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#me when I see a gay customer:
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I wish I could wear a pin with the trans flag at work or something because I feel so bad when I see a fellow transexual (or fellow queer in general really) and I stare at them cuz I wanna send brain waves like, "ME TOOOOO" but then I realize I just look like an asshole
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girlyliondragon · 1 year
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This pic is getting a LOT of layers onto it and Sai2's memory usage is screaming at me to chill so I'm doing a personal private thing that's much smaller.
When will you see the eventual gay shit?
Easy!
In June! :''''D /hj
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incorrectbatfam · 7 months
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Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...
[at a sleepover]
Damian, whispering: Jon?
Jon: Yeah?
Damian: Our planet is doomed.
Jon: Yeah, it is.
Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?
Damian: Sure.
———————
Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.
Jon: *secretly starts recording*
Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.
Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.
Margie: And who do you think you are?
Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.
Jon: Say hi to the internet!
———————
Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*
Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?
Damian: Advertising our joint channel.
Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.
Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.
Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*
Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.
———————
Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*
Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.
Damian, typing code: Good idea.
Barbara: What's that?
Jon: Our new website.
Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.
Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.
———————
Kara: What do you want to drink?
Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?
Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?
Kara: *starts typing into Google*
Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?
———————
[texting]
Jon: Dami, get on Discord.
Damian: Why?
Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.
———————
Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!
Selina: What is it?
Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.
Selina: Show me.
———————
Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.
Damian and Jon: *snicker*
Kate: What?
Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...
Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.
———————
Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*
Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.
Dick: What's a BeReal?
———————
Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.
Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.
Lois: What are you doing?
Jon: We're playing Society.
———————
Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.
Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*
Jon: Huh?
Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.
Damian: I think he meant this.
Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*
———————
Jon: Parkour!
Jon: *hops over a log*
Jon: Parkour!
Jon: *climbs a tree*
Damian: *recording*
Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.
Bruce: Mhm.
Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?
Jon: Parkou—
Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.
Jon: I have an app that can scan it.
Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.
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steddieas-shegoes · 8 months
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When Eddie is introduced to Jonathan, they both give each other a look that says “if you say anything, you’re dead” and naturally, Nancy clocks it immediately.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” they said at the same time, only growing the suspicion.
“Seriously? Do you know each other already?”
“No!”
“Yes, but-“
They glare at each other, but Eddie speaks up again.
“He bought from me a couple times. No big deal.”
Nancy looks between them, shakes her head. “There’s something else going on. But we’ve got bigger problems.”
And they did.
For months, their problems seemed to get worse by the day. It was a great distraction.
But honestly, anytime Eddie spent more time with Jonathan, it got harder not to say how they actually knew each other: a make out session in a bathroom at a party when Jonathan was yearning for Nancy.
He told Steve eventually, had to with the way he kept finding ways to avoid being around Jonathan and Steve got suspicious.
“If he said something to you about us, I’ll take care of it. He doesn’t get to say shit about what makes us happy.”
And Eddie couldn’t have Steve lose another fight, so he told him.
“So wait. You and Jonathan…”
“Made out. Yes.”
“Like…with tongue?”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I remember tongue being involved.”
“And hands?”
“They were there too.”
Steve puts his hands on his hips, lifts one to wipe over his face, then settles it back on his hip. “And you liked it?”
“Considering at the time my options were Jonathan or the girl in Hellfire who insisted I wasn’t gay because I looked at her during campaigns, yeah. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve been through.”
Steve huffed. “Yeah, but like. Compared to me-“
“Oh my god.”
“What?!”
“I cannot believe you’re jealous of Jonathan Byers. Again.”
“I’m not! I’ve never-“
Eddie raised his brows. “Never? Not once?”
“That was different!”
“That was worse.”
“I dunno, finding out your boyfriend has made out with the only other guy in Hawkins who’d be up for it is arguably worse.”
Steve pouted for hours. Eddie let him.
It was cute, alright?
And when he got over it, they made out for hours in his bed.
Steve, of course, was the one who told Nancy.
In his defense, he was very high, and Nancy had been pushing him all night, from the moment she caught wind that he might know how they knew each other.
Eddie went inside to grab them all water, and she pounced.
By the time Eddie got back, Steve was half asleep and Nancy was smirking at Eddie.
“You could’ve just said.”
“He’s never getting high for free again.”
“He’s your boyfriend.”
“He’s back to being a paying customer, too.”
Nancy laughed, startling Steve into opening his eyes. He smiled up at Eddie, no clue he’d just given up one of their secrets.
“Hi, baby. You know Nancy didn’t know about you and Jonathan?”
Eddie glanced over to see Nancy rolling on her side, laughing hysterically.
“Yeah. I’m sure that was on purpose. How about we get you to bed, superstar?”
He managed to get Steve onto the couch, where he immediately passed out.
Nancy hugged him, kissed his cheek, like she always did before leaving.
“It’s not a big deal, you know. He’s mentioned that he isn’t only into women. We’ve talked a lot about the Argyle situation.” She walked towards the door. “Steve will get over the jealousy eventually. It’s not like Jonathan wouldn’t have made out with him if he could have.”
She left before Eddie could respond.
Eddie suddenly understood exactly what Steve was feeling.
“Not gonna happen,” he mumbled to himself before joining Steve on the couch and pulling him close.
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isaacthedruid · 1 year
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(spoilers for the Barbie movie)
As a trans-masc non-binary person, I saw myself in Allan. I’m a boy but not a Ken, I'm Ken-like but not quite.
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Allan’s role of being awkward, unsure and a little out of his element but still trying to help the Barbies through the chaos and events caused by the Kens, is how I feel as a trans-masc person who is still trying to advocate for women and discuss the issues they face.
I don't identify as a woman anymore but I still grew up as a girl, I lived as a young woman for 14 years, and people continue to be misogynistic towards me when they think I am one-- customers will talk to my male coworkers instead of me, when I’m the person with the answers
I wasn’t expecting to see myself, in terms of gender, in the character often described as Ken’s boyfriend, though it is said in a more playful, joking way rather than any attempt at representation. I’m gay and this version of Allan is definitely queer as well. Yet, that’s a separate story which has already been written, here’s an excellent article about that. [LINK]
Allan isn’t Ken, and he isn’t Barbie either. Allan is simply Allan, an idea with both masc and femme traits. He doesn’t fit into anything specific, he just is. Allan can wear Ken’s clothes but also Barbie’s pink jumpsuit-- but when he's not doing that undercover mission with the Barbies, we only ever see him wearing his own clothes. A set of clothes worn only by him, that iconic striped outfit that is signature to the real Allan doll.
Additionally, notice the horse patch on the front of his shirt, he never changed his clothes unlike the rest of the Kens when they discovered the patriarchy and a new version of masculinity, a toxic and destructive one. Allan only added something to his clothes to “fit in” or act as if he did, but he hated what the Kens did to Barbieland. He also wasn't brainwashed and never acted upon those destructive abilities that were laid out for him. He could've just joined the Kens and broke stuff and drank copious amounts of "brewskis" but he didn't.
Allan is different and it's constantly stated, "there's only one Allan" in this world of Kens (and Barbies).
I will never be Ken nor will I ever be a Barbie again, I’m not happy in either. I’ve tried both, neither is my style (or title). I wear Ken’s clothes as well as Barbie’s, and sometimes I wear Allan’s.
But, I like Allan’s clothes best, they fit me well.
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nvirskies · 8 months
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it's getting hot in here - c. la rue
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warnings: reader is like half-naked? just no shirt on is all but reader is wearing a sports bra, nothing sexual just like a tad suggestive?, clarisse is a gay mess, kinda ooc clarisse, i know next to nothing about blacksmithing please hang in there with me, fem reader, no use of y/n, self-conscious reader, not beta read
summary: clarisse goes to pick up a custom order dagger from the forge when she's met with an unexpected sight.
hephaestus!daughter!reader x clarisse la rue
word count: 1.3k
taglist: @lvrue @azrielsdiary @b0ok-lover @star-girl69 @petitegavotte
from this post !
a/n: tbh might make this a multi part thing, at least a second part. also, so sorry this took so long to finish- i got sidetracked with a couple other things irl. hope you enjoy! men, nsfw, non-sapphics, 16- / 19+ dni
It was no secret the kids of Cabin 9 ran a side business to make some extra cash. It was pretty lucrative, given that there would always be a line of demigods waiting to have their weapon(s) of choice customized. Custom engravings, patterns cast into handles, ergonomic handpiece add-ons, and so much more. Name it, and it would be done for the right price, forged with impeccable quality.
And that was how Clarisse La Rue found herself heading to the forge just east of the strawberry fields with a thin paper in one hand and a small bag of golden drachmas in the other. The edges of the slip were just barely singed, and the writing on it looked nearly incomprehensible to many eyes, scribbled notes of her order confirmation and gods only knew what else. It didn’t matter to her, she just needed it to get her dagger and go.
Crowds parted for her like the Red Sea, once-lively conversations coming to a grinding halt as she walked straight through crowds and groups with nothing more than a glare and a sharp look in any general direction. 
In no time at all, the familiar sounds of machinery clanking, fire hissing and crackling, and hammers striking metal filled the air. It was the forge, the singular place where one could guarantee there would be at least one child of Hephaestus in there at all hours of the day. 
She pushed open the heavy metal door, swinging it wide open soundlessly despite its obvious weight. And what a sight she was greeted with. You were there alone, hunched over a piece of blisteringly hot metal, pounding away at it with a hammer in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other.
Something about you entranced her. 
She didn’t know if it was the way your hair was pulled into a low ponytail, some loose strands clinging to the sides of your face, the way you subconsciously bit your lip as you focused completely on the red-hot metal in front of you. Or perhaps, it was the way your muscles rippled in the dim firelight as you struck the metal again and again, a thin sheen of sweat covering the exposed portions of your skin from both the heat and the exertion. 
Maybe it was a combination or something else entirely. 
As she gazed at you, a light blush dusted her cheeks as she came to the realization that you weren’t wearing much while working. The heat of the forge had led you to forgo wearing a shirt entirely, said shirt reduced to a tiny, crumpled gray bundle of fabric in the corner of the room. You were left wearing a sports bra, dusted with ash and soot and a pair of baggy sweatpants resting just above your hips.
It wasn’t as if Clarisse had never seen people dressed in less before. Hell, she’d seen her own fair amount of skin for various reasons. But this time, it seemed different. The slip of paper and bag of coins in her hands were forgotten momentarily as she simply stared at you from the doorway.
The way the dim light of the roaring furnace illuminated you from behind gave you an almost ethereal glow, the edges of the flames flickering around your moving silhouette. 
She could see the muscles in your arm and shoulder tensing and relaxing with every ever-so-precise swing of the hammer, and she found herself silently watching you work from the doorway. 
Ultimately, it was the soft clinking coming from the bag of drachmas Clarisse held in her hand that drew your attention away from the project in front of you. Your head snapped up, tense and a tad startled from the sudden sound, having been so zoned into your work that you hadn’t noticed her presence. 
The hammer in your hand dropped to the metal workbench with a loud clang, the sound reverberating throughout the forge, ripping Clarisse from the glossed-over, hazy look in her eyes as she watched you move just moments ago, having been completely and utterly under your spell.
“Shit-!” you exclaimed, jumping slightly and wincing at the harsh sound, eyes widening further as you’re greeted with the sight of a Clarisse who seemed far too casual compared to how she normally treated campers, especially given her outward distaste towards children of Hephaestus. 
And all of a sudden, you’re all too aware of your lack of a shirt and your cheeks flare with an embarrassed bright red flush.
Flushed the same color as the heated metal in front of you, Clarisse noted absentmindedly. It wasn’t a look she didn’t like. But of course, she would never admit that. The big, bad Clarisse La Rue flustered over something as insignificant as muscles on a girl? Impossible.
Her attention is drawn back to you, observing as you scurry to the other side of the room to grab your stashed-away shirt, slipping the loose grey fabric over your body, any and all views of the muscles she had seen just moments prior completely disappearing in a matter of seconds.
After having taken a few calming breaths, you steeled yourself for a barrage of snarky remarks that you were sure would come spewing out of the Ares cabin counselor’s mouth like acid out of the myrmeke’s mouths, but they never came.
Instead, you’re greeted with the sight of a Clarisse who seemed to be a bit flustered? Her eyes didn’t meet yours for a moment before she straightened herself out. Before your very eyes, you watched her cool and collected facade slip over her like a mask, and that trademark smirk of hers tugged at the corners of her lips.
“I’m here to pick up an order, under my name,” she remarks, holding up the bag of drachmas and thin slip of paper in an outstretched hand. Her gaze seemed like it was scrutinizing everything about your appearance from the baggy grey shirt that hung loosely over your frame to the soot just barely smudged on your forehead. Whether it was a good or bad look you had no idea, subconsciously shrinking into the shadows of the dimly lit forge.
“Right, right, La Rue…” you trail off nervously, scanning the room for the rack that held completed orders and leafing through the tags attached to each object. “La Rue, La Rue, La Rue, where is it-?” you muse to yourself, repeating her last name in a hushed tone until the sight of it comes into view. The dagger she had ordered was at the edge of the table, with the request for a heavyweight handle and an etching of her initials into the butt of it.
Normally, Clarisse would have found your behavior annoying if it were coming from anyone else, but oddly enough, she quite liked the way her last name rolled off your tongue. It felt almost natural, too natural. Quickly, she brushed away the lingering thoughts about how you had looked almost god-like with the flame from the roaring furnace glowing behind you, the thoughts of what your skin would feel like under her hands. 
After a beat of silence, you grabbed said dagger, placed a little ball of clay over its razor-sharp tip, and slipped it into a small drawstring bag, pulling it closed. 
“That’ll be five golden drachmas, La Rue, or fifteen silver ones. Whatever works for you” you say as you hand her the bag, other hand outstretched for the paper she held and to take the coins. She dropped the five golden coins in your palm and grabbed the bag to turn on her heel and walk out without another word.
Or so you thought.
“Thanks for the weapon. I’ll see you around, pretty girl.”
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6okuto · 1 year
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SPECIALLY MADE
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timeskip sakusa x gn!reader
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“you know i could have gotten you something for free, right?”
sakusa’s legs are spread, cheek resting against his knuckles as he sits on the couch and watches you.
he wasn’t one to complain about you wearing team merch, especially not when it had his number on it, but he’s still not sure why you didn’t ask him to get you something instead.
“i wanted to surprise you,” you defend yourself. “plus there was a sale.”
“paying nothing is even cheaper.”
“did you hear the first part about it being a surprise?”
kiyoomi replies with a deep breath before standing up. “you could have asked someone else on the team? not hinata or bokuto, but meian could’ve kept a secret.”
as soon as he reaches you, one hand comes up to play with a drawstring while the other finds its way into your front pocket. his fingers quickly intertwine with yours so he can pull you closer, and he smirks at successfully flustering you, even for a second.
“first of all, don’t look at me all smug like that—”
“i don’t know what you're talking about.”
“—second, i know, i thought about it. but official merch of anything is like, always ugly.”
“ours isn’t that bad.”
“yours isn’t that much better than any other team.”
“the colours are good?”
“yeah but the number and logos are always too big. i had this custom-made so it’s cooler.”
and to be fair, kiyoomi couldn’t really disagree. it had the jackal over your heart, claw marks stretching over your side and ‘MSBY’ on your left arm. luckily for him, though it was notably smaller than on the official jerseys, the number 15 and ‘SAKUSA’ were still on the back for everyone to see. even after all of these years, he couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat or two at the sight of your support.
“now, instead of a boring, normal jersey, i have a one-of-a-kind msby sakusa hoodie just for me.” you smile.
he hums, smiling softly in return. “alright, just for you.”
a beat passes while his eyes take you in again, before kiyoomi suddenly asks, “can i do something, though?”
the next game you come to watch, you get your regular spot close to the court. the team waves when they see you as usual, kiyoomi lingering for a few seconds so you can jokingly shoot a heart his way and he can shake his head.
the difference this time, though, is that you're wearing your new custom hoodie specially signed by your boyfriend in gold lettering, right under his number and last name.
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Kiyoomi... i sure hope there arent any typos in this guys
🏷️ | @devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @idontlikeyourjob @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @kuroaka @vampyrkookie @sunaslay @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt @curiouslilbeast @fiona782 @cvhenia @mitskiologist @libbyistired @milkbreadforlife @itsukkie
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Give in to the Midnight Grind
Milo could hear the thumbing bass from inside his patrol car, as he parked in front of the seedy club. It was hardly the first time the neighbors complained about the excessive noise, but it was the first time for Milo to be sent here, and also his first time going alone.
Usually, young officers like Milo - or Miles Dawson, as it read on his uniform - didn't go anywhere alone, but as it happened, his designated partner for the evening had called in sick. Milo had volunteered to go by himself, since he wanted to prove that he could be trusted to go solo. And, asking a club to turn down the music was hardly a dangerous task.
He checked his uniform again in the patrol car's rear mirror and adjusted his collar one final time. It was important to look professional, after all.
Once he was satisfied with the result, Milo exited the car and locked it before approaching the club entrance.
"The Midnight Grind" was hardly one of the most prestigious clubs in town, and the rundown facade certainly didn't do it any favors. However, that didn't seem to stop the long line of people wanting to enter. The long line of men, Milo corrected himself. Either the nightclub was very bad at attracting female customers or it was a gay club. Considering the provocative name and the leather-clad bouncer, Milo strongly suspected the latter.
Of course, gay nightclubs weren't illegal, and Milo didn't plan on causing any trouble. It was a bit uncomfortable for him, since he was straight, but then again, Milo wasn't here to party, he was only here to tell them to keep the volume down.
When he approached the bouncer, he put on his most winning smile and nodded to the burly bald man with the many tattoos.
"Good evening, Sir. I would like to speak to the management of this establishment."
The bouncer shot him a scrutinizing look and then looked back to his patrol car. Milo had expected his uniform to be enough proof for his official capacity, but perhaps, it wasn't entirely unusual for patrons to show up in a similar outfit.
"Badge." The bouncer grumbled in a voice so deep that it sounded like rocks grinding against each other.
"Oh, of course. One second."
Milo was a bit embarrassed that he hadn't thought of showing his ID earlier and brought out his official badge, still shiny and new. He showed it to the bouncer, who studied it carefully, before nodding and stepping aside, mumbling something into his radio.
"They will send someone to the entrance. Wait here."
"Thank you, sir."
Milo felt uneasy due to the looks of the men waiting in line, but none of them seemed to be particularly hostile, so Milo just smiled politely. A few of the men even seemed to check him out and one or two even winked, which Milo chose to ignore.
Finally, after several awkward minutes, another guy came out. This one was a bit younger, but also dressed in a skintight leather harness, a pair of tight jeans and combat boots. Milo's eyes wandered across his exposed skin, the tattooed chest and the piercings, but the guy didn't seem to notice and smiled widely.
"Officer? My name is Adam. The boss will see you now. Follow me."
Milo felt relief wash over him and was grateful that he could finally escape the hungry looks of the people in the queue, as he followed the young man.
Inside, the music was even louder, and Milo found himself surrounded by half-naked bodies, dancing, drinking and occasionally even making out. It was a bit of an uncomfortable sight for him, but at least the music drowned out any moaning or panting. Still, Milo considered it the best idea to just look straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact.
Adam led him to a set of stairs that went up and to a small balcony overlooking the dance floor. There, a muscular man with a neatly trimmed beard, a full sleeve tattoo and a tight black shirt was sitting on a comfortable looking sofa, smoking a cigar. His legs were spread wide, and he was clearly wearing a pair of skin-tight leather pants that did a very bad job of hiding his bulge. Well, they probably weren't designed to *hide* anything.
Adam said something, but Milo couldn't understand what was being said, so Adam repeated himself.
"The boss will see you now, Officer."
The "boss" regarded Milo from head to toe, which didn't help him feel more comfortable. To escape the situation, Milo began to speak, loud enough to be heard over the blaring and thumbing music.
"Good evening, Sir. I am Milo - I mean, Miles Dawson, Officer, actually, from the city police force and..."
Damn, he needed more routine for that, Milo thought as he stumbled over his words, but the muscular man cut him off.
"It's okay, Officer Milo. Sit down."
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Milo didn't feel too comfortable being addressed by his nickname, especially not by this man, but at least he called him 'officer'. Milo gladly sat down opposite of the other man, who took another drag of his cigar.
"Thank you. What is your name, Sir?"
"You can call me 'boss'. Everyone does."
That of course wasn't according to protocol, but again, Milo didn't want to cause any trouble. In his opinion, the police were there to be as kind and helpful as possible, servants of the public more than anything else.
"Alright, Mr. ...Boss. I am here on behalf of the city police because..."
"Would you like something to drink?"
The boss asked and blew a cloud of smoke right into Milo's face, who tried to avoid breathing in the thick smoke and coughing.
"Uhm, no, thank you. I'm on duty."
"A little bit of alcohol won't hurt you, officer. But have it your way. A virgin cocktail, then?"
Again, Milo didn't want to be rude and simply nodded, smiling. If there was no alcohol involved, it wasn't against the rules.
The boss snapped his fingers, and a half-naked waiter came with a large and colorful drink, putting it down in front of Milo. The straw was formed like an erect penis. Of course. But under no circumstances, Milo wanted to come off as homophobic, so he took a small sip from the obscene straw before clearing his voice.
"Anyway, as I said, the city police were contacted by the neighbors because the music here is very loud. Now, I'm not trying to cause any trouble. We all know how it is when you have a party and have some fun, but I have to ask you to tone it just a bit."
Surprisingly enough, the boss nodded.
"I understand, Officer. Of course, we don't want to cause trouble either. I guess we got carried away a bit, some music is best enjoyed loudly. But whom am I telling that? I see you found a liking to the music as well."
Milo followed his gaze to his own leg and was surprised to see it bobbing to the rhythm. When did that happen? He didn't remember deciding to do that.
"Ah, yes, it's very catchy."
Embarrassed by his lack of control, he took another big sip from the sweet drink.
"Isn't it? But as it happens, we might have to close early today, anyway."
"Why is that?", Milo asked, before he could stop himself.
The boss shrugged his shoulder. "We're short staffed. The flu. Our stripper for today called in sick."
Milo's gaze wandered over the dancing crowd and stopped at the exclusively male dancers in the cages slightly above the dance floor, moving their sweaty bodies to the beat of the music while wearing only skimpy glittering underwear.
"Do you like what you see?" asked the boss, as he took another drag from his cigar.
"What? Oh, no, haha. I mean, sure, you have a great establam... a great club."
Damn, Milo's thoughts felt like they were moving through cotton candy, probably because of the bad air in here. A bit of ventila... a few fans wouldn't hurt, especially since the boss was still smoking his cigar.
"I see, I'm just asking because of your massive boner." The boss said casually.
Milo looked down, and indeed, a prominent tent was visible in his trousers, stretching the fabric uncomfortably.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I... I have no idea how that happened."
"Relax Milo. I'm not judging. If you like the show, feel free to watch some more."
The voice of the boss sounded reassuring, and Milo took another sip, as his eyes returned to the dancers. They did look pretty hot, he had to admit, and for a moment or two, Milo let his mind wander. What would it be like to dance on a pole like that? To show his body, to flaunt his muscles and to show off his cock and his ass, to grind on a pole like he was riding a dick...
Wait, what was he thinking? He wasn't like that at all! He wasn't a dancer, and he wasn't gay. He wiped the sweat from his brow.
"Are you alright, Milo?" asked the boss, still with a smirk on his face and the cigar in his mouth.
"If you feel uncomfortable, you can take off that jacket of yours, if you like."
Something about this felt wrong, but the boss was right. It was awfully hot. So, he took off his jacket, which helped a bit. Still, his mouth felt dry, so he drank some more cocktail.
"You should also loosen that tie. Don't want you to feel constrained."
Again, Milo did as the boss suggested, feeling more comfortable with every step of the process. The tie had really been a bit too tight. He was just about to unbutton his shirt, when the boss interrupted.
"Wait a moment, man. Finish your drink and follow me."
"Where to?", Milo asked, but the boss was already getting up and walking towards the other end of the balcony, to a door.
"Just relax. You are going to like it."
The boss was right, Milo was thinking too much. And thinking was hard, even harder than his cock was right now. Milo finished his cocktail and got up. The bulge was very prominent in his pants, bigger than Milo ever remembered seeing. For a moment, he looked for a way to hide it, but since nothing came to his foggy mind and the boss was already waiting for him, Milo decided not to care. After all, most of the guys in this club were probably hard, down on the dance floor.
The door led to a small stairway, going down and a narrow corridor after that. Milo had to duck when passing the doorframe, which confused him even more, but he couldn't really tell why. The music was even louder here, and the boss stopped in front of a glittering curtain.
"There, you can take your shirt off out there." He said and gave Milo a thumbs up.
Out there? Confused, Milo stumbled through the curtain into a sea of bright light. For a moment, the music stopped, and Milo was able to hear the voice of the boss coming from all the speakers.
"Give a warm welcome to tonight's star! Here is Macho Dawgson for you, "The Meat" himself. And there's a reason he is called that way..."
After that, a new, driving beat set in and the confusion in Macho's head cleared somewhat. What was he doing again...? Right, he wanted to get out of his shirt.
The uniform shirt was awfully tight, as Macho unbuttoned one button after the other. His body was still moving to the beat, beyond his control, but he didn't mind.
Finally, the shirt came off, and Macho twirled it around his finger for a while before throwing it into the bright light, where cheering sounds reacted to it.
For a split second, Macho looked down on himself. Was that really him? He was way fitter than he used to be, like he visited the gym regularly.
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But why did that surprise him, really? He basically lived in the gym, all paid for by the boss. Again, the confusion cleared up some more and Macho started moving to the beat again, thrusting his hips and flaunting his muscles.
The crowd cheered. Of course they did. Macho could hardly keep himself from snorting. He was their fucking god, their idol, the perfect specimen of a man, and they knew it. All those fat, or skinny or otherwise pathetic dudes down there worshipped him, and they better should.
The music got faster and louder, and the dancing crowd was cheering and whistling. Macho felt their hungry eyes on his body, his abs, his pecs, his arms, his crotch. Yeah, there was a reason why they called him "The meat", and that reason was bulging out his uniform pants proudly. But before he got to the main course, he wanted to tease those losers some more.
Macho turned around and let his impressive back muscles work. Of course, he knew that his ass also was a sight to behold, but it was just for teasing. Macho was, of course, a top through and through. After the show, he would be surrounded by willing cocksuckers, who offered every hole in their bodies, begging to be bred, and Macho would make sure three or four of them got their reward tonight.
He ripped open the zipper and wiggled his ass until the pants were hanging low on his hips, and the tight underwear underneath revealed his ass crack. Yeah, Macho knew what he was doing. That's what he lived for: Gym, sex and dancing. He was a god, and he fucking knew it.
Time for the finale. Macho swirled around again and, with a strong motion, ripped off the fake police pants, revealing his stuffed-to-the-brim underwear that shadowed every other man's equipment. Other strippers often wore prosthetics to look bigger, but Macho didn't need that. The bulge in his shorts highlighted his dick and balls in a way that promised only one thing: Size.
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The crowd went wild, and the music reached a climax. With a final roar, Macho pulled on his underwear now, ripping it apart and letting his giant meat spring free, enjoying the admiration and jealousy that branded against the stage.
Fuck yeah. Macho loved his job.
If you enjoyed the story and want to support my writing, check out my tip jar! There are also a few more versions of Miles/Macho!
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psyche-hero · 28 days
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Reasons FNC should be canon, chronologically, sort of, by me, someone who is very slowly writing a mostly canon compliant soulmate au (yes i am reading between the lines for some of these)
1. Chip pulls Gillion out of the sea, Gillion, instantly acquires a new favorite color, the color of Chips eyes.
2. When Chip thinks he is going to die in the casino, he grabs Gillion and holds on, confessing all the wrong things he did to him because he does feel bad.
3. Episode 15 and 16
4. But fr, Gillion gets his honor back because Chip partakes in a cultural custom of his, then Gillion cheers Chip up by participating in a prank for Chip.
5. Chip INVENTING HIS OWN SHIPNAME
6. They shared a kiss that was loving enough that it opened a magic door (listen two nat 20s for a kiss, that is fucking true loves kiss, you just know Chip is thinking about the best kiss of his life constantly)
7. The rings during the BLOCK arc, like idc if it was practical, that’s gay.
8. Chip being so worried that Gillion would choose the undersea over him.
9. One of the few people we see Chip showing explicit attraction towards being someone who looks very similar to Gillion (Eden)
10. Chip basically loosing it after loosing Gil in the feywild
11. Chip like unlocking his magic potential via Gillions sword
12. Chip standing up on a rowboat in the middle of a raging storm prepared to get struck by lightning to bring Gil back
13. Gillion offering to help Chip with magic
14. Chip building an arena and begging to fight Gil because he lied and hurt Gil’s honor again
15. Them having matching scars cus of Kuba Kenta
16. Chip offering to wear a mind reading bracelet to try and fight off Gillions horrible nightmares
17. (I might be misremembering but one of Gillions nightmares primary features being him being unable to save Chip??)
18. Chip being so willing to believe that the person he was seeing was Gillion safe and alive that he fell right into Dopple Gillys trap.
That’s all I can think of. Do let me know more!!
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jewqueer · 1 year
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So jewqueer and iterations of this name has been a long time username of mine. prolly since 2012 easy.
Well i just turned 26 and i just left the family insurance and joined in on my work's insurance. I had already been with Kaiser before and around 2016 my mom switched to Aetna.
But when I was 14 I was legally allowed to create my own account with Kaiser to look at records and schedule my own visits. Even though I haven't touched this account since 2016, when I re-upped with Kaiser this account followed, username and all...
I had to call in to ask about my username and password to gain access as I had not known that I had an account at all.
The lady helping me was so sweet in that customer service insincerity as expected and was otherwise really helpful. Until she looked up my account to relay my username...
She GROANED audibly when seeing my username and slowly read back my username.
I am not allowed to change it either so no matter how old I am, and as long as I am with Kaiser. I am a jewfaggot to them. Not that at my core I ever stopped being jewish or gay.
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meangirls-imagines · 5 months
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Coachella Diaries
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Description: Reader works for WWE and gets hurt during Wrestlemania, causing her to go on a months long break. She goes to Coachella Weekend 2 to support her girl.
WARNINGS: fluffy as shit, slightly suggestive at the end, reneechella (bc that's a warning itself)
Y/N stepped (as best as she could) off the plane and sighed at the California sun hitting her body. 
Her body was exhausted. Wrestlemania was the 6th and 7th, she performed both nights and unfortunately had torn a couple of ligaments in her foot. She worked through the pain and helped make Wrestlemania record breaking. She had gotten surgery on the 16th, which meant she unfortunately missed the first weekend of her girlfriend playing Coachella.
Reneè was also understandably upset, not at Y/N, but at the fact that her girlfriend had to get surgery and she couldn't be there. Luckily for Reneè, Y/N had her fellow superstars keep the blonde updated. The doctor had cleared Y/N for travel on the 18th and she landed in LAX on the morning of the 19th. 
Towa had been the one to help Y/N plan this out, picking her up from the airport. The musician smiled as Y/N hobbled towards her with her bag. "There's my favorite cripple! How's the foot?" Y/N smiled and hugged the girl. "It's definitely injured. I'll be out for a minute but honestly, I'm not mad, I need a break."
Towa laughed. "Ain't that the truth? If I have to hear Reneè freak out about every bump you take, I might've gone crazy." Y/N blushed. Reneè was always very protective of Y/N, not that her profession helped with that. The blonde loved and hated watching Y/N do her thing. Yes, Y/N looked hot but if Y/N had to take another spear from Roman Reigns or a stomp to the chest from Finn Balor, Reneè was going to commit murder. 
This new era of WWE meant the return of inter-gender wrestling, with Y/N leading the charge. She had become the inaugural WWE World Heavyweight Champion, holding it for 316 days. She had been a part of the two biggest main events of Wrestlemania history, which is where she tore the ligaments in her foot. Never the less, she persisted and opened the next night of Mania, unfortunately she lost her title but the ovation she got when she got backstage was worth it. 
She was thrilled to help Cody finish his story but also was happy that she could get a break. She saw the doctor who gave her the diagnosis and what doctor to see and she was on her way.
She had messaged Towa the night she found out and set the surprise up. 
As the two ventured out of the airport, they caught up with each other, Towa informing Y/N of her love life and what not. The two reached the SUV and began the drive from the airport to the AirBnB they were renting for the festival. During the two hour car ride, Y/N had told Towa about some backstage drama happening as the Brit ate it up.
After 2 and a half hours, they finally made it to the house. Adam had been standing outside, waiting for them as they pulled up. The man helped Y/N out of the car and gave her a hug. "There's my favorite former champ! Congrats on the run. It was a rollercoaster." Y/N smiled and hugged the man back. "Thanks Adam! It was definitely a rollercoaster! A fun one though! So, where is my girl?"
Adam laughed. "She's out in the back with everyone else, they're pregaming before we go. Are you sure you can handle going out?" Y/N nodded. "I slept on the plane ride here. Perks of using the company jet." Adam nodded as Towa met up with them, handing Y/N her bag. The trio headed inside. 
Adam and Towa headed to the back to distract everyone while Y/N slipped into the room Reneè was staying in. She took in a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Reneè. God, she missed it so much. She changed quickly, putting on the custom "Reneèchella made me gay" shirt and some shorts before getting the message from Towa to make her appearance. 
She grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed out to the backyard. The group all did a "cheers" before taking the shots provided for them. Y/N decided to speak up. "Do I get a shot too?" 
Everyone turned towards the new voice but no one turned quicker than Reneè. The blonde stood shocked at the sight of her girlfriend, boot and all, standing in front of her. "Holy fuck! Reneè ran to where Y/N was standing and hugged the girl tightly. Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's head. "Hey superstar. I've missed you." Everyone was aww-ing at the scene, some clapping. 
Reneè pulled away from the hug and pressed her lips to Y/N's, kissing her for the first time in weeks. The group cheered as the two kissed, causing Reneè to slip them off. After a minute, the two pulled away and Reneè began to scratch the back of Y/N's neck. "You're really here!" Y/N smiled and kissed her nose. "I am. Now I think it's time to have some fun." Reneè smiled and pulled Y/N over to her friends. 
The group was watching Chappell Roan absolutely kill it when fans began to notice the couple being all cute.
@y/nisthechamp: GUYS! I'M AT COACHELLA WATCHING THE QUEEN CHAPPELL ROAN AND RENEÈ AND Y/N ARE LITERALLY 10 FEET AWAY FROM ME AND THEY ARE SO CUTE!! Y/N IS HUGGING RENEÈ FROM BEHIND AND THEY ARE SINGING AND DANCING!!
@/reneerappslut23: guys. i just saw a video of reneè and y/n all cozy at coachella and my heart 🥺
@y/nfan123: just saw a video of reneè grinding on y/n while they were watching t-pain. don't know who i wanna be more...
@/reneefan253: guys. reneè cannot keep her hands off y/n. she's always rubbing her back or the back of her head or her shoulder. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!
The group made their way back to the house, all breaking off to their respective rooms, sleepily exchanging good nights. Reneè and Y/N made their way to Reneè's room. The two flopped on the bed, Reneè snuggling into Y/N's side. "I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait for you to see me perform." Y/N kissed the blonde's forehead. "Me too baby."
The next day was a lot of the same, more musicians sets, more drinking, etc. Sunday came a lot faster than Y/N expected and she found herself sitting in Reneè's trailer with her, the girl getting ready for her set. Reneè was looking on her phone as her hairstylist finished up her look. Y/N decided to take a stealthy picture and post it on her insta with the caption "coachella ready", tagging Reneè. 
Comments started flooding in immediately. One that stood out to Y/N was from her not older sister Liv Morgan.
@/yaonlylivvonce: We are so excited to see her!! Drinks after?
Y/N smiled and responded to the girl. Adam poked his head in and informed Reneè she had five minutes. The blonde thanked him, took a deep breath and pulled Y/N with her to the wings of the stage. To Y/N and Reneè's surprise, Alyah was waiting for them. Reneè squealed, wrapping Alyah in a tight hug. Y/N smiled at the pair and took a picture of them hugging. Alyah pulled away and hugged Y/N too, scolding her about her injury and how she should've been more careful. 
Reneè saved Y/N by pulling her away from Alyah, wrapping her arms around Y/N's waist and burying her face in her neck. Y/N rubbed the blonde's back. "You're gonna do amazing out there Reneè. Please remember to drink water though. Don't need you passing out on stage." Reneè chuckled as she heard her intro being played. 
"Well, I guess that's me." Reneè pulled her head out of Y/N's neck, leaning up for a kiss. "I love you." Y/N smiled and pecked Reneè's lips. "I love you more. Now go kill it." And with a playful smack on the butt, Reneè went out on stage.
"Tasted the blood in my mouth, and left you there to bleed out.."
Y/N being there must have flipped a switch in Reneè because the girl was putting on a SHOW. Y/N had to keep herself from drooling watching her girlfriend do what she loved. Y/N's fav part do far had to be the Willow ass shake. For scientific reasons, of course. Y/N saw Towa getting her in-ears put in and grabbing her guitar. "Go kill it out there, Birdie." Towa winked playfully at Y/N and went out on her cue from the blonde. 
The two were soon joined by Coco Jones as they performed "Tummy Hurts". Y/N smiled at hoe happy her girl looked. Watching Reneè perform was Y/N's favorite thing to do. She loved how confident Reneè was on stage and how carefree she looked. 
After a beautiful rendition of "Snow Angel", Reneè gave her thanks to the crowd and jogged off stage. One of the crew guys poured a little bit of water on the back of Renee's neck, to cool her off, as the girl walked straight into Y/N's open arms, almost collapsing in the embrace.
"Fuck Reneè, I'm so fucking proud of you, superstar." Reneè blushed and hid her face in Y/N's neck. "I couldn't have done it without you here." Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's temple. "You did it last weekend." Reneè pulled away from Y/N's neck and smiled at her. "Yeah, but it wasn't as fun." Y/N rolled her eyes and kissed Reneè, unaware of Towa taking a picture of them. 
Everyone praised Reneè and her performance before they walked back to the area where her trailer was. Alyah spoke up. "So, what's the plan now?" Reneè smirked and looked at Y/N. "Well, Y/N and I are going to go back to the house to...catch up and we'll meet you guys later?" Towa and Alyah shared a knowing look before nodding and going to watch another set. 
Y/N looked at Reneè confused. "Catch up?" The blonde nodded. "Mhhm. I'm planning on reclaiming my favorite seat..." Y/N caught on and blushed, allowing the blonde to pull her to the car waiting for them.
Yeah, Towa and Alyah would be fine on their own for a while...
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xzaddyzanakinx · 7 months
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Not That Kind of Guy
Part Three: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, menstruation, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, murder, serious illness, needles [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin loves you SO much that he’s disgusting about it. He’s extra delusional. Anakin doesn’t love drama HE IS the drama. He's still a massive Perv [diary entries from Ani] MDNI 18+
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Diary Entry: June 27th
I came to the diner tonight, I love to see you wait tables. You’re so kind and sweet, even to the assholes and shitheads that don’t deserve to breathe your air. Your beautiful smile, those pretty eyes and how you bat those long lashes, that bell-like giggle you pull for those nasty old men’s jokes.
I know it’s not real, but it’s fun to watch you pretend baby. And just as fun to listen to your annoyed retelling of your night when you get home. Gods I could just listen to you talk for hours. Watching your face change as you speak, the acute movements of your eyebrows and lips that tell me how you really feel.
You’re just like me, more than you know.
I ordered some coffee, sat at the bar one of those red spin-y stools, and listened to your sweet lilt tell lie after lie to your customers.
You’re a busy, busy girl aren’t you princess?
Sorry for the messy writing, it was difficult not to laugh as I wrote these little white lies of yours.
1. Saving up money for a car: true, but doesn’t get you good tips
2. This is your second job and life on your own is just real hard: I’m amazed that this one works as well as it does, really pulling on those old lady heartstrings huh?
3. ‘Sorry guys, I’m just- having a hard day. You understand right?’ *sniffle* the only thing those guys understand is the masculine urge to stop a girl from crying and if shoving a few extra bills under their dirty plate makes your day ‘better’, they’re gonna do it.
I don’t know how you continue to use that one on those poor fools, it’s always the same few guys too. They really think you’re something special huh?
You are of course, very special. But they don’t know you like I do. They don’t know that you’re full of shit. I know for a fact you had a really good day. I was there.
You cheeky little minx.
4. Your mom is out of work and you’re helping her out: your mom is out of work, but you’re definitely not helping her out. She wouldn’t take your money if you offered it. (You wouldn’t offer it over your dead body.)
Can’t blame you for this little lie though, your mom really is a piece of shit. Exploit that bitch all you want, she deserves it. I’ve seen those nasty posts she made about your friend. All that because he’s gay?
Oh no! It’s contagious! It’s the vaccines! Gluten!
Come on lady, it’s 2023.
5. you’re getting married! I fucking wish. But, not yet princess, you won’t need to worry about anything when it’s time for that. Thats what I’m here for, I’ll make sure you get everything you want.
6. ‘It’s on the house honey.’ I was so jealous hearing this one for the first time. You’re just absolutely rotten aren’t you? Refills are free.
You’re perfect for me and you don’t even know it.
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Diary Entry: June 28th
Angelic. Cherubic. God-kin.
A biblical beauty if I’ve ever seen one.
The way your hair creates a halo around your face. Tendrils gracing the soft contours of your cheeks, the twitch of your nose when you shift just alittle too much and a strand tickles it. The subtle pull or purse of your lips that tells me you’re deep in the land of dreaming.
Sleep is one of the most basic human needs. It’s not meant to be as glorified as you make it, but somehow you do.
It’s intimate. They way your breathing slows and your body melts into the soft hands of sleep. It’s an event that I’ve been graciously given the opportunity to witness.
It was so, so, so worth waiting for.
SleepyTime Tea, a cute name and of course perfect for my purposes. You drank a cup almost every night. It’d been on my mind for a while and I figured… it couldn’t hurt to open it up and help you get an even better sleep.
Now that I’ve had the privilege of seeing an angel at rest… well I don’t think I could ever witness anything more breathtaking.
Except for maybe your sweet little pussy.
I checked and double checked the measurements on those sleeping pills I promise. I would never ever hurt you sweetheart. I was so anxious, trying to make sure I got the mixture perfect.
It worked like a dream. Didn’t it?
Damn right it did. Worked well enough that I was able to tuck your hair behind your ear and kiss your forehead before I left.
I also did you a little favor or two as well while I was there. It wasn’t a completely selfish visit.
I replaced an old beat up scrunchie, it was past time for you to retire it in my opinion. Now it’s serving a better purpose: squeezing the base of my cock while I fuck my fist to the sounds of your desperate moans, both of us needy for a never quite satisfying finish. If only I had the courage to open that door.
You need a man sweetheart. You need me. Those toys of yours just don’t hit the spot for you do they? Hurts my heart that it takes you so long… and I know it’s not on purpose. I can tell the difference.
Nothin’ can mimic that sinful feel of flesh on flesh.
I took out your bathroom trash, I know you hate doing that. And maybe I accidentally knocked your toothbrush off the sink.
Sue me.
But I promptly rectified the issue, I just so happened to notice you were out of brush-head refills a few days ago and came prepared. You’re welcome baby.
I also purchased the same brand of brush that you have.
Reduce, reuse, recycle.
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Date:
June 29th
You woke up, rolling out of bed at 9:30. An absolutely ridiculous time to be awake on what was meant to be a lazy stay at home day. But alas, you are a good friend, and good friends go through with their plans.
Even if you made those plans a month ago and completely forgot them.
Your cat laced it’s way through your legs while you stood on unsteady feet. You’ve really gotta stop with the caffeine, it’s definitely not normal for someone as young as you to wake up with the shakes. But you’re a creature of habit and an absurd amount of sugar and caffeine were included in those habits.
Staying true to those habits you made your way to the bathroom across the hall, absentmindedly grasping at air for a few seconds before realizing your toothbrush wasn’t where you always left it. With a frustrated groan you looked around and saw that someone… or rather something had knocked it into the floor.
“Boogie!” You turned around and made your way to the living room, interrupting her morning routine by scooping her up and forcing her to face the music.
“How dare you.” You whispered, trying to pull out a stern voice. “I don’t have any new tooth brush heads. What am I supposed to do you little shit?”
You bent down, picked it up and popped the replaceable head off, tossing it into the… empty trash can? When did you take out the trash?
Whatever. Focus. “You better hope I have a spare regular one.” You shot a nasty glare at your cat who sat unbothered on the bathroom counter.
You searched through the cabinet below the sink and through all the drawers and found none. Not even that travel one from last year’s vacation. Finally you opened up the medicine cabinet-mirror combo and was pleasantly surprised but also annoyed, to see that you did actually have a replacement.
“Well shit.” You scoffed, “I should’ve just checked there first.”
Next on the list was a giant tumbler of coffee and a hit of your vape for breakfast. Delicious.
You searched in the catch-all drawer in your kitchen for a hair band, not finding any of the small black ones you settled for a stray scrunchie that lived in this drawer specifically for circumstances like this.
Grabbing the light blue silk scrunchie you went to slide it on your wrist and gather your hair but stopped mid movement. No sharpie mark. You could’ve sworn last time you wore this it had a sharpie mark on it from being trapped in the drawer with a cap-less marker. Weird, but not weird enough to care about.
With your caffeine withdrawal taken care of and your morning duties finished, you slipped on some tennis shoes, grabbed your small backpack and walked to the gym two blocks away. Your wonderful and lovely, much more active friend had invited you to a yoga class to meet ‘someone who isn’t a lazy bastard’.
Which… doesn’t really make any sense considering your last boyfriend liked to lift weights but couldn’t bear to lift a finger to help you.
But you love Luke, and Luke loves to play matchmaker. So you’d suffer through this with a smile. It couldn’t hurt and it might be fun, if all else fails at least you got to hang out with your friend and giggle at him drooling over the ‘guy with this sexy scowl, big broad shoulders, oh my god he’s so soft but like in a buff way it’s insane.’.
“Lukey!” You jogged up to him where he was waiting for you outside the gym.
“You’re late.” He stated sternly despite the little smile curving his lip.
“No I’m not. It’s 10:20.” You scoffed.
“Yes and class starts at 10:30.” He retorted.
“I’m not sure if you know this, but 20 comes before 30.” You said feigning concern as you touched his forearm while walking inside.
“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes, “I mean you’re late to meet this guy I was telling you about!”
He shoved you gently past the various equipment and to a smaller room with mirrors along one wall. He very conspicuously pointed toward a younger guy with… a mullet?
“You’re joking.” You gasped. “Luke I swear to god you’ve gotta be kidding.” You squeaked smacking his arm.
“What?!” He squealed, pulling his arms up to his chest and curling in on himself. “Stop I didn’t invite you to kickboxing! Ow!”
“A dude with a mullet?” You glared at him.
“Wait till he turns around, the mullet will be forgiven I swear.” He said, holding up his hands in an offering of peace.
That peace treaty was immediately ripped to shreds when Luke loudly dropped his metal water bottle on the hard floors, a smile that could beat the devil’s smirk on his face.
The guy whipped his head around, eyebrows raised in concern, soft greenish tinted blue eyes taking a moment to glance over you.
“Everything alright?” He asked, a soft accent lacing his voice as he walked over to you.
Is it strange to say that a man with a mullet is… graceful? Yes, it is.
“Oh yeah, everything is fine.” You answered quickly, not missing the snicker that Luke made when he kicked the water bottle over to you.
You bent down and picked it up, holding it with a grip that would surely snap your officially ex-best friends neck in half.
“Here let me take this for you.” The blonde haired stranger said, reaching out for your backpack and for some reason you let him take it.
He just… exuded a calming energy. No wonder he likes yoga, he’s probably the most zen person you’ve ever met. Everything about him was soft and comforting. His voice, his beard, even his knuckles as they ghosted across your arm when he grabbed your bag.
“Th-thanks?“ You said in a statement that sounded more like a confused inquiry.
You followed him and Luke inside, the blood draining from your formerly flushed cheeks when he unrolled your yoga mat in the front row. What kind of cosmic curse has Luke unleashed? You shot him a look to burn through brick but he just seemed giddy as if you weren’t planning on disposing him in the sewer after this.
“I’m Ben, your instructor. Luke told me you’d be coming today, he mentioned you’ve never taken a class like this before?” He looked over at you, an understanding smile on his face.
THE INSTRUCTOR?
“R-right yeah. No, I’ve never taken a yoga class before.” You shook your head and introduced yourself in return, holding out your hand for a hand shake and being utterly shocked at Ben’s reaction.
“I’m a hugger, hope that’s alright darling.” He laughed softly, enveloping you in a warm embrace that could smelt iron. It certainly made you malleable, maybe even alittle bit melty.
The kicker though? A kiss to the side of your mouth.
You blinked at the audacity, did he just-? But as he pulled back you realized it wasn’t a creepy thing… it was a friendly thing. He just greets everyone that way because he’s a genuinely kind person. You knew that to be true because he turned and did the same to Luke, ending his with a firm pat to his shoulder.
A little green monster clawed it’s way through your stomach at the sight, but you drowned it quickly with the use of your knowledge as a sane person. You don’t know this guy. Luke brought you here because of this guy, he’s not after him, he’s after Beefy McBeef in the corner. You don’t know him, you’re purely getting jealous going off the fact that he is pretty and the realization that you’re not special.
You spent the rest of your time thinking peaceful thoughts to chase away the images of Luke’s tiny pea brain being squished betwixt your fingers for this horrible idea of his, while failing many attempts to mimic the variety of poses and stances Ben showed the class.
Even Beefy McBeef was doing better than you, and you could definitely see why Luke had his sights set on him. Masculine, but not in an intimidating way. He’s right, he’s soft but buff.
After class ended Luke insisted on dragging you over to Ben to say goodbye.
“Thanks, I enjoyed the class.” You said awkwardly, forcing a polite smile.
“Oh I’m so glad, I was hoping you would.” Ben said, a bright smile on his face, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
“I’d love for you to come back next week.” He said sincerely, reaching out to give your arm a gentle squeeze that made your mouth dry.
“I’m not super sure that yoga is my thing, but I’ll definitely think about it.” You smiled, surely he’s just being nice. Like he was earlier.
“Well if yoga isn’t your thing, I’m sure we can find something that is, hmm?” He chuckled, ripping a scrap of paper from his class schedule and scribbling his number down.
“O-oh.” You blushed. That was the smoothest pickup line you’d ever heard… you couldn’t even be mad about it. “Thank you, I’ll… text you later?” You said unsure about your own words.
“No rush darling,” he gave you a warm smile that matched the softness of his hand that took yours and pressed his lips to your knuckles.
When he pulled back he’d somehow snuck the slip of paper into the palm of your hand, he left you there buffering. You turned slowly to look at Luke who was standing there with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Your turn.” You said sternly, nodding toward Mr. McBeef.
“No.” Luke said with an air of finality, scooping up his bag and spinning on his heel toward a few of his class friends.
Luke so kindly helped you make a fool of yourself. It’s only fair that you return the favor. You marched over to Beefy with a sweet smile.
“Hey!” You said, introducing yourself to him.
“Hey little lady.” He chuckled, taking your hand for a handshake, his palm dwarfing yours. “Names Han.”
“Han. Suits you.” You added with a small smile.
“So, Han. You know Luke?” You said, nodding in his direction.
“Y-yeah I do,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervousness you didn’t expect. “Why?”
“Luke is- he’s alittle shy.” You said in a hushed tone. “He’s been talking about you an awful lot.”
“Me?” Han questioned, a downturned grin creeping up his lips as his eyes darted between you and your friend who’d migrated across the gym.
“Yeah, you.” You laughed, “he’s got a massive crush.” You gave him an accomplished grin.
“H-he does?” He gulped, starting to get red in the cheeks. “He’s hardly ever spoken to me.”
“Like I said, he’s shy.” You reminded him gently. “You should go talk to him.”
“Yeah… I will.” He smiled, standing up and placing a kind hand on your shoulder.
“Go get ‘em Beefy McBeef.” You said in a tone so normal that he almost didn’t notice.
“What did you call me?” He laughed.
“Beefy McBeef.” You shrugged, unable to hide your devious smile. “that’s what Luke calls you.”
“No he doesn’t.” Han laughed, big and hearty, Luke turning his head with a jealous scowl until he realized he was laughing with you and it morphed into a mask of pure panic.
“Oh yes he does.” You said firmly. “Can you do me a favor?” You asked.
“Sure babe.” He laughed, still recovering.
“Introduce yourself to him as Beefy McBeef.” You said with pleading eyes.
“Seriously?” He laughed, almost a giggle if you could consider a guy like him a giggler. “What’d he do to you?”
“Just trust me when I say he deserves it.” You said sincerely.
“Can do.” He shook his head with a snort and made his way over to Luke.
“Hey, Luke.” He said, a slight tease in his tone. “Just wanted to introduce myself.” He stuck out his hand and watched with amusement as Luke struggled to comprehend what was happening.
Good. You thought. He deserves alittle embarrassment after the way he forced you into conversation with Ben.
“Beefy McBeef.” Han said, struggling to contain his laughter as he shook Luke’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”
You watched from behind a nearby pillar as Luke turned fire truck red. He frantically searched for you until he spotted you with a massive grin and waggling fingers.
“I’ll kill you.” He threatened but there was no real malice in his voice.
“Sure you will Lukey.” You said with a laugh, running over to the wall where you’d propped up your bag and tossed it over your shoulder. Blowing Luke a kiss as you walked out of the gym.
After returning home you showered and sat down on the couch, resigning yourself to rotting on the couch. You’d done your good deed for the day, two actually:
1. attending a social event
2. helping Lukey talk to Han
You’d also done your one terrible deed for next few months. It’s never intentional that you do something bad, except this time it was. But was it really all that terrible if it got Luke what he wanted? Nope.
Add that to the good deeds list then.
3. embarrassing Lukey while helping him talk to Han
All’s fair in love and war.
Speaking of potential love and possible war, you rummaged through your bag to fish out that phone number, you even dumped out all the contents and searched your clothes as well.
It was no where to be found and you were actually kind of bummed about it. You can’t go ask for his number after all that, that’s just… embarrassing.
Shit.
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Diary Entry: June 29th
Sweetheart.
If I knew you didn’t love Lukey, I’d have been scraping him off the sidewalk right about now. That little twerp was trying to set you up with someone else.
I know it’s not his fault. He’s being a good friend, he just wants you to be happy. He doesn’t know about me and that’s okay, it’s all okay.
But god, could he have picked a worse guy? I mean… really?
*Ooh look at me and my beautiful luscious locks.* GAG.
I could tell he was making you uncomfortable so I got rid of that little paper as quickly as possible. I would’ve hated for you to have the reminder of that fucking creep. The way he kissed your hand? What the hell was that?
So, I slipped it out of your bag and stayed around to listen to your sinister revenge plot.
I’ll say it again baby, you’re more like me than you know.
Ps. Beefy McBeef? Please.
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Diary Entry: July 1st
I’m not an unreasonable guy baby. Really I’m not, but you’re on your phone so much. It just really bugs me you know? We don’t spend quality time together like we should.
I want you to dance around and sing. I want you to lay in the living room floor and color. I to watch you suck ass at MarioKart and laugh when you get frustrated and scrunch your nose.
I want to watch you read so I can read aloud to you, with my e-book copy. I want to watch The Witcher with you, I love that show. Shits cool as fuck, sword fights are so awesome I’ll ignore the fact that you only watch it for Geralt.
He’s not real and I am. So fuck it, can’t hurt to fantasize. I’d be one hell of a hypocrite if I said you couldn’t.
Anyway, sorry I’m rambling.
Are you okay? You’re just… quieter. Is it something I’ve done?
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I think I’ve figured it out sweet girl, I did some online research and replayed some footage. You’ve not been taking your birth control like you should. Come on baby you gotta remember to take it on time alright? Skipping it and taking it out of routine will mess you all up and we can’t have that.
I’ll try my best to remind you.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
You know me, I’m always worried.
Just… I’m gonna need to borrow your phone so that I can install some software for you. I’m just alittle concern that you’re hiding something from me princess. I just want to make sure you’re okay.
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Diary Entry: July 2nd
That SleepyTime tea is a lifesaver.
God I just feel so relieved knowing that I can monitor you. I swear it’s not in a weird way, I just needed to make sure you were in a good headspace you know?
Your search history is so funny. I makes me happy to know you’re just as goofy as me. It also makes me happy that you’ve not searched anything concerning.
Your socials are clean. Your camera roll is full of cute pictures of you and your friends, as well as a few of your ex that I swiftly trashed for you. Maybe just a few naughty ones in the hidden album, don’t worry I didn’t stare. I’ll have plenty of time to do that in person.
Your texts are mostly dry. That’s a good thing though, that means you have more time for me. Even better? No dating apps. Good girl. Those are terribly dangerous, they should require a background check for users, you never know what kind of weirdo is on the other side of that screen.
I’m proud of you babydoll. You’re such a good girl, my good girl.
I’ll help you stay a good girl too. Your phone is mirrored to my laptop, so I’ll be able to see everything you see. No room for mix-ups or miscommunications between us this way.
Communication in relationships is so important.
Which is my reasoning behind the new phone software. You understand don’t you doll? I mean, I can only tell so much from your diary. You like to write and that’s amazing, it’s a great outlet and you should keep up with it. You’re the reason I started my own journal. You were so right when you said ‘it sorts my thoughts and soothes my heart’.
I never thought I’d be a journal guy. Look at me. Self care king.
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Diary Entry: July 3rd
I have the most amazing news princess, after careful research and a very thorough deep dive into all of your neighbors, I’ve come up with the perfect solution to our distance issue.
Did you know that the old man across the hall from you is a widow? Poor guy, 10 years without his wife. They were married for 53 years. 53.
That’s the goal baby. That’s the kind of love I have for you.
If Alan Jared Nelson is anything like me, he’s miserable without Gloria Anne. Just like I’d be miserable without you.
He’s sick you know? He’s on a wait list for a liver, has been for 2 years. Isn’t that just the worst kind of hope? It’s cruel really.
Why give the man and his remaining family the hope of a ‘few’ more years, knowing damn well the guy is old enough that he might turn to dust they minute they cut into him. Why put him on the list at all? He’s 92. No one is giving him a liver.
The liver disease he’s diagnosed with is a doozy too, it’s aggressive, painful, and necrotic. He’s in constant pain. He’s got a port for morphine.
Do you know what kind of horrible pain a person has to be in to get a morphine port? Excruciating.
Alan has lived a long and beautiful life. Between the heartache of loosing his love and the debilitating disease he suffers from… it would be a mercy to lay him to rest don’t you think?
He’s a patriot through and through, he was in the army reserves. Now, that’s not my cup of tea but good for you Mr. Nelson.
America’s birthday is a good day for a guy like him to die isn’t it?
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Date:
July 4th
Anakin counted the windows over and over, repeating the number in his head as he quietly trekked up the creaking rusted fire escape on Mr. Nelson’s side of the building. Not only was tonight a poetic release of this man’s long and happy existence, it was a very good cover.
Majority of the city was busy watching the fireworks at the celebration in the park, including you. Anakin had ensured you’d left before he even considered walking over to your building. He couldn’t bear the thought of committing a heinous, though arguably merciful, crime in the vicinity of such a pure form of radiance.
As expected the din of booming explosions and crackling sparks masked the noise of the quiet power drill Anakin used to remove bottom piece of the outer frame of the out-dated window. Internally cursing the fact that you lived in such an old building, there’s absolutely no way that these windows are up to code. It might make this task easier, but it made him a nervous wreck to think someone could break into your home in under a minute as long as they brought a drill and a magnet. The process was almost silent, you wouldn’t realize anything was amiss until it was too late.
Once the piece of frame was laid aside Anakin used the heavy duty magnet to coax the loose curved clasp that held the window shut, out of the hoop that it rested in. He sighed, thinking he should definitely complain to the super once he moved in. The ease of breaking and entering wasn’t comforting in the slightest.
Sure it was a wonderful thing for Anakin, there would be absolutely no trace of the break in. The man is old, there would be no autopsy, there are no outdoor cameras on this building or the one next to it. This unit is tucked into a well hidden alleyway and no one saw him walk this way. But his worries were based on thoughts of you and your well-being.
Anakin sprayed Wd-40 along the tracks of the metallic frame and waited a moment before wiping off the excess, hopefully ensuring a silent entry.
The moment of truth arrived, Anakin lifted the window just a hair to test it. Finding it whisper quiet despite its age as he opened it and stepped inside.
The interior of the home was just as you’d expect, family pictures, a fridge covered in cards and handwritten reminders. An obscene amount of carved wooden trinkets and the forever mysterious wooden fruit that seemed to adorn the tables of many an old folks homes. Apples and roosters strewn about the space in the form of paintings, lampshades and oddly detailed itchy blankets.
A gorgeous abalone jewelry dish held a silver pendant, trapped beneath was an intricate lace cover that seemed to be made specifically for the coffee table they rested on. Upon closer inspection Anakin determined that it was tailor made. Gloria Anne Nelson must’ve been a talented craftswomen, the quality of work was amazing.
Alan’s display of his wife’s work, her jewelry dish and her favorite engraved pendant… he’d made an altar for her and probably didn’t even realize it. He’d even placed a tall, thick white candle next to the abalone dish. It left Anakin with a lump in his throat, imagining the horrible loneliness this man must feel.
He stood up from his crouched position and took a breath, smoothing his shirt to iron out his emotions. There would be time for proper mourning and reflection later.
He walked toward the short hall that housed Alan’s bed room and bathroom, but stopped short when something on the wall caught his attention.
A calendar depicting a summertime scene of a lake and a small fishing boat was tacked to the wall above the dock for his home phone, a small note pad and pen resting beside it.
A small smile turning the corner of his lip, the sight bringing a fond memory of his grandmother keeping a set-up very similar to this. Must be a universal old person habit.
He stepped closer to read the writing in the small squares and came to the realization that this calendar was not up to date. This calendar was from 2013, ten years ago.
Anakin knew from his deep dive into the Nelson’s life that Gloria had passed on July 16th, but he didn’t realize that July 4th was the anniversary of Gloria and Alan’s first kiss.
She’d kept up with that anniversary for the entirety of 53 years. Poetic.
He took a look around the kitchenette and living room again. Really and truly looking this time, not just glazing over the bigger items, the things that caught his eye. This time he looked at the in between.
He wished he hadn’t. He wished he hadn’t cared enough to pay attention, it was something he’d never forget, an achievement he’d strive for for the rest of his life.
Alan’s home was a shrine.
A neatly kept time capsule full of warmth and fondness. It oozed from the very walls of the space. Gloria had never stepped foot in this space, but she dominated every inch of it. Her devoted husband had rebuilt his life in her image, even in death he worshipped her just as Anakin worshipped you.
A heavy weight settled in Anakin’s heart, this was the right choice. This confirmed it.
He quietly entered the bedroom, Alan’s C-PAP machine humming with a rhythmic flow of air, in, *scish*, *puftk*, out. It was soothing in a strange way, or maybe it was just a relief from the suffocating silence that compressed Anakin’s lungs when he was absorbing the space past the door.
He kneeled at the edge of the bed, pulling a small tube of lidocaine from his jacket hoodie pocket, along with a pair of gloves that he quickly donned. Wincing at the snap of the latex against his sweating palms, but the man continued his peaceful slumber, unaware that it would be his last.
He lifted the corner of the blanket and grimaced as he placed a small dollop of the cream via his index finger between Alan’s fourth and fifth toes. He didn’t even flinch.
Anakin kept the time on his watch and waited until the ointment did it’s job to numb the tender flesh. Fishing a small needle meant for insulin injections from a ziploc bag in pocket. Drawing a bit of air into barrel before carefully pricking the soft skin, holding his breath as his victim twitched.
When he stilled Anakin gently pushed the plunger and created a pocket of air in a vein that would soon end this poor souls life on earth. He withdrew the needle and stored it and the gloves in the ziploc bag, returning the blanket to its previous position.
He should’ve left then, but morbid curiosity had a tight hand around his wrist. Urging him to stay and wait out this event to its completion. So he tugged up his hood and stood motionless.
No one should be alone in their last moments. The least Anakin could do is provide silent support from the darkened corner. He counted the seconds on his watch until the man’s fingers twitched and his throat visibly tightened as a gurgled ball of air left his lungs. His eyes opened, wide and terrified as his body acted of its on volition.
Wrinkled hands weakly pawing at the C-PAP that was fitted over his head, Anakin watched his chest heave and collapse rapidly, the swell of his ribcage caving in on itself with each labored breath.
He’d heard of the ‘death rattle’ before but had never considered it to be anything other than a wives tale, until now. Alan’s choked coughs and gasping breaths reverberated in his chest and rolled up the stretch of his esophagus, coming out in a groan muffled by his lolled tongue.
He brought his fist to his chest in weak thumps, while his other reached over the side of the bed in the general vicinity of the night stand. It’s incredible what the human brain is capable of during such critical moments of stress. Anakin watch with a fascination that went beyond curiosity, wondering how the hell this guy was aware enough to try to grab the phone laying there.
Alan let his head fall to the side and his fading eyes blurred, but didn’t miss Anakin’s figure. To him, he was just a silhouette of midnight black. For some reason Anakin noticed a bit of the fear leave Alan’s tired eyes, softening as though he was accepting his quickly approaching end.
He stopped struggling, stopped reaching for the phone and instead held out a shaking hand to Anakin as though he wanted him to take it.
What kind of monster would deny a dying man?
He stepped forward on silent feet until he clasped the man’s wrist and felt his weak grip on his. The leathery skin was clammy, sickly to the touch and it made Anakin’s stomach churn.
“Death?” A small creaking attempt at the word eeked out of Alan’s lips.
“Yes sir.” Anakin responded. Was it true? No. But was it a lie? Also no. He was and he wasn’t.
“A-about…” the old man heaved, spittle flying from his mouth. “About damn time.”
Anakin was usually quick on his feet with his quips but this man’s nonchalant attitude, his welcoming of his fate was unexpected.
“Sorry Mr. Nelson.” He chuckled. “I’m a very busy man.”
He laughed. A rare occasion if not the only occasion that someone’s dying breath was a laugh. Anakin’s brow pinched together, wetting his lips with his tongue before chewing the inside of his cheek as he watched the life drain from his eyes.
Once his hand went slack and limp Anakin gently laid it across his chest, checked for a pulse and found none. He patted the old man’s shoulder and turned to exit the room, he didn’t look back and he didn’t take another breath until he set foot on the fire escape and the window was shut. Making quick work of closing the clasp and reassembling the metal frame.
He took a shaky breath and checked his watch. Bewildered by the passing of time. He literally couldn’t comprehend it, pulling out his phone to confirm. The times were indeed matching.
Three minutes and 57 seconds.
He was only inside for three minutes and 57 seconds. He felt like hours of his life had flown by, he felt both aged and more alive than he’d ever been. The only thing he could compare this feeling to was… the feeling he got because of you.
He’d done a good thing.
Alan said so himself, the man was ready, beyond ready to embrace death. Anakin had done him a favor by taking his life returning his soul to his soulmate.
It gave him a warm feeling in his chest. He thought maybe he would feel sick, he almost did, until he didn’t. He decided not to question his contentment, instead pocketing it to tuck away in the recess of his mind that he stored his more unhealthy thoughts and experiences in.
He liked that about himself, his ability to compartmentalize at will. He liked to be neat and tidy, it was only natural that his mind mirror that. He knew that it was just his mind’s creation; his mind didn’t really look like a neat room of filing cabinets.
He had one for childhood memories, one for his favorite happy memories, one for his mother, one for his friends, one for his work life, one for his home life. But the two most important things housed in the confines of his skull were the golden pedestal holding the beautifully crafted, one of a kind ceramic vase he poured his love for you into; and The Pit.
He didn’t like The Pit. His inner self kindly transported the things that belonged there via a lockbox and unceremoniously tossed it over the edge at a safe distance. Even the figment of his imagination in this scenario was too afraid to peer over the edge of the chasm. He’d never heard anything hit the bottom, if he got too close he would fall, and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall for eternity.
Then what would you do? Suffer through a sad existence like poor Mr. Nelson?
No. He can’t let that happen. He won’t let that happen. You’re to precious, too pure, too good to experience anything but radiant joy.
He breathed in relief as he found himself suddenly outside his front door, he’d traveled on autopilot.
He showered and tucked himself into bed, exhausted and drained emotionally. But not too much, not enough that he could neglect his duties. He checked the tracker on his phone, pleaded to see that you were abiding by your unspoken agreed upon curfew. Home before 2:00am. Always.
It was only 12:30. Good job princess.
He waited, following the little blue dot to the larger red one and switched over to the live camera feed and witnessed you chatting happily on your phone as you trotted up the stairs.
He thanked his past self from this morning and grabbed the laptop from his nightstand and patiently waited for the mirror image of your phone updated.
Luke. It was just Luke making sure you got home safe; maybe Luke wasn’t too bad after all. He wasn’t a threat to Anakin in anyway and he was concerned with your well-being. Not as much himself of course but enough that Anakin could throw a smidgen of respect his way, it’s nice to know he already has something in common with your best friend.
He did his routine night-time walk through of your device, seeing that you’d turned on your alarms for the next day already. He smiled fondly, his sleepy girl.
He turned up the sound on your bedroom camera, plugging up his phone and putting the laptop on the night stand. He placed his phone next to his head and listened to your breathing slow and relax.
He loved this. Sleeping with the sound of your soft snores and mumbled sleepy words. It was an intimacy that he craved to manifest into the flesh world.
Soon he would.
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Someone please tell me that if you’ve waitressed/known a waitress who’s done shit like that?? If not I just told on myself for being a big fat liar.
Part Four
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Text
Meet Me at the Bar
Written for @steddieangstyaugust day 8: Miscommunication. I got stuck on this one, but I'm finishing the list, one by one.
"I hope you get over that quickly."
That was it. A simple sentence that blew up their friendship. Eddie never told Steve that they were done, but he could feel the coldness, the growing distance between them. They acted civil for the sake of their friends when they met, but there were no more late talks over beers, no Eddie barging in at various times during the night to complain about his life in Hawkins, his job in a garage, his future, and of course, his love life.
It was the latter that caused the rift, and Steve never really understood what he did wrong. They were sitting together as usual, chatting about how everything everywhere sucked, how customers are the worst people to ever exist, and then suddenly Eddie's tone changed. He admitted to Steve that one of the reasons why he hated Hawkins was that he couldn't be himself, not as he is. That he had a coworker at the garage, slightly older than him, and he'd been developing a crush on him for the last few months. That was how he fully admitted to himself he was gay.
He tried to give it time and space, but given that Eddie's brain was always speeding five miles ahead of his good judgment, he tried to raise the issue. Gently. Inconspicously.
Which ended up in a full blown proposal and even more full blown rejection, nearly bordering on violent.
That is how Eddie ended up on Steve's couch and with majority of Steve's alcohol in his system. Steve had already expressed to Steve that nothing is going to change between them, that the guy sucked for reacting that way. And then he told Eddie - "I hope you get over that quickly." He hated seeing Eddie so dejected.
There must have been something to his words that Eddie understood differently. He froze in his alcohol haze, blinked several times - were those tears? But before Steve could check, Eddie excused himself, and no matter what Steve said, he wouldn't talk about anything past "it's too late" and "I need to sleep it off, I feel like a walking brewery."
Just like that, their friendship was gone.
Eddie soon moved away, and Steve? Steve slowly watched everyone who he loved abandon him. He waited in Hawkins until it was nothing but old memories and empty streets, and then he decided - why not. He'd held the fort for long enough.
He packed his bags and moved to Indianapolis the following week.
Steve often thought about his friendship with Eddie, about how he missed his wild smile, his constant stream of trivia and outrageous ideas. It was only when he saw what life could have been in Indy, stolen glances and hidden kisses in dark alleys, that he realized - huh. Maybe we were similar.
Steve found a bar to…explore. He didn't want to admit or label anything yet, he just went there to see if he was right. The same evening, he was pressed against a dirty wall, felt the stubble against his chin as he was being kissed with more passion he'd ever felt in his life. Yep, definitely similar.
He didn't look for anything serious, not yet anyway. Finding out who he was, that was scary. But sharing his whole life with a stranger, letting them into his home, his heart? That was way scarier. He liked what he had - going for a drink once or twice a week, a quick makeout session, maybe a bit more if he was lucky. It was all fine.
At least until the day when a painfully familiar figure sat himself down next to Steve at the bar. "Well well well. King Steve, in such an establishment? Color me shocked."
Steve opened his mouth and wanted to say so many things. Something like, I missed you, I'm sorry for whatever I did, are you safe? But they all froze on his tongue when he saw Eddie's face. It wasn't playful or happy. It was just bitter.
"Hi Eddie," he said weakly. "Didn't know you came around here."
Eddie didn't even spare him a look, he just waved at the bartender and ordered a drink. "Oh, I don't. I mean, I frequent another one, you know. Closed for some dumb reason, so here I am. I'm surprised to see you here though - isn't it just a tad hypocritical?"
"It's…what?"
"You know," he drawled out and finally turned to meet Steve's eyes. Steve'd never felt so hated in his life. "After that all "I hope you get over it" thing?"
Steve almost choked on his beer. "How the fuck is it hypocritical to wish for your friend to get over a heartbreak?"
"Oh, is that what it was?" Eddie's voice could cut steel. "Because it sounded a bit more like "phew, he got rejected, now let's go back to pretending you're straight for everyone's convenience". Because that's the best option, right?"
Steve drew a shaky breath and finally set his beer glass down. He took in Eddie's angry eyes, his trembling voice. This wouldn't do.
He reached for Eddie's hands, refusing to get deterred by his flinch. He grasped both of them and leaned close to Eddie. "Eddie. Man, I don't understand why you'd think that, but if I made you feel like that, then I'm sorry. Really. Even if you find it hard to believe me, that's all it was - we were drunk, you were telling me about this asshole who threatened you over you liking him, and I was just thinking - I hope Eddie gets over it soon, because he's my friend and he's great. And he deserves someone who loves him unconditionally."
Eddie didn't look so angry anymore. His hands grew still in Steve's and his eyes seemed glassy. Steve wanted to reach out and catch all the tears before they fell. "Steve, I…shit, I really thought-"
"It's okay. It's fine, because I got to tell you in the end. I hoped you'd get over it - so that someone better could have you."
"Someone like you?" Eddie laughed, phrased it as a joke, but it really wasn't. Not to Steve.
He smiled at Eddie and wiped away the rogue tear. "I wish. Back then, I still didn't know. Or maybe I did, but couldn't really admit it, you know? Everything around me was changing so fast and I didn't feel ready to do the same. But I think it was always you who made me wonder. Who made me think that being different wasn't so bad. But even if it couldn't be me, I wanted you to be loved and cherished, like you deserved." After a brief eh, fuck it moment, he added, "And now it can be me. If that means anything." 
Eddie finally found back his voice. Clearing his throat, he squeezed Steve's hand back and straightened his back. "Before I say anything more stupid, just answer me this one thing, Harrington - are you as painfully single as little old me?"
Steve laughed so hard he thought he cracked a rib for a second. "Agonizingly so."
Eddie batted his eyelashes at Steve, doing a very poor impression of one of Steve's many conquests back in Hawkins. "Oooh, big words. I like that in a man." Then, in his normal voice: "That's all I wanted to know. Buy me a drink, Harrington? We have a lot of catching up to do."
Steve had never reached for his wallet so fast in his life. 
Something shifted between them. It still wasn't okay, they had a lot of talking to do, but it was a start. A new beginning. And for that moment, it was enough.
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
Text
fairy porn crisis
for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'bookstore au' wc: 964 rated m cw: dirty talk, implied sexual content tags: bookshop owner eddie, steve is having a sexuality crisis but subtly, flirting, getting together, modern au
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"Thanks for covering for me, Wayne," Eddie said as he set his bag down behind the front desk, slightly out of breath from running from the bus. "Won't happen again."
"'S alright, son. Everything go okay with the counselor?" Wayne sipped from his mug, probably his fourth or fifth cup of coffee since he opened the shop that morning.
"Yep. Still on track to graduate in May."
Wayne's stipulation when he "sold" the bookshop to Eddie was that he still get his degree as backup. "Bookselling is a dangerous game and I won't have ya strugglin' if somethin' fails."
"Thatta boy," Wayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Been a slow morning. But your favorite customer is in the back."
Eddie felt his face heat up.
"He's not my favorite."
"Sure he isn't." Wayne rolled his eyes. "I'm off to get a beer with Dave. Call if you need me."
Eddie gave him a thumbs up as he checked over his emails, the one thing Wayne was terrible about doing when he was covering the store. There weren't many, never really were on Tuesdays.
He waited for Wayne to leave, the door chiming with his exit.
He jumped up and made his way around the counter, walking towards the back room hastily.
He found Steve sitting on the beanbag placed in the corner, book in his lap, face bright red.
Eddie squinted until he could see what book he was reading and nearly passed out.
His Ring was the first book in a series focused entirely on a group of queer mythical creatures. It was the only book of the series Eddie had read, and he'd only admit it under risk of death.
It wasn't that it wasn't good. It's just that it was basically porn.
And this one in particular focused on two male fairies, one who was gay and one who spent the entire first half of the book having a bisexuality crisis.
Steve was reading it with the prettiest blush on his face.
Steve, who up until this moment, passed as the straightest human being Eddie had ever met.
"Have you gotten to the part where Ereldi has to sit on Brelend's lap for an entire dinner?" Eddie asked.
Steve jumped and slammed the book closed, pushing it under his legs as if Eddie hadn't already called him out. "What are you talking about?"
"Stevie, I'm the last person to judge your reading habits. But I do have to ask why the sudden interest in queer fairy porn? You're usually reading sports memoirs and doing word searches."
In other words, 'are you interested in testing out your sexuality with me? I can pretend to be a mythical being if needed.'
"Just needed a change of scenery?"
"Are you asking me or telling me?"
Steve's blush deepened, and fuck, Eddie was about to be so unprofessional. Hopefully he wouldn't lose a customer over it, but it was a risk he had to take.
It's just that sometimes Eddie could swear Steve was watching him while he shelved books or swept the front room floors. And sometimes he caught him staring at him during his weekly storytime for kids where he gave out free books and cookies.
And Eddie always wanted to have Steve in his lap.
So.
"I." Steve refused to make eye contact, a sure sign that something was going on. "I just got curious. Heard someone talking about it and wanted to see if they were telling the truth."
"And were they?"
Steve didn't answer, so Eddie decided it was now or never.
"You know," he took a few steps closer to Steve. "I'm not usually one for those books. But there's something about the way they paint a very clear picture of how Ereldi rides Brelend in the forest that just draws me in." Another few steps. "Actually, Ereldi reminds me a bit of you."
Steve visibly gulped.
"But you wouldn't be interested in riding someone would you, Stevie? Prefer women to hop onto your lap and go for a ride?" Eddie's heart was racing.
And then it stopped completely when Steve gave the most unexpected answer he could have possibly given.
"I'd be interested in riding you."
Steve's wide eyes stared back at Eddie, daring him to make a joke, daring him to laugh.
Eddie wouldn't joke or laugh about this. He wasn't wasting this chance.
"Is the forest a requirement or could I go lock the front door and take you upstairs?"
Okay, so he couldn't not make a little joke.
"Forest sounds messy. Upstairs."
"Oh, I plan to make a mess of you regardless of location, sweetheart," Eddie leaned over Steve, foreheads touching, smirk growing as Steve's eyes closed. "Won't even have to get you hard, huh? The book did all the work for me."
Steve tilted his head back, lips puckering, searching for contact from Eddie's.
Eddie pulled away. "I close up in ten. You know the way upstairs?"
Steve's eyes blinked open as he nodded.
God, he was gonna be fun.
"You wanna be a good boy and wait for me up there?" Steve nodded and stood from the chair, wobbling slightly as he tried to gain his balance. "I want you naked in bed when I get up there, got it?"
"Um, I've never-" Steve started.
"Oh, sweetheart. I know. It's written all over you. I'm gonna take real good care of you, though. Better than anything you would read in that book."
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, sugar?"
"I really like you."
Eddie heard what he wasn't saying, knew without a doubt that he had to do this right or risk scaring him away from more than just the store.
"I really like you, too, Stevie." Eddie kissed his cheek. "You're in good hands."
"I know."
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noyzinerd · 9 months
Text
Derek teaching unknown werewolf societal/cultural facts to Stiles is cute, and I love that for them, truly, but I want to see the reverse.
We're always hearing about when someone (usually Stiles) asks a naive question about werewolves and Derek going "No, you idiot! It doesn't work like that!" As if it's common knowledge that everyone should know, when in reality there's no possible way Stiles (or any average person, for that matter) could know that.
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And I'm sure in Derek's world, stuff like silver not actually being effective against werewolves is a no-brainer or spotting a Kitsune is laughably easy, but not to the common bystander.
So, instead, I'd love to see the random, human customs and social norms Stiles would find himself needing to explain to Derek when they start living together. Stuff that the human family members of his pack never displayed because they had been raised surrounded by werewolves their entire lives.
From all the small things like how, when you get a canker sore or lose a filling, you always gotta stick your tongue in it. ("No, we don't want to do it. It hurts like hell, actually. It's just something we do. Don't ask me why. I honestly couldn't tell you. It's the same with picking scabs or pressing down on bruises.")
Or like how you're not supposed to eat the weird, little black nub at the bottom of the banana. ("I don't care if it's composed of the exact same stuff as the rest of the banana, that's so fucking gross 🤢")
Or like how you have to walk around ladders instead of under them ("Because otherwise you'll get bad luck, Derek!")
Or how, for a short time in history, a man wearing a singular earring on his left ear meant that he was gay for some reason. Or was it the right ear? ("Hey, listen, man, I didn't make these dumb rules!")
Or how you can't pick up a penny off the ground unless the face side is heads up ("Yes, it's another 'good luck, bad luck' thing. We actually have a lot of those, now that I think about it.")
Or how if someone far away sees you coming and holds the door open for you, you very specifically have to do a customary tiny wave or acknowledging nod before doing a small little half trot-half jog that isn't too slow or too fast all the way to the door. ("Because you don't want to take up their time, but also you don't want them to think they've inconvenienced you. Yeah, no, I get that they already have, but you don't want THEM to know that.")
All the way up to things like the weird history of Coke Zero, even though Diet Coke is essentially the same thing. ("Oh, now see, that's actually pretty interesting. And by interesting, I mean dumb and terrible. See, in the 80's, Coke only ever marketed Diet Coke as a 'woman's drink', so when they finally decided to expand their demographic, they had to spend millions of dollars to undo their own conditioning because their women's only Diet Coke campaign had been so successful, it took decades for men to stop associating drinking diet soda with being gay or effeminate.")
Just so Derek can finally know what it feels like to be on the other end of "common sense."
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softspiderling · 1 month
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i’ll call you mine
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summary:
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
“I think you’d really like my friend Jaycee.”
Jaycee. Cregan imagined a blonde, not much different from his cousine. The girls in her sorority looked like a dime a dozen. He couldn’t say he was particularly enticed.
“I’m not really looking to date right now, Sar,” Cregan hedged and Sara only groaned.
“Oh come on, Cregan, I really think you should-“
Cregan didn’t really hear the rest of Sara’s words, because Jace walked into the lecture hall, his eyes scanning the seats before stopping on Cregan, giving him a small wave. Cregan lifted his hand to call him over, before shoving his bag off the seat.
“Hey Sara, I gotta go, class is starting.”
OR; Cregan has a crush on this guy in his class, and his cousin wants to set him up with one of her sorority friends. Also, he’s still kind of in the closet. Good times.
pairing: jacaerys velaryon x cregan stark, modern au!
warnings: slight ooc, comes with modern aus, imho
word count: 2,1k
author's note: the jacegan/haylor 2.0 brain rot is real. this idea came to me literally this afternoon and i just wrote it down lmfao. hope you like it <3 plss pls pls leave some kind words/reblogs! this is for jacegan nation <3
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Cregan had always known he was into guys ever since he was younger. Whenever he was hanging out with his friends, they moaned and talked about Rhaenys, the singer of the The Conquerors, and occasionally about about the drummer Visenya. Cregan tried to chime in as much as possible; they were pretty. He was just impartial to Aegon, the lead guitarist. If Cregan ever chose to tell his friends he was into guys, he didn’t think they’d judge him, they had seemed fairly unbothered when one of their teachers had turned out to be gay.
But Cregan had never felt the need to tell anyone he was into his guys; after his first two girlfriends everyone had assumed he was straight and Cregan never corrected them. While he did have an occasional crush at a player from the opposing team or a frequent customer at the coffee shop he used to study at, it was never something he found worth pursuing.
That changed, however when Cregan got into university. Every other guy was insanely hot and made him question if he ever was into girls in the first place. One especially, Jace, from his Gender Politics class, had Cregan sweating every Wednesday morning, with his lean arms, his brown curls and the freckles on his nose.
“Hello? Are you even listening to me?”
Cregan frowned, pressing his phone harder against his ear. His cousin, Sara, had been chatting about her sorority for the past fifteen minutes and he had clinked out about the second time she said “so rad.”
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
“I think you’d really like my friend Jaycee.”
Jaycee. Cregan imagined a blonde, not much different from his cousine. The girls in her sorority looked like a dime a dozen. He couldn’t say he was particularly enticed.
“I’m not really looking to date right now, Sar,” Cregan hedged and Sara only groaned.
“Oh come on, Cregan, I really think you should-“
Cregan didn’t really hear the rest of Sara’s words, because Jace walked into the lecture hall, his eyes scanning the seats before stopping on Cregan, giving him a small wave. Cregan lifted his hand to call him over, before shoving his bag off the seat.
“Hey Sara, I gotta go, class is starting,” Cregan said, effectively cutting her off. She only sighed and he could basically see her rolling her eyes at him.
“Fine. But you’re not getting out of this so easily.”
He knew he wasnt.
“Bye Sar,” Cregan said, ending the call just in time to see Jace scoot into his seat. He looked great, as usual. The sunglasses on his head pushed his curls back slightly, his button up open over his white tank top.
“Hey, who were you talking to?”
“Just my cousin,” Cregan said, sliding his phone into his pocket. “You look good.”
“Thanks!” Jace said, beaming at him. “Have you done today’s reading?”
Cregan nodded, pulling a face as he opened his Macbook.
“Yeah and it was awful.”
The lecture passed quickly, just like it always did when Jace was there. Cregan wasn’t sure what it was about the other guy, but they just instantly clicked the first time they talked. It just felt like they were supposed to know each other. When the professor ended the lecture, Cregan and Jace both packed their stuff. Cregan always looked forward to Gender Politics, not necessarily because it was an interesting lecture, but because it was the only class he had with Jace. He hadn’t been bold enough yet to ask him to hang out privately.
“Alright, I’ll see you next week, right?” Jace asked, shouldering his backpack.
Cregan nodded, giving Jace a grin as the brunet turned to leave. To Cregan’s surprise, he stopped, looking back at Cregan.
“Hey, I don’t really know if it’s your thing or not,” Jace started, making Cregan hold his breath. “But there’s a party tonight at Alpha Phi. Do you maybe want to go? With me, that is?”
Surprised, Cregan was stunned for a second before he nodded, an easy grin on his face.
“Yeah, sure. Sounds like it could be fun.”
“Cool,” Jace said, pulling his phone out of his pocket, handing it to Cregan. “Put your number in, I’ll text you the details.”
Gingerly, Cregan typed in his number, making sure it was correct, before handing it back to Jace.
“Cool,” he repeated, his cheeks pink. “Um, I’ll see you tonight then.”
Cregan nodded and Jace saluted at him, turning to leave.
“Don’t keep me waiting, Stark!” he called over his shoulder.
The frat house was packed when Cregan arrived a little after ten later that night. This was a bit out of his comfort zone. While he liked to go out every once and then, frat parties weren’t really his thing. He only went once, during his intro week, and Sara had promptly danced on the tables in her bra. He was mortified.
He had been contemplated asking Sara to come, so he wouldn’t be by himself, but inviting Sara meant questions. Why are you going to a frat party? Who’s Jace? How come you never come to frat parties when I ask you to come?
Cregan really didn’t want to deal with any of those questions. So he sucked it up and went by himself. Squeezing past the people at the front door, Cregan immediately smelt cheap alcohol, sweat and beer. He just hoped he’d find Jace soon. With some difficulty, Cregan shouldered into the living room, looking to find a familiar head of curly hair, when he finally spotted Jace by the backyard door. Though he wasn’t by himself.
A prettt dark skinned girl was pressed into his side as she talked, her blonde hair curling around Jace’s shoulder. Cregan couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy. Jace had asked him to go to the party, why was he cozying it up with someone else?
When Cregan saw the girl lean in even closer to whisper in Jace’s ear, making him bowel over in laughter, he couldn’t help but feel a pit of disappointment in his stomach.
He should’ve known.
With a small groan, Cregan rubbed his eye, turning on his heel to leave, bumping into several people, but he ignored their exclaims. Of course a guy like Jace was straight. He had probably asked Cregan to come to be his wingman or whatever. Resigned, he took his phone out, texting his cousin.
Cregan: you can go ahead and set up the date with your friend
sara: omg!!! finally!!! i promise you guys at eso perfect for each other
He felt bad for letting Sara set up the date, but honestly, maybe her friend was cute and could help him get over this crush on Jace.
“If I had known that you were in such a bad mood, I would have set the date for another day.”
It was close to noon the next day, and Cregan was staring daggers into the foam of his coffee. It was just his luck that Sara had managed to set the date right for the next day, and she hadn’t even given him a chance to back out again. He was still in a foul mood. After he had left the party last night, Jace had been texting him a handful of times. He hadn’t really made up an excuse to text him back yet.
Jace: hey, got a beer waiting for you. when are you gonna be here?
Jace: ?
Jace: not cool, dude
Cregan still didn’t know how he was supposed to see Jace in class for the rest of the term. He considered just dropping the class, maybe retaking it some other time. He leaned back in his seat, as Sara checked the time again.
“Your friend’s not really big on punctuality, is she?” Cregan asked and Sara gave him a look.
“Jaycee’s not-“ She broke up, her eyes widening in recognition. “Nevermind. Finally.”
Cregan craned his head to look at the entrance, hoping to get a look at Jaycee before he had to talk to herc but there was no girl to be seen. Only Jace.
Wait.
Cregan nearly choked on his own spit when Jace walk into the cafe, raising his hand to wave at Sara as he approached their table.
“That’s your friend Jaycee?” he hissed, his eyes wide.
“Oh yeah, good thing you’re bringing it up,” Sara said, distracted, as she waved Jace over. “Don’t tell him I’m calling him that, he hates it.”
Jaycee.
Jacey.
Jace.
Holy fuck. He had it all wrong.
“You were setting me up with a guy?” Cregan asked incredulously and Sara only turned her head, giving him a look.
“Cregan, I’ve known you were into guys since like 10th grade, how dense do you think I am?”
Cregan gaped at her and she glanced over to Jace, before she looked back to him.
“Close your mouth and don’t embarrass me in front of him,” she muttered under her breath, before she stood up, raising her voice. “Hey Jace.”
“Hey Sara,” Jace said, giving her a quick hug, pushing his sun glasses up.
“Jace, this is my cousin Cregan,” Sara said, turning back to introduce him. Cregan barely had time to close his mouth, before Jace looked at him, his eyebrow raising.
“Cregan, hey.”
“Hey,” Cregan replied, his cheeks growing hot. Sara glanced between them, her eyes suspicious.
“You guys know each other?“
“We have Gender Politics together.” - “Your cousin stood me up last night.”
“What?” Cregan asked, confused. Jace only looked back at him, like he was daring him to prove him wrong.
“Uh, I think I’ll let you guys talk…” Sara said slowly, giving them one last look before she went left. Cregan glared daggers at his cousin’s back, before he looked at Jace, who seemed to be amused, more than anything else.
“I didn’t stand you up last night,” Cregan started; he didn’t like being called flaky. He would never stand someone up, much less Jace.
“I asked you to go to a party with me and you didn’t show up without even giving me a heads up,” Jace pointed out. “I’d call that standing me up.”
“I was there,” Cregan replied, frowning. “There was this girl all over you when I arrived, I didn’t want to interrupt.”
Jace frowned at him, his lips pursed before it dawned on him. “Oh, you must be talking about Baela.”
Cregan raised his brows at him.
“Baela, my cousin,” Jace clarified and Cregan felt all sorts of embarrassment run down his back.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
Cregan leaned back in his seat, dumbfounded. “So you were asking me on a date?”
Jace stared at him. “Was it not obvious?”
“I don’t really tend to go to parties on a first date,” Cregan pointed out and Jace winced.
“Okay, fair enough. But I wasn’t sure if you were into guys or not, and I figured a party was a safe bet in case you weren’t.”
Cregan grunted, seeing the logic in Jace’s plan. “Well, I am into guys,” Cregan said, even if it felt a little weird to say it out loud. Jace lifted his head, a smile growing on his face.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Cregan replied, pausing. “I’m also into you.”
Jace flushed, nodding, shifting on his feet. “Cool…. Me too.”
They just stared at each other for a few seconds before a loud groan came up behind them.
“For the love of god, just sit down, Jace!”
Sara maneuvered Jace into the booth, pushing him next to Cregan and more or less slammed another coffee in front of them.
“Just to be clear, this was my doing. I accept thanks in cash and venmo.”
“Get out of here, Sara,” Cregan snapped half heartedly as Jace only snickered into his coffee. Sara lovingly flipped him off, flicking her hair to the side before she exited the cafe.
“So Sara is your cousin?”
“Let’s not talk about Sara,” Cregan said, scooting closer to Jace, dipping his head, leaving him enough time to pull away if he wanted. “I’d much rather talk about us.”
“I’d much rather not talk at all,” Jace quipped, before he closed the last distance between their faces, putting his lips on Cregan’s in a soft kiss.
Cregan was fine with not talking for a while.
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author's note: YOOOOO so what are we thinking?
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