#like they're horrible for each other and i hate them together half the time but

[colorofmymindposts]

I see a few people complaining about the fact that in the AMC show, Louis is an active participant in Lestat’s demise, rather than a passive witness like in the original source material. But he actually puts Lestat in his coffin?? That’s the One Request Lestat gives (in the movie and book) that Claudia and Louis  just ignore (which is doubly confirmed by Lestat’s POV in the books). A request, really a dying wish, Lestat gives in the vain hope it will help restore him, a goal neither Claudia nor Louis are eager to help him with. In fact, in the movie, Claudia mockingly says “I’ll put you in your coffin!” before proceeding to slit Lestat’s throat with a knife. And afterwards, though he’s visibly conflicted, Louis helps Claudia dispose of Lestat’s body in the way she wishes -- whereas in the show, Louis is immediately so distraught, he cannot allow Lestat’s body to be maimed any further by either himself or Claudia.  

As Daniel in the show points out, whether it was a consciously or subconsciously driven decision, Louis putting Lestat’s body in a coffin with the locks inside in a dump full of rats saves/would have theoretically saved Lestat (an action which tracks with how many Louis’ interactions with Lestat in the show Are instinctual, irrational, and seemingly counter to his best self interests). Louis saves Lestat from what would have been his certain end, otherwise. Also, Louis’ active role in Lestat’s (almost) death gives Louis infinitely more agency, and his guilt over it as a result will be So Much more juicy and personal.  

[milesandcorysupermacy]

All jokes, mami

42!Miles Morales x Hothead!Black!Reader

Genre: Angst to fluff

Warnings: First time writing but I think it's pretty good 🤷🏾‍♀️, use of n word, cursing, Miles crying, mentions of trust issues, that's it I think

Word Bank: Hija: daughter Bien: Good Muy Bien: Very Good. Ay Dios mio: oh my God Tia: Aunt

Summary: You're having a great time with Miles, Talking about drama and laughing your ass off! But, when you go in the bathroom you find some press on nails that DAMN sure aint yours, and are WAY too dramatic to be his mom's. What do you do?

You're sitting in Miles' room. 'Neon Guts' by Lil Uzi Vert and Pharell playing in the background. You guys are doing what yall usually do, gossip about things that go on at Visions.

"Nah, that nigga was trippin', ma. In what world is it EVER ok to crease another man's forces? I'm not the issue."

Miles said in his own blissfully ignorant (hilarious) way. Talking about yet, another incident he's had within the past two weeks with the same guy, Bryson. He hates this man with everything in him. You try to get them to stick together since they're 2 of the handful of students that are minorities. But, as I said earlier, he's ignorant.

"Bae, I get that, I do. The forces were clean. Fresh out the box." You say, trailing off. Playing with your faux locs, thinking of what to say next. Trying to tread carefully because you know Bryson is a sensitive topic. He's your ex, and yall are still cool. But, Miles just NEEDS to be throwing blows with him all the time.

"But that doesn't mean you punch him in the face! A simple 'Ay watch where you goin' bro' would've worked perfectly, but now he look like a busted, lightskin, balloon." You say doing a horrible impression of Miles and his suave brooklyn accent.

Miles chuckles at your description of Bryson, deciding to add onto it.

"Nah, he don't look like no balloon. His ass look like a clown. Matter a fact, a whole ass circus, and he the star. That nigga a bitch anyway. He really think he look like Drake?Nah, bro. Yo ass look like French Montana, stop playin'. Like, Drake? Nah nigga more like Brake, because he needa pump the brakes and slow down before Plankton come and steal the secret formula for that big ass forehead! Cartoon looking ass." Miles said breaking you two out into a fit of laughter. Silent laughter. The worst kind of laughter.

The laughter where you two are just rocking back and forth on his bed, slapping each other's arms and legs, wheezing slightly, and barely gasping for air. You two calm down and you think of a joke. You gasp from realization.

"Nah, because why do he for real laugh like Mr. Krabbs?" You say laughing again. Miles starts laughing too. Snorting this time, which only adds to the excitement.

"I love how funny I made you, Mami. I'm rubbing off on you, bien. Muy Bien." Miles says in a slightly creepy way.

"Damn, I can't even get credit for being funny, Morales?" You say pretending to be offended.

"No, it's better like this." He says before giving you a peck on the cheek and putting his hand around your waist.

After like 5 mins of talking about more drama at Visions (with no laughing fits). You and Miles settle down and start cuddling. With 'Good Days' By Sza in the background. You wrap your arms around his back, with your legs on the outside of his. Miles, just laying on his back and wrapping his arms around your waist. (I hope this makes sense 😭) Cuddling in a bear hug kind of position. You guys stayed like this for about an hour, and just as you're about to doze off, unlike Miles who fell asleep 20 minutes ago. You have to pee.

You slip your hands from around his back, and try to subtly move his hands from your waist, but he woke up. Damn, getting to the bathroom is not gonna be easy with his clingy ass.

"Where ya goin', mamas?" Miles mumbles half asleep, with a raspy voice. Your heart flutters from the nickname.

'How tf does he have this affect on me, and he's half asleep?' You thought.

"Baby, I gotta pee. I'll be right back, ok?" You say trying to dumb it down since only half of his brain works at the moment.

"No, you're gonna take too long. Just stay with me, we'll get you a pamper or sum." He says gripping your waist even tighter. You usually would've given up because of how sweet he was being, but you deadass were gonna pee on yourself.

"Miles." You say sternly. He lets your waist go with a dramatic sigh, and you walk into the bathroom.

You do your business, flush the toilet, and walk over to the sink, starting to wash your hands. But- oh, what's this?

You pick up a pack of orange, rhinestone, one inch, press on nails. You don't wear press on nails. Shit, Miles would know because he pays for you to get your nails done. You feel the anger boiling inside of you. Maybe they're his mom's? No, she hates orange. It reminds her of Halloween. "The devil's holiday". You remember that's what she calls it and you start to smirk. No! You're supposed to be mad right now. You finish wiping your hands on a paper towel and throw it away. Grabbing the nails and marching into Miles' room.

You see miles on his phone, he must've been waiting for you to come back. Or texting his other ho-

"Hey, Ma-"

"Whose nails are these?" You say throwing the box at his face.

He groans and inspects the box, tilting his head in confusion. "I dunno, these seem a little too... crazy to be yours, why?" He says completely oblivious.

"Nigga" You chuckle from anger, pacing around the room. "Stop playing dumb. Miles you're not stupid, you've never been stupid. So I know you understand what pisses me off, and one of those things is lying. Imma ask you one more time, Miles Gonzalo Morales. Who's fucking nails are these?" You spat gritting your teeth during the last sentence. Miles shot up out of the bed, knowing what you were getting at. Trying to convince you with all his heart he'd never do that. This poor boy has lost enough, and he's not about to lose you to a pair of ugly ass nails.

"Mami, I promise I don't know who's nails those are, It's wild that you're even accusing me of this right now. You came over every day this week!" Miles expresses, desperately trying to give you enough evidence.

"Yea, and I always come over after school, maybe your hoes have a scheduled time for after I leave. Who is this bitch? Hm, Miles? Is it that Mexican girl on the 2nd floor, she seems like she's our age." You scream at him, sure that Rio had woken up from her post-work nap.

"Mami, I don't love anyone but you, I promise, ok? Even if I did, with all the money I spend on yo shit. You really think I have enough to buy another girl some nails?" He shouts back. Pointing to the Gucci Mini-Purse he got you for Christmas, he had saved up all year to buy it ever since he saw you eyeing it at the mall. But he could have it back now and give it to his other hoe.

"You know what? You can have this back since my only purpose is being a charity case, fuck nigga." You say taking out your keys, phone, headphones, Lip Gloss, and card out of the purse, shoving it in your pockets. Throwing the purse at him.

"Mami, you serious right now? Sit yo hot-headed ass down and listen to me, you actin' crazy!" Miles grimaced realizing what he just said already knowing your reaction.

"CRAZY?!?!?! I WILL SHOW YO ASS CRA-"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE? Dios mio¡ It sounds like the real housewives in here. Hija, what did he do this time?" Rio asked.

"Mama Rio, who's nails are these?" You ask her. (She gave you permission to call her that after the 6th dinner together, don't worry)

"¡Ay! I was looking for those, they're Miles' Tia's. She came over yesterday, and was showing me them. She took them from Miles' cousin because that little mama is only 12 and does not need those." She said grabbing the nails and walking out the room to call his Tia. Leaving you and Miles in the most awkward silence. You slowly turn around to see Miles standing there. You thought he would have some sassy remark but no. His lip was starting to quiver and you knew what was next. He starts letting tears fall which surprised you.

"Papa, why are you crying?" You say walking over to hug him. Feeling the worst guilt ever.

"I....I thought you we're gonna leave me, Mami. I would *hiccup* never do something like that to you. Honestly if the roles were reversed I'd forgive you. I don't think I can even see my life without you. I'm so sorry." He says.

"Miles..." You whisper.

"It's not your fault I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You've done nothing to prove that you're untrustworthy. I have trust issues and that's something I need to work on. Not you. I'm so sorry, baby" You say sitting down on the bed for one of the most needed cuddle sessions yall have ever had. And after a few minutes of comfortable silence, Miles breaks the ice.

"What if I just made my mom cover for me, and I am cheating on you?" He asks with a shit eating grin.

"Miles..." You warn

"All jokes, mami"

--------------------------------------------------

FIRST FIC! what'd yall think? I'll accept constructive criticism. If you have a request or a way for me to make my writing better, just send a ask!

[nu-carniviva]

A censored version of Nu: Carnival is coming to the app store... Which is not good

When this was first brought to my attention, I honestly didn't believe it at first. I mean, why would I? Nu: Carnival has advertised itself as an adult-only game since it's release. I rarely go on Twitter since it's a total shithole, but that's how I found out that the rumors were true. Nu: Carnival - Bliss, they're calling it. The overall plot, events, and gameplay will be the same. But many crucial changes will be done to the dialogue, CG, and audio. Long post ahead, but I'll be ranting about it below

Why is this a bad move?

There are multiple reasons as to why making a censored, teen friendly version of Nu: Carnival is a horrible decision. I might not get them all, but here are a few I can think of off the top of my head:

It is literally impossible to separate the nsfw from the source. Whether the devs like it or not, they made an nsfw game. After the first half of the prologue, the game opens with porn. You are introduced to two characters at the time — Aster and Morvay. That right there is already an issue. Morvay is an incubus. He is a sex demon who wears leather lingerie. While there is certainly more to his personality, his is very existence is sex. Sex is what keeps him alive and fed. Morvay is very open about his sexual desires and the topic of sex as a whole. He doesn't find it shameful or taboo. So... What are they going to do with Morvay? He can't be removed since he's bonded with Aster. Censoring him will have him take a MAJOR hit. Now that leads me to the second part of this bullet point: sex is a crucial part of the plot. Essence is what keeps Klein stable. Eiden and his clan's job is to use their essence to fix the gem altars so said altars can keep the essence regulated throughout the continent. While there are several ways to replenish one's essence, the most effective way is through sex. Sex also plays a crucial role in expanding on the plot and the characters. Sex scenes aren't just there for entertainment, there is genuine lore within the dialogue. Through sex, Eiden bonds with his clan members in the most intimate and personal ways. He sees his clan members at their most vulnerable moments, and through that they share a deep connection. You can see when sex scenes go from Eiden and whoever the clan member is having sex just to have it to having sex because they genuinely care for each other and want to physically bond. I could delve deeper into this topic, but I'm sure you all understand by now what I'm trying to say. Sex is not just an accessory or perk. It's part of the worldbuilding

Minors will not be able to escape nsfw within the fandom. Since the game's release, the fan base has been entirely made up of adults. Since we are all adults, we freely talk and post about the nsfw parts of the game. You go on any social media platform where Nu: Carnival is discussed, and you will see nsfw. It's a very casual topic in the fandom, and in a way it's something that bonds us together… As weird as that may sound. My point is, making a censored version of the game is pointless, because the source itself in inherently nsfw and the fan base is full of adults making nsfw content which is usually uncensored since the artists expect for anyone in the fandom to only be adults

Minors in fandoms often bring drama... Hear me out on this one. Not to sound like one of those "grr minors dni I hate minors" people, but kids in fandoms often bring drama and discourse. As aggravating at it is, I have to admit that it isn't entirely their fault. When you're in your early teens, you're starting to discover yourself. You become very opinionated and defensive over your beliefs because you're trying to figure out who you are and where you stand in life. You're trying to gain independence and autonomy. It's normal... But it's very draining. Since Nu: Carnival has an all-adult fandom, there isn't a lot of drama at all. Sure, you're going to have stupid people saying stupid shit to start drama, that happens everywhere, but those people are typically ignored because it isn't too common. With kids coming into the fandom and starting unnecessary drama, it'll be so much harder to avoid. Not only that, but kids don't have as much media literacy as adults do. It's not an insult, but simply a fact. Nu: Carnival delves in a LOT of heavy themes in the game. Some of which are stated outright while others require you to read in between the lines to pick up on them. Since the fandom is all adults, it's easier for us to handle these topics and discuss them maturely

Why are the devs doing this?

My guess? Money. The devs are part of a company after all. At the end of the day, all companies want to make money. By making a game they can put on app stores, the game becomes more visible to a broader audience. People who have never heard of Nu: Carnival before will see what appears to be an innocent anime game when it's far from that. All it will take is a simple google search for people to see the the game is very much nsfw and not something minors should indulge themselves in. It's dangerous for both parties involved, both the minors and the adults

But hey, whatever's bringing in the money, right? Sigh...

[captainjacklyn]

Love, Love, Love Part 2-ish

A/N : continuation of this and this, hope you liked the first part because I'm on an absolute roll. To all those waiting for a continuation of many of my series, I am so sorry. I'm serious guys pls forgive me I know it's been a really long time since and I still need to finish other requests I started.

Context : Rollo gets transferred to NRC for a few months, The Headmaster decides that he would be staying at Ramshackle Dorm much to Malleus' dismay (along with grim and the first years who are aware of the truth). Yuu doesn't find it nice either but with time they allow the third year to open up to them, eventually growing mutual respect for one another, perhaps some friendship..and a bit more.

Warning(s) : fluff, mostly crack, hints of rollo liking Yuu, this is a continuation of some sort to my joke so pls understand that it isn't from the beginning, Rollo might be OOC he's just scared of Yuu, they/them pronouns for Prefect, the first years who weren't present in glorious masquerade find out and try to push rollo away. (it doesn't work) is this stolen from peter rabbit ? Yes. Most. but not all of it.

The story starts...now ?

Something suspicious was stirring around the 'relationship' between Yuu and the strange newcomer. At least it looked like it to their close friends who were already bitter about the idea of that religious trauma-induced student coming but even more so when that horrible influence hung around their prefect.

It wasn't as if they didn't trust Yuu, they didn't trust him ! He was being all close with their mom friend pal, knowing what he did, they weren't going to stand around and do nothing. They're gonna do something about it, about him.

It all began the day the Adeuce duo and Epel witnessed Yuu casually speaking with grey haired priest and HE WAS SMILING?! OH HELL NAH GET YOUR EYEBALLS OFF OF THEM- but truly they misunderstood, for now at least, since most of the resident's interactions regarded around Yuu, threatening Flamm..Of ripping his guts out.

.

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.

.

"Ace, Deuce!" Grim shouted through the halls as he ran towards them, the both of them turned around to see the raccoon panting and wheezing from his sprint. "Hey there Grim- Woah what was that?~ You trynna imitate being a cheetah now?" Ace teased, his remark making the fire cat retort with a 'hey!' before Deuce stepped in to ask the obvious question. "What's wrong?" forgetting his comeback, Grim immediately switched back to panic mode.

"My Henchman! A-A-And that weird suspicious dude! They're SPENDING TIME TOGETHER AND BEING ALL WEIRD MUSHY LOOKING!" He exclaimed, his revelation shocking the two freshmen who's eyes widened in horror. "What- How?! Didn't prefect say they hated that guy?" Ace sputtered as he tried making sense of the situation, he was a bit confused as to why he was reacting this way but with the amount of braincells left he couldn't care anymore.

"That's what I thought! But this morning I found them- laughing and talking to each other!" he added more fuel to the fire, ace and deuce exchanged concerned glances and spoke in unison. "We gotta get the others."

"Yes !" Grim smiled as he threw a fist in the air. It took a good second for him to realize they didn't say what he thought they would.

"...Wait what- AH!" But he didn't have time to argue as they grabbed him by the neck and made their way to find the others.

Passing through Savannaclaw, Pomefiore and Diasomnia almost felt like an eternity to fetch Jack, Epel and Sebek. Especially the half-fae as he was persistent on the idea of staying by his future king's side during the entire duration of Rollo's stay. After sharing the news, they all bolted to Ramshackle dorm, and there they saw it.

Yuu was having a conversation with the same young man that dropped them down a trap door when they came around for a celebration. The same young man who tried to erase magic forever. And they were speaking like they've been friends for years.

The group of first years were hiding behind a tree, in between the gates of the not-so-abandoned dorm. All of their heads comically poking out to take a peek at the flabbergasting sight. "That's a lot of smiling." Epel commented as he watched the prefect supposedly laugh at something Rollo said. (They weren't, they quite literally started to laugh because of Rollo's genuinely terrified face) "More than before even." he continued, Ace added on with another remark, "They're showing a lot of teeth."

Then, Jack made a very bold statement which earned collective noises of disgust from the rest of the team. "Do you think they like him?" Sebek's face morphed into horror, Grim started gagging, Deuce looked like he was going through fifty existential crisis all at the same time, meanwhile Ace was debating on what he should express. Either way they were all mortified.

"They don't like him, they're just being nice! Yuu is nice all the time, they always smile at us!" the grey monster retorted, denying any further supposition. "Well..not like that." They flipped their heads towards the pair, and Yuu's hand rested on Rollo's shoulder as he chuckled nervously.

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.

"Could you imagine? You trying to take over the world again? What a joke ! I would bury you alive honestly!" the non-magic student exclaimed as they broke into another loud laughter. Rollo could only nod along a little offended but mostly nervous, "Right yes no that would- that won't ever happen." "Yes because I will actually force-feed you the flowers you tried killing us with."

"😨"

"😄"

Yay. Part 3 coming up soon.

[nanomooselet]

My Brother's Keeper (VII)

Knives, despite it all, I do indeed pity you. You horrible creature. More than you might imagine anyone would dare.

I said some time ago that Knives has agency and Vash doesn't, and that the Eye of Michael's dogma demands sacrifice.

One lives. One dies.

When Knives tells Vash to leave humanity, it's at that very instant Vash realises the truth: that this isn't about the Plants versus humans. It was never about that, ever, and trying to dissuade Knives from continuing his descent by arguing from that premise isn't ever actually going to work.

It's about how discovering Tesla broke them in two. It broke reality, cracked the singular unit they once believed themselves to be in half, and sent each half down forever-separate paths in both space and time.

Vash, through Rem, decided he could face the future. Even despite this discovery, how apathetically cruel the world is to the innocent, the future is always ours to shape as long as we live to choose. Rem showed him that through acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the pain of the past, even if once ignorant or complicit, one could learn and heal, and therefore work to be free of it. Not perfect. Never perfect. But still better.

Nai only saw potential pain. The fear of facing the world where it could be inflicted, and of those who'd done so, consumed him. He would erase both by returning to the past, the innocence and ignorance of having never learned the frightening truth. He'd thus build a paradise, an Eden, where no sin was committed and no sinner would set foot. He alone, in his own singular perfection, was fit both to assume this task and the power - and thus the right - to fulfil it.

Since when have we been so different?/Who are you? We've become so different I don't think I even know you anymore.

Vash begins to cry because he sees now that Nai… Nai is gone. Maybe he ran for too long, or maybe the Nai he thought he knew never existed. It doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing of his brother left to love in this monster before him, who's done everything that he's done and isn't sorry and wants to keep doing it by seizing control over Vash's own body. (Even though they look more like each other now than they have since they were kids, which still absolutely ruins me.) Vash grieves his brother, his brother's love and their togetherness in the past, but he finally knows for sure that they're gone, and he must define his own identity, and move beyond them.

His declaration that he'll always run isn't about running from humanity, anymore than Knives is truly fighting for the freedom of the Plants.

Seriously, Knives isn't fighting for the freedom of the Plants. He thinks he is, because he thinks that justifies controlling their bodies and consuming their power and benefiting from their suffering, but he's reversed cause and effect. He acts and so they suffer, but he believes their suffering is what motivates his actions and not his fear and his greed for the power to destroy whatever he fears. It's circular, and it's entirely self-centred.

It's the logic not of a liberator but of the entire system of oppression.

Knives's paradise, the home to which he's so desperate to return, no longer exists. It never will again. Not for him or for Vash or for the Plants. Knives himself broke it. Knives himself ripped it out of the heavens and plunged it into the earth, shattering it, so he could reshape the pieces into something that he alone controlled. Knives will always assume control, and he won't stop if you give what he says he wants, because he won't admit or even try to understand that it's not the truth.

He wants to stop being scared and alone. He wants his brother to need him and never leave him. He wants his mother, but she's gone. (He killed her. Over and over and over again he kills her and she's still always gone and he hates her for always being gone. Why is she gone? Why didn't she stay? He asked. He gave her a choice.)

(Yet in Vash's memories and in the people he loves, Rem's spirit lives on, and always will. She still loves him, her perfect boy, even still protects him, just as she promised she would. Did you guys know Vash's coat is bulletproof? Did you guys realise Vash literally still walks around kicking ass in the protective embrace of his mother? I actually had to take a minute, when I figured it out. It made me tear up.)

I was rejected?

Let me back in! Take me back.

Knives wants to go home. To be a child again with Vash by his side. Innocent, together, in paradise. But once you've grown up, you can never really go home again. It's a fundamentally selfish desire to want everything to go back to being the same forever - what it means is that because it was good or kind for you specifically, everyone else has to conform whether it was good and kind to them or not. There's always danger in nostalgia even when it's not misplaced. It encourages destructive nihilism, malicious and ignorant apathy. If the best can only ever be behind us, there is no reason to try to go on.

Vash is not nostalgic. Vash will run, and run, and keep running. For a lifetime if he has to - and a Plant's lifetime is a long one. It's not that he hasn't made a choice, but that he'd already made it long ago: to be free of Knives, to live and to fight for independence from his brother's abusive care, and to find a way to unite humans and Plants, the purpose he's been eager and happy to serve since the day he found it. Rem's dream is one he longs to fulfil, and he finally knows he has the power, intelligence, resilience, strength and above all, the right to take up that task.

He's just acknowledged and accepted that it's not also his purpose to help his stupid brother, not if this is all he gets in response. Dismissed, ignored, insulted, his grief and compassion mocked; abused, put down, smothered, injured, rendered permanently disabled, scarred, violated, traumatised. Forced into the shape that Knives imagines he should be in, pieces cut away until he fits the image in his brother's head.

It's very sad that after all that Knives has done to him, Vash doesn't value his own life and wellbeing enough to care for himself as much as he cares for everyone else in the world. But it still beats Knives trying to do it for him. He's so bad at it.

In the past, on occasions such as this, when Vash demonstrated like... the capacity to sort of almost disagree, Knives would yell at him suddenly and loudly enough that Vash would freeze up in terror, and then Knives would do whatever he wanted regardless. My man isn't good at hearing the word "no". If yelling or insults failed, he'd do something physically violent. I've seen a lot of takes on how funny and/or gay it is that Vash's reaction to Wolfwood grabbing his lapels and threatening to torture him to death is... this.

But understand that when Vash suggests an alternative that doesn't involve mass murder, his brother tends not to agree to it. Or stop at threats. Vash's arguments with Knives always make Vash sound a bit pathetic and dumb because Knives doesn't actually engage Vash - he shuts him down or insults him, telling him he's too weak and stupid to even speak. He has no respect at all for Vash's opinions, abilities, or as a person - honestly, I wouldn't treat an animal this way.

When someone finally respects your beliefs and abilities after they've been coldly or violently dismissed so many times, that's… how it feels.

Knives assumed that Vash had no powers so he was weak, and then when Vash did demonstrate powers, that Vash was weak because he was frightened of them. As usual, the trauma he's inflicted maybe being the problem never entered his mind; it's always Vash's fault. When Vash finally has both power and the will to assert control of it, he finally has the capacity and strength to enforce his refusal. And that leaves Knives finally exhausted of any means to break his will.

Except one. One final choice.

Vash is right: the plan has failed and this is over. Knives can never again have the power he desires, and what's more, Vash would rather be shot at for another hundred years than be together with his brother in paradise.

In spite of everything Knives has done to destroy it, the independent identity of Vash the Stampede yet survives. And so.

One lives.

One dies.

Nai is dead.

There's no turning back.

(The stars are falling down.)

And no one ever really goes home.

If you want to tell me Stampede is a poor quality adaptation, it's not funny and it's shallow and Vash is a loser now and there's no Milly and they're just exploiting the property and if it just hadn't been called Trigun maybe... maybe...

Maybe! You're entitled to an opinion. I'm open to the discussion. I do always try to assume good faith.

However, I'm still probably not going to agree.

And I'm done. Now I need to lie down on the floor and cry over my beautiful disaster twins. Thank you very much for reading! I encourage you to be as insane in the tags as you feel moved to be, because I crave validation.

(Extreme Lesbianism for Meryl Stryfe: Coming Soon.)

(Part I)

(Part II)

(Part III)

(Part IV)

(Part V)

(Part VI)

[kalims]

‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "are you a fool? don't fall in love with me."

high school, wise fool,

to be straightforward. a remake of high school otome au :D

parts. one , two , three , remake

characters. epel, riddle, jade, ace, deuce, leona, jamil, malleus, floyd, neige, silver, and mysterious character.

cw. not proofread, yandere in the end. silver lowkey being main guy.

includes. gn!reader.

note. pretend we are smart cause we still are in this remake. this was kinda rushed cause I was struggling to fit all of them in the 3 paragraph limit I set for myself.

・ㅤyouㅤㅤ— a surprisingly gifted child whom acquired a scholarship granted by headmaster crowley himself, just before an honorary recommendation from your loving father figure; crewel. nearly all professors had taken a certain liking to you though even if they didn't crewel would've been sure to 'discipline' their minds to see what an angel you are because no way anyone would hate, you. his lovely, lovely child. now everyone is weirdly being nice to you just because they're scared of him.

・ㅤepel felmierㅤㅤ— your childhood friend who can see through you anytime, it doesn't matter if you're a good or horrible liar. epel will find out anyways despite all the odds against him just because of the fact on how well he knows you. well,, it's a given since he's been by your side the whole time you grew up. if there's anything epel has over the multitude of people equipped with brilliance, or money.. it's the thousands of memories you've both made and he's certainly not gonna lose to some losers who don't know the first thing about you!

epel was your first man! the one who was there to wipe your tears when your ex carelessly played with your heart, the one who screamed with you when there's a jumpscare on the screen, and the one who laughs with you on random occasions you both catch sight of each other and honestly start dying after the other breaks into a snort. he might be unseen as a 'real' man in everyone else's eyes but he was yours, and he's gonna commit to that title till he dies.

out of everyone epel is the one particularly iffed by the decreasing time both of you spend together. he can't tell if you entering school with him was the best or worst ever because the tides of time are pulling you apart! next thing you know he's barging in your room to demand you spend time with him and personally claimed a day he called "epel day" and you can't really say no to his face, right?

ㅤ

・ㅤriddle roseheartsㅤㅤ— the terrifying student council president that might as well call his presence terrorizing because he's just eating and everyone would be quaking in their boots, even the lunch lady. your first encounter with him wasn't all that pleasant cause the moment your classmate burst into the classroom and yelled, "code:rosehearts!" was the moment the class went to chaos. everyone was hastily fixing their appearances, fast cleaning, sitting properly—oh my god someone just jumped out the window. midst your confusion (since you were a transfer) his eyes immediately zeroed on the hamburger on your hand. and you hear a whisper, "it's a tuesday." what?

okay so apparently eating hamburgers on tuesdays was banned and you were sent to the red room somewhere in heartslabyul. whatever the red room was, but apparently it's a discipline area or whatever. it was just a room you were made to stay in for like half an hour till' you were discharged. it wasn't that bad, but from now on you officially started hating on the prez for his poor judgment skills cause hello? couldn't you get a pass? you became an absolute migraine to riddle and now he hates you too because can you stop putting cheese in his tarts?! enough with this blasphemy! now riddle is trying to screw up your life too.

you learn that he's just actually really lonely so you swallowed up your pride and sat next to him in lunch since you noticed he looked quite.. sad eating, whereas he was alone. riddle only raised a brow and looked you over judgmentally. (lesson learned; don't tell him that you pity him because he's gonna start denying he ever looked sad with a red face, but strange.. he looks heated over your explanation for another reason other than anger..)

ㅤ

・ㅤjade leechㅤㅤ— your ex a year back. jade leech was one of the most random relationship you ever had in your life, once. you saw him in class, and the smile he had was somehow.. charming. mischievous, polite, and cunning. not the most ideal traits someone would look for a man but you'd admit you would have a thing for anyone who would treat you right. and he did! though to this day you're still not sure why he approached you in the first place but one thing led to another and now you've started dating.

everything was perfect. (keyword: perfect) you were content, and at some point gave a future with him some thought. the assumption that you were one of the rare people that saw first hand the more 'innocent' sides of jade leech got you wondering right now, the times where he looks like a little, happy kid watching his mushrooms or the remarks that genuinely got you flustered. you wonder why it all ended in the first place.

he cradled your heart in his hands and dropped it to sink under the water without turning back once. there was no explanation, just a simple; "let's break up." and it was all gone, just tears left. so when you were just at the climax of picking yourself up why in the hell is he standing in front of you right now wearing the same smile that enchanted you?! you hate the way your heart aches when he still remembers the things you told him since forever and you swear to ignore his existence even when he's awfully intent on messing with you again.

ㅤ

・ㅤace trapollaㅤㅤ— your roommate who would be more suited to classify as a demon, ace is one of the most annoying people you've ever met in your life and you simultaneously want to slap and smack him in the face because he's too laid back ninety percent of the time. you both, sorta disliked each other at first. him not liking you because you whacked him with a broom in dead of the night after overtime practice (but you don't blame yourself because it was totally justified!) and you to him because he started insulting your entire being.

anyways he's the worst roommates ever. there was clearly your name highlighted in bold colors on the tupperware of your favorite snack in the fridge then you find it completely empty the next day, sometimes he even has the audacity to place a sticky note containing "thanks for the snack loser :P" which in turn made you stick another note on the fridge, "fuck you" as a response. now it's some kind of ritual for the two of you to paste derogatory, lowkey playful messages to each other on the fridge. whoever comes over is gonna be concerned with the amount of sticky notes in the fridge.

he moans about how he's one of the 'talented' froshes in the basketball club which you actually can't deny because he's a first year being considered to be a regular on the team and some of the third years are still in the benches! actually, some of them hate him for it and for once you join him on complaining about them cause it wasn't even his fault? though his statement; "they're just bad at it and jealous of me" was concerning but eh.. it's ace, what else would you expect?

ㅤ

・ㅤdeuce spadeㅤㅤ— suprise suprise! turns out ace and you weren't the only ones who was going to be roomed in one dorm. here enters: deuce spade, your second roomie who is a hundred times better than ace. compared to the latter, deuce is a gift sent by god. he cleans up his messes, even insists on cleaning some of yours even when you try to talk him out of it. okay so apparently he still had trauma from when his mother whooped his ass when he didn't clean the house when it was an order. a mommas boy indeed.

unfortunately to the abrupt appearance of a new roomie (no thanks to crowley since he didn't even tell you.) ace and you had used the spare room as a dump for your stuff so it was full of random things like the the electric guitar you don't even use anymore. so you declared that all three of you will be cleaning it out, deuce wasn't originally in the plan but he offered to pitch in so.. the cleaning was full of sweat, heavy lifting which you left to deuce because damn. he can lift those without much effort compared to your arms.

deuce has a concerning obsession with eggs cause whenever it was his time to cook breakfast he always cooks a variety of eggs. you do like eggs but the taste is starting to make you nauseous from how many times you've eaten it for days straight. unlike ace who would attempt to kick you out of your room when you trespass even when he does it freely to yours, deuce even welcomes you in. and you don't know why ace is tagging along with you on your trips to deuce's room. (also deuce joins in on the sticky notes but ace says his notes are that of a boomer because all he puts is the grocery list)

ㅤ

・ㅤleona kingscholarㅤㅤ— the dude who you accidentally stepped and literally tripped on right after, who knew the dirt on the floor tasted so bad? when you said you were hungry you didn't mean this! leona peeked an eye open and when it landed on you, you were now his self proclaimed slave. or to word it better, working for him as repayment for stepping on him and dirtying his clothes. which got you flabbergasted because is it not already dirty from the grass and dirt he's sleeping on? does this dude not know what a bed is?

you only actually learn his name through epel since he never told you when you pointed at leona blabbering about he's the guy that practically enslaved you for stepping on him (which you'd emphasize on accident) and epel looked absolutely horrified when he frivolously whispered; "that's leona kingscholar!" to you but the guy still somehow heard it because he made a gesture for you to follow him. from now on starts the demise of your life.

you might as well call yourselves two peas in a pod because he always had you following around and doing tasks he can't be bothered to do. making you run off to his club room to grab a spare ball since he wanted to practice.. or running around looking for his lost shoelace, in short it was a nightmare! you're not sure why the hell he made you wear his jersey for a game and making you sit in his team area, place thing... for the period of the game. apparently it was so he can go back to you much faster when he wins this (he actually said that like he's sure he would) and the crowd goes silent when he tilts his head to you and asks if he was good.

ㅤ

・ㅤjamil viperㅤㅤ— technically he was just ace's teammate to you. suprise, suprise! ace did make it into the regular team and now it's customary for you to attend his games, practice or not because he threatened that if you didn't he'd eat all the food you'd try to hide. you only know of jamil's existence after he had dropped an exhausted ace off your dorm just after he had also taken him to the nurse's office. you don't know if you hallucinated or not but there was definitely a bitter kind of look on jamil's face when you fretted over ace.

huh. since then you've been thanking jamil endlessly for taking the time to take care of ace (and admittedly throwing shade lowkey about ace's careless nature) apparently he had taken a nasty fall for his agressive play. jamil himself seems quite.. shy about your praises, probably having not been used to being openly grateful for his actions. you don't know why you're being so thankful to the extent that you had been learning how to make a decent bowl of curry for him..

though jamil's pokerface twitched a little when he sampled your 'first ever experiment' "it.. could use some work." he coughs and you wonder if he knows that you can see his hand impatiently shaking to gulp down the water. since then he's helped you hone your curry skills to the max and there's one thing you can say. he was an absolute god in cooking, for that you cried praises savoring the dishes you were given the luxury to eat. you've grown a lot closer than before and this time he looks particularly at peace when he's the one suffering the injury and now being the subject of your worry. perhaps this is one thing he'd like to have for himself.

ㅤ

・ㅤmalleus draconiaㅤㅤ— a stranger you've met by the woods, your parent would be recoiling violently if they found out you went against their firm words to not wander anywhere. especially forests! but you won't give up the beautiful spot you've found within the premises of the forest, just a perfect place for yourself. calm and serene are your favorite words. apparently it was an old building owned by the school, crowley wouldn't certainly mind if you used the place for yourself.. right?

the place was a bit dusty, old with a sense of ancient familiarity with it. a certain charm of the old place you supposed. nevertheless you've taken residence in the porch whenever there's just some things you don't wanna deal with. you were scared out of your wits when you heard a creak of the floorboard and several other signs that there was... something inside the house as you are.

here enters the 'thing' that scared you to death, a mysterious man with misty green eyes. he refuses to state his name when you've already given yours, seemingly quite delighted at your ignorance towards his existence. tsunotaro (the nickname you'd given him since he insisted you have whatever) was there when epel didn't understand you sometimes. he listens quietly, you'd mistake his silence to be bad but it's a habit so that he could hear your voice easier.

ㅤ

・ㅤfloyd leechㅤㅤ— the unbearing brother of your ex, ever since you and jade broke up you never really heard from him again. so you assumed it was because of the fragile relationship you had with his brother and eventually let it go. since you found out jade was also in NRC, you assumed the worst and that his two friends would be here as well. floyd in particular kinda terrified you sometimes but he's a good guy... usually! albiet his habit for violence to solve a problem.

speaking of violence he never had a problem offering his fist to you, which you'd mistaken as a fist bump but it was actually a sign of 'friendship' and it meant that if you ever needed someone to be taken care of.. floyd will gladly spare some of his gracious strength to pound them into oblivion! violence aside. he looked ecstatic by your presence, not at all affected by the fact that you were separated for like a year. save for a pout and a, "shrimpy, where were you?" then he went back to being all affectionate like in the past, you weren't sure if it was appropriate since he is your ex's brother but eh.. you aren't with jade anymore and floyd was a dear friend so..!

besides all that he still keeps the promise of protecting you ever since a year ago, which is kind of weird since jade (as your boyfriend) should've been the one to make that kind of oath. which is evident from the way he scares away all the bullies that might pick at you for being only able to enter the college through academic means. one thing that everyone knows how to calm down floyd though, is that your mere presence sends him into a flowery mood which explains why you're always getting dragged around somewhere.

ㅤ

・ㅤneige leblancheㅤㅤ— the celebrity happy-go-lucky boy from the rival school of NRC; royal sword academy. you can say this at the very least, you were just a small, teensy tiny little fan of neige! it's not your fault he's so genuinely adorable! moving into a new environment meant discovering new favorite artists and you just so happen to enjoy neige's music from time to time. so you can admit you really didn't expect to meet neige through VDC.. since you're only the manager you only expected a glance or two but.. talking live with him makes your heart race!!

the descriptions of him online honestly doesn't do him justice at all! 'bright and cute' neige isn't just a handsome face, they should see the events he held to donate to charity and your inner fan came out and decided it was time to tell neige how awesome he was without filter. it is admittedly embarrassing that our mouth run off without your consent but the boy himself looked awfully frustrated by your genuine words.

it seems like neige really had taken a liking to you after the little rant but hey, you're glad he didn't find you weird at all! a dream come true.. neige finds himself thinking of you every quarter of the day, bursting into a deep flush but he can't tell if it's by the thought of your kindness (oddly enough) or the fact that he caught himself in the act. either way.. even he notices that there's lots of other people parading for your love.. it's selfish of him to think so but no person can ever live up to you!

ㅤ

・ㅤsilverㅤㅤ— the ever softer gentleman that you had caught snoozing his life away in a grassy field. out of the goodness in your heart you gently shook him awake, knowing full well there's classes about to start at the moment and from the uniform he adores its clear he was a student like you. the first thing you thought of was, "stunning" and you had actually paused to register the rare, glistening colors in his irises. honestly it's not fair how much natural beauty this random man you just met had effortlessly..

you learn that silver is the whole package deal. where he is kind, he is also strong. he holds the type of persona that would fight the world for you, avenge you, and love you unconditionally. okay technically you're starting to get lost in your concerningly vast imagination including silver but you honesty can't stop daydreaming because he's like the epitome of a prince(ss) wait he could be anyone's type right now.

silver is kind, and frustratingly sweet. you think that maybe it's your love story blooming when he gingerly ties the stem of various flowers together and place it in your forehead. a craft he learned from when he was bored in his childhood. you feel like someone when he casts you the softest gaze you've ever seen in your life and it's breathtaking. since when did life move by so fast that you're comfortable napping amongst the vast green field together?

ㅤ

・ㅤmystery characterㅤㅤ— the one who witnesses, the one who knows the feelings of all these puny idiots towards you. the one who will remain a viewer to your story, and perhaps never make a debut for the main leading role, your love interest. if he can't get in your story, then he will drag you in his whether you like it or not. do you still remember him..? because he would have never forgotten your face since that day.

he refuses to let your story end with that silver haired buffoon who won't get half the luxuries you deserve.. this can't be.. you just can't have an ending where you're happy with someone that's not him...

[homoeroticbetrayal]

Iconic Homoerotic Betrayal: Round 1

Round 1 Directory

Context (they're really good very passionate):

Nagi/Reo (Blue Lock)

basicallt bluelock is a soccer program being funded by the soccer association (i swear i know soccer im tryna speed through this) theyre tryna make it so japan wins the world cup and to do so you need a strong striker. so they gathered all the young adults (hs graduates) and put them in this program, which, if you're eliminated, you dont have a career in soccer at ALL. they didnt know this walking into it :p. so reo and nagi met in school and reo saw him (rich kid, gets what he wants but doesnt really know what he wants yk) and said that he has to have him. or....... something. anyways, reo needed someone to learn soccer with and he chose the most antisocial sleepy guy on campus. and then proceeded to be an absolute simp (theres a scene he literally massages his back.) he also has canonically called nagi "good boy" (nagi said "yes boss" to him as well) context for the specfic betrayal was the game required them to be in teams of 3 and this is after reo and nagi's previous team of like 8-10 lost to isagi's team. reo and nagi said that they were going to go to win the world cup together. thats always been their promise. (theyve known each other for half a year i think. which is a short amount of time to be so attached LMAO.)

they also have a second betrayal which is honestly worse than this one, and reo's team loses to isagi/nagi's team and nagi tells him he's done with reo.

its a common theme of nagi never picking reo btw. reo was upset after the game because after you win a mtach you pick someone from the losing team to advance with and NAGI DIDNT ADVOCATE FOR REO HARD ENOUGH I GUESS AND ISAGI TOLD THEM ALL THAT THE BEST CHOICE WAS CHIGIRI. so they had another homoerotic fight that im never getting over. hope this meets ur criteria. they're in their exes era. its slightly better tho because nagi does feel bad/sorry for what he said.

(Other anon, I'll include your essay if they make it into the next round)

Geto/Gojo

"He was my friend, my one and only" ultrapowerful, one tried for it one born with it bitches but the twist is one was so consumed by the twisted horrible nature of humanity he went all Magneto but a lot more murderous while the other one only stays nonmurderous because he believes in changing the system by training the next generation. You don't understand he spared him, you don't understand, Gojo's devastation of knowing that he didn't do anything to help him as he slowly literally ate and ate and ate hate and pain to protect people that didn't protect his own. The devastation of knowing that there was nothing else to say nothing to do no way to help him bring him back he'd changed into someone he understood but simply couldn't support. Geto's betrayal, leaving everything and everyone behind because their way not only wasn't working but it was protecting those who wouldn't protect them. Geto laughed for the first time in ten years after all this when Gojo said something to him , the moment before he (Gojo) killed him, carried his body, refused to have it burned. Geto gets basically possessed and when Gojo sees not!him for the first time he freezes and gets captured, Geto almost breaks the possession momentarily whe he hears his name , he doesn't, Gojo gets captured, Geto is stuck, cursed , dead.

[paradisepoisoned]

I'm drunk, and work is consuming my life, so I give you the Death Note tattoo AU no one asked for.

-L was a world-famous tattoo artist, but no one really knows what he looks like except his clients and disgruntled employees, but his work is well recognized. Moved to New York to open his own tattoo shop but he's kinda a mystery in the industry and he's one of those owners that doesn't really show up to his own business anymore he rarely tattoos and when he does its only things he wants to do. Will fuck off to Cambodia for a month or something and then randomly show up to collect money and sleep there for a week.

 -L has only ever took two apprentices and they were Mello and Near. He took them on at the same time and it was a complete disaster. L refuses to take on an apprentice ever again

-Near specializes in sacred geometry, mandalas, and all that tedious crazy shit. Line work is impeccable. I feel like he'd be great at lettering and that fine line bullshit that everyone else hates. No one takes him seriously as an artist cause he looks like he's fucking twelve. He has amazing work but is absolutely horrible with clients due to his non existent social skills.

-Mello is the black and gray guy. He's one of those guys who just whips out a 23 mag and goes to town and bangs out a half sleeve in a few hours. I can see him doing crazy horror shit and those big crazy religious pieces like praying hands statues and all that good shit. He doesn't do color and doesn't like anything with a lot of linework. Looks scary but kinda a softie. 

-Near is great at linework. Mello is great at shading. They compete and fight on a regular basis. They have an ongoing silent war stealing each other's supplies,clients, etc. (They're secretly in love tho, deal with it)

-Matt definitely the anime bruh I could see him doing some super colorful new school anime type shit he's a street shop kinda guy at heart tho hell do the dirty jobs no one else wants to do and he's FAST he can bang out your little infinity symbol butterfly feather clusterfuck matching finger tattoo with your 13 friends no problem. He wears goggles while tattooinglmaoaoa idk why, but he also gives me big piercer energy, lol 

-I'm sorry but I can't leave out Linda. I feel like she's the color girl. Specializes in cover ups and botanical tattoos but shes well rounded and can take mostly anything that walks in. Probably the most organized artist out of all of them and keeps the shop from falling apart on a daily basis. I feel like L also trusts her to be the one to manage the shop while he's not there since the others are all completely unhinged, lol. Shop mom 100%

-Matt and Mello hit the bar at least once a week after work and talk shit till 4am 

-B Specializes in trash polka fucking fight me on it.

-B and L apprenticed together and were working together when L opened his own shop but B kinda went down a dark path and him and L drifted apart and now have beef so B is the artist no one talks about (except Mello cause I feel B woulda played a big part in his apprenticeship) 

-B also kinda legitimately tried to burn the whole shop down before he left soooooo...

-L has kept B's room open for years, hoping he gets his shit together one day and comes back. 

[izzyspussy]

see they're legally able to do the ya-yas from the old song in the new song because when blackhands split up they did it quick and extremely painful but were pretending to do it quick and painless and so their legal proceedings with regards to who owns the music they made together were pretty lazy and legally inadvisable and they just split it 50/50 like everything else bada boom bada bing we DON'T want to think about this AT ALL just GET IT DONE lawyers!! bye!!! and they didn't even say okay this specific half of songs etc they just had an arrangement of like 50% ownership each of the copyrights or whatever (idk how any of this works or if this is even possible just go with it)

anyway so then when the new song with izzy's new band comes out where he uses the ya-yas from the old song that ed wrote about him, and the new song is very obviously about ed and is not flattering, and it's a whole thing, stede and ed's new fans are like omg you should so totally sue that guy, and it gets so much traction on social media and in music/entertainment journalism and shit that izzy and his band think this is For Sure happening, like they Are going to get sued, and so they're like covertly preparing to countersuit but not that covertly and so that gets out and then ed is like omg he's going to SUE me?? </3 but of course at the same time both ed and izzy are like I Deserve This. I Deserve For Him To Sue Me For My Own Music Because It's His Too And I Am A Monster. And I Deserve To Be Defamed Also. Because I Am A Monster.

and then they do in fact sue each other due to the media pressure and the fact that they are both so certain the other one is going to sue them anyway so they might as well sue too even though in fact actually neither of them ever had any plans to sue the other one first, and they go to court about it and it gets dragged out horribly and it's a whole circus, and izzy gets supremely villainized and loses half of the half of the fans that he "poached" by being talented and emotionally genuine in his covers and new music and people start saying he probably didn't even write any of it and the covers were just a gimmick and none of that stuff is probably true about ed and ed is an innocent victim in all this, even tho ed like publicly admits on the record that he cheated on izzy and maybe he even tries to admit that he hit izzy but stede convinces him not to put that on record just in case izzy decides to use that to for further legal action even though ed is like ?? if he was going to surely he would have already? and meanwhile stede is realizing he's maybe been very biased about this and actually izzy isn't a bad guy and maybe he's the bad guy here actually (because of course he can't conceive of ed being the bad guy, and he CERTAINLY cannot conceive of their being no bad guy and/or they're all bad guys and/or they're all good guys and sometimes good guys can do really bad shit to each other).

anyway so meanwhile, ed's new music on stede's label has been not exactly shitty because the music is reasonably interesting in sound but the lyrics are really boring and trite and ed's heart just clearly isn't really in it and he's like careening toward pop easy listening, which not to be a music elitist or anything i do like pop easy listening, but it is kind of a downfall from the progressive industrial he was making with izzy (and fang and ivan) in the pre-stede band. and like he does want to be making pop he wants that bouncy bubblegum flavor, but he can't bear to be genuine with it and reveal himself in any way and it shows. his fans are mostly people who love the idea of what he's trying to do more than what he's actually giving. (and also he knows that and pretends he's into it, that his name and his whole vibe is Enough, but also he resents those fans for not holding him to real standards and he hates himself - i mean for a whole host of reasons, but also for not meeting the potential of his vision out of, lbr, cowardice).

anyway so the suit goes thru, ed wins the rights to all their old music and also a lump sum for defamation, and technically he sued izzy's new band as a whole for this but izzy pays the damages entirely himself. and like to be fair he's rich af from the old band even tho now he doesn't have royalties from the hard work he put in anymore, so like he's not bankrupted by this but he is cut down from who-gives-a-fuck to having a monthly budget, and it also breaks up the new band mostly just because he's like i'm a clear financial liability (even tho there's really nothing else left to take legally speaking) and if you keep me on your lineup you're going to literally get murdered and die, and so he's back anonymously writing backing music for solo vocalists where he gets very little creative freedom and no credit and he hates it but he hates it less than a 9 to 5 so it is what it is. but jim and everybody still tries to hang out with him as friends and they mess around a little in the garage because they like him and they miss him and they want him to be okay and to be around him and play with him. and they leave their shit behind in his garage because none of them have really Made It yet and he's the only one with a garage to leave it in.

and so then stede has his whole crisis because he broke up ed and izzy's relationship and their band and he seduced ed to his fucking vanity label and ed's new music sucks and he thinks that's his fault and now ed and izzy aren't even friends and the wikipedia page is a blood bath and ed doesn't even know technically stede is only separated from mary not divorced and it's only a matter of time before he finds out and is he really just having a midlife crisis like everyone says? and he hurt all these people in the process? exactly like the worthless no-talent rich asshole that makes his problems everyone else's problems that izzy (among Many Others) said he was? so he cuts and runs and dismantles the label and disappears into the night inasmuch as a modern day stunt music producer can and goes back to mary and the kids and she lets him stay even tho they are legally separated and she's within her rights to kick him out, and this gets on the news cycle of course. and stede didn't leave a note or anything, so once again ed only has whatever rumors are going around to go on for why this happened.

so obviously he goes nuts. he blew up his whole life for stede and because stede made him believe he could switch genres if he wanted to and he could be good at it even though it's so different from what's expected from him with his tattoos and his piercings and his leather daddy vibes and his weird anti-vocals that simply Don't Fit the pop scene, and then he did bad and everyone hates him (not true, but it's ed) and izzy hates him (again, not true) and he absolutely thinks that destroying izzy's career and taking his music away is Worse than beating him up and cheating on him (izzy does not agree; but to be fair what he thinks the Worst ed did to him is not hitting him, not being unfaithful, and not taking away his work - all of those izzy thinks he at least is in part responsible for himself, no, what he thinks is the Worst ed ever did to him is simply. to break his heart. that's worse than anything else). anyway so ed is back on his Since You Are So Convinced That I Am Your[ Monster] I Will Be It shit, if you can really say he ever got off it in the first place (debatable).

so he turns up drunk at izzy's house and they fucking get back together. and then ed pressures izzy into inviting now-jim's band over to play and he'll watch, and he nitpicks at absolutely everything and tears them the fuck apart. but also he's still drunk and like kind of visibly crying and being pathetic even while he's being incredibly mean to them, and also he's a fucking legend surely he can't just be talking? right? some of this has to be good advice? so they keep coming back and playing in izzy's garage and getting torn down by ed. and izzy keeps trying to defend them, and ed just completely fucking ignores him, until they leave and then he's all over izzy and izzy tries to pretend to himself that this is good and it's what he wants and he wanted ed back he wanted stede gone he just wanted to be with ed this is what he wants. this is good. but they're both even more miserable than they were immediately pre-stede, and eventually izzy has to admit to himself he's actually more miserable than he was when ed was actively cheating on him which is fucked isn't it. so he tries to gently bring this up with ed - er... as 'gently' as izzy hands can fucking do anything - and ask if ed really wants to make this work or if he's just torturing them, tells him that he still loves him, the whole deal, and ed throws something at him and threatens that if he doesn't shut up he'll beat him up again, and izzy takes that as a non-answer instead of the very clear answer that it is because he's the second messiest bitch alive. and he goes to bed with ed and lets him do whatever he wants and ed cries on him and it sucks so fucking bad. and then in the morning ed is pissed as fuck that izzy didn't break up with him and condemn him and beat him up and sue and kill him or whatever, so he goes into the garage while izzy is in his dinky little second-bedroom studio recording some stupid background track he doesn't care about and he goes absolutely psycho ham and he destroys jim's and everyone's equipment to smithereens.

and izzy calls fang because he doesn't know what else to do but obviously he's not going to call the cops on the love of his life, you know, so fang shows up with ivan and ed gets a good wallop on ivan and gives him a concussion, and maybe a broken piece of equipment gets horrifically embedded in izzy's leg, but the three of them manage to get ed out of the garage and out of the house and fang gets him in one of those suffocating headlocks until he's on the verge of passing out which is basically "calmed down" or the closest to it you can get in this situation and then points him in a direction and tells him to fuck off (and then later they try to keep it quiet what exactly happened, even tho like..... what excuse can you make lol?), but not before all of jim's and everyone's instrumence and stuff is fucking trashed. and izzy has never felt more guilty for anything in his fucking life. he's certain that he's going to be tackled and killed (and he'll deserve it, just like he deserved everything else). but! this is finally the last straw for him and he tells ed - over email aslkks - that they're done For Real This Time.

izzy tries to pay the gang back for their shit but they won't take his money, but then that also means they're pretty much shit out of luck at least for a while because they're all like baristas and bartenders and shit and they can't just drop thousands on new equipment whenever they want. no more band. except they still have whatever shit izzy had in that bedroom studio and whatever shit they weren't using and was at their own houses, like frenchie's actual fucking lute. and izzy tries to give them his recording stuff, and he had an acoustic and an electric guitar up there too, and they're like okay fine but actually sike we're going to use your recording room too and since it's your room you have to be there and we don't have a guitar player anyway so there. so they start making music together again and it's fucking weird ass genre-bending shit because izzy still prefers to write in a very prog-industrial style, and jim still sings like a punk, but frenchie's on lute now instead of bass so like ?? hm. and they're well and truly a garage band now just fucking doing whatever they can do with what they've got and putting it up on soundcloud or whatever the fuck, no label, pay what you want, etc. but they're sensational again like izzy's instagram covers were because everyone's like what in the god damn fuck even is this and why does it legitimately fuck.

meanwhile, ed goes on his hermit journey of the soul or whatever, and comes out somewhat better on the other side, and he tries to re-start up the old band with fang and ivan but they're not interested, so he has to go on another hermit journey of the soul and come out a little bit more better on the other side of that one, and he decides okay you know what fuck it i'll start my OWN label. like i said he's a god damn legend so even with all the crazy shit about him being kind of legit dangerous and like beating up his partner and destroying all their shit, he still has reputation capital, and he manages to get some pretty sweet producers like spanish jackie to join up with him and get it together. he even pulls bonny and read out of retirement.

and like... he doesn't hate it. he feels like he's really making a difference, and tbh he does actually love going out to open mics and shit to find talent that's his favorite part. he loves meeting new people with new sounds and actually helping them flourish and do what they really want, and his label is wildly diverse because of it. he's doing really good work in more than one way. but it's not what he wanted. he wants to make pop music. he wants to be a popstar with an industrial rock background who has tattoos and piercings and wears leather and is an anti-vocalist. and he fucking wants to be loved for it. he knows he's doing good and he genuinely sees the value in it, but he fucking wants it for himself. not that he didn't get it with the old band doing the old thing, but still... he's so jealous of the new guard doing al this cool weird shit and getting celebrated for it when he didn't get to. but the workload of being head producer on this label is too much for him to be doing other shit too, and his hermit journey of the soul actually really did do him a lot of good (as well as, uh, his therapist lol) so even tho he frequently gets the urge he doesn't abandon everyone and try to do his own thing willy nilly. agonies.

until of course eventually stede makes his way all the way through his own journey of the soul (distinctly not hermitic) and comes back onto the scene. he's finally full divorced from mary, and they split their assets pretty evenly too, although you know more thoughtfully than ed and izzy did lmao, so he's distinctly less rich now but he still has all that rich guy investment know how or whatever, and he still wants to make music (he wanted to be a musician and he's like got a higher education in it and shit, but he just cannot fucking carry a tune tragically). anyway, so he and ed make up and they decide to take the relationship slow, but they go full speed on business and ed signs over the label to stede to manage. and finally ed gets to go back to being a star, and this time he's actually doing what he fucking meant to do when he signed with stede's original label. he actually makes really good, genre boundary pushing pop music that is fun to listen to but also artistically interesting and made with authentic heart. and he becomes just as sensational for his musical creativity and emotionally poignant lyrics as izzy.

and then stede goes ever so slightly rogue, partially out of guilt but also partially because like... he really thinks they're legitimately a good fit, he starts trying to woo izzy's new-new band to sign with him.

[navysealt4t]

Hello mutual-in-law (we share a common mutual). Tell me about navyseal.

NAVYSEA L . HEAD IN HANDS <333 shaking u shaking u they make me so ill . idk how famillar u are with jrwi but like. both gillion and jay were trained to be weapons. more literally on gill's side. he's the chosen one, he's the undersea's hero, he was given armor too big and a sword too heavy before he even grew into his stature. he was trained to think humans were evil and that when the time came, he would act out the prophecy and save the undersea.

and JAY ! jay was raised in a military family her only future was too become a great general like her father thats all shes ever known. thats just who she was meant to be. and then her older sister, her great sister who was strong and powerful and unbreakable, is killed by pirates they say and jay cant do anything else but avenge her. she trains and acts as a spy with one goal.

and and through chip they find a family. they find family and love and understanding and THEYRE JUST SO SIMILAR . GOD. gill was trained to hate humans and jay was trained to hate pirates, anyone who opposed the NAVY, but all this love and freedom is coming from what theyre supposed to hate. and they learn together how many lies they were fed and how wrong things are and how they've done and supported horrible things

and they don't judge each other. they understand. they love the version of the other that's in front of them ... like like the best way to fucking describe it is "i will not ask you where you came from i will not ask and neither should you" from like real people do BECAUSE THATS LITERALLY THEM. like ohhh my god . head in hands. and theyre growing together, not just for themself but for each other. and the devotion theres so much unconditional love and understanding . theyve been through so much together like . man. man. they are so silly together but they're so in love it makes me SICK !!!!!! <- enjoying this. but its so sillay jay will literally have a pivotal moment in her character arc where she shoots gillion and knocks him to 0hp and like 15 episodes later gill will be convincing her to shoot a bullet at him so he can cut it in half i love them

also they r transfem t4t god told me so <3

[gravesphillip]

Valentines // Joel Miller

warnings: smut, overstimulation, handjob, titjob, multiple orgasms(m), restrains, praise, bottom!joel, afab!reader, service top!reader, joel being a brat, tlou plot switched all over the place/nonexistent, if I missed any lmk!

it wasn't the first Valentines for you two, but it surely was VERY different from the other times. being together for almost 4 years, through literally– the end of the world together, you wanted a change.

specifically in your twos sex life. it was the same old everytime, not that you were complaining.. it didn't necessarily matter in the time, you loved him. that's all that mattered. although, joel always being on top and bending you to his will got boring. he would always please you and forget about himself, it made you feel horrible.

this valentines was going to be different.

wanting to please him this year, give him your best instead.

just, were unsure of how to approach it. due to his stoic and tough guy personality, you don't know how accepting he would be to this new found idea of yours. but I guess that was the fun of it, yeah?

—

"valentines is coming up." your voice cutting the awkward silence while you two sat in your run down living room. Joel was quite the quiet man, loud only if needed. he was mostly a reserved man, keeping his shit together as much as he can.

he answered with a look, thinking it'll be the same thing as last year and before that and before that, so on. he really didn't seem fond of valentines day– at all.

joel couldn't just not celebrate it though, he had someone to celebrate it with. to cherish and love on a day meant for it. he wanted to atleast show he cared.

while the topic remained in the air, you grew nervous. would he like it? maybe it wasn't a good idea. he wasn't one to want to try new things, but you really wanted to atleast try.

—

waiting on the bed in your fancy lingerie, covered with roses and a great aroma, you saw him walk out the bathroom from taking a shower. towel wrapped around his waist as he approached you. he was ready. ready to continue on the same routine you two have had for years. "wait‐ joel." suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, giving you a confused look. clearing your throat, you leaned over and reached into the nightstand.

pulling out handcuffs, once he saw what was in your hand his confused look grew more apparent. "whats your plan with those?" almost dumbfounded by it. shuffling over to him, finding yourself sat on the edge of the bed now. "you." placing the fluffy cuffs next to you before grabbing his wrists.

"i wanna try something new this time, please? i can stop whenever you want me too.." very lightly spoke, your voice shaky with fear by his possible reaction. "jus' unusual of you to want this, but I don't mind sweetheart." his tone started as a rough gruff, ending as a small– almost worrisome one.

he definitely wasn't used to being the one to recieve the pampering when it came to sex. this was very new to him, new to both of you. he had to place trust in you, alot.

—

hooking the cuffs around each of his wrists, tightening them so that they're manageable for him. looping them around the beds post. "are you sure about this, joel?" a simple nod from him was not enough. you needed vocal confirmation. hoisting his arms up above his head, moving closer to his face. shifting further in his lap that you had climbed up in.

"use your words, joel." stroking his exposed, cold cheek. quickly turning a deep pink as he mutters, "yeah.. of course." leaning in to his lips, giving him a quick peck as his stubble brushed up against your chin. hands traveling towards the towel covering the prominent bulge. grinding your hand rougher down onto it, you could feel the thick vein that ran within his cock.

you hated the barrier. needed it off. now. scooping your fingers over the edge before slowly sliding it off his body. glazing up at his face: turnt to the side, not wanting to make eye contact. grasping the under of his half hardened cock before planting a kiss right onto it.

a gasp could be heard from above you. running your thumb up to the tip, teasing it before eventually smearing precum over it. it was a sight you've barely been able to see. you loved it. joel's thighs shifted from the sudden touch.

"yeah? I know, baby." your other free hand caressing his leg. lowering yourself near his ankles to allow yourself more reach. "im gonna start moving my hand, just let me know if its too much, okay?" joel finally met your eyes, breathing out a 'yeah' as best as he could.

the side of your hand met his balls before pumping up and down slowly, earning you a quiet groan. his hands struggled from above him, trying to pull them from the posts but to no avail. "relax.. c'mon." movements growing faster each time; more aggressive. his hips involuntarily pushing up into your hand, thriving for more.

"fuckk..." a desperate wail from the man, his head limp to his shoulders. sensing him bottom out with every stroke provided to him. "cum for me, joel. c'mon, c'mon, baby. I know you can." the praise ringing in his ears as his eyebrows furrowed and his teeth clenched. your pace did not falter, hand working its magic. the last stroke you gave was rough, pushing his foreskin up to his reddened tip before a whitish transparent liquid flowed out of him in beads.

"good boy.. give me one more–" hand quickening once again in pace, collecting stranded semen as your fighers rushed to the top back down. his hands thrashed, back arching as a pained groan escaped his throat. "too much..?" your body climbing up to meet his pained face, hand not stopping once until he spoke otherwise. his eyes dropped down to your cleavage, unintentionally. the lingerie you had worn was tight, especially in your chest area.

joels eyes never left your tits, they slightly bounced with every thrust of your hand. "you want my tits? is that what you want, baby? give me another good load... and ill consider it.." his high was fast, not as strong but fast. holding back the urge to just break out of the cuffs and fuck you rough into the mattress. "jus' fucking let me have it, jesus-" his hands grinded into fists as he pulled at the cuffs. his patience was running low.

"no, no. one more." it erupted seconds later, once again. he looked exhausted, his cock still hard as a rock though. his whole tip was covered in a white. "as promised.."

you lifted the tight fabric from under your tits, squeezing his erection into the tight fit. he slid perfectly between your plush cleavage, his tip protruding from the top. pushing your boobs together more, he was in pure bliss. fucking himself into your chest, completely losing it. the cuffs clinged every time he thrusted into you. the scene was lewd, so very lewd. you loved every last bit of it.

his last orgasm was not as long again, but this time powerful. his last thrust ended with a very silent gasp for air. joel looked fucked out, his wrists bruising from the pressure on them. your tits plastered with cum, scooping some into your already cum covered hand before bringing it to your mouth.

suckling on it while finally having eye contact with him. although, through all that, you could tell the night was not over.

joel had many, many other plans with you, and they weren't you being on top this time..

happy valentines!!! here's a short simple fic for the day. if you find any mistakes, lmk!

[saturnskyline]

i was rewatching hospital scene, our beloved, and realized that for someone who lost everything, vegas actually won the most in the end. his father is dead, he is free from doing the job he hated, he has pete and macau, and a happy hospital ending. he can build a new life, read books, learn to cook and spend time with his family, and heal from the abuse.

meanwhile we have unhappy kim and chay, porsche who became everything he hated in some ways (he did found his mom and kinn at least), and as far from his beach bar dream as possible, kinn who is still just a chessboard piece (got porsche though) and not that happy about his job either if episode 6 tells us anything. so in the end "the villain" got the best outcome? kinnporsche is insane?

nonnie you are SO RIGHT. the way that vegas hits rock bottom and still sorta wins in the end?? very not normal about it 😭 i also really love the nuance of the ending overall. kinnporsche slaying as Mafia Boyfriends™, but ultimately trapped by korn (always emo about the beach bar.. just terrible), kimchay being miserable with their unresolved issues, despite being the couple that arguably has the least baggage (? i mean it's still a lot though) .... meanwhile beloved hospital family, dysfunctional as it is, gets to end on a pretty positive note! vegas is alive, for one, and as you pointed out, he has pete and macau and is free from his horrible father! so yeah, lots of unexpectedly good stuff going on there <333

now, obviously our dear family's situation isn't perfect - vegas still has to cope with his life being turned upside down, and while they're supposedly "out" of the mafia, it's hard to know what korn has planned for these three in the future. and sure, all of them have LOADS of trauma to work through, what with the torture and the abusive fathers, etc. but what i really love about the happy moments throughout the series is how they exist in spite of all the darkness. against all odds, these people have survived and gotten to spend, at the very least, a peaceful moment with each other. the "antagonist" of the story (if kinn is to be read as the "protagonist", that is) gets the chance to start anew with the people he loves most. and wow, isn't that just something?

one more thing, since i'm incapable of shutting up about this: i will never be over just how completely the show sold me on vegaspete. all the pieces just came together, and by the time we got to the finale, it was insane how cathartic and satisfying that hospital scene really was. so much has been said about this already, but i still can't believe the extent to which i fell in love with these freaks... and by that i mean occasionally disregarding the main couple (the literal name of the show????) in the second half of their arc and wanting to skip back to the deeply toxic, painful, walking-daddy-issues-in-a-trenchcoat pairing. (not like kp doesn't have any problems.. but c'mon lol.) anyway, i guess what i'm trying to say is that, while i never anticipated this, i'm really quite happy to be here 😅😅

[kerryweaverlesbian]

2023, cawis created...

Last year I made a post (which I cannot find) delighted to have published 81,932 words to Ao3 over 20 fics. This year I beat that with 111,227! 25 fics new last year! and that's not including poetry or things I only posted to tumblr! How wonderful!! I'm gonna do a little commentary on each of them (and I will thoughtfully put it below the cut because as I said there are 25. There is a "horny" section with some explicit quotes so just scroll past to the next heading if you don't want to see that lol.

Comedies I like to go hehehe hahaha

Stakes Aren't Just For Vampires Cas and Dean get high and silly "You're repulsive," Dean says by rote, and he isn't sure if he meant it to but it comes out cloying and sweet, like an affectionate nickname.

The first one I posted last year! It took me until March :0 I wrote this one. For maybe a slightly mean reason haha. I saw a fic where Cas did a bet for money and I was like ?? why would CAS care about getting money?? So I tried to think of a situation where he would make a bet and this one materialized!

Did you notice! I used the old reliable Rule Of Three to make the ending of Dean not sure if he said "I love you" or just thought it more potent? He thinks and then immediately says what he's thinking twice before: Cas is perfect/"You're perfect" - Dean wants to kiss him/"I want to kiss you" - and then: "I love you Cas," he thinks he says. I chose "1000 dollars" from the CBBC comedy sketch show Stupid sketch where 2 old ladies ask how much something costs and it's a normal amount and they mishear as "A thousand pounds?! You can't expect me to buy a bun for a thousand pounds. Shame on you!! I am taking my business ELSEWHERE!". The comments won't all be this long lmao (<- edit: she's wrong)

I'll Drink To That Sam and Dean both come out as bisexual at the same time late in life and they're both flabbergasted "What, do you think about how every friend we have would be in bed?"  Dean tips his head to the ceiling thoughtfully and Sam wants to melt into the floor.  "You're horrible. I hate you. I hate spending time with you." 

The SECOND one I posted last year!! I had to cut off a joke where it's suggested that Cas may have had sex with Jesus Christ (but it's very possible he's just messing with Dean) for the sake of flow. First fic I chatted with @homoangel about so I always think of him when I think of this fic <3

I'VE CRAWLED FURTHER INTO THE VCR Cas's dream of being vored by the VCR machine is finally realised Intricate, high effort collaboration, all for the relatively unimportant end of entertaining other humans for somewhere around an hour and a half. The entire enterprise amounts to making pleasing shapes and noises for each other. Fruitless. Pointless...To spend months, years even, producing something, the only purpose of which is to waste more time…the decadence was astounding. [horny]

Speaking of fics that make me think of my friends! Wrote this for dear @castielsprostate's 1k event. Get weird get wild!! He is THE teevee angel and I love him I love him I love him for it!!!!!!

Tragedies Auogh ouch ow ouchies. Hehe <3

The Aftermath Dean and Cas have sex. It was great. Dean can't let it happen again. "He wonders - and he shouldn't, but - he wonders if Cas will sit here again, later, feeling out the absences that Dean is going to leave behind."

The THIRD one I posted this year!!! I went directly from silly silly silly to "[Dean] is a practical man, always has been. If there's something behind you that would kill you to look at it, you just don't look at it.". I think this is one of my best (<- guy who is going to say this about most of her fics sajbfhsv. I wouldn't post them if I wasn't proud of them!!)

Time/Body Problem Cas and Dean make out in the car before Cas's date in Heaven Can't Wait. It doesn't change anything. he's all sensation now, mind-body-time melted together like carved figures on a wax candle.

I wrote this and Aftermath on the same day. I was THINKING about how Dean and Cas so so so often ALMOST have it. Dean, here, is enthralled by the idea that Cas is human now and could want him (although, Cas definitely also wants him as an angel lmao but this is what Dean thinks) but also put off by it. When they kiss, he sees Cas as angelic, with a streetlamp halo, able to melt time, but when Cas is walking away from him, he's just some human guy who, crucially, can't save Dean anymore. Cas had reliably been the guy who could blast into any dangerous situation and come out on top (hot) and while that's not the only thing Dean likes about him, it WAS such a relief for scaredboy dangerlife Dean to have a guy who makes things SAFE. And now he can't. So the risk of making their relationship deeper feels even greater. Perhaps it is a selfish thought for Dean to want Cas to be able to rescue him still, but they're both in such perilous positions. He's worried for Cas too.

Oh did yous get the title by the way? It's like the mind/body problem which is, 'is the mind separate from the body or are they completely inextricable'? 'If I think of something sad and start crying while I'm hormonal, is that feeling from by body or from my mind' is how I understand it, but I'm not a philosopher haha. So time/body problem is like, all three of: Does their relationship need human senses and physical touch in order to be meaningful? Does Castiel's new experience of linear time (aka not being an angel) change how he and Dean relate to each other? And also, the more straightforward, they don't have enough time. Not to say I thought all that when the phrase came into my head, it's just bc I knew the phrase mind/body problem and mind slant rhymes with time, but that's why I liked it enough to use as a title haha.

Smoke Breaks series Dean and Cas share cigarettes at different points in their lives. Cas trails off, taking another long pull. He's going to smoke the whole thing at this rate, rude and overindulgent. Dean doesn't begrudge him, neither the cigarette nor the silence. He knows what he means. 

Someone told me in the comments that reading the first one fit exactly into their actual smoke break I was like WOAH :0!!! Smoking is, unfortunately, really sexy.......I keep trying to think of a way to add another fic to make this thing end on a positive note but the theme of smoking thwarts that haha. Inherently, it is about doing something you know is unhealthy and grey and makes you feel worse, like hunting, like endverse Cas's relationship with endverse Dean, like coming back to see the lover you hurt when you can't touch them or change anything, but it's always bitter sweet because you sometimes get that burst of relief. (That's not a commentary on smokers, just on the theme of smoking as used by this series!)

The last one I think drives that home most bluntly, "No amount of talking is going to change anything." but they still hold on to each other. Also in the last one, I just wanted them to be in kind of miserable surroundings and decided on a weird, dank, alice in wonderland themed motel room, which is a) something interesting to describe when I need space between dialogue and b) the ill-advised freaky looking murals of half-humanoid Wonderland characters is a reflection of how Castiel feels - not human enough, not Other enough, twisted out of shape and c) it 'reflects' (I'm about to do a pun) their relationship has gone 'through the looking glass' (teehee) from the understood 'brothers in arms' to a strange, uncertain place where the rules have changed.

Shaking Out The Nest John gets frustrated by Dean asking to visit Sam at college. "I talk a lot of shit, but [Sam]'s always gonna be family. He's..." the only reason I'm alive, same as you, John can't quite get to come out of his mouth, so instead he repeats, "He's good."

In the demon plane episode where it's revealed that John would rave about Sam getting a full scholarship to Stanford. I think about it SO MUCH. John loved his kids but that didn't make him a suitable parent. I wanted to explore those complicated emotions and the thought patterns that might lead him to what he does. Like I don't think it's deliberately thought out scheming malice that makes him say things that make Dean feel worthless. But he only sees him as a kid when he "fails" at being an "adult" (as in, when Dean disagrees with him) and he thinks it's his job as a parent to tell Dean to knock that off. He wouldn't see his reframing of Sam leaving to "He left both of us because of his pettiness" as playing them off against each other, even though he IS, he'd see it as telling the hard truth and trusting his son to be a grown up about it. John is very emotional and parenting just via your own emotions rather than being able to step back and go 'am I being fair? is this a reasonable response to what's actually happening?' leads to situations like John blaming Dean for the Schtriga incident or saying he should 'rot in jail' for stealing peanut butter.

Horny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Close Zoom (too close) Dean and Cas make out for the first time while watching a movie. Cas gets overexcited. [Cas] replays the experience of holding Dean; the way his eyelids had fluttered shut with relief when their mouths first connected; the lean in by increments that ended with Dean on top of him....He wants to touch him. No, he amends the oft repeated thought, he wants to touch him again. 

I also wrote this inspired by going huh??? from another fic where they watch a movie together on a date on a first date and DON'T make out like. What are we doing here gang. If they are "watching a movie" and enjoy making out, then they ARE making out before the credits roll lmao. (In MY humble opinion!!!) Obviously chose The Mummy bc Dean's bisexual and I KNOW that man is showing Cas all his Formative To My Sexuality movies as a move to try and suss out what Cas's preferences are. The Lost Boys, Mr & Mrs Smith, Van Helsing, Labyrinth, Indiana Jones, Charlie's Angels, the list goes on.... Also my first installment with Cas having a bit of a pain kink (excited by the thought of a shock collar lol which I havvve been thinking about doing something more with.)

I have. by the way. a second work in progress where Cas gets wayyy more worked up than he was expecting and Dean is similar to here, slowing him down so it's not overwhelming, so look forward to it!!!!

Thunderstruck Cas has them struck by lightening while Dean sucks him off. HELL YEAH. Emanating from Castiel are intermittent bursts of white electric light, shocking across the black sky, sketching outlines of six invisible spread wings. That same light forms thin circular halos behind Cas’s head, some small, some so massive Dean can only see them in pieces. His eyes too - completely obscured by brilliant white light. He is radiant in all senses of the word. 

hehehehe. If your boyfriend can make it safe to be struck by lightening like you GOTTA do it just for the experience. I decided to have Dean not be like, blown away by it (but he is blown away by seeing a bit of trueform Cas) and instead find it just kind of weird but not bad to try and be true to life. sometimes you try something and don't love it or hate it and that's okay! Normal part of having sex. Sex is just another activity with lots of things you can do with it. That, and, it can't all be high points lol. That's why Cas is a little subdued when Dean says he only has 6 wings. peaks and valleys :)

The Feeling Is Enough Service top Dean :) "Cas - Cas, please...please can I come?" Cas doesn't say anything, just smiles up at him adoringly.

This one was bc @faithdeans lamented the lack of service top Dean destiel and I raced to his aid. Literally Dean would LOVE doing this.

Red Velvet Lines The Black Box Vampire!Dean sucking Cas's blood :) Cas is the only angel human enough to have workable blood.... And even if there were anyone else, Dean wouldn't want them. His is the only blood in Dean's veins.

This one was bc @domesticatedangel lamented the lack of vampire destiel smut and I raced to her aid. Castiel the rebel angel being horny over being given an order that he chooses to follow of his own volition? It's more likely than you think! The unmissable return of Castiel's pain kink lmao, even moreso in the second chapter. His penis! in peril!!!!!

The Girl Is Dead. Long Live The Woman. (Anna/Pamela*) Anna visits Pamela to find out what she wants and they have sex :) "I'm not used to - being part of things still. Being touchable. I didn't make the most of it, as a human. I didn't do enough. I was afraid. Embarrassed of my own feeling. I think I wasted my life."  "Be fair. You were a kid for most of it. You didn't know who you were." 

THIS one was because @honestlyhaunted lamented the lack of Pamela/Anna smut and I RACED to their aid. You may be noticing a theme. It's quite possible that if you sigh forlornly over a lack of erotica and I see it that something will be done about it. No promises though lol.

I tried to go for a more season 4 and 5 "everyone just fully states their unique moral philosophy out loud" vibe. And a "Pamela's disability actually affects her life in a practical way" vibe that the show itself elected to ignore. I DID get distracted a few times from my goal of "they have hot sex" because I got too invested in Anna's weird life. As I said in a comment response, Anna is the butterfly that wants to squash herself back into her cocoon. She went from being very emotionally present in her body as a human to having a very flat affect as an angel again (in part because she didn't feel the need to mask her autism anymore. Anna's autistic just like Cas and Hannah and people are not saying this!!!!). And, finally. I wanted a woman to have sex with a woman using a strap on because I hadn't done that yet LOL.

*If this ship was more prominent we could be calling it Pamelanna which is very fun to say.

The Dog, the Lamb and the Butcher Dean and Crowley are having sex during their summer of love and Cas is caught watching them >:3 Then again, fairness doesn't seem to be the watchword here. Dean's looking up at him with what could be adoration, but there's a wildness to him too, a sparkling mischief that undercuts any implied promise of loyalty.  "You like me, don't you Cas? You like me. Uhhn -" A groan born out of Crowley picking up the pace again, making Dean rock into the mattress, "You like me. You like me all the time, no matter what I do. You even like me now." 

Nobody asked for this I have no one to blame but myself. I love and adore the Dean who cannot speak his feelings no matter how much he wants to but there is always room in my heart for an overemotional Demon!Dean who says and does whatever he wants because he's lost the ability to care about the consequences. We could have had it alllllll.

Ask for it Cas caught casturbating by Dean. What happens next WON'T surprise you. His breathing is labored, and he's making quiet sounds of effort, which probably have something to do with the fact that his fingers are pushing in and out of the wet, open pussy between his legs. The pace doesn't slow at Dean's interruption, giving Dean ample time to absorb the image of Cas’s long fingers being swallowed to the last knuckle. 

I am asking here now. I am the one sighing forlornly. I don't CARE that there are already 232 accidental voyeurism destiel fics. MAKE MORE. SHOW ME MORE. SHOW ME MORE. I WANT TO READ MORE. MORE SHAMELESSLY SELF-PLEASURING CASTIEL AND/OR DEAN AND THEY DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL SCRIPT FOR THIS SITUATION SO THEY'RE JUST GOING ON INSTINCT AND THEIR INSTINCT IS TO BE CRAZY HORNY ABOUT IT. SHOW ME MORE!!!!!

Ahem. Or don't teehee. This was my most self indulgent smut (and that's really saying something!!!!). I highly recommend just fuckin going for it because it means I get to reread something all the time that is exactly suited to my tastes!! Hell yeah!!

Fluff :3 this is uwu-hat uwu've aww been uwu-ating fow :3

Pretty Wife Closeted to even himself genderqueer Dean inadvertently insists that he's Cas's wife. Neither of them are opposed! "I think I understand," Cas says, nodding to himself with his 'I got it' smile, "Yes. We are playing roles. I will 'take out the trash' while you 'sit there and look pretty'."

My kingdom for genderqueer dean. He's literally butch. Helloooo!!

Okay that's all for fluff. LOL. SORRY. I post most of my fluff directly to tumblr!!

Carefully Plotted!!! These are the big ones!!!!!!!! All three of these are "One of my best".

A Light Above Descending Cas gives Dean his Grace to calm his Mark of Cain rages. He assumes Dean doesn't remember what he tells him when he's being fed, so he allows himself to be kind. He assumes Dean would prefer that he quietly sacrifice his life for him. He assumes that he hasn't got any family left who love him. He's wrong. A rat gets what a rat gets, is the phrase that repeats in his head, although he can’t speak them over the pounding of his heart, a rat gets what a rat gets.

I have talked about this one at great length in my #cawis commentary tag so I will not reiterate here. Other than that I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so so proud of it and I love it so much.

The Voice In My Earpiece Thinks You're An Idiot (Jo/Bela) JoBela heist fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If anyone touches you again, I will cut off their fingers.” The fierce darkness of the promise plunges into Bela’s stomach, like a punch. Nobody has ever made her a promise like that before. Not one she believed, anyway.  “Do you believe me?” “That would -” Bela clears her throat, finding her voice croaky - “That would blow our cover.” “I don’t care.”  She means it. Bela remembers what Jo said when they properly introduced themselves - “I make a promise, I keep it.”. Stupid, it is, to throw away their plans over a few moments of discomfort. Ridiculous. Childish. “Do you believe me?” Jo repeats, and Bela nods, jerky, unpracticed. “Yes.” She takes a breath, then says again, “Yes.”

They get the biggest quote because theyyy mean so much to meeeee. I'll probably do another cawis commentary on this at some point bc there are too many things I did on purpose to say them all here. For now: when the woman who's learned to never trust anyone comes to trust the woman who's never felt trusted. And they banter and have hot lesbian sex. ROMANCE.

In Case of Emergency S1 Faith!Dean gets a new roommate at the hospital who's weird and intense and unexplainable things happen to him at night. I wonder who it could beeeee surely no one who's significant to Dean!!! (It's S5 Cas when he did the angel banishing sigil on his own chest) One of the machines on the other side starts going crazy with noise just as the curtain is cast back in a dramatic swish. The shadow of a man looms, sinister and ominously silent. He's watching Dean, but Dean can't do the same, his face impossible to make out. A red light flashes off kilter to his head from his monitors, and Dean gets the absurd thought that it looks like a knocked off halo. 

You know it you love it it's In Case Of Emergency. I just think. They DON'T have a supernatural soulmate connection but they just get on as people. If they met at any time in each other's lives for the very first time (aside from Godstiel lol) they would end up getting along! They click! They LIKE each other!

I thought a lot about the Sam role in this fic. If you have 3 people and 2 of them want something (to hang out all the time) then the 3rd person SHOULD be getting in the way of that (closing the curtain) for a believable reason (Dean needs to rest and stop tiring himself out with this random stranger!!!). Sam comparing Dean's imminent demise to Mary's death and Dean eventually asking what he'd want Mary to say to him (with the subtext; what can I say to make it better that I'm dying) made me cry as I wrote it and every time I reread it. It's making me cry NOW lol. augh fuck im rereading i'm crying. turns out. when you write exactly what touches you emotionally. you feel touched. emotionally. to read it.

Also this fic now makes me think of darling @forestofsprites bc they've left such wonderfully kind tags every time they've reblogged it :') ily

Misc I dunno. These don't fit in the other categories lol.

6th Life's The Charm! Sarah Blake/Bela Meow!!!!! Sarah gets a mysterious commission to find a painting, and a strangely perceptive cat follows her home the same day. But those can't possibly be connected I'm sure. Smiling with her eyes closed, Sarah puts a hand on B's back and touches. Skin.  She startles awake and jerks her hand away. By the embers of the fire, she can see the woman lying on top of her....The woman is watching her, smiling, and her pupils are strange. They creep a little too far into her irises. She's also the most beautiful woman Sarah has ever seen. Stunning, in both senses of the word.  "No questions?" The woman asks eventually, as Sarah's silent stare ticks on. Her tone is a) British and b) faintly mocking, like she knows something Sarah doesn't. 

Little turned into a kitty cat romcom!! I do fun little asides in footnote format! Middle aged yaoi ummmm but what about middle aged YURI??? Sarah references Sex in the City and is having a midlife crisis what more do you want from me!!! I did want to have a little moment of Sarah saying "sorry about the collar attempt" and Bela flirtily going "hmm, I think it'd look better on you" and Sarah spontaneously combusting but it didn't quite flow. Maybe in the horny sequel I kinda want to write...

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello, Sun In My Face Cas realises he's in love with Dean. The natural thing to do is to tell him right away. "Don't," Dean pleads, and it's not clear whether he means don't love me or don't tell me. Either way, Cas is going to let him down.  "I love you," Cas repeats, firmly, "I have loved you. I will love you. That's all."

Too angsty for the fluff section, too sweet for the tragedies. What are you. As may be clear from previous works, in MY world, Dean and Cas platonically sleep together every night and snuggle the whole time :3 even if it's a world where they're aromantic I firmly believe this would be the case. When I say platonic I am not saying it with a wink and a nudge, as a few scattered comments seem to suggest they think. But also in this one they are also romantically in love haha.

How Do You Go From Wanting To Having? When Cas stumbles back to life after escaping from the Empty, Dean can't speak the words in his heart. But he can write them. You can have it, and variations thereupon: You can have it, damn it; could have fucking taken me, asshole; what do you think is supposed to make me happy now, you arrogant, stupid son of a bitch?

I don't know if I made the most of this premise lol but I had fun building the evidence of grief into the Bunker. They pushed a heavy object in front of the door to the dungeon so they didn't have to see it, Dean filled his room with lights so he didn't have to be in the dark (a general post-canon headcanon of mine that both Dean and Cas have lamps on all night), Dean's stiff position during his nightmare. Little clues that Cas does NOT pick up on bless his heart.

This Is A Love That Lasts Forever It's about Claire giving Cas a haircut. It's about grief. It's about love. Cas remembers - though he shouldn't, ethically - sending Claire for a time out for saying the word 'damn' when she was 6, though she surely couldn't have known what it meant. Swinging her hand on the way to church on Sundays. Clapping for her awkward turn at playing Mary in the Christmas Nativity. Loving Claire had only deepened Jimmy's love of God, and this was the love that Castiel had taken advantage of. He doesn't deserve even a moment of Claire’s forgiveness. 

Last one! I uploaded this on the 29th of December but it ISSSSSS absolutely 1000% one of my best. Cas and Claire's relationship in canon is so WEIRD. One doesn't typically accept grumpy cats from the guy wearing your dad's corpse as a skin suit??? Even if he's kind of nice to you?? So this is my way of figuring out how to make it make sense. She can't ditch Cas because that's where all her dad's love is stored and nobody else in her life knows her dad anymore. And they both have to try and make that work.

I had a different ending in mind for a little while - Claire completing the haircut and then going oh my god. now you don't look like my dad anymore. what have I done now I won't remember him I'm so stupid!!! put it back how it was!! and Cas is like um I can't do that though I'm low on Grace and Claire cries herself out about it and they talk about having to get used to new, unfamiliar circumstances. But I like what I went with more (obviously. because I wrote it lol).

Little headcanons that I carried across from other works: - Claire will allow Donna to be as cutesy and affectionate as she likes and Donna calls her "Claire-bear" and nobody can figure out why it's a shy little happy smile when Donna pats her cheek and beams at her and she would kill anyone else who tried it with her laser eyes. I do though, I know why. It's bc of Donna's easy open affection that genuinely isn't trying to hide anything. Claire knows Donna isn't faking it because Donna is kind to everything and everyone. She would have a harder time with Garth though even though Donna and Garth are very similar in this regard, just because. Well. The girl has been traumatized and betrayed by so many "nice" men. God how did I get onto this. Donna is the mom/aunty figure Claire has needed for a long time. I talk about this in Growing A New Half Soul - Angel's were never children I talk about in A Light Above Descending.

THE END.

If you've read this. Are you sure you didn't have anything better to do with your time avhsbv but thank you!!! Go follow all the friends I've @'d because then they might do follower events and I might write more things as a result!!!! Also go and write some dean walking in on cas masturbating fic and then send it to me.

My challenge for you is to think about women falling in love with other women. Wow, beautiful, right? And also to think of ONE thing you did that you are proud of this year. Even and in fact especially if it's something you're not "supposed" to be proud of. Did you find something new you liked. Were you kind to someone. Were you kind to yourself when you didn't have to be. All these and more are things to take pride in.

I, for one, am proud of having written 111,227 words of complete short fiction!!!!! So much so that I wrote another 4936 words talking about them here :)

[lollytea]

Okay highly specific and idk if you even have any thoughts on it BUT ☕ on the Boscha/Amity dynamic in FTF? I literally had no significant thoughts on Boscha til this ep. Now I'm kinda into whatever toxic thing she's got going on with Amity. Heathcliffian in nature, almost. But what's your two cents, if you have em to spare?

I've never really had any strong opinions on Boscha. Like I know a ton of people absolutely loathe her but I can't even grant her those feelings. I can never really drum up too much animosity towards teen characters. She's just a kid. Kids suck sometimes. Sometimes they grow up and they learn and they become better people and sometimes they just get worse. I'm not gonna make any assumptions about which category Boscha will fall into because she's still too young to be certain.

I think it's kinda funny how the writers clearly gave her a deep underlying complex but never bothered to elaborate on it. Like the opening of WILW where she's like "You can be hated. So long as you are feared." Girl??? Can we like...get an update on this kid's home life? Why is this her mindset? Where is this coming from? Where are her moms??

During the time she and Amity were friends, the latter was also deeply depressed and had a horrible home life. So I wouldn't be surprised if she and Boscha had one of those sapphic toxic co-dependent teenage bonds. (We've all had them.) Like there's no escape to this life. Things won't get better. But at least they can stew in their own cynicism together. They help each other gain some semblance of control over their own lives by clawing their way up the Hexside hierarchy, with Amity being top student and Boscha being grudgby captain. Just a pair of fucked up and lonely girls just trying to pretend they're not fucked up and lonely.

I feel like, at some point, Amity even found solace in Boscha's company. When she was younger and more immature and was led to believe that actual positive mutually uplifting friendships were only for kids (bye Willow) so she desperately leans into what she has. What they had with each other may have been their only real connection. Early episodes definitely give the impression that their friendships with the likes of Skara and co. were rather superficial, with Boscha acting rather dismissively towards anyone who wasn't Amity. I'm sure they saw all the vulnerability and ugliness in each other that nobody else saw. I'm sure Boscha got unhealthily attached because Amity was really all she had and she didn't have any experience with an actual constructive relationship with anyone her own age to understand that she and Amity were bad for each other.

But Amity was clearly worn down. This relationship was exhausting. It leeched away at her. She was complacent in all the bullying because she didn't see the point in even trying to discourage it, other than half-hearted chiding every now and again. In her own words, there was no reasoning with Boscha.

And then Amity opened her eyes and realized that this fucking sucked. You see her gradually detaching herself from Boscha throughout season 1 which results in her completely cutting ties in WILW, much to Boscha's disgust.

Tbh I feel like Boscha's gotten pretty funny since then, though she's been barely present. I enjoyed her in ASIAS cuz she was just so pathetic. Literally just third wheeling lumity, neither of them give two shits about her existence but she just refuses to exit the scene. We love girlosers.

But yeah I really did dig her in FTF. It's definitely the most insight we've gotten into her character since her debut. I didn't exactly need Boscha character development to live cuz like. I don't care about her. But I guess if they're gonna include her at all, at least they didn't keep her stagnant.

She's clearly traumatized by the fact that her team essentially "died" (as far as she knows) protecting her and she's never experienced such a heavy emotion before. She doesn't know how to handle it. She pushes it down. She lashes out. And Kikimora has just made her a million times worse. No wonder she begged for Amity to come back. She's unstable and scared and wants to cling to some fantasy that this will all be okay. And she feels like if she just has her friend back, that can be a possibility.

I like how Amity dealt with her in this episode, as a contrast to how Willow did. Willow was perfectly within her right to be furious with Boscha, considering she's nothing but her former bully who's given her so many emotional scars. But Amity approached her with an appeal rather than a fight. Because Boscha is Amity's former friend. She knows things about her that Willow doesn't. And no matter how awful their relationship has gotten, she doesn't want to see her former friend as the villain of this story.

"There's no reasoning with Boscha." She said two season ago. And then she DID!!! It really speaks volumes about how much Amity has developed from an emotionally exhausted enabler to a proactive outspoken girl who's willing to give everyone a shot to prove themselves, the way Luz did for her.

Anyway I think Boscha has completely burned all her bridges and has no hope of rekindle her old friendship. That's a consequence she'll have to live with for the way she's behaved. Plus, she and Amity just....don't mix well anymore. Some people are destined to come into your life for a time and keep you standing upright but they're not lifelong friends. I could see them as like...acquaintances maybe? Maybe theyll grow up and have kids and be on the PTA together. Maybe. But I can't see them as ever being true friends again.

Some people say that Boscha's actions at the end of FTF was a "rushed redemption arc" though I disagree. It wasn't a redemption at all. It was simply an acknowledgement that Boscha is not the devil incarnate. She's a kid. All she wants is to have a normal life and play Flyer Derby. So she's taking the necessary actions to get that future for herself. It opens up the possibility that Boscha could be a good person. Someday. She's not there yet. But someday. Maybe.

[showtoonzfan]

Ok so initially I didn't want to make this ask because your blog doesn't allow anon, but I really need to get all these thoughts about the newest helluva boss episode out. This is gonna be very long and may be a bit confusing as I have a lot to say and English isn't my first language, so sorry about that

First of all I must say that I'm quite disappointed about this episode. I half expected it to be a continuation of the season 1 finale where Stolas would confront Blitzo about their relationship, reveal the purpose of the Asmodean crystal, tell Octavia the truth about his and Stella's marriage... basically get it all over with. But when I looked at the thumbnail, I saw that this was going to be about Octavia and Loona, not their parents. And you know what? I was ecstatic that it was! Those two are my favorite characters, plus I think we need a break from the Stolitz storyline to focus on something else, keeping things fresh y'know?

So why was I disappointed? It because the episode ended up revolving around Stolitz anyway, yet somehow their story didn't gain an inch of progress. It seems that the show's writers forgot half-way through that they were supposed to focus on Via and Loona and tried to messily jam the plots of previous episodes into this one. The result was a rushed episode with no focus on any character whatsoever. It started out with we have to find Via because she could be in danger, but suddenly it switched to watching Blitzo pretending to be a good comedic actor, and then we have to see how obsessed Moxxie is with art... In the end we only get a little information about Loona's past, see a tiny bit of Via and Loona's relationship, and see how Stolas and Blitzo interact with each other after the events of the finale

Speaking about Stolitz, I don't know why the hell they act that way the entire episode. Aren't they and their relationship supposed to be at their lowest point? Did they just... conveniently forget about their first "date"?? Or pretend nothing happened??? Why did Stolas act all lovey dovey towards Blitzo when he realized that their relationship was "full of comfortable lies" just a few episodes back? Why didn't Blitzo try to stop him if the idea of Stolas being seriously in love with him was unthinkable? Why didn't both of them show any awkwardness or discomfort when being with each other if their last time hanging out was so disastrous??? Even if they're focusing on finding Via (and then got distracted anyway), the fear and worries of loosing her shouldn't interfere that much with the state of their relationship, and it definitely shouldn't be a miracle that magically bring them back together

Now let's talk about Via and how weirdly forgiving she is towards her dad. Despite Stolas' shitty parenting and him repeatedly hurting her emotionally, she keeps forgiving him for seemingly no reason. But I think there is a reason. I don't know if the writers intend to write her like this, but it looks like Via only forgives Stolas so that he won't leave her. Think about it, Via has had abandonment issues since she was little, and it's hinted that only Stolas cares enough to be with her and comfort her. This could lead to her forming a codependent relationship with him, and this episode kinda proved it with how she just happily watch the fireworks with Stolas after a whole day feeling angry, frustrated and hurt that he "hate(s) [Stella] more than he loves [her]". It also proved that while he does try his best and is better than Stella at parenting, he's still an awful dad and I don't think Via would ever be trully happy with him

Oh and that little speech Loona gave Via about how they both should cut their father figures some slack? I hate it. As someone who grew up with horrible and abusive parents who do care and do love me, I have to remind myself constantly that they are still abusers and what they did to me and my sister is wrong, even when they didn't mean it or didn't know better. Their lack of parenting skills and issues are explanations as to why they fucked up, but not excuses for them to get away with it. And while it's best for abuse victims to eventually forgive their abusers, they should only do that as a way to move on and absolutely not to (re)gain the abusers' affection. But considering that both Loona and Via depend on their dads, plus how Loona is stuck feeling grateful that Blitzo adopted her and is the first person in her life to care and love her, they're not gonna learn this lesson any time soon. I also have a feeling they won't get much development once the Stolitz story is done

Overall, this episode is... bad comparing to all others. To me it's probably the worst so far. For the first time ever I didn't get a satisfying feeling after watching helluva boss and it was thank to this episode. I'm a bit worry for the show's future now, I mean I know it has problems with inconsistency since the middle of season 1 but this has to be the worst case. I'd still watch it, I just don't think I can enjoy it as much as before

Never feel bad about ranting to me guys, I mean look at MY posts, they’re like….essay style long lol, I love hearing y’all out! 💕

And yeah, I agree with everything you said. I’m ganna say it now, this has got to be one of the worst episodes of the series ever. Like I didn’t think we could stoop lower than the Cherub episode and Ozzie’s (in my opinion) but HERE WE ARE lol. As for the writing as a whole, I’d say I hope the show gets better, but I really don’t know. I’m so tired of this show doing certain characters dirty, and only obsessing over this dumb toxic ship. To me personally, every time an episode releases I feel like we scale further and further down the hole, but I’m not going to say there’s 0 hope. It’s up to you as the viewer wether you’re going to keep watching or not, but yeah this episode was….not written well. I had some hope for Adam Neylan, but now that I know he wrote this episode, my faith is ruined, which I know is petty but it’s the truth.

[ghoulangerlee]

this is something completely separate to Necropolis, because in this one Copia isn't the one struggling with coming back, but it's Sunshine and Rain struggling with Copia being back.

not a full fic (hopefully) just some thoughts and bits and pieces and overall Copia being patient with the two of them. I adore Sunshine and Rain so much and the potential (in my mind) as the first and last ghoul summoned... (this is my hc for it haha)

tw for this is main character death/described murder but that's about it :) hurt/comfort little scene where Copia loves his two ghouls.

They haven't left his side since he came back, at all times they're there. Waiting by his bed while a group of nurses and assorted ghouls make sure his stitches are healing properly, make sure there are no sort of irregularities with his reanimation.

There isn't, and when he finally gets the clear and the nurses and assorted ghouls clear out, he breathes a deep sigh of relief that pulls a brief wince to his face at the way his lungs suddenly fill with air.

When he looks over at his two ghouls, he feels a twinge of sadness, something sorrowful tugging at his bonds with them—that had come back too, thankfully, no need to rebond and risk hurting the two of them more; it had just woken up only a few moments after his own eyes had opened, snapping into place and rushing over him like fire and ice fighting for their place.

He goes to sit up properly, the latest round of testing had left him half reclined in a position that wasn't too kind on his lower back, and both Rain and Sunshine rush over to him suddenly, their hands were gentle and part of him was grateful for their help, but something about it felt wrong, as they helped him sit up properly, Rain's hands leaving him to tuck his pillows behind his back.

It's a bit strange then, as they both seem to flinch back and come to parade rest at each side of his bed, like they're being too familiar, like they're scared of him.

He doesn't like it—neither of them have removed their helmets since the room had cleared out, despite the three of them being together in the privacy of the papal suite where no one else would disturb them.

"My ghouls," he says, warm and gentle, a careful offering of all his cards packed within two words, "No one else should bother us now," he continues, reaching down to pat the bed with his bare hand, "Come and sit by me, it seems there are things we need to discuss."

It's not an order, but with the way both Sunshine and Rain act, it's as if he ordered them to sit by him or their death would be called for instead—he hates it, the way their bodies seem to move unnaturally as they try and settle on each side of the bed, as close to the edge as possible.

He aches, wants the two of them closer, he knows his death had affected everyone, he knew that's why he was brought back; his death had been premature and uncalled for and he already had the others looking into it, trying to find as many leads as possible, for their death would be much more drawn out, less of a mercy than he had been allowed. (A knife to his throat, a horrible horrible mimicry of before. He'd bled out, dying slowly in the basement, while he clawed at the ground and tried to weakly pull on his ghouls' bonds.)

"Thank you for saving me," Copia says, for the first time, looking between Rain and Sunshine, "For bringing me back." He reaches out, carefully, towards Rain and takes his hand, feeling the water ghoul jump at his touch, "I heard that with your quick thinking you were able to find a spell that could restore my soul to my corporeal form," he squeezes Rain's hand and through that he can feel him shake.

He keeps his hand in Rain's as he looks over at Sunshine, staring through the lenses of her helmet, copper eyes brightly burning even through the darkened glass, "And you, my lovely," he says, holding his hand out, nearly wincing when Sunshine grips his hand so tightly the blood flow is cut off, "You did so well, helping Rain, keeping me safe," he squeezes her hand back, even through the tightness of her grip, "I am forever grateful to have you two by my side."

Neither of them react much beyond just looking at him, and he knows, and understands, he must be patient with them, careful. He'd heard before of what had happened to previous ghouls, the madness when their summoner had passed on, he thinks back to Omega and Ifrit and even Mist had experienced a touch of the madness after his predecessors' deaths.

He couldn't imagine how his miraculous reanimation would affect any of it.

"Please, take your helmets off, just for me. I know..." He trails off, wonders if even asking this of them is something he can do, but they're the only two he hasn't been able to see, to make sure they're alright, "I won't order it of you, but, if you want to now. Just around me, I want to see your faces, I want to make sure you're alright."

There's silence, and it's thick and heavy, but he waits, ever patient, and slowly, Rain pulls his hand away from Copia's, bows his head and slowly removes his helmet.

His hair is messy, shaggy and hanging somewhat limply around his ears, and he has dark circles under his eyes—he looks tired, and Copia's heart aches for him, longs to bring him into his arms and hold him.

The bed shifts and Sunshine's next to pull away, her movements clumsy as she removes her own helmet, the sharpness of her gaze, the distrust, makes Copia wish he could turn back time and be better prepared. Be more aware.

His death was no one's fault but the person who had called for it, but he'd never considered in the past what that would mean for his ghouls. How they would handle it. And for that, he was guilty. He would do better. He would be more aware of his surroundings. Be more careful with those he befriends.

He reaches his hands out once again, one to each of them, "I have one more ask of you, tonight," he starts carefully, waiting for them to place their hands in his, and then he tugs them carefully, closer, projecting through the bond an image of before his death, late at night, the three of them curled up together in this very bed. Rain and Sunshine purring as Copia held the two of them close.

Sunshine makes a noise, somewhat of a snarl, a choked off sob and when Copia looks over at her, she's got tears in her eyes, holding steady but threatening to fall.

"Oh Sunshine," he whispers her name, sweetly, "Come to me, my Sunshine, you've kept me safe, let me hold you now," he murmurs, giving her hand one last gentle tug before she folds, nearly throwing herself onto the bed beside him, her arm around him as she clings to him tightly.

Rain is watching them, guarded and careful, pain in his eyes, pain shining through the bond, and Copia pulls him in slowly, "I'm right here, Rain," he says softly, guiding Rain down beside him, letting the water ghoul press his face into his throat as he curls an arm around his shoulders, cradling him close.

"Oh, my loves, I never wished for my coming back to hurt the two of you this much." He whispers after a few moments, "If me coming back hurt you this much, I only wish my death could have given you more closure."

There's a snarl, twin angry sounds that echo in the quiet room, and Rain is the first to lift his head, glaring down at Copia with, "Your death would have destroyed us," he says with such a strong conviction that Copia feels faint suddenly, pulling Rain back down into his embrace as he murmurs apologies into his hair.