#correct gotham quotes

[penguinpuzzle]

Oswald: why don't you let riddler come out for a while? yknow,,,,, riddle me up

Oswald: not that you couldn't, ed

Ed: RIDDLE YOU UP?????

Ed: ozzie what does that mean

Ed: what are you guys gonna do

Oswald: ...riddle

X

[cyanide-martinifortwo]

I always think when I'm eating soup I'm missing something and it's not bread, it's enrichment- the riddler

[thecrowinacrown]

Ed: I told you not to call me that.

Oswald used to call me Edward.

Oz: ...

Oz: What? Edward?

Oz: Because it's your goddamn name, Edward.

[a-love-poet-at-heart]

People who dont want to fuck the riddler: what edward did to kristen in season 1 of gotham is harassment, abusive, and so fucked up

People who do want to fuck the riddler: kristen is a bitch and if i was in her situation i would simply accept his affections

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 271

“Grandmother is visiting,” Damian suddenly said with no warning and with his usual not-quite demanding tone. 

“Who?” Tim wasn’t the only one to startle, seeing as Bruce had practically froze, a downturn to his lips in a silent show of confusion. 

Damian scowled. “Are you deaf Drake? Grandmother is coming to Gotham to, quote, make sure I am being properly cared for.” None of them had known that Ras was with anyone actually. At least Tim was pretty sure that would have been in the files. 

“Oh?” Dick didn’t quite crouch to Damian’s height but it was a near thing. “She-” “He,” Damian corrected, interrupting him. They all exchanged a glance before Dick continued. 

“Is he coming to the Manor or…” 

Damian scoffed again, a tiny bit of a flush against his face. “No, Grandmother will most likely be staying with Akhi-”

Now wait one moment-

“YOU HAVE ANOTHER BROTHER?!” 

[writing-mlm]

jason todd x reader please 😔

The ShopKeep and the Hobbyist [J.T]

Summary: Jason's been going to this bookstore for long enough that he's developed a bit of a reputation with them. If only the cute cashier would understand he's trying to flirt but as fate would have it, one knife chase later, and maybe they're more than worker and costumer. Pairing: Jason Todd x Male!Reader WC: 7.3k TW: use of fag but its a quote

Jason traveled out of Gotham once a week, always on a Sunday, always to the same location for three entire hours. Everyone knew that Sunday from noon to four— accounting for traffic and eating out that might happen, that Jason was absolutely unavailable. Unless you physically went to track him down. 

But that’s yet to happen. 

It’s Sunday and Jason arrived at the normal spot earlier than usual. Traffic was amazing, no accidents on the way out of Gotham, and the highway was thankfully void. He parked his bike in his normal spot, right in front of the store, and lifted the visor to the helmet before heading inside. 

The Open Book had always welcomed Jason, even when the shop was closed in the middle of a blizzard. And he helped where he could (Wayne Enterprises always made a large monthly donation to the shop and for some odd reason, someone had gifted the shop a fake bird that is able to stop any thefts(odd)). 

“New shipment came in today,” The store owner's grandson greeted him, leaning across the counter to grab at the basket of free candies the shop offered. “Snagged this vintage-looking book collection for ya.” Ever since word that a Wayne kid visits the bookshop, sales have grown so it’s hard keeping certain items in stock. Especially the fancy-looking titles. 

“Do tell,” He grabs a bite-sized chocolate and rips the packet open while you set your lollipop wrapper into your apron pocket before ducking under the counter. 

   “Shits heavy,” You grunt, slamming the box onto the table and read the label. “Uhh, ‘William Shakespeare, Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies. Published According to the True Originall Copies, 1623.’ Original is spelled wrong, though,” You look up at him and pause at his wide-eyed, clearly shocked expression. 

“Shakespeare fan?” You ask, opening the flap to the box. “There’s a bunch of them in here. I think this was someone’s collection.” 

“Do you know how much it’s worth?” Jason laughs, peering into the box, and then whistles. 

   “Probably a hundred at the most,” You shrug and he slaps the table with a loud Ha! that makes you look at him, crossing his arms. “Fifty?” 

“Try nine mil,” The lollipop falls from your mouth as you look from Jason to the book collection. 

   “For all of it?” You gape. 

   “For the top book,” He corrects. “Thank god you snagged it before someone who cared did.” 

“Yeah,” You sigh, staring at the book and taking in all of the details. That’s more than you’ll ever make in a lifetime. “What should I do? Do you want it?”

“Want it like I need air,” He admits, handing you another lollipop. “But you should probably auction it, get a stack and whatnot.”

“Grams would get pissed,” You shake your head and slide the box towards him. “Believes books should be read, not stored as an artifact, yknow? Think she marked this box as a hundred, want me to ring it up?” He looks at you and takes his helmet off so you can fully see his are you stupid? look that’s plastered on his face. 

   “(Y/n),” Jason slides the box back. “This is worth more than every single book in here!” And as much as he pained Jason to say that, he knew it was true. With over two entire floors filled with books, they were but a drop in the bucket compared to that singular box sitting between the two of you. 

“It’s just paper and ink,” You shrug, staring at the box. “Besides, she’d get mad if I did and I can’t exactly hide nine million dollars!” Sighing through his nose, he agrees to buy the box and has you set it aside while he goes about shopping.

“You’re staring,” Someone tells him as they walk past and his head spins around to see who it is. It’s one of your younger sisters, around twelve or thirteen, if he remembers right. 

   “Wasn’t,” He tells her and picks up a book. “I was looking at this book!” She turns back to him and raises her eyebrows at the title before grinning. 

   “Didn’t take you as an Ice Breaker fan,” She chides and walks away while Jason stares at the book. It could’ve been basically any other book. Putting the book back, Jason returns to his actual book shopping which only takes ten or so minutes. He knows his bag is going to be heavy with the Shakeseapre books so he can’t get too many other books this week. 

“Light load,” You comment, scanning the books. “You bought this one a month ago, too.” You note, holding off on scanning A Good Girls Guide to Murder. 

   “My sister wants to read it,” He explains, flipping through the pages. “And she likes to dogear pages.” Cringing, you scan the book and read him his total before leaning against the counter. It’s a large enough counter that most of your body can rest against it while he pays while you use your phone to order some lunch. 

“That place sucks ass,” Jason comments as he’s putting his card away. You roll your eyes and look up at him. 

   “I’m hungry as shit and there’s no good places around within a reasonable price, this place has decent grilled cheeses.” You justify and he finishes paying. 

   “What would you have gotten?” He muses, leaning against the counter so the two of you are face to face. Staring at the sad picture of a grilled cheese you huff. 

“Five guys,” You admit, looking back at him. He nods, silently urging you to continue while looking you up and down, his eyes slowly moving. You also don’t notice it or the small smile on his face when you don’t move away from him. “Strawberry milkshake and grilled cheeseburger.” You finished. 

   “No fries?” He asks and you shake your head. 

   “I don’t really eat fries from there,” You admit, fiddling with the skin around your nails. 

“Sounds good,” He tilts his head a bit, grinning so his canines are showing. He watches as your eyes dip once and then twice to his lips before they finally stay on his face. 

   “It’s fucking good. An arm and a leg, but still,” Standing up, you groan and stretch. He stands up too and puts on his helmet. You watch and wait for him to dip his head down before giving his head two pats. For good luck, of course. 

When he leaves, you return to your seat and look over the shop. There’s a dozen or so people inside, some people who are clearly not there for books as they’re recording those random interviews with the tiny microphones and such. You should really stop them, maybe put up a sign or something. But they’re leaving anyway. So it doesn’t really matter. 

“Did you kiss?” Your sister asks, walking over to grab one of the candies.  

   “Girl,” Your face scrunches and she tosses the wrapper at you but it falls short. 

    “Just saying, seemed awfully close.” She shrugs. “I would’ve made a move on him a long time ago.”

“You’re ten.” Huffing, she huffs back and puts her hands on her hips. 

   “Nineteen,” She corrects. Making a talking motion with your hand, she smacks it away and throws a fireball candy at you. “That’s why you’re forty and a virgin!” 

“Neither of those are true,” You stress, tossing the candy back into the bowl. “And didn’t you just get dumped by some loser who said he’d absolutely eat a turducken covered in chocolate?” She rolls her eyes and walks behind the counter to sign into work. 

   “I dumped him,” She corrects. “Unlike your failed relationship with the guy who wanted you to pretend to be a woman.” 

“Too low,” You sigh, shaking your head. “Too low.” 

—

With your lunch break in full swing, you’re upstairs in the break room watching some crappy straight-to-DVD movie your father had bought years back while eating the very sad grilled cheese when the door opens. Half expecting it to be another family member, you don’t look away from the TV and give a small hey but when no one replies you look towards the door and hum surprised to see Jason there. Even more so on who let him in 

“Missed me?” You grin, watching as he closes the door behind him and rolls his eyes. 

   “Little delivery,” He corrects and motions for you to turn back to the movie. You do, albeit a bit hesitant to do so, but you try not to look back when you hear him getting closer. “Close your eyes, too.” He adds when you look as far back as you can without turning your head. Groaning, you cover your eyes with your hand just to prove you’re not peeking and hear him set something down on the spot next to you. 

“See you next week!” He pats your back before snatching the half-eaten grilled cheese from your hand and you take it as a sign you can open your eyes. You’re not even upset he’s eating your lunch, it wasn’t good. Looking at what he had set down, you see the familiar white and red bag and crack a smile. 

   “You got me Five Guys?” Your head whips to the door but it’s already shutting and you can hear his heavy boots quickly running down the stairs. Turning back to the bag, you pull your phone out and scroll to find his contact. 

Thank you

we feast tonight 

The two of you don’t text much, mostly if he had forgotten something in the shop or given him a heads-up that the bookstore was closed for the day. Hell, his contact name is still Jason (bookstore fav). But he reads it immediately and thumbs up the last text. 

This grilled cheese sucks by the way

It feels like plastic

Probably is lol

While Jason is very much a regular at the shop, you don’t really remember when he first started to frequent the shop. Just that one Sunday, you had seen the time and noticed he was late to the shop. He’d come in almost three hours later than he normally did and watched as you sighed, tossing his favorite candy at him before ushering him to the counter. He listened as you told him that next time he is late he needs to text or you’d send out an amber alert yourself. 

He truly hadn’t thought anyone had noticed the change in his routine. Especially someone he only saw once a week. It had been a really shitty night for him and an ever-shitter morning, feeling like a ghost wandering through Gotham, living in a life he never should have. 

He apologized with a grin and gave you his number. He also spent a little extra time in the shop, loving the familiar smell around him. He loves the bookstore more than he loves his guns, more than he loves most things really. It’s the only normal thing in his life and truly, Jason doesn’t know what he’d do without it. Without you, honestly. He’s only ever there when you are and a place is only as welcoming as the people inhabiting it. 

Which is why he’d picked up the 2 am phone call so fast. 

“Jason?” You whisper shout into the phone. He can hear some harsh wind and some distant shouts in the background, but it took much less than that for him to abandon his patrol and start over to you. “Shit— I’m sorry but I don’t know who else to call.” You add, the clarity hitting that during an emergency you called the guy who lived nearly half an hour away on a good day.

   “It’s okay, doll,” He replies and you dare to glance behind you. Maybe they’d given up by now, but no. “What’s wrong?” He asks as you round a corner. “Where are you?” He quickly adds and you glance at the road signs. 

“Uhh, heading towards Second Ave and Belcher Street. My friend's boyfriend thinks she’s cheating with me and him and his friends are chasing me,” You explain.

   “Guns?” He asks, already leaving the Gotham border. 

   “No,” You huff, the strain of running heavy on your chest. “Just knives.” 

That’s good, he tells himself. Distance is what you should be focusing on. But he knows that the regular person cannot run for nearly as long as he can and realistically, you’re bound to get tired much sooner than multiple people. 

   “Is there a crowd nearby?” You can hear some muffling to his voice but that’s honestly the least of your issues. “Maybe a club or hospital.” He adds when you don’t respond fast enough. 

   “No,” You strain. “Just apartments and shit. God, fuck! Do you think I should climb the fire escape?” There are several ahead of you, and one of them is low enough for you to grab. 

“Can you?” He asks. 

   “Yeah— yeah,” Jumping up, you pull yourself up and start climbing up to the roof. “Shit, I’m really high up,” You pant, daring to look over the edge and see the guys climbing up. “They’re climbing up,” You tell him, quickly backing away and trying to find an exit. What type of roof doesn’t have a fucking exit? 

“I’ve seen people jump from roof to roof,” You're thinking out loud at this point, trying to find some type of solution to your stupid idea. “Can’t be that hard, right?”

“Depends on the distance,” He truthfully tells you and you look at the two nearby roofs. 

   “Definitely too far. I’m fucked.” 

“Still on Second and Blecher?” He asks and you mutter a yeah when you see them reach the roof. 

   “They’re up,” You mumble. “I could jump and live, yeah?” Glancing to your left, you see a dumpster and reassure yourself that you’d be fine. 

   “Do you think you can come back down the fire escape?” He asks. “Is there one behind the building?” Looking behind you, you let out a loud sigh.    

“Yeah— yes, heading down.” Rushing down as fast as you can, you reach the ground as they’re in the middle and run back into the main road. 

“Head back down the way you came,” Jason instructs. He’s only five minutes away at this point, maybe three if he tries hard enough. He just needs you to buy five more minutes. 

   “Okay,” 

Running for what felt like an eternity, your legs are burning and your chest is tight. Maybe that one time you lied during your physical exam was coming back to bite you. 

But they’re still chasing you and Jason is still guiding you. You’re sure you’re about to pass out when a motorcycle drifts in front of you. 

“Red Hood?” You gape, panting. The fuck? 

   “Come on,” You hear him and Jason say. You’ll worry about that once you’re away from those absolute track-and-field freaks chasing you. Getting on the motorcycle, he holds your thigh with one hand before pulling off. 

The ride is silent as you’re catching your breath and just making sure you’re okay in general. Aside from the insane burn in your calves, you’re fine. The ride does a lot to calm you down, by the time he reaches the shop your head is pressed to his back and you’re holding him not as tight as you were before. 

“I don’t know your address,” He admits and you laugh into his back. After all that happened it’s a little humorous that your biggest issue is Jason getting your address. You give it to him and it takes him a second but he has the route mapped out before he pulls back onto the street. 

“I’m staying the night.” He tells you as you get off of the bike. You don’t protest, not in the slightest. You’re far too tired to do so anyway. Instead, you wave him over and head upstairs. He tries to hide his helmet from the camera view but you tell him they don’t work. 

“This guy got robbed two days ago; whole building found out the cameras are fake,” You explain while leaning against the elevator wall.

   “And you feel safe?” He incredulously asks, looking you over. Even buildings in Gotham have working cameras.  

    “I have a gun,” You shrug while he looks at you with more of an analyzing gaze, a little surprised you’d have a gun. “And no valuables. My electronics are all secondhand for that exact reason.”

“So, steal the couch?” He jokes. 

   “If it can fit through the door, it’s yours!” Patting his arm, you exit the elevator and fish out your keys. Thankfully you hadn’t dropped them during the chase. 

“What happened?” He asks as soon as you close and double lock the door. Looking at him, you drop your phone and keys onto the kitchen island before heading back to the door. 

   “My friend, Gina,” You start with a sigh, kicking your shoes off. “She used to be my beard in high school. But we never officially broke up, I guess because she posted a story saying happy six-year anniversary. With a bunch of pictures of us together. Her boyfriend saw and he’s always been…” Rolling your hand, you open your closet and grab a new outfit. “He thinks I’m lying ‘bout being gay. Because I’m too… I dunno what he thinks. But he says I don’t look gay and he’s never seen me with a guy before.” You explain with a huff. “Not my fault I’ve been single for two years, y'know. I got school and work and whatever!” Slamming the closet shut, you sigh and apologize. 

“I’m gonna take a shower, feel free to snoop and prod. And take the boots off, I just moped.” 

“Course,” He doesn’t move an inch as he unties his boots and walks to the shoe rack to set them down. You thank him and head into the bathroom. 

“If you gotta piss or shit, go ahead. I got a curtain and a strong scent blaster plugged in.” You tell him at the doorway to the bathroom. 

  “Noted.” He laughs but it drops once the door closes. 

He finds himself making sure the windows are locked and the curtains are properly drawn. He grabs his phone and saves your address into his personal map before he goes to check to see what type of security measures you have. And there’s not many, just a gun that’s badly hidden in your bedside table and the extra lock on the door. 

But there’s not much to the apartment, the decor is extremely minimal but he remembers you talking about saving to buy a house in the countryside. Or at least outside of a city. Own land and all that. 

He can’t decide if that’s good or not, there’s nothing to steal for sure, but it’s also really sad. There’s no personal touch to your apartment, it reminds him of one of his safe houses. 

He settles himself into the couch once he’s checked over everything, listening to the sounds of the shower and eventually, he hears the shower turn off. 

When you return to the living room in a pair of shorts, you’re a little surprised that Jason is still there. 

“Bruce Wayne as Batman makes a lotta sense,” Opening the fridge, you pull out two water bottles before setting them on the counter. 

“(Y/n),” Jason stops that conversation. “You should file a police report.”

“Fuck is that gonna do?” You huff, closing the fridge and opening the freezer to grab a popsicle. “Gina will hate me, cops will just forget to file it, and then I get harassed.” 

“They tried to kill you,” He stresses, blocking you from moving away from the fridge. You stare at him, a little upset that he’s caring so much. You feel bad for even calling him and sending him out of his way. And now he’s staying for who knows how long. Not to mention now you know his biggest secret— a family secret at that, one that you can tell one person, and suddenly the whole world knows. 

   “Happens every day,” You shrug but honestly, yeah, that shit scared you. His face drops and he snatches the popsicle from your hand before tossing it on the counter to your left. 

“No. Not to you. Not to most people. So what if Gina hates you afterward? Do you want a friend that’s known you since high school who would rather side with her crazy boyfriend?” 

“Of course not!” You groan. “But it’s Gina. She’s always been there and— and this is a one-time thing,”

“You sound ridiculous,” He tells you as he walks out of the small kitchen and into the living room. “Trying to kill someone isn’t a fucking one-off. It’s a crime, a legit crime. Has Gina even checked if you’re okay?” He points to the phone that’s still on the counter; the same phone he knows for a fact hasn’t buzzed once. 

   “No.” There's no need to check your phone, you already know there’s nothing from her. She’d never text you first. He nods as if to say there’s your answer. 

“Look, Jason. It was scary as fuck,” You admit. “But I’m good. And I thank you, but you should go home. I just…” Looking off to the wall. “I don’t know why I called you, I feel like shit for dragging you away from your home.”

“I was spending my night watching Harley and Ivy dry hump in front of a newly exploded power plant. You didn’t take me away from shit.” He blinks before heading to the couch. “Besides, it’s too late to drive back. I’m beat,”

“You’re lying,” You deadpan, tossing a water bottle between your hands. 

   “Am I?” He fake yawns, leaning back on the couch. “Can I get a blanket?” Clearly, he’s not going to leave, and it would be bad as a host to not make him comfortable. Asshole. 

   “Fine,” He grins as you walk away. 

“Oh and Jason, Gram’s told me about the payment plan you set up. Taking advantage of a woman who can’t speak English is rude. She thinks you’re paying five dollars a week for some back dues you owe.” It was actually five hundred thousand dollars a week, which was absurd but hey, if he insists. 

   “It’s just nine million,” He calls back. “Not even my money and B won’t notice it’s gone.” 

Just nine million, you repeat to yourself as you find a suitable blanket. It’s one of those thick fur blankets with a tiger on the front. 

“The couch is a pull-out, by the way.” Heading back into the living room, you tuck the blanket under your arm. “I’ve used it like once. It’s pretty comfortable unless you want the bed.” You add, setting the blanket on the edge of the couch. There’s no coffee table, you don’t see a reason for one. 

   “I can sleep on gravel, doll. I’m fine, thank you.” For some reason, his eyes are having a hard time staying on your face but you’re busy walking back into the kitchen to notice. 

“If you’re hungry make anything, I’m going grocery shopping in two days anyway.” Tossing the popsicle back into the freezer, you lean against the counter and watch him. It’s a little staring contest you have going on. His eyelashes are nice, real pretty boy-esque. 

The silence and tension in the apartment is broken by four rapid knocks to the front door followed by a worried: “(Y/n)?”

“Gina,” You tell Jason as he’s already off of the couch and halfway to the front door by the time you stand up straight. When you walk up behind him you pause, when did he have time to grab a gun? But he’s looking through the peephole before looking back to you and holding up two fingers. You almost laugh, this isn’t some military operation; just a… friend? at your door. 

“Please,” Gina says through the door. “We just— K wants to apologize,” Huffing, you look at Jason who’s standing behind the door, one hand on the top lock. He truly doesn’t want to unlock it, but it’s your apartment. Your call. 

   “Says who?” K snaps, his voice a lot more muffled than hers is. 

   “You’re going to fucking apologize.” She snaps right back. 

He raises an eyebrow and you nod to the door against your better judgment. He unlocks the door and stands in front of them, really standing over them with his damn height, the arm holding the gun hidden behind the door. You can basically hear Gina pause when she sees him. 

“Who are you?” Gina asks, looking him up and down. 

   “A friend.” He answers simply and then looks over to you. “Your friend is here.” 

“Thanks, Jay.” You smile and usher him into your bedroom with two quick glances. “Gina,” You greet a little harshly as you stand at the door. “Kyle.” You look at him for only a second. 

   “It’s K.” He corrects. 

“Can we come in?” She asks, stepping forward. “I explained everything to K and he’s sorry.” She looks back at him and he’s just standing there with this stupid look on his face. 

   “Is he?” You ask, looking at Kyle. “Because when he was screaming: I knew you weren’t a fag; I’m gonna cut your dick off; stop running bitch; and since you wanna pretend you’re a fag come and taste our dicks he just didn’t seem real sorry.” She cringes, he hadn’t said that part through the yelling they were doing. 

“I don’t wanna lose you,” She places a hand on the door, not that you were planning on closing it just yet. “Let us in and he’ll apologize.” Sighing, you look at her and frown. Between not even texting to see if you’re okay and then coming over with the audacity to think that a fucking apology would smooth things over, you were peeved. 

   “You’re losing one of us tonight. Him or me.” She takes a step back and frowns, her eyebrows knitting as your words settle in her. But at that moment, you knew the friendship was over. It shouldn’t ever take that long for an answer like that. 

“(Y/n), he’s sorry!” She almost shouts, shouting as if you had given her this impossible task. You want to reply, you want to yell, and to get into it then and there. But it’s no use. Your neighbors are sleeping, you’re tired, and far from a mood where you want to interact with them. As such, you close the door and put the locks back on. 

She shouts some things from the other side but you’re not listening as you enter your bedroom. 

Jason was standing right next to the door, startling you. If he hadn’t been so close you wouldn’t have seen him in the darkness. 

“Is that a requirement for vigilantes?” You ask, clutching your chest in an exaggeration. “Y’all are fucking spooky,” Tossing yourself onto your bed, you stare up at him. 

“She’s still at the door,” He ignores the comment on his family business once again. Instead, his eyes trained on your front door, watching and waiting to see what their next move is going to be. You hope for their sake it’s leaving because his hand is still on the safety of his gun. 

   “Not like they can get in,” You shrug, laying flat on your back. “I never give my key to anyone and it takes a full round of bullets to break the door.” 

“You know that how?” He asks, setting his gun down on the dresser. 

   “Last year my neighbor's crazy ex tried to break in but the door didn’t budge.” 

“Of course,” His head dips back into the bedroom, watching you. “Sleep, I’ll be in the living room.” 

“Okay,” Turning your head to look at him, you grin. “If you get nightmares, the bed is free.” Patting the empty space, Jason rolls his eyes with a grin and leaves the room. “Your gun?” You call after him, staring at the handgun still on your dresser. 

   “I have two more!” He calls back. 

“How the fuck?” But he doesn’t answer. 

—

The next morning you wake up to the sound of the front door closing. It stirs you, really, but you’re lucid enough to realize that hey, either Jason treated you like a one-night stand or someone had broken in. 

Sitting up in the bed, you collect yourself for a moment and grab his gun on your way out. While you’re surely not as keen as Jason is, you like to think you’re observant enough. The door is locked again, so you figure he didn’t leave and someone didn’t break in. 

“Jason?” You turn the corner to the kitchen and see him standing with a bag of Ihop, staring at you as if he’d gotten caught stealing from the cookie jar. 

   “Good morning,” His eyes flicker to the gun as you set it on the counter. A part of him is proud that you were hesitant enough to bring the gun with you. “I got breakfast.” 

“Aw,” You grin. “Post hate crime meal!” 

“That’s an insane sentence,” He tells you, unpacking what he had gotten. “I didn’t know what you’d like, so I got you blueberry pancakes, french toast, eggs, and bacon. And the orange juice,” He places two boxes and a large cup of orange juice in front of you, then the straw. But you’re just focused on the fact that you know for a fact that wasn’t a random order. You’d posted about that exact order once before. Maybe a month or so ago. 

   “Oh,” You hum, looking at the food and then at him. “That’s sweet. Thank you.” He hums back, dropping the bag down to the floor, and takes his food. He’d gotten strawberry pancakes, hash browns, an omelet, and a coffee. 

Now you feel bad for not having a coffee table. 

“Wanna watch something while we eat?” You point your thumb toward the living room and he nods. 

While in the middle of watching Breaking Bad, you get up to set the empty containers in the sink and the cup in the trash while Jason watches. He doesn’t really know what to do, he wants to sleep, having stayed up the entire night in case anything happened but he’s enjoying his time with you. Even if the circumstances were… less than ideal. 

“Do you work today?” He asks when you’re walking back. 

   “Depends if my sister calls out,” Sitting, you turn your body to look at him. “I work Wednesday through Sunday, most weeks, at least.” 

“Are you going to make the report?” He also turns his body to you, watching as you toss your head back and sigh. 

   “Probably not,” You admit, looking back at him. “It’s more effort than I care to do,” He blinks, clearly disappointed but he’s not going to push. 

   “You should carry a weapon.” Jason’s not really asking, he’s telling you. “How good are you with a gun?” 

“Not sure,” 

“You bought a gun without training for it?” He asks, slowly as if he’s waiting for you to correct him and tell him that you actually go to the gun range in your free time. 

   “My dad got me it when I moved out.” You shrug, feeling a little ashamed because now he’s looking at you like you’re insane. “He said I needed protection and he doesn’t believe in mace or tasers.” 

“Clearly you do!” He throws his hand up towards the door. “We’re going to the gun range today.” 

“Jay!” You groan, nudging his leg with your foot. He grabs it and slides you down the couch. “I’m fine.” He just hums and leans over you, it doesn’t do much. Aside from shutting you up. 

He’s staring at you, his eyes unwavering from yours while you can’t seem to settle on where to look. It’s making you nervous— he’s making you nervous. The proximity isn’t the biggest issue, no the issue is the fact that you don’t mind that he’s above you, his hand right next to your head, and for fucks sake his breathing is even. 

“You’re going.” 

“Yup,”

—

Weirdly enough, the shooting range wasn’t in some building. No, Jason had decided to drive the hour's ride to a private lot. While normally you don’t agree to be in the middle of butt fuck nowhere without your own means of leaving, you were willing to bend your rules this one time. 

He has you help with setting up the cans and the body dummies, which are incredibly lifelike. A little creepy, but whatever floats his boat, you guess. He also puts up a new target sheet on a metal wall before he returns to hand you a handgun and ear mufflers. 

“Don’t hold it like that,” He blinks as you’re pointing the gun directly at your foot. You’re not a fool, you’ve played a couple of shooter games before. 

   “The safety is on,” You justify but point it toward the ground instead. Just to keep him happy. He just sighs and grabs his own gun, pointing it toward the dummy. 

“Stand like this,” He watches you from the corner of his eye as you mimic his stance. It’s a little uncomfortable but very technical. “A little straighter.” Fixing your posture he nods and drops his stance to adjust your grip on the gun. He takes your hands and adjusts them appropriately. “It’s not accurate for beginners, but I learned this way.” He explains as he steps behind you and lowers himself to your height. It’s hard when you’re not the same six foot-five that he is, but that’s neither here nor there. 

With his line of sight that is the same as yours, he raises your hands a little higher and a little to the left. You trust his judgment, you’re no fool on how accurate Red Hood is with his guns. 

It's silent, so silent that you can hear him breathing even through the heavy earmuffs. Whether you like it or not, you start to stop focusing on the task at hand and on him. He smells like your soap, too. It’s a little too domestic for the setting you’re in. 

“Take it off of safety,” He instructs, taking two steps away. Doing as he says, you want to roll your shoulders back but you’re worried you’d lose the position. “Go ahead.” His arms cross as he stares ahead at the dummy and you catch the flex of muscle under his shirt. 

Adjusting yourself as lowkey as you can, you close one eye and press the trigger. It's harder than you would’ve thought, giving you only a moment to back out. Following through, you let the recoil push you back a little before looking at the dummy. It didn’t hit the center of the head, instead grazing over the ear. 

“Close,” Jason looks over at you as you’re rubbing your shoulder but stops when you catch him looking at you. “Again?”

—

“I mean,” One of your friends, Tasha, takes a long sip of her drink. “None of us wanted to say anything but Gina is a bitch.” Frowning, you push around your food with the back of your fork. What was supposed to be your friend group's monthly putting ended up becoming a major therapy session when they noticed that Gina wasn’t there. 

   “Yeah,” Dante gives you a sort of frown sort of smile. “But you’d been friends with her for longer than us, so it wasn’t really our place.” 

“It’s crazy that it took her boyfriend trying to kill me to realize that, though.” It felt a bit weird, she’d always been in your life, and before the whole incident, you never would’ve thought you’d be without her. But life was the same, if not better with her gone. You didn’t realize how much you didn’t need her until now and honestly, you’re just upset it didn’t happen sooner.

Especially considering all of your other friends didn’t like her. 

“Speaking of,” Alex cranes her neck to look at you. “Who’s Jason?” She grins as your eyes narrow. You’re not one to divulge about your life, especially over text. 

   “How do you know about him?” Setting your fork down, she snorts before digging back into her meal. 

   “Girl, I was the Uber Eats driver.” She explains and looks to the others who are clearly out of the loop. “My first order of the day, some guy named Jason with a blank profile. Whatever, right? I pick up the Ihop order— he knows your taste, cute.” She quickly adds. “And then, I get the address. I’m just thinking (Y/n) created a fake profile. Nah, bro!” She covers her mouth to stop her laughing and to stop any potential food from flying out of her mouth. 

“I knock and this tall guy with this hot face scar opens the door. If he would’ve asked I would’ve taken the tip,” And she didn’t mean money. 

“Clearly he already did!” Dante cackles, watching as you drown yourself in the soda you’d ordered. The others laugh while you have to do damage control. 

“Jay’s a friend who happened to be in the neighborhood when Kyle was chasing me,” The three look at each other, ever aware of the fact that you’re staring at your plate while talking. They just assume the friend part is a lie. “And he spent the night. On the couch.” You add, looking at each of them to make sure that they understand. 

  “And ordered you breakfast in bed. And he left a hundred-dollar tip,” Alex swirls her pasta around her fork while the others gape at the news. 

   “Oh girl,” Tasha looks over at you. “He got a sister?” 

“Too young for your old ass!” You laugh while she pretends to be offended. “His sisters are nineteen and eighteen.” You wondered if you should add Barbra to his list of family. But you think she’s more of an acquaintance than family. But you could be wrong. 

   “You know his family?” Tasha’s eyebrows furrow. 

   “I know of his family. Never met that before.”

“Ah, waiting for the one-year mark?” Alex nods as if she had caught the drift you are trying to get at. 

   “Oh my god,” Rolling your eyes, you lean back in your seat. 

“What? You’re acting like you’re not attracted to that man. He’s fine as hell!” Alex pushes her hair behind her ear as she talks. “Might have to revoke your gay card.” 

“I never said that, it’s just…” Rubbing your hands on your pants, your face scrunches. “He could be straight.” Now, you weren’t going to deny the fact that Jason was attractive. He was the embodiment of your personal preferences, but you were a chronic overthinker with these sorts of things. To the point where it needs to be spelled out for you to get any hints. 

“He got you breakfast in bed.” Dante sounds out each word, putting an equal amount of extra emphasis on it. Just to make sure it really sinks in. 

   “I did that for you guys before!” You defend. 

    “Fine— fine, how do you know him?” Tasha asks and the others nod, happily awaiting your response. 

“He comes into the shop every Sunday. He’s been coming for about four years, give or take.” You shrug and they blink at each other. This is why you’re still single. 

    “Isn’t he the one that bought you Five Guys last month?” Dante is now physically turned to you, his eyes wide and you grumble. You never told them about that. 

   “You’re lying,” Alex cackles. “That’s your man and you don’t wanna admit it. Five guys is expensive.” 

“How about this?” Dante rolls his hand before you can even reply to Alex. “If one of Tasha’s friends got her an expensive lunch without asking, showed up to her job every single shift for four years, stayed with her after a traumatic night, got her breakfast, and didn’t leave until she was truly safe; how much platonic energy does that give you?” 

“Not a lot, but—“

“Nah,” Dante holds your hands as he speaks. “I love you, so don’t take this the wrong way but you’re stupid as fuck. He wants you.”

“He wants the books I sell. And my friendship.”

“He wants to spread something other than pages.” He shakes his head and you snort. “Ask him out, if he says no. Then I owe you a grand.”

“You don’t have a grand.” You deadpan and he nods. 

   “I’m so sure he’ll say yes that I’m making that bet.”

“Fine,” You huff. “But if this ruins my friendship you all owe me lunch for a month.” Surprisingly, they all agree and you settle on asking him on the upcoming Sunday. So, the very next day. 

—

“Why are your friends watching you?” Your sister asks as she walks behind you to grab one of the display books and swap it for a different one. 

   “Don’t worry about them,” You mutter, too busy watching the window; waiting for the motorcycle to stop in front of the store. She notices, of course, and stands behind you before deciding it was time to take her break and join your friends upstairs. 

Eventually, you see his motorcycle pull up and sigh, fixing your apron but stop when you hear them snickering. This whole situation was stupid, that’s what you’ve decided. But you’ve made your bed, it was time to lie in it. 

Jason walks in, his eyes immediately finding yours but you’re busy ringing someone up. He grabs the basket from the front of the shop and walks around the shop until he sees the line is gone. 

“Jay,” You grin, holding onto the counter. 

   “(Y/n),” His eyes focus on your hands for a second before he grabs a chocolate from the basket. Glancing at your friends, you fix your posture and reassure yourself. “Anything new?” Typically, you’d already be talking about what’s new but there’s just this hanging silence. 

“Nah,” You shake your head but still double-check the inventory log. “But we’re getting some um… science fiction stuff next week.” He’s not too big on those, maybe once in a blue moon he’ll actually buy one. He goes to talk but your phone dings before he can open his mouth. Watching as you grab your phone, your eyes scan over a text before you huff and silence it. 

“I heard about…” You trail into a whisper. “The Riddler kidnapping, you okay?” Not the best way to lead into asking someone out, but hey. Could’ve been worse. 

   “I’m fine,” He nods. “Arms a little sore but I’ll live.” 

“Long enough to go on a date with me?” You ask, a bit quicker than you intended but thankfully your words haven’t jumped up. He laughs, his eyes closing and you falter, glancing up at your friends for some type of support. 

   “That was a bold transition,” He settles himself down. “When are you free?”

“Oh shit, for real?” You grin. “I’m free Monday. Or whenever you are, really. My shifts are pretty flexible,” 

“I’ll pick you up Monday,” 

“I asked you on the date,” You huff. “I’m picking you up.” He crosses his arms and his eyes lower into a sort of unamused expression. 

   “You’ll pick me up, from Gotham?” He asks, just to make sure you know what you’d be signing up for. Truthfully, you hadn’t. And as such, you weigh your options— you don’t even have a car to offer to pick him up in. Damn. 

    “Fine, Monday at eight.” Giving in, he nods and glances around the shop. 

   “I don’t need a book today, see you tomorrow.” He looks you up and down, this time you watch as his eyes slowly drag down and tilt your head. 

“Looking like you already wanna kiss me, Jay.” You joke as his eyes reach yours again. 

   “Since you offered.” He grins and sneaks one single kiss that lasts less than a second. 

“I get off in thirty,”

[pinguwrites]

Kinktober 2023 | Day Fifteen — Jonathan Crane + sex pollen

Pairing -> jonathan crane x assistant!reader

Warnings -> dub-con (pollen=no proper consent), both jonathan and reader are kinda assholes, can you tell I know nothing about science??, implied age gap, why the fuck is grinded not a word, sorry I promised breeding and there was none

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Disclaimer: The Dark Knight Trilogy characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

“No,” Jonathan Crane chastised with a roll of his eyes. “I said Solution A, not Solution B. There are labels for a reason.”

You scowled at Dr. Crane, but corrected your mistake without any complaint. You weren’t sure what you were getting into when you became his lab assistant; all you knew was that the money was good and the experience was second to none, but you weren’t prepared for the attitude that came with the job, and the excessive amount of huffs and groans that you would have to deal with while working for Dr. Jonathan Crane.

“Do you even understand what we’re doing here?” he asked, his square glasses glinting in the light for a moment.

“I understand,” you mumbled. “Even though you weren’t very helpful in explaining it.”

“Excuse me?”

Oh, here we go.

Dr. Crane turned to face you, setting down the book he was holding. He seemed to be in a particularly bitchy mood today. You briefly regretted pissing him off—it would do good for neither of you to fight, but your pride wouldn’t allow you to back down or apologize.

“Yeah.” You shrugged, a hint of a grin on your face. “You don’t work well with younger people. No wonder Gotham University fired you.”

Dr. Crane’s cheeks turned a light pink. He clearly hadn’t expected that. “How do you know about that?”

“I know things,” you said vaguely. “It’s not like it was difficult information to find.”

He growled and grabbed your wrist, stopping your hand movements before you could arrange the other vials. In his haste, he had caused you to knock over a small bottle with a strange yellow substance inside, like powdered dust. You had noticed it a while back, but you didn’t bother asking what it was.

It fell to the ground and shattered. The dust rose up into the air, and before you could move away, you inhaled it, coughing while doing so. Dr. Crane seemed to have taken a hit as well, because he sputtered a little, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“So, you can’t explain things and you’re clumsy,” you said as soon as you got your breath back, but Jonathan wasn’t listening. He was pacing around the room, hand on his mouth as he sighed. You took a moment to admire him in this state. You never realized how beautiful he looked, especially when those blue eyes of his—which, you always thought were nice—were filled with emotion.

“Fuck!” he snapped suddenly, with one of his little huffs. “Do you even know what that was?”

“What was it?” you asked, growing a little concerned. Your head was getting a little dizzy. It wasn’t dangerous, was it? No. He wouldn’t leave harmful things just laying about.

“It was . . .” he trailed off, looking embarrassed. He was clearly trying to look away, but his eyes kept making its way back to you. It almost felt unnerving, the way he was gazing at you, eyes darker than usual. But you ignored it. Dr. Crane had always had that creepy look about him.

It wasn’t until you started to feel a certain way between your legs, uncharacteristically wet, did you realize what Dr. Crane was trying to say. “No,” you said firmly, in denial. “Don’t tell me it’s that.” But he was already making his way over to you, unbucking his belt.

He backed you into the wall. Your heart was thumping, so loud you were sure he could hear it. Fear rushed through your body, but there was also a sense of excitement, one you reasoned was only because of the chemical. 

Dr. Crane kissed you hard, with fervor, forcing his tongue inside your mouth as he grinded against your body with a groan. He was clearly more affected than you, or at least, was affected more quickly. You wondered wether this was all intentional, wether he had set the vial there and knocked it over on purpose, but slowly, all sense of thought faded and all you could think about was sex, sex, sex, and the way Dr. Crane felt against you.

“Please,” you whimpered, inhibition lost. “Fuck me.”

Taglist:

@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

[raynetheinsane]

Batfam (and friends) as Henry Danger quotes

(Because im a nerd and love this show)

Damian: Tt, my parties arent that bad

Jon: Christmas. 3 years ago. 15 kids ended up in the hospital!

Damian: FATHER!!!

Tim: Damian! Were trying to study here *indicates to Duke and Steph, both clearly not studying*

Damian: I’m talking to my Father.

Robin!Jason: Dangit! All these jobs say i gotta have skills..

Dick: You have skills!

Jason: Name one.

Dick: You’re a great dancer!

Jason: No I’m not?

Dick: You could take lessons.

(More under the cut i just dont want this to be super duper long)

Bruce: How old are you?

Tim, trying to become robin: Im 13, I’ll be 14. On my next birthday

Dick: Ah so youre aging sequentially

Tim, extremely tired: Do you ever dream about sleeping?

Steph, extremely confused:…no??

Tim: good. If you did youd be dead.

Bruce: Lets ride.

Robin!Jason who is very new to this: Wha- Ride where?

Bruce: We’ve got people in the Jandy River that need saving.

Bruce: Come on.

Jason: You mean we’re going there? Together? Like right now?

Tim, extremely dirty and has a cut on his face walking into Drake Manor:

Jack, not paying attention: Hey Tim, did you get the job?

Tim: Yeah, just finished my first day.

Jack: So hows work?

Tim: Uh it was pretty… interesting.

Bernard: Hey, you never told us what you do at your new job

Tim: *just stares wide eyed silently*

Bruce: While we were patrolling, Poison Ivy stole packs of baby bottles, can you guess why?

Robin!Dick: Uhhh

Bruce: To flood the bottles with radioactive plant matter.

Dick: I would not have guessed that.

Jason: I see youre in your pajama pants.

Tim: Yeah its almost midnight, I was studying for this test i have tomorrow

Jason: What subject?

Tim: Puerto Rican history

Jason: Ah Puerto Rico… land of…

Tim: Puerto Ricans?

Jason: yeah..

Red Hood: Strike three.

Spoiler: That was only 2

Hood: Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals

Duke: Whats in the mug?

Tim, who just poured himself and entire pot of coffee despite hating it: Coffee.

Tim: To keep me alive.

Duke: no, no, no, no, you cannot drink this much coffee after work. This mug is comedically large!

Steph: I have the same dream all the time. It satrts with me getting a horse for my birthday. Then my dad shows up. Then the horse kicks my dad in the face!

Jason, helping Tim study: You want a good grade on your puerto rican math test?

Tim: history

Jason, who died before he finished highschool: Same thing

Non-Bat who needs the antidote for Joker gas or something: Will this hurt?

Black Bat: Yes, very much.

Bernard, talking about a criminal the Bats cant catch: Its not Batmans fault, he just needs a better sidekick

Tim: One more time.

Bernard, who knows: Just saying, I’d be way better at catching criminals than the current Robin

Dick: I’m gonna die..

Jason: Not in the house. If you’re gonna die, do it outside

Tim: I’m Robin.

Bernard: I know. I figured that out.

Damian: Todd, I wish to speak to you about something.

Jason: BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE

Oracle: Steph, come to Gotham Park right now!

Steph: noo, I’m not in the mood for trees

Oracle: did i ask you what youre in the mood for?

Vikki Vale: So, Spoiler, how did you catch Two Face?

Spoiler: I’d love to take all the credit, but it was really all thanks to my partner, Black Bat.

Vikki: Interesting. Black Bat, can you tell us more?

Black Bat: No.

It really bothers me the lack of Babs, Cass, and Duke worthy quotes there are 😔😔 also my personal favs show a lot and im sorry for that, but there will be more as i think of them, these are just eps 1-4, the rest will be posted like in a queue or something and as single quotes cus im eepy

[wosoimagines]

Jack Of All Trades - USWNT/Reader

prompt: based off of an incorrect quote from @incorrectnwsl; Emily Sonnett: No one likes a show-off. Kelley O’Hara: Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck. Emily: [under her breath] Fuck. That's true.

warnings: none

words: 2122

also, a note, i literally speak none of the languages that is used in this fic so i have no idea if i used the correct grammar or words as i have used a translator.

(Y/N) POV

“You’re a really good cook, you know that?” Kelley said.

I looked up at her from where I was cleaning up in the kitchen.

“You are more than welcome to take some with you,” I assured her. I motioned to where the gumbo was still sitting. “There’s more than enough there. I honestly probably made enough to feed more than my family.”

“But who taught you how to cook?” Kelley asked.

“I grew up cooking with my grandparents,” I shrugged. It wasn’t something that I had really sought out. It was just one of those things that had happened. “I loved getting to cook with them. They always cooked for our family get togethers and we were always there early. I eventually asked if I could start helping and they let me.”

“Can you get traded to Washington and come be my personal chef?” Kelley asked. I shook my head at that cause I was perfectly happy playing at Gotham. “Sonny, come convince (Y/N) that she needs to move to Washington.”

“It would be pretty awesome if you joined us,” Sonny said from her spot at the island. I rolled my eyes at that. “We could all play in Washington together. Kelley and I on the back line and you up front. Would be pretty sick.”

“You just want me there so I can cook for you.”

“I mean, yes, but like no?” Sonny said. I shook my head at that because I knew that she did want me to cook for her more if I ended up moving to play for Washington. “Like it would just be fun to have you there in Washington anyways.”

“Well, you can count it out,” I said as I placed most of the dishes I needed to clean into my sink. “I’m staying with Gotham. You two will just have to get over it and come visit me to get my cooking instead.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who’s playing?” 

I could hear the voice outside of the door ask. I didn’t pay it much mind though as I focused on hitting the right keys. Although, I wasn’t sure as to why I was so worried about messing up. I had been able to play this piece from memory for years now.

“Is there anything (Y/N) can’t do?”

My fingers slipped at that causing me to press all of my fingers down to create a horrendous crashing sound. I looked over my shoulder at my teammates as I sent them a glare.

“Will you all shut up?” I asked. A few of them made their way into the room. “It’s quite hard to focus when you have so many people talking and you’re trying to focus.”

“What were you playing?” Becky asked.

“I had made it all the way to Scarbo,” I said. I noticed her confused look at that. “It’s the third part to Gaspard de la nuit. It’s by Ravel.”

“I didn’t know you knew how to play the piano,” Christen said. I looked over at her and nodded my head. “How long have you been playing?”

“Since I was a little kid. Longer than I’ve been playing soccer,” I admitted. It was true. “I didn’t even stop my piano lessons until I left for college. This was one of the concert pieces I became good at.”

“Is it hard?”

“Is it hard?” I repeated. “You basically have to solve endless quadratic equations in your head while you play it. Is it hard. Unbelievable.”

“Can we hear it?” Becky asked.

I sighed but nodded. The rest of the group moved to take a seat around the room as well. I tuned them out as I focused on the piece.

Once I had finished the piece, many of my teammates clapped. I only sent them a smile. 

“I can’t believe you played that from memory,” Sonny said.

“Like I said, I’ve been playing piano longer than I’ve been playing soccer,” I shrugged. It was just something I had developed a talent for. “I was playing this piece of nearly four years before I stopped taking lessons. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played it now.”

“But for real, is there anything you can’t do?” Kelley asked.

“Guess you’ll just have to find out.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ooooh, here’s a good one,” Sonny grinned. She glanced between myself and Tierna. “Does (Y/N) know any other languages other than English and if so, how many?”

Tierna stared at me as I nodded. She knew this. I knew that Tierna knew this. I wrote down the number myself.

“Wait,” I said. Sonny turned to look at me. “Wait, wait wait. I have a question. Is this languages that I like know? Or does it include any languages I’m also learning?”

“That’s a good question,” Sonny said. She looked down at the paper in her hand. “I’m not sure. I guess the languages you know, but if Tierna can get the ones you’re learning then it’s an extra point.”

“That’s not fair,” Kelley whined. I rolled my eyes at her as I changed the answer. “They’re rooming together so Tierna gets to hear (Y/N) practicing.”

“Get over it, Kelley,” Tierna said as she wrote on her board. “Okay, I think I have this right.”

“Okay, on three,” Sonny said. Tierna and I nodded to each other. “One, two, three. Go!”

Tierna and I turned our boards around and I immediately looked at her board.

“Noooo,” I groaned when I saw the number. “One too high.”

“At least I got the one you’re learning right,” Tierna pointed out. She was right about that. I was currently learning Arabic. “At least I got that point.”

“Can you name the four languages that (Y/N) knows, Tierna?” Sonny asked.

This was challenging since Tierna had over guessed how many languages I knew. But I did have hope that Tierna could get it right.

“Okay, I know you know Spanish, I’ve heard you talking in Spanish a lot,” Tierna listed. I nodded at that because that was true. “You also did play in France and so I know that you did learn French. You knew you were going to go to France your senior year and so you spent the year learning French.”

“Oooooh,” I hummed. Sonny turned to me. “That is two of the four.”

“I wanna hear you speak Spanish and French now just to prove it,” Kelley said. I rolled my eyes at that because Kelley had heard me speaking both languages before.

“Ooooh, yes,” Sonny agreed. I shook my head at that. “You have to repeat what I say but in each of the four languages. Let’s start with Spanish. ‘She was between a rock and a hard place.’“

“Ella estaba entre la espada y la pared,” I repeated back to Sonny in Spanish after a moment.

“If anyone watching this video knows Spanish, tell us in the comments whether or not that was correct,” Sonny said as she turned to look at the camera before turning her attention back to me. “Now for French. ‘She won the challenge against all odds.’“

“Elle a remporté le défi contre toute attente,” I said this time in French after I thought about it.

“Again, viewers, I’m relying on you guys to tell me if (Y/N) is actually saying these things correctly,” Sonny said as she looked at the camera. “Tierna, we are still missing two languages.”

“You also know Japanese,” Tierna said. I nodded at that because it was true. “You learned it when we were teenagers so you could watch anime without subtitles.”

My jaw slacked at that. I hadn’t expected for Tierna to rat me out like that.

“Tierna, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone that,” I said as my face heated up. I turned to the camera. “You guys are cutting that out. I’m serious, the world is not gonna know that it’s actually true.”

“Did you really only learn Japanese to watch anime without subtitles?” Alex asked.

“Shut up, Alex.”

“Okay, okay,” Sonny said as she held up her hands. “Now we have to hear something in Japanese. ‘You cannot alter your fate, my prince. However, you can rise to meet it if you choose.’“

“Isn’t that a quote from Princess Mononoke?”

“Shut up and translate it, (Y/N).”

“Okay, okay,” I said as I held my hands up. “王子様、あなたの運命を変えることはできません。ただし、必要に応じて立ち上がることができます。”

“Okay, that one I really do want to make sure was quoted correctly,” Sonny said as she pointed at the camera. I rolled my eyes at that. “Do you know the fourth and final language, Tierna?”

“I’m drawing a blank,” Tierna shook her head. I groaned cause Tierna had been doing so good.

“You know this,” I said. Tierna looked over at me. “Come on, T, we were roommates in college. You know this.”

“Oh. Oh! OH! It’s, um... It’s German. It’s German!”

“Is that your final answer,” Sonny asked Tierna. Tierna nodded at that. “All right, (Y/N)?”

“It is German. I studied it in college. I can’t believe it took you that long. You used to literally hold my notecards,” I said to Tierna.

“Listen, I wasn’t concerned about learning it with you,” Tierna said.  “Oh, you should say that pick-up line you would always use when we were teenagers. What was it?”

“Do you mean, ‘You know what you would look wonderful in? My arms’?” I asked Tierna. She nodded and I groaned at that. “Weißt du, worin du wunderbar aussehen würdest? Meine Arme.“

“And that actually translate to your pick up line?” Sonny asked. I nodded in confirmation.

“Dude, is there really anything you can’t do?” Kelley asked.

“Guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you just land a toe flip?” Tobin asked causing me to turn my skateboard around to look at her. I nodded in confirmation. “Dude, I didn’t even realize you could skateboard.”

“So now you can skateboard?” Sonny asked me. 

“Jealous of everything I can do yet?” I asked her. I knew that Sonny and Kelley had both been amazed at everything that they had been learning that I could do. “It’s okay to admit it, Sonny.”

Sonny only rolled her eyes at me. I turned back to look at Tobin as I kicked my skateboard into my hands.

“I haven’t been skating for long honestly,” I shrugged. It was something I hadn’t picked up when I was a kid. “I picked it up in college so I could get around Stanford easier. Plus it’s great for when it isn’t winter and I can’t go snowboarding in Colorado or when we aren’t surfing at the beach.”

“Seriously?” Kelley asked. I turned to look at her. “What are you? Just a jack of all trades?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I did only get a B in calculus.”

“I hate you,” Kelley said. 

I set her a soft smile before I rode away from the group on my skateboard. I did at least make sure that I stayed close to them since we were supposed to be exploring the city together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grabbed the ball from the back of the net before turning to face the defenders. Kelley and Sonny had approached me while I was working on my skills and tricks once our practice had ended. They offered to defend the goal in case I wanted to get some practice against defenders in.

“You two ready to give up yet?” I asked the two.

They were both leaned over with their hands on their knees as they were both trying to catch their breath. I jogged past the two and out of the box even. I turned back to look at the two.

“Don’t worry, I can always practice these without defenders,” I assured them.

Neither of them said much as they both nodded and moved to the sideline where they each grabbed their own waters. I immediately started to move the ball. I made sure that my back was to the goal before performing a rainbow flick and then jumping up to bicycle kick the ball into the net.

“No one likes a show-off,” Sonny called out.

I knew that the two of them must have been annoyed by how many skills I had shown the two considering they had spent a lot more time with me this off season.

“Unless what they’re showing off is dope as fuck,” Kelley pointed out.

I grinned at that because I knew it meant that Kelley thought what I had been doing was cool. I was too focused on the ball in front of me as I started to dribble it again to catch what Sonny had said next.

“Fuck,” Sonny said under her breath. “That’s true.”

[frownyalfred]

Hello! I’m not Jewish and I just learned about Pikuach Nefesh. Being Jewish yourself, I’m guessing you have a lot of thoughts on this and how it relates to Bruce’s no-kill policy. I’d be really interested in hearing them if you want to make a post!

Hey friend!

I absolutely have thoughts, but I must begin with a disclaimer:

My perspective does not cover all Jews, nor is it the authority on what is or isn't Jewish. I grew up Reform/Reconstructionist, in an ethnically Ashkenazi Jewish family, and these are just my thoughts as a Batman blog.

Another important note: different types of Jews hold the halacha (rules/principles) of Judaism to be far more important in their lives. An Orthodox Jew will observe halacha much more strictly than a Reform Jew. Despite what some people will tell you, this doesn't make either of them better. Just different.

Whew, okay. Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business.

What is Pikuach Nefesh?

In very general terms, Pikuach Nefesh (hard ch sound in the back of your throat) allows Jews to override other religious "rules" or values in the pursuit of preserving or saving a life.

A good example of this is a an Orthodox Jewish person, who, following halacha, will not drive or operate items with electricity during the Sabbath (Shabbat). But what happens if someone has a heart attack and they need to call 911? Pikuach Nefesh would permit them to use electricity, despite it being Shabbat.

If a Jewish person who keeps total kosher is in a situation where they will starve if they do not eat non-kosher food, they are permitted to eat non-kosher food.

Exceptions

There are some notable exceptions to Pikuach Nefesh, which I suspect is what your question is getting at. The threat to an individual's life generally has to be known, urgent, and not abstract.

Murder is another large exception, with some conditions. Generally, the intentional act of killing another person, or injuring them to the point where they might die from their injuries, is not an act that can be permitted by the principle of Pikuach Nefesh.

The slim exceptions to this include highly specific cases of self defense of oneself or another against an aggressor. One may kill to preserve a life in very strict situations, but they cannot murder. There are even times where killing is obligated, such as war.

So how does this relate to Batman/Bruce's no-killing rule?

Okay. So. I've had a lot of discussions with folks about this, and the answer I've learned is: it doesn't. Not really.

Pikuach Nefesh refers to the principle that a Jewish person should preserve life over almost any other rule or halacha. It does, actually, permit Bruce to kill under very specific situations. It does actually forbid him from gravely injuring people and doing so in the name of fighting against abstract threats, which are both things he does in canon.

The last time I wrote about this, I was definitely off about the details of Pikuach Nefesh in regard to Batman. I was corrected and I stand by that correction. I didn't grow up in the Orthodox faith and I don't observe much of their halacha, which is where a lot of religious theory questions arise from. I'm not an expert, and my explanation is only as deep as my own experience.

I think a good way of looking at Pikuach Nefesh is not as a way to define what, if any, killing is acceptable, but rather, what are we obligated to do to save a life?

The more important Jewish principle shaping Batman's ideology (in my opinion)

"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire."

This is much more of an important focal point for Bruce's Jewish-influenced ideology. The flipside of this quote, from the Talmud, is equally important: "Whoever kills one life, kills the world entire."

Bruce's no-killing rule is famously tied to his parents' deaths during his childhood. In a way, his entire world ended with their murder. He sees his mission to clean up Gotham as a way to prevent that loss from occurring for anyone else.

Saving one person, like he tells Barry in Justice League, is enough. That is a viciously Jewish thought. It is frequently quoted in reference to those who acted in support of Jews during the Holocaust, doing what little they could against a fountain of evil.

Conclusion

In that regard, yes -- Pikuach Nefesh tells us that preserving a life is the most important thing above all else. But Bruce's no-killing rule would swiftly be broken if he followed the principle of Pikuach Nefesh closely, in that he would a) likely have to kill someone in self-defense at some point in his duties and b) it would not allow him to injure or hurt people to the extent that he currently does in canon.

More importantly, Bruce's no-killing rule is a better reflection of the Talmudic quote that "he who saves/kills a life, has saved/killed a world entire."

It is not much of a stretch, in my opinion, to connect Bruce's trauma from losing his parents at young age to his outright refusal to kill later in life. The more interesting question, in my mind, is if the creation of this no-killing rule truly was shaped by Batman's Jewish creators and their view on life and death, especially post Holocaust.

Comics became more widely available during and after WWII and the Holocaust, during which time many -- many -- Jews entered the field as writers and artists. Their influences on the characters we see today are obvious, often intentionally Jewish, but just as often un-intentional.

Was Batman's no-killing rule a product of the post-WWII Jewish comic writers who shaped his character? Was it a coincidence that lined up well with the Talmud, but not necessarily all the conditions of Pikuach Nefesh?

How else does Batman represent, or not represent, the goal of Pikuach Nefesh (the necessity that a person act in the preservation of human life, above almost all else)?

[shyjusticewarrior]

Gotham Incorrect Quotes Pt 158

Oswald: Oh, my stepmother was right, I'm never gonna get married.

Ed: You know what, that is... Who wouldn't want you?

-----------------------------------------

Harvey: If a beautiful women disagrees with me I will immediately change my view, I have no principles.

Jim: No you won't.

Harvey: That is correct I won't.

[penguinpuzzle]

Oswald: i confessed my love to you SOBBING in the FREEZING rain

Oswald: shit was cold

Ed: YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT FREEZING, OSWALD???????????????

Oswald: OH-

X

[nygmobblepot-trash]

Oswald has definitely tried to establish the purge several times in Gotham. After Jim told him he couldn't sell crime licenses he decided to let Gothamites do as much crime as they wanted for 24 hours to and I quote "get it out of their systems." He thought this would help lower crime rates. Then he tried using Ed as a source. Ed not only explained that he told Oswald it wouldn't work but also took control of GCN to give a presentation on why the idea of a purge is stupid. Oswald was of course hoping Ed wouldn't be able to correct him as he was in the hospital after getting pretty badly injured. Oswald forgot that Edward will stop at nothing to prove anyone wrong... including coming out of a coma (twice).

[boiledbirdy]

Duke Thomas Headcannons

⭐️He is either insanely talkative quoting memes sarcasm dripping out of his ass or completely silent

⭐️Duke is the type of person and leader that doesn’t need words to have an impact on people, but does use words primarily

⭐️He’s a people watcher, the type of guy to order one blue berry scone and a vanilla cream coffee and sit there for hours, barley noticeable scone half eaten and sits in seeming focus while watching the ins and outs of the coffee shop

⭐️Is the type of person to have everything but the one specific common thing EX Duke has a mini magnet chessboard, tissues, hair ties, flashcards, a few extra snacks for his friends, pens every color of the rainbow (except for black) like hoW?

⭐️Has doctor hand writing (very ineligible)

⭐️Relating to the one above takes most of his school notes in doodles that just make sense to him

⭐️Is the kid who can do really cool pen tricks when no one notices, if you ask him to do it consciously he cannot

⭐️Detective wise he cannot use the professional terminology that Bruce has tried drilling into him for hours upon hour, case notes are various ways of typing thing or thingy that Duke has to translate before entering into the database cause his brain just can’t compute

⭐️Low-budget Sci-Fi movies are his shit, its on a sketchy ass website or youtube 50/50 on whether you can recognize the costumes from JC Penny

⭐️He is as scared of villains as he is of his own powers

Sticks his tongue into his cheek when he’s thinks really hard

⭐️Authority figures have failed him to many times that he just does not trust them.

⭐️after yr 1 with the Waynes he knows that they aren’t family in his eyes but more the closest friends which makes him scared of what happens when his parents get back conscious. - will he ever be the stereotypical family that’s been driving him for all these years. - will he actually be a child or just be a caretaker to his own parents????

⭐️Love and Family aren’t words he likes much but trusts more through actions

⭐️I think he may have 3c or 4a hair???

⭐️Knows seemingly everyone in Gotham??? Like oh thats Richard he’s a plumber yeah he has two little girls and he’s a single dad (gives a whole flashback for this middle aged man)

⭐️His room decor is really obscure band and movie posters and the live laugh love like signs that he found in hobby lobby, thrift shops, or tjmax

⭐️In spars and in real combat will bite people if he needs to or feels trapped

⭐️that being said Duke motherfuckin’ Thomas is feral like the type of feral where you get a shiver up your spine before he comes in a room

⭐️Chronically listens to Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chillipeppers, Joy Division, 2Pac, and Drake (theres more but thats short hand)

⭐️He has tumblr and has announced to the world through twitter that he sees all of the Wayne posts on there and supports those accounts especially the more bizarre ones

⭐️Favorite color is that deep deep lucid blue that seems to just be the paint of clear night sky (#030640) is the hex color code

⭐️he texts like a psychopath with the correct grammer everywhere but spell check is off and the short hand acronyms are constant

⭐️favorite soda is probably mtn dew which I disapprove but it’s the fact of my brain

[eldest-sibling-tournament]

Literally... none of that is true lmao. Dick had beef with Bruce and mostly tried to keep Jason out of it, and let Jason know he was there for him if he needed it. They went skiing together. Dick had a complete breakdown after Jason's death.

Where do I even start on the next bit. ALFRED originally gave the Robin mantle to Damian. "Worst year of Tim's life" It was the worst year of DICK'S life. His father of like 15 years died, his city got blown up, his best friend died, etc etc. And he STILL pulled it together and took on the burden of becoming Batman, sacrificed his independence, moved to Gotham to raise Bruce's deeply traumatized son.

Also he NEVER tried to put Tim in Arkham. And god forbid he not listen to Tim who had NO EVIDENCE Bruce was alive, instead of taking care of all back-breaking responsibilities on his shoulders while still grieving

Anyway. Please don't use fanon Tim stan nonsense to slander Dick thank you <3

ask 1 ^

ask 2:

i know it doesnt actually matter but that second-to-last ask abt dick grayson is literally just straight up lies. this person has not read any of the comics they are referencing. they are just quoting incorrect fanon as if its facts. dick had a complicated relationship with jason, yes, but wasn't particularly unkind to him, just distant, and is shown to have regretted that and grieved him hard; i'm not even gonna begin to get into the damian bashing but literally at no point did dick ever try to get tim committed to arkham. he suggested tim get therapy, because their adoptive father was dead (as far as they knew) and tim was convinced he wasn't but had no evidence. this is not an unreasonable thing to suggest to your grieving brother who appears stuck in denial! and he didn't "replace tim with damian and not even tell him". damian literally interrupted the conversation where he was trying to tell tim about it (where his rationale was that damian, a child literally raised in a cult of assassins, needed to be given a role to fill in bc he needed structure while being deprogrammed from being a child soldier, and dick wanted to see tim as his equal, not a subordinate.) tim himself completely reconciled with dick by the end of this comic. that anon was just making up a guy to be mad at, not actually talking about dick grayson 💀

ask 3:

Hi I’m the dick grayson shouldn’t win anon, the people thirst voting one etc etc but saw some propaganda that’s based on bald faces lies and I gotta correct it bc it’s my pet peeve. DICK DID NOT THREATEN TIM WITH ARKHAM. HE SUGGESTED A THERAPIST IN METROPOLIS like okay he fucked up there but he made the best decision he could during the red robin run (which is a dumpster fire) and like it’s been a minute since I read battle for the cowl era but didn’t Alfred give Damian the robin suit. And Jason was literally in dick’s family colours which got taken away from dick by Bruce which he had no right to do so I mean he justifiably didn’t like him. And yeah okay dick did put Jason in Arkham but need I remind you that Jason went on a killing spree as Batman and almost killed tim. And let’s be real him and him are brothers. He didn’t ditch him. That relationship was never fixed in comics bc they reset the universe but at the end of red Robin they were okay. And like you have over 10 years of comics but the important thing is that Arkham was NEVER what dick suggested to Tim holy shit but uh also don’t vote for dick in the next round (vote for him against supernatural guy tho) I just don’t appreciate the slander but I’ll be putting out my anti dick grayson propaganda next thanks

Adding to my other ask, Tim literally sounded like he was losing it. Like I wouldn’t believe him either. In the nightwing comics not too long ago he tried to bring his dad, Steph, and Conner back to life with the Lazarus pit. Tim willingly cut himself and started to use self destructive behaviours (LoA) and like his entire internal monologue supports that and bc grim dark era justifiably fucked him up okay I’m done

ok thank you! glad you're clearing this up

[soleminisanction]

How did Steph become Robin and how did she become fired? I know it was her starting a gang war but how exactly?

I had this whole thing typed up last night with citations and everything and then the post editor glitched and I lost the whole thing. :/ So, take 2:

Around Robin issues #124-125, Tim's father Jack discovered that he was Robin and went to Wayne Manor with a gun to threaten Bruce over the whole thing. To keep the peace, Tim volunteered to step down as Robin and promised his dad that he'd give that life up forever.

Shortly thereafter (Issue 126), Steph was stalking Tim at his school because if she doesn't see him every day she immediately assumes that he's cheating on her. She arrived at just the wrong moment to witness his classmate Darla plant a kiss on him, took that as proof that he was cheating, and ran away without bothering to wait the ten seconds it would've taken to see Tim push Darla away and tell her, again, that he has a girlfriend, sending her off in tears.

Steph went straight home, made herself a Robin costume, then went to the Bat-cave and told Bruce she would be the new Robin now. And Bruce agreed to let her try.

It's never actually defined what Stephanie's motivation for this is, BTW. We're left to pick it up from context clues -- like the fact that she was perfectly happy being Spoiler and had zero thoughts or plans in this direction until she saw Tim "cheating," and the fact that she then immediately ghosted Tim for what's implied to be weeks, potentially months, with no explanation.

It is, however, implied that Bruce might be going along with it all as a -- quoting Alfred -- "scheme to lure Tim back." Which, yeah, is not great.

So Bruce sets Steph up with a non-homemade Robin costume and a stupid new haircut (it only looks passable when Damion Scott draws it, everyone else needs to stop trying) and gives her this ultimatum.

Remember this for a later post, this one got too long. This arrangement of theirs lasts for a grand total of two full issues.

Seriously. Steph is hired as Robin at the end of issue #126, and she's fired at the end of #128. She appears in, I think, one or two issues of Cass's Batgirl, maybe the same months' corresponding Detective Comics and Batman issues (I don't really care to look them up to double-check), and a single B-plot appearance in an issue of the contemporary Teen Titans mostly dedicated to Superboy calling her a backstabbing wannabe poser and telling her she'll never be welcome at the Tower because she's not the real Robin.

That is the only time those two have ever spoken, BTW. Which is why a lot of people have been annoyed that they're suddenly being written as buddy-buds in the recent continuity for no reason.

Anyway, the point is, Steph's Robin career lasted a grand total of 3 months out-of-universe and forty-nine days in-universe, which we know because she started calling her diary-based narration her "War Journal" and counting the days there. This was recently re-confirmed in 2021's Robins miniseries.

Which brings us to how it ended, which is where I need to correct you slightly, anon. The gang war wasn't the cause of Steph's firing, it was the result.

The cause was an encounter with a powered-armor-wearing assassin called Scarab, who'd been hired by an old enemy of Tim's to kill black-haired, blue-eyed boys in Gotham in the hopes that she would eventually kill Robin. Encountering Steph with Bruce convinced Scarab that she must've killed her target ("resulting in the need for a replacement") and she was preparing to leave Gotham when Bruce & Steph tracked her down.

Bruce suited up in some power armor of his own and went down to fight Scarab, giving Steph strict orders to stay in the Bat-plane and not touch anything. Over the course of the resulting fight -- in which Bruce does seem to struggle a bit but never loses his cool and never seems to be in more danger than he would be in other fights -- he repeats these orders to Stephanie no less than five times.

Stephanie does not listen.

Stephanie rushes into the building, continues to disobey orders once she's there, and immediately gets herself taken hostage. Her life is threatened by the bad guy and Bruce lets Scarab go to save her.

That incident is what gets Stephanie fired.

Interestingly, despite what Bruce said about this being "the precise moment [Stephanie's] out," he actually waits until his injuries from the fight have recovered to drop the bomb, and it's implied that he stretches that out longer than he usually would -- out to a full three weeks -- to give her time to stew. Which I find very interesting, I'll talk about it more in the later post.

The gang war comes in because he gives her some privacy in the Batcave to collect her personal belongings before she goes, including her personal files off the Bat-computer. While doing this, she decides it's a great idea to steal one of Bruce's, quote, "contingency plans" to "wipe out all crime in Gotham... if worst came to worst." This particular plan involved bringing all of the Gotham crime families under Batman's control, and Steph figured that if she could "set that in motion, show she could help him" then he might "take her back."

Unfortunately, one of the "Big Secrets" that she wasn't privy to as a result of being on probation was the fact that Matches Malone, the guy on whom the entire plan hinged, was actually one of Batman's secret identities, so when he didn't show up to the meeting she arranged... boom. A bunch of mafia heads ended up dead, and that led to retaliation from their subordinates. Cue War Games.