#like i get that a lot of vegans are annoying and some are not at all taking into consideration the ethical problems

[itstimeforstarwars]

Working in this office is just fending off all my coworkers offering me a peanut or an almond or a pistachio or a walnut. No thank you I do not like nuts, I say every day, but every day they offer me a peanut or an almond or a pistachio.

[ukulelegodparent]

Can someone explain to me why quinoa has become such a checkmate vegans thing? Like to vegans actually eat significantly more quinoa than people who eat meat?

[lordcrumps]

The Sims 2 For Rent - CC EXPANSION PACK

Sul Sul!

~ More photos under the under the cut ~

Last week the Sims 4 got a new pack, this week Sims 2 players get that same pack! In a collaboration with @platinumaspiration and @tvickiesims and a HUGE assist from @episims, we bring you "The Sims 2 For Rent CC Expansion Pack!"

This is a large set, and advisable that it does not get merged even further than it already is! - I ran into some issues when trying to do this!

When you explore this pack, please take a look at the marble ring rug, it has some surprisingly cute rug swatches! I put a swatch in it to remove the marbles themselves, so you have a cute small rug! - I only mention this as I was going to bin the rug off once uploaded, but then I found it had some lovely swatches!

FUNCTIONALITY

So most of the items will function as they should and intended as. Its just not just deco items.

There is two collection files included, separated into build buy! Please note that fences and stairs and spandrels cant be but into a collection!

The squatty toilet that took me over 12 hours to make, yeah they squat, animation can be a bit bouncy but such is life. This toilet also can be flushed, get dirty and is cleanable!

Outdoor plants are seasonal!

Counters are animated with insides built, there is no drawer on the counter, I did not want to change the shape of the unit, and saw EA did the same - ignore the fact they grab something from a non existent drawer

Wardrobes have interiors elements, and have working doors!

Each Kettle have two versions, choose only one, one for the colour traits mod / one 'normal'. They function as Tea makers! Huazzah!

Spandrels in build mode are classified as fences. I made a variant with fence / no fence.

Several of the larger deco pieces such as the Arch Gate, or umbrella are actually lights!

Radiators act like radiators!

The Aircon Unit is completely functional, doesn't lower bills, but it does lower sims temperatures!

"Water Heaters" act like solar panels, they get money off your bills!

The Electrical Fuse box has 2 versions, I kept them both in, one wall deco and one functions as a burglar alarm - I wanted more alarms.

Most Sofas / Chairs have morphs!

Slots added to the Vanity and Bathroom Cabinet!

FENCES / SPANDRELS / STAIRS OH MY!

I have included swatch images of each of the spandrels, fences and stairs and labelled them to match, this is so that you can go in and take out any of the swatches you do not want. This is because there are lot of new fences and the menu can feel cluttered with them in for some people.

DOWNLOAD

ALT - SFS

~ Credits / Thanks / List of items not converted under the cut ~

MORE PHOTOS

CREDITS

Mini fridge is cloned from Targa over at MTS - so now it works just like a regular fridge barring a few animations (get baby bottle and juggle)

Kettles were cloned from @pforestsims's kettle, link here.

@jacky93sims for the base of the squat toilet! Epi for the code edits!

THANKS

@tvickiesims, @platinumaspiration thank you soo much for helping with the objects, really couldn't do it myself!! Your amazing, awesome, and some of the best creators out there! Thank you again!

@episims - YOU ARE DA BOMB! Thank you for all your help in getting those toilets working with me, and everything else you do when you answer my little annoying questions! Appreciated like you wouldn't believe!

LIST OF ITEMS NOT CONVERTED - @sims4t2bb

Due to the sizing / functionality of these objects, they will not be included in this pack!

All Yer Fixins Untenable Food Stand

Mali's Moonlight Market Craft Stall

Vegan Vittles Night Market

Late Night Snack Dessert Stall

Rice to Meet You Night Market

The Unrestroom

Fisherman's Slats Window - Tall

The Secret Maze Window - Very Tall

The Secret Maze Window - Super Duper Tall

Stained Glass Tomarani Shutters - Tall

Stained Glass Tomarani Shutters - Tall and Open Wide

The Save Us From Ruin Tallest Cinched Wall Curtain

The How Many Times Do We Need To Tell You It's Not Silk Taller Wall Curtain

The We Are Going To Jail< Tallest Wall Curtain So You Know the Truth Curtain

[markster666]

Alastor Reacting To Stereotypical Activist Gen Zer (No NSFW really ig)

Me and @rainyvandragon were discussing this last night and we thought it was the funniest thing ever, so I wanted to write a short fic for you guys. Enjoy.

This might be offensive to some audiences but I tried to portray a stereotypical feminist Gen Zer in the eyes of somebody closed minded (somebody like Alastor kinda) so LOL.

The new generation, Gen Z, (1997-2012), started making their appearances in Hell. Alastor, being a gentleman from the 1930s, wasn't used to being around the influx of activists, feminists, vegans, etc. It wasn't until one showed up at the hotel seeking redemption that he truly met his match.

"WHATS UP GIRLY POPS?!!" The Gen Zer kicked open the doors, strutting into the lobby. They turned to Charlie, "Omg, you look SO slay!!"

Alastor looked at them in disgust. What the fuck were they even saying?

The Gen Zer turned to Alastor and gasped in delight, "Omg! Look at youUU-UH."

They walked over to Alastor and sat on the chair next to him.

"What are your pronouns?"

Alastor looked dumbfounded. "My... My what?"

"Pronouns silly! Are you a girl, boy, trans, non-binary, gender-fluid-"

They went on for a couple minutes before Alastor interrupted.

"I'm a boy, my Dear."

"Are you a CIS male?"

Alastor literally was getting so fucking annoyed because he literally has no fucking idea what this mf was talking about.

"...Yes."

"Great! So He/Him. What's your sexuality?"

Alastor didn't know what the fuck that meant.

"...I don't like having sex."

"Omg so you're ASEXUAL? QUEEN!!! LOVE THAT FOR YEWWW-UH!!"

Alastor wanted to die (again).

The Gen Zer got back up and started talking to Charlie. Charlie also looked a little offput but she was a LOT more accepting.

"So... how did you die?"

"Oh, my, GAWD, I literally was at a protest and some stupid fucking cops decided to pump me full of lead! Whatever, at least I went down for fighting in what I believe in."

Angel Dust perked up, "And what do you believe in?"

"WOMENS RIGHTS AND UNRESTRICTED RIGHTS TO ABORTION-UH!"

Alastor was banging his head against the table in the lobby.

"Oh and I also got arrested a few times for vandalizing government property but hey! Worth it!"

Angel Dust was CRACKING up at Alastor's reaction and Charlie was trying to listen attentively.

"We definitely need to completely remove gender roles from our modern society. Oh, I also really miss my husband... I proposed to him recently and he's SUCH a good stay at home dad!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!"

Alastor yelled, his voiced filled with radio static.

Angel Dust was on the floor, hollering with laughter.

"Oh my gosh sorry, I should've asked for your beliefs before I started spouting off about them! You know...my mum was kind off...a total fuckin cunt, which is why I cut of all contact with her. She was a Republican, smh."

Alastor threw a table at them.

"OH MY GAWD STOP IT!!!!"

Im sorry guys I'm fucking laughing so hard this is the best head canon ever.

[lauraneedstochill]

The Greens headcanons (modern!au)

I was inspired by @phiasaban post. the second I saw these photos I had an idea for the modern au and just wrote it all down in 10 minutes (this has nothing to do with the show! it’s just me looking at the photos, mind you):

Alicent is a single mom. loves to cook (def cooks when she’s nervous or upset), has a record collection, loves to dance when she’s tipsy. can be a strict parent when she’s pissed (or really tired) but overall is a mama bear (to the point of getting into arguments with teachers — “yeah, I think I know what’s best for my kids”). she’s an angry driver, keeps her car super clean. dresses casually (plaid shirts and jeans), but whenever she puts on a dress she looks so smoking hot it makes every man turn around after her. tons of them flirt with her but she mostly looks uninterested. deep inside is afraid to get her heart broken again. makes friends with her neighbor Criston (he let her borrow flour a few times). he is totally in love with Alicent and everyone sees it but her. he’s okay with her taking all the time she needs.

Aegon is a fuckboy but a very apologetic one. has no cruel intentions, he just “loves women so much, he can’t help himself”. either writes songs or poetry. has the weirdest captions on instagram. drinks wine 24/7 but manages to look sober when needed. ends up falling in love with one of his closest friends who’s been tolerating him for years, helping him sober up, making him breakfasts, giving cruel reviews of his sappy poems. one day she just casually picks him up in her car, they’re driving in comfortable silence, she asks him how his day went — and it suddenly strikes him that she’s the one. he’ll probably tell her right away (“I think I’m in love with you” — and she sharply presses the brakes). but it will take a couple of weeks for him to fully sober up, convince her to go on a date with him and then to give him a chance. will plant kisses all over her face whenever she’s upset. he loves movie dates, but his sense of humor is questionable.

Aemond is into sports (pick whatever you like, but he doesn’t look like a team player to me lol). very competitive, self-disciplined, doesn’t talk much. girls swoon over him and he ignores them completely. secretly is a nerd, reads a lot (and pretty much anything). falls in love with a girl who challenges him but will also stand by his side in every situation imaginable even if he’s wrong (she won’t shy away from telling him the truth when it’s just the two of them, though). he’s incredibly protective yet very gentle. it’s all about forehead kisses, leaving sweet notes for her, buying flowers for no reason. not a fan of PDA’s but will hold her hand every chance he gets. remembers every single anniversary. they’ll probably adopt a dog. he gives the best hugs and loves when she plays with his hair. they can talk about their favorite books for hours and she loves being the only one who gets to see that side of him.

Helaena is into astrology and tarot cards. has a cat (or three) and probably a little pet snake. talks to animals (I also think she’ll be vegan but don’t quote me on that). buys a lot of plants (and gives them names), maybe in attempt to compensate for her smoking. some may say she has a resting bitch face, but those ppl clearly never saw her smile, 'cause it lights up her face and she looks absolutely adorable. she’s the first one to steal their mother’s car (Alicent is not surprised and just texts her “no smoking in the car!”). annoyed with her brothers most of the time but god forbid someone dares to hurt them. carries a pocketknife (it looks very pretty, decorated with crystals and stuff), wears long t-shirts. adventurous but it takes time for her to trust people. will fall in love with someone who’s kind (and maybe introverted?). they’ll get matching tattoos (smth very small and simple), go on road trips and music festivals. yes, I can totally imagine her being queer.

➡ next: modern!Aemond Targaryen, college au part 1 — “All yours” part 2 — First time for everything 💌 my masterlist

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

So, did Smilling Critters really die out here? Wouldn't there be some kind of way for them to still be alive, or for the prototype to revive them? It's because I would like to see them here in your AU, mainly I would like to see CatNap apologize to them and have an emotional meeting with all of them.

(besides, you have a great AU, I loved it the first time it was posted :D)

AAAAAAAAA, thank you so much!!! I'm glad you like my AU!

I have been going on and off about letting the other Smiling Critters have a permanent death in my AU or not, but I think that for the "main version" of the AU they will be gone. Permanent type of gone.

In my own headcanons, PickyPiggy ate the remains of CraftyCorn, Bubba Bubbaphant and KickinChicken. I still don't know if I prefer her to have been so hungry she ended up turning on her friends, or if an accident happened and she was so hungry she ate their bodies. Either way, she also tried to attack Bobby, with Hoppy and Dogday stopping it from happening and leaving her behind. Hoppy died during an accident while the trio was running from Catnap, and Bobby died soon after. Again, I don't know how she died: Either a broken heart from losing so many of her friends, or from a critical injury from trying to save Dogday.

I think most of their bodies if not all of them were claimed by the Prototype, so in theory they could be brought back. In practice, however, all of this started because Elliot Ludwig couldn't accept the fact his daughter would be gone and desperately wanted her to have a chance to live. Angel and Prototype both know Dogday and Catnap miss their friends, and the duo's ever-increasing guilt is only going to get worse as they process their trauma, but bringing their friends back from the dead is not the way to do it. Deep down Angel wants to try that, but they can't and shouldn't. And it hurts, yes, but they can't allow the cycle to continue.

... ON THE OTHER HAND. Good God do I wish I could bring these dumb critters back from the dead, or at least make it so that Catnap trapped everyone/sent them to the Playtime Co's equivalent of the shadowrealm or maximum security prison, and Angel has to save them and stitch them back together during chapter 4. OR, EVEN, everyone discovering the other critters were still alive when the authorities go in to investigate the factory and find them very malnourished, but still alive.

IN MY OPINION Picky would have a hard time eating, thanks to her trying to eat her own friends. She goes vegan because even the smell of meat makes her stomach curl, and she decides to try gardening around the isolated house. She can't look most of the other toys in the face due to trauma, but she's trying so hard.

Kickin picked beef with both Mommy Long Legs and Kissy Missy. MLL finds him to be a sort of "annoying little brother", and Kissy is always making an >:( expression with some of the things Kickin tries to do. His way of coping is via trying to fill himself with hobbies. He gets diagnosed with ADHD and surprises no one.

Bobby has abandonment issues, becomes Long Legs' and Kissy's best friend, and now they NEVER leave each other's side. Bobby tries romance books and movies, only to realize what really soothes her anxious mind is, ironically, horror. And Doom. Lots of Doom. She also takes responsibility in helping take care of the younger toys, and I think she's also the first to fully accept Catnap's apologies. She hugs him and he becomes close to crying, then she starts sobbing and they're both hugging each other and crying. Her right arm needs extensive treatment due to her getting it badly injured, though.

Craftycorn has a 50/50 chance of becoming an Youtuber or influencer and no one can't change my mind, girl is the queen of MySpace /j. But being serious, she, much like Bobby, has abandonment issues, but is also TERRIFIED of the dark thanks to Playtime. It also takes her a long time to go back into drawing, and an even longer time to pick up any red pencils. It reminds her of blood. This however does end with her finding out drawing horrifying creatures helps her cope with her anxiety! Second to forgive Catnap and acquires an habit of making outfits and trinkets for the other toys. Also she has to wear braces on her hands and is always grumpy when her hands (hooves?) start hurting.

Bubba... My baby. My poorest boy. Mentally speaking, he seems to be the most well-adjusted, until he finds out he keeps forgetting what he reads or studies. He tries to play it cool, to be a helping hand to poor Dogday and Angel, tries to learn everything from the other toys so he can start making plans on what he wants to do for this future, but he just. Can't think about a future. And a few months later it's 3AM and he can't stop crying and chewing on his own pillows, and he feels awful and he keeps forgetting things and why does every little thing bothers him SO much, his recovery has been going so well, why is it happening? And then the flashbacks happen, and oooh boy, he does NOT escape the PTSD and burnout diagnosis. Much like Craftycorn he's extremely grumpy about his symptons, but Bobby and Crafty are trying to help him be kinder to himself.

Hoppy would probably need at least an year or two to physically recover from her injuries. She hates the fact her legs got so badly hurt during her time at Playco, and for the first few weeks she's grumpy, very easily startled, and very mean to others. It takes her the longest to even look at Catnap without wanting to murder him. Catnap sometimes wishes she had never started to forgive him, because now the only one left to forgive him is himself. Also I think Hoppy is the second one hit with the ADHD diagnosis, surprising no one.

Also. Ahem. All of them are besties with Miss Delight, who helps some of them try to understand Catnap more. Our big feline is constantly worrying about hurting his friends again and his guilt is eating him from the INSIDE OUT, but at least Dogday is there to help him. Speaking of which!

Don't tell anyone but Dogday has been smoking and drinking. He's 21, tired, and therapy is a long process. He thinks he's hiding well from everyone else (he can't be a bad example to them!) until, again, 3AM hits and he sees Mommy Long Legs smoking and Catnap coming back from the Prototype's barn smelling like alcohol. So all three of them stare at each other like "...", until they hear something falling down inside.

Surprise surprise, it's a drunk Angel.

THANKFULLY. These bad habits will eventually go away as, again, they recover from the trauma and start finding healthier coping mechanisms. But until then everything is MESSYYYYYY

... Okay now I'm once again reconsidering the idea of bringing them back from the dead or not rip-

[dyslexicandakeyboard]

Some Reverse!BatFamily Headcannons

(I have a reverse!BatFamily AU. Some things never change but a lot of things do so this is just for fun)

Damian is a vegan and has been since he was quite young due to his love of animals and that he once choked on a chicken bone.

Jason reads fanfiction of Pride and Prejudice and is a author of a viral ongoing fic that is a crossover of all of Jane Austen's works but set in a post apocalyptic world.

Dick has hypoglycaemia and is prone to fainting.

Bruce *turning to Dick*: Okay and you need to--DICK

Dick: *falling off the roof*

Cassandra can mimic the Kardashian's voices with startling accuracy and is a lover of most reality Tv.

Stephanie is not squeamish at all.

Bruce: *tries to not vomit as he watches Steph stuff her hand in a live person to get a bullet.*

Bruce got motion sickness as soon as he got the kids.

Duke learned to knit and crochet. But he hates it because he's the designated art and crafts kid in the house and so people just ask him to do shit for them for free.

Tim is still the shortest despite being the second oldest.

Damian went to college and got a Bachelors degree in environmentalism and a studied law at postgrad. He's a famous environmentalist lawyer. Family nicknames him Marshall to Damain's annonyence.

Dick wants to model for reasons (Kory) but Bruce won't let him unless he got a Olympic medal. Dick got one and Bruce has moved the goalpost to five Olympic gold medals. Dick has three.

Jason and Bruce are very similar in their interests and how they rebelled. It annoys them to no end and pleases Alfred.

Stephanie wants to become a gynaecologist when she's older and volunteers at the Leslie's clinic during the summer.

TIm is a slacker and gets the worst grades. He still hasn't graduated yet.

Bruce: How's your degree going

Tim: Well, you see, I'm taking engineering classes right now. I'm going to finish my actual degree but...

Cassandra accidentally scares all the batfamily due to her quietness.

Cass: *is living*

Jason *coming out of the bathroom*: FUCK

Bruce denies that he snores despite the batkids having evidence. He says that they're "fabricating evidence" and that "even if it was true" it's not "permissible in court" since it was obtain through "illegal means".

Alfred still treats Bruce like a child.

Jason's favourite food is burritos.

Bruce hosts weekly meetings to talk over their week and to announce things. Evey one hates it.

[umeoniii]

aot women beige flags!

٩( 'ω' )و

mikasa, hange, annie, sasha, ymir, pieck

~

mikasa:

☆ gets super sick easily

and these sicknesses literally beat her ass

she just has a super weak immune system

can go out one time then when she comes back home she’s literally stuck in bed like it’s her dying days.

a common cold for her is like the plague

it seems as if she’s an old victorian child lying in her bed asking her mother for bread and water.

☆ somehow physic

not so much now, it’s not like she has powers

but she has a ‘6th sense’ and she can tell when something bad is going to happen

first time she did it you thought she was joking around

but then she was right because the building next to you caught fire (cooking error…)

you were totally scared of her after that bcs what if she was behind it

then you forgave her (she did nothing wrong?) and tried to convince her to give you a fortune

then she proceeded to tell you that’s not what the sixth sense is for

hange:

☆ really likes playing games

hanges a sore loser though.

this is super funny

super competitive with stuff like board games and video games. and she takes it seriously.

when she loses she takes it to heart.

she’ll throw a temper tantrum and get upset and everything.

she’ll do anything to win as well. cheats and switches the game all she wants, especially when she’s actually winning. but when you try to do it it’s all “no no that’s not how you play!”

you DO NOT want to play uno with hange. enough said

☆ makes impressions of people in public.

let’s say you’re in the car parked and you see a couple sitting on the bench talking.

she’ll give them names and make a voice and act what she thinks is their conversation.

it’s far funnier than it sounds.

if she sees a couple and their friend,

“eh barbra? i didn’t know you were gonna invite your annoying friend, you know how much i hate her!” she’d snicker while staring at the three people

and there’s actually times where you hate it bcs of how unserious she acts.

sometimes she would invite you along to voice someone else

and she would just sit and laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever!

annie:

☆ bargain queen

has coupons for everything in the whole wide world

she has all the apps for everyplace she goes so she’ll get some kind of deal.

her total at the grocery store would go from $135 to $80 bcs she’s a diehard user of coupons

she makes u use them as well and stuffs some in your wallet

she’s a karen for these things as well

if the price tag says it’s ‘$3.12’ then it’s ‘$3.12’ whether the seller says “well that’s last weeks price”

she’ll say “well maybe you should’ve changed it, how would the manager feel if i told them you’re not doing youre job?”

and she’d get it for $3.12

☆ greets an animal before she greets a person

if she seems someone she knows walking their dog she won’t even look at them let alone speak to them

she’ll crouch and pet the dog and start baby talking to them before she gets up and says something to the walker

she actually likes animals a lot

more than ppl

she’d have some kind of shirt displaying that as well

“im more of a dog person than a people person”

sasha:

☆ cant stay on track in a conversation

she could be talking to you about something she heard about someone. then she’ll be like, “speaking of her i remember when me and her went out for these awesome burgers.”

THEN she’ll say “wait because i was actually contemplating going vegan…. what do you think?”

the whole convo switches topics every 2 minutes or so.

you get so confused as to how the conversation went from work drama to when she thinks the world is going to end.

☆ takes the first bite of your food

it’s an unspoken rule.

she doesn’t even say “to test it for poison” she just does it because she wants

trying something new? she gets the first bite. you haven’t ate all day? she still gets the first bite. it’s your favorite food in the whole wide world? two words: first. bite.

and it’s not even a small bite, it’s the BIGGEST chomp she could take.

you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t care. you just shove it in her face.

because if you were being honest if she just suddenly stopped you’d be concerned and sad.

ymir:

☆ cannot take some things seriously

she could be out w you at a restaurant and see this waiter’s name on their tag

“gaylord”

it’s not even pronounced “gay lord” but “gaylerd”

she’ll turn around and start hysterically laughing she doesn’t even care that the waiters right there

you can tell her a story from work or something that’s completely serious and she’ll still laugh no matter what

☆ lies out of her ass for no reason

you could tell her you tried some cool new exotic food and she’ll be like

“oh i had that when i was 5 and i almost died because i’m allergic to the spices in it”

and it’s kind of obvious it’s a lie but you don’t even say anything bcs she rides hard to defend herself and say it’s the truth

she’ll even go as far as editing photos and calling other people so it would be more believable

she sometimes doesn’t even lie to be funny but just out of habit

these aren’t bad kind of lies and she tells the truth when needed but she still b lyin..

pieck:

☆ cannot save money for her life

she can put aside some money for important stuff and it would be gone in a flash

worst part is the money is wasted on totally useless stuff

like finger puppets

what are you gonna do with finger puppets when you’re stranded for miles?

tries harder to not let it happen

then it happens again and she tries to justify it by saying that maybe a corn butterer was a great investment

(it wasn’t)

☆ can sleep anywhere at anytime

we all know this don’t we…

but it’s horrible

restaurants, floor, toilet

she could probably go to sleep in the club if she’s tired enough

she doesn’t look dead when she sleeps (unlike connie)

she looks very calm whether she’s in a deep sleep or taking a power nap

and she probably gets a decent amount of sleep at night, she just naps bcs… she wants to?

♡

a/n: at least 3 of these stories are actually real things i’ve faced with friends and family LOL so this is so funny to me. some of these aren’t even beige flags and are lowkey hcs, let’s just pretend alr!

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi Fen!!! Popping in to ask what you think the moon boys’ hobbies would be (if they weren’t so busy moon knighting). (For Steven, I feel like studying ancient Egypt is more like a passion, so like what else do you think he’d be into?)

K. Love you! Byeeeee.

IDJIDHVDHFH Oh my gosh, I love this ask so much! Thank you so, so, SO much for sending it! ❤️(ILY!) Did I think about this at work for a good 1 and 30 mins instead of working on a spreadsheet? No, of course not, I would never do that… 👀

I have narrowed it down to one each to save everyone from seeing my absolute madness.

Moon Knight Boys Headcanons & Hobbies

Rating: PG  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: Swearing

Steven: Cooking

Okay, here me out. So, I’ve seen opposite ends of opinion on this one (both are valid) but I’m going with Steven is a very good cook, and he likes cooking. 

He’s been vegan for a while and it’s only in the last couple of years that food places have really been trying with vegan and vegetarian options that aren’t salad… bread… (chips if you’re lucky) So, I think he enjoys making lots of different recipes. 

It started out with him just making vegan ones and then, over time, became him changing other recipes to make them vegan and coming up with his own. 

Absolute master at vegan cakes, no one can ever tell the difference, and, in fact, a lot of people compliment him on ‘the best cake they’ve ever had’, ‘so light and fluffy? How do you do it?’ “Well, that’s the secret, innit?” (whisk the aquafaba like your life depends on it and sweet potato) 

Steven is absolutely horrified by the food Marc makes himself. (Plain chicken, rice, spinach) 

“Where are the flavours Marc? At least some herbs? Spices for fuck’s sake? I can’t believe you’re eating plain steamed chicken?” (He doesn’t even care that it’s meat, it's just the lack of flavour.)

“It’s boiled chicken actually.”

Steven loses his goddamn mind. 

“I don’t care what bloody macronutrient you are monitoring, you are not eating that.”

It’s not that Marc can’t cook, he just doesn’t see the reason to put the effort in when it’s just for himself (doesn’t feel like he deserves it.)

Steven grumbles to himself and refuses to let Marc cook his own dinner if he can help it. “If you’re going to eat meat, at least treat it with respect, yeah? Bring out the flavour?” He usually preps something for Marc, so he can cook it quickly when he’s hungry. 

Makes so many cakes and pastries for Jake. Leaves them in boxes with ‘Jake :)’ written on a post stick note on the top. Jake is always so touched and surprised when he does. They have taken to playing a little game where sometimes the food is vegan and sometimes it’s not and Jake has to guess. He’s more accurate than most people, but it still only averages around 70% right. (69% if we’re being exact, and Marc is sure Jake’s messing with the correct statistics on purpose.)

Marc: Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Football

Literally takes it so seriously. Has spreadsheets filled with information and pours over every single statistic like it holds the answers to the universe. It only got more intense when he found a forum for people with the same interest and he literally will spend hours talking online about it.

“It’s not about getting the best players, it’s about making the best team.”

Jake has joked that he puts Steven and his love for history to shame and if those spreadsheets weren’t saved on the computer Marc would have boxes and boxes and folders upon folders of printed out info and then there would be zero space in the flat. 

When Marc annoys Steven, Steven tells him to “go play with your pretend american cricket and american rugby” to piss him off. 

(Marc retaliates by incorrectly pronouncing UK places. 

“Steven, maybe we should take a trip to Ed-in-b-row” 

“It’s Ed-in-bruh.” 

“How about Sus-SEX or Es-SEX?” 

“It’s Sus-SIX and Es-SIX.” 

“I do love Green-WITCH at this time of year.” 

“IT’S GREN-ITCH! Jake, you're from New York, how is Greenwich pronounced?” 

“I’m not getting involved.” 

“Ha! That’s because he agrees with me!”

When things get really heated, Marc threatens to make a cup of tea in the microwave. Steven says he doesn’t care because he makes coffee in the microwave all the time and it’s fine. Jake puts an end to it by saying hot chocolate tastes best with water and then laughing when both Marc and Steven gang up on him. 

“I cannot believe you think that mate.”

“You know how many different types of milk there are?”

“Absolutely disgusting.”

“Cow, goat, soya, almond, coconut, literally any of them instead.”)

Jake: Knitting

Wanted something to keep his hands busy, that he could pick up and put down, and that he could take in his cab when he was stationary and waiting for fares. 

Took to it a lot quicker than he thought it would, and can just zone out and knit. It helps keep him grounded. 

He feels like he has spent a lot of his time destroying and there is something so satisfying about being able to create. 

Once he mastered the stitch he quickly moved onto making clothes. Before Marc and Steven knew about him he used to knit jumpers for Steven and hide them in the wardrobe. 

Jake makes Marc a cartoony style baseball jumper that he also loves, and a thick cardigan for Steven that is covered in hieroglyphics (he spends months researching the language to get it to make some sense, and works in a dig at Khonshu in there and has Steven crying with laughter.) 

When they know about him Steven excitedly requests the “most garish and over the top Hanukkah jumper anyone has ever seen!” Jake does his best, presenting it to Steven (and trying to hide how nervous he feels) Steven loves it and refuses to take it off all winter. 

Most people think Jake has a stern glare when he wants, but you can never be sure if he’s planning your destruction or trying to work out how many balls of wool it would take to make someone your size a jumper.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @welcometostayingawake @mbakubabe @solobagginses @melodygatesauthor @romanarose @pimosworld @jake-g-lockley

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[diagonal-queen]

chuuya and kunikida with a gn reader who's usually composed, the ideal assistant, and is just generally so competent that it feels unreal sometimes, who's actually kinda airheaded after getting to know them, forgetful, and cusses a lot, and wouldn't take a compliment to save their life?

sorry if this is specific im projecting a little💀

ah, so chuuya and kunikida x me? sure thing 👍 /j

Reader being the "perfect" assistant

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, Doppo Kunikida x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these boys react when reader behaves like the ideal assistant at work, but their actual personality is very different?

♡ cw: None!

note: MY FRIEND!!! I appreciate when asks are specific! Makes life easier for me <3 Apologies for errors and hope you enjoy x

Chuuya:

He lowkey feels pretty special that only he gets to see the 'right brain' side of you so to speak

And he couldn't be happier with the way you are, because your perfect assistant facade is great for work, and your actual personality is really compatible with his own

Chuuya will always, ALWAYS compliment you just to see you get all shy (he loves that), but he really does mean all the nice things he says

You being forgetful doesn't really bother him at all, he's just concerned with whether or not you can keep yourself safe (as his assistant you're pretty good at negotiations and stuff)

He actually encourages you to let your guard down a little at work because it's not like anyone else is gonna challenge you, but you're too worried to do it

People are probably always asking Chuuya how he's able to date someone so different from him and he just deflects so hard

Finds it kinda hot when you curse honestly. Also likes that you never give him a hard time for cursing a lot himself

Whether or not you were the best assistant in the world or the worst, Chuuya wouldn't trade you for the world.

Kunikida:

It's a little jarring for him and he doesn't know exactly how to handle it sometimes, especially at first. He probably screamed /j

He kinda fell in love with you uhh IMMEDIATELY when he met you

Kunikida decides that it'd be better for the both of you if he tried to help you improve yourself (things like less swearing and whatnot). He tried and failed immediately so he's come to accept you as you are (tbh he'd love you either way <3)

Will leave you a ton of post it notes everywhere with reminders on them so you don't forget anything, and will also be sure to call you in the mornings to make sure you're awake

Actually grows to be super patient with you, because unlike Dazai you're not intentionally being annoying or misunderstanding him all the time (Dazai's maybe a little jealous of you)

You and he do a ton of undercover missions together (y'know, 'cause you're both good actors and all) and you're both always in awe of how talented the other is (cuties)

If you reject a compliment of his he'll use it as a chance to begin lecturing you about self-confidence and mental health and all that stuff (it's actually pretty helpful!)

He always does his best to be there to help you and he absolutely refuses to leave you behind or let you take crap from anybody

i had some chicken nuggets today! :D i'll manifest an abundance of nuggets (vegan or otherwise) for all who read this because they are so tasty!

[knightmareaceblue]

I had an idea for an animation vs. DnD type thing. Don't know if I'm going to do anything with it, but I liked the concept and characters I came up with for it, so I decided to draw them.

Some notes:

-TSC is the DM, and thus doesn't have a character. Green's character Limerick, however, has a twin sister in his backstory, so with Green's permission Second designed her to look like them. It looks like the two have matching headbands, but actually Limerick is just wearing Melody's. :(

-As a DM, Second is very good at weaving together a world and story, and successfully ties everyone's backstories in with the main plot. They are also, however, a bit controlling and easily annoyed. Red and Purple often get things thrown at them by Second for going too off track or just being plain stupid.

-Blue's character Azure (neutral good) is technically the party leader, having been the one to gather the party and issue the main quest. They are not, however, very good at keeping the party on track. Especially Spark and Amethyst.

-Limerick is a true neutral bard that got double classed as a fighter when the sticks realized they didn't have a lot of physical fighters in their party. He's also the most stand-offish member of the group.

-Yellow's character Spark was originally going to be a chaotic evil character, but some pouting and pleading from Red and Blue caused them to relent and change to chaotic neutral. They were a little annoyed about this, but whatever.

-All of the characters' backstories take a little influence from their actual lives. Red's druid/ranger Carmine (chaotic good), however, is the one where it's most obvious, having spent much of their childhood being possessed by a forest god before breaking free, fighting them, and then the two coming to a truce and the forest god training Carmine in the art of the druid. It may look like he's wearing fur pants, but they're actually made of leaves.

-When being handed a character sheet for a rouge, Purple demanded to know why everyone assumed they'd pick that class. Red, who had been sent to get them, responded, "Well, what else would you be?" Purple couldn't respond and just huffily filled out the character sheet. Their character Amethyst is a chaotic neutral.

-MT was a last minute edition to the game, having been guilt-tripped/emotionally manipulated by Purple into joining. His barbarian Bronze seems like a chaotic neutral, but they're actually lawful neutral: They just follow barbarian law instead of the law of the country. TSC is the only one aware of this, and silently finds it hilarious.

Some Shenanigans:

-Each party member has their own motive to join Azure's quest to save the world: Bronze because of honour and also this kid's stupid and will get themselves killed if they let them go alone, Carmine because the world-ending quest has put the forest and the forest god in danger and he wants to save them, Amethyst for the promise of safety and security afterwords, Spark because research for her magical weapons, and Limerick because Azure agreed to help him with a personal matter in exchange.

-Limerick originally didn't start out with a cape. Upon realizing every other character had a cape however (Yellow tried to argue that Spark's poncho thing didn't count, but Green said it counted in spirit), they decided Limerick had to have one too. TSC said that since character creation is over, they'd have to buy a cape at the nearby town. This caused Green to get annoyed and reject every cape they 'found' in the shops. It went on like this for a while until TSC got bored and turned it into an insane side quest, complete with a vampire mafia. Limerick staked the boss vampire and stole their cape.

-Bronze is a hunter; Carmine is a vegan. They get into quite a few arguments because of this and more than once Carmine would sabotage Bronze's hunts and get them into trouble with whatever the highest level monster in the area was. Consequentially, Bronze is a little better at stealth than your average barbarian.

-Purple has a bad habit of taking inter-party conflict too personally, and at some points gets legitimately upset. They repeated have to be reminded that it's just a game, and occasionally Second will call timeout for them to cool off.

-Every weapon except Limerick's lute has a magical gem on it to enhance it's abilities. Spark has stolen the gem off every weapon except Amethyst's Golden Moon Dagger (which they can never pass the check to steal) at least once for their magical experiments.

-The most loyal, trustworthy, and responsible member of the party is Bronze. Everyone but Purple finds this surprising. The second most is Azure, but they're incredibly naive and keep getting the party into trouble by trying to help people.

-Yellow wants their character to betray the party at some point, and then have a redemption arc. Second is the only one who knows about this, and they're all for it.

-Green is convinced the campaign will have a happy ending, because 'Sec is a sucker.' He isn't wrong.

[onboardsorasora]

gripping thigh!

Anonstie I feel like you wanted something steamy for this prompt but all I could think about was Max hating zombies. Don’t hate meeeee, I’ll probably think of a spicy scene after I post this lol if I do I’ll post that too😅

From this prompt list

The room was dark, and the smell of pizza was rich in the small space. It was the Tuesday before the race weekend, everyone came in early because of potential weather issues expected on Wednesday, and a few of the guys on the grid decided it was the perfect time for a movie night catch up.

Charles invited them all to his room, which was immediately vetoed because everyone knew that meant that there would be paparazzi and fans lurking about and none of them wanted the hassle of trying to figure out the best way to sneak into the hotel.

Instead, they all agreed to meet in Pierre's room. It also helped that the pizza place closest to the Alpine hotel had 'the best vegan options' according to Lewis. And cosigned by Daniel, much to everyone's surprise.

They'd played a bit of FIFA before beginning their movie marathon. Pizza was devoured and Lewis' smug 'I told you so' was noted by the stewards.

Max settled on the couch between Daniel and Lando. He was enjoying himself immensely, they rarely ever had time to do something like this, be anything more than F1 drivers. When they were all home they tended to separate and do their own thing; break off into their smaller friend groups.

He and Daniel spent a lot of time together, they were always going out to dinner or watching sports at Daniel's apartment. They were always close friends but Daniel being back at Red Bull threw them further into close quarters even when they were at work.

Max was aware that there were many videos and tweets about how 'down bad' he was for Daniel. Lando never missed an opportunity to present the newest edits and explain the latest fan theories. Lando's most recent hyperfixation were the ones captioned 'the dick can't be that good'.

Well it wasn't like Max knew now was it? He wished he could confirm or deny just how good Daniel's dick really was. Lando liked to tease him about that too.

But ever since his tyre test, Daniel had been extraordinarily busy. Max wished him good luck the Monday night and then he hadn't seen him again until the following race weekend. Daniel had been as elusive as a cool breeze on a hot day. Too busy flying from place to place to get ready for his first race weekend back in F1.

Now, when he wasn't at the track, Daniel was back in Faenza with his team. Max wasn't sulking, no matter what Lando or Christian said.

Tonight, Daniel was right where he belonged– beside Max. And Max was happy. He found his attention deviating a lot from the movie over to Daniel's stunning profile. He wanted to be able to trace the bridge of his nose with his fingers and not just his eyes. Max wanted to catalogue each of Daniel's freckles with his lips, kissing each new one he found hidden in his hairline.

He'd been so distracted looking for differences in Daniel's appearance that he completely missed when the first movie– a gratuitous action flick– ended and the second movie began. The squelching and creaking noises coming from the screen let Max know that he wasn't going to like whatever movie Charles had picked. Because only Charles would pick this kind of movie.

He felt Lando's eyes on him and Max shook his head. He was ok. It would be fine. So what if it was some form of scary movie, as long as there weren't any zombies.

The music intensified and a jump scare introduced the 'outbreak' that caused the major villain in the film. And of course…it was a sort of parasitic zombie.

Max swallowed uncomfortably but said nothing. He felt Daniel's shoulder press into his a little and he smiled over at the beautiful man looking at him with concern. Of course, his friends knew he wasn't the biggest fan of zombies. Which is why he was maybe a smidge annoyed that Charles would choose one. He'd made a grand announcement that everyone would love his choice. He was wrong of course, as always.

The movie continued and Max got more and more uncomfortable. The music raised his anxiety levels and the piercing subsonic sound they used to denote that a zombie was near really grated on his nerves.

"Do you want to go outside?" Daniel whispered in his ear and Max suppressed a shudder. He turned his head, finding Daniel leaned in close. If he tilted his head a little they could kiss, maybe.

"No. I am fine." Max lied. He knew it wasn't a good one because he could clearly see the doubt in Daniel's eyes, even in the dark.

"Come, let's go out on the balcony." Daniel gripped Max's thigh and Max's attention zeroed in on the new press of their bodies. It's not like Daniel had never touched his thigh before, they'd played enough gay chicken over the years and Daniel had touched Max almost everywhere by now. Non sexually.

And of course, this touch wasn't sexual. But this also wasn't gay chicken.

Daniel squeezed his thigh again before standing up, Max followed him because he was gleefully at Daniel's mercy.

They escaped through the sliding doors to the balcony, the balmy night air and city sounds greeting them. Daniel sat on the wicker two seater and patted the dark blue cushion beside him. Max sat obediently.

"There, that's better." Daniel grinned, folding his arms behind his head. Max stared at the tattoos on his bicep that exposed themselves as if he got a flash of ankle and he needed to keep looking before the maiden realized his perversion.

"You wanna stay out here for the whole movie?" Max asked dubiously, hoping he hadn't let the silence happen for too long.

"What, tired of my presence already? Absence didn't make the heart grow fonder, Maxy?" Daniel teased.

"Never." Max tried for a joke but he knew his voice sounded too earnest. Daniel's smile softened.

"I missed you too Maxy Max." He whispered as if a confession only to be heard by the two of them.

“I’m, of course, happy you’re back on the grid but I miss you too much, I think.” Max felt lightheaded, and bit his tongue to just…stop talking.

Daniel’s smile dimmed a little, “I mean at least I was able to work on the last few updates in the sim for you. Adrian said we got good data—“

“Of course I don’t only miss you in the sim Daniel.” Max rolled his eyes, Daniel could be slow sometimes. He guessed he was doing this. “I missed you here. With me.”

He watched as Daniel’s eyes widened then his smile followed suit.

“Yeah nah. It hasn’t been that lonely.”

Max gripped his thighs, remembering the time that Victoria told him that men were shit at taking hints. He needed to text her an apology, he should have believed her.

“Daniel, just kiss me. Please.” Max ordered and Daniel’s face slackened in shock before he nodded.

“Yeah. Ok.” He cupped Max’s cheeks and pulled him in, Max’s eyes fluttered closed in pleasure. He floated out of his body while Daniel kissed him, his mind far away from the zombies infecting people on Pierre’s tv.

[sagittato]

This is my first post and it’s gonna be low effort because I swear I can’t get this off my mind—

Do people from twisted wonderland realize how much Azul Ashengrotto could potentially look up at Vil Schoenhiet??? ONLY @jxnebuggy ACKNOWLEDGES THIS IN HER fem!twst FANFICS AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!

Vil is a successful, confident, drop dead gorgeous fashion icon. He has a whole business for cosmetics because he’s so gorgeous. He’s very skilled in potion making, so much so bro makes his OWN makeup. He has a strict diet he follows and it’s clearly gving him the results he wants. Vil Schoenheit is everything Azul wants to be!! On top of that, Vil is Azul’s bloody UPPERCLASSMAN.

And does everyone forget how Azul literally info dumped about the man in Book 5 Chapter 2?? Nobody talks about it. They’re too busy headcannoning Sebek or Riddle or Floyd to be neurodivergent af (jkjk)!! Such a shame Vil told him to stfu but in his own pretty, 3w4-coded ways😔😔

Azul has shown before he will invest inhumane amounts of time into things he thinks are important. An example of this is in his birthday jackect card, he talked in a fair amount of detail about the quality of the pillow Ace gave him. He could do this because he researched ON pillow qualities.

It’s likely when he was trying to step up his game with success or diet, he stumbled upon Vil, researched the frick out of this guy, and lo and behold became a fan of his.

Some honourable mentions are when he made a deal with Vil in his ceremonial robes. I haven’t seen it because I wanna save the feeling of raw happiness with these two characters interacting once I get the card. If we didn’t see Azul show any sort of fan behaviour when Vil made that deal then I firmly believe he was kicking, giggling, twirling his hair off camera behind closed doors over it. Then I do hear in the second Camp Vargas event, Azul and Vil had some more interactions! I thiiiiiiink they were getting competitive with each other??? That changes nothing from my ignorant eye. It’s NRC. Everyone is really competitive and will turn on each other’s backs faster than Leona can fall asleep (bro’s actually depressed, I swear).

Anyway, I think it’s only right I list my headcanons now for them:

Azul gobbles up any dietary/beauty tips Vil has

Azul uses Vil’s makeup brand that’s probably vegan

He also collects Vil’s magazines and puts them all in a box hidden away in his closet or under his bed

Vil probably finds him annoying💀💀💀 (what can I say? he has a reputation for not stfu around higher class people)

Elaborating on that, Vil does respect his success but I bet he can see the unhealthy greed that lies under it all. Thus, that’s prolly a reason why he would try to distance himself away from Azul.

BADLY wants to collaborate with Vil because Mostro Lounge profits would soar if they did. Knowing his bold arse he probably made the request at least thrice and Vil shut him down each time. He’s obviously not gonna stop because we all know him. (never back down never what—)

Yes, I know he canonically looks up to Ursula, but I think he would like someone… yknow… alive to look up to.

Keep in mind I’m only on Book 5 Chapter 29 as of this moment so it’s totally possible I missed some things! Leave your opinions, headcanons, or anything else in the comments, I’d love to see them! Do leave spolier warnings though. That way I can decide whether I wanna spoil things first myself or not.

EDIT: I already fixed it but did I really just say book 6 😭😭😭 i meant book 5 i am so sry hdgdhjjjdhdjj

[pokechampash]

This story includes detailed farting, sharting, and diarrhea, don't like it? Scroll! All characters used are 18+

Finally got around to doing the prompt that someone sent in

Most high schools have a star student, a student who stands out from everyone else, someone who's in throughout the whole school and maybe even other schools for their talents, sometimes they could be a football jock, and that would be the case for Bob, or as most of his teachers and peers like to call him Bubble Butt Bob! He was known for his awesome trick shots and natural talent for football, he even had his own all boys fanclub, but by far the thing that made him most popular was his rocking body, especially his muscular ass! If only he was as good at academics as he was at football and flexing his huge muscles.

“Dude seriously another E?” Jake giggled as Bob groaned, obviously annoyed, Jake was Bob’s childhood friend and the second best player on their football team. He and Bob are very close but he still sometimes takes great joy in his buddy’s downfalls.

“It's not funny dude, if I fail this class coach is definitely gonna bench me for the rest of the season, I gotta get my grade up, at least enough for it to be a passing grade” Bob said, crumbling up his report card and throwing it into a nearby trashcan.

“You'll have to get at least a B or higher on our final exam then, better hit the books buddy” Jake said with a wink as he gave Bob’s ass a firm slap, it jiggled for a few seconds as a result.

“Alright we can study at my house tonight since the exam is tomorrow, and stop touching my ass man!” Bob said, rubbing his ass cheek.

“Haha sorry, couldn't resist. I love the way it jiggles!” Jake chuckled making Bob blush, the two friends continued their banter as they started walking to Bob’s house.

The next morning

“Hey jackass wake up, we gotta get some breakfast and get to school, we have the final today” Jake said as he nudged Bob until he was awake, the two quickly got ready together and made their way to the nearby gas station for a quick breakfast, Jake suggested some Twinkies.

“Do those things have milk? You know how I get when I eat anything dairy” Bob said remembering the time he almost shit himself while he was on a run because he mistook regular milk for soy milk.

“No you'll be fine bro, I think they're vegan or something” Jake said with confidence, believing his friend Bod ended up eating a lot of Twinkies and rushing over to school. They made it to their math class a bit early so they sat down and prepared for the quiz, their math teacher Mr. Henry was also in class preparing all the testing materials.

“Well look what we have here! I see you're both earlier, guessing you need a good grade on your final to pass huh? I wasn't expecting either of you to show up considering you goofed around in my class the whole year” Mr. Henry said bitterly, giving Bob a stern, Bob and Jake said silent with guilty expressions on their faces. The class started filling up with more students, Bob was starting to get cramps in his stomach but he just ignored it thinking it was just him being nervous about the test.

“Alright the test is coming out now, good luck!” Mr Henry said as one of the students started passing the test, soon the room was silent as everyone started their test, including Bob who was still dealing with cramps, and now it was feeling like gas.

“Fuck why am I feeling like this” Bob thought as he shifted his big ass and careful let out a silent fart, luckily no one heard it but it was obvious the kid behind him could smell it. Bob continued the test letting out farts from time to time to relieve his cramping stomach, however his farts were starting to get bigger and louder, and each time he let one out they got wetter, he was slowly starting to feel like he wa going to shit himself, and his classmates were getting annoyed by the smell as the whole classroom was starting to smell like fresh shit.

“Ugh, did someone shit their pants or something?” one of the students from the back said with a look of disgust.

“Smells like a public bathroom here” another annoyed student added.

“God it smells like my bathroom after my dad eats taco bell” a kid from the front row chimed in, Bob started to sweat and desperately raised his hand, Mr. Henry sighed.

“What is it Bob?” Mr Henry asked sternly.

“C-Can I use the bath-” Bob started as he let out another ripe fart but Mr. Henry cut him off by slamming his hand on his desk.

“So you think you can goof off in my class for the whole school year then go run off to the bathroom so you can skip this final? Yeah not happening buddy, and you should eat less fiber, your farts stink” Mr Henry said firmly glaring at Bob, some of Bob’s classmates looked at him disgusted as they now knew who was stinking up the classroom, Bob tried to open his mouth to plead his case but he ending up letting out an especially wet fart, shivering he rushed through the final section of the quiz and raced out the class with his hand on his clenched ass wet farting as most of the class started to laugh at him.

“The closest bathroom from here is the second floor bathroom next to Mr. Cedric’s class” Bob thought frantically as he started to run towards the first floor’s staircase, however he was quickly stopped as someone jumped from around the corner blocking his way. It was one of his many friends Chase!

“Hey Bob, how's our best football player doing?” Chase said, nudging Bob’s arm with a wink.

“O-Oh hey Chase, I'm doing good, I actually have somewhere I really have to be so if you could get out of my way that be great” Bob said clenching his large ass cheeks

“Oh come on man I haven't seen you for a long time, at least stick around long enough for Miles to get that burrito you like from downtown” Chase said giving Bob a puppy dog eyes look, his stomach rumbled dangerously loud as he heard the word burrito.

“Next time I promise dude just get out of the way or I'll do it by force” Bob said, bouncing his leg a bit.

“Okay okay no need to get aggressive I'm moving, can I get a feel of your ass first, everyone tells me how heavy it is but I wanna see for myself” Chase said as he slid out of the way but before Bob could answer Chase firmly grabbed Bob's ass then felt it and gave it a hard slap causing a juicy fart to burst out, Bob rushed away and up the staircase. He ended up running into a few students from his fanclub who insisted on getting autographs and pictures with him, not wanting to be rude Bob accepted causing him to let out more farts to relieve the pressure, as soon as he signed the last notebook he ran up to the second floor, his urgent need to go had gotten worse since people kept smacking ass causing him to fart by surprise, unfortunately for him the ass slaps continued as he ran into more friends from the football team and fanclub members, their slaps were starting to get harder with more force causing Bob’s farts to become wetter and bigger, his boxers were starting to feel damp, everyone seemed to be in love with his giant ass!

“Ugh finally, almost there just gotta make it to the bathroom before someone else tries slapping my ass” Bob thought as he slowly made his way over to the toilet door hugging his gurgling stomach, he was so focused on keeping his gas in and holding his stomach he didn't even notice one of his teammates and best buddies Alex was charging up behind him with his hand up ready to slap his ass as hard as he could!

“Nice ass captain!” Alex said with a wink as he slapped Bob so hard he stumbled back a bit in shock, the force of the slap was to hard for Bob and his stomach gave in as he feel on sharted himself, and more of his leaky diarrhea was starting to come out, Bob raced into the bathroom and tried all the stall doors but they were locked! Bob started fully shitting himself in front kf fhe stall as chunky diarrhea flew out of his giant ass as he let out more sharts, once the people in the stalls came out and saw the massive pile of liquid shit on the floor they fanned the air and covered their mouths running in disgust, poor Bob was mortified. After that whole scene he hided in the toilets until school was over then made a mad dash home so he could go change, he was horrified to find out his was wearing his lucky black boxers, the shit stain was to deep to wash out and the smell wasn't going away so he had to trash them, and the cherry on top of Bob’s shitty sundae was Bob score was one percentage away from passing meaning he'd need to do summer school this year! Poor Bubble Butt Bob!

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Meinu Henshu Dobson! The abandoned magical girl thing....

When it comes to his “original” work, such as Formera, Alex ze Pirate, Percy Phillips etc. I think that Dobson always had these two (of many) main flaws work against him.

His ideas were too generic for his own good. I am not necessarily against a “generic” idea for a story, as we live in a time where almost every tale has been told countless times or the basics and tropes of certain genres are more than well known to a lot of us. Sonic Frontiers e.g. has been called by some a “Breath of the Wild” knock off with typical Sonic game plot elements, but that doesn’t change the fact it was (at least to me) a lot of fun.

However, there is a thing as being “too generic”, which to me is when your story not only follows in the footstep of something already well known, but lacks even more personality than you would think at first. The reason why something like that can happen, is because the creator may not spend enough time to establish elements of their work, that can help make certain characters, the basic plot etc. stand out a bit. Such as personality traits, the goals of the main characters, the rules by which the world functions. And this in turn happens often, because past an initial pitch idea, they do not really flesh things out, thinking they can figure more details out down the line. In Dobson’s work this shows to me e.g. a lot in Formera, where the main character meets along the line a discount hippie version of Muten Roshi that does not play any relevance past his 5-6 pages of screentime, the leads lack personality, the idea feels a lot like a proto-Isekai (preteen magically transported to another realm) from the time BEFORE the genre became more well known in the 2010s and we don’t even get a lot of story behind the world of Formera itself. Or Percy Phillips, who really is just a knock off version of the worst traits people associated with Sherlock Holmes past 1918 and who even compares his own archenemy straight to Moriarity. Pretty much all of these works lacked a certain “spark” of individuality and were not fleshed out enough when he began to work on them. And I am not saying, that if you want to create a story, you need to know every miniscule detail already two days after you had the initial idea. Many great stories can develop some of their greatest moments along the way. But you need to have some basic concept for things as themes, main characters and tone kinda in your mind, while also not being afraid to flesh things out.

Dobson never really went through with a lot of his stuff As much as I hate a badly told story and I want certain shows/comics/books/whatever just to end, I hate the idea of an “abrupt” ending even more. Even if a story is undoubtedly shit, I kinda want to see its’ creator manage to at least bring it to a proper end story wise, instead of someone pulling the plug and leaving it at whatever point it was by then without resolving its main plot or giving answers to certain things in them. So you shouldn’t be surprised, that Dobson’s “storydriven” comics really annoy me, seeing how a lot of them were just unceremoniously put into never ending hiatus by him. Simply because they did not turn into hits that made him instantly famous online. A behavior, that to me always signified just how much Dobson cared more about himself, than the actual work and characters he created.

Because of these flaws, whenever Dobson hinted on the idea that he was going to publish something new or that he had something in mind he wanted to try out, me and many other people just rolled our eyes, knowing that it won’t likely come ever out. Or that if it did, it would be more generic than white bread with vegan butter and be over after four weeks of no one caring much for it online.

And yet, Dobson managed to surprise me and other people in 2018 when he posted that thing, showing how he was even beyond the point of having only “generic” ideas.

This post to me just recks of desperation to stay relevant, while also showing how little he understands the very thing he wants to talk about.

I will admit, I am not very familiar with the magical girl genre overall. Part of it is, because there is so much to it and that it had been in something of a flux when it comes to things such as tone and intend over the last 15+ years alone.

However, I do know the following: The magical girl genre is essentially an invention of the 20th century, that has its roots likely in the 50s and 60s. At least Osamu Tezuka’s “Princess Knight” and things like the 60s western tv show “Bewitched” seemed to have quite a bit of an impact in the 60s and 70s for people in Japan to not only create stories with female characters in the lead, but also give them magic powers to fight bad guys. Even back then the genre being in a steady flux, as some shows were selling themselves of their rather cutesy design for the heroins, had the main character just have silly but fun adventures, while others focused more on action to also attract boys, at times even creating rather “raunchy” content for the time being. Examples of all of that would be shows like Magical Princess Minky Momo, Majokko Meg-Chan and Cutey Honey.

However, it wasn’t until the first anime adaptation of Sailor Moon hit the airwaves in 1992, that the Magical Girl genre became a worldwide phenomenon.

Now to be fair, Sailor Moon did not invent all common tropes already associated with the genre (such as magical sidekicks, characters, aging up when turning into their hero personas, tomboyish designs, action, the power of friendship or love motivating others to stop the bad guys…) but it did popularize the “monster of the week” structure, the concept of a team of heroines fighting together instead of just one lead character, the increasing escalation of conflict within a specific story arc and so on for a general audience. Making the anime a smash hit, that others decided to copy. Some of them doing so successfully while also establishing their own identity along the way (such as the Pretty Cure franchise), while others… not so much.

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is total GARBAGE!

Overall, the magical genre has been separated in 4 major camps as of now: a. the classical genre of cute girls fighting against evil and having silly adventures or fighting the monster of the week, mostly functioning as coming of age stories (such as Card Captor Sakura)

b. The more action oriented approach as codified by something like Pretty Cure and in the west would e.g. be determined by She-Ra or Ladybug to some degree

c. The “parody”, often times playing with expectations for comedic results (Magical Girl Ore)

d. The “deconstruction” like “Magica Madoka”. Shows and stories that look at the otherwise positively presented concept of a magical girl story and will turn it around by focusing on existential horror, the grim reality of young girls and kids forced to fight against evil or are just plain violent shlock that tries to present itself as “more meaningful” than it actually is. And btw, I do not hate darker takes on rather light subjects, but I just think the medium of anime had been kinda overrun by it in the last 10 years.

Again, I myself am not really following the genre that much. I watched Sailor Moon when I was younger, I heard of some of those deconstructions over the years (but have no intend of really watching them) and frankly, I may give PrettyCure a bit of a second try after watching at least a cute anniversary movie of the show recently at a convention.

But even if it is not entirely my cup of tea, I do get to some degree how they work. What makes them popular with the audience, the tones that work and don’t, what tropes to expect from a certain show at times depending on which camp it is from etc.

As such, I also get that if you want to make a story within the genre, you need to have a bit more in mind to it than just “It’s about magical girls fighting evil”

Cause there are a shitton of ways how this can be done.

It is like saying “I want to make an American like superhero story”, ignoring the fact that this does not specify enough what you are aiming for. Like, do you want it to be in tone more like a golden age comic, a child friendly cartoon or a modern comic? Is your main character going to have inherit superpowers or gain them? Does he or she even have powers or are they relying on gadgets? Are their villains normal people, superpowered freaks or cosmic horrors? What the heck do you want to go for!

This is a question, that is more than justified in this post.

Cause here is the deal: aside of it having a talking animal companion, transformation sequences and a school setting to it (which in itself is a mild surprise, considering Dobson’s hatred for institutions of education) he has literally not thought about anything. And even what he has isn’t just barebones, it is bone scratches.

“My story shall be set in a school”. Great. What kind of school? Elementary? High School? College? Waldorf School? Private Academy? Is the main character supposed to be an actress going to a film school and uses her education and acting skills to at times trick the monsters during fights?

Talking animal companion… so, regular animal that gets the power to talk via magic by accident like Spike the Dog in the Equestria Girls specials, or was it already born with the ability?

But it is the part where he asks the people reading that post “but what about weapons, magical items, vilains etc.?” that really drives me nuts, even just as some idiot who at times pitches ideas for fanfictions. Because this right there? This is what Dobson, as the creator of the story, should truly come up with. The “meat” on the bone” so to speak. The thing separating his work from the rest.

The reason I say that, is the following: To me, every story is build on the following “pillars”: Premise, (basic) World Building, character, progression.

Premise being what the story is about, summed up in like one or two sentences. Character defining who the main leads are and what basic personality traits and goal define them, world building determining e.g. in what time period the plot is set, important locations and so on, while progression shows us where the plot is heading post the initial starting point. These pillars also work in a constant tandem with each other, meaning e.g. that with the plot progression, characters can change in personality, that the world building and premise becomes more complex etc.

And the thing is, based on this post alone, I have no idea what it is Dobson wants to sell to us. He doesn’t give us a name for a lead character, he doesn’t give us a basic premise and the fact he hasn’t thought even the most basic idea for villains and weapons makes it more than obvious, that he has no “world building” ideas either. His “pitch” for a story is less than a note made on a napkin.

See, you can love or hate Sailor Moon and Ladybug as much as you want (I know I have not really a positive opinion on the later) but even if they’ve made shit up along the way, they knew what they were or are going for.

With Sailor Moon e.g. it is easily established, that the main character named Usagi is a clumsy, rather whinny school girl living in Tokyo, who has the power to turn into Sailor Moon, a guardian of the light who has to save earth from Queen Beryl of the Dark Kingdom. The idea of her fellow senshis having powers mostly based around elements, while being named after planets of our solar system is also established quickly as a theme, as is e.g. that the villains are named after minerals. And no, I am not making a Steven Universe joke now.

Action to save the world against the power of darkness by trusting in your friends.... Meanwhile for Ladybug, the story is set in Paris conflict is centered around Ladybug and CatNoir fighting Hawkmoth, who wants their Miraculouses to change reality with a wish. The respective powers of the heroes and villains are established quickly, as is the main “civilian” conflict of Marinette having a crush on Adrien, both not knowing that the other is part of the hero theme. All while the “action” is centered on Hawkmoth creating new monsters of the week by corrupting civilians, who need to be freed of an Akuma, while in Sailor Moon the monsters were either already existing demonic minions of the bad guy, artificially created via objects or civilians who had been corrupted without the villain having to monologue first or waiting for them to be in a bad mood.

...vs romance. Though to be fair, the movie does a way better job at making me care for these two thirsty preteens than five seasons of Thomas Astruc's thing

But Dobson’s post… it lacks everything hinting on him having even a broad idea of what he wants to do.

Just to dissect the post even further:

First paragraph, Dobson says he wants to make a short magical girl series. Define short. The average Pretty Cure season needs around 52 episodes to wrap up its plot, Magica Madoka did the same in 12 episodes and one movie (edit: I know it was thre movies, but two of them are just compilation movies, so that doesn’t count much in my opinion). Sailor Moon’s first major story arc in anime consisted of 41 episodes, Miraculous meanwhile needed over 130 episodes and two specials to finally wrap up the abysmal Hawkmoth “arc”.

Already, if you don’t want to overwork yourself with the idea, you are better off actually setting up parameters yourself, instead of asking others what they think you should do. Not to forget, up until that point in time, Dobson had not really created much for years. SYAC comics aside, he was only doing work on rather awkward Ladybug fan comics and worked in “secret” on Cabin’s Rest. So the expectations he could even do with that idea was lower than his Patreon income. And to be frank, even “short” magical girl stories I know like Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne or Card Captor Sakura needed around 7-12 volumes of like 200+ pages per volume to wrap their stories up. Dobson meanwhile had not once in his life published even a third volume to any of his stuff.

Second paragraph, essentially asking for others to come up with the ideas. I mean sure, he rather asks for average trope a reader wants to see instead of others to automatically give him all the character designs etc. But it is still a bad move.

As stated earlier, there are different camps of magical girl series, so it can be already hard to define what counts as “average”. I mean, it all depends on how far the creator, rather than the audience wants to go. Magica Madoka is a completely different Behemoth than Sailor Moon, and Sailor Moon itself, despite its own repetative elements was still darker than lets say Ladybug is. I mean, at least Sailor Moon did not romanticize abusive parents and characters, the main lead was not a crepy stalker and characters could die in it.

Third paragraph, as stated further above, confirming he has no idea what to even go for. Cause if he had even the slightest idea, he may already have in mind something for the villains and heroes, that would fit in the “mood” of the story he wants to tell.

Fuck me, he can’t even think of basic powers. Like okay, don’t just outright look at Ladybug and copy the powersets there. But come on. Just open up a Pokemon gaming guide while blindfolded, put your finger on any random page describing a move and then make that move a superpower. All you have to do then is think of a scenario in which whatever power it is, even if it is otherwise a sucker, would work. Even if it is just for the sake of comedic effect. 

Like honestly, some idea I have: How about a team of magical girls that have powers correlating to figures of Greek mythology. Give one the ability to foresee the future like the great Cassandra, give one character the powers of Demeter, meaning she can summon plants, another one is a great Hunter like Artemis, one is a wise leader who can up with great strategies like Athena…

Dang, I think I just came up with way more of an “original” idea than Dobson.

And let’s be real here: Thinking up basic shit is at times not that hard. It is finetuning those ideas, that is.

How can anyone working in the creative fields, a person who actually went to college to study animation and how to draw comic, have failed to catch up on such basic concepts behind storytelling? I know kindergarden kids who are able to catch up on it, just by having watched more than one cartoon over their young life.

Then again, THIS right here is the advice he has given once in term of how to "write" a story.

Terry Pratchett's ghost: What a wanker!

And finally, anything and all suggestions are welcome? Yeah, I press X for doubt here.

After all, Dobson was never really what I would consider the most open person to anything that was not really within his comfort zone. So I think that if anyone had for example suggested him to create a gay male character as a villain or supporting character or that he should have taken a page from something like the Magical Girl Raising Project, he would have likely just blocked that person and thrown a fit about how people have corrupted something as pure and innocent as the magical girl genre.

In doing so ignoring, that he had done the same with his rather creepy Ladybug fancomics

You know... for KIDS!

In addition to that, there is also to be considered, that if he had listened to too many ideas and suggestions, he would have been unable to really create something decent anyway. You know, too many cooks, throwing in everything and the kitchen sink… that sort of logic.

But let us be real here: This “thing” whatever it was supposed to be in Dobson’s head, was never going to materialize anyway. After all, when was the last time up till then, that Dobson actually bothered to create something “new” all by himself, instead of simply doing a fan comic or using SYAC as platform to whine how bad nerds are? Plus, considering the timeframe he started to post it (around the same time he started making Ladybug comic strips that got popular on tumblr and instagramm, though at times not by his own doing), it is obvious he only tried to jump on the bandwagon that was Miraculous Ladybug. His “favorite” little cartoon at the time, that ironically has earned a lot of criticism over the recent years, to the point people reevaluate how good of a magical girl show it really is compared to either the classics or new stuff coming out.

The bottom line is, Dobson tried to generate some sort of hype for something he wanted to do, without even having a basic idea of what it was supposed to be, that he wanted to create. And in posting this, the only thing he really did was show to the rest of the world, that as a cartoonist, he didn’t even grasp something so basic, My little Pony: Friendship is Magic and the Owl House actually got it.

Kneel before your queens!

Well, that is a lot. However, I do not want to end just on a “bitter” note with this entry. Instead, I want to ask some of you, to prove to me that you may be a little more imaginative than Dobson, by perhaps posting to me some ideas you may have for a magical girl inspired story or character. Not even something too complicated, just whatever you think would be fun, dark, interesting and so on. I promise, I am not going to steal your ideas for my own gain. All I want to see, is if the rest of the world there has a few more ideas, than a professional cartoonist.

And in turn, I think I will try and flesh my own “pitch” from a few paragraphes above out a bit, if you like.

[shibusawaz]

thoughts on scott pilgrim takes off (i have a lot. i wont shut up for the forseeable future)

I like how, at least a couple times, rain is used to show changes in characters. How they move up or down in a relationship hierarchy. How Matthew Patel finally got the respect he deserved by battling it out in the epic rainy scene of his theatre kid dreams. How Gideon Gordon Whatshisface lost everything and was sent begging and pleading to Julie, with the rain weighing down on him even worse to show how low he really got. How Roxie set off the sprinklers, and finally got herself on equal footing with Ramona. I'm reading too much into it, probably, but i like how rain was used for the exes. I wish it happened more.

matthew patel you beautiful goth theatre idiot. amazing guy, 10/10

I really did enjoy how Scott was more of a... a plot device for most of the season. I read one or two of the comics, and I wasn't a big fan. He seemed dry to me then, but his absence seems to add a lot to his character.

great to see vegans be made fun of so much. really funny

I like how Gideon just starts crying sometimes. Absolutely fantastic. I dont hate him or anything bjt i thought it was really cool that they made him start bawling

Roxie getting closure for her relationship is fantastic. absolutely amazing. Really realistic lesbian character, too. enough said

Idk how i havent mentioned it but this series is. fucking FASCINATING visually. great graphics, memorable and cozy style. Breaks a lot of rules, adds elements that aren't in traditional animation.

At some points it was pretty annoying to see the 3d model aspect of the animation poke through. For the resources used and the overall quality, though, it's fine.

matthew patel my babygirl...... come listen to joy divisiob with me......