#i will destroy my obsession with perfection like it destroyed my confidence

[squishhy-wyrm-witch]

Something small that I’m proud of; I’ve gotten nearly 30 pages into my book of shadows and I’ve been able to accept that it’s not perfect. Sure there’s been a couple times where I’ve gone “yeah no this paragraph is not communicating what I want it to” and rewritten something. But it’s got scribbles in it and not everything is perfectly symmetrical. Things are in an order that makes sense to me and only me. Because it’s for me!

My craft isn’t perfect, why would the spiritual diary that I keep track of it in be?

[dreddedwheat]

Spiderverse Spoilers: My thoughts on The Spot

Okay so, Across the Spiderverse had fucking great characters - Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk), Miguel O'hara (Spider-Man 2099) and of course, Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India). All are absolute stand-outs, they're all fucking sick, there's no other way of putting it.

This film is an easy 10/10. But I was really impressed with what they did with The Spot.

I'm a big critic of 'silly' villains from comic-books being reduced to one note comedy characters in favour of edgier but much blander villains.

The Spot is a perfect example of how you can have a villain be silly, and remain that way, and still have him be intimidating as all hell.

Spoilers below, reader beware

So first of all, The Spot doesn't actually change that much as a character throughout the film. True we don't see much of him aside from the first fight with Miles and his appearance in Mumbattan, but every time we do he's pretty much the same...in terms of personality.

He's a great subversion of expectations, and I really didn't expect him to be THE villain of the whole film (aside from Miguel ofc). He gets much stronger naturally, and yet he remains this rather relaxed, awkward and aloof person.

He seems completely detached and obsessed with Spider-Man. Not in a teeth-gnashing, Green Goblin-like manner though. He holds a grudge, and wants to see it through to the point he doesn't even flinch at the idea of destroying the universe to do so.

And I love how they use his body-language to convey this. At first he's hunched and awkward, with a paunch and generally pathetic in motion. But the more powerful becomes, the more relaxed he is, slinking about and being almost graceful but with the exact same physique.

He doesn't get more confident, he always was, because he's self-centred (literally if you remember that one scene). I mean he fucking robs a guy, and spends the whole time basically complaining and whining that this is a 'bad experience' for him because someone's standing up to him.

For The Spot, he simply is Spider-Man's nemesis and that means he's totally justified in doing whatever it takes to destroy his life. It's the "Welp, guess I'm evil" approach but done much better.

It takes a character so easily dismissed and makes him a much more grounded and effective villain in every conceivable way.

I'm sure we'll get more insight into his backstory, and probably have more serious grounding with his motivation. But for now the utterly casual nature of him is what makes him so much fun to watch, and almost scary in a way.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi team! I was wondering if you might have some recommendations for Aziraphale-centric fics? Not really looking for whump, or fics where his feelings for Crowley are his sole focus (though I'd still enjoy it if were a significant part of the story), but moreso fics that look at Aziraphale holistically. First fic that comes to mind as an example is "Angel-Centered Therapy Through A Multicultural Lens: An Integrative Approach" by Nnm. Thanks!

Hello! Here are some Aziraphale-centric fics for you...

Could you breathe with me? by Euny_Sloane (T)

Aziraphale goes to counseling/therapy with an unnamed therapist and spends some time exploring his feelings related to love, loss, and family. Note that this is an imagined counseling session, and so may bring up uncomfortable feelings, regardless of how many tags I place, especially if you have the unfortunately common experience of feeling unloved by your family, or unworthy of love. Nothing graphic happens except a reference to Pompeii, though.

In a Perfect World, I would Hold your Hand and Kiss your Cheek by boredom (T)

A chance encounter with a young man leads Aziraphale on the path of healing and discovery. Maybe now he can finally admit to what he wants, without guilt and without fear. Maybe now he and Crowley can finally move forward, together.

Human Labels, and Angelic Discovery by Hemlock_Holmes (G)

Aziraphale discovers autism, and goes on a one-angel mission to learn everything he can about it. This is a purely self-indulgent fic about discovering yourself after many years, because I am so tired of reading books (not fanfic!) where the word autism is skirted around and treated like taboo, even when everyone knows that's what the author means. Just say it people! Also because nothing gives me greater joy than watching Aziraphale stim.

something wretched about this by IvyOnTheHolodeck (T)

You might wonder why Aziraphale can't seem to enjoy his retirement in peace. You could ascribe his distress to the series of terrifying thoughts that haunt his days, or the only book he wishes he'd never read, or even the wound that still hurts after six thousand years. Really, though, you should blame the fact he's never learned to talk about his feelings.

The Other Arrangement: or, How the Angel Got so Hungry by burnttongueontea (T)

‘It’s just… funny. Don’t you think it would be funny, if it turned out we’d had it the wrong way round all these years? If I ate all the time, and you hardly ever?’ Crowley discovers that Aziraphale has been strictly and obsessively limiting his food intake for millennia, due to fear of punishment from Heaven if he gets caught eating too regularly. The angel’s confident facade comes apart at the seams after they move to the South Downs, as he struggles to cope with new-found freedom while still keeping his past a secret. With the future of their relationship soon hanging in the balance, Crowley must find a way to convince Aziraphale that he is a safe pair of hands to collapse into – and that they can rebuild things from the ground up.

My Favorite Ghost by cassieoh_draws, DiminishingReturns (T)

Decades after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell got their war — and nearly destroyed everything in the process. When Aziraphale finally manages to reacquire a corporation and return to Earth, he discovers he was gone longer than he thought and the planet has become unrecognizable. As he searches for Crowley and tries to figure out how he fits in a world that Heaven, Hell, and God have all wiped their hands of, nature works around him to reclaim the bones of an old civilization as the scraps of humanity build a new one. A lush and optimistic post-apocalypse story, told from the POV of an immortal who can't let go of the past.

And the one you mentioned...

Angel-Centered Therapy Through A Multicultural Lens: An Integrative Approach by Nnm (G)

“I’d love to meet with you,” Davey said, apologetically, when he had been called up by a fellow looking to initiate therapy, “but I’m all booked up for months.” “Are you sure?” The fellow said, through a poor connection that crackled. Davey had been sure. And yet. Right there in his calendar was a blank spot, just a few days away, which he had somehow completely overlooked before. “How about that…I’ve got Wednesday at eleven, if you can make that work.” “What a miracle,” the fellow said, “that would be just the perfect time.”

- Mod D

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hi darling!~ (I'll immediately stop calling you that if you don't like it/don't feel comfortable lol) Lately your girlies been obsessing over the song 'Older' by Isabel LaRosa that's been going BADSHIT popular on tiktok so I thought I'd spill some thoughts~

Teacher!Vil X Yandere(ish)!Student!Yuu

Summary : Yuu who grew up with a bad father and gained heavy daddy issues gets attached to her teacher after he starts giving her the fatherly love and care she never got, always being nice and checking up on her. at first it's a simple silly crush on her teacher but after time it blooms into an obsession where she starts lusting after him and craves constant validation from him. In her eyes he's the perfect guy, he's older and has more experience, he could never treat her wrong. even though he may be colder from time to time she believes he has a soft spot for her. Poor Yuu when the teacher who she fell so madly inlove with doesn't return her feelings and begins distancing himself from her.... Or will he?..

(Your ending <3)

Surprise me sweetheart ♡

-Prev. 🥀🦋 / Now 🎋🪭

I really like that song, might become my newest obsession... 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Yandere Teacher Vil Schoenheit x Obsessed Student Reader 

Vil definitely has that aura of an unbiased but caring mentor much like Crewel. He’s confident and quaint, praising you in any capacity thrills most who receive it. Granted it’s sprinkled with underlying insults and a general lack of faith. But for someone like you, who can barely get your own father to even look at you it means so much more:

So of course you’ll obsess over him 

Putting him on a pedestal you’re willing to do anything for 

Study and pass his class

Tell on all the naughty potatoes in class

Even framing the professor he’s wanted gone since the beginning

“Well done.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, I’m quite pleased you’ve proven to be more helpful than the other useless potatoes.”

“T-thank you M-Mister Vil!”

He doesn’t stop you or even act like he doesn’t reciprocate

A few light touches

A kiss or two

A nibble of the ear

Your friends warn you  when they realize the love of your life is the degrading teacher of etiquette 

“This isn’t a good idea…(Y/n) he’s like much older than you.”

“So? That just means he has experience!”

“He’s thinking about retirement!”

“Early retirement!”

“Nooo!”

Nothing really stops you from your newfound love 

That is until he crashes the illusion himself 

“Oh~Roi du Poison, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the misguided doe?”

“Please, they’re just a tool I’m sharpening. A potato I’ve decided is worth polishing…for the time being.”

It destroys you

What meaning of life is there if he doesn’t even care about yours

You stop showing up to school

You won’t leave your room

“Where is (L/n)?”

“Pft wouldn’t you like to know!”

“We’re not telling you. You don’t deserve to even speak to them.”

“Fine if that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll give your regards to them.”

“What?!” “Wait!” 

Unbeknownst to you Vil is very much in love with you 

But what did you expect?!

That he’d admit to actually being just as obsessed if not more so than you

He figured the best way to keep you close enough was by taking advantage of your emotional flaw

And while he wasn’t wrong, 

he realized the way it’s been going is all too risky

Nosy obstacles friends of yours, suspicious coworkers, gossiping potatoes

It’s just too risky so he’ll promptly resign putting time and energy into his former hobby

Taking the world by storm he’ll disappear

Giving you the so-called space you want so badly

But he’ll be watching

Watching as you mend yourself together only to fall apart again with every new tragedy

Your grades suspiciously slip

Your house is going to be foreclosed

Your father disappears one evening becoming a missing person’s case

And finally, your dear poor friends suddenly die

Catching some sickness after investigating something they refused to tell you about in  the forest

It’s there, where you’ve graduated and are at your lowest once again that he makes his move

“It’s been a while, (L/n).”

He’ll skew the events that day claiming the doe was someone else or that it was all a cover

And like that, he’ll slither back into your heart with his leash fully keeping you within his grasp

“For all that trouble, (Y/n) you’re irrevocably mine.”

[liulith]

Why Vox’ one-sided psychosexual obsession with Alastor is PERFECT for a #radiostatic QPR

This fanwork is an edited version of a comment I wrote for a fic from the 666: Live on Air! Series by @prince-liest You don’t need to know the fic to understand it, though! Just keep in mind that those are headcanons based on a hypothetical established relationship between Alastor and Vox, in which Vox’s obsession for Alastor has changed flavors from hatred to love, and Alastor doesn’t return his feelings but finds his pathetic obsession entertaining, flattering and somewhat cute. (Also, this doesn’t address the past friendship (?) between them that is being hinted at by the photo in S1 finale, since we have zero context for that at the moment)

Why Vox is Like That

My headcanon is that Vox has always been the type to strive for power and recognition, always reaching for the top of the heap. The problem is that he’s too good at it.

Once he gets into whatever position of power he wanted, he gets bored because what he truly likes is fighting his way to the top. Whatever comes after can be enjoyable but it never compares to the “fight” itself – and thus Vox is always left unsatisfied, setting new goals to become even more powerful because *surely*, that’s what will finally bring him the sense of fulfillment he wants.

(We can kinda see it in his introduction. The man looks bored to tears before Alastor waltzes back into his life and turns him into a manic mess! Here’s a tumblr post about it)

This is precisely why I think Hell gave Vox hypnosis powers: the same reason it gave Alastor the body of a prey animal. It’s torture! With those powers, Vox can get almost anything he wants and he hates it. On Earth, people were a challenge; not everyone can be bought, and he had to rely on his skills.

Sure, he still has those skills in Hell; but in Hell, where every sinner is a potential enemy and the exorcists come down once a year, power is key to his survival and he has to take any victory he can get; meaning, he’ll never be able to *not* use his hypnosis powers, not as long as he wants to survive, even if that makes the fight to the top lose its appeal.

[Insert non-existent tangent on how Val not being affected by the hypnosis – because he’s half blind – is a key factor in Vox’ attraction to him]

Why Vox can’t NOT be obsessed with Alastor:

Alastor is powerful enough to resist his mind-control powers. Alastor can’t be swayed by Vox’ influence, his connections, his power, his money. In short, he’s a challenge. Vox needs to earn his attention, needs to work for it.

Thankfully for him, there *is* something Alastor is interested in: his genuine, unguarded, desperate self: the one that has a full manic episode/mental breakdown when he learns Alastor is back in town. The side of him he always hides under layers and layers of confidence, bravado and corporate talk!

And, deep down, that desperate side of him is exactly why he strives for power so hard in the first place. This man is full of insecurities and he NEEDS to be the biggest fish (shark) in the tank.

This means that Alastor is the embodiment of his deepest fears! He sees through all his bullshit, makes him lose all his composure, and is able to destroy him in EVERY WAY that matters. And yet, he doesn’t. Because, he tolerates (likes) him (in the context of this AU) just as he is, patheticness and all :3  I think there’s something very liberating about that.

Plus, Vox is a simp. He’s a manic sado-masochist who gets off on seeing Alastor humiliated and being humiliated himself, he wants Alastor helpless under his claws, wants Alastor to step on him and tear his heart out if that’s the only way Alastor would touch him, wants to have a cutesy dance-off with and make him laugh until his face hurts.

Oh Vox, we’re really in it now

He’s obsessed with Alastor and wants him in any way he can have him – and I think he’d be ready to give himself over to Alastor in any way Alastor wants to have him as well, because as long as it means Alastor wants something *from him*, it’s worth it. Even if it destroys him.

So, in a context where he has experienced Alastor being on friendly terms with him, where Alastor he has seen Alastor’s genuinely smiling at him and handing him the smallest crumb of affection, there’s just no turning back. Yes, he *could* still get off on seeing Alastor hurt because he’s deranged like that, but he doesn’t want it anymore.

or, well. the vicious, demonic part of him does still want to hurt him, but not exactly for the same reasons as before. It’s more of his caged beast of a heart wanting to make its predator pay for ruining it, in a desperate attempt to reduce his pain (at Alastor’s perceived “indifference”), to force Alastor to SEE him (not that he can. Lol).

BUT! he doesn’t need to do that now! Not when there is so much he would have to give up! So many other emotions, reactions he can get out of Alastor, knowing that HE did that!! To Alastor!! Him!! He cares so, so much. He’s the biggest shark in the tank but Alastor is the water around him. I suck at metaphors.

FML: Alastor edition

Hell turned Alastor into a prey animal because he has always felt like one. I think that at his core, he’s never going to get rid of his instinctual mistrust of others and fear of having any exposed vulnerability turned against him, because it’s part of a defense mechanism he developed since childhood.

He grew in Louisiana as a mixed-race* boy (*it's a bit more complicated than that since "Louisiana Creole" is not a racial designation but let's say Alastor is 100% mixed-race with a POC mom in this context), in an era of widespread lynching and racial segregation, at a time where millions of Black Americans migrated to the North because of the horrible socio-economic conditions of the South. Hell, he was alive during the great Mississippi flood of 1927 – the most destructive river flood of the entire history of the US – and he SAW the government refuse to prioritize the safety of the POC who were 75% of the population (literally; “The refugee camps also dealt with extreme racial inequality, as supplies and means of evacuation after flooding were given strictly to white citizens, with Blacks receiving only leftovers. African Americans also did not receive supplies without providing the name of their white employer or voucher from a white person. In order to fully exploit black labor, Blacks were frequently forced to work against their will, and were not permitted to leave the camps.”)

We don’t know if he was white-passing or visibly mixed, or if his white dad was in the picture, but since he only mentions his mother in canon I’m gonna run with the idea that she raised him alone. He seems to have had a positive relationship with her, which may have impacted his relationships with women in general. However, as a Creole woman, his mom couldn’t guarantee his safety in a society that was rigged against her.

So, he grew up learning the world was out to get him, that no one had his back, and that *performance* was key to his continued safety and survival. By performance, I mean learning how to act around white people to appear non-threatening/avoid being reduced to his ancestry/manage to “pass” well enough. But passing too well would also exclude him from his own community, as mixed people often are.

He also learned that despite his best efforts, no matter how competent he could become, some things would always be unfairly inaccessible to him for reasons outside of his control, and he couldn’t stand for it. The quiet rage, the humiliation, he took out on people by becoming a serial killer: permanently excluding “unworthy” people from society, and consuming them to assert his absolute dominance over them.

FML: Alastor edition. Why he would like Vox:

As the Radio Demon, Alastor has more power than he ever craved in his human life. He’s also vulnerable to the exorcists (Adam), to higher demonic powers (Lucifer, etc.) and was put on a leash by a mysterious character (Lilith? Eve? Roo?).

He’s more desperate for control than ever. It’s not that hard in his daily life, since most people (besides Husk and..? idk) don’t know he made a deal, and he can act like his usual confident self. However, it’s a control that is not unconditional, never absolute nor freely given.

And Vox? He’s hopelessly devoted to Alastor. Alastor has the upper hand on him in terms of raw power, but he also has the absolute psychological and emotional upper hand here. Vox is putting his heart and everything he has on the line in a way Alastor would never do in his worst nightmares. Vox is probably the only person who ever *let* Alastor have this much power over them, and Alastor loves to see it.

This, in turn, makes Alastor more willing to show his more vulnerable side, in a way he would never do if he were also in love with Vox imo. Because Vox is “only Vox” to him, and losing Vox wouldn’t destroy him the way it would if he returned Vox’ feelings, he’s paradoxically more likely to get closer to him. Being in love with Vox would make him too vulnerable and I honestly think that if he became that desperately attached, he would kill him in a fit of panicked narcissistic self-preservatory rage, to prove he’s stronger than this. He’d be too scared to have his feelings taken advantage of, and his brained is wired to kill anything that gets in his way.

Having Vox as a friend, however, is just perfect for him! Just the right amount of closeness and connection that enables him to give him his trust, without fearing he’s being blinded by feelings outside of his control. And knowing that Vox wants him *that* desperately but accepts Alastor’s inability and unwillingness to return this love, and is content to be given anything Alastor allows… Well, that’s heartwarming in its own right, isn’t it?

And THIS is why RadioStatic as a qpr/fucked up friendship with benefits has so much potential, to me! <3

[jester-lover]

I just loved your idea 'Dorm Leaders with a Girlfriend Who Wears Suits', it was so cute, beautiful and wonderful, it would be great to have a sequel. Do you think about continuing? Can I order a sequel please? Please!

Note: I totally understand if you don't want to. Continue to do a wonderful job.

Hi anon! Thank you for your ask! The suit post was my most liked post! I’m very proud of it, and I think it helped me develop my writing style. I’ve been wanting to do a part two recently, so here it is. You didn’t mention what you wanted by saying sequel, and since I personally think the dorm leaders have been already done, I’ll do my favorite group, the first years!!

The First Years with a Girlfriend who wears Suits

Warnings: fluff, stupid gender roles being destroyed, very flustered boys, insecurity (not from the reader), talks of gender roles/identity, whoever reads this is so cool, reader is so hot and confident (did I mention she’s so hot)

Ace Trapolla

Oh wow

No matter how much Ace tends to blab on and on, the moment he sees you for the first time he’s left speechless

He’s never met someone who takes up all the attention of a room in such a short time

Deuce, who’s sorta concerned at this point, pokes him and tells him to stop staring at you

But before his dark haired friend can stop him, ace runs up to you and asks for your number

Congratulations! You now have a little idiot boyfriend who would do anything you tell him to

He’s so obsessed with you his dorm members become a little concerned

Your confidence is so strong, you manage to talk him out of getting into trouble on multiple occasions

He knows your sheer presence captivates the students, so he asks you to be in your best suits for formal events

Pro tip: when you put on your uniform in the morning, ask him to help with your tie. He’ll be super flustered

You managed to make him feel shyer than he’s ever felt, butterflies in his stomach with every smile, slight glance or forehead kiss

He definitely takes you to a formal dance so that you can dip him during the romantic songs

“Y/N, I wonder how you stay so confident, I could never!”

Deuce Spade

I hope you understand that he’s willing to lay down everything for you

You definitely win over his mom, showing up with a bouquet of roses and being ever so polite

He’s so surprised someone so confident and beautiful like you would spend time with a wierdo like him

You quickly quell those feelings, he’s the only guy for you!

You help him fix himself up for special occasions, it always makes him feel special, it makes him feel worthy

Your confidence break’s open a certain floodgate in Deuce, suddenly he’s not as worried about appearing completely and utterly reformed every hour of every day

When he’s alone with you, dress shirts loose and ties loosened, he’s free to be himself

“Today has been so difficult, somehow you make it seem so easy.”

Jack Howl

A confident and strong girlfriend is perfect for Jack

Wolves mate for life, and he is so glad it’s you

You always know how to make him feel special, make him feel like the only guy in the world

His tail is wagging rn

You two tend to scare people together, him being really buff, you looking like a 1940s gangster

He opens up to you quickly, he trusts you more than anything

He definitely gets shy whenever you show up to any sporting event he’s playing in, but he plays better than he ever did

You tend to lead the relationship, often times leading him away to dates, spoiling him with presents

(He’s so househusband material)

“Hey! Don’t look at me like that, you know what you do to me…”

Epel Felmier

He wants to be with you, and he wants to be you

You have a level of courage in whatever you wear, while he’s forced to wear whatever Vil puts on him

Now, perhaps you should use your skills of persuasion to get Vil to allow him more freedom

This boy asks you so many questions

How does he appear masculine without Vil noticing?

How do you pair your ties and socks?

Why does his face get all hot every time you smile at him?

Answer him!!

He finds himself being more comfortable with himself around you, his insecurities of being less masculine go away for a brief second

He can be a man for you, and he doesn’t have to pretend

Epel is most grateful for your advice, a girl like you is hard to find

“I don’t even know where to start! We both radiate manliness right now Y/N!”

Sebek Zigvolt

He immediately deemed you sketchy the first time he saw you

Where you a threat to his Young Master?! He needs to keep a close eye on you!

You keep catching the cute mint haired boy staring at you, so you approach him and ask him why he’s staring

loudly

In front of everyone

He’s outraged! How can you make such a mockery of him? In front of Lilia nonetheless! (Cue Lilia, laughing so hard he’s doubling over)

Taking a pen out of your suit pocket, you scroll your number on his wrist, press a kiss to his cheek and walk away

Now he’s quiet, wondering what just happened

Guess he’s your boyfriend now

He definitely texts you good morning every day, asking what you wish to wear today, just so he can emotionally prepare for the fashion he’s about to see

He’ll never say in out loud, but the 70s era suits are his favorite thing you wear

Emotionally constipated crocodile boy has no clue what to do with himself

This one time he caught you without a suit jacket, your dress shirt untucked, just lounging on one of the shabby ramshackle sofas, you looked absolutely stunning, and he just stood there with his jaw open

“HUMAN! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING THERE!? YOU’RE ABOUT TO MISS MY DUEL WITH SILVER!”

A sequel was never really in the cards tbh, but i read the request and this came to me. If you ever notice how extensively I write for Sebek, it’s because he’s my favorite hehe. Dialogue is my weak point. Thank you for reading!!!❤️

[ruminiscence]

Character Analysis of Johan Liebert - Monster, Naoki Urasawa (2004)

In my opinion, Johan represents Jung's concept of the shadow, which is why both Tenma and Nina couldn't kill him in the end. Despite tirelessly, and relentlessly going after him. If they did end up doing so, they would be destroying themselves in the process. The constant fear on Tenma's face once he heard the buzz words 'monster' and 'inside of me' highlights his underlying fear. It is, of course, aggravating, considering how close they both were to killing Johan (multiple times, might I add). But, to them, it would have come at too high a cost.

Consequently, Johan was not the monster he and everyone thought him to be. The forgiveness Nina offered to Johan (as well as) Tenma’s acceptance (in a way) gave Johan that validation. In my opinion, Johan had an identity problem, not a complete lack thereof, as most people say. Johan completely understood how senseless the world is; the picture book from his childhood made sense of that senselessness. That narrative (mostly born from the book) gave significance to his existence, whether he knew it or not. I found it interesting that he went through several names throughout his life, but ‘Johan Liebert’ was recurring. Whether this is just for convenience's sake, I don’t know.

The scene where we see his reaction when re-reading the book (likely the first time since he was a child) furthers this notion. Johan's facial expressions are to be paid attention to, every single one, even if they barely change. We see the most significant change in his face in the final scene: that of sheer disappointment, hopelessness, and defeat. His master plan did not go accordingly; the plan was for him to be completely wiped off the face of the earth, rendered fictitious. The drunk man who unexpectedly shot him stripped him of that. So did Tenma, in not allowing Johan to kill/destroy his (Tenma’s) altruistic nature.

Johan's perfect suicide ultimately fails because he is not the nameless monster he believed himself to be; this is shown merely in the fact that he does not kill (nor even think about killing) Nina & Tenma; he realised that they are the only two people to understand him in this world. This also explains Johan's bizarre attachment to Tenma from the get-go (which also makes a lot of sense). In the scene where we listen to the tape, we're made aware of Johan's desperation; he does not want to forget 'Anna'; he believes they are the only two people in the world. Later on, Tenma was added to that list. Hence, every other person's life is rendered meaningless to Johan; this is the reason for his remorseless killings, of course. He killed everyone that could eventually be tied into his and Anna/Nina's existence, and arguably Tenma, too.

I also think Johan eventually lets go of this (seemingly) obsession with names in the final scene. Whether the last scene of him and Tenma speaking was a dream or not remains significant. Before Tenma reveals his potential real name to Johan, the subject is changed. This is when we learn about the biological mother's sacrifice. Despite her not choosing to sacrifice Johan, he still doubts the decision. All of this is to say that perhaps the failure of his perfect suicidal plan was, in fact, the real success after all. He successfully kills everyone who does not know him but knows of the nameless monster's existence. This explains why the only two people on this earth who did are still alive and were eventually saved emotionally.

In a way, they also saved Johan too. Hence the *seemingly* peaceful disappearance from the hospital. He just wanted to be understood. This is also why I believe he asked Nina to shoot him as a child and then again all those years later. His mother placed this seed of doubt, which he seemed confident in, but because of Nina's existence, he could extend this and not be entirely solid in this sense of doubt. He latched this on to Nina's being, hence merging their identities. As a child, he did seek her forgiveness despite his contradictory actions (asking to be shot). When she finally offered forgiveness in a similar situation later on, the doubt was gone. That little spec of forgiveness and acceptance was all he needed. Acceptance is not to say that he wanted her or even Tenma to accept his actions; hence, Johan says, 'We can't turn back now' when Nina does forgive him. Other people and their deaths (at his hands) simply did not matter to him; he was utterly indifferent to it. So evidently, that one thing mattered to him, which he mostly did not believe to be real; it turned real, giving him what he had so desperately been looking for since childhood. He is saved. The only three people that mattered in the show (concerning Johan's essence) are saved. 

[pois0ntree]

So, I feel like regardless of how you view astrology, it's still just an incredibly intriguing psuedoscience in general when it comes to interpreting human nature. And I got curious about Johnny and V's signs and their compatability, and too much of it is just TOO ON THE FUCKIN' NOSE. So, here's some of my favorite quotes from the articles I found about it:

For reference- V's canon B-day is October 12th making them a Libra. And Johnnycakes' canon B-day is November 16th making him a Scorpio. (pfffttt so perfect, really)

"With a Libra-Scorpio relationship, watch out for an increased sense of codependency."

"Both Scorpio and Libra act as mirrors for each other."

"Libras are free-spirits who do not like to be chained to anything or anybody, including their partners, so when Scorpios try to control them, things can quickly go awry."

"For Libra, a Scorpio can be quite useful as they provide useful insights into the process of tackling a problem through their systematic approach. However, they can be equally annoying due to their outbursts of emotions which are challenging for a Libra to deal with."

"Libras would need to be careful not to overgive for the sake of keeping the peace, while Scorpios would need to identify when they need to pull back and spend time alone."

It's all so perfect because it reiterates how these two are the epitome of an "opposites attract" or "yin/yang" type of relationship that can be very challenging but also work so extremely well for both partners because their conflicting traits balance each other out; they keep the other's overbearing personality traits in check while also just bringing out the best in one another. V's Libra nature of being very loyal, giving, peace-keeping, and free-spirited conflicts heavily with Johnny's tendency to be very rebellious, selfish, provocative, and opinionated/set in his ways. And their situation w/ the Relic just CATAPULTS the effects of their conflicting yet complimentary dynamic. V's inherent selflessness eventually rubs off on Johnny and teaches him to care more about the people closest to him rather than only caring about his revolutionist ideals in a rather obsessive way. In other words, V grounds Johnny and brings out his humanity, which even HE thought was long gone by the time he died. And on the other hand, Johnny's brash confidence teaches V to be a little more selfish when necessary and fight for themself for a change rather than typically putting other's needs above their own; he shows V the importance of taking action, of always fighting for what you believe in, and never losing sight of who you are.

Their relationship starts off with their personalities and values in complete war with each other's, but in time, they being to embrace their differences and evolve into better versions of themselves by the end because of their profound influence on each other.

Throughout their journey together, Johnny can't help but reflect on his poor choices and empathize more with the people that matter most to him, all because this little merc that now knows him better than anybody still willingly chooses to help him try and make amends with his past despite all of his flaws and mistakes.

Even at the expense of losing themself faster in the process, V still chooses to embrace Johnny and give him a second chance because that's the kind of person they are. And because Johnny also comes to know V better than anybody, he decides to follow in their suit and do whatever he can to prevent V from destroying themself just for him. He gives the merc his dog tags as a promise that it'll be his life for theirs, and by the end, V is faced with an impossible decision to have to make:

give in to their own inherent nature and sacrifice themself for the rockerboy parasite that they've grown to love and now can't imagine having to say goodbye to, or embrace the side of Johnny that urges V to LIVE and never stop fighting- to not let anyone else change who they are, ever again.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Ayo pls do write this if you can, I've yet to see this happen in literally any fic:

MAKE ME CRY MY EYES OUT CATANA

“You stay right behind us, kid,” the villain had said, smirking at their sidekick with full confidence. The end of the world wasn’t supposed to be a personal issue that depended on the villain’s relationships. But apparently it did.

The protection of their sidekick was their priority. For someone so young, they were witty and funny. They were clever and annoying. The villain loved them like their own sibling. Someone who was just as fucked up as them, just as traumatised and hurt. And somewhere there, they could heal each other with jokes and the dream of another future.

It wasn’t like the kid had changed them but…somehow, they had made them a better person.

They’d been so sure. So incredibly sure they were invincible with the hero beside them. Finally fighting together, having each other’s backs — the villain’s and hero’s powers being perfected to a point that let them fight in sync with grace and a simplicity that made them feel oh so secure. It was heaven.

The hero was a reliable ally, a strong one that made the villain wonder how on earth they were enemies. When they fought like this, the villain felt somewhat complete. In combat, they were made for each other and the villain had enjoyed every second of it.

Both protected the villain’s sidekick whenever the situation got out of hand and both shielded each other when it started to look rough.

They’d never felt anything like this before. A connection that made them think they were soulmates. They felt so…strong. Letting them hope they could actually beat this ancient threat.

No wonder the villain had been cocky once the supervillain was their last standing enemy. A snarky comment was all they’d managed as they’d looked around the destruction of the city, ready to kick some ass.

But as it turned out, the supervillain was obsessed with the villain and apparently, they were ready to sacrifice the world to prove it.

In a last sick attempt at controlling the villain, they’d laugh-screamed their demands into the night. They’d destroy themselves and with that, this planet if the villain didn’t kill one of them. Their sidekick or their hero.

Which led them to this. An impossible decision.

“What?” the villain asked. Their voice died somewhere along the word, breaking when they least expected it. A moment ago, everything had been fine. Everything had gone according to their plan.

The supervillain’s expression wasn’t mad. It was calm. Cold. Like a salesman talking about a deal.

“I need you to kill one of them.” The villain’s head whipped around, their gaze boring into their sidekick and then their beloved hero. Both terrified beyond measure, both not sure on what the villain would decide.

Hell, not even the villain knew if they were actually going to decide.

“You’re insane.”

“Your precious hero is your only chance to save this world. And your sidekick? Like a sibling to you. So, what are you choosing? The world that always resented you? Or the family you found?”

“I will kill you,” the villain said, promised it but there was little weight to it. The supervillain could kill all of them easily. But they toyed with the villain, made them decide something like this just to see them suffer.

“Destroys the whole planet,” the supervillain said. “I’ll turn myself in after one of them is dead. Choose.”

“No.”

“I have killed thousands here, millions on other planets. I can kill these two for you, if you want to.”

“No.” The villain looked back at the hero and they realised how much they were panting, how much they were sweating.

“It’s okay,” the hero said. Fucking liar. “You can kill me, it’s alright.”

They took a step forward and the villain took one back, afraid that if they touched them, the hero would wilt. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening.

“I know you can find a way to beat them. You don’t need me for this,” the hero said. “It’s alright.”

“No,” the villain repeated for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Their heart was beating in their throat as panic got a grip on them and squeezed until all their adrenaline was gone.

“Choose,” the supervillain urged them. “You have one minute.”

The villain’s eyes widened and they wanted to sob. No, this couldn’t be real. This was a dream, some nightmare they couldn’t get under control.

The tears came without a command. With a blurred vision, they stared at their sidekick, a 17-year-old.

“I can’t,” the villain said, nearly wheezed the words. “I can’t do this.”

“Come on, show me what you are,” the supervillain said. They leaned back on the throne they had built out of ash and destroyed concrete. “30 seconds.”

“I don’t have a family,” the sidekick said suddenly. “You’ve been the only one in my life that has been kind to me. But so many others do have one. You have to save these people.”

It hurt. It fucking hurt to hear this. To look into the kid’s eyes and see the pain and the fear and yet, they decided to be brave and do a heroic thing.

“Please,” the villain said. They looked back at the supervillain. “Please, I am begging you. Don’t make me do this. I can’t do this. This is…this is madness.”

“Ten seconds.”

Suddenly, the sidekick grabbed their wrist and pulled them towards them.

“Do it. I want it.” The villain shook their head frantically.

“Please—” Everything was blurry.

“For once in your life, be a goddamn hero. I’ll stay with you until it’s over,” the sidekick promised but there were tears in their eyes. A yearning for a long and good life, for a family and a future that was worth something. The villain squeezed their eyes shut but the sidekick wasn’t planning on giving up that easily.

They looked at the shocked hero who was definitely going to sacrifice themselves at any given moment. However, the sidekick was faster.

“Take care of them, will you?” they asked the hero.

And with that, they gave the villain their own dagger, hands closed around the villain’s as the metal broke clothes and skin, opened flesh and gnawed on bone in a cruel, horrible way that woke up the villain from nightmares decades later.

[marshmallowprotection]

Thank you Kait for the previous post! Honestly it baffled me a lot as well when I come across that kind of people. Saeran/MC will never be codependent in my eyes when this phone call literally exists on day 10 of his route. We're not even going through the AE yet. That's right people. He actually knows and learning how to make decision for himself/what he feels right instead of following other people's choices 😩😩

People want to believe what they want to believe, and at the end of the day, I don't want to waste my time or energy trying to convince other people that Saeran/MC isn't what they think it is.

If they don't see the way Ray Route and the RAE is setting up the clear narrative foils between V/Rika and Saeran/MC to show the differences between an unhealthy relationship where two people are obsessed with the idea of the other and run with that and a healthy one between troubled people who're trying their best to make sense of the world together and by themselves, I don't know if they will.

I'm not saying Mystic Messenger does the very best job at explaining many of these themes narratively, but I am saying if you read what's in front of you and think about it, the answers are there and it doesn't hide itself from you. If you're looking, you can see it.

However, I know a lot of people don't understand the complexities that exist between V and Rika, either. I get it, I know why people are fast to hate them for justifiable reasons, but if you don't understand the dynamics of their relationship, you gloss over a huge part of the story when it comes to what the game is exploring with Saeran and MC. I'm not telling people to care about V or Rika when I say that, I am saying that if you want to talk about toxic codependency, then your answer is V/Rika.

Maybe I have an easier time understanding the dynamic between V/Rika because there have been times where I've been like Jihyun, and that uncomfortable mirror has helped me become a better person. I am grateful to Jihyun for that. Someone wrote in my tags yesterday that V and Rika aren't about who is the perfect victim or the perfect abuser, they're two unhealthy people who are trying to cling to each other to cope in the most toxic way imaginable.

Neither of them will ever be wholly innocent as their actions hurt each other other and many of the people around them. Could we argue semantics on who did something "worse?" Yeah, you could argue that up and down because there's layers to the things both Rika and V have done. But the core of their relationship is built on unhealthy codependency. They cling to each other and as long as they do that, they'll continue to burn like a wildfire.

It's not healthy.

Jihyun even acknowledged how unhealthy it was in the RAE for him to shelter Rika. It's that awareness he has that makes me upset with him, because he'll destroy himself to keep his promise, and in doing so, destroys everyone around him because of it. Sometimes, you've got to understand that your dependency on another person isn't the healthiest thing. You have to make boundaries and start working on getting away from that dynamic, or you need to go and straight up leave.

Saeran and MC do not act and react to situations in the Good Ending the same way that Rika and V react and act to situations that they're thrust into. Saeran and MC are partners, they work together, confide in each other and make decisions based on trust. But, what they do is not based on what the other wants.

Your image shows that.

MC: Would you stop working with them if I asked you to stop? Saeran: To tell you the truth, no, I'll continue on. If it was before, I would've done what you told me to do, but, I want to persuade you now.

V and Rika don't communicate like that. V "shelters" Rika from what she has to face even though he knows it's wrong because he feels like that is the only way to prove he is giving 1000% of his life to ensure his mother didn't die for "nothing". Rika leans into the obsession she holds for Jihyun, continuing to view him as a God who will save her from her devil, even though she knows, deep down, he can't save her from her nightmares.

God. They drive me up a wall all the time but they are the ones we need to look at if we're going to talk about characters who have an unhealthy attachment to each other.

[wintergrofyuri]

i had to write down my mithrun ship thoughts. i rlly struggle with my stance on shipping mithrun with anyone, bc like. i genuinely dont believe he's thinking about any of that stuff like. at all. he's so obsessed with the demon and killing it (or finally dying by it) that he barely even eats ykno. i do think he has friends, but like. thats where it ends ykno. like. its pretty vague how having no/little to no desires works rlly and it just further muddles my thoughts on it all. but what we Do know, is that it basically boils down to horrible, awful trauma. the demon is pretty much just an abusive relationship. a magical abusive relationship, but still. someone you thought you could trust, someone you confided in, but really they were just using you for their own gain. and when they're done with you, they leave you lost and empty. it scars you.

to me, mithrun is still too focused on that relationship. his anger and hurt has turned into obsession. he wants to hurt it, kill it, destroy it before it can hurt anyone else. he doesnt see himself as a person anymore. he's a weapon. solely for the purpose of taking down the demon. he cant sleep, he cant eat, his body is nothing but a tool designed to kill the person who made it. like a cyanide pill.

so no i dont really think mithrun would be into anything resembling an actual romantic relationship.

now thats not to say he doesnt care about his friends. hes human, despite how much he's convinced himself hes not. humans need companionship to survive. connections and relationships. i think he has a difficult time realizing he cares tho. or letting himself accept others' care. its all very complicated and messy, especially with the canaries. kabru had to basically take a baseball bat to his skull to get him to stop being an idiot and realize he has things to fucking live for. piece of shit.

so. cithis and lycion arent romantic. milsiril is a weird codependant thing. idk i have trouble putting it into words. and senshi.. he can teach him how to properly hold a knife.. they're perfect for each other. really i think senshi is the best option possible for mithrun. the more i think about it the more im endeared by it.

[crithaus]

I wanna make some things like very clear to the new Vox Machina fans coming from the animated show to our humble home. Really I wanna settle some of the score about my best girl Vex'ahlia.

Now I know, I know that with so incredibly much source material to try and condense into just 36 22 minute episodes naturally some stuff is gonna be cut out or missed or edited, and TLOVM is it's own canon true, but what with it being Vox Machina but abridged it makes sense to me that it can be directly compared and perhaps found a bit lacking in regards to its source material, and so here I go.

They're not treating Vex with total fairness to be honest. A lot of her best early moments in VM are taken out or given to other people in TLOVM, like her first brush with death with Delilah in the Briarwood arc (it was her that got attacked by Delilah and almost died, not Keyleth, but like this one I get ig. The Twins and Percy held like the campaign record for being down and hurt the most like Sam had to deliberately change that so this wasn't hours of the twins just being near death like I'm not happy but I get it), or season two changing how she found Trinket (Vax was nowhere near her when she ran into those poachers) and mainly the portrayal of Vex as this snippy, mean, jealous, callous, unfeeling bitch without any of the uncertainty inherent in her or the tender moments to flesh her out.

Like in VM proper she's rude and a little snippy sure but that's borne of an established backstory of emotional neglect and the crushing trauma of poverty and Vax literally being the only other person who genuinely loved and cared for her after the mother who's arms she was ripped from was burned alive, (y'know after Syldor the worst dad god ever created literally abandoned them with their mother for 10 years while they were dirt poor (but happy, Elaina is the best mom to live ever), dragged them away from her for 5 in which time he destroyed her and Vax's self esteem, let the whole racist ass town he was ambassador of harass them along with harassing them himself and forced them to be the perfect quiet little doll heirs he only decided he wanted after 10 years of no 'true blooded' kids of his own) and then when they ran away, saw their mother had been murdered in her home by a fucking dragon had to spend the next several years at only like 15ish stealing (in Vex's case haggling and hunting) to survive! Like Vex's hangups around money are from the period in her life where she as controller of her and Vax's meager finances was in charge of making sure they didn't starve to death in the woods somewhere, at 15 she and Vax had to keep themselves alive with no help from anyone but each other, her haggling any and everyone down is a direct response to that.

And oh boy Syldor? Syldor? And his bullshit expectations and neglect are the reason she's so chronically unsure of herself and so desperate to keep being Vax's favorite. You think Keyleth is unsure of herself? Buddy you have seen nothing. Vex's confidence in herself is a facade and literally the longer you know her the more obvious that becomes. She's so slow to let other people in and equally slow to trust cuz she's been hurt so brutally and the few times she relaxes enough to do something for herself (side eyeing the broom incident), she gets narratively punished for it! Bro, the night before meeting with Syldor Percy finds her in tears obsessively polishing her armor cuz she's so desperate even after all this time to prove to Syldor that she is someone, that she isn't the diluted little half-breed Syldor always looked down his nose at (and then Percy, who never again was fooled by her false airs and stepped up to do The Sweetest thing god ever created), like...she's fucked up! And lonely! And wants nothing more than a stable home and people who genuinely like her.

Them leaving their home in when the conclave first attacked Emon drove her to tears because it was the first home she'd had in so long and now they had to leave it. She's got so much depth and she is so endlessly kind too. Every time she sees someone whose circumstances mirror her own she doesn't hesitate to open her purse for it. (her freeing those kids??? Anyone???) She's no Keyleth or even Pike to be sure but she's so sweet. Keyleth goes tearing off up the Sun Tree, Vex follows. Grog gets swindled by some punkass merchant? Vex goes tearing off after him, all her interactions with Vax to be honest she might have Little Sister disease but still, she is so endlessly kind and good and it's not as overt as Pike's genuine goodness or Keyleth's earnestness, it's slightly more subtle but always present. She's the beating heart of Vox Machina, she encourages them all, (just look at what they tell Pelor I mean.... And and I could go on and on about how the fact that she's the champion of the god of Life, Light and the Sun means so much narratively but I mean I doubt I need to I mean it's Pelor), They all look to her and Vax for guidance, look at what they do to fucking Saundor for him merely taunting her, (yes it's more deep than that I know), they literally get stuck in hell and wait there, in the middle of HELL for her cuz they can't/won't move on without her.

She's brilliant, and clever, and broken and 'greedy' and a bitch yes true, but she's so much more than that, and I'm not even gonna tell you to watch the podcast cuz fuck Orion tbh and y'know I am a hater and a gatekeeper both and am totally fine being in the little niche of of vox machina likers, but if you want substance, if you want all of her because god is she compelling, then take your cues from the podcast and not the show.

The show is new, and still ongoing, and I hope they start letting her shine as she was always meant too in later episodes, but she is the heart and soul of Vox Machina and y'all better put some respect on the name of Lady Vex'ahlia De Rolo, Champion of Pelor, Baroness of the First House of Whitestone and Grandmistress of the Grey Hunt, Coinmistress and Treasurer of the Tal'dorei Council.

[kavehnanginto]

encounter

07: yes or yes!

"You are a lost cause in the case of logic and Mathematics," he sighed as you stood there thinking about how disappointed he looks at you. It was a normal sight for you now. "Actually I wanted to discuss about something to you, I was about to talk about this in our next tutor session however in this environment, it is absolutely perfect to talk about."

What?

The moment was disrupted by a single phone call and now you were left all alone. Damn.

"Kaveh, yes I haven't eaten them. Yes they are fully clothed. Mhm they are indeed not being a 'bitch in heat' or whatever you say..."

Angry murmurs can be heard on the other side of the phone and you can only expect that Alhaitham's ears are starting to bleed. But what can you really do when you don't even know what Kaveh is talking about?

They were bickering for a while and you were starting to get sleepy. But holding tight to your subconscious you overheard something.

"Yes we are, what did you say again? Dating? Yeah we are doing that right now mhm..."

I'm fucking screwed...

Books fell out of order when you grabbed his expensive phone, not caring if it breaks atleast your dignity will be saved. Scaramouche is gonna absolutely destroy you and bully you for years because of this.

"Hello... Kaveh. What Alhaitham said was..."

"The truth." He was relieved to see his phone still in one piece when he grabbed it from you. "Now go off and do some chit chat with Faruzan or something."

As he placed the phone on the floor he then went ahead and opened the lights. For an hour now you had to read using scented candles.

"All this time there was light? How did you even have access here?"

"I own this place." He casually mumbled and finally sat on his chair, the very same one he used when we first tutored. "Now where was I?"

"Did you just forget that you told Kaveh we were dating?"

"What's wrong with that?" His eyes were on you and even as you looked at every other thing in the room his eyes stayed frozen.

"Do you even know what date means?"

His eyebrows furrowed by such confidence regarding intelligence and knowledge of spelling for someone who can't even spell tyranosaurose rex.

"I might expect this question from someone like Faruzan or your friend with smoky eyeshadow and a mess of a haircut but not someone as dumb as you. Of course I know what dating means."

You sighed in relief and then thought out loud.

"Wait why the fuck would you say that to your blond chick then?"

"Because we are, atleast they think we are."

And finally you remember the warning and advice that Scaramouche gave you, and how he was indeed correct. Again. You had to use it now or else you're screwed. How can you have a chance eating a piece of ass from those hotties in Liyue when you are dating the loner that nobody likes... and everyone is obsessed with for some reason?

"And just about now that stupid gossip account will update..."

You heard your phone ring the next second.

He wanted to play that game, huh.

"Can you call Kaveh and say what you said was absolutely insane and... bullshit and not true?!"

"Oh just deal with it, I haven't told you why I even said that—"

"Atleast what I'll be saying is true..." you grabbed your phone and was about to type something. "Cal him back again or else..."

"You'll tell them what happened in Mondstadt?"

He again grabbed your phone and gently placed it on the floor, his steps were as calm as ever.

YOU WANTED YOUR SECOND YEAR OF COLLEGE TO BE BETTER THAN THIS. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THAT?

"Let's see who will be more likely to suffer between the both of us." He sighed and wanted you to think rationally. "I may have not minded Kaveh's reputation of being my whore, but not you."

He pulled out his book and made you sat down next to him. If you had a knife that moment you don't know who you would rather kill first.

"I need you for something you see."

encounter: prev. masterlist. next.

alhaitham x reader smau

synopsis: after alhaitham accepted to tutor his token dumb classmate, the whole school started rumors and gossip to the unknown reason as to why while you were stuck dealing with him after that embarrassing encounter.

taglist: @annathea-annoona @aixaingela @mimimimiaphwsgi @no3hg3nshin @winterpein @crowbird @aloversoath @liminalimmortal @mochicurls21

note: are you enjoying this or something please i need reassurance

[katwatcheskny]

Preferences about being friends with Rengoku and giyu. Thank you💕

being friends with rengoku and tomioka

type: preference

pronouns: you/your/yourself

characters: rengoku, tomioka

a/n: i made these ridiculously long because i got over excited to get a request, so these preferences are very detailed. the requests on this blog are still opened, and if you like bnha check out my main blog @katimagines, where requests are also open. enjoy~

KYOJURO RENGOKU

You met Kyojuro before he became a hashira. The two of you were part of a larger group sent to deal with two dangerous demons that had been terrorizing a village, and so fifteen kanoes to handle them.

Despite not being a hashira yet, Kyojuro was an assured and charismatic person who interacted with others easily, and was turned to as a natural leader by the frightened teens who lacked a proper leader.

You were one of these frightened kanaos, feeling in over your head.

You tried your best to hide your hesitation, not wanting to be the one who freaks out and destroys morale before you even arrive at your location. But Rengoku notices the way your hand shakes on your hilt.

“You should steady your hand. Have more confidence in yourself. You advanced to kanoe, you should hold your head higher!”

You just looked at him, very confused by this odd guy and his surprisingly upbeat attitude and complete lack of volume control. At the same time, there was something comforting about him despite his oddities. 

“Thank you, i’ll do my best,” and steadied your shaking hand.

The mission goes about as expected for any mission at your level. A third of the kanoes are slaughtered by the demons when you first arrive, three more are killed in combat, and one bled out afterwards. Kyojuro manages to take the head of one demon, and you take the head of the other.

However, you collapse in exhaustion after you watch the demon finally dissolve into ash. Kyojuro runs to your side and holds you on his lap.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, checking for any excessive bleeding. You manage to mumble that you’re fine. “What is your name? I forgot to ask.”

You would almost laugh if your chest didn’t hurt so much.

When you wake up after recovering from  your injuries, you find Kyojuro just kinda hanging around even though he was barely injured.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Being friends with Kyojuro is very easy.

He is a very open and friendly person, who enjoys having companionship and manages to attract people to him like a moth to the flame.

Kyojuro is always excited to see you whenever you are assigned missions together, even after he overtakes you in rank. He never stops treating you that same way he did on your first mission as equals.

One day, you guys have a free morning and you decide to spend the day together. Kyojuro has the perfect idea for how to spend the day!

You weren’t sure what to expect and it definitely wasn’t watching sumo wrestling. Not that you were complaining, it was actually pretty fun.

Kyojuro enjoys sharing meals with friends, although he doesn’t understand why others often decline his invitation (it’s because of the screaming, but never change kyo, you’re perfect).

When you asked him why he was always screaming “UMAI” during meals, he explained how he just wanted to show his appreciation for every meal and encouraged you to try the same.

It was very embarrassing to scream “umai” in a crowded restaurant, but after the first few bites, it was actually kinda fun.

If you have a pet, Kyojuro is obsessed.

Doesn’t matter what the pet is. Dog, cat, bird, snake, even a pig.  Kyojuro loves animals so much. He always wanted a pet growing up, but his father hated animals and so he was forbidden to have one.

Sometimes you wonder if Kyojuro likes spending time with you or if he’s just interested in hanging out with your pet. Why can’t it be both?

He is a constant hype man.

You cannot voice any self-doubt in this man’s presence unless you want a passionate speech. Kyojuro doesn’t believe that people are perfect, but he does think that everyone has value, and he sees yours.

Kyojuro tells you about Senjuro all the time, because he loves his little brother, and he decides to introduce you two one day.

You two happened to be near Kyojuro’s hometown and he invited you to come to the Rengoku residence for some training and a meal. You weren’t gonna pass on a free room and board.

Senjuro is the sweetest and you two get along great after introductions are made. Kyojuro really wants the two of you to be friends as well.

Shinjuro does not make a great first impression.

Luckily for you, he was passed out drunk for pretty much your entire visit except for when he woke up to scream at Kyojuro to get him more sake.

Being friends with Kyojuro is great and easy. Training with him, however, is the exact opposite. This man is insane. You cannot keep up or meet the insane standards he creates for himself. You will die in the process.

If you ask him to tone it down, he will but not by much.

Kyojuro is an endlessly enjoyable presence in your life. He is always pushing for you to become a better person and support you through anything.

GIYU TOMIOKA

You met Giyu after he already became the Water Hashira. Oyakata-sama thought that Giyu might need some extra hands on a mission he assigned to him, considering he had no tsuguko of his own. 

It was a great honor to serve alongside a hashira, so you were honored to be considered worthy of work with someone as distinguished as the Water Hashira himself. You definitely had a small case of hero worship.

The first time you met Giyu face to face before you left for your mission, your first impression was less than stellar.

After you were dismissed by Oyakata-sama, Giyu didn’t even look you in the face “we should leave before sunset.” And then he just walked away.

I mean, you understood that as a hashira he would prioritize the mission before pleasantries, but you at least expected him to introduce himself or even ask you what your name is. And the lack of eye contact and just walking away like that was incredibly rude! 

Who does he think he is!

You followed of course, and obeyed his every order as his subordinate, because you were professional and took your duties seriously as a demon slayer. But your opinion of Giyu did not improve at all.

When you finally faced the demon, it went for your face before you could react and it nearly tore your face before you were suddenly no longer facing the terrible creature. You were shocked before you realized that you were saved by Giyu, who turned to finish slaying the demon.

After the demon had been beheaded, you approached Giyu to thank him. Giyu shook his head, “you shouldn't thank me. I was too slow.” He motioned to the bloodied scratch on your cheek.

“You saved my life, that matters more than some scratch,” you argued, “so, you are entirely deserving of my thanks.”

Giyu continued to refuse your thanks. Until the following day when you offered to treat him to lunch before you would need to go your separate ways. “Anything you want, just name it and it’s on me,” you offered.

His typically stoic eyes perked up slightly. “Anything? Even simmered salmon with daikon?” You were confused over his uncharacteristic enthusiasm at a very typical dish, but it seemed to be a step in the right direction, so you nodded and you swore you saw a hint of a smile.

The two of you found a restaurant that served his favorite meal and shared a fairly pleasant meal. The conversation started off quite stilted, and you needed to do a lot of the heavy lifting, but Giyu was a surprisingly good listener and seemed to enjoy talking with you.

Your opinion of the Water Hashira vastly improved after that.

After that mission your friendship began to grow slowly over time. Oyakata-sama continued to assign you to missions with Giyu because of how well the two of you cooperated with one another. You even learned that Giyu expressed to Oyakata-sama his opinion of you.

“They talked to me often.”

And you continued to talk with him more and more often. Most of the time your conversations are focused on the mission, but occasionally you will get to talk about more personal matters.

Giyu is really trying to be better at conversing. The first time he initiated a personal conversation, he just said, “the sky is very blue today.”

He will often try to bring up old conversations to make sure you know that he remembered what you said. One day you mentioned that your mother had been ill, and a month later he asked if she was better.

Most of the time you two spend together is lunchtime meals when there are no demons to be slaying. That is the most pleasant time you two can spend together, where you almost appear to be normal people.

When the sunsets though, all personal matters disappear.

After a couple of months you think that maybe you and Giyu have reached some sort of friendship. Maybe. Sort of.

To Giyu, you’re his best friend.

You talk very nicely to him and buy him his favorite meal.

He’s a quiet and reserved person by nature, but having you around manages to make him come out of his shell somewhat that it’s relatively unnoticeable to most people, but impressive to people who know him.

Particularly to Shinobu, who is very curious about Giyu’s new friend.

“Ara, ara, Tomioka-san, tell me something about (L/N)-san. How did you two become friends?” she kept asking him, but he refused to respond. Shinobu spent the most time with him out of all the hashira, but she never managed to get that friendly with him. What’s your secret?

Of course, Shinobu tells the other hashira, which is very embarrassing for him when they all act so shocked that he would have a friend. 

Urokodaki is glad to hear of Giyu’s friend when he writes often of a (Y/N) who has been accompanying him on missions recently. He remembers how happy Giyu had been with his childhood friend, so he hoped that he would find new happiness with a new companion.

[rivetgoth]

Was tagged by @surgicalpen1sklinik to list my 9 current favorite albums ✨ Tough one to define but here goes… I guess gonna list 9 albums I’ve been spending tons of time with lately:

Talk About the Weather — Red Lorry Yellow Lorry (1985): Was recently reminded of the moment I had with these guys years ago when I was first diving deeper into post punk and I hadn’t really revisited them since. This album is just so good. Such an underrated goth classic.

Burning Bridges — Naked Eyes (1983): Another underrated classic, synthpop this time! Just such solid fun 80s pop, some huge hits on this album but some of the lesser known tracks are suuuuch gems.

The Wall — Pink Floyd (1979): After watching the film adaptation I’ve been kind of obsessed ngl. Whole album is fantastic (duh) but the last like 10 songs in particular just absolutely blow my mind honestly. I’ve had “In the Flesh” stuck in my head for like a week.

Technophelia — Geneva Jacuzzi (2016): After seeing her live recently I’ve just been so enamored by her, this album in particular is just so so so fantastic. A sound I’ve been missing honestly. I said it in the tags of a post recently but she’s giving such a perfect blend of Severed Heads Siouxsie Sioux realness, it’s to die for.

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars — David Bowie (1972): The Wall had me thinking about other concept albums I’ve loved so I’ve also been revisiting this one; I had a massive Bowie phase in high school lol. It’s obviously a cold take to say this album is great but tbh I’ll confidently call “Moonage Daydream” one of my absolute favorite songs of all time. It’s so special to me.

The Correct Use of Soap — Magazine (1980): And speaking of favorites of all time, goddamn I love Magazine. I love all Magazine, but I’ve been vibing really hard with this album recently for whatever reason. Howard Devoto is one of my favorite lyricists of all time too.

RAT WARS — HEALTH (2023): Another band I saw recently that just destroyed me, they’ve put on such an insanely good live show both times I’ve seen them now so of course I’ve been listening through their most recent album (and more!) a bunch over the last couple of weeks.

Last Rights — Skinny Puppy (1992): And back to the concept album theme; is it a hot take to call Last Rights a concept album? To me it’s the greatest concept album of all time. I could write a novel on this one so I’ll just leave it at that. Love love love love love.

Idols — Indradevi (2018): It blows my fucking mind that Indradevi is so slept on. Genuinely abysmal that they only have FORTY-ONE monthly Spotify listeners. One of my all time favorite bands, Matthew Setzer’s Cambodian pop / drum and bass / dark electronic fusion side project. Please listen to Indradevi.

Obviously you don’t have to do this if you don’t want, but I’ll tag @lysistra @omegaversereloaded @captainspaulding @otisbdriftwood @euthaniized @blackchantilly @maldoror-est-mort @testure-1988 @ourladyofomega @theonlycure @baltowolfquest and anyone else who wants to do it! Tag me so I can see your list if you choose to!! :D

[misseviehyde]

BAD-BARGAIN

This is a tribute story to one of my favourite artists and online friends. Ashley Hacksaw whose OC Vivian is a sexy slime Goddess. Please check out her work at @hacsaw8 on Twitter. Vivian is her character and I have posted this with her permission.

Billy cowered and whimpered as he listened to his bully Josh tearing up and down the corridor outside the computer room looking for him.

"You can't hide for long nerd, my mates have the exits blocked. I'm gonna tear your fucking head off when I find you. Come out!"

Hiding behind a row of computers, his palms sweaty and his heart pounding, the computer nerd had no intention of complying. Billy was small and weak, Josh powerful and strong. The muscled quarterback was the biggest bully at school and had put people who crossed him into hospital, so perhaps hacking into his social media accounts and sending nudes of Josh's huge cock to every girl at school (including the female teachers) to get him into trouble hadn't been such a good idea.

No one had known it was him of course, but Billy hadn't been able to resist the temptation to brag about what he'd done and now the whole school knew after someone had blabbed. It didn't matter really who had got him in the shit, as soon as he told one person it was inevitable the secret would get out.

And now he was dead.

There was no way out of the computer room and this section of the school. The exits were blocked and Josh would find him soon. What was he going to do?

Hahahahahah!

An amused female voice, sexy and confident with a mischievous and slightly malicious catch to it was laughing near his head. He nearly jumped out of his skin until he realised it was coming from one of the computer monitors.

"What the hell?" he gasped as he lifted his head a little to look at the screen.

A strange... creature... was looking out of the screen with a toothy white grin, breaking the fourth wall and regarding him with big hypnotic eyes. She was clearly female... VERY DEFINITELY female, with curves in all the right places and huge round breasts. Her body was entirely black and her skin looked strangely latexy, as if it could stretch and flow at will. Magnificent red hair cascaded down from her head, flickering and flowing like it was alive like the flames of a fire. Pointed ears swept back from a beautiful perfect face, with full firm lips and the cheekbones of a Goddess. She tapped her face thoughtfully with long sensuous nails... or were they claws?

Hello Billy. I'm Vivian.

Billy backed away, terrified beyond his wits. Was this some prank? An AI accidentally left loaded on the computer, or just some youtube video left open? But no... it.... SHE... had spoken to him. It seemed like her voice was being projected directly into his head. Like she was rooting through his mind.

Oh dear Billy. You're really in the shit aren't you? I like to flow and surf through the web looking for fun and I was drawn by the drama of this situation. You're a weak, pathetic little boy about to be destroyed by a strong powerful Alpha. I really don't see any hope for you and I thought it would be fun to watch. I can really cum hard to something like this.

"This... this isn't real. I'm having a fucking mental breakdown," whimpered Billy - his troubles with Josh forgotten. "What the fuck are you?"

Ohhhh, I'm lots of things. A void creature from another dimension, an all powerful slime Goddess, a sex obsessed little slutty bitch - I'm so fucking much that reality struggles to contain my power. I have to spend most of my time existing here, though I like to pop into reality from time to time. This situation is kinda intriguing. How about I pop through now and say hi.

Billy's head felt fuzzy and he thought he was going to faint as the screen began to bulge. Then with a pop, a sexy head with a crown of dark flames and long red hair pushed through. Moaning and grunting, using her clawed hands to drag herself forward - Vivian pulled herself out of the screen with a hot wet gloop. Her body slid out till with a plop she landed on the floor in front of Billy. She smelled delicious and being near her, Billy felt a strange dusky pheromone rising from her body that made him unbearably horny. Her body... her skin... her hair. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to feel that body.... to know what it was like.

Vivian was tiny, she stood at full head height with her lips at his crotch. For some reason that made his dick twitch hard and the thought of what she could do from that position made him groan with lust. He noticed now for the first time that her hair was so long and thick it was like a tail. It swished behind her like a cat. He wondered how it would feel to grab onto it, to use it to pound her harder. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Her hypnotic eyes held his gaze and she tossed her amazing hair sexily with another wicked grin.

"Like what you see? Unfortunately for you, my scent drives losers like you wild. You're already falling under my control. You see... I can't manifest long in real life without a host. I need someone inside me... I need someone to BECOME me. So I wanna make you a bargain. Get inside me Billy. Become me and I'll protect you from that nasty bully."

As if summoned by her words, Billy heard Josh laugh in triumph from outside. "There's only one place you can be loser, I'm on my way to the computer room."

Jumping up onto the computer bench Vivian spread her legs wide and giggled. Between her wicked thighs Billy could now see a tight slit, a hot wet pussy that was already dripping with lust.

"Fuck your way inside me Billy... get your dick inside my slot and let me flow all over you. Thrust and fuck your way into Goddess until YOU ARE me."

Vivian's obscene scent was blotting out all thought. Her body seemed to ooze power and the thought of mounting her, pushing into her, becoming her was getting too hot to resist. As Vivian he would be unstoppable and safe from the pathetic bully. By allowing her to possess him, Billy would never be weak again.

"Yesssssss," he hissed eagerly as Vivian grinned happily.

"Oh I love it when guys get horny to become me. Hurry up and get inside, I wanna feel you inside me."

Dropping his pants, his cock hard Billy advanced. Vivian eagerly slid forward to meet his cock, moaning as he pushed into her for the first time. "Yessss that's it baby, TAKE ME!"

"Oh my GOD!" screamed Billy. He was a virgin and had never fucked a pussy, so not only was Vivian his first but he had never felt anything so good. Her legs wrapped round his waist, dragging him in even deeper as her hungry pussy seemed to suck and pump him in with every thrust.

"Give yourself to me Billy," hissed Vivan. "Become my boy-host."

"Ohhh my God, I want to become you so badly, take me!" groaned Billy as Vivian's grin nearly split her face and with a laugh she began to melt and ooze all over Billy. Vivian turned to sticky black goo, Billy melting inside and it closing up around him as he jerked and pumped with desperate thrusts.

His cock began to erupt, sperm blasting out everywhere as Vivian absorbed him inside her body, her hair coiling around his head and rooting into his scalp. He felt her claws spring from his fingers, her breasts greedily suck onto his chest. Her face closed over his and he gave her his soul, becoming a willing passenger in his own body as Vivian took full control.

Vivian giggled, her red hair moving as if it had a mind of it's own. She was bigger now - temporarily human sized now she was on a host, and her breasts were even bigger. With Billy inside her, she no longer needed to concentrate on holding her form and now all her powers were at her disposal.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

Vivian raised an eyebrow and laughed as she saw that Josh had finally found her. He had stormed halfway into the room expecting to see Billy, but now as his eyes drank in the monstrous, yet alluring creature in front of him - it was clear he didn't know what to do.

"Hello baby," laughed the slime Goddess. Raising her arms, she levitated slightly into the air and floated across the room towards Joshua... his mouth dropping open as he beheld her true power.

"Wh... what the hell are you?" he gasped in confusion.

"Call me Vivian. That little nerd you want to destroy is inside me, so unfortunately you can't touch him anymore. What he doesn't realise though is that I LOVE a mean bully Alpha. I want you to fuck me Josh. His tiny dick barely satisfied me, but I know you have more to give me."

Josh groaned, Vivian's proximity making him horny and unable to resist. This creature was like no woman he had ever known before, yet somehow she was the sexiest and most wicked creature he had ever beheld. She was making him horny in ways a mortal woman never had.

"My pussy is tighter... my body better than any bitch you've ever fucked baby. I can make you cum so hard you'll be pumping cum into me until your balls run dry. And best of all - all that cum will be going into Billy as well. Just think of him - deep inside me, absorbed but still conscious of every feeling. Helpless to stop you breeding me with your Alpha bully cum until he is addicted to the taste."

Sinking to her knees, her hair whipping out and dragging down Josh's pants, Vivian opened her mouth and slid her thick wet lips around his cock.

Glug, glug, glug.

Joshua moaned as Vivian's sucking mouth slurped and worked up and down his throbbing cock. She didn't appear to need to breathe, so the suction was constant and perfect. Her claws played with his balls, tickling them as her perfect goo like body sent shivers of pleasure into him.

Josh gasped - he'd never had a blowjob this intense, this perfect before. It was like being sucked off by a greedy hoover desperate for cum. It was too much, and with a heaving groan he began to cum.

Vivian moaned happily, gulping down thick loads of hot white cum. Deep inside her, Billy groaned as it flowed into him - his own bullies semen flowing into his stomach.

"Mmmmmh more," she gasped pulling her head off his cock and laying back. Her hair whipped out and dragged Josh in and he groaned as his massive cock slid effortlessly inside her pussy. He had only just cum, but the feelings were so intense and so good that in moments he was horny again.

"Yessss fuck me Joshua," groaned Vivian. "You're such a fucking stud, so much better than Billy. Pump more cum inside me. Pump it in my pussy, my ass - cream me so he's drowning in your semen."

Joshua was only too happy to obey. He groaned as he erupted again, and Vivian screamed in happiness as cum blasted deep inside her and within her perfect body Billy was pumped full of more and more.

"I can't believe I ever considered using Billy as my host," laughed Vivian as Joshua remained buried in her pussy - her legs wrapped round his waist. "It's time to upgrade. Become me Joshua. You know you want this body. Take me from Billy."

Joshua wanted it. He wanted Vivian's body, her power for himself. "Yes bitch, give me your fucking body. Make me into you!"

"Yes Joshua, take it - I'm yours!" screamed Vivian and he began to pound and thrust into her. Each sucking pump of his huge cock now caused Vivian's body to flow and melt, sucking backwards and over his skin.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Billy as Vivian was ripped off him by his bully. Joshua laughed triumphantly as Vivian flowed all over him - her oozing black slime eagerly attaching to his superior body.

Standing up, the last of Vivian merging with her new host - the slime Queen looked down at her body with glee. Joshua's huge cock still jutted from her crotch. His muscled body meant that she was now over six feet in height and muscled and toned.

She looked down at Billy whimpering below her. He had cum oozing out of his mouth, his ass - it was all over his face and in his hair.

"Look at how pathetic you are Billy," she giggled. "Did I forget to warn you - I'm really bad at sticking to bargains. I just take what I want when I want it. Merged with Joshua, now I'm even more powerful and he LOVES being me."

Grabbing Billy's hair she dragged him up. "Thanks to your little stint inside me, you're now addicted to Joshua's cum. But don't worry, I can give you plenty more."

Moaning and grinning with her wicked toothy smile, Vivan gasped as she slid her huge cock into Billy's eager mouth and he began to suck.

"Good boy, you're my personal cumslut from now on."

Vivian felt herself relax nicely as Billy sucked her off. She was going to enjoy manifesting in this town. She'd spend a few weeks here corrupting and fucking everyone she pleased - then perhaps she'd leave and dive back into the net.

Afterall - there was always another loser looking to make a bad bargain with her.

THE END