#i want my old printer back it never pulled shit like this

[i-prefer-base-twelve]

Ford x Reader x Sleep

It's not so much that you awaken as you're drop-kicked into consciousness. Heart racing, disoriented--it's still dark--Ford is sitting up beside you, panting, clutching the duvet to his chest.

Shit. Something's wrong. Fire? Intruder? "Ford?" You croak.

Ford looks in your general direction, confused. Then his eyes focus and his shoulders sag. He takes a ragged breath and smooths your hair.

"Nothing," he mumbles, voice shaky. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

You frown up at him. "Bullshit," you say. "What's wrong?"

He looks out the window. Or, he would be looking out the window if the curtains weren't drawn. "Just a bad dream."

You prop yourself up on an elbow. Ford told you he had nightmares sometimes, but he's never startled you awake before. "It must have been pretty intense," you say. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Silence. He stares hard at nothing. "You--" he stops, clears his throat, tries again. "You… he…" Ford closes his eyes. "He… possessed you."

No need to ask who HE is. Your stomach knots up on Ford's behalf. "Hey. Look at my eyes," you say softly, reaching out to place a hand on his cheek. "It's just me in here. He's gone. Forever."

Ford scowls, shoving your hand aside. "You think I don't know that?"

You flinch back. That stings, even if you know he's only angry at himself. "Hey, asshole, I'm trying to comfort you here. Either let me try or let me sleep."

At that, he grunts and lays back down, facing away from you. You stare at his back, wondering what you should do; you've never seen him like this and you might have just fucked it up. Before you can decide on a course of action, he rolls over to face you and rolls you onto your side and pulls you tight against his chest. You can feel his shaky breathing, his pounding heart.

You try to turn and look at him, but his arm around you is so tight you're pretty much pinned. If he doesn't calm down soon, you're gonna have bruises. And not the fun kind.

He clearly doesn't want to talk about it, so that leaves distraction. Distraction, distraction… ah! You say quietly, "Did I ever tell you about the moment I decided not to be a scientist?"

He shifts, arm loosening fractionally. "I didn't know you'd ever considered it."

You smile. This is totally going to work. "Yeah, I actually entered college as a chemistry major. There I was, all of 18 years and two weeks old, in organic lab, WAY over my head--"

"Organic chemistry as a freshman?"

"Oh. Yeah. I guess I tested out of a bunch of credits."

"You never told me that." There's a gentle admonishment in his voice. You try to find a tactful way to say I don't talk about my college days because I'm an adult and finally decide on, "It never came up. Anyway, there I was in my first real chemistry lab, surrounded by all this strange equipment, and I was just trying to get the melting point of something." Which you do by waiting for a chunk of it to melt and then reading a thermometer. Science is not always complicated. "I turned the heat on, but I knew this thing had a pretty high melting point, so I started writing up my report while I was waiting, but then I got distracted and forgot I was heating it up… until the machine got so hot the thermometer blew out of its housing and shattered against the ceiling."

Silence. Ford's body, pressed against you, begins to twitch with laughter. "You FORGOT?"

You shrug as best your pinned shoulders will allow. "It scared the bejezus out of the whole class. Thank god it wasn't a mercury thermometer! No one was hurt. But that's when I knew I wasn't cut out for life in a lab. Changed my major to computer science the very next day."

You feel Ford shake his head behind you. "Too bad. You would have made a great chemist."

You laugh at that. "Clearly I would not have! Anyway, no regrets. I made it through the CS program without breaking a single machine. Wait, did I… no. The printer broke itself. I just put it out of its misery. Which was honestly one of the more fun times I had in college..."

"Mmmm," Ford says. Your scheme is working; he's falling asleep. You stop rambling as you feel his arm go slack.

You open your eyes to find yourself in the middle of a chem lab. The air burns your throat and stings your eyes. The tables around you are full of improbable setups, Rube Goldberg glassware hosting all manner of sickly-colored liquids. As you look closer, you notice the liquids are flowing the wrong way through the glassware.

You jump at the sound of glass shattering on the floor behind you. As you turn around, the lights flicker. A voice speaks, seeming to come from all around you and inside your head all at once.

"AND JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

You jerk awake, feeling cold sweat on your face. Ford's arm still drapes across your stomach, his breathing still slow and easy. Good, you didn't wake him up. You try to match his breathing, focus on the physical sensations of his warmth and weight against you, try to calm down. Dreams, man.

The next thing you know, a big hand is smoothing your hair. You force your eyes open to see it's morning. Ford is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you intensely. This isn't bizarre exactly, but it's not his normal pattern. Usually when you wake up, he's either long out of bed and knee-deep in mad science, or snuggled up next to you. You make an inarticulate questioning noise.

"I… made you coffee." He's strangely bashful, gesturing at the mug on your nightstand. Next to the mug is a plate of peanut butter toast and strawberries, aka the most breakfast you ever eat.

Ford brought you breakfast in bed.

Ford has never brought you breakfast in bed before. You didn't know he was even aware of breakfast in bed as a concept.

You sit up, turning to lean against him as you reach for the coffee. "Thanks," you say, not managing to keep the confusion out of your voice. He puts an arm around your waist and scoots closer.

Ford stays quiet, unusually quiet, while you drink your coffee. After nearly half a cup, he finally speaks. "No one's seen me like that before." He looks back to you, eyes locking onto yours. "I hope you don't think less of me."

You set your mug on the table and turn to face him. "Think less of you? No, of course not, why would I? Nightmares are scary."

He scowls, looking away. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that."

It finally clicks. He's embarrassed about waking up in a panic, and wants to apologize for snapping at you. You sigh, putting a hand on his knee. "Seriously, it's no big deal. You were freaked out, you didn't mean anything by it. Honestly, your reaction was pretty standard. I dated one guy who would actually wake up screaming--"

He looks at you then, pinching your hip playfully. There's the slightest smirk on his face. "I don't need to know about your exes."

You smirk back at him. "Point being, don't worry about it. I barely even remember waking up."

He looks relieved. "Were you able to get back to sleep ok?"

Were you? Now that he mentions it, you vaguely remember having an unsettling dream of your own. What was it…? Maybe you're just remembering feeling unsettled on his behalf. You nod and say, "Out like a light."

"Good." He takes your hand in his and squeezes it. And then, after a pause, he adds, "You know, before you, I would just spend the rest of the night awake. Pacing up and down the halls or writing in my journals. But with you…" he shakes his head, smiling. "I went back to sleep. You're a gift, and I intend to appreciate you better in the future."

You smile at him. "I like the sound of that."

He moves in to kiss you, and you gladly let him.

[miyuhpapayuh]

back at the office.

“Well, at least you two are on a first name basis, now. Improvement!” Mercedes pokes Mya in her side. She swats at her friend’s hand in feigned annoyance.

The pair are seated on a park bench across from the office, munching on fruit before they have to clock in for the day.

“Girl, gon’ somewhere,” she says with a laugh, “We work together and that’s about it. He’s probably not even from here!” The aloof tone of her voice betrays her actual feelings.

“Ma’am, that accent is thicker than chunky peanut butter out the freezer. Of course he’s from here. Or at least near here! Plus, I seen him at the poetry spot downtown, he could be pretty decent,” she says casually, while chomping on a chunk of watermelon.

“And just what the hell are you doing at a poetry spot? Last book you read had a big cat on the front,” Mya jabs at her friend.

“First of all, fuck you,” she’s interrupted by Mya’s snort of a laugh. “Second of all, didn’t I tell you? I met my new boo down there,” she finishes with a shimmy of the shoulders.

“How many felonies does this one have?”

“I’m gonna let that one go ‘cause I’m in a good mood. And if you quit being a punk, you can snag yourself a man, too.”

“I’m not a punk. I’m just not in the market for a man right now.” She shrugs as Mercedes rolls her eyes.

“Chile, a lie don’t care who tell it. Ray Charles can see you want his ass.”

Mya can’t contain the burst of laughter that leaves her lips.

“Why would you say that??”

“I'm just sayin’!” Mercedes continues through her own laughter.

“I’m not ‘bout to play with you today,” she dabs the tears that formed at the corners of her eyes. Glancing at her phone, she notices she’s dangerously close to being late.

“Oh shit,” she pops up from her seat grabbing her things, “Savannah’ll have our heads if we're late again.”

“Please, Savannah loves us. She’ll fire that shiftless ass Colin before she fires you,” Mercedes responds as she gathers her things at a more leisurely pace.

“Either way it goes, I’m not tryna make a habit outta being late.” She says, as they make their way inside.

“Nice of y'all to join us,” none other than Savannah herself greets them both just as they punch their timecard in the lounge.

“Hey auntie!” Mercedes cheeses, before heading out.

“So, what lil’ boy done caught your attention and got you showing up late now?” Her boss teases.

It never fails to surprise her how nothing gets past her boss, not that he was the reason for her tardiness.

“Nobody. Only thing that has my attention is work,” she lies casually, trying to breeze by her and back towards the lobby.

“Hmm. You sure it’s not that handsome young tender with the strong arms that’s always breakin’ his neck to catch a glimpse at you?”

Her ears perk up at the new piece of information, and she deftly pivots on her heels.

“He does?” she responds a little too earnestly for her own liking. Clearing an imaginary blockage from her throat, she adjusts her tone.

“He does?” She repeats, cooler this time, as she tucks a freshly straightened, cherry red tendril of hair behind her ear, a nervous tick.

“Mhm.” The all-knowing smirk on her boss’ full lips makes Mya’s cheeks redden even further.

“All the time. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you out yet. Must be shy like you. Lord knows if I wasn’t married and old enough to be his mama…” she trails off.

As if her poor cheeks couldn’t get any rosier.

“Alright! I’m gonna start workin’ now.” She starts to back her way out of the hall toward the printer room to save herself further embarrassment.

“Hey! You're coding, for the next hour. Grab the big stack of card stock from the back to refresh your signs, before you get started.”

Grabbing her tools for the day, she heads to the big printer in the middle room, closing the door behind her.

She’d taken it upon herself to color code the system, helping everyone navigate through it just a little easier, as well as replacing the faded, white company signs with brighter, more colorful ones.

Pulling up her stool, she gets started.

A knock sounds at the door, before Isaiah steps inside, heading towards the supply closet.

“Mornin’, didn’t mean to interrupt,” coming out with a stack of copy paper in hand, he looks up to see the pretty brown girl with bright red hair that’s had mind jumbled for the last few weeks or so.

She looks up from the screen and smiles. “Mornin’,” she responds, “I’m knee-deep in this screen, I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“S’alright. Just came to refill the printer.” He replies, gesturing towards the big contraption she was currently sitting in front of.

“Oh! Let me move out of the way, sorry.” He chuckles, watching her grab her laptop and work on her feet, before he moves in to refill the tray.

“It’s alright. What you workin’ on, today?” He asks, printing a few documents.

“Coding the system to make it easier for everybody. Then, I’ve gotta redo the signs, out front. Savannah’s finally letting me loose in here.” She giggles, typing away on her keyboard with one hand.

Gathering his paper, he moves out of her way. “Sounds like a project. Can I see?”

“Sure!” She sits her laptop down and shows him the screen as she types away.

“Our plans are in green, projects are in pink and tasks are in blue, now. Holidays are highlighted, as well employee birthdays. Ooh! I really loved doing that, because I get to choose different colors for that, as well.”

He hums a laugh. “This your avenue, yeah? Projects?”

“Projects can be fun,” she turns toward him. “Imagine if she let you use photoshop on the ads that you create? It would take them to the next level!”

“You’ve seen one of the ads I’ve done in photoshop?” He asks.

“Mhm. It was up on the main computer, the other day. I didn’t know it was yours, until I saw the little eye you placed in the corner.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “It’s like my watermark, for now.”

“It’s cute. But, your ad was nice!”

“I appreciate that. Especially, coming from you.” She blushes, as he heads toward the door.

“See you later?” He asks, hope burning behind his brown eyes.

“See you later.” She nods, mirroring his smile, before they get back to work.

About an hour and a half later, all ten of her fingers are cramped to hell and her back is killing her, but she’s finally finished with her project.

Closing the door behind her, she sighs and heads towards her own office, bumping into Savannah.

“Oh, Mya! The system is running so smooth, now! And the signs look wonderful!” She praises.

“Thank you! I’m always happy to help!”

“So am I.” She smiles.

“What do you mean?”

“I may have put a bug in someone’s ear about someone.. you can thank me, later, sweetheart.”

“A…what? Savannah, what are you talking about?”

“Your secret admirer is about to become not so secret, anymore.”

Her heart begins to beat triple time.

“Oh, God… I think I’m having a stroke.”

“Oh,” Savannah starts laughing. “You are too much, girl! Just relax! I know he’s pretty, but he’s a sweet man who’s sweet on you!”

Isaiah conveniently walks down the hall, his sight set out for Mya.

His eyes light up as he spots her talking to their boss.

“Afternoon, ladies.” He greets. “Can I steal Mya away?”

“As long as you give her back,” Savannah pats his shoulder, before heading back down the hall.

“Hey,” she waves, that intoxicating cologne of his hitting her nose.

“Hey,” he smiles, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I was kinda hoping that you would join me for lunch.. that is, if you didn’t already have anything planned, of course.”

The corners of her mouth lift into a smile. “Well, seeing as we like the same kind of food, I would love to join you for lunch. Let me just grab my wallet.”

She moves for her office door, until he speaks, again. “I was actually hoping that I could buy your lunch, as well.”

“You’re doin’ a lot of hoping, today.” The smile never leaves her lips.

“Looks like I’m doing a whole lot scorin’ today, too.” He humbly brags.

“Does this work for you, often?”

“I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve tried.” He laughs.

They share a laugh. “Lead the way.”

☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.☆:☆: .☽ .☆: .☽ · 。ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

“So, where exactly are you from?” Mya asks, biting into her sandwich.

The pair had decided to head over to Panera for a quick lunch.

“I’m from Texas. Dallas, to be exact.” He replies.

“Ah. I told my friend that you weren’t from here, I knew it!” She giggles.

“How’d you tell?”

“Well, no offense… but, your accent is rather thick. They don’t really sound like that, down here, too fast.”

His smile takes over his entire face at her comment. “None taken. I’ve gotten that, a lot. I like the accents out here, though.”

“Well, at least y’all sound like you come from somewhere.” She rolls her eyes.

“What do you mean? You’re from here, ain’t you?”

“Yeah, but I don’t sound like it.” She frowns.

“Yes you do,” he snorts. “You got a lil twang.”

“You’re only sayin’ that.”

“Honest,” he holds his hands up. “You do. It’s subtle, but it’s there.” He assures.

“Really?” Her brows raise. He nods.

“Mhm. Don’t trip, pretty.” He says, popping a chip in his mouth. She blushes.

Catching the three minute warning on her phone, she begins to gather her trash.

“Almost time to head back?” He eyes her movement, reluctantly doing the same.

“Yeah,” she sighs, “rest of the day’s filled with paperwork.”

“Well, we can’t all be God’s favorite and color code the system in the mornings.” She laughs at the crack he takes at her.

“It’s not just about making it pretty, mister big  arms.” She playfully rolls her eyes.

“My broadness distractin’ you, little lady?” He asks, amusement coloring his tone.

Yes. God, yes.

“We should head back.” She stands up from the table to toss her trash. His eyes travel to her derrière.

“Mm.” He remarks to himself, standing from the table to throw his own trash away, before they head back to the office.

Making plans to catch back up once the day was finally over, Mya sinks down in her chair.

Her phone begins to ring.

“Hey, mama,” she answers, turning her laptop back on.

“Hey, baby. You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just ready for the workday to end. It started pretty great, though.”

“Yeah? What’s going up at Vannah’s that’s got you in the good spirits, besides the angel, herself?” Her mother speaks fondly of her beloved boss.

“She’s finally taken me up on my offer to brighten up the place!,” she cheeses like her mother could see her face. “I started color coding the system to make everything easier to navigate, because it was starting to give me a migraine! Nothing on this earth should ever be that dull.”

Her mother laughs. “You are something else. But, that’s amazing, sweetheart. I always knew you’d be able to showcase your talents.”

“Thanks for always believing in me.”

“Always. Now, who’s this boy that Mercedes was goin’ on about?”

Sighing aloud, she sits up in her chair. “I gotta call you back. We’ll talk about it later, I promise.”

“Is she in trouble?”

“She’s about to be. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. Bye bye.”

Hanging up, she quickly facetimes Mercedes. “Look, I know you and my mama are cool and all, but why would you tell her about Isaiah?”

“Girl, I honestly just told her that you got a crush on somebody, like you always do! And she was like “is he cute?” And I was like “do you know your daughter? The men are always fine!” And she laughed and that was that.” She shrugs.

“You two are gonna give me grey hair.” Mya shakes her head, beginning to type away at her keyboard.

“Now, I know you FaceTimed me to spill somethin’, so please get on with it.” Mercedes laughs. Her infectious laughter grows as Mya turns her attention back to her best friend.

“Ooh, I knew it!”

“Cedes, be quiet,” Mya giggles,” he asked me to join him for lunch and offered to pay for it! So, we went to Panera and talked. He’s from Texas, by the way.” Mercedes’ mouth falls open.

“I was wrong??”

“You were! I told you, too!” She whisper yells. “He’s from the south, but it ain’t here.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. So, you got you a Dallas cowboy, then, huh?” She says, the look on her face makes Mya wanna hang up on her.

“I really don’t like you.” She tries to hold back the smirk.

“It’s okay! Cause, I really love you!” She cheeses. “And, that’s cute, seriously. He bought you lunch and made you fall in love!”

“I’m not in love!” She laughs.

“What was in that sandwich? Bacon?”

“Mercedes.” Mya calls, it falls on deaf ears.

“That bacon must’ve been extra crispy.”

“It was. Goodbye.”

“Ride ‘em, cowgirl!”  She quickly hangs up, shaking her head.

“That girl is a mess.”

Grabbing her keys, she locks her office door behind herself and heads towards the front of the building to wait for Isaiah, like they’d planned.

“Yeah, she’s great.” He smiles, telling his friend and coworker, Jane, about Mya.

“I knew you two would hit it off. She’s been eyeing you for a while.”

“Well, she wasn’t alone.”

“Don’t I know it. You’ve talked my head about her for months, Isaiah.” She laughs, patting his shoulder.

“That’s what friends are for, right? Don’t I listen to you when you go on and on about uh, whatever his name is, this week?”

She rolls her eyes. “Tell your girlfriend to enjoy you, cause I’ll be killing you, soon.”

He laughs. “Don’t be me like that, Jane Doe. I’ll catch up with you later.” They hug and part ways.

He finds Mya with her head in her phone. He walks over, her eyes locking with his as he approaches her.

“Hey, pretty.” He greets, enjoying the view of her reddened cheeks as she twists her lips up.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Can I walk you to your car?” He offers.

“Sure.” She accepts, allowing him to lead the way, opening the door for her. She mentally checks manners off her list.

“Thank you, Isaiah.” She unlocks the driver side door.

“You’re more than welcome. Before I let you go, I’d like to ask you somethin’.”

She leans against the car door. “What’s up?”

“I been meanin’ to ask you, if you’d like to accompany me to this new spot, Friday?”

Completely taken aback that he was actually asking her out, her immediate yes jumped out, before she could contain herself. Their smiles are identical.

“I would love to. What kind of spot are we talkin’?”

“S’called Tropic. You know, one of those clubs with the disco lights, like we’re still in nineteen seventy-five and the drinks got them tiny umbrellas in ‘em.” He chuckles, rambling on as she dazedly stares at him.

“Sounds like fun.” She cheeses.

“It’s a date, then," grabbing her hand into his own, he softly caresses her skin. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me, too.” Her voice came out smaller than she liked. He doesn’t tease her about it. Kissing the back of her hand, he releases her. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She nods.

Waving goodbye, he heads to his own car, leaving her to slide inside of her own and squeal.

“A date?!”

[megidonitram]

Everyone's Running From Something (ch.3)

A Baldur's Gate 3 University Professor AU

Rating: M

Quick Summary: Astarion and Gale are two University English professors precariously mentoring a troubled 19-year-old and falling in love.

💖Main Pairing : BloodWeave,(Astarion/Gale) 💕Side Pairings: Shadowheart/Nocturne, Karlach/Dammon, Wyll/The Dark Urge, Tav/Tav 💔Past Pairings: Gale/Mystra, Astarion/Sebastian, Astarion/Tav

<=Previous Chapter | Master List | Ao3 | Next Chapter =>

**Please see Master List Entry for Full Content Warnings**

⏰Chapter Warning⏰ None

Astarion took a lap around the building to cool off before returning to his office- The last thing he needed was Gale asking him how he was doing after that little shit-show. Korrilla had also given him something of a runaround after he left Raphael’s office. She accidentally printed his requested forms on legal-size paper (because she forgot that she didn’t restock the printer before break) and then wasn’t sure if being in the wrong formatting would invalidate the paperwork, so Astarion had to wait for her to go get a fresh package of printer paper from the supply closet in the basement, which made him feel like a dick because she had to climb four flights of stairs to do that.

The problem with Korrilla was that Astarion never knew if she was in on Raphael’s torment or if she was just making a series of human mistakes because he made her nervous- though neither answer made the interaction any less annoying.

When Astarion got back to his office, Gale was still there. He was flipping through a heavily marked-up handbook on technical writing for business communications, staring at the pages as if he were either heavily engrossed by the reading -unlikely- or trying to light the damn thing on fire. It only made sense once he stepped into the room and saw Xenia posted up in the corner on her phone.

“Ah, Miss Bellona. Exactly who I was hoping to run into.” Astarion said, snapping the tension in the room like a loose thread. Gale nearly jumped out of his skin. “You look terrible.”

Xenia looked up at him with narrowed eyes, chewing one of her nails on her good hand. “I’ve had a rough few months.” She replied in that flat, desperately-trying-not-to-care tone that made her so fun to tease.

“I’ve heard. What do you need help with?” He slapped down his stack of paperwork on his desk and sat at his computer. Astarion saw Gale watching him wide-eyed, and he wondered how much Gale had pried while he was gone.

“I wanted to get the assignment sheets for my missing work from Survey of Gothic Literature,” Xenia said. Gale casually turned in his chair and pretended to rearrange the books on his shelf, giving them the courtesy of at least pretending to check-out of their conversation. “I thought I should get started on finishing that before the rest of my classes start…”

“Of course, you dropped off around Project… 4, was it? I think I kept a folder with your missing assignments somewhere.” With a few keystrokes, Astarion’s computer lurched back to life, fan buzzing as the machine recalibrated after being shut off for a month straight.

“I think the last thing I turned in was the 2nd character study…” Xenia replied. “…or maybe I just finished it- do you recall reading a paper from me about Miss Jessel?”

“I don’t, but I’ve read nearly a thousand bad-to-mediocre composition papers since then, so it’s likely I just forgot.” Astarion clicked through the expired Canvas shell to skim the grade book and determine which assignments he needed to pull.

“Oh, so my writing's mediocre?”

“I’m sorry, your 1200-word sophomore-level essay demonstrated a pure mastery of your craft. How foolish of me to forget when the beauty of your words brought me to tears.”  Astarion scoffed. He found the file folder he was looking for and printed it off. “Gale, I know you’re terribly busy, but could you grab those papers from the 2nd floor breakroom?”

“Absolutely!” Gale was on his feet and heading for before the request had fully left Astarion’s mouth. He gave Xenia a friendly smile. “Back in a flash!”

“Take your time.” The comment came out a lot more passive-aggressive than Astarion meant it. He watched Gale leave the room and listened for the stairwell door to open and close. Astarion turned back to Xenia. “What did you say to him?”

Xenia shrugged. “He asked about my dad, and I told him that I stabbed him to death.”

“Did you happen to… elaborate on that?”

“No, he didn’t ask.”

Astarion sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know, if you want people to stop treating you like a freak, you’ll have to stop acting like one.”

Xenia crossed her good arm in front of herself and pouted. “It’s not like someone wouldn’t have told him anyways.”

“Probably, but even a complete stranger would make you seem at least a little saner,” Astarion replied.

Xenia went quiet for a moment, her lips twisting into a disgruntled snarl. Her eyes drifted to the water-stained ceiling tiles. Astarion sort of understood her twisted logic. There were a lot of people on campus who treated her like a ticking time bomb, regardless of whether they knew her exact circumstances or not. If people would be convinced that she was a monster regardless, perhaps it was better if she was the one doing the convincing- at least then she was in control. It hurts less to meet someone's rotten expectations than to try your hardest and fail to prove them wrong.

“I suppose you want to know what happened last semester?” she muttered.

“Tell me or don’t.” Astarion shrugged. “I could not care less.”

Xenia rolled her eyes. “You’re such a dick.”

“What I am is a mandatory reporter, so think carefully about what you want to tell me- unless you like filling out copious amounts of paperwork,” Astarion said. “Do you need the reading materials? I could just lend you my anthology since you’re the only one left in the class.”

“I’ve still got my book from last year…” Xenia replied, mind still very clearly elsewhere. “…Do you have siblings?”

Astarion paused. “Yes. 6 of them. Why?”

“How do you refer to them… like in your mind? Do you call them your siblings?”

“I don’t think of the much anymore, honestly. But I suppose when I do, I think of them as their first names.” Astarion sighed. “Is there something you actually wanted to talk to me about?”

“I’m having trouble figuring out how to think of my sister,” Xenia admitted. “I guess she was never really my sister, and she was never really to blame, but…”

“You’re allowed to be angry at her,” Astarion replied. “I think you should be, frankly.”

Xenia mulled over his words for a moment, and Astarion could see her run her tongue along the inside of her cheek, absent-mindedly tracing the contours of her scar. She opened her mouth to say something, but the door in the stairwell creaked open, and she clamed up, wary of being overheard.

***

Gale felt horribly selfish for wanting to bolt out of the office as badly as he did. He wanted Xenia to feel comfortable and safe around him -the poor thing seemed like she’d been through enough- but he’d locked up. It wasn’t difficult for Gale to surmise that she probably didn’t commit patricide for the fun of it- those kinds of actions are usually born out of extreme desperation. However, whenever he thought about trying to relate to her or lift the mood, the impulse was killed by some strange insistence that he was being too personal, too forthcoming, too intimate.

He envied the ease with which Astarion had struck up a rapport with her- it seemed that despite his posturing, Astarion did, in fact, have a few soft spots. Gale told himself that it was because Astarion had leagues more experience in these departments than he did, but still, he worried. This was the first time he’d been on a college campus purely as a professional, and it felt a lot more daunting than he’d ever imagined.

It took Gale a hot minute of wandering around on the wrong floor to figure out Astarion meant “second floor” in the standard British English sense of the phrase, and the break room was actually located on the third floor. He collected the small stack of orphaned papers from the tray next to the copier and returned to Astarion’s -his- office.

Xenia was still there, Idle chatting about the books she’d read while in involuntary hold. “Do you teach V.C. Andrews? She’d gothic lit, isn’t she?”

“I’m not much of an Americanist,” Astarion replied. “If I’m forced to teach Southern Gothic authors, I tend to gravitate towards Falkner.”

“Not Poe?”

Astarion gave her a derisive look, but Gale handed the stack of papers before he could respond. He flipped through to ensure everything was in order and handed them over to Xenia. “You’ve got two more plot summaries, a thematic analysis, and a comparative essay for the final. Work on them at your leisure.”  

Xenia took the papers and tossed them in the tattered messenger bag she’d brought without a second glance. “Thanks!” She said. “Is there anything else I need?”

Astarion put a hand on the paperwork he’d brought in with him, thumbing over the corner before he shot a scrutinizing look over at Gale. “Yes… but we’ll talk about it later.” He said.

“Alight, see you around then.” Xenia shrugged and slung her bag over her good shoulder but didn’t quite get it, and the strap slid down her arm, catching hard in the crook of her elbow. She let out a frustrated groan.

“Here, allow me.” Gale stepped forward and looped the strap comfortably over her shoulder.

Xenia cocked her head and gave Gale a thoughtful look, her dark eyes piercing right through him. “Thank you…” she muttered before she turned and hurried out of the office.

“She seems…” Gale trailed off. He wasn’t sure what Xenia seemed like; he’d never met a murderer before- at least not to his knowledge.

“Shorter than you’d thought she’d be?” Astarion asked flippantly, reclining in his chair. That was fair; Gale had a hard time imagining how someone as little and frail as Xenia could overpower a full-grown man, boxcutter or no.

“Did she really-”

“Self-defense,” Astarion answered several questions ahead. “I don’t suggest asking her anything else about it. She didn’t have a particularly pleasant home life.”

“I’d imagine not,” Gale replied, sitting back down at his desk. He tried his credentials again- still nothing. “-do you know how long it should take for me to be put in the university’s system?”

“Surely you should be in by now…” Astarion replied. He moved to look over Gale’s shoulder. He was so close Gale could feel his breath tickling the back of his neck- he had to suppress a shiver.

Astarion said something, pointing at the computer screen. He had such striking eyes, such a warm brown that they were almost red.

Gale completely missed what. “Sorry?”

“Try logging in without the server address,” Astarion repeated a slight edge in his voice. “Everything after the ‘at’ symbol.”

“Right.” Gale deleted the back half of his username and tried again. The computer loaded and loaded and loaded.

“That’s typically a good sign. Computers on campus take forever to log you on the first time.” Astarion said. He picked up the picture of Yenna and examined it dispassionately. “Cute kid, is she yours?”

“Ah, no… that’s my niece.” Gale felt suddenly and incredibly self-conscious. “I’ve always wanted my own, but it wasn’t in the cards, I’m afraid.”

The admission shocked him slightly, but he supposed it was true. Mystra had never wanted kids, and Gale wanted to keep her pleased, so he went along with that. But Gale had always loved kids. He’d been so excited when Yenna was born that he could hardly put her down. Still, when people asked him and Mystra if they were planning on having kids, he’d just nod dutifully while she explained that he was too focused on his career to think about kids.

“Shame,” Astarion said, setting the picture frame back down.

Gale’s computer screen went black, and then an empty Windows desktop appeared. Success!

“Just in time to log out for the all-hands meeting!” Astarion exclaimed looking at his watch.

“Naturally…” Gale sighed.

[airyairyaucontraire]

Ever get your period a day or two before a trip and wish you could just shove the vacuum cleaner up there and get it all out in one go and not have to deal with that nonsense away from home and your own washing machine and so forth?

Look, I have to say I am not unappreciative for my good fortune in assorted ways but 2023 needs to pull its fucking socks up. First we spent the first week of the new year with COVID-19 cutting a swath through the household. My dad tested positive on New Year’s Day, his actual birthday. Long-time tumblies will be aware that my dad is a man of multifarious shortcomings but I really don’t think he altogether deserved that. So we’ve spent the week in semi-isolation with the weird feature that as the only adult who didn’t seem to get it, it’s like I’ve been quarantined in my room. (Tested negative daily the entire time, a rare feat for my generally very basic immune system.) There is nowhere to sit except the bed so I’ve basically been bedridden, while ACTUALLY PERFECTLY HEALTHY but endeavouring to avoid my closest relatives’ plague, and I’ve managed to fuck up the traitor muscle on the left side of my shoulder/neck/back axis due to inactivity/odd positions. The best thing that’s happened the entire fucking week is Little Nephew and I went out with masks on to buy Red Niece a new raincoat (Green Niece fits and loves his old raincoat but there’s only one of it) and had ice-cream/a milkshake before we went home, that was the fucking highlight. (Green Niece’s raincoat has a pattern of sharks. Red Niece’s raincoat has a pattern of butterflies and that is exactly what they are like as people.)

(It’s so interesting yet also sad to consider how different Little Nephew’s stillborn twin Harrison would have been from him, had he lived. I sometimes imagine two copies of Little Nephew scampering around here, but Harrison being as different from him as Red is from Green. I wish I could have known him and seen his individual ways. However, I also think “Christ Almighty, two sets of them would break us,” so it’s a bit of a thing all in all and I don’t share that thought with him or my sister obviously.)

My Red Niece comes to see me every day to demand an extremely specific My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic picture be printed off to be stuck to cardboard and cut out for her to play with rather than my sister having to source and purchase MULTIPLE discontinued toys from an earlier generation, and quite frankly even the current generation is not easy to find in New Zealand stores! We have been carefully preparing her psychologically for the fact that there is no printer at the beach house we’re going to for five days next week and she will have to make do with the ponies she’s got. I probably need to put in more time on this but it makes me a bit sad that other than describing the pictures she wants, she doesn’t really discuss FiM with me and as you know, I’ve got thoughts. And a purple wig I’ve worn to cosplay Human Rarity. I wonder where that is, or if I got rid of it in a fit of “The world has changed and this is never going to be my life again”? Because it was a cute wig and we’d make a swell Rarity and Sweetie Bell.

I’m sorry, you know I love Rarity (sobbing) so much

Also, am experimenting on myself and discovered that, per the neurologist’s suggestion, alcohol does reduce my leg tremor problem! Of course it also renders me unfit to drive and possibly to work, but that’s interesting to know, isn’t it!

And the weather’s been verily shit, so rainy, and forecast for rain every bloody day but one in the location we’re going to. There’s always hope for it to be nicer than forecast, I’ve certainly experienced that at times, but still, 2023, get your fucking act together! This is not good enough! You are going to be the Year of the Rabbit soon! Is this good enough for Sailor Moon? No! It is not!

And Little Nephew is having some manner of pre-pubescent hormonal surge that is apparently pretty common in eight-year-old lads and is on an emotional roller coaster which at times renders him dia-bleeding-bolical, my God, the fucking DRAMA

And I’ve just started my period and we’re going away the day after tomorrow

And I would just very much like 2023 to get its fucking shit together because it’s not easy for anyone but WE ARE BLOODY WELL TRYING

[mountain-rew]

Had to print something, feel like murder now

[you-show-me-love]

chaos!! hi!!! you're doing roommate prompts!? a match made in heaven! i feel like (any of) these could be fun <3

Person A wants to make a photo album for Person B’s birthday and realizes while looking through the pictures that over time, they seem to look more and more like a couple.

We all want to save the planet, but maybe starting with recycling is a more reasonable idea than showering with your roommate to save water.

You got yourself stuck in the bathroom again, I told you we need to call the caretaker to fix the lock on the door, why do you never listen, but yes, I’m getting a screwdriver,

@y0itsbri my love thank you for getting me out of my writing slump 💕 I chose the first prompt and I hope you enjoy!

"Ey. You're 'sposed to be helping me not texting, bitch."

Mandy didn't even glance up from her phone, not until Mickey slapped it out of her hands and turned her subtle smile into an obvious frown. 

"Well stop sitting there with your dick in your hand and tell me what you need me for." 

Mickey's dick was very much tucked away in his pants and actually in his hand was a stack of almost a hundred photos he had picked up from the printer on the way home. He passed the stack to Mandy and watched her flip through the stack with interest.

"Ian's birthday is this weekend and he's a sentimental little sappy bitch so I-"

Mandy looked up from her perusement as her brother stumbled over his explanation, watching his fair skin turn pinker and pinker with every word. 

"I took these photos off his Instagram so I could make him a little fuckin book of… of, I don't know, our time as roommates or whatever." 

Mandy let out an unattractive snort at his expense and held up the top photo of the stack. It was a picture of him and Ian at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Ian's arm was around Mickey's shoulders, squeezing him against his tall, lanky body in the uncomfortable summer heat. Just behind them, mostly a black smudge due to the focus, was a grumpy old black bear Ian had compared to Mickey just moments before. Cut off at the bottom of the photo was Mickey's middle finger to match the exasperated look on his face. 

"Just roommates huh?" 

Mickey made almost an identical expression as the photo just then, but his sister was undeterred. She held up the next photo. It was from the Gallagher pool party that same summer. One of Ian's many siblings had snapped the photo just as Mickey had climbed onto Ian's back as a human shield to protect his ginger ass from the sun. His arms were wrapped tightly around freckled shoulders and both of them were smiling wide with unheard laughter. It made Mickey smile just remembering that day and how Ian's back burned and peeled the whole week after despite Mickey's valient attempts at protection.

"We're friends, okay?" Mickey relented, getting up and grabbing the empty album and glue he bought from his top drawer. 

"Just friends huh?"

Mickey turned around and almost went cross eyed trying to take in the photo Mandy had shoved in his face. It was him and Ian again of course, taken right here in Mickey's room, in his bed. Mickey's face was scrunched with confusion, his eyes squinted shut so soon after he was pulled from sleep. His torso was bare and hair wild and next to him was a bright eyed, equally shirtless redhead beaming at his roommate's sleepy state. 

Mickey could see what his sister was insinuating. The photo showed two shirtless men in bed together and one could argue Mickey had some gnarly sex hair going on, but that's not at all what happened. 

"Listen it's not what it looks like. He barged into my room at the ass crack of dawn for national roommates day or some shit. It's not what it looks like. He's just a big weirdo!"

"What does it look like, Mick?"

Mickey knew what she wanted. She wanted to hear him say it. It was a Milkovich thing, to pick and needle at weaknesses until they felt satisfied with the raw open wound left behind. She wanted him to say it, wanted him to admit how he felt about what it looked like.

He felt warm when Ian put his arm around him, felt that heat rush into his cheeks when Ian pressed their heads together. He felt fluttery and jittery like he had too much caffeine when Ian smiled and laughed. That day he crawled into bed with Mickey, beyond feeling tired he felt like his heart couldn't find the right tempo to beat to. Ian made him feel so many things. Seeing all these pictures made him feel so many things. They looked like a couple. Mickey wanted them to be a couple….but Mickey also didn't want things to change for the worse if Ian rejected him. 

"Are you gonna help me or not?" Mickey said instead of confiding anything in the pain in the ass he called a sister. Mandy eyed him and the supplies in his hands before snatching them and holding everything in a pile against her chest.

"Leave it to me."

Mandy got the album back to Mickey all wrapped and ready for Ian's birthday literally minutes before they entered the Gallagher home. True to itself the house was full of noise and bodies and a handmade banner that proudly read HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!

The siblings easily picked the tall redhead out of the crowd. Ian greeted Mandy with a hug that lifted her feet off the floor.

"Don't you fuckin' dare." Mickey warned when Ian dropped his sister and turned to his roommate. It didn't stop Ian from giving him a big doofy hug, but at least his feet stayed on solid ground while it happened. 

With cake in their bellies and remnants of frosting on paper plates the party settled enough for Ian to open presents. Mickey suddenly felt nervous waiting for Ian to get to his. He wanted to see Ian's reaction but he was also curious to see what Mandy had constructed. Looking at her sitting on Lip's lap in the recliner, she looked just as anxious for Ian to get to Mickey's gift. 

Eventually the gift was in Ian's freckled hands, his long fingers digging and tearing into the wrapping paper. Mickey watched Ian's expression brighten as the booklet was revealed. 

"Shit Mick! This is amazing!"

Mickey looked down. On the cover of the album, written in gold; Ian & Mickey. Mickey rolled his eyes at the girly handwriting. Ian would be stupid to think Mickey had made this on his own. 

Ian didn't say anything about the girly writing, just cracked the album open. Mickey spotted the picture from the zoo, from the pool, from Mickey's own bed, and he realized the dumb fucker was going to look through every single page while his family and friends crane their necks to catch a peak. 

"Okay, okay. You get the picture. Move on."

Ian snorted at Mickey's unintentional play on words but kept flipping through page after page until the number of pages dwindled down to the last one. There was no photo on the last page, just something written in the same gold, girly handwriting. It took Mickey minute and a slight lean into Ian to see what it said. 

Ian, be my boyfriend?

Mickey opened his mouth, trying to figure out how to fix this. Mandy may think she's cute but she's fuckin dead for ruining what he and Ian had. He had to make this right. He couldn't lose Ian. It wasn't what it looked like.

Ian turned his head, face close to Mickey's since he was still leaning in. His green eyes were wide and shiny like he was about to cry. Mickey really hoped he didn't cry. 

"Yes." 

"Yes?" Mickey parroted back lamely.

Ian nodded eagerly and closed the small gap between them. Mickey's breath caught around his stuttering heart as Ian's lips pressed against his own and a big hand trailed from his cheek to the back of his head. Mickey let himself get lost in the moment, in the relief of not losing Ian and only gaining more of him. He wanted anything and everything Ian was willing to give.

A flash and whirl broke them apart. The pair looked over to see Mandy on the other side of the coffee table shaking a fresh polariod picture while passing the camera to Lip. Glancing at the developed photo she smirked and passed it to a dumbfounded Ian. 

"For the album."

[multi-fandom-inserts]

Show Me Going

Rosa Diaz x Female Reader (If this offends you, don’t read, simple as.)

This is set during the active shooter episode, I’ve changed a few details but just a warning if this subject is a trigger. ENJOY.

Masterlist.

XXX

“Come on Y/N, just a few more bits to fill in.” you mutter encouragingly to yourself, leaning back on your chair stretching out your back and fingers before rubbing your temples furiously in a desperate attempt to refocus on the computer screen in front of you but it was no luck, the new system the IT department had put in place took twice as long for warrants to be processed and approved as well as evidence to be categorised and assigned to cases which meant they take longer than average to fill out.

The atmosphere in the precinct was tense, the usually loud room with buzzing energy and laughter  had fallen silent with nothing but the echoing noises of fingers tapping on keyboards, coffee being drunk and the constant noise of the printer working in overdrive to keep up with the demands drowned out the frustrated groans made by your co-workers.

Everyone had fallen into their own miniature slums, Amy had reverted back to “secret” smoking and chewing the ends of her pens violently – which has caused more than one ink explosion – Terry was working in overdrive to keep everyone in upbeats spirits, running himself into the ground in the process, whilst Charles focused all his energy into waiting hand-and-foot on Jake who had managed to hurt himself more times in the last few weeks than his entire career in the police force and had been ordered to desk duty sorting through old case files as well as the odd open case that crept up, the boredom of which had now caused him to become even more childish and irritating – something the Nine-Nine didn't know was possible – and was currently entertaining himself by creating paper-areoplanes and throwing them around the bullpen.

“Here you go, Y/N.” spoke a voice that snapped you out of your day dream and made the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention.

Turning your head to the left, you see Rose Diaz, holding two brown take-out cups. She hands one over to you with a smile, you notice your name was written neatly on the side as you take the cup from her with a thank you; the detective watched you as you take a curious slip, she hadn't asked if you wanted a drink but as you let the delicious warm liquid of caramel Mocca fill your mouth, you hum intently.

It seemed like everyone was suffering except Rosa, and you could feel Jakes curious eyes settle on the pair of you as he listened and watched intently as the pair of you interacted. “When you've got a spare minute, could you help me search for some evidence on our case?” Rosa then asks, rather abruptly, also noticing Jakes eyes on the two of you, but from the side she manages to give you a half smile that wouldn't be seen by the prying detective.

You smiled back at her sweetly, “Yeah of course, let me just finish up the warrant requests and I'll be right with you.”

Rosa gave you a short nod and turned back to walk to her desk situated behind Charles who was sat in front of you typing away madly on his computer, from beside you, you could still feel Jakes hawk-like-eyes on you, one eyebrow raised and a stupid childish smile on his face.

“Is there something you wanted Peralta?” you ask in a short tone.

He snapped out of his trance and shook his head quickly, “Nope, Y/L/N. Nothing.” he stuttered, turning back to his computer; chuckling quietly to yourself, you turn back to your computer.

XXX

Twenty minutes later, you huff in annoyance and push yourself away from the desk, abandoning the warrant that won't process in a efficient amount of time and head for the Evidence Room, Rosa had disappeared from her desk ten minutes ago with a blue case file so you assumed she was in there but as you open the door; all the lights are turned off in the enclosed room; stepping in cautiously whilst attempting to feel for the light switch, the door shuts behind you, engulfing you in pitch black.

“Ah shit.” you hiss to yourself, turning swiftly to feel for the door handle but there was no luck, “I knew I should of listened to my mum when she said eat more carrots.”

Suddenly, a hand clamps down over your mouth from behind, muffling your squeak in surprise, instinctively you grab the wrist of your attacker, twisting your body and the arm around putting them into an arm-lock, pushing them against the chain link fence of the airlock.

“I taught you so well,” the familiar feminine voice whispers, immediately you let go of the figure in front of you allowing them to easily turn the main light on, sure enough, you were face-to-face with the beautiful chocolate brown eye of Rosa, who wore a huge shit-eating smirk on her face with pride. You roll your eyes and shove her playfully.

“You scared the shit out of me!” you whisper in fake annoyance, unable to stop the goofy smile creeping onto your face.

Rosa chuckles, taking your hand and pulling you closer, placing a gentle her lips on yours and lingering for a moment before separating, “We agreed we wouldn't do this at work,” you grumble, pulling her in for another kiss, this one more passionately as your tongue glides across her lower lip, asking for access as you deepen the kiss.

Rosa moans into the kiss before pulling your lips apart and hugging you tightly, “I know, but I couldn't sit there and watch you all stressed out and anxious anymore.”

Smiling, you rest your head on the front of her shoulder, inhaling deeply taking in the familiar smell of her perfume, motorbike oil and the leather jacket she wears religiously, “You know they'll figure out we are dating eventually, Jake seems to be on the trail.” you say to her.

You can feel her nod, “Yeah honey I know – but don't worry about that for now, we'll tell them when we are ready.” she assures you, squeezing you tightly before releasing you, “Why don't you get out of here for  bit? Go get some food and fresh air.”

“But we are busy with this case?” you ask her.

The detective smiles, rolling her eyes gently as she cups your chin in her hand, “Go, get out of here... before I get my taser and chase you ouy.” she playfully threatens, kissing you one last time.

XXX

You would never tell her to her face – but Rosa was right, getting away from work and some fresh air is exactly what you needed.

A short drive from work was a small café hidden amongst the busseling city, taking a seat outside you sip on your tea in-between eating your chocolate croissant. Breathing a sign of relief as you watch the city move around you, strangers going about their daily lives, going to work, seeing family, spending the day with loved ones. It causes a sinking feeling in your stomach, Rosa and yourself weren't out in the open with your relationship, you both have witnessed Captain Holt receive abuse because of his sexuality and neither yourself or Rosa were ready to face that in the work place let alone in your personal life.

And sadly, the sinking feeling doesn't stop there, as your radio crackles to life with a message no one in law enforcement wants to hear.

XXX

After you left, Rosa stayed in the Evidence Locker for a while as she really did have some evidence to find relating to the case the two of you were working on, but thanks to the new filing system and the lack of Evidence Attendant workers, it took twice as long to fins what she needed and when Rosa entered back into the bull-pen, evidence in hand, she is greeted with the sight of everyone crowded around Gina's desk with their backs to her.

“What's going on?” Rosa asks but is responded to with sharp, loud hushes.

She's taken aback but then she hears the buzzing static noise of a radio, quickly Rosa joins the half circle around the radio and listens carefully, “There's an active shooter in a hotel in Brooklyn Heights.” Holt tells Rosa, her heart sinks and the rest of the team takes a sharp inhale at the confirmation from their Captain.

“Requesting additional units.” a female voice speaks over the radio.

“Multiple causalities, ESU is en-route and nearby officers are responding to the scene right now.” Holt tells the squad keeping them updated.

Rosa's hands ball into fists, whitening the knuckles as her hands begin to sweat. Jake bits his lip as Amy chews her pen.

“Multiple shots fires, please be aware civilians running from scene and are on the streets.” Dispatch informs.

Charles takes a deep breath and holds it until it hurts before breathing out slowly as Terry flares his nostrils.

“Johnson, 2938, show me going” a male voice speaks over the radio.

“2938, I have you going.” Dispatch confirms.

“Gilbert, 9825, show me going.” another male speaks.

“9823, I have you going.” Dispatch confirms.

“What are they saying?” Gina asks – who had begun to pick at her nail polish – looking up at Captain Holt from her desk.

“Show me going and their badge number, they are telling Dispatch that they are close by and responding.” Holt explains calmly.

“Y/L/N, 2103, show me going.”

Everyone around Gina's desk freezes, the one line was spoken so quickly no one wanted to believe they heard it, until Dispatch confirms.

“2103, I have you going.”

“Y/L/N! As in our Y/N!” Charles shrieks worriedly.

“That's her badge number.” Jake then confirms, looking up at Rosa who looked over to him, the colour in her face had drained, her jaw hung loose in disbelief as her balled up hands began to shake. The squads eyes dart from one person to the next, everyone slowly coming to terms with what they had just heard.

“She's there.” Amy said quietly to herself, but in the silence atmosphere it echoed loudly.

Rosa swallows thickly, her heart beating a million miles an hour, echoing in her head making it pound, palms sweating with an uneasy lump forming in her throat choking her. Without a word, the detective turned sharply on her heels and took off in a fast, brisk walk towards the bathroom down the corridor, bile climbed her throat as her vision starts to blur at the edges.

Locking the main door to the bathroom, Rosa breaks into a sprint for the toilet, barely making it in time before her lunch made a reappearance. For twenty minutes, she stares into the toilet bowl eventually gaining the strength to push herself back up, flushing the toilet and heading over to the sink, gripping the edge of the sink with all her strength, running the water to mask the thick and fast tears that fell from her eyes.

A million thoughts rushed through the detectives head, was Y/N safe? Where was she in the hotel? Is she hurt?

Just as Rosa begins to panic, a loud knock echoes on the bathroom door, followed by Jakes voice.

“Rosa? Are you okay?”

Taking a deep breath, the detective tries to calm herself enough to respond, “Yeah, I'm fine.” she manages before a wave of new tears form.

Jake doesn't believe her, through their training at the academy and multiple cases together, Jake has learnt to read the seemingly emotionally unavailable woman pretty well; and he knows better than to push her as he hears the unevenness of her voice and attempted hidden sniffles.

“Captain is holding an emergency meeting in the Briefing Room in five minutes,” Jake then speaks, not wanting to push her.

Rosa nods as if he can see her, looking at her blood shot eyes, blotchy skin and pale complexion, “Okay, I’ll be out in a minute.” she responds.

Jake doesn't respond, instead he waits. Rosa washes her face with cold water, tries her tears and swallows her emotions as best as she can, unlocking the door she steps out and Jake engulfs her in a bear hug – something they never do often – but as Jake waits for Rosa to shove him away, instead she wraps her arms around him and returns the hug gratefully.

“Thank you buddy.” she mumbles, letting go.

Jake smiles softly at her before turning to walk towards the Briefing Room.

Holt and Terry stand at the front of the room, Jake by Charles, Amy and Rosa on their own tables and Gina stood in the corner. The tension is the room was thick, worry and anxiousness radiated off everyone, even Captain Holt had a nervousness about himself.

“A Captain at the 9-7 has given us a brief update, there's two possible three shooters in Brooklyn Heights – ” Holt started but Jake swiftly interrupted.

“Any casualties?”

“Three head, many wounded – all civilians.”  Holt speaks. “ESU is on scene and the area is being locked down, it's a zoo out there, we have been ordered to stay here on alert but not to respond.”

“That's crazy!” Amy yells.

The room is taken aback by her outburst but Holt doesn't seem fazed, “I know you're all worried about Y/N, but she is not alone, she is part of a massive NYPD response.  I promise I will keep you updated as the situation develops, in the meantime, you all have jobs to do. Dismissed.”

The room clears out, Rosa lingers as Jake and Amy talk.

“She'll be okay, Ams.” Jake comforts her.

Amy smiles through gritted teeth, touching her boyfriends shoulder, “I know. I love you.” she says.

“I love you too.” Jake smiles happily.

That's when it hit Rosa like a bus.

A realisation she never thought she'd have.

A feeling she never thought she'd feel.

She loves you.

XXX

Three Hours Later...

The echoing sound of gunshots rung in your ears, sending glass sparing over you and the officer you are paired with. The heavy bulletproof vest you wear constricts your chest more than the heavy sinking feeling of anxiety that sits in the pit of your stomach, when suddenly an officer in the squad next to yours yells in pain, turning swiftly you see a brief sight of red blood.

“Move! Move! Move!” you yell to your team as more bullets fly through the air.

“Squad Beta-Nine to Dispatch, we are pinned down.” a male next to you speaks over the radio, “Multiple shooters on west side, seventh window up. Do you have a clear shot?”

Your heart beat echoes in your head, white noise takes over blurring out everything else, holding your gun close  you check the bullets, secure your vest and helmet. As the bullets hit the wall you're all barricaded behind, you close your eyes and all you see is her – Rosa, with that stupid smirk she wears, her leather jacket she lets you wear when you get cold, the helmet she hands you when she forces you on the back of her bike.

Oh my god, you suddenly think, your eyes bursting open, “I love her.” you whisper to yourself.

XXX

“GUYS!” Charles screams – despite everyone in the squad being in a two metre radius of him.

“What is it?” Rosa asks, her voice strained.

Everyone gathers round Charles as he twitches from foot-to-foot, unable to stand still, “They just took three shooters into custody. Officers got injured in the action, they don't say how many or who they are.” he tells everyone, a small weight is lifted from everyone but tension still runs through them.

“Call Y/N.” Jake turns to Rosa, pointing at the phone in her pocket.

Amy raises her eyebrow, curious as to why Rosa would call Y/N when she was her best friend, but before the Sergeant had a chance to ask, Rosa already had her phone to her ear, the ring tone rhythmically humming away. “Her phone is off.” Rosa mutters.

“Fuck.” Holt lets slip.

Jakes eyes widen but now is not the time to react to the Captains potty mouth, no matter how incredible of  a moment it was.

Forty-Five Minutes Later...

The bull-pen was silent. No one spoke. No one worked. Everyone sat at their desks, anxious, scared and on edge.

“Listen up,” Holt's voice shatters the void, “I don't have the names of the injured officers, but is Y/N is unharmed, she should be contacting us shortly. Or, if her phone is dead, she might be walking out of the elevator at any moment.”

And almost as if by magic, the elevator ping’s and the door slides open... revealing... Scully holding a meatball sub.

“AH COME ON!” Rosa screams so loud it causes Scully to jump out of his skin, throwing the meatball sub all over the floor spilling the sauce, meat and bread all over the floor.

From the corner, you let out a laugh, “Damn it Rosa, that looked like a good sandwich.” you speak.

The entire room jumped to attention, all smiling, calling your name but before you got a chance to respond to everyone who moved to hug you, Rosa barged through the crowd, sending Jake and Charles flying into the nearby desks as she grabbed your face tightly and kissed you.

The entire room erupted in gasps as you returned the kiss, wrapping your arms around her neck, and when you both pulled apart, everyone in the bull-pen was staring at you, you took Rosa's hand in yours as you faced your boss, co-workers and friends, Jake and Holt had a huge grin on their faces – as did Gina, who insisted on slow clapping – Amy and Terry looked shocked as Charles looked like he was about to faint.

“So I guess the cats out of the bag.” You said with a laugh.

“We are all very happy for you.” Holt said, a soft smile settled on his usually emotionless expression.

The entire squad nodded in confirmation. “I knew you'd been happier for a reason.” Terry winked, punching Rosa's shoulder playfully.

Everyone laughed, it felt incredible not to hide it, the weight from your chest disappeared and you felt out of this world. Rosa squeezed your hand gently. “Y/N why don't you head home and get some rest, it's been a long and stressful day for you.” Holt says, you nod with a small smile, and head over to your desk to collect your things, “Oh, Detective, Take Diaz with you. The two of you deserve a afternoon off.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Rosa says, grabbing your hand again as the pair of you say your goodbyes and leave the precinct.

As the two of you step out into the fresh air, Rosa pulls you into a tight hug, her shoulder quiver slightly, “Hey, babe, I'm okay, I'm back with you.” you assure her, rubbing her back gently.

Rosa pulls away, her arms still wrapped around your waist, resting her forehead on yours, “I love you.” she whispers.

A large grin breaks onto your face, “I love you too.”

[gojology]

Job Benefits (Part Three)

broken routines - chapter three.

you can find part two here : 

part two : undesirable pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader warnings : cursing wordcount : 1442 a/n : im highly disappointed with this but im very hyped abt writing part 4 and uh i need to change my writing style sooner or later wtf is this mess LOL

     If there’s one thing Gojo knows more then his own body, it’s routines.       It’s what he grew up around, coming from such a bustling family. Since he learned how to walk, he had attended many interviews, gone to parties, all in one day. Of course, it was commonplace in his already hectic life. He saw routine in everything.      Imagine his shock when you came into the office in an outfit that differed so greatly from your regular one that his jaw might unhinge and fall off.      He can’t wrap his head around why, but he’s utterly confused as to why you changed this up. Was it permanent, and why the change? He had many questions going through his head. This is one of the many negative traits Gojo Satoru has; he thinks his input is important, even though the majority of time it is... Maybe it was somewhat justified. But he doesn’t realize how unnecessary it comes out to be when no one asked.      No one had ever told him no, of course they hadn’t, he was ranked nationally as an important kid due to his wit and charismatic personality, essential for entering the business industry.     When he opened his mouth to speak, even at 8 years old at his parent’s conferences, the old professionals would all look at him, keenly waiting for his orders, or perhaps his opinion. This was what he grew up having; so naturally he didn’t know any boundaries, nor did he know when to close his mouth.      But that’s besides the point, he thoroughly enjoyed the look on you.     He takes his normal trip down the hallway into your office, humming a tune, a messy stack of papers in one hand, a custom ceramic mug in the other; made personally just for him. He expects to see you in your regular outfit, a pencil skirt, white t-shirt, the short clicky heels, and the black blazer. It certainly made for an excellent example of casual, formal attire.      Unexpectedly, you’re not. You’re calling someone, phone perched delicately on your shoulder almost as if it’s supposed to slip out, your hair framing your face. Lips parting as you start responding to whatever is on the opposite side, and he notices an evident gloss, your lips are a different color too.      You glance up at him and gesture to your phone, and his hands are shoved deep into his pockets, taking this extra time to examine you up and down. White turtleneck, layered alongside a slightly unbuttoned dress shirt with a crisp warm toned brown trench coat. Not too long, not too short.       Simple gold jewelry adorned your neck, and his eyes caught onto the gold bracelet that jingled on your arm as you swayed it around; he kinda found it cute how even when the person you were talking to wasn’t in front of you, you were still so animated.      Gojo can’t see your pants nor your shoes, but he’s about to enter cardiac arrest because truthfully he didn’t expect that you knew how to dress.     “What?” you say, words dripping with venom and menace, putting the phone back down. He’s taken aback, what’s with the tone?      “What do you mean, what, (Y/N)?” giving you a shit eating grin, he takes a step closer to your table.     “Answer my question, I asked first.” you shot back, now crossing your legs, you hope you look bored just to add more insult to injury. The guy deserved it for thinking the world revolved around him.      He doesn’t answer, instead staring at you, setting his cup of coffee onto the already crowded tabletop, slightly hunched over. You feel your heart drop. Fuck, maybe seeking some sort of symbolic revenge against your boss wasn’t the best of ideas.    Actually, none of your ideas were the best last night. Naturally you’d only think up disasters when you were under distress.     “What’s with the new outfit? Buy a new fashion sense on Amazon?” he finally inquires, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, brushing your... Rude words aside.      You shrug, pulling out your planner from the drawer and mumbling, biting your pen before writing inside, they’re mindless words. You hope your acting is good, because you want to cry again even at the slight sound of those words. “I don’t know, I felt like I would try something different.” Fuck, were was the sass? Why did you answer nervously? Why did you feel so scared?      There was obviously something that you wanted to do rather then chit chat with him, and Gojo’s now unoccupied hand rubs his neck, this was suddenly so awkward, even for someone as lively as him.     “Hm. Right. Anyways, these were in the printer.” he slaps the freshly printed lukewarm pages onto your desk. “Figured these were yours, still had your name on them.”      “Ah. Thanks.” you say before yawning, covering your mouth before sliding the papers back into the drawer behind you- as if you had no care for them. Actually, you didn’t. This was apart of your master plan that you had crafted at 1 AM last night, too exhilarated to rest. You would print papers out in Gojo’s printer, which you had used once in a while prior so it wouldn’t be too suspicious, and since Gojo never left the dang office he’d hear the sounds and return them to you.       Both of you were silent again, and he’s debating between hitting you up with a topic of conversation, perhaps a joke, but you seem so uninterested he’s not sure if it’s the right moment.      “Just to let you know- your lunch break is in 10 minutes.” he adds, whistling to try to appear careless, but he could feel his heart sinking. You were acting unusually cold, no dramatic tantrums from you that he usually loved. In fact, that was the whole reason why he liked coming to your office. That, and the cute stationary.     “Ah! Really?” you make sure to act like you just got a ticket to heaven, just as a petty way of saying, “Hey. You’re boring. I want to get out.” and Gojo’s pretty sure that all the contents of his heart was shattered now.       Hmph. Whatever, if you continued this behavior he’d swear he’d fire you, but even he knows that’s not true. He had grown fond about you over the small amount of time that you had worked as his secretary, besides, what was a good work life if you didn’t have a good relationship with your very own secretary? He’s sure his banter doesn’t affect you.     “Yeah.” he says, now quiet. He turns his back on you, pausing for a quick moment before walking out, not before he bangs the top of his forehead against the door frame, which earned a slight groan out of him, and just like that he left. You still hear the faint clicking against the tile floor from his shoes.       You exhaled a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, twirling your office chair to look at the large window pane behind your desk. This was something you admired about the architecture of the building you worked out. Every single office had a large window facing Tokyo, so late working hours would always involve beautiful city lights and the bustling of night life.       The sun and sky was bright and cheery, and it comforted your frazzled body. Today wasn’t as bad as yesterday, but it still felt strange from not having your daily ridiculous conversation with Gojo- and strangely you missed it.       Instilled with energy and motivation, you stand up, pulling your bento out of your bag, determined to go through with the rest of your plan. You knew Gojo had a good friend that worked here, Keto Sugareu or something like that. You’d have lunch with him, work your feminine charms, and that was that.       It wasn’t like you wanted to, but a part of you so desperately wanted to prove to Gojo that you could be smart, witty, yet sexy at the same time. You weren’t a prude- just someone not as exposed to these lifestyles.     But you didn’t really eat your lunch in the break room, rather, you were almost always in your very own office. If you weren’t found in there, it’d either be the bathroom or conspiring to steal Gojo’s luxury coffee machine at your house. Infact, you’re not even quite sure if you remember how it looks like.    “Whatever.” you mumble to yourself, before scooping up your utensils and napkins and heading out for the break room.      You shouldn’t have ever stepped foot into that cursed hellish room that day.

nice to see u down here, u want chapt 4? too bad. just kidding! here, have at it.  chapter four : conspiring     

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Dany congratulations!!! You are one of the most hard working writers that I know and you are an inspiration for us who want to be like you <3 If you would like to write it, I was thinking of "1.tiny hands in big hands" for Benny Borracho :D

Part of Youvebeenlivingfictional’s 2K Follower Celebration Thank you!! 🥰🥰 Rating: T Warnings: Fluuufff fluff fluff fluff, a cute baby, Dad Borracho (also I’ve had this idea for this dynamic for a while so if Cristobal and Dad Borracho pop up in another fic in the future...... Don’t be surprised 👀)

It was rare that it happened, but now and again, one of the guys will get stuck bringing one of their kids with them to the office. It was always fun, watching the team try to stave off cursing for a child’s sake. And you being the only woman in the office, they guys would try to pass their kids off on you— but the fact of the matter is that of the entire team, you were one of the only people without kids. That shit didn’t fly with you. The only person that never tried to pass their kid off to you is Borracho. Of all of them, it was rarest that Borracho’s son had to come with him to the office (most often, Connors’ daughter, Sara, was there with you all). Borracho’s son was two and a half, had Borracho’s nose and hair, and the cutest little pout. When you arrived at the office that morning, you found Borracho sitting at his desk with Cristobal in his lap.

Look, you had a reputation to maintain, so you weren’t cooing, but what the fuck, that toddler-sized LA Dodger’s cap was so fucking cute. Most of the guys wound up out on calls, out of the office for the day— it was only you, Borrahco, and little Cris in the office. The kid was ecstatic— he had the run of the place, peering around desks, opening drawers. At one point, you felt a pull on your pant leg, and you glanced down to see Cris staring up at you from under the brim of that hat (that adorable fucking hat). “Hey buddy,” You smiled, leaning on the arm of the desk chair. He held his arms up, pouting. You glanced over at Borracho, finding him engrossed in his work. You sighed, pushing your chair back a little. “Alright, pal, but don’t tell your uncles about this, huh?” You said, settling Cris on your lap. You found an old form, flipping it over and passing him a pen before turning back to your work. -- “Is he buggin’ you?” It was maybe an hour later when you heard Borracho. “No,” You looked up at him, shaking your head, “We’re getting our work down, right, Cris?” Cris nodded a little, the brim of his fricking adorable hat bobbing as he scribbled across another piece of printer paper. “See?” You offered, looking at Borracho. He was watching you with an almost unreadable expression. Your brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?” “No, uh— Nothing. Thanks,” He added. “Tell no one,” You warned, pointing at him. He raised a hand in surrender, chuckling softly. You knew that if it was any of the other guys, you’d never hear the end of it, and the other guys would absolutely hear about what had happened— but Borracho was a sweet guy, and a good dad. -- “Break time.” You and Cris both looked up, confused by Borracho’s declaration. “Lunch,” He added. “You heard daddy, it’s your lunch time, bud,” You said, pushing your chair back. Cristobal whined, and you shushed him softly, “Don’t worry, all of your drawings are gonna be here when you get back.” “Lunch time for you, too,” Borracho urged, “I ordered from the place around the corner, got your usual.” Your brows rose a little bit. “You didn’t have to do that,” You said softly. He shrugged a little bit, carefully lifting Cristobal out of your lap. “You’ve been working all morning, non-stop,” He pointed out. He nodded over his shoulder, tacking on, “Right, Cris?” “Luch!” Was Cris’ precise answer. You grinned, unable to help it as Borracho chuckled. “He hasn’t got ‘n’s down yet,” He muttered, reaching up and righting Cris’ cap a bit. -- The three of you wound up in the break room. For every bite Borracho took, he fed Cris, or cut another piece of food for him, or passed him his juice box, or wiped his chin. And he wasn’t fumbling the way you’d seen a couple of the other guys with their kids. This seemed like second nature to Borracho. “...You want any?” Borracho asked after a moment. “You asking about your sandwich or the kid in your lap?” You asked. He chuckled softly. “Second one.” “...I don’t know,” You shrugged, “Sometimes I do.” “And other times?” “Other times, I don’t,” You shrugged. Borracho hummed, reaching down and passing Cris his juice box as he began to reach for it. “You’re good with ‘em. Not just Cris, I’ve seen how you are with Sara when she’s around.” “Well, Sara’s a sweet kid. So’s Cris.” Cris didn’t even look up at the sound of his name, more focused on gripping his dad’s hand.

“What, bud?” Borracho murmured, following his son’s focus. 

“Taa—!”

“Tattoo?” Borracho asked knowingly. You raised a brow, watching him reach into his pocket and pull out a sharpie. He uncapped it before passing it to Cris.

“Tattoo?” You repeated.

“Cris likes to give me ‘tattoos’,” Borracho murmured, and you couldn’t help your gut twisting at the adoring expression on his face as Cris began to doodle on his wrist. 

“My brother’s a tattoo artist,” Borracho added, glancing up at you, “So most of the family has, ‘em. He sees ‘em on everybody. And I’d rather he draw on me than the walls around here.” 

You nodded a little, watching Cris draw until he seemed satisfied. 

“Good job, little man,” Borracho grinned, opening his hand wide. Cris gave a haphazard high-five, his hand dwarfed by his father’s. You lowered your eyes to your food, picking up a fry and popping it into your mouth. 

Fries were good to focus on. 

Fries and not the insane crush that you could feel blooming on your coworker. 

“Buddy,” You heard Borracho warn softly. You looked down to see Cris standing beside you with the marker in his hand, excited and expectant. You smiled, pushing your chair back a bit and pulling the kid into your lap before you rolled up the sleeve of your blouse, offering Cris your left forearm.

“Go nuts, kiddo.” 

You were so focused on Cris and his drawing that you didn’t see the way Borracho was smiling, watching you with his son. He wouldn’t tell you until years later, but that was the moment he fell in love with you.

[willowbird]

For the prompt game — could you do AU 1, trope 8, location 2 for Andreil? I always love reading these, thanks for sharing!

Grad School, return of the childhood best friend, inside Andrew's closet!!! Thank you so much for sending in the ask I'm glad you're enjoying the little ficlets and I hope you like this one too!

-----

Tall people were a curse. A blight on all of society. Civilization would undoubtedly crumble under the obnoxious stomping of their huge feet and the polar ice caps would melt at least in part due to the heat from their big fat heads.

Also, all the tall fuckers in Andrew's cohort were constantly putting things in places Andrew couldn't reach, especially when it came to the supply closet off of the office the group of them communally used. It had gotten to the point that Andrew had taken full command of the ordering and organization of all their supplies. Last month he had even gone so far as to print out and laminate a full-color sign for the closet that read: NO ONE ABOVE 5'3 PERMITTED. SEE ANDREW J MINYARD FOR ALL SUPPLY RETRIEVAL.

The only reason he'd given the extra few inches at all was because Robin, the undergrad TA that assisted in one of his classes, sometimes helped him out and she was a whole three inches taller than him. It was enough of a restriction that it barred the rest of his cohort from intruding, though, as even Renee was a solid 5'8.

Or at least, it should have been an effective restriction. Andrew had thought the rest of his team could read well enough to get the goddamn message. Then he showed up this morning and the fucking closet door was open and where was the box of printer ink he'd ordered last week?

That's right, on the top fucking shelf.

When Andrew figured out which idiotic fucking beanpole had decided to pull this shit with him there was going to be hell to pay. He would raid his cat's litter box for ammunition if he had to.

For the moment, though, he needed to replace the ink in both printers. Which was why he was balancing precariously on the arms of the only non-rolly chair on the goddamn floor, straining to reach the box of ink and quietly promising to take an extra dose of revenge out of each and every person over 5'3 if he fell.

Which he almost did when a sharp knock suddenly echoed a bit too loud from directly behind him.

"Jesus fuck what is wrong with y--" Andrew cut off abruptly as he looked over his shoulder to see who had dared come up behind him at a time like this. He blinked, then he fully closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. When the man before him was still fucking there, Andrew twisted slightly and jumped down, letting his ass hit the seat as he overbalanced on the landing.

"Um... hi."

It had been almost ten years since Andrew had heard that voice. Ten years. In that time Neil had gone from being a scrawny, anxious kid to... well...

Vivid blue eyes stared at him steadily, winged with eyeliner that only made them brighter. His dark russet-auburn hair was shaved close to his head on the sides but long enough on the top that he'd gathered it back in a loose bun, which only emphasized the perfect angles of his face and the soft give of his mouth, the way his chin carved down to a point as if to frame it, drawing the eye.

"Andrew? I didn't mean to surprise you. Well, I did, that's why I didn't tell you I was coming. I didn't mean to almost make you fall off a chair though..."

Neil clicked a tongue-piercing against his teeth. It flashed silver for a moment, matching the two bars that bisected his left eyebrow. Purple studs and a line of tiny hoops trailed up each ear.

Andrew stared, then he did the only rational thing and reached forward, grabbing the doorknob and slamming it shut with himself inside the closet.

His heart was fucking pounding, and he knew his face was flushed because, look. Look. Neil Josten at fourteen years old had been a scrawny kid with big ears and a chipped tooth that was always covered in bruises and Andrew had been so fucking in love with him. All he ever wanted to do as a baby gay was kiss Neil Josten. Thought about it all the time. But that had been off the table because Neil was his best friend and probably asexual and also literally trying to survive. When Neil moved to the other side of the fucking planet to be with his uncle, Andrew had told himself that this was a good thing because 1) Neil would be safe and 2) if there was distance between them then Andrew could finally get over him.

Over the last ten years they'd exchanged regular letters, but because Neil was a fucking technophobe and there may or may not have been an actual hit from actual hitmen and gangsters and shit on him over here in the states - they hadn't spoken on the phone and no pictures had been shared.

And now here was Neil. Almost twenty-four and... so so fucking hot.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by a quiet, anxious, "Andrew..?" that sounded a lot more like the Neil Andrew remembered.

"Um... should I go? I'm sorry... I thought... I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'll go..."

"No!" The word escaped him before he had time to really think about it. He was pretty sure his voice cracked a little in his desperation too. Shit. Andrew cleared his throat and tried again. "Just... wait. I.. need to get ink."

"Okay."

Andrew did his best not to read into the mystery in Neil's tone. Instead, he thanked the closet gods and carefully climbed back up onto the chair. Another couple of minutes later he had the ink he needed and was facing a coming out he really never anticipated having to go through. Coming out of the closet to your best friend was one thing. Coming out of the literal, actual closet you have shut yourself in to reunite with your super hot best friend that you've been in love with for over a decade at this point was quite another.

Ripping the band-aid off was really the only way to go, so Andrew took a deep breath, put his free hand on the knob, and opened the door.

Neil had repositioned himself and was now leaning against the nearest desk. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows exposing strong forearms decorated with swirls of dark ink. Three fingers on each hand bore rings (not the ring fingers, not that Andrew was specifically looking) and his nails were painted a dark, glossy gray. Around one wrist was a frayed bracelet that perfectly matched the one Andrew also wore on the same wrist.

As soon as Neil saw him, he lit up. A smile on his face that shined in his eyes, even if there was a slight hesitance to it - understandable considering Andrew had just.. you know... shut himself in a closet after seeing him.

"Hey... Sorry again, about that. I know you don't like to be startled. I just... I got excited."

Andrew swallowed, a tough feat with a throat so dry. Somehow, he managed a snort. "Like a puppy. Should I be worried about my floors, Josten?"

"I dunno, you gonna scratch me behind the ears?" Neil shot back, and the smirk that accompanied it was fucking devastating. That's is, Andrew gave up. He lost. Dead, he was dead. There was no way he was getting out of this one.

Andrew did the only thing he could do to keep himself from grabbing the little bastard and kissing him senseless, which was ask the big question hanging in the room between them.

"How are you here, Neil? I thought you'd never be able to come back to American soil."

Neil rubbed the back of his neck, like he was thinking of the best way to explain it. After a moment he said, "Uncle Stuart still doesn't think it's a great idea - but there's no price on my head anymore. As of last month we cleared out the last of... well, let's just call them the old bad guys. There are new bad guys, but they don't really care about me."

It took a moment for that to fully sink in. Andrew set down the ink on the desk and moved to stand directly in front of Neil. When Neil stood up straight, they were almost exactly the same height - Neil only really had a few inches on him. At least he hadn't been lying to make him feel better when he'd told him in a letter a few years back that he'd topped out at 5'3.

"So? Don't you have a whole new life over in jolly old England now? Friends and family who don't regularly try to kill you? Why come back at all?"

He knew why, but he wanted - he needed - to hear him say it.

"Yeah, but... they aren't you."

"Me."

"Yeah, Andrew. You."

Their eyes met. Something in Andrew's chest snapped like an overworked rubber band stretched too taut and all the carefully sequestered feelings it had been keeping at bay suddenly sprang forth like a tidal wave. They rushed through him, filling him up, buoying him until he probably could have reached the top shelf of that goddamn closet without the chair.

"I hate you," Andrew ground out. And Neil smiled, because he knew it wasn't true.

"I missed you, Andrew. I missed you so fucking much."

"Shut up, stupid." Andrew forced himself to take a deep breath, then he snatched up Neil's hand and started dragging him out of the office. "Come on. We're getting ice cream."

Neil laughed and squeezed his hand. "Some things never change."

No, Andrew thought, some things never do.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Inked

Still on hiatus. But I found an old piece of writing and I revamped it just a smidge! It was originally published in 2018 on calumh-excess. Which is now deactivated. Hooray for finding pieces!

Calum's been watching Jay for a while. She's cute, talented, but a bit of mystery. Should he really give into her? What will it take for him to admit he has a crush?

Enjoy my masterlist (on hiatus)

______________

He watched her sometimes for far too long. The way her tongue stuck out as she pulled the skin and her hand worked steadily with the needle made it hard for him to resist. Her face always seemed to catch the harsh fluorescent lights and reflect it back so that it twinkled against her skin. A slight sheen, but nothing just of ethereal. He wasn’t even interested in any new ink, not seriously anyway. He had slowed on the ink train, but the shop his tattoo artist owned was a nice place to hang out sometimes. When he wanted to get out of his house but didn’t want to actually go somewhere, he could hang out here, listening to the buzz of the tattoo gun, poke his hand at trying a design here or there. They weren't great. He hadn't considered him this kind of artist, but the shop felt like a second home.

Besides, having her around was a more than welcomed bonus.

He wasn’t even sure what it was about her. She showed up about a year and a half ago, under an apprenticeship. Calum’s artist was unsure of her, much like everyone else that asked to work under him. A hazard of the job, according to the job, according to Calum's artist. However, her drawings spoke volumes; the colors and line work were impeccable. She had talent and knew it without being cocky about it. Well, sometimes she wasn’t. Calum watched her run into the occasional asshole that tried to belittle her; she always put her foot down in those situations. He didn’t fault her.

Today’s no different. When Calum walks in, he greets the guy at the front desk, eyes searching for her. He spots her in the back with her oversized frames creating a small glare over her brown eyes. He never quite got the appeal of the grandma-shaped glasses trend, but on her, they worked. She looked wise but soft. The glass pulled him in, felt like she was seeing into his soul. Maybe she was; maybe the pain made people more vulnerable than they anticipated--entrusting someone, a stranger in some ways, to permanently mark you and not fuck it up. Whatever the reason, looking at her felt timeless. Like she had seen it all, and you are just waiting for you to spill all the secrets.

“You finally going to get some new ink?” Calum’s artist teases.

Calum shakes his head, turning his attention away from her. “You finally took her training wheels off?”

“Your girlfriend’s got mad skills. I couldn’t baby her forever. Jay works hard on each piece, learned fast. Got a steady ass hand and pretty gentle for handling a needle.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, because you haven’t hardly even talked to her. Go for it, you wuss. What’s the worst she says? No?”

Calum exhales a chuckle. "I mean, the worst she stabs me with the tattoo gun. But considering the ink I'm already sporting, I doubt that's really all that bad.”

“Jay would not do that unless you asked for it, ff course. But really, go on, ask her out.”

Calum glances back at Jay. It’s a nickname. No one in the shop calls her by her full name. The only reason Calum heard it was when a client came asking for her. Jay was quick to correct them.

She wipes, clearing excess ink, before dipping back into the small cup. Jay smiles up at her client. Calum's sure they appreciate the reprise. Getting tattoos weren't always fun, but bearable enough to forget about it and get more.

Calum turns his gaze away. “I recommended you to a friend,” he says, hoping that he’ll escape the teasing. It’s not likely to happen. But at least he tries to minimize the ridicule.

"I appreciate it. Are they a first-timer?"

"A second-timer, but they're visiting town and want some new ink. I figured best not to fuck them over."

The two men laugh before Calum's escorted back to look through some new designs. Just in case something sparks his interest. Calum's visit is supposed to be short, but there's not much else on his to-do list for the day. He could kill a few hours here.

When Calum comes out from the back, after spending too much time pretending art was ever a talent of his, he looks for Jay again. She’s not in her corner, nor is she at the front. Calum shrugs, figuring she might have gone for lunch, or home depending.

As Calum walks to his car, he checks his phone. Nothing major's happened.

“Leaving so soon?” A voice states. Calum knows that voice, a little gravelly, mostly sweet. He’s dreamt of it every so often. He prays to hear it when he visits the shop.

He turns to Jay, who leans against the bricks. A vape is wrapped in her fingers. “Gotta get some dinner, maybe make a run to the grocery store," Calum returns. "I've gotten lazy."

She nods. “This reminds me that I can't survive off BLTs forever," she laughs.

"You could try, but I think you'd need other vegetables and some fruit in that mix too."

She pushes up on her glass with a nod. "Ah, yes, gotta get the whole food pyramid." It goes silent between them and Calum gives another nod, raising a few fingers to signal his departure while still keeping his phone in a secure enough grip.

"Hey, wait!" Jay calls out again, taking a half step forward. Calum turns to her. "Can I give you something before you leave?”

Calum nods, not trusting his voice. What would she give him? She nods back to the front door, taking back that initial half-step. “It's inside. Give me like two minutes.”

She disappears inside and Calum stands, his phone still in his hands, staring at the spot she once stood. Just as quickly as she disappeared, Jay reappears. In hand is her portfolio. She flips through before stopping and slides the heavy-duty drawing paper out.

Calum stares down at the green and black drawing. It’s his face, for the most part, that stares back at him. It’s distorted by a crystal ball that glows green. Inside are some instruments and something else, but right now he can’t really put it all together. His eyes keep moving over the lightning bolt, the crystal ball, the uncanniness of his face on a piece of paper, his three-dimensional face somehow translated perfectly into a 2-D space.

“Holy shit, this is amazing,” he breathes. “Thank you,” he says looking back up to her.

She shrugs with a smile. “You’re welcome.”

“Seriously, this is so fucking awesome. I’m going to frame it,” he gushes. He’s too excited to be nervous, or be embarrassed. "What are the dimensions?"

“I'm just really glad you don’t find it too creepy. I was watching you a couple weeks ago when you stopped by. It just sort hit me, the image of the crystal ball and lightning bolt; I had to draw it,” Jay elaborates. "And it's 8.5 by 11--standard printer paper size."

Calum shakes his head, staring over the drawing again. It feels so delicate suddenly in his hands. It’s almost like Jay recognizes the change in his handling. She shuffles her load in her hands and pulls out an empty plastic over. “Here,” she laughs handing it over. “So it doesn’t smudge or anything if you're worried."

Calum slides it in. “Thank you. Again. Seriously.”

“You’re welcome, Calum. Good luck with your grocery store trip and dinner,” Jay nods and then heads back inside. Calum watches the way the denim stretches across her hips, the way her hair billows just a little in the breeze of her strut.

For a moment, Calum can't move. The weight of the paper in his hand is hardly ounces, but it holds him--traps him to the point of the sidewalk. Jay thought enough of him to draw him. What did it all mean? Should he have found the courage to ask her out? He could walk back inside. But what if she didn't like him like that? Would it be too weird?

Calum blinks up into the hardly settling sun and thinks to himself, the second he can come back here, it better be with a bit more courage and possibly a gift certificate. No one can be made about free food, right?

It’s months before Calum can visit the shop again. The tour is a whirlwind and he only gets a few days off between legs. Not long enough to get back home or feel like he had any energy to drive out to the shop. But now that he's settled back in at home, he knows exactly where he's going.

It’s not his typical practice to just walk in and ask for a tattoo. But given the ink already on him, worse things could happen. When he pulls open the door, he notices it's kind of slow. Jay greets him at the front desk. “Hey, stranger,” she grins.

“Hey, how are you?” he asks in return.

“Pretty good. How was it? The tour? See any cool places?”

He nods. “Yeah, got to explore a few cities.” He taps his fingers against the wooden desk. “Do you have an appointment anytime soon?”

Jay shakes her head. “My 2 o’clock had to reschedule. I’m here until 4 before I see anyone. Why? What's tickling your fancy?”

“I was wondering if you could do a tat for me? I know this is very last minute and if you need me to come in another day this week, I totally can.” His words run into each other; his palms start to sweat. He wipes them on his jeans.

Jay laughs, holding up a hand. “Whoa, pump the brakes. One, what are you looking for?”

“You know that drawing you did for me?” She nods. “I was kind of hoping you could create something with just the crystal ball and lightning bolt. I know the drawing itself is kind of big.”

A grin lifts her cheeks; Calum’s heart settles for a second. “I think I can do that. Where are you thinking to put it?”

“Inner bicep.” He watches her gaze land on his arm. The t-shirt is baggy, he at least thought about that with enough advance.

“Give me 30 minutes to come up with some sketches.” Jay pushes away from the front desk and heads to the back, but not for calling to the shop to watch the front desk.

Calum slides into the seat at the front, leg bouncing as he settles down. This isn’t even his first tattoo, but the nerves flood his body. His scalp tingles. The thirty minutes move by too fast, but also too slow simultaneously. The seconds feel like hours but move by milliseconds.

Eventually, Jay resurfaces, waving him over to her. He walks back and looks at the sketches she places out in front of him. There are two different ones. One’s a bit more minimalistic, which is her style, with the lightning bolt in the background and a simple crystal ball at the point. The other is a bit bolder, the ball has a slightly warped edge where it connects to the bolt. It looks like the bolt is melting the glass ball.

“I can whip up more if neither one of them are quite right. But I wasn’t sure if it wanted something a bit more crisp and sharp or not,” Jay explains.

Calum admits that most of his tattoos are more cleaned up and sharp. He likes the idea of playing with a new style. “I like the second one,” he says, tapping it.

“You sure?” He nods, he’s never been more sure of something in his life. “Which bicep? Let me line it up and make sure it’ll fit.”

Calum lifts his left arm up for her. Laying the stencil over his skin, Jay notes she has to make a couple small tweaks. But after that, she’ll be ready. They discuss full color, or just outline, or shading, price, and a few other details before Jay concludes with, “Hop in my seat. I’ll be there soon.”

Calum nods and walks over to her station. Her stuff is already laid out, probably for her canceled 2 o’clock. It’s about five more minutes before Jay returns with the final stencil. Calum rolls up the sleeve of his shirt before she places the stencil. Happy with the placement, he stretches out on the table.

Jay gets herself ready before she brings the needle over his skin. The first puncture always makes him jolt a little, the first jab of pain causes his heart to race. “Do you plan on relaxing now that you're back home?"

"Yeah, for a little bit. I might go see my family, but I know we'll be back in the studio soon. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"I mean exciting things happen every day at this place. But it's not like I could recall them all now."

Calum hums, acknowledging her statement, but not quite sure what to say next. Luckily, Jay's faster to fill in the silence. "You do realize you didn’t have to get a tattoo to have a real conversation with me?” Jay teases, pushing up her glasses.

Calum’s cheeks heat. “It’s not like that,” he chuckles.

“Well, that’s how it seems.”

“You were always busy when I stopped by. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Not always,” she laughs. “But it’s alright. You’re going to have plenty of time while I’m stabbing you to say all those things you didn’t.”

A chuckle escapes him; of course, Jay would have this sense of humor. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m paying so much for people just to stab me and act as a therapy. Maybe I am a masochist.”

“So are a lot of people. Sometimes you just take the emotional pain out in the physical realm.”

“I always imagined people that worked in a tattoo shop to be more heavily tatted,” Calum hums, taking in scattered ink across her arms and one pokes out from the V in her t-shirt.

“I focused it more on my back and legs and not so much my arms. I’m getting there. So, why this one today?”

Calum goes to shrug, but stops himself as he hears the gun nearing his skin again. “Not really sure. It looked cool. I guess it also serves to remind me that fate isn’t linear. There’s going to be twists and turns, maybe some trouble. And that’s okay. Don’t be afraid of the journey. Also, it's really fucking cool art.”

Jay hums her laugh, “Why thank you. Wise brain you got there. Besides, it seems like you also have people you keep close to you.” She eyes the initials and the name under the bird. “Whoever they are to you, I hope you all stay close.”

“Those are my parents' initials,” he explains. “And my sister’s name. They’ve been with me through it all--I love them dearly.”

“So sweet. I wish my parents and I were closer. I tattooed my brother’s jersey number on me. It was my first tattoo.”

“What did he play?”

“Soccer, or for your kind, football.”

“Hey now, it’s played with the feet, it makes much more sense.”

Jay laughs, wiping off excess ink. She cocks her head to the side a little, then goes back in for the black ink. “I’m only teasing. Us Americans are so dumb sometimes. Like why is our football not called something else? Literally, the only thing that happens with the feet is the running. We carry the fucking ball.”

“I’ve wondered that as well!” he laughs. "Does your brother still play?"

“Yeah, the whole knucklehead still plays for his college.”

“What position?”

Jay laughs. “I'll have you know my job as the older sister is to show up and cheer him on. Something defensive? I don’t remember off the top my head.”

“I’ll give you credit for that. I’m sure he appreciates it.”

“He does until he sees with me in face paint on and then he’s acting like he doesn’t know me. Oh, oh wait, I think remember what he does. It’s defensive,” she pauses, lips pursed together, “something fielder.”

“Defensive midfielder?” he asks.

“Yeah, that. But like I said, I show up when I can and scream. That’s it. When he’s old enough, I’ll buy him a beer after his games too.”

“How old is he?”

“Nineteen, we’re three years apart.”

“The only sibling you have?”

“Nah, got a baby sister too. She’s fifteen. If you’re impressed by my eyeshadow thank her. Because she’s the one that taught me how to do it.”

Calum finds himself staring at the red and gold coloring her eyelids. “It looks really nice,” he breathes.

“Why thank you.” She pauses to bats her eyelashes. “I even managed to get those godforsaken falsies on right too. They look good, but the raise hell.”

“I think you’re the first woman I’ve met in LA that’s not obsessed with makeup,” he notes.

“Oh, you were doing so well. There are a lot of people of who aren’t huge in the makeup scene.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he tries to backtrack. “I’m sorry. In my experience, it’s not like that. They’re hiding the fact they aren’t wearing makeup--embarrassed by it or something.”

Jay nods, pushing up her glasses yet again. “Yeah, it’s not easy. We’re told to be perfect, but in reality, we’re just like everyone. We’re human, imperfect and flaw-full and beautiful.”

“Not in spite of, but because of.”

“Exactly,” she chuckles. Silences settles in around them. Calum wonders why she said she was closer to her family, but the way she talks about her siblings doesn’t match. She’s cheering her brother on at his game; she’s sitting down to learn makeup with and from her sister.

“Can I ask a bit of a personal question?” he asks.

“What kind of personal? Do I get a lifeline?”

Cal exhales a laugh. “You can always say no.”

“Hit me with it.”

“Why say that you’re family isn’t close but you clearly take a lot of pride in your siblings?”

“An observant one on my table, I see. It’s my parents. They don’t like that I’m pansexual, say I’m going to hell. My siblings don’t fucking care. I’m still the crazy-ass sister that loves and supports them.”

With a hum of acknowledgment from Calum, it goes quiet again around them for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He knows it doesn’t really fix anything for her; it doesn’t take away the potential years of her suffering. It’s the only thing he can offer her though. It feels right to say.

“Oh, no need for you to be sorry. It’s not like you threw me out of the house.”

“Ouch. You’re making it though right?”

“Yeah, now that I work here, things are on the up and up.”

“That’s good; I’m glad.”

“Thanks.”

“Favorite tattoo you’ve done?” he asks, wanting to hear her voice again.

“This one,” she laughs. “Though I had someone ask for a pin-up witch, which was also pretty fucking cool to do.”

Calum remembers seeing that on her Instagram. “That one was amazing! Her lips looked so good; I know that’s a strange thing to admit.”

“Don’t worry. I am quite proud of that myself.”

“Do you have a favorite tattoo on you?”

“The blue jay on my shoulder. My parents would take me on walks when I was still an infant. According to the legend, while they were sitting on a park bench a blue jay landed on me. I didn’t cry; it didn’t hurt me. It just landed for a second and then flew off. They called me Blue Jay ever since. I just shortened the nickname as I got older.” She gives one more wipe. “Finished. Check it out.”

Calum sits up, walking over to the mirror. He grins seeing the melting ball sitting against his skin. He grins over to Jay. “It looks amazing. Thank you.”

“No problem.” They head back over to her station. Jay cleans it and wraps the fresh ink. Calum carefully gets his sleeve back down with a little help from Jay. He pays their agreed price with his card, but slides two fifties over to her. “You do know that’s more than double a twenty percent tip right?”

Calum shrugs. “Is it? I’m bad at math,” he grins. “Treat your sister to a new palette or something. Treat yourself to something.”

“Thank you. Now next time, you come by, I hope we don’t talk while I’m stabbing you repeatedly.”

Calum shakes his head, a grin still on his face. Of course. He had forgotten to get the gift certificate. But possibly asking Jay to dinner wouldn't be such a bad idea. “Give me your number and I can promise the next time we talk, it won’t in your chair.”

She holds out her hand, waiting. He hands her his phone, after unlocking it. She puts her number in. She goes to hand the phone back but just before his fingers touch it, she draws it back. "I mean it--actually text me. I adore memes, dogs, TikToks, your favorite songs."

"I'll actually talk to you. I promise."

Jay hands over his phone with a smile. Calum steps outside the glass doors. Why should he wait? He could do it now. For fuck sake, the last hour had been the groundwork for a clear sign a date was absolutely an option. His fingers hovering over her name. He taps it, and then presses for a call. Holding the phone to his ear, he listens to it ring for a second.

“I can still see you, you know?” Jay laughs.

Calum turns around, catching her leaning against the front desk. “I told you the next time we talked you wouldn’t be inking me.”

“What can I help you with, Calum?”

“Dinner, tonight-- I may have ordered too many appetizers for just little old me."

Her laugh trickles in over the speaker. She drops her head, giving it a shake before looking back up to him in the afternoon sun. “I think I can help you with that. Give me the time and place."

Calum rattles off the name of a restaurant that he had been wanting to try. Nothing too upscale, but not something that would be too casual. "How does 8 sound?"

"I love it there. I'll see you at 8."

“Bye, Jay.”

“Bye, Calum.” As he walks to his car, his phone buzzes yet again. This time a text from his artist, I’m being fucking replaced, I see. I can’t be too mad since it’s Jay. Calum laughs as he slides into his car. Maybe he is getting replaced; maybe he’s not. Calum’s not sure. He is sure that he needs to figure out if he can make reservations and what to wear for tonight.

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.

[supernovanim]

Neighbours Part 2

Absolutely no one read part 1, but I wanted to write part 2 so I did. One day someone may stumble across them and like them, but I enjoyed writing this for myself regardless. Also I’m now unemployed (this is unrelated to fanfic writing).

Summary: After you left your gorgeous neighbour alone while you went on a zoom date, he seems a little annoyed. And things escalate.

Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Warnings: Smut. Voyeurism (again), male and female masturbation.

Word count: 1,205

The next morning you wandered into the kitchen in search of food, wearing an old Ramones t-shirt and sleep shorts.

The date hadn’t gone well. Not only was he pretty boring, but your mind kept wandering to your gorgeous neighbour. It was very distracting trying to have a conversation when all you could think about was Dylan’s bare chest and scruffy hair. But when you’d finished the call and gone back to your kitchen, his window was dark. You’d probably messed that up, leaving him so suddenly.

As you opened your fridge you heard a tapping sound outside. Looking up you saw Dylan at his window, this time wearing pyjama pants and a tight grey t-shirt that showed off his arms. His hair was sticking up randomly, clearly, he’d just got up too. And he looked pissed. Uh oh.

He held up his hand in a clear ‘stay’ gesture, and walked out of view, looking around. In a few seconds he returned, with what looked like a Sharpie and some printer paper. Placing it on the counter, he scribbled something and held it up to the window.

You left me hanging. Not fair 🙁

You shrugged in what you hoped was an apologetic way. Shit, you didn’t expect him to be this upset – surely he could have anyone he wanted? He must have hundreds of girls on speed dial.

He was writing something else

Make it up to me?

He smirked. Ah – not that upset then. You caught the glint in his amber eyes as he looked at you. You felt a tingle between your legs, and you rubbed your thighs together unconsciously. Damn, he was turning you on already.

You looked up at him through the window and tilted your head to one side, giving him a questioning look. He gestured to your shirt, not needing words to get his meaning across. Take. It. Off.

Smiling, you caught the hem of the fabric between your fingers. Very slowly you lifted it off over your head and dropped it on the kitchen floor. You weren’t wearing a bra this time, and you looked down at your smooth breasts, rubbing your fingers lightly over the hardening nipples before looking back up.

Dylan gulped, transfixed by the sight in front of him. He clearly hadn’t thought this entirely through, half expecting you to refuse him. His eyes darkened and he ran one hand through his hair roughly as he licked his lips slowly.

You looked around the kitchen, eyes alighting on a small chalkboard you used for shopping lists. Perfect. Wiping it clean you scribbled a message and held it up.

Your turn 🙂

He nodded slowly and pulled his t-shirt off over his head, so his chest was exposed. Now you could see the smattering of moles across his chest, and the happy trail of hair leading down. You felt yourself get more wet, a tingling sensation running from your breasts to your core as you continued gently rubbing them. Making a quick decision, you kicked off your shorts, leaving you in just panties. Still facing him you hopped up onto the kitchen counter and lent back, making your breasts rise up. You thought you saw Dylan breathe in sharply as a bulge started to appear in his pants.

Slowly you grazed one hand down your body and under the waistband of your panties, running a figure down your folds and moaning to yourself. Fuck, you were so wet already. You started to brush your fingers over your clit, speeding up when you noticed Dylan reach into his pants and grab his cock, his eyes darkening. Your breathing came faster as you felt a warmth start to pool in your belly.

Suddenly he stopped and grabbed the paper. Writing fast he held it up to the window with one hand, the other continuing to touch himself.

Want to hear you.

It was followed by his phone number.

You looked around for your cell phone, finding it lying on the counter behind you. Still with one hand touching yourself you used the other hand to dial, hitting speaker and putting it back on the counter while you continued to pleasure yourself.

In the window you saw him answer after a couple of rings.

“H-Hi. I’m Dylan”

“Y/N” you gasped, followed by a moan as your fingers hit a good rhythm.

“You have no idea how hot you look, Y/N. But I need to see all of you” He rasped; his voice low and predatory.

Stopping your hand temporarily, you slid your panties down off your legs.

“You need to return the favour though, Dylan. Fair’s fair” You looked meaningfully at his half naked body. He grinned, and slowly removed his pants, kicking them to one side. You watch his cock spring free, standing fully hard as he pumped it slowly with his hand. You let out another low moan and returned your fingers to your clit.

“Impressive” you managed between sighs, imagining it filling you.

“It would be even more impressive if I came over there and you could see it up close”

You gasped again as your other hand brushed against your breasts.

“Well…tempting as that is, have you ever heard of anticipation? Firstly, we’re in the middle of a shelter in place order, and I don’t think you coming over and fucking me is allowed. But way more importantly, it will be so much better if we don’t rush this, don’t you think?’

You heard him groan.

“Tell me what you want to do to me Dylan”

You saw his hand speed up its pumping, moving firmly up and down his length and over the tip. Your fingers picked up the pace as you felt your arousal coil up inside you.

“I…I want to fuck you so hard. I want to put my cock into your soaking wet pussy and feel you come around me”

“Mmm, I’d like that” you breathed “You putting your big hard dick inside me and fucking me into oblivion”

You heard him groan, and you let out a loud moan that echoed around the kitchen.

“N-Not sure I can make it round to yours now anyway” he gasped “so c-close, going to cum”

You felt your toes curl and the coil in your belly tighten

“Me too. I’m, I’m… going to...” And then you couldn’t speak as your head tipped back and your climax washed over you and your cries filled the room. Across from you Dylan’s movements become sloppy and you heard him call out as he came, white cum shooting from the end of his cock and over his hand.

He lent his forehead against the glass of the window. “Wow” he gasped “never done that before”

“Actually I do this with all my neighbours” you jested “it breaks the ice”

He chuckled, and reached across the counter for a cloth to clean himself up.

You stood up slightly unsteadily and retrieved your underwear and clothes, redressing yourself.

“So this was good and all” you sighed “but I’d better go shower, I’ve got some work to do today. It was nice…um…meeting you Dylan”

“The pleasure was all mine darling” he said softly, as you hung up the phone and left the kitchen.

Continued in Part 3!

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Don’t Breathe | 5.0

»Genre: hitman!au || stalker!au ||

»Warnings: kidnapping, stalking, obsession, themes of borderline Stockholm syndrome and Lima syndrome, brief mono-phobia, mature elements, manhandling, breakdowns, guns, yandere (? i think ), he thinks it’s cute when she cries, eventually they fall in love, Disclaimer: I do not condone nor suggest stalking/kidnapping or anything of that nature, this is pure fiction ok, kidnappers and stalkers DO NOT love you.

»Summary: He doesn’t get shaky hands, he never forgets his gloves and he never leaves a trail. He was paid to get rid of everyone who witnessed the exchange between a gang lord and a politician, they were picked off, one by one. He found out a month later, he missed one. A young writer who attended the event where the exchange took place. He has to kill her. Can he do it?

✤ pt.1 - pt.2 - pt.2.5 - pt.3 - pt. 3.5 - pt. 4.0 - pt. 4.5 - pt. 5.0 - pt.5.5 - pt.6.0

a/n: this is a heavy and wordy chapter so bare with me, we’re almost at the finale!  thank you for reading and i hope u enjoy!💖

taglist: @tangledsparkles @just-another-fangurl21 @impartoftoomanyfandoms​ @komorebi-unnie​ @tangledsparkles​ @yes-sol-not-soul (sorry :( tumblr won’t let me tag you) @sarzkh31​

When you woke up this morning, you felt nauseous, sick to your stomach. Last night, while you were sleeping, he packed up some basic necessities and put them in his car. He said Yeosang would be by soon to officialese everything and that you could relax until then. But you can’t, you’re head hurts so bad, you want to throw up. 

 “I was in the other room but I didn’t hear you get up, I would’ve made you breakfast,” Taehyung leans against the bathroom door frame and watches you, you’re dressed and he’s wondering how he missed you waking up and showering. You’re busy brushing your teeth, still wanting to pass out from how bad your headache is, but you decide against it. 

“Did you sleep well?” You nod, spitting in the sink with the running water. He tilts his head, already picking up on your change in demeanor. Taking a step towards you, he lifts your chin to get you to look him in the eye, “Hey, I know that face, look at me,” Concern coats his expression and you will yourself to finally look at him, “what’s wrong?” 

“I’m just- I don’t know, I’m nervous about all of this,” You walk past him into the bedroom, the beautiful bedroom you’ll probably never get to share with him again, “what if things don’t work out? What if your friend can’t help us, then what?” You sit on the edge of the bed, hugging yourself at the thought, the terror you would endure if this all went south. “I’m scared, I have this bad feeling, it’s making me really uneasy...” 

“I know,” Taehyung can’t say he’s never had those thoughts, it plagues his mind too. The thought of no longer having the comfort of each other, the joy in your smiles and laughter being taken, it’s scary. Kneeling in front of you, he takes your hands into his with a light squeeze.

“I know it’s scary, and we’re taking a huge risk,” He tilts his head, puppy-dog eyes peering into your weary ones, “but I promise, I’m doing what’s best to keep us safe and together, alright baby?” He caresses the side of your face with the back of his hand, but the affection makes you pout rather than feel better. 

“Hey, and guess what? Once this is all over, we’ll be shopping at local markets to buy fresh produce for us to cook with,” He smiles, trying to lighten up your mood with the dreamy idea, “we can paint whatever we can get our hands on, with whatever paint you want, you can write stories and poems during picnics, we could do whatever your heart desires, we’ll have a new life together,” He thumbs at the backs of your hands, tugging at your heartstrings to get you to smile. “I’ll even get you a puppy if you want one, doesn’t that sound perfect?” 

You can’t help but form a little grin at the thought. “It does...” 

“That’s what’s waiting for us bunny, we just have to wait for a little while,” He sits up to cup the back of your neck and places a firm kiss on your lips, so soft and warm but short-lived when he pulls away, “so give me a little smile, please?” You oblige, smiling down at him and he pinches your chin with a giggle.

"There you go, that’s my sweet girl,” He stands up and takes you with him, arms wrapped just at your thighs to keep you above ground, “why don’t you go get a few paintings to take with you, while I pack up a few things, and you can wear my favorite bracelet for good luck,” 

”Pack?” You sigh, feet hitting the ground when he let’s you go. He slips off the black threaded bracelet and tightens it around your wrist with a smile. “Do you want me to help-” 

“You go, I got it,” He holds your head in his hands and kisses between your brows with an audible smooch which made you laugh, “go on.”

With a pat on your butt, you’re making your way out of the bedroom and down to the basement. When you get down there, you realize the number of paintings you have. There are about ten to fifteen finished paintings and the others are unfinished. The little story that’s being written is illustrated in this painting, wonder and lover is illustrated in these paintings. In your attempt to pick a few, you notice the little cushion he got for you months ago. Sometimes, it doesn’t even register to you that once you were stuck down here, fighting and dying to leave this place. Now you’re almost in tears at the thought of having to leave. 

But you’re new life is ahead of you, you should be happy.

Leu is facing a political nightmare, there’s a chance he won’t recover from this. Scandals happen all the time, affairs, bribery, on rare occasions, perjury. But seldom is a man of his prowess busted for abetting in multiple murders. There’s no coming back from this. He’s been tracking the phone for a few weeks, and only recently did he realize it was active recently. He completely missed it. When he arrived at the police station, he gave one of the detectives the phone number to hopefully track. He’s been waiting in a room filled with computers and busy interns, just waiting for results. When he considers leaving the room for another bland coffee, he gets a phone call. Looking down at the screen, he sees who it is and decides to answer it.

Yoongi dismisses himself and steps into the hall, “Hello?”

“Jin told me you all found the person who hired the group that killed all those people and took Y/n, is that true?” She sounds hopeful.

“We found him. I can’t reveal too much but we’re hammering down on the search, trying to track the location of the cellphone.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Her voice falters a bit, “there are some sick people out there, I just pray she’s not with one of them.”

He has to cut the call short when one of the tech people waves aggressively to get his attention.

“We just got a location,” The woman beckons him back into the room, “it’s about an hour and a half away from here, in what looks like one of the upper-class neighborhoods on the east-side.”

Yoongi walks over to the computer, eyes skimming over the estimated location of the cellphone. “The phone was traced to that location?”

He’s surprised that your phone would be in such a nice area, but then again he knows what the Hwan Group has been rumored to do. They’ve sold they’re victims to high-paying old men and women who’re looking to fulfill their sick desires in innocent people. It’s repulsive. He can’t help the churn he feels in his stomach when the thought of a person being used like that crosses his mind. In his career in the FBI and even as a PI now, he’s seen some shit. And no matter how many times he’s walked in on dead bodies, shackled victims, bloodied crime scenes, seeing people mistreated makes him sick. But what keeps him doing this is the chance, the small but promising chance that the victim might be alive.

“How long was it on?”

“Not sure, but it was turned on about 2 hours ago and then shut off, must’ve died,” She types a string of letters and another tab pops up, “this is the address.” Promptly, the printer in the corner of the room spits out the paper with the address and she rolls her chair over to it.

“If she’s anywhere, here is your best bet.”

*

*

The room is filled with men in black gear, heavy leather boots, and guns on their hips. When Minho gives the word, they all pile into the van and Minho gets in the backseat of his car—he tells the driver to wait before pulling out. 

“Shit,” He lets out a deep sigh, dress-shirt feeling too tight on his neck. “he brought this on his self, he brought this on his damn self and he didn’t give me any other choice, right?”

Jimin sits beside him, nodding his head in agreement. “Absolutely, he can’t blame you for this, he knows the price of the job,” 

“Doesn’t make it any easier, out of everyone, he was the last person I thought would pull something like this, I still don’t fully believe it-”

“Well,” Jimin interjects, making a thoughtful expression, “maybe he did kill the target and he’s just being hush-hush about it, the girl could’ve put up a fight or- I don’t know, anything could have happened.”

“Maybe,” He takes out his phone, pressing a contact, “but I’m going to give him one more chance,” Waiting for a few seconds, deep down inside he hopes Taehyung will answer. Sadly, the call goes to voicemail and he sets the phone down and sighs, there’s nothing else he can do.

“He didn’t answer, he’s buying time,” Jimin confirms the inevitable, “he knows what he’s doing, it’s best we confront him now.”

Minho pats the back of the driver's chair. “Go ahead.”

He was plundering through the drawers when he found your cellphone stacked on a small pile of books. Assuming he’d be able to wipe it, he tucked is into the little bag along with a few of the books he knew you liked to read. Packing up this stuff reminds him of the night he took you from your house, the night that changed his life. It had been after so much time watching you, learning our lifestyle. He knows now that if he had a chance to learn all of that about you in a different circumstance, like as friend that would slowly morph into something more, he’d take that chance.

The buzzing of his phone pulls him from his thoughts, thinking it was Minho again, he was about to ignore it, but he peeks at the screen to see that it’s Yeosang. Quickly, he answers the call and presses the phone to his ear. 

“Hey, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Good news, the condo is in your name and ready to go. The bad news is, the flights have been delayed due to bad weather, it’s about a 2-hour delay, could be more.”

“Shit, that would happen,” Taehyung presses his temples, “how close are you?’

“About 45 minutes? Something like that. Do you want me to get her to the airport and you drive separately or do you want me to-”

“If you pick her up that’ll be fine but I was hoping for both of us to get out of here sooner than that,” He zips up the backpack and leaves the room with the flick of the light, “Minho tried to call me and I didn’t answer, he knows something,”

“I want to help you guys,” Yeosang stresses, “maybe you could drive all the way and take a flight from a city further down.”

“That might work if I leave right now,” Taehyung mentally flips through his options and the possibilities are starting to grow slimmer in his mind, “you know what, listen out for me, I need to get her ready. I’ll call you back when we’re in route.” 

Taking the little bag with him, he goes downstairs and searches for his computer, but he realizes it’s packed away. He was going to see if there were any loose strings that he might now have noticed. 

That’s when he hears a heavy knock on the door. He stands frozen, waiting for a second knock. There is a second knock and a booming voice from the other side.

“Kim! I know you’re in there.”

it’s too late, he’s here. Without a second to lose, he runs down to the basement where you’re peacefully admiring your first painting. 

All of a sudden, he hugs you and the painting falls from your grasp, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, he’s here,” He goes to turn off the light and you pick up the painting down to put it back, barely registering what he’s saying, “you need to hide while I buy us some time.”

“Wha- What? No, I want to stay with you,” Your hands are shaking and you feel like you’re getting that sick feeling again—this can’t be happening. “Tae, don’t leave me, what if something happens to you?-”

“Shh, it’ll be okay, I need you to hide under here,” He guides you over to the tiny space under the staircase, gesturing for you to kneel down. You do as he says and he kneels in front of you, every fiber in his body telling him to stay by your side, but he knows he can’t. He holds you in a warm embrace as if it was the last time, he always does it like it’s the last time. “It’s okay, just stay here.”

With that, you’re left in the pitch-black basement, curled up under the stairs, and wishing this was all just a bad dream. But the sound of the front door opening gives you the confirmation that this is your worst nightmare coming to life.

He opened the door a few minutes ago, Minho and Jimin had pushed past him to get inside, about ten suited-up guys follow and the door slammed on there way in. With little struggle, they had Taehyung sit on the couch while Minho paced in front of him as his team tears the place apart.

“I didn’t want to do this to you.” That’s the first thing Minho says.

“I can see that,” Tae responds plainly.

“You brought this upon yourself you know,” Minho stands in front of him, hands in his pockets with a cold glare on his face, “whatever the hell you were trying to do, it’s over now.”

Taehyung stays quiet, pissing Minho off even more.

“Do you know what you’ve done to this organization? We’re on the radar because you took that woman. Now the cops are involved, they’re onto us and they won’t stop until they find her. Why choose to go rogue now? Your contract ends in a year and you decide to spend it ruining your reputation? Out of everyone in the company, you were the last person I thought I’d have to worry about, you were my absolute best, and now that’s all gone to hell,” He bites his bottom-lip, getting impatient with Taehyung’s unchanging demeanor, “do you even care?”

He just stares at him blankly.

“Nothing upstairs,” About three guys come from downstairs.

“Downstairs is clear,” The others emerge from the other parts of the house, also empty-handed, "no signs of a body or that anyone else was living here sir-”

“Check again!” Minho snaps, kicking the coffee table across the room with a loud curse, “Look outside, tear the damn place apart if you have to, she has to be somewhere.”

He goes on and on, going red in the face he’s so livid, Taehyung was his favorite. The fussing becomes a bit repetitive to Jimin, so he decides to go off and do his own search, that’s when Tae gets truly nervous for the first time, Jimin has a knack for finding the unsuspecting.

*

Footsteps can be heard throughout the entire house. You only flinch when you hear a loud thump, like a table being thrown or broken against the wall. You brace yourself, placing your hands on your ears until the footsteps cease. You breathe in and out shallowly, trying to listen for Taehyung. You haven’t heard him once, not one sound.

Your heart drops when you hear the high pitched squeak of the basement door opening. Light slips into the darkroom. Heavy footsteps on the stair-well reverberate against your ears.

He’s a painter? He would be, wouldn’t he? A man mumbles to himself. Peeking from behind the wooden beam that’s shielding you, you see a man with shiny black hair looking at your paintings. You close your eyes and cover your mouth, tears pricking at your eyes from the sheer suspense of it all. Your body is shaking, sweating and the need to gasp for more air becomes critical to your sanity. But you hold it in, you block out the rapid heartbeat pounding against your rib-cage.

“Where are you...” He speaks clearer now as if he knows you’re here as if he knows you’re trying to block him out. Eyes squeezed shut, your curl in on yourself, trying so hard not to make a sound. His footsteps become louder, his shadow appears on the wall opposite of you like a lurking monster, seeking to cause you nothing but terror. In contrast, he hums a little song softly.

If you close your eyes, he’ll go away, just close your eyes and he’ll go away. 

“There you are,” You look straight at him and your fight or flight kicks in. You try to make a run for it but he easily grabs you, “hey! Stop- Stop fighting, I’m not gonna hurt you! Calm down-”

You scream but he clamps a hand over your mouth. Squirming violently, you try to bite his hand but he removes it before you can. He fights to drag you upstairs as you cry out for help. “Let go of me!”

When Taehyung hears your cries, all that goes through his mind is that he has to be with you. He darts past Minho to get to you but one of the guys tackle him to the ground. He calls out to you anyway, “I’m here! Y/n, it’s okay,”

Minho’s thrown off by what he thinks is a loving tone, “Keep him down.” He orders the men as he waits for the squealing female to be brought to him.

“Here she is, found her hiding under the staircase,” Jimin emerges with a smile and a red scratch on his brow courtesy of you, “she is very much alive.” He drops you on the ground in front of Minho. On your hands and knees and you look up with weary eyes.

“Oh Taehyung, you’ve been hiding her this entire time, you lied to me,” He kneels in front of your trembling form, head tilted and a hand reaching out to cup your jaw, “she is a pretty little thing, I get it. But if you wanted to keep her, why didn't you just say so? That could have been arranged,” You jerk away, “I just never thought you were the type to want toys like this.”

“That’s not what this is, she’s not a sexual object,” The men pull Tae to his feet and he finally sees you, on the ground, paralyzed with uncertainty, “I’ve been protecting her from you.”

“When have you ever protected a target from me? You take the job, I never force you to take a fucking job, Kim. This is your fault because you missed her and then had to go back to the job, then you watched her for too long and got attached, the very thing I warned you about that when you first joined.” 

You look back at Taehyung, searching for some type of comfort in his eyes, but you’re stalled by the painful sting in your scalp, “Ow!-”

“This woman?” He fists your hair, pulling you to your feet. You grasp his wrist to try to loosen his grip but it only tightens, sending a burn down your back tears to your eyes. It’s deliberate torture for Taehyung to watch because he can’t do anything about it.

“This fucking woman should have been dead, and since you fucked everything up, I have to take care of her myself. But I don’t get it, you���ve killed dozens before, she shouldn’t have been a problem, but you got obsessed and she just had to be yours, didn’t she? That’s pathetic.” He shakes his head, disappointed.

“Do you not remember? You signed the contract for 7 years, you don’t get to experience real love in this job, and you know that better than anyone. How could anyone love you after what you’ve done? You’ve told me that countless times, what’s with the sudden change in heart?”

Taehyung looks away for the first time, it’s all true, when Tae signed the contract, he was sure he’d never have to worry about being attached to anyone. He didn’t love anyone, and no one loved him or ever could, so the job was perfect. No worried messages from a mother, disappointing looks from a father— if he has no one, there’s no one to disappoint, no one to secretly hate him. He ruled out the possibility that someone would ever want to love him, truly love him. Then came you and he loved, he was loved.

“She doesn’t deserve to this, she doesn’t deserve to die. She didn’t do anything wrong,” Taehyung looks into in your eyes, trying to communicate to you, trying to think of a way to get out of here, “I swear, if you touch her-”

“Don’t give me that shit, you’ve killed all kinds of people, good, bad and in between, what makes her any different?-”

His sentence is cut short when Taehyung suddenly jerks against the men holding him and he gets free. He gets a hold of the gun and points it at Minho. Your hair is released but the man now holds you with an arm anchored around your neck.

“Let her go,” Taehyung takes short strides towards you two as the barrel of the gun stays square to Minho’s forehead, “you know I’m a straight shot, I could kill you right now,” He cocks the gun, the action making you shutter, “get your hands off of her.”

“You won’t do it,” Minho is already holding it to your head, arm secured around your neck. “if you kill me, you kill her, that’s not what you want,” He shoves the barrel against your scalp and you bite your lip hard to stop from sobbing. “I will kill her if I have to, then this will all be over. But if you put that gun down, and do exactly what I say, she stays alive, I promise.”

“Tae- Taehyung,” You manage to choke out, clawing at Minho’s arms frantically, “please-” He tightens his grip on your poor neck and that’s when Taehyung raises his hands in surrender and he’s immediately brought to his knees.

“Alright! Just stop, stop! She can’t fucking breathe! Please,” As soon as they take the gun, Minho throws you on the hard floor and you gasp for air, coughing violently as you brace on your hands and knees, “do what you want with me, just don’t hurt her.”

“Huh,” He groans, clicking his teeth in contemplation, “since you are my favorite and you’ll probably never see her again, why don’t you give her some love before you go? I’ll give you that at least.”

Taehyung down looks at you then at Minho. “What?” 

“I’m giving you a chance to say goodbye,” Minho nudges you with his hand, making you flinch, “hurry up before I change my mind.”

The men are still holding him, his arms behind his back. He bites back tears as you sit frozen, mirroring his pained expression. “Y/n, it’s okay,” He calls for you, pulling against the retrains, “come here, baby,” You begin to crawl over to him, but you’re still hesitant to get near the people holding him, “let go! What the fuck do think I’m gonna do?!-”

“Let’m go, he won’t do anything stupid.”

Once he’s freed, he cocoons you in his arms, his body is warm and his energy is calm as he cradles you close. Minho stops to observe a version of Taehyung he has never witnessed before. He’s on his knees, holding you to his chest as you cling to him. Your knuckles must be white from how hard you’re gripping his shirt. Your eyes are squeezed shut, you’re shaking, petrified with the thought of never feeling this again. You can’t live like that, you could die without this. “T-Tae, don’t let them t- take me, don’t let them take me-...” You hiccup through your sobs, holding on to the little bit of affection that might be the last.

“Shh, I’ll fix this,” He whispers just low enough for you to hear, “I promise...”

You feel his hand go to your hair and he pulls your head back to bring your lips to his—you can’t live without this. He parts his lips, kissing you as if you two were the only ones in the room, as if you’re in bed, heart-to-heart, feeling loved. Shamelessly, you push against him for more and you can taste your tears, are those your tears and his tears?

“My God,” Minho tucks the gun back in its holster with a scoff, “from the looks of it, you’d think he actually loves her.” Minho makes a thoughtful expression, smirking down at Tae who’s resting his head on your shoulder as you hold him tight. He signals at Jimin who’s watching the scene with interest, “Okay, that’s enough.”

The embrace is broken when you’re ripped away and Taehyung is tackled to the ground with loud cursing. You let out heartwrenching sobs, eyes glazing over with sheer horror, “No! Please! I’ll do anything, I won’t say anything about this I swear! Just don’t do this, please!”

Minho dismisses you entirely, more interested in Tae’s reaction. “That’s all it takes?” Minho walks over to him, laughing when Jimin and another guy struggling to hold him back, “Years of training and killing, and it only takes her to break you?”

“Go to hell.”

Minho shakes his head with a sigh, pitying him. “Put her in the car.”

Yoongi is in the car with two other officers ready to give the signal any time now. He knows something is going on but whatever happens, he’s determined to get you home safe. When he looks into the house from the car he sees a shadow pass the front window.

He holds the button on the com. “We’re moving in now.”

*

It was a blur when it all happened. You were crying and being dragged away from when the door burst open. Officers stormed the house. Guns go off and your ears ring painfully. They rush in and so many people are everywhere—your oasis, your little paradise is being made a battleground. You cry when the man holding you bumped into a vase and drops you near it. He flees out the back door, but you’re frozen, everything is in disarray but the one person you do see is Taehyung who’s being handcuffed along with so many others. He mouths something but you can’t make it out. He shakes his head, you don’t know what he’s saying, what is he trying to say? 

“I’ve got her, she’s here!” A man is yelling to the others, you didn’t register he was kneeling beside you. 

“Y/n, we’re here to help you, you’re safe now,” He moves to block your view from what’s happening behind him. You don’t verbally respond, but your eyes are teary, breathing rapid, lips trembling.

“She’s hurt! I’m taking her out.” 

You’re having derealization episode, or a panic attack, or both. You might be looking at him, but you’re acting like you don’t know where you are, you’re not even aware of the wound on your leg.

Who is this man?”

“Who are you?...” You speak for the first time, and you pear at him with wavering eye-contact, his eyes look kind.

“Yoongi. I’m going to pick you up, is that okay?” You nod after he wraps your leg tightly with his jacket, he lifts you into his arms and carries out of the house.

You can’t see Taehyung, you don’t know where they took him. Yoongi notices how you twist in his arms to look behind him, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone or something, he doesn’t know. All you see are a bunch of officers and Minho’s people being cuffed and shuffled into squad cars.

You’re taken past all of the squad cars and put you in the back seat of a black SUV and Yoongi disappears. A woman kneels down to tend to your leg, when did your leg start bleeding? You frown down at her when she cuts you pant-leg, tossing the denim to the ground, she notices instantly.

“My name is Chloe, sweetheart. I’m a paramedic, I just need to stop the bleeding until you can get stitches,” Her lips are moving, you know they are but you have no idea what she’s saying.

She mumbles to the man beside her, an EMT, give her the shock blanket. With a small nod, the man scurries off and returns with a silver tarp-like material and wraps it around you with gentle hands.

That man called Yoongi comes back and he’s talking on the phone with someone, he pushes back his middle-parted black hair and gets in the passenger's seat. Chloe finishes wrapping your leg and gently puts your legs in the vehicle, hooks you in your seat-belt, and promptly closing the door to seal you inside. This is too much, this wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen. You start heaving, hand on your chest and body rocking back and forth to soothe yourself. They think they’re saving you, they’re not saving you.

They’re tearing everything apart.

“Wait one second,” Yoongi moves the phone from his ear and looks back at you, the color has left your face completely. Your hands are shaking and it feels like there’s a heater right in front of your face. 

Yoongi reaches his hand back to get you to calm down but you don’t even look at him, your stomach aches all too much for you to acknowledge him. “Y/n, breathe, okay? You have to take deep breaths and calm down, you’re safe-”

You kick the door open and you’re expelling any food you had left in your stomach on the curb.

He sighs, quickly unbuckling his seat-belt to, “I’ll call you back,” 

“We brought her to the infirmary,” Yoongi paces outside of the room, “looks like the place was being ransacked when we got here, we don’t know who the culprit is but the most important thing is that she’s safe now. When the doctor thinks she can undergo questioning, I’ll head over.”

“Good. The other officers arrived not too long ago, a majority of them won’t talk but they’ll stay in holding until you get back,” Eunwoo pauses, “how’s she doing? Is she all there, are there any signs of abuse?”

Yoongi sighs, taking a seat on the bench. “Don’t know yet, she hasn’t talked much. I don’t know if we should do the questioning today but I’ll talk to her after the doctor talks to me,”

“Alright, let me know when you’re headed over.”

It smells so sterile, you want to throw up again but you settle for staring at the nurse who just finished bandaging the stitches. When she leaves, another woman comes in.

“Y/n, how are you feeling?” She adjusts her glasses, getting a little closer when you don’t respond. “Everything is happening so fast, yeah? I can’t say I know what you’ve been through, but I know you're probably overwhelmed.”

You nod. 

“I won’t bombard you with a bunch of questions, I’m just here to make sure you’re physically okay. Your vitals are good but is there anything going on with your body that you might be concerned about?”

You shake your head no, not maintaining eye-contact by any means—she notes that.

“Okay, do you mind if I check to make sure everything's okay? I’ll need your consent to do a full-body exam and I’ll have a chaperone with me, but if you’re not comfortable with that, I 100% understand.” Again, you nod with a small yes when she asks for verbal confirmation. She puts on some gloves before instructing you to sit on the edge of the bed and she goes to get a young woman in sky-blue scrubs.

He’s been waiting for about an hour and he stands to his feet when the woman comes out of the room with a clipboard. 

“How is she?”

She holds the clipboard to her chest with a sigh. “We finished the physical exam, and there are no signs of sexual abuse or physical abuse, she’s quite healthy considering. As far as her mental health goes, it’s hard to tell right now. She’s obviously really overwhelmed by everything, this is probably going to be a trauma that she lives with for a while, she’ll need a psychiatric evaluation. I know you’re apart of the investigation but if you want to question her, talk to her to see how she feels about it first.” She walks off to the nurse's station but turns to say one more thing. 

“You know, I heard about her in the newspaper, her news publisher has a whole story on her. Thank God she’s alive, not all stories end so fortunately.”

Yoongi walks past her and into the room quietly, you look up at him and then down at your hands.

“Do you feel a little better?” He walks to your bedside, eyes drifting down to your bandaged leg. 

“H-...How did you find me?...” 

“We’ve been looking for you nonstop. Today we were finally able to track your cellphone, we only hoped you’d be at that location. It’s been 8 months since the day you were reported missing, and for 8 months I’ve made finding you my main priority.”

You furrow your brows, looking at him as if he were speaking a foreign language. “It’s been 8 months?...”

“I know a lot is going on but we need some answers from you. I understand if you’re feeling up to it, but would you be able to come with me and answer some questions for us at the police station? If you don’t feel up to it then-”

“I’ll do it..” You answer too quickly. 

Just like that, you’re at the police station sitting across from Yoongi and the officer over the investigation, officer Cha Eunwoo. They gave you a glass of water and you’ve chugged it down. You’re so jittery, your mind is everywhere.

“Y/n, do you know why you were kidnapped?” Eunwoo comes back with another cup of water and you watch him sit back down.

“I was told it was because of a politician who had it arranged that I be killed...

Yoongi writes something down and you swallow, wondering what he’s writing down.

“The house you were rescued from, is that where you’ve been living?”

“Yes...But-” You bite your lip, tears welling up in your eyes, “...I’m not hurt, the person I was with kept me safe, the man I was with, he's not the bad guy...”

The two of them look at each other puzzled, then at you. They question whether they heard that correctly. 

“Who? Y/n,” Yoongi begins softly, “are you saying you were being protected?” You nod, pout ever so present on your lips. “Who was protecting you?”

You bite your lip, stopping yourself from saying his name, you shouldn’t say his name. They don’t know who he is yet, and maybe there’s a chance he’ll get out of this. As your mind reels, the two of them watch you, teary eyes laser-focused on the black bracelet on your wrist.

“Can you tell me who was with you in that house?” Yoongi asks again but you won’t look at him now. “Was it multiple people, or just that one person?”

You press your lips, nodding subtly. “It was multiple people?” You shake your head. “So it was just him,” He glances up from his notepad and you don’t indicate an answer, so he takes that as a yes, “did you ever leave the house?”

Eunwoo stands to his feet, stirring curiosity from you and Yoongi. “Min, can we have a word in private?” 

Albeit confused, Yoongi nods, following the officer out into the other side of the two-way mirror where the other officers are.

“The hell? She was just giving us some good information.”

“Let me take this over, we have about a dozen people and we need to identify and interrogate all of them. But right now, we need the man who did this to her, that’s all.”

“She might not respond well to that, she’s obviously troubled, the pressure isn’t going to help.” Yoongi glances at you from the corner of his eye. “I think she trusts me a little more, so I should finish this.”

“I’ve interrogated hundreds of victims before, I think I can handle this. You can step in if she gets irate.” Yoongi can already sense how there’s an obvious shift in your demeanor when you notice that Yoongi’s isn’t accompanying him.

“Y/n, what happened to you was not your fault, but the person who did it needs to be dealt with. You were kidnapped, held hostage against your will, and no matter what that person might have told you, there are people who care about you that have been looking for you. You’re a victim and the person who did this to you will not get away with it. The man who had you and multiple others killed is already in our custody, he stands trial tomorrow. Now, we just need to get the others. Can you help us do that?”

You look at the one-way mirror. “Where’s the other guy, Yoongi, why didn’t he come back?...”

He evades the question. “Did he ever tell you his name?” Eunwoo glances at the one-way mirror before softening his tone. “Y/n, do you know his name?”

You frown, looking down at the bracelet on your wrist. “Does my family know I’m here?...” 

“Y/n, we are going to let your family know but you have to realize what’s going on here. Senator Leu, who is standing trial today, hired someone to have you killed, but they didn’t kill you and we need to know why. Is he threatening you?... Is that why you won’t tell us anything?”

You swallow, throat feeling incredibly dry, face heating up. You chug down the second glass of water, it only cooled you down for just a moment.

Yoongi watches with a trained eye. You having to talk to Eunwoo alone was not a good idea. Gathering that this interrogation is going to end pretty soon, he decides to go ahead and contact your family.

“I don’t feel well,” You blink slowly, handing going to your stomach, “can I get some more water?...”

“Sure,” He can’t deny you water, but he knows when someone is avoiding questions, “but before I get that, I need you to tell me who did this to you.”

You look at him and like a rehearsed scene, you queue the tears. The discomfort on Minho’s face indicates the foolish decision he made to interrogate you alone.

“Y/n,” He looks you over and wonders why you keep messing with the black bracelet on your wrist, “that’s a nice bracelet, is it yours?”

Wiping your tears, you scramble for an answer, “Yes, it’s-...It’s mine.”

“So, if we ran a DNA test on it, the only prints on it would be yours?... Or, was this bracelet given to you by someone, maybe by the man who had you all this time?”

You lower your head onto the table and cover your face with your arms, Yoongi presses his temples—you’re not budging, but Eunwoo insists. In the meantime, he decides to step in the hall and make a few calls to your job, family, and friends.

“Why does it matter!?” You snap, eyes burning red. “It’s mine and if you want it, you’ll have to pry it off of my dead body, I won’t let you take it off for anything, it has nothing to do with this...”

“You’re making this harder than it has to be, you know that, don’t you?” He reaches into his pocket and holds a fist in front if you. 

“Remember this? Suzy said you wouldn’t be caught dead without it, but it was on the floor in your house. Is that bracelet just as special as this?” He opens his hand and there sits your favorite necklace, the one your parents gifted you years ago. As much as you love that necklace, this bracelet is just as special, it’s a piece of Taehyung.

You ball your fist, tears welling at your eyes, you don’t care. “Just leave me alone, I don’t wanna talk anymore...” 

He sits on the uncomfortable steel bench, arms cuffed behind him. It’s dark, cold, and dreary, but the interior of this place is the least of his worries. He’s never been on this side of the bars, despite deserving it. The gate slides open suddenly, Taehyung can feel the guard's presence but he doesn’t bother looking up.

“Come with me.”

Without a word, he obliged, picking up his feet with heavy strides. The guard holds his arm tight, leading him through the halls to find interrogation room 12. 

“Is interrogation room 12 open?” The guard talks to the officer standing at one of the many rooms lining the hall. The two of them strike up a conversation but Taehyung is listening to the conversation down the hall.

“She’s alright, I called her job and her mother, and Jin,” Yoongi paces, peeking down the hall to see the third culprit brought in for questioning, “there will be a lot of happy people when they find out she’s okay.”

“That’s great, I’m glad, I know the last case you had didn’t go this well,” Jungkook flips through the phony contracts that his recent client was given to sign, “I’m about to leave the firm so I’ll have to call you tomorrow, but if you need me to help with the case just let me know.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Yoongi bids him farewell and slips the phone in his pocket. The lawyer had helped a lot in the last missing person case Yoongi was involved in, the victim was in rough shape. It was a young woman kidnapped by an ex, it wasn’t a pretty outcome. The shape they found her in will always be ingrained in his memory, it haunts him that he couldn’t get to her sooner.

Yoongi walks down the hall and Taehyung watches him. He tries to do it in a subtle way, but that’s the man that carried you out of his home while he was being cuffed and pushed into the back of a cop car. Anger bubbled in his chest, the inability to call out to you, to take you into his arms, it hurt him to his core.

Yoongi spares him a glance before going back into the one-way mirrors viewing room and the door closes, preventing him from seeing inside any further. You’re a wreck. It only takes a few seconds for Yoongi to see you balling your eyes out as Eunwoo paces around you to barge in there to put a stop to it.

“I know you’re scared but you need to stop covering for that Man. You’re safe, he can’t hurt you now-”

“Hey,” Yoongi looks at him as if he’s grown a second head, he whispers, “stop, she’s completely shutting down. She needs to be physiologically evaluated before we finish this, look at her,” He gestures to you who’s trembling, breathing hitched with our inability to stop crying, “we can’t do this right now.”

He sighs, pulling Yoongi to a corner, “I’m sorry, I just, I hate to know that somebody did this to her and she won’t say anything, her Stockholm syndrome is on another level.” 

“The owner of that house had to be the one who did it, just go to the research lab and they should be able to tell you. I’m taking her to the Melody’s Heart temporary safe house until her family can pick her up tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’m going to step out for a minute.” With that, Eunwoo leaves the room. it takes Yoongi talking you down for about 2 minutes to finally get you to stand up and walk with him. You sniffle, rubbing your eyes as Yoongi walks you out of the room and into the hall.

Taehyung is right there. 

Your eyes widen and your gait slows, he’s right in front of you. Yet, the only thing connecting you is your gaze, this can’t be all there is left of your love. Yoongi leads you down the hall and you pull against him slightly. He notices your staring and that when the pieces come together. That’s him.

“Open room 12, officer Cha wants to have him interrogated separately.” 

Taehyung watches you disappear, he can’t say anything and he can’t do anything. He gets pushed into the room and into a hard steel chair.

*

*

It’s sunset, they drove you about 20 minutes away somewhere, you weren't sure. A woman opened the front door to a huge house, and Yoongi opened your car door, helping you out with a hand. He walked by your side and went inside with you to sign some papers. The woman was kind, she had curly brown hair she was speaking to you with the softest tone. She kept saying you were strong, why was she saying that? With Yoongi lingering behind you, the woman that you know now as Melody takes you to a bedroom on the first level of the house. She said they prepared the room for you, there was even a change of clothes with toiletries on the bed.

“Can I get you anything, sweetheart? You’re our only resident tonight, so I’m all yours.” She’s nice but you don’t feel like company, you don’t feel like looking at any more new faces. You shake your head and she nods in understanding, 

“Alright, then I’ll be here if you need anything, Mr. Min, I’m sorry but officers are actually not allowed in the bedrooms of the residents-”

“I’m not an officer, I helped with the case,” He turns to her so you can’t see his face and speaks lowly, “I just need to talk to her for a few minutes, I won’t be long.”

“Alright, just let me know when you’re headed out.” She leaves from standing in the doorway and cracks the door and she heads to the surveillance room that doubles as a bedroom for her. 

“Do you want to bathe? I’ll leave if so and we can talk after.” You’ve kicked your shoes off, crawled to the edge of the queen size mattress and curled on your side facing the window. “So, I talked to your parents and they’ll be heading here tomorrow but Jin will probably be here first,”

”Jin?” You sit up, wondering why your ex-boyfriend has anything to do with this. “Why?...”

“He hired me to look for you, he’s the reason I got involved in your case.” Yoongi keeps a safe distance, the little camera hidden behind the plant reminds him of the high-security this place has. “Out of everyone, he called the most, almost every day to get updates about you.” 

For a moment, you wonder if he has the correct Kim SeokJin. Because the last encounter you two had was so brief, it was a run-in at the grocery and you two talked about your jobs. It was really adult-like of you, you picked out potatoes as you picked up small-talk with an old flame. But there was no romantic love left, that boat had sailed a long time ago and your brief love for wine replaced it. He’s always cared about you, but you never thought he would be waiting for you.

“I have to go but I’ll be back in the morning, do you need anything before I go?” You shake your head, not wanting to be around him or anyone else any longer. It’s too much, it’s too much for you to handle all at one time and you just want to go to sleep. Maybe you’ll wake up, and this will all be a bad dream, and you’ll be in his arms. He said he would fix this, how is he going fix this?...

*

*

Yeosang waited for hours, he called Taehyung at least five times and he has yet to get a response. Something went wrong. In efforts to figure this out, he drove all the way from the meet-up spot to Tae’s house. He could tell the place had been intruded on, Tae never leaves his car outside of the garage at night. He pulls into the driveway, right beside the smokey black Audi R8. This isn’t like him to have gotten caught. The passports were ready, the new house was waiting, everything would have gone fine had the flight been earlier. He has to admit, he was looking forward to giving his good friends a chance at a happy life. He only met you once, but the way Tae talks about you, you two are clearly in love. If he knows Taehyung at all, he’ll receive a call in at least a few hours about what happened. He has to come out of this, that’s what Yeosang chants in his mind.

“So you own the house,” Eunwoo paces, coffee in flimsy Styrofoam cup as he takes a seat across from the culprit, “Kim Taehyung.”

Taehyung acknowledges him with a disinterested glance before staring down at the steel table separating them. He wonders if you’re still in the building, they were taking you away, but where were they taking you? After he was cuffed, he saw Minho’s men get cuffed but Minho and Jimin were gone. If he knows Minho at all, he’ll be back.

“Don’t you hear me talking to you?” Minho hits the table, causing Taehyung to finally looking at him. “Look, for some reason your record is clean. But if we find out that you were involved in any of these murders and this kidnapping, you’re looking at a hefty sentence. Just admit it, you saw a pretty, successful girl living all alone and you thought, why not take her? Are you threatening her, is that why she won’t reveal you?”

“There’s not a scratch on her, does it look like I threatened her?” Taehyung speaks for the first time, the very insinuation that the nature of this kidnapping was to harm you made him sick.

“So, you did it then?” He affirms.

Taehyung shrugs, expression too nonchalant for Eunwoo’s liking. “You know what, wipe that smug look off your face-”

“Cha,” Jaemin opens the door without warning.

“What?” He snaps. “Don’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”

“The chief wants to talk to you, he says it pertains to this case.” 

With a resent glare at Taehyung, Eunwoo leaves the room with urgency. Jaemin, however, stays in the doorway, eyes fixated on the acclaimed Hwan Group member that he’s heard so much about from Minho. Kim Taehyung, his record is so clean, he doesn’t have so much as a parking violation on him. If he didn’t know who he was, Taehyung would fly under the radar in his book, he’s that convincing.

“What do you want?” Tae scrutinizes the man, eyes scanning him up and down.

“So you’re Kim Taehyung,” Jaemin closes the door with a soft click, “you really fucked this one up, it’s a shame too, Minho said you were the best. You ruined your record all for that woman-”

“Where did they take her?”

“That doesn’t really matter, let’s just hope Minho can work something out for you, he’s pissed right now,” He shakes his head in and ‘tsk, tsk’ way, “had you just done your job, you and that poor woman wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“She was crying when I saw her, what did they do to her?” He shifts in his chair. “Fucking answer me.” 

“Look, stay quiet and you might get out of this alive, that’s all I can say,” And that’s all he says before quickly exiting the room, leaving Taehyung isolated in the cold room, head hung back against the chair. He’s tapping his foot, rhythmically, he’s jittery, anxious with thoughts about you. He promised he would fix this, how can he fix this when it’s so obvious that he’s got the least amount of control in this situation? Hold on Y/n, hold on.

*

*

Eunwoo rushes to the Chief's office and without a knock on the cracked door. he steps inside. He closes the door, “Chief, Jaemin said you wanted to see me?-...”

“Hello, Captain Cha.”

“Who are you? Where’s the Chief?“ 

“My name is Lee Minho, I’m sure you’ve heard my organization, the Hwan group. I know the chief and there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding here. The man you have in custody is a member and he’s only here because he made a mistake and my informant didn’t tell me who was on this case. You know of the Hwan group, the Chief has mentioned you and how you’ve dismissed some cases in compliance with the partnership we have.”

“This is really an HG case?” Minho nods. “The Chief never told me anything about dismissing this case. There were multiple murders and kidnapping, that’s not the typical HG favor.” 

“That’s because the man assigned to the job often does high-profile jobs but stays under the radar. Unfortunately, he didn’t follow the instructions of the job. It was a multiple person execution but he had to go back and get that woman because he missed her. He led me to believe that she was dead but I found out recently that he’s been hiding her from me. I went to his house to confront him and here we are.”

“But the pardons I’ve made have never been for HG jobs that involved things like this. He murdered innocent people-”

“My organization has helped get rid of a lot of bad people and my people have worked in situations where cops just aren’t trained in. They get the job done if they chose to take it, no questions asked. Anyone who’s willing to pay can seek my group for help. They’re pawns, and Taehyung was one of my best. He takes a job and he does it, no sentiments attached. But for this woman, I don’t know,” He shakes his head at the thought, “he just couldn’t do it and that messed up everything, his reputation is screwed. Now I’m here trying to clean up his mess, a little.  I’m sure you’ve spoken with our middleman, Na Jaemin, he was supposed to monitor this case to ensure things didn’t end up like this. But since it couldn’t be helped, I’m here to propose a deal.”

“Okay, what kind of deal? Because someone has to pay for this,” Eunwoo paces, “her disappearance has been televised and in the articles, she was a writer, people knew of her work from her publisher and they've been anticipating her return for months. We can’t just say she’s been found and then not give them any more than that. People will want to know where she’s been and who took her. Someone has to be held responsible other than Leu.”

“No, that’s not entirely true. We can arrange a cover story and Taehyung can be released to me.” He reasons. “And the girl stays free.”

“What about justice for her? She’s been-”

“Trust me, she’s not happy about this ‘rescue,’ it’s not what you think, she loves him.” Minho recalls the act of affection you two shared and how you pleaded to stay by his side, “I’m sure there are some psychological factors but at the end of the day, they are romantically involved, that’s probably why she’s so apprehensive to say anything, she doesn't want to say anything that might ruin her chances of seeing him again.”

“Woah...wait, I don’t think this is a consensual relationship if it were, why wouldn’t she say anything about is?”

He shrugs, “Doesn’t really matter at this point, here’s what needs to happen; I’ll take Taehyung back because he’s still under contract for a full year after this year ends, he has a job to do. In exchange, I’ll set up the cover story and the two of them can never make contact again, how does that sound?”

“Hm,” He takes a moment to consider the possibility of something going wrong, “them not making contact would put him in the clear and isolate her from any association with the group. That sounds foolproof but what if they don’t agree? If they’re together like you say, who’s to say she won’t rat on the group or he won’t try to find her anyway? I don’t see how we can get her to go back to her regular life.”

“She’ll never go back to her regular life, not really. I’ve known Kim for years, he’s not a monster but that doesn't change the fact that she was kidnapped, isolated from society for months and all she had was him. We’ll have to tell her what’s going on of course, but I doubt she’ll squeal if it means putting him in prison. They’ve said their goodbyes, it’s not a love story to be salvaged anyway. He doesn’t have a family he has very few friends and he has a ton of money, a huge house in a nice part of town, he’s got everything.” 

“What if he refuses?”

Taehyung broke under the hand of a thing like you, the idea that he is emotionally impenetrable is long gone. Minho straightens the collar of his dress shirt and leaves the room to go deliver the news. “He doesn’t need her, his job doesn’t allow for distractions like her, and he knew that when he signed up; he’ll get over it.” 

The door creaks and he expected it to be one of those officers, but Minho emerges with a guard who quickly walks over to take off the cuffs. Aside from the guard who just scurried out, Minho isn’t accompanied by anyone and he doesn’t look like he’s seen two seconds in a pair of handcuffs. He knew his boss had connections in high places but he never imagines it was to this extent.

“I am upset with you, Taehyung,” Minho circles around the chair, hands on the back of it, “you don’t know the strings I’ve had to pull to keep this quiet. What were you thinking? You knew the job, but you deliberately put your self in harm's way when you decided to hide her from me.”

“Had I told you she was alive, would you not have tried to kill her?” His tone bites.

“Probably, but it doesn’t matter what I would have done, you were supposed to do it.” He stresses. “I didn’t take the job Taehyung, you did.”

Tae diminishes a bit, the guilt of it all coming to the forefront of his mind. At the end of the day, no matter how many people actually wanted to harm you, he’s the one that signed up to do it. And it hurts, it hurts because he loves you, you love him and he doesn’t deserve if, but he wants it more than anything.

“Where is she?”

“I think they took her to some safe home, she got hurt but she got medical attention for her injuries. Now that she’s taken care of, I’m getting you out of here. I arranged a deal with the chief and it gets you out of this mess scotch free.”

“Okay...What’s the catch?” He knows there’s a catch, there always is.

“Your contract isn’t up, you have a little over a year left with the organization and despite how frustrated I am with you, you’re good at your job. You have to finish your contract.”

“And if I choose not to?” He asks daringly.

“If you choose not to, any immunity you have from the law because of the organization goes away, that will most likely land you in prison. But if you finish, your record stays clean.”

Tae doesn’t have to weigh his options to make a decision, but Minho hasn’t mentioned you. “What about Y/n? Will she be safe under this deal?”

“Of course, a cover-up story is arranged and she gets to go back to her everyday life,” He grins, “everyone's happy.” 

A glimmer of hope comes to his eyes. “Then I can be with her, and no one will know about the kidnapping?”

“Oh, no. She’s staying here and you’re being transferred to the Europe division of the organization, you’ll reside in Bordeaux, France and travel throughout Europe for jobs. The deal is that you never see her again, it guarantees there can be no association between you two.”

“What? No, no...I can’t do that, I love her, she means everything to me. I won’t leave her, not without an explanation. We were gonna leave before you showed up, make a new life with all of this shit behind us,” His nose burns and he bites back a tear, “I-...I wanted to marry her one day, I can’t just leave her here.” 

“You don’t have a choice, your flight leaves in the morning if you’re lucky they’ll let her out and you might be able to say goodbye one last time. Come on, we need to get out of here, you have to pack up. Do yourself a favor and try to forget about her, she’ll eventually do the same.”

This can’t be it, this can’t the end everything he’s built with you. He promised he would fix this, how can he fix this if he’s on the other side of the world? The thought of going to get you and running came to mind, but he can’t make you live like that, on the run like outlaws, he loves you too much. He has to fix this but you’ll have to wait. His heart aches, he knows you’re probably alone and confused. This is all my fault, this is my fault.

[luviedovey]

the you i fell in love with

connor murphy x female!reader

a/n: not me writing a fic about mike faist’s connor murphy 2 years after he left the show...... also Connor is probably ooc 

summary: you were Connor’s girlfriend who lived in the next town over, a little over a half hour away. his family didn’t know about you, no one did. he didn’t want his family or anyone he knew to scare you away. in the end, it didn’t really matter. he was gone. when the Connor Project came to be and Evan resigned from being co-president, you ran into him. you questioned him about his “friendship” with Connor and he told you everything.

set after the Murphy’s find out the truth and before the Evan/Zoe reunion at the orchard.

second person pov

warning: a few swear words, also very brief mention of depression and taking your own life, and Larry Murphy kind of being a dick

word count: 5,573

______

“Who are you exactly?” Evan questioned the girl who pulled him off to the side of the supermarket where no one else was around. To say he was a little nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m so sorry! I probably scared you half to death dragging you along like that.. I just have some questions for you, if you don’t mind answering..?” You smiled at him sheepishly. Something about your awkward smile eased his mind a bit, but not enough. “No, sorry my mom actually is waiting for me by the-” “It’s about Connor!” You interrupted, looking at him through sad, heartbroken eyes. “..Please. Evan Hansen. I know you weren’t really friends with him. I know you weren’t even secret friends with him.. Because if you were, I would’ve known.”

Evan looked around before looking back at you, confused. “Who are you?” He asked for the second time. “I’m- I was Connor’s girlfriend. Y/N L/N. I met him 2 years ago at the apple orchard you guys rebuilt?  We both went there because we thought that no one else would be there and that it would be the perfect place to escape. His family and classmates never knew about me because he-” you laugh slightly,” he was afraid they would take me away from him. Or that his family would fight in front of me and he’d lose his cool or that his sister would say nasty things about him to ‘spare me from being in a relationship with him’ or even that the bullies at his school would turn me against him even though he knew damn well I could never.” You stopped rambling and passed him a Polaroid picture of the two of you, sitting against the chain link fence that surrounded the old abandoned apple orchard. You were looking up at Connor with heart eyes as he smiled back down at you. A real smile. This was the real Connor Murphy.

Evan looked up from the picture at you, shocked before quickly returning it to you. “Oh my god... You must think I’m such a h- horrible person for doing all this and pretending to be best friends with your- your dead boyfriend- I’m so sorry for your loss by the way- and making up all these stories about things we never really did and starting a whole online campaign about-” “Evan!” He stopped ranting, breathing heavily. “Breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Relax.”

It was silent for a moment before Evan mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

You smiled knowingly. “Now. Mind telling me everything?”

The two of you sat in your old beat up truck, as Evan told you everything. And by everything i mean everything. He started from the very beginning, “My dad left when I was 7 so now it’s just me and my mom. She works all the time at the hospital to support us and to pay for her education- she’s studying to be a paralegal- and so I’m usually home alone. I have anxiety so I take medication and go to therapy where I have to write a letter to myself hyping myself up for the day and trying to be positive and stuff-” “’Dear Evan Hansen’...”

He looked up from his hands at you, “Yeah.. Connor had one of my letters when he- um.. he took it from me earlier that day..” “It was your therapy letter? Why did he take it from you?” “Oh! You see he didn’t actually know it was a letter to myself for therapy he just thought I was being creepy and writing about his sister in a letter to print it out where he would find it and freak out and explode or something- That wasn’t why though, I didn’t even know he was in the room with me, I thought I was alone. He signed my cast before he read my letter, though. He said, ‘Now we both can pretend we have friends.’ Which is why I thought doing what I did would be okay but it wasn’t and it never will be and I really shouldn’t justify my actions because it was-” “Evan breathe.” “Right, sorry.” “Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” “Okay sor-” You gave him a pointed look.

“O-okay...” You giggled slightly, looking out of the window at the supermarket parking lot, “So.. he ran out with your letter, pissed because he thought you were fucking with him... And then he killed himself.” “Yeah.”

“So what happened after that?” “The Murphy’s showed up in the principal’s office three days later. I knew something was wrong because Connor and Zoe both weren’t in school and I know Connor skips but it’s not likely that they would both be out on the same days. Zoe doesn’t really skip school- she’s not that kind of person.” You nodded, gesturing to get to the point. “Right, they called me into the office because Connor had my letter and my name was on it so they thought the letter was for me. I tried to tell them it wasn’t- that I was the one who wrote it, but they were in denial. They kept reading parts of my letter back to me from memory, trying to make sense of it but I couldn’t tell them- I couldn’t get through to them....” He sighed.

“They invited me over to dinner and I went because I wanted to set the record straight but when I got there, they wanted to hear everything I knew about Connor. But I didn’t know anything, so whenever they brought something up I just nodded and agreed. Zoe was getting suspicious so I started to make things up. ‘Connor loved to talk about how much he hated skiing.’ ‘Connor took us to A La Mode and we ate our ice cream in the apple orchard where we climbed trees and raced across the open fields.’ ‘We would quote songs by our favorite bands.’ ‘We’d tell jokes no one else would understand.’ All lies. And they believed them. They wanted me to keep talking, they needed me to. They were broken and I just wanted to help them. I told them that we were friends on the internet where we’d email each other to talk about our day and stuff. And Connor would use a secret email account because he knew his dad was checking his regular email, and he didn’t want anyone to know we were friends.... Now that I think about it, this kind of sounds like your story.” You laughed, lightening the mood, and nodded.

“You know, you really aren’t that far off from who Connor was, despite the fact that you were making it up as you went. He wasn’t the monster that everyone thought he was. I mean sure in 2nd grade he pushed over a printer because he had a little tantrum about being skipped for line leader, but what kid doesn’t have a tantrum at least once in their life? It definitely didn’t help that all those kids grew up, making the story sound worse than it really was. He was always angry and stand-offish because everyone in his life would say shit about him that wasn’t true or be nice to him to get close enough to learn something new about him and then turn around and make fun of him for it. He was battling depression and needed help but his family didn’t want to believe there was anything actually wrong with him. I was the only one to believe him. To believe in him. But I’m just one person, and I guess that wasn’t enough..” You trailed off. Evan awkwardly put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to console you.

It was silent for a moment. “I think he would’ve liked you. It would’ve taken him a while to warm up to you, but I really do think the two of you could’ve been friends.” Evan smiled slightly, before frowning. “I pretended to be his friend for so long, but Alana- she’s the co-president of the Connor Project- started getting suspicious about our friendship, saying that the letters didn’t make sense because it sounded like Connor was getting better so I showed her Connor’s ‘suicide note’-” “Dear Evan Hansen, It turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because, why would it be?”

“...Yeah. She believed me too. I told her not to show anyone because it was a really private thing, but she just said that was exactly what people needed to see. She posted it and people on the internet started to attack the Murphy’s, saying things like ‘They’re a rich family who couldn’t bother to pay for their son to get help?’ and ‘I’m not saying to do anything illegal but their house is the pale yellow house at the end of the cul de sac with a red door.’” Your hand flew to your mouth in shock. “They even leaked Zoe’s phone number and their house phone! Everything was just spiraling out of control and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and the only thing I could think of to do was just.. them the truth. So I did and I told them everything. I wrote the letter, Connor took it from me, we weren’t really friends, and it was all a lie. I haven’t spoken to the Murphy’s since.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap and sighed. “And.. I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll go to school and everyone will hate me or that the Murphy’s will ruin my life.. Not that I don’t deserve it, after what I did? I deserve worse.”

“Evan.. No one deserves that, especially not you. What you did wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but you had the best intentions.” He nodded silently, “What did you want to ask me earlier anyways?”

You turned, facing down at the wheel in front of you. “I wanted to ask you if you knew where he was buried.”, a tear slipped from your eye as you sighed, smiling sadly, “I didn’t exactly get to say goodbye..” “I could go with you if you’d like. To show you the way?”

“Thank you, Evan.”

___

During the ride to the cemetery, You and Evan talked, trying to lighten the mood, and quickly became best friends. The two of you didn't have so much in common but you were both very comfortable and supportive of each other. You were like the siblings neither of you had.

The two of you stepped out of the truck, and begun walking to Connor’s grave. “Oh! Hold on..” You turn back, grabbing a beautiful bouquet of red roses and pink tulips, with a small white card that said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you enough when you needed it, Connor. I will never forget you, mon amour. I love you, always.” Connor didn’t have a specific favorite flower but he did appreciate their meanings. Roses represent love, and tulips represent a declaration of love. You hoped that even though he was gone he would still appreciate the thought you put into it.

The two of you walked up to his grave. It was at this moment when it hit you that he was really gone forever. You dropped to your knees, carefully placing down the flowers. Tears streaming as you silently sobbed, Evan’s hand on your left shoulder and the ghost of Connor’s hand on your right.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I love you more than you’ll ever know..”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, before agreeing to leave in case the Murphy’s decided to visit. Neither of you really wanted to run into them and have to explain who you were and why you were there. “Do you want to come over to my house? You look emotionally exhausted.” You laughed and nodded, starting up the car.

___

“Why didn’t you come to town sooner?” You sighed, “I just.. I didn’t want to believe that he was really gone, you know? And coming here, seeing his grave, and his grieving family just confirmed what I prayed wasn’t true.” You sipped on the hot chocolate in your hands, staring out of the window at the pouring rain and cloudy night sky. “Have you met them yet?” Evan mumbled, typing on his laptop on the couch beside you. He pulled up the Connor Project and read about all the many different things Alana was doing. “No.. But I feel like I should? Like I know things about Connor that would give them closure but I can’t bring myself to go over and talk to them.”

“If only there was a way for you to show them what Connor was really like so you wouldn’t have to talk to them...” It was silent for a moment, “Actually... Connor and I used to write each other handwritten letters and take a lot of pictures together..” “Well what are the odds..” he giggled, “Maybe you could give those to them? The ones that aren’t super personal?” You sat together deeply in thought.

“But I can’t exactly bring myself to just give them away... Maybe I could copy them and white out all the personal stuff? Like the things between me and Connor only, and my face and name?” Evan nodded, agreeing that that would be the best option. You’d create a box filled with things Connor wrote and pictures of when he was truly happy, then leave it on the Murphy’s doorstep. It was a safe, no-contact interaction.

___

The next night, you went over to Evan’s house with the box labeled “The Real Connor Murphy. (i’m so sorry for your loss.. i thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.)” Evan gave you directions to the Murphy household. Eventually, you parked in front of the pale yellow house, all three cars were in the driveway. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to see you.. Just.. keep the car running, drop off the box, ring the doorbell, and book it back here and drive off. Don’t turn back.” “Okay super spy.” You laughed nervously.

You walked up to the door, placing the box neatly on the ground with a single rose and tulip tapped on the top, rang the doorbell, and ran off. You jumped into the car and drove off just as Evan, who was previously hiding away from the car window, saw the red front door begin to open.

___

“Larry!” Cynthia Murphy exclaimed, picking up the box from the front porch to the dinner table, placing it beside the small card they had found on a mysterious bouquet of flowers they found the day before against Connor’s gravestone. “What is that?” He asked, looking at it with disinterest. “I found it on the porch, it says ‘The Real Connor Murphy. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.’ It’s in the same handwriting as the note we found on that bouquet of flowers. It even has the same two flowers! It has to be the same person. Someone who really loved him...” “What’s inside?” Zoe asked while reading and rereading the small card.

Cynthia opened the box to find handwritten letters from Connor and a mystery girl, photos of Connor laughing, smiling, pouting, hugging and kissing someone with a scratched out face. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was the real Connor, a whole different version of him that the three were completely unaware of. Seeing him like this was just so unfamiliar to them, they couldn’t believe their eyes for a moment. Zoe picked up a letter, reading it aloud,

“Dear Y/N

Things haven’t been going so well lately, my parents are always fighting, my mom pretends like there’s nothing wrong, my dad doesn’t pay attention to anyone but himself anymore, and Zoe hates me.

Not that I blame her, I hate myself too. But I don’t hate myself when I’m around you. I’m so glad to have you around. You make life just a little easier every day.

It’s harder when you’re not around, I get angry easier when I get bullied at school or when Zoe says something awful about me. I just feel like I’m an airplane about to crash, but with you around I feel like I’m flying. Smooth sailing. Floating even. You are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.

Thank you. I love you.

Sincerely, Con”

“He.. he had a girlfriend..?” She said, in shock. The three began to shuffle through the letters, photos, and little post-it notes, putting them in piles. “These are all copied..” “Maybe whoever left them didn’t want to give the originals away..?” “Maybe because she still cares about and loves him and didn’t want to give these away. They seem so.. personal.” Cynthia picked up a post-it note,

“Tu es belle Y/N, je t'adore.”

“What does that even mean?” Zoe pulled out her phone going straight to google translate, “It’s says ‘you are beautiful, i adore you.’.. I didn’t know Connor knew french.” “He never took a class for it. Maybe he learned it on his own?” Larry picked up a photo this time, Connor was standing in front of the apple orchard’s rotting old sign in the middle of the field, fake pouting and wearing a thin little flower crown you had made him. “I didn’t know Connor had any feelings other than anger.” Cynthia hit his arm. “Wait,” Zoe said, grabbing the attention of her bickering parents, “This letter has a picture and a post-it note attached to it.”

“Dear Con,

Thank you for the painting, it’s absolutely beautiful. You are so so talented. The way you put so much thought into every detail is truly admirable. You make everything you paint so exciting and captivating, even if the thing you’re painting isn’t very exciting at all. You see the beauty in the things that most people never give a second glance.

It kind of reminds me of the way I look at you.

To most people that don’t know you, you are a “freak” or “school shooter chic”. But, when I look at you, you are none of those things. You are beautiful, you are captivating, you are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. Don’t give up on me darlin’.

I love you.

Sincerely, Y/N/N”

Attached to the letter was a photo of the painting mentioned. It was a painting of your beaten old navy blue truck parked beside a chain link fence that blocked it off from the open field. In the background, the sun was setting in a perfect blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was so detailed that if you weren’t already aware that it was a painting, you would’ve probably thought it was a photo taken from a fancy camera. “It really is beautiful..” Cynthia trailed off, wiping a stray tear that fell from her eye, “He was so talented. I didn’t even know he liked to paint! I mean I knew he took an art class but because he skipped school so much, I never even thought he went..”

“I guess we really didn’t know Connor at all..” Zoe begun to get angry, “What kind of family does that?! I mean we lived with him, I grew up with him, you two raised him, and we still didn’t even know who he was?! This.. this stranger even knew more about him than we did! Do you realize how sad this is? We have to learn about our dead family member from a complete stranger because when he was alive, we were too busy pretending like he was just acting out for attention instead of actually needing help! He needed help and we didn’t give it to him! It’s not like we couldn’t afford to take him to therapy! We just pretended like he was a monster and if we ignored him, he would stop..” She took a deep breath, “Maybe we were the monsters and his anger and tantrums were his cries for help...” “Zoe..” Cynthia reached for her arm but she pulled away, running up to her room while choking back tears. “..She’s right.”

The two were quiet for a long period of time, reading and rereading every letter and every note, memorizing every photo.

Cynthia held up a photo of Connor and a girl, whose face was completely scratched out, “Who are you..”

___

The next day was a particularly warm day so you and Evan drove over to A La Mode as a victory ice cream run of sorts. You really believed in treating yourself after small, seemingly insignificant, victories such as dropping off a box of precious letters to a grieving family. They needed closure, and you were willing to give it them. Evan, despite talking about A La Mode with the Murphy’s before, had never actually been. You two talked and ate your ice cream sitting in the back of your truck, looking out at the orchard across the street. The orchard was renamed the “Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard”, which made your heart a little heavy. Another reminder that he was really gone.

In the distance, on the other side of the fence sat the Murphy’s who were packing up from their weekly picnic. As they got up to walk out of the orchard, Zoe looked across the street. “Wait a minute..” Her parents stopped walking. “What is it Zoe?” Larry asked. She pointed at the car parked across the street, “Isn’t that the car that Connor painted his girlfriend in that letter? And Evan?” They looked across the street to find the same navy blue truck and a familiar face.

Evan paled, “The Murphy’s are looking at us!” he whisper-shouted. You began to turn around, but Evan stopped you. “No don’t look!” Your head whipped back to him as your face paled, “They recognized my car..” “How could they? It was night time when you dropped off the box and the door barely begun to open as you drove away..”

You smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have given them a picture of a painting Connor made me of my truck parked beside that exact fence...” Evan facepalmed and gave you a deadpanned look. “Well they’re starting to walk across the street now.”

You shot up, “Let’s go.” “I mean would it be so bad to meet his parents?” Evan asked as the two of you scrambled into the front seats. “I’m just.. I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet.” You reversed out of the parking spot and drove back onto the road.

“Wait!” The Murphy’s shouted to the car as it begun to drive off. “There was a girl driving. Maybe that was her?” Cynthia asked, hopefulness clear in her voice. “She was with Evan, do you think the box of letters were fake?” Larry, always the optimist. “They couldn’t be, they were handwritten in Connor’s handwriting. Even the french notes.”

Zoe thought for a moment, “Well if we’re going to find her, we should probably start with Evan’s place first.” “Who said we were going to look for her?” Larry asked, “I’m not wasting my time on a wild goose chase. She’s already shown us enough about Connor.”

Cynthia turned to her husband, “How could you say that? She could be the one thing to bring us closer to our son. Our son who took his own life because he felt that that was the only path left for him. And you don’t want to try to find her? Find closure? Honestly Larry, what is wrong with you lately!” “I’m sorry. We’ll find her.”

___

The Murphy’s found themselves at the Hansen household. They knew you were there. After all, your truck was parked in the driveway. Inside were you, Heidi, and Evan. You had just met Heidi, but she loved you. She was thrilled to find that Evan had made a friend like you. You hung out with Evan even after learning he lied about being friends with your recently deceased boyfriend, and helped him when he started to rant and breathe heavy about it. You were so kind-hearted, forgiving, and calm by nature, that he was finally comfortable around someone. You were quickly best friends.

A knock at the door startled the three of you. “Are you guys expecting anyone?”, Heidi stood up to get the door as you and Evan turned to each other. He placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I suppose now’s a good time as ever, even though I really only had 24 hours to prepare myself..” You muttered, the two of you walking towards the front door.

The Murphy’s stopped and stared at you. “Are you.. Were you Connor’s girlfriend?” Cynthia asked. You nodded slightly, rubbing your arm as a nervous habit. “I’m Cynthia, this is Larry and Zoe.. We’re Connor’s family.” “I know.”

Heidi invited them in, everyone heading to the living room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.. We just wanted to thank you for all the letters and photos of Connor. It feels like we’re finally getting to know who he really was on the inside.” You looked up from your lap, “No offense ma’am, but shouldn’t you have gotten to know your own son when he was still around?”

Zoe laughed, awkward and uncomfortable. “I really don’t think that’s funny.. especially considering you didn’t bother to get to know him either.” You said getting defensive, sticking up for Connor. Even if he was gone, you would never stop fighting for him. You did truly love him after all. “And before you say ‘Connor wasn’t easy to talk to. He would always yell and storm off.’, just think about the fact that having a relationship with someone is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to make an effort if you don’t try to do the same.”

The three looked at her in shock. Heidi and Evan smiling sheepishly in the background. “I..”, Larry started, but trailed off, not being able to come up with a proper response. Cynthia and Zoe looked deep in thought, unable to do the same.

It was quiet for a long amount of time.

“You’re right. You’re right and I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. And the only thing we could do now is learn from our mistakes. We don’t exactly know how we’re going to do that but we’re willing to try. And we’re hoping that you could help us? Help us figure out what to do and help us learn about who Connor was?” Zoe finally spoke up, her parents nodding along in agreement.

You were trying to heal from everything that happened and them putting all their hope on you wasn’t really helping. But maybe grieving together would allow everyone to heal and remember him in a more positive way? At least you hoped.

There’s a lot of hope pinned on others here.

“I suppose helping you all would let us heal.. together?” You said, slightly questioning your own words, turning toward Evan. He shrugged, giving you a thumbs-up. “But I don’t feel comfortable talking about Connor unless Evan is around.” You paused, “It’d be nice to have a familiar face around and we’re practically best friends now.. so..” “Yes of course.” The three stood up, walking to the front door, “We’ll come back here at 11AM tomorrow and drive to the orchard for a picnic if that’s alright with the two of you?” You and Evan nodded simultaneously. “Are you allergic to anything dear?”

With the shake of your head and a quick goodbye from Evan and Heidi, the Murphy’s were off.

“Am I doing the right thing here? Connor didn’t even want his family to known I existed! And now we’re going on a picnic with them? Where I have to talk about him?” You sat down, head in your hands as a headache begun to grow. Heidi placed her hand on your shoulder gently, “It’s going to be tough right now, and it’s going to be emotionally draining, I’m sure. But, if you really think that they deserve to know who he really was, that how they perceive him is wrong, then I think you are doing the right thing. You’re helping them, you’re helping yourself, and you’re helping Connor. You did say that he wanted to change the way people saw him. And you’d be doing that for him, even if he’s not physically around to see it happen.”

“Thank you, Heidi.”

___

“It’s really nice of you to agree to meet us here, Y/N. And Evan, it’s nice to have you here too.” Cynthia smiled, putting down a blanket for the picnic. Everyone sat down in an awkward silence.

“So... is.. is there anything you wanted to know that wasn’t already in the letters?” You asked, picking at the blades of grass beside you. Evan slapped your hand away from the grass, silently scolding you in true forest ranger fashion for messing with nature. The Murphy’s turned to each other, silently debating what to say and who would say it. No surprise to you and Evan that the one to speak up was Cynthia. The past couple of hours really showed that she was the only one who seemed to care, at least a little bit, about Connor when he was around, though Zoe and Larry were trying their best now.

“Why didn’t Connor bring you around to meet the family? It really seemed like you brought so much light to his life. I mean, you brought out parts of him that we didn’t even know existed!” “We thought he was a monster...” Zoe muttered sadly.

Your heart ached for this family, they really knew nothing about him.. “Connor didn’t bring me around because he was afraid you’d all ‘scare me off’,” you laughed slightly, “And Connor may have been a monster to you, but the real Connor was never a monster, to me or to anyone in my small town. In the next town over, no one knew who Connor was or what he’d done in the past. It was like a fresh start. Which I knew he desperately needed. I mean, with all the people bullying him, hurting him physically or emotionally or both, and spreading fake rumors about him since he was in the second grade? He was angry and hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he would lash out. But wouldn’t you react the same way? Build up walls so people wouldn’t hurt you? Isolate yourself so people couldn’t get close enough to?”

It went silent again, the only sound was the wind blowing in the summer breeze and the trees rustling in the background.

“She’s right.”

Everyone looked up, faces showing some form of shock. Larry continued, “All that stuff was going on in school and we made it worse for him at home. He asked us for help and we always assumed he was doing for attention. No matter how hard we tried to be a perfect family, we never were and we probably never will be.”

Zoe wiped away a stray tear. “Even though you couldn’t save your kid, maybe there’s a way you could save someone else’s?” He turned to you with a questioning glance. “I mean you have to admit, you’re a pretty wealthy family, maybe you can spend some time donating to suicide prevention hotlines and foundations that were created specifically to help those who are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts like Connor was? I know for a fact that Connor hated the way that he felt, and would never want anyone to go through what he’d been going through, no matter how much of an asshole they were.”

Cynthia reached over to you, placing a hand on your knee, smiling as tears fell freely from her face, from all of their faces. “That’s a brilliant idea, Y/N.”

___

The picnic went on as you told them stories of your’s and Connor’s adventures together. Jumping over the fence to lay around in the yellow fields of the old orchard, helping your mom arrange flowers in her flower shop (he would always make sure his bouquets were well thought out in their meaning), buying junk food and snacks when having movie marathons on a Saturday night, sketching and painting moments together so you two would never forget them.

With each little story, his family knew more about him and you felt as close to him as you had been before that heart-wrenching summer day. 

You fell behind from the group as you all walked out of the orchard. Turning back and taking one last look at the entrance, the fields, and the growing trees of the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard, you notice a figure dressed in black standing with his back against the fence. He gave you a smile, a genuine yet sad smile, mouthing the words “thank you” and “i love you”, before disappearing in the wind.

[jefferoni-quotes]

I'm having a pretty hard time rn (my grandpa passed away two days ago and my best friend and me had a major fall out the day before) so.. could you maybe give me some fluff? I don't care who about, I just need something nice and sweet -

First of all, anon, I'm so sorry about your grandpa! I hope you're okay, if not feel free to message me!

Take this short, fluffy Jamilton which had been sitting in my drafts for months. Thanks for making me finish this!

a copier room for two

Jamilton, 973 words

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tw for anxiety

Full fic under the cut!

Jefferson grabs Alexander by the arm and tugs him down the hall. The office is long empty, the employees filed home hours previous. A rumble of thunder breaks the unpleasant silence, and Hamilton lets out a pathetic whimper, suppressing the overwhelming urge to curl up into a ball. 

Jefferson is still pulling, less harsh and more caring with a focused expression plastered over his features. If he weren't so utterly caught in the net of fear, Alexander would've taken a moment to admire him. 

They turn a corner, a left he notes and then a door is thrown open with urgency. Another loud clap of thunder and a strike of lightning has involuntary tears tracking down Hamilton's cheeks. A choked sob comes from one of them, and it takes Alexander a second to realise it was him. He's guided by a strong hand into the room, a printer room, how classy he thinks. 

The door shuts and a light flickers on, suddenly the storm is nonexistent. Standing before him is a tired looking Thomas Jefferson. His usual arrogant smirk is replaced with a sad looking frown, his forehead wrinkles with the expression. He looks old. Well, not old. But older than he is. As far as Alexander knows, Jefferson is thirty-five, a full four years older than Hamilton, but he could easily pass for his mid-forties. 

Jefferson opens his mouth to speak, and that familiar sultry drawl does not escape. The accent itself is the same, but his tone has changed dramatically. His voice is quieter, lighter. He sounds more friendly, approachable and in a way… shy? It's an emotion he wasn't aware the ignorant jerk possessed, but it was a breath of fresh air. 

"This is the only soundproof room on this floor," Jefferson breathes, stepping away from the door, releasing the handle.

Alexander sighs. That's how he can no longer hear the crash of thunder. There aren't any windows either, so he's safe from seeing any of the storm too. Then he raises a questioning eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

He examines with intent as Jefferson's face lights up red, all the way up to his ears. The blush isn't as noticeable as it would be, and he susses the man must be grateful for his darker skin hiding his fluster. "Unimportant," he mutters and turns back to the door. "Would you like me to leave?"

Alexander blinks a few times. Despite being unable to see or hear the storm, he knows it's out there. And he really doesn't want to be alone. "Stay? Just until it's gone?" He musters the willpower to ask for help, and it doesn't feel good. Not until Jefferson lets go of the handle again and nods, his hands dropping to his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them.

With a moment of silence washing over them, Alexander sinks to the floor, tugging his knees up to his chest. The tears haven't ceased in their tirade of running down his face, and he sniffs as he realises this fact. His - admittedly hot - political rival has seen him at his lowest point. Great.

He doesn't notice Jefferson sitting down next to him until a thumb graces just below his eye and wipes a bitter tear away. He flinches and the hand is gone. He looks over, Jefferson automatically glances away. This is a side he's never seen of the man. This shy, bashful, quiet man is such a difference to the cocky piece of shit Alexander knows. 

They sit in silence for a minute longer, enjoying the feeling of not arguing. Alexander has calmed down significantly when Jefferson speaks.

"When I have panic attacks I come in here." He says with a simple shrug, but his eyes shine with fear and regret as soon as the words pass his lips.

"What?" Alexander asks, exasperated. He takes big gasping breaths.

"You asked me how I know this room is soundproof," Thomas (when did Jefferson become Thomas?) reminds him. "Well, I come in here when I'm having a panic attack, or I need to cry or whatever." The man looks away, averting his eyes from a confused Alexander. 

"What? When you need to…?" Alexander's voice wavers with the effort to hold himself together, for his and Thomas' sake.

Thomas catches his bottom lip between his teeth, rolls it back and forth as he considers his words. "Cry, or I'm panicking. Usually twice a week at least."

"When was the last time-?" Alexander asks, throat thick. It feels as though he's the cause of this.

"Yesterday-" Thomas announces, "you called me a pathetic disgrace to the earth," he adds, glancing off. The storm may have stopped by now, and yet neither dare move. 

Alexander caught his bottom lip between his teeth, rolled it back and forth nervously before letting it go. "I'm- sorry about that. You're… you're not that bad actually."

Thomas scoffs. "No, Hamilton. I am that bad."

Shaking his head, Alexander cuts in. "You're not. You wouldn't have helped me if you were."

Thomas snorts out a soft laugh and drops his head to Alex's shoulder absent-mindedly, not thinking about his actions. "You're not so bad yourself, Hamilton."

"Alexander," he corrects, threading his fingers through Thomas' curls. They spring - much to Alex's delight - to the touch. Not only that, but Thomas makes no objections, merely leans closer to Alexander.

"You're not so bad, Alexander," he repeats, name changed to fit better. It brings a gentle smile to Alex's face, and in this moment he's completely forgotten where they are. In his mind, they're no longer huddled in a cramped printer room, there is no storm outside and Thomas hasn't just opened up about his anxiety to him. No, it's just him and Thomas in their own little world together.

And it's perfect for now.

-

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