#internalized

[nando161mando]

how to know you've internalized capitalism

[guiltyidealist]

I just think we should start framing these things in the first person. I am not immune to propaganda. I have implicit biases, in spite of my explicit beliefs, which I need to keep in check.

[rain-rainynights-side]

it's such a paradox isn't it? i crave love yet choose to stay silent

[despondent-beauty]

Was thinking about that 'asking someone how they feel about furries is a great litmus test' post from a few years back.

Really starting to realize that being anti-furry is often (not always) an indicator of extremely problematic/toxic thinking patterns, since the furry fandom's members are primarily (but not entirely) criticized for behaving in one of these two ways:

Zoophilia

Cringe/weird

"Furries are often zoophiles!"

Issue #1 may be a legitimate concern when dialed back, but it is often an overgeneralization that indicates that the individual may not be willing to a) check their assumptions about minority groups and b) may host a whole lot of other discriminatory beliefs that they have failed to question as a result. In my poking around online, I found that there are heightened rates of zoophilia in the furry fandom, but nowhere near enough to say that furries are often zoophiles or that it's even a major component of the fandom.

To allow this concern to affect how one treats and perceives furries is to allow one's presuppositions -- derived from what random internet ragebaiters say, not even aligned with one's own personal sense of identity -- to usurp one's ability to see the group as it truly is, which is a fancy way of saying 'they believe in and apply stereotypes, and they don't seem to care.' This is so obviously a problematic thinking pattern that I don't need to explain why.

"Furries are cringe/weird, and they should just stop being furries!"

Issue #2 tends to be the more difficult of the two to address (when I see other people thinking in this way). Why? Because it's much harder to demonstrate why it's problematic. (As an aside, I don't think it's a legitimate criticism at all -- calling something cringe is never legitimate criticism, and that's part of the problem.)

i) Defining cringe.

Cringe is essentially the feeling that one gets for empathizing with the behavior of someone acting in a way that society generally thinks is 'uncool.' You both see yourself in that individual (some repression of your own tendencies/wants) AND how society views that individual. So you empathize with their self-expression and then feel strong negative feedback thinking of losing face/value in the eyes of the tribe. On top of this, you start to think 'well, that person is only doing that because they're not socially aware enough to know they shouldn't.' Cringe is born.

ii) Implications of cringe.

The issue here is obviously that 'cringe' is oftentimes used as shorthand to say 'well, other people would think that that's weird and negatively judge you for it,' which indicates that the individual struggles with internalized phobias -- even if they're LGBTQ+ or part of another minority. A prominent (and easily accepted as problematic) example of this is when gay men say 'Well, I don't like flamers. They shouldn't act that way because they just ruin it for all of us.'

iii) Cringe and its relationship to neurodivergency.

Furthermore, a lot of the behaviors labeled 'cringe' and 'weird' are behaviors that autistic and neurodivergent individuals have. Obsessions with things (childish, like plushies, or otherwise). Rigid logic. Difficulty communicating. Alexithymia. Etc. So, in essence, the behaviors being criticized here are frequently just neurodivergent behaviors that society frowns upon, again indicating that the individual in question is struggling with internalized phobias (specifically ableism in this example, but where there's one phobia, there are likely more).

I'm not claiming anything about the prevalence of neurodivergency in the furry fandom (though common perception is that it's much more common), but I am claiming that the furry fandom is often criticized not for being the furry fandom but rather because of neurodivergent behavior from its members. This gets generalized to the entire fandom, but it's wrong to criticize people for a lot of these traits to begin with! They only get criticized because they're 'abnormal,' whatever that word even means! (I suspect its meaning boils down to 'well, I just don't like it.)

iv) What right do we have to discriminate against others based on 'cringe' behaviors?

Finally, the fact that these behaviors should be labeled weird/cringe/bad at all is an indicator that the individual who dislikes furries objectifies societal standards. You know what? It's okay if you personally think that something is cringe, but it's not okay to pretend that that means anything in objective reality. Not unless you have objective evidence that demonstrates what that connection is. You disliking something does not make it inherently good or bad.

Far too often, I see fur-phobes (or whatever you want to call them) say things like 'they shouldn't behave that way' (usually in more words and with, somehow, less tact). In this way, they are objectifying the standards of society, even though those standards are frequently entirely arbitrary and, again, ableist/discriminatory against neurodivergent people -- or even just people of different cultural backgrounds!

Why, in objective reality, consequentially speaking, should people NOT behave in a way that you and other people think is 'weird' or 'abnormal?' What's the actual negative impact of this behavior on you?

Oh, they're not fitting into your mold of what an ideal person looks like? And what exactly is that ideal person? A 'proper' gay? A 'proper' white, cisgender male? What standards are you projecting into the world, and why have you chosen to believe in those standards so strongly that you're willing to criticize and bully those who don't fit those standards? Who defines these things? Why are they valued? Do you really believe that you have a moral/logical high ground?

These people have limited ability to introspect and remove themselves from problematic and toxic views.

In short, I am very distrustful of people who claim to dislike furries. It indicates to me that they have internalized phobias, no sense of true identity (identity dictated by society/their perception of what society wants them to believe), and difficulty developing themselves/introspecting to achieve growth.

All of this is to say that a good way to very quickly see if someone is at risk for having problematic views is to ask them their opinion on furries.

[howifeltabouthim]

'Nick isn't the sort of man to wear his heart on his sleeve—he's one of the people . . . who have slow, painful feelings.'

L. P. Hartley, from My Fellow Devils

[girl4music]

Do I have a “problem” with making every same-sex intimate relationship or deep friendship I observe and engage in in TV art/entertainment romantic? Yes, I do.

However… I don’t see the “problem” in doing that.

Meaning: I don’t see why it’s a “problem” that it can be interpreted as romantic just because it’s intimate and deep. I don’t believe it being interpreted as a romantic relationship changes what that relationship already is.

I think it’s sad that people look at romance in that way to be honest. I especially think it’s even sadder when it’s real life. Like how longtime friends seem to have that perspective when they feel like they’re falling in love with each other. That if they lean into those feelings, it can or will reduce their friendship so there’s this need for it to remain platonic because involving romance would ruin it for them. Ruin their friendship.

Nope. Don’t see it that way. Never have. And I don’t ever think that’s a problem with romance. I think that’s a problem with people that devalue what “romance” is because the examples to draw from are disappointing. Such as what they may see in TV art/entertainment.

As for the “same-sex” aspect to it. It never seems to be a problem that it’s interpreted or read or assumed as a romantic relationship when it’s opposite-sex instead.

So why ever should it ever be if it’s same-sex?

WLW or MLM specifically?

I value platonic relationships too. But the thing is is that if I genuinely believe that it works or looks better as romantic, then I don’t understand why it’s a “problem”that I no longer think or believe of it as platonic because I don’t understand how it suddenly being thought of as romantic negates it being a beautiful, authentic, serious and compelling relationship. In fact I think that it makes it more of all of that, not less than. I think rather the questions that need to be asked when it comes to this is: Does it make sense? Does it feel more authentic? Is the storytelling working better with it being this way? Are the character representation and development arcs for the characters thriving because of it being this way?

If the answer is “yes”, then why is it ever a problem?

This is internalized homo/queerphobia. This is an internalized perspective that even when a same-sex relationship looks or feels right deep down, it still looks or feels wrong on the surface rather than the other way around. This is something you’ve only been taught to see and believe as “wrong” because it’s not opposite-sex. You should look into it because there is nothing wrong with it being gay or queer or with it not being heterosexual. If there is nothing ever wrong for you with romance and love between straight characters, then there is nothing wrong with romance and love between gay or queer characters. Love in general is not wrong.

What’s wrong is that preconceived judgement when it comes to the loving relationships represented in TV art/entertainment between characters cannot be validated as romance just because those characters are same-sex but it’s perfectly fine when they are opposite-sex.

There’s never any “problem” with it being romantic over platonic when it’s a MLF. But not WLW or MLM. Or indeed… anything polyamorous/polygamous. Why?

It’s either fully conscious externalized homophobia and queerphobia or unconscious internalized homophobia and queerphobia. I only have sympathy for the latter.

But my sympathy can only go so far. Sort your shit out.

If you can’t, then don’t bother interacting with me again. You know who you are. This is your only warning. I won’t tolerate any negative vibes when it comes to this because I will just assume you’re being a dick because I can make assumptions too and claim that I am 100% right about what I don’t have enough legitimate information on. I mean I can, but I’ll try not to. I’ll try to give the benefit of the doubt and believe that you’re simply just misinformed or poorly educated.

That’s the difference. Internalized homo/queerphobia isn’t a crime. But it does need to be acknowledged and addressed and I only have time for people who want to do that as opposed to people only using it as a weapon.

[hexjulia]

so hard not to become the most annoying person on earth if you're a little excitable and just learned a little about a topic literally no one around you has any interest in

[kateammann]

Happy International Asexuality Day!!! 🖤🩶🤍💜

[geekysteven]

Example art from Tumblr users @poltergrease @teenageclown @randomationality

[kensatou]

good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi

update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome

quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~

also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Deep sea benthic Miku

[dreamingaboutsakuratrees]

[pillow-boi]

Armenian Miku 🇦🇲✨

[beastwhimsy]

"I should draw Māori Miku!" I said to myself. "Just a fun sketch, it shouldn't take me long" I said to myself. Six hours later I come to with this in front of me and a wrist begging for mercy but holy fuck worth it. I love this trend this was so much fun

PLEASE DON'T REPOST ON OTHER SITES!!! ASK ME FIRST!!!!!

DISCLAIMERS AND NOTES ETC.... I'm Pākehā, meaning I am not of Māori descent. I hold so much respect for Māori people, for their values and traditions, and for the fierce pride with which kapa haka is performed. I thought if I was going to design a Māori Miku, it makes sense to dress her in a kapa haka kākahu, as her whole thing is singing and dancing!!! The moko kauae is not based off any real person's. I referenced the temporary moko kauae a lot of kapa haka performers wear!! Was tricky finding out whether or not depicting her with a moko kauae was a good idea, so I went the safe route- showing an aspect of Māori culture without stepping over any boundaries!! Brown eyed Miku is everything to me shout out brown eyed Miku.... I referenced like seven different outfits to put hers together!! I really hope this looks accurate or at least passable. Thanks to adorkastock for the pose ref!!

[kedreeva]

Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.

(source)