he's trying to put between himself and Myrtle's sister? Yes they kiss later but this man is plastered by that point.

Also this feels significant I just can't...put my finger on how.

Anyway, Nick meets Gatsby and

This is the face of someone who has just had an awakening and doesn't know what to do about it.

Throughout the rest of the movie, his motivations are influenced by his rose-colored feelings for Gatsby.

Daisy

One of the first things Daisy does when she sees Nick again is tell him about her daughter's birth, and in that story, she gives a lot of context for her emotional state at the time.

Tom wasn't there, "Tom was God knows where *she glances towards Tom* with God knows who" and when the nurse told her it was a girl, she cried and hoped "she'll be a beautiful little fool. That's the best thing a girl can be in this world."

Daisy isn't stupid. She knows what Tom has been doing and will continue to do, but even as a girl from a relatively wealthy family, she's been told what to do her entire life, and as a woman pre-1974, she can't even get a credit card on her own.

Into her life, here comes this charming soldier who sweeps her off her feet in the greenhouse before he's shipped off to war. Presumably she doesn't hear from him and being a debutante pre-modern age, she's expected to marry and do it quick. Tom shows up, she falls in love, and then on her wedding day she hears from Gatsby and immediately wants to call off the wedding. She was willing to stop everything for him when he told her "Wait for me to make something of myself". Stupid thing to ask someone to do, but she was willing to do it at first. Since she wouldn't show anyone the letter, the bridal party probably wore her down and she got married because that was the expected flow of things.

When Daisy and Gatsby see each other again, sparks fly, etc etc, they fall back in love. She does, anyway. There's some very different stuff happening in his mind, but we'll get to that. Daisy eventually says, "I wish we could just run away," and Gatsby gets this weird look on his face and says "Run away? No. Daisy darling, that wouldn't be respectable."

Sir.

Let's unpack that real quick because it's an indicator of things to come.

Daisy has found this guy that she pined for secretly for years and is willing to drop her whole life (theoretically- really doing it is a lot scarier) and run off with him, but Gatsby says what? No. No way. We have to keep up a good image. Image is extremely important to Gatsby and he'll keep reminding us of that.

Gatsby

Ahem.

This man is a walking red flag. We start with his origin story which of course he only shares with Nick (have you ever been in love with your bestie and felt super special when they confided something in you and you alone?) where he's born dirt poor in North Dakota and as soon as he has enough brain cells to rub together, he rejects his parents because no way someone as important as him could be born into this life. The delusions start early.

Later, he meets Captain Cody and, seeing an opportunity to climb the social ladder, becomes his sailing son hoping that when he dies, he'll inherit Cody's money and finally be a rich guy. As Nick later tells this, he says that Gatsby "showed ambition" and was "robbed of his inheritance by Cody's FAMILY".

The rose-colored glasses are thick.

When he meets Daisy, sure yeah falls in love, when he first kisses her he's like ope we're married now in my heart. Leaves to the army but not before realizing that if he's gonna be a social climber, he's gonna have to do it alone. Can't marry her yet. Instead, he sends her a letter expecting her to wait for him for an undisclosed amount of time until he can make some money.

She, a southern debutante in the "prime" of her life (can't become a 21 year old spinster, can we?) is expected to just. Sit around without telling her family she's waiting on a poor boy that's definitely NOT from one of the "illustrious families" they saw at her debut, but specifically "new money" which no one likes. Tom ticked all the boxes and he was there at the time. Gatsby just missed his chance.

Before asking Nick to arrange the meetup between him and Daisy, Gatsby lists off a clearly false life story to Nick as well as parading his connections and awards so that Nick "approves" of him enough to sit him down with Daisy. He thinks that his status, wealth, and great life story matter to this guy who has....none of that. When they do meet for tea, Gatsby has AN ENTIRE FLASH MOB to completely makeover this cottage that Nick is literally just renting in order to make an impression so insane that Daisy is momentarily worried that her cousin really did fall in love with her.

When Nick, Daisy, and Gatsby hang out at Gatsby's place for the day, Gatsby makes a show out of everything he's built (for her, you shout- yes I hear you but like buddy you're coming off a little strong) from the overly complicated orange juice machine "I like anything modern" he says *eye roll* to the camera at the beach. As Daisy dances in the hall of his mind-bogglingly huge house, Gatsby says

Like she's a set piece or an accessory- which she is! Gatsby has a grand image planned for his life and Daisy is just a part of the set- a doll in the dollhouse that he can wave in front of everyone to show how respectable he is.

The Hotel Room

I hate this scene because it's literally a dick-measuring contest between two men arguing over who Daisy actually loves. The entire thing is uncomfortable and you can see that Daisy is about to implode from stress. She's been told what to do her entire life and mostly done it to avoid conflict. Now Gatsby is asking her to make a DIRECT CONFLICT.

The face of a gay that knows shit is about to go DOWN

Gatsby immediately goes to Daisy's side, grabs her hand, and starts FLAUNTING their relationship in front of a big ol' beast of a man.

"She never loved you. You see, she loves me," this big-britches boy says before completely divulging their entire love story to a man that does not want to hear it in front of Daisy who PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE IT.

Tom starts to argue back ABOUT DAISY'S FEELINGS with Daisy right there. "Nah Daisy loved me when she married me and she loves me now-" "No, no, I'm sorry Mr. Buchanan, no" DAISY IS PHYSICALLY RIGHT THERE Y'ALL maybe let her talk I don't know.

"She DOES love me and what's more I love Daisy too. Now once in awhile I go off on a spree, but I always come back." When he says "I love Daisy too", you see a small change in her eyes. Hope. She did love this guy when they got married and it hurts every time he cheats so this is the face of someone that's falling for the sudden love-bombing of an abusive husband.

When Tom says oh I always come back, she changes her tone only into a victim that's finally got enough support and anger to say how she feels. She lays out some dirty laundry as SHE SHOULD.

Her anger rises and she runs to the window to get some air because holy shit she's EXPRESSING HER ANGER and it's SCARY but she needs to process this. Instead of letting her feel her feelings, Gatsby is already past this to where she proclaims her undying love and they move into his castle together.

"That's all over" no it's not- it's literally happening right now. "Tell him you never loved him and this will be wiped out forever."

That's what Gatsby wants- it's not what she wants. She has a whole kid that did happen, and she has happy memories that DID happen. He doesn't care about that. When she tries to do what Gatsby wanted, Tom pushes back by listing specific memories of him treating her at least marginally well, which hurts her because she did love him and probably still does. "I love you now, isn't that enough? I loved him, but I loved you, too." NO. He almost snaps at the "too" because how could the great Jay Gatsby be second to anyone in the heart of a woman he was (spiritually) married to while he climbed the social ladder?

There's more to talk about, but let's just look in at the end real quick.

Gatsby dies thinking Daisy was going to call. Honestly, probably the best thing that could have happened. How would he have handled her rejecting him or running from him after the violence he showed with Tom? Nick tells him "you're worth the whole lot of them together" which he objectively is NOT considering that his real goal was image and he did whatever it took to get that. At his funeral, Nick sits with him and hates everyone else for not being there, especially Daisy. "From Daisy? Not even a flower" he says, when she literally can't even get a credit card on her own. He calls her (and Tom and Jordan) uncaring people that wreck everything, but Daisy was afraid. She'd been told what to do and who to be her entire life in a world that (unless you're a celebrity like Jordan or the movie stars at Gatsby's parties) expects you to submit to a man in some way. She was pressured into probably every decision she ever made in her life, and when Tom showed her kindness after the car accident, the deal was sealed. He offered comfort, the life she knew, her daughter, and safety. Gatsby was the only one that showed potential for physical abuse and that frightened her more than the emotional neglect she'd become used to.

Also Nick is gay and was madly in love with an idealized version of Gatsby because while this man tried to bully his cousin into being his trophy wife, Nick only said "damn that man can really hope."

Anyway.

[thesimbiote]

I need to rant, because I just had a really shitty experience at work. So for context, I occasionally work at several estate sale companies. I take money and help customers with issues. If I can't help them, I direct them to someone who can.

Well, there was this lady today at this sale I was working. She was obviously having a bad day. Fine, we all do sometimes. I will never judge someone for having an off day. She also was in a tough spot with money. She had money to spend, but it was limited. Again, that is perfectly fine. I too am poor. I have to limit what I spend too sometimes. I've put stuff back because I couldn't afford it at the time. I get it. I can relate.

So, she came up with her items to pay. Total comes to $4 dollars. She then proceeds to say "the lady said she would give me a deal on this *points to $2 item*". Okay, I ask what the deal was. She refused to answer, just kept saying, "the lady said." Okay, red flag for me. I've dealt in the past working with other companies with people trying to steal like this, saying "well, the other person said" when indeed the other person did not say that. I ask, "Ma'am, who said this?" She then proceeds to look me in the eyes and say, "The lady with the braid". Mind you, there are three people working, none of us having a braid. I say, "No one working here has a braid, Ma'am". "Well, it was a lady with a braid!" Now she's starting to raise her voice. Another worker has already walked up and is trying to help me de-escalate things. Nothing is working. This lady is getting more and more emotional.

She then says, "She said I could have it for $2.50." I call that out. My boss, the only other person she can be referring to, would not have agreed to a $4 sale being priced down to $2.50. Now me saying that sets off something inside of her. I was legitimately ready to refuse the sale at this point. She kept going on about how she was poor and "the lady with the braid" said she could get a deal. Her tone and word choice felt like she was calling me elitist without saying the word outright.

She is so emotional at this point I direct her to my boss. She yells at me as she storms off. Well, while I was helping another customer, apparently she was telling my boss I was calling her a liar and was so rude. I hear some of the accusations as they proceed to walk back towards me. My boss is backing me up the whole way, saying there was no way I could be rude. The lady proceeds to walk up to me and say "You called me a liar!" I responded, albeit a bit thrown off to be accused of that, simply with, "I never said that Ma'am".

Apparently the lady she had talked to was my boss, a woman with no braid. She legitimately looked at me and said, "Obviously I could get that *gesturing to my boss's hair* confused with a braid!" My boss has slightly wavy hair down. Not in a ponytail, down. I truly don't know how you can get it confused with a braid unless you are seriously blind, that's how obviously not-a-braid it was.

My boss is now trying to also de-escalate the situation. So now there's three of us trying to calm this lady down. My boss says she can have $4 purchase for $3.50, essentially marking down the $2 item to $1.50. That makes more sense to me; a lot more sense than a $2 item being marked down to $0.50. I go to take her money at she is still accusing me of calling her a liar. I continue to tell her I never called her a liar and simply said she -my boss- would never have allowed a $4 purchase marked down to $2.50.

She finally gives me 3 singles, okay. Good. Perfect. She proceeds to give me a quarter. Great. We are almost done with this and she can leave me the ef alone, I think. Then she gives me a nickel and gets ready to go. Look, I like this job. I need this job. I can't let people just walk away and not pay properly. I point out in the calmest, most customer service-y voice I can muster at this point, that she gave me a nickel, not a quarter. The yelling returns. "I'm sorry! It's hard to see money through all these tears!" She's crying now. I can't tell you if they are real or not. I legitimately don't care. I just don't need her yelling at me. She quickly picks up the nickel and throws a quarter on the table, almost like she expected me just to take the 30-cents instead of 50-cents and was upset I called it out.

What follows is what really gets me. As she is collecting her stuff, she looks me in my eyes and say "I hope you go to..." and deliberately pauses at the end and smiles a horribly aggressive smile, obviously implying hell. "Have a happy Easter," she follows. At this point, she is being escorted out of the property and my boss is telling her she doesn't need to come back, ever. That nasty person finally leaves.

In the end, a couple of nice customers came up to me and said I was great and everything was okay. My boss told me I did nothing wrong and that the customer walked in with that attitude. I know that I couldn't have handled the situation any better with someone who obviously just wanted to start a fight. But it still bothers me. I didn't react at the time, because I didn't want to breakdown in front of a bunch of people. But now that I'm back home, I just can't get passed it. It's people like that that make me panic in social situations. I thought I was starting to get passed my social anxiety, but now I'm not so sure. I will say, typing this out did help a bit. Getting it off my chest and all.

[i-am-adlocked]

Just a small observation about my bf

In the beginning of our relationship, I was already aware of his red flag tendencies. He told me he was always angry in his heart and he shoves it down every night by getting himself black-out drunk in his room. He was reserved, quiet, and aloof.

He told me he did a lot of bad things when he was younger—how he’d get suspended a lot of times, how it’s a miracle he was never expelled, how he was so infamous that his school (a prestigious well-known school) literally made him a legend.

He was my friend first so it was all fine for me. In fact, the stories amused me because I was a bit of a rebel hiding behind the top student teacher’s pet school president persona (I was the one in control of the school “black market” and my secret identity was “WiFi” which is a name given to my alter ego because I was “the source of everything”)

But I fell in love.

And he fell in love.

All of his old friends are surprised to see him so sober and so fully aware. They’re interested to know who was the person that actually tamed this dragon?

Then they meet me. And they tell my bf “I can’t believe you’re the sane one in the relationship.” And we both say. “Yeah we can’t believe it either.”

And they asked me what made me fall in love with him despite knowing how much of a red flag he was. My friends asked me the same thing. How did I ever see this timeline where we are in the healthiest greenest flagged relationship they had ever know back then when all we knew of him was his infamy?

And I always say: “Because he’s so kind.”

And they’re like: “So are a lot of people?”

And I just reply: “You wouldn’t get it.”

Last Saturday, I was reminded of how I saw it in the very beginning.

He was contacted by a schoolmate for a Finance class exercise at midnight. And the task was so difficult that even with my help, it took us two hours before he checked that the exercise was neither graded nor in need to be submitted.

In those two hours, he had cursed himself in a way that hurts me to hear (he makes self deprecating jokes with curses and bad words all the time, but this time he really meant it). He had punched the bed so strongly that I actually got lifted from the other side of the bed because of the momentum.

And he was so irritated with stimuli that he gently told me to step further back from him because I was standing to close to him while I was looking at his laptop from behind his shoulder (I didn’t have my glasses so I couldn’t see it properly and had to stand close).

It’s been a while since I saw him this angry again.

And the thing is… Yes, I was worried and scared for him.

Because I know this hot rage anger is so small.

His real deeper pain and rage and grief is colder, quieter, darker, greater, and far from being openly destructive. Little inconveniences like this let some of that anger out into small doses and manifest itself with hot blinding destructive rage.

And it made me think.

How much pain does he really have? I’m the one who has ever been the nearest to knowing him completely. And yet, I barely know the extent of his despair.

And yet with all of that…

The pain

The suffering

The torment

…He choses to be kind.

All of his friends all agree with one thing: He can be a crazy bastard but he’s the kindest and greatest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s selfless and giving and caring and patient. He will put everyone as a priority before himself (which I am helping him unlearn). He would take care of you genuinely and with no ulterior motive. He just wants everyone he knows to be safe and well—no matter how much they hurt him.

I’ve seen him be taken advantage of. And no matter how much I tell him to walk away, he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to hurt them.

And with the one last Saturday, when we were trying to sleep and I was caressing his hair (which was the best way to make him sleepy). He asked me why I was trying to make him fall asleep faster.

I told him it’s so he can relax after being so angry.

And he asked me: “Do you know why I’m angry?”

And I said: “You took so much effort, stressed out so much, worked hard for your groupmates… for nothing.”

And he said: “No, it’s because this anger could have been avoided if I checked the school app first. I tortured myself unnecessarily.”

And after a while I was just quiet.

Then he turned to face me in the bed, cuddled me, hugged me, squeezed me gently, kissed my forehead, and started tapping my shoulder in a pattern as if lulling me to sleep while he calms himself by watching YouTube shorts.

So naturally I started crying on his chest 🤣

And when he asked why I was crying, he was so kind and gentle and worried.

I said: “I just love you so damn much. You’re quite possibly the best person I have ever met in my life.”

And he said: “Then why are you crying?”

So I told him what I said above: he has a hot anger that comes out that masks his even bigger colder inferno, and yet he chose to be kind.

And he was confused. Quiet. Thinking.

And I told him: “Because despite the fact that you took the task because your groupmates sent you the excel file in your personal social media account, that your groupmates called you in an ungodly hour, made you do an impossible task in a Finance class that not even I, a finance scholar graduate, or even Google (yes we searched everywhere) can help, that your groupmates saw your professor’s post first and didn’t bother to check the nature of the exercise… You blame yourself for your anger instead of them. And that right now, you’re so angry that you cannot sleep so you try to lull me to sleep because you care about me instead of yourself.”

His answer was squeezing me and kissing my forehead.

He’s not a man of words but his even breathing as he slept 5 minutes later let me know that I had considerably made him feel so much better and relaxed.

And the next morning, there was no hint of his anger from the night before.

Every day I am just reminded of why I love him.

[sineala]

Another little plot bunny that wont leave me alone until I speak to a professional about it: (this ramble mentions abusive relationships/consent issues/alcoholism/!)

I am in love with how you write Steve and Tony and I always will be- I especially love the complex nature with which you approach Tony's awful exes with Steve angsting in the background cause Tony is so happy and he deserves love but every little thing that this person is doing isnt quite right in some way and puts Tony down or is damaging and am I the only one who sees it? Am I making things up because I'm jealous? I'm a terrible friend.

Like 'Mercy in You' is incredible because Steve is into kink and Tony has no idea until Steve helps him out after a shitty dom leaves him in pieces. And another fic by you that i cant recall the title of but it involves Tony and Whitney (I think) involving Steve in their relationship until Steve can hear them through their shared bedroom wall and she is seriously hurting Tony and Steve is so unsure about if hes overstepping his boundaries or not but he knows the difference between pain Tony is enjoying and pain that is seriously hurting him.

So when Tony and this Bad Partner are being all relationshippy and in-love and Steve is seeing all these red flags that he cant quite put his finger on. But then when Steve starts to notice the d/s threads within their relationship he gets even more worried (and agonized because oh god Roger's that's their *intimate* details of their relationship you cant be poking your nose in there)

This is all a very long winded way to describe this scene (whoops pun) in my head where Tony and The Partner come back from a date and Steve was eating something (and pining) and now is trapped in the kitchen because they've settled on the couch and now he cant walk through the living room because they're there and obviously canoodling and the longer he stays here the more awkward it's going to be. This is a nightmare what does he do? (Especially if he's already maybe tried to mention things to Tony and Tony didn't take it so well)

Then he hears Tony trying to wind things down, maybe he's tired, or got work to do, or got injured in battle lately, or just isnt in the mood. And steve is rejoicing - thank god I can wait till they've moved.

Until he hears The Partner getting aggravated or guilt tripping Tony or trying to convince him to do a scene cause "that'll chill you out Tony". Insisting he get on his knees or the like. And he can hear Tony trying to converse his way out of it (like a respectful human being) but The Partner is having none of it and is getting pushier and nastier, saying things along the lines of if Tony had a drink with them at dinner (or ever) then he wouldn't be so boring/a tease/hard work. (We all know how insecure Tony can be- and that's even without the hints about how maybe certain parts of his anatomy are a bit dicey these days)

Cue Steve seeing red and charging through to bodily rip The Partner off of Tony growling "I think he said no, don't you?" And only refraining from throwing them out of the window out of respect for Tony's home and also Captain America isnt supposed to condone murder.

I think you have a special way of writing these things so that Tony is Suffering but he's not the 2 dimensional damsel in distress character that is incredible. And I'm sorry for rambling on like this and pestering you again.

I just want to say that I did not even know Tumblr asks could be this long. Thank you for sharing your idea, though!

I am glad you liked Mercy In You so much -- it is one of my more popular fics, I think, and I have been very happy with it as an expression of hurt/comfort. I know a couple people who have written and/or are writing remixes of the basic premise so I think there is something in the idea that touches people right in the id. I mean, it worked for me, clearly -- posting a fic like that is always a fun exercise in "how many other people share my taste in idfic?"

However, I cannot take credit for the story where Steve ends up involved in Whitney and Tony's unsafe kinky relationship -- that's Very Good Bad Thing by @isozyme. It is also one of my favorites of Iso's. I did not write it, though! But I see why you might think that because while Iso was still writing Steve/Tony somehow we ended up with a lot of fic that's somehow in dialogue with each other. (I wrote the one that was Steve being suspicious of Tony/Ty.)

(Also if you are interested in badwrong Tony/Whitney I highly recommend the Whitney episode of the 1994 Iron Man cartoon which heavily implies that Whitney's interest in Tony is... unwelcome... in very particular ways that I definitely wasn't expecting to find in a Saturday morning children's cartoon.)

The only fic I have that comes near a lot of the themes you're describing is the one Tony/Whitney non-con fic that I STILL haven't posted because it's 150,000 words and I hate editing and somehow I have ended up starting two WIPs that are currently both 50,000 words each in the past six months instead of editing this fic because that's how much I hate editing fic.

Anyway, that particular fic is going to be... interesting... if I ever post it, because among other things it's basically the Dead Dove version of the Protective Steve trope, in which Steve's method of dealing with these massively traumatic experiences (Steve also incurs a fair amount of trauma himself) involves being very protective of Tony and is... definitely not good, and since Steve is the kind of character who absolutely refuses to acknowledge that he is not doing well, especially when Tony is doing very, very badly -- well, it takes Tony a while to figure out exactly how much worse Steve is than he's letting on.

Your scene does sound very interesting, though! I think fic about other characters -- especially Steve -- finding out about Tony's terrible relationships is always fun, because Tony keeps dating people who are bad for him and even though they don't all try to kill him, they are often not great. And yet the only one he seems willing to acknowledge as a bad idea is Sunset Bain (and then only not when Dan Slott is writing them). I don't know what was so different about that one that he understood it was bad.

[foxymoxynoona]

Oh my god hi foxy sooo I just finished MM chapter 4 and well what can I say this is going to make me sound a little crazy but Sasha is so much better than me? I would’ve pulled a Beyoncé in Hold up, a Taylor Swift in Blank Space. In the tattoo shop. Make Naoko and JK be my number one priority. That is, in terms of hiding their bodies.

When he goes “she’s controlling, she’s jealous and she doesn’t trust me”. Okay. Sir. My guy. On behalf of all the women in the world, or at least on this blog: fuck you🫶🏻

Okay no I love jk but yeah I would’ve dumped his ass without second thoughts. And NO not because “they were on a break!!” (Sorry I rewatched friends recently lol) but you’ve been in this relationship for quite a while now, made mistakes, gone through hell and back AND STILL YOU PULL THIS BULLSHIT? Nah ah, not on my watch. I’m so happy he has more emotionally mature friends that make him realize how much of a fucking red flag he is sometimes. When he goes “she was a bitch first!!” Ugh… my boy. I honestly get his point of view. He has always felt babied and like he couldn’t make one decision on his own, so when even this grown up decision has opposition he probably feels so mad. But, in all honesty: you were lucky she was not ACTUALLY a bitch☠️. could’ve gone a lot worse. Broken some noses and shit.

I’m happy she eventually decided to be the bigger person and call him to take back what she said. “Happy” as in: jk shouldn’t be relieved, she just showed him how much more mature she is than him.

Okay now I get why 🌚 tells me I’m too attached to Sasha and that I defend her no matter what. 🤭

I’m sorry I’ve had an awful week with men that treat you like you’re shit under their shoe. JK you chose the wrong time to make be objective about this… you better run!🔪🔪🔪

🌸

One thing I find really interesting about writing Sasha is that she blows up at different times than people necessarily expect, and also that she is sometimes SO defensive and strong and other times badly in need of shelter and protection. Poor girl is building identity and emotional maturity before our very eyes, but it means we get both more explosive anger towards JK and ALSO more submissiveness in situations she might have walked away from before. Although she doesn't tend to be the one who ends relationships in her life..... 😎

I am secretly SOOOO happy when readers have a strong response and insist they wouldn't stand for bad treatment when it comes out in characters. I don't just mean here but in many of my stories. I think there's a big difference between glorifying problems or bad behavior and just showing them, and that it's a way we grow our own sense of what we will or won't stand for in our real life relationships. I definitely stayed in relationships i shouldn't have for longer than I should have, and I think it's wonderful to see strength not to do that in others. I'm not saying throw the towel in over every minor mistake, but not staying in a bad situation for whatever excuse is just such an important value lesson to learn, especially for women...

Anyway :) I'm introspective because I'm working on the next chapter LOL Always a pleasure to hear from you. Looks like you're on Michele's "gut him" team.