#ftm nonbinary venting

[answersfromzestual]

If you are sending in a vent and don't want a reply, let me know and I can just post your vent, or let it live in my ask box.

If you don't let me know I'll probably respond to it.

Love,

Zestual

[candycandysprettyworld]

Are you hungry ?🤤 I can feed you;)

Still remain your one 1️⃣ and only candy 🍬 . Got intruded in my old account. REBLOG your baby girl..

[jirai-dirt-2009]

Trans masc but not in the sporty cool guy way

But in the pathetic guy who doesn’t leave the house, looks a wee bit malnourished way

[prispage]

life as a trans masc:

internet: "shut up about misogyny you're a man!"

real life: "shut up you are a woman. you will always be a woman. i'm gonna get you married."

[littleguydrawings]

Thank you to my friends for making me not feel crazy.

[gor3sigil]

Oh my GOD do I need to get something off my chest.

Let's talk about "name your price" events held by some "leftist" spaces a bit, that are NOT "name your price". Because this happened to me 3 times already this month while going to these events, to have organizers be really pushy that I make donation even when I couldn't do so and told them clearly.

So, I go from time to time at events held by local queer organizations to get out of my house. Being poor, you know it, is extremely isolating because you can't afford social events. And I've been feeling really lonely and depressed lately so I tried, 3 times this month, to attend queer events that were "name your price", with the understanding that you COULD attend these events even if you didn't pay anything (I even messaged the organisers first to be sure that I could come without donating). Everytime I tried to bring something to eat and/or drink to not come to these events empty handed and brought along some friends (who donated). So I wasn't "leeching" or anything.

And 3 times, I always got at least one of the organizers pushing me to donate because "even one € euro helps :) we're not FORCING you but you know, these events cost money and it'd be great to give back to the community :) but no pressure if you can't you if you find a coin in your pocket haha jk but yeah :)" and the last one took the fucking cake.

The dude, a so called super leftist anarchist, every time we took a break from watching the queer short films, came to me cracking a joke about how it'd be great if I donated in a very "commercial" way of joking without totally joking.

I snapped at some point and told him more harshly that I had brought food and drink, that it was all I could afford to do and it was supposed to be OKAY. And that one € for me meant a kilo of pasta that feeds me and my partner for 2 days. And he tried to imply that the orga wouldn't be able to hold events like this if everyone comes like I do.

It was a FUCKING SHORT FILMS SCREENING.

I left the event so upset because I just wanted to have a good time and meet people and get out of my flat where money issues is the ONLY SHIT I THINK ABOUT. And I wish it was a one time thing but it happens so regularly I don't even want to attend these events anymore.

If your organization can't afford to hold events you have 2 options:

You can make price ranges for people, so people who have more money can donate more, and those who can't pay a little fee.

You fucking don't hold events.

You don't make your event a "name your price" event, do all your com about the fact that EVERYONE can come even if they just bring snacks or drinks, to harass these people during all the event until they give you the scraps they have because you guilt tripped them. That's just bullshit.

And coming from people that gloat that they're proud leftists/anarchists/communists or whatever the fuck, bitch, shut your crap up PLEASE you have the same method as a marketing professionnal.

I'm so fucking upset. Guess I'll just stay home then.

[sydsixx-does-art]

very personal vent art

[white-fanged]

i wonder who i would be if i kept my hair cut short

i wonder who i'd be if i actually transitioned socially

i wonder if i'd be happier as a boy

i wonder if i stuck to using he/they pronouns i'd feel better

i wonder who he would be if i let them stay

[project-changeling-zero]

i kinda wanna get this off my chest.

as a transmasc non-binary, growing up and living in an AFAB body, with the circumstances that i am unable to transition at this moment, has been a really conflicting experience for me.

because i feel so. close with girlhood // womanhood, and feel like my voice should be taken into account, but then i feel incredibly fake and sexist and like i'm invading spaces because i want to be known as transmasc.

and i have to remember, men // AMABs can go through a lot of the traumas women // AFABs do, so to invalidate myself for what i went through just because "you're not a woman" makes me feel stupid, but it feels like i have to?

no one has said that i'm wrong, but i feel wrong. maybe i am.

to this day, i still struggle with fully accepting that i've suffered trauma related to girlhood, especially since there's no real "evidence" of it ( as in, i was sexually harassed // coerced, but never assaulted, for an example ), in comparison to other women in my life.

i dunno. i don't know if people talk about this much, maybe i shouldn't, but it gets consuming at times, and i spent more time wondering if i'm right to feel this way than the fact that i am and that there's trauma behind it.

it's really difficult to explain. i just feel like i'm a fraud. but also like i belong. and neither of them feel 100% 'correct' to me.

[minibunz]

Some pics I’ve been holding onto from like 2 wks ago

(He/Him)

[x-x-nyctophilia-writes-x-x]

This is a hastily made vent fic

Simon Riley x Reader

(Gender neutral reader, reader does not have gendered pronouns, but does mention having a period)

Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Mentions of hospitalization and surgery, mentions of strained familial relationships, mentions of periods

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke slightly startled by the sound of the front door to your apartment opening. Quickly checking your phone you noted the time; 4:37 pm. Simon was finally home from another deployment. You moved to meet him in the living room, but before you could even make it out of bed he was already standing in the bedroom doorway, looking at you with a hint of anxiety in his eyes.

You stared back for a couple moments before offering a weak smile and a quiet welcome home. He let out a sigh like he'd been holding his breath and said “There you are, love. I'd been trying to get ahold of you on my way over here, but you didn't answer. Had me worried.” 

You checked your phone again and this time noticed that he had called and texted you, several times in the last hour. You turned back to him, “I'm so sorry, I was… taking a nap.” 

Simon continued watching you from the doorway, staring like he was analyzing you. You had the blinds closed and curtains drawn shut, leaving your room dim despite the sun still shining bright outside. Simon turned on the ceiling light to get a better look at you, and you flinched. He sighed again as he took you in, this time less relieved. Your hair was a mess, you had dark circles around your eyes, your lips were chapped, and you'd been asleep in your day clothes. He moved toward you and sat at the edge of your bed.

“Lovie, what happened,” he asked, placing the back of his hand against your forehead to check your temperature, “are you sick?”

“No, no! I'm fine! I'm just… Tired.” you said, adding under your breath, “haven't been sleeping well.” You were avoiding looking him in the eye. Simon gently grabbed your hand with one of his, and turned your face toward his with the other. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

It was firm, but not a demand. Suddenly you felt tears prickling at the corners of you eyes. You leaned into him, your head resting on his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around you, instinctively, protectively, as you started to fall apart. 

“My dad… He's in the hospital! While you were gone he was diagnosed with cancer. He got rushed into surgery to remove the tumor. In a few weeks he starts chemotherapy. My mom and grandmother have been at each other's throats, arguing about what's best for him, who should take care of him during his recovery. Grandma's even been picking fights with the hospital staff! Even before all that, I got laid off! Something's gone wrong with my insurance, and I haven't had the time to sort it out, so I'm off my meds because now I can't afford them! My period started a week early last month, and I bled through my clothes, and this month it's a week late! I really haven't been sleeping well, my stomach is in knots, so I can hardly eat! And I missed you! I missed you so, so much!”

Simon just sat there with you, rubbing slow, soothing circles on your back while you let it all out. Once you had, he kissed your forehead and said a soft “I missed you too.”

Then he pulled away slightly to look you in the eye, concern evident on his face, but layered with what seemed like a little hurt. “Sweetheart,” he said more firmly again, “why didn't you tell me any of this was going on sooner? I know we didn't have a lot of chances to talk, but everytime I called you said everything was fine. Why'd you lie to me?”

You looked away, shame creeping its way into your chest while you found the words to answer him.

“I just… I didn't want you to worry. Your job is so dangerous, I didn't want you to be distracted by my problems while you were out there fighting.” 

“Your problems? Love, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, your problems are my problems. I'm your partner, and I'm here for you, even when I'm not with you.”

The corner of his mouth quirked up into a bit of a smirk before he said, “And I'm no amateur. I'm more than good enough to do my job and care about you at the same time.” 

You couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled up out of you at his cocky attitude, and he smiled seeing the shell you'd crawled into start to crack a little.

You sighed as you gazed up at him. “I'm sorry, for not being honest with you,” you said. He pulled you into his chest again and kissed your temple. 

“It's alright, I know. And I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much by yourself.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, finally able to enjoy each other's company again after being separated for so long, until Simon began to lift you off of his lap and make his way toward the door again. 

“Where're you going?” 

“Getting my phone, gonna order that dumpling soup you like. While we're waiting for it we're gonna take a bath, and you're gonna tell me everything else I missed out on while I was away. Good, bad. Everything. Get out that scented bubble mixture.”

And with that, he disappeared into the living room, leaving you with a smile on your face as you made your way to the bathroom to run the bath and find the bubble soap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been going through... a lot lately, so I wrote this to cope. Cheers.

[bbluesrreality]

Camboi photo shoot outtakes and professionalism commentary

I love amateur porno. The pro stuff can be so beautiful but- there’s something to the relatable human error of an occasional shitty angle, some scuffed fucking crunchy, noisy audio, dust on the mirror and grainy, unprofessional lighting that makes the sex more believe or, like, more easy for me to project onto as an imperfect person. It’s the same logic behind why so many comedians tell really good, thorough jokes involving self deprecation at the punchline: humanization in the eye of the audience. Sometimes I get bogged down in trying to make a shoot exactly the high production value SEEMING concept I’m going for, get overwhelmed with the details of what I want to do, and stop myself before I even start looking at the mountain of work in front of me. That’s the anxiety talking and the beauty of these photographs has reminded me, one again, to take a step back and make beautiful things with my creativity and the resources around me rather than spending so much time being a perfectionist about what I want to do in the future. Post the imperfect photos, live a little, it’s fine

[leonardoeatscarrots]

Trans Bodies are Beautiful

Yeah, wake up. It's body positivity hours.

[demonicallyslaying]

Members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who experiences same-sex attraction, listen up. This is very important.

There’s a man on YouTube by the channel name R3alism.

If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, DO NOT WATCH OR INTERACT WITH HIS CONENT.

He makes VERY homophobic Christian videos, and he has a shit ton of supporters. I want a way to get him to stop this, or get his channel banned or something. Seriously, it’s really fucked up and I don’t think it should be on the internet anywhere. I could just be overreacting, but I can’t do this shit anymore.

This is what he looks like:

To further prove my point, here are some examples of homophobic videos he’s made:

These next screenshots are from one video:

As you can see, in the captions, he wrote “Satan is poisoning your mind. Therefore you have a mental illness.” The rest of the video is images of pride parades.

Get this man off the fucking platform. This is more proof god doesn’t exist, because what kind of god lets this happen to its people?

[starscr0ss]

i'm not even a girl

[deathtokillian]

I hate how people say having trans representation will make people trans. Because not only is that not how it works but do you want to know what my “trans representation” was?

The Maury show where they would mock trans people and had episodes like “MAN OR WOMEN” where they would bring people out and have the audience guess if they were a man or a woman. (Which is also awful if they were a woman having people think you were male by the way you looked???)

Also the 1999 movie Boys Don’t Cry

You know the movie (that I hate btw) about Brandon Teena a transgender man who was sexually assaulted and murdered. THAT was my trans representation.