#i need to just. work out how to write longer things i think. maybe ill do the chuck strat and just treat the whole thing as a collection of

[jacksprostate]

yo dude i was really curious and i just read yr primal fear fic, just wanted to say that your writing is genuinely so impressive.. not a lot of people could take a prompt like this and actually give it so much substance, your stuff shows such a deep level of understanding of the media ur working with +intuitiveness.. like characterizing shit well from 90s movies is crazy hard and u like immediately got how to write an in-character martin vail so if u can do that u can do any thing im like blown away 🙈 cant wait to see what u do in the future with yr original stuff, youre a beast with the pen ✍️✍️

sobbing for real dude.... this is so kind... "shows such a deep understanding of the media youre working with" truly there is few better compliments 😭 the 'from 90s movies' part is hard as hell sometimes yeah... I feel like I understand the psyche pretty well but there's so much just general milieu that's easy to just... not even realize is relevant. Of course it helps that most of my readers are also not particularly familiar with the 90s lmao but. Idk I try to keep that post-fall of the soviet union pre-9/11 immense nihilism in mind. Fortunately I have some friends who have a pretty strong lock on the vibe for one reason or another who help too— I assume they'd tell me if it was a 'he would not fucking say that' situation haha. It's funny wrt Martin Vail because I do think I did him pretty passably.. I don't always mesh into characters well per se; like for Tyler, I think I understand him pretty well but it's still tricky to figure out how to actually word what he says — I'm tempted to outsource to @a-forsteri who has a goddamn LOCK on it... we should collab, bestie... but regardless yeah Vail was an interesting one for sure. You only get so much characterization of him in the movie, really. Thanks for reading and I'm really glad you enjoyed it, comments like this are what keep me going fr :')

[meanbossart]

i just need to take a second to gush about how much i love durge drow and astarion, they feel so fleshed out and perfectly written together in their fucked up wretched ways. They really inspire me to write more for my own tavs, hopefully one day ill be able to say im as happy with my own work as i get when seeing yours. I have to ask though, do you have any tips on drawing head shapes and faces? or maybe about wrinkles? i find i really struggle with that stuff when drawing and i adore how expressive and grungey all your art looks!

First of all thank you so much, I love hearing what people think of the two of them together 😭

Honestly you've hit on something that's quite near and dear to my heart, I love developing and figuring how to draw and stylize different faces to get the most unique, interesting looking results - everything about the details is highly rewarding to me. What does x type of nose look like from this angle? In this style? How can this eyeshape best translate to my art? How different does a face look when its making this expression? What does that MOUTH DO? etc etc.

In fact you kind of inspired me to put a little tutorial/guide together the last hour lmao and what a blessing it is that the two current subjects of this blog serve as great models here, being that their faces are basically polar opposites!

When it comes to heads, you've probably heard it a dozen times before that you want to think of them in terms of geometry and facets; my process to drawing them is pretty conventional so I won't spend too much time on it, but it goes something like this:

Obviously I don't do every single one of these steps most of the time, which is just something that comes from practice/developing muscle memory, but it is helpful to start off this way for two main reasons:

By making these guide lines and splitting a head into pieces like this, you'll have an easier time seeing and understanding it as a multidimensional object, and in turn, facilitate It for you when you venture out into doing wacky angles and lighting.

Making different headshapes starts HERE. notice how Astarion's "face" slate is narrower and longer, how my durge's jaw pieces sit lower on the head, how all of the same pieces came together in the same way but we ended up with one real pointy elf and a real brick of a drow - making characters look different successfully begins very early in the sketching process.

The next thing you want to do branches out into every day life: start noticing yours and other people's facial features. How does an upturned nose look from a high angle? How does the size of someone's cheekbones affect what they look like when they smile? How about when the light hits them a certain way? Does someone's lip shape changes when they pout? When they laugh? How does a person's hairline change the shape of their face? You do NOT need to creepily sketch every stranger you see on the bus, but get into the habit of actually noticing what people look like when you talk to them - when you look at pictures, when you watch movies - make a mental list of interesting ways mouths, noses, and eyes can come together in a variety of different proportions to make completely distinct looking mugs, and how they change depending on how you are looking at them.

Light and shadow play a HUGE role in how faces look, too, basically as crucial as actual bone structure does. As you see up there I tried to rough out how natural, head on, and underhead light would look on these two very different looking guys, and while we can see definite patterns, there are small differences that come to be because of the sizes and shapes of their features.

Here is a very, very basic look at how some of these features come to look the way they do, how they interact with one another, and how they compare between a blocky, rather conventionally "masculine" head and one that's much softer and slimmer.

Note please that it is not one or two characteristics that give a chaarcter their "look"; you can reduce a face to eyes, mouth, and nose through stylization and still have them be recognizable, but if you want to do more than that, you have to consider the whole package! Chin, cheeks, brows, direction of the jaw, slope and size of the forehead, depth of eyes, ridge of the nose, etc - I know this is probably far more than you bargained for, but if you start making note of a FEW of these things now and slowly add on, this will eventually become second nature to you.

Similarly, understanding how these characteristics come together will help you with rendering light and shadow in a realistic way, and predicting what their facial expressions may look like - if no two people are alike, neither are their smiles. :)

Lastly, remember that I'm no expert - I have developed my own methods and semiotics and yours may look slightly (or vastly) different, and that's fine! I hope only that by sharing this it has given you a base to work off of.

Anyways, I HOPE this has been helpful and not just the unsolicited ramblings of a face pervert.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! So, in G1, there is an episode where four Autobots ended up briefly turning into humans, called Only Humans. That episode was fun, but sadly, there were too much actions and not enough bots experiencing common phenomenons of a human body, which would have been SO fun! So may I request a similar scenario with TFP Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bee, and Bulkhead? But this time the times where they stayed humans were longer than that G1 episode, and during the time these guys got to experience all kinds of human body experiences like hiccups, goosebumps, throwing up, falling inside of their sleep, strung by mosquitoes, and maybe even a cold, so on and so on. And tbh I just want to know who do you think would be the ones to freak out ant goosebumps (think that bugs are crawling under them) and who would be the one to think that a 39 Celsius fever + a nasty throw up is probably normal for human body and no cause for concern? And to make this funnier I ask for a random unlucky Autobot to actually got to suffer from motion sickness (ironic, since they used to be cars themselves, and now they can’t even ride anymore without feeling like dying), and another to be truck by a tough cold/flu and had to suffer through unfamiliar symptoms like coughing, sneezing, chills, and stomach aches, and another to find out they have nasty allergies of a random kind and effect (these can all be more than one if you are feeling evil)

but of course the three kids are there to help them through this tough time— not without occasionally making fun of them a bit tho.

you can do this either in a story telling form, where you write out a whole entire story chapter, or the bullet point list regarding how different the reactions of everyone would be.

YEEEE! This request was fun to do! The bots are going to get the 'whole' human experience.

Hope you enjoy!

Human Buddy and the Kids helping turned humans Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead

SFW, Platonic, mentions of puke, Human reader

TFP

Relic accident. Enough said.

The relic, as it turned out, had the capability to turn anything of Cybertronain origin into the organic version of it depending on the planet it was on.

That was how the charges found their guardians on the floor looking dazed and confused.

Thank goodness they had clothes on.

After further inspection from Wheeljack, they all got the news.

The good news this was all temporary, they would turn back when the effects wore off.

The bad news was that this was going to last for entire week.

Which shouldn’t have been a problem… if some of them didn’t get sick.

Oh joy…

Ratchet

The Cold.

Ratchet was fine for the first day, though he was constantly complaining about the work that still needed to be done.

It was the next day that the symptoms came up.

Buddy and Raf are the only ones who manage to convince him to lay down and rest.

“Please Ratchet, your sick and need rest.”--Buddy

Ratchet trying to pass Buddy but Raf steps in front of him.

“Do it Raf!”--Buddy

“Do—cough—what?”--Ratchet

Puppy Dog Eyes activated.

“Please?”--Raf

“… fine.”--Ratchet

Buddy high-hives Raf before helping him back to his bed.

His immune system was new to its surroundings, easier for illness to sit in.

Worse that he was older than the other as well.

He was much more vulnerable to catch simple things.

Most of the bots and recently turned humans are worried about Ratchet’s health when he started sleeping more. But June and the others reassure them that Ratchet’s going to be fine.

Ratchet wants to work, but the kids and Buddy don’t let him.

Jack and Buddy oversee Ratchet’s temperature and basic medical supplies.

Buddy does their best to explain to him what is happening to his body, for reassurance.

Miko plays him classical music for once.

Blame it on the pitiful sick look on his face.

He expected some loud rock music but found it surprising when Miko began playing the keyboard softly.

Its an almost foolproof way to get him to sleep fast.

Raf sat by him telling him stories and helping him eat his food.

This wasn’t his best experience, but he certainly has much more respect on human biology and for the kids now.

Ratchet now has a mini human well-care kit in his habsuite.

Optimus Prime

The Hiccups.

Optimus was just trying some of the different waters the kids had been recommending.

“And what is this one?”--Optimus

Optimus already starting to drink.

“Sparkling water.”--Buddy

Optimus stops and looks at the water horrified.

“Why are you looking at it—OH! Wait Optimus its not ‘sparkling’s’ water is a type of water with minerals!”--Buddy

Optimus puts the water down but swallows the water in his mouth.

“Human’s drink minerals? As in the deposits?”--Optimus

“… I’m not explaining this one. Raf! Your turn!”--Buddy

Then they heard the sound.

Optimus was surprised to hear it.

Then he made it again.

He looks a bit disturbed.

He wasn’t voluntarily making the noise it was just coming out of him just like that.

Jack and Miko try to explain what hiccups are.

He gets a bit more disturbed yet intrigued.

This wouldn’t be so bad… if that noise would stop trying to interrupt him from talking and making his chest go bump!

Raf suggests ways to get rid of them.

They all go through the list until they reach the last one.

Scaring him.

They knew it was going to be a tough one, Prime wasn’t scared easily.

But Buddy had an idea.

A very dumb idea.

Optimus was talking to Jack when he noticed Buddy leaning on the railing.

He was a bit on edge seeing them so casual near the ledge.

They sat on top of it.

Then began tittering backwards until half of their body went to the other side.

Optimus is running to Buddy’s side trying to stop them from falling backwards.

Buddy just hung from their ankles looking up at him with a smug smile.

No more hiccups.

Problem solved.

He does try and scold Buddy for the recklessness… but he is also glad the hiccups are gone.

When Optimus turns back to normal, he insists to Agent Fowler to have better rails in the base.

Arcee

The Mosquito bites.

Oh, Jack had warned her about these little guys.

And now she knew why the kids were complaining about.

She wanted to eradicate every single one.

Arcee trying to squash some of the mosquitos with her hands.

“Why!”-Arcee

SMACK!

“Won’t!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“These!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Things!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Die!”--Arcee

SMACK!

SMACK!

Buddy and Jack already dosed with repellent.

“Felt that.”--Buddy

“Yep.”--Jack

The two humans fist bump while watching Arcee fail to smack another mosquito.

With some heavy rain, some had managed to get into the base. There weren’t many, maybe four, but they were enough to leave Arcee’s arms and legs littered with little bites.

The kids did get bitten too, but not as much as she did.

Arcee did try to use the repellent, it didn’t do anything for her.

Buddy and Miko help put anti itching cream on her, but she wants to scratch them all so bad.

When she thought they weren’t looking she would begin to scratch furiously.

Arcee didn’t know that her skin would show that she had scratched. She freaked out a bit when she scratched a bit too hard on one and it started bleeding.

Raf and Jack clean and disinfect the scratch which welcomes her to the pain of antibacterial spray.

She swears that it was the most painful thing she had to endure yet.

Raf decided to decorate the little scratches with band aids so she would scratch them.

When Arcee turns back to her normal self, she is relieved.

She has much more respect for the things humans have to do daily.

Will never tell Jack to suck it up when he has a mosquito bite again.

Bumblebee

The Motion sickness.

Oh, the Irony.

Bumblebee was a fast muscle car before!

He shouldn’t get sick when going over 15 miles per hour!

Now he was getting queasy in riding with Smokescreen and Buddy.

He feels awful.

Sweaty

Clammy hands

And something feels like something is trying to crawl out of his throat.

Bumblebee looking a bit pale as Smokescreen makes another sharp turn.

Buddy looks at Bee.

“Hey Smokes, you mind rolling the windows down a bit?”--Buddy

“Why?”--Smokescreen

Bumblebee groaning.

“Unless you want to see what the inside of a humans stomach holds, I suggest you open up the windows.”--Buddy

Windows immediately roll down.

Bee sighs with a bit of relief as the wind rolls past his face calming his stomach.

At first the two thought it was Smokescreen crazy driving that was making him sick.

But that wasn’t the case.

Buddy Bee and Raf were inside Ultra Magnus and he got queasy there too.

Magnus was one of the safest and slowest drivers on the team.

It was just him.

Bumblebee refused to leave the base after they came back.

He’d rather hang out with the kids on the couch and play games with them than go outside in another vehicle.

When Bumblebee returns to normal, he is so thankful the queasiness didn’t follow him.

He is now much more attentive to the kids when he is driving now.

His subspaces now have barf bags, just in case.

Bulkhead

Throwing Up.

All Bulkhead wanted to do was have the full human experience with Miko.

He went with her to a monster truck rally that Buddy had managed to get tickets to.

“Wow! I can’t believe you got us ticket to the rally!”--Miko

“Me neither!”--Bulkhead

“No problem, guys, just enjoy yourselves.”

“I mean I tried booking these babies in advance, but everything was booked or too expensive. How did you get the tickets?”--Miko

Buddy simply starts drinking their soda.

“Buddy?”--Bulkhead

“What you don’t know, don’t hurt.”--Buddy

“What?”--Bulkhead

“What?”--Buddy

The trio bought all sorts of junk food and sodas.

He found himself enjoying the time at the rally.

Everything was good.

Until he got back to base.

He suddenly became pale and sweaty.

The next thing Bulkhead knew, he was staring at a trash can with a bunch of mushy stuff with Buddy and Miko on either side of him.

Buddy had some of the mushy stuff on their arms, while Miko was rubbing his back gently.

The mushy stuff did stink a lot.

He felt something come out of his mouth and spew it into the bin, once again getting it on Buddy’s arms.

Bulkhead tried to apologize but it was hard to catch his breath.

Turns out a whole lot of junk food and soda was not good for you after all.

No matter how good it tasted before.

He doesn’t want to touch food while he is like this.

The kids try introducing him to lighter foods so he can at least eat something while his stomach recovers.

He likes the different kinds of broth they bring in.

When Bulkhead returns to normal, he asks Miko to stash barf bags in his interior.

He wants to have them just in case the kids need them.

Has so much more respect for them.

Will slap someone in the head if they mention to the kids to get it over with while their stomach is not feeling good.

[chosobeee]

𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐𝓼𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓞𝓷 𝓗𝓲𝓶 ♡

Pairing: Soft!Toji Fushiguro x GN!Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: Again very self indulgent, lots of fluff. Toji is WHIPPED. Extremely ooc--I just really love me some soft Toji, I'm sorry, I promise I'll do one where he's his mean little self to balance it out. Some cussing, mentions of Toji being a dick.

A/N: Yay my second fic! I got even more carried away with this one than the last. But I think this one came out better, so I'm not upset. Also yes, it is in head canon format, but honestly it makes me feel more comfortable to write in this format, especially after being SO out of practice writing. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy! xx

- Your work week has been a long and tiring one. Being promoted was something that excited you at first, more hours equals more money—which never hurt anyone, right?

- Now, a few months into the promotion, you’re starting to heavily regret accepting the position. Constantly picking up shifts for people who called out, having to go the extra mile all the time and never being thanked or rewarded for it. Truth be told, it fucking sucks.

- But now that you and your boyfriend have finally moved into an apartment together, you both need to work in order to pay the bills. Rent isn’t gonna pay itself. 

- Toji picked up a contractor job for some of the larger buildings currently being built in the inner city area—a job that paid well, but kept him away from you for longer than you liked. You’re proud of him, though, knowing he’s working hard for the life you’re slowly building together. The thought made your heart flutter in your chest.

- Stepping onto the welcome mat you had gotten as a house warming gift, your feet ached. Each step felt as though you were walking on shattered glass and upturned nails. Sharp pains shoot up your thighs and lower back as you dig into your bag to retrieve your keys. 

- Inside, you’re greeted with the delicious scent of an unidentified food being cooked. It was so pleasant compared to all of the other signals felt in your body that you immediately let out a sigh of contentment. 

- Kicking off the shoes that were now suffocating your feet and dropping your bag and keys at the door, you shuffle your way into the kitchen and lean against the frame. 

- There Toji stands, his back facing you, focused on stirring whatever is in the pot in front of him. You can hear him whistling a soft tune, one that makes the warmth in your chest spread to your cheeks.

- He was so… husband material now. You thought back to when you first met him, the way he acted. He was so much more cold, distant—abrasive, even. You don’t know how or why, but as you started growing closer, it was like a switch flipped in his head. Well, maybe not that quickly, but it still surprised you. 

- Not that you were complaining. 

- He became so sweet when it came to you. He was so reassuring, soft, and kind. He would give you gifts—and not necessarily expensive ones, but ones that held sentimental value. Things that reminded him of you, and things to remind you of him. He would call you sweet nicknames, take care of you when you fell ill, call and make appointments for you when you felt particularly anxious. 

- It’s precious to see him now, bustling about in the kitchen to cook a meal for you in your shared home. It seems so anti-Toji. The old him would’ve scoffed at this idea, claiming he would never be "weak" enough to settle down for someone like that.

- Suddenly sensing your presence, Toji’s whistling comes to a halt and he turns around, wooden spoon in hand. He smiles and raises an eyebrow. “Staring again, doll?” He puts a hand on his hip. “I know I’m pretty, but a ‘hello’ would be nice, too.”

- You chuckle, walking up to the counter and leaning on it for support. “You are pretty. And you seemed so peaceful doing your little house husband things, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

- He scrunches his eyebrows and pouts. Toji Fushiguro is pouting.  “We both know I’m the real breadwinner in this family.”

- Your roll your eyes and he points the wooden spoon at you punitively. “Now come taste this and tell me what you think, brat.”

- After you’re both finished with dinner you decide to curl up on the couch and catch up on an episode of the show you guys have been putting off for a while now.

- Not even five minutes into the episode your eyes are already growing heavy. The day is really catching up to you now. Sighing, you gently lift Toji’s arm and lean down, resting your head in his lap. 

- Before you even have the chance, Toji is grabbing the blanket at your waist and pulling it up over your shoulders. He keeps in in place with his arm while he combs his fingers absentmindedly through your hair, his attention still on the screen in front of you. Unknown to you, though, is Toji's face-splitting smile, always happy to be the one you lean on.

- You’re already fast asleep by the time the episode is over, and Toji is well aware of it, too. He smiles gently at your soft snores, leaning over you just enough to see your face squished against his thigh. 

- He lets out a quiet chuckle and shakes his head. He doesn’t know how or when it happened, but he is absolutely taken by you. He hasn’t held anything this close to his heart in a very long time, and honestly, that sometimes scares him a bit. 

- Carefully, he rolls you into a little burrito and picks you up bridal-style, carrying you all the way to your shared bed before setting you down gently and unwrapping you from your burrito prison. 

- Before crawling into bed he looks down at you once more, taking in the peaceful expression you wear while asleep. Caressing your cheek, he leans down and kisses you on the forehead.

- Every single day he falls more in love with you, and he’s almost certain you barely notice how genuinely deep his feelings run. He tries to make it clear with reassurance and gift giving, but he knows that he’s still not the best at communicating his feelings. But he tries, really hard. Just for you. Because he loves you and he wants to make sure you understand just how much. 

- He knows how hard you’ve worked for this life together with him. He knows how hard it can be on you, especially with your new promotion and his work hours being almost completely opposite of yours. He knows how much you care about him and this relationship, and it makes his heart soar. He’s had flings in the past, but nothing that’s ever been this serious. No one who has ever taken him serious. 

- You’re a blessing, a miracle. To know that he gets to spend his life by your side isn’t something he takes lightly. He’s forever grateful that you chose him, that you chose to be by his side, even when in the beginning he was more of a dickhead than anything else. And for that, he will always protect you. He will always cherish you.

- Slipping out of his shirt and sweats, he takes his place in bed next to you, covering you both up with the blankets and pulling you into his chest. 

- You breathe out a contented breath and lay your arm across his chest, bringing your leg up and over his. Snuggling into his side, he smiles. He turns off the bedside lamp and lets the darkness cover you both like a blanket. 

- He kisses you on top of the head once more before closing his own eyes, happy to be able to wake up next to you in the morning to come. 

[mountttmase]

Hii can i request something with mason based on this - i know youre writing a series now but ill be really happy if you could work on this bc you literally are my fav writer here 🫶🏻🫶🏻

You’re Playing Dirty

Note - thank you so so much love 💕 this is so incredibly short 😂 so I thought I’d post it just as a little extra to say thank you for being so lovely. Let me know what you think 💙 smutty part two can be found here

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 1.4k

Warnings - fluff & suggestive content 😉

Date night at Masons was always the best night of the week. Sure the fancy dinners were nice and you loved it when he surprised you by taking you somewhere fun like bowling or just a random drive but nights at his where you could hang out just the two of you and be yourselves made you happier than anything else.

You we’re currently in your pj’s cuddled up to him on the sofa as the last few minutes of a movie he’d picked played. You were both struggling to keep your eyes open and you knew Mason would be ready for bed as soon as the credits rolled but you were about to rain on his parade.

‘Come on baby, I’m ready for bed and cuddles’ he yawned, pulling on your arm but didn’t budge, causing him to pout at you. ‘Hey, what are you doing?’

‘You know we can’t go to bed yet, Mase. Your parents are coming round early tomorrow and I’m not letting them see this mess’ you told him, gesturing to the state of his living room but he looked at you with furrowed brows. ‘Come on, let’s tidy it up now and then we can go to bed’

‘Noooooooo’ he moaned, flopping down face first into the sofa like a child. ‘I wanna sleep. Let’s just do it in the morning’

‘No way, I know you won’t get up early and do it’ you chuckled, trying to move him but he was too strong for you. ‘Mason Mount, get the hell up’ you laughed and you felt his body shake and he tried to hold in his giggles.

‘Please baby, I promise you I’ll do it in the morning. I won’t even wake you up I’ll do it all on my own’ he whined, trying to get you to succumb to his way of thinking but you weren’t having it.

‘I’ve heard that one too many times to believe you’ you told him, resorting to tickling his sides so he’d get up. He erupted into giggles, trying to break free from your grasp but you carried on until he was sat upright again, grabbing you hands to stop you before pulling you into his lap again.

‘You’re a menace’

‘And you’re lazy. Now come on, you’re making this longer than it needs to be. We could be halfway done if you would of just got up’

‘And we also could of been asleep by now if you would leave this for tomorrow’ he argued causing you to roll your eyes with a smile. ‘I tell you what, how about a little competition?’ He winked and you noticed how his whole face changed from grumpy to cheeky in an instant.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I saw something on instagram the other day, thought maybe we could try it. If you win, then we clean up now. If I win, we do it in the morning. Is that deal?’

‘Depends on what I’ve got to do’ you laughed, and he winked before sitting you down next to him.

‘We kiss, but we have to keep our hands behind our back. First one to touch the other looses’

‘Oh you’re on’ you laughed, linking your hands behind your back instantly. Yeah it would be tough, but Mason was the king of being handsy and you knew he would cave before you did. He smiled at your eagerness, pulling you further onto his lap so you could straddle his thighs and kiss him a bit easier before he placed his hands behind his back.

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, love’ he laughed, kissing your cheek ‘you underestimate my abilities’ he whispered against your lips, not giving you a chance to reply before he pressed his lips to yours.

Kissing Mason was one of your favourite things. His lips were always so soft and warm and it didn’t take long for you to part your lips so he could slip his tongue inside your mouth. You tried keeping it light, not knowing know long you’d be kissing each other for but you felt your breathing becoming deeper quicker than you’d of like it to. The butterflies were swarming early and you willed yourself to relax so you could focus on winning.

You wanted to laugh, catching on to how ridiculous this whole thing was but you also wanted to win. Mason was as competitive as they came but you were dead set on proving your point so you balled your hands into fists and crossed them behind your back so you weren’t tempted to touch him in anyway. You could feel him wanting to smile too, lightly biting your bottom lip as he pulled back with a snap.

‘Stop trying to put me off’ he whispered, kissing your jaw as his breath fanned over your neck making you shiver.

‘Sorry’ you giggled, kissing his temple before his lips made their way back to yours.

He let out a little moan straight away that sent a tingle all the way down your spine to your core. You were sure he’d done it on purpose, playing dirty from the start but you weren’t going to let it get to you. Kissing him a bit deeper as you felt him shuffle underneath you, knowing he was getting turned on just like he always did. His hands were no longer behind him, but at his sides, gripping the sofa cushions and you knew he was already struggling.

He was trying to keep it soft, knowing if he got to caught up in you then he’d loose his cool and touch you, but you felt like you were in the drivers seat as you began to kiss him deeper and slightly rock your hips over him. You breathed a slight moan into his mouth as you felt him harden underneath you.

‘You’re playing dirty’ he whispered onto your lips, slightly breathless but you just shrugged.

‘No I idea what you’re talking about’ you laughed, leaning back in, capturing his lips in an impatient and fiery kiss, knowing he was close to breaking and you wanted him to as soon as possible as you weren’t sure how much longer you could last.

Your hands had broken free from behind your back and you were itching to run your fingers through his hair but you held back, holding yourself at your waist so you had at least some contact if he couldn’t touch you. You also figured Mason would loose his mind if he cottoned onto the way you were touching yourself in the way that he always did.

Mason was moaning and groaning under you, bucking his hips up as his hands moved dangerously close to you. You knew he was ready to snap and it only took you moaning his name into his mouth for him to forget himself and for his hands to land on your bum.

‘Yes!’ You shouted, raising your arms up in the air as he pulled you towards him to burry his face in your neck.

‘I swear to god, you cheated’ he laughed, pulling back to look at you with a pout. ‘This is so unfair’

‘Not my fault you can’t keep your hands off of me’ you chuckled, stepping off of his lap to see the visible tent in his joggers. ‘Now, let’s get up and sort this out’

‘I tell you what’ he laughed, standing up and grabbing you by the waist. ‘How I clear up, and you go upstairs and get yourself ready for me?’ He winked, reaching his hand down so he could pinch your bum.

‘Excuse me?’ you laughed, pulling back to look at him in the eyes.

‘There no way I can go to sleep tonight without fucking you first, and if I know you’re upstairs waiting for me then I’ll get all this done quicker so that way we both win’ he told you and you were definitely in the mood after you intense make out session so you gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before running towards the stairs.

‘Don’t take too long’ you called, turning back to see him tidying up like a mad man, stuffing all the rubbish into a bag as he straightened out the pillows. ‘And make sure you do it properly, I don’t wanna have to come down and do it myself’

‘Don’t worry about me. Just go away, and I expect you bent over and ready or you will be punished’

‘Yes sir’ you shouted down, hearing him laugh loudly and you rushed into his room, giddy with anticipation about what would happen when he finally made his way upstairs.

End

End

End

[billcyp-her]

PYROMANCY AND HOW IT WORKS FOR ME

Now, i don't claim to be an expert pyromancer, and i definitely dont know any asvanced skills with it, but this is how i use pyromancy in my craft.

- first i light my chosen candle

-> can be any real candle, yes even a scented candle, yes even a tea light candle

- then, once its properly lit (i usually light it and wait a couple minutes) i ask the flame if there are any entities present

-> I work with more than just deities, so i ask for entities. An entity is any being ("good or bad") thst is currently in your working space

- if the flame becomes higher or cackles or makes any sort of big movement/change, i take it as a yes

-> if theres little/no movement, i take it as a no

-> -> its totally ok. If you dont have any entities around you at the moment, they may come in later or may just be shy. Or maybe there's no one around, that isn't your fault. Think of it as a scheduling conflict

- after that, i like to ask if theres multiple entities (same rules apply) (i usually only ask yes or no questions but theres other types of answers for more skilled puromancers, i just dont know/use them)

-> if you want, you can ask if the entiry is a deity, and if it is, you can go down a list of deities you work with to figure out whos there

-> -> usually, you can figure it out by the way the flame dances, idk i just get a feeling i know who it is, but this might be a more advanced skill so i recommend asking

-> -> -> also, if you want to stidy the flame and the way it moves, write it down, and then compare it to the way other deities more the flame, that can help you figure out who is there faster

- usually after this, i just leave the candle alone. I talk to it about my day and other random things.

-> keep in mind some deities might be really involved and move the flame alot, while others are naturally more quiet and harder to spot

-a couple times during my session (esp if its a longer one) i ask if theres an entity there, because sometimes theres a different entity, or multiple at the same time, and i like to be aware of them,

- when its time to turn off the candle, i say a thank you to whoever was there, and if there were entities that didnt manifest with the candle, i thank them too and i tell them theyre more than welcome to use the flame.

-> to turn off the flame, theres many different ways to do it, i just blow it out, (theres a misconception that Deities get angry if you blow put the flame, thats not true they dont care)

--------

Hope this was helpful, let me know if you have any questions or you need clarification on something. If you have any post requests and want me to make a post on a witchcraft topic, let me know (send an ask, send a message, send a reply on one of my posts...) and ill try my best.

[writers-potion]

Hi!

I’m currently writing a fan-fiction and there has been a super pressing question for my co-writer and I.

How would you develop a relationship that’s been constantly one-sided?

Well, it’s not exactly one-sided since the character has feelings for the other, but was too hesitant to actually do anything about their feelings. In the fic we wanna actually have them get together, we have this idea that they somehow manage to go on a few romantic moments but nothing really screams “I need to be with you” if the character is in danger.

Thanks :))

Just to summarize the situation here:

Person A has had unreciprocated feelings for Person B for a long time. Person A therefore no longer actively express them (they may feel like it's better to keep their love suppressed rather than lose the relationship altogether)

Person B wants to reciprocate, but don't know how to express their feelings.

Find The Point(s) of Realization

This point of realization is the starting point where your hesitant character will now consciously and actively try to express their feelings.

The fact that your character has been hesitant for so long is proof that expression is not going to come naturally; they'll have to work for it. This means that through some incident, they need to realize the need to make that effort.

To make it more realistic, you can split this "Oh I love Him" epiphany into smaller parts, for example:

Realization 1: I think he's the best lab partner ever

Realization 2: Haha, he's actually cute when he does that...

Realization 3: I wonder why he's not here. I actually feel lonely without him.

-> Oh actually, I love him. -> I can no longer be the diffident, hesitant person I am. What can I do differently?

Trying to Express Their Feelings + Failing

So up until now, Person A has been putting more effort. Now Person A is tired and Peson B should try something if they don't want this relationship to end altogether.

Person B tries to approach Person A, but this will involve some failed efforts and hesitant moments:

Spending the whole day trying to ask Person B on a date, only to ask in a tiny voice at the end of the day

Sending anonymous gifts because they can't bare being "found out"

Worrying constantly about how Person A doesn't seem that interested anymore, maybe even trying to do things that Person A had done for them in the past

The Other Person Catches On

If you've had feelings for someone for a long time, and that person finally seems to reciprocate, there should be two battling thoughts going on in Peson A's head:

01. OH OH OH Finally??? (remember, they're going to be able to pick up every difference, every clue)

02. Okay, let's be realistic. After all this time? Not likely.

As Person B is making their own efforts at expression, Person A will slowly tip towards thinking that the time has finally come. Then...

The Final Moment of Confession

This is where Person B just "explodes", unable to contain their feelings anymore. This is often set up with some external stimulus, like:

Another person openly declaring their feelings for Person A

Them being in a situation where they'll be separated soon

Person A being ill/in danger, and Person B bursts out in an angry-confession.

[ravengards-rogue]

Ooo for the writing game, maybe Lae'zel and sick fic? I feel like whether it's her getting sick and vehemently denying it or trying to care for a sick s/o in her own. Unique. Way, it would be very entertaining regardless dfjlask

✧ tags : gender neutral reader, sickfic, silly.

"You dare try to bench me like a foot soldier?"

You frown at her. She's visibly upset at you, brows pinched and face more scrunched up than you thought possible. If she didn't look ready to smash you into the ground under her boot, you might think she's cute.

Well that's not fair. You do, still, think she's cute.

But that's neither here nor there. Lae'zel is sick and there's no two ways about it.

It wasn't a regular illness. When is it ever with you people? Some home brew concocted ailment from getting sliced in the Shadowlands - that even Shadowheart is having a hard time dealing with, godly healing and all. The symptoms are obvious, weakness and high body temperatures and nausea. No amount or strength or healing potions seems like it's going to cure it and drinking all kinds of antidotes hasn't been working either.

Halsin has some suspicion about it, but he'd need some herb that grows closer to the cities gate and it's a few days trip to get there, even using the shortest route. For the time being, though, it means Lae'zel is ill. It's not anything too miserable. Seems like a peskier version of a common cold and it comes and lingers much longer.

But well, Lae'zel is a warrior githyanki. You don't think she's ever been truly sick like this in her entire life. She's also very obviously miserable in trying to fight it off, forcing her way into remaining in your group and fighting alongside you when Karlach could very easily take her place.

It was fine the first few days, but you're positive that keeping her around in such a way is only making it worse. As her unofficial lover and the only she seems to pay even a little bit attention too, the responsibility fell on your shoulders to ensure that nothing too terrible happens under your care.

So you've been trying to wrangle her into her tent with minimal success. She doesn't like being told what to do and what not to do - but you find that you're unwilling to budge because you really don't care to see her sick.

You frown at her, perhaps unhelpfully. Sighing, you place a tentative hand on her forehead and try to ease her back against the soft mess of blankets underneath her. You think she growls at you, or something along those lines. Something biting and cautious leaving her mouth.

You can tell she's exhausted because pushing her back down when she inevitably tries to get back up is half as hard as it should be.

"Lae'zel," You say gently, trying to keep her from biting your hand off "Please? Just... rest for a little while."

You play up the desperation in hopes it sticks. She at least seems softened by it. In some way. You purse your lips trying to figure out how else to convince, her nose still turned up at you. Something alights in your brain/

"Y-you know Lae'zel, when one warrior falls injured it's not a sign of weakness but proof of strength," You stumble, trying to sound as convincing as you can. "And it uhm, gives other members of the ranks to prove themselves. So it's not...weak for you to rest. Just gives everyone else a chance to catch up,"

You try not to cringe at the sound of your own voice, awkward and stilted. It's a little ridiculous isn't it? But well - while Lae'zel is a lot of things, she cares about the pack as a whole. Her words, not yours. Teamwork hopefully speaks to her enough to get her to listen.

She turns her head to look at you slightly, lips upturned as she huffs what sounds like a laugh. Definitely laughing at you. You flush, preparing to give up.

Her hands reach up for your face, think fingers cradling your cheek as she brings you down to her level to kiss you.

Her mouth is warm and the kiss unusually tender. You chalk it up to sickness because you can't fathom any other reason she'd do it.

"Your useless muttering reeks of the wizards influence," She says, and it sounds affectionate. To your ears at least. Maybe you're imagining it. "I shall rest, lest you bite your tongue on your own foolishness."

"Thank you, Lae'zel,"

"Keep watch," She mumbles back, eyes starting to close. And, maybe this time you're really imagining it - but it sounds like she's asking you to stay.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Chapter 9- “I Know A Place…”

A/N: the penultimate chapter. I hope you like it but let me know what you think either way.

Warnings: mostly smut I think. Scenes strung together with a loose thread of plot. Some mentions of mental illness but nothing too detailed?

———

“What do you mean?” Matty frowned, stepping aside to let her into the room.

“What happened to your guitar, Matty? I haven’t seen you play it in a while.” She crossed her arms as she spoke.

He could tell that her tone was accusatory. Clearly, she must know something. But unless he can somehow find out what she knows, he has no idea how to respond.

“To be fair….” He turned around, not wanting to look her in the eyes as he lies to her. “I haven’t played that thing onstage in— fuck, maybe seven years now!” He walked into the living room space and Amelia followed closely behind.

“Yeah, but you always have it around. When you’re writing, when you’re doing work for other people…you always inevitably circle back to it.”

Ordinarily, Matty would feel touched and excited by how well she knew him, but at the moment, their intimacy made it difficult to lie to her. His efforts to deflect were not yielding the results that he’d hoped for. He began to pace nervously around the room. “What’s this ab-bout, anyway?” his voice cracked, momentarily, but he regained control of the calm pretense. “ Do you, like, need a guitar? I could recommend a few instruments if you tell me what you need it for.”

“Oh for fucks sakes!” Amelia sighed, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. She couldn’t believe the nerve on him. The fact that he was willing to feign ignorance disappointed her. But she wasn’t sure if the she was disappointed in him for trying to lie, or in herself for thinking that he wouldn’t. “why’d you give it up?” She asked, bluntly. “Why did you give that guitar to Marcus Fontana? And why’d you keep it from me? Why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”

Oh, fuck. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I- erm, he- wanted it. And…I wanted something from him. Seemed like a f- fair trade?” That was the truth. As vaguely put as possible. But still truthful.

“You gave it up to get Joshua and I into the event, didnt you?” Amelia was overcome with emotion as she spoke. “Don’t lie to me, Matty. I already know.” She paused, on the verge of tears, taking deep breaths. “He mentioned something about it when we saw him. I knew right away, but….it seemed impossible. Too grand a gesture. You love that thing more than you love some real people that you know in your personal life. You wouldn’t just do that for a stupid exhibit.” She shook her head, as if objecting to what he’d done. “But, I just talked to Joshua. You did do it, didn’t you? You gave your guitar up for-“

“For you.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think to stop himself. And now that they were out there, he felt immediately terrified. The silence scared him more than anything. The longer it went on, the more significant and dramatic his confession became. He needed to say something. Anything at all to make this moment pass.

“Is that what you came here to hear me say? That I gave it up for you? Fucks sakes! Alright. I gave it up for you. I- I- I gave up my guitar, one of a handful of my prized material possessions, so that you could go to this thing that you were dying to go to. So that you could have the experience, and meet the artists, and see the art that you have always loved and wanted to be in the presence of. There! I’ve said it. Happy now?”

Matty felt his legs begin to shake as he stood there, so he resumed his pacing to hide the fact that his knees were barely holding him up.

“W-why?”

“What’d you mean why?” He stopped again? in the middle of the room, turning to look at her with furrowed brows. A look that she was more than familiar with. Usually, it’s the look he would have on his face right before calling something, or someone, ‘stupid’ or ‘a fuckin dickhead.’ “‘Why?’” He scoffed. “Because I love you, Amelia.”

“No-“

“Because I fuckin love you. I’m in love with you and I would do anything for you. To see you smile. To know that you’re-“

“No, no. Stop.” Amelia shook her head repeatedly as he spoke. “No, no, no. Stop….stop it. Just- stop talking!”

Of all the ways that Matty has fantasized about confessing how he feels, the many scenarios that he ran in his head time and time again, he never once imagined her response to be “no.” It seemed improvable at the time. Now that it was happening, it felt like a huge oversight.

“You don’t love me!” She yelled, her eyes welling up with tears. “You don’t. Surely, you don’t. Surely you haven’t….felt that way about me and kept it from me. Letting me date other people. Letting me think that- that how I felt about you was unreciprocated, something that I needed to get over to save our friendship.”

Matty took a few steps towards her. “Amelia, it’s not like that at all-“

“Isn’t it? Really? Since- since when?” She stepped back the closer that he got to her.

“What?”

“Since when? How long have you felt this way?”

“Does it really matter? Love isn’t….its not something you can measure-“

“You’re not going to Matty your way out of this one. So just- just stop. Answer me. How long?”

“I- don’t know.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I can pinpoint a moment where I went from liking you as a friend to-“

Her eye rolls told him that he’d be better off not finished that thought. He considered her question a moment, in a genuine attempt to respond.

“Since we first slept together.”

“That’s was…” she paused, trying to count the time in her head.

Matty, of course, already knew the answer. “Ten months and two weeks.” He stated.

The confirmation overwhelmed her. Tears finally spilled from her eyes. This was vindication. This was proof, that this whole time, it wasn’t all in her head. The subtle touches, catches in his voice, the way he looked at her sometimes, whenever he thought she wasn’t looking, these ephemeral, impossible things that had, up until Matty, only existed in romance novels; they were all real. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t projecting her own unrequited love for him onto their interactions. But this was also frustration. Betrayal. The worst lie of omission.

“So you lied to me.” She shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. “You- you lied to me and you humiliated me. When I told you I loved you….you did every thing that you could to make it clear I was a hysterical hormonal little girl. Orgasm-drunk and confusing lust for love. I literally asked you to look into my eyes and tell me the truth and you lied through your teeth.”

Matty was shocked by the conversation that he found himself having. Was this a nightmare? How does him finally telling her how he feels turn into this. “No, no, no! I didn’t lie! I-“

“Even after you did all that…” she laughed in disbelief, “I came crawling back to you. I, I fell for it all over again. The whole ‘we’re just friends who sleep together’ act. Fuck- I’m such an idiot.”

“There was no crawling! You’re not an idiot!”

“Oh yes there was. There was. I was going to break up with Joshua for you. I told you I’d do it and you said no. And it’s my fault for letting you.”

Matty lunged forward placing his hands on her shoulders, looking into her tearful eyes. “Amelia,

Listen to me-“

“Don’t touch me!” She backed away, out of his grasp. “You claim you love me. I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” She placed her hand on the door knob. Looking back at him, unable to recognize the person standing in front of her. “You let me go on believing things that weren’t true. Every moment that we’ve spent together as friends, you were feeling something else. Was any of it ever genuine or ….”

“Amelia, wait. Please don’t leave. Stay. Let me explain!”

“Save your breath.” She turned around, opened the door, and walked out without looking back.

***

Amelia swiped her keycard, her hotel room door blinked a green light, indicating that she’d successfully unlocked it. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and remain there for the rest of her life. In fact, with tear stains still on her cheeks, she was mentally drafting the contents of the text that she was going to send Tobias and Patricia to let them know that she wouldn’t be joining them for work today.

“Oh my god, Joshua!” She yelped, nearly startled as she walked into the room.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” He said, zipping up one of his suitcases.

“Wait, what?”

“I didn’t wanna make this awkward. I was counting on you being with Matty right now. Thought I’d pack and leave while you were out.”

“No, no! Don’t be ridiculous. You stay. I’ll get a different room.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s okay. I’ve already started packing.”

She walked over to him, placing her hand over his to stop him. “Please. It’s the least I can do.”

Joshua never could say no to her. Relenting, he smiled and nodded. “Fair enough. You did cheat on me.” He couldn’t help himself. “Sorry. Regretted that as soon as I heard myself say it. I’ll ummm….find a flight out soon. Just need a couple of days to get my shit together.”

Amelia looked down at her shoes.

“ I know I have no right to say this, but, I’m gonna miss you.”

Joshua chuckled. “No you won’t. You and Matty will get so wrapped up in each other that you’ll forget about my existence as soon as I’m outta here” he walked over to the coffee station and poured some water into the coffee machine.“Which is how it should’ve been in the first place. What are you doing back here, anyway? Why aren’t you gazing into Matty’s eyes right now?”

Amelia sat at the edge of the bed that they once shared, her head hanging low. “Not sure I wanna gaze into his eyes ever again.” She mumbled, just clearly enough for Joshua to hear.

“What? You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Joshua, please-“

“Woman! We broke up so you could ride off into the sunset with him. Not- not whatever this is!” He threw his hands up in the air in frustrated. “I swear to god…..”

“He lied to me, Joshua! He- I can’t trust him. He kept things from me. He had every chance to tell me. Every time that we were alone he could’ve brought it up and he chose not to. That’s not the behavior of someone who wants to be with me.”

“Yeah, I won’t comment on the cheating cuz….what I have to say is unkind. But, I swear on my nana’s life, Amelia, if you let this man go one more time…”

Amelia laughed. “Don’t bring your nana into this!”

“I’ve seen the way that he looks at you. I tried to write it off, ignore it, pretend it wasn’t there, but I know what I saw. Matty Healy loves you so much that he- well, he made friends with me! Helped me surprise you! Just between you and me, Amelia? I’m not sure that I would’ve done the same if I were him.” Joshua smiled. “Then again he WAS fucking you this entire time so I don’t know maybe he just pitied me.”

Amelia thought back to every moment that she and Matty had spent together recently. His declaration of love now painted them in different colors. Every time that he begged for her to hold his hand as she hurt him. Any time that he freely gave her control, insisting that he wanted whatever she wanted. That he would try anything she wanted him to try and put himself

Through whatever she wanted to inflict upon him. Any time that he would seemingly gain new life whenever she called him a good boy or praised him in any way. And all the times that he would ache in desperation for that praise, send himself into a frenzy, if she withheld any words. Bend over backwards trying to earn her approval. All of it felt so different now. It felt familiar because she’d experienced all of it herself. She knew what it was like to feel what he’d felt. After all، that’s how she’d felt with him. Back when they first started their undefined sexual relationship.

“Hear the man out” Joshua spoke again, redirecting her attention. “You owe it to yourself. Maybe you’re upset with him. Maybe you don’t trust him, or whatever. But you love him. So, at least give it a real shot. That way, if you decide you don’t want him anymore, you’ll at least know you tried. You won’t wonder for the rest of your life. And you won’t date other men while secretly sneaking into his bed at night.”

Amelia’s face felt red with shame. “And I’m so, so sorry about that. I- will apologize to you for the rest of my life, really.”

Joshua poured himself a cup of coffee. Then poured some for her as well.

“You owe me this, Amelia.”

“Excuse me?”

“After what you’ve done to me. I’m invested now. You can’t let my broken heart be for nothing.“ he smiled, playfully. “What? Too soon? I’m trying to be the bigger person here.”

Amelia let herself fall back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and covering her face with it, she groaned loudly.

***

Adam pressed the “pause” button, feeling his knees wobble as he stood up for the first time, in, longer than he’d care to admit. He answered the door to a stoned Matty, eyes bloodshot, pacing nervously by the door, biting on his fingernails.

“Matty?”

“Can I- erm, I can’t sleep.” He looked down at the floor, feeling stupid for coming here. “Could I hang out here for a bit?”

Adam nodded, placing a hand on his friend’s back as he walked into the room.

“You hungry?”

Matty didn’t seem to hear him, immediately drawn to the video game on the screen. “Is this new?”

“Yeah, yeah. Picked it up the other day in New York.” Adam decided he was going to share his snack, anyway. “Matty! Stop fucking with - don’t! No!!! You’ll ruin my high score. You’ve no idea how long it’s taken me to get here!”

“I have some idea.” Matty pointed towards the circle of crumpled candy wrappers and empty bottles that had accumulated around Adam’s seat.

Silently, Adam walked over to his backpack and produced an extra controller, plugging it in and sitting by Matty’s side.

“no word from Amelia, still?” He asked, carefully, as if treading on ice.

“Nope.”

Adam waited to see if he’d elaborate. But the terse response was his cue to restart the game. He knew Matty well enough to know that if he wanted to talk about it, he’d say more.

***

“Amelia, please! We should talk.” Matty trailed after her as she moved from room to room backstage, giving a helping hand wherever needed. Not that it was her job to do so. They had crew members for that. But she needed to busy herself with something, anything at all, to avoid a conversation with Matty.

“I miss you.” He stated simply and concisely.

“Matty, please,” she stopped in her tracks, her back still towards him, “don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. I wanna talk.”

“Not right now. Im busy.”

Before he could object, Ross and Adam rushed over, “c’mon mate we’re gonna be late!”

Matty heard them but refused to budge for a moment. Hoping that the urgency of time might compel her to soften. She just looked at Adam and Ross apologetically. Reluctantly, he allowed his friends to push him in the direction of the stage, but his eyes remained on Amelia until he could no longer see her.

****

The restaurant lights felt too harsh on his tired eyes so he put his sunglasses on inside as he walked in. They only shielded his vision for a few moments though. Soon enough, he saw his reflection in a mirror on the wall and he decided that he looked too much like a rockstar, so the glasses had to go.

The hostess walked him over to the table where his party had already arrived. Ross, Jamie, George, Charli, Adam, Carly, and a few friends of friends who happened to all be in the same city at the same time, and, of course, Amelia.

The whole night felt like an out of body experience. Perhaps being hungover from the previous night was already a bad start. But Matty had ended up next to Carly, putting him directly across the table from Amelia, with a perfect view of her every move. he spent his night alternating between glancing over at Amelia, wishing that she’d look in his direction or that he would at least get a hint of how she night be feeling , and asking Carly about things back home, the baby, and catching her up on some tour highlights. By the end of the night, he was exhausted and disoriented. He felt embarrassed for even entertaining the idea of sticking around, waiting to see if she would approach him. But, if he was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t bare it if he did stay behind only for her to walk past right past him, without acknowledgement. so, after dinner, he excused himself and rushed back to the hotel, crawling into bed instantly.

Yet, once again, he found it impossible to fall asleep.

It had been several nights since Amelia stopped coming by and getting into bed with him. He’d grown accustomed to having her there. He missed the smell of her hair right up against his nose as they desperately pressed their bodies together, the feeling of her arms around him helping to soothe him to sleep. Who would’ve thought that he’d see more of her when she was in a relationship than when she’d finally broken up with Joshua.

He entertained the option of drinking again. But the very notion felt pathetic. So, he ended up in George’s room. Asleep on the floor long after he should’ve gone to sleep.

***

Tobias, Patricia, and Amelia’s eyes were glued to the door, impatiently waiting for Matty’s arrival. It had been too long. Tobias has already shuffled and reshuffled the papers that were in front of him several times. Patricia clicked her retractable pen rhythmically and tapped her fingers against the table. Even refilled everyone’s coffee as they waited. Amelia, on the other hand, dreaded seeing him.

To everyone’s surprise (and Amelia’s relief) when the doors burst open, it was George who appeared in front of them.

“Matty’s…well, he’s asleep. I- think he needs it, so I’ve turned off his alarm. I’ll fill in for him.”

Their check-in was cut short, only going over the essentials to make sure the stage building would be ready by the time that they needed it to, and confirming with everyone that the now well-oiled, machine-like system that they’d developed after a year and a half of this tour was going according to plan.

“George? Umm….How’s he doing?” Amelia asked as they made their way to the exit.

“As well as can be expected of someone who has confessed their love for their close friend of many years only to have their heart crushed, stomped on, and shredded.”

“That’s not fair.” Amelia felt like her own heart was being shredded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” George smiled softly. “He’s….don’t worry about him. We’ve got him. he’s rotating between each of our rooms every night, so we’re keeping an eye on him.”

Amelia nodded. “Good, good.”

“Can I just ask, just between us, what the fuck are you doing?” Once again, George had let his tongue go.

“Pardon me?”

“He told you that he loves you. Do you have any idea how much work that took him?”

Amelia rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d say that. You’re on his side!” She sighed. “I need time, George.”

“Time for what? The two of you have been obsessed with each other since- since- for as long as I can remember.”

“It shouldnt be work. Telling someone that you love them. It isn’t supposed to be this hard, don’t you think? Besides, he- he lied to me, George! He kept things from me. He made decisions for me. Assumed what’s best for me and what relationship I want to be in, and reached the conclusion that I wouldn’t want to be with him, all on his own. Without ever mentioning it to me. Do you really think that’s a good start to a relationship?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that those decisions he made, though misguided, have more to do with how he feels about himself than how he feels about you? Look- this conversation doesn’t make any sense. You should be having it with him. Not me.”

“I’m trying. But he has this….effect on me. I don’t know how to say no to him.”

“Then don’t. Say yes to him. Or for fucks sakes put him out of his misery.”

Amelia shrugged in defeat. “So, like, kill him? Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?…sorry. I was just making a joke.”

***

Amelia watched from the side of the stage as Matty held up the tech workers by hogging one of the machines. He wriggled cords, pressed buttons, and turned dials on the soundboard with a deep confused look on his face. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. Fuckin hell.”

“Matty?” She hovered over his shoulder and he crouched down to check the wires that he’d already check on seconds ago. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t get this thing to work!” He jammed it into the outlet.

“Oh, I’ll …go get George.”

“No! Don’t do that!” He caught himself being a tad too angry and paused, deliberately adjusting his tone. “I’m…trying something. He won’t like me messing about. Ruining his….psychotic ‘system’ that he’s so protective of.”

She laughed, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe I can help?”

“You can’t. It’s- too complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, right. Cuz I’m a certified idiot.” She turned around. “My bad. Won’t try to be helpful again.”

“Wait, what? Amelia! That’s not what I meant!”

“Fuck off.” She yelled out as she made her way out of the room.

***

Amelia set her book, face down, onto the duvet slowly, careful not to make any noise. She hadn’t ordered any room service, or contacted the front desk to send anything up to her room. She checked her phone for any texts or missed calls from anyone who might have tried to reach her through other means first, but nothing came up. This is why she hates being a woman, traveling solo, in strange places with dubious door locks.

She tiptoed over to the door, taking a peek. Shaking her head and cursing under her breath, she opened the door.

“Matty, what’re you doing here?”

He leaned against the doorframe. “Full disclosure: I’m a little bit buzzed right now. Not like off my tits or anything. But I’ve had a couple of drinks. if you send me away, I’ll understand.”

“Come in and be quiet. It’s late.” As always, she never could say no to him.

“I- I just wanted to come over here and say I’m sorry. I can’t stand the thought of you being angry at me. It makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t sleep at night. I feel so- I don’t even know.” He shrugged, feeling suddenly helpless after making a dramatic entrance. His confidence was deflating as he looked into her eyes. He took a few hesitant steps, and, to his surprise, she didn’t back away.

“What I’m about to say…. I probably wouldn’t say completely sober,” he stepped even closer, more confidently now. “but- I think- the fact that you’re upset with me means that you love me, too. You love me, still. If you’d moved on by now, this wouldn’t be so difficult. You’d just….gently let me down and we’d move on.”

Amelia felt tears prickling her eyes.

“I get it. I’m a dickhead. I just wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to wait until things were perfect. Not while I’m in the middle of a public crucifixion. I- I’ve ruined everyone who’s been associated with me. I mean, you’ve seen the Charli and Rina nonsense. And Jack, and..people I haven’t spoken to in ages….im on this insane tour where I try to mother a naked body double of myself onstage every night for some reason.” He giggled at his own words. “And- well, you know my state of mind. I just didn’t want you getting caught up in all that. I didn’t want to bring you down with me. I promise I wasn’t trying to hide things from you or make you choices for you. I- I just wanted to spare you the burden of…well, me.”

He looked her directly in the eyes, gently holding her by the shoulders. “I love you, Amelia. Forgive me?” He whispered, wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his finger. “Yeah? Say you forgive me please?” He dipped his head down, his nose brushing against hers. “Love me? Please?”

He kissed her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut, leaning into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His kissing grew desperate, whining and moaning into her mouth. She bit his lower lip, her hands roaming the hair on the back of his head.

He pulled away, regretful that his lungs couldn’t hold out even longer, and smiled against her lips.

“So, does this mean.. that I’m forgiven?”

Instead of responding, Amelia pulled him into her bed. She leaned further back the more that he inched closer, kissing her once more, until she was lying flat on her back and he was hovering over her.

Their clothes quickly discarded in a heap by the foot of the bed, Matty kissed up and down her body, hungrily, his breath hot against her skin, as he whispered “I love you” and “I’ve missed you” over and over like a prayer. His fingers ran down her sides, raising goosebumps all over her skin, his hands would find her breasts as he kissed below her stomach, and grab her hips as he kissed her neck, she was a mess by time that he’d dipped below her waist.

“May I please taste you?” He asked, softly, glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

“God, what’re you waiting for?” She pushed his face down between her legs, perhaps a little too aggressively. Matty’s chuckle was muffled by her skin, she felt the air of his breath in her core and throughout her whole body.

“Oh- fuck- that’s…so good.” She sighed, her eyes closed, a smile on her face.

Matty made quick work of sucking and licking into her, just the way that he knew she liked. Her body jumped abruptly when she felt his mouth on her clit, moaning unabashedly.

The wet sounds that his mouth made of her cunt, coupled with her moaning and whining, made Matty lightheaded with arousal. His own hips pushed instinctively into the bed as he attempted to steady hers.

“M-matty?”

Amelia tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to hear her. “Matty, honey?” She paused to admire the blissful look in his eyes and the glistening of his face. He was growing more eager to please her by the second, losing all sense of himself, sinking into submission.

“I- umm…need you inside me. Can’t wait any longer.”

Still panting, Matty nodded and propped himself up quickly, anxious to do as she says.

“Oh. Erm….condom.” He whispered, looking around for his discarded jeans.

“Check the nightstand, baby. It’s closer anyway.”

Matty fumbled and slipped in his attempt to slide over to the side of the bed, his entire body shaking and anxious. Amelia giggled at the mess that he’d been reduced to.

“You stay put, I’ll get it.”

“I can do -“

“Don’t you dare move okay?”

She handed him the packet, noticing that his receiving hand was trembling, she scanned his face carefully for a moment. “It’s okay. I’ll do it.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks turned read as he watched her roll it onto him.

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

It always amazed her how their bodies responded differently. For Amelia, being with Matty was freeing because it felt safe, steady, the unpredictability never worried her because at the forefront of her mind was the fact that, no matter what happened next, it was never going to hurt her. Matty’s desire, on the other hand, was different. Intense, wild, almost frenetic.

She clutched the duvet with her fists as he pushed into her, watching him throw his head back and groan in pleasure. All the anticipation that had him shaking had now come to a head. His body overwhelmed with stimulation from

Head to toe he remained perfectly still for a moment.

“Fuck…you’re so-“ his words dissolved into a gasp of pleasure feeling her stretch around him. “Tight.” He finally let out, smiling.

“Perfect for me.”

She’d forgotten just how perfectly their bodies fit together, how precise the movement of his hips could be, how well he’d knew her movements and preferences. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest and feeling the weight of his body on top of hers.

Matty buried his face in the space between her neck and her shoulder, moaning and whining into her ear as his hips rolled against hers. The sound of his voice and the shockwaves of pleasure overtook her.

“M-matty, I’m gonna cum.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before he felt her clench around him, her body straining against the weight of his.

His own pleasure followed closely after, feeling her cum all over his cock was just enough to tip him over the edge.

“May I-“

“Yes, go on, Matty. Cum for me.”

His face in the crook of her neck, she felt his thrusts grow harder, less intentional, he moaned out her name as he let go.

They both almost fell asleep in the perfect stillness, basking in bliss. It was a long time before either one of them made a move. It was Matty lazily turning his head to kiss her neck.

She smiled at the gesture, wrapping her arms around him.

“So, I think we have a lot to figure out now.” She mused.

Matty lifted his head ever so slightly to look at her. “Wanna figure it out over some dinner?”

She chuckled, her chest rising and falling under his. “I don’t think this conversation is the kind you wrap up over dinner. Unless you’re planning a very long feast. Which doesn’t sound too bad actually. I’m starving.”

“No, I know. But, we can start it over dinner. No rush, right?”

***

“Give me your phone.”

Matty blinked rapidly, looking down at Amelia’s open palm. she, on the other hand, stared right at him with an unwavering gaze. “Hand it over, Healy.”

“No.” He enunciated dramatically, trying, and failing, to his the grin on his face.

“What did you just say to me?”

Matty giggled, his sweet, melodic laugh almost wearing Amelia down. “Let me see, hmm….i believe I said ‘No.’”

“Alright, you leave me no choice. If I count to three and your phone isn’t in my hand, I’m gonna make sure you can’t take your shirt off and slut around onstage for the rest of the tour without the entire world seeing what I’ve done to your body.”

Amelia’s words sent a thrill through him, but he was adamant on winning this round. “That…sounds kinda hot, actually.”

Amelia burst into laughter. The sound of her voice always made him happy, even if he was rather confused at the moment.

“What? What’re you laughing about? Oi! Knock it off!”

“Sorry; sorry. I was just picturing the look on Jamie’s face when you took off your shirt and revealed big, bright red marks all over your chest and back.”

Matty rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically. “Fuckin hell….fine, fine. You can have my phone. Delete whatever you like, I’ll just download the app all again tomorrow.”

“Bitch, please. Do you think I was born yesterday?”

Amelia unironically calling him ‘bitch’ amused him endlessly. “What- did you just call me?”

He asked in between giggles, but she was too engrossed in her work.

“Alright. So, I’ve changed your Twitter password. Now I’m going to delete the app. On to Instagram….”

“Fuckin hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” He admitted without a fight.

“It’s for your own good, you know. Alright, I’m done with Instagram. Now, I’ll change your Apple ID Password.”

Matty plopped down on the bed dramatically. Whining and kicking his feet. “You’re no fun! What if I want memes! Hmm? What then?”

“Use google.”

“What am I? a hundred years old?” He sat up quickly, offended by her suggestion.

“Here.” She handed him his phone back. “Don’t worry. I’ll text you memes every day. Unless of course I found out that you’ve been googling yourself.”

The petulant act crumbled away as soon as Matty’s eyes met hers. He smiled instinctually, already forgetting what it was that he was complaining about moments prior. He leaned in, kissing her lips, his eyelashes tickling her skin.

“Thank you. I know you’re trying to help.”

***

Matty’s naked body was drenched in sweat, his lips swollen, his thighs shaking almost as hard as the vibrator that Amelia had strapped to one of them.

“A-Amelia? I’m- ohhh… I’m dizzy.” He pulled against his restraints, too weak to even make them rattle.

“It’s cuz you’re so desperate.” She smirked.

“Please? I- I don’t know how much more I can take….feel like I’m on the edge of- of-“ he exhaled a puff of hot air “passing out.”

“That’s fine by me.”

“Fuck! Wh- what?”

His shock amused her. “Tell you what, let’s make a deal.”

“A-anything you want just please let me cum.”

“You’ve got two options. You get to cum right now-“

“Yes, yes! I choose that one, yes- let’s do that one!”

Amelia chuckled, “hold on let me finish. Hear me out.” She sat down on the bed to be at eye level with him. “You can either cum right now BUT then I won’t touch you for a whole week. ORRRR…you get another ruined orgasm and we carry on as usual.”

“What? Jesus fuckin Christ! Why?! Why- why won’t you touch me?”

She shrugged. “Which option do you want?”

Matty stared blankly ahead, more sweat pouring down his body, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He felt the pleasure that he’d been warding off for ages rise up again. His legs trembling.

“Co-could you- erm- turn it off so- I can think for a bit? Please?”

“Nope. You gotta think with the vibrator on you.”

He let out a pathetic whine.

“So…if I cum, you won’t touch me for a week…does that mean-“

She took mercy on him and finished his thought for him, “it means no sex, no hugs, no hand-holding. No physical contact of any sort.”

“No- no cuddles?” His eyes widened.

She laughed, taken off guard by his surprisingly endearing concern. “No cuddles.”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, attempting to scrape some focus together to weigh his options. “If- if I let you ruin my orgasm- when- uhh” he paused, his eyebrows shooting up, “oh god. I…think I’m gonna-“ he swallowed whatever moisture had remained in his mouth, his lips sticking together.

“If you choose a ruined orgasm nothing changes. Might let you cum tonight. Or it might be next week. Or next month. We just carry on with what we’re doing.”

“Oh god. I can’t! I can’t choose! You choose for me!”

She watched his stomach tighten as he did his best to repress his pleasure. “What’s the fun in that?”

He attempted to smile but his confused state of mind and loss of control over his body made it difficult.

“Okay…okay. I - I choose- no orgasm. Don’t wanna cum. Ruin it if you want. Or- or keep edging me. I won’t cum. Promise.”

“Awe, really?” She rushed over to him and pulled his dangling head back so they could lock eyes. “Are you sure about that? You look ready to give up.”

“I’m sure. No orgasm.”

He felt high on the sensation of her hand cupping his face and was never more certain of a choice in his life. He’d never willingly give up a week of that.

Amelia reached over and untied his left wrist, helping to bring his hand down to his lap.

“Here’s the best bit,” she smiled. “You get to ruin your own orgasm.”

“Beg your fuckin pardon?”

There he was. Defiant and dramatic as ever. The matty that she knew was still in there. She giggled.

“Mhm. You heard me. Whenever you’re ready. You take away your own pleasure.” She stepped back. To give him space and to get a full view.

“Why? Can’t it just be you? Please?”

“I wanna see if you’d have the guts to do it.”

He thought about her words for a second, responding with a weak and small voice “ I’d do anything for you.” He resigned himself to his fate and brought his hand down to the bottom of the vibrator. His shaky fingers circling the control buttons to make out which button was the one he was going to need. “G-gonna, Erm- count out loud. For you.”

She nodded.

Matty counted slowly, breathlessly, on the count of 3, he let go, getting ready to cum, and just as his body began to relax, he turned the toy off, the vibrations stopping abruptly.

He screamed in pain his hips reflexively thrusting forward, chasing the nonexistent stimulation. His cock twitching involuntarily, his own cum hitting his face.

“Fuck! Ow! Hurrrtsss so- much” a high pitched whimper left his lips. His hard cock, sensitive, twitched slightly. He fought the sting of tears in his eyes.

Amelia attempted to act calm about it, but a piece of her hated seeing him in so much pain. Even when it was pain that he’d agreed to and that she enjoyed. She rushed over to him, too quickly and worriedly for someone who was meant to revel in putting him through this.

“Hey, Matty…” she spoke softly, hesitantly approaching the bed, unsure if he wanted her close or if he needed a minute.

“I- did it.” Matty whispered, his voice slightly strained from his earlier crying.

She was relieved to hear him, hurrying to kiss his lips. “You did it. You did so fuckin well.”

“Yeah? I was good?”

“You were the best!”

He sighed, relieved. “Okay. Good. Cuz I’m quite competitive.”

Amelia laughed silently, shaking her head at him.

“Right. Let’s untie you here…” she reached over to undo his right wrist, and then his ankles.

“Are we finished?” Matty asked with a soft tone that almost melted her heart.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. You’re drained.”

Amelia and Matty sat side by side, his spinning head resting on her shoulder. Every once in a while, she would nudge him and bring a water bottle to his lips, urging him to take a sip and replenish the fluid that he’d lost. He lacked the energy to express his gratitude but Amelia knew he was thankful anyway. He didn’t need to say anything.

“Matty? Can I ask - I mean… you were on the verge of busting like a few times tonight. Why- why didn’t you choose that option?”

“You don’t think I wanted to?” He laughed.

“Well, why didn’t you? I gave you the chance.”

“Didn’t wanna go without your touch for a whole fuckin week.” He stated simply as if it was the most obvious truth.

“Dirty boy.”

He smiled. “Nah, I don’t mean that sexually. I mean this…right now. Just…being able to touch you and feel you touch me.” He nuzzled into her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Amelia.” His heart nearly jumped out of his body hearing himself say those words. “But…erm…Sexually is nice too, don’t get me wrong…”

***

Matty ran across the airport terminal, his backpack bouncing along, weighing him down. His feet doubled their speed as he got closer and closer to catching up with her. Finally, he tapped her shoulder, quickly intertwining their hands together.

Amelia jumped, startled. She turned around to find Matty’s hand in hers, his other hand offering her a bouquet of flowers.

“Are those for me? When did you-“

“Flower shop over there.” He kissed her cheek, his arm reaching over to take her suitcase.

“Thank you…wow. What’s the occasion?”

Matty shrugged. “Dunno. Saw a family buying some for…I presume someone that they’re picking up or whatever. Figured why not. You deserve flowers too.”

“That’s sweet of you, Matty. Did you have a good flight?” She squeezed his hand.

“Would’ve been better if you’d sat next to me.”

“I…know. But I figured you have a hard time with flights and….i don’t know. Maybe you’d want some space. Hann always seems to know what to do when you’re overwhelmed.”

Matty nodded. “It was good to hang out with the boys, yeah. But I wouldn’t have minded having you there. Did you have a good flight?”

“Perfect. Had dinner and a drink, put on a face mask, went right to sleep.”

Matty’s eyebrows shot up. “You and I handle travel very differently.”

***

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Amelia stood over him, lighting the candles one by one and gleefully watching him squirm.

“I- fucked up.” He winced in anticipation of anything happening to his bare chest.

“Be more specific.” She clicked her tongue.

“I’ve been ignoring all the rules. For over a week. I haven’t…really had a good nights sleep or a proper meal in ages.”

“And I warned you.” Amelia felt her frustration regain its power as she thought about his recently actions.

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled. “You’re not. But you’re about to be.”

Matty whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

Molten wax pooled in the middle of the candle, Amelia tilted it, holding it over Matty’s chest and watching the liquid tip over the edge and drip down onto his skin.

“Oh FUCK!” He hissed, his body jumping at the sensation.

“Eh. That wasn’t too bad. I should do it over your nipples now.”

“What- no! Please- OH MY- fuckkkk. That HURTS!” He yelled.

“Breathe, Matty, breathe. Open your eyes. Look at me…. There you are. Prettiest boy. Listen, you know you can tap out, right?”

He nodded, his pained expression relaxing gradually.

“Okay. Just checking. Now, gotta do it to your other nipple.”

“Christ! That- is-“ he gasped, his body shuddering in pain.

The more his tolerance built up, the more aggressive Amelia got with her wax, drawing shapes of different sizes and colors all over his chest? stomach, and circling the tattoo right above his hip. She had him crying and apologizing in no time. But it wasn’t until she’d asked matty to turn around so she could torture his calfs and underside of his knees that his worst pain hit him.

“Matty?” She called out to him as she set down her candles. “Matty, love, look at me, please.”

His sweat and tear cover face turned towards her. The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know.

“How’s your pain right now?”

“I’m fine.”

Amelia remained quiet. giving him a chance to change his answer. She repeated her question, again “how’s your pain right now?”

“Keep- keep going. I can take it.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes before getting up to blow the candles out. “You’re not getting this are you?”

Matty had to admit that his head was foggy with pain, Adrenalin, and the desperate desire to atone for his mistakes, but still, he felt he’d done nothing wrong.

“I’m tapping out.” Amelia announced. “I’m calling red. We’re done. This is over.”

Matty sat up quickly, his head spinning from the sudden movement. “What? Why! What have I done? I’m sorry! Amelia, please! I don’t wanna make more mistakes-“

“You haven’t made any more mistakes. That’s the thing, Matty. It’s the same mistake that you keep making over and over again. You burn yourself out, neglect your own wellbeing, just to accomplish the things that you think will make you worthy of the most fundamental needs.”

Matty felt her words like daggers to the heart. He knew this about himself. But he liked to pretend that it worked for him. Listening to Amelia lay it out for him so bluntly felt like a betrayal of confidence.

“You did it all week when you ignored sleep and food and rest to squeeze in every bit of work possible. And you did it just now by forcing yourself to take more than you can handle to make me happy. I pushed your limit on purpose. To see if you’d tap out. And you didn’t. But I know you were in pain.” She broke her own heart as she spoke. “I’ve - never - seen you writhe and bite down on the bedding so hard before.” She sighed, disappointed that her excitement had yielded the exact result that she knew it would. “I can’t have you treating yourself so poorly. And- honestly, we can fuck around with pain like this if I can’t trust that you’ll safe word out of the situation whenever you’re no longer having fun. I punish you so that you don’t have to punish yourself. What you’re doing, forcing your body through….its never gonna work.”

She watched him tug at the duvet nervously and knew that he was overwhelmed. She wished she knew how to help him process whatever was going on with him. The fact that this was reaching levels of concern beyond her capacity to handle scared her. He needed more help that she could give him.

***

Tonight’s show was amazing. Amelia spoke softly, running her fingers through his hair. She was half certain that he’d fallen asleep with his head in her lap.

He hummed in response, proving her wrong. “Was, wasn’t it?” He mumbled, his words slurring, voice laced with sleep.

“You wanna go to bed?” She suggested

“Wanna stay with you.”

“The idea is that…well…I’d be in the bed with you.”

Matty smiled, taking a deep breath and mustering all his leftover energy to open his eyes slowly. “Hi.” He looked up at her. “I just mean…we haven’t had a chance to spend time together in a minute. Just us.”

“I know. But you’re tired. Which is understandable. You put on a great show. I can’t imagine having any energy left after that…’People’ performance.”

A slow, self-satisfied smile grew on his face. He blushed at the compliment. “I was pretty good, wasn’t I…”

“You all were.”

Matty sighed, relaxing further into the bed. “The thing about us, Amelia, is that-“

“You just keep getting better baby?”

Matty chuckled loudly, his whole body shaking as he laughed. His sleepiness definitely made everything seem funnier. “I love that you can read my mind.”

***

Amelia’s heart pounded in her chest as she shuffled out of bed, rushing to the door. She checked to see who was knocking at her door at this ungodly hour. Relieved that it was Matty, she opened the door quickly.

“What on earth brings you-“ the look on his face rendered her instantly speechless. “Matty what’s wrong?”

“My head is- I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking. I’m so anxious. I can’t sleep. Brain feels so full. Like it’s going to explode.”

She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him and pull him in for a tight hug. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Matty. Breathe, my love.”

She gently guided him into the bedroom, rubbing slow circles into his back.”

“Oh, fuck. You were asleep weren’t you? I woke you up didn’t I? I - I shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry…I’ll - I’ll leave.”

He made an attempt to pull away, but Amelia held on to him, perhaps, too aggressively, “no! You’re not going anywhere”

She held his hand, leading him around the room, to bed, urging him to sit down. “Stay here. I’ll turn on the light and get you some tea or something.”

“Don’t want any tea, Amelia. I just…I want….”’

“What do you want?”

“I want you. Just you.”

She slid into bed next to him, letting him toss and turn, and wiggle around until he got comfortable. When she was certain that his nervous energy had stopped simmering, she pulled him into her chest listening to his breathing mellow as he l focused less on what was going on inside his head and more on the feeling of her skin against his.

In the harsh light of day, Matty’s panic felt even worse. like a hangover without the reckless indulgence of the night before. He knew he couldn’t continue to feel this way for much longer.

“I think I need help.” He suddenly announced, breaking the silence in the room as Amelia had busied herself with arranging their room service breakfast.

“What do you mean?”

“Professional help.”

“Oh. O-Kay. Umm…that’s good! It’s good, right?”

“I have no fuckin clue.” He spoke slowly, his voice getting lower and lower with each word.

This didn’t seem like breakfast conversation, so Amelia let go of the cutlery and sat on the bed next to him.

She held his hand in hers. “It’s good, Matty. This is good. It’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t know that it is. I don’t think im the sort of person who does well with relinquishing control to the authority of others.”

She couldn’t argue with him there.

“The very notion of therapy depends on someone having privileged access to my brain. Knowing more about me than me. Does that not sound utterly absurd? That’s fuckin mental!”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way. They don’t know more about you than you do. They just know more about whatever….psychological disorder you’ve got and they know ways around it or whatever.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “What if- what if that’s not true. What if ‘disorder’ is just a word for weird. Like, weird isn’t always a bad thing.”

“No, no.” Amelia shook her head. “Respectfully, nope.” She squeezed his hand “you are more than just your fucked up brain. And the fact that you identify your entire existence with the thing that’s hurting you is proof that you’re fucked up, kinda.”

“Right.” Matty nodded along.

“Look, you always say that you don’t want to be the kind of person who thrives off of drama, right? You refuse the idea that an artist needs to be fucked up in order to make great art, right?”

“Of course.”

“There’s always this notion that…like…the best artists were great because they were mentally ill. That’s not a thing. Except in tv and film where like characters must suffer to think great thoughts. People always say “oh maybe Van Gogh was a bit crazy but he made great art because he was crazy. That’s just not true! The guy cut off his ear!!!”

Matty giggled. “Gonna cancel you for using the word crazy by the way. Just wait until I tell Twitter. I’ll get myself uncanceled by feeding you to them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Or your example-“

“Right. The Burroughs thing. I’d rather his wife have lived than have read Queer. I get it. I get it. You think you’ve bested me with my own logic. Ugh. Fine.”

Amelia’s face lit up. Proud of herself for disabusing him of his misconceptions. “Fine? Really? As in, you’ll try therapy?”

“I’ll fuckin try. But if they put me on pills and I lose my sparkle, it’ll be your fault.”

“Please. If it were possible, your sparkle would’ve faded a while ago.” She reached over to kiss him.

That kiss was the final push that he needed. Matty waited for her to go into the bathroom after breakfast, and he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Louis, you alright? Mhm. Right, so, listen. I’d love to chat — maybe I’ll call you back later— but I’m in a hurry. I just wanted to ask if you’ve spoken to mom and dad? And they’re fine with it? Right, no. It’s better if you deliver it. I’ll just fly you out whenever. Text me some dates and stuff. We’ll get it sorted. Okay, cool. Cheers, then. Talk to you soon.”

[queen-of-scissors]

Hello there 💧anon

I don’t know if you celebrate Christmas but if you feel comfortable with it could you write something post imposter au where the reader is forgiving and all and the reader wants to celebrate but is walking on eggshells and is scared to introduce anything new as to not anger the acolytes and lots of comfort

Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate

İ. Must. Finish. This. Before. New year!!!!

Also i don't celebrate Christmas but i think i have a good understanding of the things thats done in it, so ill try my best ^^

İf i wrote something that sounds rude in anyway to any culture i apologise, feel free to correct me in the comments i love learning more about cultures :)

Happy Christmas or New year or Yule or whichever you celebrate :D ☃️❄️

masterlist

WARNİNGS: no specific gender, mentions of alcohol, angst with comfort, the reader is physically hurt in the flashback

___________________________________

Memories of the snow.

________________________________________

The warm weather of Dragonspine slowly caresses your face.

İt wasn't supposed to be warm, but then again, a lot of the thing that you lived through wasn't supposed to happen at all. Maybe it's because it's supposed to be codes, You had to start to get used to that.

İt hurt to walk, but you can't stop yet. İf you don't find something edible soon you might pass out from exhaustion, which could make you an easy target for your... Hunters.

Just as you think about food, you realize a sweet aroma filling the air.

Ever since you got here, you have been unbelievably lucky, maybe whichever god that's up there pitied you, or maybe this is a trap.

Either way, you slowly walk up the path, hoping to find a hilichurl camp and not fatui ones as the nice smell is getting stronger.

You couldn't help but daydream about the food you might eat, it doesn't smell like regular Hilichurl meat, which doesn't even smell at all. Maybe it's 'goulash'? The food for Dragonspine that helps you to survive longer in the harsh wind. Though you don't really need it in this condition.

Maybe it's not red meat, it smells less strong for it, is it 'sweet Madame'? You always wanted to eat some ever since you fell here. You tried to recreate it but all you could do was eat chicken that tasted like grass.

As the smell is getting closer, you slowly begin to wake up.

---------------------------------------------

"Your highness? Are you still resting?"

You opened your eyes, and your golden abode greets you once again.

The nightmare, no, the flashback felt so real. You could still feel the hunger in your stomach and the warmth of the food you were about to eat in the dream.

... Also the Sharp pain piercing through your right shoulder before you could even get your first bite.

"I apologize for disturbing you," the voice from the back of the door spoke up. "However we need to start your Schedule immediately, it is a busy day today"

Their voice was apologetic, kind even, but it still made your blood run cold by how assertive it felt over you.

"I'm up. İ will be out soon" you got up from the bed immediately as the voice started telling you what needs to be done today.

Your clothes were so uncomfortably comfortable. it was light and it wraps your body perfectly, which was the same exact reason why it felt like it got stuck on your skin. Which is why you didn't feel bad that you had to take them out.

You threw your clothes on your work table and your eyes got stuck on the calendar on it.

...oh it was New year already?

İt might not be in your own world, since time works differently between them. You wonder if it's snowing there? Perhaps it just started, or maybe the snow is thick enough to have a snowball fight.

You missed Earth. You really did. Even the times when it felt suffocating to live in sometimes. Even the times you were forced to have family dinners on occasion, well, those weren't that bad. You usually sat somewhere playing genshin when your family members scolded you for being on your phone.

Back then, you would kill for meeting your characters under the mistletoe.

... But now, maybe it's better not to meet them at all.

İts not that you are angry at them, you even forgive them after all that! They didn't know who you were after all, but you still feel like you are walking on a landmine every time you talk to them.

What if you say something or ask something that you are not supposed to, what then? They say that they have no reason to hurt you, but you learned that all of your current power is depending on your people the moment you set foot here.

You are nothing without your followers.

Your thoughts get cut off by the door opening once you finish getting dressed.

You are greeted by Tartaglia, who was smiling at you warmly, however, it looked so fake to you. You could almost picture him practicing in front of the mirror just so it looks friendly and approachable to you. You still appreciated the thought.

"Good morning, your Grace! Please excuse my sudden visit, I just needed to speak with you for a moment."

"...Of course," you decide to avert your eyes to the furniture, suddenly the numbers on the calendar seemed so interesting than whatever repent prayer he has for you.

He gets to his one knee, "oh, the all-loving and forgiving god of all gods, we are but merely weaklings under your strength, perhaps I ask too much, however... Err..." He stops and then continues.

"However i-"

"That..." You cut in a soft voice, you averted your eyes once you realized what you've done. "sorry I didn't mean to stop you I just..." you looked at him again "this doesn't sound like you at all."

You let go of the breath you didn't realize you were holding when Ajax laughs "Hahaha, is it that obvious that I practiced?"

His friendly voice eases your tension a bit. He continues with a more relaxed tone.

"İ didn't want to anger you more than I already have, and what I'm about to ask for might sound a bit selfish, so I asked Mr. Zhongli on how can I speak properly, without disrespecting you in any way." İt was his turn to avert his eyes now.

"...Why?"

Ajax looks back at you, confused "What do you mean, your Grace?"

"I already said I forgive all, what makes you think İ'm still angry?"

"...Well" Ajax gets up from where he was and attempts to fix his posture before continuing, "Forgive me if it's rude in any way, your holiness, however..."

"Your smile seems fake."

You freeze.

When he sees your expression, he turns back to Tartaglia again. The only-business part of himself. The cold one.

"İ know what we've done is unforgivable. You are truly the most kind to not even want us to witness your wrath. but please, no need to fake it to make us feel better."

They think that you are still mad, while you are just afraid.

You want to tell them. You want to explain and talk about it, but you can't even bring yourself to open your mouth.

Why are you still afraid? War is already over. They need to know that too!

So be it. İf you can't bring yourself to talk about that. Maybe you can prove to them you are not mad by showing them.

"...let's talk about that later. What did you need from me?"

He looks at you "ok then, uh... its almost time for the festival in Shneznaya, we do that at every start of the year to celebrate- uhh, you might already know,

İ won't be personally attending, of course! Someone needs to protect you~" he winks "But, my siblings are a bit hard to convince. They want to spend time with me and well..."

"Do you want to go?"

Tartaglia laughs again "I won't lie and say that I don't miss my homeland. But that's not why I'm here."

He smiles a bit, you swore you could see his eyes light up a little, but it's gone as soon as you saw it, it might just be the sun playing tricks on you.

"My siblings want to spend the holiday with me. İ know it's selfish of me to ask to bring children to such a holy place-"

"You can bring them."

He turns his head towards you as soon as you let those words get past your lips, "Realy?"

You think about it. They are just children, they can't really harm you. Plus it might be even nice hearing about the holidays.

"Yeah! İt would be nice to have children at the dinner table. İt might even help release tension caused by my presence." You thought out loud.

He catches up on that.

"You would be pretty anxious too if you were at a table with your god~" he teased.

You smiled, and Ajax could suddenly feel his numb heart all over again.

"Maybe you are right, thank you. Ajax"

Ajax didn't answer. You called for him but he looks at you like how a reindeer would look at the car flash.

"OH SHİ- AJAX BREATH!!!!"

________________________________________

You were wrong.

Now that you feel less scared of the things around you, you can finally see that your acolytes feel somewhat worse.

Your grand dinner table was decorated with the customs of the Shneznayan festival. İt was a beautiful combination of white, red, green, and Gold. İt was almost the same as Christmas in your own world, the only difference was instead of the big decorated tree, there was a statue of you.

That, and your acolytes looking at their plate in shame, as if seeing even a piece of your hair is sacrilege.

Even with their close proximity, Archons were still the least close to you in terms of emotions. Their usual chattiness from in-game voice lines was long gone, you were sure you could even make Zhongli eat seafood in this state of his mind.

The gods were, of course, sitting closest to you. Usually, no one else joins you on your meals but on occasion, some people are invited over just because of formalities. Even then, your guests sit at another table, which is far away from you but in a place where you can still see their faces.

Not in this situation though. You especially requested that they dine with you at the same table. Making Tartaglia the Target of the glares tonight.

This heavy atmosphere makes you feel like you made a mistake. Maybe you shouldn't talk about it and treat it as a normal dinner, hearing about your world might make them feel worse, and if it gets worse-

"Your highness!!! Look what I drew!"

You look at Teucer. He is holding a drawing he made of you.

You feel everyone holding their breath as you gently take the drawing from his hands. Will you think of it as blasphemy?

İn the drawing, you hold his hand and someone else's hand while all three of you fly through, what seems to be, Shneznaya's City... İn the arms of a ruin guard.

"This is so nice Teucer! Thank you so much!"

Teucer lets out an excited gasp, "You know my name?!"

"Of course! İ know a lot of things" you smiled warmly and looked at his other siblings "I also know about Tonia and Anthon!"

As the kids look at each other all excitedly, the room suddenly seems a little bit lighter.

"Yes, the Creator knows everything indeed!" Ajax tells them. "They also know when you don't eat your greens and that makes them sad you know~"

"You guys don't eat your vegetables?" You play along "but I created them for you"

Tonia stutters "b-but... They don't taste good!"

Anthon joins in "But you ALSO created fish! So we can eat those!"

You laugh, they are pretty smart, huh!

"Well, I have nothing to say to that! Please eat as much as you like from whatever you like today!"

The children go back to their meals as the table falls silent once more,

Until you hear a mouse squeak in the crowd.

"Your highness did you just laugh?!" Venti partially screams, with that voice, you understand that the mouse was him all along.

"Barbatos, have some manners!" Zhongli suddenly speaks "Did you forget where you might be, or shall I remind you?"

"your laugh sounds so refreshing, your Grace! Like pure water in the middle of a desert!" Sais Nahida, clearly happy for you!

"AHEM, might I remind you all that this sudden outburst can scare them?" Tsaritsa states politely.

"But we never heard them laugh! I think this deserves a celebration!" Venti says while getting up "İM GETTİNG THE VİNE!!!"

"Stop! There are children here!" Childe gets up to stop him.

"İ- uhm, it's really not that big of a deal?" You say softly.

"Please don't mind those idiots, your grace." Tsaritsa shoots a glare across the table. "They simply can't control their emotions, however, I must say, even though it is rare for me to actually agree with that drunkard, I also believe that this calls for a celebration."

Nahida continues before you could say anything "I also agree! İt's been a while since we heard your laugh again. A celebration for the bird, that has found its voice once again!"

"Speaking of the Celebration, is anything particular about this festival that made you want to open up to us again?" Falcuar asked.

"Oh yeah! Why is this cooolldd festival but not a better one? Like the wind-"

Venti was silenced by two very angry gods, and forced to sit down on his chair again.

"Well? Tell us!" The god of Pyro beamed.

And at that moment, after months and months of convincing, you finally felt safe enough to show emotions. Which made you feel all of them at the same time and...

"YOUR HOLİNESS-"

"İt's ok," Nahida smiled gently "please let it all out, you don't need to stop yourself from feeling anymore."

"I swear if you make a reference to pooping about it I will-"

"Hehehe, as you wish!"

-----------------------------------------------

You finally let go of -most- of your fears and told them more about the traditions in your world.

They finally understand your point of view. They approach you gently now.

Nahida suggested babyproof your abode so you don't feel any accidental physical pain that reminds you of those times. İt's up to you to accept or not.

The bubbly types try not to do sudden things that May scare you (Yoimiya even tries to find a way to make soundless fireworks (failed))

And most of all, people don't beg for forgiveness every time they see you now!

However, you couldn't stop them from celebrating this day as the day of your smile. They give presents to each other as a way to bring a smile to their, and your, face. They also stole some of the traditions in your world just so it makes you feel more at home.

They hope that you will smile and be happy the next year as well :)

❄️🎉Happy New year, creator!!!🎉❄️

[ghostieyanyan]

I really love your rock musician MC headcanons. Now I would like to imagine what would happen if the rest of the Yandere boys find out about their secret hobby. I imagined that MC is passionate about their music and wants to make it big as an alt rock singer one day but they feel like they aren’t ready to show their talent to anyone. One scenario I could think of is when the Octotrio heard them singing passionately in the night at Ramshackle and they offer them to sing at the lounge since they became entranced by MC’s voice. Azul I imagined must be interested in taking away MCs voice, Jade intrigued that the shy MC he knew secretly loves punk rock music while Floyd is just excited about Shrimpy’s little hobby. Another one is when Cater took notice of their musical talent and records it. Then offers MC to join the light music club or something.

yessss i love itt!!!

im probably just going to do the octotrio here and maybe a next post ill do cater or even the music club next time. unless you guys really want it xD

this honestly took me a while to make cause i got distracted a lot and it took me a while for ideas on what they'll do. i had to revise it a lot. plus i made it longer than it would have been so i hope you guys enjoy it.

~Musical!Mc~

Yan!jade x mc

Yan!azul x mc

Yan!floyd x mc

Tw: yandere, stalking, manipulation, drugs (potions/spells), pet-play, nsfw (its hinted), threats, mention death/killing

~~~~~

its a funny story on how they found out that you could sing.

Jade was going through the wood by the Ramshackle, looking for mushrooms and heard a sweet melody.

eels are very curious. well most importantly, this one is. He's smart enough to know to sneak and be caution on where he steps to not scare off this adorable, sweet, poorly-guarded song bird. He's grateful for being quiet.

Jade Leech found you. You were on the back porch, singing your heart out and occasionally stopping to write something down.

He was half tempted to just keep you to himself but knowing azul and Floyd, they will find out eventually. so he'll have been chances with sharing you than keeping you hinted.

For this scenario at least..

Azul will love to hear about this~

~~~

Azul

He is over the moon to finding out you could sing. so many possibilities form in his head.

a part of him wants you to keep your voice but another part wants to take it away.

he could take your voice for another person who will pay anything for a performer's voice and milk them dried until they are begging to get their original voice back. i mean, having fame isn't a walk in the park.

anything could happen to you if you became a star! it'll start pleasant. sweet comments and cheers for your amazing hard work and performance. then... it'll get creepy and concerning. like strange comments coming up and saying some unsettling things about you, "what would you be like when you scream?" Awful heartless rumors start. "they probably sleep around for that fame." "they aren't really that good." "we all know why and how they have everything. lets just face it." hateful messages, death threats, very mean people will bully you to come running to Azul begging to take your voice away.

You don't want to be a star anymore! please take my voice away!!!

plus if you were the performer, everyone will have eyes on you like you were fresh kill in shark water.

he wont let that that happen to you again. but he doesn't mind others going through that.

so with this deal, you'll have your voice taken and you will be his play thing, you'd be at his mercy.

since your voice is gone, you'll have to act or write down what you want/need. but the think about Azul is that he loves his control over you. if you need something you better show him. don't forget to show him how grateful you are to him.

yes, it was his deal to take your voice and take care of you but its nice to show him how thankful you are to him.

"oh you're hungry? get on your hands and knees"

"aww are you embarrassed with that outfit? your face is just red like an adorable star fish. Give me a show..."

~~~

Jade

when jade told Azul about his discovery, he demanded that he has first say on what will they do with you. he was the one that found you and that is fair. of course the other two will get their turn but he just gets you first. its only fair~

lets be honest, jade is sadistic. he'd wants you to struggle a little, with a voice like yours, he doesn't want you to stop talking so maybe he'll put you under a spell? like one that makes you repeat stuff like an echo? or maybe a spell that makes you speak in riddles? imagine all the pretty lines you say.

he would love to play with you for either one of those chooses.

if he picked the echo, he'll probably trick you to saying stuff you would never say. like how he's your favorite or that you hate the others. he would love to have you beside him, with your friends and you repeat some hurtful likes to the people you hold so dear. watching them leave as you look at him and them and him again. even who you cant say what actually on your mind, your eyes say other wise. your eyes, plead, begging him to say something to have your friends come back. to tell them its not true and you love and care for them so much. only to stare at his grin, watching your friends leaving you alone with him.

if he picked the riddles, he would love to have you on his nature trips. alone with his mushrooms fan, he would love to hear you describe mushrooms with that pretty little tongue of yours. but what's the catch? why would you help him with his weird mushroom obsessions. well maybe he'll help you with something else? if you help him, he'll give back your voice and let you sing your heart out like you were a bird being set free. will he give it back? no. he'll come up with an excuse and say "cause you need pronounces it right" Jade will also give you that stupid grin when he's knows that you have little to no control in his situation but still loves playing these games with you.

whatever he chooses, he'll write it down in a journal. "Little Pearl lines" he would want to forget your lovely lines.

he'll journal you like you were a mysterious creature that needed to be studied. i mean, with a spell that makes you tell riddles, you'll be speaking poetry at that point.

you'll be like his little pet. he does love the control aspect of all of this.

~~~

Floyd

he was not happy that he was the last one to get to you but oh boy would he make it worth it.

to be completely honest, he didn't really care about it in the beginning. it was pretty boring to him at first. like so what? you can sing. everyone can sing, its just wheatear you are good at it or not. but even if you were, its not as exciting as hearing, for example, you can fight and you did fight clubs. it was a boring hobby, to Floyd at least.

but oh boy did that change when he hear you! and you know how to play an instrument, you just nailed your coffin. he would want you to play for him and watch him dance.

"this is how i did it back in the coral reef but on land its a little difficult, hehe~"

when he isn't in the mood and just wants you to sing for him, he doesn't care what you're doing. he will find you and will make you sing for him. in the middle of class? apparently the headmaster needs you. you're eating lunch with your friends? he'll just come up and carry you away. oh! if you're hiding/avoiding/telling your friends to help you to stay away from him? oh... good luck.

how he treats you compared to the other two is somewhat normal, well as normal as Floyd's moods can be, but- don't you dare even talking to anyone. your voice is too good for anyone to just hear you speak. plus you cant share all the stuff he warned you about.

don't worry, he'll speak for you. why should you let him do this?

if you don't follow this one tiny rule? let say, he doesn't want to hurt your throat but he'll gladly rip out the other person's throat. he wont mind either. he'll even have you watch. he'll also have you clean him up after wards, its not his fault that this happened. it was all your fault, if only you didn't open your mouth, telling people about your little secrets.

Floyd is many things, unpredictable, sadistic, but he's also not-human. Untamable. he would want to hear your voice in more intimate ways. he won't care when or where you are, he will find you and hear your voice.

"come out, come out, where ever you are shrimpy~"

[luxxtuxx]

you’re comfortable writing it, you could have reader have adhd and that means she forgets things a lot, lots of things being necessary things like eating and putting on her glasses/ contacts, you could have her forget to eat one day and since hobie is busy he can’t check her vitals until he pays her an impromptu visit and sees that she’s super tired and sluggish and he realizes she hasn’t been eating (you could totally take this any route you want I just think it would be cute if he sets himself an alarm to check her vitals just incase)

Her Condition After Week-Long Mission

Im changing up the plot a little because I can /hj

CW: Hobie being sappy, ACCURATE Potrail of ADHD (I have ADHD, so these are sorta based on real events).

Little quip: does anyone else go to use words, but they are so often used in a sexual manner that you gotta rephrase so you don't sound nasty?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hobie knew of Y/N's Neurodivergentcy habits and made a pact with himself to not step in unless absolutely necessary. So the longer they were together, he always knew what needed to be stocked in the house at all times, and more ways to help during sensory overload.

This punk constantly checked on them, if he had the day off and they were hyper-focused on something, he'd keep all 3 different drinks at their respective temperatures and make sure they at least snack on something throughout working.

Then Miguel called him and told him he'd be gone on a mission for a week. Hobie knew it was important, so he tried to make sure they had everything in the apartment to be okay... with a kiss he left.

Day 1: Everything was normal, they woke up early, took a quick shower, started work, and worked all night, only breaking to go to the bathroom. They were so focused on work they had forgotten to eat something, and the light tinge from not eating they wrote off as 'Just missing Hobie"

Day 2: They felt a bit more drowsy than normal, but they made some eggs, ate half, and got distracted by the mountain of dishes, the dishes reminded them of the laundry, and doing the laundry reminded them to shower. And so by the time they remembered to sit down and work it was about....11:54pm Day 3: They had slept at their desk on accident so now, they were tired, in pain, and stressed because the boss moved the project date sooner. they only moved to go to the coffee pot and bathroom all day.

Day 4: They were knocked out in bed exhausted, they knew they had to keep working but they get so stressed out thinking about it. So at 8:30pm they grabbed hobies hoodie and sat on the floor curled up having mental paralysis because of the stress,

Day 5: The burnout started the fading hope of actually getting the work done. it came to the realization that for the past 2 days, they hadn't really eaten much.... sure they had snacked on some loose snacks and had a bunch of coffee, but no real full meals. They tried to shower to help calm the cricks in their back and how ill they were feeling

Day 6: They were back at work again pushing through, ignoring the stomach pain, and the headache. They had woken up and just felt like they were on the verge of a breakdown. Everything was too much right now, they just wanted their comfort human, comfort blanket, and comfort food all in the same place. They were so overloaded sensory wise, they couldn't speak on the company Zoom calls, they were using the chat, and even that felt like too much

Day 7: It was the day hobie came home... it was the day they had off from work. They drifted around like a zombie. They managed to eat a bowl of cereal in between waking up and taking a nap. After that nap, they just sat on the bed completely zoned out... after what felt like maybe 5 minutes, the clouds were gray and hobie was stepping through his portal.

When hobie saw they zoned out, all the coffee mugs towering on the desk and how pale they were. he knew immediately what happened. He quickly got out of all his spider gear, and he made sure to be careful as he moved them to lie down. He kissed their forehead... "Oh, my angel of music... it's okay, just rest. Tomorrow and Tuesday call in sick and I won't take any mission and we can just spend the next two days getting back into our routine, does that sound good?"

They meekly nod as they finally put themselves under the covers of the bed. "Im sorry, it was so much, the boss moved the project date up sooner. I really tried hobie. I mean it I really tried" they sniffle. hobie hugged them tightly and nods "I know angel, and I'm proud you tried, now rest."

BONUS: The next day in the evening

"Hobie..... thank you for everything," Y/N said cuddled into his chest, wrapped in their favorite blanket, eating their comfort food, watching their comfort movie. Hobie just hums "So explain to me again why you like this movie so much??"

[haizediz]

Fire on Ice.

..........................................................................................

Hailee Steinfeld x female Reader

Summary: Depression is cold but not the love you both hold.

Warnings: depression; panic attack; fluff explotion; Hailee being the cutest person on earth; soft and comforting Hailee (we love her sfm)

a/n: Y/n (Reader) is an image of me and i don't have anyone like Hailee and how i described her in this fic, so i decided to write this. [i'm so freaking proud of my title and summary for this fic lol]

[Also one of the paragraphs is inspired by euphoria.]

P.s. Thank you for all the support! Notes and Reblogs are highly appreciated, love you <3

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"Life is hard" That's what everybody says. As a kid you don't really understand why everybody says that. But at some point the vision gets more and more visible..., or invisible. It's always different for every kind of person.

You don't know why, but your Life is not just hard. Sometimes it's beautiful and you enjoy it and at other times you feel like you can't breathe. Like you're stuck in a hole and you can't get out. Like you're depressed.

The other thing about depression is it kinda collapses time. Suddenly you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop. So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy. But slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy. And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way. And will only continue to be this way.

Of course your girlfriend knew about your mental illness. She reads you easier than any open book. The moment you told her that you were not always onehundred percent happy. And with "not always" you mean never. Hailee began to spend more time with you than she ever did before. You didn't even knew that was possible, but it was.

She started cuddling with you longer. Mumbled I love you's before you fall asleep. Holded you any time she could. Bought more often your favorite snacks. And the list goes on and on.

She made you fall in love with her more and more every day. Like she did with you. But you never really realized this. You were grateful for her and what she was doing for you. Yet there was always that one ulterior motive back in your head.

You're just a burden to her.

......

Today was exhausting. Not physically but mentally. About an hour ago you said to your girlfriend that you were going to go for a walk alone. Whatever you did. You tried to clear your head, enjoy the chirping birds and it worked a little. At least for the first few minutes. After a while you started missing the physical touch of Hailee. Your hand was empty and cold. Maybe it wasn't very smart to be without your comforter on a bad day.

As your eyes started to tear up and your body started trembling, you walked without hesitating back to your and Hailees apartment. Or better said you tried. Breathing was difficult and you strolled slowly.

Finally you saw the door to your home. It felt like several hours before you got here. Thank God you took the key with you. You didn’t want to wake Hailee. She's probably sleeping right now because before you left she said she was already going to bed.

You unlocked the front door and made your way straight to the bedroom. A lightly snoring Hailee filled the room with comfort, exactly what you needed. You took off your shoes and you softly layed onto Hailee. Your head hid in the back of her neck where the sharp note of her perfume stung your nose. It smells like vanilla and cherry blossoms. Like Hailee. Hailee who wasn't really in a deep sleep. She could feel the tears running down your cheeks onto her shoulder. She heard your quiet sobs and above all she felt your body trembling and shaking.

Suddenly you felt her arms wrapping around you and her head slowly turns to yours. She shared you a sweet kiss onto your forehead and afterwards she took the blanket near to her and pull it over you both. You were still shaking from the panic attack you had minutes ago. That's why Hailee softly placed her hands under your hoodie and drew randomly little circles on your back. Her touch was smoothing and it felt like fire on your freezed body.

A little while later your crying became quieter and you calmed down. Hailee and you are still in the same position as before. Only your head moved further down from her shoulder to her chest. Your ear right over her heart. Hailee's heartbeat, which you heard clearly, filled your soul with peace. Your hands wrapped around Hailee's body and her hands wrapped around you. None of you made a sound. You both knew exactly how the other person was feeling right now. Words didn’t have to be spoken. Except those three. Those three words you and Hailee share every day, every hour and always mean it.

"I love you."

She whispered to you. Her voice was raspy and you could hear that she was crying too. Your grip became tighter but also softer at the same time. Which maybe doesn't make any sense at all. But it was true.

You fell deeper into Hailee's touch and again a tear fell from your eye. "I love you too."

You slowly sat back up and looked down at Hailee. "I'm sorry to be such a burden to you, Haiz, I just made you cry and I, I don't want that-" Your body started shaking again and you felt a lump in your throat from holding back the tears. Hailee quickly sat up and placed both of her hands on your cheeks. "Hey, hey, it's okay, I know that you're not feeling well, y/n. And I'm crying because it hurts so much seeing you in this state, I'm not crying because you made me." She comforted you, her hazel eyes meeting yours. And you could definetely tell that she's saying the truth as always. Hailee never lies to you, but your brain told you the complete opposite. "There's literally no difference between making you cry and crying because of my state." "Yes there is!" She shouted, which really surprised you. Hailee never yelled at you before. You looked at her without saying anything. "Sorry." She whispered after realizing. "I'm just- I'm just so worried about you, y/n."

You sighed deeply and lost yourself in her eyes. Eyes that were filled with worries, love and fear. A layer of water was placed over them, which made them shine. "I'm sorry, Haiz." You flustered and you fell again into her arms. She held you tight and you enjoyed the warmth of Hailee's body. She warmed you, and your freezing heart started to melt from the fire of love you both have for eachother.

Warm Love that is bigger than your cold Depression.

..........................................................................................

tagging again my dear friend here: @hard-core-super-star

[vrisrezis]

I am terribly sick right and was wondering if you could write a rocket raccoon with/or taking care of a sick s/o ? :’3 thank you ! I’ve been LOVING UR STUFF !!!

Hope ya feel better soon anon ^_^ and tyysmm

Rocket would never admit it to anyone but groot, but he was worried about you. For starters, he’s never had to deal with anyone that was sick before. If he were to think about it, not even quill who was apparently more susceptible to sickness as a Terran. Because he himself has never gotten sick before, he assumes he just can’t. He’d assume the same for you, since you’re also like him, a biologically enhanced animal. However, he was proven very wrong. You were coughing quite a lot, to the point it hurt your throat. You were so sick you barely got up to use the bathroom and you couldn’t even get stuff to eat for yourself so you stopped bothering. Of course, rocket took it upon himself to get some food for you so you’re not starving yourself. Even then, took awhile for you to start eating again, as it seemed as though anything you ate came back out of your mouth, in the toilet, at 3 am. How you managed to get it in the toilet everytime but refuse to get up to pee and end up holding it in for literal hours is beyond him.

He slowly opens the door leading to your quarters, he can’t help but frown. Normally your quarters were … clean? You made an effort to keep things overly tidy, he never met anyone who was so obsessed with keeping shit neat. When you first entered quills disgusting ship, at the time, you did not shut up about how disgusting it was and how you needed to fix it up for him one day. So maybe you were a bit of a perfectionist at times. At first, it really bothered him. But he understands why you’re that way. While he himself acknowledges nothing is perfect, given both of your pasts he understands why you’d be obsessed with some sort of perfection, neatness, order. It’s how you were raised.

So to see your quarters an absolute mess? It was such a weird sight to see. You, who often made an effort to train and work hard, you were simply laying on your bed, exhausted. He saw a side of you he never, ever saw. He may not know it as well as quill does, but when people are extremely sick and dying of that illness, they start acting very strangely than how they’d normally act. Safe to say, rocket was quickly jumping to conclusions and freaking himself out.

“Hey.” he simply says, and you turn around to look at him so that your back is no longer turned to him. “Brought you some food, quill says this’ll make your throat feel better.” he says, gesturing to the soup. You sit up, grabbing the food from him and quietly thanking him. Again, concerning him more as you normally were not so quiet when speaking to him. While you weren’t exactly loud by any means, you were stern and straightforward, not meek and quiet. He doesn’t say anything, watching you eat. You don’t say anything. He opens his mouth to speak, but he shuts it, turning to look at the direction of your door as you both hear it open, only to reveal groot. You give a curt nod towards the little guy, and he smiles, a coloring book in hand. “I am groot!”

Rocket sighs, shaking his head. “Groot, no. You have to wait till they get better first.” “I am groot!” “Don’t start with me.” Groot pouts, and turns to you. “I am groot.” he says, making you raise a brow and smile at rocket. “Oh really?” “Do not give me that look!” rocket rays, raising a finger at you. “He’s lying! I was not worried!” “I am groot!” “Okay! Enough!” he says, frustrated. His anger soon dissipates has he heard you laugh. Something he hasn’t heard you do in quite awhile. He can’t help the smile etching his face. “I am groot!” the little tree smiles, and the raccoon picks him up. “Let me know if you need anything, hun.” “Will do.” you smile, and he counts his lucky stars. You’ll be just fine.

[velvet4510]

The Gaffer is an interesting character to me. His few scenes definitely show us that he is a gruff kind of guy who never shies away from making his opinion known among the gossips. Though he’s illiterate, he’s not stupid at all, and is actually very intelligent when it comes to all things gardening. But he also has very polite manners toward the gentry and is more than humble enough to “know his place” and be content with the simple working class life. He doesn’t share Sam’s passion for Elves and for learning in general. He’s perfectly fine with his lot in life and has no aspirations. It’s clear that Sam’s modesty, resourcefulness, and grounded sense are all inherited from the Gaffer.

Yet I’ve seen the Gaffer get a bit of hate amongst the fandom. Some dislike how he apparently calls Sam names like “ninnyhammer,” and some fanfics have taken this and ran with it to the point of depicting the Gaffer as a straight-up abusive father. Which…absolutely does not gel with Tolkien’s portrait of him at all.

It seems to me that the Gaffer is actually similar to Gandalf in his demeanor. When frustrated or exasperated, he calls people names, but in an affectionate way. And Sam obviously adores his dad, constantly worrying about his wellbeing back home. It’s clear they have a close and good relationship. Sam just does not seem or feel like an abused child. Maybe overly humbled, yes - the Quest does give him a much-needed boost in self-esteem - but not abused. Sam doesn’t have an abusive or unkind bone in his body; I really don’t think he would be as benign as he is, if he grew up with as cruel a role model as many seem to assume the Gaffer is.

Especially since Sam’s mom is clearly no longer around, and his older siblings seem to have all moved out, since Sam and his dad are the only ones who live in 3 Bagshot Row. So they seem similar to Bilbo and Frodo in that it’s been the 2 of them for a while, they have their own little lifestyle system that works for them, and they look after each other.

Notice in particular how the Gaffer often calls his son “my Sam,” which to me indicates he has great affection and pride for Sam. He even seems like he has that parental mindset of remembering and always seeing his son as his little boy, even when his son is all grown up.

The Gaffer also gives off the vibe of somebody who is actually much more open-minded than he claims to be. Yes, he’s a traditionalist and doesn’t like the idea of leaving home for anything. But notice how he fervently defends Bilbo and Frodo in front of the gossips. He’s not among those who disapprove of the Bagginses or call them “mad.” He’s very fond of them and will not speak ill of them. He appreciates how kind they are to him, and doesn’t see any harm in their unusual interests. And while he does drill an absolute sense of humbleness into Sam by saying things like “don’t get mixed up with your betters,” he actually doesn’t seem to mind that Bilbo taught Sam to read and write, even though Sam wasn’t “supposed” to be literate given his place in society. I feel like while he is set in his ways, he is also able to notice and acknowledge when something unusual has its benefits.

And let’s never forget that the Gaffer is also brave! He literally lies to a Nazgûl’s face to protect Frodo, claiming Frodo had already left when he hadn’t. Even if he didn’t know Frodo hadn’t left yet, it’s still clear he has no intention of selling Frodo out to this creepy guy. When push comes to shove, the Gaffer has some admirable courage inside him…another quality of his that Sam inherited.

I also feel great sympathy for him when I consider what that year must’ve been like for him. Imagine your son disappearing without a trace for 14 straight months, right after some creepy cloaked guy comes asking for your son’s boss. How terrified must that poor guy have been! It’s not much of a stretch to assume he was worried about Sam every single day, wondering if he was safe, if he’d ever see him again. How much sleep must he have lost because of his fears.

And of course, Sam names his fourth son after him. Another indicator that they had a genuinely good and loving relationship.

I really like the Gaffer and will always defend him. Let’s give him some credit. He’s a good guy. We primarily have him to thank, anyway, for raising Sam to be the amazing person he is.

[hiiroamagisbestfriend]

Hello hellooo!!! Welcome! Its nice to see new blogs for enstars all the time! If possible, i’d like to request date hcs similar to the chiaki and adonis ones you did, but for eichi and keito? Thank you!

Date Headcanons!

w/ Eichi Tenshouin x GN! Reader

im so sorry i literally could not think of anything for keito (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠) i tried to make eichi's longer to make up for it but it's also super messy? if i ever get a good idea for these two i promise ill write something for them

Warnings: Just some silly "take you out." misunderstandings, other than that nothing!

Eichi Tenshouin

✩ Eichi wouldn't have much difficulty when it comes to asking you out. After all, if there's anything he learned in his life, it's that he doesn't have the time to make decisions he'll regret.

✩ So when Eichi realizes how he feels about you, he'll just casually asks you out. He's a very busy guy, so he doesn't have any fancy or grandiose plans that he could take you out in short notice.

✩ And when I say casually, I mean CASUALLY. Like he could call you up to Star Pro's Meeting Room to tell you about the details on your next job, when all of a sudden he'd just tack on an invitation for a date at the end of it.

"That about covers everything you need to know. I expect you to do your best like you always do, though I hope you wouldn't overwork yourself." Eichi said with a smile. You were just about ready to leave when he clears his throat. "Actually, there's one more thing. If you're free tomorrow afternoon I'd like to meet up with you."

You were a bit perplexed by this, if it was just about another job then he could have just told you now to save the effort. Eichi seems to have sensed this thought, as he continued to speak. "This isn't for work, (Y/N). I simply want to take you out."

"Excuse me?" You retorted immediately, was he threatening you? Usually you'd think that someone saying that would mean it'd be for a date, but you never do know when it comes to Eichi.

"Must I repeat myself? I intend to go out with you, (Y/N)." Yeah no that doesn't help at all, you think. Eichi raises an eyebrow at your lack of a response, were you playing dumb? Or maybe, he was the one in the wrong? "Well, I have a meeting I need to attend soon, so I'll be waiting for you in the ES Garden. Remember, tomorrow afternoon."

With that, Eichi takes his leave, and you're sitting there with more questions than answers. You couldn't linger long though, knowing that the meeting room isn't yours to loiter in.

✩ That night, you couldn't get a wink of sleep. How could you? When Eichi just said the most ominous things you've ever heard in your life. You think of every recent project you worked on, worried that you messed up somewhere but you came up blank.

✩ You tried to rationalize the situation a bit, was there another meaning to what he was saying? You already crossed out that it was a date, so what could it be?

✩ I mean the truth was that you did maybe have a little crush on Eichi. All things considered he really was beautiful, and his talent as both an idol and StarPro's head honcho was nothing to scoff at.

✩ Just thinking that someone like that would like you, much less be the one to ask you out? Never in a million years. So, what could it be? Maybe he'll give you some unreasonable demand like "saving idols" or something? That seems more feasible.

✩ Before you knew it, the sun shone through your curtains and your alarm started blaring. Well when you really think about it, Eichi was your boss so you really had no choice to begin with, so might as well go with it.

✩ You arrived at the garden before Eichi, though it's not like gave a specific time other than 'afternoon'. You were left waiting there for quite a bit, some staff members and idols giving you a confused glance as you just sat there by your lonesome.

✩ Soon enough, Eichi arrived and he sat opposite to you, the two of you facing each other with only a table in between. Trailing behind Eichi was Hajime, pushing a two layer cart trolley that had some tea and snacks on it.

✩ You were relieved to see another person, but after Hajime placed the things on the table, he quickly excused himself. Now, it truly is just you and Eichi, some peculiar pastries on a cupcake tower and a pot of tea.

Eichi placed a cup in front of you and started to pour tea from the pot into it, humming a nameless song all the while. When he noticed you didn't seem to want to touch any of the things he brought, he took a sip of tea from his own cup.

"No need to worry, the pastries were made by Ritsu, and the tea was prepared by Hajime." Oh yeah, the three of them used to be in the tea club back in Yumenosaki. "I would like to say my thanks. For coming here, I mean."

Eichi had such a childlike sense of glee in his face when he said that, that you almost forgot how he usually acts. "Why did you call me out here?" Eichi raises an eyebrow at the question, before putting his teacup down.

"Hm? Did you come here not knowing why? I thought I had myself pretty clear yesterday." It seems Eichi was trying to gauge your expression, so you tried putting on your strongest poker face.

Oh. Eichi realized just what exactly was going on. He did in fact, not make himself clear, and you seem to have misunderstood this whole ordeal. Now, Eichi was faced with quite the dilemma, shall he continue this charade, or clear up the misunderstanding?

Well, he can tease you all he wants once he makes you his, so he'll choose the latter for now. "This is a date, (Y/N). I had fallen quite hard for you, so I thought something like this should be the next natural course of action."

Eichi could not help but chuckle seeing your face turn a good 20 hues redder in seconds. "Are you serious? This isn't some elaborate plan to make me do something is it?" You said, though some part of you was REALLY hoping he was being serious.

"I'm very serious. It hurts me that you'd doubt me, you know? Besides, we're already on our first date, are we not?" Is that what this was? So when he meant he'd take you out, it literally was on a date? And you were all worried over nothing? Wait, you're on your first date?

Eichi really did find it quite entertaining how confused you looked, he really wishes you feel the same way he does, he'd love to savor your expressions and reactions for the rest of his life if he could.

"Say you love me. I can't take you seriously otherwise."

"Hm, is that all? Alright. I love you, (Y/N). Nothing would make me happier than having you as my partner." Eichi grabbed one of your hands, placing a light kiss on top of it.

Eichi was being serious, very serious. There was no way to confirm it, but something was telling you he couldn't fake this. Your worries were pretty much disproved with that, but you didn't want to just take everything that happened lying down, there had to be something you can do to get back at him.

It was then that you had the idea to retract your hand from his. For just a second, Eichi looked like a kicked puppy, before you put your lips right where he had just kissed. "This is our first kiss, then. I love you to, Eichi."

Eichi's eyes went wide at your action, his pale skin taking on a pinkish hue. Still, he was so happy he couldn't stop grinning.

If he could spend the rest of days like this with you, he'd surely say he lived his best life.

if i get a good idea for keito i SWEAR i will write it asap, but for now i hope you enjoyed this!

Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated!