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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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we went mad // sam and colby

A/N: let me tell you a story of how this came to be. i obviously got the idea from the scream franchise, in particular scream 2 which is set at a college. so originally i wrote this in second person, but i felt like i had already written pretty much everything up until now in that pov, so i had to switch ALL of the writing i had done (which was most of it) over to first person. and then… i had to finish writing it. and that for some reason just took so long for me. i think part of the issue was that when i originally came up with the idea of this fic, i saw the ending, and that was it. i wanted the famous kitchen scene with billy, stu, and syd, but god… getting there was no cake walk. thank christ i'm done with this fic. it's definitely one of my longer ones. let me know what you think ! hope you enjoy :)

prompt: someone on campus is killing all of your ex-classmates. and you fear you're next. || college!sam and colby x reader

trigger warning: murders, slightly gore and blood mentions, cursing, college setting, parties, drinking, douchy/emotionless bf, mentions of hs bullying, surprise/rollercoaster ending

word count: 6582

~~~~~~~~

How could you have missed the signs? How could you not have known all this time?

~~~

Sam and Colby had talked about moving away from our hometown for years. They had major plans to move to L.A. and become big. But instead, they decided to go to our local state college with me, and half of our graduating class. And while I was confused by their choice, I was happy nonetheless. They were my best friends, and I was upset thinking that I wouldn’t see them anymore after graduation. But I understood why they wanted to get away in the first place: everyone at our school bullied them. The number of times Sam and Colby had been shoved into lockers, or had food thrown at them in the cafeteria, or were just badmouthed... let's just say that high school was nothing short of hell for them.

Freshman year of college, while stressful, was fantastic. We all lived on campus, our dorms across the street from one another. Hell, I could even see their dorm from my window. We took a lot of the same core classes together, always making sure to work on projects and help each other out. We hadn’t decided our majors yet and knew that this would be the only time we could be in the same classes together.

Things were good for a long time, all the way through the end of sophomore year. I was so excited to start the next half of college. It felt like the home stretch, even if we weren’t close to graduating yet.

But our relationship changed, our friendship drifted apart. By the start of junior year, we were no longer friends. And the major reason for it? I started dating someone from our old high school. I had met him at the end of sophomore year and dated him secretly during the summer. His name was Davis, and back in high school, he was popular. He got into this university on a sports scholarship. And you might be wondering, was Davis someone that bullied Sam and Colby? No, he wasn’t. But he was friends with those that did.

I didn’t know that until I was already dating Davis. It was hard to keep up with who did and didn’t bully Sam and Colby back in the day. I told Davis to apologize to Sam and Colby for what his friends did. At first he was a bit confused, but he did it regardless. Sure, it was at a party and he was kind of drunk. But it still counted… right? He later texted the guys about it and they said they accepted his apology.

However, they couldn’t forgive me for dating someone like that. So, our friendship just… died.

But even though I wasn’t their friend anymore, I still knew them pretty well. And the moment we were no longer friends, something felt… off about them. We still shared the occasional class, so I saw them every other day. They seemed darker, broodier. And only ever with one another. But that wasn't that unusual for them. They relied on one another a lot.

On a cool fall day, shocking news broke on campus: someone was killed right outside the dorms late last night. Classes were immediately cancelled. Everyone was on edge. The university did its best to calm the nerves of its students, siting that we were in a major city and cities tend to have random killings happen. Police stayed on campus for the next couple days, and partying was prohibited.

Of course, that didn't stop the frat houses from throwing "secret" keggers in their basements. I didn't really want to go, but Davis begged me to. That I should "live on the edge" since I was never really a go-getter. So I went, and I was surprised to see Colby at the party. I waved at him, but his eyes glared back, and then behind me. I turned to see Davis, my face immediately dropping. I didn't see Colby the rest of the night.

The next day, the police finally released the name of the person that was killed on campus. It was in fact a student, but that didn’t mean there was an issue on campus itself. Since we lived in the city, bad things were bound to happen to us too.

The name sounded familiar, and it finally clicked: it was someone from our graduating class. James Cooper. I didn’t know him all that well, but I was still sad to hear he was killed.

Davis sort of knew the guy too; he had been on the hockey team. They had gone to parties together before, but he wasn't close to him. It clicked for me even more when Davis mentioned the hockey team: that guy shoved Sam and Colby into lockers our freshman year to impress his friends. He was a major dick to them for a while, until finally getting onto the hockey team and just ignoring all classmates that were "underneath" him.

…Maybe karma actually did work.

Less than a week later, another person was killed. This time it was a girl. She was found just outside of the library in some bushes. I knew who she was, remembering her from high school. She was a cheerleader, both years ago and now. Lizzie Campbell.

This was all so weird to me. In the two years of being on campus, I had barely heard about any robberies or petty crimes happening, let alone two murders. And on top of that, two of my ex-classmates? Davis shrugged it off, saying it was just a coincidence. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of something not being right about all of this.

And as time went on, my suspicions became more of a premonition.

Two more students, back-to-back, were found. But what made it worse was this time one was in the dorms. And it was in my dorm too, two floors down. Security had everyone on that floor evacuate and go to other dorms for the time being. I, and many other students, didn’t feel safe in the building. I decided to stay over at Davis’ frat house.

They ended up throwing a last-minute party that weekend. I begged Davis to tell his brothers not to throw one, especially because of how insensitive it was and that they could be fined for it. He told me it was out of his hands, that he didn’t decide whether parties happened or not.

How could he be so blasé about these deaths, especially since he even knew these people?

This was a side to him I had never seen, and I didn’t like it one fucking bit. I couldn’t stay there that night, so I trudged back to my dorm room. On my way there, I ran into Sam.

It was awkward to say the least. We talked briefly, and I told him how I planned to stay in my dorm since I couldn’t stay at Davis’. Sam offered his and Colby’s dorm instead; that it was much safer than mine, especially since I would be alone.

Part of me didn’t want to go to their dorm, mostly because of everything going on between us. But he was right about it being safer, and I did miss them a lot.

I followed Sam back to his dorm. He informed me that Colby was out working on a project and wouldn’t be back until later. Their dorm was nice and spacious, the benefit of being an upperclassman. It was like a mini apartment in some ways. We relaxed in their living room area and chatted for a bit. Eventually, the topic of conversation fell onto the recent murders. Sam spoke of whispers around campus that the killer wore a mask shaped like a melted ghost’s face, that that was how he got in and out of the dorms. My skin crawled at the thought of seeing that mask and prayed that that wasn’t the case. The killer could be anyone on campus, just lurking in the shadows.

I had this urge inside of me to tell Sam my theory. I knew we weren’t close anymore, but I felt like he was the only one that would believe me.

I explained to him what I thought was happening: how all of the people that had been killed on campus were from our old high school. The killer was attacking those from our high school only, possibly hunting them down for some unknown reason. Sam questioned if that was true for the newer victims.

We looked up the email from the university, speaking on the recent victims. "The selfish murders of Christopher Smith and Sara Goodwin..." Chris was from my homeroom. He was on the swim team. He won tons of medals and was celebrated. And Sara… she had dated the quarterback sophomore year and was generally a popular person.

Oh god, I think I’m right.

Sam was surprised at how on point I seemed to be. It was a nice change of pace compared to being shrugged off by Davis. But he didn’t fully agree with my idea. He considered that maybe this was a huge coincidence, that maybe the killer wasn’t targeting our class, just the people that still hung out with one another. Maybe all the victims – Chris, Sara, Lizzie, and James – were all friends and the person that murdered them knew them all and was picking them off.

I snorted, "And what? They saw something they shouldn’t and now they're getting I Know What You Did Last Summer-ed?"

"That could be it." He replied.

I sassed. "You can't be serious, Sam."

But he was. He didn’t argue that he was right, just that if someone was attacking our graduating class, or our old high school, they would have to kill half the population of the university. So, it was unlikely that that was happening. Maybe Sam was right about that. Sure – there was definitely a connection. But it sounded more plausible that Sam was right on his part in some way.

Sam decided to call it night not too long after, stating he had early classes the next morning. I dozed off an hour after he went to bed, sleeping on their somewhat comfortable couch.

I jolted awake suddenly, the front door unlocking slowly. It opened, and Colby tip-toed in. His eyes locked with mine, and they widened.

“Hey…” He mumbled awkwardly.

He wondered what I was doing in their dorm, and I told him what happened with me and Sam. I asked him where he was all night, glancing at the neon red lights of the clock shining back 3:20 AM. Colby spoke of a crazy party at one of the frat houses.

But didn’t Sam say…? Whatever.

I nodded my head at him, yawning loudly. He smiled, said goodnight, and shuffled off to bed.

The news broke two hours later - another body was found. Michelle Robinson. And this time, it was right outside of Davis' frat. He even saw the killer, or who he thought it could have been. A guy dressed in all black with a cloak and a mask running away from the house. But no one saw the body until the morning.

The mask… just like Sam said.

Campus was immediately shut down, all classes resuming online. Absolutely NO parties. How could the university think people were going to be able to learn when there was a killer on the loose? It was insanity to me.

I was forced back into my dorm. Police raided every car and dorm on campus to find clues. They determined after a thorough search that the killer wasn’t a student, just someone that new the dorms well. No evidence was found linking a current student to the killings.

The day the police announced this, I got a very strange text.

UNKNOWN: if they only knew....

I didn’t know the number or what it possibly could have meant. I tried not to think about it, already too concerned with everything else going on. The next day, however, I got another text from the same number.

UNKNOWN: what's it like knowing that people are dying on campus but your bf is throwing another party??? it’s almost like he’s celebrating their deaths. you really know how to pick them

I responded with what the hell are you talking about? and who is this? but the number never replied back.

Were they telling the truth though? Was Davis really throwing another party? He couldn't be.

I went straight over to Davis’ frat house, and when I saw the brothers pulling a keg into the back of the house, I knew the unknown number was telling the truth.

I argued with Davis that night. How could he be throwing a party again after what just happened? He even saw the killer and he’s just… shrugging it off like it doesn’t matter. People he knew from school are dying and he doesn’t care. It was gross and concerning beyond belief.

He rolled his eyes, saying that he wasn’t close to any of the people that died, just that he knew them in passing. And they weren’t throwing a party, just a kick-back with the boys in the house.

“Oh okay, that makes it all better…” I spat sarcastically. “Even if that was just the case, how are you in a partying mood?”

He groaned, walking away from me. “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re such a buzzkill.”

That was enough to set me off. I broke up with him on spot, not listening to another word he had to say. I held back tears as I raced back to my dorm. That was the last night I saw Davis.

And it was also the last night of the murders. At least... for a while.

Three weeks went by. This had been the longest period without any murders. It seemed as if things might have been getting back to normal. Even the university was starting to act the same again. The university announced the soon-to-be-open dorm that was right down the street from mine. I was even excited to stay there next year; I was actually looking forward to it - to senior year. To the future.

After breaking up with Davis, I ended up becoming friends with Sam and Colby again. I told them what happened, and they graciously accepted me back with open arms. It was nice to be with them again, for life to feel somewhat normal once more. But I couldn’t lie: I missed Davis. I knew I shouldn’t have, his weird lack of empathy for what was happening was alarming, but maybe something was going on with him and that’s why he didn’t seem to care. Or maybe I was trying to give him brownie points when he didn’t deserve them. But I couldn’t help but miss him. Even if I knew what he did was fucked up to me, I still cared. I worried something could still happen to him.

The killings might have stopped, but that didn't mean I wasn’t still paying attention and on edge all the time. I think everyone on campus could feel there was still a chokehold in the air from the murderer.

I texted Davis after a month of nothing from him. I asked to meet up with him, but he never responded. My messages were going through, so he didn’t block me. Sam and Colby caught wind of my texting and were highly against it, especially when I said I planned to go to the frat and see him for myself. According to Colby, clearly Davis either needed space or just didn’t want to see me, so I should just stay away for a while. I considered what he said but decided to go anyway. I asked around at his frat house if anyone knew where he was, since I knew he wasn’t in class. His ‘brother’ Kevin replied that they hadn’t seen Davis in a long time. Like, almost a month.

...The last time I saw him as well.

My stomach twisted up in knots at the first thought I had.

Was he the killer?

There’s no way. I was with him when the first killings happened. Maybe he had an accomplice? No. No, Davis wouldn’t kill anybody, let alone people he knew from back in the day… right?

I can’t tell Sam and Colby, even though they know my theory about the killer hunting people from our graduating class. I don’t want to give them another reason to hate Davis. Not to mention, I must be wrong. There’s no way Davis killed all those people. It was just a coincidence that he left and the murders stopped.

Unless… the killer got him too.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. Maybe Davis left because of the killings. Maybe it was too much for him to bear. Maybe a family emergency happened. Maybe he couldn’t handle the classes. There could be a laundry list of reasons why he left.

My heart skipped a beat when my phone buzzed on my way back to my dorm. The number wasn’t the one I was hoping to see, and all the text did was make my thoughts spiral deeper.

UNKNOWN: do you miss me?

~~~

Our campus was known for its Halloween parties, and while I definitely wasn’t in a spooky mood, Sam and Colby begged me to come with them to a random frat’s party. Sam wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend and Colby didn’t want to be left alone when they would eventually disappear off. I agreed begrudgingly. I dressed up in my costume from last year, a witch, and Sam and Colby dressed up as Batman and Robin; and by dressed up I mean they just threw on a t-shirt with the symbol. Walking into the party, I felt my skin tingle with anxiety. The music was loud and there were so many people around in an array of different costumes. I glanced around, hoping to maybe see Davis, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop trying to look for him. He clearly left because he couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, whether from the murders or the workload.” Sam stated, pulling my attention away from the crowd.

“Maybe he couldn’t live without you so he left.” Colby joked.

“Either way, don’t waste your night looking for someone that’s gone.” Sam stood up pointing at me, “I’ll be right back, let me go find my girl.”

“Let’s see how long it takes him this time.” Colby rolled his eyes.

I stayed with Colby for a while, watching a table of zombies play beer pong. After two games had finally played out, I started looking around for Sam.

“Don’t bother. Sam has a tendency to disappear off with his girlfriend and only come back around super late. I don’t know, but sometimes I swear she’s not real.”

I questioned, “You’ve met her before, right?”

He shrugged. “Sorta. It was quick, and honestly, I was super drunk so it could have just been some random girl.”

“Sam wouldn’t lie about having a girlfriend.” I argued.

“Yeah because if he did, I’m gonna make fun of him so fucking much,” Colby chuckled. “I’m gonna go step outside and call him, see if he’s around here. If you want, go… mingle, until I get back.”

“Tell him to hurry back, with or without his girlfriend please.” I laughed, watching Colby smirk as he stepped outside.

I wandered around the party, running into some people from my English Lit class. We started taking shots and bitching about the professors giving us so much work during the murders.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like it had been at least an hour, if not longer. I pulled out my phone, ready to text Colby where he went off to, and suddenly an urgent email went through. Everyone’s phones around me started blowing up as well, gasps and screams being let out as people read the message.

Three students were just found dead on campus. Police advised everyone to stay indoors and if they were out on the street not to walk home alone.

“Fuck this, I’m getting the hell out of here!” Someone yelled deep from within the party.

A major rush of people started going for the front door, making it impossible to leave. Mayhem was breaking out, people were crying, screaming, and begging to get out of the house as soon as possible. I rushed to the basement, knowing there was an exit there since all the frat houses were built with the same layout.

Fuck! Where was Sam and Colby?

A huge group of us ran back towards our dorms. I stayed with the group as long as I could until I was alone, running to my dorm.

“Y/N!” I heard Colby’s voice shout from across the courtyard.

I spun towards him, running up to him hastily. I fell into his arms, pulling him close.

My voice quivered. “Thank Christ you’re okay! Where’s Sam?”

“He’s with his girlfriend in her dorm. McFranklin Hall.” Colby informed.

“Oh thank god. Okay, let’s just get back to mine since it’s closer.” I urged.

We got into my building quickly, jumping into the elevator. I finally was able to catch my breath for a moment, my heart still pounding. “Where the hell were you all night?”

Colby furrowed his brows, confused. “I wasn’t gone that long, Y/N.”

“You said you were only going to go make a phone call.” I responded.

“Yeah I did, and then I guess I lost track of time.” He answered.

We walked out of the elevator and down to my dorm. “How the hell did you lose track of time?”

He huffed. “Can we just talk about this later?”

I shook my head, pulling my key out. “No let’s talk about this right-”

“Y/N?” He interjected.

“What?” I breathed, still looking at him.

“Did you leave your dorm unlocked?” He pointed.

My gaze fell upon my dorm. The door was open, but only a little. Like someone rushed to get out of it.

“Maybe we should head back to my dorm…” Colby backed up.

I stepped inside, pushing the door open all the way. “No I need to know what happen-”

I flicked on the lights and choked out a gasp.

My room was torn up, everything knocked over and on the floor. Someone ransacked it, looking for God knows what.

I shuddered, “W-who… did this?”

Colby bit his lip nervously. “I don’t know.”

“How did they even get in here? I locked my door, I know I did.” I dissented.

His face twisted in disgust, covering his nose. “What is that smell? I think it’s coming from behind the door…”

Colby pushed the door shut, jumping back as it slammed.

“Oh my god is that… blood?” He whispered.

#9 was smeared onto the door, still fresh from whoever broke in.

My mouth watered as nauseous rushed through me. “Nine… that was Davis’ jersey number.”

“Or… like how many victims there’s been.” Colby deadpanned.

My breathing labored at his tone. “There hasn’t been nine victims. The three tonight make it eight.”

Colby’s eyes were cold as he turned to me, “Well, then maybe you’r-”

A dark figure lurched out of my closet, grabbing Colby from behind. I screamed out, staring into the melted ghost face mask.

“Run Y/N! R-” Colby yelled, his breath hitching as the figure’s knife stabbed into his chest.

Pure adrenaline kicked through my veins as I bolted out of the building. I ran to the stairs, rushing down them as fast as I could. I wasn’t sure if the figure was behind me, but I knew I just needed to run. As I finally made it to the street, there were no cars around. It was late, already one AM. The police sirens and glow of their cars were so far away, possibly on the other side of campus.

I rushed down the street, praying to find a lone car or business open so I could call for help. But everything down the street was dark, deserted.

The only building that seemed to be open or have lights on was the new dorm. I raced around it, trying to find a single unlocked door. I found one towards the back of the building, an emergency exit that hadn’t been installed yet.

I needed to find a space to hide, knowing that once I felt safe, I could call for help. I didn’t want to run through the open lobby, so I kept going up the stairs to the second floor.

From down below me, the emergency exit busted open, the dark figure staring up at me as it raced up the stairs. My screams echoed off the walls of the staircase as I rushed through the second story door. I ran down the hallway, trying to find any room that was unlocked. The hallway was dark, only the occasional work light.

I could hear the slamming of the emergency door behind me. It was near; and getting closer. Fuck! I need to find somewhere to go. I just kept running, not knowing what else to do.

The building was almost in a circle shape, everything looping back around to one another. As I sprinted to the other emergency exit, the figure popped out, stopping me dead in my tracks.

How the fuck did he get over here?

I turned around, running back the way I came. As I got to an open living room area, the figure came down the hallway I was running towards. I spun around, gasping at the now two dark figures in front of me.

I backed up against the wall, the figures closing in. Tears clouded my vision as I stared at them, ready to die.

Suddenly they stopped, glancing at one another, and chuckling. Their laughs sounded familiar as they pulled off their masks.

“Sam…? Colby?” I sputtered.

Sam smiled. “In the flesh.”

“Surprise.” Colby smirked.

“W-Wha? What the- What the fuck?!” I screeched.

“What? Oh shit, did we scare you? Didn’t mean to do that.” Sam feigned concern.

Colby held back a laugh. “…Yeah, we’re only sort of lying about that.”

My body was frozen against the wall, “Is this some joke? A prank?”

“A prank? I think killing eight people is far past the point of a prank.” Sam glared.

“Our sense of humor isn’t that fucked up. What do you think we are, monsters?” Colby scowled, pointing his knife at me.

My stomach dropped as my heart raced faster. I could feel the color drain out of my face.

They killed everyone.

“No. No, y-you guys can’t be serious.” I cried.

“Oh, we’re dead serious. Why don’t you show her her prize, Colby?” Sam gestured.

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” Colby winked, backing away.

I moved forward as Colby turned the corner. Sam shoved me back against the wall, pulling out a gun from behind his back.

He pointed the gun at my chest. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I whimpered. “Sam, why are you doing this?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn soon enough.” He grunted.

My eyes fell on Colby as he pulled Davis’ tied up body from around the corner. He was alive, but barely; blood soaked his clothes, and he looked dirty.

“Oh my God Davis!” I wailed, trying to run towards him.

Sam wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly against him. “Tsk tsk, Y/N. I told you not to move.”

“You’ve probably been wondering where he’s been. He’s been in here, just… chilling.” Colby snickered.

I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. “No, no, no. This can’t be real. You guys-!”

Sam growled in my ear. “What?! We can’t be killers? Oh trust me, Y/N… we are.”

“And you know, all this happened… because of you.” Colby spun the knife in a small circle, until he rested it underneath my chin.

“Because of me?” I uttered.

“Yes. You see, that night you made Davis ‘apologize’, he didn’t actually do that. Maybe to you that’s what he said. But to us, he said something totally different.” Sam explained.

Colby mimicked Davis’ voice, “‘I remember you two dorks. Can’t believe Y/N has put up with you two losers for so long. My friends did nothing wrong in high school. You guys deserved every single thing that happened to you. I ain’t apologizing for shit.’”

“‘Honestly the shit they did was fucking hilarious. And if you’re not over it by now, that’s your fucking problem.’” Sam chimed in, doing the same voice.

“Well… now it seems like your problem too, Davis!” Colby cackled, kicking Davis in the stomach.

“‘You’re not gonna tell Y/N about this. She’s never gonna believe you anyway. I have her wrapped around my finger. She’s in love with me, so you might as well accept this as my apology.’” Sam quoted directly into my ear.

“Do you know how upsetting it was knowing he was right? You would have never believed us. Especially when he sent that dumb poor excuse of a text the next day claiming he was sorry.” Colby hissed.

“We would look like the bitter nerds that just couldn’t get over their dumb bully.” Sam replied.

“So you thought murdering our old classmates would make it better?!” I exclaimed.

“Every single one of them deserved it! They weren’t just our old classmates; they were the ones that bullied us!” Colby lurched at me, getting into my face.

My eyes widen at Colby’s words. He was right.

“The first one, James. That was my doing. Total accident, B-T-W. It was right after we stopped being friends, I was upset and we bumped into each other,” Sam recounted nonchalantly. “He recognized me from high school, and he called me his favorite name – you know, the old one he used to call me all the time back then. I blacked out, and when I came to, I had strangled him to death.”

“I killed Lizzie after seeing you at the party with Davis. You know, she was always so desperate, even back in high school. And she tried to get with me, and when I shot her down, she all of sudden remembered me. Started calling me a loser, and all this other stuff. It didn’t bother me at first, but then she brought up Madison and how she told everyone in school how bad I was our first time. So… I killed her.” Colby shrugged.

“We didn’t even know we had done these crimes until we both confessed to one another. And then from there, we just couldn’t stop.” Sam revealed, tightening his hold on me. “We basically went back and forth, one for one. Except Colby went a little rogue and killed… what was her name? Michelle. That night you were at our dorms. That… that one almost got us caught. Especially since you basically had pieced together that the killer was going after old classmates.”

“I’m sorry. What can I say, Michelle actually surprised me,” Colby chuckled darkly. “I was working on a project with her, we went to a party and… well, it doesn’t matter. Just know it was fun leaving her body outside of Davis’ frat. Too bad he saw me leaving. But that was when we realized Davis might actually be useful after all.”

“We got a burner phone, texted you once or twice, and things just fell into place. You broke up with him – because let’s be honest, we didn’t force him to throw parties after everyone’s deaths. That was all him. And his lack of caring? Also all him. So again, you really do know how to pick them,” Sam joked. “And once you guys were done-zo, we realized kidnapping him and making him disappear would make you question if he was the one who did it.”

“Plus, we had mid-terms.” Colby added.

“How did you keep him here for a month?” I questioned.

Sam scoffed. “A month? No, we only just kidnapped him. Who the hell told you he’s been gone for a month?”

“A brother at the frat.” I remarked.

“Yeah, no. He’s wrong. Prior to that, Davis was actually ignoring you though. He was pretty upset about you breaking up with him.” Sam related.

Colby stared down at Davis who shook with fear. “He didn’t expect it since you were so wrapped around his finger.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would you do this?” I choked.

“We wanted to forget high school, we really did. The plans we had for life outside of this state were just too big. So, we made them smaller, thought going to the same school as our best friend would be fine and sure, we’d have run ins with old high school assholes, but who cares? That was years ago. We’ve all moved on, right?” Colby huffed.

“The thing is, when you deal with people who peaked in high school… life doesn’t move on for them. Their glory days consisted of making our lives shit day in and day out. They get to go on and not have to relive the trauma. Hell, they didn’t even have to pay for what they did. And what about that is right?” Sam spun me around to face him, his eyes glaring into mine, “Why do they get to live when a part of me and him died back then?”

His cold stare left me speechless. “I-I –”

“And then… you go and date one of them?” Sam shook his head in disappointment. “Now that… that’s fucked up. Which is why you have to die too.”

“Wha? No, no. Sam, Colby, please!” I begged.

Colby grabbed my arm, both of them gripping onto me. “There’s no point in begging now. You chose your fate the moment you picked him over us!”

“Please don’t do this. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone.” I pleaded, lying.

Sam cocked the gun. “Yeah, right. You have a good moral compass on you, I remember our philosophy class together.”

“Wait! Can I kill her?” Colby interrupted.

“What, no dude. I’m the one with the gun, let me do it.” Sam protested.

Colby frowned. “But that’s no fair, you killed more people than me.”

“No I didn’t. We killed the same amount. I made it even tonight.” Sam bickered.

“Yeah, well, if you kill her than it’s uneven.” Colby complained.

“Then you can kill Davis and that way it’s even.” Sam compromised.

Colby breathed. “Oh oka-”

I punched Colby right in the face, knocking him back into the wall. I kicked Sam hard in the dick. He groaned loudly, dropping to his knees. The gun flung away from him, next to Davis’ body. Colby’s hands were suddenly around my neck from behind, choking me. I fought against his hold, elbowing him hard in the chest. Sam recovered from my kick, jumping up and pushing me back into Colby’s hands. He held Colby’s knife up against my chest, ready to stab me.

A loud gunshot echoed off the walls of the dorm. I felt a sharp, agonizing pain in my side. My vision blurred from the pain and lack of oxygen, and suddenly all was dark. Quiet.

~~~

Y/N’s body dropped to the floor as Sam and Colby turned towards Davis, who somehow came loose from his binds.

The gun was in his hands, pointed at them.

“Holy fuck, you shot Y/N!” Colby boomed.

“No! No! Fuck! I meant to shoot you!” Davis stammered, pure shock coursing through him.

“Oh my god bro, you actually killed her?!” Sam laughed. “Wow… you made this so much easier for us.”

“Don’t you step any closer! I’ll fucking kill you too!” Davis turned towards Sam, his finger on the trigger.

“Gonna be hard to do that. There’s only one bullet in the chamber.” Sam stated.

Davis stared at the gun, trying to open it to see if Sam was telling the truth. Sam rushed up to him, stabbing him in the chest hard.

Sam blinked. “Just kidding.”

Davis’ body collapsed on the floor, and Sam bent down and stabbed him three more times, each with more fury than the next.

“Aw man… I thought I was gonna kill Davis.” Colby pouted.

“Shut up, Colby. Okay, we gotta make this look like we fought. Put your mask on him. I’ll take my cloak off and leave it next to him. Then we gotta make ourselves look… beaten.” Sam barked.

Colby nodded his head, taking his mask and placing it on Davis’ dead body. Sam tore his cloak off, leaving it next to Davis. The extra mask and cloak they discarded, leaving it in the room where Davis had been held captive. They made sure to clean up somewhat, wiping their fingerprints off of all weapons.

“Alright so… I think we should at least give each other a black eye. Maybe a couple slices too.” Sam dictated.

Colby agreed. “Okay, should I go-”

Sam punched Colby in the face, snorting after Colby winced and backed up.

“She already punched me bro! You didn’t have to do that!” Colby whined.

“Sorry. Go ahead, take it out on me.” Sam pulled his arms back, closing his eyes.

“Man, I don’t know. I’d hate to h-” Colby decked Sam across the face, his rings cutting up Sam’s bottom lip.

Sam winced. “Fuck! Okay! Shit. Alright, I’ll slice at you once, and you do the same.”

“Okay…” Colby mumbled.

Sam grabbed the knife, swiping at Colby’s abdomen.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurt.” Colby grimaced.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re such a baby.”

“Give me the knife. Tell me how it feels.” Colby yanked the knife out of his hand, jolting it into Sam’s side.

Sam grunted deeply, holding his wound. “Why don’t you cut a little deeper next time, Colby?”

“Sorry, are you okay?” Colby asked.

Sam pulled out his phone, “Yeah I’m fine. Alright, that’s enough. Time to call the police.”

“Dude…” Colby exhaled happily. “I can’t believe we’re getting away with this.”

“Justice is finally being served.” Sam grinned.

Sam called 911, giving an Oscar-worthy performance on the phone. He even shed real tears. The police were over in a flash. Sam and Colby limping down to the lobby of the empty dorm to meet them, for dramatic effect. They made sure to make themselves look exhausted from the crazy night they just endured. They told the police what happened – they saw the figure murder Sam’s girlfriend, one of the three that were killed tonight, and they followed him over to this building where they saw him dragging Y/N in. It was Davis, Y/N ex. He kidnapped her and killed her and tried to kill them as well. But they were able to fight him off and stab him.

They were escorted to the ambulance, a crowd of students lining up outside the building as they were being checked out.

Sam and Colby smiled at one another as they were loaded into the ambulance, needing to be fully checked out at the hospital.

A loud yell rang out as Y/N’s body was brought down on a stretcher. EMT’s surrounded her as they pulled her into a different ambulance.

“WAIT! She’s got a pulse!”

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #sam and colby fic #sam and colby fanfic #sam and colby fanfiction #sam and colby angst #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach fic #sam golbach fanfiction #sam golbach angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock angst #sam and colby x reader #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween

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the-kittens-of-vol-tron · 1 year

Note

Ok so hear me out:

(in this au, Shiro took Keith in at a much younger age)

Adam trying to win Keith over while trying to woo Shiro?

Yes Yes Yes

So if you have seen Lilo and Stich, I’m going for the sibling relationship Lilo and Nani. Shiro is Keith’s legal guardian but big brother <3

-----

“Who is that?” Adam whispered to his classmate, his eyes glued to the boy who entered the room.

“Huh? Oh, that’s Takashi Shirogane.”

He sent his friend the side eye, “and how do you already know his name?”

They rolled their eyes, “he literally got the top score in our entrance exam? And look at him! Total hottie.”

Adam allowed his eyes to look back at the other guy, who took a seat a couple of desks away from him. He looked his height, maybe slightly shorter. His undercut was fresh and he had to have something in his hair to make the top of his hair fall like that. He was muscular, defiantly someone who took care of himself.

A sharp pinch appeared on his side and he smacked his friend's hand.

“Stop staring, it’s rude.”

“I wasn’t staring!” Adam whispered back harshly.

“He might not even like men.”

Adam felt his heart drop, a painful reminder that his dating pool is limited. He stared at his desk, tracing the different colors of the wood with his eyes. “Yeah...you’re right.”

A comforting hand was pressed on his upper shoulder blade. “Chin up buddy. It’s the first day of the semester, you’re going to meet plenty of people.”

He gave a weak nod, looking forward as the teacher walked in.

---

“Adam right?”

Adam nearly fell out of his chair, being snapped out of his daydream of actually flying instead of learning about how to fly. “Uhh yeah?” He looked at the voice, Takashi staring down at him with an easy smile. Why is he talking to me? And how does he know my name? Take a breath Adam, just in and out. Just like we’ve done since birth. He prayed his inner turmoil wasn’t readable on his face.

The other guy laugh, the sound rumbling in his chest. Adam wishes he could save it to memory. “We’re partners...for the project?” He nodded his head at the bored.

“Partners For Developing Your Own Flight Plan To Kerberos!” Was written in black marker.

“Oh yeah...the project,” Adam took his glasses off, pretending to clean smudges that weren’t there.

“You were zoned out weren’t you,” Shiro stated. A humorous smile on his face.

“Wh-what? Me? Zoned out?” He cleared his throat, ignoring how his face felt. “I was just...seeing if you were paying attention...?”

Takashi laughed again, throwing his head back at the action. “Understandable,” he extended his right hand. “I’m Takashi.”

Adam took his hand, trying not to focus on the string grip on Takashi's hand. “Nice to meet you.”

---

“So I was thinking after dinner we could start the project? My roommate will be at their partner's dorms so it’ll just be me in mine. But whatever you’re comfortable with.” He held onto his backpack straps as they walked down the hallway. Attempting to keep his persona cool. He was only inviting the hottest man he had ever seen in his life to his dorm.

She rubbed the backside of his undercut, his eyes on the ground. “I actually will be gone before dinner. I leave the grounds around threeish. Right after our last class.”

Adam sent him a confused look. “Do you not live on campus?” Freshmen weren’t allowed to live anyways but in the dorms. Juniors and Seniors could get other housing but it would still be Garrison housing.

“I don’t...it’s complicated.” He smiled. “I can give you my number and we could call later to work on it.”

Adam nodded, pulling out his phone. He quickly unlocked it and got to the contact screen. “Here.”

Takashi quickly typed in his info before handing it back. “I can call any time after 19:00!” He started to move down the hall. Leaving Adam still confused.

---

He ran his hand through his hair again. Groaning with the short strands didn’t stay where he needed them to. “Come on! Just stay where you need to be.” He mumbled to himself, hesitantly checking the clock. They were going to call at 19:15 and it was currently 19:13. He didn’t have time for this.

He grabbed his glasses and sat down at his desk, propping his phone up on his laptop. Opening his notes right as his phone began to ring. He took another deep breath and accepted the video chat. His voice died in his throat as Takashi appeared on the tiny screen.

He wasn’t in his Garrison Uniform, though he did make that orange work. Instead, he wore a white baggy hoodie. With a logo Adam didn’t recognize and the top of his hair was pulled back into a very, very small bun. “Hey, how was dinner?”

Adam cleared his throat, did he talk to everyone this casually? “Good...y’know cafeteria food.” He paused, “unless you don’t. But you aren’t missing much.”

Takashi sent him a toothy grin. “I’ve heard horror stories.” He leaned out of frame for a moment, repapering with his notebook. “Want to get started?”

They worked for over an hour, making good progress until Takashi looked at something off-screen. “Yeah, buddy?”

Adam stopped talking, holding his breath unknowingly.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be right there okay?” Takashi looked back at the camera. “Sorry, can we call it a night? Something came up.”

Adam nodded, “yeah no problem. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you!” He ended the call, leaving Adam in a still silence. Who was he talking to?

---

Adam rubbed his eyes, flopping down in his seat. He stayed up too late watching movies.

“Wakey-wakey Adam,” his friend snapped his fingers in front of his face.

“I’m awake,” he crossed his eyes, sinking back in his chair. “Did you start your project?”

His friend scoffed, “no, it’s not due for like two more weeks.” They gave Adam a quick glance. “Did you?”

Adam hummed, “started it last night.”

“Ohh you actually worked with Takashi? Didn’t try and kiss him?” His friend nudged his arm.

Adam rolled his eyes, sending Takashi a small wave as he entered the room. “Yeah...we got some work done.”

---

“I have to say,” Iverson took his reading glasses off his face. “This is the best plan anyone has come up with for a project like this.”

Takashi nudged Adam’s arm, smiles forming on both of their faces.

Iverson sent them a professional smile. “You two clearly work well together. Would you two be interested in a side project? It’ll look good in your academic folder. Might open more doors in the future.”

They both nodded, not feeling the need to discuss it with each other. They did work well together.

They exited the room, smiles plastered on their faces. Each holding a folder of the next project. “So are you heading home? Since Mrs. Dominic's class was canceled?” Adam asked as they headed down the hallway, their shoulders brushing against each other.

Takashi shrugged his shoulders. “I was thinking about it. But that would put me home almost three hours early. I won’t know what to do with myself.” He chuckled.

“Well,” Adam stopped walking, tightening his hands around the folder. “We could always get a head start on the project? The libraries are nice to work in, but you have to reserve a study room twenty-four hours in advance...and then I have my...dorm...?”

Takashi turned to face Adam, having taken a couple of steps after he stopped moving. “Why did you say that like a question?”

Adam shrugged, praying the other boy couldn’t see the heat on his face. “I just-” he cleared his throat. He needed to get over this unrequited crush.

Takashi laughed, “we can do it to your dorm. I just need to leave after 15:00.”

“Copy that,” Adam began to walk. Leading the way. They chatted back and forth as they walked, Adam scanning his badge to unlock his dorm. “Welcome to my lovely abode.”

Takashi whistled as he walked in, “living in luxury I see.”

“You know it,” He slipped his bag off, hanging it on the hook at the end of his bed. “Make yourself at home.”

Takashi took off his own bag, pulling out the chair to Adam’s desk. His leg bobbed up and down.

Adam slid off his orange jacket and climbed into his bed. Sitting with his back against the concert wall. The folder in his hands. “Did we want to start?”

Takashi nodded, placing his folder on the desk, his eyes falling on the picture frame. “Awe is this you?” He gently grabbed the frame, lifting it up to his face.

Adam ignored the embarrassment that bloomed in his gut. “Yeah...I was like five or six. First time I ever saw a plane up close.”

Shiro stared at the picture, a nostalgic look in his eye. “I guess we all have a moment like there. Where we fall in love with flying.” He put the frame back down. “Is that your mom and...” He trailed off.

“Mom and Mama,” Adam stared at the folder. He wasn’t ashamed of his familial structure, it was a good way to introduce new people to the topic.

“They look nice. Loving.” Shiro opened his folder, pulling out the papers inside.

“They are...what about your family? Your parents?”

Takashi’s jaw tightened for a brief second. Before he met Adam’s eyes, “a story for another time. Let’s start shall we?”

Adam nodded, his stomach tightening with guilt. “Yeah.”

---

It had been a couple of weeks since that day. They worked together almost daily, excluding the weekend. They were always around each other. Joined at the hip. Adam and Takashi slowly became Adam and Takashi. An inseparable pair.

Adam’s leg bounced up and down. Trying to contain his excitement. Takashi was going to come over again today. Unrequited crush or not, he just liked spending time with him. They clicked really well. And sometimes, just sometimes Adam felt as if Takashi felt the same.

Iverson entered the room, silencing the students with his presence. Adam’s eyes drifted to where Takashi sat. His seat empty.

He didn’t show up the next day.

Or the day after that.

He let his bag drop to the floor, feeling defeated. He flopped on his bed face first, not even bothering to check his phone. Takashi hadn’t responded at all. Hadn’t even read his messages. He tried not to take it personally. But he was still hurt. He thought they were closer. They had an unspeakable, indescribable connection. Something drew them together and yet. He wasn’t allowed to be there for him.

He awoke to his roommate entering the room. “Yo, you missed dinner. Are you feeling okay?”

He pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Like seven?” They sat on their own bed, shrugging off their uniform.

Adam shimmied off his bed, rolling his shoulders. “I’ll head down before the kitchen closes.”

His roommate hummed, opening up their laptop as Adam exited the room. Glancing at his phone as he walked. A missed call from Takashi.

He frowned and quickly dialed it back, pushing the anxiety down into his core. The call picked up, “Hey Takashi. Is everything okay?”

A small voice responded. Hesitant. “Hi, are you Shiro’s friend?”

Adam frowned, stepping off to the side to let others pass. “Uhh, I...who are you?”

“Shiro’s sick. Can you help?”

“Wait what?” He ran his free hand through his hair. “Is he okay?”

“Ummm, hot but shivering. Sweaty and he won’t eat.” The small voice listed off the different symptoms. “What?!” He called to someone on his side of the call. “Adam!”

Adam could feel his heart in his throat. Pounding in confusion and concern. He could hear a voice muffle on the other side but he couldn’t make out the words or the owner of it.

The unnamed voice returned, “Can you help? I live at...” He recited the address quickly and Adam pulled a pen out of his pocket. Scribbling it down on his arm.

“Sure...I’ll do what I can.” The call ended and he started at the location. It was outside the Garrison, but not too far of a drive. But a walk? That would take him hours. He chewed on his inner cheek. Turning to walk to the one teacher that might help.

---

“I can’t allow you off campus Adam. You know the rules.”

“Iverson, please! I don’t know who that was but they sounded like a kid. If Takashi is sick he might need some help.” Adam forced himself to keep his posture straight. His eyes ahead, trying to plead his case. “I don’t know his living situation that well, but given he’s allowed to live off campus I can only assume he’s the sole provided to someone.” It was a shot in the dark but it made sense.

Iverson's face revealed no information. “Again. I can’t allow you to leave campus.”

Adam’s face dropped, his shoulders sagging.

Iverson stood, “I’m sorry. I know you two are close.” He moved to stand in front of the younger boy. “And I’m known for not always locking my office door.” He placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “The key to my truck is hanging by the door. I park in spot 34.”

Adam sent his teacher a confused look. “What?”

“Takashi Shirogane is a special case. One we teachers are not allowed to discuss. And he trusts you, so if you’re being requested. You should go.”

Adam nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “Thank you.”

Iverson stepped back, moving back toward his desk. “You do know how to drive right?”

Adam moved, grabbing the key that hung by the door. “Sure. It can’t be harder than flying right?”

Driving was harder than flying.

He managed to make it to the address in one piece. Trying to ignore the number of traffic laws he broke. He knocked on the door. It was a smaller house, with a couple of lights on. His palms sweated as he waited. Unsure who was going to open the door.

The door cracked open, stopping on a chain, A younger boy stared up at him through thick raven bangs. “Um....hi?”

The kid didn’t respond, just stared.

Adam shifted under his gaze, “I’m Adam?”

The kid nodded, closing the door briefly. Reopening it fully. “Follow me.” He lead Adam upstairs to a cracked door. He pushed the door open, leaving Adam in the hallway.

He returned a couple of seconds later, waving Adam in.

Adam followed, his eyes immediately falling on a very sick-looking Takashi. “Keith...I told you not to call him.” The other man wheezed out, trying to focus on the smaller boy.

The boy, now known as Keith, crossed his arms. “I’m no doctor.”

“Neither is Adam.” Takashi let his head fall on the pillow, his eyes squeezed shut.

Keith looked at Adam, “he wears glasses. He has to be smart.”

Takashi groaned, “it doesn’t work like that.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “can you help him or not?”

Adam nodded, “yeah.” He moved ahead, sitting on the edge of the bed. Leaning forward to rest his cheek on Takashi’s forehead.

“Adam?! What are you doing-” The other man began to protest, his eyes blown wide.

“Shhhhh. I’m trying to check how hot you are.”

Keith snickered, which resulted in his brother saying his name.

Adam leaned back up, “have you eaten anything?”

Takashi shook his head, “hard to eat.”

“Drank anything?”

He shook his head again.

“Okay,” Adam stood, looking at Keith. “You have any soup?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he looked at his classmate, “mind if I steal your kitchen?”

Takashi didn’t respond, slipping into a shivery slumber.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He looked at the younger boy. “Can you show me the kitchen?” That’s how Adam found himself. Chopping up slightly old vegetables, adding them to a simmering pot.

Keith sat on the island behind him. Munching on a grilled cheese. “So how old are you Keith?” He slid the carrots into the pot.

“Seven.”

“Oh, that’s a good age.” He moved on to the celery. “Where do you go to school?”

“Down the road. Shiro drops me off on his way to the Garrison.”

“Ah, I see.” More chopping. “What’s your favorite class?”

“Hmm,” Keith put the plate down beside him. “Science.”

“Mine too.” He finished the vegetables, giving the soup a stir. “Where are your parents? Away at work?”

“They’re dead.”

The room fell into silence. The soup bubbling. “Oh...I see.”

“Shiro takes care of me. He’s been taking care of me since he turned eighteen. But they passed when I was four.”

Adam squeezed the spoon he was holding tighter. Everything fell into place in his mind. Why he never stayed past three in the afternoon. Why he never came to campus on the weekend. Why he didn’t live on campus. His reaction when Adam asked about his parents.

“Shiro likes you.”

He turned, “what?”

Keith hopped off the counter, placing his dish in the sink. A small pile of dirty dishes formed. “He talks about you a lot.”

“Oh...we are good friends.” He turned to focus on the soup. Trying to calm his racing heart.

“Adam.”

“Hmm?”

“What’s a boyfriend?”

“Oh...it’s a guy you date. Someone you like and may fall in love with.”

“Oh...well Shiro said he wants to be your boyfriend.”

He dropped the spoon he was holding. “What?!”

Keith looked at him like it was everyday knowledge. “Only if I like you.”

Adam stared at the kid, unsure of what to say.

Keith began to leave the kitchen. “I don’t have any thoughts on you. But I thought he liked shorter guys.” He left the room, the TV turning on in the living room.

Adam placed the spoon in the sink. Finishing up the soup while emptying the dishwasher and starting it up with the new dishes. Cleaning up the messes that Keith had created since Takashi was out of commission.

He dished up a bowl, moving to head up the stairs. Keith curled up on the couch, asleep.

He headed upstairs, knocking on his classmate's door. “Takashi? You awake?” He made a small grunt sound and Adam, entered the room. “I made you some soup.”

“Adam, I am so sorry about this. I was just pushing myself too hard and...sometimes.” He paused, catching his breath.

“Your body will make you take a break.” He set the soup on the bed-side desk. “Come on.” He helped Takashi lean forward, propping the pillows behind him. He grabbed the bowl, lifting the spoon up to the other boy's mouth.

“You are not feeding me.”

“You are not feeding me,” Adam mocked back, “just shush and eat.”

Takashi fought him for a couple of moments before giving in. Letting Adam feed him. “Keith’s asleep downstairs.”

“Yeah...he does that when I don’t make him go to bed.”

Another spoonful. “He told me what happened...about your parents. Shiro, I’m so sorry.”

His face scrunched up, “you called me Shiro.”

Adam ignored the fire under his skin. “Sorry, hearing your brother say it. It just slipped out-”

“You can call me it. I only let people I’m close to call me it.”

“Oh,” another spoonful. “Are we close then?”

Shiro sent him a weak smile, grabbing his wrist weakly. “I like to think we are.”

Adam returned to his dorm around two in the morning. Falling on his bed as soon as he kicked his boots off. He didn’t leave until Shiro had eaten, he put the other dishes away and he carried Keith to bed properly.

Sleep didn’t come easy to him. Every time he tried, all he could think of was what it would feel like to kiss him.

---

The next Monday rolled around Shiro was finally back in class. Looking more alive than he did when Adam saw him last. He came in right in front of Iverson so they didn’t have time to talk. But Shiro sent him a bright smile when he walked into the room.

The class dragged on but as soon as it was dismissed Shiro was in front of Adam’s desk. “I am so sorry again for last week.”

Adam waved his hand in a ‘whatever’ motion, standing while grabbing his bag. “Again, it’s fine. I’m happy you’re feeling better.” He met Shiro’s grey eyes. A hint of pink on his cheeks. Was he flustered?

Shiro bobbed his head a couple of times. Unsure of what to say but he seemed to be reluctant to move. “I should go...I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

Adam nodded, both of them refusing to step away from each other. An invisible energy pulling them together. “Did you want some help?” Adam offered.

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded, a smile forming on his face, “I’d like that.”

They ended up sitting on Adam’s bed, leaning against each other as Adam helped him with the various assignments.

Shiro groaned, resting the back of his head on the concert wall. “This is a lot.”

“Missing of a week of school seems stressful.”

Shiro closed his eyes, his body relaxed. “It was. I couldn’t do anything. I was so worried Keith was going to set the kitchen on fire. But, at least our neighbors could take him to and from school for me.”

They sat in more silence. Adam finally broke it. “Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

Shiro sighed, his eyes still closed. “It’s hard to talk about I guess.”

Adam mimicked his position, closing his eyes as Shiro talked. His voice rumbled from his chest.

“Losing mom and dad...it was hard. I was fifteen. I went to school, Keith went to daycare, and then one distracted driver left us spending a night at an emergency placement home.”

Adam intertwined his fingers with Shiro, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Shiro didn’t pull his hand back, and his grip tightened ever so slightly. “We were moved a lot. I made sure we stayed together no matter what. And as soon as I turned eighteen I got us out of there. I’m just happy the Garrison worked with me. Let us stay in our family home. I didn’t want to bring Keith on campus.”

“He’s important to you,” Adam whispered.

“He is. I would do anything to keep him safe. To make sure he isn’t hurt or left alone.” He released a shaky breath. Leaning to rest his head on Adam’s shoulder.

Adam rested his cheek on Shiro’s head, “like date someone he approves of?”

Shiro nodded.

Adam knew what he had to do. Get Keith to like him.

---

“What are you doing for Winter break Adam?” His friend asked as they sat down for Iverson’s last class of the semester.

“I don’t know. I only live like forty minutes away so it’s not like I have to travel.”

His friend nodded, going on a slight tangent of the layovers they would have to sit through to get home.

He sent Shiro a small wave as he entered the classroom. Shiro smiled at him and sat down. Adam’s phone lighting up a couple of moments afterward.

Good to see you. I wanna talk to you after class.

He reread the message, quickly typing a response as Iverson walked in the door. Spending the entire class wondering what Shiro could want to ask him.

“So what’s up?” Adam made it to Shiro’s desk first this time.

“Adam!” Shiro’s face lit up and he stood, a slight bounce to his action. “How far do you live from here?”

“Like a forty-minute drive...why what’s up?”

“So Keith loves roller-coaster but um...I don’t.”

Adam couldn’t stop a laugh from escaping his chest. “You’re in a fight pilot major and you don’t like roller-coaster?!”

Shiro rolled his eyes, “mock me later. Do you like them?”

“Yeah.”

“Great, I was given some free tickets to ‘Roller-Park’ and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me...and Keith of course. He’ll need someone to ride with him.”

Adam grinned, his heart fluttering in his chest. The perfect opportunity to befriend Keith just fell in his lap. “Yeah. Just let me know when.”

---

“I want to ride that one!” Keith pointed to the 400ft rollercoaster that could be seen from the entrance. He dropped his hand back down on Shiro’s head. Holding on to the tuff of hair with his fingers.

Shiro whistled, “that’s a really tall coaster,” he sent Adam a panicked look.

Adam chuckled, looking up at Keith who was sitting on Shiro’s shoulders. “Let’s start on the smaller ones first okay?”

They spent the entire day riding rides. Shiro waiting by the exit for them. Kneeling down each time to hug Keith as he ran at him. Adam was having fun. Keith was a good kid.

“I want dipping dots,” Keith said, pulling Shiro toward the ice cream stand.

Shiro let the smaller boy drag him along. “What flavor do you like?” He looked at Adam.

“I don’t need anything.”

“Come on, the least I can do is buy you some ice cream.”

“I’m fine Shiro.”

“Shiro?” Keith tugged on his arm.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Can I have Adam share then?”

Both men broke out in laughter.

---

“Ready to try the big one?” Adam ran a napkin across Keith’s face.

Keith nodded. “It’s going to go fast!”

“90 miles per hour.” Adam stood, extending his hand to the raven hair kid. “Come on, let’s go check your height.”

Keith was surprisingly tall enough for the ride and after a twenty-minute wait they were buckled into the coaster. “You ready?”

Keith nodded, swallowing a bit. “I’m scared.”

Adam frowned, wrapping his arm around the smaller boy. “It’s okay to be scared. Does it help to know that I’m scared too?”

Keith looked at him, “you’re scared?”

Adam laughed, “a bit. But’s going to be fine.” He removed his arm as the coaster began to move. It launched off and after a minute the coaster was stopping. They shared a look before laughing at how messed up their hair was.

They kept laughing until they met up with Shiro. Keith immediately told Shiro about the ride and how brave he was. He whispered something in Shiro’s ear, causing him to look at his brother with a wide expression.

Adam wasn’t sure what he said but he figured it wasn’t his place. They rode a couple more rides, Keith grabbed Adam’s hand a couple of times as they walked.

“I’m going to go get us some food. Come on Keith.” Shiro grabbed his brother's hand.

“I’ll eat whatever you get.” Adam looked around, his eyes falling on something. “I’m going to check something out.” He waited until the two had walked away and made his way over to a game stand. “What do I have to do to get that?” He pointed at the giant blue and black wolf plushy that was hung up.

The employee smiled at him and quickly explained what he needed. It took Adam a couple of tries but he walked away with the stuffed wolf.

Shiro and Keith were sitting down. Chomping on chicken tenders and French fries. Shiro’s eyes widened at the giant stuffed animal. Keith had yet to notice.

“I got you something Keith,” Adam sat the wolf down next to the boy who stared at it with wide eyes.

He looked up at Adam, “for me?”

“Yup.”

Keith grinned at the plushy, hugging it tightly.

“What do we say, Keith?” Shiro said, looking at Adam with an unreadable expression.

Keith pulled back some, “thanks, Adam!” He let go of the plushy and jumped up to hug Adam.

Adam hugged him back, glancing at Shiro who smiled at him.

---

“He is knocked out,” Shiro plopped on the couch next to Adam, resting his arms on the back of the couch.

“I’m happy he had fun.”

“Yeah...me too. He named the wolf Kosmo.”

“That’s a fitting name. Did he ever let go of it?”

Shiro laughed, sliding his arm down so it was wrapped around Adam’s shoulders. “No. He fell asleep holding it. I had to pretend to brush its teeth while he brushed his.”

Adam chuckled, sinking into Shiro more. Trying to keep his heart rate steady. Just two dudes...platonically cuddling. Nothing more, nothing less. “What did Keith whisper to you at the park.” He wasn’t sure why he asked, but something forced the words out.

“He said that he liked you.”

“Oh.” He tapped his fingers against his upper thighs. Trying to keep himself composed. “I like him. He’s a good kid.”

“Yeah,” Shiro adjusted, so he was twisted on the couch facing Adam. “And I like you.”

Adam turned his head so he was facing the other man. Their faces were closer than he expected. “...like a friend?”

“...more than that.” His hand moved up, slowly cupping Adam’s cheek. His thumb slowly rubbed over his cheekbone. “Do you like me?” He leaned closer, their breaths mingling. “More than a friend?”

Adam took a shaky breath. This was it. No matter which way this went, this would change everything. “Yeah.” He whispered.

“...can I?”

Adam licked his own lips nervously, “yeah.”

Shiro tilted his head slightly, pressing their lips together. Pulling back too soon. He leaned back, dropping his hand. “Was that okay?”

“You better kiss me again Takashi or I will never forgive you.”

Shiro laughed and leaned forward again.

-----

This...this got away from me

But I hope you liked it!! This was so much fun <3

Thank you for reading <33333

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mattisaroace · 7 days

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what is being aromantic? what is being asexual?

an anecdotal explanation about what being aroace means to me. part 2. technically. both can be standalone. but you should read part one because i enjoy being a chatterbox.

this is not proofread.

so. i finally figure out that i am asexual. yipeee! once the sex aspect is out of the way, i can finally persue relationships without any expectations of sex, right? wrong.

i have a long and not too complicated dating history, featuring many e-relationships and two week infatuations.

going back to the early days of fifth grade. i attended a catholic school, and everyone was starting to reach the age where crushes are a new and fascinating occurrence. of course, i don’t know how many ten year olds had true crushes, but they CERTAINLY said they did.

and so, naturally, i needed one too. i picked a boy in my class, joesph, and told my classmates when i was asked. i did not know him well, and he knew i had this “crush” on him, but he didn’t like me and i never actually asked him out, so that was that.

i got my first boyfriend the summer before 7th grade. we attended a jewish sleep away camp, and were part of the same group for leading our unit’s shabbat service. we had the same hairstyle, the only difference being that the top of his hair was dyed red, the top of mine was dyed blue.

this was a preppy camp. we stood out, and thus our relationship was born. a girl approached me and asked if i would date “brendan”. i did not know who brendan was, we met two days before. she described him as “the boy with the red hair”.

it was middle school, and so i said yes. a day later, he asked me out. we dated for that summer until the next one.

the relationship was incredibly 7th grade of us. we hugged, had a pre-planned “kiss” under the fireworks on the last night of the camp session. it was gross, but short. i could now say i had had my first kiss.

he broke up with me due to bullying the next summer, but then after two days of drama, we started dating again. we broke up for good around december or january of 8th grade, over text. he wasn’t going to camp next summer, so we would not see each other again without planning it.

during our first break-up, i was upset, but mostly because i was insulted by the reason behind it. i did not have any strong feeling about break up #2.

i had more relationships between the end of 8th grade and my senior year of high school, but that would be the fastest way to send you all to sleep.

and so. i take you to my two most recent relationships. May 2022 - August 2022, and April 2023 - May 2023

the first one was a girl from a community theater show i was doing. she was snow white, and i was her prince. we became fast friends, and ended up dating. we were together for months, talked daily. we hugged, and sat in bed, holding each other while watching movies. we did not kiss. we did not even attempt to initiate anything more than hand holding.

she broke up with me in august. i was upset at the prospect of us not being together, but the only thing i remember thinking was “there is nothing we did that we cannot do as friends”. of course, it is difficult to rebound from dating, especially long distance as we were. we ended on good terms, but no longer speak to each other.

after her was my ex from the last post. we began dating after months of infatuation. he broke up with a girl for me, i magically made the “crush” that i thought i had on my best friend vanish the second i realized that he may actually show any form of interest in me.

eventually, that too ended. i enjoyed the hugging, cuddling, and closeness. i hated kissing, and the expectations of what i was supposed to be feeling within the relationship.

i did not immediately begin identifying as aromatic, but this is when i first began to entertain the idea.

life went on.

i started college, and met many amazing friends. as is usual for first semester freshman year, people began to get in relationships, and the whole question of “should i try for one?” comes up.

i decided against it, as none of my friends were romantic candidates for me. i know, i know. it’s weird to think of people that way. however, that’s how almost every other relationship i’ve had started.

we became fast friends, and happened to have compatible genders/sexualities to date. and so we did.

it started to dawn on me: what was the difference between my romantic partners and my close friends? the two largest factors are the duration of time we were close, and the amount of physical contact we had with each other.

in my prior romantic relationships, we became close quickly, or became much closer as we started to enter the “talking stage”. the longest i’ve known someone before getting into a relationship with them was a year and a half, and we were much more distant and did not hang out too often before the dating part.

as for physical intimacy: we started hugging/holding hands/being comfortable with each other before dating, but used it as a sign that we should start a relationship?

i suppose that is where i stand right now.

i am unsure of what the difference in my current best friends are, and what my relationships used to be. i am very physically affectionate, and i enjoy it. i also became close to people fast, thanks to meeting them at college. the biggest change? my two best friends are a lesbian and an arospec who is also out of my age range, dating wise.

there is no room for romantic interpretation.

once none of my friends could be potential partners, it felt like a relief. i don’t have to figure out if they like me or not, and if i “like” them back. we can just be friends.

i don’t want people to have crushes on me. all of mine were deliberately chosen, and that is not the way i feel “romance” should be.

looking back, i have lost many good friendships to the pitfall that is dating. and why? i never have found anything more fulfilling than my close platonic friendships. romantic relationships were always just adding a degree of exclusivity i never could live up to, since i cared for my closest friend and partners in the exact same way.

what is romance? i truly do not know.

however, i do know some things:

i love my friends

i enjoy spending time with my friends

i do not need exclusivity to be valued

not attempting to date has led to my platonic relationships being more fulfilling and wonderful than they were when i constantly had to compare them with what the “line” between romance and friendship was.

of course, i don’t speak for everyone. you may relate to my experience, and be alloromantic. you may understand me, but think this is some sort of polyamorous “i’m in love will all my friends but am in denial because i know they won’t like me back.”

it doesn’t matter, because i know who i am. despite having a dating history, i identify with the label that allows me to describe myself as clearly as possible.

this post is getting long, i’m sure i’ll be back shortly!

all the best,

mattisaroace

#acespec #arospec #aroace #aromantic #ace pride #aro pride #aromantism #asexual #asexuality #blog #queer blogging #pride month #lgbtqia #lgbtq

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shayberri789 · 2 years

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In honour of Ace Week, I'd like to talk about my experience with growing up ace.

Many, many of my fellow aspecs talk about growing up feeling broken, to the point where I almost felt "fake" because I didn't share this apparently universal experience. (No slander to them by the way, I can recognise myself for being the oddball that I am, and the reason I escaped the self-hatred and broken feeling is. Actually kind of funny)

(Also sorry this is very long and rambly, editing is a bitch on mobile.)

I've always known I was aromantic and asexual. Not the terms, but I know I have been like this since before I can remember. The most important aroace memory I have is the one that saved me over a decade of grief, one I made when I was seven.

I was in grade one, and in a tiny, tiny school with literally only 4 people in my grade. My best friend, Jess, had just broken up with our classmates Thomas (they had been dating the way all 7yos do, and Jess has always been boy crazy). She was ranting to me about him, and I was a bit bored with it, playing about on the patio wall. I distinctly remember saying to her: "I'm never gonna get a crush! Dating is too much drama." And that was that. I promised myself never to get a crush.

And for years, I thought I was fantastic at keeping promises to myself. I was a pretty child, and I've always been kind, and many of my guy friends developed crushes on me, or felt pressured to have a crush and decided I was the best option. I don't know. I turned every one of them down, and said I wasn't going to date because I'd made myself a promise not to. I never developed a crush on anyone myself, and I thought it was because of a promise I made when I was seven. I never felt pressured to have a crush because of that promise, and all my girl friends accepted it too as an answer when they asked if I had a crush. We were like, ten, we didn't know better. None of us even knew what the lgbtqa+ was. Same-sex marriage was only legalised in 2006 in South Africa, and I didn't have a phone or access to the internet until I was 13. We also weren't as steeped in the amatonormative bullshit that comes with growing up, or fandom, or the internet.

When I was around 11-12 years old, we went to the coast to celebrate one of my childhood friend's mom getting married. Both his parents (his mom and later adoptive father) were close family friends, and while we were there I met up with an old friend I'd lost contact with.

I found out Dune, the lost friend, had had a crush on me since pre-primary school. He'd put a ring on his finger and declared that he was going to marry me when we grew up. I think He'd given up the notion by the time we reunited, but it made me feel weird. I started actually thinking about crushes, and my promise, and I worried that maybe I'd been repressing feelings. Did I accidentally close my heart to love because of my promise? But... not having to deal with crushes made my life so much easier, I wasn't sure if I wanted a crush. But I was worried I'd broken myself. It didn't help that when I brought this up to my mom (who is, by the way, an amazing woman and completely supportive of me now and my very queer brother and is bi herself) she said that closing your heart to love was unhealthy, and I should let myself feel things.

In retrospect, that's solid advice. I wish I'd listened to it more before I developed repression of emotions and memories as a coping mechanism to deal with immigration and a new country. But at the time I took it as confirmation I'd broken myself because again, I was eleven, and while I've always been mature for my age I still was lacking a lot of knowledge and growth.

Fortunately, I've always been a stubborn, genuine thing. I only changed parts of myself I didn't like, or thought hurt others, and no one else was allowed to decide that for Me. And I liked the peace not having crushes gave me, and I saved myself many years of grief and worry with that decision. It was three days of worrying about having broken myself, compared to an almost lifetime of many other aspecs.

That conviction was admittedly hard to hold onto though. I had several squishes in my childhood and the following yesrs, or maybe they were actual crushes but I doubt it; and I started becoming vaguely aware that saying I'd made a promise to stay single and unattracted to anyone was a weird reason for turning someone down when you're like 13/14yo. I stopped talking about my promise, but I never got a crush, never wanted one, and never wanted to date. I just kept living my life, even when I immigrated and said family friend's child from earlier, a boy I had been friends with since I was literally three years old, told me he'd been in love with me for five years the day I landed in my nee country. Thanks Vin, that's totally something to drop on your childhood friend when she is busy feeling like she'd lost everything. I spent a week analysing the last couple years of our friendship to figure out if he even cared about me the way I did about him. We're not very close anymore.

A year later, in Year 10/Grade 9, my new best friend invited me around to her house to tell me "something important". When I got there, I found our other friend we'd been growing closer too over the last couple months there already, and they were holding hands. Tess said to me, very gingerly, "Shay, I just wanted to let you know that I'm pan, and Saph and I are dating."

Three things you should know: I was barely aware that "gay" and "lesbian" was a thing at this point, I had no gaydar or ability to predict romance, and had quite frankly forgotten that crushes were a thing. I wasn't even looking for chemistry in my friends. I was caught completely off guard. I had no fucking clue was pansexual was. I'd only just started learning about the queer community and did not know how to react to this, and was suddenly, horribly reminded that my friends were at the stage where they cared more about finding someone to date than plodding on happily with the friendships we had. Tess later told me I "was a bit homophobic because of the way I recoiled with a slightly disguisted look on my face."

Honestly, I think it's because I was disgusted by romance in general and was unprepared for the confession, and was suddenly re-evaluating the entire friend group dynamics. I'm gonna forgive myself if I reacted badly, but I honestly wasn't aware enough of heteronormative culture, had forgotten amatonormativity existed, and didn't know enough about gay people to even be homophobic.

That night, I spent four hours researching the lgbt community to understand as much as I could, to find out how to support my friends and be a good ally. I still thought I was straight, back then. It got to the point where I knew a good deal about the queer community and experiences, enough to help my brother figure out he was pan and trans, and yet I still did not come across any aspec identity. Not in Tumblr screenshots, not on the wiki pages I read, not from word of mouth from the queer people I met irl.

I even went through about a month or so where I thought I was bi. I had enough common sense long before then to realize that a promise made when you're seven should not affect who you crush on, just what you do with those feelings, but it was the only explanation I had, so I quietly stuck with it. When I found out more about the queer community I thought to myself "... am I gay?" And critically evaluated myself, and came to the conclusion I felt the same about guys as I did about girls, and I must be bi, surely? But that didn't feel right, and It honestly made me feel uncomfortable to label myself as that, so I never mentioned it.

Fortunately soon after that, I was talking to one of Tess's old South African friends, who told me he was "asexual" (in hindsight, and seeing how he grew, I think he was actually aromantic. But, it's not my place to tell people how to identify). I didn't know what that meant so googled it, and realized... hey, this covers a lot of how I feel (or rather, what I don't feel). It wasn't quite right, I didn't really understand sexual attraction either (I still don't, really, but I do on a rational level), but it fit me better and explained a hell of a lot more than bisexual did, so I claimed it. Plus, pretty flag.

I tried to come out that pride month. I made an ace flag-coloured version of my profile picture, looked up the pride days for June, and decided I would change my pfp and bio on ace day to come out. Which I did! And many people congratulated me on figuring myself out, even more were confused as to what it was, and the rest didn't notice. But before all that, I'd accidentally come out on aromantic's day, first, much to my fear and embarrassment. I didn't realise I could be both aromantic and asexual. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to be 'special' to fit in with my friends (I value genuineness greatly, and never wanted to appear like I was presenting myself falsely, especially for something like a trend or peer pressure). I quickly changed my pfp and bio before anyone noticed, and did it on the correct day at the end of the month.

Fortunately, it did make me look up aromanticism, and realize this identity fitted the rest of my experiences. But, I still didn't know I could have two identities, because I didn't know about the SAM model. I decided to stick with asexual, because I liked the flag more.

I still felt a bit like an imposter, though, like I wasn't really welcome in the queer community, and I always knew I didn't fit in the cishetallo one. I didn't know any other ace people except for the guy who told me about the term, and he was far too interested in sex and hot people for my comfort. I dedicated myself to learning more about the queer community as a whole, the lived experiences and politics, so that I could continue to support and be with my friends (who had, one by one over the year or so, come out as queer in some way, as one friend group does after the first one bites the bullet) even if I "didn't really belong".

It took me a while to feel fully comfortable as asexual, and to internalise I could be aromantic too and accept that (I called myself Grayromantic for a time because I thought the squishes had been crushes, and I almost wanted to hope I wasn't completely locked from love. I've since learned better and honestly, I'm really happy as plain aroace). I went through a period of trying on all kinds of micro labels to explain my experiences, but I've come to settle on the plain old aroace label. I'm happy, and I'm happy with myself. I also found the sunset aroace flag last year and fell in love with that, too 😂

I'd like to give a huge thank you to @fuckyeahasexual for all the information and support their blog gives, and the experiences and constant acceptance and reassurance that we are all ace, and for the info they give on aromanticism too. It played a huge role in my coming out and being proud, and then being loud and proud for the remaining years of high school. It's allowed me to meet so many more aspec people, and help people figure out their own aspec identities in my real-life community.

So yeah, I am, very extremely aroace. I swing wildly between sex and romance neutral to outright repulsed, and I have no interest in a qpr or any other relationship beyond family and friendship. (Shout out to my brother for getting into a qpr and then telling his actually aroace sister about it last out of everyone!).

I've been aroace my entire life, and I've never wanted to be anything different. I've dealt with my fair share of both microaggressive and straight-up aphobia from strangers, loved ones, fandom and society in general.

And I've never related to those posts about people growing up feeling broken, and for every single aspec out there like me who skated on through life and to their identities without that trauma as well, I tip my hat to you. We are valid, we are no less aspec than those with different traumas to us, and we are no less important or alone or isolated than they are. We're all in this together, and we should all take pride and care in one another. For our similarities and shared experiences, and for our differences. Happy ace week.

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a-tale-never-told · 6 months

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An Apology.

//Greetings, everyone. I completely understand what you might be thinking at this moment, upon looking at this title. You might be thinking "Is he going to repeat another self-deprecating rant about his insecurities about writing and venting on the blog?". To that commonly referred question, the answer is actually no, surprisingly.

//You see, over since yesterday night, I finally came to a realization of just how damaging my own actions were to this entire story blog, and how much of an absolutely selfish asshole I'd become within the past few weeks, and I am greatly ashamed of my behavior towards all of you and how I treated you all during this blog. That was wholeheartedly never the intention to make you all feel uncomfortable with my own mental health issues and anxiety and stress issues, while also placing the burdens of my self-deprecation on you all, especially those who are dealing with other mental health issues themselves.

//Yesterday, I came to a realization of the numerous key reasons why I end up going on these long, venting rants about my writing qualities and why multiple people have felt put off by the story, and I came to a conclusion: It wasn't just the writing quality, but my constant venting and self-deprecation over the issues of my personal life and my rather embarrassing ways on how to handle my depression, as well as several other factors that we'll get into later.

//I just want to elaborate a bit on why I acted this way in particular and why I'm absolutely terrified of my own insecurities: I fear being abandoned in life, both with my loved ones and with my friends, hence why I get constantly paranoid whenever I trust or talk to someone because you never can officially confirm if you can place your absolute trust and faith in that person, even your own closest loved ones. Throughout my entire life, I've been betrayed, manipulated, lied to, and humiliated by those that I considered close to me in my childhood, with my family being the only ones I could definitely trust.

//While I did make a few friendships back then, I certainly wouldn't call it a friendship as we often fought with one another, then we officially made up, and then we had another argument again, and the cycle repeats itself. I honestly never truly felt what it feels like to even have a friendship with another person or human being, as I've never really experienced any true bonds with others. Most of the time, I'd often get shamed, bullied, and harassed by my fellow classmates for the most ridiculous of reasons, and I, unfortunately, had to take it like it was completely normal, even when I tried to give those people the benefit of the doubt and repair our relationships.

//These types of mental behavior that I exhibit are something that I think most of you are familiar with, Social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder is essentially characterized by sentiments of fear and anxiety in social situations, with blushing, trembling, and nausea, as well as having an overwhelming fear of humiliation and embarrassment. When you have that disorder, you start to feel anxious about how people might judge you or if they treat you with scrutiny whenever you interact with them, thus leading you to fear almost any social interaction, especially things like dates or talking to random strangers.

//I'm not saying this as an excuse for my self-depreciation and venting posts, because there are absolutely zero tolerable excuses for that, but it does offer a rationale or explanation as to why I become so mentally unstable to begin with because I never truly had any form of positive interaction with a human being outside of my family, and it wasn't untill this year where I try to overcome my disorder and tried to socialize more with others, though the mental and cognitive social issues still exist. It's just the fact that I get extremely afraid of other people abandoning me and leaving me alone to rot away, so that's why I become extremely paranoid whenever I see others.

//Another main issue is actually what Mod Bubbles pointed out in our conversation together on DMs: Hormonal teen angst. It's no official secret that we, as teenagers, tend to have those periods in life when we often like to complain and beat ourselves up for every single mistake we make in our lives. That's unfortunately part of the development process of becoming a teenager, and the ways I handled it were... less than splendid to say the absolute least, if the vent posts were any indication to go by.

//And speaking of the vent posts, I finally realized that I officially need to stop making these posts, as not only do they add endless filler to the entire blog, but I realized that it's starting to genuinely make all of you rather uncomfortable with how much I self-deprecate and rant about my insecurities towards a group of strangers and burden the rest of you with my own issues, which is definitely not what I wanted to do, but that might officially stem from another problem that I have.

//It's no secret that I've stated countless times that I'm insecure about my own writing, and how I've been writing this arc, while also being mostly a little jealous of the successes of The New Future and especially A Student Out Of Time, which is incredibly ironic when you consider I owe a lot of the inspiration for this blog to ASOOT and his storytelling, and these feelings of inadequacy and jealousy stem all the way back to my younger years, where I would feel jealous that no matter how much effort and hard work I put, I wouldn't become famous as my other classmates, who essentially became popular due to the growing trends of the late 2010s era. Granted, I had zero idea as to what those societal norms were, but it still infuriated me to see these lazy, selfish, bullies become so well respected, while someone like myself had to bear the brunt of their torment.

//Obviously, Bubbles and Freeze are most certainly not those kinds of people, and I respect them tremendously for being talented in their writing skills, but that feeling of jealousy from my middle school years hasn't really shaken off, and whenever I see an like on those two blogs and look at myself, I always return to those years back in middle school, and that instinct to let out my anger of years of being discarded and treated horribly often comes up.

//However, I have now come to a realization that I cannot continue living my life like this, to constantly be in this never-ending cycle of self-loathing and hatred, as this obviously benefits nobody in the end, and only serves to create more hardship for everyone in this space, and making myself look uncaring towards your feelings and acting like an entitled, narcissistic asshole, which is the complete opposite of what I want to convey.

//So I've decided on a new way to constantly improve my behavior and change for the better, and that's the fact that I will do my hardest to improve myself as a person and a human being. Throughout all of this, I have been discarding your attempts to help me with my mental issues, foolishly thinking that I had it all under control when it had become clear to every one of you that I didn't. And I realize that by continuing this downward spiral of self-hatred and frustration, I'm ending up unintentionally hurting the ones who are trying to help me get better, which was not even the intention at all, and I honestly feel tremendously guilty for doing so.

//If there's any form of advice that is relevant to this entire situation that I need to take, it's that I need to be kind towards myself and others. That means that I'll completely devote myself to giving myself time as well as others the time to reflect and cope with their own mental issues, as well as not constantly thinking poorly of anyone for small things, giving you guys space, showing compassion more frequently, and trying to show you all that I'm not some heartless weirdo that doesn't value your insightful advice on things.

//Two sayings resonate with me throughout this entire time I've been writing this post: "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else" and "Actions speak louder than words", both of which are very important to me not only for my mentality but for my own genuine belief as a person, that we should let our own actions, moral or immoral, speak for ourselves rather than just meaningless, hollow words. It goes a long way in improving relationships with other people, and I feel as if I have been constantly repeating the same phrases and promising that I'm going to better myself as a person without actually showing it. That's going to change, starting from this post onward.

//From now on, I take a personal vow to endlessly work and improve myself as a better human being and a better moderator as well, always trying to take your valuable advice at heart, trying to listen to whatever issues you might have, and constantly offer my advice and support to anyone that needs it here, being far more compassionate and understanding of any problems that you guys have, giving you the time and space whenever you need it, and the most valuable and important life lesson of all is to learn to love myself and stop burdening myself and others with my own socialization issues and mental problems.

//I just want to thank everyone who has constantly stuck around throughout this entire journey, despite my constant venting and ranting about my insecurities and childhood issues. A massive shoutout to people like @freezethunder @creepercraftguy @poisonrozen and especially @a-student-out-of-time for helping me and trying to get me out of those constant depressive stages, always being understanding of my problems, and trying to give valuable advice to heal my mental state. You all are amazing people, truly, and you don't know how much your comments and insightful ways of being compassionate towards others mean to me.

//I absolutely hold full accountability and responsibility for my actions, as I believe that my way of handling the situation was idiotic and at worst, hurting the rest of the fanbase. My sincerest apologies if this post was obviously not what you were all expecting from me today, as I originally never planned to make this today, but rather tomorrow once I finished the Kazuichi asks. But I could no longer put my own mental well-being and the well-being of others around me with my constant self-loathing and endless venting and rants about my failures as a writer. Remember that mental well-being always comes first, and for such a year that was absolutely stress-inducing and nerve-wracking on my physical and mental state in 2023, I felt as if I needed to address this issue because this type of selfish, irresponsible behavior needed to stop at some point, and it's better that I address all of this in one single post rather than let this become a gigantic issue later on.

//I hope you all can accept my most sincere and honest apology, from the bottom of my heart. But I know that these words don't mean anything if I can't show that I've changed and put hard work and effort into bettering myself, and I'm making that commitment to change, starting now!

//This is Mod Sam from A Tale Never Told, signing out. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon, everyone!.

#mod talks #a tale never told

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gaast · 3 months

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Why did you start writing horror short stories? You've probably told me before but I'd like to hear again!

Hmmm.

I started writing by writing really awful poetry starting in 5th or 6th grade. I remember in 7th grade English we had to write poems and the teacher read out some of his favorites and he wanted to read one of mine but I said no. That's just how I am.

Anyway, that experience still ruled, because someone in that class wrote something incredible and I was envious.

Well, anyway, one day I overheard a classmate who I respected kinda trashing my poetry, and he was right about it, so I stopped doing poetry and started writing stories. So I was like 13 when that happened, and I was regarded as one of the "emo kids" even if I didn't look the part because I was mentally ill. And also I grew up on like, Invader Zim and the older, edgier Nicktoons, so I was predisposed to writing darker stories.

Almost all of my writing from that era should actually survive on my deviantArt account. I wouldn't recommend it.

I wouldn't necessarily term that writing "horror," though. I was reading more (and therefore getting inspired by) Ayn Rand and Thomas Pynchon at the time (in 9th and 11th grade, respectively), so I wrote more self-consciously metafictional and postmodern stories, for better or worse. So I went from, like, imagining the minds of different fucked up killers to writing a sort of extension of "Six Characters in Search of an Author" mixed with Saw or something.

I sorta stopped writing as I attended college. I joined Tumblr with the fucking url "hewritesthings" and I never wrote things. The last thing I wrote before college was a choose-your-own-adventure-style thread on 4chan's /x/ that turned into a horror comedy piece where an evil flying penis monster was trying to summon John Cusack. That thread got archived.

After I finished grad school, it took me months to get back to reading, let alone writing. The person I was dating at the time and I had been talking about our OCs extensively for years, so I started writing slice of life stories about them as much as I could. Around the time I made this a habit was around the time I started thinking more seriously about what I wanted to do with my writing. At some point I decided I wanted to be published.

I think my repertoire was actually more sci-fi speculative than anything, as a lot of what I wanted to write was actually shit related to technology, as prompted by my Digital Humanities courses in grad school. I had a ton of good ideas I wanted to do for all these different sci-fi concepts, but none really panned out.

Around 2019, though, a few things happened. I joined Mastodon for a while and on the instance I was on I met another writer whose speculative work was inspiring to me. I thought of her as a rival, in a way, as well as a friend. The inspiration she gave me inspired me to write some of the work that I feel denote the transition to my current writing style--"Maintenance," which uses tech to enforce gender binaries in a way verging on horror, as well as the Twines I (at least, at one time) had in my itch page, particularly the one about bleeding out as you hang out with your friend at the mall. That was a bit too self-aware to be horror, but the later Twines I wrote about myself were definitely more in that vein.

Then, for NaNoWriMo, I threw out the initial concept I was developing about life on a space colony and ad-libbed a story about a person with edible skin.

This protagonist stuck with me, and the next year, as my relationship was clearly becoming toxic, I wrote a story expressing my frustrations, using that character as a base. I wrote it for an anthology of queer horror called Skulls & Spells, and it was accepted--my first publication. As part of the promotion for the book, all the authors collected in it answered a few interview questions that they posted on their Kickstarter; these questions were all about horror. And as I answered those questions, I realized that horror was simply the best way to tell queer stories the way I felt they needed to be told.

Because for me, queerness is monstrousness, but it's not right to make that monstrousness empowering. Rather, to be a queer monster, one must be a victim, must be falling apart, must refuse power and wholeness and identity altogether. Every queer story must be a horror story because it cannot fit comfortably within lived (heteronormative) experience.

As such, what got me writing horror was more a long process, fragmented and fitful, of finding myself in my writing and exploring my own philosophies, artistic or otherwise. It's not a grand tale--I was 13 and wrote about creepy forests or some shit to writing about gay robots in my 20s to now focusing on body horror as I hit 30--but it's a process that's still developing.

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mattzerella-sticks · 2 years

Text

I would love if Buck and Eddie’s relationship took inspiration from Monica and Chandler's from Friends in that I want staggered reveals.

I think Maddie should be the first to know, and not only does she keep their secret she also provides excuses to cover for what they were doing - despite Maddie herself thinking they're stupid for keeping it a secret. She feels she owes it to Buck, especially since he looks so happy, but also that it's really not her place to tell.

Then after a few episodes where it simmers in the background, Chimney finds out. He's worse to agree to keep the secret, but Eddie, Buck, and Maddie swear him to it. It's kind of obvious how much he's struggling trying to keep the secret. But in that very same episode, at the end (because the reveal to him happens at the beginning) he is out with Hen and Bobby. Bobby steps away for a minute, and that's when Hen recognizes Eddie’s truck at the light. She sees Eddie and Buck and is about to call them over but then she sees them kiss and she starts freaking out, which is what ends the episode.

Cue Chimney dragging her out of sight and revealing Eddie and Buck’s secret in the beginning of the next episode, telling her "I [Chimney] know, Maddie knows, but Bobby - doesn't - know!"

Which is, of course, when Bobby finds them again.

Eddie and Buck are still at the light.

Hen and Chimney now have to make sure Bobby doesn't see them, even at the expense of looking weird.

Later on, Hen, Chimney, and Maddie are talking about Buck and Eddie. Maddie wants this to end since enough of them know now that it doesn't matter. Chimney is on her side up until Hen suggests they mess with them, reminding Chimney of all the times they lied about what they were doing to go and do it at work. Chimney is okay with keeping the secret a little while longer, especially since Hen technically doesn't know yet.

So Hen and Chimney begin teasing Buck and Eddie. Make them actually do their chores, joining them on outings or splitting them up on purpose for errands, and even suggesting to Eddie that there's a classmate of hers he would absolutely hit it off with, in front of Buck.

This clues Buck off, especially when Chimney horribly pretends to not laugh.

Buck and Eddie go to Maddie and ask her if Hen knows, and she nods. As they blow up, Maddie is like "But now that you know they know, we can just drop all pretense and you can stop hiding!"

Except Buck ignores her because he wants to get back at Hen and Chimney, and tells Eddie to take Hen up on her offer to set him up with her friend. He also makes Maddie promise to keep this secret, too.

Hen and Chimney are devastated to hear this, knowing that it's going to mess with the 118 if Buck and Eddie have a falling out. They're expressing their own doubts and Maddie is trying not to say 'I told you so' but is still like 'maybe you shouldn't have tried teasing them about this...' because she can't help herself.

Hen catches on though, and realizes that Buck and Eddie must be playing them! Chimney agrees, and so they turn on Maddie, asking her if they know that they know that they know.

Her lips thin as she confirms, "They know."

So at this point it's chicken, the only two people not interested in playing are Maddie and Eddie. Maddie is detained by Chimney and Hen so she can't do anything, and Eddie can't talk reason to Buck when he's like this so he goes along for him.

It's the night of the 'date'. Hen comes over to help Eddie, and this is where we get our Phoebe-Chandler scene from the Friends episode except instead of either Hen or Eddie putting moves on the other, she's asking him about what he plans to do on the date and talking about sex and how he would go about it.

Eddie is awkward and it shows. He has to go to the bathroom where Buck is lying in wait to give him a pep talk and sends him back out there. Meanwhile Hen is talking to Maddie and Chimney on Eddie’s doorstep and figuring out the next plan.

Eddie asks if Hen is leaving when he sees her close the door, Hen tells him she thought she saw her friend's car but she was wrong. They up the ante, waiting for the other to confess while all parties listen in.

Maddie is sick and tired of this so she rings the doorbell.

Both Hen and Eddie turn. Eddie asks who it can be. Hen lies on the spot, "It's your date! Obviously... who else could it be?"

Eddie hesitates, and Hen asks if he's nervous. He tells her no. He walks towards the door but he looks sick. He has a hand on the know.

That's his breaking point. He says he can't do it, he can't go on the date.

Hen laughs and asks why.

"Because I'm in love with Buck!"

Shock.

Buck tumbles out of the bathroom while Maddie and Chimney burst onto the scene from the front door.

Eddie’s still going, "I love Buck. I'm in love with him, okay?"

Buck, amazed, "You... what?"

Eddie brings him close, "I love you."

Hen coos at them and slaps their shoulders. "Why didn't you say so? I thought you two were just screwing behind our backs... we wouldn't have done any of this if we knew you two were in love!"

They all gather in Eddie’s kitchen for coffee, only after Hen confirms there was never any friend to go on a date with Eddie, and Chimney says he's happy for Buck and Eddie, but also that there's no more secrets being kept.

They exchange a look. Buck says that they still haven't told Bobby, and that they'll probably need to keep this a secret until then.

No one is that happy anymore.

However it doesn't take long for Bobby to find out. He and Athena are out for a night on the town when she sees some fogged up windows. She's off duty but she still pulls over. It's a residential neighborhood after all, anyone could walk past. She pulls up behind it and gets out, telling Bobby it'll only be a second. "Probably just horned up teenagers with little imagination and nowhere else to go."

She knocks on the door and orders the occupants to stop whatever it is they're doing and roll the window down.

The car stops shaking, however there's no other action.

Athena knocks again, threatening arrest if the window isn't rolled down in three seconds.

The window rolls down, and Athena is surprised to find Buck and Eddie in hastily thrown together outfits and swollen lips.

She recovers and asks them what's going on, then stops them because it was very obvious what's been going on. "Does anyone else know?"

They explain, ending with "But Bobby doesn't know. We haven't found the right time to tell him."

Athena nods, but then tells them there's no time like the present. Their eyes widen. She tells them he's in the car behind them.

Except he isn't anymore.

He's gotten out of it at some point because Athena was taking too long and now he sees Buck and Eddie.

Athena walks to Bobby's side and wraps her arm around his waist. "I think your boys have something they want to tell you."

And that's how everyone finds out.

#9 1 1 on fox #eddie diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #buckeddie #buddie #this post got out of hand #i didnt want to write this fic because i knew it would take me forever lol but this post is almost as good i guess #maddie buckley #howie chimney han #henrietta wilson #bobby nash #athena grant

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despair-to-future-arcs · 5 months

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FU Bitch-sensei’

The fact that women didn't allow you to get a passport must of been frustrating...

No kidding, like it takes 5 days to get a passport as long as you have a guardian so it should be fine! Hell even Sonia, Hiyoko and a few of our classmates have one so why don't I have one?!

...Now I'm starting to remember that sexy soup incident that occur.

Sexy Soup incident? Can you go into more details about it?

Well I remember that Yukio wanted to have us all bond and become friends, which of course Fuyuhiko and Sonia weren't around and then Hiyoko drugged the soup.

While yes, Teruteru did bring the drugs and he did get reprimanded of course but then our class try to confront Hiyoko...and well...

...

Date: April 18th, 2010

So... have all of you calm down from that hangover?

ugggh, that... that soup wa-wasn't good and I had to cl-clean up the whole class...ugh...

My loins still hurt, they hurt s-soooo badly...

Well... maybe instead you shouldn't have drugged the whole damn class and thank god myself, Sonia, Yukio and Hatomi were sober...

I did not need to get yell at by my old man for what happen or he might assume I was blackmail.

Indeed, probably it's a good thing I wasn't around otherwise I would never heard the end of mother fretting over me and assume I was kidnapped.

Still... I'm surprise all this happen all because I wanted everyone to get along and befriend each other, y'know?

Is...is this really my fault, did I really get everyone hurt just to have all this happen? I feel really bad...

Yukio, bud... don't blame yourself; all you did was have us be friends.

I would have to agree with that, from my understanding you just wanted us to be friends and cooperate as a classmates.

So... don't fault yourself too much...

Well uh, thank you Peko and Ibuki... at least that helps a lot...

At least I was able to stop Mikan from hurting herself or uh, trying to push her sword where she might regret it later so think nothing of it, Peko.

I-I see, um... of course...

But yeah man, it was a nice gesture is all...

Ye-Yeah and we got a lot of photos too so don't worry!

Yeah Yukio, all you did was have us bond and be friends so it's okay...

But I think a certain 2 people should apologize, right Hiyoko and Teruteru?

Wh-What?! Why are you lumping me with the gross molestor! I had nothing to do with this!

Because while sure Teruteru brought the drugs and at least Teruteru is going to apologize for it, your the one that put in that aphrodisiac and got everyone high and horny. Hell you better be glad that no one got sexually assaulted or raped and you better be glad I didn't let Teruteru touch you!

Exactly, do you realize how bad that is?! You nearly cause a big mess Teruteru and Hiyoko!

Sh-Shuuuut upppppp!!! Th-That wasn't suppose to happen! I'm already got a headache from that soup, leave me alooooone!!!

Oh...ri-right, that...I should do that...

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starlitangels · 2 years

Text

The Traps We Build

The title actually comes from Avior when he talks about Freelancers and Inchoates compared to their specialized kin... but make it D.A.M.N. fam Season One 2.0k words CW: discussion of prejudices

—

“My head hurts,” I complained as I walked with Terry out of Intermediate Mental Disciplines. The last telepathy/empathy/dreamwalking course I’d have to take for my full certification credits. Which was good because those three magical branches were hard for me to get any kind of control over.

“Yeah,” Terry agreed. Another Freelancer. He rubbed his temples. “I can’t tell if it’s the Meridian giving me hell for magic drain or just the fact that we’re all too clumsy with our powers when we go into each other’s thoughts.”

“Same,” I agreed. My phone went off in my pocket. “Oh. Hang on. I gotta check that.”

Damien🔥: My place, 5:00 tonight?

Terry peered over my shoulder. “Hot date?” he asked.

I snorted. “No. Damien’s a classmate. We’re in Intermediate Psychokinetic Manipulatory Studies together, and were in Introductory together. He, uh, he’s magic-born. We study together. He tutors me. In more... than just... magic. I’m really behind on magic culture and he knows it all.” I cleared my throat. “Last semester... someone bridged with me when I didn’t know what it meant. Damien has been helping make sure something like that never happens to me again.”

“So why the flame next to his name, if he’s not a hot date?”

I snorted. “He’s a Fire Elemental, Terry,” I replied with a chuckle. I texted Damien back as I spoke. Yeah. See you then. “I figured that’d be obvious.”

Terry blinked owlishly at me. “Well... no. It wasn’t.”

“Why?”

“Fire Elementals... are notorious for... not connecting with people very well. They’re temperamental. Hot-headed.” He cleared his throat. “You should be careful. Around him. You might get... burned. In both a literal and figurative sense.”

It took all the self-control I had not to roll my eyes. “I appreciate the advice. But Damien’s... he’s good. He’s a good friend.” My grip tightened around my phone. “Anyway. I gotta head to my healing class or I’m gonna be late. I’ll see you later.” I waved and started to head off, shoving my phone in my pocket and clenching my bag strap in my fist.

“See ya!” Terry called.

While I walked, I let my thoughts spiral. I tried not to let it happen too often, but Terry’s words sent my mind racing.

I’d spent my first semester desperately trying to figure out this whole magical world—and being a bit spiteful about Gavin’s comment that Freelancers were masters of none. Before I got to know him better.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that there was still prejudice in the magical world. That the specialized races had preconceived notions about each other, and Freelancers. Terry wasn’t the first classmate who’d said that Damien was probably dangerous for me to be around.

Instead of ignoring said classmates, I’d been using their words as even more fuel for my spite. I liked Damien. He was passionate with a deep heart that he didn’t like showing people. I was going to be friends with him whether my classmates liked it or not. Not just out of spite. Also because he was a good guy under all those layers and behind all those walls, and I genuinely wanted to be his friend. My other classmates’ reservations about someone they didn’t even know just made me all the more determined.

Not that I’d ever tell anyone.

I yanked my phone back out of my pocket. Want me to bring dinner?

Damien🔥: Sure, if you want.

—

“I think you should consider requesting to be transferred to a different guidance counselor,” Alicia remarked as I read over the email I’d gotten from Lasko.

I looked up from my laptop. “Why?”

“Well... it’s just... I’ve heard about him. Air Elemental, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

She shrugged. “Air Elementals are... flighty. Spacey, if you will. Scatterbrained, even. There’s a reason people nicknamed them Airheads.” Yeah, prejudice and closed-mindedness, I thought sarcastically. Alicia wasn’t done. “I can’t imagine he’s a particularly... effective guidance counselor. I mean, mine’s a Telepath—she always seems to just know the best class order for me for the coming semester. Hasn’t steered me wrong yet. Maybe you could get transferred to her.”

I took a deep breath through my nose and bit my tongue. “Thanks, Alicia,” I said. I glanced down at my watch. “I should get going. I have a study session with a friend in an hour and I gotta grab dinner beforehand.”

She gave me a smile that was probably supposed to be warm, but seemed condescending. “Just think about it, Freelancer, yeah?”

I made a noncommittal grunt and slipped my laptop into my backpack. I slung it onto my back and pushed myself to my feet. “Bye.”

“See ya.”

I stalked off, trying to seem like I wasn’t losing my temper. Lasko was a great guy, and I imagined he’d be a great friend, if we ever had the chance to hang out in a social situation, rather than a professional one.

Not a particularly effective guidance counselor my ass, I thought as I wove through the later-afternoon crowd of students milling about the hallway.

Everything I’d ever asked of Lasko, he’d done. Unless school policy absolutely forbade him from doing so. He’d processed that override to get me into Intermediate Healing and got the prereq of Intro to Healing waived so I could jump into the higher-level class without too much pushback. So, maybe he seemed like a bit of a pushover, but it came from a desire in him to help. To do the best he could for whomever he could. That was a trait to be admired.

Who cared if he stumbled over his words and had anxiety? It wasn’t like those things made him a bad person or bad at his job. He was good at his job and so incredibly kind. Sure he tended to overshare information he probably shouldn’t, but I understood where that impulse came from.

Lasko Moore had been nothing but a fantastic counselor for me. I was going to be really happy for him—and a little sad for myself—when he finally got what he deserved and became a professor here at the academy.

—

“Bye Hux! Lunch next week on me?” I asked as I backed up to head to my next class.

“Sure thing, dude. See you then!” He gave me a broad smile and an enthusiastic wave as he headed off for his next class.

“See you in Elemental Control!” I waved back and ducked into the admin building to cut through it on my way to History of Magic.

“Yo! Freelancer!” a familiar voice said close by. Emery jogged up to me, falling into step beside me. “Headin’ to History?”

“Yep.” I nodded.

“Mind if I walk with you?”

“Sure.”

Emery was an Illusory who I had History of Magic with. They were nice, all things considered. Magic-born. The only other humanborn I knew was Lasko.

“So who were you talking to before you came in?” they asked casually.

“Oh, that’s Huxley.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Nah. Classmate. We’re in Introductory Elemental Control together. But he’s a third year.”

“He a Freelancer too or an Elemental or...?”

“Elemental.”

“Oh fun. What kind?”

“Earth.”

Emery nodded slowly. And I braced for what I knew was about to come.

“Out of curiosity, is he a total hippie?”

I shook my head. “No. He’s pretty grounded and down-to-Earth.” Both puns very much intended, but I also meant what I was saying.

Emery hummed thoughtfully. “Huh. Most Earth Elementals are either total hippies or dumb as rocks.”

“That’s not very nice,” I said, sharper than I meant to.

Emery shrugged, hitching their backpack higher up their shoulders. “Just the general trend,” they said.

I forced myself to stop clenching my jaw. “Huxley’s not like that. He’s not necessarily the most book-smart individual I’ve ever met but I’ve never known someone as emotionally intelligent as he is. Like, I’m pretty good at understanding people, but Huxley does it so naturally. He just gets people in a way that I never can. And he’s so kind—he’s helped me understand so much about the fundamental basics of magic that I never would have learned otherwise. He taught me, like, what a Core is—what Threads do.” I left the bit about the bridging lesson off. Emery didn’t need to know about that.

“Interesting,” they said. I heard something in their tone. They didn’t quite believe me.

Wallow in your prejudice, then, I thought. Let me have my best friends in peace. No preconceived notions of what they were “supposed” to be just because of the magic they were born into.

—

Gavin😈💖: See you tonight, deviant 😉

I bit my lower lip in a smile, quickly sending a response. See you tonight. Looking forward to it.

I received another winking emoji—and a string of others that I quickly moved to hide from Terry’s view as he fell into step beside me. “Okay,” he said. “You’ve gotta be smiling at your boyfriend this time. You don’t grin like that for some classmate.”

I snorted and gestured vaguely. “It’s... complicated. We’re not dating. I don’t think he and I ever... I don’t know. I like him a lot though.”

“Let me guess...” Terry narrowed his eyes at me. “Dreamwalker. I’ve heard they’re very romantic.”

I chuckled. “Nope.”

“Water Elemental.”

I flinched. Terry didn’t seem to notice. “Definitely not.”

“Okay. Balance of probability: another Freelancer.”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“Who is he?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“C’mon, I’m not gonna judge you.”

No. Just Gavin, I thought. “No, I don’t think I will.”

“Pleeease?” he whined.

“What if I told you he was an incubus?” I retorted with a tone that was obviously sarcastic and meant to be taken as a joke.

“Then I’d tell you to use protection. But incubi are super rare—I doubt it.”

I waved dismissively. “I’m just messing with you. He’s a Psychokinetic,” I lied.

“Good. Because... I’ve never met an incubus but I can’t imagine they’d be faithful partners.”

“What makes you say that?”

He shrugged. “I doubt one person can provide the amount of energy on a consistent basis that a demon needs to feed on to be consistently nourished.”

I shrugged. “Well, how would we know? Most empowered people barely know anything about demons, right?”

He bobbed his head side-to-side. “Pretty much.”

I snorted. “Well, I gotta head to healing. See you Friday.”

“See you Friday.”

I waved and strode off. Terry waved back before turning a corner and disappearing.

My classmates who I wasn’t close to had a lot to learn. Maybe it was just my experiences as a humanborn—not knowing anything about the magical world beforehand—but it seemed strange to me that stereotypes were so pervasive in this hidden community. Like, if they were trying to stay hidden, why didn’t they band together a bit more?

It seemed like magic-born people were setting themselves up for destruction. Building their own traps that they would get caught in. How magic had managed to remain covert for so long was an absolute mystery to me.

Sure, I didn’t know if Gavin was having other dalliances—but it wasn’t my business. We weren’t dating. It wasn’t like our relationship was an exclusive one.

And Gavin was, underneath it all, a good guy. He played the arrogant incubus who cared about nothing and no one but himself—but there was so much more to him than that. I could see it. I could feel it every time we just sat on the couch and ate leftover pizza while I finished my homework and he was waiting for me to get done so we could have our fun. There was a lot of deep emotion there that he didn’t show anyone. Maybe not even himself.

It wasn’t my business to try and get him to lower those walls. If he wanted to open up to me more, the only thing I could control was myself. Making sure he knew it was safe for him to open up to me.

We’d get there, if he wanted to.

And maybe I could show other empowered people that the races different from them weren’t as different as they thought.

#Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted Freelancer #Freelancer #Starlit Fic

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wanderrlust0 · 10 months

Text

2/2

it ties into the female attention & peaking his interest even if its by the slightest. idk, like i said, this happened almost 3yrs ago when we were in a tough spot unfortunately and ive put it all behind me and weve been moving forward. i know how he feels about me & we would hate to ever lose each other. its just after hearing about this new news to me, i feel like it triggered my brain into thinking about how he can maybe feel things easily towards people. also, hes already apologized to me about the stuff in the past so i dont really feel any more of the frustrations that i felt bc at first he was not seeing my side of things and i was feeling so annoyed by that. luckily, thats all over now. i still get a little attentive when it comes to his classmates & any other girl i hear about bc then i start thinking, well is she pretty, does she like him, does he like her, how much do they talk, etc. which is just a normal girl thing..i think lol. im not totally insecure but it is easy to feel some type of way. so, i think i expressed everything i wanted to. i replied to the other guys msg and i honestly feel kinda bad for him but i hope they can work things out..

edit 7/29: not to add More things to this but.. i hung out with him today & i could tell that he felt terrible about himself for that happening & he felt like i was letting him off too easy. like, just not getting mad or lashing out i guess. im too shy to do that to him tho but i did say how i did think about it a lot & that you two were honestly stupid for doing that. also, how i did feel bad for her husband. i didnt say much more than that but if i did i just wouldve said like, you two knew it would ruin the friendship. even tho it didnt right away, look at it now. just bc you two couldnt put your sexual thoughts aside. but you know what, it just goes to show that it was always ever so slightly present since the beginning of the friendship. they both have had thoughts of fucking already & they finally caved. so he was given the chance to sleep with her & he took it bc 1, it benefited him and 2, hes been secretly wanting to do that. IM STILL NOT OVER THE WHOLE BREAK THING (kinda am) BUT I CANT DWELL ON IT. i just asgdjflk. like broT-T ..made me believe that we were just not gonna talk as much, yet still be friends. it was both of our first time trying out a break. he made me believe that wed be back together once things chilled out & we could hang out normally since it was covid year (honestly was torture & i was in one of my lowest moments). He made me be under the impression that he just needed some spaceeee. I didnt think it was to the point where he felt like he was single, ready to mingle!!! like dude didnt even wait that long to find a whatever rebound, then had the guts to cry to me about stuff i didnt understand at the time but then later found out it was over some other girl!!T-T posting a fricken poem on his story & telling me a lie. turning off his location. taking longer & longer to reply, then not replying for almost a day. But yeah sure, telling me we’d still talk during this time, just not as romantic. sending me snaps of his dealer writing a little “cute” ass note w a heart on it. whyy would your dealer even do that. like she obviouslyyy wouldnt do that for just anyone. posting on your story about something that had to do w him being available & wanting to date. until finally he starts talking to me like he used to bc oh yeah, he wants me back. meanwhile, i havent even thought of myself being single or looking to find a new romantic partner. idk, that all messed w my head soo much. AAND that stupid poem was hung up on his wall for literallyyy monthsD; i couldnt even loook at that wall while we were being intimate bc it turned me off so much & didnt have the guts to mention it. he finally replaced it w something i gave him & when i saw it i was like about time & i showed it to my friend. i got sidetracked but that was important to let out. back to his friend..me knowing that hes been cheated on & how much it has affected him, i would think that he wouldnt enable someone else to do it to their partner the way his ex did it to him?! that was another thing i wouldve told him. i guess i just didnt feel like hurting him more than he already felt about himself.. but to wrap it up, i think were done with it. he kept complimenting me all day. he feels like he should unfollow her off everything now. they honestly havent really talked in a long time & they havent been close like they used to be so its not like they talk. he just doesnt wanna be involved with her & her hubby at all after this. he said i should unfollow also. tbh, i sort of dont want to? is that weird.. i feel like i should be hating her more but i also dont feel enough hate to remove her from ig. idk..he also might ask her how her husband found out. idk its like a sticky situation bc i wouldnt describe my feelings as hurt towards everything. i felt shocked, but not completely surprised. i felt old feelings that i felt when i first found out he hooked up w people during our break & now there was more to uncover. i felt like my suspicions were proven.

#journal #mypost #continued in the comments

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skullshadowdragon · 2 years

Text

Snippet of an upcoming Bakukami fic I'm writing. Tell me your thoughts

A/N: This is a work in progress and definitely needs a few changes. I'm posting it here to ask if I should continue and finish this. It's such a dumb idea but I just wanted some feedback.

Denki didn't really have the best luck in his dating life. Out of all his friends, he had the worst luck.

Now, he didn't have no experience, just very little and even that wasn't a lot. He had gone on a few dates with people here and there but he had come to realise that he preferred befriending the person he was dating before actually dating them.

Because of that he had very little luck in dating. He's had his fair share of crushes. More than a few cause he can't help but crush on anyone that he thinks is cool.

But he really thought that this would be the one. He thought that he would finally land a partner.

Denki had befriended Shinsou back in their first year and started flirting with him at the beginning of second year. Towards the middle off second year, he had asked out Shinsou on a date.

By then he had gone on a couple of dates. He had gone with friends, who he asked out and they politely went on one or two dates with him. He almost got a record of how many classmates he dated because he dated a good couple of them.

Even managed to get some dates from students in other classes. But they usually never got past the first date. So he was confident that he could get past 3 dates with Shinsou, maybe even start actually dating him.

And he did. He had gone on two dates with Shinsou. And everything was going good with them. Until, it kinda hadn't.

To Denki, there wasn't anything that went wrong. He just assumed that Shinsou stopped liking being around Denki because he wouldn't be sitting in the common room staring at his phone at the text Shinsou had sent him.

Shinsou: I won't be able to make it to the date today. Got caught up in something Shinsou: We can reschedule for another day if you want?

Denki sighed and put his phone down upside down. He knew that Shinsou lost interest. That's how most of his dates had gone if they didn't want to go on another. That or they were nice enough to tell him they weren't interested in more.

Which really sucked for Denki because he had already booked a restaurant in advance for this and even got dressed a little early in excitement.

He was so excited because he was gonna ask Shinsou to officially date him after the date and hoped it would go good.

"Hey Denks, another failed date?" Sero asked, hoping over the couch to sit with his friend.

"Yeah, you could say that." Denki said, turning to look at his friend.

"Did Shinsou turn you down? You look sad while dressed up so I can't assume much." Denki sometimes wish that he didn't confide in Sero as much as he did because of course he would know that it was Shinsou related.

"Yeah. I don't think he's interested in me." Denki said as he showed Sero the message he got.

"Oh, shoot man. I'm sorry about that." Sero said, giving Denki a side hug who smiled a little and leaned into it.

"Eh, its fine. I feel like I set myself up for failure." Sero punched Denki lightly at that statement.

"Nah. I think everyone is an idiot for not wanting to date you." Sero stated confidently and Denki laughed lightly at that.

"Does that include you too? Considering you didn't want to date me cause you like our resident powerhouse." Denki mentioned.

"Yep, even me. Speaking of, I told Midoriya that we'd do some homework together so I gotta head up now." Sero said as he got up.

"Uh huh, I see how it is. You're just gonna ditch me and leave me to wallow in my self pity." Denki teased and Sero laughed while heading to the kitchen.

"Yeah, you can tell me all about the self pity later. I have a study date to get to." Sero said, heading to the elevators with a few snacks in his arm and Denki sighed lightly.

He decided to hang out in the common room instead of doing anything else, just kind of scrolling on his phone as he sat there. People came and went, some greeting him but none really engaging in conversation with him.

"Fuckin Sparky. What're you doing in the fucking common room all dressed up?" Bakugou asked as he entered the common room.

"Was supposed to go on a date with Shinsou. He cancelled ten minutes ago so now I have nothing to do. I had a reservation at a restuaraunt but I think I gotta cancel." Denki casually said, half looking up at Bakugou.

"When's the reservation for?" Bakugou asked and Denki looked up at Bakugu fully.

"Uh, it's in like 30 to 40 minutes I think." Denki remembered and Bakugou nodded.

"Noted." Bakugou said as he went to the elevators. Denki shrugged it off and grabbed his charger, plugging it into his phone.

He put the other end in his mouth and lightly let out volts enough to charge his phone. He kept scrolling through tiktok and instagram before he got bored and put his phone down, looking up at the cieling again.

Denki didn't know how much time had passed, he was pretty sure a good bit did, but he was startled by Bakugou's face appearing over him.

"Come on." Bakugou stated and Denki sat up, confused. Luckily Bakugou had backed up by then and they didn't knock heads but they were very close to.

"What do you mean come on? I don't remember making plans." Denki stated and Bakugou gruffed a little.

"No, but you have a stupid fucking reservation at a place that I fucking know you like because you've talked about it a good couple of times. So to not let it go to fucking waste, I'll go with you if none of these shitty extras are going to." Bakugou said and this confused Denki more.

"It's fine dude. I was gonna cancel it and I don't care that much." Denki said as he got up.

"Fuck that. You've been talking about this all fucking week. If some stupid extra ain't going to go with you, then I will. I don't give a shit. Now get your shoes on and let's go. We gotta go to Aizawa for permission to go off-campus." Bakugou said and Denki smiled slightly.

Well, he had nothing to lose so he might as well go with a friend. At least he can say he got to go on a half-date with Bakugou. Denki put his shoes on and made his way to the door with Bakugou.

They made their way to the teacher's building and asked Aizawa to go off campus for a bit, giving the address to Aizawa just in case anything happened. This was more of a formality as they were more than capable of taking care of themselves, but it was for emergencies sake.

"I still don't know why you decided to come with me. I could have cancelled." Denki stated and Bakugou huffed.

"Because if that mindfucker is going to stand you up, then you deserve to actually have some sort of a good night. It aint fucking fair for you to plan all this and get basically ditched last minute." Bakugou explained and Denki laughed lightly.

"I didn't know you cared." Denki teased and Bakugou huffed.

"Of fucking course I do. You guys decided to attatch yourselves to me last year and now we are, unfortunately, friends. Im fucking stuck with you idiots." Bakugou stated and Denki smiled lightly.

"Well it's nice to hear that you actually think of me as a friend." Denki said as they got to the restuarant.

Denki and Bakugou went up to the host, Denki giving his name for his reservation and being led to a booth where they sat across from each other.

"Sorry, this was more reserved with a date in mind. If it makes you uncomfortable we can leave and go somewhere else." Denki apologised and Bakugou rolled his eyes.

"It's fucking fine. I know what it was reserved for and you have nothing to apologise for. I fucking decided to come with you instead so I don't care." Bakugou said as they looked over their menus.

"Oh, I think you should get this. It's got a good amount of spice and I know you like spice. Plus you can always ask for it to be extra spicy." Denki said, pointing at a menu item, showing it to Bakugou.

"This is your favourite restaurant so I'm fucking trusting you." Bakugou, seeming settled on Denki's recommendation. Denki beamed that Bakugou trusted him with the recommendation and settled on his option.

The waiter soon approached them and they both gave their orders. Once the waiter left, they fell into a silence. But Denki didn't want to just sit there in silence.

"Didn't you come back from training when you saw me in the common room?" Denki questioned and Bakugou nodded.

"Yeah. Saw you fucking pouting or whatever in the common room so I came to see what happened." Bakugou said and Denki furrowed his eyebrows.

"So, you went and had a shower and got changed in all of like, twenty minutes. Just because I was sulking?" Denki asked.

"Yeah. It wasn't fucking hard." Bakugou said.

"I can't believe you even got dressed up for it. Man you didn't have to do this." Denki said and Bakugou lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was fucking necessary. If you were gonna be dressed up then I'm gonna look 10x better." Bakugou said.

Denki laughed and they fell into silence.

"Do you really think that I don't think of you as my friend?" Bakugou asked.

"Huh. What brought this up?" Denki asked.

"Earlier. You fucking said something like you thought it was nice that I finally thought of you as a friend." Bakugou recalled and Denki stared at Bakugou in thought for a second before recalling their small conversation on the walk.

"Oh, yeah. Well, it's not that I don't think of you as a friend. It's that sometimes that you are a little hard to read so between all the insults and angry words, I can't really identify the line between friends and classmates." Denki explained and Bakugou huffed.

"Of course we're fucking friends. Don't doubt me for a second." Bakugou declared and Denki laughed.

"Okay, I won't doubt it again." Denki said between a few giggles.

"Did you do your homework?" Bakugou asked, which caused Denki to pause. He laughed sheepishly at that and Bakugou rolled his eyes, knowing the answer.

"Look, I got way to excited for this and then decided to do it later after the date so I didn't lose my excitement. I realise it's a stupid thing to do but I thought it was a good idea at the time. I promise I'll do it when I get back." Denki rambled and Bakugou sighed.

#Bakukami #Kamibaku #kaminari #bakugou #denki #katsuki #denki kaminari #bakugo katsuki #my hero academia #mha #bakugou x kaminari #bnha #boku no hero academia #snippet

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