#i wish i could go back and show my 15 year old self this show just after they finished the book

[gaygraviturgist]

puts the bit where crowley tempts aziraphale to eat for the first time in the "scenes that are actually about gay sex" folder along with ed and stede's sword fight

[inlovewithl3vi]

I was thinking about my past self, specifically me in my second year of high school and I would often not want to go home because my parents would argue 24/7. So here are some thoughts about a teen!MC and having Solomon as their savior, because at that time I was wishing someone from obey me could come and save me.

When you and Solomon went back to the human world you were dreading it far more than you were expecting. Everything had been sorted out with your parents, and they had been forced into thinking they sent you to a boarding school.

Eventually the day came and you said your tearful goodbyes as you left your odd new family for the first time. Solomon had kindly offered to walk you home, especially since he didn’t want a teenager to have to find their way home all alone.

He dropped you off and had pretended not to notice how your face twisted with discomfort when you stepped through your front door.

For the next week or so Solomon made it a habit to pick you up from your house to show you little spots were magic was used in the human realm. You enjoyed every minute of it, being able to see other sorcerers and witches. Of course you missed the brothers too, but you were allowed to keep your DDD so it wasn’t so bad since it only took one press of a button to be able to hear there voice.

All good things must come to an end though. Eventually your parents started to do the exact same thing they always did. Loud screaming could be heard from outside your room as you quickly typed out a message to Solomon.

-I can’t go out today, sorry.

You threw your phone down and plugged your headphones into your laptop, ready to blast music to drown out the noise.

Of course Solomon thought it was weird that you didn’t want to go with him, he saw the way your eyes would light up at the sight of humans using magic. Or when you learned a new simple spell. But he didn’t want to press and overstep a boundary.

Until you kept blowing him off, not even responding to texts some days. Obviously he grew worried. He ended up texting Asmo to see if anyone in the devildom had heard from you. And when nobody had he immediately started walking towards your house.

He could hear your parents screaming from outside and immediately knew what the problem was. He made his way over to your bedroom window and lifted himself up to knock. You were startled to see Solomon standing at your window, how was he able to get up there anyway?

Eventually with some questioning you let him in and started to pack a bag. Finally you were able to get away, Solomon had offered to let you stay with him for a while.

When you got there he already had a room set up for you. You knew you wouldn’t need to go back anymore. You knew that this was your new home, where you belong.

I know this probably seems a little weird to some people, but this is for my 15 year old self who had just started playing obey me and so desperately wanted to get out of my house and live with Solomon in the human realm or with the brothers in the devildom. Sometimes I wish I could tell her things aren’t so bad anymore.

[pakhnokh]

AkuRoku <3

I was working on a comic when some old school music started playing on my playlist and suddenly I got 2008 vibes, when I was 15, and just discovered shonen ai/yaoi, and Axel and Roxas were my first mlm ship! :')

How I wish I could go back in time 16 years back and show this to my younger self who lurked on DeviantArt drooling over the AMAZING ORGXIII art I saw there telling myself I could never reach their level and see how she (I?) would react haha

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 15 . Limelight

a/n: ngl I'm starting to hate this, it's just that my writing style doesn't seem fitting for a series. maybe next time I'll stick to one-shots lol

also I'm so so sorry for the late update. I'm so busy I haven't slept for like a week now. However, I found some free time to write huhu.

tags: injuries, blood (it's cale what did you expect), self-doubt, war

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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_____’s time in Vegas City had been relaxing. There’s no way it wouldn’t be when everyone, mainly Cale, made sure it was. And the healer is grateful to all of them. It gave them time to think and lament over the devastating news they had received.

In turn of that kindness and space, _____ made sure to recover after they left the Caro Kingdom. It wasn’t easy, all they wanted to do was lay on the bed all day and cry. Getting energy for the slightest task, even eating, was so hard. But they still pushed themself, because war was approaching.

The battlefield is calling and its first target is their new home.

So the healer pulled themselves by their bootstraps. Even as everyone tried to assure them that it was fine to not be okay they still spared no effort to recover from their depression and be back to normal.

“Basen-nim will handle communications. The Count and Countess will be on the battlefield. Lily-nim is too young.”

Currently, Cale and _____ are having a disagreement.

“That doesn’t mean you’re the only option left. The Henituse have a lot of retainers and people we can use.”

“But can you really go all out if it isn’t one of your direct people guiding the citizens?”

Cale could only furrow his eyebrows at that retaliation. The two are currently disagreeing whether or not _____ should be in charge of leading and guiding the citizens once the Paerun Kingdom attacks. 

Silence lingered for a few seconds. Cale knows that _____ is right. Especially after that northeastern nobles meeting… Cale can only have peace of mind if the one in charge of the citizens is someone he knows. Someone he trusts

_____ reached out towards the redhead, holding his hand to show their resolve.

“Cale, I’ll be fine.”

The healer can feel Cale squeeze their hand back.

“Fine…”

Cale pauses for a moment and _____ thinks they are nearing the end of the discussion.

“But let Raon cast magic on you for disguise.”

Apparently _____ thought wrong.

No way are they allowing the young dragon to cast and maintain magic on them when they need his mana to maintain the barrier. It would also be dangerous to ask another mage for a disguise when there’s always the possibility of their enemies bringing mana disturbance tools.

“Cale you know we can’t do that.”

“Yes, that’s why you better just stay inside the castle walls or beside me and Raon.”

“I can’t do that either. I promise I’ll be safe, plus I’ll be wearing my hood and mask. There’s no way anyone would recognise me.”

Cale sighed as he used his free hand to push his hair back. 

Honestly, everyone listening in (the kids averaging 8 years old) doesn’t know why the young master is fighting this losing battle. If it had been anyone else Cale would’ve agreed in a heartbeat. 

Plus sooner or later they know he’ll give in to the healer’s wishes.

He always does.

True enough, Cale’s resolve did not even last 5 minutes before he agreed to _____’s request. It’s now official that they will be leading the citizens towards safe zones. They would also be the first line of defence in case enemies get past the barrier and start attacking the city. 

Of course, if Cale or someone else from their side gets injured then _____ will run immediately to aid them.

The other people who didn’t listen in on the conversation didn’t even have to ask how it went. Results were obvious from the way _____ was humming on their way out with Cale sighing and petting On and Hong.

“Knight-nim please check if there’s any people left on area d. If you need me I’ll be double-checking our inventory and supplies.”

It’s been a few hours after Cale and _____’s talk. Right now the healer is making sure that everything is in order while their friends are fighting the Indomitable Alliance.

As the Medicus sees Choi Han and the others attack they remember a conversation they had with Cale last night.

The two are the only ones in the room. Well, the only ones awake. The children are with them but Cale has forced them to sleep because they need the energy for tomorrow. A serving of blueberry crumble paired with jasmine tea is being enjoyed as they talk.

“I plan to create a new history. To bring new heroes forward.”

“And I assume you won’t be part of those heroes?”

_____ asked in a joking manner as they refilled both of their teacups.

“Of course not. I only want to win this war and then go rest at the underground villa peacefully.”

Cale stopped speaking to take a bite out of the dessert.

“I’m telling you this because I want to ask you if you’d like to be part of that history. This battle would be a good opportunity to show everyone that you are alive.”

“I… thank you but it would be unneeded.”

The healer’s immediate answer made Cale look at them in confusion.

“Hmm well, that’s a shame the crown prince was also thinking of giving you the Perduellio’s assets as all of them have been found guilty.”

“Is he? I didn’t know such a thing.”

Of course _____ didn’t. Only Cale and Alberu know of such a thing. They're also the only ones who know the sorry state that family is currently in.

“But still… While I do agree with you that this is a good time to do that I still don’t want to do it. My time in the spotlight was not a good experience for me. It would be enough for me to see our friends be known and bask in that light.”

_____ sipped their tea before continuing.

“There’s also the fact that my adoptive family had committed a grave sin. I don’t think it’s right for me to strive for fame when I am still legally part of that family. I will reveal myself, but it won’t be now. I hope Cale and the crown prince can understand…”

Cale nodded in understanding. He's not cruel enough to force someone to do what he wants just because he wants to hide in the shadows. There are already more than enough heroes that he can push into the spotlight.

“I understand, I’ll inform the crown prince don’t worry about it.”

_____ snapped out of their daydream to focus back on their task. 

At least tried to.

Right about when _____ is about to talk to another knight they saw Cale bleed. The healer would have left it to the priests and healers near the field if it was just Cale’s normal bleeding. But it wasn’t.

Cale is bleeding from basically every orifice of his body.

And his too far away for _____ to accurately see if he's okay.

“I’ll leave the rest to you knight-nim, I must assist our Commander.”

So the healer runs. 

They run the fastest they’ve ever had in their entire left. _____ ran so fast they got there before the healers could.

“__– healer-nim you shouldn’t be here.” 

Countess Violan made sure that the healer’s hood and mask were still intact. The fabric on their face had been removed to aid catch their breath from running. Good thing the hood was still intact so it’s unlikely that anyone has seen their face.

“Countess Violan It’ll be fine. Our priority should be the Commander right now.”

_____ has no way of knowing how at that moment, the Henituse’s respect for them grew even more.

The healer turned to Cale to see him talking to what seemed like the air. That must be why his parents are even more worried right now. It looks like the redhead is hallucinating.

Good thing _____ knows the truth. They know that he isn’t hallucinating and that he isn’t talking to thin air. Good thing they know that the words the young master was uttering are directed at a certain invisible dragon.

"It's fine now, I'll be supporting too."

Those words may seem like it was directed at the Countess and Cale but it was directed towards Raon. It's the healer's way of saying that everything will be fine so Raon better follows Cale's instructions.

_____ can’t see Raon nor can they hear his voice in their head, but they’re sure that the dragon has quieted down since Cale had stopped muttering

“Does healer-nim need help?”

The territory’s healer finally arrived. Meanwhile, _____ has not only aided Cale’s vitality of the heart, but they were also healing Choi Han while supporting Mary.

“Yes please.”

Short responses are the only thing _____ can form right now. They must focus all their strength on supporting three people. Choi Han is especially hard to heal. It’s because the Medicus had only known long-distance healing in theory and had never tried it in person.

The far away and moving Choi Han proved to be a difficult patient but _____ is certain that his recovering little by little from the wounds they are slowly absorbing. 

Drip

Drip

It’s a good thing the colour coding for this event is black. Even as blood drips down their sleeves no one would notice from far away.

But not the people near the Medicus.

Cale’s hand that had been holding onto _____’s arms tightened at the blood dripping down the ground. On the bright side, they are now certain that Choi Han’s shoulder wound is getting better.

Meanwhile, supporting Mary is easier but still proves to be a bit of a challenge. The Medicus has to support her as stealthily as possible to not give away her location. Usually whenever _____ uses her ancient power droplets of water would appear. Then they would cover those droplets with their light ability. 

But they can’t do that right now.

Both would be too flashy and would reveal the necromancer’s location.

So they did the next best thing. Which was making their power travel through the cracks of the ground and the wall.

Doing this while doing long-distance healing and supporting the Vitality of the Heart made _____ use more power and energy than they usually would.

“Leave some of the work to the healers and priests.”

The still pale, but doing much better now, Cale whispered. _____ looked at him to assess his condition using their power. 

“I’m okay Commander, and it looks like you’ll be okay soon too.”

_____ heard Cale sigh but ignored it. Seeing that his being ignored, Cale proceeded to gather himself so he could stand up again.

And that made the healer relieved.

Sure they knew his fine. _____ knows that the young master has a regeneration power. But seeing him being in commission again made it feel real. Especially after seeing them bleed that much.

That relief was short-lived.

Because tell _____ why was the first thing Cale did was use his powers again. The healer swears that one day Cale is gonna give them a heart attack.

Fortunately, the healer and the redhead have similar temperaments. Both can work well under immense stress and pressure while making it seem like they aren’t breaking that much sweat. Thanks to that _____’s composure didn’t falter and they were able to do what they needed to.

Choi Han is still a problem though. Because of the distance, the healer can’t fully heal him.

‘If only I was stronger’

_____ tries to push unnecessary thoughts away.

‘If only I was a saint’

Just as _____ was about to get pulled in by their thoughts, they felt a familiar chubby paw on their shoulder.

“Kind _____ hang in there a bit more, we’re close to winning! I’m going to go help out Choi Han now okay?”

Raon’s bright voice had served as a wake-up call for _____. Thanks to him the healer can fully focus on their task until the very end.

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“I didn’t know I could too.”

Cale and _____ are currently on their way to the underground dungeon. Both of them are pale and their clothes are covered with blood but they are walking as if nothing’s wrong.

“When you were at the Paerun Kingdom I started thinking of my powers in a different light, and this was the conclusion of that.”

“But doing this is harder for your body right?”

“As if, you’re one to talk.”

_____ laughed as they saw Cale scrunch his nose at the comment.

“Yes it’s harder but it’s very useful at times like this. It's all thanks to the anatomy books Ron bought for me. Having a more in-depth idea as to how our bodies work allowed me to assess them even from far away.

It’s good to know that as long as someone is within my eyesight I can heal them. Haaa, but I must say, healing Choi Han-nim while he was riding those flying bones is hard.”

Both of them stopped at the entrance of the underground dungeon.

“Since it’s hard and you overexerted yourself, does this mean you’ll leave Choi Han in the hands of other healers?”

The healer laughed again as they waved goodbye. There’s no way Cale is allowing them to enter the dungeon and they have better things to do.

“No promises Cale.”

And if one of those ‘better things to do’ is healing Choi Han, then Cale can find out for himself later.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hey there

What do you think of the show pulling a Philip J Fry on Alix as per Thomas’s Twitter? And how season 5 began with “thanks for saving our lives, now get the fuck out of reality”? Personally, I would have made the duo a trio and try to get all hands on deck

I thought it was super weird and didn't really understand the in-universe logic for why Alix needed to run away. I do get the meta logic, but we'll get to that in a bit. For now, let's focus on how the show tried to justify it. This is the dialogue when Alix gets her mission:

Ladybug: Once we have retrieved the Miraculous of time, you won't return it to me. You'll have to continue wearing it in order to protect it, until Monarch is defeated. Alix: Keep it? That means... Ladybug: (crestfallen) You won’t be able to return to this time right away.

Alix keeping the miraculous makes sense, but her not being able to return to her own time doesn't. What are they worried about that doesn't apply to Ladybug and Chat Noir, too? It's not like Alix's identity was outed at any point. The miraculous would have been perfectly safe in her pocket, so that's a terrible reason to send a 15-year-old girl wandering through time with no support system.

This oddness is not helped by Future Alix's presence in both this episode and Chat Blanc. It shows us that Future Alix can mess with the past for some reason, meaning that there's no reason for her past self to go on a solo mission. If things get too bad, then Future Alix can just come back to the past and fix it.

It would have made way more sense if future Alix wasn't a thing and if the rabbit was the one miraculous Monarch didn't get, leading Ladybug to give the rabbit to Alix for safe keeping. Alix would then offer to go back to the past and change things, but Ladybug would refuse and say, "You can't change your own past! But you can protect our future. Now that Monarch is so close to reaching his goal, I need my hero of last resort to make sure he doesn't win." Then Alix could either go off to monitor the time stream or Fluff could say that it was time to start Alix's training so she knew when a situation was dire enough that it was time to interfere, thereby implying that Alix might help, but wouldn't in most cases.

Of course, those fixes fall flat since Monarch does win, but I guess that's fine since neither version of Alix stopped it? Why the wish was fine, but Chat Blanc wasn't is beyond me.

This is the problem with introducing a time traveler to your show and not giving them clear rules that prevent them from helping. It fills the story with plot holes, which is the meta reason why Alix was shipped off. The writers quickly realized that the villain really couldn't have time travel powers, so they got the miraculous back to Ladybug and then removed it from play because they had no idea how to handle time travel given how badly they've mismanaged it so far.

Almost everything that happens in Evolution is there for a similar reason. Nothing about its plot makes sense and it seems obvious to me that the events of this episode are just a sloppily attempt to fix time-travel plot holes and to make season five's plot work even though it goes against established characterization.

For example, this episode sees Gabriel give up saving Emilie because he's too tempted by the idea of beating Ladybug. This makes no sense because Gabriel has never put defeating Ladybug above saving those he loves. He's actually given up potential victories when the cost to his loved ones was too high. It's not like the writers forgot about this trait either because they bring it back to "redeem" him in the final. If he hated Ladybug more than he loved Emilie, then the season couldn't end with him listening to Ladybug and changing his wish, so him choosing fighting Ladybug over saving Emilie at the start of the season makes no sense since his character supposedly gets worse as the season goes on.

This one-off sloppy change to his character was only there so that the writers could give Nathalie an excuse to no longer support Gabriel, which is really dumb because Nathalie doesn't see Gabriel pick Ladybug over Emilie. Given that Ladybug always wins no matter how clever Gabriel's plans are, it's straight up insane for Nathalie to assume that this time was any different. Just look at this dialogue, she has no idea what happened in the burrow! She just randomly assumes the worst after three seasons of blindly following him to the point where she is actively dying because of her blind faith in Gabriel:

Nathalie: (on-call) Gabriel, did it work? Gabriel: No, Ladybug tricked me! She stole the Time Miraculous from me! (Nathalie coughs from her sickness.) You have to help me! Come up with a new plan! Ladybug can’t get away with this! Nathalie: (on-call) You had the Time Miraculous. You could’ve chosen to save Emilie! You could’ve chosen to save me! (coughs) But instead, you chose your obsession with Ladybug and Cat Noir. You're insane, Gabriel! Gabriel: (stuttering and panicking) I-It’s not my fault! It was Ladybug!!

I'd like to take a moment to remind you that one of the times Gabriel gave up winning for the sake of a loved one was when he chose Nathalie over defeating Ladybug! Why is Nathalie so certain that he acted differently here???

Circling back to your terrific trio idea, while I do like the idea of there being a larger team (but not a team of 18), Alix is the last character I'd chose for that team. It's nothing against her character. I like Alix! The problem is that her power set is broken. If she was there, then we'd be asking why she doesn't just undo the events of the season four finale or use her powers to track down Monarch's identity because canon has failed to explain why those aren't options.

To be perfectly honest, I don't think that the time traveler we see should be one of the modern kids. It just introduces too many plot holes. I think Bunnyx should be someone from the past who is watching their own future and interfering based on very clear rules that leave them almost no room to help. I think it's fine if Alix is the holder who will follow this random person from the past, but we should never see future Alix and current Alix should never mess with current affairs. Which basically means that I'd never use the rabbit for an episode focused on Ladybug and Chat Noir. I'd use it for "filler" episodes that are just about Alix learning to use her powers, which is a pretty huge deviation from the show.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 5

chapter 9:

1. OMG DID REMUS FORGET TO GO BACK TO HIS CELL WAIT HOLY SHIT THIS ISNT GONNA BE GOOD

2. oh good wait, remus left and came back

3. sirius’ first thought is to brush his teeth to kiss sirius 😭😭 he’s so me fr. i wouldn’t let my ex kiss me unless they brushed their teeth first. or had a mint. im so sensitive to smells

4. “He used to build things. Create things. And now he's lucky if he doesn't destroy what's already formed.” JESUS FUCK. THATS LITERALLY SO SAD WTF

5. 😭😭😭 sirius is literally amidst gay panic beyond your wildest comprehension and remus is just like ✨☺️😏🥱🩷🏳️‍🌈 “touch me”

BABES

6. “Remus hums. "Imagine how I feel. No one's touched me without causing me pain in five years."” NOOOO BABY

7. god, wolfstar deserves everything. the best wolfstar content i find is always in a fic that is centered on another ship. i could literally survive off wolfstar alone- no water, no food, no air

8. wolfstar calling each other beautiful>>>>>>>

9. 😬 what did sirius jsut say. i must be going crazy. cause there’s no way he just said he needed to brush his teeth

10. wolfstar deserves the world universe

11. reg is no longer a pathetic teen with a crush, he’s a pathetic adult with a crush

12. reg being grumpy even in his sleep <33333

13. james having a pathetic crush on reg while cuddling together is top tier

14. there really needs to be an emoji to accurately show the face i just made. it probably looks similar to this- 😀😟 what. there’s no way reg is about to tease james, just to get his old 14 year old self off

15. 😀😀 girl what is he doing. i-

16. how he became freinds with barty is so crimson rivers canon, i can’t even. like, i KNOW that it’s canon. but it’s also canon that bizzarestars was right about. no author mistakes in that piece

17. damn, reg is actually gonna go at it. i don’t know how james is gonna survive this and make it to the actual arena.

18. “James says his name like it's the only word that has meaning. His voice is rough, and Regulus' name is sloppy and desperate in his mouth, like a hail mary or a form of salvation.” CHRIST. I SAID I DIDNT KNOW HOW JAMES WOULD SURVIVE THIS, BUT HOW THE HELL DID REG SURVIVE THIS??

19. “Barty is a good lover, there's no denying that—but he'll be damned if James isn't just better.” 😟 shocked. omg. who would have guessed this would be reggie’s thoughts

20. “"Because you might die today," Regulus tells him bluntly, shrugging one shoulder as he stands up. "Consider it a parting gift. Now, get out."”

😧

they just fucked, and all reg can do is be like “yeah yeah, now get out horny bitch” no fucking way i just read that right i-

bitch that’s foul

21. “Regulus is a conundrum, honestly.” yes. that’s the word i’d use to describe him.

22. james: don’t tell sirius that reg and i just fucked. also james: “he’s in the shower”

bitch if you could be any more obvious

23. “Remus Lupin. If there's one good thing to come out of all this, it's him.” YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY! REMUS IS THE GOOD IN THIS

24. “”James, I am so grateful to know you, and so sorry that I had to. Every name that I call is a name I wish I never learned. Yours—you—will remain etched into my heart forever."” BITCH I CANT CRY OVER THIS- MY EYE MAKEUP LOOKS TOO GOOD TODAY TO CRY

25. “"I'll see you again soon, Regulus."” BITCH WTF THAT HURTS EVEN MORE THAN JAMES’ GOODBYE

26. maybe it’s been too long since i’ve read the books, BUT this fic seems to capture the absolute tragedy and horrors of it before it even starts even more

27. christ, not reg saying the “i don’t want to go” that hurts. like holy fuck. he’s still just a scared child. don’t put him in that arena

28. god, the way the death of james feels like sirius dying too. and sirius deciding that once james is dead, sirius will be too

how the hell is this people’s comfort fic???

29. not sirius having a lapse of memory and losing his memory of his last moments with james. that shit hurts

30. fabian <3333

31. 😧 wait fabian is dead. they just shot him. holy shit

32. gideon <3333

33. wait gideon is dead too.

y’all. i just-

this whole chapter was a fucking rollercoaster.

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

The Disgraced Prince

CHAPTER FOUR: The Prince's New Consort

Featuring Prince Andrew, Duke of York

With details on Prince Andrew allegations emerge from newly unsealed Jeffrey Epstein documents this week. Making him now a virtual recluse, only venturing out to go horse-riding on the Windsor estate twice a week, or for the occasional swim. Watching tv in a tatty old robe, eating crisps and playing the five knuckle shuffle to memories of his "glory days". Wishing mummy could have gotten him out of his latest mistake yet again.

I decided to accelerate my plan to re-make his image to the public and have him come out as bi. Agreeing as the disgraced Prince of York was willing to go to any length possible to worm his way back into public life as a working royal. Even admitting that, but he's still a boobs-and-bum man. Even though he lives with his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, at Royal Lodge, she is not the optimal choice to get Andrew back in good graces with the public. And none of his old “gallery of crumpet” were suitable. Luckily, I was recommended a guy named Ethan Clarke, a flame-headed 28 year old with blue eyes, and a slender body.

When he arrived at Royal Lodge, he was led to the master suite where Andrew and I waited. Now standing in the middle of the room, Ethan was a a good looking man, in line with what you'd expect Andrew to be into in a man.

"Why don't you make yourself more… comfortable." I said as I motioned him towards where Andrew and I sat.

Smiling, Ethan strutted up to us and slowly removed his shirt and laid across a nearby chair. Then he loosened his belt as he took off his shoes by putting the toe of one foot on the heel of the other and pushing them off. Finally, he let his pants fall to his feet as his cock tented out his jockeys. And as he slipped them down, I watched a broad grin appear on Andrew's face staring at his wonderful dick. All six inches of it pointed at the ceiling and was framed by his fire crotch as he spun around, like a dancer, showing off his bubble butt. Andrew was just staring at his beautiful body as I could tell he was overcome with lust that his crotch was tenting out.

"Nice ass."

Ethan grinned as he told Andrew, "It's all yours, Your Highness."

"But how good are you at sucking cock?" Andrew said as Ethan approached the prince. And without waiting for answer, Andrew unzipped his slants and pulled out his cock.

Looking at me, I gave Ethan a nod of approval before he slid to his knees between Andrew's wide spread legs and grabbing the prince's cock in his hands. Then as he looked up into Andrew's blue eyes, pulled back the hood and quickly began sucking Andrew's cock down into his throat.

"Bloody hell, that feels good." The prince called over to me.

He took a sip vodka he was holding in his left hand as young man started swallowing more and more of his dick while looking up into Andrew's blue eyes.

"Take it all. Show me how good a cocksucker you are." The prince said as he put his free hand on the back of Ethan's head and pulled his face against his crotch.

For the next 15 minutes, Ethan deep throated his cock, relishing the feel of his dick as it slid down his throat until his mouth was pressed against the fly of Andrew's slacks. It was amazing to watch Ethan work his skills over Andrew. All while Andrew was being his rude, gauche, insensitive self, making anal sex jokes. It went on and on until I told him to finish Ethan off.

"Yes Your Highness. Fuck me. Fuck me now. Please, Andrew. I need to be fucked." Ethan begged as he lay on his back on the near by couch.

I enjoyed how he manhandled Ethan, lifting his legs up and slapping his ass really hard, groping it firmly. I tossed Andrew some lube, which he smeared all over his cock before smearing it Ethan's opening and slipped his finger in his ass. I grabbed Ethan's legs and held them high as I watched Andrew aim his hard-on at his puckered ass hole. Ethan's chest heaved with lust filled anticipation as the head of Andrew's dick entered his hot passion-tunnel without any resistence.

"Lets see how good your bum can take my fat cock." Andrew said with lust-filled eyes as he began to pull his cock out slowly and then drive it slowly back up Ethan's ass.

His eyes closed and a sigh escaped from his mouth as Andrew's first thrust hit home. Ethan held my gaze and squealed with delight as Andrew leaned really hard over, crushing him under his hairy belly, grinding into him slow and deliberately. I could tell he was in Ethan good and deep. Each time Andrew thrust into him, pre-cum would squirt from the tip of Ethan's cock. Andrew reached down and scooped it up with his finger, brought it to Ethan's mouth as he quickly sucked it in.

After about 20 strokes, Ethan's ass opened up and Andrew began to shuttle faster in and out of his wonderful ass. He was panting and looking at me with a hungry desire, like I was a meal and he was starving. I noticed his body glistening with sweat with the occasional droplet hitting the young man beneath him. Ethan was really moaning now as Andrew fucked him really hard, his moans increasing with each thrust the prince delivered.

"Give it to him Andrew. Fill that tight young ass with all that hot cum." I cheered as Andrew began to really put it to him.

By now the room was steaming and filled with the sounds of Andrew's balls slamming against Ethan's ass, his cries of being fucked, Andrew's groans and my cheers of approval.

Watching the two men going at it caused me to get so excited that my dick popped up. Suddenly I had to join in on the fun. I went the side of the bed and slipped my cock into Ethan's willing mouth as I grabbed Ethan's feet and held them wide open for Andrew's hard pounding. I noticed Andrew began to pound faster and his face began to screw up in lust as he neared his release. In no time, Ethan grabbed the bed sheets, bucking like a untamed horse in orgasm and shot jism onto his belly.

The contraction of Ethan's ass on Andrew's pistoning dick while he went through his orgasm brought prince's own climax. Andrew bellowed like a bull as he dropped his cum deposit deep in Ethan's ass. Just then, I pulled out of Ethan's mouth and shot a big load on his face.

After leaving what must have been a big load in Ethan's ass, Andrew pulled out and I heard his cock make a wet pop as it left my popped cherry.

"He is a good fuck." Andrew said and broke into peals of laughter.

Later after Ethan left and Andrew had cum in him two more times, His Royal Highness told me he'd do nicely before I dropped a few loads into him. But that's for a later story.

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Get to Know Me Tag

Tagged by the feisty @lurkingshan, thanks Shan!

Do you make your bed?

Kinda. After my divorce, I bought lovely new bedding and happily made my bed every morning for like a year. Then I got lazy. I sorta half-ass it, where I fluff my pillows and pull up sheets and straighten the blankets and bed spread, but it's not photo-worthy or anything.

What’s your favorite number?

3. I like triads and trinities. In fact, I named my first dog Trinity. And I had three children!

What is your job?

I’m an author. I have 4 non-fiction books published under my given name and 15 fiction books published under a pseudonym. Many of my books were best sellers. Despite this fact, it is not enough to pay the bills. So I supplement my income with speaking engagements, teaching classes, and running a handful of websites, one of which is a wholesale distribution platform for artisanal imported foods. Basically, I'm self-employed and keep myself busy doing anything that interests me.

If you could go back to school, would you?

No. While I love learning and don't mind taking the occasional class to be introduced to a cool skill (like making stained glass!), I absolutely refuse to do any more higher education than I already have. I was sorta super nerdy at school because of an eidetic memory, so I collected degrees in Biblical Studies, Philosophy, Greek, Linguistics, and Russian Literature before I finally realized I didn't want to be a perpetual student.

Can you parallel park?

Nope. I learned how to do it to get my Driver's License over 30 years ago and have literally never had to use the skill since.

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmmm. My job-jobs were all pre-children so people are surprised when they find out I ever had any since my last one was decades ago. But I didn't just have a few, I had a LOT of jobs because I finished school early and had to pay for my entire university education myself because of poor parents, and I think that's the most surprising thing. I was a waitress (14-16), a shop clerk (16-18), an acquisitions librarian's assistant (18-19), a bank teller (20), a digital librarian for a major software development company (20-21), a language tutor (18-21), an adjunct professor (22-24), a houseparent in a boy's home (24), and a cog in the county tax assessor's office (24-26). I also volunteered as a translator for Doctor's Without Borders and as a suicide prevention counselor for LGBTQ youth. At 26, I had my first child and became self-employed.

Do you think aliens are real?

Possibly, but I struggle to believe humans have ever interacted with any.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes!

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Cop shows. I agree ACAB, but I love love LOVE the testosterone-fueled fantasy world of shows like Hawaii Five 0.

Tattoos?

None. I didn't want any at first because all the tattoos I'd seen on old people didn't age well thanks to saggy skin, wrinkles, etc. Now I kinda wish I'd had at least one.

Favorite color?

Dark azure.

Favorite type of music?

I LOVE IT ALL. If you live long enough, you discover awesome music in every genre. Like, I thought I hated heavy metal, but then I discovered the album Pale Communion by Opeth a decade ago and loved literally every single song!

Do you like puzzles?

Yes, but I don't make the time to do them.

Any phobias?

Heights. Absolutely terrifying.

Favorite childhood sport?

Cross country! I ran on my varsity team in HS and continued it through college.

Do you talk to yourself?

No. I am so quiet. On the weeks I don't have custody of my kids, I have sometimes had weeks where I work exclusively from home and don't interact with another human person beyond text messages and emails. When I finally speak out loud for the first time in days, the sound of my voice is jarring and unfamiliar.

What movies do you adore?

About Time. The Royal Tenenbaums. Shawshank Redemption.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee! I used to be more of a snob about it, but I recently fell in love with Korean instant coffees and THEY ARE SO GOOD. HOLY SHIZNITS.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

A teacher in a foreign country.

I haven't been keeping track of who tagged who, so I'd like to tag @absolutebl @juneviews @twig-tea @sorry-bonebag @stefanyd @waitmyturtles @disaster-j @cooloddball @spicyvampire and @norahastuff If you'd like to play and I didn't tag you, please do!! Be sure to tag me so I can read your post.

[agirlunfilteredsblog]

MY LIFE WITH BPD

(MAJOR TW: TALKS ON BPD, SH AND S**CIDE)

Hi girls! Today we are going to get a little more personal and talk about mental health. I’ve always found it crucially important to raise awareness on it, no matter how big or small my platform is. Two years ago, I was sent to the emergency room after suffering a severe depressive episode and through a grueling challenge and error process, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder six months later. Now I know what I’m going to talk about isn’t necessarily EVERYONE’S experience with this disorder, but I still think my story will resonate with some, and talking about it may help.

It was when I was about 8 years old that red flags started presenting themselves. I went through something traumatic within my family and after that incident, I wasn’t the same individual. Because I was just a child, I would mask it. My parents always described me as a happy and light child, though on the inside it was the total opposite. In reality, I would see busses and cars and wish I could jump in front of them. But I was too scared back then. Instead, I would turn to self-harm. By the time I turned 15, it had become a full blown addiction. I couldn’t stop hurting myself, almost like it had become part of my routine. It was systematic in my brain, a lullaby that would not stop.

It was around this time my mother noticed something was wrong. She begged my father to put me in therapy, but it wasn’t something he believed in, so he refused. I don’t hold any resentment towards his choice; he might have simply refused to accept that I was mentally ill. After what seemed years of suffering, I gathered the “courage” to go through with my attempt. I will not go into details about it, as I know how triggering it may be. However, it is important to note that the moment I felt like I was dying was the moment I had a huge chunk of regret for what I had done.

As I woke up from my attempt, the first thing I felt was shame. The look on my mother’s face was enough for me to feel guilty for life. It was also the day I realized I NEEDED to help myself. My mother also divorced my father around that time and gained full custody of me and my sister. I started intensive therapy, and it truly saved my life. Therapy was amazing for me, I was lucky to have a psychologist who truly cared and with her, I surmounted years of trauma and even subconscious trauma I didn’t even know existed. I finally felt a sense of light and peace. Once I started feeling better, I foolishly believed that I did not need therapy and I signed out of the program. At first it was all okay, but soon, symptoms started to present themselves. I would get angry at little things often, I would lock myself in a room, I cut off a majority of my friends out of paranoia and I started lacking basic empathy for people I cared about (I still had empathy, don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t care about hurting people’s feelings if need see fit).

When I had refused to leave my room for 2 weeks and wouldn’t show up to class, my mom got extremely worried and attempted to take me outside for some air. She knew immediately something was wrong, I was laying down sobbing relentlessly and no matter what she did, I truly could not stop. She saw the fresh wounds on my legs as well. Out of fear that something might happen to me, she rushed me to the hospital.

From there on, I promise, my life got better, and for real this time. After I was diagnosed, I started learning how to manage it with a combination of therapy and anger management classes. I grew back, not into the person I initially was, but a new person. Some days are better than others, but I am grateful now for every blessing I have. I celebrated one full year of sobriety from self-harm a while ago as well! I have a great circle of friends who keep me grounded and make me feel valued above all else. The constant ringing of thoughts of death has ceased and I truly live a life filled with gratitude. Life may not be the same after an attempt, that is true, but I’m grateful I get to live a life. So many people do not get that opportunity. I know it is hard to reach out when you need help; but trust me, it’s worth it in the end. There is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it may seem.

so much love,

a girl unfiltered 💋

[khaopybara]

I have many thoughts about Be My Favorite since I started watching this show two weeks ago. It has been plaguing my mind in an absolutely not normal way. I’m making this show my whole personality and that’s something that hasn’t happened in a long ass time. With that being said, I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere... Does any of this make any sense or have continuity or understandability? Nah, but it was fun for me.

Pisaeng doesn’t get married to Pear in any of the new future realities.

This is wishful thinking but not really. Episode 5 I think showed us Pisaeng going through his whole self-discovery and acceptance of his sexuality alone (as in with no romantic partner to make him figure it out like @mikuni14​ explained in their post). Even with his mother being the woman that she is, who shoves her son in the closet while “supporting that community”, I think Pisaeng is sure of himself and mentally strong enough not to fall into heteronormativity and get married to Pear anymore. It would feel too dishonest to the character if that was to happen now that he said he knows what he is and that he isn’t the same 15 year old unsure kid. And also dishonest to Pear who said she knew he wasn’t interested in her and was only waiting for him to tell her.

Pear gets married to Not.

Am I happy with that? Absolutely not. Is it obvious that that’s the way the story will go? Also no, really. But there is something about their footage on the wedding party that gives me the impression that they are one getting married.

And that Max and Pisaeng are very close in the future too (hence why Max goes to Kawi’s apartment to scold (?) him about knowing why Kawi and Pisaeng aren’t close anymore.) (Am I hoping for them to be a couple in the future where there is no Kawi bc apparently Kawi becomes a jerk? Yes, but that’s not the point.)

Not is a scum bag and bully, and while I think that things might be changing for him in the past (because people are calling him out on his bs) we don’t know for sure how much he changes. 

Aye does say in the Be My Favorite Stories that we see Pear as this wholesome, bright and amiable person who we all love, but in future episodes, we’ll see that no one can be a complete angel and we’ll see a completely different side of her. Maybe that’s about her father. Maybe it’s about her work ambitions. Maybe that’s just something else entirely. I’m very curious to see her development in the story because she has been proving time and time again that she has the emotional intelligence of the group along with Max.

We know that Pear will also fight with Kawi at the wedding and Kawi gets physical with Not. Kawi has Kawi reasons to feel upset I’m sure, but I think it’s fair to assume that Kawi is crashing their party. In BMF Stories, we’re told that Kawi isn’t close/in good terms to anyone anymore. Not Pisaeng, not Max, not Pear, and not even Not, so why would he even be invited. I’m sure it’ll be a mess just like my thoughts on this wedding (s). 

Two (or more) timelines for the wedding party.

We have this Kawi that no one likes.

and this more dressed up Kawi.

Also this fabulous dress that I assume will be part of the story too and not only for dress testing purposes because Aye looks amazing (her dresses could also be different because one is for the ceremony and the other for the party, but I’m not sure how common that is).

Things in the future bad + go back to the present in panic

This has been brought up before, but it’s my favorite part of the BMF Stories, and that’s the moment when Kawi goes to/from to the future, but Pisaeng is in the room talking to him about his dad in the hospital.

We get the hug and the crying 

Meaning that things 10 years from now are shitty and he probably messed up big time. The director also says this is a big moment for Kawi when explaining the scene to Gawin. Watch how he reacts during the scene and try to comfort him in this moment, and all of that. 

Do we know exactly what happens? No. We assume that is shitty because he’s once again alone (but he has his fans because hey, now he’s famous. He has a career and prestige, but is it worth it if none of the people who matter, as in not only his friends but also his dad because I saw some people theorizing that Kawi’s dad will die regardless of what he does [and Pear’s father is not to be trusted] are there with him to enjoy his success?)

Now...

When the beach scenes happen?

When does Pisaeng tells Kawi that he’ll disappear from his life?

What happens to Dad?

What is Pear’s “dark side”?

And a bunch of other questions I’m sure will be answered with more questions as the weeks pass...

Be My Favorite might as well be one of my favorite shows that I’ve watched this year. Character driven shows will always have my heart, and it has been so fun to watch it. I hope we get a satisfying second half.

[nrdmssgs]

Your reminder to be self-indulgent

This blog is not my first experience in writing. However, this one is the first, where I deliberately stay as self-indulgent as I can. Even, if it seems cringy, even if there are people out there with other preferences and perspectives on my favorite characters. This was my personal goal, and today I've found the reason behind it, a real one.

A bit of backstory. Some time ago I've moved to another country. The last months before moving were crazy: there was a shit ton of packing, paperwork, organizational work, stresses and so forth. I knew, Im not going back. What I didn't know was that life would turn out in such a way that with a high probability I would not visit my hometown in the next 10-15 years (maybe longer). Sadly, I didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to my hometown. I wish I could just have a free day to roam around familiar places: to sit on a bench, where I had my first ever kiss, to visit my school and university, to walk in park, where I shared my first ever beer with a friend, to look into the courtyard of the house where I spent the first years of my life, maybe to take some photos, so that I have something, reminding me of those places. But it is what it is, and sometimes you don't have any free time during a few months.

This night I had a very comforting dream. I was once again in my hometown. There is a cinema theater in the very center of our city. It is a huge building with a massive concrete canopy (so massive, you can actually walk on it). Although you are not allowed to climb there - there was a way to do it and 20 years ago that area was not strictly supervised, so I've done that in my school years with my friends. So I see that canopy, remember the good old days, climb and walk along there. Then I hear someones voice. "You ok there? Need help with coming down?". I look down on a guy. Never met him before, but his face looks somewhat familiar. He looks up on me with confused eyes, yet a wide happy grin. Such a sunshine of human being. Obviously a tourist, not familiar with this place. "Nah, m fine, just hanging out here." But I climb down just to not let the guy down and ruin his day. "See? it's quite easy, if you know, where to climb." I start walking away, but he follows me and asks if I could show him any cool places around. "Only if you have a few hours, mate. Im planning quite a journey around my hometown." But this doesnt lessen his enthusiasm, he is quite happy to just hang out and see whatever I have to show him. And for the first time I dont care, that he is a tourist and I have to show him some museum/palace/fontain. I just... go through all those places, Ive originally wanted to say goodbye to, when I was leaving, not caring, he could find them insignificant. I dont tell him the real reason behind every place, we visit. Instead, I just joke around, I whistle my favorite songs, I feel free to yell at the driver who almost ran over us in the alley, and I treat my new friend with sweets that he can only taste there. And he encourages whatever I do, just lets me have a good time and is genuinely happy to be around. We visit many places I miss dearly.

I woke up today with my cheeks wet with tears of joy. This happened like 2-3 times in my life. Im just so happy, I've finally revisited all those places and by my side was someone, who just let me be myself. And only later, when brushing my teeth, Ive remembered the face of that guy. "Wait a minute, it was you all the time?" It was so funny, I didnt recognize him in my dream.

So how is this little story connected to self-indulgence? I believe, that by tinkering a safe space for yourself with your favourite characters and interesting for you personally stories, by revisiting this space on a weekly basis, you train your brain to always make some place for comfort. A place, where you can express your feelings and worries freely (even if this place is your own dream). Of course, I`m not encouraging anyone to replace professional help with fanfiction. But I think, this works really well as one of many-many instruments to maintain some peace of mind. So please consider this as your reminder to stay self-indulgent. It helps, it heals.

Oh, and regarding a guy from my dream? Yep, him.

[differenzeartistiche]

Gavin Creel is 47 today!

It’s my yearly tradition to bring back this old post of ranked performances to celebrate the birthday of this wonderful performer, so here we go! Updated this year with Into the Woods!

Gavin Creel, 16 performances, ranked!

16. Nick Piazza in Fame

This show has some merits, although it’s definitely not one of my favorites. It’s Gavin’s professional debut, and I can forgive him some naïveté in an otherwise competent, beautifully sung performance. His rendition of “I wanna make magic” is lovely.

15. Charles Darnay in A Tale of Two Cities

Ok, so this was a concert performance, so it’s not really fair to compare it to the others, but I’ll just throw it in here. Mainly because it’s such an unusual show for Gavin. It’s something that tries very hard to be on the level of Les Miserables, without much success, and Gavin is not a huge fan of that kind of show. That said, it’s a nicely sung performance of a classic romantic hero role. Nice, nothing more.

14. Jean-Michel in La Cage Aux Folles

Great show, poor but still competent production. The role is easily the most boring in the whole play, but he gets to sing the cute “With Anne on my arm” and he nails it.

13. Troy in American Horror Stories

Oh this was a fun one, Gavin playing outside his comfort zone, far removed from his preferred genre and into an over-the-top, sexy role that is rather unique in his career. I wish the material he had to work with was better, but his scenes with Aaron Tveit were superb.

12. Hollis Bessemer in Bounce

Sadly a lesser show by Sondheim, I still love some aspects of it, and Gavin’s wide-eyed artistically-inclined dreamer is one of them. His big solo “Talent” is the best song of the show and touches me on a very personal level.

11. Matthews in Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

Gavin voicing a Disney villain! A Disney villain with a secret! A Disney villain with a French accent! Talk about playing against type. There’s something of Kodaly here, and of Lumiere and of Pepé Le Pew. You can tell he had a blast recording this role, and the design is exquisite.

10. Cinderella’s Prince / The Wolf in Into the Woods

This is Gavin at his hammiest, and I’m here fot it. He obviously has loads of fun with the Wolf, oozing sleaziness from every pore, and as the Prince he’s perfectly balanced between superficial, phony and clueless, you can really believe that this candy-colors clothed fool was “raised to be charming, not sincere.”

9. Bill in Eloise at the Plaza / Eloise at Christmastime

Effortlessly hilarious on screen as he is on stage, he goes full-on old-time Hollywood star in the Christmas-themed sequel and I love it. A mix of Dick Powell and Fred Astaire.

8. Dr. Pomatter in Waitress

Sara Bareilles’ little gem of a musical often finds its strength in the absolute realness of its characters, flawed human beings looking for a little sparkle of happiness. Drew Gehling’s Dr. Pomatter was awkward and fun and sad-eyed, but I think Gavin wins infusing the character with tenderness and truly lived-in melancholy. A few weeks in a well-worn musical could be seen as a footnote in a great career, but it’s such a lovely performance, enhanced by the incredible chemistry he has with Bareilles.

7. Bert in Mary Poppins

My introduction to Gavin and since then I’ve come to appreciate him as heir to impossibly gangly male leads like Dick Van Dyke, so this feels like such a natural fit. I find the show a little bloated, but watch him defying gravity in that “walking on air” scene: it’s irresistible.

6. Ugly in Honk!

Having him play the ugly duckling ALSO feels like a natural fit. Gavin’s at his best when he plays lost and confused dreamers, and the fairy tale touch with the surreal setting makes for a wonderful variation on that theme.

5. Steven Kodaly in She Loves Me

Easily the odd man out of the list. The evil, scheming, suave and self-centered Kodaly is a delightful departure from all the romantic leads and clueless buffoons of Gavin’s career. The showstopper “Ilona” brings out all the manipulative nature of the character, a snake that always finds a way out and always gets what he wants. A remarkable performance that makes me want to see him branch out into even more strange territories.

4. Jimmy Smith in Thoroughly Modern Millie

Again with the old-time charm and humor. Millie is a show dominated by women, and Gavin’s male romantic lead manages not to be swallowed whole by them by being so wonderfully easy-going, hilariously aloof and occasionally sassy. It does also help that in “What do I need with love” he has one of the catchiest numbers of the show.

3. Cornelius Hackl in Hello, Dolly!

PUDDING. That alone deserved the Tony. It’s an overwhelmingly funny turn that makes the best of the original, almost vaudevillian nature of the show. So full of tricks and ticks and winks to the audience, deliciously aware of its own absurdity, it’s the kind of scene-stealing performance that not every actor can pull off. And oh my god, has anyone ever sung Jerry Herman’s beautiful tunes so gorgeously? You almost wish he could have sung “Put on your Sunday clothes” in its entirety.

2. Elder Price in The Book of Mormon

Somewhere between the rubber-faced humor of Jim Carrey, the earnest straight man hilarity of Jack Lemmon and the physicality of Dick Van Dyke. A perfect combination that captures the sarcastic, yet disarmingly sweet nature of the show, with its hints of meanness and self-devouring doubt.

1. Claude Hooper Bukowski in Hair

Unquestionably the masterpiece of Gavin’s career. A towering performance that starts with the iconicity of the role and the visuals associated with it and finds the core of Claude’s humanity: a scared, earnest, sometimes self-centered, mostly clueless young man that has to face something so much bigger than himself, something that is so far from the made-up world of fake accents and films in space that he has created for himself and that will eventually consume him. Moments like “Where do I go” and “The Flesh Failures” are moving and brutally honest.

[itsthenerdwonder]

Okay, before we end the PJO tv show, I’m gonna watch the shitty movie. I’ve reread the book, chapter by chapter, before each episode to compare it for myself. But let’s watch the movie to compare to the show AND book cuz why the eff not?

And since Percy is played by a 21 year old, I will also be drinking during this movie cuz BLEH!

20th Century Fox…you sure did last longer than 1999. For better and worse. And now Disney owns you and you’re nothing but a memory…a little more booze will fix that.

Chris Columbus, because everyone loved the first 2 Harry Potter movies. Well, they loved how good of adaptations they were as well as the Dumbledore actor.

Giant Poseidon rises out of the water…struggling to walk through water like he’s a human. AND A HUMAN SEES HIM AND HE’S JUST LIKE “sup” LIKE….THAT HAD BETTER BE A RANDOM TSUNAMI HE’S FUCKING SEEING! AND THEN POSEIDON JUST WATER MORPHS INTO A REGULAR GUY?! WHY ARE YOU NOW A REGULAR GUY?! WHY NOT JUST START AS A REGULAR GUY? Why be massive at all? Just, why?

You know, Sean Bean probably wishes he DID die in this movie so he’d never have to reprise. But, only the main 4 actually reprised so, you know, whatever. The franchise flopped enough to count as a death.

EXPSITION! TALKING! WALKING! BORING!

Also, this implies that Luke LITERALLY JUST TOOK IT! Like, days/hours ago and Zeus is already like “guess imma just kill a kid and cause WWIII in 2 weeks.” Like, Zeus has no chill, but he’s king of the gods for a reason. Those shits are PETTY! And do ALL KINDS of stuff that could’ve resulted in dozens of power plays/wars/other shitty things happen to the gods or mortals, but they didn’t cuz Zeus…actually knows how to rule. He just doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. That’s a separate issue.

Such intense. Very dramatique standing. Much wow.

Honestly, even though this is a weird opening, it is a very good opening. Percy just…chilling in his element. Like, yeah, 7 minutes for a high schooler to just hold his breath is bad cuz 6 minutes and you start losing brain cells and teenagers don’t have cells to lose cuz they lost half of them to puberty and spend the next 10-15 years wrestling them back from their hormones and self-worth issues. But still, it’s a nice score after that intensely nothing scene, very calm and soothing, makes the “who could Percy’s dad” question feel very stupid but the movie isn’t trying to make you think, so you can just…be for that underwater scene. It’s nice. But unfortunately we don’t drown and the movie keeps going.

Although, with Rick adding that Percy does have a fear of drowning in later books, that does make this scene…terrifying. Is Percy trying to drown himself?

“It’s like high school without the musical” so…high school. Also, hey, an appropriately 2008 reference cuz these books can’t stop making references. Seriously, Rick, you can stop making references that date the books. You do a yearly reference per book but sometimes it’s multiple books per year. THAT’S NOT HOW DATES WORK.

Mrs. Dodds is teaching English cuz…Shakespeare is harder than high school trig? But it does give us a decent look at Greek letters superimposing over the early modern English as the letters move and rearrange and…this is the second nice thing I’ve said. SHIT! SAY SOMETHING DISPARAGING!

“I think this dyslexia thing is getting worse.” That’s…not how dyslexia works. “Idk, maybe it’s the ADHD.” This movie is dumb. Phew, I said something disparaging.

Percy sassing his mom makes me hate him rather than making me think they have a close relationship and he loves his mom and would literally kill for her.

Ah, the first sexual thing to happen on screen. And this is the only one to not make me mad cuz it’s Gabe being the worst.

“Show some respect. That’s my mom right there.” No, that’s his wife right there. Show him some of you leaving so he can continue to be a mortal pig stinking up the place and making you safe from monsters. God this Gabe is the worst, he’s fucking perfect.

Oh right, and the gods are telepathic too. Cuz…why? That’s never established in ANY myth or book. “I haven’t seen him since he was a baby” yeah, but apparently you guys have one-way phone calls where you give cryptic advice every other Tuesday.

AND THEY GET GREEK MYTH WRONG! “The Big Three overthrew Kronus.” *Pulls out 3 mythology books, 10 mythology websites and the fucking book.* Now, we’re not leaving until you learn these gods’ dam myths or you are carried away by Thanatos trying.

Mrs. Dodds honestly looks like such a creeper in this scene. Looking like she’s trying to sniff his hair. Ick.

Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant actor. He uses the wheelchair like a fucking pro, but then he keeps propping himself up at an odd angle away from the back like it’s uncomfortable to sit in. Which, would make sense given he’s got a whole other half folded up behind him.

It’s so interesting how the Furies keep getting wings in modern media. Like, classical depictions have them as just really really pissed off ladies. And that’s no lady. That’s a demon.

Logan was clearly thinking the CGI would grab his arms to lift him instead of underneath his arms, so he just looks really stiff cuz the CGI artists messed up.

“I should be on medication.” Well yes but actually no.

Also, how was the show’s lack of a fight scene better than this…almost fight? Pathetic attack and subsequent scolding? At least she died in the show, unlike here.

“Only use it in times of severe distress.” That line…makes no sense…cuz…like…he’s camp activities director for a bunch of demigods he’s training to fight to the death…WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T WANT THIS KID WHO’S IN IMMEDIATE DANGER TO USE A WEAPON?!

“This is a pen. This is a pen!” Well…at least some of this movie is fun/funny/almost enjoyable.

Movie!Percy is an ableist jackass who thinks crutches constitute helplessness. Book!Percy would beat Movie!Percy up for even SUGGESTING Grover couldn’t handle himself, much less kick someone’s ass. He’s seen Grover in the cafeteria line.

“Like I said, I’m your protector.” And suddenly, Eddie and the guys think Grover’s gay for Percy

“He was forced to leave.” I…the tide comes and goes. And so does Poseidon. He’s here, then he’s gone. But he’ll return again. Constant change. How is that so hard to write?

“Leaving you was probably the most difficult thing he ever did.” Okay, I know you’re not Show!Sally, but lady, Imma need you to do your research about your ex. Okay?

“Sally watch out!” For what? The cow didn’t enter the screen until the car was already turning to avoid it.

And this is why you wear a seat belt. All of you should’ve gone flying through that windshield cuz none of you were wearing seat belts.

I’m going to need Grover to never say “Come on” again. Please. For the love of Apollo.

I hate that invisible wall.

You know, it’s supposed to be raining. Which is why Percy does not insta-die. Cuz water. Instead, this kid is just the best at being a matador/sword fighting cuz Gary Stu.

“No. No. No. No. No. No.” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GIVE IT UP FOR THE WORST LINE DELIVERY IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE! “I’d like to thank my mom, for dying. My teen angst, for not giving a shit for her dying. That math test I was supposed to take today I definitely didn’t study for that I was thinking about the same time as remembering my mom just died. None of you were important to me. And I’ll keep on not caring for the rest of this movie. Good night!”

This is the tiniest Camp Half-Blood ever…and the musical just had a small black box to work with. Sword combat training right next to archers firing at everything leaving the infirmary and both working to put you back in immediately after getting healed?

“I’m a loser. I have dyslexia. ADHD.” Look. 2010 was a different time. But like…did the writers KNOW what those were? That they’re unfortunately not an uncommon disability in America. For one or the other (usually not both, but most people don’t hear about half-bloods unless they make the news for blowing up Mount St. Helens. Again)

Look at Clarise kicking ass, even though she should have her hair up. “That’s Annabeth.” Oh, right. Every time.

Instant connection. Cuz…teenagers be horny I guess. Not like we can actually build up the relationship or anything. NOOOOO. Gotta be horny at first sight.

Pierce Brosnan is a terrible actor with how he’s holding his arms like he Naruto running, but they’re fists so it just looks stiff and awkward.

“A real horse’s ass.” I still don’t understand that joke. Not that one. The one in Aladdin where he says “a horse with two rear ends” but…RIGHT! Gotta focus on the worse movie.

All daughters of Aphrodite are sorority girls with Elle Woods’ body and libido without the Elle Woods brains. Remember when this story was supposed to be for 12-year-olds.

And there’s no question who his dad is cuz Poseidon just came to camp one day and decided to be a carpenter and carved “PεΓ<ψ ωiιι βε HεΓε” right above the door

You know…the CGI on Chiron’s horse half looks pretty good.

“This stuff is so heavy!” That’s light leather! What are you talking about. I can show you several 12-year-olds wearing full metal breastplates, pauldrons and helmets carrying metal shields too (which also looks cheap, but still) that would laugh at how you think THAT is heavy.

Grover’s so upbeat here at camp…which is…interesting…

Camp Leader? Leader? I…what the fuck is happening. Why is Luke…more in charge than Chiron? And Mr. D comes next movie…DID MR. D TAKE LUKE’S JOB?!

Idk…maybe it’s just the Michael lingering in poor Adam Winchester, but…he just RADIATES evil, you know?

“That’s a sword. That’s a sword.” No shit.

But, you know, even with the shaky cam, the fight choreography is pretty good.

“My mother is goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. You know what that means?” You’re an inflated windbag who exposits a lot? Like, didn’t we already establish that 2 scenes ago? Yet, I almost needed it cuz I forgot she was Annabeth again and was like “Hey Clarisse” cuz she looks like how I picture Clarrise (who’s a blonde) and fighting against Percy and being a bitch and…yeah

Cuz she wouldn’t know to not leave a son of Poseidon anywhere near water? Like, even not knowing that it’d heal him, with admittedly decent effects, he’s already claimed and so she’d KNOW that maybe, just maybe, he’s a water boy. That and/or he’s probably pretty good on horseback.

And now the fight choreography sucks. I’m bored. Mostly by the 1-v-1 instead of war between many like we were doing. Like…they would be doing.

Grover isn’t hungry all the time here. He’s horny all the time. I hate it.

“I’m not going to grow a fish tail or gills am I?” Listen, I’d much rather be watching Thirteenth Year. Shut up.

“I have very strong feelings for you. I just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.” So…you think he’s hot, but a jerk. So…make it negative cuz…yeah, this Percy is a prick and I don’t want to be his friend. Where’s Book or Show!Percy. I miss them.

AND HADES IS SATAN BECAUSE EVERYONE SAW DISNEY’S HERCULES AS WELL AS FUCKING CHRISTIANS AND THEIR HATRED OF DEATH! I HATE THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FOR DISPARAGING THE LORD OF THE DEAD LIKE THIS!

I’m also going to need Grover to stop saying “I’m your protector.” It’s almost as repetitive as “Come on,” but not quite. Not yet.

Luke playing video games is somehow the biggest change from the book. Not Annabeth eating Clarisse’s character. Not Mrs. Dodds teaching Shakespeare. Not that everyone knows Percy’s heritage and thus we cut out the “gods are deadbeats” theme from the books…nope. It’s the fact that this Ancient Greek summer camp has fucking electricity.

“My dad’s a jerk, I’ve never met him.” You know, if it was ONLY book 1, I could forgive this. Knowing several books had come out and May Castellian’s story was able to be known…OOPS! Kinda forgot to read ahead to make sure everything lines up, huh?

I broke into a god’s house and stole stuff (I’m obviously not the Lightning Theif even though I’ve already stolen from the gods) like this book that’s still covered in dust which doesn’t make sense logically.

Shoe flies into the screen for all the 3D movie watchers out there. Honestly, I miss when 3D did gimmicks like that.

Persephone fucking around is not her character. Other than possibly Hades (and, that’s from Ovid, a Roman, who put in a line about her agency rather than the original Greek tale) she’s a virgin goddess. She’s called Kore, The Maiden, before she’s Persephone. Like…what’s with all the sex stuff and tying NONE OF IT TO ZEUS!?

Look, the 3 pearls given by Poseiden being made the 3 stopping points could’ve…not sucked, except, the first few books are very much adventures. Like Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Or any of the Lord of the Rings. We start at Point A and we’re going to Point B and crazy things happen on the way to make it interesting. Those things are just super dangerous cuz it’s an adventure inspired by The Oddessy rather than a Road Trip movie where those things are comedy based.

Map will only show 1 pearl at a time, so how does Luke know how many there are? He could be lying. Also this is why Mrs. Dodds needed to teach you Math, so you could do 1+1+1 DOES NOT EQUAL 4 PEOPLE STUPID!

Also, to get the map to show you the next one, just say I Solemnly Swear That I’m Up To No Good.

And Luke gives them a shield that takes 5 seconds to fully open which isn’t helpful because we saw none of the kids using shields so they probably would suck with them instead of knowing how to use it in a fight/forget it has a timer and they die by being impaled before the shield can fully open.

47 minutes in and we’re JUST NOW getting to the quest. And YET! It felt like we were running through the first 10 chapters.

Honestly, don’t totally hate the Highway to Hell song because it’s super on the nose.

*Grover sees rats* “That’s nasty.” YOU’RE A SATYR! YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE HAPPIER TO SEE NATURE DOING IT’S THING THAN EATING A TIN CAN! Probably…tin cans are also very delicious.

Annabeth is also a thief, stealing from Aunty Em like that.

The woman’s overacting is…why?

Grover should’ve been stabbed with how Percy was holding that thing.

Uma’s decision to rub her hands together to project her evil instead of just…holding herself with the confidence of a villainess was certainly a decision.

Huh, even the movie doing the “Medusa was a pretty woman” story…and even reference that she hates his dad instead of having a sweet spot like in the book…

What, is she just that persuasive? I think her snakes are venomous, so, like, she could do that instead of just…standing there saying “look me in the eye when you know I’m fucking Medusa.”

Percy with the iPod is…regrettably iconic.

Uma running is…regrettably memorable cuz it’s that bad rather than the iPod.

If Annabeth was able to get out with the arm broken off, she should’ve been able to get out with the arm attached, but I guess we can make Grover actually helpful.

“I don’t have the lightning bolt!” Except, since we cut Ares giving it to them in Colorado and put it in the damn shield…YES YOU DO!

Why is Medusa hitting on, supposedly, a teenager! Medusa is a ephebophile and needs to die for that much more than killing a woman who screamed too much.

That truck should be destroyed to hell and Percy should be dead.

No black man is giving up the hoodie under the jacket. That’s not happening.

Medusa is also bisexual if they found the pearl on her wrist like that so she could leave Persephone’s Garden whenever she wanted/needed.

Yay. Everyone hates country music.

I’m glad they have money for a 2 bed motel.

Wow. I’m so glad Percy can heal others with water like he’s frickin Katara.

“It’s a recent thing that Zeus said Fuck Them Kids. Like, 15 years recent.” Yeah, that’s not…that’s not why the gods are deadbeats.

Grover, not so loud. You wanna tell the entire motel ppl that we’re here?

Everyone remembered this scene from the movie and the tourist in the book and decided that’s why the show was bad in waiting until St Louis, like in the book, to say Percy was a fugitive of the law. Instead of, just…a troubled kid with a dead mom.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Gabe always running his mouth.” You met Gabe for 2 seconds at the apartment. You are talking about nothing. Gabe is always nothing with you. You know nothing. Shut up.

Boy, I’m so glad they slept so they could drive again instead of sleeping in the car, being awake at the motel, and driving all night to be awake in the day. Ugh.

The Athena Parthenos is not allowed to be there cuz we gotta find it in HoO. That’s also not how it looks in Nashville so, like, that’s gotta be the real Parthenos.

People check the bathrooms and would’ve escorted you out.

Annabeth is a racist who goes to kill the black guy first.

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A CROSSBOW?! Since how does she know how to use a crossbow? Since why does she have a crossbow?

Surprised they’re not making a sex joke about groping Athena’s tits or something.

But…why would the hydra want a bolt of lightning? It wouldn’t even be able to use it.

Also, everyone’s seen Disney’s Hercules, and Winter Soldier is coming out in a few years. Grover also should’ve known that that was bad.

AND NOW SHE HAS A BOW AND FULL QUIVER OF ARROWS!

That’s a lot of water for a single water fountain.

Boy. I’m so glad they’re carrying Medusa’s head around instead of sending it to Olympus to get their parents to say “we see you, sweeties! We hate it, but we see you!”

And again, Grover saves the day and Annabeth only makes it worse.

“Several Continents” …you named 2, so it would be over those two continents. Also…how big is it? Is it as big as a mountain range? EQUAL to Europe and straddling the two continents?! ALL OF EUROPE AND ASIA?! Cause, honestly, it’d be weird, but a stormfront covering half of Europe/part of Asia at the same time wouldn’t be impossible. Storms be big. Europe be small.

I will say, points for the show to make it a real casino instead of an amusement park like in the book, cuz…that’s not really how casinos work. Like, they can have a really great secondary, non-casino part, but…a theme park like here in the movie and focusing on the arcade and making it massive like the book is…weird.

I’m gonna need Grover to be a little less horny.

That’s a lot of people for three teens. Instead of it being enticing, it’s forcing. Which…is not how the Lotus Eaters work.

The kids have never done drugs before cuz even the ones that make you happy don’t make you THAT kind of happy.

Honestly, still a great part of the movie, with Grover tearing it up. Get it, Goat Boy.

Percy, stop getting high. This is not part of the drugs, I swear. Percy. I AM YOUR FATHER, wait, Disney doesn’t own both properties yet.

Honestly, I’m expecting the lotus servers to ring security with how insistent they are. Like, damn.

Grover was about to have an orgy, cuz like, ugh!

“I can drive from Vegas to LA in 3 to 4 hours.” NOT WHEN YOU HIT TRAFFIC BITCH! And you will.

The sky doesn’t look like a massive storm cloud, it looks like really bad pollution.

Is Annabeth allowed to do anything? She didn’t read the sign. She didn’t help in Medusa. She BARELY DID ANYTHING in Nashville (not that she did much other than have a personality in St. Louis.) She was the same level of helpful in the Lotus Casino. Annabeth, why are you HERE?!

Grover, why are you asking Percy what anything about Greek Myth is? Again, Annabeth is the smart one!

Percy just gonna casually stab Charon and think he’s going anywhere? This is the Land of the Dead, boy! He cannot die! If he does, it just means a bigger back up in the waiting room.

I love that Death plays Charon. He’s such a good actor.

“We’re in a recession!” When are we not? Fucking American economy.

You know what, the Underworld green screen actually looks impressive. It’s well done.

“All lives end in suffering and tragedy.” This is not Hell. This is Hades. So where are the Fields of Asphodel? Where’s Elysium? It’s more than just the Fields of Torment! Tartarus is UNDER Hades. That’s not all Hades is.

Probably a super cute puppy! Nope, just 2 Hellhounds. But Mrs. O’Leary is so nice!

Persephone trying to hit on Grover is…I’m so done. Why Grover’s new personality gotta be horn dog?

I actually don’t hate Hades looking like an aging rocker look. It’s weird, but it’s at least a look. Unlike Zeus and Poseidon in the first scene with 0 style.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO HORNY FOR GOAT?!

“I was banished here by Zeus and Poseidon.” No, just Zeus. And you didn’t hate it. I mean, you hate it cuz it’s constant work, but you do a good job and would hate ruling the sea or sky.

Hades asking the real questions here.

Why is Hades backing out of the deal? Didn’t they see Disney’s Hercules?

“The only time I look forward to is my allotted time away from this hellhole.” You mean summer? Like, right now? Cuz you supposed to be top side, honey.

“Guys, it’s gotta be me, cuz I’m your protector…and also gonna bone a goddess.” I don’t hate him as Grover. I hate the writers for Grover.

How does Sally know where the entrance is, but still can’t get through? Also, another woman running up behind Percy or Annabeth shouting her lines annoyingly. Yay.

Wow, you’re really just gonna say that, huh.

“I was planning on giving the bolt to Hades the whole time.” Cuz fuck Kronos who we DID ESTABLISH VERY EARLY IN THE MOVIE!

This should be a much more intense fight between Annabeth and Luke knowing their history. But…it’s more of a Clarisse vs Luke fight cuz it’s weirdly choreographed and no dialogue to suggest they know each other.

“Why do you want a war with the gods?” Cuz fuck ‘em. “Control.” I…♪Everybody wants to rule the world♪ BUT LIKE! HE’S ALREADY APPARENTLY CAMP LEADER! HE’S ALREADY GOT CONTROL! WHAT WOULD BECOMING A GOD DO????

MISS! MISS! MISS! COME ON IT’S ULTIMATE POWER AND YOU MISSED 3X IN A ROW! MISS! HOW CAN YOU MISS? HE IS 3 FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!

Percy still should not be flying, but we need the battle to be more epic cuz Percy vs Ares isn’t cool enough and a sudden reveal is too subtle and intense. This final battle misses so many marks.

HE IS FLYING THROUGH A METAL BUILDING AND HE MISSED COMPLETELY! Luke is a terrible shot and just sucks. But apparently can throw a dagger at high speeds at a moving target, so he can aim, he just sucks when plot needs them to.

And there’s the movie poster.

And Luke should’ve been electrocuted, drowned, and died. He should not be alive. But then that would imply Percy is okay with killing people. Cuz Medusa clearly doesn’t count.

And another invisible wall. If she shouldn’t have been able to get to out, she honestly shouldn’t have been able to get on the elevator in the first place.

Look at Hogwarts, I mean, Olympus.

Party City called, they want $50 per costume.

“I have no connection to Poseidon.” I…clearly you do cuz you trusted him enough to help you get out of the Lotus Casino.

This Hermes looks like a loser and deserves Luke’s hate. Nathan Fillion Hermes is Nathan Fillion and still deserves Luke’s hate.

Zeus does not have power to bring back someone from the Underworld. That is not his jurisdiction! The gods can have overlap, 2 gods of war stuff kinda deal, but not fully take control of something that is their domain. Ares has fire eyes, but he cannot control the fire of the hearth. Hephestus and Apollo both make things, but the sun and the fire of a forge are NOT THE SAME!

AND THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER! THAT IMMORTALS CAN BECOME MORTAL JUST BY LOVING TOO MUCH?! LIKE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Tiny baby horns means First Class Protector…that’s not how horns work! Zeus cannot grant a satyr the ability to grow the thing that he’s supposed to grown naturally and say it’s a promotion.

I’m so glad you left the camp where I’m training people to hopefully not die because I clearly don’t care about your safety.

Can Annabeth PLEASE fight with her hair up. “But it makes her look cool and effeminate.” It also means she won’t be able to se when it flies in her face. Like there. And there. And just know.“I kicked him out” she said. And yet, she just keeps the fridge with Medusa’s head and sees no problem with that? Had no plans on killing him with it, just decided that was going to be a better roommate than Gabe? I mean, I guess this Medusa knows how to go down on a woman, but her head is kinda limp and gross.

[chainofbeing]

It's been 2 weeks! I am so so grateful for the support we've received so far but we still have a long way to go before we can make this next season. So I'm gonna make another appeal.#

I truly believe this next season is going to be so special I have an amazing array of artists that I am so excited to work with, I cant tag them all but in terms of just preproduction I couldn't ask for a better team of collaborators than Grimrite, Lee Tomanelli, and Olivia Bannerman Pshorr.

The cast is so important to me and I really really want to show just how amazing they can be, this season is going to be so unashamedly weird and radical and I just wish i could show my 15 year old self how fuckin cool it would become.

There are some really cool backing rewards available and some sick af stretch goals that it would mean the absolute world to me if we could hit, so if you can spare absolutely anything to push us along I cant tell you how much it would mean to me:

And of course if you cant spare the extra cash a post in support of us is also extremely helpful (and we have like 12 bluesky invite codes for the next people who post our crowdfunding link on their feed so like, you still get a little something you know?)

[uselessmicrowave]

Gasp! Your requests are open! I’m here to say I’m here…to request a matchup with the RiD2015 Decepticons!

I am a very quiet backseat kid, I would barely ever talk. But once you get to know me, I’m actually a very loud and rowdy gremlin. I am the one who would always start the trouble and slip away after a while to watch it happen and drinking apple juice. I’m about 5’9 in height, and currently everyone I meet is taller than me and that makes me really salty about it. My fragging knees look like they’ve been through years of torture because I’m a clumsy ass and keep slipping on wet puddles of water. I have dark black hair and my eyes are just plain brown, no green or anything. I have a ton of sarcasm, and I’m often really irritable whenever I wake up. I’m from China, and yes, of course I know Chinese, everyone always thinks I’m from the U.S.A or some shit. As you can see, I swear a lot, but it’s often unintentional. My voice sounds quite young and everyone thinks it belongs to a 15 year old, and somehow I actually have an okay singing voice. I long for the day I could play an electric guitar, but never find the time to. Oh wait, I forgot to tell you I’m a female-

I would always wear a t-shirt with a jacket, some black pants, and shoes that match my shirt when I’m always outside, but when I get back home, I’d just throw on my pajamas. I don’t really like going outside, but it’s kind of hard to chill out at your house when all your friends are extroverts and drag you out of the house to go somewhere. My likes are drawing, soft pillows, my bed, very upbeat music, playing online games, random soft plushies I’d find at a crappy store, being home alone, french fries, very cute but worthless figurines, horror movies, and books with vampires and ghosts. I wear a golden necklace around my neck, which was given to me by my mom, and I’m never taking it off ever.

I dislike being the center of attention, being stared at, being made fun of, and just failing in general. I prefer to work alone, but I’d always love if some close friends joined in and helped me.

I’m a daydreamer, so I’m always being distracted by random thoughts I’ve had all day and forget what I’m about to do, maybe this is the reason why I’m so forgetful. My Zodiac Sign is a Taurus, but I barely act like a stereotypical one. I’m classified as a theater kid, since I could be really loud and annoying if I wanted to, but I usually don’t show that side to anyone I don’t know. I’m suffering from ADHD and anxiety, but that ain’t stopping me from doing random shit. I’m a hoarder, I would just store my secret stash of random shit I’ve collected throughout the year and never tell anyone about it.

One of my pet peeves is that I hate it when people talk over me or just interrupt me when I’m talking. Like, imagine if you’re talking about a funny moment you had when you were a child, but one of your friends interrupt you in the middle of your story to tell their story, and now you’re stuck listening to your friend’s story even though you’ve already heard it a thousand times because they’ve already texted you the story and keep reminding you about it. Speaking from personal experience…

I hope I didn’t give you too much to work with. I don’t really care if you put more than one character, go wild if ya wish. STAY STRONG, MICRO!!!!

ah! hello! thank you for being patient with me, this did take longer than i expected to write out. i'll be matching you up with rid15 fracture!

He had been drawn to you from your quiet personality from the beginning, but when you open up to him and actually talk with him, your rambunctious nature slipping, he enjoys it much more than your usual silence. Fracture sees a lot of himself in you.

Poor Fracture, he feels as though he should be taking care of your body whenever you need it. If you do inform him of your ability to, you know, be self sufficient, he will deny it to the fullest. Why would your body be littered with scars if you could bandage them yourself?

He, much like you, also has a little 'crow collection,' full of random rocks and shiny pins that his minicons have brung him over the megacycles.

Fracture will always kind of do a cute little thing, where if there's a pause in a conversation he'll look to you to make sure he's not interrupting anything. He's such a sweetheart.

He'll try to keep you from being the center of the attention. You're his pretty thing, no one else should get to look at you.

[untitled-seems-appropriate]

So I was only 19…

So when I was 19.. a few days before my 20th birthday I was living in the Bahamas. Rough I know. I was teaching scuba diving at a very popular dive shop ( I’m not going to name them, we’re a non judgement place here … although they were the most awful place. So toxic) anyways, there I was 19 years old, living in the sun, teaching on the water everyday. I met joey from Nsync!! And little did I know, 7 days before my 20th birthday my entire life would change.

maybe I’ll back track a little.. if you’re interested. I’m from the smallest place ever in Canada & I got into a super cool school that taught me how to be a scuba instructor. So I packed up my hopes and dreams, cried for weeks and moved across the country. Met the best people, partied like my life depended on it and headed to my first stop on my adventure - Turks and Caicos. But that’s a story for another time. After that adventure ended.. I headed home and searched for my next stop. Oh how I wish I could have seen into the future on this one.

so long story short, I made my way to the Bahamas. Bright eyed and bushy tailed.. happily just quit my job at McDonald’s- which I might add I was terrible at.. and I set fourth on my new quest.

I guess I should at at this point I wasn’t alone.. I had a boyfriend but he’s not relevant to any parts of these stories. But I don’t want to seem that brave, because I wasn’t. Okay back to it.

so I made it to Nassau, was living on the dock, had made some friends. I was young, I was tanned - what could go wrong?

well exactly seven days before I turned 20 I was sitting in my one bedroom tiny above the dock apartment, when we heard the alarms going off after hours. We looked around and couldn’t see anything, so we called our boss who then tells us they see people had broken into the gift shop part.. they had notified the police. Then the phone lines go dead.. because the people robbing the place cut them and the Internet. Great.

now this was 15 years ago.. I had a pay as you go flip phone I bought in a grocery store in the Bahamas. I wasn’t texting for help… or making a TikTok.. our only lines of communication were gone. So we just stood there. Well, I just stood there as a cockroach crawled across my foot and my at the time boyfriend decided to go down and yell “hello” … because that was going to spook them. It didn’t. He runs back up and we stand there watching as they throw bags over the fence and then proceed to jump the fence while wearing face masks and holding machetes and huge guns.

They must have heard my heroic boyfriend because they then proceed to POINT up at my apartment where I am standing trying not to scream at them or the cockroach and they wave and say something in Jamaican & take off in a jeep.

I breathe. Like, the biggest exhale I thought I could ever exhale in my life. Tears start pouring down my face and the panic sets in. Then obviously I’m wondering is the dock dog alive? He isn’t barking? He’s like 30 years old! They wouldn’t kill the dog right? Oh yeah - my boyfriend! I grab my pack of Marbolo reds and run outside (I was 19 and living alone smoking seemed cool 15 years ago)

everyone is alive! The gift shop is not so okay, but the dog and boyfriend are okay. The police, in true Bahamian fashion, showed up almost 2 hours later. Our loving bosses never showed up - we were okay though thanks! And that ended my day of June 3rd, while I was 19.

life resumes as normal. I wake up late, throw on my bikini and eat some Nutella toast and run down the dock to see my jobs for the day & set sail out into the beautiful, crystal blue waters of Nassau. Then comes June 7th. Three whole days before I turn 20. My entire life changed. I can’t go back, I can’t change anything that happened from then until now. But I have learned. I’ve regretted. I’ve lost and gained. But looking back to my 19 year old self and this day.. my heart does nothing but ache for her. So I guess I should tell you, if you’ve stuck around this long.

so here it goes ..

So, I was only 19. And I watched an elderly woman commit suicide over a 1900 foot wall, underwater, in the Bahamas. Got blamed for neglect, investigated by numerous people, blamed by her husband infront of a boat full of people, got exiled from my actual work to work at the sister shop and lost my damn mind along the way in a fit of grief and depression.

I was only 19. 19 years old. I was a kid - just starting out in life and all of this was being thrown at me. And no one but myself was protecting me - everyone was protecting themselves. And the things I discovered along the way. All the lies and deception.

so, If I’ve still got you here and you are interested. Let me catch my breath & I’ll tell you that story. Because that’s why we’re here right?

talk soon,

me