wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!
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Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave
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my most controversial batman opinion to date
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dynamic duo
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it's not a date btw
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What Jason thinks happened with Tim becoming Robin after him.
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duke: who do you guys think is bruce's favorite child?
jason: it's probably fingerstripes
dick: me?! it's obviously you, jay
tim: it's jason
steph: facts. b lets him get away with everything, including murder
cass: jason
damian: as much as i loathe to admit it, father does treat todd differently
jason: ya'll are trippin'
meanwhile...
clark: b, just curious, but, do you have a favorite child?
bruce: hn, what date is it?
clark: um, may 12th?
bruce: then it's batcow
clark: what
bruce: did i stutter?
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Love the idea of the batfam all being equally unhinged like Tim calls dick every two days with “why’d you take the cameras I use to stalk you down :(“ Dick is always placing trackers on everyone, Bruce just fucking shows up and watches his kids go about their daily lives, Jason’s got eyes all over the city to ping him if someone matching his families description pops up, Barbra is always listening and watching like love that shit
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yes canonically Jason is publicly alive and says that his death was "greatly exaggerated" but I think it would be really fucking funny if he just started showing up to Wayne events one day and the whole family acted like that was normal and Jason doesn't even try to pretend he didn't spend years of his life murdering people in cold blood. Someone says something out of pocket to Damian and he very loudly says "I have Deathstroke's number, if you want that fixed" and tells drunk socialites that he and Bruce got in a fight because "No, Jason, you can't bring three guns and five different kinds of poison to a gala. No, a knife is not any better," and he thinks it's unfair. Someone asks him if he's ever killed someone and he says "Not on American soil" and everyone just has to live with prodigal son Jay Wayne being a hopefully retired mercenary/hitman
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late and very much still a wip but happy superbat week day 4: on a case/undercover!
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My take on the whole 'the JL gets mad at Batman for having a child soldier when he gets robin' thing goes like this:
The League is having a fight with Batman saying it's wrong to bring a child, especially with no powers, into fights with supervillains and it's irresponsible to put children in danger
And Batman interrupts with "so you take him then"
And the League just kind pause, like "huh?"
"One of you can babysit Robin for a week and then we can revisit this discussion."
They're a little confused but eventually Wonder Woman agrees to take him in.
She returns with him a week later. "I apologize Batman, we have misjudged you. I adore him but please take him back now."
(she couldn't get him to stop sneaking out to fight crime without physically restraining him)
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[At a gala]
Janet Drake: Jack, honey, where’s the baby?
Jack Drake: Hm? Oh, Bruce Wayne asked to hold him. I figured he’d be safe.
[Bruce sprinting to the car]
Bruce: Alfred, start the car!
Alfred: Master Bruce, is there a problem? And why do you have the Drake child?
Bruce: Don’t worry about it, let’s just go.
Alfred: Sir, I don’t think the Drake’s would appreciate you abducting their baby.
Bruce: But-
Alfred: No “buts”, sir. Please return him, he is not an orphan.
Bruce: *under his breath* Not yet…
Alfred: SIR-
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baby bird burrito!!! that boy likes to be so cozy! and a part of him never grows out of it….
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