#mental self defense

[gingerswagfreckles]

Lotta people on this website get a big kick out of yelling "PUNCH NAZIS!!1!!" and it's like. Babe. You are the Nazi.

Like if you see the brutal murders of literal children as "sad" but justified because civilian Jews are "invaders" who "don't belong"....I have some news for you about what you would have been doing in 1940s Germany.

[nouraraelyn]

You have the power and responsibility to protect and heal yourself. 

[rukafais]

the coldfire trilogy is about a lot of things, but mostly it's about two men who get increasingly and obsessively intertwined with each other's lives and perceptions of the world while the author is completely convinced she's writing two straight guys being dudes. Truly the rituals are intricate.

[autisticsociologymajor]

“No Means No” Is Not Enough

CW: Entire post may be distressing. Talking about consent. 

It’s a good principle, but it’s not enough by itself with no other supporting principle. 

Why? 

There are so many ways people say “no” or “I’m uncomfortable,” without actually SAYING those exact words. 

Think about these things: Coercion, body language, subliminal cues, intoxication, unconsciousness.....

This is going to get triggering because I struggle to sugar coat topics like this. Here we go -- 

What stops somebody from emotionally, psychologically, or verbally coercing someone into doing something they don't want to do? Nothing. What stops someone from asking the same exact question SO many times that the subject of the questions just gives in and gives them what they want so they can be left alone? N O T H I N G. 

Someone can say “no” in any and every way imaginable, yet all that’s needed is ONE “yes.” Nothing stops people from pressuring (coercing) another person into giving just that one “yes” in order to justify obtaining “consent,” regardless of if they have received 50 “no’s” in the past. 

Coercion is not consent. 

Few states have laws in place that include coercion in their legal definition of s3xual assault. 

Moving on. Body Language.

Body language can say “no” in many ways. If someone tenses up, does not reciprocate the same body language, moves or shifts their body away from someone, moves another person’s hands off of them or to a different area, if they turn their head away to dodge a kiss, if they keep a good distance between themselves and others.... 

Those are a few examples of a non-verbal “no” or “I’m uncomfortable.” Of course, situation varies. I know many neurospicy people like myself might do some of these things without meaning to indicate discomfort. Body language can indicate many things and can vary between individuals, which is why only body language by itself is also not enough in consent conversations. There are symbols in society that most people understand as “no.” For example, waving your hand in front of your throat to say “cut it out,” (aka, stop) holding a finger or hand up to say “wait,” or “stop, slow down, etc.” Shaking your head “no,” creating distance between yourself and others... 

All of these are examples of “no,” yet they aren't talked about nearly enough. You do not need a verbal “no” in order to know that you do not have consent. But also, it’s important to have conversations with partners. For example, if you struggle with body language or have unconscious non-verbal reactions to certain things like touch... It’s good to make partners aware of them so they know what you’re communicating (or not purposely trying to communicate)

Nothing stops someone from saying “well they didn't SAY no,” and that is exactly why we need to shift the conversation of consent away from or perhaps deeper into “no means no.”

Subliminal Cues

In real life, people have anxiety, struggle socially, struggle with self-assertion, and many many things that can affect someone’s ability to straight up say “no.” 

People pleasers like myself might try “letting someone down easy” without saying “no” specifically. OR, someone might actually be mean but still not say the word “no.” 

For example, in movies we’ll hear “I’d rather die,” “aha, ew.” or “In your dreams,” do these mean no? Yes. If someone says they’d rather die than hookup, it’s undoubtably a no. 

In real life, though... “No thanks,” “not right now,” “I’m in a relationship,” “I’m not interested,” THOSE ARE ALL A NO WITHOUT A STRAIGHT UP “NO”

I don’t care how nice somebody is about saying no. If they say “no thanks,” or “not right now,” or “not interested...” They are still saying no. They’re just catering to someone’s feelings and trying not to be rude. Also, none of those things mean “maybe if you try to convince me,” either. 

Politeness does not = convince me or maybe later

Intoxication and Unconsciousness

Nothing stops people from saying “they didn't say no,” to justify non-consent against an intoxicated or unconscious person if we continue to ONLY focus on “no means no” and even “yes means yes.”

Has nobody heard those nasty a$$ “jokes” some “men” tell? That pretty much say that if someone doesn't have the ability to say no then it’s free reign?

I think that should say enough about why there needs to be a shift in the conversation. 

A few things I have to add...

If you’re touching someone and they move your hand to a different part of their body, do not move your hand back to where they removed it from. They said no.

Consent to kiss someone does not give you consent to do ANYTHING you want. Consent to have s3x with someone also does not indicate that you have free reign to do whatever you want without asking. 

If somebody dodges a kiss, don’t keep trying. Don’t throw a pity party to make them feel guilty for saying no either. 

!!!!!!!!!!YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE A BITCH TO ASSERT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

YOU ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT TO A PRIMAL LEVEL OF VIOLENCE AGAINST PEOPLE WHO WON’T STOP

Do noooot ASSUME what somebody is into. Do not assume someone’s kinks. Absolutely do not assume everybody enjoys having their hair pulled, face or a$$ slapped, being choked. Assume nothing. Expect nothing. 

To Recap... 

Pressuring someone into giving consent is not consent. 

A non-verbal “no” is still a no. 

People can subliminally say no or yes.

If someone doesn't have the ability to say or indicate “no,” it’s always a no. 

[alixisherebutringagain]

I had a catatonic episode and I'm feeling so shameful and depressed about it.

I mean, I literally had to have people carry me to our car. I'm so ashamed. All of that because I couldn't move. I couldn't even talk. God, I hate this condition. I wanna cry so bad.

I hate catatonia. I wish I could tear it away from me.

I don't wanna tell more about it today, I'm too ashamed.

[katimorton]

Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) can be hard to identify and understand, which is why today I am breaking down the symptoms we may experience in adulthood. We often focus on the signs it's happening to us, but many of us don't recognize what's going on until we are much older. These are just some of the signs, and obviously everyone's experience is unique, but just know that with help we ca over come these struggles. It can and will get better :) You are worth it. xox

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

[mamayan]

For all my babes going into their Fall semesters at Uni, heading out into the night for Halloween parties, and just living up this wonderful time of year, I’d like to remind you…

1. Do not headbutt with your forehead, instead angle and try to use the crown where your hairline connects with your forehead. It will help prevent knocking yourself out. Aim for their nose- the cartilage is weak and you can easily break the bone.

2. If you lick your finger, it’ll help you easily slip into the corner of their eye. Sounds gross and terrifying, but it takes little to no pressure to pop the eye out of the socket. It’ll end any and all struggles. (This works only if your hands are free.) Please be aware this can permanently maim an individual, use with caution and when in serious danger.

3. Pepper spray can also affect you, so be sure to practice and know the distance necessary to prevent you from also becoming affected. Your arm should be completely outstretched and away from you. Try and put distance.

4. You’ll never regret keeping a small weapon on you, i.e. a pocket knife, a D-ring, pepper spray, etc. Aim for soft points— inner thigh, neck, under arm, groin, eyes. Hesitation can lead to giving them the advantage, be quick and use force.

I condone any and all violence for self defense. Repeat violent offenders look for lack of confidence and disorganization. Have a plan when you go out, who you’ll be sticking with, where you are going, how you will get there, etc. If you appear on a mission, you make yourself a harder target.

Trust your gut instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

[martianbugsbunny]

That's How He Knows He's Yours (A Lokius Fic)

Would you like a little bit of self-indulgent Lokius to heal from the finale? You would?!?! Good!! Because I just so happen to have some! *opens green coat to reveal a fic* All the context you need, which is little to none, is in the fic, so just read on and enjoy and patch up your little broken heart!!!

The TVA was having a party.

That wasn’t really the important thing, but it was interesting anyway. Mobius couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a party—but they needed to keep their spirits up after finding out that their entire lives were, in fact, lies, so a party it was. Every sector was having its own shindig, because the TVA was immense, and all of the employees couldn’t have fit in a single room if they’d been threatened with death to do it.

Well, anyway, the important thing was that Mobius wasn’t going alone. He’d convinced Loki that it would be more fun to go together than to go separately, or not to go at all.

The other important thing was that Mobius had offered to braid Loki’s hair, which had grown considerably longer than it had been the first time they’d met, and that Loki had taken him up on it.

He’d spent hours studying both Jotun and Aesir braiding styles—not just the actual construction, but also the meaning behind them. In the end he’d picked the Jotun style that signaled “I’m taken” because it was beautiful, and because he was pretty sure Loki didn’t know enough about his own culture to know what it meant himself, so Mobius could convince himself it wasn’t that much of a presumption.

“I’m not so sure about this suit,” Loki said, patiently waiting as Mobius brushed his hair before twisting it together. “The gold stripes are a bit much, don’t you think?” “What happened to the guy who used to strut around wearing gold armor and a cape?” Mobius teased, beginning the first braid. Left under the middle, right under the middle, he muttered to himself.

“I’ve been wearing your boring TVA clothes for months,” Loki said. “The drab must’ve rubbed off on me.”

Mobius rolled his eyes. The truth was, he was outside his own comfort zone in a fancy suit. His didn’t have metallic pin-striping on it like Loki’s did (because it was a bit much, although Loki wore it well) but it was black, and a much sharper cut and a much more dashing style than he was used to wearing. He’d been just an analyst in a plain brown suit for centuries, and now here he was all dressed up like he thought he was Prince Charming or something.

He tried to focus more on the different strands of dark hair in his hands than on the way his fingertips brushed against Loki’s temples as he gathered new locks to add to a braid.

He failed.

As he began to pin the completed braids up using glittering golden hair pins, he tried to focus more on not stabbing Loki’s  scalp than on the brush of his hands against the nape of Loki’s neck.

He failed.

Loki was built like a prince, Mobius sometimes caught himself thinking. It didn’t matter if it was princedom of Asgard or of Jotunheim. There was an elegance in the set of his shoulders, in the movements of his hands as he wielded his magic, and a determination in the curve of his back and the way he stepped, that was just plain regal. Gold, like the simple rings he was wearing that night and the hair pins Mobius had found for him and the single slim chain around his neck, seemed to have been built into the cosmos for no reason other than to have Loki wear it.

That was waxing poetic. Mobius didn’t do that often—only for Loki and Jet Skis. What could he say, they were both remarkable singularities in the universe.

He finished setting the last braid into place, nestled among the others like a crown across the top of Loki’s head. “All done, puss,” he said, patting Loki on the shoulder.

Loki’s head turned slightly to the side at the use of the nickname, and Mobius could just see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Do I dare look?” he asked.

“I didn’t mess it up that bad,” Mobius said. Loki chuckled and got up from the floor in front of Mobius’s couch to go check his appearance in the mirror on the other side of the room.

Mobius could see the reflected green eyes widening as he caught sight of himself. For some reason Mobius’s heart was in his throat.

“I didn’t know you knew how to do this,” Loki said.

“What, braids?” Mobius managed to speak past his racing pulse. “It’s not that hard.” (It was, actually, quite hard, but learning it for Loki had made it seem easier.)

“No. The Jotun style.” That quick pulse stopped altogether. Mobius sat there, stock still, feeling very much like he was going to throw up if Loki didn’t break the sudden silence.

He turned from the mirror to look Mobius in the eyes properly. He was smiling, his eyes glittering beneath the faint liner he’d applied earlier that evening and a light dusting of shimmery white eyeshadow. “Seems the pussycat has caught himself a guilty little mouse,” he said, his voice sultry and honey-smooth, dripping into Mobius’s soul. “You didn’t realize I knew what these braids meant,” he stated. There wasn’t a hint of doubt on his face.

“You caught me,” Mobius said. He was impressed with himself for being able to get any words out at all, with Loki’s gaze focused on him like that.

“I’m taken, am I?”

Now Mobius found himself entirely unable to speak. What could he say, after all, other than "we’ve been spending a lot of time together and you don’t mind when I call you ‘puss’ and I catch you staring at me sometimes in a way nobody ever has"? It seemed stupid even in his brain. None of that meant he and Loki were…whatever he’d been subconsciously thinking they could be when he’d picked the style.

Loki walked back across the room, a new sway in his hips that Mobius was positive hadn’t been there before, and sat down on the couch to lean directly into Mobius’s personal space. For a long moment, far too long, far too breathless, he simply studied Mobius’s face, as though he could see everything single thought that had ever crossed his mind.

“We’ll see about that when we get back from the party,” he said finally, gaze flicking briefly down to Mobius’s lips. “Maybe you’re the one who’s going to be…taken.”

He crossed into that last bit of personal space and pressed their lips together, his touch surprisingly light, stunningly tender, as one arm came up to drape across Mobius’s shoulders and draw him even closer.

“Don’t be so sure of yourself, puss.” Mobius finally found his tongue again after the kiss (although in a few moments, he was sure the cat would have it) and flirted back, laying a hand on Loki’s thigh. “You’re the one with the fancy hairstyle to prove it.”

As Loki laughed, Mobius captured his lips in another kiss, just as soft as before but oh-so-many leagues more passionate, and he thanked his lucky stars he’d been fool enough to pick a Jotun way to call Loki his.

[nouraraelyn]

Have the courage and strength to let go of what's weighing you down.

[rough-bruised-love]

Hi self-destructive tendencies. Long time no see. Welcome back!

[fair-night-starry-tears]

I couldn’t help myself and decided to make a self insert. But here’s the fun twist I had was. Basically Crowley legit didn’t focus on me and I got bored to wonder out of NRC and then boom. I got taken in by Fellow and Giddel. So now I work for Playful Land as the guide attendant.

The spirals are just contacts for laughs and normal eyes are fair.

Me: *bored*

Also me: make my self insert a previous Yuu but gets lost and joined the fucking circus playful land and also gets away using my nickname and not using my real one so the faes can’t control me

Shit I forgot to add like the extra makeup on me

@adrianasunderworld @mangacupcake @writing-heiress @the-weirdos-mind @skboba-stars @nproduction626 @rose-tea-and-strawberries @anxious-twisted-vampire @luxstring @yukii0nna

[personal-blog243]

Another thought experiment/tangent related to the “man vs bear” discourse.

If I was being attacked and had to kill in self defense, I personally would feel more morally conflicted if I had to kill my fellow human being in self defense. I would not feel as bad about killing an animal. 🤷🏼‍♀️ there is a reason why soldiers have higher rates of PTSD than big game hunters.

Obviously proving self defense in court is very difficult for people who aren’t straight white men and the justice system has proven itself not to be in favor of women so that needs to be said.

I also work at a mental health/addiction hospital that has plenty of male patients who have committed horrible acts of violence. Staff are regularly assaulted by the male patients, more than the female ones. However there are very strict rules about how the staff can defend themselves and that is because EVEN VIOLENT PEOPLE HAVE RIGHTS! Protecting patients from abuse is considered higher priority than protecting staff from abuse and that is because of the imbalance of power and protecting the rights of even “bad” people.

Keep in mind the majority of violent people have mental health issues of some sort.

[jasontoddssuper]

"How can you think Percy isn't oblivious/dense?Annabeth and Rick have said he is!"Dude,Annabeth and Rick don't even realize Annabeth's a lesbian,they know nothing

@1clown1 @kyojurolover @genderconfusedhellenic

[bryanbarnes123]

Chin Na techniques Takedowns 14 Northern Praying Mantis Kung Fu Sifu Bryan  Lookout for our next video coming soon showing you the breakdown of this chin na technique. Don't forget to like share and comment and of course subscribe to our YouTube channel if you're new around here, to Kung611 for more inside knowledge and secrets  of Northern Praying Mantis Kung Fu with Sifu Bryan.... enjoy... Until next time... Sifu.

[mansorus]

MIKE TYSON

THE BOXING GOAT 🐐