#if only i was obsessed with rogues or any other dc villains too

[tacagen]

imagine you adapt trickster for justice league animated series, trying to make a reference to his design from 90s tv series the flash.....

and you accidentally end up referencing quackerjack.

[mad-hunts]

what made you choose this muse? 👀

oh?? *double eye emojis* okay, i LOVE you for asking me this question, NGL. so thank you very much for the ask, my friend!! i really do appreciate it. now, as for what made me choose this muse... let me just say that a lot of it had to do with the fact that i may or may not have had this big fixation with the batman rogues (and honestly, i still do, though it's ehhh... kind of less extreme now LOL) a few years ago because i just think they're really neat, you know? like they're all meant to challenge bruce in a particular way and/or aspect, i think, and that kind of attention to detail is * chef's kiss * and i'm honestly not too sure how i came across it anymore (i thinkkk i had accessed the comics from this totally legitimate site *wink* at the time, which basically means i torrented it JSJ) but i wanted to read some comics from zack snyder's run in particular AND that is how i was originally introduced to the character. this is because he was in one of the comics related to death of the family and when i tell you that i was sort of fascinated by barton's character in there, albeit HORRFIED as well since his literal first appearance showed him in a mask made out of his deceased father's face (like seriously, WTF dude? LOLLL), i mean it.

and i think this was because there really wasn't a lot of information about him even within the comic besides that his father was this pretty monstrous guy who forced him to go on 'hunting trips' with him when he was a kid, as you all may already know, and later got killed by jim gordon... and after disappearing for some years, he came back and just. Decided to do something that's completely normal (sarcasm haha) and help the joker cut off their face??? which is an utterly INSANE plot point, of course, but i really do enjoy the more horror-based stories surrounding the batman lore so i immediately wanted to see what else i could find this character in. and much to my dismay, barton only appeared in ONE other comic besides that one before the writers were like ' welp. i guess we're done with this guy, because he's served his purpose ' LIKE OMGGG. i did not want to believe that they literally just had him be the primary antagonist in one comic, and a secondary in the other, because i honestly could see a lot of potential in him as a formidable threat towards heroes + i really wanted to know more about what EXACTLY he was making these 'dolls' of his for.

but unfortunately, the writers of dc sometimes are WACK and don't always pursue plot-lines that would be very interesting in my humble opinion / kind of subvert from the norm. so i decided, to hell with it, i was going to make him MY original character now because if they weren't going to make more content with him in it... then i will MUAHAHAH 😈 nahhh, i'm kidding, but that is pretty much what i was thinking whenever i started to develop him and basically make him into a fully-fledged person rather than just an antagonist with limited backstory to him + that was one-dimensional. anddd i wanted to delve deeper into the subject of how barton became the way he is in particular, because although his environment was most definitely a factor in his role in 'gotham's underground' now, everyone has to take full responsibility for their actions anyhow and his was to be a violent as well as overall abhorrent person. for, although the fact that he also has ASPD plays into this, it is not an excuse for any of his behaviors.

so yeah! all in all, the reasons behind why i chose the character of barton specifically to portray was because i think that the writers of DC reallyyy missed out on the opportunity of creating a complex villain and just in general doing something more with barton's character than him just simply being 'that guy who cut off the joker's face.' plusss, once i got the idea in my head that he was a blonde man with curls? it was all over for me, y'all, i'm not gonna lie. i was OBSESSED / j LMAO i'm joking, but for some reason, i could just see my current fc suiting him. and that's about all i have to say about it for right now but i hoped you liked my response to this!!

[cromaka3666]

a rant/series of ideas

So I've posted these on SB before but to put it simply, the phandom is stagnant. The same ideas are repeated over and over again mixed up but too similar to tell apart. Over on ao3s dp crossover section I've noticed a ton of these stories are created after the author reads a prompt here so I figured I'd gather the posts I've made on SB and post them here in hopes those authors can see them. I'm just copy/pasting these so they will look weird as they were originally posted on SB and I can't be bothered to edit them.

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So yall know how d.c. crossovers are really common. Well I just had a small idea to add to the list of why heroes don't usually kill, batman especially. Obsessions can help make ghosts and few people are more obsessed than villains, the heroes know this and don't want to risk powering up their rogue gallery more, especially since hell is real and as we saw with deathstroke/slade it's easy to make deals and return. Just another angle to add for those crossovers. Last thing anyone wants is a ghost/demon empowered joker running around.

We have tons of danny phantom dc crossovers but not a single one has Cujo join the super pets for adventures. This is a crime that should be rectified immediately. Best pup should be allowed to play with Ace and Krypto and fight animal crimes.

What aren't there any stories where danny is in the marvels zombies storyline, or dceased, or blackest night, or even the new dc vs vampires storyline.

Why are almost all horror stories about him being tortured when there are perfectly good zombie apocalypses he can fight in. I'd love to see danny wield a black lantern ring and be in total control because he's already dead and as such doesn't need to eat hearts to gain power.

I'd love to see danny get bite by a vampire only for them to taste what's basically deadmans blood. We need less secret sibling, torture filled, betrayal fics and more danny pulling a doomslayer and fighting trigons armies when he invades.

Pariah Dark pulling amity into the gz would have gotten international attention just like cannon. Something that's brought up but never really explored are meta humans rights clashing with the anti ecto laws, I'd love to see the various magic users testifying in congress, debunking the fentons beliefs that ghosts aren't people and as such deserve the same rights as everyone else.

Also I'd love to see walker put in control of arkham, blackgate, or Belle reve. He'd have those places on lockdown, and the thought of the joker trying to escape only for walker to toss him back in his cell is hilarious to me.

All these DC crossovers but not one shows an alternate danny in the justice lords, injustice, or crime syndicate version of the league.

I'm tired of rereading the same stuff, let me read about an evil crime boss danny or one who rules over the GZ like how the justice lords rule earth, or one that sides with superman after metropolis gets nuked. So many alternate worlds, timelines, and dimensions to choose from and they always pick the same ones.

Forget JLU, YJ, or TT let me see danny in the justice league dark apocalypse war movie as a trigon possed Dan Phantom and have him fight Darksied

The infinite realms is so underutilized in the dc crossovers, and just the phandom in general.

You have an entire dimension that can take you any when and anywhere you want/don't want and you don't use it to let superman meet his parents before krypton blows up, or any other orphan superhero for that matter.

Hell you don't have to save his family, you can set up a stable time loop where this meeting is what convinced them to send him to earth rather then any of kryptons dying colonies.

Have Pandora meet wonder women, I don't think I've seen anything more then a passing reference about her in any dc stories to date. The 4 armed ghost of a Greek Goddess would absolutely be something the Amazon's would want to meet.

I'd love to see more stories exploring the factions in the gz like make up a rivalry between the far frozen and Atlantis before the yetis died out and less stories about Lazarus pits being ectoplasm, and Danny bring the lover/secret brother to the entire bat clan.

Give me poison ivy possed by Undergrowth or the joker being terrorized by the box ghost because joker gas doesn't work on the dead. Hell weather wizard/ any other weather villain teaming up with vortex would be fun. Or have technus hijack brainiac/amazo, now that be a good threat.

Let's see Danny put on the helmet of fate and fight klarion because he's not at the same level as the cosmic forces of order and chaos rather then the gz being some super dimension that John "I sold my soul to 30 devils, 10 gods, an angel and a fae" Constantine is too scared to touch. Pariah was powerful, but he ain't Darkseid, Trigon, Child, or Nekron powerful.

Let's see more, superheroes deal with ghostly shit rather then Danny runs away/moves to Gotham for the 30th time. Like lets say the flash has to deal with Kitty and Johnny joy riding in Central city but he can't touch them or freakshow stops in Gotham and kidnaps Jason since the phandom is obsessed with making him a halfa or halfa adjacent. So much potential and none of it explored!

So, yall know how the phandom likes to make ectoplasm an emotional conduit. Where ghosts either can feel / feed on emotions and ectoplasm can have emitions without being a ghost, usually when talking about the pit rage Jason has in the DC stories. Well, let's roll with that and add the Emotional Entities that the lantern corps use.

If ghosts feed on emotions then the lanterns are basically walking snacks, if they sense emotions then the lanterns are walking flash bangs, and if ectoplasm can have emotions then let's have some ghosts get lantern rings simply because they are emotions given physical forms.

Also, yall know how the Danny defeats pariah and becomes king stories are a whole thing, why doesn't that apply to Dan?

Rant/prompt ideas done for now but I have so many more. Let's bring some life back to this half dead phandom.

[maxwell-grant]

Who's your favorite Batman villain?

The Penguin. Was gonna put off this ask for a bit but I got surprised today with an incredible rendition of him, so now the dastardly bumbershoot waddled and squawked his way into my thoughts again and I gotta talk about him.

Penguin's not just my favorite Batman villain, he's my favorite DC character and comic book supervillain, the main reason I even want to write a Batman story someday.

I love the imagery that surrounds him, the trick umbrellas and the birds he so lovely dotes after and the WAKs and the Iceberg Lounge, which has become maligned in recent years as a sign of his downfall, but I very much appreciate as a concept in general still. I love a lot of the performances and actors who've taken him over the years. Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito are some of my favorite performers of all time, Paul Williams has a wonderful voice and starred in my favorite film of all time. Tom Kenny, David Ogden Stiers, Robin Lord Taylor, Penguin's just had such great, terrific performances and adaptations. Batman Returns is my favorite Batman film by far and it was what got me to start paying more attention to Oswald.

I love the roles he can play in any given Batman story and how he's managed to endure all of his falls from grace by becoming an indispensable part of Batman's worldbuilding. I love his varied dynamics with Batman and Riddler and Catwoman and Gordon and his henchmen and those who get close to him. I love his style and the way he conducts himself when he's allowed to be more than just a generic mob boss. Penguin's design has, by simply staying unchanged over the decades, gone from "common rich person wear draped over a funny cartoon gangster" to "he is so out of touch and desperate for respectability that he dresses like an 1930s capitalist caricature, like a little kid's idea of what a rich and respectable man looks like, and Penguin's still stuck in that mindset". I love how absurd and plausible he is.

I like that Penguin can very easily fit just about any kind of Batman story, from the campy supervillain plots to the gritty urban crime ones. You can tell stories about Penguin falling in love, pretending to be legit because he doesn't want his aunt to learn he's a criminal, and opening up a comedy act with a talking penguin, or stories about Penguin terrorizing the city with giant robots and guided missiles and driving people to suicide. I like that he's a character who both relishes in his lifestyles of supervillain and crimelord alike, and yet is perpetually restless because the minute he acquires what he wants, he immediately starts wanting something else. He could have Batman and the Batfamily and all other supervillains wiped out and have Gotham in his pocket and maybe even become President of the United States, and he'd still want more. Because Oswald is nothing but wants, the wants of a traumatized manchild in a funny costume throwing money and toys and brute force and tantrums at the world until it makes sense, which only makes him far too fitting as a Batman villain.

Everyone forgets that Penguin was canonically the first villain to ever successfully escape Batman at the end of a story, completely bypassing the usual "villain swears revenge behind bars" ending to instead escape scot-free, and went on to establish himself as one of his biggest, most inventive and most cunning villains, second only, if not equal, to Joker. I love that he's ruthless and inventive and classy and cunning and brutal and how his main trick is using the fact that everyone underestimates the short fat man to his advantage. He's taken traits that got many of us in real life relentlessly tormented for them, and he uses them to pull the wool over those who think they are better than him.

It'ss a trick that works because even in real life people can't stop looking at this weird and silly little man and think "that guy's too silly for a Batman villain, he's not a murder clown or musclebound monster, what's he gonna do" and, yeah, that's the point, that's been the point from day one, he doesn't look scary or intimidating or even that evil, and he's the guy who pulls the rug under supergenius fighting machine Batman and becomes the top crimelord of Gotham City, a city ruled by terrors and manias and monsters infinitely bigger and scarier and stronger than he is, and he STILL made it to the top and he STILL maintains it, time and time again even when newer and flashier and scarier villains come and go. Batman is, at it's core, a fundamentally absurd character, and Penguin acts as a reminder of that. Because the minute we accept a man can terraform himself with training and money into a living legend on the level of gods, there's no reason why a tiny fat man with similar drive and resources can't likewise throw his weight with monsters and warriors far above his station.

Despite how ridiculously often he's disrespected by writers and fans alike, how far he's fallen off his former position in Batman's Rogues Gallery, and how often he's used as just a punching bag for assorted Bat-people, Penguin never goes away. He's the biggest survivor of all of Batman's villains, more so than the genuinely immortal ones, because he's the cockroach that won't go away no matter how many times you flush it.

Because once you get past the piles of money and the lounge fortresses and the armies of goons and the piles of cartoony gadget toys not too dissimilar from Batman's own, what the Penguin has is brains, and spite and hatred on a scale no other Batman villain has. He hates Batman, because Batman is nothing but yet another bully who thinks he can push Oswald around just because he's bigger and stronger. He hates the lower class for it's unsophisticated brutes and boors that made his childhood hell. He hates the upper class that's rejected and also tormented him since infancy, that he desperately spent so long trying to be a part of. He hates the monsters and supervillains he works with and has to associate with to stay alive. He hates the city that he fights to rule over tooth and nail.

And although he may never admit it, he hates himself, because he'a short paunchy man with a beakish nose who's brutal and immoral not just because those are the cards life dealt him, but because he likes what it affords him too much to give it away. Because he's never going to have the love and acceptance he desperately craves, he will never be able to accept it or keep it. Because he can never fully be a gentleman, or a monster, but instead a sad mix who belongs in neither of their worlds. Because at the end, he doesn't look like anyone else. He looks like one of him.

And still, I like Penguin because he's a Gentleman Villain. The one Gentleman Villain of Batman's rogues gallery, even if that's faded from a lot of his recent appearences that pushed the crimelord aspects to the forefront. He dresses like a gentleman thief, he's canonically a huge A.J Raffles fan, he's one of the most cunning brains of Gotham, he's got the money, resources, and adventurous spirit. Problem is, he's The Penguin. And suddenly, all that he has becomes overblown, outlandish, theatrical, and out of touch purely because it's him trying to do all those things. He's a gentleman adventurer gone rogue, the Count Fosco of the DCU, and that only makes it amusing, even endearing, when Penguin does engage in the swashbuckling antics he's so fond of.

When all his plans go to hell and so he starts fencing Batman, or when he commands henchmen with superflous fancy language, or even when Oswald gives the whole "hero" thing a shot and we see he's actually not bad at it, maybe he actually could have been one if it wasn't for the bile drowning his heart and the hellscape that warped innocent young Cobblepot into Gotham's Penguin, a name that immediately denotes something silly and ridiculous, and he carries it with pride, because he will make you respect that name.

And that's just a couple of reasons. I really, really love this character to the point of obsession and the main reason why I ever wanted to write stories for DC was to get to write Penguin and at least try to do the character a little more justice. But if nothing else, Penguin endures, regardless of what happens to him, in and out of universe. If nothing else, that's a very admirable quality in a supervillain. Oswald is the best.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Wonder Woman's Rogues Part II

Right last two since I ran out of images for the first post.

Maxwell Lord

Nobody provokes Wonder Woman fans like this dude and for good reason. Diana snapping his neck has unfortunately become an iconic moment for her, her equivalent to Doomsday killing Superman or Bane breaking Batman's spine. Lord got a "win" over Diana by sullying her reputation in-universe, and out of universe that moment defined her as a killer in the eyes of the creators at DC and the readers. Such a huge moment going to a character Diana had no real connection with, and it having such a negative impact on her means that a lot of WW fans really hate seeing this guy pop up in her Rogues Gallery.

Unfortunately like it or not, Maxwell Lord is always going to be considered part of her Rogues because of that moment. It gave the two of them a huge personal relationship for the same reason Doomsday is not going anywhere. So what can be done with him? Well he does have some aspects that make him a good foe for Diana. Both Lord and Wonder Woman have ties to spy organizations, and I can see him making a good second-in-command to Dr. Cyber. Both Cyber and Lord would have a belief in the ability of technology to improve mankind. Lord would ally with Cyber for the purpose of recreating the OMACs while secretly planning to betray her, and she would be planning to do the same to him while planning to induct the OMACs into Godwatch. Lord ultimately dreams of making the world "safe" under a shadow government that he controls, and he bears a personal grudge against Diana for killing him. He wants her and all of the Amazons dead, and achieving that end is his private obsession. No one other than he and Diana know just how much his end at her hands eats away at him.

Veronica Cale

Rebirth is what made me finally come to appreciate the character. Cale's Pre-Flashpoint incarnation was too similar to Lex for my tastes. Rebirth finally made the character click with me by positioning her as an evil counterpart to a Wonder Woman character central to the franchise: Hippolyta. Cale is an evil Hippolyta, a mother who loves her daughter so much she would go to any lengths to protect her. Really enjoyed her under Rucka, but I'm not sure she's a villain who can be used long term. She has a goal, she wants her daughter Izzy back, and there's no real reason Diana wouldn't want to help reunite the two now that she can return to Themyscira. Once Cale gets Izzy back she shouldn't have much reason to keep antagonizing Diana, unless they just make her evil at heart which would ruin the appeal of this new incarnation to me.

Personally I think Cale should be left to Rucka to write. Reunite Izzy and Veronica, and then send Cale off the stage. If Rucka ever comes back he'll probably just write a Black Label book where he can write Cale as he pleases. But as an ongoing threat, this version of Cale is like Mr. Freeze in that she really only has one story to tell, good as it may be.

[pl-panda]

The Vines that bind us - Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own Miraculous Ladybug or any DC characters. I own only the plot, and even that is inspired by the amazing story "Marigold Ivy" by @lwandile13 on Wattpad. Go check it. It's great. He allowed me to take some inspiration, for which I'm grateful. Also, don't translate the french words maybe. Or at least do it on your own responsibility. Big thanks to @Liza! on Discord for being my Beta :)

NEXT

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was a normal girl, with a normal life. But she had a secret. Her real name was Marigold Isley. She was born under that name in Gotham city sixteen years ago. Her mother never revealed to her who was her father, but Mari never cared. She was happy with her mom and several aunts and uncles. Technically, none of them were related to her by blood, but Rogues were quite close to each other (excluding some outcasts like Joker or the Menagerie). They taught her many interesting things such as lockpicking, stealth 101, or hand-to-hand combat. She was five when it started, so her first-ever practical test was breaking into a kitchen cupboard and stealing a jar of cookies. Overall, she was very happy. 

It changed when she was eight. One very tired social service person named Elizabeth Barrow got wind of a child of a villain. That Elizabeth was new to Gotham after being reassigned from Metropolis and didn’t yet get the wind of how things worked. Maybe her colleagues didn’t like her, or maybe she was just too overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the problem in Gotham. Previously, there was an unspoken agreement in the government that they wouldn’t notice Marigold. In exchange, rogues were calmer. Or at least tried to keep the death toll down. For a time, Gotham even started to slowly heal. But then, Elizabeth took the case of Marigold Isley. Ivy tried to fight. To protect her daughter. For three days, the city was held hostage by giant plants. It was only the fear in her daughter’s eyes that made Poison Ivy relent and let go. She didn’t want that life for Marigold. The one condition she gave was that the girl would leave America as a whole, to ensure she would be safe from all the madness. 

And so Marigold ended up in the care of baker’s couple in Paris. She never showed any powers thus far and the adoption agency kept the parentage a secret. That’s when Marinette Dupain-Cheng was born. She continued with martial arts training and stealth training, but now only as fun and reminder of her mother and extended family, as opposed to actual necessary survival tool. She also picked up designing as another hobby, which soon turned into a kind of obsession. She was generally a ray of sunshine. 

The one black spot in the happy world of Marinette was the Mayor’s daughter. Chloe Bourgeoise considered herself above others and just couldn’t stand sunshine girl. She ruined her clothes, sometimes damaged her homework, or verbally assaulted her. While Chloe was generally disliked, she was more of a nuance. Overall, Marinette was happy. At least until two events changed that. 

When she was twelve, Paris was attacked by Hawkmoth for the first time. Marinette found herself becoming Ladybug, a superhero with magical powers that protected the city from harm. She received a partner in form of Chat Noir. It took some time before she got hang of it, and then more time before she and Chat became an actual team. Over time, more heroes joined them, even if temporarily only. She had people she could count on. She became Happy again. 

Privately, she started her own brand: MDC, managed to become a class representative, and became best friends with Alya, who joined around the same time she became Ladybug. It was quite ironic. The superhero was best friends with one person whose greatest dream was to unmask the hero. Marinette also developed a huge (and a bit unhealthy) crush on Adrien Agreste, a famous model who was in her class. She spent years vying for his attention, but nothing ever came from her attempts. She was unable to even say a word around him and her face always became red like her mother’s hair. Overall, she couldn’t complain.

Then, when she was fifteen another black spot appeared. It was Lila (Liela) Rossi. She came to their school and immediately started sporting lies with every breath. Surprisingly, everyone seemed to buy into that, believing her like she spoke the gospel. Everyone but Marinette. She tried to expose Lila, but it only backfired. She became an outcast, disliked by everyone, and universally hated. Suddenly, it became okay to bully her because she was a bully herself and deserved it. It became okay to shun her and no longer include her in anything. The worst was Alya, her former best friend. At first, she just tried to nudge Marinette to give Lila a chance. When Marinette tried to show the truth, Alya practically attacked her. She was just as much responsible for Mari being cast out as Lila was. The fact that her best friend abandoned her only fueled the gossip and allowed Lila to drive the final nail in. In the span of a few weeks, Marinette was left alone. 

Around the same time, Chat Noir became more persistent in his pursuit of her while Adrien, who Marinette knew was aware of the lies, was only telling her to keep the high road (do nothing). She could understand him. As a famous model and son of a well-known fashion designer, he was always taught to not provoke the press. It still served as a wake-up call on her crush. 

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Marinette was packing her things after lessons when she noticed someone approach her from behind. Immediately, she tensed. After eleven years of martial arts practice, it was an instinct. Before she had time to turn around, something heavy landed on her desk with a loud Thud!. She turned to see Chloe standing over a large book, a single thick envelope, and a puffy bag that content Marinette couldn’t guess.

“What’s a…” She started, but Chloe cut her off. She had her usual ‘resting witch’ expression.

“The book contains every single instance I verbally assaulted you, destroyed something of yours, talked about you behind your back, or in any way otherwise did something wrong toward you. Here are the materials for the damaged clothes,” she pushed the bag toward her, “and here is money for other things.” Chloe gave her the envelope. “I apologize for all of that. I was jealous of all the attention you kept getting even though I thought I deserved it. I now realize that my behavior was wrong and hurtful. I will understand if you’ll never speak to me again. I kept acting ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” With that, she turned and started to walk again. Marinette idly noticed that there was no Sabrina nearby. Thinking back, Chloe was no longer acting (overly) mean toward anyone as of late.

Making a split-second decision, Marinette raced after the blonde and pulled her into a hug.

“Wha…” Chloe yelped before sinking into the hug. Neither girl realized they were crying until they finally separated. Blonde had her lite make-up in total ruin while Marinette had tears still going down her cheeks. “Does that mean you accept my apologies?”

Marinette didn’t answer immediately. She stood there with open mouth for a moment before smiling weakly. “Yes, Chloe.”

Since that day, they were best friends. It turned out to be a blessing. Chloe, once she finally allowed someone to truly know her, turned out to be a highly intelligent, funny, and very much still overbearing person. She still acted high and mighty, but it no longer felt mean, rather just… felt. She took to defending Marinette from the rest of the class. She was aware of Lila’s lies from day one but never acted on it until it was too late. Sabina abandoned her for the liar. Dealing with loneliness was hard on her. She didn’t even have parents that cared. Her father would probably move sun if she asked, but he had an emotional range of a toothpick. Her mother didn’t even know her name, so she didn’t bother.

Something about their friendship must’ve upset Lila because the girl upped her game. Marinette’s parents suddenly found themselves facing strong critique and constant inspection from the sanitary department and child protection questioning their parenting abilities. MDC, who was slowly becoming one of the go-to fashion designers for famous found herself in the middle of several fake media scandals, including one lawsuit over defamation. If it wasn’t for Jagged Stone and Penny rallying her customers, Marinette and her parents would end up broke. He managed to save MDC and practically made her untouchable. Still, Alya and Lila got off scot-free as nothing could be linked to them.

Perhaps what pushed Lila over the edge was Chloe confronting Adrien. She yelled at him for good two hours straight about responsibility and morality, pointing in detail exactly what he did wrong. She would probably go on if Marinette didn’t stop her. After that, Adrien finally apologized and tried to make things right, but it only turned against him. By then, Lila had everyone so deep into it, that he was powerless. She didn’t go after him as her partnership with Gabriel Agreste was too important, but she did tattle to the Fashion Mogul about it. Gabriel tried to get his son under control, but this was one thing that he couldn’t achieve. 

It did inspire a whole youth fashion line ‘rebel’, which became a global hit.

All this time, Marinette kept two secrets. One was her identity as Ladybug and the guardian, the other was her true name and family. Until she kept neither.

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Marinette returned home after another day at school. Recently, her mother revealed she was pregnant with another child, even though she was believed to be barren. Everyone in the bakery was overjoyed and the couple even started to hand out small treats to any guest that came. The free samples helped the business return to a better standing. 

When she entered, strangely there was no sound in the bakery. It was empty. Usually, her parents would both be very busy as it was still business hours. Slightly worried, she went upstairs. When she entered the living room, she found an envelope addressed to her. 

Isley

We tried, but we can no longer tolerate you. We turned a blind eye when we learned how improper you act, trying to drag every boy you meet for some, and we quote, “alone time”. We didn’t react to the bullying accusations, believing them to be overexaggerated. Even when you were expelled, we still had hoped you’ll turn out into a fine young lady. But now, we must think of the baby. Today was the last straw. Hearing about how you ruined that poor impaired girl’s birthday was both cruel and against everything we taught you. 

We held hope you won’t follow in your mother’s footsteps, but you proved us wrong several times. We supported your obsession over fashion, even with the drama it caused, because it was actually non-violent. At first, we didn’t want to teach you how to fight, but we convinced ourselves that you would have a way to vent the emotions somewhere away from us. 

Please, don’t try looking for us. We will probably have already left the country or even the continent. The bakery is yours. We don’t want to have anything to do with the spawn of evil such as you. 

We hoped you would turn out better

Sincerely,

Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng

Marinette tried to read it over and over again, but her eyes welled with tears. She had no idea she was screaming until her throat was coarse. Rationally, she knew she needed to keep calm or she would attract the Akuma, but emotions made her not care. 

Unknowingly to her, the plants all around Paris responded to her cry. They started growing and spreading, trying to get to their queen and comfort her. The Akuma that would’ve come for her stumbled into one of the vines, corrupting it. Hawkmoth was surprised, it was not something anyone ever seen in Paris except on TV or some strange Japanese shows that play after midnight. The more important thing was that even though he akumatized the plants, he had no control over them. He couldn’t even recall his Akuma. 

Back in Marinette’s living room, she started to feel the ground rumble. Soon, plants exploded from the ground and broke windows. She slowly looked at her hands to see them tinted with green. They were not the same as her mother’s, but close. She looked to the floor where pieces of glass littered everything. Her face was the same, but her hair became blue and her eyes were now the most vibrant iridescent green she’s ever seen, exactly the same color her mother’s eyes were. 

She started to panic even more. Tikki floated next to her, talking to her, but Marinette couldn’t hear her. Or maybe process it. She could hear the plants call to her. She could hear them speak. They promised her revenge. They promised retribution on those who attacked her. God’s wrath would rain upon them from the sky and hell’s fury would consume them from beneath. 

Impaired girl…

“Liar Rossi.” Marigold seethed. She knew there was only one person who would do such a thing. Only one talented enough to convince her parents she was a villain. If they wanted a villain, they would get one. Her mind was being clouded. Her clothes were already torn, replaced by a skintight outfit made of leaves, much like her mother wore. Then, Marinette remembered another part of the letter. She added a skirt made of purple petals that complimented her blue hair nicely and long sleeves that reached to her hands, ending with a triangle that reached her middle finger and surrounded it at the base. She left the decolletage as it was.

Exiting her house, she allowed the vines to carry her. There were only so many places The Liar could hide. First, she went toward School, as it was closest. She made plants carry her over the roof right into the courtyard while more of them broke the doors and blocked any exit. The fencing class was still going on, but The Liar was not there. She looked over the scared crowd, spotting two people she wanted to find. She needed to protect them from The Liar, else they end like her. She grabbed the fencer in a red outfit and her partner, knocking their masks to reveal Kagami and Adrien. The plants wrapped around them, forming a sort of cocoon before dragging them to the heart. Marinette then turned her sight to Eifel tower. She knew The Liar liked to drag the class there. 

As she moved through town, she passed the Hotel where Chloe lived. Pausing, she made the plants lift her toward the balcony. Her best friend was indeed there, right next to the lit-up Bee-signal. Honeystly…

“Marinette!?” The blonde jumped in surprise

“Marinette is gone. She should’ve never even been. I’m Marigold, the daughter of Poison Ivy.” For a moment, the fog thickened, but Mari shook it off quickly enough, before whatever caused it managed to get the hold of her. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng! If you got yourself akumatized, I’m telling my daddy!” Chloe shouted. Seeing the tears form in the iridescent green eyes, she looked at her friend with pity. “Oh, Mari! Is this the Liar again? Come here right now!” The blonde spread her arms for a hug. She didn’t care about the Akuma. Her friend needed her and she would help her conquer the world if she asked. Chloe owed Mari… everything. She helped her evolve beyond being the queen witch. In response to the gesture, the plants in the garden started to grow until they surrounded the two of them in a tight cocoon. Marinette stepped onto the balcony. She affectionately petted the vine that carried her so far before allowing it to return to its hunt for the Liar. 

“Chloeee!” Mari launched herself at the girl. She sunk into the embrace, allowing tears to start flowing again. She sobbed her heart out while pushing a piece of paper she constantly held in her clutched fist before. The blonde took it and read while patting Marinette on the back of her head. 

“Salauds! Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous! How dare that cochons! And the chienne! Wait till I tell daddy about this! Don’t worry Mari. I will protect you! I will ruin her! Merde!” The rant made Marigold pause. She never heard Chloe curse. Like… never. “But first. Mari. You know I love you and I would help you hide the body, but drop the Akuma. It’s making you look Ridiculous. Utterly Ridiculous! I mean the dress is so much spot on and so you, but the whole take over Paris is more my style. I can let you be my faithful sidekick while we take over the world if you want.”

For a moment, Marigold continued to stare at Chloe before she burst out in a fit of laughter. It wasn’t a nervous chuckle or the villain cackle, but genuine pearly laughter. It was just so… Chloe-ish. She couldn’t imagine anyone trying to dissuade an Akuma by offering to become a sidekick. 

“You… You… Never change Chlo.” Mari smiled at her friend. 

“Whoa. You… didn’t make me a fertilizer? I mean, of course, you wouldn’t. You are just too good of a person, but Hawkmoth…”

“I’m not akumatized Chloe.” Mari smiled. “It’s me.” As if to prove her point, she stood up and spun, allowing the blonde to see her from all sides. “This is how I really look. Apparently, I do take some after my mom.”

“Your… mom?”

“Pamela Isley, she was a famous biologist. Mom was brilliant. She used to be one of the smartest people in the world.” Mari praised. “There was this one accident that she is now famous for…”

“Pamela Isley? I remember reading about her.” 

“Yeah… She is…”

“Didn’t she create this environment-friendly line of cosmetics?” Chloe asked in her typical fashion

“Yes! I have no idea why everyone remembers her only for the ‘Poison Ivy’ thing!”

“I know, right?” Chloe nodded. “Wait a…”

“Tada!” Mari said weakly before trying to look away, doing everything not to look her friend in the eyes. The blonde gently grabbed her chin and moved it so she could look right into the beautiful green eyes of her best friend.

“Mari! If you think I would abandon you just because your mother took veganism too far… You’re utterly ridiculous!”

Marigold smiled slightly. Slowly, the green receded and her eyes turned back to normal. The dress remained, as without it she would end up naked and she didn’t fancy trying to explain to anyone that. 

She then turned to the plants and tried to order them to return to normal, only for them to resist. For a moment, her mind started to feel fogged, but it didn’t hold at all now. 

“As much as I like the scenery, maybe we stop the plantpocalypse?”

“Um… Remember how I told you I wasn’t akumatized?”

“Yeah?”

“I think the plants are…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Chloe shouted. “Listen here Hawkmoth! Get this Akuma the heck away! I don’t care about some fancy Jewels that will totally clash with your suit! I mean purple and white with red earrings? Are you colorblind?”

There was no visible reaction to the plants. 

“Strange…” Marigold ran her hand over the plants. “They still respond, just refuse to yield.” Inside, Mari cursed that she couldn’t consult Tikki.

“So… Want some cookies?” Chloe asked. “We just have to wait for Ladybug to save the day. At least the damage will be repaired.”

‘Except Ladybug it trapped here…’

Suddenly, something small and black slipped through the vines and entered their small peaceful enclave. It zoomed between items on the balcony, trying to avoid being seen. It would’ve been successful if Chloe didn’t know about Kwamis. 

“What was that!?” She shouted pointing at Plagg’s hiding place.

“What? I didn’t see anything!” Mari tried to lie. It was the one skill she never had. She did compensate for it by never getting caught.

“A Kwami! I’m sure I’ve seen one.” 

“Kwami? Who’s Kwami? Is that some bird? How would a bird get here? I mean we are trapped in…”

“Ugh! I don’t have time for games!” Plagg suddenly floated before the pair. “Chat is trapped and can’t help without revealing himself. Paris is being destroyed mindlessly and nobody can do anything as the vines are harder than steel.” The cat summarized. “And I’m hungry. Give me cheese!” He looked at Chloe. “Camembert would be the best, but I’m not that picky.”

“Why come to us? Ladybug took away my miraculous.” The blonde asked. 

“I didn’t come to you. I came to her.” The god pointed at Mari. 

“Me?! Why? It’s not like…”

“We don’t have time for charades guardian! The Akuma is out of control! Literally! Hawkmoth’s connection was somehow severed and now you have a giant plant that knows only the rage. This is serious!”

Mari wanted to protest or try to save some of her identity, but then Tikki floated out of her purse.

“Oh no! Marinette! He is right! We have a huge problem.”

“Why?” The girl asked resigned.

“You’re Ladybug!” Chloe shouted but was subsequently ignored

“Hawkmoth must’ve akumatized the plant, hoping to control you, but he had no idea it was sentient. But it stopped being sentient the moment you let it go. I… It never happened before.”

“You’re Ladybug!!!” Chloe shouted so loud that everyone had to look at her. 

“We can talk later. Now we need to somehow deal with the plants. Maybe… No. What about… But they are too tough… What if…” Marigold started to run through various scenarios and plans. 

“Can’t you just order them to expel the Akuma?” Plagg asked bored.

“It… It might work.” Mari had a focused expression. In her head, she was running through all her knowledge of biology, miraculous magic, and how her mom’s powers worked. Hesitantly, she walked to the edge of the cocoon and called the main vine to her. The wall spread slightly and allowed the tip of it to enter. Mari touched it and started gently caressing it. 

“you’re a good boy. Yeah! Who’s a good boy? You’re. Yes! You’re a good boy. But Good Boys don’t have Akuma. Do you want to be a good boy? Of course, you do…” 

Chloe stood there and watched how Marigold kept talking to the plant like it was a puppy. She felt something fall into her hand. Opening the palm, she saw two earrings.

“I… I can’t!” She protested, but Plagg floated before her eyes.

“She can’t do it. If Akuma escapes, we will have plantmagedon on a larger scale.”

“Fine. Spots on!”

Just as Mari finally talked the plant into expelling the Akuma, Chloe caught it. 

“Bye Bye Little Butterfly!” She released the pure white bug. “Lucky charm!” Chloe shouted. A red and black folder fell into her hands. She looked at it curiously. Inside, she found a complete set of adoption papers for her father to sign. She quickly pulled out the sheets and tossed the folder itself, releasing a swarm of ladybugs that repaired Paris to how it was before plants. The sheet stayed. 

Transformation dropped after that and Chloe handed the jewel back to the true owner.

“You still have sooo much explaining to do!” 

Nobody remembered about Adrien and Kagami being carried together to safety, which turned out to be Mari’s basement. And while Ladybug Cure should’ve restored them to where they were taken from, for some unknown reason they remained locked there until Mari returned late into the evening to spend the last night at the bakery. It would be some time until Tikki admitted that it was an act of revenge on Plagg for revealing her chosen’s identity. He had to go the whole day without cheese. The one good thing that came from it was that Kagami and Adrien had a long frank talk and ended up as friends. The relationship just wasn’t working.

----------

When Mari was adopted by the Mayor, she decided to keep using the Dupain-Cheng name at least for now. At first, Chloe’s father was against it, but once the girl presented it as a way of getting good press of mayor who personally looks after his citizens he practically ripped the papers to sign them. Although on paper he was the adopter, Chloe was the real parent/sister that took care of Mari. Lila seethed and spitted, but couldn’t really do much more. Adrien and Chloe roped Jagged Stone and Penny into Marinette Protection Squad. Luka and Kagami, who somehow hooked up, also joined. At some point, Mari entrusted Luka and Kagami with permanent Miraculous and Gave Chloe the Bee miraculous back. Some Fox illusion of Chloe publically applauding new heroine helped hide her identity. The hardest part was revealing to Chat, Viperion, and Ryuko her true identity. Adrien was a big surprise, but at least they finally dealt with their crushes once and for all. The fact that they were in love square in two people was way too awkward. Chloe and Mari did notice Adrien sometimes looking at Luka, but he was happy with Kagami. The only person that disproved of ‘Lukagami’ was Kagami’s mother, but she warmed up to him when he accepted the challenge to a duel and was completely pacified when she learned that Luka is apprenticing under Jagged Stone. 

Jagged and Penny wanted to Adopt Mari, but ended up filling the role of uncle and aunt. After some time, Mari realized that she rebuilt what she once had in Gotham. These people might not have been her family by blood, but it mattered little. That family might’ve been damaged, maybe even broken, but they were happy together. They found solace in one another. Once more, Marinette was happy. 

Until a trip to Gotham came knocking on the front doors.

NEXT

[strangestcase]

Would you talk a bit about Jervis Tetch? I can not get a read on his characterization. Like what is his personality? Is he even lucid...in a lot of Batman media he seems completely disconnected with reality, like moreso than the other rogues. And in fandom he's generally portrayed as sweet, childlike, and harmless. Is he dangerous as a villain, does he pose any threat at all? What are his motivations beyond wanting Batman's cowl? I want to understand this character better and how the fanon portrayal compares to canon.

To be fair I am not very invested in canon versions of Jervis because a good chunk of artists make him an incel (or worse, a pedo) and leave it at that. Maybe adding some badly researched disabilities for flavorTM because this is Batman, why not be ableist too. /s And while having a villain that is an entitled, nice-guy motherfucker is interesting, there’s more to his personality. Also I didn’t have any interest in him until like... six months ago, so I’m a bit out there. Still! Love this guy!

Now Jervis’ love for science and literature are a big part of his characterization, which carries over most depictions. So as of now assume that’s ALWAYS canon. He’s a creative soul, gotta give him that. And stylish.

Anyway, quick run down on what Jervis is:

-originally conceived as a hat-themed villain that stole hats and made mind control hats to *sighs* make people steal hats for him.

-depicted in the 1966 show as a stiff and humorless ruffian (but he had a very nice mustache!) who wants to make hats out of people’s skin and add Batman’s cowl to his headgear collection.

-eventually he got more alice in wonderland vibes as time went on such as him attempting to recreate scenes of the book with, again, mind control.

-he also got a sense of humor, emotions, the ability of being sympathetic and relatable, and a pet monkey for some fucking reason.

-I guess at that point the “entitled asshole” part of his personality emerged, and when it clashed with his manipulative, control-obsessed character, well, things started to go a bit deeper.

-the Mad Hatter gained much more popularity with the 90s animated show, that depicted him as a neurologist that started out making mind control devices and eventually turned to crime, opting for an Alice in Wonderland aesthetic because he’s a nerd and a theatre kid.

-BTAS Jervis fell in love with this girl called Alice, grew obsessed with her (stalking optional), and threw an incel fit when it was clear she only saw him as a friend at best, he FUCKING STRAIGHT UP MIND CONTROLS HER INTO LOVING HIM BACK.

-yes he knows it’s fucked but he’s all like lmao can’t help being a Gemini!!!!! most ”classic” depictions of the mad hatter follow this route really. we meet Jervis, Jervis is a nerd, Jervis goes on r/incel, *lemon demon voice* oh no.

-clasps hands together. yeah that’s all I know really he‘s Considered a bit of a B lister in a lot of batman media and DC is trying (?) to distance themselves from the character since they took the creative decision to make him a pedophile for no fucking reason at all which sucks.

-some Jervii (plural for Jervis) are British.

-hmmmm and he was supposed to have a mustache but they shaved him halfway and now most canon Jervii are blond OR bald because their ages vary a LOT.

NOW.

Is Jervis a sweet little man?

Hmmm. I wouldn’t say so. Not fully really. If you were to ask his friends (if Jonathan and Edward count???) then maybe he is. Or a woobie. Or actually a pretty capable guy. To his victims? He’s a sick fuck. Jervis being nice and sweet is plausible don’t get me wrong but we don’t get to see that side of him very often in Batman media. That’s fanon mostly, but then again some canon takes on Jervis are polite and gentlemanly, which kind of tracks? I guess it depends on how you see it.

In canon most of what you’ll see of him is scheming and trying to take over Gotham. Or trying to seduce attractive women called Alice because WE GET IT JERVIS YOU HAVE A TYPE.

However fanon usually is centered on his interactions with other villains, and most of the best fanon takes on Jervis are centered on how he looks naive and cute to those that aren’t aware of his manipulative, abusive nature. A lot of the broader fandom tends to, you know, forget he’s a borderline incel in like half of the Batman canons. He’s still a bad guy even if he’s all sob-by and sensitive and likes poetry and childrens’ classics and embroidery or whatever. Fanon just tends to portray him in his less feral moments, or woobiefy him even (and I fucking hate it, by the way, Jervis is an adult).

Otherwise, as for canon... the DC canon is HUGE and inconsistent. Depending on what sources you look at, you’ll get wildly different takes on what boils down to an alice in wonderland themed matrix man. Some versions of Jervis are lucid, some are very detached from reality, but usually they have this feeling of entitlement in common. Well, that, and childlike wonder I guess. I get the feeling he’s that kind of person that refuses to grow up: constantly living in a make believe world, distancing himself from real life, throwing a fit when things don’t go his way, and even worse— throwing a fit when other people‘s feelings get in the way of his own.

(For some reason he gives me Disney Adult vibes.)

All in all, yes, he’s a kindly little guy, but when it’s convenient to him, and even underneath all the 3edgy5me wonderland aesthetic he’s still just... some shy nerd that refuses to face reality, either by force or by choice.

(My Jervis is a Disney Adult because I thought it’d be funny.)

I guess most Gotham Rogues have this thing in which they’ve been written, re-written, and adapted in so many forms of media by so many authors the canon is sprawling and contradictory. At this point every single writer has their own take on Jervis and the fandom does too, but this goes for all rogues and... every single Batman char really.

It’s like a modern day Robin Hood mythos. But with weird men in weird hats! Er... weirder men in weirder hats.

[krenbotvt]

What The Fans Of (Almost) Every Scarecrow Design Are Like Just by Surveying Rogue Tumblr for Approx: 5 Months. (Not in any particular order. Also this is a meme.)

Year One: You probably needed a childhood to relate to/needed a justifiable reason to stan one of Gotham’s biggest criminals. (but if your childhood involves being half-eaten by crows i am VERY concerned)  BTAS: The gateway drug Scarecrow. You’re probably a gremlin, and also really like the Dork Squad(tm)  TNBA: He’s under-appreciated, and you know this very well, but you’re also thankful that you get some of the coolest artwork of your favorite spooky boy. (Also the voice. 11/10 you want him to read sleepy hollow to you.) TAOB: You are one of the only 3 living fans of Adventures Of Batman Scarecrow, but you give absolutely no shit. You love that uncanny valley, near on clown-like scarecrow, and i feel bad for you, because you’ll probably never get art of them. Super Friends: I...Wow. Y’all really do exist... Galactic Guardians: YOU GUYS ACTUALLY EXIST TOO??? BATB: JAZZY. You like his hat, and his voice. You also probably enjoy a lot of older scarecrow designs as well. You get sad because you wish there were more content.  The Batman (TV series): PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (But seriously though, you poor, poor things...There, There...) Assault On Arkham: AA Scarecrow in an otherwise good movie. Basically, you’re sad he didn’t get more screen-time. At this point, just stan: Arkham Asylum: ABSOLUTE GOBLIN OF A HUMAN. One of the gateway drug Scarecrows that lead you to The Rogues fanbase in the first place. You either love the serious artwork of him, love him drawn/written as a gremlin, or are STILL offended by his lack of footwear. Either way, you adore him and will remind everyone of it. Arkham Knight: OH FUCKING BOY. This can go one of two ways. 1.You love his writing (or don’t, but still stan), his poetic dialogue and his voice, and you also love how much he hams up the fear factor. You probably adore every artwork of him you see, and you REALLY love reading any fan-written material of him. You have many headcanons, and probably have googled A LOT of stuff to make them more genuine.  Or 2. You are very, VERY horny... (But as a good friend once said, “these are not mutually exclusive.”) Nightwing And Robin: Aw, y’all are so cute! Here, have some tea with the SF AND GG Fans, I think they have Earl Grey over in the CORNER OF IRRELEVANCY. (But I feel bad for y’all too.) Unlimited: BEEF BOY. You’re either in the group of people that love Scarecrow designs that use scythes, or you like how strange, yet fun his appearance is. Most art of him is super colorful too. There aren’t very many of you, but the amount of you that I’ve seen seem like super cool people. You all probably also enjoy the next one: Batman/TMNT: You knew the movie was a wild ride from start to finish, but you love it. You probably also like birds (I know, really obvious.) There aren’t many of you, but you like the idea of a corvid-like Scarecrow, and you wish for more. Or...You may be a furry that also likes DC stuff, and that’s ok too! We too also oddly love that weird ass cobra joker anyways.  Salecrow: You love his rhyming (which is arguably the best thing about him), but are also annoyed by the fact that most content of him use the same 3 images every time. You’re probably in the same boat as all the other scarecrow fans that genuinely want a proper medieval themed version of him. If you write/draw him, you’ve googled endless nursery rhymes. Its like Dr.Seuss up in this bitch. Also, them hands. Blackest Night: Chances are you’re still amazed that your favorite bag-headed master of fear even HAS that thing. You REALLY want him to wear that damn ring again, and will probably pay an arm and a leg to see it happen in a form of animated media. You also have very interesting artwork/writings of him. And your head canons are outlandish, but in the most fun way. (Seriously though, Hatter with a ring, huh...) Injustice: You either love the concept of The ScareBeast, or you’re here for the fact that hes voice by FREAKING ROBERT ENGLUND. Admittedly, you probably aren’t all too good at fighting games, but you still insta-lock him despite that.  The Dark Knight: Cillian Murphy portrays the character rather well, but you either are unnerved by his strangely dreamboyish face, or would wish for a slightly older actor. But!!! Despite all that!!! You love him, and probably still quote “WaNnA sEe My MaSK???” (Although I see some of you get absolutely tired of that lol) I don’t see any loyal fans of him, but everyone seems to agree that he’s not too shabby (heheh... shabby...) Gotham (Tv Series): ...Hello? Where are you guys? I KNOW you exist! Show yourselves! Jokes aside, you either love him or hate him. Live action scarecrows seem to be a hit or miss for some.  Harley Quinn (Tv Series): Softies. You adore everything about him. His dialogue, his humor, his very surprising accent, and his, albeit a stretch, questionable sexuality implications. Most art of him is very wholesome and good, probably because you’re STILL not over...Well... Maybe its better if I not mention it (all fans of him are the “If I see anything happen to them I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself” meme.). Detective Comics: Hroo Hraa, my friends. Hroo Hraa. Whether it’s his “Queer grasshopper leaps” or his strange laughter onomatopoeia, you can’t get enough of his antics. Nothing beats a classic, and the fact that there are still many of you that are fans of him makes me smile. New 52/Prime Earth: One of the few scarecrows that greatly changes his childhood, but you welcome the idea of it. He’s a very unsettling looking guy, but you’ll remind everyone that his writing makes up for it. He’s mostly treated like a semi-C tier villain in the continuity, but every time you see him you’re like “!!!!!!!”.You most likely have a list of every issue he appears in so you don’t have to suffer, and your heart still breaks when you read the scene with him and that one girl. (He said he was sorry, guys.) Batman:Hush: 2 and a half sweet and savory minutes of this guy, only for him to get kicked in the face? Nay, Nay, you say! A crime, you holler! You go to your keyboard to tell your friend about how good his character design is, and how well animated he was, but alas they say “that’s nice, bud.” Blast it all... The Lego Batman Movie/Lego in general: Our boy at his most gremlin. Sure, you know this is a 99% children’s medium, but that doesn’t stop you from smiling like a dummy every time you see him. He’s funny, he’s delightful, and he has... a weird obsession with planes? What is it with them and putting him in planes? Maybe he got a pilot’s license before he attended university? What a smart little block person!  Obviously, I left out quite a few here, but these seem to be the most popular. There are SO many comic renditions of him, so It’d take my forever. (My poor fingies already hurt!) But please enjoy this silly little thing :’] 

[galahadwilder]

Hey! I'm following you for ML stuff, but I finally figured out you were into Batman as well, took me awhile. Do you have any advice on where to start for people who want to get into it? I just want to know which Robin is which when I read fanfiction hahaha. Thank youu

So the first thing to know is that there is no single Batman comic that will explain the entire Batfamily, because there are so many of them that the Manor must be running out of bedrooms by now. The second thing is that I’m not great at figuring out a starting place—a lot of comics are sort of aggressively mediocre and I can’t exactly tell the standout ones from the bad. Anyone who has any suggestions for anon, feel free to comment with them!

(In terms of fanfic recs: read literally anything by @unpretty. They are a wizard. Their fanfic is so good it has literally won awards.)

Now, a brief introduction to every member of the Batfamily that I can currently remember—save Alfred and Batman, who I am assuming you already know.

The Robins

Dick Grayson (Robin I, Nightwing II, and Batman IV). Richard John Grayson was a former child acrobat, member of the flying Graysons, and the first child adopted by Bruce Wayne. He is a human disaster of a Hufflepuff who makes terrible life choices, leaves his Nightwing costume on the floor of his apartment where literally anyone can see it, and doesn’t know how to cook anything but cereal. Despite his terrible lack of self-sufficiency, actually gives amazing life advice and is the heart and soul of the Batclan. There are villains who are willing to kill to protect him.

Jason Todd (Robin II, The Red Hood II, Red Robin I, Batman III). Jason Todd is the ballsiest Robin, having met Batman while attempting to steal the tire from the Batmobile, and, upon being confronted by the Goddamn Batman, decided the best course of action was to attack him with a tire iron. Jason is passionate and impulsive, but also extremely studious and intelligent. Well-liked despite his abrasiveness. He is the first Robin to die in the line of duty; when he came back, he and Bruce had a falling out over not killing the Joker, and now their relationship is rather shaky. Jason uses guns and has moonlighted as a crime boss in order to better control Gotham’s criminal element from the inside, which works mostly because he has nerves of steel and the ability to spin stunningly convincing bullshit at the drop of a hat.

Carrie Kelley (Robin II.5): See “Elseworlds and Future.”

Tim Drake (Robin III, Red Robin II, Drake I, Batman Beyond II): Tim has the greatest intellect of the Batclan; however, unlike Barbara (see “Batgirls”), Tim’s wisdom score is through the bloody floor. He figured out Batman and Robin’s identities on his own, and after Jason died he walked up to Bruce and basically told him “I know who you are and I’m Robin now,” which... worked. Tim is the least physically gifted of the Robins, but he makes up for it in detective skills and tactical intelligence. He was the only Robin to still have living parents outside of the Batfamily, though they were murdered soon into his career. He dropped out of high school and was acting CEO of Wayne Enterprises for a time. He has crippling depression and is implied to be suicidal.

Stephanie Brown (Spoiler I, Robin IV, Batgirl III): see under “Batgirls.”

Damian Wayne (Robin V): Damian is the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul, and was raised—unbeknownst to his father—by his mother and grandfather to be an assassin, as well as to be the best at literally everything (for context: despite being a young teenager, he technically holds multiple unaccredited PHDs). However, this stunted his social development, so he is rude and abrasive almost constantly, though he has been getting better and his closest friends and family can see that he’s covering for a superiority/inferiority complex a mile deep. Damian has a constant need to prove himself and has taken up his father’s adoption habit, though he prefers animals. Animals are better than people.

Duke Thomas (Robin ??, The Signal): Duke Thomas was the first metahuman Bruce allowed into the Batfamily. Originally decided to take on The Riddler by himself at the age of... seven or so? Eventually joined a collective called “We Are Robin” and fought crime, unsanctioned. After his parents were driven mad by Joker Venom, Bruce took him in. He now fights crime in the daytime, unlike the rest of the Batfamily, using his nebulously-defined extrasensory abilities to augment his Batfamily training.

The Batgirls

Barbara Gordon (Batgirl I, Oracle I): while Tim may be the most intelligent member of the Batclan, Babs is the all-around smartest. Her intellect is damned high, and unlike most of the Batfamily, Barbara is actually capable of making good decisions. She just... decides not to, most of the time. Barbara is the daughter of Commissioner James Gordon and was the first Batgirl; she lost the use of her legs when Joker shot her in the spine, but refused to take a backseat in the Batclan’s war on crime and became Oracle, hacker extraordinaire who directs the activities of every single vigilante in Gotham from her clocktower lair. She has since regained the use of her legs and reclaimed the Batgirl mantle, turning Oracle into a living AI.

Helena Wayne (Batgirl I.5, Huntress I): see “Elseworlds and Future.”

Cassandra Cain/Wayne (Batgirl II, Black Bat I, Orphan I): Cassandra is the daughter of assassins Lady Shiva and David Cain, and had what is hands-down the worst childhood of the entire Batfamily (her father would shoot her in the leg, and if she flinched, he’d shoot her again). She was raised without spoken words, and as a result the language centers of her brain are more adapted for body language than words. This gives her a kind of combat clairvoyance where it’s nearly impossible for a human combatant to surprise her. After her first murder, she swore to never again take a life, and joined the Batclan to atone. I personally believe that she is Bruce’s favorite child and the true heir to the mantle of the Bat.

Stephanie Brown (Spoiler I, Robin IV, Batgirl III): the daughter of Arthur Brown, a criminal known as Cluemaster, Stephanie became a vigilante specifically to oppose her father and then just had a bunch of mission creep. She is brash, sarcastic, and reckless, but has oodles of passion and natural talent. DC editors hate her, so she ends up screwing up or getting pushed aside a lot, but she is much more competent than she appears and is extremely good at getting people to underestimate her.

Others

Kate Kane (Batwoman I): Kate Kane is Bruce’s cousin, dishonorably discharged from the military under “dont ask don’t tell,” though this has likely been retconned thanks to DC’s sliding timescale. She is actually specifically not connected to the Batfamily, being more of an auxiliary member by her own choice—as a military woman, she dislikes their methods and considers them sloppy. She uses guns, has her own rogues’ gallery unconnected to her cousin’s, and is extremely competent.

Jean-Paul Valley (Azrael I, Batman II): Jean-Paul believed himself to be an ordinary college student, but was in fact a genetically modified super-soldier created to punish the wicked through the use of magic and advanced technology. He eventually broke his conditioning thanks to Batman and joined the family, even taking over for Batman briefly after Bane broke his back. (This proved to be a terrible decision.) He fights using powered armor and enchanted medieval weaponry.

Harper Row (Bluebird I): I know very little about Harper except that she is openly bisexual and uses hilariously oversized sci-fi guns.

Claire Clover (Gotham Girl I): a metahuman with Superman-like abilities; however, the more she uses them, the faster her lifespan burns away. Last I checked, she was working with Bane for some reason to do bad things to Batman. Don’t know why. She’s odd.

Lonnie Machin (Anarky I, Moneyspider I): may or may not be the son of The Joker. Lonnie is a genius Anarchist, but not of the “bomb-throwing” variety—in fact, he detests bombers. Briefly acted as Tim’s Oracle, since, thanks to extensive neurological self-modification, he’s one of the few people in Gotham who is actually more intelligent than Tim is.

Helena Bertinelli (Huntress II, Batgirl briefly I think?): daughter of a crime family that got wiped out by a rival crime family. However, she didn’t know her family was mafia, and as a vigilante in Gotham ended up trying to operate under Batman’s rules. Wasn’t very good at that—she’s a bit too vicious and brutal, despite her attempts to rein herself in. Uses crossbows primarily.

Elseworlds & Future

Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond I): the definitive future Batman. Thanks to Amanda Waller and superscience shenanigans, Terry is the biological son of Bruce Wayne. He wears a highly advanced batsuit that is closer to powered armor than a costume, which gives Iron Man a run for his money. Unlike Bruce’s obsessive preparedness, Terry’s skillset lies in improvisation.

Carrie Kelley (Robin II.5): the Robin of the dystopian timeline of The Dark Knight Returns. It’s been a while since I read DKR, so I don’t remember much about her.

Helena Wayne (Batgirl I.5, Huntress I): Bruce and Selina’s daughter from another dimension.

[batrxgues]

Okay I haven't gotten any sleep last night and I'm feeling a bit petty so let's go.

"The Joker isn't a valid villain" Yes he is. He is one of the most iconic villains of all time. This argument however, is invalid.

"The Joker is just edgy for the sake of being edgy" Not really. Depends on the version, remember this is comics and there are so many adaptations out there. Lego Joker and 60s Joker are fun, Dark Knight Joker is dark, BTAS Joker is fun but scary, 2004 Joker is a fun character, etc. etc. Yes there are edgy versions of the Joker (Suicide Squad) but the Joker isn't the only character that deals with this. Other rogues also get edgy interpretations, like Harley in some comics and Gods and Monster's Harley are just edgy.

"But the Joker abused Harley!" Okay, he is a bad guy. Your point? This is the Gotham Rogues fandom, every rogue has done horrible things. In one comic Oswald literally sold a girl back into sex slavery. In another comic Edward got obsessive and stalked a woman until he got bored of her and killed her. Need I remind you of that comic where Jonathan literally experiments on a child? Y'all remember that time that Harvey went after Renee and he outed her? Hell, Harley isn't innocent either, she has done horrible things too! These are villains!

"The Joker doesn't deserve a movie, we don't need another edgy film. What about the rogues, they deserves the spotlight!" Like I said earlier, the Joker is DC's most profitable and iconic villains, of course they are going to give him a movie, and what do you know, it did well. Also, you are aware it's not just the Joker who takes attention away from the other rogues right? There is another but for now I'm just gonna leave it at that, maybe save it for another post idk.

It's okay to not like the Joker, like and dislike whoever you want, it's just exhausting seeing these same arguments over and over again in the tags.

[haleyreads4you]

No Laughing Matter

Why Gotham’s Crown Prince of Crime Doesn’t Deserve a Backstory

If you haven’t heard, DC is releasing a new live action movie entitled The Joker, scheduled to be released on October 4th later this year.  The movie is supposed to take us on a journey to see the beginning of this notorious villain, and hopefully give a better understanding on why he is the way he is. Usually this is fantastic! Villains, bad guys, antagonist, whatever you call them, are always so much more interesting when you get to see the reasoning behind their actions, and after all the Joker has done, who wouldn’t want to know. The short answer, is me. 

The longer answer, (which I’m about to give you,) is that honestly, no real DC or Batman fan should want to see a Joker backstory. Believe it or not, he actually has one already, and I promise you it’s not going to be the one you see in the movie. It simply isn’t that complex. If you can’t tell, I am a huge DC, (especially the Batfam,) fan, and if you’re not that’s okay! I’m honestly shocked if you read this far without being a DC fan. Nonetheless, I’m going to be giving as much background as I possibly can to flush out my points throughout this, so you don’t have to possess prior knowledge. Now, I will not claim to be an expert on DC, or Batman, and especially not on the Joker himself, but I do like to think I know quite a bit. That being said, if I miss something, or get the facts wrong, feel free to refute me! A huge point of all these dumb essays I’m writing is to get the conversation going! Now with all the logistics and introductions out of the way, here’s why I think the Joker doesn’t deserve his own movie (or back story.)

The Joker is arguably the most famous of Batman’s rogues. With countless reiterations, and big name stars playing him in adaptation after adaptation, it’s no wonder that he’s built up a name for himself. Not only that, but the Joker is one villain whose actions we simply can’t explain. We know Two-Face, AKA Harvey Dent, was seriously disfigured after a man he prosecuted threw acid on his face, destroying his lucky coin in the process. The incident made him crazy, and he wrecks havoc on the city with his destroyed coin asking people “heads or tails?” We know Mr. Freeze, AKA Victor Fries, became a criminal after a failed attempt to save his terminally ill wife left him with sub-zero body temperatures, forcing him to wear the cryo suit forever. His involvement with crime is him still attempting to raise funds to find a cure for her. We know one of my personal favorites, Scarecrow, AKA Dr. Jonathan Crane, an ex psychology professor at Gotham University remains obsessed with the idea of fear and phobias. He now uses the citizens of Gotham as his lab rats to test his ever evolving fear toxin. I could keep going on, (Batman has an impressive rogue gallery,) but the point is we know why all the villains do the things that they do. We don’t know that for the Joker, and out of all of Batman’s rogues, he’s the one that continues to commit the most heinous crimes of all. It leaves us all asking why? Why does he do the things he does? It even leaves Batman stumped. Heck, it leaves other villians stumped!! Ra’s Al Ghul, head of the League of Shadows, has said he doesn’t like working with the Joker, because he’s wild and unpredictable. According to this logic, the Joker should be first in line to get his own back story.

To find the reason why he shouldn’t we have to look pretty far back in this character’s history. When the Joker first appeared in the Batman comics, he never appeared simply as “the Joker.” Multiple iterations of this simplistic “backstory” have been done, and can also be seen as far back as Batman: Year One, (even though the “Joker” himself is not actually featured,) but each time the Joker always appears, it is always first as an unassuming lowlife calling himself “the Red Hood.” This is so freaking important to how the Joker impacts the characters around him, and I’ll tell you why soon, but I can almost guarantee you it is not going to be in the new Joker film. Not only is this Red Hood portion of the Joker’s career important for reasons to be later explained, but it’s also important that in multiple, though not all, iterations of the Joker’s introduction it’s Batman’s fault. Not inherently of course. Batman always catches the Red Hood in some kind of factory, (a popular location is a playing card factory,) and in an attempt to catch him, the Red Hood always ends up falling into a vat of acid. This is the vat of acid that of course warps his appearance, (the white skin, green hair, and red lips,) and what ultimately drives him mad. In how he actually gets in the vat, well sometimes he jumps on purpose, because he’s been cornered by the Bat, sometimes he just slips, and Bruce is too late to catch him, but either way it’s always something that weighs on Bruce. It’s another reason on top of Batman’s no kill policy that he can’t bring himself to end the Joker. Despite paralyzing Barbra Gordon as Batgirl and murdering his son, Bruce can’t end the Joker, because he partly feels like the Joker is his fault. It’s his mess that he made, and a mess that he has to fix.

This introduction of the Joker as the Red Hood and tying his creation to a young emerging Batman is so important to the characters’ relationships to each other throughout their still changing course of comic history, that to negate it with this upcoming movie is almost like recreating a brand new villain. It is also important to note that because the Joker started out as a masked criminal, he remains a John Doe to this very day in comic history. This is crucial to not understanding the Joker, (an important aspect of his character,) because any time a new rogue pops up, Bruce tries his damndest to learn their real identity. Identifying the person beneath the horror helps him better know what angle to work at when going up against them, as well as what to look for, and realizing that violence usually isn’t the best answer for dealing with them. By keeping the Joker a John Doe, it keeps not only us, the audience, in the dark about trying to understand this psychotic character, but the characters in universe in the dark as well. By not knowing the Joker’s past or intentions, it actually makes him scarier, because it leaves him unpredictable, and, in a sense, strips him of his humanity. By giving this character an actual identity, you destroy the mysterious unknown behind the character, make him human enough than an audience can relate to him, and almost, in a sense, strip him of what makes him a good villain in the first place.

Now my last, and what I personally view as one of the most important reasons, on why the Joker really shouldn’t have his own movie, is because it would destroy his tragically beautiful connection to Jason Todd. If you missed it earlier, I briefly mentioned that the Joker killed Bruce’s son, and that was because I planned to go more in depth now.

I need to stop referencing material that hasn’t been written yet. If you don’t know, Jason Todd is the second character to take on the mantle of Robin. Yes, there was more than one Robin. As of current day material, there are four officially recognized holders of the mantle, (sorry Stephanie,) in the order of Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy Drake, and the current only blood son of Burce, Damian Wayne. Jason was taken in by Bruce off of Crime Alley, after he was found trying to steal the cars off of the Batmobile. Officially adopting him as his own and taking him under his wing, Bruce soon hands the mantle of Robin to Jason as Dick had recently left, and the two take to the streets fighting crime and punching bad guys. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last very long, and Jason ends up beaten nearly to death by the Joker with a crowbar in an abandoned warehouse before the Joker blows it up, seconds before Bruce arrives. Oh no. (There’s a very iconic picture of Bruce holding Jason’s dead body, if you google “batman a death in the family.) This was an absolutely pivotal part to Bruce’s character. How Bruce acts after the death of Jason had been unseen before. He became violent and angry, and almost crossed the line he swore to himself he’d never cross. Jason’s death is a staple in DC comic lore.

That isn’t the important part here though. The important part is what comes after. See, 95% of the time, if a character dies in the DC Universe, it’s not for very long, because comics. A couple of years later, Jason is brought back to life via the Lazarus Pit with the help of the League of Assassins. As I’m writing this, it is one in the morning, and I am too tired to explain why the Shadows were involved. If you’re really interested, there’s a crap ton of information on it on wikis and stuff, so it won’t be hard to find. Anyways, Jason comes back to life really messed up and in a murderous rage. He heads back to Gotham to hunt down Bruce but this time not as Jason Todd, not as Robin, but as the Red Hood. It’s perfect cinematic poetry! Yes, cinematic!! Under the Red Hood is one of the most famous comic books about Jason Todd’s return, as well as arguably one of the best DC animated films of all time! But that’s not the point. The point is, that Jason Todd comes back from the dead, and the alias he takes up is the same alias that his killer once owned. Jason does eventually kind of come back to the “good side” as a sort of anti hero, but the parallels between him and the Joker are gorgeous. Both driven mad after being thrown into a vat of mysterious liquid, except for where it was the Joker’s before, it’s Jason’s after. The idea of a young boy being beaten to death, only to come back and take the name of his killer should shake you to your core. Not only that, but imagine Bruce’s horror when he realizes there’s another terror ripping through his city bearing the same name his arch nemesis first wore. And that’s before he even realizes it’s his resurrected son! You can’t dismiss writing like that, especially when it comes to comic books! DC especially, openly admitted that its story lines take place in the multiverse, which basically means anything goes. That’s where you get stories like The Flashpoint Paradox and Crisis on Two Earths. The fact that this idea of the Red Hood being passed down from the Joker to Jason seems to be a universal constant cannot be overlooked. By giving the Joker a more in depth backstory that strays from the one that currently exists, you rip that hard work out of the author’s hands, as well as destroy an impactful connection between some of the Batman Universe’s best and most complex characters.

This whole thing ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, so thank you if you made it to the end. All of this being said, I stand by my opinion that out of all that characters in the DC universe, the Joker should be at the end of the line to get his own movie. Will I still end up seeing it in theatres? The jury’s out right now. I’m a broke college kid living in New York; there are more things I want to see than a movie I don’t think should exist. I might watch it one day, as the assumption that all of these points won’t be made in the movie is made purely off of the trailers and not the content of the film itself. If I ever do watch it, y’all will be the first to know, but until then this is where I stand. Don’t let this ruin the film for you if you planned on going to go watch it. Like stated in the beginning, these are all my own opinions, and I prefer the comics to the movies. The movies can also be seen as existing in their own realm, and in that case none of my points stand at all. It’s up to you to make your own judgement.

But ask yourself this, as you sit down in the theatre with a large tub of popcorn. What do you think people will benefit from trying to see into the mind of the one of the world’s most famous psychopath?

[judedeluca]

BTW, not trying to convince you of anything, I haven't read Shazam! and feel... Complicated about Geoff Johns. Is that a sentence? Not a native English speaker.

Ah, my bad.

Please note if I get testy during this it is absolutely NOT aimed at you in any way, but it’s just how I feel about Johns.

Okay so Geoff Johns was one of the three current comic writers who got me into buying comics on a regular basis in 2005, alongside Grant Morrison and Gail Simone. I was following Johns’ “Teen Titans,” Morrison’s “Seven Soldiers,” and Simone’s “Villains United.”

What got me into Johns’ “TT” was, I was already a Titans fan, but I saw he introduced a version of Batwoman based on Bette Kane. Bette was the original Batgirl in the Silver Age, the niece to Batwoman Kathy Kane, but no one ever referenced that anymore and I love Betty so I wanted to know more.

I was supporting Johns’ Teen Titans as well as his Legion related stuff, JSA, and some of his Green Lantern writing too…

But then came Brightest Day and I began to realize the man had a disturbing tendency to rely on mutilating and dismembering characters, including a lot of Titans such as Pantha, Baby Wildebeest, Damage, and Tempest, as well as Legionnaires like Kinetix. Tempest especially bothered me because apparently Johns didn’t like him because he wasn’t “Bad ass” like Hal Jordan, so Johns went out of his way to kill Tempest’s entire family in “Infinite Crisis” before having his zombie girlfriend murder him.

Flashpoint and The New 52 only solidified my dislike for the man, as I absolutely HATED his Justice League and Aquaman stuff and only supported them because my friend worked on the titles as an inker.

Looking back on his older stuff I saw a lot of other stuff I disliked. There was his gross racist handling of Judomaster in JSA where he retconned out her ability to speak English to pair her up with Damage via having him teach her English, even though in Birds of Prey a year prior she could speak English perfectly.

With his Legion of Super-Heroes writing he retconned Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl, turning Garth into a hothead who barely went a single panel without screaming at someone while Imra could barely control him. The woman used to be called “Iron Ass Imra” and he essentially ripped out her spine. These two had one of the best marriages in the DCU and he ruined it with his toxic masculine bullshit. Thank God Paul Levitz managed to fix this mess.

He also tried to downplay and/or erase Lightning Lass’s queerness by putting her back together with her ex-boyfriend Timber Wolf, ignoring her steady relationship with her girlfriend Shrinking Violet. The two of them were one of the earliest lesbian couple DC had (even if they couldn’t outright say it) but nope, Ayla’s back with Brin like Violet didn’t exist. Again, Paul Levitz rectified this problem.

He turned Star Boy into a caricature of schizophrenics by retconning him into being mentally ill and having him serve as the wacky comic relief in the JSA when he wasn’t breaking the fourth wall or dropping foreshadowing. So basically a ripoff of Deadpool. His whole JSA run really hasn’t aged well.

His Teen Titans consisted of making Superboy obsessed with being a clone of Lex Luthor and Superman, made Wonder Girl obsessed with Superboy, and he drove Rose Wilson insane to make her the new Ravager which included her graphically gouging out her own eye after her father pumped her full of drugs.

His love for Barry Allen and Hal Jordan blatantly outshines his work with the other Flash and Green Lantern characters, and he’s essentially crafted a sequel to Watchmen no one asked for or needed in order to absolve Barry Allen, God of the Silver Age, of ruining the DCU by blaming it all on Doctor Manhattan.

He’s also obsessed with portraying morally grey men and downright evil men like Captain Cold, Sinestro, Black Adam, and Superboy Prime as flawed individuals who are, at the end of the day heroic, when they do completely horrible things and never get punished for them. Cold’s a hypocrite with how he’ll ignore certain Rogues breaking his precious rules but then makes a big deal of how other villains violate said rules. SInestro is a sociopath who murdered Kyle Rayner’s mother in cold blood just to break Kyle’s will, but still gets to be remembered as a great Green Lantern. Adam brutally slaughters people like the Psycho Pirate and almost no one complains. And Prime is a monster who’s murdered children and pregnant woman, including an entire world, but is still considered a victim. He’s now added Doctor Manhattan to the list, since he claims a man who orchestrated the death of Alan Scott and casually fucked up an entire universe simply to see what would happen is somehow not a villain.

Whatever small bits of writing from him I still like are not enough for me to still be an overall fan of him. I don’t care what he’s done with Shazam, I don’t care if people think it’s been really good. If other people like it I’m happy they’re enjoying it.

But really, fuck him. Fuck him a million times over. I hope there comes a day when DC throws his ass out the door along with Didio, Eddie Berganza, Tom King, James Robinson, Bob Harras, Scott Lobdell. Jim Lee, and all the other fake geek guy assholes who’ve practically ruined DC’s characters for all of us.

Geoff Johns makes me sick to my stomach as a comic fan, a writer, a man, and a human being.

Yet there is still a part of me that wonders, looking back on the stuff he did for Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E., what someone at that fucking company must’ve done to him. And I do feel bad his work keeps getting interfered with by editors, just not enough to absolve him of his own individual grossness.

[zippdementia]

Part 53 Alignment May Vary: What to do About Those Pesky Dragons!

This was a short session almost entirely taken up by a single combat. I’ll get to that in a moment. First of all, some housekeeping. Before we leave the temple of Maaken, Trakki announces he has something to do. He takes Trellara and lelads her into the altar room.

Trellara is smitten with Traki, but she is not stupid. The temple of Maaken already has an evil reputation and each step she takes into the temple seems to confirm this. She lingers for a moment at the mural showing the three figures rising to rule the world, but she does not comment on it. When they reach the altar room, her doubts finally settle into fear and then a terrible sort of comprehension. This is due in part to a natural 20 on her insight roll, but probably has more to do with the giant pulsating blob of horrible meaty parts resting in the corner of the altar room, yet in clear view (the Soul Jar).

Trellara draws her scimitars but seems unwilling to accuse Traki. The thought of him betraying her is too awful. “No,” is all she says. “I am sorry,” is all he replies, though no sorrow enters his voice. Then he is on her, stabbing at her with the Dagger of Erythnul, burrying it in her shoulder. It’s evil properties drain the life from her and while she is stunned he open palm strikes her, knocking her unconscious.

A dry cackle comes from out of the shadows and the old woman with the slit throat, who once made honey cakes but whom we now know Traki previously murdered and turned into an undead, approaches. “Nazragul is pleased by your decision,” Mama Honeycakes says.

“Then ask him to tell me how to perform the ritual that made you what you are. But I want it better this time. I want her to rise more powerful than before.”

Mama Honeycakes smiles a broken smile.

Soon the ritual is set. Trellara lies with her chest and heart exposed on the altar. Over her hovers Traki, his arm slit open and the blood gushing over her form, staining her white face red. Sitting on her naked skin are pieces of the soul jar, pulsating slowly in the blue torch flame that lights this area. Traki has drawn a rune on Trellara’s chest, over her heart. Next to him stands Nysyries, supervising the work, for she is one who can manipulate the magical weave while Traki is a stranger to that world. Luck alone, and the power of the dagger,  showed him how to bring the old woman back. Now he wants something more than luck.

“Now we begin,” she says, in Nazragul’s throaty growl.

So what’s happening here is a couple of arcana rolls. DC 15 on the first one, to see if Trellara can become anything other than a slobbering zombie who will follow Traki around slowly like a dangerous pet. He passes this, but only barely and with the help of Nysyries aiding him and a fate point (+1 to any roll, remember these? We use them a lot). The second test is to see whether Trellara becomes blood crazed or maintains a semblance of control over her new powers. This he succeeds at wildly!

The dagger plunges into Trellara’s heart, piercing the center of the rune on its way there. Trellara moans, whether in pain or ecstasy, Traki cannot tell. The pieces of the soul jar suddenly move for the wound in the chest, squeezing themselves inside of it, while the blood Traki smeared on Trellara’s face and body seems to be sucked up by her skin, disappearing into it like water poured over dry sand. Trellara sucks in a breath. Her skin has gone whiter than before. Her eyes have sunken back in her head. Her teeth have become sharp points. Yet despite this, she seems to have retained her beauty, unnatural as it might now be. She looks around like a newborn. The hole in her chest reveals a softly beating heart. She demurely covers it with her clothing.

“You have freed me,” she says in wonder to Traki.

Tyrion Ragedrinker, also known as the Blue Bard, sits outside the temple sharpening his axe. He looks up when the three emerge and briefly lets his eyes rest on the new Trellara. “Well, there’s that, then,” he says, and goes back to sharpening his axe.

Trellara has become a wight, with all the good and bad that brings with it. She is pretty powerful now, if not the sturdiest fighter. Definitely more powerful than before! And Traki’s successful ritual means she retains her beautiful voice and a sense of self. She’s a little odd right now, crying tears of blood without knowing why she is crying, and tearing out the feathers of her owl as slowly as possible to see how it reacts (Nysyries has them bent to her will, using her powers to make them actually enjoy being afraid of the group... they are a little twitchy, but they obey). But eventually she will learn to adapt to her new body and will be able to fit in almost as well as any of them. She doesn’t like sunlight, though, and becomes sluggish and less charismatic under its glare. The group is going to have some fun roleplay challenges when they reach Brindol, considering they will have to hide their evil nature during that entire chapter. This just adds to the fun and gives them a powerful NPC ally to boot!

Dragon Leftovers

I have long been dissatisfied with how Red Hand of Doom handles its end game with the Dragons. I’m going to jump ahead a bit here (my players, if you are reading, I’ll keep this vague and spoiler free)... So you’re powering through Red Hand of Doom, having a good time, and then you get to the end of the adventure and, oh, guess what? Your party didn’t kill all the dragons. So now they have to fight them all AT ONE TIME. This is supposed to be a punishment for players who didn’t succeed at routing dragons throughout the adventure and to be honest, it is not an impossible fight to win, depending on your players’ levels and how many there are. But dragons are tough. Young dragons have a CR of somewhere between 7-10, depending on their type. Now, one of these may actually not pose enough of a threat to your party. But two or three of them at once?

Not that I’m saying non-legendary Dragons should fight alone (we’ve seen how that worked back at the Sunken City of Rhest) but they should be paired up with lesser minions meant to keep players from being able to focus fire on them and pin them down, maybe CR 2s or 3s or even a couple 4s if the party is really tough and needs a challenge. You’ll see this happen in the storm battle I’ve set up for Ozyrandion, below. I used Xanathar’s guide for this fight. Looking at Xanathar’s guide, five level 9 characters are said to be equal to taking on a level eight challenge, but I’m not sure I agree with that in practice. At least in my group, I’ve seen two of my party (Traki and Tyrion) take on Ozyrandion at the bridge by themselves and do okay, and that was back at level 6 or 7. At level 9 I have no doubt that all three of them would destroy a single young green dragon and honestly two of them could hold their own in a fight. Thus, I treat my players more like level 13 when using Xanathar’s guide to set difficultly. There are a lot of things that could factor into why this happens in my group, like the fact that we allow epic maneuvers like grappling in mid-air, or it could be the NPCs they travel with, or their aggressive tactics, or my poor rolls, but it seems to balance out a lot better.

Note: A lot of this is gut work more than math work. I pick my monsters for fights based on how well I know my players and how they fight, so I have a good idea of what challenges them. Xanathar’s guide is just there to give me a guideline to judge what I’m doing after the fact.

That said, three young dragons versus my three party members is almost a guaranteed TPK, even using Xanathar’s guide and treating my players as higher level.

But there are story reasons, too, to dislike the way the dragons are used. The players are supposed to believe these beasts show up for one fight in the game and if they survive it then they just disappear from the playing field to go back home. Why would they do this? Why wouldn’t they continue to be active participants in the war? Dragons are touchy beasts: wouldn’t they hold a grudge and seek out the adventurers who escaped their wrath, especially if those adventurers succeeded in getting past them to the thing they were guarding (bridge/eggs/phylactery/etc)?

My advice to GMs running Red Hand of Doom is this: if the players encounter a dragon and survive the encounter without killing it, then look for ways to work that dragon back into the plot before the battle of Brindol. You will have to adjust their fights a bit to keep them a challenge, but I think it lets all the dragons shine more as individual, willful creatures and makes them feel less like obligatory boss fights. For instance, in our game, Ozyrandion lives. I decide to have Azor Khul send him to guard the Ghostlord’s lair instead of Varanthian. Varanthian is a fine monster, and a level 11 challenge would be a decent solo monster fight at this point in the game (and I’ve got other minions in the Ghostlord’s lair who can reinforce if the Behir gets locked down with stun or the like), but I would rather the players get a shot at a reoccuring villain rather than have to establish a new one. So instead of the players fightng her, they have an intense encounter with Ozyrandion and three Manticores who accost them in the middle of a raging storm on the edge of the Ghostlord’s lair.

Here is a list of other suggestions for how to bring surviving dragons back:

Ozyrandion: the haughty green dragon is sent to hunt the players, catching up with them on their way to Rhest or at some other point in the adventure between locations (as I did above). If he fails again but escapes, he becomes obsessed and “goes rogue,” chasing the players down even after the adventure has ended, gathering more powerful allies each time (wyverns, chimera, etc).

Regiarix: if Regiarix and Saarvith both still live, then maybe they attack the elves right after Rhest and launch a side quest to hunt them down in the fens, where they will fight alongside some ghoulish minions. If that doesn’t appeal, or if they survive that, then they join in the battle at Brindol, attacking at the same time as another major event that the players are on their way to help with, waylaying the players and preventing them from reaching their goal. The players have to defeat the two here and if they don’t do it quickly enough, they fail to reach their goal in time, causing the failure of one of the major events of the battle. Note, if you do this, consider giving them extra healing options after the battle.

Varanthian: I think the Behir has the opportunity to become a much more interesting character then just a boss fight. Consider introducing her earlier in the campaign, when the players have little chance of defeating her in combat. Knowing this, she should taunt them, warning them to leave this quest to “better men.” She will continue to dog them throughout the adventure, tracking them for her own pleasure, enjoying the thrill of the hunt more than the promise of the kill, maybe attacking before a big event just to weaken and frighten them.  She will criticize and downplay their actions, mocking any other dragons they face as “inferior foes.” She will only go on the full offensive at either her original Ghostlord’s location, or after the Battle of Brindol. You may even want to consider replacing Tyragun with her in this case and removing Tyragun entirely, as using this method the Behir is a more interesting character then him. I honestly wish I’d thought of this sooner...

Abiathrix: The Red Dragon is the only one that it really makes sense to have the players meet again at the finale, if not defeated earlier. Mostly because there really isn’t anywhere else for him to go, as he’s encountered so late in the story. But having two dragons to fight may be an acceptable challenge. If not, it is very possible he defects and flees the fight altogether. I always assumed he was really a coward at heart and hasn’t run yet only because nothing has really challenged him before. Chances are he will remember the characters who defeated him, though, and will return when he is older and more powerful to wreak his vengeance on the people of the Vale.

Riders on the Storm

The players approach the Ghostlord’s Lair by night on owlback, scanning the horizon for signs of “a giant stone lion” which they’ve been told contains the Ghostlord’s lair. Nazragul says they MUST secure the Ghostlord’s services so that he can use his powers over flesh to shape the Soul Jar into something more suitable for carrying into battle. Readers may recall that the point of the Soul Jar is to release the trapped souls of Nazragul’s army into freshly killed bodies after the Battle of Brindol. The entire point of the players fighting off the Red Hand of Doom is so that Nazragul’s armies will then have the easier time of slaughtering the weakened people of Brindol and bringing the city under his control, fulfilling his age-old dream of conquering the vale and the people (descendants in this case) of Rhest. We’ll see how that goes in a future chapter. For now, the players are suddenly distracted by a massive storm which rises just as they finally think they spot the stone lion. Nysyries knows time is short for her: she has two nights left before she needs to feed again on male human souls or else risk losing her druidic powers forever, as per her pact with the lady of the wood. She is not willing to wait out this storm. Tyrion is all for flying in, too, so the group pushes onward.

The storm bats their owls around and visibility drops to what is illuminated by Tyrion’s magical breast plate and the occasional lightning strike. in this darkness hides four ambushers, who roll very well on their stealth checks... but Nysyries rolls even better on her perception, even beating Ozyrandion’s 25 to hide! So she sees the shapes flying out of the darkness at them. When she calls to her companions to ready for combat, Ozyrandion hears her and realizes the surprise is up. “MY CHANCE FOR REVENGE HAS COME!” he booms.

Combat takes us a couple of hours. There is a lot going on. The Dragon is obviously the heavy hitter, but the Manticores get to roll enough times each turn that they pose at least a threat that can’t be ignored. Complicating things is the fact that the owls pose a big weakness. Yes, as mounts they allow the players to dodge, dash, or disengage for free, but they have little hit points and if killed, the players will be in free fall. Finally, the storm itself makes ranged attacks at disadvantage and is difficult terrain. It also has a special effect that happens each round based on a d100 roll:

1-10: A new combatant is carried into the storm. Choose a flying creature of CR 4 and add them as a neutral creature that selects a random target on its turn. Roll initiative for it now.

11-35: everyone must make a DC 14 CON save or be hit for 2d8 thunder damage and have disadvantage on all attacks rolls this round. Success on save takes half damage and avoids the penalty.

35-44: The clouds gather into a thick mass. This round nothing happens. Next round, roll the dice twice and apply both effects, re-rolling 35-44.

45-55: Nothing happens this round, the storm rages on.

56-69: Everyone is struck by confusion as per the spell confusion for one round. On their turn, if they can make a DC 18 WIS save, they avoid this effect.

70-85: lightning strikes a random character in the storm for 4d10 lightning damage

86-100: Everyone must make a DC 14 STR save or be blown into the nearest character within 20 feet. Succeeding the save means nothing happens to you. Failing the save moves you as described and both you and whomever you hit take 3d6 bludgeoning damage.

My players continually roll the thunder and lightning effects throughout combat, with a round where nothing happens occuring near the middle of combat, so we miss most of these effects, but the thunder and lightning have a big impact on the combat nonetheless, usually in favor of the players, who roll much better on their saves than the monsters do.

The combat starts with Nysyries taking control of the storm through call lightning and trying to strike an approaching Manticore. Traki leaps from the back of his owl, meanwhile, and aims for another Manticore, tackling it midair and tumbling down into the storm with it, stabbing with his dagger and punching with his fists all the while. Tyrion, seeing this feat of bravery (insanery?) follows suit, but not to be outdone, he chooses to leap on the dragon! Hey, he argues, Traki already got to kill a dragon, so it’s my turn!

Ah, classic DnD. Where Dragons become equivalent to big-game trophies.

By the end of the round, things are not going as well. The manticore Traki is, er, riding gives as good as it got, using its tail to reach that “oh so hard to scratch spot” on its back where Traki is and impaling him with a critical hit here. Traki gets hurt pretty badly, dropping below half life as he takes three massive hits from the Manticore. Nysyries finds herself targeted by Ozyrandion, who chooses to ignore Tyrion for the moment (”Disgusting little flea! I’ll deal with you next!”) and instead breathes poison at both her and her owl. It’s a heavy hit. The owl dies instantly. Nysyries is knocked unconscious and begins to fall into the storm. 

Trellara, meanwhile, goes nuts, unleashing the power of her now supernaturally beautiful voice to psychically attack the nearest Manticore. Her voice allows her to either target one enemy for 10d6 damage or ALL creatures within 30 feet for 3d6 damage (halved for both effects on a save, on a DC 13 Con save). The Manticore makes the save and launch into a flurry of attacks on her, bringing her down to half life. A lightning bolt then sparks across the sky and arks its way through Trellara and her owl, blasting her off into the night sky.

Tyrion casts healing word, saving Nysyries, who mid fall transforms into her signature Quetzalcoatl and rejoins the battle. After this, things turn to the player’s favor. Ozyrandion fails a ton of rolls against Tyrion, both in trying to pull him off and in trying to just do damage to him. Eventually, he flies high above the others, heading into the storm clouds to focus on Tyrion alone. The two beat eachother with their various weapons, the dragon missing more often than not, Tyrion having the same problem. Tyrion gets the upper hand, though, when he uses his reactionary Breastplate of Chaos (which has previously had such wonderful effects as turning him permanently blue) to randomly unleash a high level magic missile on the Dragon. This turns the tide, and from here on out Tyrion hits more and more with his berserker axe, going berserk in the process.

Far below them, Traki keeps leaping from Manticore to Manticore, asking each one “Hey, do I know you,” and confusing the hell out of them in the process. He’s thinking one might be the Manticore from Vraath Keep, you see, though that Manticore is actually still lounging around in those ruins, king of his own little domain. No, these Manticores DO NOT know Traki and have regretted meeting him at all. He manages to intimidate the first one into carrying him back into combat (and then this Manticore quickly bails on the fight), from here leaping on the next one. This one has a smarmy British accent and he’s less inclined to surrender, deciding to Kamikaze in the storm instead of letting Traki have victory. Good thing Nysyries is there to save him!

The rest of the fight is easy to describe. Nysyries and Traki together make easy work of the last Manticore, Nysyries diving underneath it while Traki drags the blade of Erythnul across its exposed belly. And Tyrion finally delivers a bad enough blow to Ozyrandion that he gives up on trying to rip the annoying little man off of him and instead dive bombs into a storm cloud brimming with lightning and booming with thunder. Here Ozyrandion meets his end, struck by a lightning bolt. That same bolt rips through Tyrion as he falls, a speck in the black sky that Nysyries turns and speeds towards.

At this point, what I think would be amazing is for Nysyries to catch Tyrion but have him still be berserk. I think that would be amazing. I think Nysyries and Traki agree, they laugh a little and Traki starts to muse about how he could restrain Tyrion until they can knock him out. But Tyrion isn’t for it and since it would be a stretch of the rules to insist that it happens, we move on. I’m usually okay with bending the rules a little in the name of hilarity and fun, but only if everyone is on board. So instead, Nysyries succeeds on her “catch the Blue Bard” roll without incident and we move on to the rough landing that puts them inside the eye of the storm and directly outside of the Ghostlord’s lair (I’ve doubled the proportions on everything here for reasons I’ll reveal once we actually meet the Ghostlord):

Rising from a low mesa is an intimidating sight. A massive lion of stone crouches, as if ready to pounce on a nearby hill. The cyclopean monolith is composed of a dull tawny stone. It looks to be about four hundred eight feet in length, and the top of its maned head rises over one hundred feet from the ground. There seems to be some sort of hollow between the lion’s front paws, in the area bordered by its chest. Likewise, hints of a dark cave are apparent in its gaping maw. The lair is constantly shrouded by a flight of dozens of ghostly lions. These spirits fly in unending circuits around and through the structure’s stony body and head. They are invisible during the day, but append the following description if the PCs approach the lair at night. Dozens of translucent lion-like shapes fl y and caper about the massive lion’s head and body. The shapes sometimes even pass through its stony surface to emerge in a different spot.

As you stare at this phenomenon, suddenly a voice calls out a confused “Now what is happening here?” You turn, and see the professor’s ghostly form standing nearby, looking aghast at the spiral of ghostly forms. Suddenly he is pulled from your side and lifted into the air, making thin protests as he is quickly drawn towards the spiral against his will and joins the other souls in the vortex.

Quick Analysis: This fight was meant to replace the opening fight against the Behir that’s set up for the entrance of the Ghostlord’s Lair. Thus, the goal was twofold. First, to provide a similar challenge (something equal to a level 11 one enemy challenge) which will drain some of the players’ resources heading into this dungeon. Second, to deliver something impressive to start off this dungeon.

On the first point, I think this was a success. The fight ends up being challenging but fun. It could have gone either way for my players, but once they got the upper hand, the fight continued to go in their favor. They definitely have used up a fair amount of heal spells and Nysyries has used a valuable transformation. They will have to decide whether a short rest is worth the risk before moving on next time. Regardless, they won’t be entering the dungeon at full strength. And Trellara is gone, disappeared in the storm. Not dead, perhaps, but missing in the Thornwaste for the time being, along with the surviving owls.

On the second point, it is also a success! This was a memorable fight and set up the environment for us, too. Flying through the storm to get here and then seeing it surround them as they approach the Ghostlord’s giant lion makes this all the more ominous and impressive. If your players fought and escaped Ozyrandion earlier, then I recommend using this fight (or a similar one) instead of the Behir. Save her for more interesting encounters.

[aion-rsa]

How Patty Jenkins Steered the Wonder Woman 1984 Ship

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If you ask the cast of Wonder Woman 1984 pretty much any question about the film, they will find a way to gush about how much they love working with Patty Jenkins. Did Pedro Pascal bring any of his past characters into his new role as Max Lord? No, but it took a new level of vulnerability that Patty supported him through. Has Kristin Wiig always wanted to play a villain? Yes, and almost no one has asked her—except for Patty, apparently. 

“[Patty is] like a Japanese sword,” says Wonder Woman 1984 star and producer Gal Gadot to Den of Geek and other outlets during a 2018 set visit. “No, really. It’s the same wonderful creative rule of hard smarts, see the bigger picture and the macro and the micro and everything. She has all the same qualities but now everything is quicker. She’s been there, she knows how it works. She has the same clues that worked with us in the previous one, and it’s just like this very smooth process.”

“Once Patty lands on an idea, it seems like it’s fully formed and she knows everything about it,” adds Chris Pine. “Since I’ve met her — she pitched me the first story — I’ve never met someone more self assured and more knowing about what she wants, how she’s going to do it, why she’s doing it. She is a machine. She is just a glorious machine to behold. A samurai sword is a good allegory.”

Even though Jenkins was not signed on to direct a sequel when she was making Wonder Woman, she still discussed prospective narrative plans with Gadot and Pine, starting about halfway through production.

“We were fantasizing about the next one if the first one would succeed,” recalls Gadot. “Then, we already started to talk about the story of this one. With Patty, it’s just a different work process. She’s very, she’s engaged. She’s very much engaging with all of us. And we all have a lot of say, into our character. Of course, the big broad vision is Patty’s. But she gives a lot of liberties and we do what we believe is right for the character. So I’m very, very lucky to work with her again.”

Jenkins wanted to do a second film in the franchise so that she could tell a Wonder Woman story past the origin tale of the character.

“She’s only Wonder Woman in the last scene of the [first] movie,” says Jenkins during a recent Wonder Woman 1984 press conference. “So I found myself really craving doing a movie about Wonder Woman, now full-blown Wonder Woman. And then I started reflecting on what I felt was going on in our world and what Wonder Woman would want to say to the world. And the story came out of that.”

Unlike the first film, Jenkins wrote the screenplay for WW84, along with Dave Callaham and Geoff Johns, the latter of whom also worked on the story with Jenkins. She ultimately found her way in with a compelling question. 

“The last one was [Wonder Woman’s] discovery of humanity. Now, how does she live within humanity? And by the way, she’s not perfect either. So her own struggles and journey to do the right thing, which is so universal to all of us. Being a hero is not an easy thing, it’s actually a super difficult thing. So that I was really interested in too, of like, what does it feel like?” 

Many critics who have screened the film already have commented on the broader themes, and how WW84 aligns so well with 2020. It’s impressive, considering how long ago it was written. Says Jenkins: “I found myself saying there was something about what the world wants to talk about right now, and she happens to have this lasso of truth, and truth ends up figuring in very large.”

And while Wonder Woman does exist within the larger DCEU, Jenkins and producer Chuck Roven have been clear that this is a standalone film. And while there might be some easter eggs, Jenkins said she and Geoff Johns were both really excited to tell this exact story. 

“I’m not a huge fan of like doing chapter two of a seven chapter story. That’s just not my jam. I feel like that may happen in the way background, but every movie in my opinion that I want to make should be its own great movie,” Jenkins said on set. “So I have my own ideas about what her overreaching arc is, of the whole thing, but it’s the story first.”

No offense intended towards Superman, but do you feel like after this success of the first movie that Wonder Woman has become the new core of the DC universe now?

Fans and casual viewers might be excused for wondering if Diana Prince hasn’t eclipsed Clark Kent, in the DCEU if nowhere else. Certainly, a strategic advantage of both films taking place pre-2017 is that Jenkins and Gadot get to play with a pre-Justice League world. 

Jenkins says, “I think that she planted her foot strong in the world. I mean I think that she’s a very strong core right now, and I think that there are lots of other great things that had been planted before and will be planted after. But I do I feel like she sort of landed and set her place in this world, and hopefully things are influenced by each other when they work in that way.”

In order to bring this new story to life, Jenkins wrote and directed a script for a much more complex film, logistically. Producer Charles Roven likewise glowed about Jenkins, calling her amazing to work with and sharing insight into the reality behind the scenes of a massive film like WW84.

“We expanded the global footprint of the places where we shot,” Roven said. “We shot in Virginia. Then we went to the UK and we also, after that, we went to Spain and then we went to the Canary Islands. So our global footprint really expanded significantly. And of course that makes it very, very complicated.”

Much will be made of Jenkins’s hiring of Cirque de Soleil performers and her decision to rely as much as possible on practical effects, and rightly so. The Amazons look powerful and natural because they’re really running, jumping, riding, and flipping through the air – the CGI is  used to augment their natural abilities. In the case of Lily Apsell, who plays young Diana, she trained to run an obstacle course. CGI was used to add more dangerous elements that she doesn’t directly interact with that add to the suspense of the scene and maintained the actor’s safety. 

As Pine put it, “That’s less about the hugeness of special effects, rather than making the special effects work for the realism of the film.”

For Jenkins, it’s important to carry the realism over to the characters too, especially villains. Without spoiling anything, there’s no moustache twirling in WW84. Pedro Pascal’s Max Lord and Kristin Wiig’s Barbara Minerva are on the more complicated end of the spectrum.

As Gadot puts it, “When I first read the script, I told Patty, ‘Wow, I like I like them as much as I like Diana and Steve.’ … I’m so tired of the obvious villain, the German soldier that you know from the get-go, okay he’s the bad guy — they’re like real people. Just like you, and you, and me. We can see ourselves in them. And they’re not bad people per se. But they just didn’t make the right choice at the right time. And I find it so interesting and so appealing, and I actually care about them.”

Read more

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While the script certainly helps, so much of that comes from the performances of Kristin Wiig and Pedro Pascal. 

Pascal is quick to credit Jenkins: “I call it the Patty Jenkins experience. You can’t get away with something that is the typical. It has to be a complete and have all the risks, and all of the danger, and ultimately the humanity, no matter how dark of a character it is to make the experience as honest as possible.”

“I wasn’t surprised because of all of her films that I’ve seen before and the performances that are in these movies. But I definitely didn’t know if I would be able to get there and I owe it to my director. I completely owe it to my director, if it worked.”

Reader, it worked.

He’s certainly not alone in his sentiment. 

Kristin Wiig shared, “The wardrobe and the costumes and all of that definitely helped, and again, like Pedro was saying, working with Patty and trying to figure out who she is with every stage. But I’ve never done anything like this before.” 

“It was very scary because I could visualize what I didn’t want it to be more than what I did want it to be. But I felt very taken care of and it was an amazing, scary, but fun experience for me,” Wiig said. “I was really shocked and happy and of course felt extra pressure when [I] signed on and when I was talking to Patty about it. But yeah, and I’m superhero geek. I see all the movies, I’m at the theater, I’ve seen all of them. I was obsessed with the first one. So to know that I was going to be in it, and that I got a chance to be a villain, and that Patty believed that I could do it, it was an amazing life experience for me.

It’s not unusual for stars to applaud their director on a press tour, but Patty Jenkins’s cast takes just about every opportunity to do so (though Pascal gives a lot of compliments in general, to everyone.) Having seen the final product, Jenkins backs up her good process with a good movie. In an industry that is so unequal when it comes to gender representation and opportunity both in front of and in particular behind the camera, it’s gratifying to see, especially considering that Warner Brother executives were so slow to secure Jenkins for the sequel. Not only was Jenkins not locked into directing a possible sequel in her initial contract, but subsequent contract negotiations took longer than expected as Jenkins fought to be paid the same as any male director would expect to receive after such a box office success. 

But, for the cast, it’s not just about making a good movie; it’s about having a good and competent boss, and a safe and supportive workplace (not that the two aren’t usually related). That, among other things, seems to be, as Pascal called it, “The Patty Jenkins experience.”

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“There’s something about working with a director that is completely there with you,” says Gadot. “For you, behind you, beside you, and to guide you. That gives us the freedom to really let go and take all the risks that one can be very frightened to take if you don’t have such a partner.”

The post How Patty Jenkins Steered the Wonder Woman 1984 Ship appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[tessatechaitea]

Batman #87

James Tynion IV and Guillem March team up to make me stop buying Batman.

Part of me just wants to write "UGH!" and be done with reviewing this comic book. But another part of me is hungry. But still another part of me, the one that is against just typing "UGH!", is outraged that I just paid five dollars for a regular issue of Batman because of a stupid glossy and thick cover and that part of me demands that I vent more fully. And yet that's not even why I'm fucking livid! That's just my first and most shallow complaint! I'd prefer if DC Comics just gave me a regular issue of Batman with a regular comic book cover and simply printed on that cover, "We know this is the exact same quality comic book that we'd sell for $3.99 usually but it has Batman in it which means it will sell way more copies than the other issues we sell and we want that sweet, sweet extra dollar per issue windfall!"

Complaint #2: The Riddler believes that a riddle without a solution is the greatest riddle.

Never mind that Guillem March drew The Riddler naked while he's thinking about the greatest riddle ever while on weapons grade amphetamines and he has no visible erection. That's a minor side complaint that I simply assume was on everybody's list of things wrong with this issue. But the revelation that James Tynion IV doesn't understand the concept of riddles is beyond criticism. It's post-critical! The entire purpose of a riddle is that it has a fucking clever answer! A riddle with no answer is a mystery and The Riddler isn't called The Mysteryer! A riddle with no answer is something The Mad Hatter might be into but not The Riddler, Mr. Scott-Snyder-Lite IV! And before some Riddler-loving cuck nerd decides to argue that what Tynion meant was that The Riddler loves a super duper challenging riddle, let me say this: "Then he should have fucking wrote that in the dialogue, shouldn't he have? Not that a 'riddle with no solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' But 'a riddle with a fucking super tough and challenging solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' Now go jerk off to your tepid Riddler sex role play Tumblr blog." Just an aside about my use of the word 'cuck': it's just fucking funny to use! The only good thing the terrible incel Internet community (unless I mean the MRA community (unless I mean the PUA community (it probably doesn't matter. They probably mostly share the middle area in a Venn diagram))) has done for this world is to bring back the insult "cuck." I don't even care about using it in the historically accurate way! I don't actually care if Riddler fans' spouses have a little extra side of ass on the down low. It's just fun to say! Plus, if you say it to the kind of person who actually thinks "cuck" is a scathing insult, they get super fucking angry when called one! It's Goddamned hilarious.

Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Riddler.

Yes, yes. March fixes my whole "The Riddler doesn't have a visible erection" problem from the first scan by implying one with his Riddle Wand here. But the main problem is why did March think The Riddler suddenly needed to look like Bernie Wrightson's Anton Arcane? The Riddler has always just been a skinny creep who was so into getting punched in the face by a muscular man in a bat costume that he planted clues that would ensure it happened. But I guess March has decided that his obsession needed to be mirrored in his physical appearance? Or is it a kind of pervasive attitude that Batman is such a scary and serious fucking cartoon hero that his villainous gallery of rogues has to be just as wickedly serious and horrific? Sometimes it feels like fans still feel as if the Batman television show was some kind of pernicious poison that, to this day, needs continual application of anti-toxin. "Batman isn't silly and his villains shouldn't be either," scream the rabid base of comic book fans that take this shit way too seriously. Hey! Fuck you! I'm angry for valid reasons and not stupid comic book fan reasons! Don't try to use my own words against me!

Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Penguin.

See my previous argument for Complaint #2. Although there's a history of making The Penguin as creepy and fucked up as possible because nobody needs the image of Burgess Meredith playing The Penguin to already come to the conclusion that a short dapper fat man with a bird obsession isn't the most intimidating villain, even with the mob attitude and homicidal tendencies.

Complaint #4: Batman and Catwoman's banter.

My main complaint with this conversation is that Batman and Catwoman never once argue about whether they met on a boat or on the street. I thought that was how they always began conversations! Also, they don't call each other "Bat" and "Cat." I'm sure a lot of people are thrilled about this change. But to me, it's a slow reset to getting them back to a relationship that denies the strength of their love and commitment to each other. They're slipping back into professional modes of communication! Next thing you know, we'll find out that Alfred didn't really die! It was Clayface the entire time and Alfred simply let people believe he was dead so he could have a peaceful vacation for once in his long life of servitude to an obsessed man-boy with too much money. Okay, that's enough poking fun at Tom King and the people who hated Tom King. I'm sure I'll get my fill of the Bat/Cat relationship whenever King's Bat Loves Cat comic book comes out. Let me be serious about my complaint in this paragraph (although not the kind of serious where I'm a comic book fan taking shit too seriously! The kind of "serious" where I pretend to be in an apoplectic rage which convinces a number of casual readers into thinking things like "This fucking Lobo fanboy wants to fuck Lobo in the face" and "Why is this nerd so obsessed with Supergirl's butthole? Can't he get a real woman down at the real club where he probably dances like a fucking dreamboat?"). Batman is supposed to be the World's Greatest Detective and yet he engages in stupid retorts like "What makes you think I don't have that device?" You fucking imbecile! What makes her think that was expressly stated by Catwoman when she said you wouldn't have needed to ask her if she was still with the body! Also, even Batman can't have that technology because it would take magic to use that technology and Batman is against magic which is why he keeps Kryptonite on hand to defeat Superman instead of the Ace of Winchesters. Side Complaint #4: Guillem March draws asses in the uncanny valley. He wants you to know they're sexy asses that do more than poop and fart. But he tries too hard to make them sexy and they fall into the uncanny valley of sexy asses. Those are asses where you go, "No, no. I can see that that ass is sexy but I am not in any way going to put my tongue into it." Complaint #5: The villains' plan is so complex that it relies on things that couldn't have been planned for happening. This is a standard complaint of mine and such a comic book trope that I probably should have gotten over being upset by it twenty years ago. I suppose it's why I stopped reading comic books for ten of those twenty years though. A bunch of assassins planned to get caught so that one of them could escape so that Batman would be distracted by that one while the others escaped. Batman falls for it although this time there's a twist to a plan so well planned that it works no matter what the hero does: this plan was stolen! This plan was originally the Penguin's plan and he recognized it when the first part fell into place: five assassins came to Gotham and were caught by Batman. Yeah, see? That was part of this stupid plan! So at least The Penguin is going to interfere with this awesome plan. Although, being that the plan was so well planned, the person who stole the plan probably planned for The Penguin to recognize the plan and to interfere. So The Penguin interfering is probably now part of the overall plan.

Complaint #6: Batman builds a prison that even he can't get out of which means Deathstork gets out of it immediately.

Every time, right? Every time a hero does something that is super duper foolproof to the nth degree of foolproofness, they get fooled! Fool the DC villains once, shame on the DC villains. Fool the DC Villains twice, and, well, you know what? That's never actually happened because they've never actually been fooled once. They only get fooled in the ultimate issue of a story arc when the hero decides maybe they should redouble their efforts and buck up their willpower and believe in themselves slightly more than they did in the previous five issues.

Complaint #7: A Cheshire-sized clay body double was captured by Batman, hauled into custody by police, and locked up without anybody noticing.

Batman uses the word "clay" so I'm assuming we're supposed to believe this is some kind of non-Clayface clayface body double? Some kind of mindless automaton that walks and moves and blinks and breathes and acts exactly like a living person? Sure, it's not presented in that way. But the audience has to assume some level of intelligent trickery went down here or else they're going to read this and think, "Batman was fooled by a squishy, drippy sex doll? This is worse for the Batman mythos than when Kevin Smith had Batman confess to peeing his pants!" Complaint #8: Both Deathstork and Cheshire tell Batman they're "playing a game." Why do they call their terrible and vicious crimes a game? It's bullshit to make everything the villains do some kind of contest pitted against Batman. It inherently makes super hero comics less about trying to make the world a better place and more about how heroes are the cause of all of the trouble because the villains' only ever expressed motive is to best the heroes. It's lazy and ultimately damaging to the entire medium. Yes, I said the entire medium! That's not hyperbole! But that was facetiousness!

Complaint #9: Cheshire wears see-through undies and we never get to see them from the front.

Okay fine. Not all of March's asses are in the uncanny valley. That one is staunchly in the valley of cans. Sweet, sweet cans.

Complaint #10: Batman kills Cheshire.

Sure, sure. Cheshire is still talking after getting creamed by a semi truck so Batman didn't really kill her. But he should have killed her doing this and the only way we accept that she isn't dead after smashing her face into an advancing semi is because we, the reader, know Batman doesn't kill. Maybe Batman lovers would defend this as an accident brought on by Cheshire herself. But then what is Batman's defense in letting her get smashed by a truck instead of saving her from being smashed by a truck in the amount of time it takes him to smugly say, "Brace yourself"? This fits into my belief that Batman has killed dozens of people but they die later at the hospital after which he can pin the deaths on the doctors who failed to save them from the mortal injuries Batman gave them. Side Complaint #10: Cheshire's last words are asking Batman how he survived her poison. I mean, she's obviously dying here and that's all she cares about? I would think she'd be all, "Tell my daughter I love her! ACK!" Batman #87 Rating: C. I think I made my points. My main problem now is that I've declared I'm going to stop buying Batman but I'm not the sort of person who avoids staring at train wrecks.

[nonameinanytongue]

The Flower & the Serpent: The Violent Women of Game of Thrones

“Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!”

-Lady Macbeth, Macbeth, Act V, Scene I

DC’s Wonder Woman opened this summer to critical acclaim. Pop culture outlets made much of its empowered protagonist and progressive themes, lauding everything from its feminist fight scenes to Wonder Woman’s thigh jiggle. In approaching the first superhero flick of the modern big-budget tentpole era both helmed by and starring a woman with such intense and specific scrutiny, much is overlooked and more repurposed to suit a flexible, almost reactive set of ideals held by fans and critics alike. If a woman does something in art that shows her to be powerful, it is interpreted as inherently feminist no matter its context in the work of art or the world beyond.

Perhaps in a world where women, homosexuals, and transsexuals lobby vigorously for the right to serve in active combat zones a conflation of ability to do violence and the possession of feminist power is understandable. Surely there are many women who, for reasons understandable or awful, crave invincible bodies and the power and grace to crush the people who hurt them. Many more are happy to acclaim any media in which a woman emerges victorious as another mile marker driven into the roadside on the highway of equality. Especially beloved are movies, shows, comics, and novels in which such victories are portrayed as straightforwardly virtuous and good. 

Think of Sansa Stark condemning her rapist and tormentor, Ramsay Bolton, to a grisly death at the jaws of his own hounds. How many fans and critics expressed unbridled joy at that, as though Sansa had won some kind of symbolic victory for all women? Her sister Arya’s rampage, which has taken her across the Narrow Sea and back again and claimed the lives of dozens, has likewise been applauded as a meaningful triumph in the way we tell women’s stories. For the record, I think both of these plots are intensely compelling and reveal volumes both about the characters themselves and the world they inhabit. Game of Thrones is a show nearly singular in its refusal to make violence joyous or cathartic, no matter the whoops and cheers of many of its fans.

Still, no matter how many times the show delivers searing anti-war images or explores the corrosive influence of violence on those who commit it, viewers remain hungry for the spectacle of women overpowering their enemies and turning back on them the weapons of their own oppression. In a culture where Redpill misogynists hold elected office and our president is a serial rapist, a desire to see women take power with a dash of fire and blood feels all too understandable, but celebrating the destruction of their personalities and lives is a reductive way to understand their stories.

In order to understand what Game of Thrones has to say about violent women, it’s necessary to set aside the thrill that seeing them materially ascendant brings and focus on the images, words, and larger context of the show’s particular examples. Where films like Wonder Woman thrive by repurposing a complex and horrifying conflict (World War I in the first film, the Cold War in the upcoming second) into a heroic battle between good and evil, Game of Thrones, rooted in a genre where conflict is often artificially cleansed of moral ambiguity through devices like entire species of evil-doers, makes no attempt to sand the edges off of its depictions of war or violence. 

Nearly every woman on the show, with the possible exceptions of Gilly and Myrcella, are directly involved in war, torture, and many other forms of brutality. From Catelyn and Lysa’s ugly mess of a trial for Tyrion, an act they surely must have known would cost many smallfolk their lives once Tywin Lannister caught wind of it, to Ygritte fighting to save her people by sticking the innocent farmers in the shadow of the Wall full of arrows, the actions of women with power both physical and political are shown to bear fruit just as ugly as any their husbands, sons, and brothers can cultivate. There’s an uncomfortable truth lurking there, an admission that some modes of action and ways of being may not intersect meaningfully with many of modern feminism’s tenets.

In this essay I will dissect scenes and story to illustrate the show’s deeply antipathetic stance on violence and the ways in which it is misunderstood both by those who enjoy the show and by those who detest it or object to it.

I. ARYA

If a man is getting his eyes stabbed out by a child he intended to beat and rape, does the child’s gender matter when determining what the scene is meant to convey? Is it somehow triumphant for a girl to do that to another living person, no matter how repugnant he might be? Isn’t it possible that what the scene communicates is not that Arya’s slow transformation into a butcher with scant regard for human life is something we ought to cheer for but that the fact she couldn’t survive in Westeros or Essos as anything else, much less as a little girl, is deeply sad?

Arya’s crimes nearly always echo those of her tormentors. Think of the first person she kills, a stable boy, not so different in age or appearance from her erstwhile playmate, Mycah, who was slaughtered by the Hound a bare few months before. Or else consider Polliver, the Lannister soldier who murdered her friend Lommy and whose own mocking words she spits back at him as she plunges her sword up through his jaw. More recently, her wholesale slaughter of House Frey recalls with a visual exactitude which can be nothing but intentional the massacre of her own family and their allies at the Red Wedding. In this last instance she literally dons their murderer’s skin in order to exact her revenge, pressing Walder Frey’s face against her own in an act that feels uncomfortably more like embodiment than disguise.

Arya’s long journey through peril and terror has hardened her, but there’s little reason to rejoice in her hard-won powers of stealth and bloodletting. Who, after all, does she resemble with her obsession over old scores and her penchant for cruelly ironic punishments if not the subject of this essay’s next section.

II. CERSEI

Cersei Lannister,  is distinguished from a hundred other interchangeable evil queens by the attention devoted to her own suffering. Sold by her father to a man who beat and raped her, denied the glory heaped on her twin by sole dint of her gender, humiliated and terrorized by the despicable son whose monstrosity she nurtured, and finally stripped, shaven, and marched barefoot through jeering crowds after being tortured for weeks or months in the dungeons of the church she armed and enabled, Cersei’s brutality serves only to deepen her misery and isolation.  

The aforementioned tyranny of the High Sparrow she put in power, the murder of her monstrous son by her political rivals after she groomed him to be the beast he was, her conflicted and good-hearted younger son’s suicide after his mother’s revenge on the High Sparrow and the Tyrells broke his spirit; Cersei’s litany of victories reads a lot like a list of agonizing losses when you look at it sidelong. Certainly her grasping, vindictive reign has brought her no joy. It’s true that audiences are expected to see Cersei as a horrible human being, which she is, but the time the show spends on giving viewers a chance to empathize with this badly damaged person trying to throttle happiness and security out of a recalcitrant world argues for a more complex interpretation of her character. Watching her need to dominate rip her family and sanity apart, ushering all three of her children into early graves, transforms her from a straightforward villain to a troubled and tragic figure.

III. DAENERYS

Sold into slavery after a life on the run with her unstable and abusive brother and raped on her wedding night by a foreign warlord, Daenerys’s relationship to violence after her ascent to power is complex and heavily ideological. Her crusade to end slavery, motivated as much or more by strength of character and an innate sense of justice than it is by personal suffering and an impulse toward vengeance, has engendered sweeping changes throughout Essos, but at times it has taken on shades of the ostentatiously symbolic punishments for which her family name is famous. The crucifixion of the Masters is a particularly gratuitous example as Daenerys allows her desire to change the world and her need to feel good about the justice she doles out combine to produce a dreadful and inhumane outcome.

This act of performative brutality finds its echo in the rogue execution of a Son of the Harpy, imprisoned and awaiting trial, by Daenerys’s fervent supporter Mossador. Dany may claim that she is not above the law when Mossador confronts her, but when butchery without trial suited her she was quick to embrace it. Her case is uniquely complicated by her enemy: the slavers. Nothing excuses violence like a civilization of rapists and flesh-peddlers beating and maiming their human chattel onscreen, and there is powerful catharsis in seeing their corrupt works shredded and their hateful and exploitative lives snuffed out, but in making them suffer and in choosing the easy way out through orgiastic episodes of violence, Dany betrays her own unwillingness to do the hard work of reform. In many ways, her long stay in Meereen functions as the tragic story of her decision to embrace the grandiose violence her ancestors partook of so freely. We may feel good watching her triumph over evil, but we’re reminded frequently of the horrors and miseries of her reign.

IV. BRIENNE

Brienne’s pursuit of knighthood and adherence to its practices and code is no warrior-girl fantasy about a scabby-kneed tomboy learning to swordfight. Trapped in a body unsuited to courtly life, mocked by suitors and competitors alike, and yearning for the right to live by the sword as men do, Brienne finds challenging refuge in a way of life intimately associated with violent acts. From her butchery of the guards in Renly’s tent to her honor-bound execution of her one-time king’s brother in a snowy forest, Brienne’s path has frequently led her into mortal conflict.

At the climax of Wonder Woman, Diana kills a super-powered caricature of historical figure General Erich Ludendorff, a character who seems to exist solely to uncomplicate the moral landscape of World War I. A few minutes later she kills the man behind the man, her divine uncle Ares, and breaks his grasp on the people of war-torn Europe. The presentation of the act of killing as a triumph for human morality strips away much of what violent media can offer. Contrast Brienne’s desperate fight with three Stark soldiers as she attempts to spirit Jaime Lannister to safety on Catelyn’s orders. Screaming with every blow and leaving her opponents hacked to pieces, Brienne succeeds in her mission at an obvious human cost. Men, despicable men but men nonetheless, are dead. She and Catelyn are now in open rebellion against Robb’s authority. 

To kill is to sever a life and give birth to a living, growing tree of consequences. To explore it instead as a tidy way to resolve problems and make the world a better place is to misrepresent its essential nature. You can’t improve the world through butchery. You can’t heal by harming. What violence in media is meant to teach us is a capacity for empathy, a reflexive understanding that all people are as fully and completely human as ourselves. Loathsome or virtuous, kind or cruel, no human suffering should be a comfortable or affirming thing to witness. (The Republican Party’s elected officials and pundit corps certainly makes a strong case for an exception to this rule).

One might charitably assume that lionization of violent women and their specific acts of violence stems from a place of vulnerability, a desire to balance the scales and erase the danger and aggression with which almost all women must live on a daily basis. I would argue that while this may hold true in part, a deeper truth is that many people have not been taught to feel pain for others in a way that allows for true emotional vulnerability or complex feelings about morally ugly and confusing actions. It’s easier to cheer when the guy we hate gets his than it is feel sorrow for the former innocent who dished out justice, or empathy for the deceased whose life must surely have held its own miseries and secret hurts. 

Audiences would be well-served by taking a moment to step back from their reactions to violence in media and attempting to interpret what message the art is trying to convey. Is the violence slickly produced and bloodless, a parade of cool moments and heroic victories? Or is it focused on the humanity of victims and perpetrators and the cost of their actions? What is the camera telling us? The colors? The editing? Are we meant to agree with King Theoden’s speech about the glories of war in Return of the King when the very next cut brings us into the hellish, pointless confusion of the taking of Osgiliath? Are we meant to be happy when Sansa smiles at Ramsay’s death when the very last thing he told her was that she would carry him, his essence, with her forever? 

The most transcendent joy art brings is the opportunity to reach out of your own beliefs and feelings and into someone else’s dreaming mind, to parse the language of symbols and ideas with which they have addressed the world and make in the negative space between your consciousness and theirs a new understanding. Learn to relish the complex and sometimes hideous nature of humanity over the easy thrills and cheap moral lessons of crowd-pleasers made by billionaires. Understand that art that makes you uncomfortable could be helping you grow. 

A woman’s actions are not laudable just because she’s a woman, or just because she’s been wronged. In our rush to associate the violent triumph of women over the men who’ve hurt them with personal strength, healing, justice, and praiseworthiness we ignore what shows like Game of Thrones are saying in favor of what we want to hear. Violence should never be easy, and violence that assures us, or that we think assures us we’re good and rooting for the right people should always be suspect. 

In labeling anything that pleases us, that satisfies our own hunger for justice and supremacy “feminist,” we forget that feminism is first and foremost an attempt to remake the world. The structure of things as they are is brutish and oppressive, and to cry tears of joy as women, even fictional women, fall prey to the allure of those same structures is to fundamentally misunderstand the point of a life-or-death struggle in which at this moment in history we are perilously engaged. As assaults on our tattered reproductive rights continue, as women struggling with addiction, illness, and homelessness are thrown into prison en masse, as our political leaders openly contemplate sentencing the most vulnerable among us to death in order to pay off the corporate elite and the Left (justifiably, in my opinion) contemplates and utilizes resistance through force on a scale unheard of in this millennium in our country’s history, learning to see violence for what it is has become more imperative than ever before.