#in any case now is as good a time as ever

[miryum]

An arranged marriage with James Potter

Something had happened over the summer that made James Potter the most love-sick fool in all of Hogwarts. Purebloods being purebloods, it wasn’t uncommon for children to be paired up early on to secure the bloodline. While this happened mostly between the old-arching Slytherin families, an example being Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, every once in a while, the other houses would participate too. 

Such was the case with James Potter and Y/n L/n. The L/n’s had spanned generations, stretching back to even the Gaunt’s time. But, such as the Gaunt family, the L/n family had run into some bad luck. Stocks didn’t go the way they wanted or something of the sort and now they were in ruining trouble. 

Euphemia Potter was usually one to scoff at arranged marriages, wanting the children to find love for themselves, blood status be damned. However, the L/n’s were good friends of hers and James had written home multiple times about their daughter. From his letters, it seemed as if the two were already dating. It was a perfect coincidence. Euphemia and Fleamont agreed instantly, lifting the weight of a thousand bricks off of the patriarch of the L/n household. 

However, James and Y/n were not dating. Much to James’ annoyance, the only thing between them was his unrequited infatuation towards Y/n. 

So that’s where the pair found themselves at the beginning of seventh year. Y/n L/n trying to fly under the radar and not draw any attention to herself or the new ring on her finger, and James Potter doing everything in his power to show off their relationship and spoil her in front of everyone. 

It began at the start of the year feast. James had an arm around Y/n’s shoulder the entire time. When a third year nervously asked if the two were dating, staring reverently up at James, the boy grinned and looked to Y/n. “I don’t know, love, are we?”

Y/n pushed James’ arm off her shoulder and indelicately said, “no. Take him.” The third year blushed and mumbled their way out of the conversation as James clutched his wounded heart.

During classes, James would loudly correct the professors from Miss. L/n to Mrs. Potter. It earned him wry smiles from McGonagall and Sprout, chuckles from Slughorn and Flitwick, and a cold glare from Y/n. The students all looked a bit confused whenever this happened, but chalked it up to the usual antics of James Potter. 

In the courtyard or by the Black Lake, James would lay his head on Y/n’s lap, even if she pushed him off or was sitting with her knees up. There were roses on her bed and notes in her bag and it got to the point where Y/n didn’t even question how James had snuck into her dorm. 

If Y/n ever went to Hogsmead, James was sure to follow. No matter what she bought, he would pay for. Even if she got frustrated, he would slip the galleons up onto the counter, grinning at the cashier. He wanted to show her that he could provide for her and give her a nice home. As she would walk from shop to shop, he would point out colours of shops, saying, “oh, that would be a good colour for our bathroom. Look at that little cuckoo clock! Y/n, we have to get it.”

He would follow wherever she went, asking what seemed like meaningless questions. Have you ever had any pets? Do you like the country or city better? Any aspirations for your career? What’s a place you always wanted to visit? Y/n thought nothing of it, but to James, her answers were slowly sculpting his future. Would she want a dog or a cat in our home? Where should our house be? I would like the country so our kids could run around more, but we can easily make the city work if she wants. Should I be a stay-at-home dad? Or could we juggle two careers? Where should our honeymoon be? 

Quidditch games were no better, because after every goal the chaser scored – and he scored a lot – he would look to the stands, find his fiancée, and blow her a kiss. Before every match, one of his spare jerseys would be laid out on her bed, a small note attached, begging her to wear it. She never did and he always gave her a pout when he realised it. And God forbid she didn’t go to the games. Once, she had been studying for an upcoming exam and hadn’t been able to make it. James had thrown a fit. Sirius had to drag him away from Madame Hooch before he secured an entire year of detention, but the boy still refused to get in the air. Madame Hooch threatened to start the game and make Gryffindor play a catcher down, but thankfully Remus and Peter had just found Y/n and dragged her to the pitch. The moment James saw her, he beamed and kicked off, broom now in the air. They had ended up winning. James spent the afterparty with his head on Y/n’s lap, arms reaching up to encircle her waist. He continuously reminded her how awful it would’ve been if she hadn’t shown up and only shut up when she began running her fingers through his hair.

And every night, no matter if he went to bed first or she did, James would always go over to Y/n and give her a soft kiss on the forehead and a whispered, “sweet dreams.” No matter where she was, this became a daily occurance in Y/n’s life. At first, she tried to avoid it by sneaking off to the library whenever James began yawning and tossing around the idea of going to bed. But he would find her. She tried the kitchens, hoping he didn’t think to look for her there. But he would find her. She tried being in a group with her friends, in animated conversations. But he would weave his way through the group, step in front of her, and still say goodnight. It was like he had this magical map that told him where she was at all times. It was bloody infuriating. 

Much to James’ dismay, no progress seemed to be made. At least she was staying faithful to her fiancé, the Marauders reassured him as James griped and moaned. He would sling himself onto a common room chair, conveniently in the earshot of his dearest. Y/n would just roll her eyes. 

The majority of Hogwarts didn’t know what to do with them. The girls would swoon when they heard the new thing James Potter had come up with to woo Y/n L/n. The boys would huff and grumble about needing to step up their own game when it came to their girlfriends. James was setting the bar too high. The teachers would sit around, taking time to sip a well-deserved drink, as they complained how if L/n didn’t soon see the boy that was right in front of her, helpless to his love, then Potter was going to have a breakdown.

Yet, Y/n continued to push him away. James could be patient. He had been waiting practically seven years – he could wait a little more, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt whenever she brushed him off. She could’ve said no to the engagement. She could’ve punched or hexed him. It didn’t seem like she truly hated him, more like she was embarrassed and tired of him. 

“I don’t get it,” James said finally one night. He laid out on his bed, long limbs stretching over the place as Peter and Sirius played Exploding Snap on the floor. 

Remus was reading on his own bed. The werewolf sighed, knowing where this was going. “What don’t you get, Prongs?” 

“Why doesn’t Y/n like me?” James murmured, looking at his friends with large, hurt eyes. 

“Mate,” Sirius said. One of the cards exploded, making Peter flinch. “Listen. She likes you, yeah? How else are you able to get close to her? I swear, you were practically on top of her a couple days ago.” He scoffed and laid down a card. 

James groaned loudly and exclaimed, “but I’ve tried everything! Hell, we’re literally engaged! I can’t go through an entire marriage like this. Especially not with the woman I love.”

Peter piped up, smiling sincerely at James. “Hey, I’m sure she’ll realise it soon enough. I think she loves you back. She’s just scared.”

“But I’m me!” James shouted out. “I’m not scary!” He looked around wildly at his friends. “Am I?” he asked pathetically.

“I think if you have to ask if you’re scary,” Remus pointed out, “then you’re not scary.”

Sirius grinned. “Excellent point, as always, Moony.”

Remus sighed and gave James a pointed look. “Perhaps, the best thing to do is talk to her. Since she is your future wife, after all.” 

“I do talk to her!” James argued. “I ask her about her day and tell her about our pranks. She- she responds. She’s very sweet, you know, but she never shows any affection.”

“Maybe you’re pressuring her,” Peter commented. “By being all lovey-dovey. You could try being her friend first?”

James didn’t think he could do that. He already thought of Y/n as his wife. He already thought of her as one of his best friends. But what else could he do to get her to feel the same way?

The next week, James took Peter’s words into consideration. Instead of leaving flowers in her dorm, James asked if he could join her in the library for a study session. Instead of blowing her kisses during Quidditch games, he just waved. Instead of envisioning their future, he focused on the present. 

It wasn’t until three weeks had passed that James noticed the results. Y/n began coming to him with some questions on schoolwork. Y/n waved back at Quidditch games, shooting him a thumbs up in encouragement. Y/n wouldn’t fiddle with her engagement ring nervously, as if worried someone would spot it. 

The girl noticed her changed behaviour too. On a random Thursday, when James came to kiss her goodnight, she paused her conversation and whispered back, “sleep well,” angling her body so he wouldn’t have to reach as far to kiss her temple. Soon after, she excused herself from her friends, flustered. Y/n paced around her dorm, twisting the ring back and forth. 

A knock came at the door. “Hey,” James murmured as he pushed open the door. “Are you okay?”

Y/n turned to face him. “You actually care about me, don’t you?” she whispered. 

James couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course,” he replied. “Why on earth would you think otherwise?”

She shrugged. “It seemed fake, you know? Like this one big prank to single me out. But then you actually seemed excited and willing to marry me, James. Marriage. This is the rest of our lives and we haven’t even kissed!”

James cracked a smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can fix that really easily.”

“But you think you’re in this for the long run?” Y/n asked desperately. “For- for the fights? The late nights? The chores? And we haven’t even talked if we want kids or not!”

“Love,” he interrupted her spiral. “Have you thought about the waking up every morning in my arms? The dancing in the kitchen for no reason? The anniversary dinners where I profess my love over and over again?” He stepped forward, placing his warm hands on her arms soothingly. “And if you want, I would love to have mini replicas of us running around, waking us up in the middle of the night because of a night terror. I would love for them to disrupt our dancing in the kitchen by demanding they want to dance too. And I would love for them to groan when they see me being all sappy towards my wife.”

How could any girl say no when James Potter was standing before her, promising her endless devotion? The kiss was slow, James’ lips slowly moving against hers. He revelled in the warmth of her body and how her head tilted to him as he cupped her cheek gently. All short and lovely and sweet, the kisses were exactly how James had dreamed. 

The couple parted and the boy stared down at her. His finger went up to brush her bottom lip before murmuring, “will you marry me?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

[meloyellow236]

The TWST boys write letters to Yuu/The Prefect!

All of them except for Ortho+Checka are meant to be interpreted as romantic, but many can be interpreted as platonic as well. The reader is gender-neutral, but more feminine adjectives will be used when referring to them. Rollo's part is fairly suggestive. Characters will probably be a bit OOC.

Minor spoilers for their respective books in each section, but I try to keep it as spoiler-free as I can, except for who overbloted. If anyone has any questions or comments, please leave an ask or comment :)

NRC:

Heartslabyul:  

Riddle Rosehearts - 

My dearest rose, 

You are the loveliest person I have ever known. It is a miracle that you chose to get to know me, and even more so after I hurt you and your friends so deeply. I have made many mistakes, but you, my rose, look past them. I understand that you may choose to go home one day, but even so... 

Please just give me a moment of your time, a fraction of your thoughts, and I’ll be satisfied. Any inch of you that I can get, I want, even if you still believe me a tyrant. If it pleased you- No, if it only made you look my way, I would gladly break any rule of the queen’s or my mother’s. Understand that, my rose, and I am sure you’ll know what remains unsaid in this letter. 

Yours Truly, 

Riddle Rosehearts 

Trey Clover - 

Prefect, 

Hello. I wanted to thank you, first and foremost, for helping out Heartslabyul so much. You’ve been a very good influence on Ace and Duece, and it’s nice to see Cater open up to someone. Not to mention, Riddle’s been improving every day. I can’t even describe how much you’ve helped me... I just hope you know that I’ll always be grateful for what you’ve done. You’re welcome at Heartsabyul at any time. I have some donuts waiting for you if you want. 

From, 

Trey. 

Cater Diamond - 

Prefect, 

Heyyy! Whatcha doing right now? I’m sooooo happy that you came to NRC even if, like, all of the housewarden’s tried to ratio you. I do not subscribe to that, BTW. #NotCool, #Yikes-A-Tron. But,  like... On a more serious note, I am happy that I got to know you. It’s nice to have someone I can just be myself around. No drama, no expectations, just... Yeah. I know that you’re gonna leave at some point, and it’s almost a relief. You’re honest about it, which is something that many can’t say. 

Ugh, that was probs TMI! I’m not trying to trauma dump here, oops. There’s this cute cafe that opened up downtown, totally Magicam-worthy. You wanna meet up there sometime? 

- Cay-cay ♦️  

Ace Trapolla - 

Prefect!! 

I need your help! So, Trein’s got this super hard test coming up on Friday- Like, Riddle-got-a-99-last-year level of hard. Yeah, that’s without the extra credit, but STILL! That’s failure to the tyrant! So, you’ve got to come over to Heartslabyul right now and help me study. Pleaseeeee!!!! I’ll owe you one! 

Oh, and don’t bring Grim. Deuce’s also got plans, there’s no need to ask him. You know, in case that matters to you. 

See ya, 

Ace 

Deuce Spade - 

Dear Prefect, 

Hello, how are you doing? Can you believe that it’s already been so long since we became friends? When we broke that chandelier, I was ready to never talk to you again... But now look at us! I’m on my way to becoming an honor student, and you’re working on finding your way home! I’m happy that you’re going to be able to go soon, I know how bad it feels not to be able to see your family (and probably friends in your case) after so long away, but also sad that you’ll be leaving us. 

I’ve got it! Let’s get your ghost camera, and we’ll take lots of photos of us all over campus! Two of each, so that way no matter what, both of us will always remember what we went through together. That sounds like a good idea, right? 

From, 

Duece 

Savanaclaw: 

Leona Kingscholar - 

Herbivore, 

Hey. You’re an idiot, you know that? You’re stupid and impulsive and don’t know when to quit or give up. That’s why you keep looking for me in the botanical gardens, right? You just don’t know when to stop. I’m sure that you’ll realize I’m not worth your effort soon enough. But until then, you have to come to see me more often. You’re my pillow, I don’t get good enough sleep if you’re not there. 

I’m in the usual place. Get over here as soon as possible. 

- Leona 

Ruggie Bucchi - 

Hiya, Prefect... 

I’ve been thinking, and you should let me come over to Ramshackle and fix the place up for you. No upfront cost, of course, but... I want the right to use the kitchen as I please, whenever I please. 

Why, you’re asking? Shishishi... Not telling. You’ve just got to trust me on this, I’ll make it worth your while. Then again, maybe I’ll just blow the kitchen up and you’ll have to live at Savanclaw again! That’d be fun, huh? 

If you don’t want me to, ya better give up your kitchen for a little while! I’ll get that microwave up and running again in no time.

- Ruggie 

Jack Howl - 

Dear Prefect, 

Hello, have you been feeling alright? I’ve noticed that Crowley isn’t the best provider of food. While on my morning runs, I’ve noticed Grim loudly talking about how he doesn’t have enough tuna. He does it pretty often. So, I’ve thought of a solution; You could try eating breakfast with me. I always get big portions, so you could have some. If you want, I could even try lifting you and carrying you places. I need to get better strength training anyway, and then you’ll have a buddy to get stronger with. It’s always better to have a friend with you. 

From, 

Jack 

Octavinelle: 

Azul Ashengrotto - 

My Pearl, 

Allow me to start this letter by saying that you are truly the crown jewel of my riches and that none can replace your beauty. You are the loveliest, most perfect little pearl, and I adore you with my whole heart. And yet, I cannot seem to convince myself that you feel the same. You say you do, and even if it is a crime to believe your lips hold lies, I cannot believe that to be true. If it was, why? Not just why you would tell me- A scheming man who has hurt you and your friends- that I hold the keys to your heart, but why you would choose what I hold underneath. I’m no good for you in terms of personality or how I look, and yet... You still hold me dear. And for that alone, I want to take you to the Coral Sea where my home lies, but not for a deal this time. Just... Because I want you and my mother in the same place. The two most important people to me meeting... That’s the best thing I can think of, to be honest. 

With Love, 

Azul Ashengrotto 

Jade Leech - 

Dearest Prefect, 

It has come to my attention that you haven’t had a chance to enjoy a proper mushroom dish since arriving in Twisted Wonderland. Now, that will not do for much longer. This letter should contain a box with three containers worth of mushroom dishes. You are to eat them and write back to me with what you thought of each of them. In return, I shall continue to provide you with free food. 

Do be warned, however, that they should all be eaten as fast as possible once you get them in case my brother chooses to throw them out. Also, so that way Grim cannot eat them. I would not recommend it for a cat.

Kind Regards, 

Jade Leech 

Floyd Leech - 

Shrimpy!!!!!! 

You and me. In the courtyard. Now. 

I’m going to squeeze you. 

🐬°˖𓍢✨໋ 🐋✧°.🐟⋆ 

🦐🥢🥢🥢🥢🧨 

I’ll see you later if you want me to or not. 

- Floyd <3333333 

Scarabia: 

Kalim Al-Asim - 

Hello!!!!

I love you!!! I love you, I love you, I love you! You’re the most wonderful person in this school, and you’ve done so much for both me and Jamil! It would be silly for me not to love you. I love how your hair looked in the wind when we went on that carpet ride, I love how you looked in the school’s uniform and how you looked when you tried on my dorms, and I love how you look no matter how you dress because you’re a beautiful person inside and out! I love you, and nothing can change that! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ 

Hugs and kisses, 

Kalim Al-Asim 

P.S. Let’s go on another magic carpet ride soon, okay? I want to show you how pretty the moon looks when it’s full and you’re flying!

Jamil Viper - 

Dear Prefect,

Thank you for saving me when I overblotted. I am aware that what I did was wrong, and I apologize. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Either way, I feel as though I must do something more for you to show you that. Please come to Scarabia tonight. I will make you a special dinner if you do. Please, don’t tell Kalim. I want... something special, for the two of us this time. 

See you later, 

Jamil Viper

Pomefiore: 

Vil Schoenheit - 

My Dearest Potato, 

I regret to inform you that you have bewitched me. So much so that I willingly took on a role as a villain in this next movie. The villain falls in love with the hero’s love interest, and then, in a “shocking” turn of events, she chooses the villain to stand by. Of course, they’re both defeated, the hero gets with his childhood friend in some lesson of how love will always be waiting for you, whatever. But I still chose it, even if Neige plays the hero. 

I finally have a love interest, and they remind me of you. You could have stood by his side, you know. You should have. I poisoned him; That action speaks for itself. And yet, you decided to stay with me. Just like how that villain in this story gets the girl the hero originally wanted. 

I’ve won your heart as well, haven’t I? 

Sincerely, 

Vil Schoenheit 

Rook Hunt - 

Trickster, 

Bonjour, mon amour! I could not resist sending you another letter. You see my darling, I long for you like I long for the sunset on a hot day, for an oasis in a desert, for a hint of rain during the dry season, for the sun during the days when it pours. I'd imagine you'd taste like the rain as well, Trickster, and if given the chance, I'd taste again and again, in an attempt to satiate more than just my curiosity. 

Oh, Trickster, have you any idea how you’ve bewitched me? Why, just the sight of you is enough to send me spiraling, wishing for the smallest fraction of a chance that my affections are shared. How cruel is fate, to deny me the right to live and die within your arms? La petite mort would be heaven if it was with you, but death would truly come for me if it wasn’t. 

Je t'aime de tout mon coeur, 

Le Chasseur D'Armour 

Epel Felmeir - 

Prefect, 

I need some help. I found out that milk can make ya grow stronger, and also help you get taller. However, Vil has banned me from drinking it because I drank a carton in two days. Something about it raising my cholesterol or making me break out, I don’t care. So, I need to keep it at Ramshackle. That’s okay with you, right? Well, I sure hope it is, cause it’s getting in there if ya want it to or not! I’ll see ya soon, just make sure it’s in the fridge. I’ll get ya some of my family’s apple juice in return, it’ll be good. I reckon ya liked it last time. 

Epel 

Ignihyde: 

Idia Shroud - 

Prefect, 

Get to my room, and fast. There’s an event taking place, and I need a player two. This one requires another person to be in the same room, so I can’t ask any of my mutuals, and you’re the only one I trust with this. I can’t ask Ortho either, don’t ask why. 

Also I recently got pink lights in my room like those normies. That’s why everything looks kind of pink, it’s not my hair. Just in case you were wondering if I was embarrassed or whatever, you’re wrong. Just get over here ASAP, no time to waste. 

- Gloomurai 

Ortho Shroud - 

Hello, how are you? ( ˵ •̀ ᴗ •́˵) I am very happy to get a chance to talk with you. I have recently learned how to type out these little faces called ‘kaomoji’ that my big brother loves. Here are some of my favorites: 

♡✧( •⌄• ) 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

•ω• 

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ - This one is a cat! 

I would like to share more with you. Please come to Ignihyde so I can teach you how to get them on your phone as well. I can provide free updates while you’re here if needed. (✿˶◕‿◕˶人◕ᴗ◕✿) 

Sent To: PerfectPrefect@email.com 

Date: XX/XX/XXXX 

Return Email: orthoshroud2@email.com 

Diasomnia: 

Malleus Dracona - 

My Dearest Child Of Man, 

If Longing was painful, how much farther would I have to fall to crash and burn at your feet? The only answer I can give is that I already would have. I would build monuments in your name and would offer you the world and more if only you would say you loved me back. 

Could this be considered love? Could these feelings I hold deep within my heart, only to divulge in the darkest hours of the night with none but the stars and you to bear witness to my passion, be a form of love? Or is this simply my yearning, a longing for your heart, and wanting to have someone to call my own? 

The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one I wanted next. How I wish I could scream your name from the rooftop, and raise my voice in song only to sing your praises. You have the face of an angel, and I am sure that you must have the mind of one as well, for even if the voices in your head remind you of nothing more than pain and suffering, they have still been able to mold you into the perfection you are today. But maybe you have devils as well, trying to smite you as you sleep, but just as I do all of your angels, I will pick them up and kiss their heads if they are a part of someone I care for so much. You are perfection, Child of Man, and this dragon wishes only to live with the crumbs of affection as my treasures. 

Yours Until The End Of Eternity, 

Prince Malleus Dracona Of Briar Valley Hornton 

Lilia Vanrouge - (Okay so for Lilia I could have SWORN that he calls the prefect ‘Beastie,’ but I can find that nowhere. Literally at all, no one seems to have used it for him, but I know that I’ve seen at least one person do it. I now think that it’s a headcanon thing but I’m not sure, if anyone knows who did this or if it’s canon, please tell me. I’ve been searching for far too long and I am in too deep.)

Beastie, 

Hello, my darling~! I have an easy-peasy little request for you, m’kay? You just need to travel over to Diasomnia, and then... I’ll make you a meal! Malleus has been out trying to find this one gargoyle on campus all day since I brought up wanting to learn a new recipe, and Sebek and Silver both ran off earlier to go help him. I don’t know how to tell them that the gargoyle they’re looking for definitely isn’t at Night Raven College. Raising kids is quite hard, especially when things like this come up... 

But you’ll be there for me, won’t you, Beastie? Pretty please? I’ll see you tonight if you want to, a little date if you feel up to it. Mwah! 

xoxo, 

Lilia 

Silver “Vanrouge” - 

Dear Prefect, 

I had the most wonderful dream. I think I did, at least. I can’t remember it, but I remember how familiar these eyes were, and I knew it was you as soon as I awoke. And I know it's true, that dreams are seldom what they seem... But if I know how you are, then I know what you'll do; You'll look at me the same way you did once upon inside my dreams. And tell me all about the animals that you found with me when I awoke. What I wouldn’t give to hear you tell me about every birdie that comes to me; I’d be willing to fall asleep in the forest every day if only to hear you cooing to the birds when I come to. I wonder if each little bird has someone to sing sweet things to, a little love melody like what I long to play for you one day. Well, either way, I’m growing sleepy now. The effects of my curse will soon be on me once more. I’ll see you either later today or tomorrow, depending on how long I’m asleep. If you need me or simply wish to keep me company, I’m currently resting in the woods. 

Best Wishes, 

Silver 

Sebek Zigvolt - 

HUMAN! 

I have something to show you; A new notebook to be filled, gifted to me by Master Lilia. He said that it is a ‘scrapbook’, which humans fill up with pictures and drawings of themselves and their friends. To fulfill the purpose of this illustrious gift, you must come to Diasomnia at once! You shall be the first of the first years to be added, along with Silver. Prepare enough of those photographs you have to fill half of the book. The other shall be dedicated to Wakasama! 

Sincerely, 

Sebek Zigvolt  

RSA+NBC: 

Che’nya - 

Prefect... 

When are you going to visit RSA, huh? It would be purrr-fect to get a chance to see you again. You’re quite the pretty purr-son, dontcha think? Or maybe I’ll just drop by at the next unbirthday party... Riddle and Trey would like that, but I wonder what you’d think. Hum-hum-hummm... 

Kitty Kisses, 

Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker <3 

Neige Leblanche - (The Reader is called NRC’s ‘princess’ in this one, but not called a woman or anything)

My Dearest, 

Hello! How are you fairing? Have you been doing okay since the VDC? I know that you looked pretty shaken up back then, so I wanted to make sure that you’ve been okay. After all, you’re NRC’s princess! As far as I can tell, anyway. I’m happy that there’s someone around Vil like you, he always looked like he needed a good cheering up. And you’re like a fairytale! Such pretty hair and eyes and skin; Oh, I’d ride away with you on a white horse if I could! 

Ah, that’s odd to say to someone I don’t know very well, isn’t it? I’m sorry, that’s my fault. You still want to be friends, right? If you do, please come visit me at some point. Or, just send me a letter back. I’ll make sure that you get priority over any fan letter. 

Love, 

Neige Leblanche 

Rollo Flamme - (Kinda sugesstive) 

Mon Amour, 

There are times I wish I could tear you down and take you apart only to sew you back together. Rip you to shreds only to tenderly put each piece back where it should be. Drink from you until there's nothing left and then fill you up with all of the love I could offer, make you mine and mine alone. Those greedy thoughts shouldn't even make their way onto this paper, shouldn’t even be in my head, and yet here I am, penning them in a letter never to be sent. 

I truly wish you never see these letters, for I'd hate to be the reason your face turns to disgust, even if for a moment. Of course, I don't regret writing them. You will never read them, after all, but I believe I should get my thoughts out like this rather than bottle them up, lest I do something stupid and let you see them. I pray that you will never have to see me in a state like how I write to you, over my bedside table in the dead of night, eyes barely open and breath still recovering from dreams of a sweeter pleasure than I should sully your name with. 

I mention those dreams I have of you a lot, it seems, although I mean it in the most innocent way possible. Ever since I met you, you've infested my dreams and wormed your way into my heart like a parasite I can't rid myself of. My dreams are all of the sweet moments I have longed for and never gotten. I only have eyes for you, after all, and a saint may never lie with a sinner, lest they become one as well. 

Bonus: 

Checka Kingscholar - 

To Perfect, 

Hello! I am Checka Kingscholar. I am fiv years old. I like my unca. I like my dad and I love my mom. I love you! Goodbye! •ᴗ•

[kairisea]

🌊𓈒𓏸Something New𓏸𓈒🌊

SUMMARY: You and Kinich are officially a couple, and despite the awkwardness of the whole thing (since you're both new at relationships), you wanted to get him something to show your appreciation.

NOTES: gn!reader x aroace Kinich, demiromantic/asexual, though neither is actually mentioned. Reader is implied to be a Natlan native. It's assumed you've done the AQ and his SQ, but should be fine to read without doing either

WARNINGS: None, really, just fluff

COMMENTS: I finished Kinich's quest, and fell deeper in love with him than I already was. So I wanted to write a fic in celebration of his release and quest! Though I must say, this is not the fic I intended to write. My brain wanted something else I guess.

Ever since you and Kinich started dating, things between you seemed awkward. It's not like you knew how to be romantic. And clearly, he was the same. You'd still hang out, and talk, and go places, but when it came to anything romantic, you both were hopelessly lost. Not for a lack of trying.

Ajaw would laugh at your every attempt at something romantic, as you failed spectacularly. Though if something got too corny or actually romantic, Ajaw would always become frustrated and leave. It was clear he just wanted to watch you struggle. He hated the lovey-dovey stuff.

You decided to ask your friends and research the subject, in hopes to become better. Your research led to a lot of fiction, which didn't seem like a good source of information to you. Your friends were able to give you some pointers, but they were mostly about flirting, which you thought was less than useful considering you were together already. Still, they at least had some useful tips.

So here you are, at a traveling merchant, looking through their stock. You're looking for something specific, and if anyone in Natlan would have it, it'd be a traveling merchant, since it doesn't grow here. The merchant seems to get a bit irritated, but then you lay your eyes on your prize. A Rainbow Rose. Native to Fontaine, your friends told you it was a symbol of love. Perfect to give to Kinich.

"I'll take one Rainbow Rose, please!" you asked the man.

"That'll be 7 thousand mora." he replied bluntly. 7 thousand?!?! you thought. That seems absurd! For one flower!? But it's not like I have any other options... You'd come all this way, determined to by a Rainbow Rose for him, and it's not like you didn't have the budget... you'd just have to cut out some other things off the list of things to buy.

You sighed. "Alright, I'll take it." Maybe you'd have been better going to Fontaine yourself, though going there probably wouldn't be an option even if you wanted to. You knew you could've tried haggling, but it was never your strong suit, plus this guy seemed pretty big, and you didn't want to anger him or anything. So you just handed over the mora.

"Pleasure doing business!" He seemed really proud of himself as he handed you the single rose. You debated asking for more, but you had only asked for one, and you were certain that's what he'd say back. Still, you had your gift. It was time to head to his house and give it to him. Let's just hope this didn't go horribly wrong...

You made your way to Kinich's home, building up the courage to knock. You wondered if he was even home. There was no way to tell without knocking, so that's what you did. You held the rose behind you, it had to be a surprise after all. You anxiously for an answer, thinking you had been right and he wasn't home. You knocked again just in case.

"Kiniiich! Are you deaf!? Someone's at the door! As a servant to the great K'uhul Ajaw, you oughta be quick to answer it!!!" You could hear Ajaw yell through the door. It was quite clear he wouldn't be the one to answer the door, but that was already assumed. At least you knew Kinich was home now.

"Calm down, Ajaw. If you're really that impatient you could've answered it yourself." You heard Kinich approach the door. Suddenly you were very aware of what you were about to do. Your nerves seemed like the could burst out of you at any moment. Your heart was running a marathon. As your thoughts were running, Kinich opened the door. "Oh, it's you. What brings you here?"

He seemed so calm. He never was really the type to be mushy gushy, and you appreciated that about him. Though it certainly didn't help your nerves. "Well, considering we're... well, partners. I wanted to get you something. To... show my appreciation! And... well... my love for you..." You trailed off in embarrassment, avoiding his gaze.

"Ahh, it's that human again! Well, do you have some entertainment for us? Another way to spectacularly fail?" Ajaw laughed. You and Kinich did not. "Or maybe you have a gift to offer to the Almighty Dragonlord, K'uhul Ajaw! Something to prove your worth?"

"They said it was a gift for me, not you. And don't make fun of us." He glared at Ajaw, and the saurian shut up with a 'hmph'. He mumbled something about disrespect, but you couldn't quite make it out. "Well? What do you have for me?"

You hoped Ajaw wouldn't make fun of you, and hoped Kinich would like it. "Well..." You pulled the rainbow rose out from behind your back, presenting it to him. "It's called a rainbow rose, from Fontaine. It... I heard it was a symbol of love... so I wanted to give you one." You looked at him from the corner or your eyes for his reaction.

"Hmph! I'm glad it's not an offering to us! A symbol of love? Tch. Perfect for you couple of lovebirds." Ajaw remarked

"We're hardly lovebirds, Ajaw. We're not that experienced. Besides, if you hate it so much, why don't you leave?" He queried Ajaw. "This is a lovely gift." He takes the flower from your hands. He didn't smile often, but you could see a small one on his face just then.

Ajaw hmphed away. "You like it?" you asked him, and he quickly nodded in response. "I'm glad." Suddenly, the 7 thousand mora felt entirely worth it. Though knowing Kinich, the next thing he was going to say would be-

"How much did it cost?" You sighed at his predictability.

"I'm not telling you this time. You don't have to pay me back, really." Knowing him, he still wouldn't accept that.

"If you won't tell me, I guess I'll have to find some other way to reimburse you." You knew he'd say something like that. You were also glad he didn't press on the price. Who knows what he'd say if you told him? "Why don't you come inside? I can get this flower in some water and we can... chill together."

"That sounds great." You tried not to seem too excited at the idea, but you couldn't hide your smile as you entered the house at his signal. You sat down on the couch as you watched Kinich pull out a vase, fill it with water, and put the rose in it. Afterwards, he came and sat down next to you on the couch. Once again, things were awkward. At least you got one good moment. Maybe this could be a good moment to loosen up?

"You two really are hopeless. Maybe I need to give you some pointers, because clearly you suck at this!" Ajaw seemed both annoyed, but also prideful, as if he really could teach you something about romance. Could he..?

I might end up making a part two to this, where Ajaw teaches you something, or you naturally learn it, and get more comfortable with Kinich. Idk, if you want to see a part two, let me know!

I also want to make a modern AU fic where you move in with Kinich, so let me know if you want to see that, too.

Also for the rainbow rose part, I want you to know I asked a friend for a number between 1 and 60 (hi friend) and they gave me 7 or 42. With 1 mora being 1 cent, I didn't want the poor reader to actually end up needing to spend $420 on a single rose XD If you're wondering why between 1 and 60, it's because 1,000 mora is the usual price for local specialties. But of course, there's someone in Ritou selling dandelion seeds for 60,000 mora, so that set my range for someone selling outside of a nation. Anyway just fun research stuff I spent too much time doing for little to no impact :) (Also yes that means the rainbow rose was $70 USD, pretty pricey if I do say so myself😬)

If you enjoyed this, feel free to learn more about me and what I do here! You can also see if my requests are open there if you want something yourself!

[leaawrites]

Lost all your common sense

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Summary: in which a misunderstanding changes it all.

Or

The happy ending of part one: Coincidence

Warnings: a bit of angst, fluff, misunderstanding, this is pure fiction

Wordcount: 0.6k

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

Leaving would always be hard, it would always break you. Looking around the apartment that now looked like the first time she walked into it, something in her died.

None of her stuff was still laying around the floor, no clothes were thrown somewhere, it was all plain now. With her suitcase standing beside her she wrote the note she thought about for so long. Max was out with Kelly and P again. He didn’t even tell her this time. She woke up alone and figured it out when she saw his ‘good’ clothes taken out of the closet.

She loved him and she was sure he loved her, to a certain degree at least. But something made him stop at that. Something he didn’t tell her about.

Turning around she was about to open the door, for the last time. Putting her hand on the handle she felt it moving without putting any pressure on it. The door opened and in walked the man of the hour. Max only stopped walking and looking up from his phone when he saw her feet in front of him. Suitcase next to her.

“Where are you going?” Max asked, looking between her and the suitcase. When she didn’t answer he continued asking questions. “Are you going on vacation?”

She looked at him unimpressed, her eyes red and her lip sucked between her teeth. Chewing on it.

“Babe, what is going on?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Max.”

“What?” Anxiety was creeping up on him. The feeling he had feared was coming to get him.

“I don’t think I’m the right person, Max. I’ve seen the photos of you and Kelly. I’ve seen how you look at her. I don’t think I can cope with that,” she said, trying to get past him and away from the tension that was building around them.

But Max had other plans. He closed the behind him, not letting her get past.

“Max, let me go,” she practically begged him, trying to get by once more. But Max started talking again, making her stop.

“I didn’t know who else to ask and I was scared figuring it out alone. So, when I met Kelly the first time I told her about it and she offered to help me,” he started explaining, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Max, what are you talking about?” She asked, feeling the annoyance and fear already creeping up her spine.

“I didn’t plan it like this, but…” he trailed off at the end of his sentence, taking her hand in his and walking to the middle of the living room.

He looked unsure for a second longer before he finally moved again. Putting one of his knees down on the ground and searching for something in his jeans pocket.

“Max,” she warned him in case he was just playing with her.

“Y/n,” he said back, smiling up at her as he held a velvet box in between his fingers. “I love you, only you. I don’t think that will ever change. I know that I’ve been walking on thin ice planing this and if you still want to leave I wouldn’t blame you. But I just want you to know that if you want to spent your life with me just like I want to spent mine with you, I’m ready. I don’t ever wanna miss you like I would if you walk out that door. I want to be yours. Do you wanna be mine?”

Her heart was racing, tears falling from her eyes. She couldn’t believe it. But she did. She nodded her head, mumbling ‘yes’ over and over again. Falling to her knees herself and throwing her arms around his neck.

----

I hope you're happier with this ending, than the last one.

Taglist: @ellelabelle @loloekie @ariesandwolves @sunny44 @gr1mes-cc @hrlzy @atintina

[yuri-is-online]

Jade desperately googling and reading threads about mer x human pregnancies before he even dates yuu.

It differs from species to species, usually fem mer x male human results in viable pregnancies, there are a two articles about eels and humans, but none about morays.

His hope is dwindling, and the general consensus about deep sea folk relationships with humans isn't very good.

I HC that male mer x female human pregnancies don't last very long. After the sperm makes contact with an egg, it'll need a few months of growth before it's expelled from the body and put into the sea. Those kinds of couples usually have one child at a time, it depends on the number of available eggs.

Modern day people in twst have aquariums that are made to hold the clutches in a safe environment away from predators. The aquariums can be used both underwater and on land. After 'hatching' the babies are translucent, they are kept in the aquariums until they gain colour. Once they have enough colour they are let out.

The smallest aquariums need to hold at least one human adult, so that a parent can interact and communicate with their clutch during the growing process.

I think I read a post/fic with a similar headcannon to this? Long long ago, perhaps even before I even downloaded Twisted Wonderland. I don't fully remember... but it is something I have been thinking about a decent bit ever since you sent this ask because it raises so many questions.

I think it makes the most sense in human x mer relationships for one or the other to take a transformation potion and move onto the land/into the sea. In these cases pregnancy/egg laying would go as it would "normally" but what you're suggesting made me think about what would happen if a couple got it on raw in their normal forms and not transformed. Would that result in a viable pregnancy? If it did would it produce the sorts of offspring you are suggesting or would it result in some sort of hybrid child, barely held together by their own magic?

The aquariums are a good idea, the story seems to suggest that Jade and Floyd had other siblings once but they didn't make it. Their mother's obsession with checking up on them and teaching self defense makes a lot of sense if you think of that... she lost most of her babies, she wants the two she has to remain safe (i bet she's going feral rn, let Mama Leech into the enclosure S.T.Y.X. she'll put Malleus in his place ٩(๑`^´๑)۶) My question is whether or not that would interfere with the development of the eggs, especially on land. The deep ocean is very cold, recreating that on land could be problematic. With how few merfolk seem to bother with land (Azul mentions not many people bother with the free program in Book 6) there likely wouldn't be much of anyone thinking up a solution to this problem so few people have.

But Jade has that problem. Or will, he's sure of it but that's a minor detail- point is this is a problem he's actively thinking about. It keeps him awake at night, Jade strikes me as someone who would do a lot of research about this. It's part of how he loves, pouring through a pile of scientific articles that was slim to begin with but feel irrelevant now. None of these help him understand his chances because he is from the deep sea, Jade might be hardened towards the death of his siblings but he thinks of his own children and a rage unlike any he's ever known begins to stir in the pit of his stomach. Later, much later when he is explaining this all to you he will brush it off as him considering your human sensibilities, but the truth is written plain on his face. This little aquarium he has made was a solution painstakingly crafted with help from his own obsessions. It's the most important terrarium he has ever made because it will contain the most precious of all life forms, ones he watches grow in awe as he coos softly. These children were wanted long before they were ever born, their parents loved them to the point of invention and every second up until they hatch and forever after.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mad Season 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, social anxiety, chronic illness, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker

Summary: a class project gets messy. (short!reader)

Note: happy weekend.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Hey, how’d you get in?” Peter rushes in, a tray of drinks in hand. 

You pop up on the stool, broken from your trance. Uncertain what else to do, you spent much of your time trying to distract yourself with his schematics. You twist to face him. 

“Um, Bucky,” you answer and cringe at home dumb you sound. “He helped.” 

“Bucky? Helpful?” He nears and puts the cardboard tray on the table, “I guess he can be.” He picks at the edge of the tray, “I got you a blueberry matcha. The place I hit didn’t have strawberry in season anymore.” 

“Oh, sounds... interesting, but you--” 

“Didn’t have to. I know, you always say so but I felt bad for being so late. I told may to get an airtag for her wallet. She can be so--” he stops himself and chuckles. “It’s whatever. She’s got a lot going on.” 

“Mhm,” you accept the cup he offers. “I was just looking over the plans. I think we could probably just go with yours. Makes more sense.” 

“What? Oh, no way,” he takes his iced whatever. It just looks like layers of sugar and cream. “I think we could easily bring together both. Take some of your features and mine. I don’t want to take over.” 

“Yeah, but...” 

“But nothing. Really. It’s a team project, not my project,” he insists as he hops up on the stool next to you, “so,” he swipes his hand in the air and a holographic screen appears. You flinch. “Let’s compare and redraw.” 

You gape as another floating rectangle appears before him. No wonder his look so much better than your Paint hack job. You want to sink down and disappear. You always figured you’re not interesting enough to be his friend but now you’re certain you might be too stupid and poor for him too. 

“So, I’m going to get logged in...” he mutters. 

“Um, Peter?” You murmur, “are you sure you wanna be my partner?” 

“Why... wouldn’t I?” He hovers his hand before the screen as he looks at you. 

“I dunno. I don’t... I don’t have much to offer. Not a lab, not all these cool computers...” 

“Oh this? No, it’s not—it's not a big deal. Dude, I'm so lucky Mr. Stark is letting me use this. I’m not ignorant, you know? I just thought it would be easier. I don’t think your roommates like me much and mine are so loud.” he explains as he lowers his arm, crossing both over the table as he leans on it. “Do you not want to be my partner?” 

“Nnnooo,” you drag the word out. “No, I do, but I want to contribute to and I don’t know how to use any of this.” 

“That’s cool. I’ll show you.” 

“Um, okay,” you nibble your lip sheepishly. “I guess...” 

“Did you try the tea? Is it good?” He changes the subject. He does that a lot. Pivots around before you can finish your thoughts. 

“Not yet,” you look down at the bright pink lid, “where did you get this?” 

“Some place called Berry? I don’t know. Everything was bright. You’d hate it,” he laughs again. “Oh,” he snaps his fingers as you blow into the lid cautiously. “Before I forget, I’m having a party. I know it’s not really your thing but it’s ‘my turn’,” he makes quotations with his fingers, “and I don’t really wanna but I also thought I'd invite you in case you wanted to not be there with me, too.” 

Your blink in surprise, “a party?” 

“I know, too much. Well, I didn’t wanna leave you out.” 

“Mmm,” you drone nervously. It is really nice of him to think of you and after everything else, you hate to say no. “No one ever invited me to a party.” 

“No?” His brow furrows, “really?” 

You shake your head, “I’ll come. Yeah. I’ll try. You know, it’s college and ...” you take a sip and clear your throat, “should I bring a dessert?” 

He laughs and gives you a playful grudge, “wow, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask me that except my aunt’s friends. Nope, you can just come as you are. You can always bring some drinks for yourself but I’ll have more than enough to share.” 

“Oh, okay,” you nod. 

“The tea good?” He asks again. 

“Yeah, sweet,” you put the cup down. 

“Awesome!” He grins. “I really didn’t think you’d come. I’m so excited.” 

“Really?” You ask. 

“Well, duh. You’re so fucking cool. Like all my other friends, they try so hard. It’s all ‘let’s go do shots’ or ‘watch me do this dumb shit’. You don’t even try, you’re just you. It’s like people don’t realize they can just be nice and be cool for just that.” 

“I... yeah,” you don’t know what to say.  

It’s like he’s calling you boring but not. You know you are and you don’t mind but you can’t ever remember when you just felt like everyone else. Where you weren’t the odd one out. Despite trying to include you, Peter still manages to push you to the edges. 

You wince as you notice how he stares at you. You fidget and pick at the button on the front of your corduroy skirt. His eyes flick down to the nervous movement. 

“I like that,” he reaches to touch the ridged fabric, “blue. Oh, thick.” 

Your leg twitches in surprise, “uh, yeah... found it at the student thrift shop.” 

“Really?” His fingers brush over the hem and touch your coloured tights. They linger for a moment before he pulls away. “Cute. I’ve never been there.” 

“It’s not bad...” you cross your legs as you knee tingles from his touch. That was strange. 

“Well, anyway,” he waggles his fingers as he turns back to the table, “uh, where was I?” He squints at the screens and taps in the air. He pauses and looks at you. “Here, I’ll show you how it work, alright?”  

He reaches over again and you brace yourself. He grabs the underside of the stool seat and drags you closer. He it so easily, you gasp. He’s a lot stronger than he looks. He slides his hand around so his arm is diagonal around your back. 

“Right, so...” his shoulder presses to you as he points with his other arm, “you can just use your finger. I’ll have to add your prints to the program. Put your hands up.” 

You obey as he stays close. You’re overly away of it. The way he’s pressed to you. He doesn’t seem to notice at all. You try not to think of it and focus on his instructions. The project. That’s why you’re here. 

[laf-outloud]

For any fan of Misha to believe what he supposedly said in today's panel about taking a prank too far, they must either be new to the fandom, or have absolutely no memory of these stories before.

Let's be honest, the fans who think Misha's telling the truth "this time" absolutely know it's not true and are using this new story to persecute Jared, once again.

For those who haven't seen, here are the tweet reports from Misha's panel. Obviously, video will provide proof, but there are enough details to get the gist and these aren't the standard Misha-fan con reporters that like to lie about or twist what was said.

So, the original story about Jared taking a picture was told by Misha on the Inside of You podcast (see below). There was no zero gravity dive. Misha simply forgot to lock the bathroom door. Jared took a picture of him on the toilet, not naked and with no urine in sight. And yes, in retaliation, Misha flushed Jared's phone... the one that had the only pictures of his son, Shep's birth.

As for the getting knocked around, being covered in urine, etc. That comes from a trip Misha took with Rich, Rob, and Matt down to Australia for a convention. Misha tells the story here:

Matt, Rob and Rich have all corroborated that story here and here. It's actually a pretty funny story on it's own.

So, Misha put together some mash up of these two stories, making him the victim (once again) of a dangerous stunt supposedly perpetrated by Jared (which no pilot would ever agree, especially without all passengers belted).

If you haven't caught on by now, Misha lies. And he lies for a purpose. Most often, it's to engender sympathy from his fans so they'll continue to see him as poor, picked-on Misha who can related to them because they are also the 'outcasts' in their world. And if he can relate to them, then they'll continue to give him their money.

You may also wonder why Misha frequently references Jared as being the one to prank him (and often, the only one). One, because he needs Jensen as the other half of the Destiel pairing, which is another way to keep his fans dropping money in the coffers. And two... jealousy. From past stories and behavior, it's obvious Misha's jealous that Jared is as successful as he is, someone who never went to college but has worked steadily for over 24 years in an industry rife with unemployment. Misha likes to say things that imply Jared's only gotten by on his looks and not any kind of talent, but we know that's simply not the case. Actor's aren't employed for that long and that consistent on their looks alone. Talent and hard work are also needed, two traits which Misha obviously doesn't have, so he resorts to stringing along his dwindling fanbase with any story he can, regardless of it's veracity or whom it may hurt in the process.

Finally, Misha knows exactly who his fans are and how his fanbase takes the things he's said, so if he's ever called out and says he was joking and that people misinterpreted what he said, he's lying. And I'd say that lying was the only thing he was good at if it weren't so easy to debunk the lies.

[stinkyturd]

Ground Level

Rui Mizuki/Reader

Comments: Rui gets a happy ending, woooooooooo!

"The curse of Antaeus...?"

You're currently seated on a rolling chair in the research lab with Yuri and Jiro of Mortkranken. Just the previous night you had returned from a mission with Haru and Towa. The Chancellor had assigned the three of you to deal with a golem type anomaly that had been frequently spotted in a forest outside of Darkwick. Preferably, Cornelius wanted the creature detained or slain, but it became clear to all of you that there was no way you'd be able to capture it due to its size. And once Towa began communicating with it, he was very quick in his refusal to kill it. 

Apparently, the anomaly Darkwick wanted rid of so badly was actually one that served to protect the forest. 

"Yes, I'd recognize that marking on your wrist anywhere. It is a pseudo blessing that supposedly originates from an earth goddess," Yuri insists. He's sitting in a chair across from you, examining your forearm with gloved hands. 

Right below the inside of your palm is a symbol etched into your skin that looks like an upside-down triangle with a slash through the tip. You recognize it vaguely as an alchemical symbol for earth.

"I thought the golem took a liking to us," You admit in exasperation. "How the hell did I end up with a double curse? I thought Towa said the golem told him that he wanted to give me a blessing!"

"To the anomaly, he very well may believe you have been given a blessing," Yuri comments nonchalantly. Glancing over his shoulder, the doctor snaps his fingers impatiently. "Jiro, scalpel!"

"Uh... scalpel?" You mutter with a nervous laugh. 

Jiro reaches for the bladed instrument on a nearby steel table and hands it to Yuri. 

Yuri's gaze hardens at you as he takes the tool from the Mortkranken vice-captain. "Do not question me! You came here for help-- did you not?"

You gulp, nodding reluctantly. "...Okay, okay."

Yuri brings the blade of the scalpel to your index finger and grazes it. To your surprise, you feel nothing. And you see nothing. The Mortkranken Captain furrows his brows.

"Uh... is that dull?" You ask skeptically. 

"Of course not," Yuri snaps. "What good does a dull scalpel do?"

Before you can make any further comment, the captain grazes the tool against your skin again, this time choosing your middle finger.

 

No cut, no blood, nothing. 

"...It's as I suspected," Yuri affirms as he releases your hand for the time being. His teal gaze meets yours. "You have acquired invincibility with limits."

"Huh...?" You tent your eyebrows in confusion. "How's that a curse?"

"This is a very uncommon occurrence, but if memory serves me correct-- and I know it does," Yuri starts, gassing himself up. "You have invincibility if and only if you're at ground level. The unpleasant aspect of this pseudo blessing is that in the event that you do become injured, it is far more laborious for your body to recover from it. In other words, serious injuries are now easily fatal for you."

Your jaw goes slack at the news. "Deadass?" 

"Deadass? What are you even saying?" Yuri retorts irritably. 

"I believe it is modern slang for questioning the validity of something," Jiro chimes in coolly. "I.E. 'Are you serious?'"

Yuri clicks his tongue impatiently, not bothering to turn in his vice-captain's direction. "I do not need your input; I can deduce these things for myself...! Anyway, speak clearly, Honor Student! How can you hope to ever integrate yourself into a professional setting using such primitive language?"

"How do we break it?" You ask, instead of acknowledging his reprimanding. 

Yuri presses his lips into a thin line as he averts his gaze. "I... I have yet to personally handle such a case, so that will require further research," The Captain reluctantly admits. 

"You said that the Jabberwock vice-captain is able to communicate with the golem?" Jiro asks, standing somewhere behind Yuri. 

You nod. 

"What will be done with it? The anomaly," Jiro clarifies.

"Uhm... Haru said he's going to try to communicate with the chancellor about using a method to draw humans away from the area, rather than trying to kill it. I'm not sure what that entails, but Towa decided the golem is very important to the forest."

"Hah! Good luck changing their mind," Yuri interjects derisively. 

"What do you recall of the anomaly granting you their 'blessing'?" Jiro asks, his ruby eyes regarding you lifelessly.

"It just came up to me and placed its hand on my head. Towa said that the golem claimed the blessing would help with my ‘fragility’. Then it went back into its cave," You explain. 

"And you did not think to move?!" Yuri near shouts. "Now you've given me double the work. How long until your other curse turns you into an anomaly? Five months?"

"Well, I didn't think it would curse me," You argue. 

"I think for the time being, as long as you're careful, this may actually be beneficial to you," Jiro remarks. "So long as you keep a foot on the ground, you will be invulnerable."

"Do not make such assertions so easily!" Yuri reprimands. "We must do a few experiments to test the validity of that claim."

Based on personal experience and word of mouth, very little good came from Yuri's experiments.

"What do the experiments entail, exactly...?" You ask, eyeing the Mortkranken Captain dubiously. 

"We will test your invulnerability with a scalpel on multiple types of surfaces, and on the second story of the building. It will determine your limits and just how useful this ability will be," Yuri replies, getting to his feet. 

Jiro nods at you encouragingly.

"...Okay. Let's do it then," You agree. 

Yuri performed the experiment as initially described, testing your durability on different surfaces. By the end of it all, it was determined that your skin is impenetrable on wood floors, stone, and soil. Metal was a no go, as well as the second story of the research lab. The Mortkranken Captain made two miniscule cuts on your fingertips that he made sure to immediately sew up, as it would be far more difficult to heal now.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, like Jiro said. But you still had plenty of questions. 

Once you are finished with everything and back on ground level in preparation to leave, Yuri hands you a small first aid kit.

"You were watching how I stitched your finger, correct? Be sure to ingrain it into your memory, as it may be necessary should you be far away."

"Yeah, I did! Thank you so much, Yuri," You reply earnestly as you take the box from him. "You're a real sweetie sometimes."

Crimson creeps up Yuri's neck and instantly bleeds into his face. The Mortkranken Captain yanks his hands away, taking a step back. "S-SWEETIE...?! HAVE YOU L-LOST YOUR MIND? WHO CALLS SOMEONE THAT?!"

A laugh escapes you. "Oh, sorry. I think Rui's rolodex of pet names is rubbing off on me."

"W-WELL...!" Yuri huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do not say that to me! You do not have my permission to address me as such!"

You smile a bit at that. "Sure, I'll keep that in mind." 

Yuri's endearing behavior mildly lightens your mood. And speaking of Rui... there was something that had been scratching your brain since the experiment had started. "Hey, Yuri..."

"What...?" The captain bites out, his flush receding as he begins to regain his composure.

"Do you think that I am also invincible to Rui's curse?" 

"...The reaper curse?" Yuri places a hand on his chin in deliberation. "It would be foolhardy to test that theory, but if any curse could combat that one... one would think it would be a ‘blessing’ from a goddess. Who is better suited to cheating death than a god?"

The thought was tempting. You had spent a lot of your time at Darkwick hanging out with Rui, and if you could touch him... that would be far more convenient for a lot of reasons. Some of those reasons being ones you haven't quite come to terms with. 

"Should I try it out?" You offer recklessly. 

Yuri wrinkles his face at the idea. "Knowing the outcome of such a risky endeavor would be incredibly beneficial to my research. However, if it doesn't work... who knows if you'd lose a limb? Worst case scenario-- you die."

"Yeah, that would suck, huh?"

"Should you choose to do it, be sure that I am in the area. And video call me so I can witness the results," Yuri requests, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

"Yeah… sounds good."

–

A few days pass, and you find yourself at the Obscuary bar after attending your classes for the day. You had initially come to spend time with Lyca and Rui, but when you arrive you find Haru seated at the bar as well. A few seats away from him sat Lyca and Edward. Rui is behind the bar preparing a cocktail, and his pink eyes catch yours the second you come into view.

“If it isn't my favorite cutie! Did you come all this way to see me?” Rui greets you with a wink. “It's been ages! I was worried you had forgotten about me!”

You smirk at his banter as you approach the bar. “Don't be so dramatic. It's been like three days max. And I've been texting you.” 

Of all the ghouls in the academy, Rui is among your favorites. You messaged each other frequently, just to catch up. Even when you didn't have time to come visit in person.

“(Y/N)...!” Haru calls out your name, stretching out all the syllables exuberantly. When you stop right next to the Jabberwock Captain, he sits up and slings an arm around your shoulder, patting your arm in an awkward side hug. You notice the scent of booze on his breath almost immediately, and not the anomalous plant kind. The Jabberwock Captain is absolutely sloshed. “How ya been? I talked to the Chancellor about… hic! Y'know.”

You return the hug by patting Haru's back with your left arm. “Really? What's the verdict?”

“Told ‘em bout… y'know. And they said…hic! Golem will live… and prototype was put in forest to keep…hic! Away humans,” Haru explains near unintelligibly. 

“And what about Towa talking to the Golem about… y'know?” You ask. You're not sure why Haru's insisting on calling the curse ‘y'know’, but you decide to go along with it. Though, you really hadn't told many people about it– not even the Obscuary students. 

“Hic…! In due time…” Haru replies vaguely, shooting you a cheesy grin as he gives you a thumbs up with his free hand. 

The goofy behavior from the inebriated captain elicits a snort out of you.

“Say, don't you think you've held on long enough Haru? You're gonna make a guy jealous over here,” Rui says, inserting himself into the conversation. The wry smile on his delicate features betrays his seemingly playful words.

“I think the gigolo is right for once. Let go of (Y/N)!” Lyca protests from your right, his brows creased.

“Haaah…? What'd I do?” Haru babbles in drunken confusion. 

“He's just drunk, Lyca,” You assure as you gently coax the Jabberwock Captain back into his seat. “You should seriously pace yourself Haru. This happens nearly every weekend.”

“Naaah! ‘M good! Feelin’ good,” Haru insists with a giggle. 

“What's this ‘y'know’ talk about? Keeping secrets from me, Cutie?” Rui pries in a lighthearted tone. The way he's holding your gaze as he fills the glass in front of him makes you think he's fishing for a legitimate answer. 

“Oh, uh… I'll tell you here soon,” You say instead. 

If you were being honest, you didn't want to reveal your new curse problem to Rui just yet. In the event that you decide you're going to touch him, it's better he didn't know. The Obscuary vice-captain was far too perceptive of your thought process sometimes for his own good.

Rui's smile falters for a moment at your dismissive reply. “Yeah… Sure, no problem.” He sets the cocktail shaker to the side and passes the drink your way. The liquid inside the martini glass is purple, with a viola flower accenting the rim of the cup. 

You beam at him. “For me?”

Rui smiles half-heartedly back, rather than replying verbally. You watch the pretty blond move around the countertop. “I better get down to the basement and prep for customers before we actually open.”

You turn towards him. “I can help you.”

“No, that's okay! Rest your pretty little head,” Rui counters hastily. 

You open your mouth to protest, but the Obscuary vice-captain is already making his way down the hatch in the cellar. “I have new recipes that you wouldn't remember, it would take longer explaining it all.”

This was Rui's move lately. You couldn't quite pinpoint when or why, but something changed between the two of you within the last few weeks. Before, the vice-captain would welcome your company for a task– even if he didn't ask you to do much of anything. Now it seemed like he was avoiding spending too much alone time with you altogether. And Rui is still flirty, but it's not as excessive as it used to be. 

When Rui disappears from your line of sight, with the hatch closing behind him, Edward speaks from his spot at the bar.

“Oh, to be young…” The vampire drawls.

You narrow your eyes in his direction as you wrap your fingers around the martini glass in front of you. “What are you on about, old man?”

“Don't mind me, my dear. I'm simply enjoying the show,” Edward assures as he rests his cheek against his palm, sporting a languid smile. 

“The gigolo seems kinda down in the dumps lately,” Lyca comments, looking up from the open book on the counter in front of him. “Been sighing a lot. This book says it could be ‘cause he's anx-teeous.”

Suppressing a smile, you walk over to Lyca and peer over his shoulder at the text in front of him. By the looks of it, the werewolf was reading a psychology book. 

“It's pronounced more like ‘ang-shuhs’. The ‘t’ is meant to be silent,” You explain. “And that is a possibility. Has anything bad happened recently to warrant that?”

“Erm…” Lyca flits his gaze to the text in front of him, seemingly in a state of concentration. “Don't think so.”

“Perhaps our sweet Rui is feeling a little lovelorn…?” Edward suggests, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Lovelorn?” You echo, eyeing him skeptically. 

Ed nods. “For someone that is untouchable, it must be rather difficult to have such a pretty young student consistently present. A student with such a tender heart to boot.”

You take a sip of the drink in your hand. It tastes floral, sweet, and a bit citrusy. And as usual, it's delicious. Your eyes meet Ed's ruby ones, belatedly acknowledging his babbling. “And just who are you referring to?”

“I don't know any other pretty young students that are brave enough to trek through Obscuary's forest all by themselves,” Edward counters, amusement lacing his voice.

You scoff at the implication. “What, you're saying he's getting all soft on me? You know, it's not nice to spread information without finding out the validity first.”

“Not to worry. This conversation won't leave the room, my dear. Anywho, why don't you take a seat by me? Your scent is particularly fetching today.” The vampire pats the stool next to him encouragingly.

Lyca growls at that, grabbing your wrist. “Don't listen to that moth-eaten Casanova. Sit right here.”

You snicker, plopping down in the seat to the left of Lyca. Your eyes shift to the side to check on Haru a few seats away. The Jabberwock captain is resting his head in his arms snoozing peacefully against the countertop. 

“Good for him. He needs a break.” You take another sip from the glass in your hand. Warmth begins to buzz in your stomach from the anomalous plant cocktail. You tilt your head to the book in front of Lyca. “Are you studying for school?”

Lyca nods as he flips a page. “Uh huh. But I'm reading ahead of the course.”

Your lips curl into a smile as you watch him. “That interesting?” 

“It's helping me get why some people don't like talking to me much…So it bothers me less now,” Lyca explains slowly.

You frown at that. “They're just assholes, Lyca. You always have me and Ed here. Rui and Suba, too!” From the corner of your eye, you catch Ed smiling in approval at your assertion. 

Lyca shakes his head. “It's not just that. Says here sometimes people are closed off ‘cause of the ‘unknown’. I get that, I think. I wasn't so nice when I first met you too, (Y/N). ‘Cause the only nice person I met here was Suba. Being ‘vul-ner-aable’ when you don't know what will happen. It's scary, right?”

You involuntarily pucker your bottom lip out and stare at Lyca in adoration. “Yes… you're right Lyca. That's a very mature way to think about it! Can I squish you?”

Lyca's looks to you in confusion. “Squish?”

You lean forward and throw your arms around him anyway, pressing your cheek against the top of his head. “SOOO, CUUUUTE!”

“H-Hey…!” Lyca goes stiff at the contact as he flushes in embarrassment. “W-What's that got to do with what I said?”

“Tons and tons!” You nuzzle Lyca's head vigorously a few times before pulling away and sitting back down. 

Lyca tents his eyebrows and smooths down his now ruffled hair. “You don't make any sense…”

“Sorry, Lyca, had to. My hands were tied.” You grin wide as you hold your palms up.

“...Intriguing. When did that mark on your wrist get there?” Edward interjects as he sits forward slightly to get a better look from Lyca's right side. 

Oops, caught earlier than you had anticipated. 

Should you just tell him? Judging by that knowing look on his face, you'd guess the Obscuary Captain already has an idea of the symbol. And its Ed. Ed somehow knows everything. 

You decide to give in and explain everything while Rui is out of the room.

As your retelling of the mission's events comes to a close, you add the most recent bit of information. “Towa is supposed to ask the golem about breaking the curse, too.”

“Break it? Now why on earth would you want to do that?” Ed asks, regarding you with awe. 

“Uhm… ‘cause I'm technically more at risk if I'm not careful? Is it a bad idea?”

“Yes. It is,” Edward insists. “In fact, that blessing may just extend the time in which your curse from Kyklos takes over.”

“What, you mean it might take longer to turn into an anomaly? Didn't you say my curse is like… extra malignant, though?” You press, your expression puzzled.

“There are minor setbacks, but a sacred blessing is nothing to bat an eye at. Until you know that you can break your previous curse, you should not attempt to remove the new one,” The vampire says with conviction. “Be sure you're always at ground level when you're at your most vulnerable. Perhaps even opt to sleep in a traditional futon for the time being.”

Well, that's an unexpected development. But if what Ed is saying is true, this really is a sort of blessing. There is only one other unanswered question that has been eating at you. 

“Um… do you think touching Rui would still kill me?”

The question seems to thoroughly amuse Ed, because he fans his fingertips over his lips like he's trying to hide it. “Oh…? You're interested in touching Rui?”

Lyca speaks up for the first time since you've begun your explanation. The werewolf's face appears startled from the suggestion. “Touching the gigolo? That's dangerous, you can't!”

“Well… only if Ed thinks it might not kill me,” You admit sheepishly.

“Might…?!” Lyca bites out, his voice raising marginally.

“Touching Rui very well may not kill you. Though, there is the possibility of severe injury on the off chance it does not work. Might I suggest touching him with just your fingers first?” Ed offers, his tone lackadaisical. 

Lyca nearly stands in alarm. “What?! No! She just said it will be way more difficult for her to heal! That could kill her!”

You press your lips into a thin line as you deliberate the idea. “Yuri also seemed interested in seeing the results if I decide to do it. I would feel kinda bad for Rui if anything happened, though. He'd probably feel guilty even if it's my fault…”

Edward laughs airly. “Humans truly have such an endearing way of thinking. Regardless of how Rui may feel, the choice is yours. If you feel it's worth the risk, it would be selfish of me to discourage you.” 

Lyca grits his teeth, narrowing his gold eyes at the vampire. “Old man…”

“In the event that this endeavor is successful, I have a feeling Rui will be thrilled in time,” Ed adds. 

“Right…” You digest the information, considering your options. “Thanks, Ed. You're kinda insightful sometimes.”

Edwards lips curl into a coy smile. “I know nothing, my dear. When you've lived as long as I have… I can only offer a unique perspective.”

Suddenly, the hatch from the cellar flies open, effectively ceasing further conversation between the two of you. A head of blond hair emerges, and then Rui's pretty face.

“Everything's prepped!” Rui lifts himself fully out of the cellar and closes the door behind him. He’s cradling a basket filled with herbs and bottles. “Lyca, if you would be a doll and run the bar for a little bit? I wanna get started on dinner before it gets too busy. We may get some customers in a few minutes. More specifically Romi.”

Lyca huffs with downturned lips, seemingly ready to protest. But after a few beats, his expression relaxes. “...Fine.”

Rui grins appreciatively and sets the basket on the countertop several feet away from you before turning heel. “Thanks a million! I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me!” 

Before you can even think of saying anything, the vice-captain is already on his way out. You sigh and decide to give him a bit of space before checking on him. 

Lyca stands up and makes his way around the counter. The Obscuary student pulls a notepad from a drawer that's just out of sight. “Guess I'll reread recipes,” He grumbles.

After about twenty minutes of chatting idly with the three of them, Romeo makes an appearance. When you catch him in the corner of your eye, you lift your head to greet him. “Oh, it's Romeo! Hey!”

“It's you, BB. Why am I not surprised? Come to live here now?”

You open your mouth to reply. 

“Nevermind, don't answer that– I don't care.” The vice-captain comes up behind Haru and immediately smacks him on the shoulder a few times, effectively disturbing the slumbering captain.

“Hnn…?” Haru lifts his head from the counter to look at Romeo, with remnants of drool on his face. The poor guy looks entirely disoriented. 

“Wake up! You are not falling asleep now that I am here,” Romeo tilts his head in Lyca's direction, and slides a couple of bills towards him from across the countertop. “Two Vieux Carre.”

The Obscuary student wordlessly pockets the yen before getting work. It takes several minutes, but Lyca eventually slides two filled rocks glasses Romeo's way. 

The Sinostra vice-captain flits his gaze to the drinks. Almost immediately, he scoffs. “This is not what I asked for. These are Old-Fashioned cocktails!”

Lyca lifts an eyebrow and glances down at the notepad in front of him, turning a few pages. His eyes scan the scribbles in front of him, and a moment later he speaks. “Hrm… sorry. I'll make it again.” 

“Don't worry about it Lyca! These look great,” You reassure him as you stand and take the glasses. “I'll just bring one to Rui, and I'll take one. I'll put it on a tab and give you a tip at the end of the night!”

Lyca smiles a bit as he begins preparing the drinks Romeo ordered. “You don't have to.”

“I insist! Be back soon!” With that, you head to the kitchen to finally get some alone time with the Obscuary vice-captain. 

When you walk into the kitchen, you find Rui leaning against a large wooden island in the center of the room. There are a variety of ingredients laid out on the flat surface and he seems to be preoccupied with reading a sheet of paper laying in front of him. You can't help but notice the apron wrapped around his waist. He totally looks cute as hell. 

It isn't until you set the glasses down across from him that he looks up, appearing a little startled. 

“O-Oh, (Y/N)!” The blonde chuckles nervously, as he rakes his bare fingers through his hair. His eyes land on the drinks. “Whatchya got there?”

“Lyca accidentally made Romeo the wrong cocktails. So, I told him I'd take one of them for you. And one for me.” You lean against the other side of the island, subconsciously mirroring his posture.

“Ah… an Old-Fashioned? Those are pretty strong. And I'm about to start cutting stuff. Alcohol and knives don't really mix for me, ya know!” Rui explains clumsily. Based on the rigid expression on his face, you have a feeling like he's not really saying all that he needs to. 

“Oh? I'll handle the cutting then. I actually have been getting some practice in recently!” It was true. After finding out about the new curse, you went home and practiced cutting vegetables super fast when you were bored one evening. 

Rui looks like he wants to argue further, but he's likely running out of things to say without revealing a little more than he's comfortable with. Cautiously, he reaches for one of the glasses and pulls it closer to him. The vice-captain smiles at you. 

It's so pretty it's almost blinding.

“Thanks for thinking of me, Cutie! You really know how to make a guy's heart melt.”

“I'm glad to help. I like doing things for you, you know,” You admit easily as you roll up the sleeves of your shirt in preparation to assist. 

The comment seems to catch him mildly off guard by the way his expression falters, almost imperceptibly. Distracting himself, Rui reaches for the skewered cherries on top of the rim. He brings the steel pick to his lips and pulls the fruit into his mouth with his teeth. The reaper chews a few times before swallowing. 

“That's good news for me then, huh? I don't want you to sully those pretty hands for my sake, but if that's what will keep me company for the evening… I guess I can't just pass that up,” Rui flirts with his signature wink. 

You snicker at his lame recovery. Tucking your hair behind your ears, you approach the sink and begin washing your hands thoroughly. “My hands will be just fine. I'll impress you with my sick knife skills.”

“And I'll enjoy the show,” Rui teases.

Once you come back to the island, the Obscuary vice-captain sets out a board in front of you. Apparently, Rui had been in the process of making a hearty beef and cabbage stew. You slice the stem off of the napa cabbage with the knife provided to you and then move to the sink to rinse the vegetable off thoroughly. By the time you make your way back to the island, you spot some… unique looking ingredients in front of you. Rice, white wine, soy sauce, sugar, cornstarch, sour pickles, jalapenos, and bean sprouts?

You must have looked bewildered because Rui laughs. It sounds like a string of harmonies reverberating against your ear drums. 

“Looks weird, right? There's actually supposed to be onions and garlic, but Yuri said it's not good for Lyca. I promise, it's delish! This is one of those ‘trust the process’ type deals!” The vice-captain insists. 

You smirk and begin cutting the cabbage leaves into more reasonable chunks as you prepare to julienne them. “I've had your cooking before, so I believe you. Has Lyca tried this, yet?”

“Nooope. He will like it no matter what though, since there's beef!” Rui finally lifts his cocktail to his lips and takes a small sip. “Hmm… this is well mixed. Lyca really is doing a good job. A liiittle on the strong side.”

“Too strong?” You ask, glancing up to look at him. His captivating eyes lock with yours for a moment before you divert your attention back to the board. 

“Enough to not want to drink it fast,” Rui replies. 

“Hmm… maybe we can play a little drinking game then,” You suggest.

“Drinking game? Couldn't that like, do the opposite though?” Rui counters skeptically.

You hum. “Not if you're better at asking burning questions.”

“Questions? Is this one of those college party games? Gotta say, you don't strike me as the type to attend those, Cutie.” 

You shake your head. “Puh-lease. It's a juvenile game as old as time. I played it without the drinking as a kid.”

“The suspense is killing me! Let's hear it,” Rui quips playfully. 

“Never have I ever,” You announce as you begin stacking squares of cabbage somewhat evenly on the board.

“Oh, I've definitely heard of that. Remind me of the rules?” 

“Simple. I ask a question by adding it to the end of ‘Never have I ever’. If it’s something you've done, you drink. If it's not, I have to drink. Vice versa. Any objections?” You ask.

“That seems like it'd be a cute first date idea. Any boundaries with the questions?” Rui asks, resting his cheek against his knuckles as he looks back at you. 

“No. You're free to know anything you want about me! But if I cross a line, let me know.” 

Rui's posture stiffens and he shifts his gaze absently to the glass in his hand. “Haha, that seems totally unfair, doesn't it…? I'll answer as best as I can.”

You begin thinly slicing the cabbage, drawing your eyes back to the board. “You start.” 

Rui lets out a low whistle. “Me first? That's a lot of pressure. Hold on… let me think about it.”

The sound of the back of the knife in your hand rapidly thudding against the wooden board becomes the only noise in the room for a good fifteen seconds. 

“Never have I ever…cheated on a final exam?” Rui asks, his tone indecisive.

The anticlimactic question evokes a giggle out of you. You deliberate for a moment but end up not sipping your drink. “Sorry, but you should have specified. I've probably cheated on a regular test, but finals are much harder to do that with.”

“Daaang,” Rui clicks his tongue, playing up a disappointed expression as he takes a drink. “I'll do better next round.”

You think for a moment before deciding the next question and glancing up. “...Never have I ever… learned to swim?”

“You did that on purpose,” He accuses, puckering his soft pink bottom lip before taking a sip. “Can't most people swim? Plus, haven't I mentioned I used to surf?”

“Mmm… Must have totally slipped my mind,” You say nonchalantly. It didn't. “Go on. Your turn again.”

“Never have I ever been to Tokyo?” Rui wears an impish smirk as the words leave his mouth. 

You snort, rolling your eyes. “We are in Tokyo, basically.”

“No, this is Darkwick! We totally have our own area code and everything. Who knows? You could have been shipped here from France or something!” Rui counters, feigning innocence. 

Rui definitely knew that much about you. You stick your tongue at him childishly and pause your knife work. Reaching forward you pick up your glass and take your first sip. You were pleasantly surprised by the flavor of the drink. Rui was right. For a strong cocktail it was pretty well mixed. 

“I'll have to give Lyca praise later. Anyway, next question…” 

The two of you ask several more rounds of impersonal and benign questions as you continue to work. You're not sure if it's just the alcohol or a product of being in good company, but you begin to feel warm all over. It had been a while since you’ve had an exclusive in-person conversation with Rui. And right now, the cadence of his voice, and his charming witticism seems to have an amplified effect on you. Every time you lock eyes when one of you takes a drink, you swear you feel your heart skip a bit.

When you're on your last bunch of cabbage and your glasses are almost evenly a quarter of the way filled, the vice-captain asks something else.

“Never have I ever gone on a date with a Darkwick student that isn't Rui.”

When your head snaps up in surprise the vice-captain just watches you expectantly, cheeks flushed and a self-assured smirk. 

“Nosey, aren't we?” You retort. 

“Isn't that the nature of the game? Being nosey? It's about time I ask something juicy,” Rui quips back. 

Taking an opportunity to mess with him and gauge his reaction, you lift the alcoholic beverage to your lips.

Rui sits up marginally as if he's taken aback. You watch his pretty pink lips part and his eyebrows tent with worry. 

It almost makes you feel bad.

You set the glass down, not actually taking a sip. “What's that look for, you jelly?”

“Obviously!” Rui admits without hesitation. He forces a smile anyway. “C'mon, you know you have me wrapped around your finger, Cutie.”

You do?

You swear you feel your heart in your throat as he throws the comment at you. 

Rui narrows his eyes sharply. “Who's the lucky fella?”

A lopsided grin forms on your features. “...I didn't actually take a drink. That's all you.”

The Obscuary vice-captain’s expression turns meek. A look of relief quickly follows, and he sighs. “You so tricked me! I didn't think you could be so cruel.”

“Go on, drink,” You urge, your grin now bordering on sadistic. 

Rui complies, taking a sip. “Guess this is better than the alternative. I thought for sure you and Haru had something going on for a second.”

The alcohol must be causing the blonde man in front of you to be a little loose lipped with his words. Sure, Rui's joked about being jealous before, but specifying in this instance felt a bit different. 

You tilt your head curiously. “Haru? Of course not. He's just my friend.”

Rui averts his gaze as he sets his glass down. The direct reply to his worry seems to embarrass him because his cheeks redden past the point where booze could be used as an excuse. “...Ignore me. That was out of line.”

You wave your hands placatingly at his unexpected behavior. “Hey, no! It's definitely not. I think it's cute you're worried about that.”

Rui doesn't return his gaze to you for the moment. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something else, but closes it again like he just changed his mind. A nervous chuckle slips past his lips a moment later. “...Okay, next question. If you stare at me like that any longer I might think you've finally fallen for me.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine, fine. Let's see…” 

Maybe this time you'll ask something more personal? For your own self-indulgence and to make him feel better about his own shyness. It's basically a win-win, you have to do it. Right?

You draw your gaze back to the board and curl your knuckles over a stack of cabbage, resuming your slicing as you deliver the next prompt. “Never have I ever kissed anyone.”

The room becomes silent once more, aside from the ambience of your task at hand. 

You almost glance back up when you don't see him reach for his drink, but then he speaks up.

“I don't kiss and tell you know! Plus, you really wanna know that? I wouldn't want to make you jealous too, Cutie.”

“Why? Is it like a ton of people? Maybe I'd be a bit jealous then,” You counter teasingly.

“...Wait, seriously? That was a joke!” 

You glance back up with a deadpan look on your face as you toss more cut cabbage into a steel bowl next to you. 

The vice-captain now appears mildly panicked. “Look, it wasn't like a lot! Honest! And it was forever ago, no need to be jealous, seriously!”

Thoroughly enjoying his reaction, you pretend to be annoyed and hum suspiciously. “I dunno, I've witnessed you being a little flirty with girls coming onto you before…” Pausing for dramatic effect, you sigh. “I bet you even call them ‘Cutie’ too. Is that why you stopped inviting me to your room? You got a new Cutie to fawn over?”

“So NOT true!” Rui exclaims, his expression shifting into a horrified one. “Look, if you've ever caught me saying anything remotely like that to anyone before, I swear I haven't done it in like– ages! I can't do that. Not anymore.”

Not being able to keep up the act anymore, a smile splits your features. “Oh? What changed?”

Rui stares back at you, the question leaving him completely despondent. He shakes his head guardedly, picking up his glass and downing the rest of his drink.

Your lips downturn as you realize you may have gone too far with your teasing. “Sorry, too far?”

Rui clears his throat as he sets his glass down, his gaze softening as he regards you. “No, it's not that.” He laughs a little in spite of himself. “You're the last person I want to be a witness to how pitiful I can really be. And the truth is, I can't answer that question.”

You try not to look expectant. As much as you want to know, it would be selfish to pry any farther.

“Maybe in another life,” Rui hesitates as he picks up the steel skewer that once held cherries, twirling it idly between his fingertips. “I wish I could meet you again as a regular guy. I doubt you would give me the time of day, though. You're too good for me.”

You're left breathless at his confession. 

Your hairs stand on end as you drop the knife in your hands. Just when you're dead set on making your way to his side of the island, a voice sounds from your right.

“Hello, Rui. I came here to collect some herbs for potions at the medical facility. Have I come at a bad time?”

You look over to find Jiro who noiselessly slipped into the room. He nods stiffly in your direction while holding his phone in his hand. 

“Oh, nope!” Rui separates himself from the counter. “I can go grab those for you. Is it the same list you sent last time via text?”

Jiro nods. “Yes, that would be greatly appreciated.”

“No problemo! Give me a few!” With that, the Obscuary vice-captain makes a hasty retreat.

Jiro approaches the island slowly as he stares at you. “...You decide if you're gonna do it?”

“I am,” You say definitively. “Wish me luck, hahaha. If I die, text my boss from my old job in the real world ‘Your Momma’s a hoe’, okay?”

“‘Your Momma's a hoe’,” Jiro repeats impassively. “...Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you, you're the best!”

By the time Rui comes back with bundled herbs, you finish cutting what's needed for the stew. You watch the Obscuary vice-captain set the clear package on the island in front of Jiro. 

“Here ya go! I put a little extra in there to save you some running around. Go wild!” Rui exclaims exuberantly. 

“Thank you. This will be very useful,” Jiro responds as he picks up the package.

You move around the island to Rui's side nonchalantly with the steel bowl of cut vegetables in your hand. While the vice-captain is distracted, you set it next to the stovetop. 

“I have a few hybrid plants in budding stages that will probably interest you guys. I'll let you know when they're ready.” Rui peels off his gardening gloves and stuffs them in his pocket as he talks. He must have put them on in the cellar and is likely planning to wash his hands again.

Now is as good a time as any, right?

You creep forward a bit closer, your eyes locked on his naked right hand hanging loosely at his side for the moment.

“Really? Are they a blend of any of these?” Jiro asks. 

Holding your breath you mentally apologize to Rui in advance. If your impulsivities result in disaster, you hope he will blame you. You outstretch your arm, fingertips just centimeters away.

“Yeah, actually! Here let me show you a photo…”

Shit! 

“YOLO,” You whisper under your breath.

Just as Rui's hand reaches for his pocket and he starts to turn around, you shut your eyes tight and wrap your fingers around his.

The room goes dead silent. Your hand is warm. You're not dead are you?

“What, did it work? Move your camera closer, I can't see!” 

The sound of Yuri's voice causes you to snap your eyes open. Your eyes instantly meet Rui's. He understandably looks completely horrified as he gawks at your linked hands.

“(Y/N)... What did you do?” Rui manages, his voice uncharacteristically fragile. 

Feeling the aftereffects of an adrenaline rush, you take it a step farther and bring his hand to your lips, placing a kiss on the back of it. You smirk at him, bathing in a sense of victory. “Um, the Gods just think we would be mega cute together, duh!”

Heat crawls up Rui's neck as he stands there, jaw slack and at a loss for words.

“AAAGH! W-WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT WHEN I AM ON VIDEO CALL…?!” Yuri screeches.

You lower Rui's hand and turn your gaze to Jiro holding up his phone. 

“You told me not to let them know you're here. That would probably be part of it,” Jiro replies monotonously.

“IRRELEVANT! W-WHO DOES THAT WITH COMPANY PRESENT?!” Yuri yells back indignantly. 

Jiro scratches his head, staring at the screen in front of him. “(Y/N) does…?” 

Yuri huffs on the other end. After a brief pause his voice comes, far less elevated this time. “Obviously, that was rhetorical! Tch…! A-Anyway… Honor Student, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” You reply back. 

“Good! I would like to run some tests, so go with Jiro back to Mortkranken, if you know what's good for you!”

“But I was helping Rui with cooking,” You protest.

“It's fine, you should go,” Rui interjects a little too quickly, his voice cracking. 

You look at him, puckering your lips into a pout. “Huh? But…”

Rui turns his head towards Jiro. “If you could wait at the bar I'll send her to follow you out. I want to talk with her for a sec… alone.”

Jiro nods. “Okay, then it's settled. Ending the call now.”

It sounds as if Yuri is about to protest, but the Mortkranken vice-captain abruptly hangs up on him. Jiro bows slightly. “I'll be seeing you momentarily, (Y/N). Thank you again for the herbs, Rui. Text me those photos of the hybrids when you have a chance.”

“Yup, yup! No problem,” Rui replies.

You watch Jiro exit the room before diverting your attention back to Rui. He is staring at your still linked hands. You hadn't noticed it until now, but he appears to be trembling a bit. The urge to wrap your arms around him overwhelms you, but you wait.

“Do you want me to let go?” You ask carefully.

“This feels different,” Rui murmurs with an unreadable expression as he rubs his thumb soothingly over the back of your hand. “Something is protecting your energy. I can’t drain it. What changed?”

You explain the situation and the details of the curse, not leaving out any information. It's obvious by the way his expression hardens when you explain the negative aspects that he's not completely on board with this.

“(Y/N)... this isn't a solution.” Rui breaks away from your touch, settling himself against the side of the island.

“Huh? Well, I mean… It kind of is,” You argue. “As long as I'm careful…!”

The vice-captain creases his brow, giving you the most stern look you've probably ever seen him wear. “One wrong move and this could totally go south. What if I was standing on the second floor and you just forget? Or what if I do?”

“Then, we just… don't?” You suggest lamely. “Trust me, I wouldn't want you to deal with that if something bad happened, so I'll do my best.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Rui's tone comes out exasperated. “Why the hell is that your first thought? This isn't something inconsequential– it's your life on the line!” 

“You don't think I don't know that?” You keep your tone steady as you attempt to explain your case. “I touched you because I was willing to take that risk.”

“That's what's worse! You could have died just a few minutes ago, you weren't even sure!”

You shift your eyes to the side. “Well… Ed was pretty sure.”

“Pretty sure isn't sure, (Y/N)!” Rui snaps, his voice elevated.

Any reply you may have catches in your throat. You don't have an excuse for yourself. This was a possible outcome, you knew it, but actually seeing Rui angry and raising his voice over this left you with mixed emotions. Maybe this was a little selfish on your part. Should you have asked?

But if you did, Rui would have never allowed you to touch him. You're certain of that much.

You're not sure the kind of expression you were making, but the vice-captain appears contrite in a matter of seconds. 

“Sorry… I didn't mean to yell,” Rui flits his gaze to the floor. “Look, you should go for now, okay? We can talk about this later. Once I've had time to think.”

“...Yeah, I'll do that.” You give Rui a brief once over before walking towards the door. Just before you're about to exit, you turn your head one last time. The vice-captain still has his eyes trained on the floor in front of him.

“Your hands are really soft. And you smell nice up close,” You remark, your lips curling into a smile.

Rui glances towards you. His eyes widen in surprise as he's seemingly taken off guard by the comment. 

“Okay that's all, bye-bye!” 

With that you bolt out the door, feeling a little bit giddier about the whole thing.

–

A couple days have passed since you touched Rui. The two of you hadn't seen each other since, but you had exchanged a few brief texts in greeting. Nothing of substance considering you still had a lot to talk about. In due time, you told yourself.

Currently, you were crouched down in a plot of soil with a basket in your hands, harvesting some crops. You planted them a little over a month ago in Jabberwock after Towa had taught you a thing or two about caring for plants, and Haru gave you the tools necessary to do so. The Jabberwock Captain's expertise is mainly in caring for the anomalies, but he had the resources to make it happen. 

Since you helped Haru out pretty frequently with daily chores, he had been more than willing to let you borrow an extra piece of fenced in land. You made sure to pick a fast growing and low maintenance crop that would be useful for cooking. Did you cook? Not really often– your equipment had been pretty limited at the cathedral.

Secretly, you had planned to give these to Rui at some point. 

Hopefully he liked baby beets. And hopefully he wasn't still mad at you in the upcoming weeks. Coincidentally, you selected a crop with a long shelf life too. 

You continued to grip the leafy parts of the vegetables as you shimmied the ripe crops from the ground and tossed them in a basket as you went. The sun was already beginning to set, but you wanted to swing by here despite the long day you had. You had just gotten back from a mission. It wasn't particularly labor intensive, but you hadn't gotten the best sleep the last few days. 

You're so absorbed in the task at hand that when you hear a random thudding sound against wood, you nearly tip over from your crouched position. Flicking your gaze to where you thought you heard the source, you find nothing. Just the wooden fence post standing in a patch of grass, nothing out of the ordinary.

Must have been a rabbit, or something.

You were super invincible now anyhow, right? So, basically you could take on anything in this grassland that tried to pull up on you. If anything they should be scared of you! Yeah…

Swallowing your trepidation, you continue working and harvest each crop in linear order– just to make sure you don't miss any. It isn't long before your basket is overflowing with vegetables. When you pluck your last baby beet from the dirt, you breathe out a sigh of relief as you throw it on top.

“Finally,” You mutter to yourself as you stand upright. Your back brushes against something when you do. At first you assume you had gotten closer to the fence than you had previously thought, but that theory is debunked almost immediately when you hear an all too familiar voice behind you.

“Shit…!” 

You hear something thud to the ground. Flipping around, you find an all too familiar blond pretty boy lying flat on his back in the grass, with his bladed artifact lying next to him. 

“Wow… creeper alert,” You deadpan as you look down at Rui, suppressing a spiel of laughter. 

Rui props himself up on his elbows and smiles, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I totally resent that, y'know. Creeper is a strong word.”

“If you wanted to hang out, you could have asked,” You comment, regarding him with an amused expression. 

“Ah…” Rui sits up fully, running his gloved fingers through his sunny tresses. “I actually was on my way to do something else.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “What, in Jabberwock?”

Rui laughs nervously, averting his gaze to somewhere on the grass in front of him. “Ah… not exactly?”

You set the basket down next to you and lean on the wooden fence separating the two of you. “So, how long have you been following me?”

“I plead the fifth? Article thirty-eight for Japan? At least until I explain my case better,” Rui says, appearing guilty.

“Alright, you better. Or else I'll start to think you're in love with me,” You tease.

“Well, you wouldn't be completely off base,” Rui counters flirtatiously. 

A sense of relief floods over you as you witness his more characteristic behavior. You just smile expectantly in return. 

“So… I was trying to get some intel that is unrelated to you, but I noticed you heading here kind of late. And I was worried so I had a change of plans,” Rui pauses, tenting his eyebrows in concern. “When were you planning on going home, by the way?”

“Soon,” You reply. “When were you planning on revealing yourself?”

“...That wasn't part of the plan,” Rui reluctantly admits, his cheeks flushing pink. “Look, I was just worried– honest. No need to get a restraining order, haha!”

You snort at the idea. “As if. I was waiting for you to come around. You seemed pretty pissed at me the other day. And besides, I need less protection than ever now.”

“Invincibility doesn't stop weirdos from following you around,” Rui argues. “And what if a giant bear anomaly picked you up and then tried to eat you? You'd be toast!”

“There aren't any aggressive anomalies like that in the area. I'm totally safe in that regard.” You smile appreciatively at him. “It's cute that you're looking after me, though. You're the only stalker I'd actively welcome to keep tabs on me.”

Rui stares at you incredulously for a few beats. “I'm not…!” The vice-captain huffs, shaking his head as he dusts himself off and gets to his feet. “You know what? It's fine. Personal stalker at your service, Cutie!”

A giggle spills from you. “Alright, does that mean I can give you orders?”

“Ahaha… orders?” Rui echoes. “I guess if I were to take orders from anyone, it would be you.”

“Spend some time with me?” You ask softly, rather than demand. 

Rui smiles. “Since I'm already here, we might as well.”

The two of you end up sitting relatively close in a plot of grass outside the fence, the sky is now dark enough that it could be considered nautical twilight. Fireflies were even beginning to make an appearance. 

You set your basket close by and flop backwards, opting to lay down flat. “I'm glad I came out here. Today has been productive.”

“Yeah?” Rui copies your actions, lying parallel to you about six feet away. “I didn't realize you were into crops. Should I be offended that you didn't tell me?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” You admit with a sigh. “I should have known I can't keep anything from you.”

Rui tilts his head towards you, his eyes widen marginally. “What, a surprise for me?”

“Yeah. Well, I hope you like beets. They have a bunch of antioxidants and shit, right?” You ask, flitting your gaze to meet his. 

“Pffft. Yeah, a bunch of antioxidants and shit,” Rui repeats, his eyes crinkling with mirth. “...Thanks a lot, seriously. I'll use them, for sure. And for the record, I do like beets.”

“I guess my hard work paid off, then. Good to know.”

A moment of comfortable silence falls between the two of you. The distant sound of crickets hum in the distance. 

“...Ed mentioned that it wouldn't be good to break your curse, right now. Are you not going to?” Rui suddenly asks.

You idly comb your fingers through the grass. “No, I already talked to Towa and Darkwick staff. Until I can break the curse from Kyklos, this one's here to stay.”

“If it can prevent the transformation… it really is a blessing,” Rui acknowledges earnestly.

“And if it means I can touch you without dying,” You add, smirking as you stare at the sky. 

“...Not without risk,” Rui counters, quieter than before.

“Some risks are worth taking in my book.”

Rui doesn't reply to that.

“...But I don't want to do anything you don't want to do,” You say coolly. “So I won't touch you again without your permission.”

“It's definitely not that I don't want to. I'm just scared shitless of something happening to you,” Rui admits, his voice raspy. “I seriously don't know what I'd do.”

You flip on your side to face him, propping your head in your hand. His golden locks are splayed out around him messily as he stares at the sky. The vulnerable expression on his pretty features makes your heart ache.

“If our roles were reversed, would you touch me?” You ask. “If I had the reaper curse and you had the Antaeus curse?”

Rui creases his brow as he deliberates the prompt. “Honestly…? If I thought you had feelings for me, yeah.”

“So we are in the same boat. Hypocrite,” You accuse playfully. 

Rui flicks his gaze towards you, eyeing you dubiously.

“I love you, you know,” You confess.

Rui's cheeks flush pink at the sudden admission. He brings a forearm over his head, partially shielding his face from you. “Hah… Of all the people here. You seriously have bad taste. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“I feel like I've made it embarrassingly obvious… but the feeling is mutual. I've never met anyone quite like you, (Y/N).”

Your heart hammers in your chest as he admits to returning your feelings. 

Rui continues. “If you ever change your mind, feel free to leave me in the dust. The reaper curse shouldn't be anyone's burden to deal with, but mine. You of all people deserve to be happy.”

“I won't change my mind,” You say with conviction. “If I die trying to give you a smooch, I'd say that's a pretty good way to go.”

An airy laugh spills from Rui. “You're seriously cracked for that.”

You smirk. “Says the one who admitted they would do the same.”

“If you really want to, I won't stop you. But if anything happens, I will haunt you in the afterlife,” Rui jokes morbidly. “So seriously… don't do anything you're not sure is safe. Please.”

That was more than enough of an invitation for you.

You sit up and move right beside Rui. You support yourself with your palm planted in the grass by the left side of his head as you hover over him.

The vice-captain stares up at you, anxiety etched on his beautiful features. 

Reaching your free hand forward, you experimentally touch his face. Rui nearly jumps at the contact, but immediately relaxes when he sees that you remain unaffected. You lightly stroke the flawless skin on his cheeks, then you brush your thumb over his pink parted lips. A gasp escapes Rui when you run your fingers through his bangs. 

Never did you think you'd have the privilege of touching him. 

“You're so pretty.” The words leave your mouth before you can even think about saying them. 

Rui's cheeks heat up as he struggles to hold your gaze. “C'mon, that's my line. You don't have to sweet talk me to get my consent, Cutie.”

Your eyes flutter shut as you lower your face and seal your lips with his. 

Rui responds to your kiss eagerly, his hand immediately finding your waist when you settle more comfortably over him. You can feel his rapid heartbeat as you melt into him, tangling your fingers through his silky soft hair. For a moment, you separate your lips, and the intoxicating scent of his aromatic cologne tangled with skin fills your lungs. 

As if protesting the distance, Rui sits forward, supporting himself with his elbow as he cups his free around your face and brings you in again. Your lips meld together over and over in a subconscious search for a rhythm. But there is none. Touch starved and desperate, the way the reaper continues to kiss you is nothing short of feverish. 

At some point, Rui pulls away and manages to flip you over on your back. eliciting a squeak out of you. Caging you in, he presents an affectionate smile when you look up at him. 

“I think you like this stresses me out a bit less,” He says. 

“Understandable,” You acquiesce, returning a smile of your own. 

“I'll have to set up a room for us on ground level at Obscuary. Mine is currently on the top floor, sooo.” Rui's smile transitions into a mischievous one.

The implication leaves your ears burning and this time– you laugh nervously. “We gotta sit on the floor, though,” You remind him, though he already knows.

“Sit, lay, hands and knees, whatever you want,” Rui counters, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

At that, you feel all the blood in your body rush to your face. “Y-You…!”

Your reaction must thoroughly entertain the vice-captain, because a laugh bubbles from him. 

“Sorry, sorry! That was dirty. Let's keep going?” Rui tilts his head, his pink eyes searching for your approval. “I'll have to walk you home at this point, anyway. It's already dark.”

You narrow your eyes at him, your voice small as you recover from your embarrassment. “Do you even have to ask that?” 

Rui's lips pull into a delighted grin. “Consent is totally sexy though, right?”

You spent a long time with Rui under the stars that night. 

You lift your hands to his face and pull him forward, bringing him in for another kiss.

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[gabessquishytum]

Dreams relationship with Hob had a number of positive influences on Dream, Some of them expected, others- not so much. And the most unexpected of them all was Dreams improved relationship with Desire.

Now that Dream has someone who loves him for everything he is and does not want hm to restrain any part of himself his understanding of Desire has grown. Their realms had never been closer.

Dream is a little surprised to find how well Desire already knew him, that Desire previous meddling with Dreams love affairs had been genuine attempts on Desires part to help him find a good partner (or more often then not, to keep away the bad ones)

Desire was the first to know how deeply Dream loved and how much he would desire a soulmate.

So when Hob and Dream decide to tie themselves together for all eternity Dream knows exactly who to ask to help him pick out his wedding dress (and of course what he is going to wear underneath it)

I love myself some Good-But-Bratty-Sibling-Desire

This is so sweet, I just love the idea of Dream having greater love and respect for Desire because he just understands them a lot more? And Desire can focus on actually loving and getting to know their big brother properly, now he's in a steady relationship <33

And Dream gets to do a lil wedding dress try on montage while Desire critiques each outfit ("sweet Dream do you HAVE to wear black to your own wedding? You do? Well, if you insist...") and they have champagne together, and it's so much fun! Desire even specifically designs the prettiest gossamer underwear for Dream wear (its special feature is that it will dissolve as soon as Hob touches it, responding only to his touch). And of course Desire has to plan a bachelor party for Dream, with all the other Endless siblings in attendance, and Desire is nice enough not to turn the whole thing into an orgy with all the gods and goddesses of the universe. Instead everyone tells silly stories and there's singing and dancing. Dream has such a lovely time, he hugs Desire tightly and thanks them for making him feel so loved.

And Desire probably responds by tickling him or licking his cheek, but deep down they're so relieved to have their big brother back in their life. They can't wait to see him walk down the aisle - and if Hob ever hurts him, well, Desire already has a 100 different ways to make him pay. Just in case!!

[dduane]

Hello! I am the oldest sibling and let me tell you, I think it’s a raw deal. Bringing this back to YW, it made me wonder what happened to the oldest Rodriquez sibling, Helena? Is she just out there doing her thing and avoiding her family? (I remember she disliked wizardry) TY!

PS Carmela has to be the most middle child ever. ❤️

Well, at the end of A Wizard of Mars, where she last appeared personally in the narrative, Helena has decided that Kit is actually a mutant... and apparently has less trouble approving of what's been going on with him when considering him from that angle. (Though he tries to disabuse her of this idea, has no luck, and gives up in exasperation.)

The Errantry Concordance tells us (at least, in its most recent entry on Helena) that as of AWOM Helena was in her first/freshman year at Amherst; and the revised timeline of the New Millennium Editions pins that statement down to June of 2010. The next Helena-pertinent prose item would be the novella How Lovely Are Thy Branches, which is time-fixed "between early November and late December of 2010"; and all we hear of her there is conversation implying that she's still in college. Where, I assume, we can expect her to remain until 2013, unless for some reason Helena goes post-grad.

In any case, as of spring 2011 (when GWP takes place), there's no mention of Helena in the narrative at all; so we can guess that nothing even marginally interesting (from our viewpoint characters' POV) has been going on with her. With the notable exception of Owl Be Home For Christmas, which takes place in 2020—and where there's also no mention of Helena—that's as far as (Earth-based) series canon so far takes us.

So let's assume that no news is good news, and see if that assessment holds up as the series continues. :) ...Meanwhile, I strongly suspect that Carmela will have been tightly controlling her own contacts with Helena to make sure her sister has no reason to suspect that two members of the family have now gone rogue.

And yeah, I think Carmela is about as Middle Child-ish as anyone would reasonably want to get. Gotta be a tough row to hoe. So maybe it's no surprise that becoming a (vaguely-)illicit cocoa runner seems like a positive outcome while she finds out more of what her own road will look like. :) In any case, she does get a mention in OBHFC, where Kit mentions (with an air of great resignation) that apparently Carmela's somewhere offplanet "'getting one of her cargo ships' engines refitted.'" So plainly, for her at least, at that point everything's business as usual...

HTH!

[i-like-forcefem]

PURELY hypothetically speaking, how EXACTLY would you go about forcefemming a guy who’s sooo masc, like he thinks he’s the ALPHA SHIT, he thinks he pulls all the ladies and is the most manly man to ever man… and turning “him” into an adorable little girly princess :3c asking for a friend

For a hard boiled egg like this it’s very important to get her alone in an isolated location for an extended period of time! It always takes a little longer then they’ve got pride, but honestly that makes it so so much more fun when they crack

It’s a bit of a staple, but I think I’ll use my Basement, yes it’s generic, but it’s tried and true, and a girl like this isn’t a time to experiment

Getting her to the basement is usually easy enough, just invite her over for tea or something and apply a little posion of your choice that will have her immobilised, sleepy pills work, but I personally prefer it when you can see the fear in her eyes when they get fully paralysed

I always have my basement prepared for new arrivals, this means a firm lock, and plenty of hand cuffs around the walls and girly furniture for if I want to move her around

The first time she wakes up is always so important and so so fun, so I’ll pick out a good spot to tie her up, I think the plushy couch would be good for this cutie, and make sure to pick a good outfit

For a girl like this I think it’d be best to start with her in just a pair of pink panties, just being handcuffed in a hugging position with a plushy against her skin should be enough embarrassment for the wake up, I’ll also be sure to use my princess gag just to make her first impressions extra cute as she makes muffled screeches

Then I’ll wait till she wakes up, I usually monitor a camera from outside the room and wait to enter, I want her to get a feel for the room and her situation before she sees me, 2 minutes is usually enough for her to glance around the overly girly room, notice she’s tied up, and to start her muffled screams

Then I’ll calmly enter and tell her how she’s my doll now, she’ll have objections of course, being a big bugle “man”, but it’s pretty hard to do anything about your situation when tied up like that

And then I’ll play it slow

I think I can have her docile by the end of the day, dress her up in her first dress (the basement can get very cold so if she doesn’t want to wear her dress that’s fine by me, but she’ll give in by the end of the second day, and to survive that long I’ll probably get some adorable footage of her willingly snuggling up with her many many plushies, hard to think a “man” would do that)

Any food I give her will obviously have hrt inserted into it, but in this case in particular I want to try something new, next to her (estrogen filled) meals I’ll also give her some placebo pills I’ll tell her are actually hrt, and if she’s a Good Girl and takes her pills she’ll be rewarded

Obviously she’ll refuse at first, willingly taking pills is one of the hardest milestones for a girl to pass

But always giving her the option always gives me to opportunity to punish her, and to tell her just how easy it’d be if she just submitted, became my pretty little girl

Now some of the girls have a surprising amount of determination to not become happy, so this might take a while, which is why I’ll give her her hrt anyway

Since it will be so so fun to tease her for it, I could maybe even gaslight her into thinking she might be taking the pills anyway, or her body wants to become a girl so so bad that’s it’s making estrogen all on its own

You’d be surprised how much gaslighting you can get away with if you’re a persons only outside contact

So… I’ve got some plans to say the least!!! I’ve got a whole laundry list of activities we could try every week to keep it fresh (from shock collars to vibrators to bondage, to “toy” pink weightlifting products that are 10 times the weight it says on the box, I will have so much fun breaking her :3)

Now do you have any idea where this hypothetical person is? And do they prefer tea or coffee?

[misstwisted]

raaaaant time

so, I am very upset over the new Menéndez brothers series that came out. If you’ve seen it, you probably know why. Before I go into this, if you don’t know about this case, the menendez brothers had murdered their mom and dad in 1989 as self defense, fearing of them soon murdering them themselves, after suffering years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by their parents hands.

for context I am a long time supporter of these men. I’ve known about this case since I was around 12 (unsupervised internet access, lmao) and I supported them then and I support them now.

This series is fucking disgusting. And not just because of the atrocious, disrespectful, and weirdly comedic relief portrayals of these traumatized men, no no no, it also of course just had to include sexualization and Incestuous fetishization of them. I was SO EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE watching these scenes. I’m sure it’s all supposed to show how their father had fucked up the brothers relationship and how he blurred the lines for them of what’s appropriate and not appropriate to do with your family, but this crosses a god damn line. It’s possible I’m also giving this dumb fuck director too much credit. Idk if it’s just me, but this feels like a writers barely disguised fetish moment. So many scenes felt like the start of a porno, and at times DID BECOME A PORNO!!!!!

I remember so many times of me yelling out loud in shock “WHAT IS THIS SHOW????”

the dialogue is trash, the pacing is trash, the portrayal is trash, etc. The only part I personally think was great was when they recreated the footage of Lyle and Erik walking into court. When I was watching it I felt they really looked and acted like the brothers at that moment. And the fact it’s surrounded by such garbage is sad. It really felt disconnected from the other episodes and scenes because of how much I enjoyed that little moment. And they weren’t even talking or anything.

There’s only like one word I could use to describe a lot of the scenes, especially the sexualization scenes, which is: unnecessary.

Gotta be honest, I really wanted to like this show! Thought it could bring back attention on this case again. Show empathy towards them. But no, I had to watch two actors portraying real life traumatized brothers kiss each other.

I am seriously wondering now if Ryan Murphy wanted two actors with romantic/sexual chemistry casted on purpose for what seems to be some sort of fantasy of his.

I started this show YESTERDAY, I am halfway through episode 7 right now. I wanted to see if it’d get better, and it just never did. But honestly? It’s my fault. What did I fucking expect from a Netflix series that’s directed by the guy who made GLEE? I’m still mad now, but I can’t even describe how even more upset I was yesterday watching it.

I legit could probably go on for days about how disrespectful this show is, and good on Erik for not being afraid to call it and the directors out.

It’s in vain to say this, because obviously they’ll never see it, but: Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan you two are pieces of utter dogshit. What about any of this was a good idea? You guys deserve to be sued for thinking this was okay. You deserve it for making Dahmer, and you deserve it for making this. I don’t even wanna SAY all the horrible things I think about you guys. All i hope is nobody ever hands you two a god damn camera again. Sincerely go fuck yourselves.

I know I’m being a dramatic little bitch again for the 100th time but this is truly horrendous. This isn’t just a story you can add shit to and get creative with, guys, this is their LIVES. These are real human people with dignities and families that care about them. They’ve been disrespected enough, the fact that they were sentenced to life in general just shows how little people empathized with them.

This audacity of this being made. This very serious story of trauma being turned into this weird comedy show.

what is this RPF, Ryan Murphy? ARE YOU BORED??? How about you go make a actual fucking difference? Cause you know what, Erik and Lyle are, and they’re the ones who’re incarcerated!

that’ll be all.

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

I love the Gravity Falls fandom because, like, you can headcanon any character as trans in any direction with like. Three exceptions.

Uh, headcanons below cut I guess

Dipper? We can make a good case for trans masc and trans femme. I tend towards trans masc because he's a little guy and just like me fr fr, but like, I like her, too, I find her cute in the punt-that-small-child-(affectionate) way.

Stan and Ford? Well, they're identical and I've seen a lot of them both being transmasc which I love and trans femme Stan and Ford actually make me feral. I need to do some things with transfemme Stan and Ford actually, I've seen them floating around and they're so cute and wholesome. Old trans sisters to me.

Side headcanon, Stan and Ford are extremely accepting even if they're cishet. Like Stan to me knew queer people in New York who died in the AIDS crisis. Like he can name people on the AIDS quilt to me and the only reason he wasn't hit by it and didn't die to it is he had to move to Gravity Falls. And Ford has a weird conception of gender that's shockingly progressive because multiverse.

Soos, okay, well, I haven't seen trans Soos around but like. First of all, super neglected character (I say as I do nothing with him). And second of all we are SLEEPING on trans Soos. A couple of the reasons for transfemme Dipper hold up here, mostly being the going-only-by-a-nickname thing. But also like, Soos's abuelita seems like just the most tolerant person ever and would so just go "Oh. I have a grandson/daughter now." and move on with her life. And also can someone draw transfemme Soos because I have a vision and if you saw it you'd agree because I can't get over her but like I can't even describe it it's just. Transfemme Soos in a corset. Transfemme Soos putting on a skirt for the first time. You feel me? Oh, and nonbinary Soos, too, just like. Soos went from very cis to the most gender human being ever to me very fast.

The three exceptions to me are Wendy, Mabel, and Pacifica (and it's up for debate whether Pacifica's even an exception).

Mabel is always transfemme. She can't for the life of me be a guy and I can't explain why. She's either transfemme or cis. Sorry, that's a girl to me and she always will be.

Wendy is either a cis woman or a trans man, and probably honestly falls on either extremely-masculine-man or tomboy-cis-woman for me. I can't really see her as transfemme.

And Pacifica is trans masc to me. I don't even see him as cis, he's just a guy. A man. Alternatively, the reason he's one of the execptions is because I was working on Divine Falls stuff and I went "what if he's genderfluid lol" and then "oh wait that's actually cool" so he's either a trans man or genderfluid to me, but like. He's genderfluid in the "getting my tits cut off and taking hormones does not make my gender one thing, I am unknowable and my gender is whatever pisses you off the most" sorta way. (Unrelated I think genderfluid Pacifica would do great on Tumblr)

[crxzytogether]

Lol I wanna address this even tho nobody asked because I’m mad. Like ship whoever you want as yk this person said but leave it out of our tag-💀 my problems more with the fact that they tagged byler for this post than what they said but yk since they tagged us might as well respond.

Firstly, “ideas planted by your community”? Huh? Girl what- you mean our evidence? You mean our analysis and perceptions and ability to interpret what we’re watching beyond surface level? And honestly after season 4 even surface level melodramas not looking too good- Secondly, what harsh truths were brought up? The lies? Your perception of montauk? which idk sounds a lot like mike and wills relationship to me but to each their own… “they’ve been together since pretty much day one”, “they have a deep connection”, “four seasons of character development”?? Do I even need to explain? Who’s been together since day one? Right mike and will, in the beginning of episode 1 before any of the upside down shit even happens we’re shown that their relationship is different from their relationship with the other party members. A fact that’s proven time and time again throughout season 1 where we see how much more Mike is affected by Will’s disappearance(not tryna negate everybody else’s feelings or reactions but it’s clear that we’re supposed to notice Mike cares slightly more or in a different way). As for the deep connections? Season 2 shed scene ring a bell, the first one of Mike’s monologue that’s an attempt to help someone he cares about that actually works and is completely honest, deep connection boom. And that connections emphasized again in s4 with Will being able to encourage Mike and make him feel better and we already know why it’s special on Will’s side and their whole plot-line that season. Next, “four seasons of character development” im sorry what?, season 1 and season 3 maybe are the only seasons I’d consider they had that meanwhile season 4 I’d say they had character regression because tell me how Mike goes from being able to comfort El about her feeling like she’s a monster but then does a 180 not only unable to comfort her but also make her feel worse-(I’m talking about she didn’t look fine in case you didn’t catch that). Back to s1/s3, s1 where they were friends for the most part is the healthiest their relationship has ever been the entire show- like😭😭it literally just goes downhill from there. Season 2/season 3 their codependency I’m- and season 4 El feeling like she has to lie to Mike about her life and Mike unable to comfort her and also hiding his own interests from her. Like sure the bullying thing I get why she’d hide that maybe not really but El lies about so many things😭😭 she feels like she has to lie to keep up the relationship. THAT 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 HEALTHY 👏. Like maybe after they’ve both grown separately I’d consider it but as of now? No sir. Also let me remind you how El confronted Angela and asked her to help El keep up the pretence- SHE STILL DIDN’T FEEL SAFE OR COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TELL MIKE THE TRUTH. That’s not healthy for either of them. My byler agenda aside I still don’t think Mike and El should be together. Lastly, “the fact that Mileven IS endgame”, again I’m sorry what? Have you watched season 5? Have you read the scripts or been on set or talked to anybody working on st5 or work on st5 yourself? No? So then how is that a fact- it’s a prediction, an assumption but it’s not a fact. If after season 5 comes out and it did end up becoming true then you could use that phrase but as of now when you have no idea how season 5 is gonna go you can’t call that a fact. Also rip how are you so confident when Mike and Will are literally attached at the hip so far from what we have seen besides the rooftop convo and if that is enough to convince you then yikes- bc we’ve got like 10 of those to convince us so good luck watching season 5 and have a good day ig

[whitneybiter]

sleepover headcanons with the school LI's (male) ( ͡°³ ͡°)

mdni

Whitney —

pretty large house, he'd only ever invite you over if his parents were gone for a week or something. casual kind of date night, staying up late and drinking his parents fancy alcohol stash– horror movies and cuddling under a small blanket. pizza for dinner, before heading off to his bedroom. surprisingly well taken care of, and quite large. empty beer bottles strewn about, a desk in one corner with some papers covering most of the wood. he has a twin sized bed shoved up against the wall of his messy bedroom, half of it is covered in stuffed animals and pillows. navy blue sheets with like wine colored pillow cases, some pillows don't even have pillow cases. he barely fits alongside the mountain of fluff, and two bodies is more than a tight fit. he gets genuinely offended when you ask to move them, or sleep on top of them. he insists that you sleeping chest to chest, on top of him and as close as humanly possible is clearly the better solution. it's not because he wants to hold you, or anything. no way,.. he sleeps in boxers, and insists you sleep in underwear too. even if your brought pajamas, he makes you sleep in undies– promising to keep you warm, teasing you if you're reluctant. he's a deep sleeper, and a bit of a snorer. death grip around your waist, his face nuzzled into your neck. he's extremely affectionate when he's sleepy, super grumpy in the morning, even whining when you try to get out of bed before he's ready to.

Sydney (pure) —

his house is average sized, a big backyard making up for the quaint living space. sirris planned out a nice big dinner, home cooked for his dear son and the student who he loved the same. sirris stays in his bedroom, allowing you two privacy. sydney has a long list of rom-coms to watch, deep into the night. only on a weekend though, and even then he's still dozing off. he cuddles up next to you, clinging to your side like an koala, drooling on your shoulder even. you two eat in the living room, staying up late (like 10pm, sydney's a good boy). his bedroom is tidy, a cross hanging over his bed, motivational cat posters hung on his walls. he has a twin sized bed with floral patterning on them, his pillowcases a soft lilac color. his room is calming, the walls an offwhite color. it constantly smells like flowers in the room, lavender especially. he wears a full set of pajamas, long pants and a long sleeves shirt. he offers to share clothes with you, in case you didn't bring any. despite his bed being large enough, he silently scoots closer to you over time, falling asleep with his head your chest, legs intertwined with yours. he's very groggy when he wakes up, but he's out of bed and dressed for the day before the sun has even finished rising. he doesn't rush you, though– working on anything he needs to finish up for school while he waits on you.

Robin —

he invites you into his room after school, happens more often after the two of you establish a relationship. he loves spending time with you, even more now that he knows you feel the same. his bed takes up most of his small room in the orphanage, leaving less room for decorations. his bed sheets are a soft orange, like sherbet. he's got white pillowcases, a bunny stuffy lying on one. a desk is squished into one corner, school textbooks and homework scattered across the space. he has a small tv next to his bed on the floor, hooked up to his console. you two play games deep into the night, ending on a tie. he wears a plain t shirt and comfortable shorts to bed, nervously asking to cuddle, his cheeks flush when you agree. he sweats a lot in his sleep, his damp skin pressing against yours as he clings to you. he's a quiet sleeper, but he moves around a lot. he ends up basically on top of you throughout the night. he wakes up groggy, and immediately goes to take a shower, coming back to sit next to you in bed if you're still sleeping, playing with your hair until you come awake. he takes you out for breakfast, his treat.

Kylar —

he leads you into his bedroom immediately, insisting you stay there all night. his bedroom is a mess, lewd drawings of you, and what looks to be him in some, taped to the walls alongside photos of you that you'd never seen before. clothes on the floor, alongside a few dishes, mainly mugs. his room is fairly big, fitting a large desk with an expensive PC, his keyboard lights up green. he has crumbs all over his desk, as well as a few cups full of energy drinks, tea and coffee. his bed is actually quite clean, dark bed sheets and dark pillowcases. he's quick to rip the photo of your face off one of them, tossing the oddly damp pillow away. the bed smells like him, sweaty and musky. it's kind of soothing as you've grown accustomed to it. you two have your favorite meal for dinner, with a sweet drink on the side. he sleeps in his boxers and a graphic tee, desperately cuddling with you under the covers, making sure you're as comfortable as possible, despite the iron grip he has on your waist. he litters your face, neck and hands with wet kisses before he can fall asleep, his heart hammering in his chest as he clings closer, pressing it against yours. he hides his flushed face in your neck, drool dripping down his chin and onto your skin as he finally drifts off. he's like a corpse when he sleeps, you would have worried he was dead if not for the breath fanning your neck. you wake up to him staring down at you, head in his lap, his hands playing with your hair and tracing your features. he makes you your favorite breakfast food, not giving up even when he burns something.

i might do a part two with the others if this post gets enough attention, however i don't know all of them too well and i fear it would suk (´⌒｀;)