#i just want to go a day without feeling so tired and without constant headaches and without crying Please | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dandylovesturtles · 3 months

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Decided to write a quick little something for @whumperless-whump-event Day 4: chronic pain/"I'm used to it."

featuring, of course, Sidelined Leo!

like I said before, since it's disability pride month I'd like to do a few things for the Sidelined AU, so hopefully I will find time for more as the days go. For now, I hope you enjoy this!

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Leo can tell it's going to be a bad day the moment he wakes up.

The pain in his arms and legs has grown from it's constant dull thrum to a more present burn, and there's a pinch between his eyes that tells him a headache is on the way. Really, he's not surprised; the last few days have been really good. He even went out on a mission two days ago, and did a little skateboarding yesterday. It stands to reason that his body has crashed out on him.

Sometimes he feels angry and bitter about it. Today, he just feels a sort of resigned acceptance. And that means maybe it won't be such a bad day after all.

He hits the button on the side of the bed so it bends him into a reclined position, then fumbles around on his side table until his hand lands on his pill organizer. He should probably text someone to bring him water, but it feels like a pain, so he dry swallows them one by one and just resolves not to mention doing that to Dad or Raph.

Then he finally blinks the sleep out of his eyes and looks around his room and... darn it, his chair isn't here. Where'd he even leave it...

His memory is a complete blank on that one, so he sighs and clears his throat.

"Hey, Shell-man?"

There's only a second of silence before Shelldon's voice echoes from who even knows where. Donnie rigged his new room with more electronics than Leo will ever know about.

"S'up bro?"

"You know where my chair is?" he asks, like Shelldon can't track it instantly.

"You left it in the arcade, dude," comes the answer. "Want me to wheel it over?"

Yeah, no way he's getting himself to the arcade today. "Sure, thanks, Shelly."

"No problem, dude!"

Leo lets his head flop back on his pillows while he wants for his chair to be delivered. He fumbles around for his phone this time and takes a look at his reminders.

6:00 PM: Concert with Mikester

"Crap," he mutters, closing his eyes. Right, that yokai hip-hop group Mikey wanted to go see. Leo had promised he'd go with him, but he doubts he'll be able to do it now.

It's not that big a deal. Raph or Donnie will probably go with him if Mikey makes big enough puppy eyes at them. It's just, Leo had been kinda excited about it, too...

The dark buzz that heralds his anxiety flares up, and he sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slow. He doesn't want this day to turn terrible. He needs to relax and accept the things he can't change, like April always says. Even when it sucks.

There's a whir of electronics that signals the arrival of his chair. Leo waits until it parks itself next to his bed, then he swings his legs over the bed and stands up just long enough to sit down in the chair again. Even that leaves him feeling a little winded, but he doubts his arms could have handled the transfer so he doesn't bother trying.

He wheels around his room until he finds his big comfy unicorn hoodie, then drives out into the rest of the lair, making his way up the ramp to the kitchen. He can smell breakfast cooking, and hear Raph's voice.

"Morning fam," he says as he comes in, trying to keep his voice upbeat even though he already feels tired.

"Morning Leo!" Mikey echoes, turning around with a whole plate of waffles. His smile falters a little when he sees the chair and the hoodie. "Oof. Flare up?"

"Yeah," he admits, steering his chair into the empty part of the kitchen table. Mikey sets the waffle plate down, and without having to be asked Raph starts fixing some for Leo, with blueberries on top.

It took work for them both to find the line between helping and babying, but they're better at this now. Leo doesn't mind Raph helping him out this way, especially because he'd rather not make a mess of the kitchen table.

"Mikey, can you grab my fat fork?"

"It has a name," says a tired voice behind him, and Leo smirks as Donnie comes around the side and makes for the coffee machine.

"I just used it. It's the fat fork."

"It's a GeniusBuilt Secure Grip Adjustable Fork-"

"I'm not saying all that."

Donnie huffs. Mikey snickers, swinging around him to deliver the fork with the thick grip to Leo. He has another set with a loop that can secure to his hand if he needs it, but this one is fine for now.

"Here!

"Thanks Angelo."

"Did you take your meds this morning?" Raph asks.

"Yes, Mom," says Leo, rolling his eyes as he cuts off a bite of waffle.

"Really? 'Cause Raph didn't hear you ask anyone to bring you water-"

"I had some leftover Gatorade in my room," Leo lies quickly.

"Uh-huh." Raph looks at him skeptically. "Leo, you know taking pills without water hurts your throat."

"Meh meh meh, you'll hurt your throat," Leo repeats in a mocking voice. Raph reaches over like he's going to cuff Leo on the head, then seems to rethink it and steals some of his blueberries instead. "Hey!"

"You are all so noisy already," comes Splinter's voice, and he finally comes into the room to join them, wearing the robe he slept in. He looks up at Leo in his chair. "Are you in pain, Blue?"

Leo hums an affirmative. "It's not that bad, though," he adds, because it's not. Comparatively.

Now it's his dad's turn to look skeptical. "Are you sure?"

Leo grimaces. "It's... a little worse than normal," he amends. "But I can handle it."

"Mmm..." Splinter walks off to get in his own seat. "Let us know if it gets worse."

"Yeah, yeah..."

The conversation moves on to other topics, up until Leo's wheelchair beeps at him. He groans, glancing down at the battery indicator, which is firmly in the red.

"You forgot to charge it, didn't you?" asks Donnie, looking amused.

"Shut up, I've been busy!" Leo snaps back.

"If you left it on the charger when you aren't using it then this wouldn't happen."

"Alright, anyone else have any criticisms for me today?" he says, except it comes out a shade too bitter and Donnie's grin falters.

Good job, Leon, way to be a dick. He winces, focusing again on his waffles. His arm is sore from the effort of eating and he wants to crawl back in bed and stay there, which is exactly the sort of attitude he's been trying to avoid.

"...I have the backup chair in the lab if you need it," says Donnie. A peace offering.

"Thanks," says Leo, returning it.

So after breakfast, Donnie helps him swap chairs. His main one is put on the charger and he wheels himself to the living room with the backup, then calls for Raph.

"Think you can help me get comfy, big guy?" he asks.

"Of course," says Raph with a grin. "What do you want?"

It's nice that he asks now, instead of assuming.

Leo directs him to help him onto the couch, then Raph gets him his fluffy blue blanket to cover him up. Even though he took his meds, he can feel the pain radiating at his hips and knees and he guesses he's going to need more later. He sets an alarm on his phone and settles in with a Jupiter Jim flick to fall asleep to.

He's not out yet when he hears the pad of feet, then feels the couch dip as Mikey sits next to him.

"Hey Leo," he says softly, and Leo gives a hum to let him know he's still awake. "You think... you're gonna feel up for the concert tonight?"

Oh right. Shoot. It had already slipped Leo's mind, and now he feels guilty all over again.

He opens his eyes and tilts his head so he can see Mikey. "I don't think so. I'm sorry."

"You don't gotta apologize!" says Mikey quickly. "I'm sorry you're having a rough day."

"It's fine," says Leo. "I'm used to it."

"I'm still sorry," says Mikey firmly. He gets up, then comes over so he can give Leo a very awkward couch hug. "I wish you didn't have to hurt," he says, sincerely.

Leo leans into the hug. Feels the dark buzz of anxiety ebb away.

"Hey, it's alright. All you guys make it easier."

Mikey beams at that, bouncing back up. "Hey, I know," he says. "I'll get Donnie to help me set up a sweet livestream so you can see the concert from right here!"

They don't have to go to all that trouble for him. But Leo looks up at his little brother's shining smile and can't say no.

"That'd be really cool," he says, and Mikey claps his hands.

"Yes! Okay, I'll go get Dee and we'll get on it!"

He races away. Leo chuckles, curling up under his blanket.

Maybe it won't be such a bad day after all.

#rottmnt #dandy fanfiction #sidelined au #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #rise donnie #whumperless whump event #day 4 #once again there is minimal proofreading on this one haha

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shalotttower · 9 months

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The Devil Is a Gentleman

Title: The Devil Is a Gentleman

Fandom: Hunter x Hunter

Summary: You wake up in the middle of the night with a headache.

Word count: 800+

Characters: Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader

Notes: Yandere Chrollo, captive Reader, my head is murdering me so I wanted some soft Chrollo stuff.

You shift under the covers and for a moment it seems that maybe this state of half sleep, half consciousness is here to stay. Just for a bit, until you slide all the way back into a dream, where the dull throb in your skull doesn't matter. No such luck; angry blurred dots start swarming behind your eyelids and the longer you lie there, the more evident it becomes that sleep isn't coming.

3 AM.

The red numbers from the alarm clock glow way too intensely in the dark. It's quiet. Chrollo's breath tickles your shoulder. No matter the position, he somehow manages to do this every single time - wrap himself around you like it's no tomorrow, with tangled legs and chest pressed to your back. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes sickly comforting, but not now. There's a faint feeling of nausea in your throat, the whole world is spinning and swaying from side to side even though you're lying still.

Sharing a bed is a recent development. Previously the floor was your choice, but two weeks ago Chrollo simply carried your sleeping body to the mattress. You woke up trapped between him and soft pillows, then the pattern repeated two times, four, six, until it became clear that this arrangement was going to stick.

Carefully, inch by inch, you wiggle out of his embrace. An awful taste coats your tongue, clings to the palate - not something you expected upon waking, but not unusual either.

The kitchen light is bright and unpleasant. It stabs right through your eyes without remorse, making you promptly settle for a dimmer one above the stove. One cabinet after another, the fridge - no pills. Of course, why would Chrollo keep anything like that lying around? You probably have to wake him up for medicine, but it's honestly the least tempting scenario. You don't want to talk to Chrollo, don't want to ask him for help, don't want him to see you in pain or sick.

So you brew a cup of coffee and hope that the nausea plaguing your throat will eventually subside. What you should know by now, however, is that Chrollo doesn't need more than you breathing wrong in order to wake up.

"Dear?"

His voice has a slight raspy edge to it.

You glance over your shoulder and see his figure standing at the door frame. The light from the hallway throws a shadow cutout across the floor, and it's the only time beside after shower you ever see him all mussed hair, loose pants and, of course, no shirt. You suspect its absence has some relation to the attempts at wooing you which range from subtle to not so subtle these days.

You make a non-committal sound.

"It's 3 AM," Chrollo says and steps into the kitchen. "What are you doing up?"

His fingers brush a strand of hair away from your neck, linger there, feather-light and warm. You take a small sip of coffee.

The pulsing in your skull feels like someone decided to tap a small hammer against your brain. Well, he's up, so might as well do something.

"Headache," you say and press your forehead to the cool marble of the counter. It feels nice for a short moment.

Chrollo doesn't respond. He does place a hand on your nape though, thumb drawing circles, massaging the tension there. It's so peculiar. His tenderness leaves marks wherever it goes - light trails on your skin, hands on your forearms - a constant reminder that in this current reality he's everywhere and everything.

'Stop,' you want to say, but instead a quiet "mm" comes out. Maybe you're too tired to muster up any spite. He takes the cup out of your hand and sets it aside with a quiet clink.

"How bad?"

"Bad. Don't get too close," you warn. "I feel like throwing up."

He does anyway, and wraps an arm around your waist. Chrollo knows very well that you'd rather jump into boiling oil than lean on him out of your own volition, maybe that's why he uses every given opportunity to hold you.

"You should have woken me up," his words are muffled, lips pressed against your temple. Chrollo smells of shampoo, sheets and himself. "I'll get you something from the pharmacy later, but for now you should try and sleep, dear."

Then you're up in the air, carried out of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" you frown, fingers gripping the muscles of his arm.

He hums something akin to a simple melody, the devil. "Taking you back to bed, where you can keep being miserable with more comfort."

This time you don't protest; the pillow has cooled down, and as soon as you lower your head on top of it, it feels like bliss. The bathroom door opens and closes, followed by quiet splashes of water. There's a pause before the mattress dips on your right.

Cold cloth covers your forehead.

"You should have woken me up," he repeats. "Next time do it, dear."

"Mm," is all you manage, when the bedside lamp clicks off, and then there're covers lifting, fingers rubbing your temples and a low hum somewhere above you.

#shalott fanfiction #yandere #hunter x hunter #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo lucifer x reader #hunter x hunter fanfic #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo lucilfer

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rockatanskette · 1 year

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Semi-related to my post on how human conservation practices, but I have a cold today, and it's got me thinking about biological altruism—the biological imperative to put other creatures ahead of yourself, to benefit the group.

When talking about possible interactions with other species, we talk a lot about humans being crazy and thrill-seeking and impossible to kill. Never use a warning shot as an incentive to keep humans out of a fight; it'll just make them angry. And that's true. But a valid criticism I've seen in the "Earth is a death world" community is that according to our understanding of evolution, every planet must be some form of death world. Competition fosters evolution—the wolf with sharper claws survives when its litter mates die. You can't reach space travel without some casualties along the way.

But the dog survives because it makes friends with the strange ape carrying a sharp stick. And the strange ape survives because it befriends the wolf. Underneath the death world is an inextricable and undeniable layer of the bond world; the love world; the world, together.

I imagine some worlds are not death worlds. They're peaceful and tranquil. I suspect there are worlds far more deadly than Earth, where the skies rain diamonds, harder than any substance we know with the species to match. And I imagine that they are united in their confusion at the duality of humankind.

Today is a great example: I have a cold, and I want someone to take care of me, but the people who would are immunocompromised, also sick, or live 8 hours away, respectfully. I also want no one within the walls of my apartment or I will eat them. I feel gross, I feel tired, and I don't want a single human being anywhere near me, even if they did bring soup.

In my constant scrolling through my phone today, I decided to look up why the hell I feel so bad—why everyone feels so bad when they're ill. And the answer surprised me. I always thought it was because your immune system is active, so it's using a lot of your energy. That is part of it. Another part is that your brain and body are communicating across the blood-brain barrier to fight the infection, which is rare and energetically expensive.

But that doesn't explain everything, and according to more current research, it could also be what's called the Eyam Hypothesis: that we feel so gross, so we instinctively isolate from other people. We're too tired to deal with others, and so we don't infect them. Misanthropy for the good of the species. Of course, it can also backfire: one of the criticisms of the Eyam Hypothesis is that humans also instinctively care for each other. If my brother has a headache, I drive to the store for Advil.

Personally, I think it's a little bit of both: biological altruism. Either way, the majority live on. The first thought I had this morning when I woke up wasn't "I feel gross" it was "there's no way I'm going to work today." And while that might not be everyone's first thought, you don't even have to be a particularly altruistic person to not want to leave your home or your bed when you're sick. It's inborn.

And so when the human named Ismail comes down with a case of the interstellar common cold, his alien friend Dyos grows very concerned. Ismail is usually intensely social, almost off-puttingly so. Some crew members joke about how his quarters are for sleeping and prayer only; if he's home alone? You should be worried. But when Dyos demands an answer to the severity of Ismail's malady, the other humans just nod knowingly.

"Nah, he's okay, the medics already cleared him. It's not a severe infection."

"But there are so many...fluids. And his body has changed color."

There is a moment of confusion there until they remember that Dyos's species can see in the infrared color spectrum.

"Nah, that's just a low-grade fever. It should break in the next couple days."

"But he doesn’t want to play chess today," Dyos insists.

"Ohhhh," says human Claudia, finally understanding. "No, that's normal. Humans don't like being around other people when they're sick, it's supposed to be one of the major evolutionary advantages. Protect your community from your illness and the genes live on."

"So we're just going to leave him alone?" Dyos is troubled by this. He can go for weeks without speaking to another life form, but he has seen Ismail grow despondent when unable to participate in social gathering.

"Oh, no," human Claudia says, laughing. "We're going to employ one of the other most longstanding human evolutionary advantages."

There are many to choose from and Dyos settles on, "middle age?"

"Sort of," human Claudia opens up a small shipping container and holds up a brown paper bag tied with a colorful ribbon. It glows brightly in Dyos's vision, almost as brightly as human Claudia's smile. "His nanni's hot soup, express delivery."

#i feel like this is the one that's going to get discourse and to that i say:#stop it i no feel good #we can talk about other human responses to disease when my skull goes back to being the right temperature #send good feelings the us postal service won't let my babushka send me soup #anyway #humans are human #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #earth is space australia #earth is a death world #earth is a bond world #lemme know if i forgot any of the main ones

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mvltisstuff · 1 year

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Hey there! Idk if you write stuff like this, but what about an Evan Buckley coma fic? When he’s trying to come back he finds out reader is pregnant, while in the coma, and then when he wakes up he tells her he knows. If not that’s totally okay! 💛

put a little love on me - e.b

summary: request:)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: this was so fun to write, i loved how creative this is!

sitting in the hospital room with maddie and the buckley parents, y/n’s red eyes had cried more tears than ever. watching buck swing between life and death had been one of the lowest points in her life. she’s faced bad things before, but this was hell. she had a strong hold on his hand, praying that he would breathe on his own.

she thinks back to a few nights before, casually sitting at home after days of feeling ill. her husband had been at work, and she had called out from constant headaches. her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

pulling out a box from the back of the cabinets, she took the test out and placed it on the counter. she waited for what felt like hours for the damn test to say a word or two. the flashing was intolerable on the small screen.

she was sitting on the cold tile of their bathroom, running her hand through her hair. she swears she’s a patient person, but this was completely different. she stared at the test before the one word had been displayed across the test. pregnant.

meanwhile, bucks head had been mixed with his imagined life. a confused mix of the life he always wished for as a boy, and the one now that he wouldn’t change for anything. everything he had known had changed, for worse and for better. he felt loved by his parents, but y/n was gone.

the ghost of himself had his eyes painted on his still body. he was ready to climb back into himself, wanting to be with his wife until the end. everything else wasn’t important in this version of his life. he looked over at his brother, who he had no clue of before the last few years. he was tired, he wanted to stop fighting but seeing y/n’s heartbroken self on the chair, how could he stop?

“you have everything you could imagine here,” his brother says.

“no i don’t, i have to go back,” buck tells him. “i need my wife, i need y/n.”

he turns around and spots her behind him. she had a bright smile on his face, and was holding a little boy in her arms. she had been laughing with this child, and her eyes were shining. buck stared at them, looking at the boy with the same light blue eyes and full, pink lips. he had a small grin grow on his face, as the boy looked at him and smiled. the second he blinked, they faded away.

buck didn’t even feel the need to look at his brother again. he knew that was his life that he just saw, his future. the feeling he felt in his heart was something that had never happened before.

without second guessing himself. buck smashed through the glass window of the false reality he had snuck into. on the other side, y/n watched as his chest abruptly rose and fell again, the monitor beeping steadily. a light sob of relief left her lips, her head falling down with the tears on her cheeks. the same with maddie, who had come over and gave her a massive hug. suddenly, the lump in her throat and the boulder in her chest had vanished. he was going to be ok. she lifted his hand with her own, kissing the matching rings.

after an agonizing wait, buck had opened his eyes and softly spoken back. his monotone expression had finally disappeared at the sight of the love of his life sitting next to him. he forced out a toothy grin at her. “welcome back, baby.”

buck didn’t know what to say, something felt different. he looked her up and down, and felt a rising anxiety in his chest. he knew that the lightning has changed him, and he’d never be the same, but there was still a gift hiding under all this. “i know,” he says with a raspy voice.

“what?”

“baby, i know,” he says, smiling once more. “i’m gonna be a dad, and you’re a mom. and we’re going to be perfectly ok.”

it was y/n’s turn to be speechless. she was still calculating how he would know in his head. she hasn’t told a soul, but the ecstasy of the moment had overwhelmed her. her eyes had become glossy for the millionth time, and she passionately kissed him. she nods before she speaks again.

“yeah, yeah we are, buck.”

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #athena grant #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley x reader #henrietta wilson #howie han #maddie buckley #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley fanfiction #evan buckley one shot

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ccraccz · 11 months

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Hiya! I saw your Heartsteel requests were open so I wanted to ask for headcanons of the Heartsteel boys with Fem!Reader who’s very sleepy. I mean like, constant naps during the day or sometimes they doze off and become forgetful. And maybe they’re a night owl so they’re constantly up gaming all night!

Night owl attraction

Characters: aphelios, ezreal, sett, kayn, k'sante, yone x Fem Reader

(Implide sauce)

Context: you're a night owl, sleeping here, napping there, but at night, when the sun is down, you live laugh love.

Aphelios

He's with you on this

Aphelios does most of his work at night time and usually takes naps throughout the day.

That was before becoming part of the band, where everyone is usually awake in the day time

So his sleep schedule is kinda (very) messed up.

But knowing you're also a night owl makes his life all the much more easier!

You will always be his excuse.

Naps on his bed? He's ready in the dark, arms wide open, in bed.

You forgot something at your place but are too tired to get it?

He's gone out to get it, don't fall asleep yet though

He'll join you soon!

At night time is were everything goes party rockin

You have your own little space.for gaming in his room you're that important!

He makes his music, has you listen to it and add some input, you play your games, and do you work

Easy as that!

Though, sometimes, he just wants to sleep with you when you have so much energy at night time

Especially on days the band has to go to events

He really wants to stay up with you but he really can't 😕

So most of the time you get your mobile games and play while he's laying on your chest

Or he'll get you tired in another way 😏

Ezreal

He would totally nap with you

But be quite sad that you're always napping when he has the most energy

He really loves to go on dates throughout the day and you always napping always makes him hold off on that

Poor beby

You both are total opposites

During the day he's energetic, you're sleepy

During the night time, your energetic, he's sleepy

Ince he tried sleeping through out the day and staying up at night

He'll never do that again

It gave him a giant headache since he wasn't used to doing that

So he learned that he should tell you the plans beforehand and write them down on a calendar beside the sink in your bathroom because he knows you'll forget

And he'll remind you every 1 hour

He doesn't mind that you nap and are forgetful because of that, but he's slightly peeved by it

He loves you too much to tell you that though

Though if he's incredibly tired at night and all he wants is to hug and sleep with you in his arms

He'll definitely do everything he can to get you tired

Even if it's slightly messy.

Sett

He would totally try to encourage you to wake up early and start your day

He doesn't understand why you're so active at night??

Like??? Huh???

He'd definitely ask you why you sleep so much during the day

Poor beby wants to know how to accommodate you and your likes and dislikes

If you want to wake up but just have trouble, so you just don't

Every day, he'll encourage you to get up with kisses and hugs and breakfast and more!

It'll be difficult at first but he understands, and he'll carry your around if you fall asleep anywhere.

If you don't want to fix it, like ezreal, sett would be a bit peeved but wouldn't do much about it

He lives you for who you are, but it's kinda difficult, literally being an early riser and a night owl couple

He totally understands after you ex0lain it to him but I think he'd feel left out when you're alway in bed and hes.always doing something else

Same thing your way, at night time he's always asleep, alone without you, and you're always gaming or working

He'd try his best and would definitely carry you around when you fall asleep somewhere though!!

Kayn

He'd be a total menace

Waking you up everytime you fall asleep because 'if he can't be asleep l, then you can't either!'

His words

You better have a good reason as to why you're still awake at 3 in the morning-

Oh, work? Understandable, get in bed as soon as possible though, tomorrow you have a date to go to and he wants you awake and alive during it!

Rhaast would totally try to control and wake you up in the most inhumane ways

Like throwing you into a full bathtub

But kayn is still a sweetheart so he won't let him do that.

Sometimes, all he wants to do is lay on your tits and fall asleep

But most of the time, you're working or playing games, and it's so annoying to him

So he tries to keep you awake at all times and have you sleep with him, which usually works!

Other times, he lets you sleep here and there because he knows you're trying your best, but it's just so difficult

And, uncommonly, he'll sleep with you during the day and night if you know what I mean 😏😏😏

K'sante

He's a bit like Sett

Not an early riser but doesn't send his day in bed like you

When he first notices, he asks you about it thinking something is wrong

If you want to work on it, he'll definitely help out

Waking up early, early jogs, cold showers

All along with morning kisses and hugs

He'd, at first, would feel so guilty about waking you, but it's for a good cause

If not, he'd be kinda annoyed by it, but would understand that you've been dealing with this for a while, so you're definitely used to it, and change is quite difficult

At night time, when you're most active, he tries to give as much affection and love before he goes to sleep

Most of the tikenthat means you taking action in bed but whateves

He loves you so much but wishes he'd be able to interact with you more throughout the day without disturbing your precious sleep

And sleeping without you just isn't the same as the naps you both take after lunch

It's just so lonely and wonky he doesn't like it at all

Give k'sante more love, I beg!!!

Yone

(Like alune, there's literally no gifs for yone and that makes me sad)

He'd definitely be more disturbed by it but would understand.

He'd have a calendar every corner lmao

I front of the bathroom mirror so you see it behind your reflection, on the fridge, in your closet, anywhere!

He loves you so much but it's hard to live someone whose always napping

He'd wake you up in the most gentle ways

Kisses.on the forehead, cheek, pouty lips

Fixing your hair, gliding his fingertips over your face as he admires you

Calling out your name in gentle whispers and chuckling when you whine because you don't want to wake up

He thinks you're so cute and gets used to waking you up every now and then.

He's a total insomniac, though, so he's sometimes awake with you, working on songs when he doesn't take his meds.

And he usually only falls asleep with you in his arms so it's a but more difficult to sleep when you're awake.

So someday, when he doesn't want to work, he ask you to have fun with him instead 🤭

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Note!

Augh YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO SWEET!!! Thank you so so much for requesting!!! 💙💙💙💙 BTW it was kinda difficult to show that this was a fem reader because I want to include as many body types as I can, so I didn't describe the body ad much as I would have if I had a specific body type so, IM SORRY BOUT THAT 💙💙💙.

#heartsteel ezreal #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel yone #heartsteel sett #heartsteel #heartsteel k'sante #heartsteel yone x fem reader #heartsteel ezreal x fem reader #heartsteel kayn x fem reader #heartsteel aphelios x fem reader #heartsteel sett x fem reader #heartsteel K'sante x fem reader #heartsteel x fem reader

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heyidkyay · 10 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Two

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Warnings: Use of French from someone's whose ability extends to that of the primary school level! Hints of past encounters with substance abuse, but not really.

Authors Note: Part two baby!! I'm really so glad that you all seemed to enjoy the first part of this and can only hope you'll like this one too! I can't believe I've actually decided to give this series a go, already onto starting part four! But I loved seeing all the reactions to it in truth and felt like I couldn't not. Hope you like it x

Masterlist

Adi @/AdelineWells_ 2m ago

Coffee acquired and headed into the studio! Who’s looking forward to today’s show?? #MouseOnAMic

“Did you see it then!” Adi exclaimed breathlessly as soon as I trudged in through the loft door, not even giving me the chance to settle in and perhaps start on a brew before she was invading my personal space.

“Well, have you?”

I dropped my bag onto the settee and then followed suit by falling heavily into my favoured armchair, the yellow one which sat happily amongst the rest of the sitting area we’d first set up in the studio.

“Seen what?” I questioned Adi, the sigh I added muffled by the tired hand I dragged across the lower portion of my face, before I then knuckled the edge of my jaw.

It had been an extremely long morning, what with Teddy not having wanted to leave my side since waking up and then deciding to throw an massive all-mighty fit when I’d had to drop him straight off at nursery instead of Finn’s like usual.

Finn had actually gotten a last minute project thrown his way, one he hadn't been able to say no to, being an commissioned artist and all, which had resulted in him being unable to take Teddy off my hands like planned and me running more than a little late.

That, plus the trains had been a complete and utter nightmare!

Another strike was set to start soon and so the trains were in constant delay. Not that I blamed the workers specifically for it all, to each their own and all that crap. But still, it took me a half an hour longer to get into work this morning than it usually should have done.

I let my eyes slip close at the very thought of it, merely hoping for a moment’s peace, but then heard Adi sigh dramatically somewhere to the left of me, seemingly oblivious to the weary state I was already in.

She was growing impatient with me and I could feel a headache brewing, the steady throbs of it pulsing high in my temples. I noted then how much I was in dire need of a rather large coffee, or maybe even something stronger, but simply resigned myself to the knowledge that the headache would probably only worsen throughout the day, seeing as though I’d forgotten to grab my migraine medication out of the cupboard in my haste this morning.

I didn’t even get the chance to centre myself before a phone was being shoved into my face. Immediately, I blinked my bleary eyes open at the intrusion and winced at the onslaught of unexpected bright light it gave as I lurched as far back as the shoddy armchair would allow me.

“Christ, Ads.” I muttered, but the woman only persevered and I was forced to squint and try to make sense of the many words she was presenting to me on the screen of her mobile. My eyes widened in disbelief.

Without a second thought, I snatched the thing out of Ad’s impatient grip and straightened in my seat, reeling. “Shit.”

The Sun

Tuesday, 08:23am

Drunken truths- or rather, tweets!

After yesterday’s whirlwind, caused by a recent segment on an up and coming radio show based in London, Mouse On A Mic, where the host shedded their honest opinion on the behaviour of none other than The 1975’s lead singer, Matty Healy, the online world has been divided. Since the show aired there has been a massive show of support for the presenter, many agreeing with the comments made, but also, and rather unsurprisingly, there has been the expected backlash from the band’s rowdy fanbase.

Mouse, a pseudonym used by the show’s host, managed to make it onto Twitter’s trending page in the early hours of yesterday evening, after the segment on the singer blew up, and it was there that many came to battle over the honesty of it all!

The award winning artist himself later touched upon it, hours after everything had actually occurred and some of the heat had died down, in a tweet of his own! In it Matty seemed to back the radio host’s claims, stating that we really should ‘listen to the radio’ and that he is an evident ‘liar’ as he’s been labelled many times before. He even went as far as to say that he was indeed very ‘sad’, which caused a mass hysteria of both confusion and emotion to spread throughout the media, some of it relating back to Healy’s previous stints in rehab and the many times he’s been caught in the firing line. Whilst others showed no sympathy at all.

No one from Matty’s band or team has yet to comment on it, but the tweet has since been mysteriously deleted! Our question is, where do we go from here?

“I know, right! How mad is this?” Adi gushed unabashedly as she threw her weight into the spinning chair beside my own. The wheels whined beneath her weight but Adi paid the noise no mind, either beyond used to the crappy furniture we’d procured since moving in or just too enthralled in the phone she’d since snatched back.

I figured it to be the latter.

“He was obviously so gone when writing it, but do you reckon it’s the truth then? That he’s probably getting shit for it right now?” She further queried, her voice filled with a childlike excitement that had me frowning.

“If so, why do you sound so pleased about it?” I shot back, tilting my head over towards her, “The whole thing’s more than a little messed up, Ads.”

Adi merely groaned at me in response, letting her head lull against the back of the chair before she then cast an exaggerated glance, a cheap look that clearly stated, ‘are-you-fucking-joking-me?’

I didn’t care much for it, in all honesty, and widened my own eyes in a mocking response, waiting for her to give me an actual answer.

“God, Mouse! Have you even seen the amount of subscribers the show has gotten since Healy’s tweet? We’ve already got a dozen calls lined up and we don’t even air for another hour!” Adi blew out excitedly as she pushed herself further up in her seat, the tight miniskirt which hugged her thighs rode up slightly but she made no move to tug it down, too caught up in her rant.

“We’ve gained over twenty thousand followers, babe! Twenty thousand! And it’s only grown since his tweet was deleted! Can you believe that?”

I scoffed. “It’s hardly something to be proud of, is it? Gaining traction off some guy who’s already got the world quick-firing at him. He needs help, not more fucking media attention. I mean, you said it yourself, he was clearly hammered whilst writing it.”

I got up to turn my back on her then, figuring it’d be best if I just got a start on setting up for the day seeing as we were already running behind.

In all honesty, I really could see what had Adi so ecstatic. The show had never received this much notice before and twenty thousand followers was a game changer for people like us. It would boost ratings and help garner the wider audience we’d been chasing for ages now. But I still felt guilty and was far from proud of the fact that we’d earned all of these so-called ‘followers’ off the back of somebody else’s torment.

Matty clearly had his demons, that much was evident. But in my opinion, he really didn’t need any more publicity. Especially on a topic which surrounded old habits and seemed so blatantly sensitive. At this point, I honestly wished I'd never opened my fat gob.

Messing about with the console, I silently wondered why I cared so much. Yeah the evident culpability was there, but the guy had it coming with the way he’d been acting. I’d just been doing my job. Right?

I withheld a frustrated sigh at the question, but then jumped an inch out of my skin when I felt a gentle touch brush against my shoulder, pulling me swiftly from my thread of chaotic thoughts.

Spinning around, I was met with the face of a guilt-ridden Adi, who’s glossy lips were pursed and deep brown eyes downcast.

“Sorry,” She said and then paused, “Didn't think of it much like that.” Her mouth twisted uncomfortably for a second before she finally smiled at me, clearly apologetic. “We should probably say something then, right? To the viewers?”

I dipped my head in a surprised nod before slouching into the booth’s chair with a defeated huff. “I mean sure, but what would we even say though? It’s all so fucked up. Thanks for following us but fuck you if you think we’re gonna chat shit about some band?”

Adi snorted, but her typical catty smile didn't quite reach her eyes, “Guess that could work. Sounds effective enough.”

I chuckled around a smile of my own, then hummed for a moment.

“Not really the big break we were looking for, is it?” I commented aloud, not really looking for a response. Then added, “You reckon he’s alright?”

“Who?”

A brief silence settled between us then as I scanned Adi’s bemused face, and she moved to settle against the edge of the table.

“Healy.” I murmured softly.

And Adi, apparently taken back by my answer, locked her jaw in thought before her eyes shifted towards something just over my shoulder. “I’m not sure.”

Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 22m ago Highlights of today's show!

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 21m ago Mouse opened up today's show with ‘an oldie’, in her words, and played 'Morning Glory' by Oasis which seemed to please a lot of us! She also asked how everyone was today, briefly mentioning her long morning.

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 19m ago The first topic was based around the Kardashian's newest season and was brought up by a listener who had messaged the show. "F*cking old news! We should have gotten rid of that show ages ago, I really have no idea how people can just sit around and watch it all honestly! So much unnecessary- and clearly fake- drama going on. Just seeing the influence that it has on so many young girls, as well as how much time people are willing to spend on that entire family, is just something I can’t comprehend or get behind, but have been very conscious of. I'm so lost on what it is exactly that has people feeling so drawn to them. It's mental!"

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 17m ago The show played this week's top 10 hits! Mouse making a very special shout-out to her son, who's current obsession is blasting Taylor Swift's new release through the speakers! (Don't worry, Mini Mouse, we're obsessed with it too!)

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 14m ago The famous "Call Us!" segment makes a return this week! Mouse dragged Adi into the booth, as per usual, and the pair spoke to a few excited callers. The duo answered questions on the newest single’s out right now and what upcoming films they were excited to see! Adi even ended up calling out Ed Sheeran?! Of all people, after a fan phoned in to rant about their need for a new album!

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 13m ago A competitive game of "The Impossible Quiz" broke out, which of course was won by our ever merciless Adi, and Mouse followed through on the losing dare! (Check it out on the Show's website to see! Link in bio.)

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 11m ago Lead vocalist and guitarist to Only The Poets, Tommy Longhurst, Facetimed the studio to talk about his band’s newest single, 'Every God I Pray To'. He's been a fan of Mouse and Adi since his first appearance on the show about a year ago now with the rest of the guys and it was so great to see the three of them together again! They ended up doing a Fan Q&A (which is up on the show’s Youtube channel now!) before they played the single for everyone listening in.

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 8m ago When Adi headed out of the booth, Mouse decided to touch on the topic of yesterday's show. This is what was said, "I just wanted to bring up what went down during the last show, as it- I don't even know at this point, really. It just spread like wildfire across social media and has since been taken a little out of context. The topic of Matty Healy did come up after he'd made a recent headline, having been pictured again after taking a couple weeks away from the spotlight whilst on tour. I gave my honest opinion on the subject, simply shared my thoughts, and I do stand by what I said at the time- as all our longtime listeners will already know! But with that being said, on this matter I do feel as though I probably should have held back a tad and bitten my tongue. I don't know Matty well enough to dub him as this or that, or to comment on his life choices- I've never even met the guy! But it is my job to speak out on current topics and I was just doing what I'm paid to do. (Cont)

>Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 6m ago

"… Adi was actually the one to show me the tweet Healy sent out last night, as well as the incredibly insensitive articles that were paired alongside it, and I see now that it's caused a bit of drama and sparked a few more unwanted rumours for him. I feel largely to blame. To all the new listeners, I just want you all to understand that, here and now, I do not intend on milking this particular cow, and I won't be saying much more on the matter. I only hope that he’s doing okay. And Matty, if you are somehow listening, I really do apologise for all the shit I said and for the crap I've probably caused you since. It wasn't my intention for any of this to blow up, but you seem like a good sort, so. You're welcome on the show or at the studio anytime, no judgement here. Now! That's enough said on that topic, I’m-" And with that, Mouse soon moved onto wrapping up the show.

[HOMESCREEN] 17:18

Facetime now Mam Incoming call

Messages 4m Finnleyyy Listened to the show on the drive home, you okay?

"Bonsoir, mon belle fille!"

I smiled softly at the warm and familiar sound of my mum’s voice, even through the phone it was always so tender, a massive reminder of home. Her accent was gentle but brought me an undeniable amount of comfort and reminded me of days spent just the two of us, stowed away in our tiny cottage by the coast.

Before I could even offer her a greeting in reply though, the soft smile I wore immediately brightened upon having a much smaller figure settle down onto my lap to grab at the screen.

My mother laughed when a set of familiar eyes and chubby cheeks took up the tiny box in the tophand corner and I couldn't stop myself from chuckling along quietly with her when Teddy greeted her buoyantly.

“Mémé!” Teddy exclaimed happily, full of excitement as he proceeded to crawl closer to the camera, all knees and elbows whilst he tried to better see his grandmother.

I honestly really did try to stifle every groan that wanted to escape me as he went, but I must've looked pained because I didn't miss the flicker of mirth that glossed the older woman’s ageing eyes once Teds had finally settled.

"Bonjour chérie! How have you been? Behaving, I hope." My mum spoke, her sharp gaze lingering on me for a second longer than necessary before she finally shifted her full attention back onto her already babbling grandson.

I let the two of them chatter back and forth for a while, tired from where the day’s antics had worn me down, but still listening quietly as I focused on my mum’s sweet smile.

It was days like these that I wished I could do more than simply phone her. I wanted to walk through the front door after a long walk by the harbour and see her standing in the kitchen. I wanted to hug her and smell the same flowery perfume she’d worn since I was Teddy’s age. I wanted to lay on the grassy fields which sat behind our cottage and talk about nothing until the sun finally set.

But just seeing her face would have to do, for now.

"So you have been good for your maman, non?" I heard my mum ask, and all of my problems suddenly seemed so trivial at that moment, especially in comparison to the beaming grin Teddy gifted the woman as he nodded his head vigorously in response.

I raised a hand to run my fingers through the toddler’s hair, fingertips tucking stray stands behind his tiny ears. "He's been fine- well, we had a little tiff this morning, didn't we Teds?" I alluded to and then laughed, closed mouthed and breathy, at the way Teddy's head snapped up to gape at me. "When a certain someone didn't want to leave the flat..."

Teddy's lips curved into an unhappy frown at my words and his eyebrows dipped to show how displeased he was with the fact that I had ratted him out. To his grandmother of all people.

I snorted to myself.

“Oh is that so?” Came my mum’s voice and Teddy’s eyes widened at her tone. Immediately the little boy whipped his head back around so that he could pout in the direction of the camera.

"No!" Teddy tried and I snickered, which only seemed to earn me a narrow-eyed scowl in retort. I had to, quite literally, chew at my bottom lip to hide my amused grin then. "I just tired, mémé! Need sleep! And Fin say no come over t'day. Gots to work. And I was sad."

“Ah, I see! So you were in a mood.” My mum hummed, eyes twinkling now. “And here I thought you adored mornings, Teddy! Or has it just been too long since you last visited me?” She gave me a pointed glance then, one I knew all too well.

Teddy, oblivious to his grandmother’s unsubtle attempt at chiding me, sat up straighter to once again grab at the phone I held. I sighed in reluctance but let him have it, trying not to linger too long on thoughts of grubby fingerprints and a broken screen.

Only recently had I had the stupid thing upgraded, not long after Teddy had violently destroyed the last one. The horrified expression of the young worker I’d shown it to in the shop still haunted me to this very day, as well blu-tack and parcel tape which had been the only two things holding the phone together.

"I do, I do!" Teddy rushed to reassure the woman, bouncing to further accentuate his point. I settled a hand on his shoulder to still him, grimacing lightly at the way his knee had suddenly been forced into my lower stomach. "Mornin’ I'm good! Mum makes soldiers like you! An' I see an'mals in the park when we walk to Finny's."

"That sounds like fun, mon cœur, and I'm excité to hear more, but that does not explain your tantrum." The older woman replied, and I felt the moment Teddy slumped against my chest, eyes downcast. "Alors pourquoi?"

Teddy shrugged silently at her, chin tucked into his neck. I tried to bite back my smirk and my mum gave me a sharp look for it, but it did nothing to dim the mirth I felt. Actually only encouraged me further, enough that I had to angle my face away.

The one thing I loved most about living in London was the fact that my mum could only scold me through the phone.

"Just didn't wanna leave, mummy." Teddy admitted, rather sheepishly in fact, which instantly caught my attention. But before I could get a word in edgeways, my mum was already there, saving the day. Like always.

"Edward. Your maman is there for you whenever you need her! You call and she will come running."

Her voice was gentle, face full of concern and assurance, so much so that I had to suck in a tight breath.

"Has there ever been a time that you have needed her and she wasn't there?"

Teddy shook his head, woeful eyes trained on the screen now, and I couldn't stop himself from wrapping an arm around him, desperate to have him closer. Teddy went without fuss and leant into the familiar gesture, resting his head against the small crook at my neck.

"See? She’s so wonderful, so very good to you, and she can only do her best, comprendre? So when she is not with you, when you are with Finn or at the nursery school with all your friends, she is working hard to make sure you have a happy life. It doesn't mean she loves you any less, chéri."

"And I do love you, Teddy." I added thickly, chin buried in Teddy's hair, "So, so much."

"I know. Just miss you."

My heart constricted tightly in my chest when Teddy tilted his head far back enough to peer up at me, his long lashes brushing against the line of his brow. I leaned in closer to press a kiss into his nest of messy curls.

“Miss you too, little man. Always. Things are never any fun without you around.”

"Really?" Teddy gasped loudly, as though he'd just that second heard that the Amazon rainforest had upped itself and decided to invade the UK.

"Big time." I faintly whispered, smiling when Teddy's face lit up.

He turned then, far too quickly for my liking, his entire mood having shifted upon hearing those simple words. "You hear mummy, mémé! You hear?"

"Oui, oui, chéri!" My mum replied with the same amount of emotion, tittering quietly to herself as she observed Teddy's catching excitement, "So lucky to have her, non?"

Teddy nodded vehemently and I just rolled my eyes at the pair, half in exasperation and half fondly.

"I think it's the other way around, I'd be beyond lost without this little monster." I quickly countered, tickling Teddy's sides and then laughing when the toddler squirmed in my hold, unable to escape.

"Stop! Stop!" Teddy pleaded in a fit of hysterics as I continued my attack. "Help, mémé! Tell!"

"D'accord, d'accord!" Came my mother's merry laugh, seemingly coming to Teddy's rescue even though she was more than two hundred miles away. "Le laisser. My poor baby!"

I relented but only pulled away once I had smattered a sloppy trail of kisses down my baby's flushed cheek. Teddy whined unhappily at the invasion and wiped lazily at his face with the back of his hand whilst I simply laughed.

"Silly babies." My mum scoffed without any heat, her smile radiant.

She looked just about ready to say something else but Teddy was already twisting in my lap. "Hafta go loo." He divulged to me in a not-so-quiet whisper, wriggling in his seat now with a strained smile.

I blew out a breathy chuckle in reply and immediately pulled the phone from his grasp, placing it on the arm of the settee so that I could swiftly pick him up and plop him down onto the floor. I nodded my head in the direction of the hallway and Teddy hurried on, but not before he kissed the phone screen goodbye.

I returned to the sound of my mother's sweet laughter.

"Je jure, il est une bénédiction."

My mouth pulled up at one side whilst I lightly shook my head. "A menace, more like."

"Ah! Do not speak ill of my gorgeous grandson!" My mum was quick to retort, wagging a finger at me, and even down the phone she could make menacing work. "He is magnifique, made up of all your best parts!"

I simply snorted in turn, rolling my eyes as I let my head fall back against the settee cushion. "I don't have enough of those to configure an entire being, even one that small."

It was my mum’s turn to snort then.

"Don't make such jokes." She scoffed, waving me away, "They forever fall flat.” Ouch. “You are beautiful, my love. Anyone with eyes can see that, and Teddy is so lucky to have you as his mother."

I couldn't really bring myself to reply then, instead I inhaled slowly and let my eyes slip close. It had been another long and tiring day, but then again, most days had me at the brink of exhaustion, in truth.

"Joli, talk to me." The woman murmured softly, her voice rang out into the now empty room, rousing my attention back to the phone. "I can see how tired you are, amour."

With another deep breath, I tried to give her the best smile I could muster. "I'm fine, mam. You don't need to worry so much."

My mum scoffed again, rolling her eyes with it.

"It's my job to worry about you! And you make it so much harder when you do not tell me what is going on. With you so far away, I can do nothing but call and pester until you talk to me!"

I sighed distractedly and raised a hand to rub at my cheek. I knew that she had a point, understood that she was always there whenever I needed her, but it was so hard to allow her that intimacy. She had spent the majority of my childhood caring for me, constantly worrying and fretting, so much it still often made me feel like a burden.

Moving to London had meant to be a fresh start for us both, somewhere far enough that I could give her the much needed space away from me and my many issues. But then I'd gone and cocked everything up by getting myself pregnant, and I’d only made things worse for us when Teddy had come along. It had taken weeks for me to finally admit to her just how terrified I had felt. How desperate I’d been for help.

But not once had she complained about my ability to open up, or lack thereof. Deep down, I knew that she probably understood my inner torment, my desperate need to not be a bother, but it didn't make anything at all easier.

Thoughtlessly, I threaded a hand through my hair, already feeling the knowing tell of a migraine that was starting to form just behind my eyes. I made a quick note to take something for it before I went to bed, otherwise I would be in utter hell come tomorrow morning.

And as I carefully mulled over the words that dizzied my mind, thinking on my mum’s own, I thought back to the last few days, about how hectic everything had been.

“Just a bit mental at work.” Was what I settled on, but couldn't quite stop myself from huffing as I knuckled at the inner corner of my eye. “I said something on the show that I probably shouldn’t have, and next thing I knew it was all over the news. Headlines and everything, can you believe that?”

Still in disbelief over it all, I just shook my head.

“I saw nothing. It wasn't anything bad, was it, should I start worrying?” My mum pestered with a telling expression, because we both knew just how quickly my mouth could get me into trouble. We’d had one too many experiences tucked under our belts with that, but what can you do really?

Instantly I waved her worries off, laughing lightly, “No, nothing too extreme. Well, not anything too vulgar or offensive, just shared an opinion on this guy.”

“Souris,” My mum dragged out the nickname lowly, a warning or maybe a plea, telling me not to add anything stupid to the rest of my explanation. “S'il te plaît. Do not tell me you said anything rude.”

I shrugged, “Not really.”

“Not really?” She quickly retorted, utterly exasperated it seemed as a hand flew hurriedly through the air. “Not really, she says!”

I had to muffle the snort I made in my palm, “I’m telling the truth!”

I blew out a breath and started to toy with the frayed hem of my jumper's sleeve, peering down at it. “Just, I’d been asked to talk about this one singer- Matty Healy, you might know him? From that one band.”

My mum merely blinked at me, before she ultimately shook her head, the name not ringing any bells.

I wondered, very briefly, whether that was a first for Healy.

“Well, I- I ‘spose I made an assumption on air, spoke before thinking really-”

“The usual.”

Barreling on, I ignored the sly dig of her interruption, “And probably didn't hold back. Apparently he has a rather large fan base though and a few of them heard what I’d said online, started talking about it. No wait, arguing is probably the better word.”

“Oh mon Dieu. Please don’t tell me you started arguing with these people! It’s not good for the show, for you! And what of Teddy, what if he hears the gossiping?”

“Maman, you sound almost as bad as me!” I chuckled, unable to hide my amusement at her worrying, “Stop assuming!”

She clucked at me in return, then signalled for me to continue with a roll of her eyes.

“See, the singer, well he must have ended up hearing it all because he replied to us on Twitter.” I revealed, peeking up to garner her reaction. “Reckon he was probably a bit drunk when he did though, and ended up admitting that what I’d said was mostly truth.”

My mum worried at her lower lip, letting a silence stretch between us before she broke it with a faint hum, “What else happened? Did you reply?”

“I spoke out about it a little more on today’s show; apologised.” I answered with a one-armed shrug, voice much quieter now. “But I don't know, I felt horrible. And I've never even met the man!”

“Try not to stress too much. I’m sure it will all work out. Besides, you have bigger things to fret about, like whether or not you’re coming to see me for Noël.”

I beamed at that, but still had to shake my head at her incessance. The woman really did have a way of rationalising everything though.

Just as I was about to add to that, I stilled and my eyes flickered up to the notification that had just come through at the top of my screen. An email. It wasn't too unusual to be receiving one this late, I supposed, and so I squinted my eyes at the notification box as I let my soft chuckles die out.

To: Mouseradio@/gmail.com From: Clientteam@/Primarytalent.org Subject: Scheduling/Meetings

Good evening!

Apologies for the late email, we simply wanted to write to you in regards to the recent claims made on your radio show, Mouse On A Mic, both yesterday and today, regarding the topic of one of our high profile clients.

We see it fit that all agencies involved should come to an agreeable arrangement now that the media have become more involved in the subject matter. Our team has since come together and written up some viable solutions, we believe it would be in both parties best interests if a time slot could be scheduled on your show within the upcoming days, in which we can gain an advantage and shed the right amount of light on the sensitive topic at hand.

We hope to hear back from you shortly and are wishing you all the best. Please do reply with a response and some available dates to this email address as soon as possible!

We are looking forward to hearing from you, the Primary Talent Team.

“Mum? I’m gonna have to call you back.”

147 notes · View notes

zoeykallus · 2 years

Note

Hey there! I wasn’t sure if you were still taking requests, but if you are I couldn’t help but send one. How about Hunter when he’s having sensory overload and the reader is trying to comfort him. Bonus if Hunter ends up confessing his crush on the reader at the end! Thanks so much and I hope you are having a great day ❤️

Aloha! Yes, I still take requests, and I'm still behind with them 😅 Sorry for the wait! Hope I can make up for it!

Hunter x Reader One-Shot - You Ease My Pain

Fluff/Comfort/Soft Stuff/Sensory Overload For Hunter

____________________

The boys had been on the road for a few days. This time you couldn't go with them and stayed behind. When the boys come back, they all seem tired, but Hunter in particular worries you.

His brow is furrowed, his eyes narrowed, and he keeps grabbing his forehead. Without saying much, he immediately disappears into the bathroom for a long time.

The shower runs for what seems like an eternity, as if he's trying to wash away not only dirt but stress. His brothers already know this phenomenon and keep some distance. But you worry.

As Hunter emerges from the shower, clad in fresh garments, already dressed in his sleeping clothes he says, "I don't want to hear or see anything for at least the next eight hours"

An approving low murmur goes around and Hunter retreats to the room he currently occupies in Cid's establishment.

Questioningly, you look at his brothers, in particular Tech, who senses you looking at him and looks up from his datapad.

"Can I help you?" he asks matter-of-factly, politely, adjusting his goggles.

"Is Hunter okay?"

Tech makes my deliberative hand gesture and says, "Yes and no."

You raise your eyebrows questioningly and Tech continues, "In the last few days we've been on planets and in places that were either very busy or very run down, we've been in constant activity with little sleep and, for someone like Hunter, exposed to a considerable amount of sensory overload. He probably has migraine-like headaches and generally feels drained"

"Oh," you say quietly, "The poor guy."

Wrecker says smiling, "It's not easy for him, but he'll recover, he always does. He just needs some rest"

When you are in your own room in the evening, the thought of Hunter suffering just won't leave you alone. You walk up and down the room, think for a while, and finally decide to go and see him.

You gently knock on his room door.

Hunter sounds annoyed as he calls out, "Come in."

When you go in, Hunter is lying on his bed in the semi-darkness, one arm over his face, eyes special, one leg hanging out of the bed, he is only partially covered and he still seems tense.

He hasn't seen who comes in, only heard the door open and growls, "I hope for your sake it's important."

Then you see his head move a little and he takes a deep breath. Suddenly, he pulls his arm away from his face and pulls his leg up onto the bed and covers himself properly. You realize that he recognized you by your smell, somehow that was creepy and exciting at the same time.

His words are reprimanding, but his expression and voice are soft as he says, "I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed for the next eight hours."

You smile apologetically and say, "I know, I'm not here to disturb you either. I brought you some tea and some fruit, you need vitamins".

Hunter blinks in surprise.

"Thank you," he says quietly as you place the items on the small nightstand for him.

"You're welcome."

You dim the light a little more.

"Actually, you should be in the dark all the way, because of your headache" you say thoughtfully.

Hunter sighs softly and explains, "I can't. When I'm overstimulated like I am now, my sense of smell and hearing overreacts when I close my eyes, or it's too dark. And the other way around. I hear people talking outside on the street, I smell the unwashed Weequay downstairs in the bar…. It's hard to fall asleep and get to rest."

You carefully sit down on the edge of the bed, reach your hands out to his head, and gently ask, "May I?"

Again Hunter blinks in surprise, not sure what you have in mind, but he seems to trust you because he nods and says, "Uh, okay, sure."

Your fingers gently move to his temples and begin to gently massage them. Blinking, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"That feels good. Can you do that for the next eight hours?"

You have to chuckle and say, "I'm happy to do this for as long as I can, I just don't know if I can last eight hours."

His eyes are still closed, but a smile spreads across his lips.

"I'm grateful for every minute," he finally says softly, "Besides, you're the only one I smell now, and that's by far my favorite scent"

You feel warmth creep up your face.

"I'm your favorite scent?"

Hunter's eyes open and widen, he looks a little startled, like he just realized what he said.

"Well, um, yeah, I guess you could say that."

He clears his throat, closes his eyes again and says softly, "Sorry, that probably comes across as creepy to you"

"No," you say softly, "I kind of like the idea. I've always wondered, since I've known how sharp your senses are, how you perceive me"

Hunter's eyes open again, and he looks directly at you, your fingers pause for a moment, you sense he is about to tell you something important.

"Your presence has always eased any suffering for me and attracted me magnetically".

You smile and lower your eyes shyly when you feel his hands on yours.

"Would you stay here for a while? I feel better when you are near me," he speaks softly.

You nod and reply just as quietly, "I'd love to."

Hunter slides to the side and makes a welcoming hand gesture. You kick off your shoes and lie down next to him. Almost automatically, your hands find each other and your fingers intertwine.

Hunter gently kisses your forehead.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

He asks with a smirk, "Shall we share the fruit?"

Returning the smirk, you say, "Sounds good to me."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@starwarsnerd111

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?

I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.

Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.

I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.

Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.

I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.

Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.

Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.

I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.

Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.

It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.

His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom · 8 months

Text

Headaches

Wrecker x Reader

Summary- Wrecker always goes to reader for help with his constant headaches. Based on S 1, Ep 5-7 when Wreckers inhibitor chip was giving him bad headaches!

A/N- Hello fellow readers!! This is my second piece in TBB fandom, so i'm still learning the characters. Thanks for bearing with me! XoXo

Word Count- 838

Wrecker's groans filled the air. A hand clutching his head, eyes screwed shut, and head barred down.

Everyone was settling back on Ord Mantell after a successful bounty captured.

"You alright?" Hunter asked, before you could even turn to face Wrecker.

"Yeah, yeah." Wrecker peaked his head up, eyes trained on you. "Its just a headache..." Hunter wasn't convinced, but let it be.

Wrecker doesn't shift his gaze, giving you puppy-dog eyes.

With a smile on your face, you stand from your seat.

"C'mon Wrecker, it's getting late. Some sleep will help." This had become a common unfortunate for Wrecker. No one knew what was plaguing his head-splitting headaches, and Wrecker didn't want to drag the team down with them.

Wrecker grumbled but blindly followed you into one of Cid's unoccupied rooms.

He immediately threw himself onto the bed. You closed the door and ushered him back up so he could take the bulk of his armor off. He whined but did as he was told and sat up.

You reached him, gently resting your hands on either side of his face. Rubbing small circles with your thumbs. You stood between his legs, knees pressing on the side of the bed.

He leaned into your left palm, letting you hold his face. With eyes closed, he let out a sigh. His face was warm and heavy. For a second you thought you might have seen the stream of pain make its way to his temple. He flinched, but not at your touch.

"Bad one this time?" You babied him slightly, but who else was there to take care of him?

"They're all bad!" He exclaimed, arms going up and head rising sharply. He had a continuous headache for three days now, only having temporary relief with med patches.

You gave a small pout as he regretted his actions, pain striking him again. He signed deeply and you caressed his cheek with one hand, looking down at him.

"Okay, big guy. I get it, let's get you out of this." He mumbled a few words, likely about resisting, but he let you freely touch him.

You clipped off his arm plates first, then moved on to his chest-plate. Your hands lingered on his newly exposed body glove. He noticed, but didn't mention it.

The moment you slipped it off, his body slouched in exhaustion. You decided to play your cards.

"Poor baby... always protecting your team so well"

He looked up at you, nodding as he slowly got closer to you.

"And putting everyone before yourself."

He nodded again, lips slightly parted, hungry for your approval.

"What would we ever do without you?" You sold it with your last line, adding a sigh and a brush against his cheek.

He melted into you, arms wrapping around your waist, head falling to your breast. He squeezed you tight, letting out the day's stress.

"Die I guess."

With a laugh you let him do as he pleased, rubbing his back. The other hand brought up to rest on his neck.

After a few minutes of silence you pulled back. Between the long of the day hitting and your legs feeling numb, you were tired.

Wrecker gave a small whine when you did so, feet shuffling.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing, just tired." You stepped away to pull back the covers of the bed. He sat still, watching you. His mind was hazy from his headache, it hurt to move.

He hummed, shifting when you came back to him. You stretched out your hands, taking his. With a slight pull he stood up, towering over you.

It was comical how large he was, yet he still bent at your every word. He grasped onto every sentence, every command you gave him. Sometimes he felt that his only purpose was to serve you, not the Empire or Republic. Nothing you could do would even tempt him to hurt you. Even though he could snap you in seconds.

His head lowered, ready to follow you into bed.

"Hold on." You quickly turned to switch the lights off. His hand never left yours.

You crawled into bed first, Wrecker impossibly close behind you. You turned with your arms open, he obeyed and settled between them.

His weight was heavy on you, even just him snuggled onto your left half. The pressure was nothing but comforting to you, though. His head rested on your chest, arms wrapped around your side.

You beckoned him closer with a hand to his head, the other resting on his bicep.

"Sleep, ill still be here in the morning."

"I know..." He seemed already half-asleep by his slurred words.

"Good night, big guy."

It only took a minute for Wrecker to fall asleep. You let out a contented sigh. You worried his pain would keep him awake, as it had in the past.

Even with him asleep, you gently rubbed his temples. You basked in the comfort you were able to give.

While his headache might still be there in the morning, you would be there too.

A/N- Thank you so much for reading!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @knight-of-flowerss

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callyypso · 3 months

Text

It is SO FUCKING HARD to figure out what "working hard" looks like when you're disabled.

I want to be a hard worker. I want to learn work ethic. But I HAVE to remember it's going to look different from someone who doesn't live with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic anxiety. There's a difference between laziness and real limitations.

I am in pain all the time. Everything hurts. I have headaches and migraines. My muscles are constantly sore even when I've not exercised. I have constant nerve pain in certain parts of my body that is constant 100% of my waking hours. My feet always hurt. I have a deep tissue skin condition that causes pain. I am always, always, always hurting.

I am tired 100% of the time and honestly? The fatigue is worse than the pain. I would rather have MORE PAIN if it meant I was somehow less tired. The fatigue is so bad I panic when I feel exhausted. When I feel my fatigue getting worse it causes anxiety because I have flashbacks of the days I had to sleep for 2-3 days in a row with no food and only the water I brought with me before crashing. I FEAR exhaustion. Pain is miserable but you can learn to tune it out mostly if you're focused enough on something else. You cannot tune out fatigue. No amount of distraction can pull you away from the despair of being trapped in a body that cannot move the way you need it to because you are simply too exhausted to make it move. Fatigue pulls all focus because you don't have the energy to focus on anything else. When I say I'm exhausted, I don't mean I want to take a nap. I mean that down to my bones, every muscle fiber, down to my fucking eyelids feels soupy and heavy and sapped of whatever life juice keeps them functioning. Exhaustion feels like wakeful death. And sleep doesn't fix it.

I get sick. Constantly. I always either have a fungal infection, or a sore throat, or a nauseous stomach, or a migraine, or SOMETHING. I get sick if I push too hard, even if I had fun. I just went on vacation and spent about 3 days after feeling like I had the flu. My tonsils were red and swollen, I could barely swallow, I had a wet cough, migraine for a week, could barely choke down food. Nobody else got any symptoms. I just get sick because I decided to do something.

On top of the pain, fatigue, and sickness, my brain is a nightmare of anguish. I have a "very severe case" of major depressive disorder that has been treatment resistant since I was a teenager. My head feels like there's constant screaming. I am anxious and fearful of EVERYTHING. There is always noise in my head, screaming in pain and screaming at me that I'm not doing enough, I'm not good enough, I'm an idiot I'm worthless I'm garbage I'm better off dead. I think about suicide obsessively. My brain is a place of torment I am constantly trying to escape.

And then I wonder why it's fucking hard to exist.

Here's the thing: I so, so, so badly want to learn how to work hard. I want to learn how to pour the energy I have into something beautiful. I want to learn how to work hard and take the time and effort to create things that I'm proud of, that can help people feel seen and loved and ease their suffering just a little. It's creation from others that brings me so much joy every day and makes life worth living. I want to create too!

I want to exercise to be physically strong and as able bodied as I can be. I want to be able to cook meals because I love cooking. I want to be able to go for a hike with my dog. I want to spend hours working on something beautiful that makes people feel joy. I want to live a full life. I want to be free.

I have to remember my freedom will still have its shackles. I cannot have a life without chronic pain. I cannot have a life without chronic illness. I cannot have a life without a broken mind.

But if I learn how to work hard, despite all that, maybe I can have something worth it for me.

#calypso speaks #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #disability #creation

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i-luvsang · 2 years

Text

［ ☆ singleparent!au — lee haechan

1K MILESTONE EVENT ☆ OPEN

¿ ｡′ for 🥥 anon , gn!reader , singleparent!reader , i hope this counts as a domestic!au too :,) , angst w / happy ending , cw: crying, stress, exhaustion, a swear word lol , wc: 1.4K ！！

✧ to say being a single parent is difficult would most definitely be an understatement

✧ you love your daughter more than anything and would absolutely do anything for her

✧ you try to do everything you can

✧ you begged your boss to let you work from home in the afternoons even after the company got rid of the remote positions to be able to pick her up from day care and watch her at home

✧ the last thing you wanted was to have other people watch over her until you come home just before her bedtime and become an absent parent

✧ even if it means staying up until late hours every night to finish your work

✧ and while it’s all your choice to continue this sort of lifestyle that drains you to the ends of the earth, it’s all worth it to be a truly involved and healthy parent for her

✧ even so, it’s been extra overwhelming as of late

✧ and, bless his well-meaning soul, your new coworker has not been the biggest help

✧ lee haechan is a great guy, but despite you only working half days, your boss chose you to overlook haechan as he settles into company

✧ he does his work, and he’s generally good at it save the occasional mistakes a new worker is bound to make

✧ he’s kind and willing to listen to what you say, and yet, he must have some special talent in being annoying while managing to get the job done

✧ even worse, he’s oddly endearing as he does so

✧ with him and his constant jokes and admittedly comedic complaints against the work and that one coworker that no one likes, it feels like you can’t catch a moment of quiet

✧ it’s true, he does make you laugh, but sometimes he’s distracting and gets the whole office talking, and even if it’s about work, the extra noise never fails to make your tired headaches worsen

✧ and with you as the one overlooking his transition, it’s fallen to you to check the work he completes before it becomes final

✧ despite his overall proficiency, this added work has you going to bed significantly later than you already do

✧ that’s all to say, you’re tired. really fucking tired, and very much so fed up with everything

✧ but, you do what you can to get over it without letting it affect anyone else

✧ yet even when just over a month later, you’re free of checking all his work, you’re still exhausted

✧ the last straw is when he starts hitting on you

✧ yes, it is full of respect and his flirting is genuine and good-natured, but you can’t stand it

✧ not because you don’t find him frustratingly attractive or you don’t think his humor is absolutely hilarious

✧ but because you don’t have time for this

✧ you don’t have time to date anyone, and the last time you went on a blind date, they became distant and uninterested the moment they found out you had a kid

✧ and you, no matter how interested you might be in this sarcastic, witty man, are too tired and afraid to get your hopes up; you’ve done everything not to get into the reason why you leave during the lunch break every single day

✧ yet, you haven’t had the energy or the will to truly push him away; you try to stay neutral and professional around him, but you’ve never made a move to stop him, and clearly he’s noticed that

✧ you’ve just stepped into the elevator to head out and pick up your daughter when a familiar, distinct voice calls out, asking for you to keep the doors open for him

✧ haechan joins you in the small space when you do just that, shooting you his killer grin and shoving his hands in his pockets

✧ “we should grab lunch together,” he suggests just as the doors close

✧ “i can’t, sorry.”

✧ “why not? you’re just working from home in the afternoon, you should have time to get lunch, no?” he questions

✧ “no, i don’t have time to get lunch with you.”

✧ “so you have time to get lunch with someone else, just not me?” you can hear the way he’s trying to sound like he’s just teasing you, like he doesn’t care

✧ “no, haechan, i don’t have time to get lunch with anyone. anyday.” you’re aware how cold you sound, but you can’t bring yourself to care with how tired you are

✧ “why not?” he presses

✧ you breathe a sigh of relief as the elevator comes to a stop

✧ just as the doors open, you answer, “that’s my personal life, haechan, please stop asking about it.”

✧ you walk out, but he follows you, easily matching your pace as you beeline towards the employee parking lot

✧ “listen, i respect that and i promise i’ll stop asking if that’s really what you want–”

✧ “that’s what i want,” you interrupt

✧ “please, y/n, i’m not done.” he follows you into the parking lot itself and towards your car

✧ you resist the urge to yell at him and instead mutter a bitter “fine.”

✧ “listen, you’re just confusing me. maybe i want to know a little bit about your personal life. not because i’m a creep or anything, i swear, but i want to know more about you. and i want to know if the way your eyes light up while laughing at a joke i made is real, i want to know if you actually care when you tell me not to stay up working too late even though i know you stay up the latest of us all. i want to know if it’s just me that feels something.”

✧ it takes a lot for you not to cry. because you do care, you care a lot and you feel something and that’s why this whole thing is so terrible

✧ you check your watch, fighting away the sting in your eyes

✧ “i have to go,” you mumble in an effort to prevent your voice from cracking due to the building tension in the back of your throat

✧ he sets his jaw in disappointment “so you really don’t feel anything. because you really make it seem like you do no matter how hard to try.”

✧ “i– haechan, i can’t do this right now, i have to go.”

✧ “no, please, just tell me you don’t care and i’ll let it go, i swear,” he begs

✧ “haechan, it’s not that i don’t care,” you force your voice to stay steady. “but i can’t do this right now, i mean it. is that a good enough answer for you to drop this whole thing?”

✧ there’s so much hurt swimming in his eyes you can barely look at him

✧ “why?” he whispers, barely audible against the backdrop of nearby traffic. “because you have a kid? is that why?”

✧ you’re stunned into silence. how the hell did he know?

✧ “y/n, you succeed at being incredibly private with your words, but i’m afraid to inform you that you are not so subtle in other areas. both of the wallpapers on your phone are of her, plus you leave when most daycares get out and you always leave your shopping lists on your desk when you leave. ‘new sweater for soyul’ or ‘those chips that soyul likes.’ it’s not hard to tell she’s your daughter.”

✧ you blink back tears as your exhaustion rolls over you in an overwhelming wave

✧ “i get it if she’s the reason. i get it if you really just can’t. but i don’t get it if you think i care whether or not you have a kid already. if anything, i find it so admirable how you manage to work this job and take care of her. and it seems like you do a good job of it too.”

✧ “i–” you interrupt yourself as a soft cry errupts from your throat and tears finally begin to flow from your eyes

✧ you’re beyond embarrassed but you can’t help it

✧ he’s awkward about it, but the way he steps closer to you to rub your back is genuinely comforting

✧ his voice is soft and hesitant when he speaks up again

✧ “i don’t want you to be late picking up soyul. but i don’t think you’re in the best state to drive, if that’s okay to say. would it be alright if i drive you there? just give me the address and i’ll make sure you get there on time.”

✧ that’s the moment you decided you’d trust him, the moment you realized that with him, everything might be alright

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riahlynn101 · 1 year

Text

Whumptober: "It Should Have Been Me."

Set in the FNAF movie (2023) universe.

Trigger warnings: implied/referenced kidnapping and murder, children in distress, and grief.

Extra -

((Line I discarded, because it didn’t fit the vibe: It towers over Mike, but that's not a surprise, given that everyone tends to tower over him (except Abby, but she’ll get there eventually). ))

(Word count: 1,126)

((Day 6, only 25 more to go!))

Mike remembers the day his little brother disappeared.

He remembers riding in their mom’s car, side-by-side. Garrett still had to use a booster seat, which meant his range of motion was limited. This upset him greatly, as he always wanted to be as close as humanly possible to his big brother.

It was as endearing, as it was annoying to Mike’s twelve-year-old self.

He remembers arriving at the park.

It had been a nice day. Sunny with a little bit of wind.

He remembers racing Garrett to the playground. Mike chased him in circles around the large structure, the smell of mulch in the air. They played until their mom called them over for lunch.

He remembers not feeling very well after lunch. The wind had died down and the heat was slowly getting to him, so he decided to lay down on one of the benches.

He remembers telling his little brother to go play, and perhaps Mike’s tone hadn’t been the most kind, as his head had been killing him. Their mother backed him up, reassuring Garrett that everything was fine.

She fussed over him, asking Mike if he remembered to take his allergy medicine, and if he brought his inhaler.

The answers to both being: yes, his mom never let him leave the house without taking it, and yes, though at that point in his life, Mike hadn’t had an asthma attack since he was ten.

He remembers….being woken suddenly by the sound of screeching tires and his mom’s screams of panic.

The car ride home that night was silent. Blurry in his memory, besides his mom’s caustic side glances towards him. He’s sure no one can read minds, but if he was granted the power to read her’s, Mike would have never left his room again.

He remembers very little else.

The guilt slowly ate away at him. It was almost maddening. His parent’s sorrow made it worse. If he had a time machine. A single wish. A shooting star. Anything.

A chance.

Mike would use it to bring his brother home.

If he had been watching Garrett none of this would have happened. Headache or not, Mike had one job. And the years that followed weren’t kind to him. His mom and dad moved on (as much as they could, given the circumstances), and even had another child, Abby.

And, as much as he adored and loved Abby (and Mike loved her with all his heart, mind, and soul), the feeling of being a complete and utter failure never left. Mixed with the gnawing worry that his little brother suffered terribly following that day, made Mike barely functional.

But eventually, he too, moved on.

His parents died, and Abby needed someone to step-up.

But the guilt never left. It was a constant companion, right by his side, day and night.

He had been doing better. He was getting better.

“It should have been me,” Mike says. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there.”

The animatronic bear in front of him continues to stare impassively. The only sign that it’s listening at all is it’s one working ear twitching ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry I failed you, Garrett. I should have been watching you.”

“Not your fault,” a garbled, almost staticy voice rang out. “Tried your best.” A large paw pats him on the head.

Mike tenses up. After the week he’s had, with all the other animatronics trying to kill him, it would be fair of him to assume this one (possessed by his brother or not) also wants him dead.

“Good big brother. No sorry….forgive you.”

Its words are just barely coherent. He can make out his brother’s voice through the mess of static and the broken module, the thing once called a ‘voice box.’

Mike hasn’t cried in a long time. Not while being chased through the pizzeria. Not in Vanessa’s hospital room. And not even at his parents’ funeral.

The last time he had cried, truly, actually cried was….

He swallows, nodding. No words can express the weight that had just been lifted from his shoulders.

“Never blamed you.”

Unable to stop the tears from flowing, Mike breaks down. It would take years for him to truly process his emotions regarding Garrett’s disappearance, but the fact his little brother never blamed him, soothes Mike’s soul in a way no counseling or therapy session ever could.

“I…miss you. Everyday,” Mike says, stinging, watery eyes staring firmly at the ground. His voice breaks, wavering. “I never stopped looking for you. I wanted you to come home. I…I’m so, so sorry. You deserved better.” He fumbles to find the right words, mind racing.

A paw finds its way to Mike’s head again, giving it a short but firm pat. It rests there. He looks up slowly at the animatronic Fredbear. It tilts its head to the side.

“I…love you.”

Mike gives a wobbly smile. “I love you too. You….you can rest now. The bad man is gone. Abby is safe.”

“Good job?”

“Yes, you did an excellent job. Rest. Mom and dad are waiting for you.”

The suit seems to sputter, powering down. Its one glowing blue eye goes black.

“Goodbye, little brother. I hope to see you again, some day.”

He stumbles outside. It’s lighter now, almost daytime. His mind is a blur, and he wants so badly to sleep.

“Mike!” Abby yells, running over and hugging him tightly. “I was so worried.”

“Everything’s okay, Abbs,” he reassures her, placing a gentle hand on her head.

“Where’s Fredbear?”

Mike sighs, sadly. “Gone.”

Abby sobs, clinging to him harder. “It’s not fair! He was my friend!” She hits his chest and stomach in frustration (which hurts, but he fights down the urge to wince).

“I know,” he murmurs, because he does. Better than anyone else in the world (besides, maybe, Vanessa). “Let it out.”

She screams, pulling away from him. “It hurts, Mike. Why does it hurt so much?”

He bends down to her level. “Because he was your friend. It hurts when someone you love leaves you.”

“But it didn’t hurt this much when mom and dad left.” Tears drip from her eyes, and her bottom lip quivers.

“I wish I had the answer for that. If I could take it all away, I would.” He pauses for a moment, opening his arms. In an instant Abby is once again clinging to him. “I don’t have the answers, but I can assure you I felt the same way about Garret.”

“I wish I could have met him,” she whispers, head resting on his shoulder. “I bet he would have been a great big brother, just like you.”

Mike swallows down his tears. “...yeah, he would’ve been the best.”

#whumptober2023 #No.6 #“It Should Have Been Me.”#mike schmidt #Garrett Schmidt #abby schmidt #golden freddy #cross posted on ao3 #fnaf movie #fnaf #Mike and Garrett #Mike Garrett and Abby are the best siblings!!#i won't take criticism on that #Stuff in this fic is probably going to be proven wrong once the movie comes out #Garrett and Mike are the best big brothers #queue

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rubykgrant · 1 year

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(Here is my fantasy-adventure love story I have been working on! I'm just sharing the beginning right now, but I may post more later. I started writing this by accident, not expecting to at all, and somehow managed to make something that was surprisingly descriptive, and I even had fun creating it~ This involves a character getting an injury, nothing too gory, but there is a small wound and mentions of blood without being graphic. Just a heads-up! Fairly long, so be ready for that. I hope anybody who reads enjoys it~)

When I was still very little, and feeling especially unhappy, I left my home without telling my family.

I had no destination in mind, mostly because everybody knew my usual hiding places, and I didn’t want to be found. Not right away. I wanted to be alone for a while. Really alone, not just surrounded by people who were ignoring me. By myself somewhere quiet, able to think my own thoughts, enjoy my own company, and not cringe each time I heard somebody shout. All the shouting was giving me a headache that didn’t really end, it would just lessen then intensify, throughout the day.

I wanted to hide, but not stuck in some dark and cramped little corner, and that meant leaving home and going somewhere else.

I also wanted to make my family come look for me, to actually worry about me. That was selfish, I know, but I was young and upset. I was also filled up with another feeling, one I couldn’t find the words to describe at that age. I was somehow bored and hopeless, tired from all the constant fighting. Everybody in my family had their own problems, but took out their frustrations on each other, then sulked without finding a resolution. Nobody was trying to actually talk or fix anything.

Being the youngest, my problems didn’t seem as important to my parents and older siblings. I was pushed aside, sometimes literally, and had no way to properly voice what was wrong. It was like something in my heart or in my head felt broken. This was depression, I know that word now. Yes, even young children can be depressed. That feeling doesn’t care how old you are, it happens when it happens. I don’t think my family would have believed me if I tried to explain it to them back then, and even without knowing that word, I knew that I had asked for help before, asked for a little more kindness, and it was refused. I had also asked why my parents and my siblings were fighting so much, a true explanation for what seemed to be causing all this anger and anxiety, but I was not important enough to be answered.

To be clear, my family didn’t hate me. That’s the worst part, I know they loved me, and I loved them, but the love didn’t do anything to stop all the hurt. It would have been easier if they just hated me, but even then, I probably would still love them when I was little. You can’t help that, when you’re young.

Because of the painful feelings and the love that didn’t help, I reached a breaking point. When you are as young as me at that time, every decision feels like a very important life choice. Something that will change you forever. Obviously, as we grow older, we usually get some perspective. The decision I made to leave home that day was just the immature action of a child who wanted some breathing room, and later some attention. It still wound up changing me forever. I suppose that proves life is unpredictable.

While I was still oblivious to the things that were out there, waiting to happen, I thought my only options were throwing a loud tantrum or leaving.

So I left, and went farther away than I ever had before. I decided to try and go in a mostly straight line, so I could find my way back if nobody came looking before dark. I thought myself very smart for this.

I left behind all the familiar sights near my home, and at first, it was fun to feel like I was exploring a new area. I was on an adventure, which distracted me from my unhappiness. I intentionally broke several rules about wandering into places that were off-limits. I found a hill, one that rose up and turned into high cliffs. Normally, I wasn’t allowed to even think about going up that high. So naturally, I did. I should have stopped when I could no longer even recognize the shapes of rocks and mountains around me, but I was excited, and determined, and enjoying this sense of rebellious freedom.

I still could have gotten home alright, eventually. Then I got hurt.

I felt something sharp snag my arm as I moved around a cluster of rocks. For a short moment, I thought perhaps a small creature had stung or bit me, but that wasn’t it. There was something sharp and metal hidden in all the plant growth here, and it had caught my arm, above the elbow. It wasn’t very painful at first, but as I turned to see what happened, the sharp little metal thing twisted, dug in deeper, and suddenly my arm was on fire with pain.

I panicked, tried to jerk away, and that made it worse. The metal thing was, in fact, a barbed hook. Longer than the first finger of my hand, curved in a way that intentionally made it perfect for not letting go of anything it snagged. It also had a tangle of more metal connected to it, but these bits were thin and interlocked, like a chain that acted as a wire. This all snagged me as well, pinching and cutting me everywhere.

I didn’t know what this was. I had never seen a trap or a snare like this before. I just knew that it hurt, horribly. I also knew that it was making me bleed, and that turned the panic into terror. My stomach felt like a tight, cold knot. I finally figured out that I should stop struggling, or it would just get worse. I wasn’t able to rest in any position that was comfortable, no matter what I tried there would always be some part of me that pulled against the metal. After crying and then catching my breath, a new fear hit me.

A predator could smell my blood. I was so far from all my safe places, who knows what might be lurking out here. It started to get dark, and I did the only thing I could think of.

I started crying out for help. I screamed so loud it made my throat ache. Even if my family couldn’t hear me, there had to be somebody, somewhere. I hoped.

As it got darker, I panicked again, now knowing that I was too far from where anybody lived. I also realized that nobody lived here because it was unsafe, and it was unsafe because of things like the hook in my arm. Suddenly I was very aware of how small I was, and what a vast world I was in. I felt surrounded by emptiness… but it was a deceitful emptiness, because dangerous things were hiding everywhere. So much was unseen and unknown.

It’s a pretty humiliating feeling when life just seems to prove every thought you ever had wrong. I thought I could take care of myself for a few hours alone, I thought I could leave my home and easily find my way back, and I thought it would serve my family right to finally be concerned about me. Life had literally added insult to injury. The hook in my arm hurt, and even though nobody else was there, I was mildly embarrassed underneath all the fear. Insult to injury.

In my childish imagination, I pictured my family coming along, seeing me like this, and telling me it was my own fault, this was what I deserved for going off on my own, exploring unsafe places. I deserved to be hurt and trapped, shame on me.

In truth, they would be mad for making them worry, but they would have helped me, taken me home, and tended to me. Kindness didn’t come easy to my family lately, but the love was there. They weren’t coming, though. I was too far away, too high up. They must be worried about me by now, and probably looking in all the wrong places. Why would they even imagine I would ever come here?

Eventually it was completely dark, true night, and I started to think I would be extremely lucky to see tomorrow. I wouldn’t be able to sleep or relax while I was here. A big predator could eat me. Small predators could start picking me apart, and I wouldn’t be able to stop them. I might just keep bleeding until I died. Even if none of that happened, if I wasn’t able to get free, I would starve. My whole body hurt, I was terrified, and hungry.

The depression I couldn’t name seemed like a beautiful dream compared to this.

In the darkness, I reached out, feeling my way to the other end of the wire so I could try and detach it from the rocks and plants. Even if the hook was still stuck, I might be able to go home and bring the mean little thing along, if the wire wasn’t holding me back. It was agony to move, and my fingers were almost numb from pain and cold. When I finally found the other end, I realized the wire was connected to something large and round. Like a boulder, but perfectly smooth, it was made to be this way, and made to connect to the wire with the hook. It was also metal, and much heavier than me. Bigger than me, too. I couldn’t lift it, or get the wire loose, or free myself from the hook.

At some point, early that miserable night, a miracle occurred. I had no other way to think of it at the time. Later, I still consider it a miraculous event, even with all I’ve learned.

Somewhere up above me in the darkness, I got the sense that something was moving. Shortly after, it wasn’t entirely dark anymore. There was a strange source of light. At first it was a soft and distant glow, but different than anything I had seen before. It got brighter and bigger, before seeming to burst, shooting in all directions. The burst of light made a sound, and I heard it echo, sharp and powerful. The light was part of something, some shape I could see against the furious shine the light turned into. I heard a deep rumble from that shape, and then a crashing noise. A short distance away, something was moving downward, hitting other mountains, crushing the rocks. I couldn’t see it properly, but from that sound, I knew it was huge. The lights didn’t follow it down here. The thing groaned as it fell into the rocks, almost like a wounded animal, but it didn’t act like anything that had ever been alive. Just a big, heavy thing, like the metal ball, but it was falling apart.

I could feel the force of that thing falling slowly pass over me, aftershocks coming in waves, and with it a smell drifted over. I couldn’t recognize it, but it was unpleasant. It left a bad taste in my mouth. As the huge thing settled in the rubble it made, the glowing lights above changed. They seemed to quiver and flicker. As I looked up in wonder and shock, I saw a new shape moving. This thing was most definitely alive.

I had heard stories about strange things that live somewhere in another world, high above. They can sometimes look similar to us, but are completely different creatures. They are mysterious, and often very dangerous. They can abduct us, steal us away from our homes, never to be seen again.

The stories are mostly told to frighten little children like me into behaving, so we don’t wander far from home, or follow the towering cliffs too high up. I had done all that, just to get away from my family. Now that this was happening around me, I also remembered stories about these creatures making cruel weapons to kill us. Things like metal hooks and wires.

I was so high up on the rocks, the lights were shining down on me. Whatever was up there could easily see me if it cared to look.

After a moment, it did. The creature paused, hovering up there in place, and seemed to dip lower, rising back up, and pausing again. It was watching me. It was curious. I froze.

Another loud noise, another burst of light, another large object falling down, a little farther away. More rocks rumbling in the dark. The creature moved on, maybe deciding I wasn’t worth the trouble.

Then it returned, rushing down toward me. It moved with an intense purpose, as if it suddenly decided it had to hurry. I had no idea what to do, and even if I thought of something, it was impossible to actually do anything. I was still trapped. I was hungry and tired, no chance to escape or defend myself. I could only watch this creature get closer.

Soon, it was right in front of my face, and I was struck with an intense sense of familiarity that I never expected. The creature truly was similar to me, at least from the waist up. A head with a face, eyes, nose, and mouth. Arms with hands, and fingers. Still, very different. Clearly not meant to live in the same world as myself. The creature also seemed to be just as shocked to see me as I was to see it. Eyes wide and uncertain, but also amazed. Surely, this familiar appearance was a trick to lure in victims. Why else would something so alien almost mirror myself?

After a few moments of looking at me with disbelief, it moved away, rising upward again. I barely had time to wonder if it would move on, when it returned, even more urgent than before, and this time reached out to touch my wounded arm. I flinched, but couldn’t really do more. I felt the fingers, warm and gentle. Not directly doing anything yet. I realized, it wanted me to know it was trying to help. The eyes were pleading, no cruelty at all in the expression. In fact, it was worried more about my reaction. It didn’t want me to struggle and fight, making the wound worse. I held my arm up a bit, and braced myself.

It dug out the hook, able to maneuver the barb in a way I wouldn’t have thought of. It hurt, but then the pain eased, and I was so relieved I cried again. Then it helped unwind the wire from my body, doing some kind of trick by bringing the little links close together, moving them so they fell loosely away. This particular creature might not have set this trap, but it knew what it was and how it worked. Once I was free, the creature shot itself upward, pushing off the rock where the metal ball still sat. I thought about trying to find my way home in the dark, but with everything that had happened, the large objects that were now in my way, I wasn’t sure it would be possible. My “go in a straight line” plan wasn’t an option anymore.

I was also curious. You’d think I would have learned my lesson about exploring the unknown, but I had just experienced something that was utterly unusual and fantastic. It was impossible to resist trying to find out more. I didn’t think I would ever have another chance like this. The fact that the creature had just saved my life also intrigued me. It wasn’t an evil monster at all.

I followed it.

I caught up quickly, despite its head-start, and also despite my own injuries. I was built for swimming, after all.

Some of my fins were a little torn, but not in danger of getting shredded as I moved through the water. The wire had scrapped my skin and my scales, but thankfully none had been ripped off. The worst was the cut on my arm from the hook, but I covered it with my other hand, and could swim just fine without moving my arms. I wasn’t as big and strong as my older siblings, but I was a powerful swimmer for my age. Now that nothing had me trapped, I could work my shoulders, arch my back, and roll all that movement down through my tail, building momentum. Up, and up, and up…

We both broke through the surface of the water at the same time, and I heard the creature let out a high-pitched noise. It couldn’t breathe in the ocean, like me. That’s why it had been hesitant to dive down, and in such a rush to get me free. These beings didn’t just live in the surface world because it was their territory, it was the only place they could survive. I could breathe air, I knew that almost as an instinct, but also from experience.

When we weren’t out swimming through the ocean, we lived in caves with air pockets under the water. The ones that became out main homes were all naturally formed, but long ago our ancestors carved them out to make tunnels that helped the water flow through different caverns. Somewhere from the cracks in the ceiling, air from the surface would rush down. Somewhere below, from cracks in the floor, bubble filtered up. There was always air and water in our caves… but some tunnels didn’t wave the flows for water. Occasionally, me and my siblings would pull ourselves up to crawl across the rocks, trying to see who could go the farthest into these tunnels as a dare.

Nobody had ever gone very far, and we never knew if these tunnels lead anywhere. Partially because we would all eventually lose our nerve, but also because our parents would catch us, then scold us. If we wandered too far away from our pools and paths, and got stuck somewhere with no water, we might die. That wasn’t just an over exaggeration to frighten us into behaving. Being too dry never felt good… it was also an instinct, understanding that without access to the water, we would die.

Without air, this creature would die.

I remembered some of the old stories, about how our kind would have to pull these creatures from the world above deep in the water. Down so far that they would never be able to swim back to the surface, even if they got free. In the stories, this was called “drowning”. It was the only way to stop them from pulling us up, where we would meet all forms of terrible torture and evenual death, like being denied water until we became dried husks. At this description, I always imagined left behind shells when certain creatures molted, but shaped like one of us.

This creature had risked it’s life to swim down and save me. Now, instead of pulling me up, I had come willingly. I wondered again if this might be a devious trick somehow.

The creature turned to look at me, the sounds it made grew quieter, more even. Catching its breath. I hadn’t been sure before, because even though the creature was small, size doesn’t always matter. Now I thought for certain, this must be another child. Perhaps my age. I looked back, my face resting closer to the waves. My nose was still below the water, but the creature kept its chin up. With the urgency gone, I could tell it was was amazed to see that I had followed.

I watched as the creature moved their arms around to stay in place, and also… I wasn’t sure what to call it. The creature didn’t have a tail, like me. Instead, two limbs below the waist, and these limbs bent almost like the arms. It had another set of hands on the ends, but they were longer, and the fingers were stubby. This was how it moved through the water, using these two limbs. I wished somebody else was here, to see the creature. Somebody who would be better at understanding how it looked, how it worked.

The creature turned, looking around, and then swam toward the top of a cluster of mountains. Above the water, I could finally see what they turned into. It was a little like some areas of seafloor where I played, with small hills, and plants growing around. These plants were much different than what I was used to. It all looked more sturdy, somehow. Nothing flowed continuously up here. The air moved, though. Not quite like the water, but I was surprised to feel it moving at all. The air pockets in my home never felt like this. Those were contained. Up here, it was like the whole world was breathing.

As the creature swam toward a hill that rose out of the sea, I continued to follow, and we both wound up sitting in the sand, side by side. Waves rolled up around us, then went away, then came back. I had never seen water do this in my life. I had always been within it, feeling it around me completely. Even in our caves with the air pockets. The times I’d been able to see a clear view of the waves above me, at a distance, it had been in open water. Nothing for them to crash into or wash over.

It had a rhythm, a pattern, but occasionally it shifted and changed, the water pulling away for a longer stretch of time, and a rather big wave following, then finding the rhythm again. Bubbles turned into foam at the edges of it. Seeing the way the ocean, my whole entire world, moved up here was fascinating.

Out across the water, I saw the flickering lights. They were dying out now, whatever they were. I could see clouds rising from each one. The smell I noticed below the water was up here as well, and even worse. We had sources of heat in my world, and this smell was like when something touched that heat for too long. Burning.

I looked at the creature again, and found they had been looking at me as well. We looked at each other for a long time. Still getting used to the fact that we both existed, and also resting. We were very tired.

They were better at sitting up out of the water than I was, but that made sense. I noticed the creature had a scratch on one side of their head, above the left eye. They were hurt, too. The creature was almost entirely covered in some kind of clothing. We have clothes too, usually just worn for special events, or simply because we like them. Having clothes all the time gets heavy and slows us down when we swim. It must not be a problem for creatures up here, except right now, because those clothes were wet.

As we sat there and looked at each other, the moon began to rise in the sky. I knew the moon, even from a distance deep below the water. It was also connected to some instinct. The moon was part of the water, part of me, part of everything that lived in the sea. Tonight, the moon was round, bright, and pale. As if it wanted us to get to know each other better, the moonlight shined down on us.

Now I could see more details and differences between me and the creature. They had a slightly slender face, while mine was a little more round, but my chin came to a tiny point, and theirs ended in a small squared jaw. The features they had were defined, but not harsh. Graceful is the word I would have used, if I’d known it. Their hair was very long, made of thick curls. My hair fell around my neck, barely touching my shoulders, just a bit wavy.

This creature might not be at home in the water, but I could tell they had strong muscles in their arms. This strength seemed somehow fragile, though. Maybe that was because I could see another child there beside me, and sensed that no matter how strong a child is, it is terribly easy for us to be broken.

Eventually, the creature reached out a hand, and I touched it again. The fingers were still gentle. Nails shorter than mine, but more little rough areas of callous on the palms. Their face had a reassuring expression. They didn’t want to frighten me, even now, and I greatly appreciated that. They looked at my arm, not bleeding as much anymore. The creature carefully pushed the torn parts of my flesh together, attempting to close the wound. I didn’t know how to explain that wouldn’t work, as soon as they let go it would open again, but then I heard a ripping noise.

With their free hand, the creature was pulling off a shred of clothing. They already seemed to be torn and tattered in a few places. Once they had a section they considered to be the right size, the creature wrapped the fabric around my arm, tying it in a way that kept the wound closed, but still loose enough that it wasn’t uncomfortable. My other scratches weren’t as severe, thankfully. The creature still wanted to check me over, just in case. I have to admit, I was no longer worried about this creature trying to trick me in some way.

As they fussed over me, I was suddenly filled with a funny feeling of delight. I had been saved by a being from another world! They had gone to great trouble to help me, and were still concerned with my safety. Just as I didn’t have the words to describe depression, I didn’t have the words for how I felt right there. Many years later, I would learn the word “enchanting”. I had gone from feeling neglected, to desperate and forlorn, to incredibly lucky all within a single day.

What made me so special, to find myself in this moment? Still no answer for that, but maybe that’s alright. You never know when something special will happen. It doesn’t matter how old you are, either. Life does whatever it wants.

I was also falling in love with this creature, just a little bit. Perhaps not seriously, considering I was very young, and we had only just met, after all. Still, it was a very big feeling, and I had never felt anything quite like it before. They had rescued me, and were now caring for me with genuine kindness. How could I not fall in love?

When the creature was satisfied I was alright, they settled down again, sitting closer this time. As I watched them look out across the water, a new expression of utter despair filled their face. It occurred to me that the creature was alone, just like I was. Had they also left their home, and now couldn’t return? I thought about the objects that sunk into the sea. I’ve never been that close to anything like it before, but I’ve seen strange things made of metal and other material come down from the surface before. Some are very old, but others more recent. Stories told the creatures from this upper world make large structures for themselves that float on water. Some of them have loud, dangerous blades that slice through anything that touches them. That must have been what sunk before.

Now the creature had no way to move through the water without trying to swim, which wasn’t an easy task for them. We were also pretty far away from other cliffs and hills that reached above the ocean, so I doubted their home was nearby. The creature might have also lost their entire family when those objects sunk. Everything went down, deep into the water. They drowned. I was safe, but what about this creature? Who would find them? Who would help them?

I wished I could. I wanted to.

I tried to say that, telling them “I don’t know who you are, or what happened to you, but you saved me. Thank you for that. Do you know where your home is? Please, tell me how to help you,”

The creature’s attention was back on me, curious and confused. They made new noises, and it was clear we had different languages. We couldn’t understand each other with words, but… I thought about how they had communicated wanting to help me with their face and movements. I tried to do that.

I clasped one of their hands with my own, and brought it over to touch my injured arm, then pressed the hand to my chest, while smiling.

You helped me. Thank you.

They smiled back, and seeing the joy in that smile, I fell a little more in love. Yes, foolish and childish, but forgive me. I was foolish and a child.

I moved our hands toward the creature, until it touched their chest. My other hand, with the arm that had been bandaged, reached out to touch the same spot on their arm, above the elbow. They had no injury there, but I hoped I was clear.

I want to help you now.

The creature made a sound, almost like when they burst through the water earlier. Their head bent forward a little, and I saw their shoulders shake. They were crying. I had done the same, many times in my life. I knew how it looked, and how it felt. They leaned forward, just a bit, and the creature let me hold them in an embrace. We were different beings from different worlds, but we were also two children that were hurt, and lost, and alone. So, we understood enough to try and comfort each other. They might have just lost their whole family. Even though mine made me sad and angry, I would not want to lose any of them.

Thinking of my family made me wish I could communicate how I felt with them like this. I wished we could all comfort each other, find a way to understand each other. Two different creatures who had only known each other for an hour and didn’t speak the same language were figuring it out. Maybe there was hope with my family.

Soon, the creature took a deep breath, calming down. They briefly squeezed their arms around me, just a bit tighter, before moving away. It was a physical sign of gratitude. Now they looked like they were trying to think of what to do next.

The creature could see the area better thanks to the moon, and they motioned to me that they needed to find a safe place to rest. I watched in awe as they rose upward, using the two lower limbs to move. Now it was plain to see why the ends of those limbs were shaped differently than the hands. It was for balance, and the creature was much better at using the limbs out of the water. It moved along the sandy hill, and I followed from the shallows of the waves. Things had also washed up in the sand, objects that must have come from the same structure as… I felt bad, thinking of the one who saved me as a “creature”. We didn’t know each other well yet, but I decided to call this individual my friend. At least, to myself. We could try to find shared words to call ourselves later.

#writing #my stories #mermay #merfolk

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