#cw depressing stuff

[addysadness]

"I assumed you knew," I said, once I'd finished. "I mean... you're twins." "We don't have a psychic connection." "No, I thought he would have told you." - Radio Silence 2016

[buriedasylum]

I’m trying so hard to stay alive

[gonetoforks]

Yknow, everyone’s assumed B-127 was physically unable to leave sublevel 50, but I don’t think that’s the case.

I think it was a slow decent.

He talks about how “the shift manager up there really doesn’t like to be bothered.” So he believes he’s acquainted with a shift manager above sub-level 50.

He knows how to get out. Orion and Dee weren’t knights in shining armor who freed him from his castle, Bee showed them the exit through the garbage chute, which he talks about like he’s used before.

“Cause I’m just so good at what I do…” It sounds like a lie, but I don’t think he’s imaginative enough to come up with that himself from (the popular hc of) misunderstanding that he was thrown and/or left down there to die or starve. He’s the one who brought energon onto the expedition, his needs are seemingly being met. I think he was told that by people who just wanted him to shut up and go away.

㐃 Additionally, why would he have been scrapped in the first place; For being annoying? Even when Darkwing threw Dee & Orion down there, it was for challenging the discriminatory caste system that he as a cop relied on and actively embarrassing him in the race in front of all of Iacon, not yapping.

㐃㐃Though there’s also the question of “Why would Darkwing say they’ll never see anyone again?” I think he probably had business to do & planned on coming back to get them. Oof. (“I’ll make sure of that,” is future tense, “I will do something,” not, “I have just killed you”)

With the facts that he

Knows how to leave, can leave, and has, we see him leaving sublevel 50 in the movie,

Knows someone in the levels above him or with him (I’ve always wondered who this “shift manager” he mentioned is…) who does not like him leaving or being distracted,-

(though note the validity of his statements are a little bit under question since he “basically has built himself a small crew of Wilsons a la Castaway” but I like to think he’s not always lying to himself to stay sane. I like the bits where he’s the first to run away from the erupting rocks, & where he says “He’s going to kill everyone.” We need to give him more credit you guys)

(Though even if the shift manager is a character he made up for himself, it still implies that he’s given some importance to staying down there) (which is important to my point i’m about to make-)

-In mind. Why didn’t he just leave whenever? Why does he talk about being “down here a long time,” as if he was in Castaway & not just in a ‘how long has my job been here?’ kind of sense?

I think he’s actually, secretly, a very atypical depiction of a hikikomori.

I think about how excited he was to make friends, how most characters other than Optimus find him annoying, & just how similar he acts to a neurodivergent guy who just can’t seem to get conversation right despite loving it, and I think about this one quote from ceicocat;

If you withdraw from society for long enough, your social muscles atrophy. The pressure, shame, and guilt for evading your responsibilities sealing you into your room. You become calcified. Locked into the life of an extreme shut-in. (6:07)

This post also mentions that he seems the most fearful and hesitant of the group when confronted with new situations, which I hadn’t even noticed! (As this post seems more interested in proof and technicalities at first, mb lol) He’s more anxious than he lets on.

What if he wasn’t thrown down there one day? What if it was a slow decent? He senses other bots don’t feel like talking to him, so what’s the big deal with getting demoted? New chance at friends! And you get more chances. Again, and again, and again until you’re at sub-level 40. At least I’ve hit rock bottom, right? Nope, there’s more. Now you’re in sub-level 50 and leaving your house literally requires you to crawl up a hole through hordes of garbage. At least you can do your job. You can do it very well, it staves off the shame you don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Crawl through 50 sub-levels of garbage to leave your house when all the wilsons who like you are down here? No thanks!! I’m happy to stay down here and watch garbage burn. Forever. Till the day I die.

Poor Bee, why did I write that, I made myself sad.

I’m just saying, I think it would be really fascinating if, instead of just having a tragic backstory; this version of Bee was like this due to a combination of social struggles and his own weaknesses, choices and interactions! And how interesting it would be for a character easily flanderized as a friendly honeybee to actually be incredibly conflicted about his interactions with other people!

For instance;

What if he’s known for by his coworkers for being very enthusiastic and friendly, but also very hard to find? He takes his work home with him before ditching the office for like a week? And then he comes back like nothing happened!

What if he becomes a scout because he gets to stay hidden and just observe? He won’t have to talk to anyone and he wants to try and parse what it is that makes people act *gesturing vaguely around face* differently around him. It becomes a genuine interest of his like Abed from Community.

Idk… I guess you could say, i think when it comes to B-127… there’s.. MORE THAN MEETS THE EY- *i am yanked offstage by a giant hook.*

[120daysofsodomm]

art by -erlk.01

[w3brot]

[mentally-ill-loser-rants]

no.im not okay

[antikr1sta]

(tw sh/blood/vent art) "i hate it here, i hate the smell and fluorescent lights, but most of all I hate you", he utters, gazing at his own face in the reflection of a dirty mirror; as both are only hanging on by a thread.

blood/injury tw ↓

..yeah.. i really really hate it here

[bpderanged]

I know everything happens for a reason but what the actual fuck

[xxdrggieknightxx]

My last bit of coke for a while I’m high asf on percs rn tho shits crazy I need more coke tho

[3m0g1rlyyy]

the only way for me to tolerate people is by being on drugs.

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

In another life, would things be different?

[diary-of-a-loser-boy]

When shit goes down? In drugs I drown!

[bpderanged]

Being so depressed until I can't even bring myself to masturbate is mad disrespectful

[tomssexdoll]

HOI🖖👽 sooooOOOOOooo can you do a Tom kaulitz x fem! reader

Like were he says sumthing he didn’t mean like:example,he said something about ur past that’s a VERY touchy subject during an argument

Add fluff at the end pls🙏🙏🙏🥺

(IF UR NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THID ITS OK 👌🙂🙂🙂)

MK HOT STUFF GURLYS GOTTA GOOO😜😜😜😜 BOIIIIIIYUHHHH👋👋👋👋

hiii cutie ofc

I didn't mean it

PAIRINGS: Tom 2014 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF SYPNOSIS: During an argument Tom brings up something really touchy from the past as an insult, you're heartbroken and hurt from his words, he instantly apologises and tries to make it up to you. A/N: AHHH WARNINGS: yelling, !!!!VERY GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND A SMALL MENTION OF RAPE!!!!!!!!

Me and Tom were yet again in an argument, I got upset at him because he's been neglecting me, staying out late, not even touching me or holding me, nothing.

I brought it up to him this morning and it just exploded into an argument, him being defensive as usual.

"I'm so sick of you being so fucking controlling y/n!" he grunted, storming up the stairs. I scoffed and followed him closely "don't walk away from me Tom! You always do this, always running away when confronted with the truth!" I yelled.

"Because you take things so seriously! I just wanted time alone is that so hard to ask for?" he sighed heavily.

I grunted, him clearly not getting the point, "it's not that I don't want you to have alone time it's just that you're basically avoiding me!" I followed him into the bedroom, he was trying to find something to do to disract himself.

"Listen to me!" I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me, my eyes staring deeply into his, rage washing over them. "There's nothing to talk about!" he pushed past me, going into the bathroom.

I kept on yelling at him, following him into it, he turned around, hand on the doorframe and yelled "no wonder why your friend killed himself, he couldn't fucking stand being around you and neither can I"

My heart shattered instantly, the memories of my best friend killing themselves, him being in my arms as he died.

LISTEN TO TV BY BILLIE EILISH PAST THIS POINT I SWEAR IT MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE

6 years ago my best friend Arnie died, he was a gentle soul. He was gay and was heavily bullied about it, drowned in the toilets, food thrown at him, followed home. Arnie had learned to have thick skin, not allowing that to get to him, he knew they were just miserable with their lives and I loved that about Arnie.

The last straw for Arnie was when he was raped at a house party in 2008, the last time I saw him happy was when we seperated, I was hooking up with a random boy and he wished me goodluck. When I finished and tried to find Arnie, he was sprawled across a bed, bleeding from his back side.

I rushed to his aid and discovered that he was raped. Arnie was different after that, didn't insult back, was super quiet, didn't hang out with me after school like we usualy did.

I tried to offer help but nothing worked. One day I went to his house, he wasn't answering my calls or texts and his parents were out of town for the week. I found it weird that the door was unlocked, I went inside and into his bedroom.

I wish I didn't see what he had done, everyday it replays in my mind. I have nightmares about it every few nights.

I walked into his bathroom, he was in the bathtub, wrists on the edge of the tub, cut so deeply. I stood there for a second, shocked, trying to take in what I saw. After 10 seconds I screamed, running to him and holding him tightly, examining his wounds. 7 deep cut wounds, he was bleeding so much, the bathroom tiles covered in them.

My knees smudged the blood around as I held him, sobbing uncontrollably. "No no no..arnie you're ok.." I whispered, stroking his hair gently. He looked at me briefly, the life draining from his eyes "i'm sorry...i love you.." he muttered before taking his last breath, dying in my arms.

I screamed for him, my vocal cords ready to burst. Some neighbours called the police from my screaming, they came in and rushed to the scene, practically ripping me off Arnie.

"No! No no no! He'll be ok!" I sobbed, trying to get back to him, "ARNIE!" I screamed, the female officer held me close, stroking my hair softly, "he's gone baby...i'm sorry.." she whispered softly, I looked up at her, a tear falling down her cheek.

I buried my face into her chest, her vest cold and hard on my face.

They carried his body out, I couldn't bare to look and just stood there frozen. Later on the police women gave me a note he wrote, it read:

Dear my beloved Y/N,

I'm so sorry you have to read this, I'm sorry for even doing this. I know it's stupid and I know i'm supposed to have thick skin but I can't do it anymore, after what he did to me I haven't been able to eat, sleep or do anything properly, it runs through my head all the time, that memory of what he did never leaves my memory. It's driving me crazy Y/N, I wanted to stay strong for you, I wanted us to grow up and see each other get married, have kids, go through breakups together, live our 20s to the fullest, party like theres no tomorrow but I can't do it anymore. I wanted to be your best friend forever, be friends until we die, but I guess my fate is early. You know I love you more than life itself, you showed me it's ok to be me. You helped and guided me through everything but it's time for me to go, I love you and I'll be watching over you. Keep being your weird self and never forget me

Your soulmate, Arnie.

My heart was shattered into a million pieces, I still have that note to this day, I can't leave the house without it near me.

I got a tattoo of the last line, in his handwriting, 'your soulmate, arnie'. (inspired by evieskiess book my one and only <3)

BACK TO PRESENT:

My eyes widened, heart breaking into a million pieces, the heartbreak from that night coming back. My body went stiff, frozen in place. Unable to say anything.

Toms face instantly softened, he rushed towards me and started to apologise profusely, "oh honey no..i'm so sorry, I was just mad and I wasn't thinking straight, you know I didn't mean it", I looked at him, a stray tear falling down my cheek.

"Don't touch me.." I whispered softly, pushing him off me and walking to the bed, sitting on it. I bursted out into tears, sobbing uncontrollably, the tears unable to stop. All the pain I had tried to forget coming back.

He rushed to my side and held me tightly, "no baby..I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry" his voice thick with emotion, I could tell he was telling the truth but I was just so shocked, so hurt by his harsh words.

"Why.." my voice broke slightly "why would you say such a thing.." I choked out a sob, covered my mouth with my hands, they were trembling violently.

"I don't know..it was an in the moment thing, I didn't mean it at all, I'm so sorry baby I will do anything to make it up to you I swear, I love you with all my heart" he started to cry, tears falling down his cheeks as he buried his face in my shoulder.

My heart ached at him crying, I really wanted to forgive him but my heart just couldn't. I stood up and sighed, "I'm sleeping on the couch.." he nodded, standing up and brushing stray hairs from my face, kissing my forehead softly.

"I love you baby..." he whispered before letting me go, I turned my head to look at him and sighed "i love you too.." before walking off to the living room.

I sat on the couch, staring into nothing, my heart heavy and my eyes red. I rolled up my sleeve and stared at the tattoo, grazing a finger over it. I grabbed the note from my pocket and held it against my chest, laying back onto the couch, slowly falling asleep.

A few hours later I was woken up by soft arms wrapping around my waist, holding me close. I turned around, placing the note in my pocket and looking up at Tom.

"I know you didn't mean it baby..but I'm still hurt" I mumbled, he nodded slowly "I know baby..I know..i'm so sorry" he rested his chin on my head, stroking my hair softly just like the female officer did. I felt comforted, safe in his arms, again, just like I felt with the female officer.

"Do you want to go back to bed schatz?" he said softly, I sniffled and nodded, getting up and holding his hand, walking towards our shared bedroom. I grabbed one of his shirts and put it on, slipping into bed.

He smiled softly and slipped behind me, pulling me closer and wrapping his strong arms around my frame, keeping me warm and safe. "I'll make it up to you..I swear" he sighed, kissing the top of my head lightly.

"I'll be home more, I'll take you to band practices, I'll take you out with me, I'll do anything for you baby, I'm sorry I neglected you, treated you so badly.." his voice shaky "I love you, you're my world, my beautiful wife, my light. I'll do anything it takes to change, anything at all" I slowly turned around again, looking up at him, looking into his eyes for any sign of deceit, but all that presented was sincerity. Pure honesty. His eyes soft and gentle, willing to do anything for me.

I tucked a stray stand behind his ear, kissing him softly. "I love you..thankyou for that.." I smiled softly.

"I've always wondered though, why do you always keep his note with you?" he tilted his head, genuinely curious. I chuckled softly, "I don't know, it's the only thing I have left of him, something to remember him by" I frowned, tears welling up in my eyes again, "it's a reminder to me that he loved me and to keep going without him" Tom winced at my pain, stroking my hair gently and nodding.

"I understand..I'll keep it safe for you always" he kissed me softly, I smiled "thankyou baby.." I muttered before falling asleep in his arms.

E/N: I sobbed so hard while writing this no joke

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdoll @syylss @ge-billsgf @miyukafujii @charliesgoodboy @20doozers @ballhair @bkaulitzlover

[deadbeatfox]

sometimes I want someone to.. look. Look at why i snap my teeth, but that would be selfish of me. I'm not asking for it to be an excuse. But it hurts when nobody ever considers why I react the way I do. Sometimes I want someone to acknowledge that I am hurt. That my hurt causes my reaction.

[bogcreacher]

What is Haunted's lore? She seems so interesting and i really wanted to know. Sorry if youve already explained it before!

This is… Not really spoilery but it is A Lot so I’m popping it under a read-more. 

!Content warning for implied infanticide and ableism! 

Haunted was raised in what I can only describe as a NightWing cult (not that normal NightWing groups aren’t already pretty cult-y, but this was like, full blown cult). They were empowered NightWings who upheld the typical ‘NightWing superiority’ belief and focused on honing their mental abilities in preparation for some vague Eschaton event they had predicted.  

Haunted is unempowered and was raised to believe this was a rare ‘defect’, with the older dragons around her imparting sentiments like “you’re sooooo lucky we were kind enough to keep your egg even though you were born Wrong. most dragons would’ve gotten rid of you the moment they knew you were Different, but we kept you cuz we’re so fucking nice and you owe us now for being so so nice and we are totally not above getting rid of you later if you become more trouble than you’re worth” and Haunted was like “cool I’m a baby” 

Cut to Haunted as a young adult in said cult - she’s mostly jaded about her upbringing, though there is an undercurrent of ‘oh God they’re going to Fucking Get Me’ that runs through her mind constantly. Despite this she has good friends and is. Surprisingly well-adjusted, all things considered??

(Also she was far from the only dragon who got Fucked Up by that environment (cause, yknow, cult!), many of her empowered peers have their own scars. Her suffering was unique but she was not unique in her suffering, yknow?)

Things really went south the night Stygian was kidnapped and someone tried to follow through on the silent ‘we saved you, we can just as easily get rid of you’ promise that had haunted her her whole life. Cue story!