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#hes telling a story about his adventures to someone
transform4u · 2 days
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Working as an intern for the local Democratic Party is hard enough, but it's gotten worse with the Republican candidate for mayor trying hard to recruit me and my friends to work for him. It's annoying that he thinks that I'd work for someone like him, and offensive that he thinks I'm on the same level as the dumb frat bros that work for him. They keep saying they'll help me understand, but I'm not too sure..
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Sitting at your computer, you’re immersed in crafting a blog post about Kamala Harris for President, fueled by a mix of caffeine and idealism. The rhythmic clatter of your fingers on the keyboard is your only companion until a new email notification disrupts the flow. You glance at the screen, and there he is: Harlow Binger, the obnoxious Republican mayoral candidate, his waxy smile practically oozing through the pixels.
You try to close the email—click, click, click—but the cursor stubbornly hovers, refusing to cooperate. Defeated, you begin reading the email. Words like “conservative” and “family values” flood your vision, and your eyes glaze over as you fight the urge to roll them. Suddenly, without warning, the national anthem blares from your speakers, and your screen erupts in an eerie red glow.
A chill races down your spine as you feel an odd twitch in your body, a strange sensation as if time itself is rewinding. Your muscles begin to lean out; it’s like you’re shedding layers of stress and doubt and age? The wrinkles around your eyes smooth away, and that familiar anxiety melts into an almost blissful calm. You're regressing back in time, as the years wash away from your face and body. You glance down to see your casual attire morphing into something preppy—polo shirts and crisp khakis start to materialize on your frame.
You feel every muscle in your body shift, groaning with the effort, but instead of pain, there’s an exhilarating sense of rejuvenation. It’s as if each fiber of your being is shedding the weight of years and worries, leaving behind only vitality and promise. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the screen, and you’re struck by the vision before you: a young man radiating effortless charm.
Standing tall and lean, you embody an athletic frame that speaks to countless hours spent on the soccer field and in the gym, where dedication has sculpted your body into something enviable. Your toned abs reveal not just physical commitment but a zest for life that resonates deeply. The contours of your muscles tell a story of resilience and energy, each line a testament to your active lifestyle.
Your face is classically handsome, a harmonious blend of features that draw people in. A chiseled jawline frames your expression, exuding strength and confidence. Warm, inviting eyes sparkle with mischief and kindness, glinting like sunlight on a serene lake. There’s a playful glimmer in your gaze, suggesting you’ve always got a clever quip at the ready, or a light-hearted joke to brighten someone’s day.
A tousled mop of sun-kissed hair frames your face, perfectly styled yet effortlessly casual, as if you’ve just rolled out of bed and into the world. Each strand seems to catch the light, adding to that inviting aura. It’s the kind of look that hints at spontaneity and adventure, an invitation for others to join you on whatever path you choose.
In this moment, you exude a magnetic confidence that draws people in like moths to a flame. Your laughter is infectious, echoing with the joy of living fully and authentically. But it’s not just the looks—it’s the energy. You radiate a blend of earnestness and playful wit, ready with venomous quips and dismissive insights. Your anger and rage is infectious, pulling people into your orbit with magnetic confidence. Deeply rooted in your Christian values, you navigate life with purpose, advocating for your beliefs with a balance of passion and respect.
You’re the guy who volunteers at church on weekends, always ready to lend a hand, and----your head starts to sting and there it is the nauseous feeling you were afraid to let in. What you once thought of as the vile, repulsive stench of Republican ideology begins to permeate every fiber of your being. It sears its insidious tendrils deep into your psyche, burning away any shred of compassion or empathy. Slowly, inexorably, kindness and humanity become alien concepts, replaced by an overwhelming imperative to prove superiority - to feel better than everyone else. Only those pure of heart who uphold tradition and submission to a strict patriarchal hierarchy earn any modicum of dignity and respect. All others are fair game to mock, abuse and annihilate. Faggots and Woke freaks represent a special kind of evil that needs to be excised. Their depraved degeneracy is a poison in the nation's womb that must be flushed out, along with their abortion-loving, gender-bending mothers. These modern feminazis and their sissie boys have no place in sane, civilized society. It is their twisted goal to corrupt the minds and bodies of our children through public schools.
The metallic warmth of the gold cross presses against your chest, pulsating with an all-consuming need. Each word you utter drips with a dark, twisted passion - the desire to spread not only the Word of God, but the tyrannical values of far-right Republicans. Your mind reels with visions of an idyllic Christian home - a beautiful wife draped in her Sunday best, cradling their well-behaved children at the altar. But the images swiftly morph into more carnal fantasies. In your thoughts, you undress a pretty young girl from Bible Study named Clara, her shiny blonde locks cascading over her cherry-pipped lips. Your fingers explore every curve and valley of her voluptuous body, trailing lower to tease her most intimate places. You envision pinning her down on the kitchen table, spreading her trembling thighs wide, and fucking her senseless with the thick rod of your virgin cock. It throbs urgently inside your pants as you recall jerking yourself off to racy tumblr porn, pumping your hard shaft to videos of hot MILFs in skimpy lingerie.
Your dreams are filled with debased lusts that defy reason and morality. The scent of her hair, her skin, it fills your nostrils with each deep breath. In your imagination, you bend Clara over the dinner table, flip up her petite skirt, and plunge deep into her tight teenage holes. The wet squelch of her juices sounds obscenely loud. You grunt and groan as she writhes beneath you, begging to be stretched and stuffed with your uncut manmeat. Her virgin walls clench desperately around the heady intrusion. With Clara's moans echoing through your skull, you rapidly stroke faster and harder.
Your mind swims with vivid memories of standing shoulder to shoulder with your fellow true believers, holding handmade signs bearing the president's name. The smell of beer mingles with the musk of masculine aggression as you cheered his every speech and promise. At every opportunity, you shamelessly ogled the attractive women surrounding you. Their pert breasts and swaying hips stirred something primal deep within you, a hunger to breed, conquer, dominate.
Your eyes roamed greedily over their curves - lingering on the creamy skin above their low-cut dresses. Some caught your leering stares and smirked back invitingly. Oh how you longed to sweep them up in your strong arms and ravage them on the spot, right there in front of your fellow deplorables. To pin them to the ground and claim your manhood's rightful place inside their quivering cunts. But alas, decorum forbade. Still, you couldn't resist grabbing their asses for a good squeeze, chuckling as they squeaked in protest.
Ah Mayor Harlow Binger, the alt-right hero who laid the foundation for Trump's victory! His unshakable commitment to family values and traditional gender roles. You revere him almost religiously, hanging his pictures in your dorm room and scouring the web for quotes to emblazon on your bedposts. Homophobia is more than just a bug in your worldview - it's the defining pillar supporting all other pillars. Anyone who opposes it is simply godless degenerate scum deserving of persecution! This dark fury burns within your heart, a constant rage against the sick, sin-stained liberal lies masquerading as progress.
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aliceintheworld · 3 days
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PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST
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Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader
Summary: "I shouldn't be watching a man undressing, especially not from the house next door."
Warning: more religion 😬 depression, Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi appear. Jungkook in a towel 💦👅 finally a kiss (things from here happen quickly.) ATTENTION, THIS STORY IS NOT SLOWBURN.
A/N: Guys, I took a while this time for reasons of: laziness and discouragement. I wanted more people to read what I write, but I'm introverted even on the Internet, which leaves me with few alternatives to show my writing to the world. Thinking about it, I'm in trouble. Other than that, only a few days have passed, so everything is fine. Back to the story, everything starts to pick up pace. Just to repeat, the fanfic is not slowburn, so there will be smut in the next chapter. Stay tuned.
Previous Chapter
Chapter 3
I spend the whole week riding an emotional rollercoaster. I find myself visiting my neighbor, Mrs. Jeon, more frequently than usual, and with each visit, our friendship blossoms deeper. She shares stories of her youth, of wild adventures and carefree days when she was my age. Her openness encourages me to share my own experiences–or rather, my lack of them. I recount my first disastrous kiss, confess that I've never been in love, and reveal how my once unshakeable faith in the church has wavered since my father's passing. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders; here, I am free to be imperfect, to be vulnerable, without fear of judgment.
Yet, there's one thing I keep to myself: the incident with her son, Jungkook, and the profound effect he has on me. Throughout all my visits, I never see him again. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I casually ask Mrs. Jeon where he is. She tells me that he moved and rented an apartment to avoid being a burden. He only spent the first night at home after his trip, and I remember that night well–from my window, of course–but I don't mention it. Disappointment settles in me like a stone; I long to see him again, but I focus on his mother instead. Having her to confide in is a relief, a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stifling life.
I patiently wait for her to open up about her own struggles, her depression, but she never does. I worry that I might know something I shouldn't, that perhaps she's not comfortable sharing with me. But I promise myself I'll keep her secret safe, no matter what. Today is Sunday, and I won't visit Mrs. Jeon since I'll see her at church. I'm excited–despite my mother making unnecessary comments and disturbing my peace of mind, I'll have someone to rely on.
I smooth down my dark brown dress, fixing my messy hair. I dab a bit of lipstick on my fingertips and press it onto my lips, careful not to overdo it. The truth is, I enjoy makeup, but I've never learned how to apply it properly. I feel embarrassed drawing attention to myself with bolder colors; after all, people are used to my lack of vanity. I sigh, steeling myself as I head downstairs to meet my mother.
She hasn't stopped talking about Jungkook. Unlike me, who had a good first impression, she despises him. She criticizes everything: his eyebrow piercing, his bold style, his tattoos, even the way he carries himself. I can't help but wonder if she accepted the dinner invitation just to analyze him, searching for flaws that exist only in her mind. She's been friends with Misuk since moving to town, and I want to believe–perhaps naively–that my mother doesn't have ulterior motives.
We arrive at church early, the space quiet with only a few members milling about. My mother drifts away to chat with the older congregation, and I find a seat, taking a deep breath. I scan the room for Mrs. Jeon but I don't see her. Since it's still early, I'm not too worried. I take a moment to read the Bible, reflecting on positive thoughts when I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder. I turn, and there he is–Jungkook, smiling brightly. I frown, almost convinced he's a mirage. Am I daydreaming?
"Hi Y/N, are you okay?" he asks softly, his lips brushing almost against my ear. His intense gaze locks with mine, and I'm relieved to be sitting down; my legs feel weak in his presence.
"Everything's fine," I reply, my eyes dropping to my fingers. I want to engage him, ask about his week, inquire how he's been, but the words stick in my throat. It's as though I can't act normally around him. I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to comment, "I didn't know you attended church."
"I don't," he laughs, amusement dancing in his eyes. And rightly so; considering his clothes–a heavy leather jacket, shaved sides, and a wavy fringe–it's sexy but definitely not what you'd expect at church. "I haven't been since I was a kid."
"Really? Why?" I ask, genuinely curious, my gaze drawn to his eyebrow piercing, oddly captivating.
"I didn't feel welcome," he replies simply. There's no bitterness in his voice, and I understand all too well what he means. My mother, for example, was the first to judge him based on his appearance, and I can only imagine how difficult it is to feel at home in a place where you're not embraced.
"I understand," I say, unsure of what else to add. "So, you came here to give it another shot?"
"No way," he chuckles. "Actually, my mom mentioned you two planned to meet at church today."
"That's true," I confirm.
"Unfortunately, she can't make it today. She's not feeling well."
"Is she okay?" My concern surfaces immediately.
"She's fine, don't worry. Just a headache, and she took some medicine. She'll be better soon," he assures me, his hand lightly touching my shoulder. I can't help but notice how warm and gentle his touch is. I shake my head, trying to divert my thoughts from Jungkook's hands to anything else.
"I'm relieved to hear that," I smile, noticing the church is starting to fill up.
"I'm actually inviting some friends over to my apartment, and I wanted to know if you'd like to join us," he says, brushing his fingertips against his ear, a bit shy. I'm taken aback; I didn't expect this invitation. He wants me to come over with his friends?
"And why?" I ask, surprised. It's been a while since we last saw each other, and we haven't talked much even then.
"I like you. I want you to come so we can have fun."
"If this is some kind of payment, or something like that... you really don't need to." I reply, not believing it. I don't have friends, and the thought that he wants to be with me and the people he likes seems absurd to me.
"It's not that. I'm even a bit offended." He jokes, smiling. "I really want you to come, please."
"Jungkook... I don't know."
"I swear they're nice. Every time I'm in Busan, we hang out. They're trustworthy, I promise."
"I can imagine," I reply, still hesitant. I'd have to leave church, skip the service, and ask my mother for permission to go out with him, and of course, she wouldn't allow it. No way. It's not that I don't want to; I desperately want to spend time with him. That's been on my mind all week. "I don't think it's possible; my mom..."
"I know," he interjects, as if he anticipated my response. "But what if, just this once, you say you are going to my mom's? We could say I'm taking you there when in fact, you're coming to my apartment."
"Are you asking me to lie to my mother in a church?" I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. He shrugs, grinning.
"God knows it's just once," he replies confidently, pouting slightly. "What do you say? Later, I can take you to my mom's whenever you want, or you can stay at my apartment since I have more than one room. You set the time and conditions."
"Jungkook..." I groan, covering my face with my hands. The thought of lying to my mother, especially to go to a guy's house, sends a wave of anxiety through me. If she finds out, I'll be in big trouble.
"Come on! It'll be fun. I promise," he pleads softly. I can't say no to him, at least not now. I nod, agreeing to the madness.
"Okay, but you're the one who's going to talk to my mom. And if I say I want to leave, you agree. No alcohol because I know you drive. Those are my conditions," I assert, trying to sound firm. He smiles and salutes me, like a soldier receiving orders, and I slowly get up, taking small steps toward my mother. I let Jungkook lead the way, my nerves creeping back as I prepare to tell a lie in this sacred place.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Eunji. Good afternoon, everyone," he greets my mom and the other church members. My mother looks utterly shocked, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she takes in his appearance.
"Good afternoon, Jungkook," she replies, lacking enthusiasm, her gaze scanning him from head to toe. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to do a favor for my mom," he clarifies, and if I didn't know better, I'd almost believe him. "My mom asked Y/N to keep her company since my dad will be out of town for a few days. I came to pick her up."
"Really?" my mom looks at me, and I don't say anything, just nodding.
"It's true. My dad went to Daegu this weekend, and since my mom hasn't been feeling well, she asked Y/N to spend time with her. If you allow it, of course," he smiles calmly, and I brace myself waiting for my mother's response. I watch her weigh her options, glancing between Jungkook and me for what feels like an eternity before she sighs and nods.
"Alright, that's fine. Is your mom feeling okay?"
"Yes, she's getting better. Can we go now?" he asks, a hint of urgency in his voice.
"Yes, you may go," my mom sighs, placing a hand on her forehead. "It's a shame you're missing the service today, Y/N. Next week, you'll definitely come, okay?"
"Yes, mom, for sure," I agree weakly, clearing my throat and avoiding her gaze, still stunned that she let me go to Jungkook's house. Well, not his house, but is practically the same thing.
"Shall we go, Y/N? My mom is waiting," Jungkook says, raising an eyebrow. I nod, still silent, as we make our way toward the exit.
Some people stare, especially the older members, who seem shocked by Jungkook's appearance–too conservative, in my opinion. Somehow, the situation feels even funnier. Once we're sure no one can see us anymore, I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach. Jungkook chuckles too, exhaling as if he's just finished a tough exam and is finally free.
"Your mom is tough, huh?" he laughs. "I thought she was going to kill me with her eyes."
"Sorry," I say, still giggling a little. "She's like that with everyone."
"Even with you?"
"Even with me," I nod. "What do we do now?"
"Now, we go to my apartment. My friends have the key, so they're probably already there."
"Don't tell me they're all guys," I groan, suddenly anxious. I hadn't considered that he might not have any female friends, and I'd be the only girl at the apartment if that were the case.
"No, relax! I have female friends too. You'll like them," he assures me, walking toward a sleek black car parked across the street. I know nothing about cars, but I can tell this one is expensive. I feel out of place, acutely aware that Jungkook lives in a different world, one that's far removed from my own.
The tension in the car is palpable as we drive. The ride feels like it takes forever, the windows closed, and I'm intoxicated by his scent. I discreetly watch his large hands on the wheel, the way his long fingers tap rhythmically against the leather seat. I have to swallow hard to keep from drooling over him. I'm starving–not for food, but for him. All week, I've yearned to be near him, to touch him. I think I'm suffering from a Jungkook overdose, craving something I haven't even tasted yet.
I ponder whether he's aware of the effect he has on me, but I like to believe he hasn't noticed. It's easier that way. I breathe slowly, attempting to relax in my seat. It takes another ten minutes before Jungkook opens the gate to a condo with a small remote and drives in slowly. His car fits the place perfectly. Everything is stunning and upscale. I glance at my clothes and regret agreeing to come. Why did I say yes? I don't know his friends, and I don't know Jungkook that well, aside from the overwhelming attraction I feel toward him. What do I actually know about him? That he's a tattoo artist from Seoul? That he's rich and hasn't set foot in a church since childhood? I feel like I've walked into a situation that's spiraling out of control.
"Hey, Y/N, are you okay? You went quiet all of a sudden," he asks, concern etched on his face.
"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit strange," I admit.
"Why?"
"I don't know," I confess, omitting my paranoid thoughts. "I always feel like this in new places."
"I get that. I feel that way too," he tells me as we step into the parking elevator. I follow him, digesting this new revelation.
"You seem so confident and social," I comment, genuinely amazed. His big eyes meet mine as the elevator rises, floors passing by in a blur.
"I know, it seems that way. But in reality, I'm quite introverted. I have a small circle of friends and prefer it that way. I just fake it really well," he shares, and I find myself wanting to know more about the person behind the confident exterior.
"Really?" I ask, intrigued.
"Yeah," he nods, his expression earnest.
I try to respond, but the elevator stops on a floor, and Jungkook smiles at me, indicating that this is the right place. I feel one of his hands gently touch my waist, guiding me to a white door. I have to take a deep breath to keep from freaking out, my sweaty, trembling hands hidden in my pocket. I hear different music from the other side of the door before the place fully opens up to us.
"Hey, he's here! Finally, Jungkook!" I hear a male voice. It's a guy around Jungkook's age, I realize as soon as we walk in. His hair is a dark red, and his skin is pale and smooth. It's no surprise that his arms are covered in tattoos, drawings and phrases I can't read so far away. He also watches me closely, smiling warmly.
"Guys, this is YN, the one I told you about," Jungkook introduces me with a smile.
I turn red because there are at least seven people staring at me from head to toe. The apartment is well-kept, with dark wooden furniture. The living room is immaculate, with abstract paintings and photos of Jungkook and his family on the walls. I don't have much time to take everything in as my eyes focus on Jungkook's friends, who are strangers to me so far. Saying they're different from me would be an understatement.
They all have many tattoos and wear dark clothing. I sense an aura of confidence from all of them, but never hostility. It's as if they're very similar to Jungkook, with a completely different exterior from their inner selves. I relax a bit, smiling warmly and putting on my best expression.
"Nice to meet you all," I say, feeling a bit shy. They stand up and smile at me.
"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Yoongi. That's my girlfriend, Minji," says the red-haired guy, pointing to the woman who just smiles. I offer my hand, feeling his cold skin from the beer bottle he was holding earlier.
"I'm Bora, and this is my boyfriend, Jimin," one of the dark-haired women greets me next, pointing to her boyfriend. They're a good-looking couple, the kind you see in magazines. Jimin has the brightest and most open smile.
"Nice to meet you," I nod.
"I'm Taehyung, but you can call me Tae," one of the guys says, taking a sip of his drink.
"I'm Yoori, Tae's girlfriend. Nice to meet you," she winks, making me laugh.
"And I'm Hayun, the only single one in the group," one of the girls shakes my hand, pulling me into a hug. She kisses my cheek, making her presence increasingly noticeable.
"Hayun, you're only single because you want to be, come on," Bora rolls her eyes. Hayun laughs, grabbing a snack from the coffee table.
"I like being single, except when I'm surrounded by couples. Especially couples like you guys."
"Do you have a boyfriend, Y/N?" Jimin asks. Embarrassed, I shake my head.
"No," I reply. They seem surprised, making noises with their mouths.
"But Jungkook is single too, right?" The guy with dark hair says, drinking his beverage. I thinks his name is Tae, if I remember right.
"And I want to keep that way." Jungkook replys.
"Of course you do." Yoongi laughs along with his friends, rolling his eyes. I remain silent, not understanding the joke. Then Yoongi looks at me and seems to notice my confusion. "Y/N, Jungkook never dates. The only time he tried, it went so wrong that now he doesn’t want to do it again."
"It was a disaster." Yoori adds, as if telling a fictional story. Jungkook rolls his eyes, sighing, but his friend continues: "he’s been avoiding relationships like the devil avoids the cross since then."
"Really?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"It’s not true, Y/N." Jungkook smiles at me. "They’re idiots."
"That’s not a lie." Minji, who had been silent until then, clarifies. "He’s been asked out several times, and he always declines. Women go crazy for him, for some reason."
"I know what the reason is." Jimin laughs mischievously, suggesting something while raising an eyebrow. I turn red when they laugh at the joke. Jungkook doesn’t contest it, too busy eating one of the snacks on the table. "But what about you, Y/N? Have you ever dated before?"
"Never." I reply. They don't look surprised this time.
"So you're like Jungkook, who avoids relationships?" Bora asks with a laugh. I feel Jungkook's eyes on me, watching attentively for my response. I shake my head, feeling awkward.
"No, actually, it's just a lack of options," I clarify, deciding to be honest. I hold my hands together nervously.
"Now you have two options," Yoongi suggests with a chuckle. Minji hits his arm trying to stop him, but he continues: "There's Hayun, since she likes to try out a little bit of everything, like some pussy and shit."
"Oh!" I widen my eyes, shocked, as they laugh even more. It's the first time I've seen someone speak so openly like this. Embarrassed, I look at Hayun, but she doesn't seem to mind the comment, laughing with the others.
"Who would be the other option?" Taehyung asks his friend with his trademark grin.
"Our friend Jungkook, obviously," Yoongi clarifies, and I choke on the answer, coughing uncontrollably.
They laugh even more, watching me nearly suffocate from the joke. Jungkook pats my back, smiling widely. His thumb caresses the skin of my arm, waiting for me to calm down. We're so close that he inadvertently wraps one of his arms around my shoulder. I'm shocked and even more unsettled. For me, physical contact beyond my mom is rare. Hugs, affection... I'm just not used to it.
"Are you okay?" he asks amidst his friends' chatter. I nod, staring at my hands. "Sorry about Yoongi; he always makes these kinds of jokes. He doesn't mean any harm."
"It's fine," I assure him, feeling awkward, unable to look into his eyes. "I actually liked everyone."
"Really?" he asks, bringing his nose close to my hair. My whole body shivers as I realize he's smelling my perfume, giving a satisfied smile when he pulls away. "Good to know."
I stay silent, feeling his warm breath near me. Jungkook removes his arm from my shoulder, but his skin still brushes against mine when he takes off his heavy jacket, leaving him in just a T-shirt. His friends are fun and involve me in the conversation, making me feel comfortable, but the truth is that having Jungkook so close drives me crazy and I can't pay much attention. I wonder how long I'll feel this way about him. Will this strong effect never go away? This is the third time we've met, but something tells me that no matter how many times I see him-be it two times or a thousand-my heart will always race whenever he gets close and smiles at me.
I don't even notice the time passing and only realize it's late when Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung offer to take their girlfriends home, along with Hayun, who complains about not having anyone waiting for her at her apartment. Everyone leaves until only Jungkook and I remain. He promised to take me to his mother's house if I wanted, but I'm hesitant to ask as it's quite likely Mrs. Jeon is already asleep by now.
"Y/N, do you want me to get a towel for you?" Jungkook asks, tidying up the living room. I'm confused, picking up some empty soju bottles his friends drank to throw away.
"What do you mean?"
"You're not going to stay here?" he asks, furrowing his brow.
"Not really?" I laugh, then realize I might have been a bit rude, so I rephrase my response. "I mean, I don't think so. I don't want to be a bother."
"It's no bother. If you want, you can take a shower in my bathroom and sleep in the guest room." He offers with a smile. I bite my lower lip, unsure what to decide. I want to stay here, but it's just him and me now; is it really the right thing to do? It doesn't matter, Y/N. Just for one night.
"Okay then. Do you have a toothbrush, please?"
"Of course I do. Come with me, I'll get the stuff for you to use the bathroom." He calls me with a smile and walks down the long hallway. We pass by a few doors until we reach his room. My throat goes dry as my eyes scan the new space. His bed is large and covered with a dark gray blanket. The walls are white and everything is very organized, with a laptop next to the wardrobe and a fluffy black rug on the floor. His scent is everywhere, almost as if I'm breathing him. I clutch my hands together nervously about being alone with Jungkook in such an intimate space. He reappears after going to the closet, holding a white towel and some cotton clothes.
"You can take a shower in my bathroom while I use the guest one," he says, placing the items in my hands.
"Jungkook, that's not necessary..."
"Don't worry. I want you to be comfortable." He says before I can argue. His satisfied smile makes me not deny it again, happy to receive so much care from him. I just nod, agreeing. "The toothbrush is in the cabinet by the sink, in the package. You can open it, okay?"
"Okay, thank you very much." I smile before he walks down the hallway. I head to the door leading to the bathroom and sneak into the new space. I start thinking Jungkook has no flaws.
The place is as clean as the rest of the apartment, which makes me curious; does he clean everything himself, or does he hire someone to keep it tidy? I slowly take off my dress, grabbing my phone to text my mom and let her know I'm okay. I feel bad for lying, but the night was so good that I can't truly regret it. If I had to lie, to meet these same people, I would do it again. Thinking this surprises me, because just a few hours ago, I didn't think this way. The shower has a strong hot jet of water that massages my whole body, and it's so good that I have to convince myself to finish the shower and put on the clothes, trying to be done before Jungkook.
I brush my teeth quickly, smelling my skin that's still male fragrant with the liquid soap. I smile at myself in the mirror, brushing my hair with my fingers, trying to manage the unwashed strands. I open the bathroom door carefully, trying not to make too much noise and disturb the neighbors at this hour, when I see Jungkook again, this time only in a towel. I hold onto the doorframe, barely able to stand. A voice in my head tells me I shouldn't be watching him naked again and that I should turn around, go back into the bathroom, and pretend nothing happened, but I can't. I simply can't anymore. His muscular, wet back is in my field of vision as he searches for clothes. At that moment, my brain turns to mush and I decide to say what's been stuck in my throat.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" I muster the courage to ask him but I regret it immediately. What the hell am I doing? Jungkook turns slowly and the view from the front is a thousand times better than from the back. His whole body glistens in the light of the room, and his tattoos have never been so vivid. His body is muscular, virile and strong. I gonna lose my mind! Feeling new sensations I've never experienced for anyone before.
"Y/N?" He whispers my name with that soft voice he used when we first met. He doesn't seem surprised or embarrassed, which makes me even more unsettled.
"You're doing this on purpose, Jungkook?" I ask again. I have no idea where I got such courage and I don't know how long it will last. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. My whole body is on edge and sweating. I feel my hands trembling as I swallow hard. "You're trying something? I mean... you're not wearing clothes again and..."
"What do you think, Y/N?" he retorts suddenly, with a hoarse, deep voice. His eyes wander from my head to toes, as he raises an eyebrow along with his piercing, with a smirk at the corner of his mouth. My legs turn to weak twigs immediately, ready to collapse.
"I-I don't know." I stammer as he takes one step, then two and three, getting closer and closer to me.
"When I arrived from my trip to Busan, on the first day, I was tired and exhausted," he tells me, taking another step. I start to run out of breath, anxious and aroused. My cheeks flush as he speaks more slowly. "All I wanted was to rest and sleep the whole night, but that night I couldn't, not for an hour. Do you know why?"
"N-no..." I moan softly as his chest presses against mine. His warm, wet skin makes contact with mine, and I no longer know where I begin or end, pressed against his body. His pink lips curl into a wicked smile, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to me and it's all intentional. I shiver as his free hand moves up my wrist and grips the back of my neck firmly, making my eyes focus on his mouth and then his dark, deep eyes.
"A woman, next window, taking off all her damn clothes, completely shameless," he growls, pulling my neck closer to his face and pressing his lips to my ear. My spine tingles as I feel his teeth on my earlobe, in a bite that doesn't hurt but damn, it makes me shiver. My body contracts once and twice, and I know exactly what I'm feeling now: desire. The kind I feel occasionally when I try to touch myself alone and can't reach climax. The feeling I only have when I'm alone and confortable in my bed, trying to use my imagination even with the lack of real experience, but this is real, and it is infinitely better than what my mind could create.
"It was an accident, Jung..." I try to say, but my voice doesn't come out. The tip of his nose travels along a sensitive spot behind my ear, one I didn't even know existed, slowly moving down my jawline, discovering new paths. His hand tightens around my waist, keeping me in place, immobile.
"It may be that you didn't notice, Y/N, but I know you were watching me, even while I was undressing, even when you had every opportunity to stop." He argues with a smile, as someone who knows what they're doing and enjoys seeing the result. "And you know what's worse...? The worst thing is knowing the effect you have on me. From the first time I saw you in my house, with your innocent and curious eyes. I can't get you out of my damn head. Your mouth, your scent..."
"J-Jungkook... please." I beg, closing my eyes tightly. And I know what I want. I want him, since the first time I saw him. Since my eyes met his, I desired him so strongly that I couldn't think straight. He pulls away just a little, and I almost moan in a plea for him not to go. He sighs, pressing his forehead to mine.
"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" he asks in a very soft voice, and I nod because, despite all the things I believe in–God, hell, heaven and even my mother–nothing has ever been as adored as Jungkook. Since I met him, inexplicably, I only think about him, like a spell unable to contemplate of any other answer besides yes. I look at his eyes as they travel to my mouth, and I lower mine to his, exhilarated by that pink that only exists in him.
I move closer, my lips almost touching his, feeling the warmth of his breath. "Just kiss me, please." I murmur scared of what I'm doing; temptation clear in every word. And then he does.
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@ane102 @ttipa @joonwater
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spirits-n-giggles · 2 days
Text
Must.... conclude.... Beetlejuice story.... after.... 2nd.... movie....
Go on this journey with me
(slightly edited for a better flow.)
Picture it:
A few years goes by....
Astrid and Lydia had become inceperable after their Halloween from hell and live together, but she eventually talks about wanting to experience dorm life for her first year of college. Lydia is happy for her daughter but is now afraid of being alone, not entirely sure what might happen with so many dreams that always plagued her sleep since the resurgence of ☆he who shall not be named☆ - and I want them to use that line as much as they used "keepin' it real."
The house on the hill will become internationally known as the notorious "Lydia Deets' Haunted Arthouse", she didn't have a show anymore, but that didn't stop her reputation from growing exponentially after the Halloween fiasco. People wanna buy this property for millions of dollars, but Lydia will be too afraid of whatever might happen to anyone, should they ever meet the demon from her nightmares, so she keeps the house by using some of Delia's fame funds to keep the home in their name - something Delia would HATE lol - but Lydia doesn't wanna actually be in the house.
Betelgeuse is stuck in the underworld, trying to hide from a revived Delores that continues to terrorize the afterlife, only now she is destroying the place. If the Sandworm can't kill Betelgeuse, how tf is it gonna kill Delores? Wolf Jackson is of course on the case, but things are getting out of hand. This makes Betlegeuse a prime target for anyone with a soul that might wanna rat him out. And there are PLENTY who wanna rat him out. Trying to find a way out or a way to kill the broad, he has to get creative as he stays in hiding. And where is the perfect place to hide? In a certain model town in a certain model home.
Rory will be undead and use his winning personality to act like he worships the ground Delores walks on so she doesn't suck out his soul. She will say she wants Betelgeuse and wants to kill Lydia. He is cool with that and says he will help her achive that goal. He will then become her lacky and tell her how pretty and perfect she is to keep the target off his back. He will be terrified of her but this will gradually make her love Rory and this can cause some potential fun for future scenes.
Lydia has nightmares that always involve Betlegeuse, even some can involve them going on wacky cartoon adventures from the show, but they'll be creepy and dark and stop-motion because Burton. She tries therapy, but it will end up being a bust. It's hard finding the right therapist with someone as much truama as her. OH MY GOD HAVE MICHAEL KEATON PLAY THIS CHARACTER!!!!! (Nice little nod to movie 2) It will freak her tf out thinking she's seeing Betlegeuse everywhere!
This will cause her to become a shut-in after getting rich off the royalties of selling her personal story - a melodrama of love and the loss of two parents after a lifetime of hauntings from their psychic daughter. She sells this story to various people who want to write it into something. She will end up reading raving reviews about a live theater production of her story called "Ghost House" or "Scared Sheetless" after a graphic novel that was released or some shit. Supernatural levels of meta. Might as well! :D
After a particular dream that ruffles Lydia awake in her own apartment, (the dream at the end of movie 2 maybe?) something strange will happen to the house on the hill, causing Lydia to go back and figure it out. Astrid will hear of this and not want her mom to be there alone and goes with her to help solve the mystery. Lydia thinks she knows what (or who) it is and doesn't want Astrid to come along, but she does anyway.
Hiding there in the model, Betelgeuse will see that she and her daughter have returned, thinking she's finally come to her senses and come back to him lol. Betelgeuse gets desperate for Lydia's attention in the best way he knows how - dreams. They've got a psychic connection, and he's done it plenty of times, but now it's for business as well as pleasure.
It would be some kind of earthquake that shakes the hill. Being careful and walking around whatever damage was mysteriously done, some locals say its another haunting and they want to tear the large house down and make something new. Aatrid can hear these comments and relay them to her mom. This will start making Lydia curious about the history of the hill this house was built on, especially since it's so close to the graveyard (the same place Betlegeuse was buried in the model in movie 1)
So she goes on a hunt in the small town, expands it a little, maybe even find the Mainlands old shop? This can parallel with expanding the afterlife while Betlegeuse is trying to find allies. Betelgeuse tries to round up anyone he knows that he can trust - literally anyone from the past - gotta bring Catherine O'Hara and Gena Davis back, right? Stop motion her in as a ripple in dimensional shifts or something and just use her voice. Richard would help as a thanks for helping his kid in the past, and I KNOW we can get Bob back if we tried.
Lydia can end up learning about some of Betlegeuse's history - finds a picture of an eerily familiar couple - but all this place knows is that they were just two of the MANY that were tossed in mass graves on this land centuries back but they don't know details other than they came from Italy. She will make it a mission to go to their original resting place to try to get more info. She's rich. She can do that. (Their love story was in Italy, right?)
Getting to Italy, Lydia learns the urban legend of a murder suicide of some nutorious bad couple who was known for terrorizing the nights in their hellrsising escepades, but after they were dead and buried, the two lovers corpses, along with many other discarded corpses of dead evil people, were moved out of their original land and brought to a new land to be buried there - getting rid of unwanted individuals so they could bring in the industrial revolution. There will be several names, but two will stand out along with a picture -- Delores and another name that's crossed out. Make it Lawrence, lol. Isn't that Betlegeuse's name in the cartoon?
"Betlegeuse?" Lydia whispers.
“Mom!”
“S-sorry."
Astrid tags along with her mother, happy to travel and hunt creepy shit again. Her dad would be proud. This time she won't meet a boy but maybe a girl who was also doing her own research for school. Jeremy was technically her first experience with a boy, and it's possible to stray away from reminders of bad experiences and kids experiment at this age anyway. It will be a cute goth girl who is a fan of Lydia's old show and is one of the first girls Astrid's age to ever actually be nice to her. A nice connection. This could also be a ploy to pull Lydia back into BJs world again, too - yay twists! She can maybe be an illegal ghost girl looking for help from Lydia because she thinks the paranormal human can help everyone in the afterlife.
Underworld is in chaos, and here is a rift between worlds after so many souls had been taken from the afterlife. There's no more order, reality is breaking, and the only way to get everything back in order is to destroy the soul sucker and release the souls she has absorbed. The more she absorbs, the more power she gets.
They get home, and another shift happens between worlds, and with so much death in the afterlife, it's causing serious problems in the real world and Astrid has an idea to maybe call someone for help. Lydia shuts it down, but more rifts and earthquakes happen. She will have another dream of him trying to get her to call his name. And maybe she can awaken in a living nightmare caused by the rift between worlds, and they are both almost killed (by a sandworm, why tf not!!!) before calling Betlegeuse for help.
Get real 'out there' and put those practical affects to good use and let the shenegins begin! As much as I love watching Betelgeuse try to marry Lydia, there is no attempt at marriage this time. There's too much to do. "I just saved your life, now you can help me save mine and finally kill that soul sucking witch for good.”
“No games. No tricks.” Lydia warns.
“I'm not the trickster in this relationship babe,” he wickedly grins, “but we can get back to that after we save our asses. You're coming with me.” Have him turn into a tour guide as he shows off different aspects of the afterlife thays falling apart before the three of them eventually have to run from people who have allied themselves with Delores to find Betelgeuse.
Imagine the reunion of seeing Rory with Delores. Imagine crazy shit that can magically appear to help end the story. Hell, have the goth girl Astrid meets to come back and redeem herself at the end. I dunno. She can appear and admit to being Delores daughter (before meeting Betelgeuse) and thats why she was at the same place Lydia and Astrid went in Italy to find answers- she was too.
This relationship can parallel Lydia and Astrid's positive one- have Delores sacrifice her daughter to start her sacrificial rite for power, and her daughter never forgive her (I swear I am just pulling this out of my ass) have the girl hold vengence for her mom and she can give Lydia the dagger that her mother Delores killed her with that still has the young girl's cursed blood on it. She says to use it to kill Delores, but Betelgeuse is the only one strong enough who can get close enough to do it.
With so much chaos and so many souls taken, anything can happen in the underworld, and chaos ensues. Maybe even break in to see glimpses of the afterlife, perhaps they see a glimpse of hell and see how Jeremy is being tortured (it will be a silly Tim Burton way). They can see part of the great beyond maybe wave at Delia (and the back of Charls’ head) too?
They finally meet Delores and she will say she is over Betelgeuse, happy with her new pet Rory. It's a shock for Lydia to see Rory there but isn't surprised to see him so desperate to fawn after Delores. Satisfied with the new power she’s gained, Delores prefers to keep Betelgeuse alive to torture him.
Lydia will give Betelgeuse the dagger so he can pop her like a bubble and all the souls she's consumed will escape and go back to their soul holders. But why waste energy killing Betelgeuse when Delores can just use him? She is able to levitate him up but Lydia, Astrid, and the goth girl work together to pull him back down. - this is where the goth girl can suddenly enter for the final fight!
Seeing her daughter makes her angry, and seeing her help her foes pisses her off. Delores grows in size to show her strength, and ordering Rory to take care of those little girls. Little goth girl and Astrid go after Rory and Lydia will get a plan -
"Oh... you're not into him anymore, huh? So... you wouldn't care if I did this?" And Lydia pulls that fucker in to kiss him. (This feels very Phantom of the Opera coded.....) Just a peck is enough for Delores to RAGE and she goes full attack mode. She goes after Lydia and Beletgeuse steps in front of her and kills Delores with whatever magical shit her dead vengeful goth daughter supplied, lol. (And I'm talking full jack sparrow stabbing the kraken slow mode scene) Epic as shit!!! Delores daughter will then rest in peace.
Astrid will then ask herself, “Now why the hell can't I connect with humans like I can with ghosts?”
“Family trait, unfortunately.” Lydia says feeling Beletgeuse's breath literally go down her neck with his close proximity. "At least they didn't try to suck you into marrying them."
End it with Lydia being recruited by Wolf Jackson to find those who have been lost in the real world or something. Make it to where she and Betelgeuse have to work together to keep the plane between the living and the dead closed with her as the keeper of the house.
Have the house be the main character in the end!!!!
Betelgeuse will turn to Lydia and say, "So, you're not the marrying type, eh? I'm fine with that-" He'll try to pull her in for another kiss, but she'll push him away.
"Nooo! No-" He lets her shove him to the floor, "I just knew something like that would save your ass. That's what you asked for right? Now we’re even." He quickly jumps back up. "I know jealousy when I see it.”
"You sure do." he inches closer to her, but she crosses her arms looking away, seemingly uninterested.
"Betelgeuse...”
"I can wait, honey. I know you want me." He flexes as he slowly walks away with pride. "No one can resist ‘the juice’ once they've had a taste." He winks.
Astrid groans for her mother, but Lydia just looks to him like she always does.
"Betelgeuse..."
"You will be the one to kiss me again, babes." He holds his arms out in his iconic way. "I got all the time in the world." He thinks this is the end.
"Betelgeuse."
Hmmm.... he doesn't disappear?
But he does give a wicked smile.
Turns out when killing the spirit of the soul sucking witch, the souls did escape, but her power had to be absorbed by someone, and Betelgeuse didn't... really... need.... help with obtaining more power, did he?
Would he be like demi-god state now? Why the hell not? Give me an Astarion evil ending kind of transformation. Give me love and deepspace realness. (google those). Go the whole nine and make him HOT AND SCARY in the end. Michael Keaton is attractive. It's doable! Antihero status! Make it wild! Demigod!!!!
Imagine THAT being interested in you, Lydia. I don't think you'd say no.
End it with his new form levitating and him saying that that iconic voice and green glowing eyes. "It's Showtime."
Throw in a musical number somewhere, a little justice for Bob and you have a lovely story.
There. Done.
I don't think a 3rd will be made, and if there is one, I don't think it would be this ^ stupid! Lol
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yandere-paramour · 2 days
Note
How would the other yans react if reader thought he was cheating? (That assumed cheating ask with Asteria and Jamie got me thinking) like maybe they have to spend more time away from darling and darling sees someone else intentionally get close to their significant other but is unsure how to react other than getting jealous? And maybe jealous sex where they are doming their yan what who said that?
Atalanta is somewhat amused, but also apologetic. When you storm middle of the day into her office, Noelle trying to placate you and herd you out, Atalanta dismisses Noelle and slowly works to extract the story out of you. She bites back a smile when you talk about your suspicions, and she will gently kiss your forehead and explain what she's been doing (not cheating). She's been working late to land the big account, not cheat on you. You know her view of monogamy is absolute, Darling girl. While she does not appreciate you barreling into her office in anger, she is so glad to see you. For the rest of the day, she whisks you off on an adventure to reaffirm her love for you. You both have lunch at the most expensive restaurant in town, go on a shopping spree, and she pre-reserves the Ferris wheel for you both to ride, knowing you think it's romantic. Feel free to challenge her speed skills because she can have you moaning and squirming on the way up, and fully satisfied on the way down.
Noelle's been spending a lot of time at work lately. Usually, Atalanta likes to wrap it up and let her go by 5, but not for the past month. You've been getting suspicious, especially when you texted Ata's Darling and she said Atalanta has been coming home early. When she finally comes home late that night, you are so angry you can't even think. You explode at her, and you think you see her legendary composure crack for a second because she's watching you with wide eyes. By the time you're done, you're sobbing in your pajamas, upset that the person you centered your life around has finally abandoned you. In a rare moment of vulnerability, Noelle herds you toward the couch, gets you a drink of water, and wipes the snot off your face. She explains that she's been working on a project and she doesn't mean to be away so long. She holds you against her small chest as best she can, and coos to you like you're a baby. The rest of the night is spent spoiling you, reaffirming her love for you, and in an unprecedented action, she asks Ata for a day off so she can tend to you.
Vivien is so, so, so, so sorry. When the new boy got hired at the shop, Vivien had to work a little harder to train him and he ended up spending a lot more time with him and a lot less time with you. You're starting to grow suspicious. You know Vivien is bisexual, and you saw that boy when you brought Vivien his lunch, you know he's handsome. When Vivien comes home later than normal and you catch him telling a story about the boy, you snap at him with some bite in your voice. No one can ever say Vivien is stupid, he understands exactly what you're trying to insinuate. He immediately unlocks his phone and hands it over, begging you to look at it. There's nothing there and everything seems perfectly innocent. He swears up and down that the only thing that's happening is legit floral training and he is so sorry for making you think otherwise. Vivien spends the next month trying to make things up to you by baking, bringing home bouquets, and generally loving you as best he can. He also (remember he is the manager) gets the boy's hours changed so Vivien isn't near him, anything to ease your mind.
And trust me, the jealous sex ask is coming.
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madelynraemunson · 16 hours
Text
HEY MADDY, WHAT’S ON TV? 📺
𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 (…𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬) part 1/2
🥡 steddie x freaky friday fanfiction • RATED: NC-17 🥡
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SUMMARY: Dustin’s science experiment goes horribly wrong and his two ‘bickering besties’ have to suffer the consequences.
WORD COUNT: 11.4k words
CONTENTS CONTAIN: (EASTER) EGGS, WHEAT, METAL, PARALLELISMS, A PINCH OF COMEDY, ANGST, AND LOTS OF SWEARING
ALLERGENS: CHEESY, CORN(Y), SHELLFISH (sorry eddie)
author's note: might put this on ao3 idk this one's a big boi.... hey y'all! i’m a little late to the steddie body swap train, but have arrived nonetheless! also i’m so stoked that jamie lee curtis and lindsay lohan are currently working on a freaky friday 2!! one of my fave childhood movies and i can’t believe we’re getting a parte dos :,) also, jake alan = corroded coffin in this AU
🥠
“Jesus Chr— what did you do to my hair?!”
“What did you do to MINE?!”
Perhaps a rewind is necessary. Metaphorically, of course. Time travel’s not real! ;)
      ◄ ◄ ◄  R E W I N D  🎞️
The year is 1989. Camp Knowhere. And since it’s the last year before he ages out of summer camp, Dustin Henderson is determined to 'WOW' everyone with his newest invention.
“They’re kinda like boner pills.”
“Oh...! WOW...?”
It’s not the weirdest thing Steve's heard come out of Dustin's mouth. In fact, he's practically immune to insanity at this point, having been surrounded by hormone-driven teenagers for a month and a half straight.
“Look I know, it sounds crazy,” Dustin pleads. “But imagine being able to walk a mile in someone's shoes just by eating a cookie. They'd be like the Viagras of empathy!"
Again, not the weirdest thing Dustin has said. 
And for as long as Curly keeps hanging out with Eddie Munson, his Other Older Male Friend (O.O.M.F.) constantly like he has been all summer, it certainly won’t be the last.
Being a volunteer camp counselor hasn’t panned out as expected for Steve Harrington. 
For the past six weeks, Dustin has spent most of his time locked in his cabin trying to perfect his new creation. But he's been MIA for so long, Steve hasn’t been able to teach him how to start a fire, pitch a tent, or even pick Dustin's brain about being his guest for Show and Tell. 
Making s’mores. Canoeing. Telling scary stories in the dark. Dustin and Steve are missing out on actual summer activities. The real reason he signed up to be counselor in the first place. 
But you know who has been able to spend time with Dustin?
"Eddie and I spent almost every night trying to come up with good fortunes," Henderson boasts.
Not the counselor, but the Certified Loiterer.
Steve bitterly kisses his teeth. “That’s awesome, man! But hey, speaking of spending—"
"They are so clever too. You gotta hear 'em!"
"I'm sure they are! But now that you're practically finished, I was sorta hoping—"
“AND,” Dustin adds. “if you get a good one you can add ‘in bed’ after for some comic relief.”
Steve crosses his arms as he finds himself fading back into silence.
“You are destined for great adventures…in bed,” Curly smirks, waving a fortune in Steve’s face. “You will be met with great luck this week... in bed. You are a pleasure to have around…in bed.”
“Agh, please tell me one of Harrington’s lays said that,” comes a voice. “Otherwise this interaction is very concerning.”
Dustin gasps. “EDDIE!”
Speaking of The Devil.
Like nails on a chalkboard, in walks Eddie Munson with his fucked up voice, fucked up rep, fucked up hair, and a fucked up sense of humor to match.
“Hey, Henderson,” Eddie gives a curt nod. “Hey, Steve.”
“Munson.”
“I was just telling Steve about my fortune cookies,” says Dustin. “I can’t wait to win people’s hearts over at Show and Tell, along with my spotlight secret weapon.”
“What’s your spotlight secret weapon?” Steve inquires.
“You’re looking at him,” Eddie quips. “I’m Dustin’s music act for his Show and Tell.”
There’s a pang in Steve’s heart that he wishes wasn’t there. All summer, the Retired Cub Scout had been secretly hoping that Dustin would ask him to be his Show and Tell buddy. He had so many survival skills up his sleeve that he wanted the little twerps to know before they age out. 
But the stars had other plans, he supposes.
“My friend’s friend’s dad is a music scout for Cardinal Records,” Dustin explains. “If he shows up and sees Eddie play, Corroded Coffin may have a chance!”
“Yup,” Eddie nods. “We’re performing our new song Take Me Away.”
He hands Steve a piece of crinkled paper from his back pocket, to which Steve reads after clearing the lump marinating in his throat.
“Don’t wanna grow up, I wanna get out. Hey, take me away,” Steve reads.
“Aren’t the lyrics so metal?!” Dustin beams in admiration.
“They’re uh, very edgy…” Steve shrugs.
“And incredibly fitting, when you consider the circumstances. Just wait ‘til you hear Eddie and his band perform it!”
“I think I’ll be busy with camp duties...” Steve grimaces, handing the sheet back over to Eddie. “Sorry.”
“No worries, they will just perform in your garage. They still gotta practice. Been needing another place to do so too."
Steve's eyes widen.
“What?!” he shakes his head. “Absolutely not. When did we agree on this?”
“Uh, beginning of summer?" Dustin points out. "You said you’d be willing to accommodate any of my needs. Especially since my mom’s gone to her spicy book retreat and basically threw away keys to the house.”
Steve now recalls telling Dustin that. But nowhere did it say babysitting his replacement would be in the cards.
"I'm sorry Harrington, I know I'm kinda butting in…" Eddie acknowledges.
Finally, something he and Steve can agree on.
"But we're kinda desperate at the moment, so it would mean the world. You won't even know we're there."
“It’s still no!” Harrington blubbers. “Okay? With the loud music and Eddie’s screaming, I’ll have the Loch Nora book club moms with pitchforks at my door. We have a reputation to uphold.”
“Who’s to say the Loch Nora moms don’t want in on all the angsty fun?” Eddie smirks. “Corroded Coffin’s an acquired taste, but I’m sure your… progressive… neighborhood wouldn’t mind.”
"It's not that," Steve shakes his head. "Even though we’re ‘progressive’, my neighborhood is still very much suburban-families-with-young-kids. They'd call the cops on us, for sure."
But Loch Nora was just a decoy for Steve’s true feelings. If everyone sees how cool Eddie is, they’re going to make him their Comfort Grown Up. Then where would Steve go?
Especially if they caught a glimpse of those big, brown eyes and the way they glisten in the amber sunset. And apparently Dustin’s caught wind of this Munson Magic as well; because not too long after, he’s imitating Eddie, the coercion-via-cuteness factor ramping higher on his part. And how could Steve say no to his lil face?
“Just this one time, Steve?” Dustin begs. “Please, please, pleaaase?”
“Dustin…” Steve shakes his head. 
“Pleaaase,” a pouty Eddie chimes in, slyly gazing up at Steve through his long, batty lashes. “We’ll behave, Stevie. We promise.”
But Harrington is standing his ground. Eddie already stole his best friend away from him. His gig. His spot at the Cool Adults table. Did he want Harrington’s life too?
“NO!” Steve insists. "NO!"
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“YEAAAH!” Eddie croaks into the microphone while he seductively strums at his guitar. “YEEEEAAAHHHH!”
Performing in Steve’s garage was a YES-go after all. Especially if free bud has anything to do with it.
"This dude and his band are pretty good," Argyle comments as he takes a long, savoring drag from his hefty blunt. "Corroded Coffin, man. They're gonna be big one day."
"Just wait til you hear his guitar solo," Jonathan adds. "Eddie's been working on it all summer for Dustin’s show.”
The walls of the Harrington household are forced to withstand a migraine-inducing bass while everyone — but Steve —  jams out, losing themselves in a song about wanting to stay young forever.
“Don’t wanna grow up, I want to get out. Hey! Take me away…”
Jealousy festers within the host as he watches, taking in the sight of an awestruck Dustin playing his air guitar alongside Eddie, resonating with the lyrics the way he passionately yells,
“I wanna shout out, ‘take me away…away away away’…”
“Someone take me away,” Harrington’s inner monologue spews.
But it’s not that Steve hates the song, nor is he having a miserable time with everybody. It’s not that he hates Eddie or his stupid raspy voice, or the way he makes the guitar sing with every calculated twiddle of his fingers and every provocative buckling of his knees. In fact, it’s the opposite. Steve just didn’t want to admit that Dustin’s O.O.M.F. — and the other members of Corroded Coffin — were actually… pretty cool. 
And judging by the fact that Eddie was most likely Dustin’s first choice for the talent show, there was a cornier, more ominous second thing that Steve isn’t willing to admit: it’s that the exclusion really hurts him.
“Same old SHIT,” Eddie sings. “Never ends.”
“WHOA!” Harrington exclaims, waving his disapproving hands in the air.
The band stops the song immediately, the negative feedback from the amp plaguing the air while they stare around in confusion.
“What?” Eddie demands.
Any chance there was for Steve to try to humble 'The Freak', he took. And clearly this time around, there was no hesitation.
“You’re not really gonna say the S word when you perform at Show and Tell, are you?”
“The S word?” Munson retorts. “What, is this preschool?”
Ba-dum-tss! goes the drummer.
"Gareth," Eddie scowls.
Gareth Emerson digresses with a sheepish shrug.
“No," Steve shakes his head. "But it’s still a summer camp for kids.”
Eddie chuckles at this. “Come on, Harrington. Don’t act like YOU weren’t cussing up a storm at their age. The kids are all in their rebellious phase anyways. They’re gonna love it.”
Eddie’s known Steve since elementary school. This is the same guy who held swear contests, who cussed because he thought it made him look ‘mature’. The same guy that used to call women “bitches”. The same guy who almost got suspended because he and Tommy H. were yelling out slurs during an assembly, but luckily his superintendent mom was there to pull some strings to simmer it down to one afternoon of detention.
Harrington couldn’t possibly choose now to care about profanities.
“I’d rather you not bend the rules of Camp Knowhere.”
Bend the rules?!
It doesn’t take too long for Eddie to figure out that the issue goes beyond Camp Knowhere. In fact, both of Dustin’s O.O.M.F.s know that. 
 “Why the sudden change of character, Harrington?” Eddie crosses his arms. “Huh? After all these years?”
"All these years, what do you mean all these years?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
Captivated, nosy eyes bounce back and forth between the two as they argue... on and on and on and on.
“This happens every time,” Jonathan hisses to Robin at a low whisper so that they don’t hear. “Do you think they ever get tired of it?”
"I actually don't know what you mean," Steve counters. "And quite frankly, I feel like you don't seem to really know me at all."
“Hey, I’m just following your lead,” Eddie shrugs. “You never took time to get to know ME when we were in school. Unless I had something you and your friends wanted of course.”
“So all of this is MY fault?”
“I never said it was.”
It’s almost ritualistic at this point, the arguing. 
Just then, Gareth starts up again, issuing a theatrical drumroll to ease the tension. It only seems to make it worse, judging by how Eddie and Steve hiss at him immediately.
“GARETH!” “EMERSON!” 
The drummer refrains once more. 
Steve is quick to pick up where they left off. “I can read between the lines.”
“Crazy thing to say for someone who’s paid people to write his book reports.”  
“I’m just…looking out for everyone, okay?” Steve snaps, reverting the conversation back to the kids. “The children might not care, but it may look bad on the counselors. And I like my summer gig, spending time with my best friend. I don’t wanna jeopardize it.”
A self-serving response. Eddie knew to not put it past Harrington.
Regardless, Eddie chooses to comply. Not to give Steve what he wants, but because Dustin's happiness is on the line. And if his best friend is happy and Corroded Coffin gets a record deal, then Eddie wouldn’t have to deal with Steve Harrington or Hawkins much longer. 
The band starts up again and, this time, remains uninterrupted. 
Meanwhile, Steve sulks back in his seat, unable to pinpoint why he felt like the issue wasn’t resolved. But he soon realizes that for as long as Eddie Munson is part of the equation, the problem will remain a constant.
“Same old stuff,” Eddie bitterly corrects himself. “Never ends.”
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“Fortune cookie, anyone?”
Two hours feel like days when everyone is stoned. And given that everyone’s too tired (and high) to drive themselves home, a sleepover at Steve’s quickly becomes inevitable. 
“Did we get the same fortune?” Jonathan asks Argyle.
“No, we didn’t,” he shakes his head. “Guess we’re not feeling sorry for each other tonight.”
Dustin chuckles.
“What are we feeling tonight? I’m thinking pizza.”
Leaving everyone else to decide on munchies, Steve and Eddie appoint themselves as the Designated Clean-Up Crew, searching for and rounding up any trash they see laying around.
“So, what are you up to nowadays?” Steve questions. “Since we graduated high school.”
“Oh, same old, same old,” Eddie offers a tense chuckle. “Still in The Biz, but the money’s good. Thankfully this time I’m doing it without my pops around.”
It strikes a nerve in Steve. He’d give anything to have his dad around. 
He also wouldn’t be proud to be in the same position as he was in high school. Didn’t Eddie want to grow as a person?
“That’s amaziiing.” Steve lies.
Uncomfortable now, Eddie clears his throat, shifting his attention back to Steve so that he can eat his own words.
“What about you? What’s The Hair been up to?”
“I work at Family Video and then help out at camp right after.”
“Try bringing that to the career fair,” Eddie scoffs jokingly.
“Sorry?”
“I said great gig you got there,” Munson perjures.
Their gazes meet for a brief, charged moment before quickly averting. 
Eddie watches Steve with both curiosity and disdain. 
This is who his best buddy is seeing on the side? It’s hard for Eddie to think of anything Dustin and Steve could possibly have in common. What would they even talk about? Maybe the new Brook Shields movie, hair gel, and their favorite ice cream flavors, but that’s just about it. And Steve Harrington doesn’t seem like the best influence for Dustin anyways.
Steve’s eyes flicker towards Eddie, trying to hide his scrutiny behind a thinly veiled expression of disinterest. 
He notes the way Eddie’s band tee has seen better days, the sleeves ripped and the print faded, and the way he absolutely reeks of Mary Jane and indistinct rubber from a Spirit Halloween store. If Dustin brought Eddie home to Mrs. Henderson, she’d probably stroke out. 
Just then, a very intoxicated Robin chimes in.
“Duuude, Eddie. It’d be awesome if Coffin got this gig.”
“Oh, I know right?” Eddie lights up immediately. “We’d be out of this rugged town once and for all and living life in the big city.”
The distaste for Eddie only amplifies with that statement. 
All of Steve’s life, he’s had nothing but good experiences in Hawkins. To have a “rough” upbringing, you had to be looking for trouble. Which is something Eddie and his father, Al seemed to have been doing since the beginning of time. 
“What’s so rugged about Hawkins?” Steve challenges Eddie.
“Wouldn’t you like to know…” Eddie mutters.
“I would, actually,” Steve taps his feet impatiently. “Go on, tell the class, Eddie. What is so rough-and-tough about this part of town?”
Eddie knows Steve is trying to set him up. He thinks for a moment, carefully crafting his words before speaking.
“There’s just…” Eddie says with trepidation. “A lack of equal opportunity to succeed. Always has been. But in the city, opportunity is everywhere. For everyone. Indy would be a perfect, clean slate for us.”
It’s like a sock to the face. 
Lack of opportunity? Eddie is most definitely looking for problems now. If he wouldn’t consider Steve being nice enough to lend him his garage — even when he didn’t like him — an ‘opportunity’ to succeed, then what would he consider?
“I mean, sure. Hawkins has issues like any other city, but I think there are equal opportunities for everyone,” Harrington protests. 
“Very rich coming from you, Suburbia.”
“Uh oh,” Dustin mutters.
Now Steve is pissed. 
Does Munson think that just because Steve lives in a nice house he’s never had problems in his life? With that logic, Eddie isn’t going to get himself very far. It’s very evident now, given where he currently is.
“Why can’t you accept the fact that life comes for others too?!” Steve spits. “Life is also hard for me, you know!”
“Guys…” Dustin starts.
A bitter laugh expels from the pit of Eddie’s stomach.
“Life is hard for you?!” Eddie exclaims. “It’s hard for you? How can life be that hard? Hey, I’m Steve Harrington. My life consists of Daddy’s money, wearing hair pomade to the ceiling and getting rejected by girls!”
“Hey, why don’t we play that one song again!” Jonathan suggests. “You know the take me away, away, away, away, away!”
But Steve and Eddie are way too locked in, committed to tearing each other to bits because the other one started it. Eddie wanted to play that game huh?
“Well all YOU know is complaining about the consequences of your own actions!” Steve spews in return. “Oh look, I’m Eddie Munson, I’m painfully self-unaware, I’m inconsiderate of everyone around me, and I commit petty crimes then wonder why the cops hate me. AND I still live with my uncle – AT MY BIG AGE.”
“YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS, HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT?”
“AND! You’re as loud as your guitar. NEW-NEW-NEW-NEWWW. How about you evaluate your priorities if you want a good life, Munson? And make sure you at least have some ammo under your belt before coming for me.”
“Wow,” Eddie laughs. “I don’t know anyone more tone deaf. You think my walk of life was a choice?! Not everyone was handed everything on a silver platter, Steve. Not everyone’s lives are perfect like yours!”
“Sweethearts, anybody?!” Robin butts in, desperately waving the candies in the air. “You are what you eat, and everyone in this room is VERY, VERY SWEET!”
But the boys are only getting started. If this is Robin’s version of sweet, she was about to know what sour is real quick.
“You think my life is perfect?! At least you have a father figure.”
“I want you to assess the room we’re in, Harrington,” Eddie implores. “Family must love you a lot if they’re letting you throw parties and use drugs that a loser like me was nice enough to hook you up with.”
“Leave what I do outside of camp out of this! You know, as a counselor I’m not sure I like my kids hanging out with some loitering criminal all the damn time.”
“Not sure I like them hanging out with someone who acts like an overbearing, insufferable parent.”
“At least I have parents.”
Simultaneous gasps fill the room. 
The color drains from Steve’s face when he realizes the damage he’s done. He watches as Eddie seemingly deflates, shrinking himself down at the shoulders, and then sulking in place. A blank stare overcasts his eyes, lips desperately trying not to quiver while in front of an involuntary audience. 
“That was not cool,” Steve breathes. “I’m sorry.”
But Eddie is past the point of forgiveness. And caring. Steve’s already embarrassed the fuck out of him, so what’s Dignity at this point? Steve won. Whatever game he was playing.
“You’re right, Steve,” Eddie nods, bitterly. “You have everything I want. So why can’t you just give me this one thing?”
Steve really fucked up this time. He doesn’t even know why he even said that. It isn’t necessarily a brag that Steve has parents if they aren’t active in his life. Did he really want the last word so badly, he willingly let his anger steer the direction of the conversation? Sure, Eddie has backed off now, but the thick veil of suppressed tears did not make it worth it.
“Here,” Eddie quips as he chucks Dustin’s invention at Steve’s chest. “You win. You want a cookie for it?”
Before leaving the room, Eddie helps himself to one as well. Steve watches ashamed as Eddie storms away, not seeming to care who he bumps into on his way out. With the intention to make amends, Steve darts after Eddie, following him to the bathroom only to have the door slammed in his face.
“Eddie!” Steve knocks. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I thought I’d gotten over my anger issues and pettiness, so I don’t know why I said all that. It’s something I need to work on, for sure.”
No response. Steve tries again.
“You guys sound really good…” he musters. “I wish I had the courage to put myself out there like that.”
Steve gently taps the door with two fingers now. 
“Eddie?”
On the other side of the wall, Eddie is angrily wiping away his tears, upset at himself for letting someone who wears women’s hairspray and Tiger Beat cologne get under his skin. 
Giving up now, Steve sighs to himself and turns around to prop his back against the door. And in case Eddie decides to come back out, Steve decides to wait a while longer, reading the fortune from his fortune cookie in the meantime. 
“A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another’s eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.”
“What could that possibly mean?” Steve thinks to himself as he takes a bite from the cookie. 
And at the same time on the other side, Eddie also cracks open his cookie. A nice little dessert with some kind words are sure to make him feel better. He reads his fortune.
“A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another’s eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.”
“…in bed,” he adds with a chuckle.
Just then the ground begins to rumble. 
The sudden JOLT causes Eddie to drop his cookie and latch onto the sink for stability. Meanwhile, Former Cub Scout Steve who knows everything about Stop-Drop-and-Roll dives for the nearest piece of furniture, crawling underneath to protect himself from any debris that may fall onto him.
“EVERYONE GET DOWN!”
“JESUS CHRIST!” Eddie yells.
Hawkins doesn’t get many earthquakes. But according to the news, Roane County was due for a big one. This could well be it. 
But as fast as the earthquake happens, it fades away. And next thing Eddie knows, he’s taking deep breaths, gathering his composure before he swings open that door. 
“Shit — Harrington, are you okay?”
Steve scans the room, looking around for any debris that may block his plight towards safety. 
“Yeah I’m fine, thanks Munson,” Steve gulps. He allows Eddie’s firm hand to hoist him up. “Just a bit shaken up. Are you okay?”
Eddie nods his head rapidly. “I’m fine too,” he insists. “I’m just worried about everyone else.”
Running back over to the garage now, a frantic Steve and Eddie call out to their friends to make sure they’re okay. But when they arrive, they’re shocked to see everyone conversing, laughing, and ordering pizza, almost as if nothing had ever happened.
Steve coughs to make his presence known. “Did you guys feel that?”
Everyone turns to them.
“Feel what?” Dustin inquires.
“There was an earthquake.”
“No, there wasn’t?” Robin cocks an eyebrow.
“Yes there was!” Eddie insists in agreement with Steve.
“Are you sure?” “An earthquake?”
“There wasn’t an earthquake.”
“What earthquake?”
“A chicken bake?” Argyle questions, clearly high as shit.
“An earthquake,” Jonathan repeats for him.
“An Earth Cake?!”
“QUAKE!” Jonathan hollers. “EARTHQUAKE!”
“EARTHQUAKE?!” the startled stoner yelps.
“No no no!” everyone yells out, doing their best to contain Argyle’s panic. “No, no, no!”
———
“You’re an asshole, Steve Harrington. I wish I could hate you.”
Eddie winces as his neck partially kinks, due to the fact that Steve was too short-fused to get him a pillow for tonight.
At least the futon is comfortable. After flopping around like a fish out of water for a few minutes, Eddie finally feels completely relaxed. And as he flips through his mental catalog of Dream Scenarios, the aspiring rockstar begins to drift off to Dreamland, envisioning his guitar solo and jamming out with his favorite herd of sheep.
Meanwhile upstairs, Steve is too emotionally uncomfortable to hit the hay.
“Get a grip, Munson,” Steve grumbles, angry at the thought of the freeloader below him. “If you stopped thinking the world is out to get you, maybe you’d actually see some progress in your life.”
After one last fluffing of his pillow, Steve reaches into his drawer and pops a gummy into his mouth, bracing himself for more Camp Knowhere shenanigans that lie ahead and having to deal with the Freakazoid-With-a-Victim-Complex in the morning. 
12:00 MIDNIGHT
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*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ [insert creepy, grandfather clock noises here]
8:00 AM
Obnoxious, fluffy duvet covers stir Eddie awake.
Maybe Steve did come with some goodies after all.
Munson begins to execute his morning routine: a gangly-limbed stretch followed by an exaggerated bellow and blissful smacking of his lips.
BONK.
A lamp on the nightstand interrupts his ritual. It is then that Eddie realizes.
He’s in a bedroom. 
“What the—” Munson mutters.
Sitting up slowly now, Eddie takes a moment to assess the room around him.
Trophies and medals. Cologne and hair gel. A work desk with a basketball net over it, and a Tommy Hilfiger pop-up shop in the closet.
He’s in Steve’s room.
But where is Steve?
Curious about the time and day, Eddie instinctively goes to consult his watch that normally rests on his wrist.
It’s not there. 
Eddie then looks at his hands…his palms… Not a single blister, callous or hangnail. Those are not his hands.
“Those aren’t mine…” he thinks to himself.
Eddie then runs some stressed fingers through his hair, only to discover that its length is half of what it was when he fell asleep last night.
“That’s not mine either.”
Eddie shoots up immediately. When he finds himself standing, Eddie notices his food belly is gone, and that six pack abs have taken its place. Eddie then stares down at his feet, which are now exponentially larger. And hairier. And his thighs, now they’re a lot bulkier.
Suddenly Eddie’s hands explore his thighs, grazing his quads shortly before going to grope the two plump mounds of tissue behind him, both cheeks comparably twice the surface area of his palms!
“That’s DEFINITELY not mine.”
Absolutely panicked now, Eddie releases his grip on the butt that isn’t his and dashes out the room.
It appears that he is somehow not in his body. And the only person in Loch Nora with a dump truck for an ass — that Eddie knows of — is Steve Harrington.
But if he's Steve, then where is Eddie’s body?
The couch.
Eddie bolts over to Steve’s living room in search of his corpse. And to his surprise, he does find himself there, the chest that was his – but not his – at the same time rising and depressing as he watches himself sleep. 
“Christ if that’s not Steve in there, then I’m dead,” Eddie thinks to himself. “And quite frankly, I don’t know which one is worse.” 
Eddie clears his throat.
"H-hello? Steve?”
Nothing.
“Steve?” Eddie attempts again. “Hey. Steve. It’s Eddie. Wake up!”
Nothing.
“This is an emergency, Steve. I need you to wake up now, please.”
He gets a good snore out of the entity. Completely frustrated now, Eddie does not hold back.
"This is alarming, Steve! WAKE UP!”
Eddie unearths the bottom half of Steve's…his… body by pushing the blanket aside. When he tugs at his legs, Presumably Steve retaliates, grabbing onto the arms of the sofa to keep him in place.
“EARTH. TO. KING. STEVE!” Eddie screams.
"Whaaat, dude?!" the host in Eddie’s body grumpily demands.
"Aha! So you are Steve!"
"Duh, who the fuck else?" It demands. "Are you still high?"
"If I was, then that would better explain this."
Steve must’ve really done too much last night. Because for a while there, the person who he assumed was Eddie sounded a heck of a lot like him.
"That’s fucking weird," Steve shakes his head, turning over to look at Eddie. "For a second there, you sounded a lot like m—AAAH OH MY GOD!"
Palms clasping his… (well, Eddie’s) mouth now, Steve can only gasp in horror.
"WHO are you?” he demands. “WHAT are you?"
"It's me! It's Eddie!" Eddie gulps. "I'm... I’M INSIDE OF YOU!”
There’s a pause.
“I don't like how I worded that,” he admits.
"Yeah, neither do I..." Steve agrees. Suddenly he squints. "Is that a zit on my forehead?"
He reaches to swat it but Eddie swats him away. Through Steve's gritted teeth, Eddie hisses,
"THAT'S what you're worried about right now? What in the sane hell is happening?!"
“This isn’t the first weird dream I’ve had after taking an edible,” Steve remarks.
“Harrington, this ISN’T a dream. Okay? This is real life.”
“Yeah, okay Munson,” Steve scoffs, finally hoisting himself off of the couch to pace around. “I know a dream when I’m in one. I just gotta… pinch myself or slap myself around and I’ll be awake.”
But Eddie wastes no time.
“OW!” Steve yelps. “You just pinched my nipple!”
“You mean my nipple?”
He does it again.
“OW! Quit it dude, that’s harassment.”
The two make their way over to a mirror in the living room. To test out the impossible, Steve raises his right hand. The mirror shows Eddie doing it. Eddie begins to touch his face. The mirror responds with Steve doing it. 
It’s the confirmation they were too in denial to come to terms with. They somehow switched bodies.
“Oh god, I’m…” Steve stammers. “Wow…”
“Oh…GOD!” Eddie shrieks. He inches closer to the mirror. “I’m like an off-brand George Michael!”
“HURTFUL—”
“Harrington!” Eddie exclaims, turning back around to face himself. “What was the last thing you remember from last night?”
“Uhh,” Steve stammers. “A-all I remember was us arguing during dinner time and going separate ways after. And then there was a big earthquake that everyone insists that they didn’t feel. And then…we all went to bed, and I forgot to get you a pillow.”
“It’s okay, I’m over it,” Eddie pants. “Way bigger issues than a pillow right now.”
“And now we’re here.”
The two frantically pace around the living room. How can something like this possibly happen?
"Okay,” Eddie exhales. “Yesterday we were here with everybody. All of us were seemingly having a good time until we got pretty into it. Then the earthquake happened, we went to bed, and woke up sober… but in different bodies. Is this like…a rare phenomenon…some kind of medical emergency?”
“I don’t know, dude,” Steve shrugs. “This has never happened to me before. There has to be a scientific explanation for this."
Suddenly their two brain cells click.
"Henderson," they utter in unison.
“It was probably Dustin’s Empathy science experiment,” Steve infers. “Although I'm not sure how a fortune cookie would take walking-in-another-person's-shoes so damn LITERAL."
"God, we’re cooked!” Eddie groans. “And we can’t tell anyone but our friends about it or else we’re REALLY gonna end up as test subjects!”
Eddie starts biting his new nails and frantically pacing back and forth. Meanwhile, Steve centers in on his breathing before emotionally responding to the situation in front of him.
“Okay…” Steve exhales. “Let me just gather my thoughts… You’re in my body and I’m in your body.”
“...Right,” Eddie nods, annoyed since they’d already established that. “Does it seem less scary now that you’ve said it out loud?”
“No,” Steve shakes his head.
“Alright, cool,” Eddie shrugs. “Just checking.”
They look at each other, absolutely petrified of the reality that has now sunk in. And before they seek any other forms of help, there was one more final thought the two needed to share alone… one O.O.M.F. (Other Older Male Friend) to another, in the comfort of Steve’s living room.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
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[cue panicked guitar rift here 🎸⚡️]
“This is so not cool, man, this is SO not cool!”
Argyle, Jonathan, and Robin are the first ones at the scene. Along with Dustin, of course, who is now evidently spiraling. 
“I need some air,” Dustin sighs. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god.”
The scientist darts outside for a very reasonable and private mental breakdown. Meanwhile in his absence, everyone else attempts to get their Thinking Caps on.
“I mean…” Argyle pants. “It’s one thing to have a funky acid trip, it’s another to have an out-of-body experience…but this is…this is…”
“Freaky,” Jonathan finishes for him.
“It’s FREAKY!” Argyle agrees. “And it’s not like we can go to the cops, I mean, they'd never open their minds to something like this. They'd just ship us to the Kerley County KOOK HOUSE.”
“Or worse,” Eddie gulps. “The Lab.”
The room is drowned with frantic rambling once again as all the young adults talk over each other.
Will this be the new normal? A head-banging Steve and a preppy Eddie? It sounds like pure nightmare fuel. A disaster waiting to happen. And Dustin only programmed his fortune cookies for this… unintentionally. He didn’t program a way to undo it. 
Everyone is running out of ideas. That is until…
“Wait!” Robin exclaims. “What if you guys just…combined?”
The idea is met with retaliation.
“I beg your finest pardon?” “WE WHAT?!”
“Wait!” Eddie exclaims. “No, no, yeah! I get it. What if we… what if we just… RAN… into each other and the force will be great enough to switch us back?”
“Right! Right!” Steve frantically agrees. “Right, the greater the force, the greater the impact, and we’ll be back in our bodies in no time.”
Steve and Eddie are on opposite sides of the room before anyone else can register it. Kicking his foot around like a bull, Eddie warms himself up while Harrington takes deep breaths, grounding himself before the ordeal.
“Are they really about to…” Argyle begins.
“Sh.. sh..” Jonathan stops him.
“I really wanna see how this goes,” Robin adds.
“Okay,” Eddie huffs before he lets out a battle cry. “EN GUARDE!”
“OH GOD!” Steve shrieks.
“AHHHHHH!” 
“AHHHHHH!”
SMACK! PLOP!
Luckily the floor breaks their fall. The commotion grabs the attention of Dustin, who had just finished his meltdown. But at the sight of seeing his two friends attempt to combine, he could feel himself being launched into yet another one. 
“Okay,” Dustin sighs as he walks back in. “What the hell?!”
———
“Language, Dusty!”
The next brainiac to consult on the list is Suzie, Dustin���s girlfriend. Spawning from the Mormon Capital of the world (Salt Lake City, Utah), Little Miss Beauty and Brains is known to have a solution for just about anything. Until now, it seems.
 “I’m sorry for the language, Suzie. I’m just freaking out,” Dustin blubbers. “It’s not every day my best friends switch bodies and I have no idea how to change them back.”
“So let me get this straight…” Suzie sighs. “Steve is inside of Eddie, and Eddie is inside of Steve.”
“Okay, can we please stop wording it like that?!” Eddie pleads.
“Sorry, Steve.”
“I’M EDDIE!”
“Jiminy Cricket, this is so confusing.”
And what a sight for confused eyes it also is.  But as painful as it is to admit, it’s interesting watching “Steve Harrington” stomp at the ground muttering “Jesus H. Christ!” while “Eddie Munson” nitpicks everything about his hair in the mirror.
“Okay, let’s start from the beginning,” Suzie suggests. “How did this start? What did you use for your ingredients, Dusty Bun?”
“Passionfruit and cohosh,” Dustin answers firmly. “Well-known, NATURAL stimulants of oxytocin.”
“And you said they ate the cookies containing these ingredients?”
“Yes, and they got the same fortune which I programmed for them to feel empathy for each other when it happens. Their bodies should’ve released an immense amount of oxytocin. Instead, they uh well, they switched bodies.”
“Dusty Bun… there is no such thing as an oral oxytocin!”
“Why not?” Steve questions.
“Because it would just get destroyed in the GI tract,” Suzie explains. “Meaning there wouldn’t be any ‘stimulants’ to absorb into the bloodstream.”
“Meaning oxytocin would’ve never been released in the first place,” Eddie’s breath hitches.
“It’s also notorious for being unable to cross the blood-brain barrier,” Suzie adds. “Something always happens before it’s able to. This may as well be that something.”
“But… if it gets destroyed in the stomach…” Dustin wonders. “Then how the hell did Steve and Eddie still end up switching bodies?”
Suzie shoots Dustin a dirty look.
“How the heck…” he corrects himself.
Suzie softens up immediately. “I don’t know. Our Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. This may have happened for a reason. I’m not sure what it is yet, but I’m sure it serves a Divine purpose.”
“Well, can it SERVE a little faster?” Eddie grumbles. “I’ve got a Show and Tell to practice for and Harrington’s got children to babysit. We obviously can’t do that for each other. People are going to think we’ve gone crazy.”
Suddenly a light bulb goes off in his head.
“Wait. Henderson! Give us a couple more cookies. Maybe if we get the same fortune again, we’ll switch back!”
“NO! No more cookies!” Steve butts in. “Who’s to say you won’t end up inside another person whose body you didn’t wanna be in?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Okay…” Dustin stops him, disgusted at the fact. “Enough.”
“Dustin is right,” Suzie nods. “Enough arguing for now, and no more fortune cookies with matching fortunes until we can find out what’s wrong!”
The boys watch as Suzie walks back towards her desk and returns with some papers and pencils.
“Here. My homework for you two is to write down every little detail there is to know about each other. This includes your day-to-day, your hobbies, and even habits. No one can know what is really going on behind the scenes.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, wait,” Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t like what you’re implying. We don’t have to… live life as each other… do we?!”
“In the meantime, yes. You do.” Suzie confirms. “And it will be uncomfortable, I’m not going to lie. But what else can we do?”
“Uh, go through all of Dustin’s fortune cookies until we find a pair so Steve and I can ingest THOSE!” Eddie points out.
“Yeah, and there goes BOTH my Show and Tell items!” Dustin hollers.
“Dusty, don’t worry,” Suzie speaks again. “You will get to showcase your friends and fortune cookies at Show and Tell. I’ll be doing my own research to ensure that this happens. This includes talking to some monks, priests, and rabbis. We WILL get to the bottom of this.”
The three leave Suzie’s cabin feeling absolutely defeated. 
Of course this would happen the summer Steve finally got his hair under control. And of course this would happen the moment Eddie has a potential record deal at the palm of his hands. Any other circumstance would have been okay, despite the freakiness factor. This was just shit timing if they ever did see it.
And if Suzie can’t fix it, they’re screwed.
When they get far enough away from the girls' cabins, Steve excuses himself to the nearest water fountain. In contrast, Eddie shows himself to the closest Porta-Potty, the safest place for him to have a conversation he wouldn’t be caught dead having.
“Hey God,” Eddie grumbles. “Me again.”
———
Adapting to each other’s lives certainly wasn’t easy.
It started with switching cars.
Steve’s BMW has sensitive brakes. Eddie’s beloved van, Halen, on the other hand requires more force, more aggression, something Eddie believed Steve would bust his toe doing.
And Eddie can only hope that when Steve is running around town as him, he doesn’t embarrass him all too much. He’s already not off to a good start, with a stupid Thundercats t-shirt on and his hair up in a bun.
“And when you’re outside with the kiddos, make sure they wear sunscreen,” Steve advises him. “You're a camp counselor, after all.”
“Got it.”
“And that an epipen is with you at all times,” Steve adds. “Some of the kids have bee and nut allergies and those reactions can be lethal.”
Make sure this. Make sure that. It’s odd for Eddie to be hearing it all in his own voice. Has Steve always been this annoying?
Eventually Eddie gets tired of it and consults his Walkman, blasting “Take Me Away” through his headphones to drown out Steve’s rambling. Rambling on and on and on and on… on and on and on and on….
“Eddie!” Steve shouts. “Are you listening?”
“Don’t wanna grow up I wanna get out,” Eddie sings. “HEY! Take me away.”
Eddie was listening. In fact he listens and pays attention more than Steve knows. He just doesn’t want to give him that satisfaction.
“I’m gonna get you a real job,” Steve says to Eddie.
“A real job?” Eddie tuts. “My job is real. I sell real drugs and bring in real money to help my Uncle afford our really real rent.”
“But I’m not gonna be the one doing it.”
“Sure you are. You’re me.”
“Munson, no!”
“Harrington, yes.”
“I’M NOT SELLING KETAMINE TO MINORS, EDDIE.”
“Aw. But you fit the stereotype,” Eddie smirks, rather cheekily. “Now chop chop, Rick’s expecting royalties on said sales.”
“Maybe I can land you a hospitality job. Or maybe a front desk job. Something that comes with benefits. Something practical.”
“A Munson with a normal job in Hawkins?” Eddie can’t believe his ears. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
Perhaps there is a silver lining in all of this. 
For the average Hawkins resident, getting a job is no issue. It was never a choice for Eddie. Given his father’s less-than-cookie-cutter reputation – and Eddie being an involuntary extension of him – he couldn’t believe Steve couldn’t grasp that getting a conventional job is hard. And Eddie always thought Harrington needed some humbling. This is the perfect scenario for it.
“Take your feet off your dash,” Steve grumbles. “Steve Harrington doesn’t do that.”
“AyAy, Captain.”
“And stop head-banging in my body, will ya?” Steve begs. “You’ll break a sweat and un-pomade my hair.”
“God, you’re so anal about everything, Steve!” Eddie scoffs. “I feel sorry for those kids, I really do.”
If Eddie’s going to be walking around in Steve’s body, he at least wanted to relax first. But even that was impossible, given that Steve is a talker and alleged goodie-two-shoes-who-discovered-empathy-on-drugs-and-that’s-all-he-preaches-now (with the rules of a mother whose son was allergic to everything but water).
The car ride is more tense and quiet as the two approach Knowhere. Eddie is quick to scurry out when Steve approaches the drop-off curb, a little speech already prepared from the first nerve Harrington managed to get on in the morning.
“Loosen up that manbun,” Eddie commands once he’s out of the car. “You look like the Buddha went thrifting in Chicago. You also need to unclench your asscheeks a bit more if you wanna be me. And to put more fiber in your diet. How’s that for advice?”
SLAM! goes the door. Steve normally would’ve been pissed, but since he’s driving Halen, he’s lenient about it. So he watches Eddie walk away, in a stride that looks like he's constantly got a wedgie, over to the camp and towards the kids he is to watch until Show and Tell Day.
“WEAR SUNSCREEN!” Steve hisses, one last time. “…I don’t play about my skin.”
———
“Hey, Steve!” a group of campers greet Eddie as he makes his way into Knowhere.
God, this is so weird.
“Hey…kiddos?” Eddie greets them in return.
“We’re gonna go diving in the lake, just letting you know.”
“Thanks for the invite,” Eddie tuts. “Sounds like a lot of fun. Just uh, wear sunscreen.”
“Well, we try to invite you but you never wanna come with us.”
“Says who?” Eddie demands. “It’s summer, everyone goes to the lake.”
“Everyone but you,” a kid points out. “You turn us down every time.”
“I do?”
“All the time,” another kid confirms. “You say it ruins your hair.”
"I was...joking," is all Eddie can come up with.
"Really? Because it doesn't sound like you were," another child counters. "You already don't like that the UV rays have the potential to damage your hair cuticles, which aids in your fear of dryness and breakage. Furthermore, swimming in a lake filled with miscellaneous, unidentified bacterium is another concern, apart from the warm water having the potential to dry your hair out even more. Also, at windy temperatures of about 80 degrees, typical for a Hawkins summer, your hair when damp will start to frizz. Which is where your pomade and Farrah Fawcett spray come in handy. And on summer days, you give your hair 32 hours before the next hair wash rotation, to which the cycle starts again. We know the drill, Steve. You've explained it multiple times. And we get it now that you don’t like the lake."
Even the kids think Harrington's insufferable. Eddie can only shake his head in disbelief.
"I'm not who I was a day ago," Eddie shrugs. "...literally."
"Huh?"
"You gonna let me join or what?"
Suddenly, the kids’ eyes begin to light up. Steve Harrington joining them at the lake? It was going to be the most fun day they’ve ever had!
"Sure!" the kids cheer excitedly. "Al-right! Steve is joining our party!"
Eddie smiles to himself, proud of the reaction he got from the eager children. Excited cheers? Smiling faces? Now THAT is how you Camp Counsel.
And now that Eddie thinks about it, he realizes something. He’s spent most of his youth in survival mode that he never got to let loose and have fun. And while he has Steve’s body and physical activity levels, he is certainly NOT about to let that go to waste. Pomade? Eddie thinks to himself. Meet Trash Can.
“Hey guys! Wait for me!” Eddie calls after the campers. “CANNONBALL!"
Meanwhile Steve sets off to find Eddie a job.
A real job.
He tries Hawkins Mart. The roller rink. The movie theater. The coffee shops. Something that involved social interaction and hard work. 
"Hi there," Steve grins politely. "I'm Eddie Munson, and I'd like to apply for a job."
But Hawkins is anything but receptive to it.
"No."
"Nope."
"Sorry."
"Munson, eh? You related to Al Munson?"
"NO!"
Apparently misdemeanors and run-ins with the law make it impossible to land a good gig. It was no wonder now why Eddie stayed where he was comfortable.
Though, it's unconventional.
Steve is just about to lose hope when those looking for help didn't even want him.
But he wasn’t giving up. There has to be something Steve can do to increase Eddie's chances of landing a good job.
Just then, he realizes. 
Maybe it’s not Eddie’s past, but his demeanor. The way he carries himself. If he didn’t dress like a vessel for Satan every single day, this conservative town would probably take him more seriously.
It's one of life's twisted games. Steve didn’t make the rules. And he sure as hell can't change it. 
But there is one thing he can help Eddie do. He can help Eddie play the game. Master it.
And that’s when Steve sees the scissors.
———
So you can say sunscreen is the least of everyone’s worries.
“Jesus Chr— what did you do to my hair?!”
“What did you do to MINE?!”
“I had to let her breathe man,” Eddie explains. “God, Harrington. No wonder you’re always in a mood. Holding your hair up with so much gel, MY HEAD FELT HEAVIER THAN A BOWLING BALL.”
“Oh yeah?” Steve challenges him. “Well your hair was so greasy, I could’ve pat it down with a paper towel like it’s PIZZA.”
The two are at it again, reaching at each other’s hair and then swatting each other away like flies. Suddenly Robin butts into the quarrel, emerging from the kitchen with amusement spread all across her face. 
“Oh…my…god…” she says.
Steve and Eddie simultaneously stop their bickering and pan their gazes over to her. Unable to contain her laughter, Robin releases a hearty chuckle in front of them.
“Holy shit, this is the greatest thing since disposable cameras,” Robin tsks. “On that note, let me go get mine.”
“NO!” both Steve and Eddie refuse.
“This is so humiliating!” Steve whines. “I look like someone literally mopped the floor with me!” 
“You're embarrassed?!” Eddie exclaims as he points to his own, original body. “Whose Peepaw died?! Why am I wearing a grandpa sweater sourced from the crusty back bins of Goodwill?!”
"I thought it'd be fitting attire for your library job that I got you."
"You got me a job at the LIBRARY?!” Eddie shrieks. “Out of all places?"
"No other place would hire you!"
"Can’t say I didn’t warn ya."
“And why does my hair LOOK LIKE THAT?!” Steve demands. “You went into the lake with the kids, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?!”
Eddie shakes his head at him, baffled. “God forbid, I – the camp counselor — do camp counselor things! I did exactly what you told me to do.”
“WHERE DID I SAY YOU COULD MESS UP MY HAIR?”
Steve takes a moment to mourn his glorious mane. Meanwhile, Eddie starts brainstorming how he’s going to rob a high end salon for all their hair growth serums. 
Just then, Robin reemerges from the shadows with her camera, panning it directly at the two of them, as if she were some eager journalist fighting for her spot on the front page of National Geographic.
“Say cheese, freaks!”
———
Eddie was having a hard time being Steve.
Being Hawkins’ most desirable male apart from Billy Hargrove was harder than he thought. Because while women worshiped the ground Steve walked on, it was hard for flight-risk teens to take the Pretty Boy seriously.
“Christopher!” Eddie hisses. “I told you to stop domesticating the raccoons, you little shit.”
Living in the trailer park, Eddie’s no stranger to those feral, yet adorable, beady-eyed beauties. And while they were cute, holding your hand, refurbishing your trash, and performing for crackers, there was an unspoken agreement when it came to those kinds of animals: you are to never take them in.
“But it’s for research!” Christopher pleads.
“I wouldn’t care if it was for the Nobel Peace Prize,” Eddie scolds him. He places his angry hands frustratedly on his hips. “Those things can be rabid, violent, and aggressive when you least expect it. Trust me on this. Raccoons are better left alone in the wild. They can’t live with people like us.”
A low, miserable groan furls at the base of the boy’s belly. He kicks at the dirt beneath him.
“Ugh, you ruin all the fun, Steve,” Christopher whines. “Eddie Munson would never treat us like this.”
That statement just about nipped Eddie in the soul. Was this what being a buzzkill is like? Little did Christopher know that it’s actually Eddie scolding him. And that the kids were not only hurting Steve’s feelings but his as well. 
Meanwhile Steve wasn’t having a grand time being Eddie either.
“HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING BOY?!”
He almost died. Quite literally. And if it hadn’t been for Wayne launching himself across the room to stop it from happening, the odds of he and Eddie ever switching back would’ve gone from unlikely to zero.
“What?!” Steve demands.
“What do you mean, what?!” Wayne demands. “You eat that thing you’re going to wound up in the hospital! Again!”
Steve’s eyes trail down to the delicious shrimp tacos he had bought for takeout from Estrella’s. 
Eddie is deathly allergic to shellfish. And with just a single bite of that shrimp taco, he would be in the back of an ambulance with hives and a closed-up throat. And judging by the fact that Eddie and his uncle didn’t necessarily bring home the ‘big bucks’, an invoice from Hawkins Memorial Hospital wouldn’t be an ideal situation to put him through.
“We’re already two months behind on rent,” Wayne grumbles. “You eat those tacos, kick the bucket, and rack up them bills, I may as well join ya six feet under.”
No tacos, no time and a half at work, and no solution to the problem at hand. No wonder Eddie was always an angsty mess. It definitely showcases in those lyrics too.
———
“Take me away, away, away, AWAY”
A killer guitar solo rips through the Harrington garage as Eddie strums away at the chords. 
In hindsight, it looks like Steve is the rockstar. But the feral energy is unmistakably Munson’s, to which Dustin can’t help but get lost in, dancing along as a one-man-mosh-pit to the brilliance of Corroded Coffin’s discography.
“Same old stuff, it never ends.”
“The song sounds so cool hearing it in Steve’s voice,” Dustin beams. “And I can’t believe you put him in a crop top.”
“It’s like dressing up a Barbie doll,” Eddie jokes as he puts his guitar away. He then turns his torso towards Henderson’s field of view. “Look… Harrington’s an innie.”
Dustin cackles at the sight.
“Hahaha, no way!” he cheers. “I’m an outie.”
“Me too.”
The garage lets out an insulated hum as Steve strides in with the tacos. He cocks an eyebrow, confused at the sight of Dustin and Corroded Coffin comparing navels with each other. 
“What did I just walk into?”
Eddie’s eyes light up at the sight of Steve.
“Ooh, is that Estrella’s I smell?” he inquires.
“All yours,” Steve grumbles. “Found out today that I can’t have shellfish.”
Eddie smirks at the realization.
“But I can,” he sings. “Because I’m Steve Harrington.”
Eddie rushes over to Steve to acquire the food. Steve goes over to greet the rest of the boys and to issue Dustin a long-awaited high five.
“Mmm…” Eddie coos. “Take a good look at these washboard abs, Innie. They’ll be gone for as long as I can have these tacos.”
Steve makes a face. “I can’t believe you put me in a crop top.”
“I can’t believe you cut my hair,” Eddie shrugs.
But he seems to have gotten over the fact. Hair will grow back. There were larger issues at hand today. Like how exactly Eddie is going to perform with Corroded Coffin at Show and Tell.
“Listen,” Eddie wipes his mouth. “Harrington. I have a favor. If worse comes to worst and we can’t switch back on time, I need you to perform as me for Show and Tell.”
“And why exactly would I do that?”
“Because it’s our one shot to make it big.”
“Again, why would I do that?”
“Because you love me,” Eddie sneers.
But his face drops when Steve doesn’t return the energy. 
Nowhere in the fine print did it say ‘Steve Owes Eddie’. So why would Steve bother? It’s a lot for Eddie to ask of someone he’s openly mocked for years. But now that he needs something, suddenly Steve is the coolest person in the world? It doesn’t work like that. 
“Hey…” Eddie begins. “I know you don’t like me, okay? Whatever animosity you have towards me, I hope we can move on from it one day.” 
Steve refuses to meet Eddie’s eyes.
“If you do this for me, I’ll be eternally grateful,” Munson adds. “And maybe just maybe — when Corroded Coffin makes it big and we start touring around the world — I’ll be out of your hair forever. Literally.”
“Seems transactional.” 
It leaves a bad taste in Eddie’s mouth. It was always ‘Terms and Conditions’ with Harrington. Never has he ever considered the other person’s feelings. Never has he ever done anything out of the goodness of his heart. It was always, “What do I get out of it?”. Always some sort of fucked up business move. Just like his father.
“You view everything as a transaction, don’t you?” Eddie scoffs. 
“Why would I do favors for someone who’s done nothing but disrespect me? I value my time and energy. I’m not wasting it on you.” 
“But you can waste it on being a camp counselor, right? The kids aren’t so hot about you anyways, so I don’t know why you keep showing up.”
“Because Dustin is there. Because I’m a good friend. You wouldn’t know sacrifice and loyalty if it hit you in the face.”
“Ah, there it is. The performative activism in plain sight. We all know that this is about Dustin. AAAAlways been that way.”
“Of course my summer is about Dustin,” Steve argues. “You’ve had him all year. Spending every second with him and breathing down his neck.”
“I’M the one spending too much time with him?” Eddie scoffs. “Breathing down his neck?! You’re the one who got a gig to be closer to him.”
“Does it register with you that it’s because I DON’T SEE HIM MUCH AT ALL ANYMORE?” Steve shouts. “He’s always at your stupid D&D games and never wants to hang out with me! You’re taking the spotlight, like you always seem to do!”
“That’s IT!” Dustin barks. “I have HAD it with you two fighting all the time.”
Finally, it’s quiet. And normally the two would be stoked about it, but seeing Dustin on the brink of tears does not make the last word worthwhile at all.
“Not even a life-changing catastrophe will make you guys stop! You’re in each other’s bodies for Christ’s sake and still going at it like cats and dogs.”
Dustin starts back towards the house, kicking at the chords beneath his feet that are blocking his dramatic exit. All Dustin has ever wanted from those two – and quite literally every adult in his life – was co-existence. A notion so easy, yet no one has ever been able to give him that. Not even with his damn empathy cookies.
“It all makes me feel like a failure. Locking myself in my cabin for six weeks to have my fortune cookies yield THESE results? My last year at camp too.”
“Dustin–”
“And if you guys keep this up, then I don’t wanna spend the rest of my summer with either of you. How’s that for compromise?”
“Hey. Buddy…” Steve starts again.
“Henderson!” Eddie calls at the same time.
But it’s already too late. Off Dustin goes, Camp Nowhere notebook in his arms, walkie in his pocket, and car keys jingling furiously around his fingers. Nothing worth displaying at Show and Tell if the grown ups were going to act younger than the campers there. And if Dustin’s anger wasn’t already prominent, the way he backs out of Steve’s driveway is a dead giveaway, judging by the screeching tires and the pop of the engine as he steps on the gas.
“Damn,” Jeff comments. “Taco ‘bout a tough crowd…”
Ba-dum-tss! the drum sounds.
“GARETH!” Steve and Eddie growl.
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"Scott Clarke."
Hearing that name nearly gives Eddie whiplash. Especially because it came out of Steve’s mouth.
"Huh?"
Steve repeats himself. "Scott Clarke? Our middle school science teacher?”
Steve is perched at the bottom of the stairs, wading aimlessly around in guilt. Eddie watches as he props himself against the rails of his fancy staircase, almost as if to serenade him with an apology song of sorts. 
"When we were kids, he headed the Hawkins Middle AV Club,” Steve recalls. “Nancy was in it, and so was Mike and so was Sinclair, Baby Byers, and Dustin.”
“Go on…”
“Well…whenever they ran into trouble, Mr. Clarke was always there to help,” Harrington shrugs. “Always been very personable, non-judgmental, and most of all, he’s knowledgeable.”
“Okay…”
 “And with his degree from MIT, he’d be the one most likely able to get us out of this mess,” Steve emphasizes. “Just in time for Show and Tell.”
“What makes you think he’d want to help former students like us?” Eddie demands. “We weren’t in the AV club or anything.”
“Because he cares, Eddie. Current students or not.”
There’s a pause.
“Remember that one time you came into homeroom with a black eye?” Steve reflects. “And Clarke made you stay after class so he could ask if everything was okay at home?”
Attempting to mask the mushy feelings underneath, Eddie simply shrugs. Steve persists.
“Other teachers would have assumed you got in a fight or something. Even if that was the case, none of them cared to look further into it. No one except Mr. Clarke.” 
“Yeah,” Eddie admits, choked up now. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that.”
It actually was a fight that happened that day. Some random kid at school. But there were also times Eddie has gotten in scuffles with his father, typically when Al Munson stumbled home too drunk for his own good and tried laying a hand on either him or Uncle Wayne. And Mr. Clarke, having grown up with Al, knew what he was capable of. Meaning it was his unspoken civil duty to look out for (Munson) Junior.
“And,” Harrington sighs. “I’m kinda really desperate here. I want you to be able to perform at Dustin’s Show and Tell. You and the band have a shot at this. I wholeheartedly believe that. And I don’t have much faith in my ability to perform as you. Neither does Dustin, it seems.”
“Steve…” Eddie begins. 
“And sure, I was upset about not being Henderson’s first choice for a while,” Steve rambles. “But I’ll be okay. The kids can learn survival skills another time. ”
Grateful tears start to form in Eddie’s eyes. He’s never seen this side of Steve before. 
“My hopes and dreams don’t depend on Show and Tell,” Steve mumbles. “And if it means a producer from Cardinal Records is going to be there, then getting Wayne and yourself out of debt does.”
Their eyes meet again.
“I can’t take that away from you.”
Suddenly the rocker feels his knees buckle.
It feels as if Eddie’s soul is about to leave his body. Or Steve’s in this sense. Struggling to keep his composure, the ever-so-rugged Eddie Munson clears his throat.
“…I didn’t think you paid attention to any of that, Steve.”
“I pay attention more than you think,” Steve counters. “And if my observations are right, Mr. Clarke might have the answer.”
Steve shrugs, dangling the keys to Eddie’s van around his fingers. He hula hoops them around as Eddie remains floored, pondering above him.
“Well?” says Steve. “You just gonna stand there and gawk, ‘Harrington’? Come on.”
Perhaps walking and gawking would be more productive. Without further hesitation, Eddie races down the steps and follows closely behind Steve before shutting the door to the house.
“Wipe your feet,” Steve commands as he unlocks the doors to Halen.
“What do you mean wipe my feet?” Eddie snaps. “It’s MY van!”
“Yeah, but I’m the one who’s been driving it,” Steve counters with a glare. “And I’m saying wipe your feet.”
Nonetheless, Eddie sighs and does as he’s told. But he’s not happy about it. 
Never in a million years did he think Steve Harrington would tell him how to run his own van. Nor did he think Harrington would actually end up being a good dude. Both were very humbling experiences. And while King Steve drives them off to Hawkins Middle, willingly blasting Metallica and doing his best to head-bang, Eddie crosses his arms and stares blankly out the passenger side window.
“I’m never eating anything Dustin makes me again.”
———
"So..." Eddie prompts. "Can you fix us?"’
“If it isn’t broken, then do not fix it,” Mr. Clarke advises. 
There was only so much that could be disclosed to their former teacher. Being an educator also meant being a mandated reporter, and it’s without a doubt government officials would bust down the doors of Camp Knowhere and run a freak raid on Dustin’s science experiment had they known the truth. Steve and Eddie had to gloss over practically everything.
“I appreciate and am honored to know you two trust me with your dilemma,” Mr. Clarke nods. “That being said, it is normal for gentlemen your age to go through an identity crisis after experimenting with recreational drugs. It will subside, but only if you don’t fight it.”
A decade can certainly change things. Steve and Eddie never expected their most logic-driven teacher to embrace his heart, dressed in a brown linen robe, as he calmly kept them on standby with soothing, meditative “Ommm”s while they spiraled into desperation in his ‘BACK TO (S)C(H)OOL’ classroom.
“But what is the science behind this?” Steve demands. “Is something happening in the…the… what did Suzie call it? The blood-brain barrier? Why would… Harrington and I both feel like we are living the life of the other person?”
“To question everything is to not know peace,” Mr. Clarke soothes them.
He’s saying this while criss-cross-apple-sauce on his desk, by the way.
“Sometimes, it is best to simply let things be,” the educator warns. “By going against the grain of the water, you are blocking the potential you can reach if you had been in a flow state.”
“Good God, you choose NOW to go on a spiritual retreat?!” Eddie hisses. “When we need science and your genius mind the most?!”
“If not now, then when?” Mr. Clarke mumbles. “If not you, then who?”
For the first time in his life, Eddie feels plagued with academic regret. He wishes he paid attention in Clarke’s class. Meanwhile Steve is considering having a word with his superintendent mother, because no way in hell is some barefoot, most-likely-vegan lunatic about to indoctrinate the future kids of America. 
“If not you… then who?” Clarke repeats. “If there's one thing I learned during my time in research… and mindful meditation…  it's that sometimes the answer is right in front of you. Or within."
Steve and Eddie look at each other.
"The world is full of obvious things," Mr. Clarke says. "...which nobody, by any chance, ever observes. Sherlock Holmes."
Accepting the absolute bust, Steve and Eddie storm out of the door and back down the stairs of their prepubescent alma mater. 
“Son of a bitch,” Eddie curses under his breath. “The damn hippies got to him before we did.”
As the two walk down the stairs, Steve sneaks a few quick glances Eddie’s way. Seeing him upset didn’t necessarily make him feel so hot. The answer is clear: they need to venture beyond a Mormon child and a middle school science teacher. They need to consult the big dogs. 
“We can go to the Indianapolis Science Center,” Steve suggests. “And maybe ask some people there. There’s also the university. If we flag down a professor from the physics or chemistry department, maybe they can offer us some insight. Or…”
“Just give it a rest, Steve,” Eddie surrenders.
“What?” Steve questions. “No! We’ve got to figure this out before Show and Tell. It’s in a couple days.”
“What’s a couple days?” Eddie demands. “We’ve been like this for nearly a week. What makes you think it won’t last another week? Or indefinitely.”
Eddie kicks at an empty carton of orange juice at his feet while Steve watches with an overwhelming sense of guilt. He didn’t want Eddie to give up. Not yet, at least.
“Hey I’m not going to let you blow this shot, Munson,” Steve demands firmly. “I know how much this means to you. This could finally be your ticket out of Hawkins. You guys were meant for the Big City.”
“No,” Eddie disagrees, absentmindedly. 
Eddie’s gaze veers off to the side, a sadness in his eyes so profound that Steve almost starts tearing up as well. 
“All… the answers… point…to no,” Eddie continues. “Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone followed their dreams? We’d have no one doing the conventional jobs. It's not in my cards, I fear. Maybe I was always meant to stay in Hawkins, being everyone’s weed man and no one’s first choice.”
“Eddie…”
“But thanks for trying though, Harrington. Doesn’t go unnoticed.”
———
To be continued…
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shewolfofvilnius · 1 day
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There is a huge part of me that is curious about dragon age because I love BG3 so much. But idk anything about it? Also none of the characters strike me as interesting (or attractive....) Maybe you could tell me what you like so much about ? maybe talk about the characters so I can give it a chance? I want to like it! but I just don't know!
I DIDN'T FORGET
So for me the first draw of Dragon Age is the incredible lore and worldbuilding that goes on in the games and books. It's arguably just as fleshed out as a setting like the Forgotten Realms despite just being three (soon four) video games and about a dozen books/comics. There's centuries of history. Ancient ruins. Environmental storytelling for days. A little visual cue in the first game that's referenced in optional banter in the third that pays off in the fourth (FIFTEEN years apart). I really appreciate that the first game, Dragon Age: Origins, only exposes you to part of the story. The game's set in a pestilence known as the Fifth Blight, and you're the plucky young adventurer that the grizzled old veteran manages to recruit out of a bad situation just before the end. And you and your friends are all that stand between victory and oblivion. But right off the bat there's storytelling about love and loss and prejudice and honor. There's a noble character who dies, leading to a coward being killed as the stakes are built. (There's also a dog you can pet, and moments to show kindness during armageddon, like a prisoner who just wants a sandwich before he dies, he hasn't been fed.)
And the banter is funny (if some of it's aged a bit unwell), and the gameplay really encourages you to get in the head of whatever character you want to build. Yes you can be the cliche prince charming. You can also be the sibling of a prostitute to pay the bills until your sister lands a high profile john who catches feels for her. From the start it's equal measures hopeful and bleak at the same time. (And as you invest in YOUR character emotionally, you inevitably emotionally invest in your companions too.) And gradually the world gets bigger. A character whose town you watch get destroyed becomes the protagonist of the second game, and they hook you in to. They're a refugee, a very timely story, and if they're a magic user, then they're an especially persecuted refugee. But you still make friends amidst the hopelessness. More of the world gets revealed. You have FUN, somehow. Characters from past games recur, either as cameos or in one very specific case as a high profile recurring character in 3 out of the 4. And you become so glad to see them as they represent continuity of story.
It's a game about family and faith and the lack thereof and prejudice and love and how one counters the other, about how persecuted people often pay the price of things that happened before their ancestors' ancestors were born, and that tomorrow should always be better than today.
That's thematic, though. Maybe you take a shine to Isabela the Pirate and Aveline the Guard Captain (maybe Merrill the blood mage elf, too). The three women basically form one of the best depictions of big/middle/little sister trios I've ever seen in a game. What starts out as cold hostility becomes banterful compassion and love. A lot of folks fell for Solas, an elven apostate whose every word is couched in three mysteries and two half-truths but seems to know way more than he's letting on. When you find out a horrible secret about the honourable Grey Warden Blackwall, do you leave him to his fate, try to redeem him, deliver a sufficient consequence, or outright torture him.
And you won't like everyone. The odds of you liking both the spirit-possessed mage Anders and the anti-magic elf Fenris in the same play of the same game are low unless you metagame it. And sometimes the games even rewards you for someone hating your ass or vice versa, and THAT'S organic. But being mean or having a negative interaction isn't some edgelord thing either, it's just "sometimes people don't get along" or "something you just need to punch someone"
You get to laugh at the tough stern warrior Cassandra getting absolutely beside herself wanting to know what happens in a book that it's writer, another of your companions, hated writing - and that even Cass herself calls smutty literature. Another character, The Iron Bull, is faced with a choice: His found family and the freedom to be who he's become, or the belief system he's known his entire life and that expects him to conform.
Does your character sacrifice? Does your character make the streets run red with blood? Is all you want to make people feel inspired and in something bigger than themselves? Even playing three (soon four) wholly new characters, you get to truly role-play and emotionally invest in these little blorbos, maybe even more strongly in Baldur's Gate. When a character returns you weren't expecting, is it joyful or melancholy? Can your character handle a confrontation of everything they've ever known.
And in the newest game, there's a baby griffon.
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I love Dragon Age. The lore is expansive beyond sanity for a franchise with it's commercial output. The characters feel alive, and the game tasks you to emotionally invest in order to reap the maximum reward and suffer the strongest heartache. Plus, in many cases, when the game doesn't tell you, say about your character? You get to roleplay and use your imagination so, so strongly.
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britcision · 4 months
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Someone confiscate the Kabumisu Rapunzel AU from me, I am not starting a long form anything until my DPxDC novel is done but also I am ONLY capable of doing it wrong
Because:
Kabru MUST be Rapunzel. Mandatory. Milsiril is not letting that little bitch out of her tower. (Also his Main Character Energy)
Mithrun has less than zero drive to do anything ever up to and including wandering around in lonely tower infested woods to find said lost princess
These can only be resolved by Mithrun also already being inside the tower and then we’re into Beauty and The Beast territory too with the Forbidden Room but instead of Cursed Flower there is Cursed Hottie
Tbh Labrumisu would solve this problem where’s my threesome shippers we need ONE (1) character with some goddamn initiative
(Sadly still can’t be me I do not ship Laios in general he’s just not got that Ship Juice)
Milsiril just has such perfect villain vibes and okay I’m selling myself on the Labrumisu because if Laios comes in to kidnap one of her babies (and her broken former coworker) there’s a 50-50 on whether Milsiril just decides he’s young enough to adopt
This is now a main character hoarding situation Falin and Marcille have to come rescue Laios and also his boyfriends from the crazy sword elf and her army of dolls
Which is why I can’t write this one.
Look at that.
Look what happened in like 5 bullet points.
The rails have been OBLITERATED but also it’s just got such good legs someone take this idea and run with it to somewhere very different and much simpler than I am capable of
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deathpxrception · 2 years
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I swear there’s no such thing as normal people in my life IRL anymore
#i have had an adventure#long story short though? needed money so i took up a job for a friend who needs help with this or that from time to time#shady stuff occassionally but nothing like dangerous or illegal just sort of of under the table stuff#sometimes help fix houses for market or do errands or meet with this person on his behalf to pick up when he's out of state#or going through abandoned storages he's purchased and helping load up anything of value#stuff like that#anyways he asked me to look for someone go to their house because they went silent and owe him or something#so i go there understandably nervous. door unlocked so i knock and call you know just to make sure he's alive#no response. guy is somewhat old so maybe he had a stroke or something i dunno my concern outweighs my caution so i venture in#I SHIT YOU NOT he had fucking fake bodies#not mannequins fake decoy bodies under his sheets of his rooms#I am undestandably shitting bricks over what kind of weirdo i'm dealing with at this point#he had them in like every room. like every single room of his house#he left a note in his kitchen like he knew someone was coming about being out of town for a couple of days#i tell friend about it. he calls the guy. no answer still.#note did say he'd be back in a few days though. after leaving and checking in here and there the guy did come back though so#no murder mystery or anything like that. he just suddenly got an urge to leave to fucking oregon. for no reason. he just...felt like it#i asked him about the dolls and he explains it's to discourage robbers#BUT HE LEFT HIS FUCKING FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED DESPITE GOING THIS FAR SO I'M JUST????????#started talking about prepping for the grid to fall one day and living in the mountains and government conspiracies and getting really#heated with me. like dude actually fucking grabbed me and shook me and was warning me about fucking chinese agents and some shit and i just#want him to hurry up and call my friend so i can go home and get my fucking money at this point#I SHIT YOU NOT#he kept talking for a whole 1 and 30 minutes about just random ass shit even as I kept explaining to him he NEEDS to check in with my friend#but nope nope. too complicated. he needed to get his 'energy' right for a conversation with 'that guy'#but talking to me was fine because he senses i was a kindred spirit#not sure how to take that#anyways i did eventually get him to call and got paid#when i got home but holy fucking shit#there's a lot i'm leaving out here for time and sanity's sake including his nostaligic grilled cheese rambling but yeah
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theodore-sallis · 17 days
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“Tower of the Satyr!” Man-Thing (Vol. 1/1974), #14.
Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler and Inker: Alfredo Alcala; Colorist: Glynis Wein; Letterer: Marcos Pelayo
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Man-Thing vol. 1#Man-Thing 1974#cover gallery#Man-Thing#Ted Sallis#You know sometimes I’m surprised by how little Ted shows up/how little Ted does in his own book#I can’t entirely blame the authors as how they were choosing to portray him at this time (barely sentient but empathic with some instinct#roving mass of sludge) is very hard to frame as an active instigator of the plot#but still…#it’s one of those things where if your guy’s name is on the front cover you want to see your guy hahaha#I guess this issue particularly crystalizes the trend I’ve noticed with this volume#where it feels like there are definitely some stories the author wants to tell#and he’s just using this book as a vehicle to tell those stories by virtue of adding in Man-Thing to like#tip over a metaphorical domino every once in awhile alshdj#but I might be blabbing all of this because I’m still trying to decide my opinion on this issue’s very fairy tale-like plot#(that has Ted stapled on)#on the one hand heck yeah heck yeah heck yeah pirate queen#but it feels weird that the story ends with said pirate queen staying with the dude who briefly encaged her for marriage#after she was betrayed by her crew#even if they back pedal later to say «oh he was trying to protect her from her jealous crew»#I’m sorry I’m going to need more then «it just feels right :)» for why she’d still stay with him in the end#she can’t continue her adventures anywhere???#it also totally goes against what they tried to establish earlier of her being an effortlessly talented pirate#but I guess that’s 70’s comics for you#«look! a strong female hero character!!! (but don’t worry she’s not TOO strong and she’ll end up someone’s girlfriend#…and she’s still in hot pants :)»#anyway don’t mind me dithering on about an issue that was an absolute drop in the veritable sea of comic book history hahaha
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Striking reading Embassytown immediately after Don Quixote because whilst you wouldn't usually compare sci-fi (published 2011) to a parody of the chivalric romance genre (final part published 1615) they are nevertheless strikingly similar
#like embassytown is about language: who controls communication; truth vs lies vs metaphors vs similes; what if there were no such thing as a#Concept You Had No Words For (Yet) what if you could only experience what you said#don quixote is about a guy who's a bit cringe and gets beaten up a lot#but they are also both about stories and communication#don quixote goes on his adventures because he reads too much and thinks them real - the narrator frequently refers to The True And Real#History of Don Quixote even though what we're reading is no more real than what he read and believed to be true#embassytown's plot hinges on lies but also I think the question How can we communicate across the vast differences between us#and even as the characters begin to lie so does the narrator (or at least finds herself struggling to tell the truth)#Cervantes - through Cide Hamete Benengeli - complains at the start of part 2 at how someone took his story away from him; wrote a second pa#Embassytown's narrator 'admit[s] defeat. [...] Perhaps because I didn't pay proper attention perhaps because it wasn't a narrative but for#whatever reasons it doesn't want to be what I want to make it'#Benegali tells us 'no [story]* can be bad so long as it is true' Avice says 'This is a true story I'm telling but I am telling it and that#entails certain things'#Do You Kinda See My Point. it's about how we tell stories to each other and how we communicate the non-real#*many translators translate 'historia' as 'history'. discuss amongst yourselves what impact that makes vs its other meaning of 'story'#I don't actually know how much sense I'm making; I'm tired and I'm just rambling in the tags#but like it's cool
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undiscovered-horizon · 10 months
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[To be loved is to be changed. And while being married to you has changed Mihawk, it's not entirely for the better. He's a possessive and protective lover to the marrow of his bones.]
(TW for unwanted sexual comments)
Mihawk knew the name 'Shantaro' quite well. Any time you told him a story from your adolescence that revolved around borderline illegal, unethical or simply reckless adventures, Shantaro was there. The little devil on your shoulder but as reliable as a true angel.
He, however, never expected you to run into Shantaro on the odd night when the two of you can go out. Comfortably basking in your presence, Mihawk is thoroughly enjoying your undivided attention.
Until.
You're suddenly rendered speechless as you notice something - someone - over his shoulder. A wide smile spreads across your face. Mihawk is unsure whether he should rejoice with how beautiful you look or seethe, knowing that another person dared to distract you from him.
"It's Shantaro!" you squeal excitedly. "I'm sorry, love, I'll be just a moment. I haven't seen her in ages!"
Mihawk doesn't even try to stop you as you make your way through the crowd at the lounge. His watchful gaze follows your steps as you approach a stringy woman in a silver dress. A hurricane of black curls sits on top of her head. Her piercing, grey eyes notice you, suddenly widening with both surprise and happiness. The two of you engulf each other in a bone-crushing hug, silently exchanging feelings of longing towards the closest friend from younger years.
The swordsman's night, however, is about to get even worse as he hears someone behind him whisper:
"She's a minx, that foxy wife of yours."
He turns around with his jaw and fists clenched. Mihawk's enraged gaze meets the face of an amused man who is casually sipping on his drink. There's a glint in the stranger's eyes that makes the swordsman's skin crawl - he wanted to get under Dracule's skin.
"Don't look so surprised," the stranger reprimands him. The man must have mistaken Mihawk's baffled expression at the bold words for genuine surprise that someone put two and two together. Truthfully, he couldn't care less whether people know that he's married. "Many pirates get hard fantasising about having their way with the Warlord's wife." Judging by the way the man licks his lips and hides a certain hunger behind his eyes, it's clear he's part of the aforementioned group. "But the Warlord himself? Unfortunately for him, she turns him soft," he drones the word as though it's a serious insult.
"Yes, she does," Mihawk answers slowly.
The events that followed happened exceptionally fast: Mihawk reached for the stranger's neck and slammed the man's head against the bar counter. Curiously, people happening to be in their vicinity carry on as though nothing bizarre is happening - they are smart enough not to get in Dracule Mihawk's way, especially when he is visibly upset.
Blood is gushing from the strange man's forehead, his eye already beginning to swell and change colour. The swordsman tilted his victim's head back just enough to lean down and growl. "Which is why I'm going to kill you much faster than you deserve for your offence."
Mihawk glances in your direction. You're still occupied, excitedly telling Shantaro about the years after you've last met her.
He'll be done before you notice him gone.
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lancestrollsgf · 2 months
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# THE BETTER NORRIS ! F1 GRID X ADOPTED NORRIS! READER, SMAU
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introduction master list request list
part one, part two, part three.
# WARNINGS : cussing, i know nothing about the parents of lando so everything is fictional. lowercase intended, spelling errors (english isn’t my first language). lando's actual siblings are not really mentioned in this since I don't know anything about them. reader hitchhikes. an excessive usage of emojis such as “🙄, 🤫, 😝, 😭,😊,😉”. reader is 17 in the story btw (the age isn’t really mentioned so i guess you can imagine it however you want)
# SUMMARY: the adventures of the formula one driver lando norris adopted sibling, y/n norris.
# AUTHORS NOTE : this is my first smau (that i’m posting). there’s no meaning behind this story i really just wanted to make it for fun. backstory for how reader (you) were adopted is not explained. reader is kinda of portrayed as bisexual, sorry only like three times. pretend lando is a soccer/football fan (and likes messi). some of these scenarios/comments actually happened to face claim.
# FACE CLAIM : marian guevara/theatomicbabe on instagram (i love her so much)
VOTE FOR FUTURE LOVE INTEREST (now closed)
— instagram !
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 529,289 others
thebetternorris visited jamaica once again, spent every moment with the children and made memorial memories that i will remember forever, thank you @junglenonprofit for making this event happen🤍🇯🇲
landonorris: very cool hair style in the last photo is that your new look?
-> thebetternorris: maybe it is. you should also try finding a new look instead of looking like a washed up mop you have on your head that you call curls
-> carlossainz55: ay no, she got you with that one 🤣
-> landonorris: I WAS LITERALLY BEING NICE. WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME??
landonorris: since when did you go to jamaica???
-> thebetternorris: since two days ago, man keep up with the times 🙄🙄
maxverstappen1: y/n does your mom know you’re in jamaica??
-> thebetternorris: no.. don’t tell her, she doesn’t have instagram 🤫
-> ciscawauman: y/n norris.. you said you were with friends for this week?
-> thebetternorris: hi mama 😊😊 im with bsf/n. but im on my way home! (max emilian verstappen this is all your fault, im coming after you)
-> maxverstappen1: sorry y/n.. hi mrs.wauman!
-> ciscawauman: hello max 👋 y/n please don’t threaten someone through comments
username1: y/n’s interactions with the drivers will never fail to make me laugh
username2: i love you y/n!!!
username3: will forever appreciate how y/n is not pr trained. her posts and comments heal me
-> mclaren: that will change very soon, sadly.
-> thebetternorris: @.mclaren YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE
lewishamilton: good work, little norris, very proud of you, keep doing good in the world 🥰
-> thebetternorris: I LOVE U SIR LEWIS
-> lewishamilton: love you too
-> landonorris: lewis please ignore her
username4: y/n’s reply to lewis’ comment is so real
username5: the third picture is so cute 🥹
view all 5201 comments
april 21, 2024 (dates are for the post above ^^)
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,201 others
thebetternorris 🍸🪩🌃🍾
landonorris: who is that guy in the last photo?
-> thebetternorris: i have no clue, i js chose it because i looked good. i think he was trynna lure me into a cult?
-> landonorris: WHAT?? CALL ME RIGHT NOW
username4: you can always rely on y/n to never disappoints with her outfits 😫😫
oscarpiastri: how come you never invite me to party out with you?
-> thebetternorris: because you steal all the girls and guys too 😕😕 also you’re too old
-> oscarpiastri: i’m barely 23??? and thank you or sorry idk man, you confuse me
username6: y/n’s life is so entertaining
username7: i wanna be like y/n when i grow up
username8: my goal in life is to party like y/n does
view all 6229 comments
april 25, 2024
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, girl3, and 786,929 others
thebetternorris no caption 🌞 👤: @.girl1 @.girl2 @.girl3 @.guy1
girl3: i had so much fun y/n see you soonnn
-> thebetternorris: me too! see you soon 😊😊
-> landonorris: y/n what is this???? what do you mean see you soon???? ANSWER MY CALLS Y/N
landonorris: who are those girls and guy on the last two photos???
-> charles_leclerc: leave your sister alone, as if you weren’t doing crazy stuff this week either 🤣
-> thebetternorris: @.landonorris they have names you know, you shouldn’t just call them “those girls”. i thought mama taught you better. 🤨🤨
-> landonorris: @thebetternorris sorry..?? but you didn’t answer the question.. also please @charles_leclerc don’t expose my doings of this week onto the internet
username9: you’re the loml in a another universe 😔
-> thebetternorris: why not this universe 😉
-> danielriccardo: damn little norris has more rizz than her brother 😭 @.landonorris
-> landonorris: why do i keep getting attacked 💔
username10: having the caption as “no caption” is having a caption
-> thebetternorris: 🤓🤓
username11: does y/n like girls cause that third photo is a bit suspicious LMAOO
-> username12: i think so, especially because of her response to oscar's comment on her previous post
view all 3620 comments
april 27, 2024
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liked by landonorris, newyorkcityfc, and 887,292 others
thebetternorris thank you @.newyorkcityfc for inviting me to document the New York City fc vs charlotte game. visiting the new york city fc game made me want to try out soccer, turns out it might be time that i change career path 😝
landonorris: you’re in new york??? since when. and @.newyorkcityfc just invited you???
-> thebetternorris: since two days ago and is that an insult?
-> landonorris: who are you staying with?
-> thebetternorris: man stop asking so many questions 😕
charles_leclerc: weren’t you in jamaica like less than a week ago?
-> thebetternorris: weren’t you in china less than a week ago? why you judging where im traveling, i don’t judge you. you literally fly somewhere each week for your go karting 🙄
username13: y/n’s post are so unpredictable each time 😭 she was just helping children in jamaica and is now at a soccer game in nyc
-> thebetternorris: gotta keep y’all on your toes 🤫
-> username13: toes 🤤
-> thebetternorris: NAH GTFO LMAOOO
username14: y/n becoming a soccer player when??
username15: all of the norris siblings are so talented
view all 2928 comments
april 29, 2024
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 997,929 others
thebetternorris miami grand prix day 2 & day 3 🤙. found out some guy with the same last name as me won? idk but congrats @.landonorris
username16: dang her brother just won his first race and she doesn’t even make a post about him?
-> username17: for real, like everyone congratulated him right after but not even his own sister
-> username18: @.username17 well she is adopted 🤣
username19: it was so fun meeting you y/n!!!
-> thebetternorris: thank you pretty
username20: thank you for the water y/n 😊😊
-> thebetternorris: of courseee, had to give you that rich voss water 😉😉
-> landonorris: you gave a stranger water?? when?? you were with me the whole time???
-> thebetternorris: hey man you gotta start appreciating the people that support you, he was a worker ✊🏼
username21: hey i was the guy you were signing “way 2 sexy” with lolll
-> thebetternorris: AYY MY MANNN, i posted u on tiktok look at it 😉
jamescharles: omg i met you!! you’re gorgeous 🥰
-> thebetternorris: JAMESS HEYYY, i put you in my tiktok 🤙🤙
username22: omg you hugged me, remember i picked you up 😭
-> thebetternorris: I REMEMBER YOUU, that hug was great thanks man i needed that 🫵🏼 posted a full tiktok abt you
username23: your first outfit is so art teacher-coded
-> thebetternorris: is this a compliment or?? thank you though 😭
-> landonorris: @.username23 THATS WHAT I TOLD HER
landonorris: the number of people commenting that they met you is insane. @thebetternorris
-> thebetternorris: what can i say i'm js that guy 😼
view all 6282 comments
may 5, 2024
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,000,010 others
thebetternorris congrats to @.landonorris for winning your first grand prix, in america 🦅🇺🇸, i’m so so proud! turns out having an adopted sister isn't so bad for your racing career after all 😜. btw to everyone in the comments section getting their gears all tangled because I didn't congratulate him sooner, chill out. I was busy practicing my own racing skills. yk, just in case he needs some real competition 😴 sorry @.maxverstappen1. i’m so proud of you, i'm forever grateful that i got picked from the “bin” i was found according to you 18 years ago, and it resulted in me being your sister :) 👤: @.landonorris @.oscarpiastri
landonorris: thank you for the congratulations, but did you really have to use those photos of me?
-> thebetternorris: damn you got your congrats just be grateful man 🙄
oscarpiastri: so this is why lando was crying, btw thank you for using a good photo of me
-> thebetternorris: OSCAR ARE YOU SERIOUS. @.landonorris YOU CRIED?? LMFAOOO
-> landonorris: @.oscarpiastri YOU SNITCH.
maxverstappen1: thank goodness you’re not a f1 driver, you’d be some real competition. we need to try go karting together soon 👍🏼
-> thebetternorris: i know this is a joke but thank u max 😔 we should go karting soon so i can beat you at it 😈
-> username24: i would pay to see y/n kart against max
username25: i don't even know anything about f1 but this made me tear up
username26: y/n getting hate for not congratulating her brother is insane
username27: people getting mad about y/n not congratulating lando as if they know anything about them
username28: y/n was one of the first people to congratulate lando, yall are hating a literal kid for smth so little 💀
view all 4593 comments
may 7, 2024
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liked by landonorris, leomessi, 1,102,920 others
thebetternorris pov that one unemployed friend on a tuesday (saturday). thank you @.mles for the invite and for letting me meet the goat @.leomessi 🩷🩷
joyboy: finally found someone that is everywhere like me
-> thebetternorris: paris fashion week next 😉?
-> landonorris: NO???
username29: IS THAT LIONEL MESSI??
-> thebetternorris: that’s literally oomf what are you talking abt 🙄
ueername30: y/n is literally everywhere but home
username31: y/n's smile 🥰🥰
carlossainz55: Real Madrid CF>>>
-> thebetternorris: carlos get outta here 😕😕
username32: te encantaría ser un hombre nunca lo vas a ser y eso es lo que te jode (you’d love to be a man and you’ll never be a man and that fucks with you)
-> thebetternorris: @.username32 me encanta ser mujerrr (i love being a womann)
-> username32: @thebetternorris pues lo disimulas fatal (well you hide it well)
-> thebetternorris: @.username32 que es ser mujer para ti? (what is being a woman to you?)
-> username33: SHE GOT YOU THERE 💀@.username32
landonorris: you meeting messi before me insane 😔
leomessi: gracias por tu apoyo 🩷 que chistoso la caption 🤣 (thank you for your support 🩷 how funny the caption is)
-> landonorris: oh you’re joking.
-> thebetternorris: @.leomessi 🩷🩷 (i’m so normal abt this..)
username33: i wanna be y/n's camera man
username34: who is taking these pictures of y/n
-> thebetternorris: for this game, some guy named jarvis took these photos idk but we're homies now
-> landonorris: WHO IS JARVIS???
view all 12920 comments
june 5, 2024
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,293,021 others
thebetternorris i look sunburnt, swear it's just the lights 👤: bustarhymes
bustarhymes: it was nice meeting you little norris
-> thebetternorris: it was great meeting you man, your music is great
danielriccardo: mate i think you need a new cameraman because most of these are blurry...
-> thebetternorris: my pictures look better than yours, you're letting your jealousy show
landonorris: nah bro how did you meet busta rhymes before me.
-> thebetternorris: because i'm better than you
username35: you dead ass look like han jisung omg
-> thebetternorris: thank you, idk who that is but i get that a lot 😭
username34: y/n looks so much like young miko it’s insane
charles_leclerc: you look scary in the first picture
-> thebetternorris: i saw your paparazzi picture from the beach, your shoulders look scarier, learn how to put on sunscreen 😬
username36: y/n’s style is so 🥰
view all 5934 comments
june 30, 2024
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,304,393 others
thebetternorris back at the big apple 🍎🏙️
itsyoungmiko: hi twinn
-> thebetternorris: hey twin, we should meet up soon
lancestroll: how do you travel everywhere?
-> thebetternorris: walking and hitchhiking
-> lancestroll: hitchhiking? be safe norris
-> thebetternorris: yea hitchhiking. not all of us have private planes that our daddy pays for🙄(just joking, love u @lawerence_stroll pls give me money)
-> lancestroll: your brother literally flies private. please don't ask my dad for money 😭
lawerence_stroll: hello y/n, how much money do you need?
-> thebetternorris: HI MR.STROLL, thank you for the offer I was just joking, you're so nice. see you at the next gp 😊
username37: who is that on the last photo?
-> thebetternorris: THATS ME. LMFAOOO
username38: ain't no way you're in new york city rn, you were in florida a day ago.
-> thebetternorris: that's what hitchhiking is for, duh
-> username38: you dead ass hitchhiked a ride from florida to new york city. that's like 20 hours...
-> thebetternorris: “that’s like 20 hours…” ☝🏼🤓
username39: are you gonna go to the british gp?
-> thebetternorris: yes sadly 💔 lando is forcing me against my will 😕
oscarpiastri: don’t forget my keychain pls
-> thebetternorris: ofc man ill give it to you soon 🤙
zhouguanyu24: very cool pictures y/n and cool outfit
-> thebetternorris: HI ZHOUUU, i got you something for you and sweet corn 🥰 thank u for the compliment 😙
username40: future mom lore is gonna go insane
-> thebetternorris: 😈
landonorris: y/n are you ever not in the US. come back home..
-> thebetternorris: USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅
-> logansargeant: USA USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅
-> landonorris: @.logansargeant logan please don’t lure my sister into your cult that you americans have
-> logansargeant: @.landonorris we don’t have a cult in america 😭 well… don’t quote me on that 😔
-> username41: “you americans” is crazy 💀
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july 1, 2024
comment to be tagged in the next part 🤫🤫
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hanafubukki · 8 months
Text
Happy Birthday Malleus Draconia 💚💕
Summary: You kidnap Malleus Draconia.
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Sebek knew it would be a tiring day when he saw a letter placed on his wardrobe table.
It had decorative little crocodiles and squirrels all over with his name written in your writing.
He could already feel a headache incoming.
He’ll wonder how you snuck into his room to place said letter later, he was more interested in the message you had to say.
“Dear Knight,
Your Lord has been kidnapped. He is mine for the day.
Mwah~
YN”
Sebek rushed out of his room, running to the Diasomnia waiting room where his lord would sit and enjoy tea at this time.
…only to be met with a giggling Lilia and a napping Silver.
“YN!”
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“Did you have to tease Sebek?”
“It’s all in good fun Tsunotaro.”
“I see.”
While Malleus ponders your answer, you plopped down right next to him on the couch.
“What does this…kidnapping entail?”
You could tell Malleus was humoring you. He found this whole situation funny and yet intriguing.
“For you? Just sit there look pretty and enjoy all the snacks, games, and movies I have.”
Malleus laughed lowly, “YN, I do have duties to fulfill. I can’t just sit here.”
You shrugged, “One day without work won’t bring down your dorm. Besides, all work and no play make dragons go cranky.”
Malleus laughed freely and you joined him this time, “Is that so? Then I shall join in this activity with you.”
You laid the nearby comforter over you and Malleus before starting your T.V.
It would be a good day; you would make sure of it.
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“This warrior does not speak?”
“Kind of. He talks he’s just not voice acted, but he does make sounds when you attack with him.”
“Interesting. A silent and courageous warrior who will save his kingdom and the princess.”
“Reminds you of someone?”
“This Link reminds me of Silver. They share many similar qualities.”
You joked, “Are you the princess then?”
“I am a prince, am I not?” Malleus replied, before softly continuing, “and Silver has saved me, from myself.”
You bumped your shoulder with his, “That’s love for you.”
“Yes, it is.”
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“That crocodile and that pirate…”
“Funny, isn’t it?”
“Yes, especially as Kingscholar dressed as one during Halloween.”
“Does the crocodile remind you of Sebek?”
The glint in Malleus' eyes answered your question.
You can only imagine Sebek's reaction if he knew, “Well with the way Sebek is always barking at Leona, I can't blame you for thinking it.”
Ah, you were going to hold this over Sebek's head forever.
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“Those fairies should have never been given the child.”
“Yeah…”
“They haven’t properly fed her, even Lilia knew to feed a baby!”
“Yeah.”
“She almost fell off the cliff!”
“I know. They suck.”
You tugged at Malleus’ hair, “At least she had someone to take care of her, two of them in fact.”
Malleus calmed down knowing exactly to whom you referred, “Yes, those days were filled with laughter and warmth even amidst the chaos. How…nostalgic.”
Malleus leaned towards you; a mischievous glint in his eyes, it reminded you of a certain pink-streaked fae, “Want to hear an embarrassing story grandmother told me about Lilia?”
“Yes! I’m all ears!”
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You watched as Tsunotaro enjoyed Toothless and Hiccup's adventures.
You knew he would like this series.
You wondered how Sam had the trilogy.
…you would question him thoroughly later.
You were content to watch Tsunotaro be happy.
His family is never far from his thoughts as he is never far from theirs.
You felt happy to be part of his family.
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“YN, is there a reason to why we are making cupcakes this late at night?”
He didn’t know.
You hid your smile as you put the tray of goodies into the oven.
Malleus must have enjoyed his day if he forgot why tonight would be special.
“Anytime is a good time for cupcakes, just like how you can have ice cream even during winter.”
“I thought it was easier for human’s teeth to decay due to late night sugary treats?”
“We’ll be fine! Just make sure to brush your teeth and don’t tell Trey -senpai.”
You went over to the nearby drawer. The confetti poppers were there as planned, just a few more minutes before the time came, so you snuck them into your pocket discreetly.
“Let’s go play more Zelda.”
You and Malleus moved towards the lounge; you eyed the hallway clock on the way.
Less than a minute.
You took out the poppers from your pocket.
“Malleus?”
“Yes?”
You pulled the poppers out just as he entered the ramshackle lounge.
3…2…1
“Happy Birthday (Lord) Malleus!”
Malleus was shocked as confetti rained on him from all sides.
Lilia, Silver, Sebek, and you surrounded him as the day turned over.
His surprised face broke into a wide smile before an unrestrained joyous laughter filled the lounge.
What a beautiful start to today.
The day Malleus Draconia was born.
A day filled with endless love.
Happy Birthday Malleus.
Resounded affectionately in all the hearts of everyone present.
May you always be filled with happiness and love.
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Bonus:
Silver came to you as you watch Lilia bear hug Malleus. It was funny how someone so petite wrapped all four limbs on someone so tall.
Silver hesitated.
You knew.
“He baked a cake, didn’t he?”
Silver sighed, “Yes. We tried to stop him.”
You laughed and shook your head.
“It’s okay. Toxic waste it might be, but it is something Lilia made with him in mind. Malleus will love it nonetheless.”
You bumped shoulders with Silver, whispering, “We made cupcakes.”
Silver’s grateful smile had you hugging him.
No one will get food poisoning today, not on your watch.
You hoped.
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☺️🌺🌸💚
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fenkko · 1 year
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one who had dreams of being a hero
This comic is based on Story 3, which speaks of his hobby of ice fishing originating from the days he'd go out with his father on the ice, 'accompanied by his father's unending tales of adventure,' and dream of being the protagonist.
Nowadays, he keeps up the hobby, though only as a method of training... and it seems he fishes alone.
I thought a lot about fairytales and stories told to children -- how they are used to impart lessons and shape a child's growing sense of morality.
I think these stories were Childe's father telling him what kind of man he hoped his son would become.
In Story 5, 'his father had no choice but to hand his beloved son over for conscription into the Fatui' in an attempt to discipline his temper, but was disappointed when Childe continued ascending the ranks, further and further from the gentle boy he was..
His father named him after the hero Ajax. Is he still disappointed in the path Childe has taken? Does he still see his son in the man he sees before him? Does Childe feel in himself the chasm between who he dreamed of becoming and who he is now?
It's interesting, that fairytales should often have a very strict good/evil morality. Childe professes he has no use for such things, and will gladly become a mindless weapon so long as he can continue honing himself for battle. And yet, has he truly given up on being human?
For a Harbinger, Childe is oddly principled, preferring straightforward battles without deceit. He retains a sort of moral code, reluctant to involve those who are defenseless in his plans.
And of course, he deeply cherishes his family. What sort of weapon has a family? Why does he cling so desperately to this identity as a defender of childhood dreams, of being his sister Tonia's knight?
Perhaps his own dream of being a hero died long ago, but a part of him still recognizes the tragedy of it and maybe... in some way, is still trying.
This is somewhat of a companion piece to my Scara comic "one who has given up on being saved". Childe, unable to live up to his childhood ideals of heroism, and Scara, whose pleas for help went unanswered.
A failed hero, and someone who never had one.
ARGHH yknow it drives me nuts. I haven't known peace since I started thinking about it.
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primofate · 1 year
Text
Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up
Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.
Disclaimer at the end of the post
Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader
Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha
Aether
Sister issues. Enough said.
He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.
Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.
Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?
"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"
Albedo
Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.
It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.
The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.
How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?
"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"
Alhaitham
Too much of a nonchalant attitude.
He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.
Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.
Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.
will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.
"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"
"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"
"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"
Ayato
entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.
It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.
All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.
"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"
"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"
Baizhu
because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.
He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.
Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.
While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.
"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"
Bennett
We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.
You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!
But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.
"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."
will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.
"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"
runs away before you can even get a word in.
Chongyun
Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.
So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.
"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"
Cyno
his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.
A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.
This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.
Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.
Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"
From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.
"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"
"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"
Dainsleif
Has not moved on from his past.
Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.
When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.
"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.
"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"
He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"
Diluc
is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.
Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.
The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.
Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.
Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.
"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"
He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.
"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.
Gorou
worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.
You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.
Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.
You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.
Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.
All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.
Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.
Heizou
is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.
Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.
So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.
You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.
*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.
"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."
"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.
You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"
Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.
Itto
Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.
Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.
Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!
Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!
What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.
He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.
"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.
"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.
Kaeya
Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.
Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.
He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.
He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.
He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.
It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"
It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.
"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"
"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.
"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"
He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.
Kaveh
Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.
No he doesn't quite realize this.
The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.
The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.
You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.
"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"
"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"
"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"
"Then STOP helping them!"
"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"
"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"
"...I would think that's nice of you,"
You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"
Kazuha
He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.
He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.
Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.
It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.
"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.
"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"
You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"
Lyney
because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.
Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.
Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.
You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.
The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.
You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.
So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.
Neuvillette
Had a whole brainrot for this man:
Part 1
Part 2
Scaramouche
surprisingly it's not his anger issues.
It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.
There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.
You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.
It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.
The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.
"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.
There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...
"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"
Tartaglia
This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.
Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.
The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.
And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.
It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.
"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.
It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"
He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.
Thoma
This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.
Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.
He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.
"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"
Tighnari
Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.
Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.
He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.
Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.
He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.
The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.
"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.
There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"
You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.
"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"
He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"
"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."
Xiao
Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.
The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.
He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.
Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.
When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?
"Let me help you, Xiao,"
"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.
You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.
Zhongli
He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.
This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.
It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.
There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.
He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.
"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"
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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)
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Solomon who gives off raw humanity after you actually get to know him. He's just a lovesick, scarily powerful, fool. He'll sit there for hours and ramble about magic and TSL and pacts and his work to you if you let him. Ask him about his star obsession, urge him to tell you stories about his travels and findings and adventures. But please, please remember that he's more than just some immortal sorcerer capable of great things, hold him from time to time, sit and just exist with him, please.
Let Solomon be human with you. He's so used to carrying the weight of humanity on his shoulders, sometimes he forgets he's only human, too. He might be fun and he might be strong and he might be wise, but it's been too long since he's had someone hold his hand and glide their thumb over his knuckles.
Please let him ramble about the rain or the way trees creak or the way stars twinkle like they're laughing. Please let him take you to different places and get excited with you over things he's purposefully never sought the answer to in order to keep a part of himself curious. Please sit with him in the silence of each other and just let him let his guard down.
Solomon who wants to be human with you. Solomon who is human with you.
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