#dick is having a wtf moment

[rinriniisthekatch]

This was not in Dick's plans today. Seriously, it was his one day off and all he wanted to do was bug the shit out of Jay and relax in the comfort of his own home before heading to the manor and practically beg for Alf's good food.

All Dick got was being kidnapped with another person and Riddler's goons. No blindfolds, hands cuffed and tied with a rope. Wow, they really didn't want them to escape today. It's time to just wait for his brothers... maybe B, too.

"So, is Fashion Disaster #3 gonna do something with us, or are we just sitting here to look like two pretty birds?" Dick didn't recognize the voice, but he did snort.

"Quiet." One of the goons demanded as he hit the other guy in the face with the gun.

"You know, you told me to talk once, and now you're telling me to shut up? How does that work? Cause I can totally make an echo." Oh god, this civilian is taunting the goons. Sir, we are still tied, and they can kill us.

Is he... he is! He's humming, Baby Shark! OK Dick, don't laugh. Don't laugh. Hold it in. You can do it. Fuck. No, he can't. Dick took a deep breath as he attempted to regulate his breathing to not laugh at all. Cause, oh my god, this guy is making him want to laugh!

"So... how's it going? Besides being tied up like a domninatrix waiting for us to loosen up." Dick looked at the other guy. He was cute and fucking hilarious. Warm ice blue eyes and shaggy crow black hair.

"Oh, you know hanging out. Trying not to die from laughter. Could be worse." Dick grinned.

"See! That's what I'm saying...! People need to loosen up around here. How do you feel like breaking out?" The smirk on the other man's face screamed menace.

This is the type of person who Dick watches out for while being a cop. The other guy gave him a look. He had said that aloud. Whelp. Too late now.

"Bro. My record is clean-ish. But like sometimes my family is all kind of crazies. Mad scientists types. Genetics, y'know?" Dick still didn't know this man's name.

Dick cackled, "You're a scientist?"

The other man smiled widely, "Engineer for WE actually." Dick noticed the man's hands were free now. The cuffs and rope weren't cut, but he somehow got out anyway.

"Oh, really? How long have you been working at WE?"

"Hey! I said, be quiet! Now, shut up and stop talking!"

The smaller man huffed, proceeded to grab the goon by the gun, flip him forward, and then kicked him in the face, knocking him out.

Dick blinked, "How..? Wha-"

"Like I asked, do you wanna break out? I'll forgive you for being a cop and a date?"

Yeah... "You know what, why not?"

[pup-pee]

daily reminder that bart wearing nailpolish is canon & he does let others paint them 4 him

[averbaldumpingground]

Life almost disappears, those summer afternoons spent reading in the park, your head half-leaning on his shoulder. Those mornings in the spring, a little late for work.

It didn't matter then, the way he took two sugars in his coffee. The way you let your hair grow out too long.

But these, the memories we keep, crammed in a shoebox full of polaroids, saved somewhere on a half-forgotten hard drive, they're what remains behind. They're what your sister finds, the weekend that she helps you pack your life.

And then it's sitting on the couch, your kitchen stuff already wrapped in paper. It's styrofoam containers, soda cans. It's wine that she's already drinking from the bottle.

And you can't figure out whose silhouette that was, who showed up to your party with a boa. And she is pretty sure her ex has kids.

But maybe that's why you and I keep postcards. Somebody's bow tie, paperclips, that bit of string.

They don't remind us of some other time, exactly. They're pieces of the people that we were, they're feelings that we'd wanted to hold on to.

[polyamorouspunk]

I love it, but would also probably start it with “as per our prior agreement” or something.

Will do.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Imagine the batkids fuck up major and a batdad had to step in and clean up their mistake

Everyone kinda embarrassed because of their blunder and Jason is lashing out to protect himself from shame

Dick is joining is cause well he feels bad about it being his idea

Now Tim is arguing too

Damian wants to feel involved and u can’t convince me other wise

Bruce is trying ti make a point about safety thats just fully derailed

Anyway Danny as Fenton is just there in the background around all the bad guys he took out before Bruce actually got there like “awkward” but the moment he tries to just tippytoe his way out Bruce turns to point at him “and don’t think you are getting out of this. Your grounded too”

He just freezes. Can batman do that? Is he legally allowed to do that? Wait what does Batman mean by grounded?!!? Whats his move here.

“Everyone in the batmobile we will discuss this more in the morning”

Oh ok thats his move. Ok yea Batman just grounded him. He better go.

So they r having the ride home and everyone is sulking and Danny is just there confused but doesn’t say anything because hes probably tired and it’s batman wtf you gonna do.

So they are at the cave and Danny finally just “so can I call my family to tell them I wont be home tonight?”

You everyone just stops. And slowly turns to face him. “Ah yea dumb question. I guess uhhh no phones huh?” No one moves. Everyone is pretty shocked. Cause one bruce kidnapped some kid. Two theres a civi in the batcave. Three bruce kidnapped some fucking kid. Four some random kid just got in the car with them. Five holy fuck bruce kidnapped some kid.

Breaks over enjoy post

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Went for a walk w the bf today and he said he's starting to better understand the sort of stuff I've gone through with my dad and his gf and the effects that it still has on me today

[bandgie]

I legit had this thought last night-

Who in skz would most likely fold/find it hella attractive when seeing their partner smile/enjoying themselves during sex?

most

chan - he's a simple guy. if you're having a good time, he's having a good time. he needs to see that you're enjoying yourself, makes everything 100x better

changbin - he's such a giving lover, wtf is the point of making love if you're not into it? if you're not having a good time, tell him so he can do everything in his power to see that beautiful smile

felix - he would do anything in his power to see those pearly whites. you just look so good smiling in general, and if you're so fucked that all you can do is grin he's fucking you harder

seungmin - he's really focused on you during sex, so seeing that smile on your face makes him really prideful. esp if you're looking at him right in the eyes, he smiles with you. super cute moment

minho - it kind of throws him for a loop to see you a smile. like 'whats wrong?' but he quickly puts it together that you're just feeling really good and he teases you about it

hyunjin - he loves seeing you smile but I think he prefers watching your face twist in pleasure. mouth open and eyebrows crossed. smiling is always cute and adorable to him but he doesn't really smile during sex himself. afterwards yes

jeongin - jeongin gives good dick and it's so easy to cream on cock within the first few thrusts. he likes to hear you moan and mewl but smiling is just? cool? like low-key unsettling for him but he just has to get used to the fact that he just fucks you too good that you can't help it

han - he's trying so hard to not cum that he doesn't even notice. he's screwing his eyes shut and biting his lips with his hips shaking just trying to keep his orgasm at bay while your smiling up at him. it's more-so just so cute watching him try so hard rather than him fucking you good tbh.

least

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I am going FERAL over this imagine:

So basically Bruce brings reader home to be his new daughter/the boys' new sibling but Uh Oh! They now want you carnally and reader is just like "you said you wanted me as a daughter/sibling, wtf is this" and being their platonic darling is better than being shared between them romantically so reader tries to come off as innocent and child/sibling coded by being like "yeah I've never actually kissed or dated anyone before aren't I just so innocent" and the boys are like :)))

So then Dick says you can call him your boyfriend "just to feel it out" and Tim starts blatantly stealing your panties and Jason says he can give you your 1st kiss so you can "practice" with him and Bruce offers to teach you how to touch yourself and (and him) and when you try to walk it back cause the boys are being Freaks they're in their delulu era so eventually you end up tied to the bed with the boys and Bruce drawing straws over who gets to take what 1sts (like 1st date, kiss, virginity, ect).

And Damien is just in the background absolutely SEETHING cause the the boys and Bruce's Horny Time keeps interrupting his Mommy Time with the reader

And reader using Damien as kind of a shield cause what are they going to do, feel you up in front of a CHILD? Like just, "Stay Platonic :))"

Just that kind of pseudo incest makes me Feel Things (*/∀＼*)(///∇///)

I'd love your thoughts/a fic based on this! Ty ❤️

TW: Brief mentions of pseudo incest(y) scenarios/behavior, manipulative tactics, yandere tendencies

(Okay so I’ll answer this with my thoughts for right now.)

I know I primarily write incest(y) related topics for my Game of Thrones/ASOIAF stuff but I have been tempted to/curious about branching it out into some of the other fandoms I write for 👀. (I’ve had a few ideas rolling around in my noggin for a bit if anyone is interested.) So I would be willing to give this a try. I’m down to experiment with some new stuff, within reason of course.

I imagine the Reader being older (probably 19-23), maybe even having been a runaway of sorts or not having a very stable home life, so when they’re given the ‘offer’ to become part of the family they’re looking to fulfill a familial void they’ve never experienced or have forgotten how it’s felt like. I definitely see Bruce and the rest of the boys keeping a very close eye on the Reader before they decide to finally bring them into their family, basically full on stalking them from the moment they caught their attention (you know how the Batfam works). It wouldn’t be a surprise if even before the Reader was with them physically that the boys developed a more carnal desire for them. At first, their intentions were completely platonic, but with all the lengthy observing and information gathering of their supposed-to-be-new-family-member eventually something changed in how they all saw their darling.

I really see the change in their obsession starting with either Dick or Tim first. Especially regarding some accidental or purposeful peeping Tom foolery. I feel like Bruce would be the last to fall victim to the change in direction or at the very least he’s the last one to admit to it. If Damian is younger than I see his obsession staying strictly platonic, but if he were much older than I could see him involving himself to the same depths as his family.

At first, I see things happening subtly. Knowing that at the very least a few of them are already in an obsessive-romantic headspace in regards to their darling before they even physically become part of the family the guys would try to be as welcoming as possible without revealing their true intentions. They don’t want to scare you off right away, they want you to walk into it semi-willingly at least. But the interactions with the Reader would show something else. The lingering touches, the being much closer to you than really necessary, the heated grazes over your clothes here and there that leave you wondering if that actually happened or not. I also kind of like the other members not being fully aware of each other’s change in obsession, everyone giving each other the side eye until it sets in and then all out war of who gets the darling to themself unfolds only to eventually end up with them working together and agreeing to share. That’s when Bruce’s heel-turn is revealed.

Once things get truly amped up, the interactions with the Reader really begin to escalate. The boys would walk around shirtless more often, all of them trying to get their darling to look at them, to really look at them. Eventually, it’s not just them being shitless but either them in nothing but their underwear or nothing at all. They start out as accidents but eventually it’s pretty loud and clear that the guys want you to see them, all of them, to even touch them and feel them to your hearts content. But thats not all, of course it’s not. The touching of their darling only gets all the more intense, to the point that you know damn well that they’re touching you and they want to leave you wanting for more. So much more. The Reader’s innocence and lack of experience would only spur them on even more. They absolutely thrive off of it. They all want to be your first, your first everything. There will be a lot of secret ‘lessons’ being given behind closed doors and telling of “Don’t tell Batdaddy or he’ll get real mad.” “Don’t let Jay know, or he’ll want to punish you for not doing this with him.” “Let this be our secret, (Name). Something just for you and me.” “Can’t tell anyone about this or they’ll ruin it for the both of us.” And they only get even worse from there.

I can’t see Alfred being okay with this in any situation, whatsoever. I think he especially would feel like Bruce and the other boys completely took advantage of the Reader and he would try his best to aid them in trying to keep up with the platonic intention of this entire fiasco. He would be a total cockblock, even going as far as helping Damian in his cockblocking endeavors. Alfred’s intention would be to play both sides so he knows how to help the Reader when it comes to Bruce and the others but it wouldn’t take too long for them to figure out that Alfred is working against them. Like, Alfred was all for the familial-platonic obsession but when things started getting more romantic he was ready to shut that shit down ASAP. You can’t tell me he hasn’t, at least a few times, locked Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim out of the house to give the Reader some peace and give Damian his much deserved allotted time with them.

Speaking of Damian, he is a menace (as per usual) but even more so than normal. He really doesn’t take too well to the new direction of his father’s and brothers’ obsession for the Reader. He thinks it’s pretty messed up but he sincerely likes and cares about the Reader and he wants them to stay, he wants them to continue being a part of the family forever so he’ll let some things slide. Some. He even may be willing to look the other way when it eventually comes to Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim baby-trapping the Reader if it means this whole ‘family’ thing becomes set in stone with the arrival of a new ‘sibling’. But for the most part, at least early on, Damian would be a huge pain in the ass for the other family members. He feels like he needs to step in to save his darling from the others and their ulterior motives. He’s all his parental/older sibling figure needs, at least at that point. He may even try to runaway with them to keep them safe from the others. Hell, he may even get his mother involved if he was desperate enough, especially if he saw the Reader as a parental figure. Or maybe even another Justice League member to either adopt him and the Reader so that he could have that family experience he was promised with the Reader. Or he would be completely content just living the rest of his life just him and the Reader, platonically of course.

It would either take Bruce or Dick to have a talk with Damian to get him to come to some agreement to allow them to continue with what they’re doing in regards to the Reader. I think Dick would get away with manipulating Damian much better than Bruce could. I think Damian would have some opinions about his father especially throughout this whole situation. Especially since I see Damian being very observant of how Dick, Jason and Tim are behaving towards the Reader early on and picking up on the fuckery taking place, even going as far as telling Bruce about it under the belief his father would be on his side (not ever fathoming the idea of his father also doing similar things to the Reader without him ever knowing). As far as Damian knew his father was completely platonic towards the Reader, as a ‘father’ should be. Right? So understandably Damian feels not only betrayed but also disgusted when he finds out that his father was and still is taking part in, acting in a similarly depraved fashion as the others.

Eventually, I could see them coming together and being one big ‘happy’ family. But it sure as hell comes at a price. (Usually the Reader’s freedom and sense of self outside of the obsession they’ve been dragged into, to drown in alongside their yandere(s).)

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

If you want to support me and read my other works that won't be on Tumblr, you can always do it on my Boosty~

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairings: Ayato, Kaeya, Thoma, Neuvillete, Tartaglia x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, modern AU, established relationships, intimate photos, masturbation.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. P1Harmony - Do It Like This

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

Hey! I think you all miss the dick pic. Although no one asked me to do this, but you don't need to ask me even once to bring you something to eat! Enjoy your meal ( ˘▽˘)っ♨

✦ Ayato

You'll have to try very hard, having endured all the cunning tricks of this man, in order to get a response photo from him immediately after he asks you to do your own.

Initially, it sounded like another joke, very typical for Ayato, but he was very surprised when you took it for a real request, pleasing the man with your piquant photo at perhaps not the most appropriate moment when he was at an important meeting. Fortunately for him, Ayato has enough self-control not to show how aroused he was by the image of your seductive body in front of strangers, but unfortunately for you, he just couldn't resist taking advantage of this opportunity.

It's always fun to play on your guilt, but when adding to your favorite collection of photos is at stake, a special excitement wakes up in Ayato. Of course, although you continue to play along with your lover from time to time, you yourself begin to get a taste. How much longer will he last, continuing to read your dirty messages and looking at the new photos that you took for him, before he snaps and just leaves work only to come home and fuck you to a state in which you'll not be able to not only type, but even pronounce his name? Ayato knows perfectly well what you are doing, so he staunchly withstands your attacks, believing that you yourself don't realize what you have just signed up for.

When he gets home, you better immediately wait for him on your knees without extra clothes, hoping that this will at least smooth out your future punishment a little, because if you think that Ayato will let you cum as fast as you want, then you're damn wrong.

As for his photo for you… Perhaps you still don't deserve to get them enough, but he'll definitely choose the most unfortunate moment for you to put you in an awkward position when one day a charming and insanely seductive photo of his naked body and an excited dick appears in your dialogue, to which you'll not have access. Next time you'll think twice before playing along with this scheming man, but isn't that why you fell in love with him?

✦ Kaeya

art by @cheng25598

Kaeya doesn't even know what would be better, to discourage you with his unexpectedly racy photo or to start by forcing you to do it? But he's so carefree and lazy that he doesn't think long before just sending you a photo of his horny cock while he's dying of boredom waiting for you at home on his day off. Of course, he doesn't care at all that you at work and how, perhaps, all the colleagues around you heard your surprised squeak when you opened a dialogue with your lover.

This is the first time Kaeya has decided to have fun with something like this, expecting you to be embarrassed for sure. It pisses you off that he's right, and your face is inevitably blushing now, while you, trying to look as non-suspicious as possible, run out of your office, hastily closing yourself in the bathroom.

[Y/N]: Wtf, Kaeya?! I'm at work!

[Kaeya]: I just missed you;)

His carelessness will drive you to your grave someday, but you bite your lower lip, suddenly meeting the reflection of your flushed face in the mirror. You'd be lying if you said you didn't want to be at home right now, punishing your annoying lover properly, which is so obvious from the way moisture begins to accumulate between your thighs, settling on the fabric of your underwear. There are still a few hours until the end of the working day, but you're so infuriated by the ease with which Kaeya manipulates you once again, involving you in his dishonest game when you nervously glance at the door, taking a photo in the mirror, as close as possible to the concept of «sexy» in such an environment.

You were about to put your phone in your pocket, sending your reply photo with the indifferent caption: «Glad for you. See ya in two hours», expecting it to calm him down for a while, but didn't even expect to instantly hear the notification sound.

[Kaeya]: I don't think a photo in underwear will be enough to compare to what I sent u:( Or are u afraid that one of your colleagues will see what we doing?

[Kaeya]: If I were wit u right now, you'd have to hide a lot more obscene things.

[Y/N]: Huh? Do u really think u'd make me undress in front of u in the bathroom at my job?

You really don't know how Kaeya do it, but for some reason you fall for his provocations every time, now feeling the heat that you can no longer ignore burning your lower abdomen more and more, while your eyes slide over the most obscene lines that you've ever read, even considering that what kind of person you decided to connect your life with.

But one thing is for sure — now Kaeya's goal is no longer to dispel his own boredom, but to make you cum in one of the cramped booths while he enjoys driving you crazy with his unsurpassed talent for eloquence, describing in detail how he would fuck you in each in the corner of a small bathroom.

Next time, perhaps Kaeya should pay you a personal visit.

✦ Thoma

art by @sonomi_rap5

Poor Thoma almost dropped out of his hands all the groceries that he decided to buy before returning home when he felt the vibration of the phone in his pocket, almost sure that this notification was from your message. You often write to him, knowing what time his working day ends, and asking him to grab something from the store, but this…

The confused man hastily turns away from all the people passing by, huddled in the corner of one of the shelves, when an attachment to your playful message appeared in front of his astonished green eyes, which said that you were looking forward to him at home. Is that new underwear?.. Thoma feels his cheeks flush with a bright blush, and his heart is pounding so wildly in his chest as he desperately tries to put aside all obscene thoughts. But this is hardly possible. You are so charming, adorable, divine in this photo, which he instantly saves before fixing his mesmerized gaze on him for a few more moments, feeling his cock harden and rest against his thigh.

«I'll be home soon!», — is the only message you get before Thoma disappears from the online, and you can't help but chuckle softly, imagining with what excitement and embarrassment he'll pay at the checkout.

As for him… Your gallery has been filled with his photos, perhaps not as soon as you would like. On the one hand, teasing a nice guy like Thoma is very funny, but on the other hand, you didn't want to embarrass him by luring him into your entertainment, which is not even the fact that he'll like it. But still, at some point you think that your relationship is strong enough not to collapse from one of your innocent… okay, obscene requests.

You'd like to see the look on Thoma's face when he saw the message with your dirty request. After a couple of minutes of silence, you were about to say that it was all just a joke, before you hear the notification sound, hurriedly grabbing your phone.

You have no idea where he hid to quickly take a cute photo for you, in which you can barely see anything because of the darkness in the room that Thoma chose for the photo shoot, but it's so charming that such a modest guy like him went to such obscenities for you, even at the risk to be noticed at your own work.

Thoma gets incredibly nervous when he doesn't get an answer from you for a long time, but he frantically looks at the inscription that you are typing something. Oh, should he have taken a better photo, or was it just a joke that he took seriously? But all his doubts and worries fade into the background, giving way to even greater embarrassment than what Thoma experienced when he received such a piquant request from you, when you send him a photo in response, but this time without clothes. The accompanying message contains detailed descriptions of how much you miss him and that you can't cope with how you miss your beloved boyfriend next to you to quench your thirst to feel his cock from that cute photo that he sent you, inside yourself.

What are you doing with him?.. It should be illegal to corrupt such an innocent guy in this way, but Thoma is really happy that he got the most beautiful girl in the world who is able to make him commit follies, just like he is now locking the door of some dark storeroom in his office, unable to cope with the desire that has captured him body and mind.

He doesn't know why you like to embarrass him like that, but… maybe he's starting to like it.

✦ Neuvillette

It's not that Neuvillette didn't know how to use a phone at all, but let's be honest, this skill wasn't even necessary for him until the day you appeared in his life. Making the necessary calls and occasionally using banal SMS was all he was capable of, so using messengers was something new for him, which, of course, Neuvillette needed your help to figure out.

At first, both of you just exchanged innocent short messages, because, you knew, he couldn't often be distracted from his work due to an increased sense of responsibility, but one day a fleeting thought came to your bright head, which you managed to grasp and even decide that it would really be funny to just send Neuvillette your candid photo in the middle of the working day.

And really, what will he do about it?

Neuvillette is so sweet in his seriousness and responsible approach to literally everything in this world, which makes him a wonderful partner, but your hands have always itched so irrepressibly to throw something like that, knocking a stoically calm man out of his rut.

When you saw that Neuvillette had read the message, but had been silent for ten minutes, you almost thought that he had just decided to ignore your prank, but you had no idea what was really going on. After opening your message, Neuvillette just froze, not understanding what he should reply or do. It's the first time this has happened to him, and he's really discouraged.

The most respected and responsible judge doesn't say a word, just staring at his phone for ten minutes? This definitely doesn't go unnoticed. Although he is not particularly sociable, worried colleagues still wonder if everything is all right with him, finally bringing the poor confused Neuvillette out of his stupor. His head really had thoughts of consulting with someone on this topic, but he decides that this question is still too intimate to ask it to an insufficiently close person, so he has no choice but to solve this puzzle on his own and briefly unsubscribe to you that he'll be at home soon, before silently leaving the office.

To say that you were shocked to see Neuvillette on the doorstep of your shared house as soon as possible after receiving his message is to say nothing. But what struck you even more was when he hurriedly threw off his suit, with all the seriousness that only he is capable of, silently climbing onto your bed.

— Neuvi, what are you doing? Why aren't you at work? — you interrupt the man when he was about to throw off the rest of his clothes, before pausing, giving you a puzzled look.

— I got your photo.

— Yes… and?

— I thought you wanted to have sex, so I came home.

— Is that all?..

— Yes. Isn't that what you wanted? Why are you laughing?

p.s. After half an hour of an embarrassing but laugh-provoking conversation in which you explained to Neuvillette that couples sometimes exchange intimate photos while away from each other, it seems that the man finally realized for what purpose you committed such an uncharacteristic act for you.

Well… everyone learns from their mistakes. Next time, you might be lucky to see his inept first intimate photo if you tell him how to switch to the front camera before that.

✦ Tartaglia

art by @eriimyon

For both of you, sharing any photos when you are away from each other is quite common, but Childe was still the first to dilute your usual correspondence, accompanied by cute and funny photos of your dog and what you cooked for dinner, with something more piquant.

Your lover, without any hesitation, asked you to take a photo for him when, on another of his long business trips, he felt too lonely away from you, and didn't even think about what he might receive a refusal to his request. You can say that you are both on some kind of your common comfortable wave, so you are happy to approach the task set before you even with some degree of creativity, making a photo of your breasts covered with whipped cream for Childe.

«This could be your dessert after dinner;)», — Childe is both touched, excited and saddened by your funny photo caption. He would like to be next to you to enjoy such a tempting dessert, but all he can do is take a photo for you in return.

[Childe]: Unfortunately, i didn't have cream next to me, so this is all the dessert u can count on!

You would have laughed at his joke if the dick on his photo that Childe took for you didn't look even more attractive than any sweet thing you can imagine. This is the first time that you have to describe in words all the things that you would do with this amazing cock, but it also had its own charm.

Your correspondence eventually ended in a rather heated conversation on the phone, which also came to naught as soon as the degree of tension between the two of you was so high that the only thing coming from the speakers of your phones was only moans and heavy sighs, while you were already in complete disarray, too lost in your own obscene fantasies. Perhaps Childe has never in his life masturbated with such pleasure as to the sounds of your sweet voice, holding in his head that image of you that was captured in a racy photo taken especially for him, just as you have never experienced an orgasm from how damn sexy his muffled moans sound in the speaker of your phone.

Of course, this is still so insanely little, but since then you both have a new common entertainment that you can do on lonely evenings to get over the separation. On the other hand, you have seriously opened a real Pandora's Box, now putting the idea in Childe's head that he can tease you in this way, so be prepared for the fact that one day you will receive a dirty message from him or even just a photo at the most inopportune moment (although no one said that you can't return the favor).

p.s. if u know the author of the rest of the art, write me their nicknames in private messages, and i'll add them in the post, because I have been saving these arts for a long time ago and now cannot find their owners:(

[hannieehaee]

Svt ot13 reaction when you asked them if you could tie a bow on IT and take pictures with 🤭👀

18+ / mdi

asking if you can tie a bow on it and take a picture

content: established relationship implied, mention of dicks, etc.

wc: 487

a/n: very much would like to see them actually react to this lmao

masterlist

seungcheol -

confused but also a little turned on for some reason (he doesnt get it either). hesitantly agrees to it under the condition that you take care of his hardness afterwards.

jeonghan -

will only do it if you agree to wrap his favorite part of yourself with a bow and let him take a picture. doesnt even question your request as long as he gets something out of it too.

joshua -

he knows of the trend and he was kind of expecting you to ask. teases you about it by acting scandalized by it, only to eventually give in (teasing you even further in the process).

jun -

somehow i feel like he'd already know about this trend and he'll just have been waiting for you to bring it up. thinks its cute in a weird way, claiming you must like his dick if you're wanting to dress it up and take pics for posterity.

soonyoung -

turned on by the mere suggestion of you and his cock in the same sentence. will ask you to send him the picture after (he doesnt explain why).

wonwoo -

calls you a weirdo and scoffs with a chuckle, immediately denying you. if you whine and pout long enough he'll compromise and offer for you to wrap a bow around his bicep instead.

jihoon -

adamantly says no. at first it'll be a no bc he finds it weird and also does not want to risk anyone else seeing his dick, but then it becomes a no bc it makes him feel awkward.

seokmin -

you'd already wrapped bows on his head, waist, around his biceps, whats another one on his dick? he'll do it just to please you, finding it both funny and kind of cute how you're dolling him up in every way possible.

mingyu -

a little cocky about it, teasing you about how badly you love his dick. will agree to it, but only if he gets to orchestrate everything from the lighting to the color of the bow.

minghao -

calls you a weirdo and insists on not doing it. after you drop it for a few days, you'll randomly receive a text containing a picture of his cock wrapped in a bow with a very deadpan text attached such as 'there.'

seungkwan -

"what's wrong with you?" would be his immediate response, throwing you a look of disgust. he'd find it genuinely weird and say no. it'd take a LOT of convincing to get him to do it.

vernon -

chuckles incredulously bc wtf? assumes it's some weird trend you saw online so he doesn't question it too much. does it just to entertain you.

chan -

a question mark manifests above his head the moment you ask him, completely confused as to why you're asking and not knowing how to react. in the end he'll say yes, always willing to do anything for you, but will end up getting horny for some reason.

[shankschewtoy]

Hiiii. So this is my first time requesting or anything so I’m kinda really nervous??? Anyways, I love your crack fics, I literally giggle non stop and they bring light into my soul.

So, that being said, I have a request. Could you do something with Crocodile and Ace (and whichever other characters) reacting to their s/o having a spider or some type of scary bug on their back? Idk if your can go anywhere with this but hey, it’s worth a shot.

Okay that’s it bye bye have a good day :)))

a/n - omg I’m so glad I can bring light into your life 😭🫶 literally my goal when I’m writing this stuff 💜 oml bro crocodile is afraid of bugs I just know he is 💀 that’s why he had robin, so she could handle them for him

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack, crocodile would leave you with the the bug just to run as far away as possible 💀🫶

- pls if he sees a single bug in his house he’d move out of his mansion and go to another sea of ocean 💀

- don’t get me wrong he takes you with him of course and makes sure you’re protected from those heinous insects. Get ready for loads of bug spray and pest killing chemicals, because your house is going to smell like that for at least a couple weeks 😃🫶

- so one day, you’re relaxing on the sofa, listening to some ambient music, the lights a bit dimmed, with the shutters open just enough for some light to shine through without being too harsh. It was a weekend, so it was due time for some relaxation!

- crocodile had just gotten finished with his work, and finally he’d get to spend some quality time with you. As he walked over, getting ready to join you on the couch, he froze.

- his eyes were locked onto your back, his breathing completely stopped, his body stiff as a board

- a tiny black speck on your back was… moving. Could that be a- SPIDER? You turned around because you heard footsteps, and you looked confused to see crocodile just- frozen, with wide, disgusted, fearful eyes as if you just committed some heinous crime against humanity

- “….Crocodile? You ok?”

- …

- “Hello???? Earth to crocodile?”

- “Y/n. You know I love you right?“

- “…What?”

- “Then you know why I must do this.”

- “What do you me- hey where’re you going?!”

- to go bag (he has one prepared for this exact situation bruh 💀) materializes out of thin air, then cue crocodile skedaddling out the door without explaining or warning you like a scared selfish asshole

- “CROCODILE IT’S NOT EVEN THE SIZE OF MY FINGERNAIL.”

- “IT’S AN INSECT Y/N.”

- “SO YOU’D LEAVE ME WITH THE FUCKING BUG SO YOU COULD GET AWAY FIRST-? 😭”

- “..well of course I would’ve sent someone back for you-“

- “SENT SOMEONE?!”

- see now ace is afraid of bugs too. But he’s not a selfish asshole like crocodile 💀 bro would at least try and protect you while screaming and sobbing

- you two were relaxing, snuggling together and watching the sun set on the deck of the Moby dick. It always never failed to amaze you with how many colors spread across the sky.

- ace absolutely adored these moments with you. It made him feel so- alive but also dead at the same time. Because how could one be this happy and in love with you?

- he looked down at you, and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, and that’s when he saw… it

- cue the scream of a demon plus a kid who just saw a clown

- “WTF ACE WHAT?!”

- “BABE- DO NOT MOVE. THERE’S A BIGASS BUG ON YOUR HEAD.”

- “EXCUSE ME?!”

- ace grabbed his shoe in a panic, and aimed directly at your head. But since he was so afraid, he was closing his eyes.. as he was swinging to kill the bug.. and he ended up slapping the absolute shit out of you instead of the bug

- “Phew, think I got it- Y/N?! WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OK?!”

- “WDYM AM I OK YOU SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME-“

- “Sorry.. OH SHIT I MISSED-“

- “NONONONO ACE WAIT-“

- you got hit five times before he actually got it. 💀🫶 I hope your brain isn’t damaged 😭

- luffy was one of those kids who collected beetles and watched them fight each other like it was the most intense battle he’s ever seen 💀

- so of course he’s not afraid of them. Bro likes them so much that he doesn’t know if the one piece is better or if beetles are better 😭

- luffy was rambling to you about the various different types of beetles, and which ones were the strongest in fights. He was giving you the WHOLE lowdown, their stats, weaknesses, special skills, traits, etc. 💀 you were surprised luffy had this level of knowledge on- anything really

- “Yeah so the atlas beetle can DEFINITELY take down the rhino beetle because of its really tough shell and- OH MY GOD-“

- “Huh-?! What’s wrong?!”

- “OMG OMG Y/N YOU HAVE AN ATLAS BEETLE ON YOUR HEAD!”

- “Luffy you better be joking. Is it even April yet?”

- “Nono it’s right here see?”

- he pulled it off your head and put it in front of your face. The way you froze, and the way your heart stopped, dropped down to your feet, and then climbed back up 😭

- you couldn’t even scream, you just got up and hauled ass away from whatever that abomination of a creature was

- “Y/n where are you going?! I have to show you how it fights!”

- “I’M PERFECTLY FINE NOT SEEING THAT LUFFY-“

- “But y/n they really like you! You’ve got a rhino beetle on your back too!”

- “WHAT?!”

- you legit stopped, dropped, and rolled 💀💀💀 poor robin was watching the whole thing transpire from really far away so she couldn’t hear the context of what the hell was happening 😭

a/n - bro I missed writing these. I’m a bit rusty tho 😂

[ghost-bxrd]

(okay so full disclosure i haven't read any dc stuff but ive been in the fandom for a while so i know the stuff pretty well, i have also slowly been coming up with prompts and i saw your prompts i thought i would send them to you in case they were decent, if they arent pls feel no pressure to respond :) )

so what if before the titans tower incident nightwing was visiting gotham and his grapple malfunctioned or snapped or smth and then all of a sudden he was just falling, cue the whole dead parent flashbacks, and then all of a sudden someone just caught him.

Red hood was patrolling crime alley when he saw nightwing get too close to his territory, so he followed at a distance too make sure he wasn't trying to pull some sort of trick, when he saw him fall. and fuck thats his big brother, so he runs, and saves him and how the hell is he going to explain this??

oh wow that angst is starting off GOOD!

Like, Dick’s split second of shock when the grapple catches and the line suddenly goes slack again, the swooping sensation of gravity pulling him towards the ground, and a short, hysterical moment to wonder if that’s what his parents felt when they died because— it’s not so bad. He expected there to be more… fear. Bust mostly he’s just sad because he knows Bruce and Tim and Alfred are going to be devastated.

And then there’s another body slamming into him mid air, and for a moment Dick thinks it’s got to be Bruce with the amount of muscle and body armor but he blinks and sees red (shit, shit, shit, Red Hood, this is bad)— but then the crime lord does something unexpected. He pushes off the side of a building in a startlingly familiar move and flips through the air. Something Dick does on the daily. Something Jason used to do with a stilted sort of grace. Something Tim is only just learning to get the hang of.

And suddenly Dick is livid.

Because Hood shouldn’t know how to do this. Nobody but him and Jason Tim should know how to do this. And the fact that Hood does… it can only mean Hood’s either been stalking them for much longer than he feels comfortable with, or——

Or somehow he must have learned from one of the three people ever to exist who know the technique.

Dick knows he didn’t teach Hood, and Tim would sooner break his own leg than help a crime lord…

But that only leaves Jason, and while it can’t be possible Dick can’t help the spark of traitorous hope he feels.

Meanwhile Jason, gesticulating with a gun: (shit fuck ok how do I salvage this ok I need to use this to my advantage somehow oh shit ok—) YOU ARE NOW MY HOSTAGE

Dick, who wasn’t planning on letting Hood leave before he gets some answers anyway: sure :)))

Jason: …what?

Dick: I said sure! Let’s go! You wanna cuff me?

Jason: … wtf?

[buttercup12233]

Alastor is such a Gary stu that wants everybody to know that he's "sCaRy" because he can have black eyes and red pupils, turn big, and shoot out tentacles. Like bro. That's not creepy. And most of his lines fucking suck. How does he know about modern slang? Didn't this guy die during the great fucking depression? Not to mention, this guy swears a whole lot. It would've been perfect if the only time he ever swore was when his staff got broken apart. That would've really shocked the audience. I wouldn't mind him saying "fuck" a few times, but when that shit becomes a common thing, that's a problem. Swearing wasn't common in the 1900's. So why is Alastor using it on a daily basis. He no longer stands out from the cast. He's just another edge lord. He says the most corniest lines too like omg everytime he says ONE embarrassing word, I have to pause from watching the show bc the guy gives me second hand embarrassment. He's trying so hard to be terrifying that it's not working. For some reason, Alastor just wants power.... I'm not sure if it was planned from the start, but the execution is dog shit in my opinion. Pilot Alastor was done better than this. The reason why pilot Alastor was so creepy and overall an amazing character, at least in my opinion, was because you didn't really know exactly how he was feeling, or what was going on inside his head. The whole point of him volunteering to 'help' Charlie run the hotel was that he could see sinners fail and give himself some entertainment. He even flat out admits it in the pilot. But then you just have that gut feeling that there's something more going on with Alastor. That he's probably planning something else than just finding entertainment. Let the 'him wanting power' be like a b plot if THAT was the case (explain why he even wants power too bc if he just WANTS it for the sake of it, then that's boring). And I think what was the most exciting thing about his character, was that he was mysterious. Notice how the only times he EVER used his power or lost his cool was when Angel Dust claimed that he could suck his dick, or when Sir Pentious interrupted his song and threatened to literally hurt him. I swear, this guy used his title as the radio demon for times when it was appropriate. That's what I loved about Pilot Al. He wasn't trying to be creepy unless it was needed. In this show, he desperately wants people to fear him. He even tries to pick a fight with everybody, even the ones who are kind to him. He's a complete asshole and a dickhead. And I'm just like "boo, fucking corny, bitch". Idk, man. It's pro just me. But I hate Alastor so goddamn fucking much. At least in the show. He gives me headaches, he's a Gary stu, and I can't believe this mf got away with talking trash to the KING OF HELL like holy SHIT. Why didn't his ass get humbled at the moment there? He just got freewill the whole time during season one without consequences. Besides Adam tearing his ass up.

Alastor is just so- ugh.

I beg for you guys to let me know if some of my points were invalid. I would actively listen to them. I was just in rage the whole entire time while writing this, so my mind was just clouded with 'wtf happened to the cool guy I once loved' and just...RAAAAAH. so please don't hesitate to speak out. I'm aware that not EVERYBODY will agree with what I say. But it's great to hear y'all's opinions about this. Thank you.

[livelaughlovesubs]

head empty, just the idea of worshipping his body while fucking fyodor so tenderly, he'd probably be a sobbing mess AWH MY BABY I LOVE HIM SM WTF😔🙏

(lets act like its not my first time on tumblr lol)

Yea nah, everything’s fine dw, I’ve got you >:)

Dom!reader x sub!fyodor (reader is gender neutral)

Warning: service dom, pegging (can be read as a dick), body worship, dacryphilia

It was another cloudless night, the sky a romantic painting filled with colours of the dark. The moon was bright, and the light reached your humble chambers. Like a tender blanket, that covered the space in front of you. Its slightly yellow tone illuminated your bedroom, and the rays hit the hair of the male. You noticed it very quickly, because his hair was black. The way it shone and sparkled on his skin was as if the moon was merely a decoration, an accessory of the main character. His hair had some purple elements now, it stood out since it matched his eye colour. Tonight was a dreamy night, a masterpiece of a century.

You caressed his cheeks with one hand, and stroke his hair with the other. Both his skin and locks felt silky and smooth, it was quite nice to the touch. Then you leaned down and kissed him tenderly, before pulling back with a gentle smile. Fyodor had a dazed look on his face, along with a faint blush covering his face. When you pulled back he tried to catch your lips, but you stopped him with your finger. He felt your touch moving downwards, first to his ears, then shoulders, chest and last but not least his waist. You stopped for a moment, holding his slim waist in your hands, watching him squirm minimal. A soft giggle slipped from you, followed by you reaching out for his thighs.

Fyodor sighed, letting you do whatever you wanted. With a swift movement you positioned yourself between his legs, hands still holding his thighs upwards. Then you lifted them onto your shoulder and kissed his inner thighs. His eyes shook a little, he stared at you with impatience. “A little longer.” You told him, before you started to suck and lick the spot you previously kissed. Another adorable sound escaped his throat, paired with him throwing his hand over his mouth in embarrassment.

You continued to caress him with the most tender movements, while he let out a breathless whimper. Once you reached his crotch, you skipped that part once again and adorned his belly with more smooches. He almost wanted to curse, was this your way of teasing him? Making him feel all hot and embarrassed like this? Why did you have to touch every nook and cranny of his body?

After you were done with him tummy, there were multiple dark spots. Marks, from you, that you left on his body. When fyodor stared down st them, he had to gulp and furrow his brows. Technically you did nothing but make a show, yet he was so needy now and his dick was standing up all proud. “Y/n…” the boy was about to beg you to do something, when you interrupted him, “so pretty, my love. You look beautiful tonight.” He didn’t know how to react to you suddenly complimenting him, so he stayed quiet. Now burying his face in his hands as his thighs trembled and dick twitched.

“You are so adorable fyodor, I love everything about you.” You began, as you repositioned yourself and poked his entrance with your dick. “..!? Wai-wait.. y/n.” He was so eager just moments before, but now you caught him off guard. “What is it, dear?” Your voice was filled with adoration and care, it felt like he didn’t deserve this, as if this wasn’t intended for him. On one hand it made him feel warm, hot even, on the other hand it’s burning, almost enough to hurt. Then you began pushing, hips moving forward as slow as possible. He felt you slowly penetrating him, feeling his rim getting stretched. You were filling him up so good that tears came to his eyes.

Suddenly you grabbed his hand, holding it tightly while you bottomed out. Fyodor squeezed yours whenever it got overwhelming, and soft tears rolled down his cheeks. “Good job, you did so well.” You whispered, then brought his hand to your lips and kissed his fingers, all while you started moving gently. Your hips were moving so little, it was like a wind breeze, despite all that the male felt like he was about to finish in any moment. A few more whines left him, legs trying to clench together but you were in between them. His hand trembled, you could feel that, even so you kept kissing it.

After a while you let go of his hand and pulled him in for a kiss, pressing your lips and hips against his. He yelped and moaned into your mouth, hands clasping around your neck with a shivering sensation coursing through his body. Your trusts became a little faster, almost not noticeably so, though for him it was too heavenly to manage. Just a little more and he would reach the edge, that’s what he thought, so he hugged you even tighter and kept letting out small whimpers of encouragement, “ah..ha-haah..uh, y/n..i’m close…” his little warning was barely audible, you almost didn’t hear it among his groans.

In addition to your already pretty fast trusts, you rubbed his nipples with your hands, determined to make him feel good. Fyodor’s back arched from the bed, sobbing in silence as he let you touch him all over. It was just too cute, his reactions to his voice and body, so much that you couldn’t help but kiss him again. While you did that, you cut off his air, making him gag a bit. More tears spilled, and you cooed at him, “shh, it’s alright my love, you can come.” Then you kissed his tears away, and held his hand again. The male bit his lower lip, almost enough for the skin to rip. His slim figure moving back and forth with each one of your poundings.

“Ha..haaah, aAah..!” You watched him gasp and pant, his hand clinching onto the sheets below him before he let out an especially loud moan. The next thing that followed was his sex twitching and white ropes of cum spurting out of him. His thighs shook terribly so, he also tried to close his legs again but to no avail. Head thrown back as waves of pleasure traveled through him. “aaAHHNgnN~!!” He was so loud when he came, you just had to smile at him. With careful motions, you helped him ride out his high and hold him close to you again. Fyodor hugged you back, still breathing unevenly as he mumbled, “hahh, y-y/n.. kiss me again.”

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: a Circus of Misunderstanding

Based of This and This which could be considered my clown AU

General premise if you don’t want to have to read the other two posts(though i recommend it): Danny, as a way of coping with his trauma from Freakshow and Circus Gothica, learned a lot about the circus to help him overcome his issues. He ended up REALLY getting into it as well as the history and craft of clowns. The man loves it, he’s obsessed, and after moving to Gotham, he abosolutely hates the Joker. Not just because of the Villain thing, but because he’s just bad at being a clown.

So Danny, having moved to Gotham, needed a place to live. Danny is not particularly concerned about crime, and he needs space to be able to move about and fly, so where would he set up? 

Crime alley? No. The rent is cheap but not enough space

A warehouse? Yes.  Big, he can move around, fly and store all his circus and clown memorabilia/ His only neighbors are either legitimate businesses that are closed at night or fronts for smugglers. They leave him alone and he leaves them alone until the Bats come bust them

So Danny, in love with the circus and with an entire warehouse to himself, fills it with circus and clown stuff. He has a tightrope, a trapeze, as well as posters and so many props for his systematic harassment of the Joker, because if he’s going to out clown him he needs props for it.

So Imagine, Danny, with his warehouse full of circus stuff, inviting a Gothamite to his place for the first time

I’m thinking Tim since Dick would actually love this, and Jason would just pull a gun on Danny. But just imagine the actual WTF moment most Gothamites would have seeing that much clown stuff in one location, Hell just imagine what the average person would do if they walked into your house and half of it was clown memorabilia. They’d wonder if the owner was a serial killer. In Gotham? With the Joker?? 

This puts Danny on a watch list faster than googling bomb making instructions and blueprints for the whitehouse.

Or just imagine a Bat ending up at the wrong warehouse doing a drug bust. Just Steph expecting a bunch of drug dealers only to be in an empty and dark warehouse with circus posters everywhere and an actual circus tent just in the middle of the place

[dxrksong]

Jason 13 au

PLOT WITH MEMES

-----

Jason: you ever have that moment where you're relaxing on a rooftop with a nice cup of tea.

Jason: and then you get kidnapped by your reanimated bicycle from the GZ?

Danny, desperately trying to steer: NOT HELPING JOHNNY!!!!!

Jason: I know.

The Bike: :)

------‐---

Jason: so what the hell am I supposed to do with zom?

Danny: considering they're the only thing keeping you alive rn? Not much

Jason: how the hell-right right, acting as a vein system....

Danny: in theory if you do manage to absorb the blob ghost, you won't have to deal with the rage anymore? That's a plus right?

Jason: I know we use them as snacks sometimes but they're also PETS, phantom!

Danny: wait, you're keeping it?

Jason: CaN YoU NoT SaY It lIkE ThAt?!

--------

Constantine: what the fuck......*walks out*

BatMan: ???

Constantine: Manor's haunted.

Bruce: *cocks gun* always has been

Constantine: WTF?!

Batman: yes?? I know??

Constantine: byyyeeee

Batman: Constantine get back here!

--------

Jason: shit. Goin' ghost! Damn you kid, for infecting me with your stupid phrase! *transforms*

Kon, Jon, and Superman: *physical and visual distress as they immediately scramble out of their chairs*

Jason: ??? What's wrong with you??

Jon: YOUR HEART JUST STOPPED!!!!

Jason: oh. OOH! Yeah, it does that.

Superfam: *visible distress and confusion*

-------

Danny @ Jack with a little dance: you are my daaaaaad YOU'RE MY DAD!! Boogie woogie woogie!

Jack: AWWWW DANNO!!! *shamelessly shedding tears* IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE YOU'VE MADE LITTLE JINGLES FOR US!!!

Jason:

Jason: hmm

[Later]

Jason: *slides into the batcave*

BatKids: ??

Jason: *DEEP INHALE*

Jason, trying to mimic Danny's dance: YOU ARE MY DAAAAD! YOU'RE MY DAD!! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!!!!

Batkids:

BatMan:

Batman: "Dad.....?"

-------

Batman: check out how hard I can cry! SUSHAUAABSIDBESJDDKEDB

[Note. May or may not be immediately after the previous meme]

--------

Danny: *dies screaming*

Also Danny: *screm powers*

Jason: *died in explosion*

Also Jason: *Explody powers*

-------

Jason: say hello to my BOOM STICK!!!!

The boom stick is a ghost glock. Jason can imbue it with his powers to make the targets explode upon impact.

-----------

Gotham:

Jason:

Gotham: *starts crying*

Jason: SHIT-Gothi, what's wrong?!

Gotham: Why must you grow up??! Why can't you stay my little birdy!

Jason:

Jason: look just because I said you don't have to mother me, doesn't mean-

Gotham: MY BABY DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMOOOORE!

---------

Jason: *gets hurt*

Shades: so you've chosen death

--------

Duke: shit, we're cornered!

Jason: don't worry, I got this! *High pitched scream*

Shades: *come rushing in to defend the baby*

Duke: WHAT THE-

Jason: relax, they're friendly.

Duke: I'm talking about how fucking girly that scream was J-*gets elbowed in the ribs*

Jason: You sure your name ain't Dick? Cuz you're sure acting like one!

---------

Bike: *in batcave*

Also Bike: *suddenly in the dining room, just sitting there*

Damien: ?!

--------

Damien: Todd, can you not leave your bike in random places in the house?! It's annoying!

Jason: my bike?? Oh, OH! That's just squishy, he moves on his own time.

Damien: are you saying your bike is alive Todd? Tt do you mistake me for an idiot?

Jason: why don't you ask the bike then?

Bike: *beeps*

Damien: *jumps 5ft into the air*

----------

Dick: Jason, we need to talk.

Jason: *sigh* fine, I admit, I put him in the nicu, but he deserved it!

Dick: what?! No, I mean about your bike! What the hell are you talking about?!

Jason: ooh! Nevermind then, carry on!

Dick: Jason, this conversation isn't over.

Jason: jeez, you're starting to sound like Bruce, just tell me what you wanted!

Dick: your bike is crying.

Bike: *just realized it was stuck like this*

Jason: ?! Squishy?! *runs off*