#like it feels like when i get into a new media interest and just. cannot think abt Anything else for a few months

[dandyshucks]

literally spends all day thinking about him and somehow still ends up sighing wistfully at the end of the day and thinking to myself "i want to think about him more...."

[kalfui]

been thinking about aroace alastor a lot, in the sense that ofc this is simply canon and i wouldnt even BE thinking about it beyond a simple "woohoo this is fun, let's think about how that might have affected him and his relationships both whilst alive and after his death and fic and art and the usual joy of character analysis" if it weren't for the fact that it seems to be a flipping fight to just. Have that canon be acknowledged, which is taking up so much energy that it's honestly hard for me to enjoy him as much as I wish, considering this rep is supposed to be For people like me

and I think that's so much of my frustration around all of this, which IS mitigated by just finding a few chill people to follow and focusing on that -- but even then most of my "suggested for you" for this show is alastor x [insert any random main character] shipping/sexual content -- is that this is an offering for people to learn something new and delve into experiences that they may not have thought much about and the ones who know what aroace means, and in particular within the realms of how this character is being written within this particular very-sex-heavy universe (so, not so different from real life), by and large decided to just go "nah." people aren't interested in aroace experiences, and it's weird from a "so you just don't like a large part of this character's canon traits then, do you like the actual character, or just the OC you've made up in your head that happens to look like them?" perspective, but mostly for me it's that a lot of the way people talk/write about this it's like aroaceness is something that needs to be Fixed Somehow, and thank Goodness there's a neat little loophole that we can utilise in the form of "well sooooome aroace people do want to have sex and be in a relationship"

so many of the things I can't help but see, block, move on from, and in the ao3 alastor tag (which, it's frankly wild to me that aroace alastor has to be a specific tag, because so much of it ISN'T that, and even then we have to sift) is either just the equivalent of going "lalalala if I don't think about the aroaceness it's not real" or the even more disturbing "now how do we fix this so that the ace character can still fuck somehow." it's really creepy, and very much how people talk about aspec people irl. it's just incredibly poor taste and shows that this community is still so invisible

people really ought to think more about why this is such an important hill for them to die on that they want to Fix aroaceness in one of the only genre-fiction characters to be canonically such, ON a show where every other character enthusiastically enjoys sex and most of them are in established relationships or various slowburns -- why is the character that is not interested the one that is shipped with every other character to such an extreme?

I feel like anyone writing an aroace alastor that mysteriously can be compelled into sex and a romantic relationship needs to give me a 3000 page essay on the history and philosophy of aspec identities with a special section on aroace representation in media

but ultimately it's just a "look. please be kinder. if you look in our sandbox we have barely any toys, why are you coming into this sandbox to take more of them and then rubbing our faces in it and THEN being rude to aspec people when we say it makes many of us uncomfortable to be sidelined like this?"

I keep thinking of that one screenshot that was going around tumblr of the person who wrote straight brokeback mountain fic that everyone was going WTF about. why is it alright to "headcanon" away canon aroaceness (and mock people who point out its canonicity), but it's largely agreed to be in poor taste to do so with other canonically established queer identities?

I get fandom's not activism, but it sure sometimes can be a yardstick for how much I'd trust people to respect me irl, when I cannot enjoy aroace escapism without being talked over/mocked/yelled at AND having aspec theories appropriated without any understanding of what they actually mean or how they apply -- this history and community is a part of my life, and it's like people are just traipsing mud through it with the lack of respect for it (as lucifer would say "you come into MY house bitch???")

(apologies this got long. you don't have to post if you don't want to, I get that it could be inflammatory and don't want to put that on you, I've just been needing to vent. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy with how nigh-impossible it is to avoid this -- why am I the one who's having to make all that extra effort to enjoy a character written with my community in mind? don't y'all have enough toys???)

Don't apologize, I absolutely love reading how others feel about this situation, and I completely agree.

I think it's sad how people don't want to think about a characters aroaceness and how it affects them and instead just throw that part of them out of the window. I think it's even more interesting since Alastor canonically thinks that he's straight, but hasn't found the right one yet.

"Headcanoning" a canonically aroace character a different sexuality is so.. I don't even have a word it. Many people "headcanon" Alastor a different sexuality, but keep it canon when it's Angel Dust or Vaggie. Personally, I think it stems from aphobia. Just like you mentioned, people feel the need to "fix" aroace characters, like their sexuality is a messed up or broken part of them. It reminds me of when I used to hear teachers talk about how everyone will someday find love, and the ones who don't will have a huge gap in their heart and be empty. It's quite terrifying just how similar it is. The fact that he, as the only confirmed aroace character, is shipped the most, too, is quite saddening.

It's disturbing how they search and search for stuff to use as excuses when they ship aroace characters. "Aroace people can still date," "It's just headcanons," "Alastor is not canonically aro," and so on.

Ao3 scares me, especially with characters like Alastor. You don't even wanna know how many times I've seen people say, "I know Alastor is aroace, but we'll just ignore that" in fics. Most of the time, they even change his character completely, and he's so out of character.

It also kinda disgusts me with the stuff people say about Alastor, I can be scrolling on Tumblr and a post comes up saying how Alastor would fuck the living shit out of you and it's so fucking disturbing and graphic, I guess this is just how it is generally when people talk about fan favorite characters, but when it's an aroace character too, like.. no, he wouldn't do any of that.. It's so weird. This is what people care about, sexualizing. They don't even seem to care how much of a complex character he actually is, but only how he would be during sex, and it's quite disturbing that most of the time he is the victim to these type of comments.

And, with the amount of hate I've gotten from tiktokers in my comment replies saying how either Alastor isn't aro, how he's just fictional and it's not erasing any representation by shipping him, how aroace people can still date, how Viv allowed them to ship him, and even saying that it's okay to ship him because he's a stereotype and bad rep (???) and whatever else they have to say, I quite literally do not care. I'm not gonna be humiliated into silence, I'm not ashamed about the fact I'm trying to keep these crumbs of representation we have left. "Boohoo, you talk too much about Alastor being aroace," and I'll continue, I think that's a lovely and very interesting part about his character, especially from the time period is from, and the fact he's unaware too.

it's kinda sad how a lot of people don't even know that he's aro, I wouldn't either since all the fandom does with him is ship him. There are so many other relationships people could dive into, Husk and Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie, Vox and Valentino, and many more, but yet they go for the aroace character.. Also the fact that since the pilot the character he's mostly been shipped with is Angel, a character who makes a lot of sexual remarks towards Alastor which he very obviously feels repulsed and disgusted by, is kinda just.. where's the appeal when he's clearly disgusted? Is that part of it? I'm glad that there is a side of this fandom where people actually love him for his character and not just because he's attractive.

Other than that, I'm very glad the show itself knows how to show he can have meaningful friendships and platonic relationships with people, such as Rosie, and didn't make him an edgelord that hates everyone and doesn't have friends for some random reason.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I enjoyed reading through it, and again, I completely agree. I just hope the fandom could realize he's a lovely character and that him being aroace is just a part of him like it is of us.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

LONG ASS MESSAGE UNDER CUT!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS A MASSIVE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!! I’ll tag everyone whose made a star for this drawing in the replies- if I’ve missed anyone or if you wanna be added, PLEASE LET KNOW!!!!!!!

At the time of writing this, there’s about 40 minutes let of 2023, and I’m VERY DETERMINED to get this posted before 2024 so I am in a bit of a rush so alas, this may not be as well-written as I’d like it to be but that’s the price I must pay alas HDNEHENEJDN

I wanna start this by saying I’ve always had a lot of anxieties surrounding the New Years, and things changing- even just seeing posts that were from the year prior always seems to give me anxiety. Things change, people move on, while I stay with the same interests- it’s always been something I’ve struggled with, but making this has helped me come to terms with all of that and I’m glad.

Theres no better words I can say right now other than; Thank You. Thank you so, so, SO much to my friends, both new and old- my friends who’ve been here since the very beginning and have stuck by me through this whole rollercoaster- and to all of my new friends, who it sometimes feels like I’ve known you all for at LEAST five years and not like, five months or something HDBWHNWUDNDHDJS thank you to everyone who has ever been kind to me, supported me and enjoyed what I’ve created- I’ve recieved probably the kindest words I’ve ever heard in my entire life this year. Thank you to the people who stuck by me when times got tough and helped me through my own seemingly very insignificant or silly problems HDNEJENSK

This year has easily been one of the best years of my life. 2022, to keep it short, was awful- I came out as a Transgender gay man to my parents and it went awful. I was dealing with the worst mental health of my entire life and there were times it felt like there was no hope. On top of all of that, my childhood dog passed away- so all and all, I wasn’t looking forward to the future. But my loving partner introduced me to Resident Evil, and as a result the community as a whole- and to say it changed my life would be an understatement.

I know it’s obviously no secret that I have a favourite character, Luis Serra Navarro- but to say his character has changed me as a person for the better would also be a MASSIVE understatement. I’ve never ever in my entire life resonated with a character so profoundly before- as a queer and trans man, I saw myself reflected in his performance, and that means more to me than words can even describe. His character encapsulated me in a way no other has done before, and genuinely helped me accept my autism, my queerness and my trans identity as a good thing- I could write absolutely ESSAYS on his character and I have. I’ve consumed more Don Quixote media than I think I ever would have otherwise HDNEHENEJD and to say I’ve genuinely become a more confident and happier person because of his character would, again, be SUCH an understatement. It’s truly hard to describe how much he means to me, but I hope my words give a good idea.

For the first time in a very, very long time, I get to look forward to my future. I don’t see my Queerness or my Trans identity as a setback anymore; I have things to look forward to, plans I’ve made and a future I can look towards. And I cannot thank my friends- all of you know who you are- André and Andrea and everyone in my life and this small little community I’ve unintentionally formed for giving me that opportunity. Words will never be able to describe how grateful I truly am, but I hope this is close enough.

Thank you for letting me fully indulge in my autism and enjoy Luis’ character to the fullest. I’ve never felt happier enjoying something in my entire life.

Thank you everyone. For everything. May you all successfully defeat your own windmills <3

[copperbadge]

Well, Still Salty.

I was cranky yesterday and I thought a good night's sleep would provide some adjustment in perspective, but unfortunately "spending yesterday not on tumblr" also offered perspective and got there first.

Up front: feel free to comment or reblog on this post (replies may be heavily delayed) but if you feel the urge to Like, I'm going to ask you to take one more step and go to https://www.tumblr.com/support, select "feedback" as the category, and enter a line or two about the new dash. It can be as simple as "Your new dash design is difficult to use and is driving people off the site". I'm not asking everyone to do it, but if you're going to Like this post, that would be a helpful action in addition. You can delete any response they send; no reason to expose yourself to the unique combination of incompetence and condescension with which they handle feedback generally.

Also up front: yeah, if I find somewhere else to go and go there, I will certainly let you guys know beforehand, I'm not going to just evaporate. I'll be broadcasting about Tumblr's replacement on Tumblr very heavily. But I can't deny that it is now an active goal of mine to find a viable replacement for this site. (More on this in a moment.) You will always be able to find me on AO3 as copperbadge, or via copperbadge@gmail.com. (More on this in a moment also.)

This kind of thing is why I refuse to fuck with staff now or ever; I don't trust them and I never will. Watching @wip respond to almost every complaint or suggestion with "but that would be really hard" is telling. Whoever is pushing blocks around at Tumblr wants a lucrative site that's easy to code, but lucrative is hostile to community and code is difficult by nature, and when the architecture of the meeting hall is hostile and cheap, people don't stick around.

I've been watching the site as every change made it incrementally worse, from a buggy post window that doesn't allow ease of editing to the new dash (which is the reason I'm writing this in a text window off Tumblr). I genuinely do not think I can use desktop Tumblr like this unless I can install something that will put it back the way it was, and roughly 40% of the content you guys get HAS to come through desktop. It's impossible to do on a phone or so time-consuming it's not worth it. I cannot code Radio Free Monday on a phone; it's a struggle to code it on a single-monitor laptop (I usually write it on my work computer, where I have two monitors). Even writing image IDs on the phone is difficult and something I rarely do. Tumblr is becoming an actively difficult place for me to make content, introducing friction left and right.

But where does one go? I've tried other platforms and they're either worse to use or they don't have the constituency. The problem with a lot of discourse around internet addiction is that it often points out how glued people are to their phones without asking what it is they're doing on those phones. I'm not addicted to social media; I don't doomscroll, I don't care what celebrities have to say, I don't find 140 characters useful or interesting, I don’t find most “funny” videos very interesting. I create a lot of original content for public consumption, significantly more than many social media users, and if that becomes difficult, then the site suffers more than I do. But it's undeniable that social media, and this social media in specific, is where my people are, and yeah, I like seeing you all every day. It makes it difficult to leave even when Tumblr is the best of a bad set of options.

It seems like a lot of the internet, lately, is the best of a bad set of options.

All that said, Tumblr forced a sudden, unwanted, and unchangeable reskin on me a day after I listened to a two-hour podcast about addiction while working on building a newsletter system for my author site. I spent the evening before this happened in contemplation of my relationship to social media and to my readership and how I might alter it to my benefit regardless of whether that's also to Tumblr's detriment. Their poor timing, I suppose. A lot of the theories advanced on the podcast were, to put it kindly, bunk, but one of the suggestions for people questioning their relationship to an activity was a dopamine fast -- removing something in your life that gives you quick but unsustained dopamine hits, so that you can take some time to level out and examine your behaviors. On the one hand, that's not at all how dopamine works; from the jump it's a bad theory. But on the other, pulling back from something you think may be causing you difficulty is generally speaking a good tactic.

Removing myself from Tumblr yesterday was an active process: because I have ADHD and often will forget something exists if I don't systematize my engagement with it, Tumblr is normally pinned to my browser, with the app on my phone's top screen. Removing the app and closing the window meant that while I occasionally reached for Tumblr, it was less frequently than I expected, and the lack of access reminded me why I wasn't there. I missed you guys, but I didn't miss getting distracted from work by my dash, or the pressure to respond to the volume of communication I receive through the site daily. I don't think my use of tumblr as my sole social media has been unhealthy, per se, but certainly yesterday felt both quieter and calmer after I walked away.

But that's a temporary relief, because you are my community, and not only do I not want to leave my community, it's a resource for me. One of the reasons I do things like Radio Free Monday and the weekly Hug on Saturdays is that I try to make sure that resource is reciprocal. Leadership involves service. Leaving would be easy in the short term, but in the long term, leaving my community without having another place to meet it, or another community to go to, would be harmful to both of us. I'm already someone who isolates, and while I have a strong brickspace circle of friends, they fulfill sometimes different needs.

Though I do appreciate the wild vote of confidence from the comments to my last post telling me people would come with me where I went. That means a lot to me. I will attempt to make it either unnecessary or as painless as possible. Just know, I see your faith and friendship and I appreciate it.

Sometimes at my old job I'd be in very tumultuous meetings where a lot was discussed and not much agreed on, and the most useful thing to me was always to say, "What are our next steps? What would you like me to do because of this meeting?" So what are next steps, all this being the case?

First, I'm going to be off Tumblr, mostly, for another couple of days, because clearly I need the break and a few days won't matter too much. Again, I will be back either to continue on the site or to let you guys know, at length and volume, where I'm headed. The former is much more likely.

Second, I'm going to be actively looking for both a widget I can install to reset the dash (recommendations welcome, I currently don't even use xkit) and a wholly new platform that's a realistically viable alternative. Even if the dash gets reset, the shitty post editor is here for good. Attempts to source alternative platforms in the past have taught me that it needs to have a mobile-friendly site or an app, a similar structure to tumblr, and a reasonable chance of actually attracting users. That's a heavy venn diagram unlikely to be fulfilled anytime soon, but I'm now invested in finding it, instead of just passively waiting for it to happen to me (as Tumblr did when it pulled me off LJ).

Third, I do have an email newsletter in the works! I'm just wrestling currently with setting up how people sign up for it. This wasn't meant to be "my main broadcast platform"; it's meant to be a once-monthly email to share book news, targeted at people who aren't on socials or who just really love content from me, I guess. :D The plan was for me to assure Tumblr users that it was not extra content, just select content repackaged into a digest. But it will be one way to ensure that if I'm moving around outside of Tumblr, you'll know about it. I hope to have a link to a signup page soon. (I'm....dealing with some code issues.)

Fourth, I'm going to be combing through the last ten years I've spent here and pulling anything I think is of value into an archive. For now everything will remain here as well, and I'll let you guys know if I think that's going to change, but it's clear that this space is moving only one direction, towards a place I can't exist, and when/if it crumbles I want to have already evacuated what's important.

So there you go. I'll possibly be posting sporadically (the Saturday Hugs are queued six months in advance so that'll happen) but if nothing else and if not sooner, I'll be back full-time next week starting with Radio Free Monday. I appreciate your patience and your kindness in the meantime!

[littlemisstfc]

What Transformers Earthspark Teaches About Abuse:

TW: I will be discussing the topic of abuse, specifically how abuse is treated in Transformers media. If you’re sensitive to this topic, I highly encourage you to skip out on this post. Take care of yourself and stay safe. 

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233

National Hotlines: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

Hello, Hola, こんにちは。

Welcome back to this side of the Hundred Acre Woods, and we’re back back back again with another Transformers writing. I was just randomly hanging out in my college’s LGBTQ+ space, eating my Hot Cheetos and enjoying the H2O in my Hello Kitty hydro, when I began to have thoughts about Earthspark again. If you know me by now, you know that I adore Transformers Earthspark. Easy 9/10, among the top five best Transformers shows if all well goes according to plan. Like Cyberverse, it aims to subvert the Transformers formula through putting a fresh new coat of paint onto various Transformers tropes as well as bringing new and interesting characters and concepts to the table. When it comes to the former aspect of Earthspark, there is one trope that is not only brilliantly deconstructed, but is also treated with the respect and grace it should have from the beginning. As to what this trope is, let’s start with everyone’s favorite evil twink girlfailure: Starscream.

So…

The 21st century has not been kind to our skrunkly king. Sure, from the beginning, he is designed to be the ultimate girlfailure of Transformers. He’s cunning and sneaky, but his plans go easily astray because of his arrogance and ego getting in the way. It also doesn’t help that he’s often Megatron’s favorite punching bag whenever his plans to overthrow him go wrong. It’s a pure hate filled relationship that is dark comedy galore…if you approach it with the right angle. Part of the reason why TFA Starscream’s hate relationship with Megatron works is that Starscream doesn’t take Megatron’s crap at all. He will fight back, and it feels right whenever he has the upper hand over ol buckethead. Sure, their relationship is quite odd when you think about it. However, their dynamic is compelling as well as being like I said, dark comedy galore.

Then, Transformers Prime came in and proceeded to make it all so horribly wrong. Like I mentioned in my TFP essay, TFP Starscream deserves so much fucking better. Megatron’s treatment of him is just downright despicable. True, Screamer ain’t no saint and he only has himself to blame for his flaws and behavior. But…I’m sorry, the way Megatron speaks to him and how he gets so physically aggressive towards him is neither funny nor justified. It’s uncomfortable to see him reduce Starscream to a whimpering and fearful mess whenever the latter fucks up royally. Is this really what the showrunners think is good for the audience at home? Even if you see nothing wrong with it, you cannot deny how depressing it feels whenever Starscream and Megatron are on screen together. By having Screamer be the countless target of abuse throughout the show, it only made me want to help him leave the Decepticons for good.

It also doesn’t help that in RID 2015, Starscream’s vendetta against Megatron is portrayed in a negative light. Nah, fuck this shit. HE DOESN’T OWE FUCKING SHIT TO MEGATRON. He has every right to feel angry and hurt at how Megatron treated him throughout Transformers Prime. Hell, this is why I hate Megatron’s redemption arc in Predacons Rising so fucking much. He was never held accountable for how he treated his second in command, and for that, I only wish the uttermost hell for him. Fuck TFP Megatron. Fucking shark douchebag. 

Same for Transformers Cyberverse. Like I love you, queen, but how Starscream is treated in that show ain’t it. I’ve talked about this aspect in depth in my Cyberverse retrospective video, so feel free to check that out here. 

In a nutshell, there’s an uncomfortable trend of Transformers shows that straight up treats Megatron’s treatment of Starscream with only a slap on the wrist. Like, how does any normal person find any of this acceptable? Just…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

However…then, something miraculous happened in Earthspark. Something that manages to deconstruct this trope on its head by straight up telling the audience: “Nah, we’re not gonna do that treating Megatron abusing Starscream as a joke bullshit. We’re gonna be 100% honest with y’all.”

For context, Transformers Earthspark takes place after the Great War is over. Megatron became a good guy again and Transformers on Earth is a part of everyday life. However, for the Decepticons, many feel very salty about Megatron turning good and becoming mischievous gremlins. This resulted in G.H.O.S.T. imprisoning them in cells, including Starscream. Eventually, in the episode, “What Dwells Within,” Starscream and the Seeker lesbians broke out of prison and went on the run in some catacombs. The Malto kids also got trapped in here, and they had to teamup to escape the caves and a vore monster. When Starscream is being Starscream while trying to escape the vore monster, Twitch and Thrash bring up his flaws and believe that he should go back to Megatron, since they spend time with old buckethead and see him as the changed man we see here. However…then this bombshell drops:

Twitch: “Yeah, you should go back to following Megatron. He wouldn't leave anyone behind like that!" Starscream: “Oh, naïve child. Is locking Decepticons in prison while he walks free not "leaving us behind"? You don't know the real Megatron, the ruthless tyrant who ruled over us with fear and intimidation."

Me:

While the others were distracted by the monster’s growls, we see Hashtag’s expression. Just, the way her entire perspective has changed when Starscream brought up the man Megatron used to be. Mmmmm, LAYERS. A few more monster shenanigans happen and the two of them get stuck together in the control hub. Up to this point, we see how much Megatron’s treatment of him has affected Starscream deeply. Even after being technically free of him…he still remembers that awful time in his life. It also doesn’t help that he is The Starscream, the skrunkly backstabbing mean girl whose entire life goal is to be the leader of the Decepticons. He was never taken seriously and the universe determines that he will not succeed. I highly recommend Comodin Cam’s video on the topic about this if you wanna get into the details. Bottom line is that Starscream doesn’t have the best luck in being himself.

Back to the control hub, it seems like there was gonna be a discussion of Starscream being Starscream. However, to Starscream’s surprise, Hashtag believes him. When she called him out for trying to save his own skin while everyone else is gonna die because of the vore monster, she asks him this question:

“When bad things happen, it isn’t always our fault.”

Since July, I’ve struggled to convey my thoughts about this moment in the episode, especially as someone who has been in Starscream’s place at one point in my life. In Hashtag believing him and being ready to listen to him had the monster not acted a fool, Starscream’s pain and trauma has been validated. For the first in his life, he’s not treated as a joke. Someone realized that he was a victim of abuse and recognizes his feelings, not talking down to him nor trying to argue against it. Hashtag is a young child, but even she recognizes that what Megatron did to Starscream is not okay at all. This resulted in her gaining his trust and loyalty and she even told off Megatron when the latter and Starscream were ready to duke it out. Eventually, the day is saved and both Screamer and the Seeker girlies venture off into the unknown. But before that, he rejected Megatron’s offer of safety and yeah…after a long time of being Megatron’s chew toy, he doesn’t owe shit to Megatron. He has every right to not trust him again, and even though we saw Megatron changing for the better in Earthspark, he has indeed hurt a lot of people. 

Honestly, the bond Hashtag formed with Starscream and how the episode treated Starscream’s trauma with the grace and respect it deserves is a great lesson for kids to learn when it comes to helping out a friend who is in Starscream’s shoes. Hell, it could even teach kids to recognize the signs of abuse in their own homes and seek out the help they need. That’s what I love about Transformers shows like Earthspark: it recognizes that the audience is smart enough to pick up on the clues and details as well as entertaining them.

Transformers Earthspark aims to fix what shows like Transformers Prime has started, and it’s only fitting to have Steve Blum as Starscream here, as if its own way of saying, “We know, folks. Starscream deserves better.”

Conclusion: It's never the victim's fault.

If anything, Earthspark manages to excel in ways that many Transformers shows wishes they can do, especially those in the 2010s. It treats Starscream’s trauma from being The Starscream with the gravity and care it needs, and I appreciate it all the more as time goes on. I highly recommend that y’all watch this show. It has a complex story, likable and enduring characters, great animation, and it breathes new life in Transformers. Most importantly of all, it gave Starscream the justice he deserves, and I hope it stays that way with this incredible show.

[elisysd]

3. Wonder why you took a risk on a broken heart you cannot fix

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Purple Irises - Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton 

Another DNF. On a track he loved and had witnessed him achieving great performances. But now, being out after not even a corner, it was painful. He knew he couldn’t have done anything to avoid it but still, it was a bitter feeling. And a feeling that didn’t go away when he saw you waiting for him, your mic ready. He hadn’t talked to you ever since that day at the restaurant, didn’t ask for your number, didn’t ask for your social media, didn’t ask for anything and a part of him regretted it. Kind of. He had promised to show you not everyone was untrustworthy but didn’t even think to ask for a means to contact you. He knew it was stupid but he hated empty promises. He was man of his word and to think he could let you down like everybody else was unsettling for him. 

He moved to you, Silvia by his side and gulped, bracing himself for a petty question that surprisingly didn’t come through.

“A very sad day for you Charles, can you tell us what happened with Lance?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been able to watch the images yet but I guess he thought he had space and clearly, it was not the case.”

“Two DNF in three races, it’s not the start of the season you hoped it would be. What are your plans for now?”

“See what went wrong and try to learn from it with the team. That’s the best we can do and we will come back stronger next time.”

“Thank you Charles.”

As she was cutting her microphone he saw you looking at him.

“I’m sorry about the race. Truly.”

“No teasing this time?” he asked, surprised.

“I’m not a heartless monster.” you replied as Silvia pushed him to go talk to other media.

The meeting with her team went nice. They talked a bit about race, debriefing each other's interventions of the day and looked at what they should have done better. You were happy when Marion told you that you had improved, your questions sharper and more precise, and happy, you had decided to wander the paddock in search of new information or to meet interesting new people. That is something you’ve always liked to do, hanging out somewhere to get the atmosphere and to have conversations with people who could provide you with new enlightenments about contracts, performances or any changes inside the teams. You had learned it while being in New-York, during one of your internships while you were covering  basketball games where your boss had told you to let your ears wander. A few words that you were clinging onto. Near the Mercedes hospitality, you had not expected to run into Mick who was coming out of it, a bottle of water in his hands. Out of habits you smiled at him, giving him a little nod which he took as an invitation to talk to you.

“Hey! I saw you around, right? The new interviewer for French TV?”

“That should be me, yes. Y/N, nice to meet you.” you greet him.

You found it surprisingly easy to talk to Mick. The discussion flowed, laughter could be heard from the other side of the paddock and soon the sun was setting. He was friendly, caring, and offered her to sit somewhere so they didn’t have to stand in the middle of the way.

“You know, I’m going to a bowling place tonight with some friends. Do you want to tag along?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s very professional of me.” 

“No pressure, of course. The offer stands but we all need to let go from time to time.” he added, winking at you before leaving.

You spent another half an hour debating with yourself on whether or not you should go. You could use some friends for sure, and Mick is not a bad guy, you know it.  He doesn’t have any hidden agenda behind his kindness, he just genuinely wants to get to know you and be your friend. And you saw how some journalists are buddy-buddy with the drivers, including in your own team. So why couldn’t you? You took a deep breath and decided that for once, you would have fun. And it had been a while since you had gone to a bowling area. You quickly went back to your hotel room to change into more comfortable clothes and you met Mick there. You recognised Esteban there as well and you were not surprised, you knew the two drivers were closed. 

You had fun. More fun than what you expected coming here. You sucked at bowling but it didn’t stop you from laughing. You also enjoyed Esteban’s calm confidence and how laid back he was. You told him you felt sorry about his crash with Pierre, Alpine could have realized something amazing out there.

“I know, I’m gutted. It’s not the start of the season we hoped it would be, for sure. But the season is long, so we have time to improve.”

“I’m sure it will keep on being better, Esteban. Trust your team.” Mick said, coming to them, a grin on his face. He sat down next to you before turning his head in your direction. “I’m glad you decided to come. I wasn’t sure you would.”

“I’m happy I did, it’s been a while since I’ve felt this relaxed.” you confessed. “I don’t have many friends, I’m not good at making connections.”

“Well you have us, now.” Mick shrugged.

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll betray you?”

“Do you intend to?”

“No.” you admitted after a few seconds.

“Then it’s all good.” he smiled.

“You trust people easily, you know. A little too easily.”

“A few years ago, I wasn’t like that. I was doubting everyone and everything. I thought people only wanted to be around me because of my dad and not because of me. And then I decided to stop caring because usually those people end up leaving at the first obstacle. It’s better to give people a chance than being closed off. My friends are basically my second family, my home away from home. I’m a family guy, it’s tough for me to be away from them, so that’s why my friends are so important.”

“I’m not that close to my family.” you confessed and your heart wrenched at the thought.

“Because of your job?”

“That and I made a few mistakes in the past that really altered our relationship. And a lot of regrets, mostly about my brother. When you’re halfway across the world, it’s tough to be there when he needs you most. I should have been there for him.”

“It’s never too late to fix things.”

You gave him a sad smile and a shrug. You don’t want to bother him with your complicated family’s stories. And frankly, you don’t want to think about them.

“I understand you know, the regrets. I have so many when I think about my dad. I’ve never told him I loved him enough,  I should have told him everyday. I even regret things that are so far ahead in the future, like my wedding, my first kid… I often think about how he won’t be completely there to see all of that.” he bitterly said. 

“At least he is there. Even if it’s not how you want it.”

“I guess.”

When you ended up leaving, after this very heartfelt conversation, you felt somehow relieved. Maybe he was right, you didn’t have to assume the worst about people. You took your phone out of your pocket and looked at your lock screen. A picture of you and your brother. You smiled tenderly, you missed him. 

Coming back to Paris and to your flat felt weird after such magical weeks. The gloomy weather made you regret the sun on your skin and you definitely didn’t miss the messy public transportation. Your days were filled with preparing the next races, organizing a few livestreams here and there where you invited fans to talk about the first few races of the season. And thanks to your connection at Alpine and the good relationship you had started to build with the drivers you even managed to get an interview from Pierre where you get to talk about his first weeks in his new team. It had been a nice and chill discussion more than an interview and you were happy to see that people had liked the concept and hoped you would keep it going with other people.

Despite how happy you were feeling about your week, it had still been a busy one and you couldn’t wait to go home and hop in your shower to relax before going out again to meet your best friend in a nice parisian restaurant. You arrived earlier than her and got to your table as the waiter gave you the menu and asked if you wanted to drink something. You ordered a Martini and started to wait for her, scrolling on your phone to pass the time. But as if fate had decided to play with you tonight, right when you decided to lift your chin, you saw him entering the restaurant. Charles Leclerc. And in good company if you could judge by the brunette walking right behind him. A date you thought to yourself. You unconsciously sat further down in your seat in hope he wouldn’t recognise you. You couldn’t help but give him little glances, your curiosity getting the best out of you. It didn’t last long, though, as your friend soon arrived and Charles wasn’t in your mind anymore.

“You have so many things to tell me and I have so many questions for you!”

You laughed. She has always been your number one supporter no matter what you were going through in your life. You didn’t expect anything else from her. Happily, you told her everything, even the slightest detail.

“So, who is the hottest? And is there anyone who is single?” she whispered to you as if you were both part of a gigantic conspiracy.

“I don’t know, I don’t really think about it. And I don’t have the mental space for that.”

She knew what you were implying. She knew all too well. She put a hand on yours and squeezed it gently before diverting the discussion to a lighter topic. The conversation flowed until your friend received a call. She quickly apologized to take it in a quieter space and came back a few minutes later, biting her lip, visibly worried.

“I got a call from my mom… my grandmother fell at home and she hit her head. She is at the hospital… I’m sorry I have to cut our dinner short, but…”

“Dont. I understand. Go.” you reassured her as she threw her arms around you and kissed your cheek before making her way out.

He was fed up. Clearly, he was not having the time of his life. The girl right in front of him had been sent by Ferrari and Silvia in another attempt to set him up with someone. No pressure, she had told him, she just wanted him to meet her and who knows? Maybe they would hit it off. And if it wasn’t the case, then she would leave him alone. For now. So he had agreed, a few weeks of peace seemed like a good option.

But he was bored out of his mind. The girl, who seemed nice, he had nothing against her, was agreeing to everything he was saying and was waiting for him to hold the conversation. He hated that. He needed someone who could challenge him, someone who didn’t care about who he was and clearly the brunette in front of him wasn’t what he wanted. They weren’t even at the main course that she had already mentioned the growth of her following and the new opportunities being seen with him would bring her, if they decided to date. He hated it. And he didn’t intend to spend one more minute in her presence. When the waiter came to take their order, he looked him straight in the eyes.

“You know, come to think of it, I’m not hungry. Can I have the bill instead?”

He knew it was a dick move, and if his mother would hear of it she would most certainly give him an earful. But it would still be more enjoyable than sitting there. He apologized, quickly made sure that the girl knew he had no interest in going out with her another day and made his way out to pay. That’s when he noticed you, alone, sipping on your drink. He could laugh. Out of all places, he had to cross your path. As if acting on their own, his feet carried him to your table.

“Fancy, seeing you here.” he said, making you look up. He expected to see a surprised look on your face but it wasn’t the case. You didn’t take your eyes off of him, making him slightly uncomfortable. “What are you doing here, all alone? A date who hasn’t shown up?”

“I was supposed to meet my friend but she couldn’t stay for long, an emergency came up. So here I am, sipping my drink, alone. It’s okay. I’m enjoying my very own company. And that very tasteful assortment of pastries. I most likely won’t be able to eat that alone, though.” you shrugged, putting a piece of chocolate cake in your mouth.

“You know, I’m in a mood for sweet… care to share?”

You were about to offer him to sit with you when he quickly recalled that his date was still there.

“Actually, would you mind getting a doggy bag and going elsewhere to eat? I kind of want to get the hell out of here.”

“Your date wasn’t that good, I assume then.” you said as a matter of fact.

“How did you…”

“I have eyes. I saw you.”

“You saw me…” he repeated, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I was facing the door.”

And suddenly he felt stupid about trying to see a deeper meaning in her words than what she intended to.

Out of the restaurant, they both wandered along the docks, enjoying the fresh air and the almost empty streets, the bag of cakes between them as they were sharing in a natural way. Almost as if they had done it all their life. Charles told her all about his very bad date and enjoyed making her laugh.

“Glad to see my very poor and inexistent love life is entertaining.” he smiled.

“It really is. I mean, look at you. You have the fame, the money, the good looks you could have anyone you wanted and here you are, having the exact same issues as us common people.”

“Believe it or not, but dating has become harder and harder the more famous I become. Whatever that means. We are all searching for the same thing, at the end of the day and famous or not. We want someone to complete us. Someone we feel good with.”

“Yeah, it’s not easy to find.”

“Clearly not.”

They kept walking in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“I’m shocked you don’t try to pry or snoop around. You could ask so many questions about the season and try to get insides… but you don’t. Why?”

“I’m outside of my job hours. Right now, I’m just Y/N and not Y/N the very insufferable journalist. And you hate my questions, it’s me who should be shocked that you want to hear them.”

“I don’t hate them, I just don’t understand why I seem to be the only one to be on the receiving end of your bluntness. Every freaking time.” he defended himself.

You let out a sigh.

“They are legitimate questions and they are always validated by the team before being asked, if something was out of line they would tell me and I wouldn’t ask them.” you simply said.

Charles felt that there must be something else, something she wasn’t saying but they didn’t know each other well enough for him to dare ask her. From the corner of his eye, he saw her repressing a yawn.

“It’s late, do you need someone to drive you back home safely?” he asked.

“No.” she immediately said. “I mean, it’s kind of you, really. This whole hour talking felt nice but I’m not sure it’s something that should have happened. I know I can make friends with drivers, and some journalists do it, but I don't think I can, personally. That’s just not how it works for me. It would make my job harder and I need a clear mind to focus.” you tried to explain, perfectly aware of how hypocritical you sound.

“Do you say the same things to all drivers or do I receive special treatment?”

You opened and closed your mouth. You didn’t want to lie to him and somehow he read it in your eyes that it’s not that you didn’t want to have friends among the drivers. You just didn’t want to be his friend. And somehow it hurt more than what he expected.

Author's note: Happy first GP of the season! To celebrate it, here's the new chapter! I hope you liked it.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism

[snifflesthemouse]

Is Harry Suing the UK to Hide Truth of Visa and Security?

Let’s talk about a few things going on in the Royal News World, Shall We?

This mouse isn’t completely sure of coming back entirely, but I figured a post here and there would be fine. Let’s get started.

My people come bearing some insights: Just about everyone in the aristocracy is openly aware that Harry isn’t truly cut off. As a matter of fact, some believe that Harry is only in the US because Charles sent him here and he is in fact on an A1 visa. Not so much as a banishment, but as a way to play both sides of the media circus and keep them all relevant. The whole world tunes in every time something pops up.

What brings more clickbait? Ask yourself the hard questions, though, don’t take the easy route. I’ve seen some things going around, and I see people truly never ask the hard questions.

I pray for the day when everyone wakes up and realizes that being elderly doesn’t make you harmless or innocent. This author was told the same things about Harry not being told about the diagnosis for the cancer until we all heard, BUT BEFORE. Interesting that ever got leaked out in the press, isn’t it? Why even tell us when he got told? Harry probably leaked it and did it to make Charles look favorable. Do you think Charles would let it get leaked? To what end? To look like the loving, yet firm father everyone demands him to be, the man that he cannot. The man he is not.

And now there are articles coming out about the contingency plans for Charles being sick. Harry is not in them, at all. Why would he need to be? Doesn’t that say a lot? The fact people have to be told Harry isn't included is silly. But you know what they say about assumptions.

Now, I was told by a friend that’s a doctor the whole story of the cancer being found during the prostate stuff made no sense. They would’ve seen other indicators beforehand. They ARE the greatest medical professionals on the planet, aren’t they? You mean a PET scan or blood test or anything like that, at all, wouldn’t hint at the other problems? This was a choreographed release of information.

It's being suggested that the press will be informed to release a cascade of tidbits over the coming weeks. Lady C said early spring, before summer. She also said it was Princess Anne who made the “racist baby” comments, and that was also a ruse. I’m pretty sure Lady C picked Team Charles back in the 80s, and she’s been working to gain grace and favor since. I think she wants to seem like she knows things to sell books or views. Go, girl, get that paper.

Speaking of paper, it was suggested one of the main reasons Charles was so upset with Harry when he “rushed right over” was because he asked for more money. Anyone could assume that but think about what he did immediately afterwards. He went over there only to have something to give an interview for. He got paid to “not squeal” on an interview. The Sussexes don’t lift a finger for free… they only lift them for freebies. Or money.

If Harry is here on an A1 Visa as a favor between Charles and the US, that means we are paying for that security in America. No wonder Harry is suing the UK, he needs to make it look like he needs something when he already has it. How would they possibly have the money to pay for their own? I posted the mortgage documents, remember. Do the math. They have 10 years to pay that house off in full before they get a 7.48% interest rate. They have upkeep, services, servants, nannies, clothes, utilities, maintenance that must be maintained or the bank could come in and do it themselves… Those things aren’t cheap. You have to have a faucet of money coming in to handle it all. They don’t even have a drip.

Oh, and I was told to really look at Harry’s page on the Royal website. And that the minute Wills gets that crown, his brother will be done for. Which is why Charles could be trying to be a father instead of a king in that situation. Then again, if Wills had hard feelings for both Charles and Harry, and Charles had a jealousy over Wills and the Queen… that’s a lot of ifs

One this is for sure. Harry will NEVER return to the BRF in a working capacity. Everything is a dance of smoke and mirrors.

It makes total sense to have Harry here on an A1 visa, have him in constant litigation with the UK so we peons think he needs security, but in reality he is here on a visa supplying him the protection he thinks he deserves. Of course, an FOIA would need to be filed, probably… I wonder if I could do that and see how he is really here. I don’t believe he is here on an O1 or spousal visa.

What is the real reason for all of this, people? It's just Flying Pasta, like before.

[onyourowndaisymae]

would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons

explanations + hcs below the cut:

content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)

post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan

you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents

the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways

mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that

satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.

mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi

asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts

simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off

luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.

speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.

mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto

belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.

lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.

diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.

mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.

not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael

beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.

something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.

blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon

i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit

[houseofbrat]

As someone who works in PR I am ASTONISHED at how bad Kensington Palace is at all of this. It’s the most interesting part of the whole thing for me. Well that, and how much it seemingly vindicates H&M and Harry in particular in what he’s said about the firm and the media’s role in protecting the Heir at all costs.

Yeah I work in PR for a public company and anytime we want to put something out we have to run it up the chain - we need legal and Investor relations and executive approvals.

Even if KP and BP had their individual PR teams, which makes sense, there should still be one main central PR office that everyone answers to that manages the entire royal families PR, makes sure schedules and press opportunities and STRATEGY AND MESSAGING all aligns, before running up the chain for final approvals. There’d be a social team and a crisis team and government relations team and a branding team and a general “talent rep” kind of team, all working in tandem to serve the overall strategy for the royal family.

The fact that there are so many cooks in so many different kitchens is why the royal family has had so many PR disasters honestly for decades now. They’re truly doing it all wrong. So many Worst Practices here, not Best Practices.

It really doesn't seem like there is an overall PR team. Just the separate entities

Yeah and that’s the problem IMO. They are a business that should be run like a business. They should have the individual departments I suggested, and even more, working in tandem.

The fact that there are so many separate entities with different agendas and priorities is a huge part of their problem IMO.

But Charles has been transparent for the most part!! And photographed repeatedly. It’s so bizarre when compared to KP, and feels passive aggressive to me to be honest lolol.

They’re really so so so bad at this 😭😭😭😭 but the British public and the media lets them get away with it 🙃🙃🙃

For heaven’s sake. If she’s recovering nicely, why resort to recycling old photos?

Other sources are making a pretty good case for the fact that it’s a November photo, taken after Catherine and the children visited the baby bank.

Does nobody, and I mean nobody, know how to do PR in that place anymore? Now it's pin all of this on just-recovering-from-abdominal-surgery Kate? Why not on William since they were so proud about how he was the one that took the photo? Somehow they keep making everything ten times worse.

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for a second that Kate personally edited that photo together in such a way that it had to be killed as inauthentic. The pulling of the photo is likely more about the refusal to provide metadata or the raw image for proof rather than silly Photoshop choices. That isn’t an issue of “mummy going wild on the computer,” it’s a larger organizational issue about trust, transparency, and KP’s overall poor approach to news orgs and the press lately.

Why is Kate taking the fall? Why is William such a lout to let an ill Kate put this on her own shoulders rather than admit KP made an error or say KP is going to reevaluate their practices and make a change?

Are college interns running Palace p.r.? Because I cannot understand how they're botching this so badly. If Kate couldn't/wouldn't pose for a legit photo, then just don't release anything. The Royals are basically dumping tankers of gas on the inferno by playing all these games. 

Sorry, am I going insane? After saying they wouldn’t respond to these conspiracy theories, they

a) responded by putting out a doctored image,

b) responded to the backlash of doctored image by claiming the woman recovering from a medical issue was playing around in Photoshop, and

c) responded to the backlash of editing claims by putting out an image where the person in the photo is supposed to be Kate but could LITERALLY BE ANYBODY.

NONE OF YOU ARE FINDING THIS WEIRD? NONE?!

"Kate's Back"

Well, it is indeed a picture of Kate's back

Apparently the main symptom of her mysterious medical condition is that any photo with her in it immediately becomes grainy, blurry, or with people's wrists trying to escape into a fifth dimension.

Good Lord, I haven't followed a disaster story this closely since Oceangate Titan and this one may be even worse. The narrative is out of control and the rules have gone out the window.

They already lost control of the narrative at this point. No matter what they do now, they will be scrutinized more than they've ever been before. And they seem grossly unprepared for it.

She’s not even facing camera, how is this supposed to help? This just feeds the conspiracy theorists! headdesk

It's becoming a PR nightmare that only Olivia Pope can rescue.

Maybe the better question is that people are concerned about Kate's welfare, and most WERE okay with waiting under the timeline KP initially offered that is she will likely return by or after Easter.

However KP has mismanaged the messaging, and with that concern grows over how weird some of the updates are. The article explains why this medical time out is turning into an absolute PR crisis. It isn't so much about Kates right to medical privacy (she definitely deserves that )

It now is about institutional reliability, the heir William's arguably erratic or unusual behavior or his courtiers' comments, the mess with the all kill photoshopped/Frankensteined photo (which has never happened before with a palace released photo), the very different approaches from BP vs KP, etc etc. It's become bigger than Kate sad to say.

And ultimately now people are worried for her, in a way they wouldn't have been, because things have become so irregular and bungled. So the urgency to make sure she is safe and okay has become louder and more insistent.

“CNN is now reviewing all handout photos previously provided by Kensington Palace.”

“In editorial photography, photojournalists and editors commonly adjust a photograph’s exposure or color balance in order to more accurately reflect the scene. Most news organizations, including CNN, regard it as unacceptable to move, change or manipulate the pixels of an image. To do so would alter the reality of the situation the image is intended to document.”

“In the past, the family’s amateur photographs have been well received when posted on social media. But on this occasion, this photo was also released to media organizations as a handout and the palace wasn’t transparent about the fact it had been adjusted.

That will have damaged the trust between the palace and media organizations – many of which, like CNN, will likely be assessing all royal handouts. The editing storm has undermined the existing relationship and when public interest over any possible cover up escalates, as it has done recently, many news outlets will now have take that speculation more seriously.”

[lyralit]

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

k.

[dora-papp]

I think I get it now, I know why I needed to come back to Tumblr and why like this - in English. The anti-LGBT child protection law made June and July so stressful that no matter how ready I was for the fight, it drained me completely. Turns out if you open your mouth and tell your story, suddenly the media and newspapers are interested, and they are interested ALL at the same time, which left me surviving on a lot of coffee and only a few hours of sleep for a number of days. I know, I know - I should be grateful. I am. But when your story ends up on national TV and you happen to live in a country where no matter how loud you are, you simply cannot change things - it gives you nightmares after a while.

So since then I've had to deal with the fact that my young adult books can get wrapped in plastic in bookstores anytime and be placed on the 18+ shelves. Fine. In the meantime, I finished a manuscript. At the end of July, I had to say goodbye to the idea that it was going to be published. Gut punch. Fine. At this point I was like… you know what? I need a holiday. Let's go to Budapest for a long weekend to celebrate Budapest Pride. So I did just that. Amazing afternoon, shitty night. Another gut punch. Couldn't get any sleep in the hotel, escaped reality in the morning, took the first bus home.

By that time I was so down I completely forgot that Good Omens Season 2 was happening. So I watched it. And believe you me, we GO fans like to say that the ending broke us, but for me S2 - yes, the ending too - fixed me and saved me. I fell in love with David Tennant's creative energies, I watched Doctor Who and a bunch of other stuff, interviews, plays that continued to fix me. I got an idea for a new book. Started writing it in November. And now I'm back on Tumblr, because I needed my safe space and for me that's two things: 1, being an unhinged fangirl without anyone stopping me and 2, expressing myself in English. This language has been my great love since I was 12. After I became a published novelist in Hungary, I ditched online communication in English - I needed to connect with my Hungarian readers. UNTIL NOW.

The child protection law did it for me. I'm not saying I'm fed up with my home country, that'd be a stretch, I'm just… I NEED MORE. I want to reach out and connect again in English. I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I need to see a freaking rainbow. I need compassion. I need to feel seen. I need to know that something good is out there, that something better is coming. I need to be around peeps who understand me.

I needed to come back to Tumblr. And I love it here. Thank you, darlings.

[lacefuneral]

ok i've seen some posts about the tumblr alternative cohost but none that were actually helpful so!

(disclaimer: i am very new to this website. users who have been there longer can and should chime in with additions and/or corrections)

Cohost Introduction Post

What is cohost?

Cohost is a fledgling website that is essentially a tumblr clone, but with its own culture and site-specific features. It is also very much a work in progress. You are encouraged to talk in the cohost forum to suggest changes for devs, report bugs, and upvote other people's suggestions. This website WILL grow and change over time. And as such, I do not know if/when the information I share here will be outdated. Edit: To answer an ask I received, anyone can join cohost without an invite. It used to be invite-only. It is not this way anymore.

Is "adult content" allowed there?

Yes. Cohost is not on the app store, meaning that it is not subject to Apple's specifications. You can post illustrations, writing, and photographs (cohost does not support any video formats at this time, just gifs). Cohost has an elaborate filtering and trigger warning system (moreso than tumblr), and you can disable adult content for your entire account or for individual tags. I actually don't engage with the adult content at all on there. Visual CSEM (both real and fictional) is specifically forbidden (although frankly I think the guidelines could be stricter wrt written content. Still, does seem to handle this better than AO3 does, going as far to say that written content about real minors is forbidden.)

How are minors protected?

The minimum age to join cohost is 16, and requires proof of parental permission to join. Users who are under 18 are automatically age-gated and cannot view adult content.

If cohost isn't on the app store, how is it used?

You can, of course, use cohost on a computer, but it is designed with mobile in mind. Opening the website on any IOS browser, clicking "share", and then "add to home screen" will install an app for you to use. The same can be done on an android. There is a guide here.

How does cohost work?

First, you create an account. Then you wait for approximately two days (read: weekdays) for the account to be activated. This is done to prevent spam bots. In the meantime, edit your profile. List some interests, your pronouns, your other social media links. Give yourself an icon. Note: icon and banner file sizes are small. You may need to shrink and compress images.

After the two days are up, make your first post! Write a basic introduction (with what you feel comfortable you feel sharing) and list some interests you like, maybe some hobbies, media, etc. And then tag this post with "#welcome to cohost". This will let existing members know that someone new has joined, and they may initiate conversation and/or follow you.

Next, go to the search and type in "The Cohost Global Feed" and click on the tag. Bookmark this tag. This is essentially one giant community space where you can find random users. (There is currently some discourse on the website as to whether this tag existing is a "bad thing" or not because "cohost isn't supposed to have a global tag". Just ignore that lol). Next, go back to search and type in things you like. TV shows, maybe. Video games. Music. Anything. See if people have posted in the tags. Follow them. Comment on their stuff. Click "like" to bookmark the post if you want to.

Most crucially, make sure that you bookmark the actual tag so you can look in that tag again later without having to manually type it each and every time. Also, you get a feed called "bookmarked tags" which allows you to scroll through all of them at once, which replaces the "for you" feature other websites have.

You can "share" a post (called "rebug" in user slang) which serves the same purpose as a reblog on tumblr. In a rebug, you can add your own tags or comment in the body of the post. Cohost users do not talk in tags as much as tumblr users - they tend to prefer to speak in the body of a rebug, or in the comment section (replies). At this time, you cannot view all reblogs. But you can view all comments in the comment section. Any post that is rebugged will preserve the tags of the OP, with any additional tags added being attributed to you. Rebugs are named after the website mascot Eggbug, a purple bee-like insect.

Posts are called "chosts" - and shitposting is called "shitchosting." Two examples of global shitposting tags are "#css crimes" - which is when a person does goofy things with the HTML/CSS editor to make colorful text, fake chat windows, and such - and "#shitchosting" which is a general shitposting tag. I've also seen people use tags like "#random".

If a post makes you laugh, check out the OP's profile. See if they post frequently, and if you have any common interests. If you realize you want to block or mute someone instead, you can.

You can send asks just like on tumblr, but your inbox must be manually opened first. So remember to do that.

How do I look at my own blog?

This is one of my gripes about the UI. You would think, intuitively, you would click here (at the top of the screen). But you would be wrong!

It is ACTUALLY under the sidebar menu, called "Profile." And I'm not the only one to to complain about this. (To get back to your dashboard, by the way, you click on the cohost logo.)

Are there sideblogs?

Yes! Each sidepage (sideblog) has its OWN set of likes AND followed pages (blogs). This allows you to easily switch between multiple sets of dashboards. A lot of users use this to have a SFW dashboard and an adult content dashboard. But it works like tumblr, too. You can have a side page/dashboard for whatever you'd like. Maybe one of your pages is for programming. Maybe another is for photography. You switch between your pages by clicking the arrow next to your icon/username at the top of the screen. ("Ohhhhh.... THAT'S what that's for.")

What's the userbase on there like?

Mostly programmers. Trans people. Furry artists. Plural systems. Furry trans plural programmers. Certainly a lot of shitposters. The website is trans-run and, as such, has zero tolerance for TERFs. Everyone seems pretty friendly from what I can tell. And there's very much a culture of "follow someone randomly based on their vibes" that doesn't happen as much on tumblr. Tumblr is more like "I really like this TV show, I'm going to follow 40 blogs about just this interest." Because the cohost community is so much smaller, there is a lot less content overall, especially fandom content. You can't follow 40 fandom pages because your fandom tag has a total of 3 posts, all made by one person approximately a year ago (well. for me anyway).

Cohost, then, actually has much more in common with real-life socialization. You seek out people with interests that may be very different from your own, and to find a common interest is very exciting! Unlike tumblr, you are encouraged to tag as much as possible. This allows your posts to be seen, to find common interests. And, of course, don't forget to look in "#Welcome To Cohost" too! You may find some new friends there.

What file formats can I post in?

Currently, I am aware of basic image formats working (like jpeg, png) animated gifs, and mp3s. You currently cannot upload videos to cohost. I believe the reason is not related to server costs, but rather as a way to curb the uploading of copyrighted content.

How does cohost make money?

There are no ads, and yet, as far as I am aware, cohost is operating comfortably. There is, however, an entirely optional "cohost plus" that is $5 USD a month. Currently, there are a few perks, but not enough to convince me.

What if I think something about cohost should change?

Cohost has a forum where users can submit ideas for features and other users can discuss/upvote those ideas.

Here is a list of posts made for newcomers to read:

[earthstellar]

It’s 3 AM on a Monday Morning: Let’s Talk About Pharma

I cannot emphasise enough how Pharma was possessed/resurrected by literal space gods and the very first thing he did, leading up to the panels above, was to monitor his ex-not-boyfriend via security cameras-- presumably at least in part to ascertain if Ratchet had a new boyfriend or not-- solely in order to overpower the space god possessing his frame so that he could enact “revenge” and kill the shit out of his ex-not-boyfriend’s new boyfriend immediately. 

The very first thing Possessed Pharma actually does is have Drift shot as close to the spark as possible via targeted and clustered minion open fire.

Just prior to these panels, Pharma watches the security cameras for at least a brief period of time and immediately singles out Ratchet (and whoever appears to be closest to Ratchet) to ensure that his initial shots upon entering the deck are guaranteed as possible to destroy Ratchet’s new boyfriend and ONLY Ratchet’s new boyfriend (most of the other minion shots go wide/miss most of the others/don’t give as much damage to other bots present). 

There is no indication that Possessed Pharma would have given that much of a shit about any of what was going on, had it not been for Pharma’s deep seated obsession with Ratchet immediately kicking in the second he realised Ratchet was actually on board. 

It completely derails whatever the original plan might have been to address the loss of the God Gun. He 100% pivots towards getting the fuck down there with two new core objectives: 1) Obtain Ratchet and 2) Destroy Bot Most Likely to Be Ratchet’s Boyfriend 

Essentially: Pharma is so petty and so invested in Ratchet that it overpowers the influence of a literal god on his spark, processor, and frame-- Total possession, totally overridden by his instinctual petty needs.

(There is quite possibly also a further motive in the form of wanting to just generally isolate Ratchet the way Pharma felt isolated; Aiming at Ratchet’s closest friends and colleagues has a lot of intent behind it...

We see most medic characters tend to be social or actively at their best and most comfortable when with other people. First Aid is even part of a gestalt. We know Pharma did reasonably well in the past, right up until being stationed as a sole medical lead in an isolated location.

There’s nothing in canon that explicitly states that medic type bots might do better in groups, but it does make sense for the nature of the work, and we tend to see medic characters that have fairly social personalities or tendencies. So this is just my conjecture, but I have a whole too-long-post planned about Cybertronian class/caste and social behaviours in the works anyway...!) 

I know that we all already know all of this, but I feel like the sheer level of both pettiness and genuine obsession is core to what makes Pharma an effective and frightening villain. 

We’ve all seen a million “unhinged doctor” type enemies in all kinds of media before, but Pharma is somewhat unique among them in terms of how he got to this point, and how his obsession realistically developed. 

He knows what-- and who--he wants. 

Death can’t stop him. 

God can’t stop him.

It creates a far more effective unsettling vibe to Pharma overall; He’s not just dangerous due to medical knowledge and skills, but we know that he’s going to inevitably make unpredictable mistakes because his sheer obsessive focus on his points of interest have potential to fuck up his higher reasoning. 

It’s not just Ratchet he’s obsessed with, either.

Pharma at Delphi: Loneliness Under Duress and the DJD 

He was obsessed enough with running his clinic effectively enough under difficult conditions to provide care to an isolated and vulnerable population, at the very least to the degree that it’s hinted that he had such a focus on keeping the doors open and continuing to service those in need that when the DJD initially approached him. (Keeping in mind, of course, that a visit from the DJD is very much in the overwhelming majority of cases a brutal and horrific death for all on site.) 

We can assume that in engaging with Tarn, even though Tarn approached him first and specifically sought him out, that Pharma did his best to negotiate not just a reasonable “way out” of death for himself-- But for his patients and staff as well. The end deal was X number of t-cogs at X intervals, and you leave me, my staff, and the rest of my patients alone. 

It’s an unwinnable situation: Any deal with the DJD in such a situation essentially boils down to “Commit atrocities, or we will commit worse ones”.

He clearly felt the need to continue his deal with Tarn despite the spark-crushing, processor-warping level of moral injury it caused him to do, so out of an effort to continue providing medical services as needed-- For those who wouldn’t be effectively harvested for their t-cogs, at least. 

He viewed it, most likely, as a sacrifice of few so that the many could still receive treatment. 

His mindset on this may have been warped by his service as a medic during the war, although we have very little to no canonical information on what Pharma was really up to during the war for the most part, so it’s hard to say-- We do know that he worked with the New Institute, so who knows. 

But obviously, in the past, Pharma was well-adjusted; Even when working at the New Institute, which is when the panel below takes place. 

He was intensely devoted to his patients, took pride in his job. He was a good doctor, as far as we ever see him working in the past, and we do get to see a few glimpses of him administering what appears to be compassionate care. 

It’s unclear at what point various traumas from war etc. may have started to derail him, thus priming him as an ideal victim for Tarn to manipulate, and that’s something that needs to be remembered: 

Pharma is a victim of the DJD. 

He’s not a bad guy for evil’s sake; He set out to do good, or as good as possible given the circumstances that gradually developed. He wanted to make the best of an impossible situation for the sake of those he might still be able to save. 

It’s suggested that Pharma created the rust plague as a way to justify the closing of the Delphi site-- Which in and of itself suggests a serious level of desperation; It may have been during the creation of the rust plague that Pharma genuinely suffered a mental break of some kind. It’s a sign that he saw no way out, the situation was becoming unbearable/untenable, and he realised that Delphi needed to close somehow before it purely became a harvesting factory for Tarn’s t-cog demands. 

It’s a sign that he felt so isolated, even from his own staff, that he did not feel able to reach out for assistance. 

Left as the sole authority under such severe pressure, with all the typical pressure that comes with being in charge of the wellbeing and care of others also bearing down on him in a remote location with supply concerns etc., it’s very easy to see why Pharma eventually folded-- It was inevitable. 

He was under duress for an indeterminate amount of time, with very little outside assistance if any, with a limited number of staff who he evidently did not feel he could reach out to-- Either because of medical hierarchy nonsense (which is unfortunately a very real issue in actual real life medical systems) or out of a desire to prevent his other staff members, most of whom are junior medics, from potentially getting looped into the deal with Tarn and the DJD themselves. 

Pharma is uniquely effective as what would otherwise be a very stereotypical “mad doctor” type villain, because he is genuinely unwell, and we can understand fairly clearly how that happened-- Even with a lack of much background elaboration on Pharma’s past, and without having all the details of the lead up to where we pick up the Delphi situation. 

Pharma had a mental breakdown under sustained duress which spiralled into far more unhinged actions, but those actions--while not excusable--are at least understandable.

Because what do you do when you’re all alone, you have vulnerable patients at risk, you only have junior medical staff who are part of a terrifyingly small number of available/still alive medics post-war (which must also be taken into consideration when potentially sharing information with them which could place them at greater risk themselves), and the DJD-- a group of people that will kill everyone in the vicinity regardless of anything if their demands are not met-- is knocking on your door? 

It’s likely Pharma fixated on Ratchet because not only is Ratchet an exemplary medic, but because Ratchet seems to be one of the few colleagues Pharma was ever particularly close with in the past. 

In isolation, particularly in prolonged periods of isolation (famously, a few case studies exist involving prisoners held in solitary confinement for at least 12 continuous months, although I won’t link those reports here as they may be genuinely disturbing for some people), it is known that there is often a tendency for people at an intermediate stage of cognitive degradation caused by extreme isolation to mentally fixate on family members, close friends, colleagues, or any person or people they can more easily bring to mind-- People that they have formative or significant memories about, for example. 

(Part of this is simply because it is easier to imagine these better-remembered people in greater detail, which helps provide a slightly greater degree of mental stimulation while in total isolation. Among other reasons, but anyway!)

Ratchet fits that description for Pharma. 

A more mild version of this has also been reported to some degree by several adventurers/explorers, such as those who go on long term expeditions to isolated areas such as high elevation mountain caps--- An apt comparison, given the icy and isolated location Delphi is located in. 

Many explorers who survive gruelling expeditions mention fixating on a photograph of a loved one, or imagining what advice their friends would give them if they were present, or even talking out loud to their friends as if they were there-- Which is also useful for regulating breathing at high altitudes, so this serves multiple physical and mental purposes, for what it’s worth! 

But given the way Pharma monologues to Ratchet towards the end of the Delphi rust plague incident, it very much gives me the vibe that Pharma had likely been fixating on Ratchet for some time prior to Ratchet’s arrival at Delphi, and it may even be indicative that Pharma is at a point of mental stress where he may have been monologuing to an imagined Ratchet prior to where we step into the Delphi situation. 

Which is just my conjecture, as nothing suggests this in-canon, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this had been the case to at least some degree. Pharma’s ranting to Ratchet is very effectively unsettling and disturbing, especially with the in-universe context that Pharma in the past had been a very calm and effective medic. 

Stress and isolation and prolonged duress do things to people. Oftentimes, bad things. What happened with Pharma is overwhelmingly sad, and that lends greater weight to how frightening his behaviour is later on. 

This is someone who was unable, for whatever reasons, to get any help dealing with a nightmarish ultimatum under difficult circumstances while in relative isolation, with a lot of responsibility and professional stress bearing down on them throughout. It’s a realistic setup for a brutal downfall.   

Pharma undoubtedly had a connection to Ratchet going back a long way, both personally to some degree as well as professionally, but whatever else may have been going on with him between then and the end of the war, it seems the DJD and Tarn specifically may have ultimately been what pushed his tendencies for high independence and self-motivation towards fuel for obsessive behaviours.

It seems to me as though, to some degree, his obsession with Ratchet may have initially manifested as an attempt to cope and stay on top of things-- At least for a while. Ratchet was a good colleague, a friend, a great example of the type of CMO to aspire to be. 

But the DJD leaves no survivors. Pharma is not an exception; It just took him that much longer to die, and he suffered-- particularly mentally-- the entire time. 

Which doesn’t justify anything he did. But we can understand why he went on to do those things. 

And upon being resurrected as a frame-puppet for a space god, that fixation-- Ratchet as a sole point of focus, warped from being a coping method under isolation and duress to being a genuine full-blown obsession-- continues to drive him through what is, really, a horrendous situation there, too. 

It lets us know that the bots possessed by these gods are conscious, to some degree, in their own processors. They are aware to some degree, but their frames are moving beyond their control, their processors are muddled with the thoughts of a cosmic entity. 

That has potential to be terrifying-- And Pharma is powering through, once again, fixating, raging against impossible circumstances, inevitably failing. 

Pharma is, fundamentally, a doctor who fell prey to manipulation under threat of death and suffered severe mental health challenges as a result, and owing to ultimately being unable to cope, committed atrocities, acts of abuse of power, and violence while developing obsessive fixations with periodic episodes of acute manic behaviour. 

Things only spiralled out from there; Again, not excusing Pharma’s actions, especially as he does seem to have a reasonable degree of clarity/lucidity while in the process of setting up and/or actively committing several heinous acts even when they are bookended by what might be considered manic episodes (I really wish we had more canonical information on how Cybertronian processors function), but we can absolutely understand how he got to this point. 

And it’s rare to see a realistic and understandable “mad doctor” type character, so I appreciate Pharma as being a great example of how to do “mad doctor” correctly. 

Also, it’s hard to make such a character be in any way funny, but even though Drift getting shot is not funny, we can still make the connection that Pharma truly is interested in Ratchet to the degree that in his mind, Ratchet’s periphery-- friends, colleagues, boyfriend-- are targets for him as well.  Which is frightening. And also sort of easy fuel for fandom, which is helpful to offset the horror. 

It gives us an “out” from the potentially depressing background of Pharma, in that we can acknowledge the realistically serious and disturbing nature of his obsession with Ratchet, and the upsetting nature of his downfall, while also being able to say “lol so gay for Ratchet” and do normal gay fandom shit, which makes some of the extreme violence slightly more bearable for us as audience members/readers. (I love gay Pharma memes; I also cried at the end of the Delphi arc, at least twice. All things in good balance, lmao) 

JRO really nailed it with Pharma; This is a character that has been extremely well-written and well presented, especially considering the fairly limited amount that has actually been written for the character! We really only have the Delphi Arc and the somewhat brief later on shenanigans towards the end of Lost Light for any direct content involving Pharma, but we can still piece together this much from that comparatively little. 10/10 Nicely done. 

tl;dr it’s fun to talk about how Pharma is so gay for Ratchet that he overpowered a god in order to shoot Ratchet’s new boyfriend, because yes, but also, holy shit I have feelings about Pharma 

if you read all this, thank you so much! <3 

it genuinely is 3 AM on a Monday morning at the moment, now almost 4 AM LOL, so I have not edited this at all lmao, and I apologise for any errors etc. that there might be. <3 

[Source: Lost Light Issue #22, MTMTE Issue #17]

[evilwickedme]

This wasn't asked for because nobody in their right mind would ask for this but this is a fic rec list of fics I cannot stop rereading

Just started yet another reread of Inimitable Verse by deniigiq and I fully plan on rereading their into the multiverse series which occasionally crosses over also - this is a Spider-Man/team red focused series, think comics canon infused early mcu-spidey since only homecoming had come out for a non substantial amount of time they were working on the series and the daredevil stuff is explicitly tv show AND comics. Also the multiverse series is how I got into Murderdock and therefore how I got into Spider Gwen

Unpretty's Sorrowful And Immaculate Hearts series which is just a loosely interconnected series of DC fics. My personal favorites are Empty Graves, in which Martha Kent keeps killing time travelers trying to kill baby! Clark; any of their clois fics but especially Third Wheel; and Anti-Social, which is a social media fic mostly about Tim and Bruce that made me cry laughing. Catch Bruce trying to get Walmart's employees to unionize. Also shout out to unpretty's only fic with Jason in it, it looks awesome but is tragically incomplete

This particular Reverse Robin AU which put in the work to reverse every single younger generation and is chef's kiss I LOVE this version of Tim he's wild

Both of Shoalsea's fics are in constant rotation for me I talk about Into The Brighter Night all the time in the tags of reblogs and stuff it truly lives in my head rent free. Anyway Tim gets kidnapped by aliens and the batfam have to watch as yj98 saves him and it's angsty and funny and such a good take on what could have been if the new 52 hadn't happened. And Compassion Builds No House is about Tim and Pru from Red Robin. Ugh they're both so good

Speaking of Clois (I did you've just forgotten this by now) brilliant (like a confession) by kathkin (penny-anna on the hellsite) is so fucking good I'm. Okay. Anyway it'll be listed as inspiration if/when I finally post my two person love triangle fic for them

I'm too anxious to catch up on this before it's done but jumble sale chic is hands down the best spideydevil fic series despite and because of the omegaverse

Make A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is my favorite take on Jason, period, and has a lot of fantastic Damian stuff going on too. It's updating every few weeks still! Sometimes more often! I love you bacondoughnut it's me JustGail the person who will not stop commenting on your fic you're stuck with me forever

I lied above Rumspringa Murderdock is what got me into Murderdock but that series is second place. I found this one while scrolling through the tv show's mattfoggy tag, thinking I was safe

Speaking of Murderdock mattfoggy, The Lawyer All the Wickedness was written early on in spider-gwen's history and so diverges from canon really early in ways that I think are super interesting and creative

Oh also straight on 'til morning by merils (Tumblr url mamawasatesttube) does SUCH a great job unpacking Kon's trauma and building up healthy relationships around him including a budding timkon romance and yeah it makes me sad and happy at the same time

We're getting into poisonivory territory so just trust if you like the pairing and poisonivory is writing it you'll like it. Ok rapidfire

Like A Handprint On My Heart mattfoggy soulmate au with a twist

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? Damijon future fic/au. Jon came back from the future when both of them were 19. Demisexual!Damian at its best. Damian's terrified of being abandoned by Jon again and it made my heart hurt

I feel like I've already recommended every JayRoy fic by poisonivory and genuinely I do reread them all, sometimes in order of publication if I'm in a particular mood. Maybe the one I've read most though is I've Got the Feeling You're the Right Thing After All which is about Roy and Jason starting a fwb thing while Roy still harbors old feelings for Dick. Can't see anything going wrong here lmao

Mmm this post is long enough so I'll leave it at just superhero fic for now but I do in fact have the ability to do a whole post just for the Witcher or Leverage so I might do that. Anyway thanks for following me on yet another burst of insanity it will happen again

[nitpickrider]

a bit silly, but if you had to fill an Avengers roster, who would you pick?

Wooof, oh me oh my. Let's lay down some ground rules before I do this. 1). Only people who have been Avengers at some previous point in time. Doesn't narrow it down a LOT but this list would be a jigsaw of my favorite Z-Listers otherwise 2). Limiting it to seven people. That's the magic number with superhero teams and it gives me a reason to stop

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: Sometimes you just cannot beat a classic and when it comes to Avengers line ups there is no one that I think is more integral than Captain America. The pathos that he brings to the table no matter what character he is interacting with is palpable and reading through his first big volume has given me a deep respect and love for the character. He's our leader for sure, the axis of solid, steady service I can hang my weirder picks on.

Dr. Walter Newell AKA Stingray: You all saw this coming and don't act like you didn't. One of my favorite if not my FAVORITE Marvel Characters of all time. He's a doctor with an interesting specialization. His "I'm only a part time superhero" hangup is even funnier and more interesting if forced into the limelight on THE hero team. Not to mention he comes with his own swanky Hydrobase we can use for an HQ and with his wife and four kids running around underfoot we have the kind of domestic adorability I think any good team needs.

Miguel Santos AKA Living Lightning: The first time I can ever remember reading about a comic book hero being gay, as just like, part of who they are. A tiny detail in their rich inner life. Not to mention the less respect a character gets the more I want to lift them up on my shoulders. He could be the sweetheart with a little chip on his shoulder from not getting the respect his objectively awesome powers objectively deserve.

Angelica Jones AKA Firestar: Something you may not know about me. The first piece of media that really opened my eyes as to the potential and depth and scope of the Marvel Universe was Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. It was cheesy, it was cheap and yet Angelica was the first character that I felt SPECIAL for knowing and caring about. She's happy, she's passionate, her simple classic costume kicks ass and the New Warriors need their goddamn respect. 'Nuff said.

Sersi, Just Sersi: What little I have seen of this character fucking FASCINATES me. This woman is chaos incarnate. It's like she is actively making on the fly decisions with everyone she meets whether she's going to kill them, screw them, turn them into a small mammal or some combination of the three. She's *Instant Plot Complication Just Add Water* because she saw a butterfly and that somehow translates to her blowing the entire team's cover.

Dane Whitman AKA The Black Knight: I love everything about him. I love his vibe, I love the fact that his backstory is built partially around recontextualizing the lore of a mostly forgotten Atlas fantasy comic. I love that he has a wickedly evil cursed blade that comes with the side effect of basically holding him hostage to a heroic moral code. And on top of that he's a dorky intellectual who can't see a social cue if it's blaring at him from oncoming traffic.

Jennifer Walters AKA She-Hulk: ...I do not feel the need to explain or justify this choice. YOU know Jen is awesome. *I* know Jen is awesome. She-Hulk does not need justification. She shows up in stories and makes them better by existing. Also yes this is the bodytype I'd use. Yes, I have an addiction. No, I don't feel the need to explain that either. RESERVISTS: Characters I really like but either don't know enough about or don't think they make good Avengers

Marc Spector and System AKA Moon Knight: One of my favorite dudes but does NOT play well with others. Was interesting for about 10 seconds as a member of the West Coast team but I'd prefer he never touch the ranks again.

Flint Marko AKA Sandman: Marvel did Sandman fucking dirty by never letting him fully reform and be the good guy. I want Sandman to be the good guy dammit

Maria de Guadalupe Santiago AKA Silverclaw: I know literally nothing about her outside of reference books but her powers are dope and I dig her vibe.

[itsmoonpeaches]

ATLA fandom and other fandom spaces have been ruined by purity culture, an essay.

In recent years I've noticed a trend, and call it what you will but it looks like a shift in cultural dynamics in how specifically Western (but mostly American) fanbases have interacted with media.

In short: there is an obsession with purity.

For lack of a better term, let's call it "an extreme form of wokeness." I know how this sounds, but I truly cannot think of a better way to describe this phenomenon.

Before I continue, I'm not one of the people who hates progressiveness or representation in media. I'm one of the people who champion it. However, I have noticed that ironically, this obsession with making everything positive, pure, and acceptable has watered down how both newer media and fandom have chosen to perceive a story.

Because this is the fandom I have been in the longest and seen the most of, I'm highlighting how purity culture has taken the Avatar: The Last Airbender (ATLA) fandom and shaken it to its bloody core.

Purity culture and the Netflix live-action

The ATLA fandom is stuck in a cycle of purity culture that actually renders the original media worse through perception and it's a thing that resulted in the Netflix live-action (NATLA) being what it is.

Both the fans of the original show and as a result, the creators of NATLA itself, became so afraid to let the main characters be flawed or have negative traits. In NATLA, Sokka's first season sexism was cut because of its problematic nature. In fact, they removed most forms of sexism in NATLA. The irony is that it made the show itself more sexist.

NATLA's Sokka was always right, always keeping the family together. His wanting to prove himself and keep the family together are not new traits different from the original Sokka, but these are highlighted with hardly any negativity. Sokka starts where season two Sokka is. He doesn't get a chance to learn and grow and be punched into sense by Suki.

And because Katara didn't grow up with a sexist brother, her character suffers too. She loses half of her fighting spirit. She doesn't feel the need to prove herself as strongly and is only driven by grief/guilt rather than an additional personal interest. So when there is finally a sexist scene in the Northern Water Tribe and she fights Pakku, it feels unearned. Pakku calls the North culturally sexist, but we had no build-up or evidence. And Yue is a strong powerful woman already from the North, so where is the basis?

Instead, Katara calls herself a master without learning from practiced masters. All unearned.

In another vein, Zuko suffers the same way and so does Iroh. Zuko is angry, sure. He whines like the teenager he is, but he is already portrayed as a misunderstood character rather than the antagonist he is supposed to be. His anger is simmered down, he doesn't want to burn down Suki's village. He has to be pure and perfect because he's a "good" character.

Iroh starts largely the same as in ATLA, but he gets constantly bombarded with reminders of what the Fire Nation did, and therefore him. This is a war crime Iroh who should never be liked, of course. Because he's not pure. He's not perfect. (Can you feel me rolling my eyes?)

Purity culture and the perception of ATLA's beloved characters

I already started on Iroh, but let's go a little deeper.

Where did this idea start? Well, the ATLA fandom is so obsessed with being pure and good that there have been fans who have pointed out that liking Iroh and Iroh as a character is so problematic because he committed war crimes.

Oh no, heavens forbid that a show set during a wartime period has characters who have dark backgrounds and committed atrocities! Let's just throw gray morality out the window!

If you're talking about war crimes listed from the Geneva Conventions, then sure he did. But also, ATLA is set in our real world's equivalent of the 1800s. There were no set war crimes then if you want to get technical.

But also, and I say this with the utmost respect, war itself is a giant crime. Are you saying that there's a low possibility of Zuko not having committed war crimes? What about Hakoda or any of the Avatars? If I got you there, if you are scrambling for an answer, then maybe you understand my bafflement at this fabricated issue about Iroh.

It is OK to let characters have dark pasts and reckon with them. It is OK to like them as characters because good writing will allow you to like the character and not necessarily the person the character is all the time.

Saying it's not OK to like a character because of a past misdeed that they have grown from stems not only from purity culture but from cancel culture too. It's almost like the fandom doesn't care that someone can change. And, without these flaws, all you have is a flat character that no one can learn from. I sometimes see these kinds of flat portrayals and interpretations in fanworks.

Purity culture and shipping

If I'm about to open another can of worms, I might as well do it with a bang. So, let me just list a few of the ATLA shipping fandoms where I have noticed purity culture coloring how they ship and who they will "allow" to be shipped:

Kataang

Zutara

Zukaang

Taang

(I'll admit, most of the ships.)

Kataang fandom:

They have a weird obsession with Aang being pure and right all the time because he's the main character. He can't have flaws. If he does then he's an abuser and Katara is in an abusive relationship.

In a newer phenomenon, Aang has to be aged up. Let's make Aang two years older than Katara rather than younger by two years. It's more acceptable to have an older male in a hetero relationship anyway. Might as well totally nix the fact that men being younger than women in a relationship is a thing that exists. It's not as accepted so, change it I guess?

Oh, and since it's also more acceptable, let's portray Aang with hair and always older. Hair is way more acceptable than voluntarily shaving your head or being bald. Let's throw his Air Nomad heritage out the window while we're at it.

Zutara fandom:

In a related vein, it's suddenly OK for Katara to be with Zuko because she's younger and Zuko is more "mature" than Aang.

Zuko is the older man and Katara is the younger woman, so it's more acceptable. Might as well keep it pure, right?

Zuko is never wrong of course. He's way past being flawed. He no longer has his Fire Nation background where it will take years to get rid of learned and inherent racism cultivated from a hundred years of war against the other nations. Katara also has to be super accepting of it too otherwise she's too flawed.

Zukaang fandom:

Honestly, this one isn't as much within the Zukaang fandom itself, but rather other ship fandoms ganging up on this one idea that if Aang is four years younger than Zuko it's wrong.

However, I'm sure there are those within the Zukaang fandom who bend this rule to their own benefit and pretend they're the same age in their fanworks because it's more acceptable.

Let's ignore the fact that there are real-life couples who are four years apart or the fact that there are larger age gaps that exist. Purity culture dictates that age differences are unacceptable because it might be pedophilic, but who am I to call this out?

No one is saying that a full adult should date a child, Karen. Newsflash, when you grow up, a four-year age gap becomes more and more negligible.

Don't get me started on pointing out that an age gap seems to be fine with hetero couples (see the above couples), but not same-sex ones. No, I don't care if the age gap is smaller in Kataang and Zutara. An age gap is an age gap. The ATLA fandom is the same one that says two years is too much between Aang and Katara but is acceptable between Katara and Zuko.

Does the fandom see something I don't?

Taang fandom

Toph and Aang are the same age.

I think I explained enough.

TLDR

The ATLA fandom has come to a point in which it cannot decide between the original story itself and what they have deemed acceptable in real life.

The purity culture within the ATLA fandom may be influenced by the notion that this is a children's show we're fangirling over. But, so are many fandoms. I'm aware that many people come to the ATLA fandom with a sense of nostalgia and many people who grew up with the show have associated it with childhood. Which is fine, but will that really dictate how you move forward? You can mature with the media you consume.

The fandom suffers from not understanding that media consumption should be an experience, not a fallacy. Nor should the fandom fear the prospect of flaws and nuance. It sadly comes to questioning the state of media literacy.

If a fandom is to thrive, it should embrace what storytelling is: a way to express feelings and sometimes to learn things. We cannot learn anything if everything is perfectly within one specific idea of acceptable.