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benjaminthewolf · 2 years

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Killer Moth Lol

Killer Moth from Batman. Yes this was for yet another trade with my Batman obsessed friend. ****

Firefly felt nothing, absolutely nothing short of pure, cathartic euphoria coursing through his nerves and veins as the tongues of the flames flared upwards towards the top of the building, engulfing its entire form in a column of heat, and causing more and more burning rubble to come crumbling down as charred embers were flung from the form of the blazen mass, setting the strewn objects and items on the ground below ablaze, furthering the raging force’s effects, and guaranteeing that the victim building would have absolutely no chance whatsoever to survive.

Not as though the outside world wasn’t trying to help it survive. Oh no, they certainly were. They certainly were alright. That, you see, is why Firefly had his jetpack. It didn’t matter how high those firefighters’ ladders went, he could always rise higher. He knew that these people would stop at nothing short of their own precious lives to foolishly attempt to defend the city against the purity of his flames. And to him, if that was the hill they had chosen to die on, then so be it their wish.

“All of you have lived impure…” he began to psychotically ramble. “...be thankful I allow your souls to purify in death…”

With that, Firefly once again ensured that this group of firefighters, at the very least, would be rendered unable to work emergency respondance for quite some time. Each and every time he pulled the trigger on that coveted flamethrower, he was finally delivered that feeling, that o’ so precious feeling, as if, tiny bit by tiny bit, the world was becoming pure at long, long last.

Tearing his eyes away from this wondrous scene for but a second if only to perform a practically obligatory check up on how many officers had arrived on the scene at this point, Firefly was but slightly annoyed to see an entire squadron of six cars pulling up beside the ones that had already arrived, if only because he just couldn’t understand why.

“Why sacrifice this many to the flames when you’ve made it clear you don’t want that to happen, hmm, Gotham? You ban me from purifying, yet make it so, so easy to do so.”

Firefly scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you were always destined to be this utterly ridiculous. You still haven’t permanently halted activities from any of your villains, after all. You cowards.”

Brushing off Gotham City’s assumed lunacy for the time being, Firefly now knew that the stage of combat was now set. His regularly performed and repeated villainous police fight was about to commence.

Things started off just as expected at first. Many shots were fired, but only the flames hit. He was used to hearing the screaming, he relished in it in fact. Regardless, Firefly knew that it was now that time that the police realized they needed more than just handguns in this situation. As such, many canisters of gas were swiftly let loose.

Firefly scowled. “Your pathetic bug spray does nothing to me. Do you really think that I’m going to be phased by-”

And that was when it hit him. Firefly wasn’t even given a chance to finish his last sentence before the capture net at last struck and snagged up his entire body in the air, its thin, threaded form almost fully invisible to the pyromaniac villain through the gassy haze. At first, he thought he might be able to burn through it, but alas to no avail. He then tried cutting himself free with his flame-sword, only to find the “threads” far too thick to be made of such flimsy, conventional, materials.

“Bastards! How dare you outsmart me!” he began to aggressively hiss as the entire squadron of officers started sprinting towards him, cocking their guns as such and simultaneously demanding surrender, that which Firefly was not keen at all on doing.

“If you really think that I am going to bow down to such impure fools such as you, then you’ve gone more insane than the Joker, I tell you!” he assertively spat out in firm refusal to comply.

Firefly knew that this wasn’t going to end well for him, but at this point, he really didn’t care all that much. He had already accomplished his goal of purifying the building, so if he was to die here, then at least he could die having fulfilled what he had set out to do. As such, there was now nothing else for him to do but close his eyes, grit his teeth, and brace for impact.

“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

“Eh-?” Firefly instinctively belted out.

He hadn’t yet gained enough courage to open his eyes, but somewhere out there, Firefly knew, if but from the unmistakable sounds of bodies hitting the floor and punches being thrown, that somebody else had just intervened. A few more shots were fired, but no impacts were heard. Eventually, Firefly was practically forced by his instincts to open his eyes as he began to feel himself getting lifted off the floor. Not by the “threads” of the net, however. Oh no. Whoever it was that had just lifted him into the air was doing so by his arms.

At first, Firefly was only able to look down. As a result, the entire recently unfolded scene of the downed police officers and the cut net that had formerly held him to the floor was the very first thing he was able to discern. Firefly had no idea who had just taken hold of him, so whether he was being rescued or being kidnapped hadn’t yet been determined. That was, of course, until he shakily looked up.

And then he smiled. Any previous ounce of fear or anxiety that had been welled up in his being prior to this moment all melted away.

“KILLER MOTH!” he affectionately cried out.

Killer Moth tilted his head down and smirked lightheartedly. “Hey, Firefly.” he warmly responded. “Brought down yet another apartment complex, I see?”

“What can I say? It's by far the most effective way to purify multiple people at once. And besides, those buildings are always the most fun to see crumble anyway.”

Killer Moth nodded. “But then of course the cops just had to come in and completely ruin the show.”

Firefly made a *tisc* sound and shook his head. “I know, right? Bunch of fucking losers.”

Both Firefly and Killer Moth would’ve loved to continue chatting in the moment, yet a couple more barely dodged shots from one of the recently recovered officers below suddenly snapped them back to reality.

“Hey, looks like they’ve started getting back up!” Killer Moth swiftly informed his rescued one.

“Bastards…” Firefly scowled with nothing but undistilled hatred under his breath.

“We’ve gotta get you to a safe place now, alright, Lightning Bug? You know what I gotta do.”

“Yes, yes, I know! Just try to be quick, or else I might just be the one getting purified tonight!”

“Don't you worry, I’m on it!”

Though it took a considerable amount of effort on the part of Killer Moth to hoist a full grown man wearing a jetpack and tons of other pieces of battle gear up to his face, he knew that if he wasn’t able to do so, that jetpack might just have its fuel tanks burst just a few seconds later, and at that point the both of them would be purified. As such, the near-instant that Firefly was close enough to his maw to be shoved inside, Killer Moth opened wide and gently clomped his jaws over Firefly’s upper body, doing his very best to not be rough, ere he risk accidentally breaking something on his suit.

Firefly, as he was much more used to the heat of flames than the cold of night, welcomed the natural heat within the maw more than willingly, gently rubbing his head against the squishy, smooth muscle that was Killer Moth’s tongue as it semi-frantically did its very best to move Firefly’s body further back into the maw so he may at last reach the gullet and proceed down the throat.

Gently stroking his tongue upon Firefly’s face as a way to return the prior rubbing gesture, Killer Moth could sense his rescued beloved’s face and hair getting considerably doused in saliva as he was continuously inched forward towards his rescuer’s gullet.

Though Killer Moth was having a considerably difficult time fitting all of Firefly’s upper body inside his maw, mostly thanks to that goddam jetpack, that didn’t stop him at all from trying his hardest. Tilting his head back to let the force of gravity aid him, Firefly soon found himself sliding down the slick surface of the tongue for a while before his head landed square into Killer Moth’s gullet, his hair tickling his uvula slightly, which, combined with Killer Moth’s haste to get Firefly safe as soon as possible, made him almost instantly swallow, the rest of Firefly’s body slipping cleanly into the maw as his upper body was forcefully squeezed through Killer Moth’s esophagus. Killer Moth could feel his throat muscles bulging out quite strenuously from the sheer size of the swallowed man within as he gently rubbed the lump he formed in an attempt to release some of the tension. Regardless, no matter how hard it strained his throat, Killer Moth knew it had to be done. Gulping down Firefly a second time in order to get the rest of him down into his esophagus, Killer Moth could physically sense the organ’s squeezes and contractions as it began to lead the great bulge on downwards, destination: safety. And to Killer Moth, that was all that mattered.

Firefly on the inside merely allowed himself to soak in the building warmth around him as his body was gently kneaded and massaged against the walls of the throat, its wet, lubricous nature only aiding in his continued journey of relaxation as it began to settle in him that all was going to be okay. Or, this time, it was going to be okay, at least.

Once Killer Moth’s heartbeat became audible, Firefly was actually a little concerned about why it was beating so fast, but then again, he was flying away from the police with his entire battle-armored form being squeezed down his throat, so it ultimately made sense.

Soon, Firefly reached the lower esophageal sphincter, where he was squeezed through its tightened walls as such and out into the confines of the stomach, an area of Killer Moth’s body with considerably more room to fit his jetpack.

Killer Moth on the outside let out a humongous sigh of relief now that his body wasn’t having its physical limits stretched and overly pressured anymore. Patting over the freshly formed bulge that Firefly had made in his middle, Killer Moth now knew that he must focus all his attention on escaping, as there was no way that the police on the ground hadn’t called air support in the time between them recovering from getting beaten up by him and now.

Firefly, meanwhile, was just simply sitting back and enjoying the ride as he continued to have the time of his life within the shifting, undulating form of Killer Moth’s stomach. The great, bulging organ’s harmless liquids lapsed gently at his being as he squished himself into the walls, leaning back slightly into its flexibility, as he just simply settled down for the night. All that his ears had been able to discern up to the point of his rescue was crackling and gunshots, so it was nice to finally have a change of audio scenery with the natural gurgles and rumbles that constantly reverberated within the area of the stomach, all against the backdrop of the baseline heartbeat, of course.

The walls themselves were of a cushiony nature that really couldn’t be found anywhere else except in perhaps those extremely fancy beds that you order from professionals, but Firefly knew quite well that those kinds of luxuries weren’t exactly…readily available…to people like him, and as such, this was pretty much the only place that this level of comfy squishiness could be found in his world.

Giving his rescuer a few thank-you rubs from the inside, Firefly was soon able to sense the light thumps that came from outside as Killer Moth contentedly returned the gesture with a slight smile.

Stretching his arms as far as was possible within the tight, warm confines, Firefly at last closed his eyes as he finally settled down, murmuring a soft: “Thank you.” to Killer Moth on the outside as he did.

Killer Moth was slightly flustered and began to visibly blush upon hearing those two simple words. He attempted to find something good to say back, something clever or original that would fit with the situation, but in the end, he simply came up completely blank, and just had to shove that entire notion away with a bit of a self-mocking smirk.

Eventually, all he was able to do in response to Firefly’s gratitude was give him a few external rubs, blow him a tummy-directed kiss, and say the rather simple responding phrase of: “You’re welcome, love.” And that was all Firefly needed to finally feel whole.

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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years

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Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

#Long post GOD #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bat Family #Batman #red hood and the outlaws #RHATO #RH:O #Batman Urban Legends #Red Hood Lost Days #TW Voltron #TW Death #tw murder #TW Klance #Gotta love how i am pouring my heart out onto jason AND calling out the Voltron fandom #Regardless love Jason Todd people

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obsessivelycapricious · 3 years

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Birds of a Feather, Stuck Together. Jason Todd x fem!reader slow burn. Part 6

Three years after the Joker locks you in a cell, he throws another Robin in with you.

A/N: Happy Friday! I've been slower to update this time, I know. But I'm back at work now and it's pretty intense. I'm going to aim to update once a week, probably on a Friday, but we shall see. I'm super grateful to everyone who has reblogged, left a comment or sent me a message. I keep going back and re reading them it's super helpful when I'm not feeling great about my writing so thank you all so much <3 This update is 3k words - the biggest chapter yet - and moves the plot along a bit! I hope you enjoy! Please remember to heed the warnings in the tags! It's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better!

Fic Playlist (Spotify)

Tags/warnings: 18+ because of explicit violence, rape, torture, canon typical Gotham shenanigans, use of gas and toxins, gaslighting, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, enemies to friends to lovers, unreliable narrator, the burn is super slow, not Batman friendly (for now at least), alternating 2nd person POV, Alfred Pennyworth is the best human in Gotham.

Previous Parts

Jason’s jaw lights up in pain as her heel comes stomping down on his face.

He had been doing a pretty good job of blocking her blows up until then, but the regular beatings the Joker was putting him through were having an effect, slowing his reaction time. The clown seemed to have a knack for being able to elicit excruciating pain without leaving any lasting damage, but the injuries were piling up. The short manacles keeping his wrists and ankles linked didn’t help either. Before he knew it, he had been kicked to the ground.

In the 4 days he had been here, he had eaten once; a tasteless and stale MRE. Since the girl hadn’t complained about being hungry, he figured they were feeding her while he was with the Joker. Another tactic to wear him down. There was a time that he would have been able to cope just fine like that – well enough, at least. Growing up he had chosen other necessities over food many a time, but the years since spent at the Manor with Alfred’s cooking made it much harder to adjust. The hunger pains set his nerves on edge. ‘Never again’, had turned out to be a promise to himself that he was unable to keep.

Besides all of that, the fact that she had charged at him out of nowhere had completely taken him by surprise. If he had suspected there was information he was missing before, he was positive of it now. Unfortunately, every attempt he had made to work it out had fizzled out with a disappointing shrug or empty silence. She couldn’t give him a straightforward answer to any of his questions, to the point where he had realised that she probably had no clue herself.

In the end, she had been raving about a Robin, only she didn’t seem to be talking about him – or Dick. She meant a third one, which was entirely ridiculous. That was when she had become completely unhinged and had flown at him over the short distance of the cell, leading to his current predicament.

He was counting on her running out of steam any minute now. He didn’t want to hurt her. She would never trust him if he did. For all he knew, taking a beating from her now, might end up helping him in the long run.

At a loss for anything better to do, Jason curled into himself tighter; an arm over his head to protect his face, knees against his chest to protect his busted ribs. She was crying, cursing between ragged breaths as she laid into him, her words too muddled to make out.

As much as he was trying not to think about it, between the Joker and this girl, Jason was scared. The Joker had some kind of plan, he was sure of it, though he couldn’t work out what it might be. The girl was important to that plan, he was sure of that too. Completely unhinged, with a hair trigger temper and a fuck-ton of issues, but important all the same. It would be okay though, he just had to outlast them until Bruce made an appearance. He would save them both and get her the help she clearly needed.

Through the ringing in his ears, Jason hears the cell door open. Completely oblivious, the girl slams her fists down hard onto his shoulder, and he feels something pop, letting out a grunt of pain through his gritted teeth.

The icy tone of the Joker’s voice chills Jason to the bone. “Break it up now children, no roughhousing!”

In the next instant, the girl is lifted up and away from him as though she weighs nothing. Jason pushes himself back into the furthest corner of the cell, the best defendable position given his current state – at least no one can jump him from behind that way. He struggles to get his breathing under control, huffing through the pain.

Blinking, his eyes focus on the cell floor, willing it to come into focus. Rubbing his jaw, his stomach lurches as he realises the loose molar that had been holding on precariously, had been completely knocked out.

That fucking bitch!

Looking up to them in anger, he quickly stifles it, realising it isn’t over just yet. Joker had the girl by her throat up against the wall, high enough that she was on her toes to keep from choking. His eyes shine with a cruel hunger, staring her down practically drinking in her wrecked sobs. All the fight and anger had seemingly evaporated from her body, leaving her trembling, unable to stop the tears tracking down her face as she stares back at the Clown.

Whatever Jason had said wrong, it had set her off in the worst way.

The anger in the pit of his stomach becomes confused by guilt. She was a victim – he reminded himself for the hundredth time – it wasn’t her fault.

He takes in the rest of the cell, finishing his assessment of the situation. The large henchman that she’d called ‘Big Paulie’ was blocking the doorway, preventing his escape. There was at least one more behind him too. Jason knew he should try, but he didn’t have it in him to even make an attempt at the moment, even though the Joker did seem distracted.

Jason watches the scene play out in front of him, warily. At first, Joker simply waits for her sobs to start to subside with a twisted fascination. He was enjoying her reaction, Jason realises. The sick fuck.

Lowering her to stand feet flat on the ground once she tries to catch her breath, Joker croons to her softly, bringing his other hand up to stroke her hair. Swallowing down bile, Jason has to force himself not to react.

“Oh sweetheart, tell Uncle J what the matter is, hm?”

Breath hiccupping, it takes her a few long moments to find her voice. It almost seems like she is reluctant to speak at all, waging a war within herself. The fucked-up kind of obedience that Jason was coming to expect from her wins out. “He – He was talking about the Bat.”

A gleeful giggle slips out of the Joker as he rolls his eyes, releasing her altogether. She gasps for air and uses the wall to steady herself. “Well of course he was talking about good old’ Batsy. What did you expect? He is ‘The Robin’, after all.” He adds, turning around to raise an eyebrow towards Jason.

Jason flinches violently at the look. It takes him by surprise, not expecting to have reacted so involuntarily, his body betraying his fear. It only serves to make the Joker smile even wider. He winks.

Still feeling raw from the last time that he was alone with the Joker – just yesterday, if his body clock was accurate at least – he is reminded of the many threats that the clown had sent his way. “You ‘Robins’ never get my jokes. You’re as bad as the Bat! I’ll fix that, don’t you worry. I’ll find your funny bone, Boy Wonder. One way or another!”

Before Jason can get his mouth to cooperate enough to spit out an insult, Joker twists his body back towards the girl as she whimpers. She sways slightly, hands now gripping the fabric of her sweatpants so tightly that they shook.

Bending at the waist, hands on his hips, Joker slowly levels his painted face mere inches away from hers. “What was that? Speak up, Dearie.”

Jason almost misses her weak voice as she snivels like a child. “He said it’s been three years since – since he...”

In the most uncharacteristic move Jason has seen from the Joker to date, he gathers the girl up in a tight embrace. He allows her to sob against his chest, her hands tentatively moving to hold onto his suit jacket, actively seeking his comfort. It doesn’t take long though, before he pulls back, pushing her shoulders to leave her at arm’s length, the hungry look back in his eye. “Oh. Pumpkin, it’s alright. I thought we agreed we were over this, no? You’re with me now. It’s old news! This shiny new toy of ours is your replacement.”

The girl jerks back from Joker’s touch in the biggest act of rebellion Jason has seen from her so far, colliding against the wall with a horrified look on her face. “What? You’re replacing me too? With him?” She accuses, with a jerk of her head in Jason’s direction.

Again, Jason can’t help but be offended at her tone. He really didn’t deserve this shit. He did wonder, however, who had replaced her in the past. Clearly it had left a bad impression.

The Joker lets out a short cackle before switching back to a more soothing, patronising tone, clasping her hand between his. “No, no no. I’d never dream of doing something so barbaric, Sweetheart. That’s the Bats’ M.O. You’re mine for keeps. His loss, my gain – remember? I would never be that cruel, would I?”

She blinks, not denying his words, and Jason frowns. She knew Batman? Had she worked with him in the past? Jason’s mind raced to connect the pieces together. No one had mentioned her before to him. Had Batman been the one to replace her? Had she worked with him before Barbra had joined their team? Was Joker punishing her for helping Bruce with investigations?

Eyebrows furrowing, her eyes dart back and forth, at war with herself once again. Eventually looking back up to the Joker she bites her lip and begins to stutter her way into an apology. “No. No Mr J – Sir – I got confused. I’m sorry.”

Jason knew for an absolute fact that whatever had happened to this girl, Bruce had no idea. He knew that B would never have left someone to such a cruel fate, especially if she had helped him in the past. He had to figure out a way to help Bruce right the wrong that had happened.

The Joker forgives her easily, making Jason think that he was never actually upset in the first place. Jason hadn’t quite figured out the nuance of the games Joker seemed to play with her when they were together, but he knew it had something to do with the elusive rules she had mentioned earlier.

Joker pulls her in closely, hands on her elbows so she stands close enough to hold onto the lapels of his jacket again. “That’s alright, Sugar. It’s a confusing time for you, ay? Being confronted with your demons so – unexpectedly.”

She lets out a broken, wounded noise. Fresh tears streaming down her face, she sniffs. “Bats - he didn’t even tell the Robin about me Mr J – Sir.”

Jason noted that that was the first time she had voluntarily acknowledged that he was Robin. Though there was something in it that seemed off kilter.

Joker rolls his eyes, his patience seeming to be running out. “Oh that.” He sighs heavily, grumbling, lips pressing together tightly before he drags the syllables out in condescending pity. “I know. Not even a whisper. It’s like you never even existed, poor thing. Nearly two years leaping around rooftops with that maniac and for what? Just for him to forget all about you. It’s a good job you’ll always have me kitten.”

As the Joker smiles once again, Jason feels the ground move from underneath him. Nausea hitting him hard, the puzzle pieces click into place. Though he can hardly believe it, the answer that has been right in front of him the entire time fills him with a horrific sense of dread.

“Leaping around rooftops.”

“The Bat lied to him just as much as he lied to you.”

“His loss, my gain.”

“You’re replacing me too?”

“The other one.”

“Why go to the bother of finding a dumb punk like you when he can just make a new shiny Robin instead?”

“You ‘Robins’ never get my jokes.”

“This shiny new toy of ours is your replacement.”

“You ain’t the first.”

“You were Robin?” The words rush out accusingly before Jason can stop them, causing them both to turn and look at him.

The girl turns her face away quickly, but he still sees her body shudder, giving him the horrible feeling, he was right – somehow.

Joker’s eyes light up in glee. Laughing loudly, he spins her to face Jason, throwing his arm around her shoulder and squeezing her in excitement. “Ooh goody, I think he’s finally figured it out. Not quite as stupid as he looks in that getup, huh Sweetness?”

The girl refuses to look at Jason, avoiding eye contact altogether.

He didn’t understand how that was possible. He was the second Robin. Dick had decided to move on, he had left to go to university and had left Bruce alone. He had been alone when Jason had met him. Hadn’t he?

There was no room for there to have been another Robin. Bruce had never once spoken about one. Alfred had never given any hints that there had been anyone else other than Dick. Even in the few times Dick had visited, he didn’t mention that there was anyone missing. Barbra, he knew, had no idea. She hadn’t been brought in until after he had become Robin.

Was it true? Hostages are unreliable, she might just be confused. And the Joker would say anything to get a rise out of them. Maybe Jason was making assumptions. He would speak to her once Joker was gone and get to the bottom of it.

Derailing his train of thought, before Jason has the chance to respond, the Joker segues. “You know, speaking of facing your demons. As fun as this new revelation is to watch, there’s some matters to attend to that just can’t wait.”

Having caught the attention of both his hostages, the Joker jostles the girl by the shoulder. “(Y/N) you’ll be excited to hear your good pal Jonny is back in business!”

Her name was (Y/N). It didn’t ring any bells whatsoever. There had to be some kind of mistake.

As though Joker’s words had doused her in cold water, Jason watches her flinch, looking up to the Joker in what he could only identify as raw fear. Her voice nears a hysterical tone. “What!? No Sir, please. Please don’t let him - not again.”

Crinkling his nose, Joker looks as though he might actually consider changing his mind for a full second before shrugging. “I had thought about giving you a free ride – just this once of course – given how disruptive the last few days have been for you, Poppet. But then you went and dented our new toy without permission, just look at all the blood! Very disappointing indeed.”

Jason feels a pang of pity for her as she shakes her head, panicked. If she was more afraid of this Jonny character than the Joker, despite everything, then it must be bad. She begs desperately, grovelling. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be good, I promise. Anything. Please, Mr J - Sir. Not Scarecrow.”

Scarecrow. Jason was surprised to learn that the Joker had any kind of relationship with Jonnathan Crane. As far as he knew they had never interacted before. It had been less than a year since he and Batman had sent the crazed psychologist to Arkham. He’d gotten out so soon? No wonder she was scared.

Joker quickly grabs her chin and hisses in her face, causing her protests to die out. “Don’t be rude. He’s fresh out of Arkham and in need of some assistance and assist him you shall. He’s on his way as we speak.”

If Scarecrow was already on his way, then clearly it had been planned long before (Y/N) had done anything to warrant a punishment from the Joker. Why she didn’t see that for herself, Jason wasn’t sure. It wasn’t her fault. None of it was. He’d find a way to get to the bottom of it and make it right, even if he had to drag Bruce into making amends with her himself.

What if the Joker really had taken a Robin and had kept her for three years without Batman knowing about it?

Gripping her by her arm, Joker shoves her towards the door where Big Paulie catches her. Without looking at either of them, he orders the henchmen around. “Get her ready for him. Quickly.”

“No! No – Fuck! Please don’t. C’mon I’ll be good. Please!” She tries to yank herself out of Paulie’s grip but it’s no use. The sounds of her pleading rattle Jason’s insides. It was the first time he had seen any fight in her to get away from her captors. He had to do something.

As she shrieks, Jason does his best to spring to his feet to protect her, his movement dampened by his injuries. “Hey, leave her alone!”

Unperturbed, Joker uses an open palm to slap Jason hard against his already battered jaw. In his surprise he isn’t able to catch the cry of pain that follows, doubling over from the impact.

“Don’t get up.” Joker snarls, using his foot to shove Jason back to the ground. “Kick back, relax. Take a load off.”

As Joker cackles, Jason can hear the sounds of the girl fighting and begging to be taken back as she’s dragged up the corridor. His heart sinks; there’s nothing he can do to help her.

“She’ll be fine. Don’t worry your pretty little head. Jonny always shows her a good time. My Dollybird just doesn’t know what’s good for her. That’s all.”

A boot connects with Jason’s chest and he feels something crack. A broken rib to be added to the list of injuries. Jason winces and groans as Joker crouches to look down on him from a closer distance. “Now Rob, don’t judge her too harshly. You might have more in common than you think.”

“Let me go, dickweed and we’ll see who’s harsh!” The insult spills out of his mouth on reflex, his mind still reeling from the realisation that he might be in a lot more trouble than he first thought.

Joker laughs, loud and long. Gripping him by the shoulders of his suit the clown hauls him upwards. “Still got that spunk I see. Good. You’re gonna need it. Jason.”

Part 7

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hintofelation99 · 3 years

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Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

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jmoriarty-221b · 3 years

Text

Ok so I’m reading Titans Tower AUs where Jason goes ‘kill the Replacement’ straight to ‘must protecc the child’ real quick (those are the best) and I just read the part of the dialogue where Tim tells Jason that he’s been cleaning up Gotham ‘the easy way’ in reference to how the Red Hood is a killer

And now I’m thinking of this piece of dialogue in a new light because, what if Tim Meant that literally like “have you ever had to disembowel someone with just a spoon???? No, you use guns to kill people and actual knives to decapitate their heads instead, you noob. Only real killers know how to decapitate someone with a pencil and let me tell you that it’s harder than it seems”

Meanwhile Jason is all offended because did Robin, the one who follows Batman’s no kill rule, just criticize him on how he kills people instead of criticizing him for, you know, actually Killing people???

I can just imagine this conversation is going on in the kitchen of Titans Tower with Tim in his pajamas and Jason in full Red Hood gear in the doorway because this was supposed to be an ambush but now he’s actually kinda offended because of course he could kill someone with a spoon and threatens Tim again only for Tim to flip that Uno Reverse card and literally arm himself with a spoon, brandishing it in front of himself like it’s a knife, and just going like ‘bitch I’m not Robin right now so let’s go, I’ve been a little out of practice and it’s so nice of you to offer to be my next victim’ with a little creepy grin on his face and suddenly Jason feels the embodiment of the meme: *nervous laughter* “what the fuck”

Somehow, Tim manages to pry Hood’s helmet open with the goddamned spoon and hey, Jason should really buy some silverware like that and he’s half tempted to ask Tim where he bought it from, and damn who knew a spoon would be such an effective weapon and oh my god this kid is actually crazy why does he know how to use a spoon as a weapon Jason better not go out via spoon now that’s just embarrassing; at this point there would be no life threatening injuries on either one of them, though Jason did manage to cut the kid’s throat at some point and got a spoon to the shoulder for his troubles but now they’re both tired, the Pit of Green Juice is quiet in the back of Jason’s head and ok, maybe he can, begrudgingly, admit to being impressed at how well Tim can fight with a spoon but it’s mostly just concern as to why he knows how to fight with a spoon and Tim is just like ‘Look Jason, yes I know, don’t look at me like that, just, let’s call it a truce and go patch up because I don’t want to kill you but I will have no problem strangling you with your own intestines if you keep trying to kill me ok? Ok’ and at this point Jason really doesn’t think the kid’s joking all that much so he agrees to the truce between them (let’s face it, having the Big Bad Red Hood get taken out via spoon would just be so embarrassing that Jason wouldn’t find peace even in death)

And it’s not until they’re both patched up that Jason decides it’s safe enough to ask about why Tim said that he’s not Robin right now (there’s no more spoon in Tim’s hands but he’s still on alert because the kid is just insane enough to try and bite him); and Tim’s like “uh, yeah I follow B’s moral code as Robin but I’m not particularly attached to it? Like, it’s not my moral code, whatever that is, and I’m not actually part of the family so just think of me as more of a close coworker? Anyway, I am and will always be a Drake, my family motto is literally ‘May Our Enemies Choke on Their Blood While Our Hands Remain Clean’ so you can get a picture of how I grew up, and to answer your questions, yes I have killed people, no I don’t really regret it, they were really bad people, yes i will throw hands again, no the Bats have no idea, and yes I have had to decapitate someone with just a pencil and disemboweled someone with a spoon, so yes I am actually qualified to complain about how easy you people with guns and knives have it when it comes to killing people because I would’ve loved to have had at least a pocket knife back then, hell I would’ve taken a sharp icicle but no, the only thing available was a pencil so I had to make do, also no, I really don’t want to kill you, I actually like you but please stop coming after me and we can just meet up to kill some of the more evil Rogues sometimes, we can even make it look like an accident”

Jason is just so Shooketh at this point that he will just focus on the last sentence for now because he doesn’t have the brain power to battle through that dump of information right now so he’s like ‘what would you know about setting up accidents Timbit’ cue Tim being like ‘well, it wouldn’t be all that hard to just mislabel a few chemicals in Joker’s newest hideout and have him blow himself up while trying to make a batch of Joker Gas, a sort of poetic justice when you think about it’

Basically, an AU where Tim wasn’t trained by Bruce first so he has a different moral code (whatever it is) and has been in just enough crazy situations to warrant his bizarre skills with a spoon

#new AU #tim drake #is basically also a killer #but not while he’s Robin #that’s when he adheres to Batman’s rule #because Robin is a symbol and it shouldn’t be tainted #and then Jason comes back #and ambushes Tim at Titans Tower #but Tim isn’t Robin at that moment #so he doesn’t hold back from fighting Jason #in his pajamas #while having his weapon be a spoon #because his life has been a series of bizarre events where he has had to disembowel someone with a spoon #Jason and Tim come to a sort of truce #and Jason is basically the embodiment of the meme: *nervous laughter* what the fuck #he also kinda wants to ask where Tim buys the silverware because that’s one resilient spoon you stabbed me with #basically Tim and Jason being the murder birbs when Tim isn’t Robin #but of course the Bats don’t really know about that side of Tim’s life #and he’s trying to keep it that way #and now only Jason knows just a little of what’s going on #but like #he isn’t a snitch so it’s fine #and he also doesn’t want to find out what it’s like to be taken out via spoon #which is just something so embarrassing that he wouldn’t be able to find peace in the grave #so Tim and Jason have a bonding moment #and decide to kill the Joker #but make it an accident #and then they do #batfam #bruce wayne

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dork-empress · 3 years

Text

Singing in the Dead of Night

Damian Wayne meets a new masked persona in Gotham, and everyone has to adjust to her.

AKA I have a lot of headcanons about Lucy Quinzel and I'm making it other people's problem.

I want it up front that I haven't read these comics, just a lot of wiki pages and tiktoks. If there's a fun thing in the comics you can tell me, but this is my own version of this universe and these characters.

This is going to be the main story, but I may do some offshoots. If you want to subscribe, chapters are also posted on my Ao3 (link in my description).

“You need to take things less seriously.”

Damian looked up, looked down, and then looked back just to be sure it was really his father who asked. It was hard to tell sometimes if your superhero father had been replaced or possessed or something. “Are you serious? YOU’RE telling me that?”

“That should enforce to you how dire the situation is.” Bruce said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re still a kid,”

“I’m 15,” Damian said, then thought about his varied adventures, “Technically…”

“My point exactly,” Bruce said, turning a page on his crime reports, “You should enjoy being a kid, for a while.”

“Oh, did you enjoy being 15?” Damian said, and maybe that was a low blow, but if Bruce wasn’t ready for him to call him out he...shouldn’t have made him upset. Hmm.

Bruce looked up and stared into his soul, and Damian worried he might have stepped in it a bit. He backed up a step in case. Bruce took a deep breath, looking at him. “My childhood was stolen from me, but I at least had one. As did all the other Robins. You’re not responsible for what happened to you,but I think you could use some time. I couldn’t offer you a childhood then, and I can hardly do that now, I know, but I can do what I can.”

“And what are you doing?” Damian asked, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re suspended from Robin duties.”

“WHAT?!” Damian exploded, getting in his face. “What are you talking about?!”

Bruce didn’t flinch, “Until the Wayne Manor Christmas Party,” Bruce said, “I’ve called Tim and he’s willing to cover for you until then.”

“He doesn’t NEED to cover me,” Damian snarled, “I’m right here! I’m not injured, or dead, or ANYTHING I just--WHY?”

“I told you,” Bruce said, “You need to find other...hobbies, or form connections or SOMEthing. Anything other than the lifestyle. You have two months, you’ll live.”

Damian curled his fists, shaking, but had no more arguments. “You’re the WORST!” He said, and went off to his rooms.

The room was left in stony silence for a moment. Alfred came in, changing out Bruce’s cup of tea. “You don’t actually expect that to work, do you?”

“Not really, no,” Bruce said, “But he’ll be out of my hair for a little bit.”

Alfred was very dignified and so did not snort. But it was close.

Damian went out at night, saying he was off with a friend. Best to keep things vague, but if Bruce pressed, he’d say he was with Jon, and could probably bully Jon into vouching for him.

He dressed all in black, jumping from the rooftops, looking for trouble. There was usually plenty of it in Gotham. He just had to avoid the Bat Signal hanging in the sky and he’d be fine.

He heard a crash and looked down. Jewelry store robbery. Perfect.

He jumped down to ground level and approached the broken in window, taking out his sword. “Anyone in here, it’s better to surrender now,”

Of course, because it was Gotham, he wasn’t met by a normal jewel thief. No, instead, what approached him was a small walking orange balloon animal dog.

Because of course it was.

With an act first, think later attitude, he stabbed at it. He regretted it instantly as it let out some sort of opaque gas, the effects of which he didn’t want to find out. He pulled his shirt up over his mouth in hopes of preventing himself breathing too much in.

“Oh wow,” a voice said behind him, “Are you Robin?”

Damian whipped around and scowled. The gas was obscuring whoever was there, but the silhouette seemed like something of a ballerina. Why couldn’t one criminal just be normal?

He jumped back, ready to attack, but she didn’t fight him. “I’m not Robin,” he said, “I’m…” he didn’t think of another name. Ugh, this was more complicated than it needed to be.

“Huh,” she said, heading over to the display case, “This city sure has a lot of teenage ninja fighters, doesn’t it? Is ninja appropriative? Hmm, will have to think on that.”

She picked up a diamond ring from the display case and headed for the door. “Put that down!” Damian yelled at her, lifting his sword up.

“What, are you going to kill me for one ring?” She said, holding it, “Kinda overkill, don’t you think, Blackbird?”

Damian put his sword up to her, blocking the exit. “I’m not going to kill you, I’m just going to stop you,” he said, determined, but then her words sank in. “Blackbird?”

“Well, I’ve got to call you something, isn’t that how these superhero fights all go?” She stepped forward out of the fog, a girl about his age with a white painted face, lips painted into a heart, and bright orange and pink eyeshadow. “I’m Commedia, the hero of funny, the dancing clown, the laughing knight, etc etc.” she said, “im still working on my name too.”

She did a fancy twirl, getting out of range of Damian’s sword, which he countered to block her from the entrance again. “Oh, you like to dance?” she said.

“Clown, huh?” he said, staring her down, “You work for the joker?”

She laughed, high pitched and sweet, “Very much no,” she said, twirling again through the store, “Though I understand the confusion. No, Joker is...well, a joke. He’s not even registered in the clown registry.”

“There’s a clown registry?” He swung his sword.

This time, it came to a stop, with a matching jingle. He frowned, and saw it was a tambourine that the woman had lifted and stopped the sword like a shield.

He stared at the girl, Commedia, in stunned silence. She smiled brightly at him. “Well, this has been fun. But I really ought to head out. Raincheck on that dance, Blackbird.”

With a spin and a jump, she made it past him and rushed out the door, throwing a pink flower behind. A gas filled up the room in her wake, obscuring the view. Damian unfortunately got a whiff before he could block his nose, but he knew a simple fog cloud scent when he smelled it.

Damian went back into the shadows before the police inevitably arrived. It did seem below his paygrade, fighting someone who only stole a single diamond ring. But it was even stranger for that fact. A strangely dressed clown woman engaging in very strange and specific crimes in Gotham screamed “beginning of a dangerous plot.”

He wanted to go in swinging as usual, then remembered that if his father heard anything about a young person with a sword threatening police, he might catch onto the fact Damian went out that night. So, he went with the subtle approach. Breaking into the jewelry store’s records.

He was glad he did. It turned out that ring in particular had a history. It had been bought, returned, bought again, and returned once more, all by the same man, a Matthew Crenshaw. A quick records search brought up that he was a simple caller at a center. Nothing special about him. But, he was tied to the ring, and that tied him to the girl, so that was his first stop.

He tracked down the apartment to find Matthew Crenshaw in the middle of a very strange day. Damien watched through the window as Matthew lay on the floor of his meager living room, looking up at Commedia herself. She held the ring out to him, offering. “Well come on, man! Take it!”

“I don’t…” he mumbled, “Who...who are you?!”

“Just call me your fairy godmother,” she said. “Come on, you said you wanted it! So take it!”

“That’s…” Matthew said, “That’s the ring that Jenny liked...that she…”

“That you said would make the perfect proposal!” She said, dancing around, “So? Here it is! Now you can propose for real!” she said, giving it to him.

He juggled it, nearly falling over. Commedia came rushing over, jumping through the window and onto the fire escape. “Alright, hands up,” Damian urged her.

She turned, smiling. “Why, Blackbird? We going on roller coaster?” She put her hands high in the air and swung around the fire escape ladder, “Weeeeee!”

Damian followed her, pointing his sword tip at her chest. “Stop,” he said, “What are you planning?”

“Well, I’m planning to go sneak up to that window up there so I can look in and see what Matty and Jenny have going on,” She said, “Wanna join--OH!”

Damian pressed his sword up to her neck. “Cut the games,” He said, “You’re up to something, I know it. So tell me.”

Commedia sighed, giving in. “Matthew doesn’t want to get married.”

“I...what?” Damian said, confused.

“Matthew Crenshaw, the guy up there,” Commedia said, “He’s a nice guy, and he cares for his girlfriend Jenny, sure. But she’s been pressuring him about getting married, even though he doesn’t really like the idea of getting married. He’s talked himself into saying that he needs the perfect ring, but when he bought it, he decided he couldn’t afford it, and gave it back. So, I got it for him.”

Damian’s scowl only deepened as she kept talking. “Who’s he to you?”

She tilted her head, confused. “He cold called me to try and offer me a deal on car insurance.”

Damian put down the sword. He just. She said it so sincerely. “Who ARE you?” He demanded, now out of confusion more than anger.

She smiled brightly once more. “Why, I’m Commedia! The hero clown, the dancing--”

“Yeah, you said all that before, but like,” He sighed, “Why?”

Commedia’s smile fell down to something simple and kind. She offered a hand to him.

Hesitant, curious, and just...confused, he took it.

She led him to the other window, where they saw Jenny walking through the door. She gasped and ran to Matthew. “Oh, Matt! Matt, yes! Yes, I do, I do, I never thought this day would come! Oh gosh, I gotta call my mom, I’ve got a few dresses all picked out. You’ll see, it’ll be a huge party with everyone we know and-”

“Jenny,” he said, “Jenny wait, I...you know I don’t...I’m not comfortable with crowds and...and I don’t--

“But it’s MY DAY!” Jenny wailed, “You wouldn’t take MY day from me, would you?”

“C’mon,” Commedia muttered.

“Please, Jen,” Matt continued, “Look it’s just...if, if we did get married, shouldn’t--wouldn’t it be my day too?”

“Oh come ON, Matt,” Jenny said, walking to the counter, “We both know I’m the one who knows what’s best for you. It’ll be good! You’ll finally get to shine, and if you don’t like it, you’ll have ME there to take the rest of the spotlight!”

Matt’s hands balled into fists, and his face set, “No.”

“What?” Jenny said, incredulous.

“I’ve had it! I’m tired of-of you telling me what I like and what I don’t!” his lip trembled as he stood up. “I knew I was hesitant, but I didn’t know why! Now I see it’s becasue I didn’t want you in the rest of my life!”

“Hey now,” Jenny said, “Matt, calm down--”

“Get out of my house!” Matt went to the open window Commedia left behind and tossed out the ring.

“Whoopsies,” Commedia said and dropped away. Damian, confused, dropped down after her.

She picked the ring up from the ground and held it out to Damian. “I trust you can get this back to the jewelry store.”

“So, all of that…” he said, “was to help a guy get out of a bad relationship? That you barely knew?”

“He sounded sad on the phone,” Commedia said, “Made me curious.”

Damian scoffed, staring at her. “Who ARE you?”

She chuckled. “My guess is you’ll find out sooner or later,” she said, “So I’ll pick later, for now. But I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, Blackbird.”

She took out another flower. This one shot off into the distance like a grappling hook, and pulled her twirling into the night.

Damian could have followed her, maybe. But, holding the ring in his hands, he didn’t see much need to.

Across town, Batman was called to a bank robbery in the middle of the night. Inside, however, he didn’t find the vault broken in, and nothing stolen, other than a number of complimentary lollipops. “You know there are easier ways to get my attention.”

“Aw, Come on Bats!” Harley said, swinging from the ceiling with one of the lollipops in her mouth, “Ain’t this a classic? Brings me back to the old days.”

“Oh, you’ve stopped doing crime then?” He said, leaning back and looking up at her, “News to me.”

Harley flipped down in front of him. “Batsy, you know I’m tryin’! I do good, is it a crime to have a little fun while I do it?”

“If you hurt people, yes.” Batman said.

Harley deflated. “I haven’t done that in a while now. I’m goin through some life changes.”

Batman hummed, staring down at her. “I’m guessing this is about the small clown that has been reported around town recently doing strange acts of minor crimes to help people?”

Harley brightened again, balancing on the teller counter. “She’s my new apprentice! A bit of a goody-two-shoes, but I’m doing my best to train her.” She did a handstand, “I came to ask for some advice at raising child soldiers, considering you have so much experience.”

Batman always scowled, but it seemed his scowl deepened on that. “I help some people come to terms with terrible things that have happened to them, and teach them to be a force of good in the world instead of falling to the world’s darkness.” He thought back on his children, “It doesn’t always work.”

Harley laughed, “No kidding,” she said. She sighed, thinking. “To be honest, Commedia is already pretty good. I can’t claim credit for that.” She rocked back and forth, feeling uneasy.

Batman approached, slow so as not to scare her. “Well, we both know she didn’t get it from her father.”

Her face was already white, but she blanched further. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, “She’s my niece, she ran from home so I’m taking care of her and-”

“Harley,” Batman stopped her rambling, “I’m a detective, remember?”

She frowned, shaking at him. “He doesn’t know,” she said, “No one knows, she...she’s never met him and I don’t want her to I--”

Batman held up his hands, stopping her again. “I know,” he said, “I understand, really. And I’ll help.”

She blinked up at him, smiling. “Really?”

Batman nodded. “I’ll help you protect her. As for advice....if you ever figure out a perfect way to raise masked vigilantes, let me know. I mostly just do the best I can, and make sure they can do a proper spin-kick if they need to.”

Harley snorted. “I’ll make a note of that.” She grabbed the box of free lollies on the counter, “I am going to be robbing these though, and you can’t stop me.”

She headed for the back entrance and away. “Harley,” Batman called her again, and she froze, “The year you were gone, when you disappeared and suddenly your sister had a child she wasn’t pregnant with. I want you to know, I noticed.”

Harley smiled, turning, “Thanks Bats-” When she turned, he was gone. “And people call me a drama queen.”

#lucy quinzel #batman #damian wayne #harley quinn #batfamily #joker

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

MY TOUGHTS ON PART FOUR OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

THIS ONE IS A MESS.

But first a little rant about my feelings about Red Hood in general at the moment.

I am not going to lie, it took me a long time to read this comic, I am kind of tired of reading this book, I feel like I lower my expectations each issue that passes by and I still get disappointed at the result.

Maybe I just love a Jason Todd that is no more and I have to accept the one we have now, but here is the thing, if this is what we get then I just don’t like it, and on rough days I hate it. These are very negative thoughts about one of the two DC characters that I love and I don’t enjoy having them, I don’t want DC to keep giving us this version of Jason or these versions of Jason, each time they change little things that just change the character from the one that he once was even more.

I feel a bit defeated about it and I don’t know, on one side I want to fight and scream so they can finally give Jason the characterization he deserves and for them to give up the bland formula they have going on with him and on the other side I just want them to stop, stop writing Jason Todd/Red Hood and that is so sad, imagine loving a character and wanting the publisher to stop making content with them because what they give is just terrible. I don’t know, this is a rant that I felt like writing before I read the issue (I did skimm it briefly), so don’t take this as part of the review, its just me explaining my feelings right now.

Anyway, I will start the review now, sorry for the rant.

Wonderful, this book is on crack (or should I say Cheerdrops?), the thing with this particular issue is that I had a great laugh, it’s funny but in a good way, it's stupid and it kind of doesn’t make sense, the only way to describe Zdarsky’s writing here is with a phrase that we say here in my country “se pisa el palito”, which means that he lies about something and after some time he reveals the truth himself by mistake or because he got confused, in this case Zdarsky makes Jason say something like “this time I have come prepared” but he is actually not prepared at all and like two pages later (within the same scene) he has Jason call himself an amateur, it's very weird and to me it translates to Zdarsky not liking Jason or just not caring about him at all.

And that sucks and it really bothers me. As I have said before this anthologies book might be called Batman: Urban Legends but the particular story I am reading is a RED HOOD one, I am not here for Batman content, I am here for Jason Todd content.

The fact that we are not getting a Jason-specific story in a Red Hood book is killing me, it would suck if we get, let’s say, a Nightwing book and its all about his relationship with Barbara…That is not a Nightwing book, that’s a Nightwing and (fake) Oracle book.

Anyway, this issue in general is like a connector, the things that happen are all happening because they will be developed in the next issues but what is said here is absolutely absurd so I will be talking about that.

This issue starts with a flashback and Jason from the present (who is currently a popsicle because he fell in Freeze’s trap) having a monologue. The flashback is set when Jason finds out that his birth mother is alive and is being used by the Joker so he (in civilian clothes) and Batman at doing some reckon. What I want to dive into is the monologue because it's interesting but also very dumb so here we go.

“What was I supposed to do? I thought I was an orphan; I carried that sadness and anger everywhere I went and then I found the woman who gave birth to me halfway across the world. I found her…and the Joker. He was blackmailing my mother, forcing her to help him steal medical supplies, which he replaced with a deadly gas, that was being hauled to a village.”

“Batman knew what he had to do. Save people, forever saving people. Batman has always been a master of control, every situation, everyone around him. He’s always known just how to handle everything. Until I came along.”

“How could he be surprised? How could the great Batman not know? I wouldn’t listen to him and he couldn’t hear me. And the fucking cycle continues.”

The first part of the monologue is pretty simple it's basically setting the scene in time and space for the reader and it also gives us a little insight on how Jason was feeling at the time which was quite nice. It sets up the fact that Jason wanted to help his birth mother out of a horrible situation, he wanted to save her from the Joker. (Hear that DC, haters and fanon, Jason was a good Robin and a loving and caring son!!!!!)

In the second paragraph of the monologue I would have assumed that Dick never existed in this universe because the idea of Batman being able to control Robin!Dick or Gotham back in the day by himself is incredibly funny to me but because Dick exists and has been mentioned in this story already I will just take it as Zdarsky wanting to really push the “Jason could never reach the level of good Robin because he was reckless and nothing like Dick” and the “Dick was always completely obedient and Batman’s perfect little soldier” narratives. It sucks man, this is like bad fanon made real and I don’t like it!

During this part we also have a little dialogue between Batman and Jason where the narrative of Jason being so incredibly reckless is explicitly shown once more.

Let me repeat myself, Jason didn’t take on the Joker because he wanted to prove himself to the Bat or to prove that he was as good a Robin as Dick was, Jason did what he did because he wanted to save the last person that he had that he felt was family, he wanted to save the woman who birthed him and that he was hoping he could call a mother. He worried and cared for this woman and then he was betrayed and it ended up ending with him dying at the hands of a mad man that to this day is still alive.

Jason wasn’t reckless for the sake of being reckless, he took the decisions he took because he didn’t feel heard by the man that was supposed to protect him and care for him, a man that had the same feelings of sadness over being an orphan, a man that despite being the greatest detective to ever detective in the multiverse couldn’t understand that Jason felt like the woman that was his birth mother could come first in his list of priorities. Jason was a child and the adult responsible of him at the time bares the fault of his death as much as the mad man that committed the crime.

There, I fucking said it.

Gladly in the third paragraph of the monologue Jason calls out Bruce on his bullshit.

Also, what the hell was Bruce thinking leaving Jason stranded in the middle of the dessert, the man literally takes the only mode of transportation away from him. What the hell.

That’s it for the first glimpse at the past, now we are in the present with Ice!Jason where Zdarsky lies to our faces, he says that Jason is prepared for this situation…I am sorry but I do not believe this.

Anyway, Jason does manage to break the ice but he trips on the iced floor almost as soon as he breaks free and falls in a hole. Are you kidding me? I know this is supposed to be funny but Jason has been written as this incompetent dumbass in this book so much that this is just insulting.

He manages to escape for three or four seconds but he realises once more that the whole thing was a trap because Freeze had actually closed all the exists with ice because he meant to trap the Bat (also maybe Freeze is under the effects of Cheerdrops?), Jason also tries to use his guns even though he had already thought about the fact that they wouldn’t fire because of the cold AND he didn’t pack his explosives, yeah… “I am now prepared”, sure Jan.

The last thing we see in this scene is Freeze getting ready to ice Red Hood once more before we start jumping from past to present scenes as Jason’s monologue continues, he does that a lot in this issue, it’s quite impressive.

We jump into the past and we see Jason going to help his mother in his Robin suit, her betrayal and the Joker being ready to torture and kill a child. From there we go back to the present where Jason manages to ask Oracle for help but not anyone’s he asks for the Batman’s help.

First let’s talk about the monologue that happens across these scenes because it has some interesting takes.

“Stupid amateur, its not going to be okay, not if we keep repeating the same mistakes. He never trusted me, I never trusted him. Neither of us lived up to the idea of ‘Batman and Robin’, the ‘Dynamic Duo’. Because Batman and Robin requires trust, it requires knowing you can’t do it alone.”

Let’s be honest as per the modern take on Batman and Robin (if it includes Bruce as Batman) the dynamic is quite dysfunctional, Batman doesn’t know how to care for a child and children shouldn’t be responsible for an adult’s safety, so the whole thing has been weird for every Robin, its not something that happened only to Jason but here is the thing, in Under the Red Hood (which is canon in this story) when Batman and Red Hood fought side by side Bruce said the following: “…Neither of us has the strength to take him out, it will require skill and teamwork. It happens before I have time to question it, a manoeuvre that comes without thought, executed as practiced and practiced many times in the cave.”

So, him and Jason worked well, they trusted each other and the work they were doing but that is not all, because they are in the middle of a fight the Red Hood doesn’t act recklessly and takes the opportunity attack the Bat when he is vulnerable, he sticks to the coordinated fight because he trusts it will work. Batman’s thoughts confirm that because he continues saying this: “To complete it (the manoeuvre) I’m forced to leave myself unprotected from an attack, an attack from the Red Hood. But the attack never comes, he just takes cover from the blast, like practiced.”

– Batman: Under the Red Hood, chapter 10.

This thing alone, written in 2005 kills the narrative of Bruce’s Batman and Jason’s Robin not working well together.

Secondly, I have to laugh about what it's actually said in the very last panels. I am sorry but it's too funny to me, I know it acts as a parallel to Jason asking for the Bat when he was about to die but this is a man, a grown man that has experience on this job, this situation would have never happened if Jason was written fairly. This is funny because of all the people in the world I would never imagine the Red Hood asking for Batman’s help. Fuck that.

Oracle of course contacts Batman but let me say something really quickly, Barbara and Bruce are both acting like Jason getting in trouble and needing help is an annoyance. What the hell is wrong with these people? Why would Jason work with Oracle or Batman in the first place?

Batman gets in the Batmobile as soon as he can and dares call Jason his son. No thank you sir, I will not be taking that kind of bullshit today. Anyway, the Bat also has a monologue because he can’t be less, here it goes.

“Jason. Dammit, son. I’m on my way, I won’t let you…” (explosions) “You’re alive. In the here, in the now. I know this, like magic…with a curse…You’re alive.”

“I don’t need to be there again, in the past. I’ve learned my lessons, the guilt doesn’t help me, it doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. You’re alive, Jason and I intend to keep it that way.”

To this I have to say the following, the only reason why Bruce is not feeling guilty about what happened to Jason is because Jason forgave Bruce/Batman for not arriving in time in order to save Jason from the explosion back in that warehouse all those years ago. Jason forgave Bruce when the final confrontation happened in UtRH. He did it because he believed that Bruce tried and still didn’t make it.

- Batman: Under the Red Hood, chapter 13.

And something else, Bruce might have been “keeping Jason alive” but he has harmed him. Rebirth RHatO #25 exists, I don’t know if it's canon within this particular story but I can’t not bring it up if this is what this man has to say.

My take on the Batman and Red Hood relationship is that it shouldn’t exist. Red Hood is not a Batman villain but he IS a Batman antagonist. STOP making Batman and Red Hood work together, with how things ended in UtRH Jason would never work with Bruce again. I am sorry but the concept of the Batfamily with Jason as a willing participant is the biggest lie this fandom and Lobdell gave us.

Enough of my takes, let's go back to the issue because it's ending is closer and the funniest panels in this whole ass book are coming!

Batman does Batman shit and as he grapples out of the Batmobile, he manages to get Ice!Jason out of a truck and everything comes to a stop, the bad guys come out of said vehicle and one of them is going in Red Hood's direction with the intention of killing him, Batman of course saves Jason and starts fighting the rest of the baddies.

I will show you funny panel number one.

You really want to make me believe that Bruce can pull that move, shut up!!!! There is no way! That’s some Nightwing level of leg work, stop it, if the Bat pulls that move he will break something or get stuck like that…

Ahh it doesn’t matter because as Batman finishes defeating all the baddies he goes to Jason’s side and here is where funny panel number 2 comes!

STOP IT, WHAT THE HELL IS THISSS? I am losing my mind over this, have you ever seen something and thought “oh this is wrong wrong” like what? This interaction is so wild to me, everything about it makes no sense…Imagine putting Jason Todd in such a vulnerable position that he is, I don’t know, happy or glad that the Bat showed up and that Batman would say that he will always be there for Jason, this shit is hilarious.

But that’s not the end, at this point nothing should shock me (as far as character designs) but this dude shows up…

Who the hell is this guy, and why does he look like that, why are all these new character designs the same and horrible? He reminds me of the weird discount-Joker-looking dude that we had in Rebirth RHatO #52

Anyway, the new dude that will be called Cheer (apparently) and Freeze ice Batman as well and that’s it, our Red Hood related suffering is over up until next month!

This one, this one was wild, I don’t know what else to say about it…I am honestly drained after reading the issue and writing this.

Let me know what you thought about this issue and if you want to read my reviews of the previous parts I will link them here! Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3!

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #batman urban legends #urban legends red hood #red hood outlaw

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Note

I am looking forward to reading the continuation of the alternative ending of satisfied! Can’t wait! 😜

Happy Easter lmao here’s your monthly dose of depression ig

Though this one is slightly more lighthearted than usual

first part

next part

@solangelo252

The life of a captive of Bruce Wayne was surprisingly posh.

Maybe her standards were just really low because the last place she’d been held had been a lab where fear gas was tested on her almost daily(? her concept of time was fuzzy)... or maybe the Waynes just knew how to treat a kidnapee. Who knew.

But, hey, she’d been given a phone!

It was hacked, of course. Anything on the internet that even vaguely mentioned Bruce Wayne, the bats, or the Rogues was impossible to access. This had been a little annoying, but not necessarily unexpected. She was more surprised that they were giving her a phone at all.

She sat on the end of the bed, legs swinging like a toddler’s as she looked through twitter.

Gotham twitter just wasn’t the same, though. Where were the people joking about how they’d been praying for a Scarecrow attack so they wouldn’t have to take their finals? The underpaid cafe workers talking about how Batman had come in at 5am for coffee to get through the last leg of patrols and they had to turn him down because they weren’t open yet? Even the usual jokes about the Next Wayne(TM) were hidden from her! No, the internet almost seemed empty.

This left her with very few things to do. It wasn’t like she could request people to talk to her -- not that she’d wanted to, she didn’t want to bother them -- so… she was pretty much always working out or sleeping.

Working out was nice. She hadn’t been allowed to do it much while with Harley and it felt weird to be so out of shape. Who knew it could happen so fast? Certainly not her, and she was going to rectify her newfound lack of athletic ability. Dick even came by daily to help, so she was quickly getting back into the swing of things.

But as for sleeping...

Kwami, she missed caffeine.

Her subconscious was apparently determined to torture her.

(She supposed someone had to do it, since Joker hadn’t followed through on his intentions.)

Most dreams were haunted with memories of the stupid fear gas-induced hallucinations. The bats, now accompanied by Harley, would tell her exactly how much of a screw up she was. They’d give her disgusted looks and admit that they regretted ever talking to her or taking her in. And then they’d leave her, alone, surrounded by the corpses of she hadn’t been able to help.

She’d wake up crying and alone. She’d put on a random podcast and then wrap herself up in her blankets to try and trick her mind into thinking someone was with her.

And, when it wasn’t that dream, she found herself drowning in acid again. For such a short part of a series of unfortunate events, it sure did have an effect on her. She’d scream as the acid touched her skin, burned her lungs, tried to seep into her ear canals… and then she’d get pulled out to look at Joker’s smug face and she’d almost want to be pushed back under because she hated to see him looking so satisfied.

Those ones hurt. She’d wake up, her throat screamed raw, her lungs aching. Even hours later, she’d find herself running her hands over every bit of exposed skin to try and get rid of the feeling of the acid gnawing away at her.

The worst dreams, though, were the ones where she’d be visited by Bruce. Everything would go to plan. She’d stab him in the jugular and then pull the pen out, watching as blood spurted from the wound. He’d fall to the ground at her feet, unable to speak above the blood gurgling in his throat, and she’d just watch him. He didn’t even look betrayed, he just looked… he looked like he accepted it, like he accepted her and what she’d done and that he still cared for her after all that she’d done.

And then she’d wake up, but she never really felt awake when those dreams came. She felt like she was still half asleep, her body more limp than Bruce’s had been at the end of her dream, and any emotion she should have seemed impossible.

She hated the numb. At least she could do something with the screaming and the crying, at least she could bring herself down from those. How do you bring yourself down when you aren’t up in the first place?

But, maybe it was a good thing she was numb. It boded well for her. At least she wouldn’t be hurting if -- WHEN -- she managed to do it for real.

She turned off her phone, disappointed as always by how little content interested her, and almost cringed when she caught her appearance in the black screen.

Her skin was bleached from her time in the chemicals. The blood vessels under her eyes had burst when she’d been forced to go without coffee for too long. One of her cheeks were sucked in seemingly permanently from how often she’d been biting it. Her lips were stained cherry-red and stretched thinner than she remembered. Where her ears should have been were large holes in the sides of her head...

But nevermind that! The door slid open with a metallic hiss.

She didn’t know why she’d hoped it would be Bruce, she’d known perfectly well that that wouldn’t be happening for quite some time -- if ever -- but there she was, hoping it would be him. That this would end quickly.

Nope.

She looked up at Cass and Duke and her heart twinged painfully when she saw them.

She had missed them. So much.

(She’d almost been disappointed when she’d found out that they wouldn’t be home when she was going to try and kill Bruce, but then again she wanted them to continue liking her so maybe it was for the best she didn’t attempt to kill their father right in front of them...)

It was nice to see them again. Honestly, she’d missed them more than anyone else. They were her favorites.

(She couldn’t bring herself to feel bad about that. They were pretty much everyone’s favorites.)

She practically threw herself into Duke’s arms. He laughed and, though he struggled a little, he managed to catch her. She buried her face in his chest.

“Wow. I see how it is,” Cass said, but Marinette could hear the smile in her voice so she didn’t bother pulling away. Instead, she reached an arm in the direction of her voice and, once she’d managed to catch the sleeve of her shirt, dragged her into the hug.

The three Diversity Adoptees stayed like that for a long time.

And then she pulled back. “You guys better not have gone ahead in the show without me.”

Duke’s face twitched into a frown momentarily before he smiled again, ruffling her hair. “We didn’t. Scout’s honor.”

“You were a scout?”

He snorted. “God no.”

“Then --?”

“Shhhhhh,” he said, using the hand already in her hair to pull her into a noogie.

“Fuck offfffff,” she whined, trying to peel his knuckles away from her scalp.

Cass pulled her away from Duke. Strong arms wrapped her in a new hug and she blinked before returning it.

“Little sister. Leave her alone,” said Cass.

Marinette shot him a nasty grin from between her arms and Duke sputtered. “But I --.”

“Little sister,” she said again, like that explained anything. Maybe it did. Marinette didn’t particularly care because Cass was smoothing out her hair and it really did feel much better than the noogie she’d been getting…

She closed her eyes and leaned into her, relaxing.

Or, at least, she’d tried to relax. Until Duke sighed dramatically and said “Oh well, I guess I have five months of episodes to go through alone…”

“Wait --!”

She barely managed to lift her head up when she heard the door slide open, and then she bolted upright when she saw who it was.

Jason.

Her hand slid into her pocket, to the pen resting there, and she slowly pulled off the cap.

No. She couldn’t do that. If she tried to kill him then her pen would be confiscated and she couldn’t even imagine being able to kill Bruce with her bare hands.

(Granted, she didn’t really think she had a good chance of killing him with a pen -- it was a PEN -- but it the chances were more than 0% so it was overall way better than just trying to choke him out or something.)

She closed the pen and settled for glaring at him.

This fucker was the reason that she was there in the first place, and he hadn’t even given her an honorable battle that would have felt satisfying, what a --!

He held out a cup of coffee as a peace offering.

What an amazing person. Literally an angel. She loved him. Her favorite member of the batfamily.

If she’d had any less pride, she would have ran to get the coffee. As it was, she still speedwalked to take it off his hands.

The moment the drink touched her tongue, tension she hadn’t even noticed seemed to dissipate. The calm was quickly taken over by desperation, though. She had to fight herself not to chug it down.

(She also had to fight a wave of nausea, her body was not at all used to taking in any food or drinks anymore, but damn it she was going to get this coffee down if it killed her... again.)

Even with her super amazing self-restraint, the drink was gone within seconds. She swirled the remaining dregs, considering the pros and cons of trying to drink it because she remembered someone telling her that the last sip of drinks are always backwash…

But it was backwash that might have had caffeine in it, so she drank it.

She smiled brightly at him. Kwami, she’d missed caffeine so much. The only person who had given her coffee was Riddler the few times he had come to visit. Apparently Harley didn’t approve of it, though, because he had only brought her coffee three times before he’d suddenly stopped appearing.

… she hoped Riddler was still alive. She’d liked Riddler.

But she knew that asking about any of the Rogues would make the bats think that she wasn’t ‘healing’ up properly. So, instead of asking about him, she said “You know, B is gonna kill you for giving me coffee. I just got unaddicted.”

Jason groaned. “Great. Thanks for telling me AFTER you drank it all.”

“Of course. I wasn’t going to let you take it away from me,” she chirped.

He rolled his eyes. “Rude. Fine, I guess you won’t be addicted since it was only one cup. Can’t get in much trouble if I don’t give you more.”

Her eyes widened. “Wait --.”

“Yeah. I’d really prefer if the bats weren’t annoyed at me, so I guess that’s all you’re going to be getting.”

“Jay, wait, I didn’t mean it --.”

“Oh well,” he sighed. He brought a hand to his forehead like he was feeling faint. “If only I had an amazing little sister who would give me a hug --.”

She was wrapped around him before he’d even finished his sentence. Sure, it was blatant manipulation, but there was no way in hell that she was losing her one chance at caffeine.

(Besides, it was a hug. Hugs were nice.)

She’d spent the rest of the day with him, exchanging jokes about death.

The others didn’t really like them. Even Dick, who always liked a good pun, would only get sad when she joked about how she wasn’t alive anymore.

Jason, though… Jason understood.

And his death had been years ago. So he had a lot more jokes than she did.

“Ohohoh one time someone tried to flirt with me by saying they were a necrophiliac and I said ‘deadass?’ and…” He snickered. “And they said ‘yeah, exactly’.”

She brought a hand to her mouth, trying to hide her smile. “Oh my kwami, really?”

“I’m dead serious.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean, I’d say they were going to hell, but they’d probably like it there.”

He laughed a little, shaking his head.

“It’s nice having someone to make jokes with. Damian doesn’t like joking about it.”

“I know. He’s always all…” He screwed up his face and raised his voice to a whine “‘It is not a joking matter, Todd’.”

She gasped. “It’s almost like he’s here with us.”

“Uncanny, right?”

She closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax.

“... I missed you. We all did,” he said quietly.

She didn’t know what to say to that. Not really. She ended up just giving a tiny laugh and shrugging her shoulders.

His phone beeped in his pocket and she heard him shift to check it. He groaned. “Sorry, kid, I’ve got patrols.”

She nodded slightly and fell back on the bed with a yawn. “You’re coming back tomorrow, right?”

There was a beat.

She cracked her eyes open to see him considering the idea.

“Please?” She tried.

Another beat.

He broke into a grin. “You just want more coffee.”

“Guilty as charged,” she said, not even a little sheepish. “But I don’t mind the fact that you’re coming either.”

“I feel so loved.”

“You are,” she said, with a little pout thrown in for good measure.

He ended up agreeing to bring her coffee daily. She smirked after him. He wasn’t the only one that could manipulate people for things he wants.

Her smirk dropped the moment her hand slipped into her pockets and she realized he’d taken the pen from her when she’d given him a hug.

Bastard.

Her eyes flicked past her visitor briefly and she was met with a nondescript, white wall. She was pretty sure that this wasn’t Wayne manor, with it’s dark reds and browns, but she was almost willing to ignore that logic so she could believe that it was. At least if it was Wayne manor she might have been able to guess her coordinates by making portals appear in rooms at random until she found it. But if she was just… in a place then how was she supposed to ever get out?

She didn’t let this show on her face, because of all of them Dick was the most emotionally intelligent and would definitely notice. Instead, she beamed at him.

“Ready for our workout session?”

It was kinda weird, because it was so much like their old routine. They would stretch and talk and practice new moves… but it didn’t feel at all the same. Before everything had happened they had talked about meaningful things; list off their emotions and talk shit about the other bats (they loved them, sure, but they were a handful).

Now, though, neither of them were actually talking much. There was very little going on in her life, so she didn’t know what to say and he… he seemed to think she was weak or something, like she couldn’t take it. One time he’d almost slipped up and told her about how Tim was worrying him because he was getting borderline obsessive and then, when she’d politely pressed for more, he’d clammed up and told her that she didn’t need to worry about that.

She kind of didn’t like the sessions with Dick. They felt wrong.

But she really missed him and his octopus hugs that she could melt into. So she never told him and they kept doing them.

“Jason gave you coffee,” said Dick instead of greeting her.

“... I managed to do a triple backflip!”

He raised his eyebrows at her and she chose to interpret this as him being disbelieving of her ability to do a triple backflip from the ground (which was fair, she’d taken ages to manage it even once and she had nothing but free time) and not him noticing her feeble attempt at changing the subject.

“I did! Look!”

She tried and landed flat on her face. She could hear his strained breathing as he tried his hardest not to laugh. She wished the floor would just swallow her whole.

At least he wasn’t concerned about the coffee thing anymore?

He took a seat in front of her and she slowly raised her head to look at him despite the fact that she very much wanted to burrow into the floor and never emerge ever again.

“We have footage of it, so I’ve seen it, don’t worry. Tim was pretty proud of you so he showed everyone… and I’m proud of you, too, obviously. That took me years.”

She smiled brightly. Tim was apparently proud of her. She didn’t see much of him, so it was kind of nice to know that he was watching over her... even if it was a little creepy that there were people watching her pretty much every moment of every day to make sure she didn’t escape or kill herself.

“Seriously, though, I’m not letting Jason back if he keeps bringing you coffee.”

The smile on her face dropped and she bit the inside of her cheek. Part of her was kind of mad that Jason had taken the pen from her -- really, she should have figured out that that was what was going on, though, he was never the most cuddly -- and the other part was desperate for coffee.

The coffee addiction won out.

“But…” She sniffled a little and pulled tears to her eyes. She tried not to think about how easily they came. “But I need…”

Dick groaned quietly and she felt arms hook under hers and pull her into a hug.

“This isn’t going to work.”

She buried her face in his shoulder and let the tears fall.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“I can’t sleep,” she whispered. “Please. I can’t. Please.”

Ah. That was a little more genuinely vulnerable than she’d intended on being.

But, hey, it was working. She heard Dick’s breath catch at the admission.

“Why not?” He said softly, running a hand up and down her back.

Why he even bothered to ask, she didn’t know. The bats knew about her nightmares. They knew about everything she did, why would they stop when she fell asleep? But she hadn’t mentioned it up until that point and they hadn’t brought it up either.

Still, she mumbled “Nightmares.” She hesitated only slightly before adding that it was “Ironic that NightMare has nightmares, but...”

Dick gave a laugh and she felt herself smile at the sound. He always did like bad puns. Her smile dropped a little when he told her “You still need sleep.”

She laughed bitterly. “It’s not like I’m getting much of it when I wake up every ten minutes anyways.”

He sighed and she felt his head rest on top of hers. “I guess one cup a day isn’t that bad…”

She gave a halfhearted cheer.

“Would you like to talk about your dreams? Sometimes that helps...”

She didn’t even hesitate to shake her head no. She did, however, hesitate to pull away from the hug. She liked Dick’s hugs far more than she’d ever admit, and ever since she’d come back she’d liked them even more. He was just about the right size and just squishy enough for her to pretend she was getting a hug from Harley.

But, eventually, she managed to pull herself together and she pushed him off as gently as she could.

“Ready to workout?”

Dick was wearing a particularly sad look that she decided didn’t look right on his face.

But then he brought a smile to his face and nodded. “Bet you I’m still more flexible.”

“Probably, but don’t get used to it. Your days as the world’s best gymnast are numbered.”

“Hm. We’ll see.”

Damian.

She blinked at him. She really hadn’t expected him to… come by at all, honestly. Sure, they’d been getting along better than they’d used to and they were partners before she’d disappeared, but they weren’t partners anymore. He had no reason to come talk to her.

She smiled at him nonetheless. Company was company, and she wasn’t about to be picky when she was locked in a room for the foreseeable future.

“Dami!” She said brightly, crossing her legs criss-cross applesauce and then -- after thinking about it for a moment -- smoothed her dress out to make sure everything was hidden. (Damian was only a few months younger than her, she knew that logically, but some dumb part of her kept saying ‘child’.)

He regarded her for a moment before taking a seat beside her.

“Marinette,” he greeted carefully.

“Are you here for something?” She asked.

He hesitated, just slightly, and then nodded.

Ah. She wasn’t sure how she could be of help, compromised as she was, but she was certainly ready to try.

“I would like to know about my miraculous. Plagg has been… behaving oddly recently.”

Her smile slipped off her face at that. “Oddly how?” She said, eyeing his pockets like she believed the kwami would pop out at any moment and show her himself (which, granted, was entirely possible, but apparently not going to happen).

“He’s been more energetic. Less hungry. It doesn’t make sense.”

She thought about this for a few minutes, resting her head on her hand. Damian was right, that didn’t make sense… if anything, Plagg had been getting more laidback and mellow as time has stretched on...

Unless…

“Have you been using him?”

“... no. Is he just hyper from not being used, then?”

She stared at him, her head tipping to the side slightly as she considered him. Why wasn’t he using the miraculous? She would understand if it was a tactical decision to keep Catw -- was she called something else now that she was using the ladybug miraculous? -- Selina from using the miraculous as often, but it seemed he didn’t really know about that… so why…?

She pushed the thought from her mind. Maybe Damian just didn’t like the smell of Camambert. She wouldn’t blame him.

“It’s a balance thing. If the ladybug is used without the cat, the ladybug gets weaker and the cat gets stronger. Opposite thing happens when you use the cat without the ladybug. They’re meant to be used as a pair.” She clicked her tongue. “It probably doesn’t help that you’re on different sides.”

He nodded his understanding.

There was a beat as they just stood there (well, technically they were sitting, but whatever). She was kind of wondering why he was still there when he apparently didn’t need anything else from her, but what was she going to do? Tell him to leave? No. She was kind of desperate for the company of someone that wasn’t Jason or Dick (Cass and Duke only came by weekly so she didn’t mind them as much… also, they were Cass and Duke, so...).

He cleared his throat awkwardly, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Drake has informed me of your state.”

“I’m dead, yeah,” she confirmed.

He winced and his eyes fell to his lap. “I have also died before, if you would like to talk about it.”

She stared at him. She really hadn’t taken him for the kind of person who would offer moral support…

She pulled a smile to her face and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. Her smile became a little more real as she watched him scowl and wipe away the kiss.

“Thanks for the offer, Dami, but I’m fine.”

He gave her a skeptical look.

“Really. I’ll tell you guys as much as I need to for you to believe it: nothing much happened while I was there. Honestly, it was more boring than scary. So relax, I’m fine. I’ll live.”

And then, because she couldn’t help it, she added: “Well, that ship sailed long ago, but you know what I mean.”

He clicked his tongue. “Now I have to deal with terrible death jokes from you AND Todd? I wish I were dead.”

“You wish you were STILL dead, you mean?” She teased, reaching out to pinch his cheeks and breaking out into laughter when he swatted her hands away.

He rolled his eyes at her and then, with a short ‘Goodbye’, he left. She watched him leave, and the smile slid from her face in time with the door sliding shut behind him.

She fell back on the bed and closed her eyes. She didn’t get why people were so concerned about her. They’d faced worse. Hell, even SHE’D faced worse. Why were they making such a big deal about it?

Nothing had happened! Did they believe her when she told them that? She’d had no reason to lie, and she hadn’t been lying... and even if they’d thought she had they had Cass to prove she wasn’t. Hell, that was probably why Cass had come by at all, to check on her mental state! So why were they all so worried? They should know it was fine!

And even if she wasn’t fine (which she was!) it wasn’t like she didn’t have the same training as them. She could spot the victim questions from a mile away and she could even ask them to herself. She knew the answers, and she knew which ones she should be avoiding because she knew that they sounded way worse than they actually were.

Some vague part of her whispered that if anything sounded at all bad to the victim questions then she was, in fact, a victim. She buried her face in her pillow and gave a strangled scream of frustration. Now she had their stupid voices in her head telling her something was wrong, too.

She didn’t even look up from her phone when she heard the door slide open. Partially because she was kind of addicted to Geometry Dash and she wouldn’t win if she was looking up and partially because she could smell coffee so she knew who it was anyways.

“Thank fuck you’re here, Jay, I was --.”

“Sorry, but you’re going to have to wait a little longer for him, bean.”

Her eyes snapped to the door and her little box thingy on her screen died but she could hardly bring herself to care.

Tim!

Her face lit up. She hadn’t seen him in a while and she had really been missing him. Also, she noted vaguely, he was apparently healed from all of his injuries. Nice!

Except, as she scrutinized his face, she noticed he looked even more tired than usual. His skin was deathly pale, the bags under his eyes made him look like a raccoon, his hair hung limply around his face…

“Damn, and I thought I looked dead on my feet,” she teased softly to hide her concern.

He managed a smile and she waved him over to lay down with her. He hesitated before coming to sit beside her on the bed.

“When’s the last time you got some proper sleep?” She asked, tugging on the sleeve of his turtleneck to try and get him to lay down and cuddle with her. If she could get him to he might accidentally drift off.

He must have known what she was trying, because he resisted her attempts. “I’m fine. It’s been a while, but it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

She crossed her arms. “Fine. What’s wrong?”

He stared at her confusedly.

“You only get this bad when something is going on. What is it?”

He just kept staring at her and she shifted awkwardly.

“... bean…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s you. I’m worried about you.”

She groaned. “Not you, too.”

“Obviously I’m --.” He cut himself off and then mulled over his words for a bit. He decided on: “I don’t want to keep you here forever. I don’t want you to get ‘better’ because we Stockholm syndrome-ed you. Or re-Stockholm syndrome-ed you, since Harley already did it.”

“She didn’t --,” Marinette started, but she gave up on that. She knew they all didn’t understand it and arguing would probably only solidify their belief that Harley had messed her up in some way. Instead, she settled to address the rest of the statement: “I mean… I already liked you all beforehand so… it’s not like caring about you would be exactly NEW...”

“It’s still wrong.”

She gave a tiny shrug. “It’s not like you have any other options. I’d probably be doing the same thing if everything was reversed.”

“That doesn’t really make me feel better,” said Tim with a tiny shake of his head.

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the frown off of her face. “Then I don’t know what you want from me, Tim.”

He sighed. “I want you to get better.”

“Hard to do when I’m already fine.”

“But you’re not! You’re literally dead! How is that at all fine?!”

She rolled her eyes. She was getting a headache, though she wasn’t sure whether or not it was because of caffeine withdrawal (she was pretty sure Jason was supposed to have come in a few hours ago) or annoyance at repeating herself so many times. She pressed her cold hand to her forehead to try and alleviate it somewhat.

“It’s not even that bad, honestly. I can still drink coffee and sleep and that’s all I really care about. I can even feel pain! It’s pretty much the same except I don’t have to go to the bathroom and I can’t change clothes!”

Tim stared at her for a few moments before slamming his palm against his forehead. “That’s what it is!”

“Huh?”

“I thought something was weird about you being dead,” he explained, though it didn’t really explain anything. “Give me a minute, I’ll be back.”

She watched him practically run out the door and frowned confusedly. Sure, it was a little weird that she could still do most stuff, but that didn’t really warrant getting up in such a rush. Maybe the dead thing creeped him out more than he let on and he needed a breather?

So she picked up her phone and started playing Geometry Dash again while she waited for him to come back.

About an hour later she heard the door slide open and she raised her eyebrows at the sight of Tim holding a thermos and a plastic tray of food from Red Robin (the restaurant; anything he cooked was straight poison and if she tried it she might just die for real).

She watched him sit down with them. “You hungry?”

He shook his head and shoved them towards her. “They’re for you.”

Her confusion only seemed to grow.

“Sweetie, I don’t eat,” she reminded him, though she did take the thermos in case… nice! Coffee!

“Except you can if you want to, which is weird, right?”

She shrugged a little, not bothering to tear her lips away from her drink to give him a proper ‘I guess’.

“But where’s it going? Because you don’t go to the bathroom so it has to be used up in some way otherwise you would have probably exploded by now.”

She finished the drink and then set down the empty thermos beside herself. “Magic, probably…”

“Maybe,” he gave her, but that didn’t seem to put him out. “But then there’s the pain thing. Sure, it’s muted, but it’s definitely still there. Why should a dead person feel pain?”

“Because I’m not fully dead…?”

“Exactly!”

She shrugged again. “I really don’t see where you’re going with this.”

“What if you just need food or something to come back? Because you clearly had a headache, and it seems like it’s caffeine-related because you’ve relaxed a little since you had your coffee, which means we know that your digestive, nervous, and circulatory system are still working on some level...”

She stared at the food he’d given her.

“You think that if I eat enough I can come back.”

He nodded. “I know it’s a longshot, but we should at least try it, right?”

#lowkey asks like this stress me out #like i worry that if people are looking forward to something ill let them down #im off to psychoanalyze myself be back in a year #me. noticing something weird about myself: hey ferb i know what were gonna do today #anyways tags #alternate ending #alternative ending #i didn't even notice that i forgot the name lol but i dont wanna retag or anything so we use both #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #maribat #joker #harley quinn #harley quinzel

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cm-top-10 · 3 years

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C.M. Top 10: Powerful &/or Dangerous Items

There are many items I keep stored in times like this. Some that do good, but others that're too dangerous if in the wrong hands. So this ten features the most powerful & dangerous items known to man. & those you don't know what is or what it does, I'll gladly have them explained why.

1. AVP/Aliens - Xenomorph Royal Jelly

Royal Jelly is a unique & rare substance to find anywhere in any galaxy. Only way to find some is on the Xenos' homeworld of Xenomorph Prime or if some idiot &/or mad scientist happens to just stumble upon it somewhere.

But be careful what's dangerous about this stuff is that it has metamorphosis properties that effect only Xenomorphs. Because once a lower class Xenomorph gets their jaws on this stuff or eats enough of it, their body & system go through changes. & once fully morphed that particular Xeno who ate it will turn into a Hive Queen.

But just know other Xenomorphs during the Xeno-Anarchist have fought & killed each other over this stuff ever since their last Queen Mother died. & last I heard it was an enemy Red Xenomorph that ate the stuff to become a Red Queen Mother. So that's how important this ooze is to them, cuz they'll do anything to fill the powergap between the hives. & so far only two colored Xenos have waged war on each other over it.

2. The Dragon Prince - Sunforge Blade

Sunforge Elves are the finest blade makers in all the magik kingdoms of Xadia. But these are no mere knives no, these weapons are made in fires one could never imagine. In fact the blade still remains extremely hot to the touch as soon as it's forging is finished.

Its said to be so hot that it can even burn through walls in one slice. Even the thickest armor or strongest sword doesn't stand a chance to it's burning edges.

& to keep the owner from being burned by their own blade, a special satchel is made to hold it's temperature in check.

So remember kids don't play with hot knives.

3. SDBH - Dark Dragon Balls

Made by Dende against his own free will. Towa saw to it that a special set of Dragon Balls were made by her specifications. Thus the Dark Dragon Balls were born...

However these are no mere wishing orbs. When used they awaken an evil dragon named Dark Shenron who'll grant any evil desire that person wants, through evil content.

Once a wish is made, all seven spread across time & space until they're reunited again. However if so they'll form into the demonic Shadow Dragons of Shenron.

But if they don't the orbs will chose an evil host to attach itself to. Until a warrior is strong enough to take it from them by force. But fair warning, once a being is merged with a Dark Dragon Ball, their power skyrockets into something not seen before.

So be careful what you wish for...

4. Kaijudo/Duel Masters - Choten Armor & the Five Relics

With all five of these relics, the Choten was able to control all five Creature Monarchs in one summon. The Sword of Fiery Cataclysm, the Cloak of Dark Illusion, the Shield of Unity, the Helm of Ultimate Technology & the Heart of Light. When all five are used together, not just creature gods will be controlled. But all creatures of the Veil will be under your command.

But it's the main reason they're too dangerous to leave about. Which was why they were stored away for safe keeping.

5. Transformers Prime - the Dark Star Saber

The Dark Saber is one of Megatron's greatest creations. Though it has not yet slain a Prime, it's still the most powerful weapon he's ever created from Dark Energon.

Like Optimus' Star Saber it can slice through anything, even a mountain. It can even send a powerful slice wave through the air, making it feel like you've been hit by a cutting shockwave.

Though after Starscream's defeat after using the Dark Star Saber, the Autobots smartly locked it away. Where nobody will ever get it. Probably for the best it remains locked away.

6. DC Universe - Blue Lantern Power Battery

Now the reason this little baby is on the list. Is because this Blue Power Battery has enough juice to power up not just Blue Lanterns. But can also full-power a Green Lantern's ring power tenfold!

The blue charge is so powerful it makes a Green Lantern feel like a new man.

Reasons why the Green & Blue Lantern Corps have been allies. & due to the two colors' relationship with each other. That Blue Element energy can surge a Green one's power full blast & can make it's user feel unstoppable.

7. Star Wars - Darksaber

Now this saber has alot of history. & tons of previous owners who just either lost it in battle or just managed to pass it down to someone else. But this saber can only be earned by one-on-one combat only.

& only the strongest shall wield it! Darth Maul was one of the previous owners. Though he was not Mandalorian, he still used it like he was made for it. However this weapon has even lost previous owners over the years.

Most even rumored that those who held it always ended up dead. Which is why not many Mandalorians went looking for it.

& hopefully Mando doesn't end up the same fate & curse...

8. Dofus: Kerub's Bazaar - Ecaflip's Sword of Nine Tails

As weird as this weapon is Ecaflip's Sword of Nine Tails is a powerful weapon. This very sword is what even brought him into godhood.

By sacrificing his nine tails except the one attached to him to this day. He used that very sword to cut the multiple heads of the 9 Headed Hydra during battle. Thus making him a hero to all.

Reasons why this sword is dangerous is because it can literally slice through anything. & it can withstand the burning fires of hell. Which was perfectly made for the battle against the Hydra.

In other words Ecaflip made one hell of a sword!

9. Batman vs. TMNT - Joker Mutagen

What makes this worse than all the other items is that this particular mutagen is a cocktail mixture between the T.G.R.I. mutagen & the A.C.E. chemicals Joker uses to make his infamous Joker Gas. One injection of this vile ooze & you mutate into the last thing you touch, only with a psychotic aftereffect to go with it.

Luckily this stuff was destroyed before it could reach Gotham & mutate it's people into mad mutations.

10. Marvel Universe/Death Battle - the Continuity Stone

For those who don't know about the Continuity Stone, or Canon Stone as most people call it. Was a lost Infinity Stone made the same way as the other 6...well 7 counting this one. Anyway the Continuity Stone has the power to literally rewrite any form of reality it's user, namely Deadpool wants it to be. But what's really dangerous about this stone is that it warps Wade's mind most worst than it already is.

That & he gets carried away sometimes with the reality jacking so best it stays locked up.

Deadpool: AWE!! Come on man! I said I'd use it responsibility!

Wade you're not getting it back till you behave & stop messing with reality. & get off my 4th Wall or I'll tell Harley & Death about last year's Christmas party! 💢

Deadpool: Hmph...fine! (-3-)💢

#C.M. Top 10 #Top 10 #My Top 10 #Dangerous Items #Items #Powerful Items #Xenomorph Royal Jelly #Sunforge Blade #Dark Dragon Ball #the Five Relics #Choten Armor #the Dark Star Saber #Blue Lantern Power Battery #Darksaber #Ecaflip's Sword of Nine Tails #Joker Mutagen #the Continuity Stone #my screenshots #cameraman screenshots

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

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Longitudinalwaveme Reviews More Old Comics (and One New One), Part 1

I’m going to be doing these reviews in chronological order, starting with the oldest of the bunch.

Batman #292: “The Testimony of the Riddler”

This issue is actually the second part of a four-part story, “Where Were You On the Night Batman Was Killed?” Basically, everyone thinks Batman is dead, and a bunch of his villains are coming forward to claim the honor of being his killer. Catwoman’s claim was dismissed last issue; now it’s Riddler’s turn.

The mock trial that the villains have set up to determine the identity of the killer is amazing. Ra’s al Ghul is the judge, Two-Face is the prosecutor, and the jury is composed of the Mad Hatter, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze before B:TAS gave him a good costume, Scarecrow, the Signalman (*snicker*) and the Spook, who I only know as the D-Lister beheaded by Damian Wayne.

The Riddler begins his testimony, regaling everyone with riddles (some of which seem more like jokes, but whatever), and telling them about a crazy criminal caper he launched, during which time he posed as Bruce Wayne in order to steal a ridiculous jeweled typewriter ( “made of gold, platinum, and ivory...its keys studded with diamonds and rubies...its ribbon made from a Ming Dynasty robe....and its case encrusted with emeralds!”).

Amusingly, since Riddler doesn’t know Bruce Wayne is Batman, his Batman is not at all surprised to come across “Bruce Wayne” at the party. Batman ends up following the Riddler’s clues to find the Riddler and the ridiculously fancy typewriter in a quarry, whereupon the Riddler uses a knife he has to cut a rope that was holding some rock slabs. According to Riddler, the slabs fell on Batman, pinning him. Riddler then blew him up with dynamite (which he set off using a latern’s flames).

As soon as he finishes his testimony, Two-Face calls him a liar; gets permission to take the entire court outside, sets up a deathtrap using the dynamite Riddler claims he used to kill the Batman, and orders the bailiffs to tie Riddler to the trap and light it all on fire.

They do, and the Riddler promptly passes out. Two-Face then walks onto the trap himself, and nothing happens. As Two-Face explains, “dynamite does not explode in fire! It can be lighted only by electric spark or percussion!”

Riddler is eliminated as a potential candidate and escorted from the courtroom (with an apparent $25,000 fine for the dynamite display).

Several other claimants retract their claims, and Ra’s adjourns the court for the day.

Also, Bronze Age Riddler makes a surprisingly convincing Bruce Wayne, all things considered (this was back when he still had black hair; rather than red).

Batman #293, “Luthor’s Testimony”

This issue takes up immediately where the last one left off, with Lex Luthor of all people taking the stand in the costume you can see in the picture above. It’s...certainly something, all right.

Cluemaster, Killer Moth, the Cavalier, and some random gangsters are also at the trial. Most are impressed by Luthor’s amazing(ly hilarious) new outfit, which I’m pretty sure he only ever wore once (for this trial).

Luthor does his usual grandstanding before launching into the story of his latest plot to kill Superman.

Said plot involved a fake robbery to lure Batman into a trap that would allow Luthor to put Superman’s mind into Batman’s body.

Luthor then punched Superman-in-Batman’s-body to death and launched the body into space. Luthor says that now he’s leaving to go back to Metropolis, where he’ll put his own mind into Superman’s body so that he may become Super-Luthor.

Two-Face proceeds to demolish Luthor’s story, first by calling in one of Luthor’s goons to reveal that Batman had infiltrated Luthor’s gang by posing as a henchman, and then calling in Superman himself to prove that, in fact, Superman’s mind is still in its body. Superman just dressed up as Batman and pretended to be Superman-in-Batman’s-body to fool Luthor.

Exposed as a liar, Luthor storms out of the room, but not before yelling at Two-Face for “colluding with Superman” and insulting the criminal pretensions of everyone in the room.

Also, Two-Face somehow managed to convince Superman to grant every villain in the courtroom amnesty. (Although if I’m remembering the fourth part of the story properly, I think “Two-Face” is really Batman in disguise, explaining why he was so easily able to get into contact with Superman and probably making the amnesty fake.)

The comic ends with the Joker’s signature laughter; he’ll be the last villain to give testimony in front of the kangaroo court. Sadly, I don’t have that issue, so I won’t be reviewing it here.

Batman #296, “The Sinister Straws of the Scarecrow”

Scarecrow has henchmen he calls “Strawmen”. They have weird costumes and exist to give him someone to deliver all his lectures to and test his fear gas on. As usual, his speeches to his underlings sound...well...like simplified college psychology lectures.

Otto the burly henchman’s deepest fear is Batman. What a surprise.

Phobias namedropped by the Scarecrow (and narration boxes): phobophobia (the fear of fear), pyrophobia (fear of fire), algophobia (fear of pain), pathophobia (fear of illness), taphephobia (the fear of being buried alive), inutilophobia (the fear of not being able to carry on one’s work) and “chiropterhomopobia”. The last is especially interesting since it’s not actually a real word; it’s a fictional one that manages to effectively follow the formula used for naming phobias. “Chiropterophobia” is the fear of bats. “Homophobia”, in this case, is the fear of men (homo referring to our species name, homo sapiens); therefore chiropterhomophobia would be the fear of bat-men. Good work with conjugation there, writer!

Anyway, the Scarecrow uses a crook named Skibo’s taphephobia to convince him to give them the location of the turnpike bond money he stole from Gotham City’s National Bank several months ago.

The next day at the bank, the money is returned, puzzling Bruce Wayne. Wayne goes to interrogate a crook who talks in confusing criminal slang, who tells him that Skibo was the one who fenced the stolen bonds.

Batman tracks Skibo down...and finds him being assaulted by the Scarecrow, who believes that the bonds he returned to the bank were counterfeit. This is problematic for the Scarecrow because it suggests that Skibo was able to withstand his fear of the Scarecrow and disobey his orders, which would interefere with his ability to intercept criminals who are obeying his orders to return stolent money and take the money for himself.

Batman, Skibo, Scarecrow, and his goons get into a free-for-all that ends up causing an explosion. In the chaos, Scarecrow and the goons escape and Batman gets information out of Skibo about the Scarecrow’s plans.

Scarecrow and his goons then go after a thief who stole a valuable Gutenberg Bible, but before they can use the fear toxin on him, Batman shows up and they use it on him instead. It affects Batman, but he shakes it off and manages to defeat the Scarecrow and his goons as well as capture the thief who stole the Guetenberg Bible.

The story ends with Batman telling Commissioner Gordon that he found the case exhilarating.

All-in-all, a pretty standard Scarecrow story.

Batman #308, “There’ll Be a Cold Time in the Old Town Tonight”

Some guy named Jacob Riker has betrayed Mr. Freeze. The man in question is promptly murdered by Freeze and his henchmen.

In this issue, Mr. Freeze is wearing an outfit that’s reminiscent of Captain Cold’s, but with a bubble-helmet and pink shades.

Catwoman shows up in Bruce Wayne’s office to tell him that she’s reformed and wants to invest money in Wayne Enterprises. Bruce agrees, and also agrees to meet her for dinner at some point next week. She also brings a cat with her to this meeting, because of course she does.

Lucius Fox introduces Bruce Wayne to his daughter, Tiffany, who works in a drug rehabilitation program sponsored by the Wayne Foundation. After exchanging pleasantries, Bruce tells Lucius to give him a complete rundown on what Selina’s been up to, presumably so that he can know if she’s on the level.

He moons over Catwoman for a bit before getting called into action by the Batsignal, and he subsequently arrives at the scene of Riker’s murder. The guy is frozen solid and very dead.

Some rich guy name Mr. McVee comes to Mr. Freeze; he’s exchanging all his wealth in exchange for the promise of immortality.

Unfortunately, the process turns the man into a Popsicle zombie. His body is alive, but his brain is dead.

Also, Mr. Freeze has a girlfriend named Hildy, whom he loves and is planning to make immortal (as he himself effectively is). Unfortunately for him, she does not reciprocate his feelings and is using him solely as a means of staying young forever. Interestingly, she’s blonde, just like Nora usually is (Nora, of course, didn’t exist at the time this was written).

Meanwhile, at STAR labs, a medical treatment goes wrong and kills somebody.

Batman finds and breaks into Mr. Freeze’s hideout...and is promptly attacked by Mr. Freeze and his Popsicle zombies. Mr. Freeze dubs them his “Ice Pack”.

Mr. Freeze manages to take Batman out of the fight by freezing his legs, which causes him to fall to the floor. This allows him to be captured by the Popsicle Zombies and put inside Mr. Freeze’s immortality machine.

Batman is apparently turned into another mindless Popsicle zombie as Mr. Freeze exposits about how lonely his life is and how much he loves Hindy.

Mr. Freeze leaves Hildy in the room with the Popsicle zombies, at which point Hildy starts to talk to Batman about how she thinks he’s cute and she’d rather be immortal with him rather than with Freeze (who she’s planning to kill in any case).

Unfortunately for her, Mr. Freeze overhears her and is predictably furious, pointing his Freeze Ray directly at her face.

Batman saves her from an icy fate by attacking Mr. Freeze, revealing as he does so that he had only pretended to be frozen by the machine (having disconnected several of the building’s extra power lines). Cue another fight with Freeze and the Popsicle Zombies.

Batman uses a piece of ice to break Freeze’s bubble helmet; preventing him from giving any more orders to the Popsicle Zombies. He then fights Freeze some more. The Freeze Ray goes flying and gets grabbed by Hildy, who plans to kill both of them. Unfortunately, the gun backfires on her and she’s killed instead. Mr. Freeze is arrested.

Meanwhile, we learn that the dead guy was the Blockbuster, Mark Desmond, and that he isn’t quite as dead as the people at STAR Labs think.

Justice League of America #167, “The League That Defeated Itself!”

The splash page is of Superman punching Hal Jordan Green Lantern in the face.

The explanation is pretty quickly forthcoming: the Secret Society of Super-Villains has swapped bodies with the Justice League. The Wizard from Earth-2 is in Superman’s body, Professor Zoom the Reverse-Flash is in Green Lantern’s body, Plant-Master is in Wonder Woman’s body (ew), Star Sapphire is in Zatanna’s body, and Blockbuster is in Batman’s body.

The real Justice League are trapped in the bodies of the villains and locked in a cube-shaped cell. Superman guides Hal into using his new super-speed to help them break free of the cube.

The Joker stars in a Hostess Fruit pie ad!

The villains have left for Earth, leaving the heroes (who are trapped in their bodies) alone on the JLA Satellite, along with an unconscious Red Tornado, whom they promptly wake up.

Naturally unaware of the switch, the Tornado attacks them and they fight. Zatanna manages to bring the tornado down using Star Sapphire’s powers, and the JLA go off to find their bodies on Earth, with Batman telling Zatanna that she’ll have to reverse the spell as their only magician.

Green Lantern gets some information out of Hijack (who I think is a member of the Royal Flush Gang) by pretending to be Reverse-Flash. The information helps them locate the Society’s HQ.

As soon as they break into the building, however...they’re promptly incapacitated by Green Arrow (except for Zatanna, who remained outside). Green Arrow is suspicious of the way Superman is behaving and decides to keep an eye on him and the others who “located” the HQ of the Secret Society.

Justice League of America #168, “The Last Great Switcheroo”

This issue picks up where the last issue left off. Ollie and Hawkman are supsicous about the behavior of their allies, while Black Canary ad the Elongated Man don’t think anything unusual is going on.

Eobard traps the “villains” in a diamond cell, and then the Wizard chucks the diamond into another dimension!

The Wizard covers for himself by claiming that the “villains” have been put into “time-stasis” by “Green Lantern”’s ring. “I just tossed the diamond into an orbit around the solar system! They’ll remain there until science perfects criminal rehabilitation.” For some reason, everyone except Green Arrow immediately accepts this excuse.

Red Tornado breaks free of the trap Zatanna-in-Star-Sapphire’s-Body had to put him in last issue and criticizes the decisions he made in the fight with them.

Zatanna then arrives on the satellite and convinces Red Tornado of the swap that’s taken place.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, the Secret Society and the remaining members of the Justice League are, at least allegedly, guarding some jewels for the Mexican government. Elongated Man, Hawkman, and the Flash are also becoming suspicious of their supposed allies.

And then Eobard ruins everything in the most Eobard way possible: forcing a kiss onto Black Canary!

The real Justice Leaguers fight and defeat the impostors (except for the Wizard, who left to “patrol the city”)...but before he can step in to salvage his plan, Superman uses the Wizard’s own magic to take his body down.

Zatanna reverses the mind-swap, and the day is saved.

Was it this story that later got retconned to include more mindwiping thanks Identity Crisis, or am I thinking of a different storyline?

Flash #275, “The Last Dance”

In this issue, Iris Allen dies!

The story starts with Barry in the grip of a teenaged girl with ESP powers (no, really. Cary Bates, the issue’s writer, really liked the paranormal). His marriage with his wife Iris has been struggling, and she fears that he might be cheating on her.

She’s also spying on him by bugging his costume rings with “micro-mini homing signal devices”, which just goes to show that literally anyone in the DCU can invent amazing technology at the drop of a hat.

Stalking the stalker is Clive Yorkin, a character from the plot thread that’s been building up to this issue. He’s kind of based off of the brainwashing scene in A Clockwork Orange and hates the Flash and Barry Allen.

The teenager uses her mental powers to force the Flash to meet her at a motel and take off his mask, which he does. She’s apparently disappointed by the results, complaining that there’s nothing remarkable about him, and promptly storms out.

Iris arrives in her car just as the girl storms out, and discovers that she’s coming from the room that her tracker has Barry in. She storms inside and accuses Barry of cheating on her, then runs out in tears.

Also, right before she storms out, Barry looks at himself in the mirror and thinks “ “Ordinary”? What in blazes is that supposed to mean? I may not be Robert Redford...but I always thought I was sort of sexy...at least, that’s what Iris told me.” It’s mildly hilarious.

Iris promptly gets into a car wreck with a tanker truck. Barry manages to save both her and the two truck drivers from the massive explosion that this causes.

Barry convinces Iris that he wasn’t cheating and the two promptly make up.

Meanwhile, Mysterious Shadowy Man on the Phone tells someone to kill Barry Allen at a philanthropist’s upcoming costume party for all of the employees of Central City’s government (e.g., police officers, firefighters, etc.) The Mysterious Shadowy Man on the Phone will eventually be revealed to be the corrupt police chief of Central City, Chief Paulson.

Iris and Barry decide they want to have kids, then kiss. D’awww!

Iris’ costume for the party arrives; she’s going as Batgirl. Barry was planning to rent a Batman outfit, but it was already rented, so Barry ends up going to the costume ball dressed as himself (that is, the Flash).

Clyde Yorkin is still stalking both of them.

Barry’s friend from work, Frank Curtis, arrives to pick the couple up. Hilariously, he’s also dressed as the Flash.

The theme of the party is “Dress as Your Favorite Super-Character”. Iris comments “it’ll be interesting to see whether we get more heroes or villains!”...which raises a question: Namely, why is everyone totally okay with people dressing up as people who are, in their world, real costumed criminals? That’s always seemed odd to me.

Clive Yorkin sneaks into the trunk of Curtis’ car and slips out as the other three head for the party.

Inside the mansion, we see a huge number of people dressed up as famous DC characters, including Hawkgirl, the Calculator, Heat Wave, two Green Lanterns, Zatanna, Aquaman, Green Arrow, two Black Canaries, Abra Kadabra, Batman, Wonder Woman, Professor Zoom the Reverse-Flash, Star Sapphire, Supergirl, Pied Piper, Poison Ivy, Captain Cold, the Golden Glider, the Top, mustachioed Superman, some guy in a purple costume I can’t ID, Mirror Master, the Golden Age Sandman, and Captain Boomerang.

The Golden Age Sandman is actually an assassin in disguise; he was hired by Chief Paulson to get rid of Barry Allen before he discovered his corruption; he drugs Barry by “shooting” him with his Sandman gun. One of the Green Lanterns is actually Hal Jordan, who pops up to say hi to Barry and Iris. A later story will reveal that the Captain Boomerang in this issue was the real Captain Boomerang, and that some of the other Rogues were also actually at the party so they could, quote, “party and pick pockets”. Yet another subsequent issue will reveal that the Reverse-Flash at the party was in fact the real Eobard. So...which of the other Rogues do we think were at the party? We know that the Captain Cold isn’t real; he’s “Phil from Vice”. That means that the Golden Glider alongside him is probably not the real one either, and it seems unlikely that the Top here is the real one, since he was dead at this point. So that leaves the Pied Piper, Mirror Master, and Heat Wave as possible candidates.

Chief Paulson calls Barry to meet him in his office at 9 AM the next day; Barry agrees but notes that the man seems oddly tense.

Curtis, still dressed as the Flash, goes outside for a smoke break and gets jumped by Yorkin, who mistakenly believes him to be Barry (until he rips his mask off, at which point he just throws him off the balcony.)

Barry sees a Green Lantern making the moves on Iris and gets upset until Hal reveals that he’s the real Green Lantern and congratulates them on their plan to become parents. He then flies out the window, and somehow all the party goers are fully convinced that it’s just a really elaborate costume. Huh?

Iris tempts fate by saying that “this might be the happiest moment of my life!” The two go off together to get some privacy...but then Barry begins to feel dizzy, as though he’s been drugged. Iris goes into the bathroom to get him some water...and then Barry hears her screaming! He bursts into the bathroom to see Iris on the floor, with Yorkin standing over her. Yorkin then jumps out a window as Barry runs to his wife.

A bunch of the guests, including Mustachioed Superman, burst into the room to see what the commotion is, and Barry passes out. Curtis bursts in a few seconds later to learn that one of his friends needs a hospital....and that the other is dead! It’s a very effective cliffhanger.

#flash comics #batman comics #justice league #flash rogues #dc comics

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mxrekai · 4 years

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You see this tweet? This tweet right here?

It’s gross and I’ll tell you why, and I’ll break down the article as well because it makes me as angry as a bull.

You simply CAN NOT break these characters down to these (biased!) individual traits. And in Jason’s case, it’s not even a trait, it’s just damn slander with a photo of him dead attached to it, because DC still likes to push the narrative that it’s his fault he died. When in reality, he was a CHILD who was tricked and betrayed by his mother, and in the end still tried to save his mother who was responsible for his death. Joker and Sheila are responsible for this child’s death, NOT HIM.

These are all incredibly complex characters, with incredibly biased descriptions.

For Dick (the only one with his hero name for some reason), the oversexualized Robin by the fandom is more like it rather than ‘the cute Robin’. Which is kinda sad because he has a lot of depth that can be explored and stories that have been told that are really great (not Ric, screw that guy). Like his relationship with Bruce, his relationship with Damian, his relationship with his teams, his life outside of heroism, police life, dealing with his mental health, etc.

From what we’ve seen if I had to pick a single descriptor for him, I’d pick “The protective Robin” or “The first Robin”

Because he’s always willing to throw himself into harm's way to save others. Especially when it comes to his found family. Or the first Robin works well because he was the first. He started the whole Robin line.

For Tim, I’m sorry but I can’t really comment on Tim because I haven’t read his run yet, it’s on my to do list. But from what I have seen from other comics that include him, ‘the smart robin’ doesn’t fit very well because to be Robin they ALL had to be smart. And they all were smart Robins.

If I had to describe Tim, it would be “the detective Robin” because out of all of them, he is the best detective and is the most proficient at it.

For Damian... oh boy, I’m so sorry but he’s not my favorite Robin at all. But I know he’s complex and has depth. If anyone who reads this is a Damian stan, feel free to add onto this and tag me.

And last but definitely not least... Jason Todd.

This whole tweet and the article attached is Jason Todd slander (not what I pay for the DC Universe app for!) and a misrepresentation of his character.

“The Robin we’d like to smack some sense into.”

He👏was👏not👏a👏bad👏robin👏

He was a CHILD who just wanted to help and make a difference! He wanted to help the people in crime alley because he knew what it was like to be in that situation and he wanted to save people! When he first put on his Robin suit it gave him MAGIC. He had Robin magic but that Robin magic wasn’t enough to save him from getting beat to death by the joker.

Yes, sometimes he did not listen but that goes for EVERY robin, my girl Carrie Kelly included.

He had sense, he was also a child who made mistakes! Like all the other Robins!

Then he was brought back under the WORST possible circumstances, to come back and find out his death had little to no impact (unbeknownst to him of Bruce’s grief). Then go under some intense training, deal with pit madness, have his mind tainted with, then grow some problems with the man he loved who took care of him. His father.

If I had to pick a label for Jason? It’d be the discarded Robin. He was this boy who was thrown away by the fandom at the time by murder. Then like a broken toy, the writers proceeded to get a new Robin.

Or the redeemed Robin. When Jason was reborn as Red Hood, overtime he became a fan favorite in the DC community. Even won DC’s sexiest man. He was hated at first but is now loved by many.

Heck, maybe even that label because he’s grown from his first resurrection so much. Instead of being angry at the world, he’s now chosen to accept what happened to him and even reconcile his relationship with his family.

Or even the

Now onto the article...

Holy moly, this article sucked all the life out of me until I was left DCeased (get it?). It is way too obvious an angry stan wrote this.

Oh. My. God.

How is this in any way Jason’s fault? I don’t recall him having the ability to write his own comic book? This is the writers fault, not Jason’s.

Onto the second one.

Okay, sure it was rude to interrupt them, I’ll give them that one. But I’m also pretty sure Jason’s insert was for comedic effect. Tons of comic books have these moments.

I had to laugh at the “SO NATURALLY JASON TODD DID SOMETHING ANNOYING TO INTERRUPT IT” it’s just, damn. This article just reeks of bitterness.

This one confused me, so I went to go read the comic book that they were talking about. This, once again, was intended to be a comedic moment. Jason was simply expressing his excitement for going to go to the Gotham library so he blurts our “Holy Gutenberg!”. Bruce spins him around and tells him to never do that again. Even Jason’s confused on why he doesn’t like the reference. I think this is simply comedy, such as when he threatens to fire Carrie if she moved the batplane in the animated movie.

If a crowbar was right there Bruce NEVER would have grabbed it to hurt Jason over a REFERENCE. No sane person would.

Let’s look at the keywords here,

“Nightwing took a heavy dose of Scarecrow’s fear gas and had an extended nightmare about an alternate life.”

Once again, YOU WANT TO BEAT JASON UP FOR SOMETHING OUT OF HIS CONROL, AND NOT HIS FAULT? TO TOP IT OFF, NOT REAL?

Want someone to blame? Blame Scarecrow and the fear toxins for making Dick see all that. This was an alternate dream reality, no characters were in control or even there.

Yknow what, valid. Honestly, I’m pretty sure the heroes there have memorials elsewhere as well and Jason only got that robin suit on display (which was honestly more so to remind Bruce of his failure and make himself feel guilty), but fair.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, this better have been some abstract marketing (which I hope it was) for the new Death in the Family movie coming out.

All in all, the Jason slander from DC was infuriating and frankly unnecessary. He deserves so much better because once again, he is a complex character who deserves a deep dive.

Please remember that this is just my two cents/opinion, and it is totally okay if you disagree with anything I said here.

Have a good day :)

#Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Red Hood #Red Robin #Carrie Kelly #I saw this tweet and got to WORK #this was longer than expected #that dive on the article was improvised #We don't stand for Jason Todd slander in this household #Or Dick or Tim slander

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captainshazamerica · 3 years

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Dude dude dude crane dancing weirdly and laughing like a maniac to himself is such rogues vibes I love it so much 😅 I want all the gc and cc rogues to hang out in a big warehouse somehere like this hahaa

I'm so confused about jason being buried there's no way bruce buried an empty coffin I feel like bruce 100% would have looked at jasons body in the coffin just to like cement the grief and physiologically torture himself tbh, Bruce couldn't have buried an empty coffin so ahh maybe he did but like how would he not have known it was empty!? Honestly I was not expecting the lazarus pit until I saw the episode name and I dunno what comic it's from but I'm pretty sure there's one where jason did die was buried and woke up in the coffin alive for like no reason no pit needed, I dunno I just like the version of him actually being buried and coming back to life just for some pure unknown mystery reason or maybe I just made that up in my head I have no clue lol

Crane sent one sad upset little kid messed up on anti fear toxin to The Joker! BOY WHAT Crane knew he was gonna get killed so did crane know that bringing him back to life and drugging him would allow him some level of control over jason, it seems like crane is masterminding the entire thing and j is just basically his pet/henchman, also in the future when he's hopefully off the anti-fear toxin is he still gonna be not quite himself cuz of the effects of the pit?

The phone to call to hank I really want jason to have meant that like maybe he hadn't dosed up on toxin yet and he was able to actually feel and sought out hank to help him but then took the toxin after the call and just did a 180 and decided to do that bomb thing instead or was that all cranes idea

Bruce telling him he's not robin anymore in an attempt to save him from the dangers of Gotham is literally what gets him killed, poor Bruce, I NEED a scene of bruce and jason together again or at least just Bruces reaction to the fact that jason is still alive BRUCE CALLING HIM SON 😢 and technically jason admitted to seeing him as his dad in the word association thing with doc thompkins

THE DREAM THING WITH DONNA I freaking LOVED that (she looked so cool) but it was like he was being warned by the universe/weird dcu magic or maybe even donna herself warning him about his future as redhood to try to stop all that from happening to him because those dreams were happening before crane/joker killing him, I need to rewatch that, THAT IS SO COOL! was he able to see the redhood suit in his dream cuz if he did maybe that's why he chose the suit cuz he seen it in a dream and was afraid of it and now he's all about not being afraid so that's why he chose that as his suit, I'm assuming his suit choice was his idea and crane didn't plan the outfit for him 😅

BRO CRANE DANCING LIKE THAT WAS EVERYTHING HOLY CRAP. LIKE THATS SO FREAKING IN CHARACTER (almost Fanon tbh xD). That made Scarecrow loving butt so happy omg xD Dc is finally giving people what they want!!! Lmao, can you even imagine the chaos of the gotham and CC rogues all together like that omg, someone needs to make art or fic of that man xD

Oh yeah, I guess that is the one thing they didnt address. Idk, this Bruce was disassociating from Jason dying so much that Im not sure he would look in the coffin cause that would be acknowledging the truth which he was in clear denial in until he snapped and killed the joker. But yeah, that would have been cool. Yeah that is the comics version, the explanation was superman messing with the universe or some typical dc crap like that xD They went with the animated movie version, well, closer to that version, in terms of the Lazarus pit bringing him back. I like how like a month ago we were talking about how we doubted they were gonna use the Pit but look at that they did!

I freaking KNEW Crane was the mastermind behind most of it(and used Jason's already messed up self and emotions ), like from that first episode when he took the gas I was like I BET THAT IS ANTI FEAR TOXIN! xD But i loooveee how they are giving us a manipulative af Crane, you rarely see that in media!

Oooh yes the phone call, I do wish they had like def confirmed that it was Jason off the gas, which like i think they implied but i want confirmation lol. But yeah, I am def thinking he was off his drugs when he first made that call cause his demeanor during the 2nd call was a lot more like when he is on the gas.

THE BRUCE AND JASON SCENES KILLED ME OH MY GOSHHHHHH. AND WE FINALLY GOT A MEDIA VERSION OF BRUCE CALLING JASON HIS SON! IM LIKE SOBBING! THATS ALL WE EVER FREAKING WANTED! and YASS jason calling bruce his dad in the word association omg, I didn’t think they were actually gonna have him say it. and then they have the AUDACITY to show him getting better ONLY TO DESTROY IT UGGG.

Oooh yeah, that dream thing with donna was interesting, I wonder if they are gonna like fully explain it or leave it vague.

Curran just blew it OUT OF THE PARK THOOOOO

#titans spoilers #meredith thoughts #titans #batanon #titans s3 #titans rant #batman #jason todd #curran walters #meredith gets an ask #anon

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oathofoaksart · 4 years

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YOUNG JUSTICE OC: KILLJOY bio under the cut!

BASICS Name: Miles Manson A.K.A: Killjoy; Jess Terring [legally], K.J, Smiles; Jester [formally] Age: 31 [S3 Era] Gender: Cisgender Male Orientation: One Loud Shrug Noise Skin: Light tan; neutral-to-warm undertones Hair: Medium Brown Eyes: Cognac, leaning on Orange Height: 5'8" Build: Compact, similar to that of a baseball player Distinctions: Fingers and palms are partially "perma-clowned". Has a multitude of scars that riddle his body. Most noteworthy being the one which cleaves his right eyebrow in half [Robin I], track marks inside of his elbows, upper arms, and thighs [fear toxin self-injections], a slash across his nose [the Joker], a large discoloration on his left shoulder [Killer Croc], and a long scar that circles around the base of his neck [Victor Zsasz] RELATIONS [note a few @ are friends i prob only know their dA handle to] Parents: Vinny [deceased] and Katherine [estranged] Terring Siblings: Eva Terring [estranged] Friends: Erin Knightly-Tetch @little-red-xoxo, Dick “Nightwing” Grayson, Penelope “Stage Fright” Caskett @poltergeistprincesa, Jervis “The Mad Hatter” Tetch, Molly “Blondie” Weiss @Triskata Partner/s: Scattered one night stands, notably henchwenches; M. "Last Encore" (ev.) @whispering-lava Misc.: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Gi “Geode” Flores, Janus Lyssa @SherlyWats, Madelyn “Angelica�� Farro @The-Brain-Teaser, Jadis “Killcode” [Surname Redacted] @whispering-lava Affiliations: The Tetch Family; The Joker Gang [formally] PERSONALITY Personality Type: ESTP-A [Assertive Entrepreneur] Temperament: Sanguine-Choleric Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Playful | Witty | Erratic | Careless | Brutal Miles’ “daytime” persona is a friendly, quick-to-joke man who takes all things in stride. He possesses a casual cheeriness and an easygoing attitude that aids him in making quick acquaintances and even a fair amount of friends, even if he’s notably private about his personal life. It’s usually written off as him having a generally quiet bachelor lifestyle. He’s best known from his job as a waiter at a tea and sweets shop named The Mad Tea House, where he lets his more impish traits shine through to his fellow employees. He’s been guilty of child-like pranks, shirking responsibilities onto others, and being a bit of a gadfly when he feels things have gotten too quiet in the tea house. As Killjoy, he’s violent, disturbingly reckless, fueled by spite, and follows no logic other than his own. He wastes no time looking for retaliation when he perceives a wrong done against him. K.J’s sense of humor is abundantly morbid, his words often tinged with irony and false jolly. He thoroughly enjoys getting under people’s skin and milking their uncomfortableness. In truth, there are very few things Miles takes seriously, but the one thing he sets above all else are his ties of loyalty. As rash as he is in regards to his own well-being, all bets are off once someone he comes to care for is in harm’s way. While he argues he finds this annoying about himself, it’s also his one source of proof showing he hasn’t completely lost his way. ABILITIES AND WEAKNESSES Metahuman Biology: Originally, Miles’ metagene was tied to his adrenal glands, allowing a boost in bio-stats such as improved strength and reflexes. Years of fear toxin dosing further strengthened this metagene. Unbeknownst to him, his metagene was continually evolving, correlating with his need for survival. His eventual death “rebooted” the metagene, jump starting his body, and fully allowing it to unfurl.

- Immortality: Miles has recently discovered his inability to die by various means. His body heals regentively and is immune to fatal poisons and toxins. - Adrenaline Surge/Blitz Mode: His adrenaline bursts allow him enhanced strength, speed, agility and reflexes. During these “Blitzes,” Miles turns into a one-man wrecking crew, plowing through obstacles and opponents through sheer determination. - Pain Tolerance: Has an abnormally high tolerance to pain, does not mean he can’t feel pain, it simply doesn’t hinder his ability to think or move. (Ex. He can burn his hand, and he feels the same amount of pain anyone else would in the same situation, he just won't react to it if he chooses not to) While Miles is officially immortal by way of being unnaturally resilient, he is still able to experience symptoms and side effects of diseases, poisons and toxins. His healing factor slows in colder temperatures, stopping completely when it drops to freezing points. Heavy damage to his head area hinder him considerably and Miles still feels the after effects after having healed (ie. slurred speech, blurry vision, dizziness). He is extremely susceptible to electric attacks, as it overrides his nervous system, prompting unconsciousness. Gear/Weapons: - Frowny Face Mask: Besides serving as a trademark symbol, Killjoy’s mask comes equipped with mapping and schematic information, allowing for quick and easy navigation. - Voice Changer: An electronic patch attached to his throat allows Killjoy to copy various voices, ranging across age and gender. - Signal Scrambler: Killjoy operates on a generally covert level, sometimes communication from one party to another isn’t in his best interest - Assorted Explosives: Killjoy’s go-to toys, these are generally self explanatory. They vary in size and demolition damage. For the sake of irony, Killjoy is fond of deadman switches. - Weighted Gloves: Serve as built-in brass knuckles, K.J’s preferred melee weapon 3 in. Balisongs: Two of them to be precise, these typically only come out when simple bruises aren’t cutting it anymore. - Grappling Gun: Useful to get around the city landscape. The blue labeled gun. - 9mm Handgun: Killjoy dislikes having to use this one, if it’s in his hand, he’s officially stopped fooling around. The red labeled gun. - Joyride: A custom-built Camero, Killjoy’s prized possession and getaway car HISTORY TW: SUICIDE MENTION Jess Terring, better known in the Gotham Underground as Jester, shot through headlines despite his years of generally low profile work as a simple Joker lackey. Charged with the deaths of dozens and injuries of several more by result of a fatal explosion, he was to spend a life sentence at Arkham Asylum, his protests of innocence falling on deaf ears. His attempts at an appeal were overruled, even with figures such as Batman and Nightwing looking into his case for him. Arkham Asylum was hell on Earth for Jess. His shreds of hope fell apart as the months crawled on, his mental state deteriorating in the process. He had never wanted to get involved with the Joker, all he’d been was a good-for-nothing conman who’d gotten too greedy. His last four years as Jester had been a never-ending nightmare. Things finally culminated during a free-for-all jailbreak at Arkham where Jess, along with other inmates, were cornered on the roof. Unable to stomach the idea of being thrown back in the cell he was wrongfully given and simply tired of the misery, he jumped. Jess Terring was proclaimed dead by suicide off Arkham Asylum… The last thing Jess expected to happen was to wake up in a morgue. Barely coherent and running on sheer instinct, Jess managed to escape, although not without killing the on-duty mortician. His first official kill and he hadn’t felt a thing. He wouldn’t reflect on it until after clearing Gotham City, and even then, he realized it wasn’t the mortician’s death that bothered him, but rather he didn’t feel anything about it to begin with. Between recognizing his new lack of humanity and hearing the joker-like laugh escaping him, Jess broke. He spent the following months wandering the states as a nameless face. The bizarre events surrounding Jess’ death was eventually swept away by the everflowing stream of news media and within the year, faded into obscurity. It was the best he could have hoped for, free from the Joker’s grasp and unknown, but his thoughts kept returning back to Gotham City. The more the thoughts plagued him, the angrier he got. The Joker had gotten off scot-free, having framed him for the initial massacre and ran him to the ground, eventually turning him into...whatever he was. While a part of him argued he’d be better off cutting his losses, he found himself unable to set it aside and he set course back to Gotham City. He didn’t have a plan so much as he did an outline, but he soon figured out he wasn’t required to be especially careful anymore. Being nigh-indestructible made for a good buffer. He’d finally found a blessing through his curse and through trial-and-error quickly fashioned himself as a makeshift mercenary. During this time he worked under a variety of names, involving himself in several under-the-radar jobs in order to fund what would eventually be his official M.O. He marked his entrance into Gotham with a string of bomb hits on territories tied to the Joker. As of now, not many are sure what to make of this new face, some cheering for his more direct approach on the Clown Prince, others exhausted with the prospect of another nut on the scene, and even a few seedier folk wanting to get him on their payroll. He’s unconcerned by it all, but he finds himself liking the ring to the name circling around him. Killjoy. NOTES - Killjoy mostly classifies as a serial bomber, targeting hideouts and planned heist hits. While he will set up evacuations so as to not injure more people than he has to, he’s fairly flippant about collateral damage - Despite his nonchalance towards violence, Killjoy does what he can to keep things non-lethal. His way of vengeance is a shot to the knee rather than a shot to the head. It’s not that he has a problem killing, it’s just as an immortal, death is the easy way out. - It’s believed Miles’ drastic change in personality comes from multiple factors instead of just one large catalyst (ie. years of fear toxin injection, joker gas inhalation, the trauma of death and resurrection) - The name Miles Manson doesn’t have any particular meaning, it had been a name he improvised and he grew fond of it. He severely hates being called Jess. - He suffers from night terrors, likely due to his usage of fear toxin in the past. He also experiences flashbacks akin to HPPD, albeit rarely - He can withstand an extreme amount of physical abuse and keep his wits about him, but once it passes a certain threshold, his mental state will eventually slip into a frenzy. Unable to consciously keep hold of himself, he will become animalistically brutal to anyone in his vicinity. - K.J mostly concerns himself with causing problems for the Joker, although he can be moved to ally with others for other reasons when he finds fit. Notably, he’s stuck a somewhat fickle truce with Nightwing over the rising number of metatrafficking rings in Gotham and Blüdhaven.

#gar's art #gar's oc #young justice oc #dc oc #killjoy #miles manson #jess terring #meet the ocs #oathofoaks

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forestlingincorporated · 4 years

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Since it seems like some people haven't actually read the origonal Death in the Family, and with the animated movie maybe coming out in the fall, I thought I'd make a quick friendly fandom PSA on what happened in the comic.

So we open with Batman and Robin tracking down pornographers... I'm assuming child pornography, cause I don't think regular pornography was a crime in 1988. Jason is reckless and rough with the criminals, and this is notably after Jason's already maybe-maybe-not pushed an abuser/cocaine trader off a roof. Bruce has a Concern.

So then Bruce's like "maybe I made a mistake and Jay should take a break from being Robin because he's clearly still traumatised" like a hypocrite. Jason does NOT handle this well.

Careful Bruce, that sounds a lot like therapy you're suggesting.

So, Jason goes for a walk to blow off steam and finds himself at his old Crime Alley apartment where he lived with his mom and (sometimes) his dad.

This is Mrs. Walker. She was Jason's neighbor and a friend of his mom. She saved a bunch of the Todd's personal papers when their shit got auctioned off. She sees Jason stop by the apartment and gives him the box.

Meanwhile, Bruce's is handling a case involving the Joker, but nobody cares about the details on that... yet.

Jason goes through the box and finds his birth certificate. But what's this! He can't read his mother's name due to water damage, but that sure looks like an S!

Could it be Catherine Todd isn't his birth mother? (Yes.) Could it be his real mother is... Superman? (No.)

So, Jason's SAD Catherine's not his "real" mom, but then he's happy because that means he might not be an orphan anymore.

So, he finds his dad's old adress book and finds three women with names begining with S: Sharmin Rosen, Shiva Woosan, and Dr. Sheila Haywood. Can I just say? Goddamn, being a low-level Two-Face henchman introduces you to some Interesting people. And Jason gets it in his head that he's going to Find His Birth Mom.

He goes overseas to do just that. Bruce goes overseas on a lead with his Joker case, which happens to put him an Jason in the same spot. Jason "Are You My Mother?"s Sharmin and Shiva. Sharmin says she's never had a baby in Gotham, Shiva says she's never had children - which has notably been retconned, since Cassandra Cain is a few months older than Jason, but wouldn't be invented for several more years.

"Are YOU my mother?!"

So Jason finds Sheila Haywood, who - surprise, surprise - is his bio mom. But oh no, the plot! Remember how there's a Joker plot happening? Well...

So Jason sees the Joker and runs off to tell Bruce who's like "stay put, the plot is happening and I don't want you facing Joker alone." And Jason's like "okay, sure, but..."

Notably, Jason DOESN'T go after the Joker alone. All he tries to do is get his mom to safety, and makes the mistake of telling her he's Robin. And what does Sheila do with this information?

Turns her biological child over to a known violent criminal. And pulls a gun on him.

This is the part most people know. Joker beats Jason with a crow bar (Sheila pretends like it's not happening...) and then she asks him what they're going to do when BATMAN finds out, because she just had to open her big mouth. So Joker decides he can't leave evidence because the Bat only goes "nova" when he's positive someone is guilty, so he and his goons tie Sheila up and leave her and Jason to be exploded.

Jason wakes up and despite being BETRAYED by his birth mom, he still tries to save her. I refuse to say she redeems herself, but she does TRY to rescue both of them, but the door is locked and they get exploded anyway.

This would later be retconned as Deadman possessing Sheila's body, so yeah, Sheila is a huge piece of shit and doesn't even get her one redeeming thing.

When Batman arrives, it should be noted that all he knows is what a dying Sheila tells him, which isn't much. Mostly that the Joker did it and that she doesn't deserve a good, kind child like Jason. BRUCE DOES NOT KNOW JASON DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY CONFRONT THE JOKER. This fact will effect the way he interacts with his children for, oh, the rest of his goddamn life. Bruce's waffling between "Jason was reckless and it got him killed" and "it's all my fault" begins the minute the warehouse explodes, when in reality the only people at fault are the Joker and Shiela Haywood... and, like, those two goons with the Joker, but fuck 'em, I'm pretty sure they dont have names and I think they die via Joker gas or something.

So then there's this whole plot where everyone thinks Bruce wants to kill the Joker, and they don't want him to because Joker is *checks notes* the ambassador of Iran? So he's got diplomatic immunity?

...I'm not gonna touch that.

Anyway, so Superman gets involved. Shit goes down. A helicopter blows up. Bruce begs Clark to find Joker's body in the water, but they imply they can't. As ya do.

And so that's death in the family. Some aspects of it didn't age well from the late 80s to now, but it's overall a really solid story with some very good scenes between Jason and Bruce and I hope the adaptation does it justice and improves on it.

#Batman #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Sheila Haywood #Red Hood #Robin #death in the family

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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End of the Joke

I don’t care for Punchline. DC is giving her this massive, undeserved, push toward something bigger, I think, and it’s frustrating to watch. Her debut is right before Joker War so I imagine she'll be a force in Gotham going forward, maybe on her own, maybe as Joker's partner, maybe as his replacement. I don't know, I don't care. What immediately strikes me is the fact that Joker’s new girl is kind of... corny. I believe that the most effective Joker is a lone Joker. A Joker allowed to be revel in his violence and depravity, free of a colorful supporting staff. That's his allure. Every other Gotham villain has henchmen or mob connections. Mr. Napier does not. Joker is a boogie man who only solicits expendable manpower in accordance with the scheme. He is an island of pure, malevolent, chaos. For me, Joker is Tyler Durden. He is the anarchist. The mass murderer. The dog chasing cars. He's an enigma that is more than the physical. Joker is Batman's opposite in every way. He is the king of Gotham's underworld, even if he chooses not to wear that broken crown and leaves the throne vacant. Joker doesn't need a second. Harley worked because she was a very different character, first introduced into a very different medium. Harls had years to develop in Batman: The Animated Series before she made the jump to the comics. Even her Ivy romance has roots in BTAS, no pun intended. Harley Quinn organically grew into a great character. Punchline, however, feels forced. She feels really try-hard. She feels disposable. I don’t know if it’s because she only has a handful of appearances but, so far, most of them have been written by her creators, which does not bode well. If they can’t get the character right, then the character will never be right and is, effectively, a wasted opportunity.

I think i dislike this chick so much because she’s a goddamn Mary Sue. Harley earned her agency after years upon years of trauma. She was manipulated, abused, and violated, by Joker. Overcoming that violence on her way to becoming a principal character of the entire DC universe, is a true story of growth with some incredibly compelling themes that have been explored at length. The Harleen we see in Mad Love is a completely different character to the Harleen we see in Birds of Prey. Hell, her first appearance way back in Joker’s Favor was perfect. She was lively, energetic, visibly traumatized, and humanized the abject horror Joker embodies. Harley feels like she’s been with the Joker for years. She fits that dynamic. Punchline does none of that. Her first appearance reads like edgelord fan fiction. Harley was more than her Harley Quinn persona. Punchline is not. Its funny to me that she references not being one of Joker’s fangirls because that’s exactly how this story portrays her.

The goth outfit. The super-crazy facial expressions. All of that big “I’m not like other girls” energy. The fact that she found the formula for Joker Venom online is just the worst. Even more egregious, the fact that she was able to modify it into a liquid form which not only inflicts more acute symptoms upon the victim, but leaves them alive for interrogation, and Joker, himself, never tried that, is borderline unbelievable. Rey Palpatine is the poster child for Mary Sues but Punchline is really giving the impostor Skywalker a run for her money. The first time i saw this chick in a comic, she fought Mercy Graves to a stalemate. Mercy f*cking Graves. Lex Luthor’s bodyguard. Harley was able to do that in the World’s Finest crossover special but she has a background in gymnastics and martial arts. Punchline is a child compared to her. She can’t be more than twenty-two years old, considering she’s still in college and that’s IF she’s a Senior. You’re telling me that this kid, who has shown no special abilities, genius level intellect, or enhanced skills, can best one of the strongest martial artists in the DC universe? More than that, she beats Harley, herself, in a fight. How??

There is no conceivable way Punchline defeats Harley in a scrap. None. Harleen’s gone toe-to-toe with Batman and even bested him a few rounds. She’s been a Suicide Squad survivor countless times. She pulled through i don’t know how many attempts on her life at the hands of the Joker and you’re telling me that Punchline, this glorified emo kid, bested her in fisticuffs, nearly killing her in the process? There’s no way. There’s no way Harley jobs that hard to anyone but, here we are. Because the writers and creators of this character are creatively bankrupt. They wanted their OC to be better so they made Harley worse. They wanted their OC to be anti-Harley, but as popular as Harley, so she had to beat Harley. That’s bad writing, man, and considering these stories are our first experiences with this character, that might be her death knell. It’s a shame because i actually think there is merit in the idea of Punchline as a character.

Punchline could have been something special, a Batgirl to Joker, so to speak. Literally just crib Batgirl’s entire origin and apply it to Joker. Disillusioned college student who derived her own persona independent of, but based upon, Joker. She’d be able to start small, committing base murders because, apparently, she has a thing for knives. Slowly gaining experience and reputation over time as a killer, as a villain, outside of Joker, eventually making her proper debut as a new force in Gotham villainy; Punchline. Show us how clever she could have been removed from Joker. Give us evidence of her ingenuity. Show us what she could do with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Make her the anarchist and domestic terrorist she seems to want to be, outside of that Clown Prince choker. Imagine if she Tyler Durden’d her way through Gotham in a massive, bloody, spectacle, similar to how Joker did in The Man Who Laughs, as an homage to her inspiration. You’d have sold her lethality to the audience, put her on the level of a major Gotham threat, and made it believable that Joker would want her on his team. Instead, she poisoned a guy with a Joker Venom recipe she got of Reddit, because he was uncomfortable with her anarchist manifesto that probably bordered on hate speech, while Joker hid in her dorm room closet watching. This is the lamest origin to an antagonist, ever, especially one we're supposed to believe is an actual threat. How did editorial let this sh*t get published? I do have to give it to Tyrion and Jimenez, though. Naming her Punchline was a stroke of genius because, so far, she’s definitely been the butt of a bad joke.

#Batman #Joker #DC #Punchline #Alexis Kaye

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