#gay heartache

[jude-thedude98]

When u were lonely

U called me

Wheni was lonely

I called u

We picked up for each other

Because when lonely hearts long for loving

The only thing they really need is acceptance and understanding

I understand u

N

U understand me

[stil-lindigo]

the sunset.

a comic about two outlaws who loved each other, despite everything.

creative notes:

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[thesolitarysoul]

🎬 : Baby Reindeer

[princesslovinharmony]

"I am breaking my own heart with my own writing, my own poetry, my own words—because every story I’ve ever told was born from my heart shattering, over and over again."

- Princesslovinharmony (me)

I was writing more poetry, read through it and cried. Then I came up with this.

[dragzo]

From Three Thirty to Four

Hi! For the past week I’ve been working on this fan comic for the fic From Three Thirty to Four by @pittdpeaches. I am absolutely obsessed with their writing, especially this fic. It just makes me feel so warm and happy and it is honestly my comfort fic. If you love oblivious Red Son and MK, then you’ll love it.

Pittedpeaches, your writing has offered me a huge boost of inspiration for both my writing and my art, and if you see this, I want you to know just how much I adore your work. Please enjoy this comic!

[satiraexhibition]

[kitsune-kaos]

[sassywiththesas]

Your red lipstick stained my soul..

[letsdeerintheheadlightsuniverse]

Within just 18 episodes, OFMD managed to provide so many people with a safe space ship, where they felt loved, accepted and part of a community. Its legacy is one of celebrating queer joy and knowing the importance of a found family, which is why the cancellation tastes all the more bitter.

The plan was always to tell the story within a certain number of episodes, but without the final 3rd season, we have been left with more questions than answers. We have been left in the fandom gravy basket.

There's a sense of grief lingering in the wake of the saddening news. What was an outward declaration of 'we're here and we're queer' is now just another tombstone in the graveyard of Bury Your Gays. Queer characters are no longer just dying on screen. Instead, their TV shows are being cancelled without a proper conclusion.

That, for me, is where the main source of my feelings of injustice stems from. Time and time again, we invest in shows where we finally feel represented, where the main focus of a queer character's existence does not wholly revolve around the cost of being queer is eternal suffering. We get lulled into a false sense of security, only for it all to be cast aside in favour of a streaming service's latest whim. And for what purpose? Pure greed? Spite? Bad ratings can't always be an excuse when the numbers speak for themselves.

And the answer isn't to simply say, "Well, be the change you wish to see. If you want queer content, make it yourselves" because that's what we've been doing, and yet, somehow, it still gets taken away from us. How many more tears, heartache, frustration, and media disenchantment are we supposed to sustain before our content ceases to be constantly under threat?

[piltover-s-finest]

Y'ALL

[the-garden-of-electric-light]

Eden. It is fascinating, your heart, I mean. It is the wildest and most overgrown Eden I have ever seen.

[moonmoon-ren]

The Break of Dawn - part 1

Sometimes, You have to let go, You have to make a sacrifice, You have to admit and agree that it's for the better, For future happiness. Warning: This story contains topics of a bit more rougher language, and a situation where there is a fight between lovers. Near the end there is also sexual content. That's why its flagged as such. ______________________________________________________________

It was a rainy afternoon during the last days of spring. Earlier that day somewhere after breakfast time the house had been shook by a sudden outburst of two lovers. No one had seen this coming. It was not pretty. Words had been spoken... harsh words. Ren left the house around noon, not caring at all for the bad weather. No jacket, no umbrella. He just left wearing a mint green tshirt and grey pants. He needed a walk, no a run even. He would run as fast as he could till he reached the top of the hill that overlooked the Lavender Beds. There he would sit and think it all through.

Sequoia was not a man of much patience, and very much someone who will always say the things as they come his mind. Not always refined or embellished. Maybe he has been a bit too rough this time? His head was full of toughts. But Ren's absence was torturing, especially since Ren left all of a sudden and in this heavy rain. What was that dumb Viera thinking?

"Fuck it, i'm going out to find him! I need to talk."

Sequoia gathered himself and changed into some more robust clothes, not that he cared much, he had been used to being outdoors and in way worse weather conditions. He left the bedroom and entered the living room, where surprisingly the twins, Koori and Kaen were sitting. He forgot that they came over last night for a sleepover. Ren had that big news to tell.

"Boys, I'm going out to find Ren. It might take a while since I don't know where he ran off to. There's food in the ice box and some refreshments. Please, try not to eat ALL of the cookies?" The twins burst out in a little cheeky laughter. "O-okay Sequoia" they answered in unison after which their face straightened in a more serious look. Koori who had been the more mature of the two turned around to Sequoia.

"Is all okay? Ren seemed really really pissed off. He went outside in this nasty rain and didn't take any jacket with him. He will get sick! B-b-but we also heard you two yelling this morning! What is happening Sequoia ? Koori asked this with a slightly trembling voice, sensing something was afoot.

"I ... I don't know boys ... I don't know. I think Ren and I need a serious conversation about our future and I think we both need to see the facts and agree to happiness for us all. Even if that means we have to bring a sacrifice." Sequoia always showed the responsibility of a leader even when he didn't want to be seen as such.

" I see you both later, okay? See ya! Take care, and bring Ren home okay??"

Sequoia left the Lily Hills apartment building.

His lungs were burning from the running. He ran, ran so hard as he could. It's amazing what people can do when the adrenaline rushes trough their bodies. Ren had expierenced this many times so far, ever since he came to Eorzea. The battles he had fought. He survived and saved the days. Warrior of Light they called him. Yet, he felt like such a piece of misery at the moment because he seemed to fail at being a lover. he fucked up this time. Big time. He'd rather face Ifrit or an army of Sin Eaters again then dealing with this situation.

But sitting here on the hill, in the warm rain, feeling the water all gushing over him he felt that he started contemplating things. When he got reunited with Sequoia a few months ago it felt so good. SO DAMN GOOD !! Being together with him was everything. It was like a perfect balance. And yet things seemed less pretty then they were.

"Here you are! I have been searching the entire Lavender Beds for you" Sequoia said in a relieved way while he approached Ren.

"Go away!"

"Hmm ... this again huh? You always did that as a kit, you did that when you were a young adult, and you still do that. You should know that I can't do that. I promised you that."

Ren got slightly annoyed by the presence of Sequoia this time. Not today, it felt so raw. He could not stand his presence now. "Sequoia: leave me the fuck alone!" Ren lashed out more aggressively this time.

"Yeah yeah, feisty bunnyboy. Again, dumb bunny, can't do that, since i'm here now and i need to rest before you make walk back home."

"whatever"

Sequoia ignored Ren's angry mood and sat down on the wet grass next to Ren. Ren tossed him an angry look but quickly averted his gaze and stared back at the grass. Sequoia just looked at Ren and tried to figure out how he would deal with this situation. For moments it was only silence.

A bird was telling its story and complaining about the weather to another. A hedgehog was looking in the bushes for a place to hide from the rain. Two stagbeatles were fighting for territory. The forests of Gridania were always alive. The rain just continued to rain until it would be done raining.

It was eventually Sequoia who broke the silence again.

"Ren? Can we talk please?"

"What about?"

"Us."

... (silence)

Sequoia continued, he found it difficult to speak the next words as he was afraid of breaking Ren's heart. But he had to face the truth and its better that he would do this now then later.

"I think its better that we break up. After what happened this morning, I realised that we compliment each other in so many ways, but we also clash in so many other ways. We both are free spirits and we both seem to be attached to our own free space. You were angry at me for leaving you a while ago. I needed some time for myself. I admit i should have talked about it...-"

This was it, Ren had enough of it ... like a volcanic erruption Ren jumped off the rock he was sitting on and broke his silence.

"NO SEQUOIA! You are not going to justify this! Love means that we both trust one another! I told you in the beginning who I was, I told you about what life I was leading, I put all my cards on the table, because I trust you, because I love you. I TOLD YOU. You left me a few weeks ago with a note on the table that said you needed time to deal with something you could not talk about. Now i told you that i need to leave soon for Tural because i'm needed there. This is what my life is! Yet you give me shit about it. You don't get to do that, not after what you pulled off."

Sequoia felt anger boiling in him, mostly because of guilt. He knew Ren was right, but he still could not tell Ren why he left. he was not ready. Yes Ren had the right to know it, but it would hurt. He drove his fingernails in the flesh of the palms of his hands.

"Ren ... "

"NO !!! "

(silence)

Ren's blood was rushing trough his veins. He wanted that Sequoia would yell at him, that he threw everything out and fight him. So that he would know what was going on in that stoic's head. Instead Sequoia only stood there. Angry looking. Like an oak withstanding lightning strikes.

Sequoia stepped forward towards Ren and Ren did the same, he wanted to grab Sequoia and provoke him more. Instead Sequoia grabbed Ren's waist and pulled him closer. Ren let go of Sequoia's jacket and lifted his arms and wrapped them around Sequoia's neck. They shared an intimate hug.

"I don't want to lose you Ren. I'm so sorry for what I did. But i can't tell you why I left. I need my personal space and I don't want to share that. I know its selfish. I love you, I always have and I will continue to love you. I just don't know if I can do so as a lover. I want you to be free. Like your father Naoko, Ren. He was free to. I also want to be free. Our love it has been passionate, intense, it had a lot of fire, but I think one day we both might end up hurting each so much with that fire that we destroy everything we hold dear. (tears were rolling over both Sequoia and Ren's their cheeks). I think that if we both want to be happy we should break up. To protect our friendship. You were also my best friend, Ren. Never forget that. I want to save the friendship we have. Treehouse Bunnyboys forever, you know ?"

Ren tightened his grip around Sequoia and pressed his head against Sequoia's strong chest. He cried.

"I'm so sorry Sequoia. I ... I ... was selfish too. I don't want to loose you. I don't want to go."

"You have to. It's your duty. Just as it mine to be here for you, for us, for the boys. You said this morning that you never chose to be the hero. I never chose to be a leader. But we have to do it anyway. We have no choice in this."

(silence again)

Ren allowed the silence happen and gave tought to what Sequoia had said.

"So this is it then ?"

Sequoia looked at Ren with a slight smile. He couldn't help but think that Ren was damn adorable when he was angry. Like he almost didn't really mean it, though he felt the fire. He felt a sudden urge to kiss Ren.

"This is it. For the sake of our friendship."

"Sequoia? Run home with me."

The two Viera's ran home. The fight, the argument, the emotions had stirred something. With each meter they ran a desire in them grew. The run home was playfull, sometimes they challenged each other to run faster, tickle each other to distract. They arrived home but did not enter the building yet.

Sequoia grabbed Ren near the entrance and kissed him. Ren said that he wanted Sequoia. He kissed him back and slid his hands under Sequoia's shirt. They had a strange desire for each other. Breakup sex.

Next they found each other naked in bed. It was different then usual. It was still passionate. It always was. But this time there was also the raw emotion of grief, sadness, letting go, anger even. Sequoia was more dominant then usual, Ren was more submissive. He wanted it. He wanted it so bad that Sequoia did his thing with him one last time. It felt relieving.

"What will you do now Sequoia ?"

"I need to go on, I will stay here and keep an eye on the twins. They still need some guidance and training. This world is a bit big for them. Akane plans to move in here too with Ash. And when that all is settled I plan to make my motorbike with Cid and do my roadtrip."

"Take care of them Sequoia, and please use the apartment, okay ?"

"When do you leave ?"

"Erenville will contact me via linkpearl with concrete details. But I plan to leave in the morning to Old Sharlyan for preparations"

"Let me know when you leave, please. I want to say goodbye and hug you before you go to the New World. The twins too."

"I will. You'll need to take an airship though."

(laughter)

-------

Personal note:

For those who followed the Renquoia ship; i'm deeply sorry if i dissappointed you that they had to break up. I tried to find an elegant way to do this, but its something i had in mind for a while now. I want a different path for Ren and Sequoia. But i also didnt want to be like .. BAM its over all of a sudden. They both have a difficult life and for future writings, but also bc I don't know about the story in Dawntrail ... i somehow want to explore a different avenue for them. So that's why i decided that they break up.

Thank you for wanting to read it. ♥

__

[thesolitarysoul]

[lifewithcraig]

“Thanks for reminding me to close the door to my heart shut. I keep making the mistake of letting people in.”

[h0rr0r5h0w-c1ty]

3. Br0k3n H34rt5

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[lukedifferent]

“ The heart knows it and the skin feels it. The head can say what it wants."