#is this a gift from crowley? perhaps

[idanit]

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that she was English, that she was intelligent, and that she was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”

Butch Aziraphale makes a lot of sense to me.

[tealfloyd]

ANONYMOUS REQUESTED:

"Okay, okay! Hear me out on this: An MC who gifts every boy and the staff (minus Crowley) a specially made gift (alongside chocolate ofc) for Valentine's Day. For example, Riddle gets a bouquet of roses alongside heart-shaped chocolate, Ace getting a chocolate cherry pie and a watch, and Cater gets a skateboard and spicy chocolate.

I can just imagine the chaos that will ensue.

"Hey! Your chocolate is bigger than mine!"

"No fair! I wanted that too!"

Thank you and have a great day!"

AN UNTYPICAL VALENTINE’S

“Congratulations, MC. You have now become the Santa of Valentine’s Day!”

SUMMARY: It's Valentine's Day in Twisted Wonderland, and you already know what that means: a mix of chocolates and petty discussions~! (Everyone x Fem!Reader)

WARNINGS: None... Other than MC’s empty wallet.

CONTENT: Ortho doesn’t have a section, but his reaction is described in the introduction. Me trying to understand these boys and their past, so they might seem a little ooc. Also Lilia’s part may have end up a little too philosophical. 

A/N: Okay okay. I know Valentine’s was five months ago, and that I was in an unexpected hiatus for more than six months, but I just really wanted to post this because this draft was eating me alive. Also, I don’t know why, but Pomefiore’s part was so difficult to write, and thus, I ended up giving up temporarily.

Annnd, I know that the request asked for the staff as well, but I didn’t want to make this longer than it already is, so I decided I will post it separately. Eventually.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this! :)

WORDS: 10K+

Ah, Valentine’s Day. A lively festivity that encompasses love and friendship, usually celebrated by those who want to demonstrate affection to the people they care about the most, being in a platonic or a romantic way.

Yet, that’s talking outside of Night Raven College, an academy that’s full of eccentric students, and so, on behalf of that eccentricity, things are a little bit different.

And it all starts with your protective and small companion, Grim.

You finished checking your bag for the last time before leaving, assuring that all the chocolates and gifts you packed were inside, afraid of forgetting any of them in the dorm.

“Sevens, how am I going to carry this...?” You murmured while staring at the huge sack that contained all of your presents, thinking that it resembled the bag that a certain character would only use every Christmas.

All you did was sigh, mentally preparing yourself to carry that seemingly heavy Santa bag.

Or at least that’s what you were going to do, until a sleepy voice stopped you from doing so, effectively getting your attention.

“Where are you going, henchman...?” Grim groggily asked, yawning as he rubbed his eyes. “And why do you have that bag...?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Grim’s drowsy expression as you approached him, scratching his head lightly. “You see, since today is Valentine’s, I wanted to make something special for our friends, so—” And before you could finish your sentence, an excited scream echoed from the old dorm, startling you both.

"Did someone say Valentine's?!" Conrad yelled, cheerfully floating around.

"This brings back so many great memories! I still remember all the chocolates I've received when I was alive. Such great days~" Brawley said, his mind consumed by memories from his past, all while wearing a nostalgic smile.

"Oh, what do we have here~?" Arthur asked, curiosity getting the best out of him as he picked some of the presents that were at the top. "Some gifts for your friends, perhaps~?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows in a funny manner.

Letting out a soft chuckle while trying to calm Grim down—who was certainly not happy after the abrupt appearance—, you answered. “Indeed, it’s Valentine’s after all. Do they meet your expectations?” You jokingly asked, prompting a playful laughter from the trio of ghosts.

“I absolutely approve them, but I don’t know if those students will.”

“It's obvious they will! She even has personalized chocolates for all of them!”

“That’s true... I wonder how long it took you to prepare all of this.”

They commented, starting a light chat about the festivity, all laughing and having fun. However, in between the funny remarks and jokes, Grim had enough, whining in annoyance as his brain tried its best to understand what was happening.

“What are ya’ talking about?” He complained, turning to look at you with an angry expression. “Henchman! Explain this madness!”

“Well, Grim,” you started, trying to find the correct words to clarify the meaning of this holiday to him. “Valentine’s Day is—“ Although it seemed that you didn’t have to in the first place, seeing that you were once again interrupted by your strangely excited fellows.

“Oh!”, Brawley exclaimed. “Can we explain it?”

“Yeah, we’re the best people, er- Ghosts when it comes to Valentine’s,” Arthur enthusiastically stated.

“Can we make the explanation, MC?” Conrad asked, and since you didn’t want to ruin their happiness, you agreed.

“The floor is yours,” and with that cue, they stood in front of a confused Grim, who looked at you with slight fear and overall confusion.

It took you a few moments to realize that they took it quite literally as you listened to their old-styled song about the festivity, which maybe overused the word “love” in a romantic way... Yet, it was a detail that you didn’t pay much attention to, instead deciding to enjoy the show.

But someone that didn’t take this lightly was Grim, being that a certain sentence was starting to repeat in his mind over and over again: “A day when love stories start! Who would be the next one to take this important step~?”

He was so alarmed that he missed the part where they explained that it was also a day to share with friends, so the first thing that passed through his head was: “They’re tryin’ to steal my henchman! I cannot let that happen!” 

And so, a genius idea was born.

“I’ll go with you, henchman!” He suddenly exclaimed, taking you by surprise, frowning in response.

“Really?” You inquired, and so did the ghosts, adding themselves to the confusion train while raising an eyebrow.

“What? I’m just sayin’ I’m going with you!” Grim repeated, further confusing you four.

“Yes, I heard that, but why...?”

“Why not?” Your companion said, avoiding answering since he knew you were going to tease him about it, instead choosing to walk towards the front door.

“Why though…?” You questioned for the last time, eyeing him with suspicion as you made your way towards the door, picking the bag—that was, to your surprise, much lighter than you thought—in the process.

“We don’t have time for this! If we hurry, we can come back in time for dinner!”

Now that was the Grim you remembered, and even if you never thought that hearing that sentence would make you relieved your wallet isn’t pleased to hear this though, this time it certainly did.

“Okay, let’s go then,” you said, turning to your translucent companions—who still had their mouths wide open, very much resembling to a cartoon—to wave them goodbye.

“Goodbye, guys! We will see you later! The song was amazing, by the way!” Was the last thing you said before closing the door, snapping the ghosts out of their trance.

“Aw! She loved our song!” Was the first thing Conrad said, happy that you liked their performance, not noticing the strange looks he received from the other two.

“Is he just going to ignore the fact that Grim seemed suspiciously protective over MC?” Arthur asked, and Brawley shook his head, disagreeing with him.

“It’s not weird that Grim is protective over her, that’s like a world-known fact,” he paused for a second, as if trying to think of the results of your sincere actions. “I’m more intrigued by how those boys would react upon receiving such a lovely gift from their oblivious love interest.”

And that, my dear Brawley, is what are we going to witness today.

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, FIRST STOP: HEARTSLABYUL

Heartslabyul was your first dorm of choice, and that was because you knew everyone will be in the same place at the same time. It was supposed to be easy; go in and go out.

Yet, what was the first thing you heard when entering the dorm’s living room? Screams. Certainly one of the most welcoming sounds while stepping into a place that embraces the idea of discipline.

Seeing that the other students (or at least most of them) were minding their own business, you thought it was not that big of a deal. After greeting the ones that weren’t busy, you both walked over to the kitchen, encountering a not so peculiar scene: Riddle arguing with Ace.

"Guys?" You asked, eyebrow raised as you wondered what happened.

"Oh, Prefect!" Cater exclaimed, cheerfully approaching you. "Thanks for appearing! This situation was #stressingmeout," he commented, thankful for your presence.

"Prefect," Riddle said after coughing slightly, attempting to compose himself. "What brings you here?"

“Well, since I assume you already know what day it is, I thought it would be nice to gift you some chocolates,” you voiced, chuckled at the expressions of your friends as you gave them their respective presents, who were pretty much baffled to hear that. “Or maybe you don’t know, and the heart motifs everywhere are misleading.”

The ones that caught up the fastest were Trey and Cater what a surprise, promptly putting two and two together and realising the reason behind your sudden but cute action.

"Sevens, is it Valentine's already?" Trey questioned, placing a hand on his hat to cover his face due to the embarrassment.

"Are these for us~?" Cater excitedly asked, already pulling out his phone to document this moment. "They are totes cute! Thanks, Prefect!" He said, taking dozens of pictures of the little red box.

“Valentine’s...?” Deuce muttered, face turning pale after his brain clicked and realised what that meant. “I’m sorry, MC! I don’t have a present for you!” He quickly apologised, bowing before you.

"You don't have to give me anything, you know?" You assured, trying to ease his concern. "I just wanted to gift you all something as thanks for all your help and support, and for being my friends, of course."

And that is how you make the Heartslabyul (and pretty much anyone in NRC) students blush in mere seconds; if these guys weren’t blushing before, now they undoubtedly are.

"Yeah, yeah, enough of these speeches!" Grim chimed, wanting to move onto the next dorm already. "We don't have all day! Let's go, henchman!"

"Geez, what has got into you today?" You said, turning to the students to wave them goodbye. "I have to go now; I hope you liked the— Agh! Grim, stop pushing me!"

In an instant, the two of you departed, leaving behind five startled students who were speechless by the sudden turn of events.

Riddle’s heart-shaped chocolates match his new bouquet of red roses.

Riddle never had a Valentine’s Day celebration before. Mainly because his mom, being the main factor in his life, used to call the holiday a “disruptive event,” and so, he ended up thinking that Valentine’s was an unnecessary and dumb festivity. You can now assume he doesn't think that anymore. As everyone already guessed, this boy was red; in fact, if you inspected his face closely enough, you would notice that his cheeks were tinted with the same shade the flowers gifted to him had, which he used to cover his face. And don’t get me started when he saw the chocolates; he nearly dropped the box out of embarrassment, not believing that you were bold enough to give him heart-shaped chocolates... But it’s not like he’s complaining so please gift this boy more heart-shaped sweets.

Trey’s hazelnut chocolates match his new set of heart measuring spoons.

Trey doesn’t know how he could’ve possibly forgotten about Valentine’s; his family owns a bakery, by the Sevens! He must’ve had the date imprinted on his mind by now! He's just wondering how he didn't think about it before while looking at the gifts, feeling a bit guilty that he didn't have anything for you. Although... That doesn't mean he wouldn't focus on your kind-hearted present, after all, who could after receiving such a detailed gift of your dear romantic interest friend? Immediately after this, he knows that he has to make something for you as well; something to remind you how special you are. Hence, why his mind is in a whirlwind of ideas, contemplating which chocolate would best match your taste, and what’s better, he can use that cute set of spoons you just gifted him.

Cater’s spicy pumpkin chocolates match his new skateboard.

Cater was very aware that today was Valentine's Day. Like, it's Cater we're talking about. He literally spent the entire week thinking of gift ideas for a friend crush in order to find the perfect one for you. He just wasn't expecting for you to pull an uno reverse card on him, or at least not before he gave you your gift. Less to say that he was over the moon with this action; he already had a new wallpaper and ten new posts featuring his new possessions. He was so excited that he forgot he had something for you, and by the time he remembered you were already gone. He figures out he can drop by Ramshackle later, but it didn't take long for him to realise that everyone would have the same idea. Oh well, what a perfect occasion to have a new skateboard~.

Ace’s chocolate-covered cherries match his new frog watch.

Ace has never been a big fan of Valentine's. After breaking up with his first girlfriend, he ended up disliking the romantic idea of the holiday. Though that didn't mean that he didn't like the presents and the chocolates, which he would sometimes receive. He used to feel confident when receiving those, yet he didn't give them too much importance, so he doesn't understand why he was blushing over some chocolate-covered cherries and a stupid frog watch. Like, are you mocking him, MC? Do you really think that he would use such a dumb thing? He definitely doesn't think that this is so cute coming from you, and he definitely is not going to use that watch everyday spoiler alert, he is definitely going to.

Deuce’s cinnamon flavored chocolate eggs match his chicken plushie.

Deuce isn't very versed when it comes to Valentine's. He did celebrate it with his mom, but that was literally it. The only times he received chocolates and other gifts were from anonymous letters, but he thought it was a joke, so he never tried to find the author (which ended up being a girl that had a huge crush on him). Hence why this boy is worried. He definitely appreciates you and your gifts, because it’s not every day that you get a Valentine’s gift from your crush! Like, what is he supposed to give you (even though you said it was fine) after you took the time and effort to elaborate such a wholesome gift? He ends up worrying so much about it that the chocolate has probably melted by now. But don’t worry, his plushie is still safe and sound!

You may be thinking that “they ended up living happy forever after,” right? No. That’s not how Heartslabyul works.

"Hey! Why is your chocolate bigger than mine?!"

"How is that my fault...? Hey! Stop trying to steal my chocolates!"

"There's no need to fight. I'm sure that the Prefect made sure to make everyone's chocolates equally."

"Yeah! You should worry about what to gift her instead~"

“I will take my leave then. You're free to come with me to try to find something that she would like.”

"Why did that sound so condescending...?"

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, SECOND STOP: SAVANACLAW

Savanaclaw’s was the second dorm you entered, and even if you loved the dorm, you weren’t sure how your chocolates were going to handle its weather because, surprise surprise: heat and chocolates do not go well together. Unless they like melted chocolate.

The situation didn’t seem to go any better, as you didn’t know where could the Savanaclaw students be. Well, all of them except for Leona, who was comfortably sleeping on the living room’s couch.

“Maybe we should find the others first. I don’t want to wake—” You commented, being abruptly interrupted by Grim and his yells, sighing upon the situation. “—Him up.”

"Hey, sleeping beauty! Wake up!" Your companion shouted, about to jump on his stomach before you grabbed him, keeping Grim from doing anything he might regret.

“Why are you being so goddamn loud...?” Leona grumbled, groggily standing up with a scowl on his face due to the sudden awakening. Looking at Grim, fully aware that he was the nuisance that interrupted his sleep, he sent him a threatening stare.

Before Grim could reply (or try to, at the very least), you stopped him from doing so, further explaining why you were in the dorm to begin with.

"I'm sorry, Leona. I'm sure it wasn't Grim's intention to wake you up in such a rude way," you stated, briefly glaring at the pouting creature.

"That's not true! And don't think that you've scared the great Grim! I—" Deciding that it was enough, you started to scratch behind his ear, sending an apologetic smile to the dorm leader in front of you, who seemed to be a little annoyed jealous of this action.

"I brought Valentine's presents for all of you," you answered, momentarily shocking the lion for a few seconds before his lips erupted into a smirk.

"Valentine's, huh?" He remarked, stepping closer towards you. "Then I guess today's the perfect day to—"

And just like we saw before (and will continue to see), Leona was interrupted, because students at this college apparently don’t like when people are about to finish their sentences.

Ruggie and Jack weren't far away from where you three were. In fact, both of them were preparing their meals before they heard your voice coming from the living room.

And when they decided to check, what's the first thing they see upon exiting the kitchen? His dorm leader shamelessly flirting with you at a really close distance while you carried a sleepy Grim.

"What do we have here~?" Ruggie chimed, walking towards your side so he could be near you. "What can we do for you, Prefect~?" He asked, ignoring Leona's death stare.

"And why did you bring such a large bag?" Jack questioned, making the two beastmen suddenly notice the heavy bag you were carrying on your shoulders.

"Glad you asked, Jack," you replied, looking through your bag’s different contents until you finally reached the ones that were labelled after them. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Immediately following your statement, you presented them with their respective gifts, easily recognizable by the distinct yellow hue of the packaging.

The beastmen’s cheeks were slowly turning into a bright red after receiving the present, treating the little package like the most precious thing on earth, which was true, at least in their eyes.

"Are these… For us…?" Ruggie hesitated, unsure of how he should react.

"Duh! Didn't you just hear her?!" Grim said, annoyance showing in his voice.

"You're just jealous you didn't get anything," Leona guessed, smirking upon seeing how irked he got by that teasing comment.

"I'm sorry, MC, but I don't have anything for you," Jack apologised, and before he could even think of bowing before you, you stopped him.

"You don't have to give me anything. As long as you like the present, I have nothing to worry about," you explained with a small smile, starting to walk towards the exit. "Unfortunately, I can't stay for much longer. So, I guess I will see you later!" 

And with that, you managed to leave just before your fluffy companion started to complain.

Leona’s smoked dark chocolates match his new lion pendant.

Leona isn’t that used to celebrating holidays, and Valentine’s wasn’t the exception. He would sometimes receive large amounts of gifts, ranging from expensive jewelry to different sets of clothing; things that he would just leave unused and forgotten. But your gift is a different story. You can be sure this man is going to use that necklace until he dies. He’s not going to entertain the possibility of it going missing in the depths of his bedroom, already frowning at the imaginary scenario of looking at your sad face while you ask where his gift was. He even clicks his tongue in annoyance, putting on the pendant to make sure it wasn’t going anywhere. Let’s see how fast you catch on this one, herbivore.

Ruggie’s mini donuts covered in chocolate match his new handmade bracelet.

Ruggie hasn't received, nor gifted a Valentine's gift ever. Holiday presents were (and still are) something that he deems as important and special. The only times when he did gift something to someone were during birthdays and as thanks, and vice versa. He’s not used to receiving presents outside those situations, and what’s even more surprising to him is that you were the one that brought the gift. Actually, no; what’s more surprising than that is that you don’t want anything in return, something that really caught him off guard. Less to say that he is going to be over-protecting those presents; this was something that you made for him and him only, and so it shall continue that way except the donuts, he can’t let them rot, can he?

Jack’s pear cider chocolates match his new snowboarding gloves. 

Jack has actually received quite a few Valentine’s gifts, but the thing is, just like Deuce, he still doesn’t know who the person behind those presents was. He never paid a lot of attention to it at the time, and so he continued with his life. Now he’s aware that he had to paid attention before. The one day that he doesn’t check the calendar ends up being Valentine’s Day; I can completely assure you that he’s setting up an alarm for the next one, also adding to the reminder some present ideas that say: “you’re my crush,” but don’t scream it. When you leave, he stands so still you can mistake him for a statue; if statues could wag their tail, of course.

Savanaclaw is savage what a shock, right? These boys would not even let the other one stand next to their present. Sevens, they wouldn’t even let them breathe next to their present.

"I feel sorry for you. That's really all the Herbivore got you?"

"At least I will make sure to use it. I wonder how long it will take before that pendant disappears."

"What did you say?"

"I guess I will see you later. I don't want to be a part of this."

"Hey, come back!"

"We haven't even started on your present!"

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, THIRD STOP: OCTAVINELLE

Octavinelle, as your following choice, felt like a secure place. You were almost sure you were going to find your friends in the blink of an eye, give them their gifts and head to the next dorm. Yet the variable you didn’t have into account was considering how empty and eerie the dorm appeared at first glance.

"Henchman?" Grim started.

"Yeah?" You answered, slowly walking towards the Mostro Lounge.

"Don't ya’ think there's something fishy going on today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Floyd and Jade aren't here."

And upon that remark, you stopped. Looking around to try to spot your usually welcome committee, you noted that Grim was correct. Jade and Floyd were nowhere to be found, slightly confusing you.

"Well, today must be a busy day at the Mostro Lounge. They are most likely working," you said, resuming your walk.

Although Grim didn’t seem to want to continue the walk, scared to be a victim of whatever evil scheme the eels were plotting.

You assured that you wouldn’t let anything happen to him on your guard, to which he responded by saying he didn’t need your protection, rambling about how you dared to think he wasn't strong enough to protect you— Ahem, to protect himself and you, until he suddenly stopped.

"Henchman," he started again.

"Yeah?" you answered a second time.

"I think there's someone behind us—"

Noticing two large shadows that covered yours, you both slowly turned around, encountering two identical faces that looked down on you with a sly smile, vocalizing:

"Shrimpy~!"

"What a pleasant surprise to see you here, Prefect."

Grim let out a high-pitched scream, hiding behind your legs due to the shock, unaware of the death stare that Floyd directed at him.

"Ah, Jade, Floyd. We were just talking about you," you said, sighing in relief upon listening to their characteristic voices.

"Wah~! Did you hear that, Jade? Shrimpy was looking for me~" Floyd exclaimed, to which his twin only chuckled.

"I heard that she was looking for both of us, in fact," and before his brother could whine in response, Jade added. "Why would that be, Prefect?"

"Before I answer to that, do you know where Azul is?" you asked, looking behind them in hopes that the octomerman would appear.

"Azul? Oh, that's right," Jade let out a small smile. "He must be looking for us."

"Eh~? But I don't want to go back!" Floyd whined, thinking about what he could do to avoid going to work again. "Oh!" He exclaimed, an imaginary light bulb appearing over his head. "I can hide behind you, right, Shrimpy~?"

"You can try, but I don't think it would do much," you responded, and just when he was about to do it, you heard a yell coming from the end of the hallway.

"Jade! Floyd!" Azul screamed, walking over to where you were. "Do I need to remind you that you are still working? If you continue—"

"Hello, Azul," you greeted, seeing how the businessman yelped due to the surprise, unaware that you were behind Jade. "Great timing, I was about to look after you."

"Prefect!" He exclaimed, unconsciously tidying himself up, trying to distract you from his earlier action. "And why did you want to see me?" He stuttered, cheeks tinted of a light pink.

"I'm sure you already know what day is today, so I'm just going to give you these," you briefly explained, handing all of them their respective gifts and chocolates. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Valentine's...?" Floyd muttered, face brightening up due to the excitement. "Does this mean Shrimpy loves me~?" He boldly asked, trying to get a shy reaction out of you, all while Azul covered his face in embarrassment, making this scenario all the much more entertaining to Jade, who was lightly chucking.

Yet when all of this unfolded, you talked, saying something that took all three of them by surprise. “Of course, I love you all after all,” you replied with a bright and contagious smile; it was at that moment that Grim realised that if he didn't do anything about this soon, they wouldn't let you go, and he can't let that happen.

"Henchman! We have to get going! Is gonna take us forever to finish if we stay here!" 

You sighed at Grim’s impatient behavior, not really understanding where it was coming from. But he was right; your chocolates weren’t going to last a whole day outside, they just weren’t made for that kind of purpose.

"As you see, me and my new guardian have to get going, so I will see you later," you joked, being weakly dragged by your companion, biding them farewell (hoping that Floyd wasn’t going to carry you like a sack of potatoes, again).

Azul’s blueberry flavoured chocolate coins match his new octopus coin.

Azul didn't really care about Valentine's (and no, it’s not because he was made fun of constantly during this day, why would you think that? It was, please give this boy lots of hugs and support); the only reason keeps track of it is that he knows it's a very profitable holiday. And I said "didn't" because that was before he realised that he had a crush on you... Okay, maybe Jade made him aware, but he still realised it. He spent the last couple of months planning the perfect plan to confess to you or at least try to, but this wasn't on his schedule. He marked this situation as "very improbable," hence why he looks like he has a fever. Furthermore, he tries to dissimulate it since he doesn't want the twins to make fun of him (again), but it's too late. A flustered Azul is always going to be interesting to witness.

Jade’s chocolate shaped mushrooms (like the Meiji Kinoko Chocolate), match his new decorations for his terrariums.

Jade is sort of neutral about Valentine's. He's not one that usually gives gifts (he definitely gave Floyd some mushrooms as a Valentine’s gift, and you can tell he was not happy about it), but he has definitely received a couple of presents, which he usually doesn’t keep unless they're interesting enough. But, if he's being honest, he wouldn't throw away anything that you gift to him; most people would call it "simping", he calls it "courtesy." His first reaction is to smile upon receiving it, yet unlike most of his mannerisms (which he keeps very controlled), this was something that to the untrained eye would go unnoticed, yet his twin and his boss childhood friend know that there's a hint of genuine happiness in it.

Floyd’s sea salt caramel lego-shaped chocolates match his new eel bracelet with his name on it.

Unlike his brother, Floyd thinks Valentine's is a very interesting holiday. He considers it the “funniest” day just because he finds the rejected Valentine’s faces so amusing. One thing he has in common with Jade though, is that he doesn't keep most of the presents given to him, especially if he can't see the reaction of the person. So, to meet his expectations you have to: one, give it to him directly, and two, wait for the best. Fortunately, we're talking about you, so that’s good news for you. Although the bad news is that you only have two options now that you’ve given him something: run or face his clinginess. 

If you didn’t know who these students were, you wouldn’t be amused, but if you do, well, it certainly was strange seeing all three (especially Floyd) staying idle in the middle of the hallway just... Existing.

"Why are you standing there? Go back to work."

"Aren't you going with us, boss?"

"Yeah! That's really unfair!"

"I have some important things that I have to take care of."

"Really? How strange, I remember you said that you had some paperwork to do."

"Oh~ Jade caught you lying, Azul~"

"Just go back to work, and don't even think about following me."

"Do you want to follow him, Jade~?"

"Of course, Floyd."

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, FOURTH STOP: SCARABIA

Since Scarabia was your next stop, you were a bit worried. Mainly because Scarabia’s weather, just like Savanaclaw, wasn’t the ideal for your chocolates to be in. Yet, something that kept your hopes high was your positivism, assuring yourself (in order to not panic) that you were going to find your friends rapidly.

"Henchman, don't ya' think we should hurry? I don't think those chocolates can stand this heat."

"I know, it’s starting to worry me," you responded, face changing from concern to determination. "But I think I know where they could be."

Grim tilted his head, as if asking: "What do you mean?"

"I called Kalim earlier to ask him about his and Jamil's plans. They don't stay in one place for long, so it was only to be sure."

"And where are they then?"

"Right here," you stated, standing in front of a big door: the one that contained all of Kalim's treasures.

You grabbed the handle, ready to open it when suddenly, the door pulled towards you. It collided with your forehead, making you lose your balance slightly, trying to not fall since it could make it worse.

"Prefect!" The Scarabia students exclaimed, worried and confused about what just happened. "Are you okay?!"

"It's okay, I'm okay," you reassured them, holding your head as a reflexive reaction.

"Henchman! Can you hear me?!" Grim yelled, making you wince slightly due to the headache. "How dare ya', pesky humans! She could have died!"

"I'm so sorry, Prefect! Do you need to go to the infirmary? Jamil and I can bring you there!" Kalim exclaimed; eyes full of concern out of fear of something severe happening to you.

"Don't worry, Kalim. I know it was an accident," you said, feeling much better now that they were starting to quiet down. “I’m sure it’s not going to leave a scar or something.”

"Prefect, are you completely sure? We don't have any problem accompanying you to the nurse," Jamil suggested, but you refused.

"Guys, seriously, I'm fine," you said, crouching down, so you could look for their gifts. "Now onto the thing I wanted to talk about..." You handed them the presents and chocolates. "Happy Valentine's."

"Valentine's...?" Kalim asked, thinking about something for a moment before an imaginary light bulb appeared over his head. "Oh, that's right! We also have a present for you as well! Right, Jamil?"

Jamil didn't answer, seemingly lost for a few seconds until he snapped out of his trance. "Yeah, that's right," he answered, murmuring a little "thanks," loud enough for you to hear.

"It's nothing. I hope you like it, I tried to make them the best I could."

Before they could show you your gift, Grim had enough of this and decided that it was time to move on, practically dragging you outside Scarabia.

"Goodbye guys, maybe we can see each other later— Grim! Stop pulling me! I only have this pair of pants!"

Kalim and Jamil may be very different, but if they had one thing in common as of right now is that they were completely happy to receive such a heartfelt gift.

Kalim’s coconut chocolates match his new friendship bracelet.

Kalim has definitely received plenty of Valentine's chocolates and gifts in equal amounts, even if most of them came from his parents and his thirty siblings. All of this made Kalim believe that celebrating Valentine’s like that was very normal to be honest, it’s more of a lovely Halloween than most things, but that’s fine, it’s Kalim; at least, the platonic side of it. This could explain why it felt kind of odd when he received your gift, but don’t worry! It’s a good type of odd. He knows that he has a crush on you Jamil’s courtesy, so this gave him the slight hope that you might see him more than a friend one day. And even if not, he’s totally okay with it, since he will still be able of being your friend.

Jamil’s chili pepper chocolates match his new talking parrot plushie.

Jamil isn’t very fond of Valentine’s. It is not a surprise that he didn’t receive as many gifts as Kalim, but he never showed his discomfort to not anger his family; after all, he already knew that he just wasn’t made to give and receive something like that, or at least, that was his mentality until you and your adorable present came into the picture. He just thinks you’re a box full of surprises He had absolutely no idea that he was going to fall for you, but just like he never expected to like you, you surprised him with a gift. You gifted him something. MC, let me tell you that if he wasn’t head over heels for you, he now is.

Scarabia is by far the most normal one out the seven dorms. They’re happy, and that’s all. The difference is that one of them shows it and the other doesn’t.

“Did you see that, Jamil?! She said she made them herself!”

“Yes, Kalim, I heard it. You don’t have to yell”

“Oh, right, sorry!”

“...”

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, FIFTH STOP: POMEFIORE

Pomefiore, being the next one on your list, gave you hope. Hope that maybe your original plan will work, and that you would be able to leave quickly enough to continue the rest of your long journey.

But, as you already may have guessed, things can’t be that simple.

“How strange...” You muttered, walking away from the common room after finding it empty. “Where could they be?”

“Nyah! It’s gonna take us forever to find them!” Grim whined, already tired from all the searching. “Can’t we just leave the gifts at their doors?”

“I’m not going to do that, Grim,” you stated, intently searching for your friends. “The whole point of this was to hand them the presents personally, even if it takes me the whole day.” Believe me, MC. It is going to take you the whole day.

“But we can’t just expect them to appear out of nowhere!” He claimed, unaware of the towering figures that stood right behind him after voicing those words.

“Yes, that seems certainly impossible,” Vil said, scaring Grim to the point where he climbed to your arms, hissing at the student. “Oh, did I scare you?” He teased, a bit more playful than usual.

“For your information, ya’ didn’t scare me!” Your companion quickly retorted, and although he tried to come up with an excuse to fight back, you stepped in to prevent a petty argument—certainly a wise decision—.

“So, before Grim can start a discussion here, in the middle of the hallway. Again,” you called out, eyeing him, trying to make him understand the hint. “I would like to give you these.”

“Are these... Gifts?” Epel asked, unsure of why the sudden display of affection. “Why are ya’ giving us this...?”

“Epel, don’t be disrespectful,” Vil corrected, sighing upon seeing that his little apprentice apparently didn’t know what day it was. 

“You see, Monsieur Crabapple. Today is the magnifique holiday called Valentine’s Day!” Rook briefly clarified, proceeding to deliver a monologue embellished with fancy words, listing all the wonderful things that Valentine’s entailed. “How wonderful out of you, dear Trickster, to grace us with these detailed presents!”

The hunter approached you, taking your hands in his as he gazed into your eyes, seemingly aware of the looks he was receiving from his housewarden and dorm fellow.

It wasn’t until Vil coughed that Rook stopped, only chuckling slightly while leaving your hand, not wanting to infuriate his beautiful friend.

“They do seem very elaborate. So, I’m grateful for this present, dear potato,” he thanked, looking at Epel to remind him that he hadn’t thanked you yet.

“Oh! Thank you for these gifts, MC. I’m sorry that I don’t have anything to give you in return...” The boy apologized, making you sigh once again.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” You commented, amused at your friend’s sincere words. “I’m not doing this in exchange for gifts. This is a gift to thank you all for being amazing friends.”

Ouch. Collective friend-zoning. That must’ve hurt.

“Yet, we do have presents for you, ma chérie,” Rook voiced, not wanting you to go before you received their display of affection.

“Indeed. We don’t have them here, but—”

“No!” Grim interrupted, having enough of the whole conversation. “Henchman, it’s getting late and, we still have lots of gifts to deliver!” He said, trying to convince you to get out of Pomefiore before Vil and Rook’s charms trapped you there.

You turned to the students, doing an apologetic bow before explaining. “I’m sorry, he’s right. I can’t stay for much longer. But I appreciate the intention, and I hope to see you later— Grim! Why are you so impatient?!”

“We have to keep moving! So say goodbye to them already!” The little creature demanded, threatening to rip the hem on your pants.

“Okay, okay! Goodbye, guys! Maybe we can meet later!” Was the last thing they heard you say before disappearing behind a corner with your protective monster-cat.

And so, surprised and with rosy cheeks that weren’t part of their makeup, they headed towards the— Oh, it seems like they don’t remember anymore... You’re giving people amnesia, MC.

Vil's chocolate-covered berries match his new bouquet of violets.

Vil has a long history with Valentine’s Day; specifically the gift part of Valentine’s. This man right here has received countless gifts and cards from fans and people around him confessing their love in extravagant—and sometimes expensive—ways. He’s used to this by this point, but his balance point was broken the moment you decided to hand him that present. Dear potato, have you ever thought about being the partner of a renowned celebrity? No...? Well, would you like to? Because Vil takes this detail as your way of expressing your fondness for him. Sure, you said it was because he’s an ‘amazing friend’ (which he obviously is), but that doesn’t mean you can’t see him as more than a friend. After all, Vil’s patience is truly one of his virtues just don’t tell him you have a gift for Neige. You know, only if you want him to live a bit longer.

Rook’s mint chocolates match his new poetry book.

Oh dear, when I say no one at Night Raven College loves Valentine’s as much as Rook does, I’m being completely serious. We’re talking about a holiday that’s all about expressing love, and taking into account that Rook calls himself “le chasseur d’amore...” There’s not much left to piece together, is it. He is mesmerized by this gift; it doesn’t matter if you said it was to appreciate his friendship, he’s focusing on the fact that you, kind and wholehearted you, seemed to put so much effort to make this present that was for him and him only. Oh, beautiful Trickster; I hope you are prepared, for this dedicated hunter is going to be next at your feet expressing his admiration and appreciation for you in a very... ‘Rook manner,’ for the next couple of days... Or weeks. Maybe months, but it’s not like he didn’t do that from before, so that’s fine.

Epel’s chocolate-dipped apple rings match his new apple plushie (with an evil smile, may I add)

Epel isn’t really involved in Valentine’s. His experience with it consists of him occasionally receiving some gifts from his family and carving out some apples with Valentine’s elements on them. Being the only young boy in a village full of elderly people, we can assume that he never really got into touch with the romantic part of the holiday; at least, not until now. And I have to congratulate you, MC; you just made Epel’s face resemble an apple, and all because of your thoughtfulness. Now, does he think that having plushies is manly? No. But will he put your gift aside because of this? No. Not only because it will make you sad, but also because he assumes it wouldn’t be so bad to have an evil apple plushie in his room. You know, at least it’s evil, and that makes it a bit more manly. Sevens Epel, a manly apple-?

Pomefiore are just turning on the passive-aggressive mode. Nothing can stop these boys from feeling superior just because they received a personalized gift (which everyone got, but let’s not ruin their fantasy).

“Isn’t our belle Trickster so endearing. To take her precious time by making all of us these detailed gifts; ah, what a beautiful way to celebrate Valentine’s!”

“Although yours doesn’t seem that detailed, Rook. Are ya’ happy with that pocket diary?”

“I could ask the same to you, Epel. Although I may say that plushie compliments you.”

“Quit that, please...”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Monsieur Crabapple! The magnifique shade of this plushie truly enhances your beauty!”

“I’m not going to ask you anything from today onwards...”

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, SIXTH STOP: IGNIHYDE

Ignihyde had to be the easier dorm to “infiltrate” so far. The housewarden was known for being a programming genius, but also, and most important of all, for staying in his room.

It was a fool-proof plan. Entering Ignihyde, encountering Ortho along the way, and finally, greet Idia at his bedroom Nothing could go wrong.

And this may surprise you, but contrary to all the things that happened to you today, nothing went wrong. In fact, the list of events I just spelled did happen in that order.

After entering Ignihyde, you were greeted with the usual sight of an almost empty living room, saluting the few students that weren’t occupied with winning an intense game of Animal Crossing.

Subsequent to the first stage of your plan, you encountered the youngest Shroud brother while walking towards the oldest, seeing his cheerful face approach you with a welcoming voice.

“Hello, MC! What brings you here today?” Ortho said, instantly noting the large bag behind your bag. “And why are you carrying that bag? Are my brother and you going to study today?”

You giggled at his comment, shaking your head in refusal. “Not exactly. I’m here to gift Idia a Valentine’s present.” You explained, followed by asking if he was in his room.

Ortho stayed silent for a couple seconds, quickly searching for the holiday you just mentioned, and when he knew what it was about... Let’s just say that his expectations of you confessing to Idia (because honestly, at this point he knows his brother isn’t going to, for now, at least) were rising like the sky-high.

“Of course! My brother will be very happy to see you and to receive your awesome present, MC!” The little one answered, taking you by your hand to guide you to Idia’s room.

As soon as he arrived, Ortho knocked on the door, patiently waiting for his brother’s response.

“What is it, Ortho?” Idia asked, lazily opening the door, thinking that Ortho had come up with another plan to hang out with you. Jokes on him, no plan was needed, as you were right in front of him, a wide smile plastered over your face. “MC—!” He blurted out, surprised to see you.

“Hello, Idia,” you exclaimed, assuming that it would be best if you explained the meaning behind your visit. “I know you may be busy, and I don’t intend to take much of your time. I just wanted to give you this,” and thus you gifted the blue haired boy a small blue box, alongside a translucent bag of chocolates.

“Huh...? W-why are you giving me this...?” The boy questioned, only to be smacked with a reality check by remembering all the special side quests he completed regarding the love and friendship’s special day. “Oh. OH—”

In the blink of an eye his hair goes from blue to a bright pink, not giving you enough time to comment about it since he shuts the door just as fast, too embarrassed to pronounce a word other than a small: “thank you.”

“Brother! Are you okay? Your heart rate is going extremely fast!” Ortho voiced, not really helping Idia’s situation don’t tell him that, he’ll get sad.

“Don’t worry, Ortho. I’m pretty sure Idia’s okay. He must’ve been taken aback, that’s all.”

“Yeah, he’s definitely fine and we should definitely go to deliver these last presents,” Grim suggested, already making his way back to the mirror chamber.

“Not so fast, Grim. I have yet to give Ortho his gift.” The mentioned raised an eyebrow, certainly not expecting that.

“A gift? For me?” He uttered while moving his head to the side in curiosity.

“Yeah, for you,” you reiterated, handing him a little box—no chocolates this time because, well, he’s a robot—. “I hope you like it. You can place them wherever you want, and they also got little chains in case you want to bring them with you.”

He stares at the keychains, looking at the similar characteristics between him, his brother, Grim and you; and with a bright smiley face, he exclaims: “thank you, MC! I will make sure to take great care of these!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We have to keep going, if you don’t mind.”

“Goodbye, Ortho. And goodbye, Idia! Hope you like your present too!” You voiced, unsure if he heard you or not.

Oh, and indeed he heard you, it’s just that he’s a little too occupied trying to not die from cuteness overload— Never mind, he just short-circuited.

Idia’s peanut butter chocolates match his new videogame.

Taking into account his past, we can safely say that Idia didn’t really have a lot of experience with Valentine’s, aside from the games, that’s for sure. He never gave or received any chocolates nor gifts, and you know what? He was fine with that; just enjoying his games and not worrying about love and romance at least irl, because this man proclaims himself as an expert when it comes to ships in manga and video games. He was fine, and now he isn’t. His mind is flooded with too many questions, like: why on earth would you give him anything? Is it because of social etiquette or because you wanted to? How did you get your hands on this game? Should he take this as a sign to finally confess his undeniable crush on you—? Okay, he may have gone a little too far with that one. But don’t worry! He is going to do it, it’s just that it might take a bit of time. He’s absolutely going to gift you something back, don’t doubt it. But you may want to wait after the short-circuit passes.

VALENTINE’S DELIVERY, SEVENTH AND FINAL STOP: DIASOMNIA

Now, you knew that Diasomnia was going to be a tough one. Firstly, you were sure there was going to be a lot of shouting (Sebek’s courtesy), followed by Lilia, and possibly Malleus’ teasing. Silver was the only one that didn’t really do much apart from being the most normal being out of the four that’s a compliment, Silver. You make MC’s life a bit easier.

“Okay, Grim,” you started, happy upon seeing that this was the last location. “After this, we can go back to Ramshackle and eat the dinner you were so impatient for. Isn’t that exciting?”

No response.

“Well, I know you’re tired, but I have to thank you for accompanying me today. Even if you were a bit rude and odd, it really means a lot that—” 

“The Great Grim is going to fight all of you...!” He interrupted, mumbling incoherent things while you looked at his sleeping face, not sure when or how he fell asleep.

“I should have guessed that a whole day of walking may end up in this,” you muttered, carefully lifting him up so he could rest in your shoulders, trying to accommodate him the best you could as you made your way towards the Witch of Thorns’ dorm.

If felt strange having Grim by your side and not hearing him chit-chat with his characteristic tone, after all, it’s not like Grim and silence usually got along unless he was sleeping or reprimanded.

Feeling a bit bored, you started to hum softly, slowly strolling to find the garden, where you thought your friends might be.

It didn’t take long for you to encounter them, and they, likewise, didn’t take long to notice you were there. 

Malleus approached you first, a smile spreading across his face upon seeing you. “How delightful it is to see you, Child of Man. What brings you here today?” He asked, unsuspecting of the surprise you’ve prepared for all of them.

“Oh. Don’t tell me the rumors are true,” Lilia voiced, floating behind you to take a peek inside your bag. It seemed like him, unlike the rest of the dorm, was aware of your intentions.

“What rumors...?” You questioned, keeping him from grabbing one of the small boxes sitting at the bottom of the bag. 

He blinked in surprise, followed by a giggle after realising that you had no idea what was being said behind your back. “I wouldn’t like to ruin the surprise. It’s something you may want to express yourself, am I right?”

“Master Lilia! What do you mean by that?” Sebek shouted, prompting you to shush him quickly so Grim wouldn’t wake up. “You dare to quiet me down, human—!”

“Sebek,” Silver intervened, noticing the sleeping being on your shoulders, and thus he pointed it for the green haired boy to see.

“I’m sorry for shushing you, Sebek. It’s just that Grim is asleep and I don’t want to wake him up,” you apologized, hoping that your crocodile friend would try to lower his voice at least a little.

“O-okay, human. But—!” He paused briefly, trying to not raise his voice. “I’m not doing it because of your orders.”

You sighed, thankful for his thoughtfulness, even if he didn’t want to admit it. “Thank you, Sebek.”

Malleus coughed as he eyed his guardian’s red face, wanting to continue the original topic. “Say, Child of Man. You were about to tell us the meaning behind your visit.”

“Oh, that’s right,” you replied, cautiously taking the four remaining gifts to give them to the students. “I wanted to give you something as a Valentine’s Day present. So, I hope you like these details,” you stated, sighing after handing out the gifts, glad that this would be the last parade.

“My, my. I didn’t expect to receive a Valentine’s Day gift until a couple more of years,” Lilia muttered, seemingly happy to see his gift. 

Silver stood silently for a few seconds, quickly realising that he had to thank you, softly expressing his gratitude over your recent action.

Sebek felt in the obligation to ask the purpose of this unexpected act, but since he wasn’t able didn’t want to express it his usual way, he recurred to mumble a small ‘thank you,’ taking you by surprise.

And the last and most dramatic reaction of all had to be given to Malleus. Just as we’ve seen before, he tends to... Overreact a little when it comes to small details like this one; so, in truly dragon-fae fashion, he kneeled before you, took your hand and prepared to say the words he’s been wanting to say for a long time now.

Lilia, however, had to step in, immediately clarifying how Valentine’s Day is also a day express your love for your friends. Less to say that if Malleus had his dragon ears, they would be flopped down like a puppy.

“Well. It seems that your wonderful visit has brought new moments to reminisce about,” the old fae said, trying his best to ease the situation. “We are very grateful for what you’ve gifted us today.”

“I’m happy to see that you’ve liked them,” you voiced, chuckling a bit after witnessing their reactions. “And, although I can’t really stay for much longer, I enjoyed this moment with you.”

You were about to head out after biding them goodbye, only to be stopped by Malleus, who was still a little gloomy for the news he just received. “Do you really have to go now, Child of Man?”

“Unfortunately, I do. It’s already late and Grim might get mad at me if he finds out that he’s not at Ramshackle when he wakes up,” you calmly explained, softly caressing his cheek as you walked away, promising him that you would have more time to spend together tomorrow.

You better keep that promise, MC. Malleus is already too dejected to suffer another deception.

Malleus’ gelato truffles match his new gargoyle keychain.

Malleus’ knows what Valentine’s is, but his knowledge about it is limited to the romantic part of it. Hence why he is about to pursue you, ready to propose, again, and take you to his castle so that you can live a long and happy life together; until Lilia explained him the other side of the holiday, disappointing the dragon fae. Well, excuse him, Lilia, but how was he supposed to know that humans also celebrate their friendship during Valentine’s. He’s frustrated, but also enchanted  in a nutshell, he’s a mess right now. Yes, he’s still quite sad that this wasn’t a confession and that he may have to wait a bit of time before making a move on you, but nonetheless, you just expressed that you care and appreciate him, and that, at least for now, was enough for him.

Lilia’s green tea chocolates match his new bouquet of black and fuchsia roses.

Lilia has witnessed and experienced many Valentine’s days during his life. He probably has enough information to fill an entire encyclopedia about it, maybe including some of his stories as a bonus. Having lived for so long, Lilia finds enjoyment in how humans celebrate their holidays; and Valentine’s wasn’t the exception. He reminisces about his past lovers and confidants, basking in the subtle aroma of his recently acquired bouquet while thinking about all the memories he made along the way. This may sound like something an old man would say, but Lilia truly relishes in the fleeting moments that life graces him with; he most definitely takes delight in spending those moments with you, happy to see that you also enjoy his presence.

Silver’s cashew chocolates match his new deer plushie.

Silver’s pretty much indifferent towards Valentine’s. He doesn’t have time to celebrate these kinds of festivities when he has to make sure his young master isn’t in any danger. But he guesses that once a while won’t hurt... Malleus and Lilia are within his sight, Sebek is right next to him, and he doesn’t have the will to reject your gift. After all, who is he to decline such a selfless act? He gives you a warm smile as his cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink, uttering grateful words until he was too sleepy to continue the conversation. Just as he was slowly falling asleep, he unconsciously hugged his new stuffed plushie, unaware of the future teasing his father would carry out. Well, seeing the bright side of it though: he had an splendid nap and you had another sleeping beauty Silver picture. A win-win situation indeed.

Sebek’s lemon caramel chocolates match his new crocodile and dragon mug.

Sebek wasn’t and still isn’t fond of Valentine’s Day. In fact, he’s not fond of almost any of the holidays that you, mere humans, like to celebrate. However, even if he states that he doesn’t care about your gift and complaints about your display of affection towards his young master, Sebek ends up liking you a little bit more than usual. Don’t be mistaken, human! It’s not because of the cute action you just confer upon him, why would you even think that? He just thinks that a gift like this can be very useful, that’s all! He’s not smitten by your sweet smile, kind and thoughtful self, or the way your eyes shine when you’re happy... Wait, what was he saying? Oh, of course! He’s definitely not smitten by any of those things I just mentioned, so don’t you dare to think that after he gifts you your Valentine’s gift. What? It’s called being polite, you know?

Diasomnia might be the only dorm that doesn’t take down the gifts from the other students. Most likely because they were all a happy and beloved family... And also due to them thinking very highly of their presents. But is something that most people have done at this point, so the first part still stands.

“How come I didn’t know about this...”

“Oh, don’t worry, my prince! For the Prefect most certainly did this with love and effort for all of us!”

“It certainly seems that human put so much care into these...”

“What are you mumbling, Sebek?”

“N-nothing!”

“That’s right. If I gift Child of Man a present deserving of her, I can partake in this celebration with her.”

“What an enlivening idea! This makes the perfect occasion to try out that cookie recipe I got from Jade, kee hee~”

“Father, please don’t.”

INITIAL STOP: RAMSHACKLE

The wood of the door creaking was the only sound that could be heard upon returning to your dorm. Being accustomed to it, you didn’t think of it as you left Grim on the couch, sitting next to him while watching his peaceful face, far away in dreamland.

“Aww, isn’t he the cutest when he isn’t awake?” Brawley commented, appearing out of nowhere as he floated around the little creature.

“So, tell us, MC. How did you Valentine’s journey go?” Conrad asked, anticipating an answer that never came. “MC?”

When the ghosts turned to look at you, all they found was your sleeping form, who couldn’t resist the tiredness after a whole day of walking and searching.

“Poor thing. She must be so exhausted,” Arthur said, dragging a blanket to shield you from the cold weather. “I can’t believe she really took it upon herself to prepare all of those gifts.”

“Right? I haven’t seen anyone so determined to prepare so many boxes and chocolates without expecting something in return,” Brawley added, trying his best to sneak a pillow under your head.

“Well, she may not expect anything in return, but I’m almost completely sure those boys are going to return the favor,” Conrad voiced, placing Grim in a more comfortable spot close to you, careful to not wake him up.

After that, your ghost fellows decided to float around for a bit, talking amongst themselves to guess what the gifts your friends had for you might be, also questioning if they were also thinking of competing not only for your attention, but for your love as well.

THE END~

DON'T REPOST.

EVERY CHARACTER BELONGS TO DISNEY AND YANA TOBOSO, AND I DON'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A Village Raising (1) | Yandere Platonic Twisted Wonderland

“(Y/n) do you know why I called you in here today?”

“...no.”

You knew why you were here that’s why you wouldn’t look up from your sparkly loafers Vil had gifted you. You knew after that look Deuce gave you when Grim told him your secret that you’d get in trouble. 

Crowley rubbed at his chin in frustration, debating if he should summon the entire staff for a manner such as this. Or perhaps enlist the assistance of the fae in Diasomnia but that came with its own problems. Particularly the problem of their recurring petition for guardianship; saying that they were more fit guardians for you. 

“(Y/n), do you remember the fire faeries that keep the school warm in the winter?”

A smile spread on your face as you recalled giving the sticks to the warm faeries.

“Mmmmh!”

“Well there are many other types of faeries that like to live near the school. Like forest faeries, water faeries…princess faeries.”

He watched as your chubby hands wrung together behind your back. Rocking on your feet while looking side to side.

“...Yeah?”

“Yes. And did you know that the faeries will get really upset if their princess is stolen?”

An obviously guilty pout made its way to your face as you sucked on the inside of your cheek. 

“...I didn’t know that…”

“Yes…they cry and then they’ll start attacking students…so if you do see the princess fairy you’ll bring her to me first okay?”

“...But shouldn’t I give her to the faeries? Why you?”

“Just bring her to me, okay (Y/n)?”

“O-okay.”

“You can leave now.”

He cringed at your immediate departure, not oblivious to the hug he would have usually gotten. Resigning to sadly watch as you trotting out of the office on little legs to your monster companion. 

“That kid’s going to be the death of me.”

___________________________________________

“So how’d it go mini-henchman?”

You crossed your arms and puffed your cheeks.

“Horrible! And it's all your fault!”

“Nyeh?! How’s it my fault that you’re keeping-”

Grim was stopped by your pudgy hands on his snout as you looked suspiciously around the courtyard.

“Shhhh don’t tell anyone else! Meeeek!” 

You pulled your hand away wiping the slobber on your uniform as the monster cat stepped away. Pouting with his head away from you, he flicked his tail disapprovingly.

“Nyah! Release me!”

Glaring at him, you turned your head away as you marched to Ramshackle. Grim let his eye follow you before scampering to meet your steps, looking apologetic as you continued to ignore him. 

“Y-you’re not going to keep it are you?”

Continuing to ignore him you dramatically turned your head away, blindly walking until you bumped into somebody’s legs. Wobbling a little a pair of hands kept you steady to look up at your obstacle. Towering and, for many, intimidating was Malleus Draconia or to you and Yuuka: 

“Tsuno-taro?”

“Horns? Here? In the daytime? That’s awfully weird for you.”

“Hello, little one. For your information, Grim, I do exist outside of the night. I am no vampire.”

“Nyeh!? Coulda fooled me.”

“Tsuno-taro!  You have to let me go I have something to do!” 

Emerald eyes glinted with amusement as he lifted you up into his embrace. 

“Oh, you do now?”

“Yes. So you have to let me go.”

“How about I walk you there, I doubt you’ll feel comfortable walking in those.”

“Mmmm okay.” 

Leaning into his hold you relaxed against his shoulder, yawning as quietly as you could. Noticing, the dragon couldn’t help chuckling to himself.

“Are you perhaps tired little one?”

Snapping up you gave him a stern look, scrunching your face up. 

“No.”

“No? Not even a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit!”

“Ah, I see. Then it won’t mean anything if I–”

The prince brought a finger up to the bridge of your little nose bringing it down slowly, repeating the action a few times. Entranced by the way you leaned into his touch and closed your eyes in tandem, he fought the urge to keep tease you more. He only stopped when your hands swatted at him and slapped your own cheeks.

“No! No! I am’nt tired!”

Malleus let out a rumbling laugh which had you puffing your cheeks once more. 

“I am not. If I was tired I wouldn’t be going to play right now.”

“You are? What will you play?”

“It’s w-ah uh a secret! Yeah, it's a secret so I can’t tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Nope. So don’t bother asking me! Oh or uh-Grim either.”

The monster snorted running ahead to no doubt raid the fridge while Yuu was distracted with their guest. Malleus on the other hand was reluctantly setting you down, further intrigued by this secret of yours.

“Are you sure this secret is safe to play with all by yourself?” 

“Yup! I promised Yuu I wouldn’t interrupt your date this time.”

“Date? I was under the impression this was just ‘a hang out’.” You gave a sly smile as you put your hand on your hips. 

“Mmmh-mmmh that’s what you say now. But on the wedding day, I’ll say this is it.” 

Without another word you skipped into the forest, giggling to yourself as you imagined how cool you’d look on their wedding day. Malleus watched you leave turning to Yuu who was wrestling the cat-monster near the open door. 

“Be back before dinner!”

“Okay!” 

Malleus turned sending another glance over his shoulder. Perhaps you’d need someone to watch over you. Someone so innocent and small couldn’t possibly be expected not to attract unwanted attention. 

___________________________________________

 An orange hue decorated the leaves around you as you crawled into your special place. Going deeper into the dark cave you went into the darkness knowing full-well of the light emitted at the end of it.

“Hello, Sparkle-Fairy!” 

Just as you left her the princess fairy you had dubbed Sparkle-fairy was reclining on the makeshift abode you had made. With only the clear glass bowl you borrowed from Trey completing your ensemble. 

You kneeled down, scooting close as rested your head on your arms no doubt caked with mud and dirt. You tilted your head watching as the fairy did the same before turning away from you. Crowley’s words rang in your head and you did what Yuu had told you to do when you messed up. 

“I sorry for keeping you like this…” The fairy perked up. “I just wanted to be friends.”

You removed the glass from around the makeshift enclosure expecting to see the glowing creature fly right away. But instead, the fairy hovered moving closer to your face. The tinkling sound of the fairy’s native tongue rang in your ears, keeping your attention from the other tinkling voices entering the cave. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying…but I’d love to see your home!”

The princess fairy twinkled happily before blowing a glittery dust in your face. You sneezed and rubbed your nose before involuntarily yawning again. 

Of course with as small and as young as you are it’d take a small amount of fairy dust to put you to sleep. Making you perfectly pliable for what the fairies planned to do. Already snoozing, the fairies would have no trouble carrying off on their princess’ orders. That is if it weren’t for Malleus’ trusted guardian. 

“Now now where are you running off to with our little pup?”

Meat Cleaver in hand the retired general was smiling without reaching his eyes. He hoped that with his weapon unsheathed the fairies would have released you in an instant but it seems the princess was insistent on taking you. Who could blame them? A kiddie as sweet as you would have been a lovely find but he wouldn’t let his pup be taken from him.

Some chopped wings should be a good warning. 

He did just that and they settled you on the ground before his feet, twinkling apologizes all the while. In an instant, they were on their way carrying their injured companion along with them. Lilia smiled at your sleeping form cradling you despite your dirt-covered state, he couldn’t help but smirk at the distant glow of green. 

Young fae nowadays don’t seem to know not to mess with a dragon’s treasure. Let alone Night Raven’s as a whole.

“Yahoo, guess who fell fast asleep while making mud pies?”

“Aww thank goodness. It got so dark out I was so worried if it weren’t for you guys—”

“All in a day's work, prefect.”

“Yes, it was no trouble.”

Ah, Malleus has returned. And so soon. He figured he must have been merciful. Or maybe unusually giving.

_______________________________________

“So these are the fairies who tried to take them?”

“Master Malleus said so! You dare doubt him?!”

“Of course not I just figured the lizard would be so worked up he wouldn’t leave any for the rest of us.”

“You were lucky his mood has been immaculate since he’s fulfilling an invitation from the Ramshackle Prefect.”

“Whatever. Now should we pluck their wings or break their legs.”

“Only this once I’ll be following your lead.”

“Hmm alright then, Eyebrows. Let’s get to work.”

[yaksha-lover]

As Lovers Go

Malleus Draconia x Reader

Summary: It may not be as grand as royalty is used to, but you do your best to plan a special night for Malleus on his birthday.

something short i scrambled together for my best boy, happy birthday malleus 🫶🫶

“Admittedly, it took some help from Trey to convince Riddle, but I like to think I did most of the work,” you say, leading Malleus by hand into the garden. “Okay, you can open your eyes.”

He blinks a couple times, but adjusts quickly to the nighttime lighting, surveying the scene. You’re in the Heartslabyul gardens, surrounded by red rose bushes on all sides. You’ve stopped in a small, clear area of grass where you’ve prepared for the night, a checkered blue picnic blanket laid out.

“Surprise! I know it’s not exactly a party, but hopefully my company will be enough to satisfy you…”

“When you’ve had over a hundred birthdays, parties begin to become monotonous. I much prefer your quiet company, tonight.”

You smile at Malleus. Even when the night’s about him, he always finds a way to make you feel special. “I hope you like the spot I chose. I know it must be hard being away from Briar Valley and your grandmother during the school year, so I thought I’d try to bring a little bit of home to you with the roses.”

“Thank you, truly.” Malleus turns to gaze around the garden, suddenly catching your hand in his own, running his thumb over your knuckles. “I do hope I’ll have a chance to show you my garden at home. I promise, nothing compares to the sight. Except for you, perhaps.”

“You’re too much, sometimes,” you giggle.

“If I am, do you not believe it is you who inspires such feelings in me?” Malleus teases.

The two of you take a seat on the blanket, talking and staring up at the stars as the night continues. The moonlight shines down on Malleus, making his dark hair shimmer and his skin glow. He’s never looked so beautiful.

“So, are you ready to open your gift now?”

He gives you a look. “I believe I mentioned no present was necessary. I only wanted your company.”

“I know, I know, but I wanted to do something.”

“You’re far too gentle with me. I suppose I’ll have to indulge you then.”

You grin and pull a gift bag out of your tote, handing it over to him. He settles it in front of him, pulling purple tissue paper out of the bag until his gift is revealed.

Malleus pulls out a white knit hat. He shifts to turn it around in his hands, smoothing over the fabric until his fingers run into a hole, popping out the other side.

“Oh yeah, it has holes. Y’know, for your horns.”

He stares at you in wide-eyed silence for a few moments. You break eye contact when it finally begins to feel a bit awkward.

“I know it’s not much, sorry.” You look down at your feet. “It’s just, Crowley only gives Grim and I enough for groceries and essentials. And Lilia only told me your birthday was coming up a couple weeks ago, so I begged Azul to let me pick up some shifts at the lounge, and long story short, I really only earned enough to buy some yarn. It’s super nice though, I promise! I made sure to pick yarn that-”

You’re cut off when you’re suddenly pulled firmly into a strong chest, arms squeezing you tightly.

“I will treasure it as I have treasured nothing else. Thank you.”

You smile, despite the fact that you can’t breathe well in his intense grip. You pat on his arms gently so Malleus will loosen up a bit.

“I’m glad you like it.” When he pulls away, you turn toward the cooler you’d set out with all the treats you’d prepared for him. “Now, what would you like to try first? I got Trey’s help with preparing the frozen desserts, since I thought you might like to have a variety. Oh, maybe cake first? You haven’t made a wish yet and the clock is ticking!”

“If it pleases you, then I will try the cake.”

“Great, it’s ice cream cake.”

You take it out of the box, laying it in front of Malleus and removing the container’s lid.

“May I inquire as to why a piece is missing?”

“Well…you said you hate entire cakes, so I took out a piece. Now it’s not an entire cake. Hopefully you’re in the mood to share a bit more with me tonight? I find even the sweetest things are best enjoyed with company,” you wink at him.

“Are you sure you won’t become too spoiled with all these indulgences I allow you?” He picks up a fork and takes a bit of cake, but he doesn’t taste it as you expect.

“No, but feel free to keep trying,” you mumble through the mouthful of cake Malleus feeds you. “Wait, I have candles. You have to make your birthday wish before we have anymore.”

You set three candles in the centre of the cake. It would be ridiculous to have a hundred, as much as you wish to be accurate to his age. You light them with a lighter, insisting on singing ‘happy birthday’ to Malleus before finally allowing him to make his wish.

“Blowing out fire with my breath instead of creating it with my breath. How amusing, you’ll have to teach me even more of these human customs.”

“What did you wish for?”

He tilts his head. “Am I mistaken in believing humans have customs that suggest it’s bad luck to ask?”

“No, but I’m nosy, so tell me anyway.” You tug gently on his sleeve.

“I only wished for things to continue as they are.”

“That’s all? You don’t want anything new?”

“What do I have to wish for? Everything I’ve always wanted, the thing I used to wish for each year - is already in front of me.”

The two of you talk until the sun comes up, upon which Malleus carries your snoring form home to Ramshackle, a smile lingering on his face from the previous night.

[v3lvieraven]

𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚, 𝐀𝐜𝐞 𝐱 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌－ 𝖨 𝖺𝖻𝗌𝗈𝗅𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽 <𝟥 (I’ll do part two if anyone wants)

Scenario- alchemy class went wrong when deuce summoned a cauldron and it landed on your leg.

Warnings- Blood, shattered leg, relationship established in Riddles and Leona’s, cursing, Grim being a asshole.

𝖱𝗂𝖽𝖽𝗅𝖾 𝖱𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌

He has been busy a great portion of the day, The Queens rules and schedule absolutely must be followed!Which means he had no idea that you were in the infirmary because of a foolish cauldron summoning.

The only way he found out, was when Duece was absolutely begging Trey not to tell Riddle. He is lucky Cater wasnt there, because he would have definitely recorded this whole encounter for funsies.Riddle was on his way to his Afternoon tea time when he heard Duece’s pleads.He was carrying one of the teacup,s from the set you had gifted him, when it suddenly fell out of his hands when he hears you got hurt, shattering it （just like your leg－)His face contorted into one of anger and worry as he steps into both of their lines of sight.

“What happened?“ his voice boomed,Duece could only tremble under his gaze.Finally he stammered out his silly explanation.

“Off with your head!“ The familiar heart collar appeared on the first years neck.

“Ill take it off once [reader,s] leg is healed“ he didnt leave any room for debate before storming off to his tea party.As soon as it was finished, he rushed off to the infirmary.

His harsh expression softens when he see’s your injured state. He brings his hand up to cup your face as he sits beside you.

“My Rose… would you care to come back to my dorm?” He knew you were not allowed to spend the night in his dorm… but perhaps just this once he could forget that rule for tonight…

But don’t tease him for it. If you do he will absolutely never do this for you again.. empty threat

“My Rose, you may stay with me tonight… Only if you wish of course!… Of course I know it’s against the rules… but… I’ll indulge myself for tonight..”

𝖫𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖺 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗋

His head was already spinning from all of ruggie’s incessant whining,meaning his mood was already sour.his tail thwacks against the tile as he remains in his outstretched body. On top of that, he had not seen you all day,he continues to try and sleep his day away like usual but something is stopping him,he really needs your presence at the moment.

He carefully gets up,his arms stretch like a cats （not surprising at all)while his tail continues to thwack around.

“what a bother“ he mutters quietly before setting his focus on finding you.

You have been limping around all day due to a small accident this morning. When Leona finally finds you, you look as if your about to collapse…mainly because you literally were about to.

He glared at Grim,usually Grim wouldnt care thay much, but he stopped anyways.

“Oi, herbivore.what happened to your leg?“ he can clearly see the cast, and he does not look hsppu about it.

“oh uh, duece summoned a cauldron again“ you explain simply, about to move to catch Grim once more, but you are stopped by Leona hoisting you over his shoulder, he mumbles out annoyed lines of “weak herbivore“ and “dumbass“ Grim was about to follow but with a snap of Leona’s fingers, Ruggie is escorting dragging him back to ramshackle.

Usually in these scenario’s when he would bring you to his dorm, he would throw yoy on the bed before pouncing on top of you with your body weight trapped beneath him. this time was different though, hr gently sets you down onto the bed, you feel the bed dip down next to you as he wraps himself around you carefully.

“what would you do without me“ he said mockingly

But deep down you knew he was worried, his pride obviously not allowing him to say such things out loud.Soon after you fall asleeo, he talks to crowley, convincing manipulating Him into allowing you some days off.Totally not becayse this was an excuse to coddle you and take care of you.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐇𝐞𝐲- 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠? 𝐍𝐨, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬! 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲.“

Ace trappola

He was definitely right next to you when it happened. I mean he’s always with you and deuce so was it really a surprise??

He shrieked when deuce for the third time today, summoned a cauldron. This time though, it smashed your leg, Ace could feel his heart beating out of his chest as he see’s the blood splatter onto the floor with your sobs. He doesn’t even think to use his magic to push the cauldron off (which would probably hurt way less) but instead he uses all of his strength to push it off of you. With the way he’s screaming it made it seem as if he’s the one with the hurt leg.

“Deuce what the fuck is wrong with you!?” Obviously he was furious, deuce just summoned a cauldron on his crushes leg!! He picks you up and runs off to his dorm… instead of the infirmary for some reason.. it’s not his fault ig he’s just panicking.

He finds towels to put under your leg so that your blood doesn’t stain his bed sheets.. priorities right

After he obviously bandaged it, and then he realized he should have probably took you to a nurse or something.. but he wasn’t about to run around campus so instead he asked if one could be sent to his dorm.

Once the nurse PROPERLY assessed the injury and patched it up so that it could actually heal… he was all over you. He definitely just laid on top of you, pressing small kisses to your face as he mumbles under his breath, cursing deuce.

“Mwah, see? All better!” He kissed the leg because kisses make everything better right!? Just gives him more of an excuse to be all over you honestly, he’s loving it.

“That idiot really doesn’t know how to do anything but summon cauldrons does he!?… oh yeah your probably right… maybe I should have given you to a nurse or something… HEY IT WASNT MY FAULT I WAS PANICKING!!”

[returnsandreturns]

Crowley’s teased Aziraphale for centuries about not reading books exclusively because he likes the little crease he gets between his eyebrows when he doesn’t like how Crowley is behaving. He rarely gets to see it these days and it doesn’t show up as much as you’d think with some of the behaving Crowley does but the second he lounges against a shelf and says, “Dunno why you waste your time with all these books when television exists,” he’s sure to catch a glimpse of it. 

“They do the reading for you, angel,” he says. “And there’s–explosions and things. You know, ka-boom.”

He makes a little exploding motion with his hands and Aziraphale levels him with a look that would immediately scare off a mere mortal who just wanted to casually browse in a bookshop with an open sign right on the door. 

“This feels like blasphemy,” he says, “and I won’t have it in my bookshop.” 

“Oh, you let me blaspheme all the time until it’s about books,” Crowley says, trying not to smile too hard when Aziraphale’s glare turns into a pout. 

There’s an inevitability to books, though, with the amount of free time he’s created for himself and the amount of time he spends adjacent to them. He’ll leave the bookshop with paperbacks shoved in his back pocket, hidden by his jacket, always half expecting the angel to catch him as he’s leaving. His reaction would have been so complicated. Stealing is bad but reading is good. That’s the kind of black and white thinking you're taught upstairs. The gray of whether the virtue of reading overrides the sin of stealing is something Aziraphale is good at. A little puzzle that ends with the answer being libraries or politely asking.

The jig is up when Aziraphale happens upon him in the park, sprawled out under a tree with a copy of Tipping the Velvet, so engrossed in it that he doesn’t even notice until Aziraphale is standing over him. 

“Shit,” Crowley says, startled, dropping the book. “Since when do you loom?” 

“Since when do you read?” Aziraphale asks, like he’s just been given the most delightful gift he’s ever received. 

“. . .I steal,” Crowley says, sitting up on his elbows and raising his eyebrows. “From an angel’s bookshop, which is, I assume, doubly a sin. If I happen to glance through my stolen goods, that’s my business.”  

“Crowley,” Aziraphale says, warmly, sitting a shopping bag down before moving to sit next to him. “Are there many paperbacks on my bookshelves?” 

“. . .just the occasional one lying around, I suppose,” Crowley says, suspiciously. 

“And why do you suppose that?” Aziraphale prompts. 

“. . .did you trick me into literacy?” Crowley asks, gasping.

“I merely placed books I thought you might enjoy around for you to make the choice,” Aziraphale says, adorably pleased with himself.

“Well, that’s familiar,” Crowley says, laughing. “You tempted me into literacy.” 

“Do you like this one?” Aziraphale asks, ignoring that and picking up the book, the broken spine immediately healing under his touch.

“I might,” Crowley says, defensively, then groans. “Oh, fuck, I lost my page.” 

“I miracled a bookmark before it hit the ground,” Aziraphale says, handing it back to him, and Crowley flips it open to see a black bookmark embossed with his initials and a lovely snake pattern, laughing.

“Satan help me,” he says, smiling at him, “but I kind of like this side of you. Bit of petty mischief. It’s cute.” 

“. . .could I tempt you into something else, perhaps?” Aziraphale asks, slowly. 

“Lunch?” Crowley asks. 

Instead of answering, Aziraphale reaches out to cup his cheek and kiss him, soft at first but then Crowley kisses him back, trying to hold back the impulses of thousands of years worth of not kissing Aziraphale as Aziraphale presses him down into the grass. 

Of course it was books that finally did it. 

“If I’d taken your suggestion to read all those poetry books you were pushing on me back in the eighteenth century, would you have done this then?” he asks, when they finally take a break. 

“Well, darling, if you must know, they were love poems,” Aziraphale says, despairingly, starting to sit up again until Crowley drags him back on top of him.

“I’ll read any poem you want, angel,” he says, hushed, “just don’t stop.” 

“Dangerous thing to say, darling,” Aziraphale says, kissing him softly on the forehead.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I remember you wrote a thing where Crowley interviews Fellow for a teaching job, can we get a continuation of that? idk where Gidel would fit so yeah sorry

[Referencing this interaction!]

So tell me, do you wanna go?

Every morning was a new opportunity presenting itself in a gift-wrapped box. This morning was, perhaps, the grandest opportunity, the greatest gift, of them all.

From the moment Fellow had woken up, he had been a flurry of movement, almost as fast as the words he often spewed. Buttering toast for two (a luxury for them), packing a small bag of pencils (each of varying length), untangling the knots in Gidel's hair, tying the boy's shoelaces for him. He had also been up late redoing the stitching on his suit, ironing the wrinkles out, and searching for a matching pair of socks for Gidel. The first rule of making a good impression: dress to impress.

Even when they were out the door and rushing to the main school building, Fellow fretted. He smoothed out his shirt, redid his cravat over and over, wiped his glasses more times than he could count. (In fairness, that number still wasn't very high, but it was the sentiment that mattered.)

The imminent shadow of Night Raven College loomed, making him feel small and powerless. Here, dreams were made—and crushed.

Like his had been, once upon a time.

His mind blanked. It had run off and hid, shivering in a dark recess somewhere, wedged between doubt and despair.

He was brought back to earth by a warmth and pressure at his arm. Fellow glance down to find Gidel grasping him and offering an encouraging grin. His jacket and vest were oversized, and his tie sloppy, but he glowed with excitement.

“… You’re right, Giddie. What am I mopin’ around for? It’ll do me no good.” Fellow sighed, banishing his bad thoughts in that breath. “We should be celebrating! Today’s a big day for us. Our new beginning.”

Together, they took the brave first step into the foyer. Down the hallway and to the right, their first stop.

Again, his heart raced. Anxiety and fear surging, despite his efforts to keep them at bay.

Smile at the face of danger. Get tough when the going gets rough. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, he coaxed himself. You can do this. Show those snooty little rich kids what you’re capable of!

“Let’s go…!” Fellow bellowed, seizing Gidel by the shoulders. It’s SHOWTIME!”

They barged in, the door opening with such force that it slammed against the wall. Students startled in their seats.

“M-Myah?!” Grim snapped awake from his nap. “What’s happenin’, am I still asleep or what?!”

Beside him, the Ramshackle Prefect perked up. They waved at Fellow and Gidel, as if they had been expecting them all along, Of course—they had been the one to pass along a strong recommendation to the headmaster.

“Mornin’, teach! Mornin’, new classmate!” they chirped.

Ace groaned, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. This is the guy they hired for the new Life Skills course?”

"H-Hey, don't be rude to the new professor!" Deuce hissed at his dorm mate. “Show some respect!”

Show some respect.

Respect! That’s right, he deserved it. He was among them now—amid the elites, instructing them.

Fellow straightened, marching right up to the podium at the front of the classroom. (Gidel followed him, only to be shooed off and whispered a reminder that he belonged in a desk. He scurried to a free spot in the corner, planting his supplies down.)

“Students!” Fellow announced, rapping his fox-tipped cane on the podium. His voice, loud and proud. “Your attention please!

“Welcome to Life Skills. As the name suggests, this class will focus on practical skills that’ll serve you well in life. I’ll be your instructor. The name’s Fellow, Fellow Honest—but please, please, call me by my first name!”

Deuce’s hand instantly shot up. “S-Sir, isn’t that kind of familiarity improper?!”

“In my classroom, everyone’s an equal. Myself included,” Fellow laughed, tipping his top hat at his bewildered audience. “Let’s have fun together, shall we?”

“Wow,” Deuce murmured raptly, seriously impressed. “The new professor’s so chill.”

Gidel and Yuu clapped excitedly for him. Ace rolled his eyes.

“This is gonna be a long semester.”

[doonarose]

GOAD Writer's Guild presents: A Bathhouse Pretense

CW/TW: Explicit, sex in public, orgy scenes and descriptions of other men having sex, the exhibitionism/voyeurism that goes with that , wet and messy comeplay things, edging, cockwarming.

Summary: Written for the @goodomensafterdark Valentine's Gift Exchange (yes, it's May, I'm so sorry!! Chapter 1 was posted back then but it has been a journey to finish this one up!) For Zaay-zaay who requested top Crowley in a bathhouse with kissing and maybe cockwarming. To wit:

Aziraphale seeks Crowley out in 38 BC Rome, and finds him in a bathhouse which just so happens to be hosting an orgy. Aziraphale is there to discuss upcoming celestial business, Crowley is there for a good time, but when Hastur happens to drop by, it gives them an (admittedly flimsy) excuse to get close, and then closer still.

First time sex in the back corner bath, canon compliant, much edging, feelings and filth.

Word count: 18k, complete!

Thanks: Good lord! Everyone!! Thanks to Fuzzygoblinoid for the beautiful header art!

Thanks enormously to my three betas on the second chapter: Likeafuckingninja, Gingercat and Natyu0815. Ninja who held my hand for weeks after falling off the writing horse and trying to clamber back on, Natyu for the cheerleading, and Ginger for the very last minute swoop in with some cracker ideas! Thanks also to Fishey_me and FuzzyGoblin for their insanely quick beta on the first chapter!

Thanks also to all the people in the GOAD Writer's Guild chat who have listened to my whining about trying to write part two for literal months! And thanks again to Zaay-zaay for a fantastic prompt that took me a little outside my comfort zone and then being insanely chill about overly long porn and a very long delay!

Excerpt: In the end, he recognises Crowley by his laugh: low and gravelly, but genuine. His hair’s much darker when it’s wet. He’s close to the back edge of the second bath, the hotter one, Aziraphale guesses, judging by the slick of steam shimmering over the liquid. He’s slid down on a low submerged bench so that the water’s lapping at his shoulders.

It suddenly occurs to Aziraphale that he could have found Crowley here in flagrante delicto – plenty of others are. The thought crosses his mind like it’s been scratching to get out of a sealed box, and he only has a moment to unpack it, turn it over, and then push it back somewhere locked away.

Thankfully, Crowley’s being entertained more simply, by a man lying flat on his belly across the floor behind him, a towel covering his buttocks, as he leans close to Crowley’s ear and speaks in hushed whispers. He’s got his fingertips buried in Crowley’s dark hair, half of it amassed in a bun and the rest hanging loose to his shoulders, as he massages Crowley’s scalp. The interloper has white blonde hair drawn back in long curls tied off at the nape of his neck, he looks middle-aged, stocky, the slopes of his back and arse broad and supple.

The blonde says something else that makes Crowley tip his head back and laugh, and the man tightens his fingers in Crowley’s hair, tipping his face back further so he can lean forward and over him, bite at the angle of his jaw from above and then draw back to dangle a bunch of green grapes over his lips.

Crowley plucks one with his teeth and slides back into the water, so that it laps at his chin as he chews. He sees Aziraphale suddenly, surprise making his bright yellow eyes go wide and then his lips smile around the last of the grape juice and he arches an eyebrow.

“Aziraphale!” he says, voice warm and drawled as though the baths and whatever else he’s been up to here have him relaxed, perhaps even sated.

To continue reading head on over to AO3!

[drconstellation]

Aziraphale-Beelzebub Parallels

Aziraphale's Edinburgh Journey: Part 2

I've already written a series on how Crowley and Gabriel act as parallels and foils to each other in S2. Their other halves - their partners - also act as each other's parallels. I mentioned this briefly in the second post in that series, but here we need to expand on this.

We also need to talk about Maggie.

I think most people identify that there is good case for a many parallels between Aziraphale and Maggie as well. But when you consider Aziraphale-Beelzebub-Maggie together in a character triangle, Maggie suddenly starts to make a lot more sense. And I believe there is one more peculiar element thrown in that she is reflecting back to us as well about Aziraphale that has made her particularly hard to understand on top of all that.

But let's look at the Aziraphale-Beelzebub related parallels first.

They hold the highest ranking position

Beezlebub holds the highest ranking position in Hell under Satan, as the Grand Duke. They leave a vacancy at the end of the series, that we are yet to see filled.

For most of S2 the Supreme Archangel is missing - and it is only right at the end that we see Aziraphale step up and accept the offered role.

Two things to mention here:

One might argue that the Metatron is higher in ranking than the Supreme Archangel, but for purposes of this discussion he doesn't seem to have much to do with the day-to-day running of things like the Supreme Archangel would. Gabriel was also the one who appeared on the tarmac at Tadfield Airbase opposite Beelzebub when things weren't going to plan in S1.

Secondly, this is where I would like to start introducing the concept that we are being shown Aziraphale's future story in S2. Such as Aziraphale's future role as Supreme Archangel, however long he holds on to it.

I don't know how difficult it will be to demonstrate this as we go along from here, but I'm going to try and point out places where I think we are being shown glimpses of the future - foreshadowing - and a lot of them come through Maggie. Not all, though, there are exceptions, but we'll discuss them in due course. Such as in the next parallel.

They need words of affirmation

Crowley isn't the most loquacious character but he's not shy of boosting his angel's ego when it's needed. Whether it's encouraging Aziraphale to go big on stage in 1941 or supporting his detective efforts in Edinburgh Crowley is still going to put in a good word or two for Aziraphale's sake.

AZIRAPHALE: [over phone]: I think I've found some clues. And do you remember the statue of Gabriel in the graveyard in Edinburgh? I'm looking at it now. CROWLEY: Mmm, good job. AZIRAPHALE: Oh, do you really think so?

We know Beelzebub needs words of affirmation as well because they ask Demon Josh this:

BEELZEBUB: Do you ever think, wouldn't it just be nice if someone told you what a good job you're doing? DEMON JOSH: In hell? BEELZEBUB: Yeah.

Hang on, just a minute...Demon Josh...?

The demon who appears to be acting as the Personal Assistant/Secretary to the Grand Duke of Hell?

There is an old thread that points out that Greasy Johnson's name is basically another form of Jesus Christ. The TL:DR version is that Joshua aka Oily Josh is another form of Jesus.

So Beelzebub has Demon Jesus as her assistant.

Remember I was trying to tell you we are seeing future echoes of Aziraphale's story in S3 here? Jesus as the right hand of the Supreme Archangel, perhaps?

They give gifts

A S1 crossover, Beelzebub gives Gabriel the Tardis-like fly storage container, and Aziraphale gives Crowley the thermos of holy water in 1967 to stop the crazy caper he was planning to steal some. Both acts were done unprompted at the time.

They enjoy music

We've seen Aziraphale with his phonograph in action several times, and in S2E1 we see him in the midst of listening to the Shostakovitch records he got from Maggie when the arrival of Gabriel interrupts him.

We learn Beelzebub also has an ear for a good tune when they mention they like the song they hear in the American bar during the recap scenes of their meetings with Gabriel in S2E6.

They make an offer of "betterment" to Crowley

Beelzebub's offer to Crowley that he could be a Duke of Hell if he finds Gabriel for them, all while he is lounging across the two horned thrones in S2E1, is widely seen as a prominent piece of foreshadowing for S3.

Really, the only question should be is will that be just a plain Duke or will he somehow end up in the Grand Duke of Hell position opposite of Aziraphale?

Aziraphale also made an offer to Crowley - to restore him to angelic status.

At the time, neither offer was accepted with any enthusiasm - especially the latter.

They have a date at Gabriel's statue

I have pointed out elsewhere that this is a triple-parallel with a shot from Before the Beginning, but then I remembered that the parallel with Aziraphale looking jealously at angel!Crowley was written after this date pair with Gabriel's statue.

I intend to talk about the significance of the statue in Part 4: Judgement Day, as it makes a bridge between all three seasons and it needs some thorough and lengthy discussion around it.

They go to the pub

This is another triple-parallel between the two pairs. (I think @kayleefansposts first brought this up but I can't find the post it comes from now, even though it wasn't that long ago.)

First, they both meet in a cafe:

Then they meet in a pub:

And lastly, they meet - well, lets say with alcohol on the table and an option of food?

Their partners make a reference to the absurd creativity of humanity

For some time I wondered why when Crowley came back from the pub with Aziraphale, he plucked the Jane Austen off the shelf and shouted that inane line at humanity: "You people, I will never get the hang of you lot."

Eventually I realized it was a parallel moment to when just before Gabriel miracles the jukebox in the Resurrectionist to play Every Day the first time.

GABRIEL: What's that? BARTENDER: A classic 1960s jukebox. You don't see many of them these days. You just put your money in and tell it what you want to hear. GABRIEL: Oh… You people. Amazing. [hands over money] [miracles] Ha!

Both incidences are inspired by their partners - Aziraphale inspires Crowley to look for Austen's novels and Gabriel miracles the jukebox to play the music that Beelzebub likes.

Their partners accidentally leave them on their own

Crowley was only going to take the human shopkeepers to safety, then return - but he got sidetracked with Muriel all the way up to Heaven. Thinking he would be back soon, Aziraphale didn't plan very far ahead, and that eventually led to a problem - and a long, anxious wait for the demon's return.

On his way out of Heaven, Gabriel was on his way to Hell and Beelzebub - we presume. But as soon as he put himself in the fly, he forgot, and headed to the next most memorable location in his remaining working neurons, which happened to be on Earth. Beelzebub was left wondering where he was - and very alone down there in Hell while their minions were out searching for him. @noneorother shows what happens to the thrones while they wait.

So, about Maggie, then...

Understanding Aziraphale and Beelzebub as a parallel pair helps us to understand Maggie a little better, as Maggie is actually a mix of the two characters, reflecting both of them back at the same time. I think that is why she sometimes seems like an angel and a demon at the same time - because she actually is!

I believe this would also explain the "ugrency" spelling mistake, as well as putting an emphasis on the word urgency itself for us. What is becoming urgent?

For example, Maggie always wears a combination of colours from both characters. Here we can Maggie is wearing Beelzebub's signature colours of orange and light blue, but with a white background as the angelic component.

At the ball, she wears a blue blouse - blue is a colour associated with Heaven - but its a dark, demonic shade of blue.

She tries to give a gift to Nina, that doesn't quite work, but the thought and effort is there. She's very forgiving. And she says she says she'll still be there when Nina is ready to start seeing her again; she's reflecting the future Aziraphale to us.

She doesn't want to leave the scene of danger with Crowley when its offered (sounds familiar, doesn't it? Let's go to Alpha Centauri - No! I Can't!)

She's done with being scared, she's ready to stand up and be brave and fight.

She doesn't want to leave Aziraphale on his own (even though Aziraphale still has faith Crowley will turn up any minute now and have a plan - !!) She comes up with ideas on how to fight back. This is someone who steps forward and takes control. These all look like future echoes and set-ups for parallels in S3 to me.

There's another line that no one ever talks about that I've always thought was a foreshadowing line that Crowley says to Nina:

NINA: He's never hosted a meeting, ever. Why the change of heart? CROWLEY: He's unpredictable. He's discovered his civic obligations.

The parallel to this comes from Maggie, when Crowley goes to tell her its time for the meeting/Ball, she says she never misses a meeting. If that's not part of fulfilling your "civic obligations" I don't know what is.

If there was one aspect of Beelzebub I would perhaps just mention here briefly, but not discussing at length because I want to do it elsewhere again as well, is that they twice show restraint of their power and authority - they don't pull Crowley in for punishment as a traitor, even though they could (they pulled him down to Hell for a chat pretty easily) and they don't bother to rip out Demon Josh's tongue and send him to the dung heaps that day for being talkative and annoying, even though we get the impression it happens on a regular basis. In contrast, Aziraphale and Maggie both step up a bit and take some authority on themselves towards the end.

The lists above are not exhaustive of all the parallels between the three characters, but I hope it helps to get you started in thinking about them in a different way to how you might have been.

Next we try to tie the past<-present->future parallels together as we start getting our hands dirty.

The other posts in this series can be found here:

Part 1: Detective Aziraphale Part 3: Stocktaking in the Basement Part 4: Judgement Day Part 5: I Know Where I'm Going

[hretoprvdthepltnx]

Hihi !! Before i request I just love your writing so much and I couldn’t resist to request this!!

Could I request a teen! Reader (angel) who’s sees crowley & aziraphale as their parental figures who is trying to make something nice for them?

The reader is super silly and innocent so like the stuff they make look like something else 💀

Handmade

Ineffable Husbands x teen!angel!reader

Summary: Y/n wants to do something special for their favorite angel/demon duo. So, they try their ethereal hand at the human art of crafting.

Content: y/n uses they/them pronouns, improper use of miracles,

Note: Anon, you're such an absolute sweetheart. I appreciate you so much. Unfortunately, I didn't realize what you meant by 'something else' until after but hopefully you still enjoy the fic.

Rating: 14+ || 500+ w.

Gifts were important. Gifts were a way of expressing profound love for an individual, at least that is what Aziraphale had taught you. Gifts meant a lot; they were a language all their own. Gifts meant I love you.

Gifts were hard.

You stared at the heaping pile of crafting utensils Maggie from the record shop had leant you. There were a lot of options and she had even been kind enough to make you a list of ideas, the only problem was that none of it seemed quite right for Aziraphale and Crowley.

You stared at the felt and the streamers and silently willed yourself to come up with an idea, but nothing happened. Sighing, you sat back with your shoulders pressing against the side of Aziraphale's desk. It was lucky that they were out, the sight of you sitting on the floor surrounded by confetti might raise an alarm. Or perhaps not, you were prone to floor sitting.

You tossed your head back against the leg of the table and the telephone jingled with the bang. Perhaps you should call her and ask for her help, but no, this was your idea, and it would make it even more special if you did it yourself. There had to be something you could make.

Your eyes drifted to a stray bottle of silver glitter and stayed there, staring with such mindless intensity it was a miracle the tension didn't cause the bottle to bust. Miracles. You could use a little miracle of your own right about now.

"Wait," you sat up too quickly, dizzying yourself, and snatched up the little plastic bottle of glitter. "If it's only a small miracle, and one for good, then I can't possibly get in trouble for it. And it's still like I'm making it myself, because I am." A smile stretched wide across your face, and you turned to the plant in the corner, "This is going to be perfect."

Hours later, when Crowley and Aziraphale arrived back at the bookshop, there was a notable difference to the building. That being because the entire inside of the bookshop had turned into a Victorian style ballroom. "Right, well...what's all this?" You beamed at the demon from where you stood in the center of the large room. "Suprise! It's a gift!"

Aziraphale's face went from something sad - which you had luckily missed - to something proud and beaming. "A gift, yes! And, oh, how wonderful!" Crowley didn't look quite as convinced. However, he perked up quite notably when the record player you had been fiddling with started to play Queen's Somebody to Love. You offered a hand to both fellow angel and the demon in front of you, "Care to dance?"

"Why certainly!" Aziraphale answered for the both of them, whatever complaint Crowley had been about to give died in his throat as he was yanked along. As you danced, you made a mental note to thank Maggie for the record next time you saw her. Perhaps you might even thank her with a gift.

|| masterlist || navigation ||

story by hretoprvdthepltnx©

Ineffable Husbands/Good Omens copyrighted by Neil Gaiman©

[humbledragon669]

S2E1 - The Arrival Write Up P6 - the Present Day from Crowley’s entry to the book shop to his departure from it

Alright, let’s get stuck in – we have an ineffable divorce (of sorts) coming up in this section. Before we get to that though, let’s drop in on our new characters. There are a couple of things I would note about this scene in the coffee shop, and the first is about the soundtrack (shock horror, I know). It’s pretty tricky to say for sure, but it sounds like there’s a lack of background music playing as Maggie enters the café. That changes following Nina’s comment about her “charming personality” – you can just about hear a string arrangement in the background at this point. I’ve tried really hard to identify the song but failed miserably - it’s just not prominent enough, and I can’t hear a long enough phrase to get a grasp on it. I’m pretty grumpy about that if I’m honest, because it means I can’t even say for sure whether it’s just coincidence that the music appears to start playing only after Maggie enters the shop or not (after all, perhaps this is just a CD that happened to be between tracks as she comes through the door). If it’s not coincidental, that would give us another parallel between these two characters and our hero couple, particularly with the music in the previous coffee shop scene being so poignant. As it is, I’m just going to have to leave that as an open-ended question until/unless somebody has better hearing/sound editing skills that I do, and can actually identify the track.

Talking of potential parallels, I find it quite interesting to see the way that neither Nina or Maggie seem to be able to pick up on the cues that the other one gives them. Nina in particular really sucks at picking up the subtext that Maggie is virtually screaming at her, but it is a two-way street. And where else do we see this? Crowley and Aziraphale of course – their inability to “get the hint” from each other is something we’ve seen all throughout both the chronological and release timelines. We’ll see quite a few more parallels between the two couples as season 2 progresses, but I think this is one of the more subtle ones.

The last thing I wanted to say about this scene is going to be a bit more Nina-bashing I’m afraid. Let’s be clear – Maggie has brought this woman an incredibly thoughtful gift. How is that thoughtfulness rewarded? With a look that could sour milk.

And if the look wasn’t enough, the disdainful tone would be enough to finish the job. Honestly, is a simple “thank you” that hard? She makes Maggie feel so bad that she apologises to Nina for bringing her a gift! That one must really have stung. I don’t know if there’s maybe some sort of coded subtext here about consent; if that’s the case, the connotations and irony behind it make my head spin a bit so I think I’ll just stick with my original evaluation that Nina isn’t really that likeable (don’t worry, I will change my mind a bit later!).

Alright, time to get into the weeds! There are two things I noticed about the setting up of the scene in the bookshop, neatly summed up in the following shot:

So first off, we see Crowley removing his glasses as soon as he enters the shop, which speaks volumes about how comfortable he is in this setting. And not only does he remove them, but the way that he places them on the statue would suggest that this is something he does A LOT. I don’t think it’s been confirmed (more that it’s one of those things the fandom takes as cannon), but I like the thinking that the horse statue has been deliberately left or placed there as a convenient stand for Crowley to leave his glasses. It feels right – the demon doesn’t stop to look around for somewhere to put them, it’s almost reflex. And ultimately he doesn’t actually need to “place” them anywhere; he could have put them in his pocket, and just discarded them on one of the surfaces. Nah, the way he deals with his glasses here feels almost like muscle memory.

The second thing about this shot is to do with those damn Eccles cakes. Remember in the last part of the write up I waffled on about how I think Aziraphale orders those sweet treats not for himself but to give to Crowley as a peace offering? Well, here’s another piece of evidence to add to that theory, because he’s placed the plate of cakes (untouched I might add) in front of the statue where he then homes his glasses. And why do I think this is important? Because if he was just holding on to them for Aziraphale while the angel fumbled with his keys, he would probably have tried to give them back to him, or at least put them somewhere in the bookshop that was more Aziraphale’s than his, and this table is clearly “his” because that’s where his little horsey sunglasses stand lives. If that seems to be a bit flimsy as far as evidence goes, I’m not done yet – we’ll be back in a little while.

This next gif has been discussed by a ridiculous number of people, so I’m not going to dwell on it too much, but it would be remiss of me not to remark on it at all so here goes.

MARRIED. THIS PAIR ARE MARRIED. “Do we know a Jim”, honestly. I rest my case your honour (I don’t, there’s plenty more to talk about in this season that lends weight to the theory that Crowley and Aziraphale are already romantically involved at this point, and have been for quite some time).

Side note: how adorable is Aziraphale’s face as he prepares for impact:

Doesn’t it just make you want to go and squeeze his little cheeks and ruffle his hair? No? Just me? Probably not to be fair.

The exchange that follows is the first time in this season that I did a proper belly laugh when I first watched it (and it still makes me laugh to this day). The comic delivery here is so skilful, it’s just an absolute delight to watch. Can’t forget that soundtrack though, it’s beautifully pieced together, and adds so much to the scene. Also the camera work. And the lighting (with the shafts of light that fall through the window onto the horse statue, highlighting the fact that Crowley must be feeling incredibly exposed at this point). Just all of it really. So now that I’ve waxed lyrical about it as a whole, I have a few little things to say about some of the individual elements.

I made some comments about Aziraphale’s reaction to Gabriel showing up on his doorstep which brokered some discussion (which I was very pleased about – please don’t stop!) because the general consensus seems to be that Aziraphale is frightened of his former boss during that scene, and I don’t particularly get that vibe. I do here with Crowley. I mean, it’s pretty impossible not to, isn’t it? Crowley is absolutely terrified. And I think what’s worth bearing in mind that he has every right to be – after all, he’s the one with the memories from Heaven (this will be explicitly stated later in the season, but perhaps it’s something that is easy to forget at this point). He knows exactly how cold and ruthless that archangel can be. And maybe this is nothing, just the result of momentum as Crowley tries to put as much distance between himself and Gabriel/Jim as possible, but does this single frame look like he throws his arm up to protect Aziraphale?

I wrote that as if I was asking a question to which I wasn’t 100% sure of the answer already. Of course he’s trying to protect Aziraphale – see previous point about him knowing Gabriel’s true nature. There’s also this little gem:

Check out Crowley’s left shoulder (his left, not yours). If this is deliberate, it’s a stroke of absolute genius. It’s the tip of the wing from the cherub statue on the table behind him. It almost looks like it’s growing out from Crowley’s shoulder to shield Aziraphale. I don’t even feel like this is a stretch, it feels perfect (and I am more than a little bit pleased that I picked up on it). There’s really no need to worry though – the figure before him is anything but threatening. It took me a minute to realise why this shot of Jim/Gabriel looked familiar, and then it hit me:

We won’t talk about what happens in the film after Puss drops the “cute eyes” act.

There is something going on in this scene that I feel I have missed up to this point, and the only reason the penny has dropped now is because of this expression on Aziraphale’s face:

There’s something almost pleading about it. Like he doesn’t want to do what’s being asked of him and is trying to get somebody else to do it for him. Or more accurately, like he’s asking someone to rescue him. *huge clanging noise of a penny dropping* I can’t believe I haven’t thought about this scene in these terms before. The pair of them all but spell it out for us in the coffee shop when Crowley asks Aziraphale if the situation in the book shop is something he can “help” with (i.e. something he can rescue the angel from), garnering a desperate but silent nod from the angel. Here’s the funny thing about that dynamic now though – at this point Crowley knows he’s cornered.

He can’t very well walk out now, can he? He offered to help, something which he’s been doing for centuries without ever asking, or needing to be asked. How could he possibly abandon the rescue mission that he has actually signed up for already? And how else could he have expressed his intense annoyance at being tricked into this with anything other than with a growl? Maybe that’s what Aziraphale was angling for the whole time – personally I would be getting into trouble all the time if it meant being growled at by Crowley…

Easter egg time! At least I think it’s an Easter egg:

Jim’s yellow feather duster is a pretty close match to the one Freddie Mercury uses in the video for “I Want to Break Free”, which has some very fitting lyrics for Gabriel’s situation. What a fabulous Queen parallel to sneak in for the eagle-eyed! I will confess that I didn’t spot this one on my own - @noneother wrote a lovely post about it here.

Let’s just take a quick look at Aziraphale’s apparent thought process at this point:

That looks like a pretty confused angel to me. As in, he’s really not sure why Crowley has reacted in such an extreme manner to Gabriel’s appearance. And going back to what I said earlier about the memories that Crowley has of his last interactions with the archangel, that would make sense, particularly if he has never shared those memories with Aziraphale. If that’s the case, it might go some way to explain why he can’t understand Crowley’s emotional state, or his staunch refusal to do anything other than disassociate themselves with Gabriel completely. What it also shows though is that Aziraphale has already made up his mind that the right thing to do is help Gabriel, which will become all the more apparent in the upcoming scene. What also becomes apparent is that if he was afraid of Gabriel when his arrived on his doorstep, that is very much not the case anymore. He does appear to give some quarter to Crowley when the demon manages to communicate exactly why it is that he feels so strongly though; you can see it in the little head movement and on his face:

Quick observation here, and again this might be nothing, but doesn’t the shape of that the dressing screen behind Aziraphale look familiar?

They look a bit like wings, don’t they? I only caught this whilst I was writing this, and it could be a coincidence (I doubt it), but let’s just say that it isn’t for a minute – what would that say about Aziraphale’s frame of mind here? That at this point in time he feels very close to his angelic origins? It would explain his somewhat blind desire to help Gabriel – helping someone in need is technically the “right” thing to do after all. Coincidence or not, there’s something else of interest in Crowley’s impassioned speech:

CROWLEY: This is the Supreme Archangel of all Heaven, your former boss, who tried very hard to cast you into Hellfire and destroy you. He is not our friend.

Everything that Crowley identifies as part of Gabriel’s character relates to Aziraphale (former workplace, former boss, former offences against the angel) but all of those things inherently mean that Gabriel cannot possibly be a candidate to be their friend. Not Aziraphale’s friend. Their friend. This is protective Crowley in all his glory. But it got me thinking to about the use of the collection pronouns in this scene in general – I’ve summarised below to make it a bit easier to understand.

So firstly, Crowley uses those collective pronouns much more freely and readily than Aziraphale does. That is partly because he actually says a lot more than the angel in general in this scene, but personally I also think it speaks largely to his primary motive here, and that is the preservation of life as he knows it, which largely centres around Aziraphale. On the other hand, the angel’s primary motive in this scene appears to be a desire to do the “right” thing, never mind the cost, clearly wanting to employ that forgiveness he claims to be so good at. His use of the collective pronouns is reserved for the more manipulative aspects of his emotional scale – pleading and indignation.

I think it’s interesting that we see Crowley consciously switch to the use of singular pronouns after Aziraphale tries to get him on side by telling him about Gabriel’s needs. A lot of people would see this as being somewhat spiteful, a way to get what he wants, but I think it’s more than that – he’s trying to tell Aziraphale that his needs aren’t being met, and that he’s angry that the needs of another being are being considered so intricately. Let’s put that a bit more succinctly – Aziraphale is choosing to put another being’s needs before Crowley’s. And that particular being has a history of being nothing less than vile to both of them, especially Aziraphale. In true Aziracrow style though the angel misses his cue, only hearing the bit in the sentence where his involvement in Crowley’s life is seemingly dismissed so easily. It’s really not dismissed that simply though – look at how difficult Crowley finds it to say just how much his current situation means to him:

See the little shuddering breath he takes before he says “peaceful”? Or maybe the stuttering hand movement that goes with it? It makes me wonder if there was another word he really wanted to say here but had to stop himself from saying it, forcing himself to choose another one. And then there’s the use of the word “here” at the end of the sentence. Does he mean Earth? London? Personally I think it’s a little more localised than that – I think “here” means Aziraphale’s bookshop. I don’t think I’m the only one that thinks that either – look at the disbelief on the angel’s face as he tries to claim their collective efforts back:

And from here, it really starts to descend into madness. Honestly, I think it’s Crowley that actually starts it – his response to Aziraphale trying to claw back their togetherness is to subtextually accuse the angel of actually working against him. Well done, Crowley, you really flipped Aziraphale’s switch there, and he’s wearing the face to prove it.

Look at that jaw: this angel has made his decision people – if the demon wants to be that spiteful, he can do it somewhere else. But he doesn’t just tell Crowley to leave, does he? He accuses him of failing to fulfil his role as the rescuer, the protector.

And he doesn’t just accuse him of failing, he intimates that it’s something Crowley is actively choosing to do. You can see Aziraphale knows how badly (and probably how hurtful) his words are in two places – the first is right before he says them:

The other is in the middle of the sentence where he tells Crowley to leave – he takes a shuddering breath of his own that you can hear more than see. Honestly, I find it a little heartbreaking. Not as heartbreaking as the look on Crowley’s face after Aziraphale has uttered his ultimatum though.

Oof, that expression hits me hard. There’s so much here that isn’t being said. The slight recoil after Aziraphale finishes speaking, the half gulp he takes before he speaks, the hand gesture- THE HAND GESTURE PEOPLE. The one that indicates there is an “us” involved in this conversation.

And let’s not forget the line.

CROWLEY: Oh really. This is just- this is how you wanna do it?

That feels like such a death-toll of a line to me. The subtext feels like he’s asking Aziraphale if this is how he wants the relationship to flounder. Thank Somebody that Aziraphale doesn’t leave him hanging for an answer, because I think this that would break me, and thank Somebody else that when he does reply, his true feelings are painfully apparent.

And it’s not just his face leaking emotions here – let’s look at his instinctive choice of words:

AZIRAPHALE: I would love you to help me.

Not “I would lovefor you to help me”, not “I’m asking you to help me”, or “I’d like you to help me”. Not even a stubborn “I want you to help me”. No, he says “I would love you to help me”. He’s said too much. Crowley’s expression tells him as much.

For once it seems like he gets the message too, because he changes his phrasing:

AZIRAPHALE: I am asking you to help me take care of him.

Because you never know who could be watching or listening do you? After all, Gabriel could be right outside the door listening in. I feel like Crowley is on the verge of caving here, desperate though he is for the angel to hear his frightened pleas, but he’s not given enough time. Why doesn’t Aziraphale know by now that if you push this demon too hard and too fast, he’s going to run? There’s even a noise in the soundtrack here that sounds like a snake hissing – I don’t know if that was the intention, but it definitely gives me the sense that this is Crowley reverting to his expected demonic traits.

Right, final time I’m going to talk about this, I promise – we’re going back to the Eccles cakes.

There they are, front and centre of the shot as Crowley leaves the bookshop. They are in fact the only things totally in focus in that shot. We’ll see Crowley make a conscious effort to retrieve his glasses from the horse statue, but the Eccles cakes will stay there, abandoned and untouched. This was actually the shot that made my mind up about these – Aziraphale got them for Crowley. He was supposed to eat them and be all calm about the matter. But of course he didn’t – he probably thought he was going to get to watch his angel eating them later that day as a reward for his playing the knight in shining armour. I’m kind of glad he didn’t eat them to be honest, otherwise we might never have gotten to see the Apology Dance…

That feels like a good place to stop for this part. It has taken me way too long to get through this small section, but I have to say I was kind of expecting it – there’s always so much to say about the angsty scenes in this show, and what with this being the first episode of the second season, it was also going to have a bunch of narrative set-up to talk about too. It’s interesting that I’ve already written more words for this episode than the most words I wrote for any single episode in season one, and I’m only about two thirds of the way through. My methods are either getting more refined or I’m waffling far too much – please do tell me if you think it’s the latter, because I’m really enjoying this journey with you all and I don’t want you to be bored!

So with that, and as always, questions, comments, discussion: always welcome. See you for the next one!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Leona, Vil, Azul, Jade, Floyd

Using half snow leopard fae, since growing up they know her secret being a half fae and what's more a mix breed along with her insecurity for being magically weak even being with

Fully knowing she been researching of why she is magically weak in the first place, until they made her laugh in pure happiness of a simple gesture they did that she wasn't aware that the plants around them went to full bloom and the surrounding became warm as if it's spring as she smiled at them and said " despite you being bit stubborn and a goof, you seem to make me feel happy love "

Bonus what will Malleus be when he witnessed that happened? Just out of curiosity

Make Me Laugh | Snow Leopard Crewel Daughter Reader x Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Well for one it isn’t particularly a secret 

Its just that you’ve shown interest in it now that you’ve matured

But that has been squashed and sullied by the horrid Diasomnia group

She has no insecurity, so she says 

She has no pain, so she says 

And she’s not exactly sharing with anybody 

Even her childhood friends harem

Anything known about your emotions is subtext

And even then its buried under your…heavy personality

“You want me to laugh? Hmmm then perhaps if you poisoned that student with an herb that transforms his luscious locks into prickly spines, I’d laugh.”

Her joy is birthed at the suffering of her enemies

Or those beneath her

Or Crowley

Honestly anyone’s pain is her serotonin:

Leona Kingscholar

Delivers that if he feels like it

He delights in your laughter no matter how crewel it can be 

But he also enjoys you snide remarks as you complain about whatever

He doesn’t care about your fae heritage or your power level

You’re just his (Y/n)

And he knows best how to tell you to stop 

When you’re boiling with rage

“Take a breather, its not as though the truth is leaving anytime soon.”

“What do you mean by that?!”

“Your DNA (Y/n) its not the end of the world as long as you’re here so relax. Better yet sleep.”

And if you need him to scar a couple kids its worth your laughter

Vil Schoenheit

“That’s just like you,(Y/n). Well we are having a dance class soon surely you’ll be pleased to put your input.”

If he’s the queen of vanity and beauty, your the king of crewelty 

He doesn’t mind just letting you run amok 

Especially if it keeps his underlings keeping away from you

And your power means nothing to him

And it shouldn’t to you

Since you’re almost as good at potion-making as him

“Have you’re fun. It is the tax of a king as crewel as you.”

Azul Ashengrotto

Is at his wit’s end

He can never match your lengths in creativity when it comes to igniting your laughter

Though sometimes his attempts make you laugh

He wonders if you had his powers 

How much more dastardly your contracts would be

He envies and admires that about you

But where you two relate most is that insecurity

Though he may stutter he’s the first tell you he loves all of you

And that he’s willing to conquer the whole world for you

“You’re such a romantic.”

“...D-do you still want that contract to have the tripping clause?”

“Hahaha yeah!”

Jade Leech

One of few who can make you laugh

Through orchestrated planning and scheming 

He can be the one to provide the event that will lift any spirits

He does it often

If only to get praise or the gift of your laughter

“I’m glad that was to your liking but how could you pin me as the culprit?”

“Obviously it has your signature touch!” 

To you he’s the comedian of the century 

And he usually can match your levels of entertainment

Which will be a perfect distraction while he eliminates all your self-doubt

Floyd Leech

Is more often then not riling you up 

Enjoying the aftermath of whatever pent up anger your releasing

But you?

Stressed out or worried?

“Ew lame princess leopard seal are you sad?!”

“What?! I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU INTO SU–”

“That’s better.”

He’d sooner rile you up than make you laugh

But sometimes you do laugh

And it makes him feel all funny for the rest of the day

But whatever your laughing about ought to be good if it sets you off

And he can’t help but sigh in bliss as he scrapes off the entertainment from his uniform

Malleus Draconia

Is gifted to hear even a hint of your bell-like laughter

You have a several meter long radius for anyone from Diasomnia

Especially him

You’ll prefer to glare at him and cuss him out if he so much as looks at you

“But how can I not stare you’re simply alluring when you–”

“I WISH I COULD KILL YOU DIASOMNIA TRASH! SEVENS I HATE YOU SO MUCH!”

“Even when you scold me you’re so perfect.”

[chlorine-and-daisies]

did the metatron only chose aziraphale as supreme archangel because of his connection to crowley?

in this essay i will make the case that metatron is inadvertently sowing the seeds of his own destruction!

i. metatron does not respect aziraphale

metatron looks down on other angels in general, sending the supreme archangels back to heaven like naughty children and calling muriel dim.

he treats aziraphale's bookshop as unimportant, passing it on to muriel last-minute without asking aziraphale who he would want as the successor (perhaps because aziraphale would have chosen crowley.)

he has some previous beef with crowley, as i'll get into later, so the way that he says casually that he knows aziraphale worked with crowley a few times is extremely disingenuous.

he says that as supreme archangel, aziraphale could restore crowley to angelic status.

notice two things.

a. metatron doesn't say "you can bring crowley" or "you should bring crowley" or "you and crowley can be together." he doesn't care about their relationship at all. a life with crowley is a perk of the job. just a way to sweeten the deal.

b. metatron specifically brings up angelic status. aziraphale is currently torn- he loves crowley and thinks crowley is good, but he also thinks only angels can be good. either crowley is meant to be an angel, or crowley is actually evil. and if crowley is actually evil not only does aziraphale have poor taste in men, but he is himself deserving to Fall by association. metatron is telling him clear as day- it's the former. you're okay, you're both okay, as long as you follow me and my rules. obviously this is still fucked up but to aziraphale a higher power has forgiven both him and the love of his life. this gives aziraphale so much relief, you can still see him bouncing and smiling on his way back into the bookshop to talk to crowley.

the offer is such targeted manipulation.

sorry to say this, but aziraphale- if the metatron hates your peers and your livelihood and your husband, he looks down on you as well, no matter how special he says you are.

think back to the oat milk latte. metatron puts aziraphale at ease by saying that he also eats/drinks (something that gabriel made fun of aziraphale for, something aziraphale associates with nina and crowley) but do we ever see metatron buying anything to eat or drink himself? they sit together talking and there is only one coffee at the table. between them.

it's all lies.

aziraphale was played like a fiddle while not even being the target that mattered, and it breaks my heart.

ii. aziraphale is not qualified for the job (at least not in the way you would expect)

the main thing aziraphale has that other angels don't is an appreciation for humanity. that is incredibly important but it is also a blind spot in heaven, because most of them treat humans like slightly more interesting ants. would the metatron, who wants to destroy all of humanity, think that aziraphale is a qualified leader because aziraphale is sympathetic to humans?

more generally, from heaven's perspective as of s2e6, what has aziraphale done to set him apart as a leader of angels? why is aziraphale the ideal choice to lead the second coming, when he spends all of his time reading books and eating sushi? when he's only a principality with no social capital whatsoever, and no way to defend himself as he doesn't have the flaming sword and his store is no longer a official heaven embassy?

the only time when he appeared to be a vaguely gifted angel was when he "survived hellfire" and i doubt that he would be appointed over that.

you love him, i love him, but the archangels hate him and want him to be removed from the book of life! so he's not going to be voted in by popular vote either.

iii. metatron has been bitter towards crowley for 6000 years

first metatron generally acts pretty snotty to crowley and refers to him simply as "demon." he asks if he recognizes him, crowley immediately implies that he does but he doesn't speak about their past.

then metatron tells aziraphale that as supreme archangel he would have the power to bring crowley to heaven as an angel. as i talked about before the primary goal of this is to manipulate aziraphale.

he doesn't actually want crowley in heaven or expect him to accept the offfer. how do i know that? because the second aziraphale admits that crowley denied the offer, metatron goes back to badmouthing crowley, saying that he "asked damn fool questions" when he was in heaven.

why does metatron hate crowley so much? well we can only speculate, but s2 has been FILLED with hints that crowley is extremely powerful and was Actually A Really Big Deal when he was still in heaven. others have made posts going into this in more detail but these hints include muriel's "throne, dominion or above" line, crowley being shown creating the stars, controlling the weather, and stopping time. most fan money is on crowley being either raphael or lucifer, i mean this guy is larger than life, and might even have been the first prince of heaven to fall that was mentioned in gabriel's trial.

metatron would have good reason to fear that kind od power, and there's a personal aspect to his hatred too because they knew each other in heaven. in other words- crowley asks annoying questions and is annoyingly powerful.

iv. conclusion and implications

hopefully by now i've convinced you that metatron doesn't respect aziraphale, and that aziraphale isn't exactly the ideal candidate for the supreme archangel job, and that metatron shows bitterness towards crowley.

connecting the dots:

why would you hire someone for a job when you don't respect him, and none of the existing managers would ever pick him to do that job?

maybe because you think you can manipulate him, and because you want to get back at his more powerful husband who you happen to hate.

aziraphale is not the guy you pick because you believe he can do great things- he's the guy you pick because you think he will eat up your propaganda, because you think he's not competent or connected enough to interfere with your plans, AND bonus points picking him make your enemy sadder and weaker

but metatron underestimates aziraphale and crowley.

aziraphale gave away the flaming sword. his love for humanity and the world and his lower principality status actually make him a great candidate to stop the second coming. because compared to gabriel, he is more likely to speak to other angels from all parts of the hierarchy, show them how amazing earth can be, and call for nonviolence.

also, if the aim is to take aziraphale away to get back at crowley and break both of their spirits...you think crowley is just going to accept aziraphale being damseled? it's classic in human stories for someone to come to save their captured partner and get even more powerful than they were before in the process, but metatron isn't human! he doesn't realize ~the power of love~!!!

once crowley realizes that he couldn't have just stolen away with aziraphale while the world that they care about was threatened, and aziraphale realizes that he has been deeply manipulated and taking crowley to heaven would have been both soul-crushing and impossible, they'll learn that they were in a no-win situation, and neither of them was in the wrong for the Final Fifteen going so poorly.

and then.

they'll try to find each other again.

and metatron's days in power will be numbered.

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 18!!!!!!

I haven't been able to write for a week and it made me all squirrely.

Alright so the vote was for a weird roadside attraction, and I got THE MOST AMAZING recommendation. Just as a reminder, I do take requests for this fic :) This particular attraction was suggested to me by @hummingbee-lievable and I mean, I just couldn't say no. You'll understand why when we get there.

Here are some links to the music mentioned, in case you haven't ever heard it and want to :)

Vivaldi's Four Seasons

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture

Let's do this.

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*************************************

Approximately 8 hours.

That’s how long you’d been driving for.

Aside from a couple bathroom breaks, and a quick trip through a fast food drive through (Aziraphale complained until you managed to persuade him to try french fries and a chocolate shake – suddenly he became positively fascinated, much less whiny, and much more fun to be stuck in a car with), the five of you have basically been on the road non-stop. You’ve all run out of things to talk about, the playlist has been shuffled and reshuffled often enough that you’re becoming able to tell the difference between the different concertos and symphonies that Aziraphale added. The SUV, roomy as it is, is becoming stuffy, and frankly you’re starting to feel sore in places that are going to make the next 20 hours of this...difficult to say the least.

“Okay,” You say, breaking the silence, “Honestly, I get that we’re on a bit of a time crunch, but if we don’t stop for a real break soon, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“What,” snorts Crowley from the driver’s seat, “You mean you’ve had it this whole time? I am shocked.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and lean over into Sardis’ space to make sure Crowley can see it in the rearview mirror.

“Now, now,” Aziraphale says soothingly – he doesn’t fool you, you can see him smirking, “I’m very certain we can find a suitable place to rest for an hour. Some fresh air would probably do us all some good.”

Oh, so he’s getting restless too. Good to know you have Aziraphale on your side with this one. Sardis is already tapping around on his phone, and you glance over to see him googling the area. Thank someone. Anathema has her nose in a book, but gives a thumbs up to show that she agrees with the idea. So it’s basically unanimous. Sardis very quietly taps you and discreetly shows you his phone screen. You look over, figuring he must have found something and….oh.

OH BOY DID HE EVER.

It takes actual work to play it cool. If you don’t do this very carefully, you won’t get to see this glory in person. You nod at Sardis, who winks in return. The plan is set.

“I’ve found an art museum nearby,” he says. You can see Aziraphale’s face light up.

“Oh! That sounds lovely! Perhaps they have a cafe!”

“And maybe a gift shop!” You add hopefully. Best to sell this hard.

Crowley sighs. “Yeah fine, whatever. Just give me directions, would you?”

“Sure thing,” Sardis replies.

To cover your bases, you take you phone, and turn on Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. Aziraphale, utterly delighted by the turn of events, begins humming and conducting the non-existent orchestra. He loses himself to the music relatively quickly. Between that, Anathema in her book, and Sardis feeding Crowley directions one at a time, you’re off to the races.

As you get closer, you start to see signs advertising it. Crowley snorts once or twice, but doesn’t seem any the wiser as Sardis directs him. It isn’t until you pull into The Truck Yard that you can see his eyebrow raising in the mirror. And it isn’t until Sardis instructs him to park in front of the building that it seems to click. Aziraphale doesn’t notice until you turn off the music.

“We’re here!” You sing triumphantly.

“Are you serious?” Crowley asks.

“Oh most definitely,” You reply. Then the demon starts to laugh, and kicks open the door with a snort.

“Right, okay, come on then!”

Aziraphale hasn’t moved.

“Perhaps I’ll stay here,” he says.

“NOPE!” Crowley calls, crouching to look at Aziraphale through the driver’s door, “You wanted an art museum, angel, you’ve got one!”

Aziraphale groans and gets out of the car. He leans heavily upon the door as he closes it. “Yes,” he said, “But I hardly think this counts as art!”

“Think of it as modern art, angel!”

“...All the more reason for me to stick to the traditional sort.”

“As long as it doesn’t stick to the bottom of your shoe, am I right?” You say, because you just have to join in. Sardis laughs and Crowley snorts, and the three of you lead the way into Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum. Aziraphale and Anathema follow behind, pretending not to know you. You spin around and walk backwards so that you can watch the two of them as they approach the door of the building, which features Roman-style pillars built out of toilets. Aziraphale glances at them with a sigh, but Anathema raises and eyebrow and goes in for a closer look.

“Huh,” she says, clearly impressed, “Actually, that’s really clever.”

“Ugh,” says Aziraphale, clearly unimpressed, “Vulgar is what it is.”

You enter the building, and find floor-to-ceiling toilet seats. They cover every inch of wall, an absolute punch to the eyes, and yes, it is beautiful. It is glorious. You let out a low whistle.

“Look at you,” You recite, because any opportunity to quote the show is one that should be taken, “You’re gorgeous.” You notice both Aziraphale and Crowley glance in your direction briefly, but you don’t elaborate, so they both look away while you take the opportunity to notice the tiniest of blushes between them. Ha. Softies, the both of them.

“It really is,” Sardis replies, oblivious, “I’d call it downright glorious.”

You look up, and then run back over to nudge Aziraphale. “Hey, Aziraphale, look at that!” You point upwards. “There’s some more traditional art for you!”

He follows your gaze, but is, as you predicted, still disgruntled. “Is that...Michelangelo??” Painted upon the high ceiling is a recreation of Michelangelo’s painting The Creation of Adam. However, this particular adaptation features a closeup of the hands – with God handing Adam a roll of toilet paper.

You hear Crowley snort. He comes over to you and Aziraphale just so he can say to you “Most useful she’s ever been, eh?”

“CROWLEY!” Aziraphale exclaims in disgust.

“Demon,” he replies with a smirk, and saunters away. With a giggle, you follow him to where Sardis is standing.

“Hey, Witch!” Sardis calls, “Here’s one for you! It’s all about Astrology!” He looks over his shoulder, and you follow his gaze to where Anathema has started looking at the seats with curiosity.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” she responds. You see her lean in for a closer inspection of the piece in front of her.

“You are really good at this road trip stuff,” You say as you turn back to Sardis. “Did you spend a lot of time on the road with your siblings?”

“Nah, but there were a few dinners where someone had to calm things down.”

“I can imagine.” You go quiet for a while before something occurs to you. “You know, you barely know us, and you’re a lot more...open about things that I would expect, well, anyone really, to be.”

Sardis shrugs. “Well who am I going to share with? Philly was the only one I still talked to.”

You think about your first impressions of Sardis. Someone who likes to play games, someone who takes things half-seriously, but would probably monologue if you let him. Oh. He’s lonely.

“I want to trust you Sardis,” You say after a minute, “I just...I’ve been disappointed by enough people in the past that I’m still trying to decide if I can.”

He nods. “No hard feelings, Moth. Trust is a hard thing, and it takes time. So by all means take yours. Just do me a favour and put up with me in the meantime, eh? I haven’t met many humans willing to trick both an angel and a demon into visiting a toilet seat art museum with me.” He winks at you, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Oi!” Crowley announces, “Angel! Come look! This one’ll perk you up! It’s got sheet music on it*! Get it?? SHEET MUSIC!”

You and Sardis both burst out laughing, and you wander over to see this masterpiece. Anathema is coming too, and she’s also giggling even though you can tell she’s trying not to. Even Aziraphale has cracked a smile despite himself.

“Really, Crowley,” he says with a shake of his head. The angel sighs. “Right, let’s see then.” Aziraphale pulls his tiny glasses out of his pocket and puts them on his nose. Then he leans in to inspect the classical music that has been collaged onto the toilet seat, plastered beneath the title “Cannon Ball.” He hums to himself as he inspects the notes, and after a moment he starts to conduct to himself. Sardis has come and joined in, so now the full group is watching Aziraphale in anticipation – waiting for his verdict. After a minute or two, Aziraphale leans back, takes the glasses off, and polishes them with a cloth from his pocket. “It appears to be an excerpt from Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. Specifically the bridge, which is famously known for including cannons as a musical instrument.” He glances up at you all sideways, the tiniest of Michael-Sheenian smirks upon his lips. “It is indeed, sheet music.”

No one is able to contain their laughter, not even Aziraphale.

By the time all of you head back to the car, everyone is in much better spirits. Aziraphale admits that it was a good idea to stop here after all, even if it still isn’t his idea of art. Overall, the car feels much lighter and happier than it had a few hours ago, so you bask in it. Even after the toilet jokes fade away, the mood stays. For the first time since New York, things feel light and the challenges ahead of you feel manageable.

Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the toilet seat.

And no, I will not apologize for that line.

* My Dear Reader, I need to pull you away for a minute to quickly tell you that I have never been to this incredible museum, so I have no idea if this particular piece actually exists. But I had to, you understand. I just HAD to.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! I am SO hyperfixated on the fact that the overblot form CAN be controlled??? That’s the case with Malleus isn’t it? And I guess on one hand I can see how Idia can control it too because of his “curse/blessing” (and sheer will and spite).

Maybe this is foreshadowing that maybe it’s possible for the other OB boys to do so as well???? I don’t know how it’ll work with them but I’m so excited. Overblot cards potential AAAH

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!

[Referencing this post!}

Yeah, I definitely think that OB Idia battle segment opens the floodgates for potential SSR Overblot Troublemaker(s) cards 💀 (RIP to the OB gang fans)

As a refresher for everyone (since it has been a while), alllllll the way back in book 1, Crowley and Cater describe “overblot” as thus: “[… being] overcome by negative energy and[…] losing control of [one’s] magic and emotions,” and “evil berserk mode”.

We’ve seen many examples of these traits in the main story campaign; oftentimes, the OB boy in question is impossible to reason with and has to be subdued via battle. However, it’s important to note that while the OBs may be primarily driven by their emotions, it is not purely rage but rather negative feelings in general. Yes, many OBs (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Vil, etc.) do attack others—but other OBs demonstrate moments of calm (ie when their demands are met). For example, Jamil is tame when he believes he has banished Kalim, secured hypnotized Scarabia mobs, and reigns over the dorm as its new leader. I do believe anger is still a large component of the behavior of one who has overblotted though; that rage most certainly clouds a person’s judgment and compels them to strike out at the slightest thing.

Now, about the idea of “controlling” OBs… I don’t that that can actually be done?? We have to remember that Malleus is a VERY powerful mage—and this alone could give him an “edge” that others don’t when it comes to being fully aware while in OB (though I believe both Malleus and Vil indicate early on they notice their blot building). As Idia’s dad states, Malleus is drawing his magic from nature itself and therefore has a limitless supply it. Secondly, I wouldn’t call Malleus’s OB “controlling” it to begin with. It’s clear that he’s still running high on emotions and is unwilling to hear others out or have them interfere with his plans. These are still traits associated with OB; it’s not as though Malleus is “overriding” the unreasonable thoughts, he is still ruled by them and acts on them. I think what you (maybe?) mean is that Malleus has a much more calculating approach and more precise control over how he wields his power rather than indiscriminately smashing stuff in his path. This, again, could do with his insane power level compared to his peers. Unlike most other OBs, his goal (at least in his own framing) before he overblotted to begin with wasn’t to “take away”, but rather to “gift” happy endings to everyone. This sets him apart just based on interests alone, and that’s perhaps why he acts the most different in the lot.

Now let’s consider the circumstances under which Idia OBs a second time: it’s in a dream, meaning it’s questionable whether or not this would transfer over to real life. Because it’s Idia’s dream, he has more autonomy in it, particularly because he is now “awake”/conscious of the fact that it is a dream. Secondly, Idia bears the Shroud family’s curse/blessing, which allows him to “power up” the more blot is present, as it serves as fuel for his magic. This alone makes him a “special case” which could explain the unusual amount of control he exerts over his OB form. (Again though, I’d wager it’s mostly the dream environment.)

I do see maybe the other OB boys doing a similar “oh, lemme OB to help you guys fight” in a dream situation where there are fewer limits on what they can do, but not in a real world setting. It would put them all at risk anyway, as they lack Idia’s curse/blessing or Malleus’s fae powers. Is that worth the risk, knowing they could all die or potentially turn on their classmates?

I just don’t see OB becoming a “tool” or a magical girl transformation the characters could pull out for combat purposes in the story (though this is possible for like the gameplay outside of the story). I highly doubt OB is like something you could train yourself to control; it’s less like bulking up at the gym and more like pushing yourself to keep exercising while you’re high on adrenaline… Sooner or later, you’d burn out and injure yourself in that overexertion.

If there ever are OB cards, I can easily see them as being the type that don’t come with vignettes because… what reasonable story could you conjure up to explain the OBing again? If there are vignettes, then they most likely won’t fit into the main story canon. You’d have to frame the OB cards as “within the moment” of whatever book they OB’d in, and perhaps go more in-depth about the trauma or something along those lines.

[very-normal-abt-this]

Analysis of Crowley's and Aziraphale's "love languages."

A lot people are familiar with the concept of "Love Languages" these days. It originally comes from a book by Dr. Gary Chapman "The 5 Love Languages: A Secret to Love That Lasts." 

The book posits that there are several different patterns of behavior that a person can engage in, in order to express affection.  And, by the same token, there are different patterns of behavior that a person tends to interpret as being "loving" towards them.

The 5 Identified Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation  - expressing affection verbally, such as through compliments, statements of appreciation, reassurance, or love.

Acts of Service - expressing affection by doing things FOR our loved ones, when they ask for it OR when they don't ask for it (i.e. anticipating what they might need). Things like, letting your partner borrow your special car for a road trip, and then house sitting his residence and needy puppy. Or, tidying your partner's house after a big party, whilst he is out having coffee with some douche.

Gifts - expressing affection by purchasing things for our loved ones, or giving surprise gifts. Perhaps being very thoughtful in considering what objects they might want or need. 

Quality Time - expressing affection by giving loved ones our undivided attention, and engaging in interactive activities with them. Going out to dinner, going on walks to the park, or just having quiet 1-1 time.

Physical Touch - Expressing affection by touching a loved one's body with your own body (consensually of course). There is a wide spectrum of these behaviors (platonic, parental/familial, romantic, sexual). E.g. lightly guiding someone with your hand on the small of their back as you walk together, patting their back/shoulder, dancing together, sitting in close proximity on purpose so that your bodies touch, hugging/kissing, and so on.

As you can probably deduce from the examples I've included above, in my opinion Aziraphale's preferred love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical touch.  And Crowley's preferred love languages are: Quality Time and Acts of Service. And yet, Crowley was the one who initiated the biggest Physical Touch of their relationship. I will address that in a separate post!

Crowley and Aziraphale both share the Quality Time category, which makes sense. Time has been an unlimited resource for them, and they certainly enjoy making their time together "Quality." They give each other undivided attention; they do relaxing and interesting activities together. In addition, they have often attended significant and memorable events together (whether by coincidence or not)

It is also sweet that both of the Ineffable Husbands have picked up on each other's love languages. Aziraphale has noticed Crowley's acts of service language, which is why he says: "Rescuing me makes him so happy." 

And, Aziraphale is cautious about giving Crowley compliments - he knows it is not the way Crowley prefers to receive affection. Aziraphale also engages in acts of service for Crowley, such as by offering to do the magic show in 1941, and by bringing him holy water.

In turn, Crowley knows how important words of affirmation are to Aziraphale, which is why he says things like "Doing good again, Angel?" Or "Good Job" - when Aziraphale calls him from Edinburgh.

Crowley also knows that physical touch is important to Aziraphale, which is why he never rejects physical touch overtures initiated by the angel (And….physical touch might be Crowley's 3rd secret love language, but he has been too cautious to act upon it!)

If you think of other examples of their love languages, please write a comment!