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#modern warfare ii fanfiction
ghostandsoap · 14 days
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Sitting with a Show
John "Soap" MacTavish x Fem! Reader Tags: NSFW. Smut. Cockwarming. Soap being a jerk lol. A/N: Horrible title. Will change it when I come up with something better. Word Count: 1.0k "Your odds are lookin' good."
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"Hey, hey..." Soap warned, his grip on your hips tightening. "Stop it. Watchin' the game here."
"John, this is ridiculous," You hissed. "There will be a million soccer games other than this one."
"Football," He corrected, giving the side of your thigh a smack. "None of that soccer rubbish."
"It's the same thing," You gruffed, whimpering when he shifted his hips underneath you. "Every game is the same."
His tip hit the furthest part inside of you that it could, and your arms and legs were beginning to get fuzzy. Soap's cock had been stuffed inside of you for what felt like hours now - completely hard and prodding at all the right places.
He was perfectly comfortable, sunken into the mattress, propped up just enough so he could properly see the TV that was screaming with bright colors of soccer field turf and fans dressed for their team in the stands. He could see the screen over you, much to your demise.
To be completely honest, this whole ordeal did seem fun at first. It was something different, and something you hadn't tried before. It was arousing to think about Soap being buried inside of you with no promise of friction or relieving stimulation. It was supposed to drive him crazy. It was supposed to make him desperate for you...make him beg for you.
However, it seemed that your devious plan fell apart when he decided to take advantage of it and turn the tables on you.
"I don't know why you're complainin' so much," He chuckled, completely unbothered. "This was your idea, sweet stuff."
So now, you were stuck with him taunting you and torturing you with his cock by doing nothing with it - and he was too invested in his stupid soccer/football game to even think about giving in. His eyes were glued to the TV screen behind you, his gaze barely peeling away for merely a moment.
He was having fun watching you fall apart over his attention being elsewhere in a situation where you were fully naked and at his disposal. The circumstances were great for an even better lovemaking session. But Soap was having too much fun playing the game you originally intended to play.
"I might as well go home at this point," You growled, seriously considering getting up and leaving. "So fucking annoying."
At this point, it was beginning to piss you off more than anything. It was the frustration with his stubbornness and irritation for not getting what you wanted. Frankly, you were beginning to feel bad for previously wishing this upon him.
"Hey...don't be like that," He said in a tone that was demanding, but also sympathetic. "We're havin' fun, princess."
His eyes were set on you now, his irises moving back and forth as he focused on your expression to see if this was beginning to become too much for you. Soap could be a bit intentionally aggressive in the bedroom sometimes, but he never let it get to the point where you weren't enjoying yourself.
He studied carefully, looking for anything that let him know he needed to stop. You were definitely getting antsy, and every minute that passed you were growing more needy.
But you weren't at your breaking point...yet.
"You're having fun," You growled, tears beginning to form in your lower lash line. "I'm not getting-"
To shut you up, Soap gave a quick, firm thrust up into you, making a strained cry leave your throat at the feeling of finally having some kind of movement. Soap let out a low, erotic groan at the sound of your wetness getting pushed around and the sight of it smeared onto his lower stomach made his cock twitch within you. He stayed still for a moment, only moving again when your shoulders relaxed.
He watched your expression as he lifted you off of his cock just enough before sinking you back down, his hips rolling up to thrust into you. You visibly shuddered, a whimpered plea for more sounding from you.
He fucked you slow for a bit, giving you just enough to begin to satisfy you, but not enough to curb your craving for him. He saw your blown pupils and flushed skin, tell-tale signs that you were completely maxed out and ready for more.
Too bad he had a soccer game to watch.
His hip movements stopped, and you were back to square one - completely swallowing his cock between your legs, but no promise or sign of anything more. The look on your face was priceless - an overwhelming expression of disappointment, disbelief, and betrayal. Soap would've felt bad for you...except he didn't.
"You're...you're gonna fuck me, right?" You asked, words breathy and voice barely audible.
He gave a chuckle so mischievous and smug that it almost made you tear up again. He reached for one of your hands, pressing your knuckles to his lips with a smirk.
"Sure, I'll fuck you..." He gave a shit eating grin when he saw your eyes light up. "...if they win."
Against your better judgment, you turned your head to look at the TV, your stomach dropping when you saw that the game was just over halfway through the first half...and the scores were tied. Not only did you have another half to go, but there was a chance that you might make it to the end of the game and receive no end to this torture at all. Maybe if you were lucky, you could convince him during halftime.
Soap laughed again at your agitated look, giving your backside a playful squeeze.
"Cheer up, pretty girl. They've had a good year so far," He said, referring to his preferred team. "Your odds are lookin' good."
Soap wasn't showing any signs of letting up, and you didn't have a choice but to endure the rest of this game and hope for a winning game.
This was going to be the longest game of your life.
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nuancedeaths · 2 months
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The Anatomy of starved dogs (snippet)
From the chapter "Thread and Bone"
This is for my fic "the anatomy of starved dogs". The first chapters are on ao3 💜
Background: its February 2021. Ghost and Soap are sent out on a mission to a Cold War era military base in the mountains to find an important person that could give them a lead on who Makarov was communicating with from out of jail. It goes horribly wrong and they are captured and held prisoner by the Russians before escaping. Now left with some major wounds from their rushed escape process, Soap takes care of Ghost's wounds before they get infected.
Warnings: blood, injury, cleaning of wounds
“I have to take this off, Ghost. You’re going to get an infection from these wounds.” 
“It’ll be fine–” 
“Ghost,” Soap says. “If I don’t fix it up right now, you are going to get an infection, you’ve already lost a lot of blood and you’re already getting pale.” 
“M’not.” 
Soap looks him sternly in his eyes. “Yes, you are.” 
Soap studied his reaction, the way his body tensed up and genuine trepidation settled in his eyes, even with the mask, he can see the hint of shell shock sitting there, there is fear. Soap puts a hand on his shoulder and he flinches, but calms after a moment. 
“Ghost, I don’t know what happened to you, but I can promise you, sure as hell, I don't want to hurt you, I just want to help. And if you don't want to do it for yourself, then do it for me, because I'm sure as hell not making it down this bloody mountain alive alone. But I can't do it unless you let me." 
Ghost considered Soap's words a moment before he relented. 
"Alright." 
Soap tried to offer him a bleak smile. He reached over to pull at the hem of Ghost's shirt but he batted Soap's hands away.
"I'll do it myself," he snapped brashly, tugging the tattered material over his head. It snagged on the edge of his mask and he had to adjust it back into place, seeming a lot more rattled than Soap was hoping for.
Soap avoided the searing look Ghost was giving him as he looked over Ghost's exposed chest. He tries to keep his reaction off his face, but some of it clearly must show. 
"Go on, tell me how ugly it looks or ask me how much it hurt. I know that's what you're thinking."
Soap grits his teeth, swallowing as he looks over the litany of scars etched into the man's pale torso. Patches of burn scar, bullet wounds, knife scars decorated his skin, his honey blond body hair grew sparsely and did no work to conceal the long Y shaped scar that cut across from collarbone to collarbone, dropping down the middle to cut a line that bisected his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his trousers. 
But Soap's immediate concern didn't lie with his old scars. 
He looked up at Ghost, sounding a lot more exasperated than intended. "I just want to fix your wounds." 
Soap took the bowl with the diluted antiseptic and submerged a cotton pad in it, squeezing out a bit of the excess and finding a decently sized gash on Ghost's stomach that had since stopped bleeding. 
He swiped the cotton pad gently over the wound, expecting Ghost to flinch but there's no outward reaction, only the slightest hitch of his breath and tightening of his muscles as the stinging antiseptic seeped into the cut. 
"Sorry, Lt," he still tries to apologise with a grimace, redipping the cotton and using a clean one to wipe down the excess running down from Ghost's wound.  
He's relieved to see that the cut wasn't as deep as he'd initially thought and moves onto the next one that was more awkwardly positioned over his ribs, wiping it down with the same care as the first. 
It's directly over some other old and nasty scar, and he thinks Ghost's reaction was more for the old scar than the new cut that seemed superficial in comparison. But he doesn't ask.
Ghost was always a private man, he'd respect that. 
Soap inspects his arms for cuts. There's nothing on his right but a fair amount on his left, with which he took the brunt of the fall, besides his currently unattended back and neck. 
He can see the tattoo for real now, up close. The design fit his persona perfectly, an amalgamation of everything war and violence related, skulls and bullets. It was an ensemble of violence and hatred pulled together into a sleeve, much against Soap's personal taste and he wondered if it said much about his lieutenant's personality. 
But he can see now, it's old, years old, a decade even. It has faded into his skin enough that Soap can tell. There are new scars, healed and faded over the tattoo and he wipes at the new wound, deeper than the first ones, in hopes that he won't form another scar to add to the rest covering his body. 
As Soap is drying the excess antiseptic, he feels Ghost's muscle flex under his hand and looks down to see Ghost methodically clenching and unclenching his fist as a means of self regulation. 
He’s nervous and for reasons Soap couldn’t quite comprehend, that scares him. 
“You good, Lt?” 
Soap probably shouldn’t have acknowledged it, because Ghost seems even more on edge now, grunting out a clipped “I’m fine,” that gives Soap the clear message he should rather just focus on getting finished as quickly as possible. 
As he finishes up with the last of the cuts on his arm, he turns his attention to Ghost’s back, equally covered in an expanse of old scars, long, deep poorly healed gashes that seemed reminiscent of gashes from being struck with something like leather or chain. 
A strange ache settles in his chest and he cannot stop frowning at the sight of it, even as he cleans up the newer comparatively tamer looking wounds. But if he cannot keep those clean, he’s worried about Ghost picking up an infection or contracting tetanus, if the soil conditions were favourable for the bacteria to be present. 
The cuts closer to his left arm were much deeper than those further away, and there’s blood on the back of his neck. The razor wire seemed to have cut through the mask material and he can only hope it didn’t manage to pierce through the skull patterned face plate. 
He only begins to move the material away from the back of his neck when Ghost’s hand flies up to grip his wrist hard enough for the bones to ache. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” 
Soap sighed, releasing the blood soaked fabric of the mask and Ghost hesitantly retracted his hand. 
“You took a lot of damage to the left side of your body, and there are cuts on your neck, I need to clean them.” 
“I can clean them myself.” 
“You can barely walk, Ghost.” 
“I don’t need to be able to walk to clean cuts.” 
“You can’t see behind your head. I won’t look, I promise.” 
It seems to take an immense amount of effort, and Soap almost begins to worry when Ghost’s fists clench at his sides, but he relents after a minute. 
“Fine, but you stay in your lane, MacTavish. I’m serious now.” 
“You have my word,” he says it now like he’s swearing an oath, hand coming up to his chest to press the combined weight of metal into his sternum. 
With a deep breath from both parties, Soap lightly begins to lift the fabric away from Ghost’s neck, letting the other man take over in removing it from his head entirely. 
He can’t see Ghost’s face, but his hair is lush, dirty blond, neatly trimmed, despite the fact that it was never visible, and from what little he managed to determine from the curve of his jaw alone and the vague rounding of his cheek, was clean shaven. 
The cuts on his neck seemed mostly shallow, which Soap was thankful for, but as he cleans away the blood and dirt, he notices a cut seeping blood into Ghost’s hair near the side of his head. Soap moved aside some of the hair covering the cut to find it had pierced through to the bone and was still bleeding profusely. 
“How much pain are you in?” 
“I’m not going to lie, it fucking hurts.” 
Not that it was anything to measure it by, Soap still tried to offer the man some relief. “There’s some pain meds in the bathroom. Strong stuff, I reckon. Probably prescription. I could get you some, though I’m not so sure you should be taking it on an empty stomach.”
Ghost tensed in a way that Soap didn’t quite want to attribute to the working of his hands, cleaning the blood out of his hair. 
“I don’t take pain meds,” he answered a bit bluntly. 
“You sure, Ghost?" Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, he jokingly adds, "want me to kiss it better, sir?" 
"Hell no, don't know what kind of bacteria's in that mouth of yours." 
Soap laughed lightly, but turned his attention back to the cut in Ghost's scalp and the other deeper ones on his arm. 
"Some of these are deep and probably need to be stitched.” 
“And how do you plan on doing that without a suture kit?” 
Soap grimaced, holding up the plastic packet with needles pushed into a pincushion and a spool of black heavy duty thread. 
“Fucking hell. Alright. Maybe I’ll bite for the pain killers.” 
Soap looked at the thick sewing needle and grimaced. 
"Alright then, I'll see if I can find you something to eat. You might want to cover your face because I need to look through those cupboards," Soap says, and Ghost reached for his mask, finding it now stuck together with drying blood. 
With a heavy sigh, Ghost discards the dirty mask and tugged his discarded shirt closed, holding it to his face with his hand while Soap investigates. 
The cabinets are hopelessly bare. There's the mouldy remains of half a bread sitting under the sink for months, the entrails of some poor slaughtered animal decorate the lip of the kitchen sink, poorly cleaned up but dry enough that Soap knows whoever was here last is long gone. 
The other cupboards show little promise, though Soap finds a handful of unhelpful things, packet of old, damp salt, half a spice packet. 
The small pantry is a bit more promising. A six pack of boxed long life milk, home preserved vegetables in mason jars and an old sack of potatoes that reeks of rot, half of which have pushed shoots through the peeling paper bag. 
A rat scurries away from a sack of grain it had chewed a hole into as Soap moves into the pantry to retrieve a jar of preserved beans, figuring the protein might do them will with little energy, especially to help Ghost recover better. 
Hesitating a moment, he grabs a milk carton as well. 
The writing along the side of it is all in cyrillic and it registers a strange desertedness, Soap had never felt so utterly abandoned and directionless as he feels now.
And now he's gotten the added responsibility of making sure Ghost doesn't kick the bucket under his care. 
Why is this so damn stressful? 
"I got something," Soap says to cut off the negative thought. 
"Beans…" Ghost said bluntly. 
"Beans and milk." 
Soap got two bowls and divided the small jar equally between the two. He decides to heat the milk on the stove, figuring that the warmth might do them some good. 
Though he's itching to make a fire, the smoke would be a dead giveaway, so he lights the little gas stove and hopes there will be enough for them. 
He takes the warm milk and beans and leaves it for Ghost on the table. Ghost waits for him to fetch the bottle of pain meds and he puts it down on the table harder than necessary, as of to present it all to Ghost who looked up at him wordlessly. 
"There you go, Lt." 
For a moment, Ghost looked at him with an unreadable expression. 
It strikes Soap that this is the first time he's seen this much of the man. All he could ever see of his skin was perhaps a sliver of wrist skin between his sleeve and the edge of his gloves, or how intense his eyes were, but it strikes him as odd now. 
Ghost's body was covered in scars and old marks garnered from years of military service, but it somehow didn't change the image Soap had created of him in his mind, the thing that did throw him off a bit was how soft Ghost's eyes were under the mask. 
He'd always thought his eyes had a dark and piercing gaze that could intimidate most people, but like this, they were not nearly as dark as he thought they were, more a striking warm amber than rich ebony brown. 
In another situation, he might have thought the combination of his soft blond hair and wide, almost nervous eyes should have looked beautiful on a woman. 
That combination had certainly looked pretty on the other boys he’d been with, but he cuts that thought off. That time in his life was over. 
Soap gritted his teeth, purposely averting his gaze to his hands. 
Soap moved behind Ghost so that he could lower the fabric from his face and begin picking at the beans. Its nothing five star, but it was all infinitely better than the hunger they have felt for the past twenty-four hours.
The warm milk is soothing on his still aching throat. 
He sees over Ghost’s shoulder as he uncaps the bottle and knocks two small white tablets into his hand. He hesitates a moment as he checks the instructions and the warnings on the label once more before knocking them back and swallowing it down with the last of the milk. 
“We should probably give it a minute to kick in before we begin,” Soap says grimly, not particularly looking forward to the idea. He checks over the cuts again, relieved to see they’ve stopped bleeding but he’s sure they’ll need to be stitched now, any sort of movement would split them open again. 
 “How long do we wait?” Ghost asks. 
“Dunno.”
“Hopefully this stuff’ll make it better but painkillers, of any calibre, definitely aren't going to replace local anaesthesia.” 
Soap felt his resolve cave a little. He had forgotten about that in the haze of things.
“Fuck. You’re right.” 
“I’m assuming you’ve never done this before?” 
Soap scoffed at Ghost’s tone. “Well, have you ever had to use  grandma’s sewing kit to stitch up your superior officer after he fell into a roll of razor wire, running from Russians with guns?”
“Maybe I have, you wouldn’t know.” 
Ghost was definitely taking the piss. 
“No shot, bet you have tons of cool war stories but this is definitely a new one for the album.” 
“What album?” 
Soap smiled. “The metaphorical one documenting our working together.” 
“You make it sound like we’re married.”
“Hell, Lt. We practically fight like we are.” 
Ghost laughs. “That’s just ‘cause you don’t know how to follow orders.”
“And you don’t know how to take a bit of help when you need it,” Soap shot back. He reached for the sewing kit and pulled out a needle that seemed suitable. 
Soap goes off to the bathroom to wash his hands, sterilising it with the lighter he'd gotten off the Russian's body and set to work threading the menacing black thread onto the needle. 
He'll only stitch the two deepest ones, the ones that will definitely pop open with movement. 
“I’ll do the one on your shoulder first. I know its a lot to ask, but try not to flinch, I don’t want to make it worse.” 
There’s a heaviness that settles over them the second Soap touches the needle to Ghost’s skin. 
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m0chac0ffee · 11 months
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"What are you doing?"
"Coloring in your tattoo sleeve."
"I know, but... why?"
"Because I want to."
Simon scoffed playfully as he moved his arm closer so you had easier access to his entire sleeve, and willingly turned his arm whenever you needed him to.
"'M done!"
"Very colorful..."
"Yeah, you like it?"
He nodded his head. But he didn't just like it, he absolutely loved it.
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mockerycrow · 11 months
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go back to sleep baby its okay with könig 😩
400 Follower Celebration
—“Go back to sleep, baby, it’s okay.”— With König
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[WARNINGS: None; fluff.]
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It was often you spent nights alone in your house; although two live here, only one often occupies the space. You work a regular job while your boyfriend works in the military—König isn’t home too often, so you’re used to sleeping on the giant mattress alone. You would have gotten an animal by now, but certain animals make König anxious due to their usage out on the field. He tries his best to leave his job at the door so he can come back home to you be the one you need, but it can be hard.
A good way he settles down is relaxing, whilst either being held or holding you. König uses you to ground himself to a different reality he must live in to survive in the field. Your house isn’t too big, but when König’s gone? It’s massive to you. Spending your nights alone unless maybe you call a friend over, but that’s rare. You see your home as your space, as his space.
You’re sleeping peacefully on your bed, using König’s pillow with your arms wrapped around it. A thick blanket lays over you that’s also König’s, and of course, to add it on top; you’re wearing his clothes. What can you say? You miss him. You’re awoken by a heavy dip in the bed and large arms being wrapped around you, and you automatically wake up and assume it’s König, greeting the once quiet air with a soft “hmm?”
You hear a quiet and raspy voice shush you, “Go back to sleep, baby, it’s okay.” He sounds absolutely exhausted, his heavy arm limp around you. You hum again and slowly flip over to the other side, digging your head into his warm chest, your arms wrapping around him too. You don’t say anything as you let him melt against you, and you slowly drift back to sleep, faster than you usually do because you sleep well when he’s near.
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tacticaldiary · 10 months
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Can you do a fic where reader and simon are kidnapped and simon has to watch reader be tortured and creeped on by their kidnapper for information.Happy endibg with them being rescued.Ignore if it makes you uncomfortable :)
Captured In Tandem
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Content Warning: Torture, Men being creepy, mentions of sexual assault
"I'll give you a choice." He says, cocking the gun. "Shall I put a bullet through you, or her?"
He's been trained to keep his mouth shut, taught himself from enough pain to span a lifetime, but never did he fathom she'd be dragged into it with him. It's unforgivable.
Masterlist, Part 2
A/N: This is literally one of my favourite tropes-
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The first thing he registers is the pounding in his head. Squeezing his eyes shut, Ghost claws his way back to consciousness, sluggish mind attempting to click the pieces swimming in his head together into a cohesive narrative.
He was asleep...no, he was unconscious. Why? Ghost doesn't open his eyes for a moment, gathering his bearings. His senses snap to him quickly. The metallic smell of blood, the scent of gunpowder. The hard wood under him...a wooden chair? He exhales sharply, charting the sharp stinging in his side.
Injured.
He can't move his hands, ropes digging into the skin above his gloves. Once he's grasped back his control, steadied his breathing into something calm and acceptable, he takes a second to listen. There's nothing but the steady dripping of what he assumes is water on the floor. A pipe?
He's cold. His hands are freezing and so is his face-
His face?
Ghost's eyes snap open at the realisation.
His mask was gone, ripped off and on the floor by his feet. He's tied to a chair. He doubts he'd have gotten such a warm welcome if he was back at base right now, so where...?
An RPG, he suddenly remembers, a sour taste in the back of his throat. They had been on an OP with Price, the team had been split into two, sent to clear out a building on the outskirts of the city, tasked to meet in the middle.
An unaccounted armed squad had aimed at them with an RPG. Ghost remembers barking out an order to his partner, shoving her roughly out of the way behind a beat up car. The rocket hit the car, igniting the engine causing it to explode, the both of them thrown back against the brick wall behind them and-
Her.
His blood runs cold at the sound of a small groan from in front of him.
Shit.
Slowly, he raises his head and his stomach drops at the sight of her opposite to him in the same state.
Shit. No, this was all wrong. The RPG must have knocked them both out. They'd been captured.
"Fuck, my head." She groans, blinking herself awake. Like him, he can tell she's charting up the extent of her injuries, piecing together the events leading up to their capture.
Price would find them soon. They can't have hauled them too far away under the threat of them waking up mid transportation.
"Sleep well?" He rasps, watching her still, head snapping up to look at him.
"Best I've ever had." She responds dryly, looking him up and down. Her eyes linger on the dried blood staining his shoulder. It's a miracle the both of them ended up as unscathed as they did. Only bruises and scrapes, miraculously. She yanks on her bindings, scowling when they don't budge. Ghost can see the angry red marks around her wrists, the same as his. "We're in for a treat, huh?" She laughs humourlessly, leaning back in her chair. "Don't suppose you keep any knives hidden in your sleeves, L.T?" Half joking. She wouldn't be surprised if he did.
"Can't feel 'em." He grunts. "Must have searched us."
Of course they did.
She shifts in her seat, hating the idea of hands touching and probing at her when she's not awake to bat them away. Ghost would be just as, if not more uncomfortable with the thought, if the angry furrow in his brow is anything to interpret.
Voices. Footsteps. Both of them go rigid in their chairs, eyes snapping to the other. No words are exchanged, but a slight raise of the chin from her. They would not break.
She knows exactly what's to come for them for the next however long it took for their team to retrieve them. She's been through this before, been trained for it, seen it happen, hell she's even participated on being the one not in the chair.
They wouldn't break. The knowledge they have could compromise more than just their current operations. Ghost acknowledges the shaky exhale she lets out, casts her an unreadable look before the door swings open behind him, his eyes turning cold once more.
If she notes the tension in his shoulders, she doesn't mention it.
Three men walk into the room, mumbling under their breath. Russian. A quick glance to confirm the other caught it.
The thing with the both of them is that they worked better together than anybody else in the team. Working in tandem, information exchanged with just a glance, seemingly in tune with every thought and movement of the other. It's why they were almost always paired together.
"Some of the best your the military has to offer, you are.." He smiles, flicking through the file. "It seems I have struck a goldmine." The file snaps shut, is handed off the someone else.
She hopes the motherfucker gets a nasty papercut.
                               · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
They come twice a day. Once for him, once for her.
Ghost keeps his mouth shut, isn't surprised when she does as well. The both of them have been trained for situations like this, have both gone through a lot of shit that renders them capable of handling it.
It's her that he hasn't been trained to account for.
Ghost had only jeered at the men that interrogated him. Drenched after being waterboarded, bloody from being cut and beat, he had not given them a single thing to work with, taking what they threw at him with a calm, strong, cool exterior.
It was when they turned to her that he felt that crack.
Every knife turned against her, every crack of her bones, each small sound of pain that left her had an anger he'd never felt before bubble up inside him. Glaring death into the people who lay their hands on her as they questioned her, he stayed silent, unmoving as they put her through the same routine as him.
"Not long before they find us now." She'd said hoarsely after the second day. They'd just left them after being unsuccessful in loosening their tongues. Again. He takes in how her arm bends at a strange angle (He'd never forget the scream that teared out of her throat when they snapped it in half), the cuts dripping blood onto the floor and on her tattered clothes (Each one he'd pay back tenfold, he swears), and the exhaustion lining her face the same way he's sure he looks.
Being unmasked...it makes him more on edge than usual.
It's nothing she'd never seen before. She'd touched his bare face countless times, mumbled promises and declarations they had no business making against his lips at night. It had always been in private, shielded from the eyes of others. Now, out in the open, he was more aware of his reactions than ever before, refusing to let out any reaction except for the occasional grunt of pain.
"They're sure taking their damn time." He spits out.
"Gonna give them an earful when I get back." She cough, watery. Ghost's eyes widen when blood splatters to the floor. "Shit." She breathes, inhaling shakily.
Internal bleeding. A telltale sign.
He yanks against his bindings for the hundredth time. Nothing changes aside from more blood trickling down his torn open skin.
"Don't think about it." He orders. "Look here." When she doesn't listen, just blinking at the blood she coughed up as if in a trance, he repeats himself roughly, drawing her attention.
"Right here. Keep your eyes on me." He commands, and it's all she can do to let instinct take over and listen to his low voice. "That's it, love. Good."
She opens her mouth. Shuts it. Swallows dryly and tries again. "If I-"
"Shut up."
"Ghost." She says weakly, "It's a possibility, and if-"
"I told you to shut up." He hisses, fixing her with a glare.
She was in a much worse state than him. Far bloodier. They were rougher with her, thinking she'd be the first one to break, to concede under pain and answer their questions.
Safehouses, plans, locations, inner workings. The intel they stole a month ago. They wanted to know answers that neither of them would ever give them.
The door swings open. The man from the first day walks in, in crisp clothes, wrinkling his nose and the sight of them.
The sight makes Ghost pause. He was in charge here, clearly. This kind of work wasn't normally put on people like that, which meant that things were getting serious. Something had sparked urgency in them if they were seeing this guy. Something had changed.
The 141.
As if on cue, there's the distant sound of gunfire, and the building trembles slightly, dust cracking down from the ceiling. It's ignored by the man completely.
"Admirable, you are." He addresses them. "But I'm afraid there's not time for a soldier's pride during war." They stiffen when he pulls out a revolver from his pocket, clicking open the empty chamber. "I require answers. Call it compensation for what was stolen from me. I don't think you understand that I will get my way in the end. By whatever means necessary."
A single bullet. Loaded into the chamber. Ghost follows the movement with his eyes.
"I'll give you a final chance to be cooperative before I give you a choice." The Russian says evenly, looking at them both in turn.
"Go to hell." Ghost drawls. In his bloodied, beaten state, weak from blood loss and in a disarray from being tortured, he seems to look even more intimidating than usual.
The man sighs deeply. He clicks the chamber shut.
He aims at her and fires.
She barely has the chance to tense before a click fills the room. Nothing. It's when he turns the gun to Ghost that her breath catches in her throat, panic clawing it's way up and through her veins.
Ghost does not flinch. Does not wince or react, merely holds her gaze calmly, in that reassuring steady way he always has.
Click. Nothing.
He continues moving back and forth between them until there's only one chamber left. An undeniable bullet inside. The man turns to Ghost, a smile on his face.
"The choice you have, my friend, is which one of you I put this bullet through."
Ghost visibly stiffens in his chair, fixes him with a scathing stare.
"If you refuse to answer, I have no issue shooting you both." He says evenly, weighing the revolver in his hands. "So who will it be? You, or your lady?" He points the gun back and forth, her heart in her throat.
Me. She thinks. Pick me. The thought of him taking that bullet when there's a choice for her to instead makes her sick.
But it's Ghost. And he's selfless in the most annoying of ways.
"Me." He says tightly, the words forced out and full of venom.
The Russian grins, pleased, raising the gun. She's about to yell at him, tell him to shoot her instead-
She doesn't have to.
The gun turns to her, fires, and pain explodes in her right thigh, wrenching out a scream from between her clenched teeth as she doubles over. Her vision goes black for a second and she can't breathe.
Yelling. There's yelling over the ringing in her ears. Ghost shouts profanities at the man, threats and growls as his chair scrapes against the floor at his attempts to get loose.
He breaks.
The Russian simply laughs, tucking his gun away.
Where the fuck were they? Where were the others? The team? They were close, that much was obvious, so why the fuck weren't they here yet, then?
She gasps when her head is wretched back painfully by her hair, pain thrumming through her like sharp needles as she's forced to straighten up. It hurts, fuck, it hurts worse accompanied with every other goddamn thing wrong with her right now.
"You just couldn't seem to stop looking at her. I thought It'd be more of an incentive to loosen your tongue." He chuckles at Ghost's fury.
"They won't find your body." He hisses, low and threatening, eyes wild. "I'll make sure you're in so many pieces you-"
"I understand why, though." He continues on like Ghost isn't threatening great bodily harm on him. "She's quite the beaty isn't she? Even under all that gore...so easy on the eyes."
She had taken beating after beating. Cracked ribs, cuts and bruises, waterboarding and being prodded with a hot poker, but this? The lecherous way he looks her up and down, yanks he head back farther to expose her neck? It makes her blood run cold, her heart stop.
His breath fans across her face, acrid and disgusting. A choked sob tears out of her lips when his hand trails up her body, grabbing and yanking and pulling in places he has no right to touch. Her head spins from the bullet wound and the pain, and it takes a lot to gather her thoughts.
"Motherfucker-" Ghost snarls.
"I know you're bad at sharing but you wouldn't mind if I had a taste, would you?" He croons at Ghost, who jolts in his chair, pulling at his bleeding broken skin to get loose. "Not that you can do much but watch." He laughs.
This, she would not let happen. She would not let him take something that was hers and hers alone to give to whomever she decided. When he leans down farther, she gathers all her remaining strength and rears her head back, smashing it into his nose.
The satisfying crunch of bone and yell of pain makes it all worth it, draws a smile from her, even if his blood splatters the side of her face.
"Bitch." He spits out. A hand cracks across her face so hard black spots float over her vision. She cries out as it jostles her leg, her broken arm, all her cuts and and he ribs. Before she can gather her bearings, a searing pain pierces through her side, the Russian's knife driving straight into her flesh. She can't help the choked scream that leaves her, hears the way Ghost shouts, his struggling intensifying.
He wretches her out of the chair, shoves her to the floor. Tears track down her bloodied cheeks, not out of fear, but out of pure pain and anger. Disgust, pain and rage is what she feels when the Russian straddles her hips, keeping a hand on her broken arm to keep her down. His other one wraps around her neck, squeezing roughly to cut off her air.
"Answer my questions." He seethes at Ghost. "Your safehouses, the intel you fucking stole from us. Where are they!? Tell me or you'll see this pretty thing die." As if to prove his point, he squeezes harder, making her choke.
Ghost spits out threats that would make any normal man quiver. He would rip this man apart. Rip into him slowly with all his knives, prolong it as much as he could. Days, maybe even weeks. He deserved to die by his hands for what he's done to her, for touching someone so wholly and utterly his. Every single cut he'd return tenfold, twice as deep.
Part of her wants to succumb to the darkness edging her vision, but she's afraid if she does she might never wake up. She couldn't die. Not here, not like this. Ghost...Simon would blame himself, she knows it. He'd replay it over and over again, wonder if he could have done anything to prevent it.
"Get the fuck off of her!" He seethes. Seeing her under him, red in the face and bleeding, dying makes panic tear through him, a horrible desperate feeling he can't help but succumb to. She wasn't going to die, he wouldn't allow it.
Not her. Not her. Anyone but her. Take me instead.
The world was fucking cruel.
The past year had been the best of his life. The lightest, the most at peace he'd ever felt. Loving her came easily, naturally. Something he couldn't help even when he tried to push her away.
Her eyes catch Ghost's. His are desperate and frantic in a way she's never seen before. That...that was panic. But that couldn't be right because Ghost? He didn't panic. He planned and adapted, got angry and was calm. Panicking? She'd never seen it before.
Fuck. She wasn't going to die. She...was, wasn't she? Already, her vision was slipping away, her hearing going muffled. No. No, this isn't it. Not here, not like this.
If she died, Simon might, as well, and she loved him to much to leave him in a situation like this.
Clenching her jaw, she blindly reaches her bound hands to her side. When her fingers brush against the hilt of the dagger inside her flesh, she pauses.
It was the only thing keeping her from bleeding out faster than her bullet wound was already doing...
She yanks it out with all the strength she has left, slams it into the throat of the man above her. He's too busy with Ghost to chart her up as a threat. The way his eyes bug out of his head as he releases her throat in favour of clutching his own has a sob ripping through her mangled throat as she gasps in greedy gulps of air.
She shoves the man off her and in movements wild and jerky, climbs on top of him switching their positions. Ripping the knife out of his throat, she yells a broken shout as she brings it down over his chest. Then his shoulder, his neck. His chest. Over and over again, tears blurring her vision, adrenaline making her shaky, she drives the knife into him again and again thinking about nothing but killing him, taking his life so he couldn't take theirs, so she could feel her skin stop itching from the way she was touched.
"-dead, he's dead!" A voice floats to her, far, far away.
A name...her name. Her movements slow down as she recognises Ghost's voice calling out at her. Confused, disorientated, she glances over her shoulder, pausing, chest heaving.
"You're alright, sweetheart." He says, his eyes a fraction wider than usual. "Here, look at me. Right here, love." He waits till she drags her gaze up. "He's dead. It's enough."
Enough.
The word cracks something in her, the knife clattering onto the stone floor and she looks down at the bloody, unrecognisable mess under her. Scrambling off of him, she leans over and vomits up bile; acrid and burning her throat as it comes out. A strangled sob leaves her as she finishes, realising the sheer amount of blood on her. Her hand shakily goes to her side, comes back bloody in a way that makes her head spin.
"Grab the knife." Ghost urges, looking ready to try to snap the chair under him himself to reach her. "Can you do that for me? Pass me that knife." When she doesn't respond the way he wants, Ghost takes in a shaky breath and repeats himself, voice hard.
"Sergeant. The knife." He commands, low and deep and urgent.
Still a soldier despite her trembling, her body reacts to the order automatically, head clearing. Swallowing, she moves slowly, agonisingly to reach the knife.
"You're doing good." Ghost praises when she drops the knife for the second time from her shaky fingers. "Bring it here."
The moment the knife reaches his fingertips, he cuts through his bonds, kneeling in front of her, cutting hers off too. "I've got you." He murmurs, pulling her close, laying her over his lap as gently as he can as he looks over her. He doesn't really need to, it's more instinct to do so. Ghost was watching her the entire time. He knows the location of every single one of her injuries.
Swearing under his breath, he leans over, roughly rips part of the dead man's shirt off, bunching it up and pressing it against each of her two wounds. She whimpers, a strangled sound that makes him clench his jaw in rage and worry.
"I know it hurts." He consoles her while he secures another part of the shirt around the wounds. "You did well, it's over now." Mindless talk. He just needed to keep her awake.
Her hand closes over his, stilling him as he ties the final knot.
"'m sorry." She breaths, shallow and short. "Can't...Just go." She shoves weakly at his shoulder, and the incredulous, angry look Simon gives her would have been funny if everything wasn't on fire inside her.
"I'm not fucking leaving you, you dolt." He snaps, slowly pulling her up so she's sitting. The way she bites her lip hard to keep in the whine of pain doesn't escape him. "Easy." He says, supporting her despite his own screaming ribs. His left leg was mangled up, ankle dislocated so Ghost doubts he'd be walking with her out of here.
It was too risky. They could run into someone armed, and at such a disadvantage...no, it was better to stay here and wait for the others to show up.
Her eyes flutter, panic slams into him.
"None of that." He demands, prodding her forehead to make her focus. "Keep those pretty eyes on me, love."
A small huff from her that might have been a laugh sends her into a harsh coughing fit. "'m trying Simon." She whispers, words slur.
"Try harder." He squeezes her closer to him, keeping an ear out for footsteps.
"So hard to please." Barely a whisper. "You...you're okay?"
"Christ, woman," he huffs, leaning down to press his lips against her bloody forehead. "I'm better off than you."
A slight smile, her eyes fluttering shut. The loose grip she'd had on Ghost's vest slackens. His bloods turns to ice.
"Hey." He tries, calls out her name. "Hey!" He yells it this time, shakes her gently. Then rougher when she doesn't wake up, breath stuck in his throat. No. No, she was still breathing, he chest rising and falling in shallow breaths.
This wouldn't work. Ghost steels himself and stands up, gritting his teeth at the pain that radiates up his leg into his whole body. Ignoring it, he hauls her up in his arms, stumbles slightly.
Staying here wasn't an option anymore, not when she was unconscious, not when the small puffs of breath against his neck could stop at any moment, not when he could lose her.
Gripping onto the small bloody knife, he limps towards the door, pushes it open without hesitation.
He'd walk for a mile like this if it meant he'd get to hear her laugh again. Fuck his own injures, her wellbeing was more important. Ghost moves the knife between his teeth, bone clacking against metal, metallic blood on his tongue. Hiking her up more securely, he starts down the hall, intending to find his team before they found him.
He'd die before he ever let her bleed out on his watch.
                               · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·  
Her hearing comes to her first. Muffled, but still present. Under the dark haze of sleep, she hears muffled noises. The steady beeping of a machine, the rustling of bedsheets nearby. A voice talking int he distance, something she's unable to make out.
It takes too much out of her. Her mind is sluggish, thinking is hard, so sinking back into the arms of whatever is pulling her down is easier. Painless.
The second time her sense of touch returns.
Someone's holding her hand. Rough, calloused fingers, running up and down her palm, soothing gestures than accompany the beeping that she realises is a heart monitor. The familiar pressure, the roughness of those hands, the soothing movements...it lulls her back to sleep almost immediately.
The third time is quick.
Her sight returns last, One moment she's seeing darkness, the next she's blinking up at white florescent lights, the clean scent of hospital waking her up. What...?
Pushing herself up, a gasp tears out of her throat when she finds herself unable to move. Blinking and looking down, she swallows as she sees herself.
Covered in bandages, a cast around her arm. Heavy wrapping around her thigh and chest. All of her is stiff and achy. It all comes back to her in a rush.
The chair. The ropes. The bullets and beatings.
The blood.
Her stomach lurches at the memories. Simon? Where was Simon? He made it out, right? What if-
Her mind immediately settles down when she spots him. Ghost lays on the hospital bed next to hers, eyes shut, chest steadily rising up and down. Relief slams into her so hard tears prick her eyes. They made it out. Both of them. For a moment she thought...
The need to be near him, to touch him, to make sure he's real wins over her desire to stay put and ward of any discomfort. Her second attempt at moving is successful, only because of the strong pain meds dulling the edge of pain she's feeling.
Slowly, she pulls herself to the edge of the hospital bed, gingerly lowering herself onto the ground. She gasps when her leg protests, the one she was shot in. Testing her weight, she glances desperately at Simon, still sleeping. She needed him, needed to touch him, to feel him under her hands, solid and real.
She uses the walls to support her, shuffling over until she's in front of his bed. After taking a moment to gather herself and breathe, she reaches out with a shaky hand, places it on his cheek. Her throat closes at the feeling of his warm skin.
Ghost being Ghost wakes up instantly at the touch. Eyes snapping open, instantly alert even when just waking up.
Relief fills his face, something so powerful it makes a small sound push past her lips, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. "You're okay." She whispers, hoarse from not talking.
"You shouldn't be up." He responds, propping himself up with a wince she doesn't miss. He frowns at the way she trembles, looking her up and down slowly.
"I just..." She brings a hand up to wipe off her tears. "Sorry if I woke you." A watery chuckle. "Just needed to make sure, you know?"
"I do." He admits. Ghost's hand slips up her uninjured arm, guiding her onto the bed with him until she's laying down. A long, shaky exhale pushes itself out of her as she lays her head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, quicker than usual but still steady soothes her instantly. He was familiar, the dips in his body, the hard muscle and those arms. It was so achingly familiar she wanted to cry.
Having her here, having her in her arms and holding her...it was almost too much to bear. Ghost had never felt relief like this.
11 days.
11 days she hadn't woken up, each one made him more irritable, restless, snappy. He was ordered to stay in bed, but he got out of it every night to sit next to her, holding her hand, just silently watching over her. 11 days was plenty of time for him to think, to run through everything he did to figure out a way he could have prevented this.
It was plenty of time to realise that he'd never take her for granted, even if there was a gun to his head.
He'd carried her all the way out of the building until he'd spotted Gaz. The poor bloke had done a double take at them, shouted something frantically in his comms and ran at them.
Ghost had forced himself to stay awake as the others arrived, forced himself to make sure she got the care she needed, sat awake with the the entire time on the heli, until they got to the hospital. Only then had he let himself get checked over and crashed hard, exhausted in a way that ran deep into his bones.
"I'm glad you're okay." He says quietly into her hair, strong arms pulling her close, their bodies intertwined.
"Are you sure this is okay?" She asks, though the way she sinks into him says she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. "Don't want to accidently hurt you or reopen anything."
"You're worse off than me, I think I should be the one worrying about that." He responds, rubbing small circles on her waist. Soothing. Calming.
"I'll always worry." She mumbles against his chest, already feeling sleep pulling her in.
"Your downfall." He huffs, pressing his lips to her forehead for a long moment. "Thought I lost you." The admission is something vulnerable, real. Painful.
"Rather me than you." She responds, eyes slipping shut.
"Say that again and see where it lands you." He grumbles, arms tightening around her. Being as helpless as he was in that situation wasn't something he'd ever forget. Having to sit there, watch those bastards touch her, hurt her, forcing himself to look impassive and cold. Unreacting.
It had been a worse torture than any of their knives.
The second he was cleared to leave the medbay, he was going on a nice little trip back. He'd retrace his steps, get Price to get him the name of every. Single. Motherfucker that had been in the building that day.
Every single one would meet a fate worse than death itself could present them with.
They'd pray for the reaper before Ghost was done with them. He'd make them beg, draw out every single scrape they left on her until they begged to be spared. Only then would Ghost let them bleed out, nice and slow. Maybe he'd even do it one at a time, make the others watch.
They're dark thoughts, but the fury that had been boiling inside him for the past two weeks needed to an outlet, and what better place than the very bastards that had dared to lay their hands on her? The thought pacifies him for now.
He's assured his revenge, but she's more important than anything like that could ever be to him.
"I'm sorry I scared you. You can't get rid of me that easy, though. Thought you knew that by now." Completely unfazed by his threat.
"I wouldn't want to." He assures her, rolling his eyes. "It'd be a bloody shame to lose someone like you, love."
It makes her smile against him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. Safe. She was safe here.
It doesn't take long before she's drifted off again, securely in his arms.
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Part 2
(09/07/2023)
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kivino · 7 months
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kivi.. pls hear my vision. different situations where reader and ghost hug because he’s too afraid to say “i love you” at the moment, but both of you know what his hugs mean. PLEAAASEEE AGHH (and gn!reader ofc)
HUSH || SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X GN!READER
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Word counter - ~1k words
A/n - PLSS i love your idea so much, he'd be awfully awkward, but we love him for it <3333
ao3 link for this fic
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The first time Simon hugged you like this, unprompted and spontaneous, you froze. He felt warm, huge, a bit awkward and out of place but genuine, true. He wanted to tell you so many things he had on his mind, but he just couldn’t, lips sealed under that skull balaclava, leaning into you and squeezing so hard you couldn’t even return the hug. Minutes spent in this position felt like a whole eternity.
“Simon, what are you…”
“Shut up.”
So, you did. Hearing his steady breathing close to your ear, even feeling his heartbeat against your chest…and how fast it was. He was nervous. That was surprisingly sweet. You felt a smile tugging on the corners of your mouth when you heard him exhale and squeeze you even tighter in his arms. You don’t question his behavior when he reluctantly lets you go.
Each hug he gives you feels like home. As you make your way back from the draining mission, Simon rests his arm around your shoulders and leans against you, while the two of you sit next to each other, finding comfort in each other’s presence. His head bumps into yours, so you shift slightly against him, and it finally slots in the crook of your neck. And then you realize. He’s sleeping. Soap, who’s sitting on the opposite side of you gives you a cheeky smile.
“Not a word.” You hiss at him, rolling your eyes.
Simon was rarely vulnerable. It was never the time or the place, after all, he dedicated his whole life to being a soldier – resourceful, capable, and strong. There wasn’t any space for his feelings. But with you, he always felt accepted. Whenever he needed you were right there, with your familiar features, warm smile, and open arms. And each time Simon found himself snaking his arms around your torso, closing his eyes, and inhaling your smell he caught himself thinking only one thing.
“I love you.”
He lost count of the times when he opened his mouth to finally say it, only to close it mere seconds later, rethinking his decision completely. Next time. Next time he’ll tell you. But that next time never comes. So, Simon remains stuck in this endless cycle of fruitless attempts to bare his soul for you, only to lose his voice and fall silent, hoping you’ll connect the dots yourself. Still, he was happy to be in your arms. And happiness likes silence, after all. So maybe his lack of words was for the best.
God, how much he loves you. Simon would spend his whole life in your embrace if he could, not a worry in the world as he basks in your warmth, something he craved desperately for years now. Something that would probably fill this gaping hole in his chest after he lost so much. He didn’t like being this walking one-man pity party he felt he was sometimes, but you made it easier. Simon had no idea how you just wormed your way into his heart so swiftly, but he’d take it. Whatever it was about you, you were special to him, and he was not letting you go.
“Earth to Simon, you there?” You look up at him from the tight embrace he once again trapped you in while smoking on the balcony. The night was surprisingly cold, so instead of lending you his jacket, Simon just pulled you in for an embrace, telling you to clasp your arms behind his back. You enjoyed this alone time with him, and you prayed that he wouldn’t pick up on your staring. One of the few times when he finally takes off his damn mask, and you’re worried about him catching onto you looking. And how could you not? His eyes looked like boundless, hypnotizing abyss in the glow of a flickering lightbulb.
“Simon to Earth, how copy?” He smirks, noticing your prolonged stare, and you see the embers of mischief dancing in his irises. Now it was his turn to tease you. Bastard. He chuckles at the sight of you flustered.
“Oh, fuck off.” You let go of him, getting out of the warm hug and giving his chest a slight push. Simon should know better than to tease you. You immediately feel significantly colder than before, but instead of returning to his embrace, you shove your hands in the pockets of your trousers. His eyes flicker towards your huddled form, but he doesn’t say anything, once again.
Simon doesn’t say anything even when you’re laying on top of him, like a weighted blanket, making his mind wander in a sleepy daze. He drinks up every single detail in front of him, the way your eyelashes flutter, the warmth you’re radiating, or how your face is pressed against his chest. Simon is more than sure that if you were awake right now, you could hear how fast his heart beats for you. It’s embarrassing, really. But Simon just can’t help himself. So, he squeezes you even tighter with one arm, his fingers lingering on your hair with a feather-light touch.
Maybe…maybe right now is the time. You’re sleeping. You won’t hear him anyway and he’ll be able to get so much weight off his shoulders. Simon feels something inside his chest ache, a bittersweet feeling rolling on his tongue. He knew it was foolish, but he needed that. Simon could already feel his insides tossing and turning in this uncomfortable, anxious anticipation of…something. He wasn’t quite sure of what.
But it’s now or never. So, he cranes his neck slightly and his lips touch your forehead for a short second. The touch is intimate and bashful, but it sends euphoric butterflies right through his stomach, along with that sweet, tender ache in his chest.
“I love you” Simon manages to whisper, as he lays back down, trying not to disturb your sleep any more than he already has. A shaky breath escapes his lips. He did it. He actually did it. Simon closes his eyes with another exhale, not even catching the way a faint smile appears on your face.
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konigsblog · 8 months
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im gonna run the bath, but the idea of sharing a bath with könig just ruins me, as it's so sweet 🎀 it could be comforting, or not, and i'd still love it regardless. 🛁
könig barely fits in the bathtub as it's not made for someone of his stature; brute, tall and brooding. the clear water overflows from the edge, covering the floor in soapy, bubbly water whilst you sit on his large lap, gazing up at him while massaging his shoulders. your bodies become warm and soaked from the foamy bubbles, hotter as the water heats your forms up, and his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you to his burly chest while he ruffles your hair, tangling them in your hair and tilting your head to gaze up at him with those adoring, sweet eyes that he just can't get enough of.
covering your pretty face in kisses 'til you're giggling and squirming, batting his hands away as he goes to cup your face. you don't even notice how long you'd been in there, too focused on the black eye paint smeared on his face and that smile you'd grown to adore and love, poking fun at him while he teases you back for being so clingy and needy for his attention.
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madsfrank · 3 months
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Imagine Simon just needing you…
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Needy! Simon who calls you any second he can. If you don’t pick up, he’s texting you. Making sure you know how much he misses you.
Needy! Simon who always has an arm slung over you in public. Who makes sure that you always have some connection to him.
Needy! Simon who is always giving you something of his. Dog tags, shirt, watches, etc. Doesn’t matter. He wants you to have something of his that smells like him. So you can feel close when he’s away.
Needy! Simon being so close to you when you fall asleep. He’s more of a little spoon, his arms wrapping around your waist and his head finding itself flush against your neck.
Needy! Simon who loves to kiss you in any place he can. At anytime. His favorite time to be with you is in those lazy mornings, which he loves. Just snuggling up behind you on a couch while you drink coffee as he kisses the back of your neck and shoulders.
Needy!Simon who is standing almost on top of you while you work on your hobbies. You drawing? Show him. Writing? He wants to read it. If you kick him out of the room…he’s scratching at the door like a dog.
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nia-writes · 1 year
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How they wake you up in the mornings~
A/N: this is based on them being off duty~~
Warnings: Slight NSFW in Prices, mentions of reader panicking.
Ghosty~
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Normally: This man is up at 5am every morning, even off duty. Doesn't matter what time he slept the night before, 1am, 3am, 4am, he's still up. That being said, he won't wake you until later. Wake me up at 5am and I will fight. Unless you asked for him to wake you, he won't. But, if you did, he'd be gentle. Shaking you very lightly, and when your eyes open and focus on him, he's got a soft smile specially for you. He’s so whipped for you.
To be sweet: Simon can be very sweet~ especially once you've broken down his many, hard walls. At first, he would be unsure how to show you he loves you, so he makes you breakfast. I believe he would be a decent cook, and he would try his very best to make your favorite dishes. He would set the tray of food down on the nightstand, with tea of course, and gently start to kiss you awake. He will tickle if you refuse to wake up.
In a emergency: He's already thrown you over his shoulder and out the door before you even woken up- Doesn't matter what the emergency is, you are always his first priority.
To be a pain: Please tell me why I believe this man would just... *flip* the mattress over. Like, he'd place something on the floor so you don't get hurt, but test his patience and well.. you'll end up on the floor. He would make sure you're ok though, he's not that mean.
FOAP~~
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Normally: He would always wake you up in a chaotic way. Tickling, dragging you out of bed, wrapping you up in the blanket like a burrito and throwing you over this shoulder, he does it all. He's always very gentle with you, before he attacks you in affection.
To be sweet: Johnny would be the the sweetest. He'd first start off by kissing and cuddling you, then depending on your mood, would order food or cook for you. Mornings like these are his favorite, he's a huge ball of affection and will suffocate you with it. RIP in peace
In an emergency: Oh gosh.. if you have anxiety, good luck. same bestie. He doesn't mean to overreact, but in a situation where your safety is in danger, his brain is empty as he picks you up and runs. He is very apologetic after, and will crush you with his love.
To be a pain: *Scottish music intensifies* For real, if you've still haven't woken up yet and he's having withdrawal symptoms from your smile- he will be the biggest pain. Along with the blaring music, he can, and will, starting singing loudly. He would also open the curtains and hold your hand above your head so you can't block your eyes. Good luck to you, just wake up.
John Price~
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Normally: Price is a very busy man. On days when he's in a rush, he'll place a sweet kiss, rubbing your arms affectionately. But if he's home, he'll take his time. Holding you close to him, kissing your face, neck and shoulders.
To be sweet: He's extra needy in the mornings. Wakes you by caressing your body, nipping your ear. Saying soft praises while he thrusts gently into you. Afterwards, he would be super doting. Cooking, running a bath, whatever you need he will get it.
In an emergency: Very calm. It's almost creepy how calm he can be, as he uses his military voice to wake you. You know something has happened at his tone, knowing he rarely uses it with you. He's comforting still, if you're still sleepy, he will pick you up.
To be a pain: *Sighs* you won't need a shower because he's already given you one. If you ignore his warnings to wake up, he'll get a bucket, fill it to the very brim, and dump it on you. Yes, its cold water, yes, he is smiling so smug. Don't even dare to be mad with him, he warned you.
Kyle Gaz Garrick~
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Normally: He would be lazy in the mornings, when he's on a mission, he doesn't get the chance to sleep or rest. He always wakes up first, smiling as he cuddles you tight. He kisses you gently until you wake up, whispering in your ear: "Mornin', love." Definitely stays in bed for hours.
To be sweet: Ah hes such a caring boyfriend~ He'd gently kiss you awake, once you've had a little soft make out session, Kyle would grab you like a princess and place you on the couch. He'd make you breakfast while cracking jokes with you. Always compliments you each morning, he finds you heavenly.
In an emergency: Very protective. He would still let you stay asleep as he picks you up and gets you to safety.
To be a pain: Bangs pots and pans together. May or may not eat your favorite food in front of you if you refuse to get out of bed, and when you do leave, he doesn't give you any. (unless you threaten to not kiss him) Or if you're a gamer, he'd tease you by saying: "Love, I'm about to play!" that would get me up so quick-
Alejandro~
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Normally: This romantic, smooth man god i want him so bad. He's sweet every morning, bet he would leave the house early to grab you fresh flowers each day. He's just so in love with you. Always has to wake you with kisses, he's holding you so close to his chest. Your bodies are intertwined as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear~
To be sweet: Ugh. He's always sweet, especially in the mornings. But when he's feeling extra affectionate he writes you a love letter. You have a box fulled of them. He has so much love for you that it overflows so he has to write it down. Ale would run a bath for you, lighting candles and adding in your favorite scent. He will join you if you let him. Also needy in the mornings, but now as sweet as Price. who needs legs?
In an emergency: He is so calm when he wakes you, you'd have no idea that something happened. He doesn't want to scare or cause you to panic you so he, gently but quickly, grabs you and leaves. If you do panic, he is quick to calm you, calmly smoothing your back while whispering reassuring words.
To be a pain: I can never see him being a pain. Except for when he hasn't had your affection for a long time and you refuse to wake up. He'd lightly grab your ankle and drag you from the bed. Good luck if you're ticklish, he won't spare you. i can take him-
König~
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Normally: At first, he would be hesitant to wake you. Even if you had asked him to, he would still be very anxious. He would also be scared to hurt you, he's a big tall delicious man, in his eyes you are precious. He would start by gently caressing your leg, whispering your name. And when you wake up and smile at him, he swears his heart stops.
To be sweet: He would leave early morning to get your favorite breakfast and snacks. Since he's home, he wants to spend the whole day with you, watching movies and not leaving your side. When he's back, he smiles as he caresses your cheek, his face turning red as he watches you slowly wake up.
In an emergency: Panics. He quickly calms himself and lifts you up with such ease, gently holding you as he runs. He reassures you everything is fine, not wanting to panic you, but he deals with the situation swiftly. There’s not many moments where he can spend with you, and he won’t let anything get in the way.
To be a pain: Never. He's the most sweetest amongst the men here, I can see him never being a pain to you, even if you absolutely refuse to wake up in the mornings.
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sickuma · 10 months
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TULIPS — a König fic.
❱ This will have two parts (or more) depending on how the comments on tiktok are /j but it'll probably be more than two! please keep in mind that the **" "** in italics are their memories, or something they said before the incident.
ꜝ?angst warning, as well as mentions of injuries. pairing is König x reader !
this is unedited, grammatical and spelling errors are to be expected.
➴ SYNOPSIS — You and König were in a mission when you see a lens-flare aimed right at his chest, without hesitation, you lunge and take the hit for him.
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VORFRUEDE — the joyful intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.
"[name], call for backup." 
You nod, doing your best to comply as much as you can despite the exhaustion which enveloped your body,
It's your duty. It's your job to protect,
"Backup's on the way, König. Evac is almost there too, we just have to—"
You will never die for these people,
You wouldn't allow yourself to die for the military. No matter how brutal your battles are, you've sworn to always put yourself first.
"König."
A ragged breath escaped your lips.
You would never choose someone else over your own life.
No one would come first before yours,
No one else but him.
"König!"
It was as if you caught a brief glimpse of your world crumbling down, seeing that red dot aimed right at his heart, you couldn't hear anything else but this blinding ringing.
Without another thought, you lunged towards his direction. Pushing him aside roughly as you take the hit for him,
As if this moment was purposely slowed down, you saw his eyes widened through your blur of a vision, you saw the glint of panic in his eyes.
"König, when we retire, 
let's have a small house and garden."
"[name]!"
König found himself falling on the hard floor, not feeling the impact of your push as his attention focused on your trembling figure,
He saw it,
He saw how you froze, how your head slowly turned down to look at the horrifying wound. Raising both your hands weakly to look at the stains of blood.
"In that garden, we'll grow tulips."
His frightened gaze laid on your collapsing figure. Without wasting a moment more, he rushed towards your limp body, lifting you up to sit you somewhere safer.
With tears stained eyes, he dropped to the floor, holding your trembling body close to him as his clouded vision attempts to stop the threatening tears,
"Keep your eyes open, [name]."
His body shook, he could feel his hands shake terribly. Looking down at you with a horrified expression.
The love of his life laid limp on his lap,
And it's because of him.
Of all the reasons, did it have to be him?
"Evac is— evac is coming. Please please please."
He knew the bullet hit somewhere fatal, otherwise you wouldn't have gone into shock. He saw the life fade from your eyes,
But you raised your weak hands to caress his clothed face, a smile making its way to your blood stained lips.
"The tulips, könig, they're gonna be so pretty."
"no, no, no." He shook his head as he saw the acceptance in your eyes.
"I've never loved anyone as much as I did with you, Keep that—keep that in your mind könig."
He shakes his head vigorously, screaming for you to wake up. Shaking your trembling body, 
The tulips, we still haven't planted them.
Wake up.
"[name] you can't, please, the tulips."
Who knew loving you would be a beautiful tragedy?
Have you known,
[name]?
Have you known that you'll be taking my heart wherever you go?
Have you known I'll grow those tulips, just for you?
"Grow the tulips for me, my love."
"I won't." He shook his head repeatedly. 
"Without you, I won't."
With your weak, strained voice you spoke. For him you kept trying,
"We'll plant them together—right Liebling?" He desperately spoke, keeping his hand tightly placed on your wound to apply pressure.
"Just as we planned. Together. In our small house. After we—" he paused to sob, letting out the clashing emotions that pierced through him.
"You even said that we'll have a cat, he's gonna be named Leaf because of our garden. You said I'll wake up next to you, I'll wake up to you playing with my hair—because I like it so much—right? [name]?"
"We still have to do those."
His lungs felt trapped in every word he spoke, it felt as if he’d pass out. Never had he felt so weak and hopeless, not for a mission, not for something,
Especially not ever for a person.
And yet here he sat, crying uncontrollably for you to stay and fulfil the plans you’ve made together. 
"You still have to—"
"You still have to marry me," he whispered. 
"Schatz bitte."
He cried, as he couldn't do anything else but wait for evac. He needed you, 
He can't lose you.
Not now. Not ever.
"I know I sound selfish, I know you're hurting and you want to rest but—I just—what would I be without you?"
Tulips,
Without their roots, they are lifeless.
Tulips without their sunlight are bound to wilt.
You felt your own tears trickle down your face,
"Liebling, I won't just let you go. I won't. Even after we planted those tulips," He paused, unable to control his emotions as he looked into your weak eyes. Your eyes that are on the verge of giving up,
"I'll keep needing you, I'll keep holding on."
And as if on cue, he hears the door thump. For a moment, he felt relieved, his tears abruptly stopping as his head turned towards the door. “[name], see? Evac is—” His heart dropped when the realisation hit, it wasn’t evac. They would have asked first, they would have given callouts. It’s the syndicates,
With an exhausted breath, his eyes grew darker, placing [name] on the corner hurriedly and gently. “Stay here, call for evac again alright? Don’t—don’t close your eyes [name], please.” He placed a kiss on top of your head before he picked his weapon up once again, sparing you one last glance before he quietly made his way towards the entrance. The sadness fading for a moment as rage replaced the burning emotion in his heart,
They did this.
They're taking you away from him.
With gritted teeth he strides, coming in contact with the geared enemies. As if he’d forgotten how exhausted he was, he fought efficiently. Taking hits and giving just the same, he was enraged, and they felt it. How he grunts and how he raised his hand. His strength and size overpowered them easily, 
It was as if he lost himself, he looked almost unreal. Taking lives with a clenched jaw, he felt anger. As he remembered what could possibly happen because of what they did,
What he can possibly go through.
He pants, staring down at the bloody sight. Taking in the smell and the horrendous end he made them face,
It didn't feel accomplished. Inside that room, you sat with a bullet deep inside your body. Defeating these people didn't feel as accomplished as it did before.
He weakly walked back—praying to whoever that you’re still breathing, that you’re still alive to continue on with your lives, still alive to plant the tulips with him. With droopy eyes he saw your bloody figure, sat with closed eyes and the talkie wrapped around your hands,
His tears fell once again, “schatz, I'm back.” he whispered, collapsing beside your body. Throwing the talkie and replacing it with his hands, clasping yours together with his tightly. 
The tulips,
“We couldn't separate them so we had to fit both of them in one evac vehicle.”
The captain looked at horangi in question, “Couldn't separate them?” “König held them too tightly, we were only able to separate them when we arrived here. Roze suggested letting them share a room together but due to some policies, the hospital didn't allow it.” he explained further, as they looked at König’s sleeping figure,
He had a frown despite being in a deep sleep.
“I see.” the captain mumbles, “make sure to let him know that [name] is safe, I'm certain hell would be loose if he didn't see them near him.” Horangi nodded, he spoke just before the captain reached the door. “[name]’s in a coma, doctors have informed us that they’re unstable.” “They’ll pull through, for König they will.” the captain replies without turning his head back. “They spoke of their retirement recently, [name] wouldn't disappoint König.”
“What color of tulips will we have?”
“Mm, white.”
“Why's that?” he asks you,
“To symbolize how sorry I am.”
He gasped, sitting up on the bed with his hands tightly wrapped around his neck, attempting to catch his breaths. The dream had hunted him, the look on your face,
The apologetic tone you spoke with,
What did you mean by that? What are you sorry for? Before he could take in his surroundings, he exited the room. Uncaring about the chords that connect to him, he walked and walked till he reached the front desk. “[name]. Where is their room?” He spoke sternly, catching the nurse off guard, he knew he looked terrifying but that’s not of his concern right now. He needs to know you're here, he needs to know you have a room, because if you dont it can only mean one thing.
And he’ll refuse to believe that. “Ah— [name] under the KorTac factions is it?” the nurse stuttered, flipping through the pages of their record book frantically, not wanting to cause the soldier any more agitation.
“Room 405 sir. The patient who’s in—” Without hearing any more words from the nurse, he ran, hurriedly ran to wherever that room could be. Worriedly reading the numbers in each room as adrenaline enveloped his body. Relief, happiness, everything all at one, he could cry.
But not yet, not until he sees you, not until he holds you. “[name]!” He chimes, barging inside the room recklessly. There was no one else inside, only you on the bed, sleeping soundly. He pants, walking closer, feeling his hands tremble by the sight of you. “Liebling.” he mumbled, reaching for the chair and sitting by you. “Love, you're here.” He could feel the tears fall at last, feeling his heart at ease. The sight of you removed the thousands of worries on his shoulder, that dream meant nothing, you had nothing to be sorry for. You didn't leave him, “You didn't—you didn't go.” he broke down, laying his head down on your hands which he held. Sobbing to you. “When we go back, let’s retire as soon as possible, okay?” he mumbled, lips trembling as he spoke. His voice broke with happiness. Croaking out whispers of  ‘I love you’s’ while he laid on your hand. “No more of these. No more.” “Let’s buy a house, a small one. Then we’ll go get leaf and—and, the tulips, my love.”
The tulips,
In our home.
Let’s grow the—
“Tulips?” His breath stopped, he froze as you spoke. He raised his head to look at you, weakly staring back at him. “What tulips?” “Where am i?”
The rasp on your voice was heard, the confusion evident and visible from the way you spoke and looked at him. He felt his heart drop, 
“Who are you?”
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pryce0 · 1 year
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König Affection Headcanons
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gif by; @goorehound
requests for könig fics are open.
———————————
This man is very hesitant to do anything along the lines of PDA. Due to his anxiety, he often feels embarrassed over it, even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s nothing against you, though. The most he will do is handholding, but not for too long.
He still gets nervous around you, but overall, you’re his person. He loves calling you pet names in German; “Liebling”, “Schätzchen”, he even calls you “gut aussehend”.
König adores your touch. He adores deep pressure and you provide that for him when he isn’t feeling the best; of course, there’s moments where he needs his space.
He’s the type to bring back little trinkets from missions. Like a keychain, a small figure, just something that he absolutely needed to get for you.
He’s big on physical touch, gift giving and words of affirmation.
König tries to keep his job separate from you, even if you both work in the same type of profession. When he comes to you, he just wants you; no bloodshed, no killing, just you.
He favors you laying on him or just sitting his lap when you’re alone. This man is huge, so don’t worry about crushing him. Honestly, he’d prefer it if that meant more pressure.
König murmurs sweet words to you all the time when you’re alone with him, always complimenting you to make sure you feel good.
“That’s smells wonderful!” “Beautiful as always, Liebling.” “I’m so lucky to have you.”
Despite his anxiety, if someone is messing with you, that’s when you see his protective side, the side he tries to save for the battlefield. There’s a certain growl and tone that comes out.
Yes, he has anxiety, but he’s still very much a soldier.
He loves cupping your cheek and giving you soft kisses.
“I could kiss you forever…”
When you’re able to sleep in the same bed, there isn’t much of a choice but to sleep on top of him, but he isn’t complaining.
Sometimes, you switch it up and he sleeps on you. His head on your chest, hands grabbing your waist, laying between your legs. He melts when you touch his hair and it’s like all of his worries for the day dissipate.
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nackrosor · 9 months
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~Midnight Healing~
����𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝔁 𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓮!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
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[I highly recommend to put this song on repeat as background music. It will help set the mood.]
warnings/tags: 18+ smut, p*rn with feelings & plot, unexperienced reader, first kiss, first time, oral s*x (fem receiving), p in v, soft Ghost, slow dance, mutual pining, slight angst/comfort, Soap being the best mate, the team being supporting in their own way lmao, cap. price approved 👌🏻 summary: You're at the pub, enjoying a night out with your team. The soothing lulling music, the booze, Johnny's taunts and your own repressed feelings embolden you to invite Simon to join you in a slow dance. The dance leads to long overdue confessions which in turn lead to your first time together. word count: 12.5k. (longest one yet)
A special and huge thank you to my dear @magnoliabutters who has helped me SO MUCH. You've given me so many suggestions that inspired me to write the best possible version of this story. I probably would have given up halfway through if it wasn't for your support. I love you and appreciate you a lot. ♥️
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You close your eyes and take a deep breath, elbows resting on the smooth surface of the counter with a thumb circling the cold rim of your half-full glass of bourbon. The soothing blues music playing in the background adds to your sense of calm, with notes vibrating through your limbs, echoing in your ribcage, and clearing your thoughts. You let yourself be lulled by the soft melancholy tune, quietly humming along and rocking your head in rhythm. 
Given your job as a task force officer, you rarely get a breather and a chance to enjoy a night out. It is a luxury for you and that is what makes it so special, a time to truly look forward to. Especially when you can share it with your brothers in arms, your family, not bonded by blood but by a profound feeling born through shared hardships and nurtured by trust, respect and understanding. One would imagine you'd prefer to spend your free nights alone or with different people, perhaps even a one-night lover, rather than with your coworkers, the very same guys you spend your entire days with, through sweat and tears, anger and frustration, and occasionally a moment of respite. This is exactly the reason why you wouldn’t dare unwind with anyone else; they are everything for you, the sole people you trust and you would gladly give your life for without hesitation. Why would you need anybody else? 
Seeing them loosen up for one night, just enough to treat themselves to a pint or a glass of whiskey is such the delight. You wouldn’t even need to chug a drink of your own to feel the tension leave your body, finally allowing yourself to relax. 
This time is no exception. Same place, same company, same feeling of being exactly where you need to be, of needing literally nothing else in the world.
"Enjoying yourself?" 
Soap's voice sounds clear in your ear and interrupts your blues-induced trance. A lazy smile greets you as you turn to look up at him. He settles down on the barstool next to you.
"Yeah… I love this music. It feels like a lullaby but instead of making me want to sleep, it makes me want to move, you know? "
"Sounds like you want to hit the dance floor! Care to give us a show?" 
"Wouldn't you like that!" 
You smirk at him, bumping your shoulder against his.
"Who wouldn’t?” he returns the nudge, playfully winking at you, “But I know someone who would particularly enjoy it, more than anybody else."
You raise an eyebrow, giving him a knowing look. Every time you come to the pub, you can't avoid one or two, occasionally three, drunken brash males hitting on you or simply gluing their eyes on you from afar, never stopping for the entire time you're here. You'd think that being literally surrounded by four menacing - some more than others - muscular men would prevent anyone from ever looking your way twice, especially weak-minded misogynists who don't believe a woman could take care of herself… That clearly isn't the case. Go figure! These people have no sense of shame or… self-preservation. 
"What ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude is staring at me this time?" 
A chuckle escapes him. He shakes his head as he swirls the liquid in his glass before taking a sip. 
“No ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude , just a possibly ugly dude.”
"Oh?" a wry smile takes form on your lips, "well, I could get behind that."
"He's been throwing some not-so-sneaky glances your way ever since we arrived."
"Yeah?”, you ask, taking a quick glance around the room. “Coordinates, Sergeant. Don’t leave me in the dark."
Soap's eyes glint mischievously as he subtly nods to your left, then raises his glass to his lips to take another sip and mask his grin. You follow the trajectory of his nod, gaze skimming the whole length of the counter, overlooking the serene faces of Gaz, Laswell, the captain, until it locks on a familiar pair of big dark eyes. The smirk on your lips immediately falters and your stomach flips. 
Simon is holding your gaze, seemingly unfazed, arms folded across his chest and muscles flexing under his black windbreaker. No matter how accustomed you are to seeing him in his casual attire, your heart always loses a beat whenever your eyes land on him. The way his skull balaclava hugs his face and the way the hood of his dark grey sweatshirt is all the way up, hiding his head, make his mesmerising eyes circled with black make-up even more striking and thus much more lethal to your poor weak heart. You’re so attracted to him, so infatuated… you’ve never felt this inexorable pull toward anyone before. It’s like a new form of gravity, so strong that you can’t even avert your gaze; it takes too much effort, like going against the laws of nature. 
Soap’s giggle draws you back from the trance. Your eyes dart around aimlessly for a moment before you whip around to glare at your friend.
“You’re a bastard.”
He shrugs innocently, that stupid grin of his still tugging at his lips.
"You saw it for yourself, he was staring."
"Yeah, 'cause he probably heard you or read your lips or… something."
"Right,” he says with a scoff, elongating the word. “Didn’t know superman was part of the 141…"
His mocking tone makes you roll your eyes. Grabbing your glass, you bring it to your lips and savour the sensation of the cool, sweet but strong liquid flowing down your throat. As you knock the empty glass back onto the counter, you catch a glimpse of Ghost. Fortunately, this time he appears to be engaged in discussion with Price, providing you with the green light that allows your wistful gaze to linger on him, unnoticed. 
"Well, you must admit that…”, you mutter almost to yourself, eyes reverently roaming his figure, “...if anyone had superpowers in our team, it would definitely be him." 
"Heh. You certainly look at him as if he already has them."
Johnny interrupts your reveries again and you shake your head, tearing your eyes away from Simon and trying to clear your mind in the process. "Stop it. He's just, he's-" 
"He's single, for all I know." 
The sergeant shrugs again with an innocent smile as you give him the stink-eye.
"You’re a menace ."
You poke him hard in the ribs, causing him to wince and almost spill his drink. You both can’t help but laugh.
“I swear if you told him or anyone anything… I'll strangle you in your sleep.”
“Mmm, so passionate, y/n. He’s gonna love that.”
You roll your eyes again, yet can't help but smile.
Soap is your best mate; you're closer to him than the rest of the squad, which is saying a lot given how close the team is. You may or may not have let your feelings for Simon slip during a private conversation one night at the HQ while you were a little tipsy, and he's been a little shit about it since then, unwilling to let you live it down. You know it's all in good fun, there's no malice in his words, but his taunts do nothing to help you keep your feelings under control. 
“You should tell him, by the way.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Johnny…”
“I just don’t understand why you’re keeping it to yourself. You scared of getting rejected?”
You shrug, your gaze fixed on the empty glass in front of you as you fidget with it absentmindedly. He struck a nerve. Taking the first step without being absolutely certain that your feelings are reciprocated and thus making a colossal blunder scares the shit out of you. Actually, the mere thought of taking a shot in the dark makes your stomach churn with dread. 
“Y/n, he would never turn you down. Never .”
“You don’t know that.”
Soap scoffs incredulously. “C’mon! You’ve seen the way he looks at you! There’s nothing PG-13 about it.”
He pauses for a moment waiting for your retort but when you don't give him any, he draws conspiratorially close to your ear. “Although, I guess you don’t get to hear what he says about you when it’s just us boys…”
You perk up, turning toward him with a curious and clearly hopeful look on your face. Does he know something you don’t? Or is he messing with you? You can never tell with Soap.
“W-what does he say?”
Soap grins victoriously, undoubtedly pleased with himself for catching you failing, yet again, to hide your stupid little crush. 
"Gave my word that I would keep my mouth shut..."
“Ugh!", you push him away with a hard smack on his arm, "you’re insufferable.”
“Go talk to him and find out on your own. In the unlikely case that what you fear the most happens, any of us smart boys would gladly take his place in your heart, love ."
You shake your head with a scoff, eyes drifting aimlessly to the other side of the room. Turns out, Johnny was trying to get under your skin, as per usual, however you can’t help but mull his words over.
Perhaps he's got a point, perhaps it is time to let it all out in the open and face the consequences , whatever they might be. Johnny said that Simon has talked about you with the guys. It might be nothing, but what if he really has let his own feelings slip during a conversation, just like when it happened to you with Soap? Or perhaps, he had a real heart to heart talk with his mates… 
You have your doubts, but then again why would Johnny mention that he spoke of you? Why would he try so hard to reassure you that Simon would never reject you? Why would he stress out the fact that he often gets caught staring at you? Could your friend be doing this solely for a laugh? No, Johnny is not that kind of person. He cares about you and he clearly understands how much you care about Simon. He would not give you a friendly push merely to watch you fall face first to the ground. There must be some truth behind his jokes and teasing… but are you ready to risk it all to find out? Being rejected isn't the only fear that prevents you from acting on your feelings... 
"Whatever.” You sigh at last, propping yourself up by pushing your palms against the edge of the counter. “I'm here to unwind, not get caught up in my head as usual. So… now, I’m going to dance. And, just to be clear, I'm not doing it for you or Simon or anybody other than myself."
The pointed look you give him makes Soap raise his hands in defeat, however it doesn't wipe that little smirk off his face. The glass grazes his curled up lips as he looks at you with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah… You'll thank me later.”
His words get lost in the rising bustle of the pub; the cacophony of voices and the clatter of glasses gets louder just as the music fills your ears the more you get away from the bar. The soothing tune comes out of two huge amps set at either side of an empty stage, and floods over you, the sole person standing in front of it. You feel a bit self-conscious at first, sensing everyone's eyes on you but you try your best to ignore them. Letting your eyes flutter shut, you focus solely on the music, allowing yourself to be transported by the slow lulling rhythm. 
Soon, you're swaying your hips in time, your feet picking up their own pattern. You don't care about how you're moving, how it may look; all you care about is letting go, setting yourself free, feeling the music pass through you, and being completely in the moment. You dance worry-free, entirely surrendering control of your body to the enthralling and sinuous voice of the electric guitar. Few things are more freeing than dancing like nobody’s watching…
The song comes to an end almost too quickly and so does the enchantment that has seized you. When you open your eyes, chancing a look around you, you immediately meet Simon’s stare. He's still sitting at the bar but now he's turned toward you, back to the polished wood of the counter, one elbow resting on its edge. Clearly he has been watching you the whole time, enjoying the show , as Soap said. You feel a thrill run through you. Perhaps it's the alcohol kicking in, perhaps those feelings pushed deep inside you are finally emerging to the surface. Or is it just the adrenaline of the dancing still holding control over your body? 
Regardless of the answer, you find yourself walking toward him; the initial notes of a new song matching your sultry and unhurried steps. He firmly holds your gaze, but you notice the shifting in his seat as you approach him with renewed confidence.
You stop when you’re right in front of him, a coy smile plays on your lips while you hold out your hand.
"Care to join me?" 
His eyes flicker to your extended palm then wander over your face, as if he's looking for a cue that would tell him whether you're joking or being serious.
"You're outta your mind, princess ."
You raise your eyebrow at the word 'princess'. He knows you don’t like to be called like that but he doesn't seem to care. He keeps using that stupid term, especially when he wants to reprimand you, putting you in your place or just to tease you and get under your skin. But there is something in the way he said it just now, an endearing nuance in his tone that combined with his thick accent makes you melt like chocolate.
"Why? You seemed really interested only a minute ago."
You tease him with a challenging look on your face while you nonchalantly tug down the zip of your biker jacket. After the dance you're feeling a bit flushed, you need to let your skin breathe. No other reason for uncovering your cleavage, right? Definitely not to draw his attention to the deep neckline of your dress. Of course not, why would you do that? 
"I was only-" 
You interrupt him, arms folding across your chest, drawing his eyes even more to the curves of your body. " Enjoying the show , right."
"No.” He counters quickly, his voice loud and clear even over the music. Doesn’t he sound a little nervous? Or are you simply imagining it? 
“I was just… glad to see this carefree side of you. It's a good look on you."
You stare into each other’s eyes, your heart thumping hard in your chest. You didn’t expect to hear him say that.
"Well…”, you bite your lip as you try to ease your racing heart, arms falling back to your sides, “...dancing is very freeing. You should try it."
"I don't think it would work for me."
"Why don't we find out?" 
Shivering just a little, you take another step forward. His head slightly cranes up so that he can keep his piercing gaze on yours. You move your hand on his wrist, fingers wrapping gently around it before giving a little pull in your direction.
"C'mon…", you give him a teasing smile as you step back, head nodding back to the space behind you, “...let’s go.”
Despite your pulling, Simon doesn’t budge a single inch, but you see him hesitate. You keep tugging at his wrist, stepping backwards, even attempting to pout, until he silently relents and stands up, letting you drag him toward the stage at last. You didn't expect him to give up. You thought you'd have to put much more effort into it, or that you'd have to be the one giving up in the end. You're genuinely surprised by the turn of events but you won't let that dent your spirit now. You've just started playing with fire and you can't help but feel the thrill of it, the excitement lighting up inside of you. 
You stop when you reach the spot you previously made your own during your solo dance and turn around to face him. He stands there, tall and motionless, the hood of his sweatshirt still on; he looks so out of place on the dance floor, the sight makes you chuckle.
"Don't worry Si, nobody would dare judge you."
"I don't care about that."
"No?"
With a smile on your face, a gaze fixed on him, you start to sway your hips in sync again. His eyes immediately flicker down to take in your movements. He doesn’t seem to care about the fact that he looks like a freaking pole, standing so still in front of you, not moving even one muscle. His whole focus is on you and he seems to particularly enjoy being able to watch you from the best seat in the house.
“You could move your shoulders a little bit, you know? Or even just nod your head in time with the music.”
It’s so evident that he doesn’t know what to do with his body, where to even begin. You almost feel guilty of having dragged him there, of putting him on the spot.
“Here, follow my steps.”
You pick up a simple left-to-right footwork, following the slow but steady rhythm of the drums and encourage Ghost to mirror your motions with a nod and a gentle smile. He studies you, eyes observing your body attentively, picking up every little movement you make. 
He appears quite stiff as he attempts to follow along; his bulky body doesn't seem keen to make him look as graceful on the dancefloor as it does on the battlefield. But he's trying at least, and quickly getting the hang of it.
“That’s it! You’re not half bad, Si!” 
A soft chuckle escapes you as you bite your bottom lip. Seeing him dance - or try to - makes you oddly giddy, euphoric even. It's just such a rare and bizarre thing to see that you can't help but smile wide and enjoy the moment to the fullest.
Raising your arms in the air, you swing your hips and bend your knees as you lower your body to the ground, only to raise up again, twisting your curves like a snake. The thrill of his probing stare piercing you causes you to shudder; his eyes are unwavering, admiring your every move with utmost devotion. Having his undivided attention makes you feel alive, it makes you feel special and bold. 
You take a step closer and reach out to grab both of his hands in yours, your movements mellowing to fit his laid-back rocking. His calloused hands are surprisingly soft and warm as they wrap perfectly around yours, like matching pieces of a puzzle; his touch feels comforting, stable, safe. As you look up at him, eyes locking once again, you feel your heart pound rapidly in your chest. A small smile takes form on your lips to mask the turmoil rising within you.
“This feels… nice, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
Your heart soars upon hearing his answer, smile widening.
“I didn't know you could dance."
"I can't dance”, you correct him with a light chuckle, “I simply enjoy moving my body to the music."
"Never seen you do that before."
"Well, most of you guys don't even like listening to music, so I only get to do it when I'm on my own… which is a rare occurrence since apparently you babies can’t leave me alone for more than one minute."
You squeeze his hands playfully, a cheeky grin playing on your face. You notice his eyes crinkle lightly in response.
"You can use my office, if you want. There's enough room to… move around."
You let out a hearty laugh, head shaking softly. Your eyes lower to the floor for a moment, monitoring the way both your feet move perfectly in sync and at the same time picturing the silly image in your mind.
"You gonna sit at your desk, grumbling over your paperwork while, with music blasting in my ears, I dance like nobody’s watching right in front of you?" 
"Why not,” he says with a shrug.
His voice doesn’t betray his collected demeanour, but you know he’s smiling underneath that mask.
"Well, for one…”, you raise one eyebrow, giving him a knowing look, “I think it would get pretty distracting, rather quickly." You bring your joined hands to the level of your eyes and his chest, slowly interlacing your fingers with his. The muscles of his arms seem to tense for a moment.
"...Fair enough."
"Secondly…”, you trail off, eyes flickering up to meet his serious stare, voice losing a bit of its jovial nuance, “...people might start talking."
"Who cares."
His remark is curt and blunt, and it takes you a bit by surprise. He actually sounds as though he wouldn't care less if your coworkers were to start spreading rumours about you two possibly being... intimate. Or perhaps you're merely grasping at straws. After all, you're talking about dancing. Nothing more, right? 
"You’re telling me that you wouldn’t care what the others may think or say?" your tone is clearly hesitant this time, vulnerable even, eyes frantically searching his, "...watching us dance like this? Being this close?"
He keeps silent for a long moment, gaze boring into yours. His hands then pull on your wrists, tugging you closer to him. He swiftly wraps his arms around your waist, while your hands fly onto his chest for support as a surprised gasp escapes your mouth.
“How could I give a crap about them or what they think… when I have you here in my arms?”
His straightforward statement catches you off-guard, causing you to stumble upon your feet. It feels like the tables have turned. Your flirtatiousness made him take the bait and now you’re the one who doesn’t know how to act. Your boldness instantly vanishes, it’s as if you never had it in you in the first place. A tardy nervous chuckle slips out of you as you struggle to regain your synced rocking.
“You must’ve had a drink too many, huh Si?”
“Never been more lucid in my life.”
You stare deeply into his eyes, a wild-eyed look on your face, as he firmly holds your gaze. Tension soaks the air around you, you can sense it getting thicker and thicker. Suddenly, there's not a single soul in the pub but you two. Your eyes locked, bodies swaying gently together, lightly brushing against one another. Your heart thumps forcefully against your chest. 
[ 2:26 min .]
… 
I just want to get your head back, baby
Give you all the love I got, for sure
So, baby, if you've got that feeling
You know I wanna give you that midnight healing
Oh, I just want to make love to you all night long
… 
Perhaps it's merely your perception, but the music appears to get louder. The song’s lyrics are now distinctly clear; they echo in your head, tickling your mind like a subtle hint intended specifically for you.
Returning your attention to Simon, you detect a strange glint in his eyes. Did he receive the hint as well? The way his grasp on your waist tightens, palms roving over your sides and drawing you even closer to him, seems to confirm your supposition.
You both seem to lean forward, attracted like magnets, until your faces are merely inches away. The music deafens, slowly making its way into the background, providing the perfect mood for this special moment. Neither of you says a word, instead you let your eyes speak for themselves. Everything around you seems to blur into a negligible mist. Simon has you hypnotised, just as the music did, with the intensity of his gaze and the warmth of his touch. As one of his hands slides up to your neck, fingers grazing the soft hollow area just above your pulse point, a sharp shiver travels up your spine. 
The room spins around you. All of a sudden, your heart pounds hard against your chest and in your ears. You sway on your feet with fingers tugging on his jacket to keep your balance. His hands move quickly to your back, to support your body as you shift your weight on him for a moment before catching yourself. You feel hot, dizzy, and out of breath. 
"Y/n?" 
"J-just give me a moment, will you?" You say rather harshly, unable to keep the rising panic and tension out of your voice.
His concerned gaze is the last thing you see before you abruptly pull away and dash back towards the counter, mind buzzing, chest tightening. You notice Soap’s smile drop into a puzzling look as he watches you rush over but before he can ask you anything, you hear Gaz's hesitant voice coming from behind you. 
"What's going on?" 
You throw a quick glance over your shoulder, instantly meeting his perplexed look. Your actions seem to have drawn the attention of Price and Laswell, too; you find both of their gazes set on you. 
You struggle to take deep breaths, your eyes darting aimlessly from one friendly face to another while your hands clutch around the table edges, fingertips turning white. It takes all your efforts to not raise your gaze toward the dance floor and rest it on the man still standing exactly where you have just left him. 
"Nothing! It's all going great!" 
Your voice comes out higher pitched than normal but you try to mask it with the most convincing smile you can muster. 
You turn toward Johnny before you can witness the other's reactions or give them time to question your words. Your friend pierces you with a questioning look that doesn't leave room for lies. 
"I-I think I'm gonna pass out."
He immediately reaches out to place a comforting hand on your arm as he slides his freshly refilled glass towards you.
"You ok? What happened?" 
Your hand shakes as you grab the drink. You rub it to your forehead, cheeks, and neck before moving it to your lips. The cool sensation of the glass against your feverish skin seems to ease your panic, even if only a little. You focus completely on the cold liquid scorching down your throat as you take a long sip. 
You gasp, pulling from the rim of the glass. "Nothing. It's just-" you take another deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut,"...it felt all-too real, all-too quickly, I guess. I'm not entirely sure. I panicked."
"Y/n," he coos softly, gently squeezing your arm, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to-" 
"But that's the point! I want it! We were so close, I mean… you saw it! If it wasn't for the mask, I’m pretty sure he would’ve leaned in for a kiss. I-I felt my heart was about to burst!” The words fall out of your mouth in a nervous rambling. “I wanted to close the distance so bad… that I fucking ran away." A deprecating chuckle escapes you, eyes rolling in disbelief. "I'm so fucking stupid!" 
Johnny squeezes your shoulder again, offering you a genuine smile.
"You are not stupid, y/n... Well, maybe just a little bit." He grins in response to your not-so-convincing glare. "Could a little more privacy help you feel better? You know there are rooms upstairs, you could always go there if you want to..."
You watch as his hand disappears inside his jacket and reappears a moment later, holding a small silver key between his fingers. He holds it out to you and you take it from him mindlessly.
Soap laughs as he detects the mute query in your stunned expression.
"I took it earlier thinking I might get lucky and use it for myself, but it looks like I’m not the lucky one tonight…"
Your gaze darts from your friend's face to the key, then back to him. Your heart starts racing again as the true meaning that small metallic object holds hits you like an unforeseen gunshot to the chest. You let out a loud groan, your hands flying to your face to hide your grimace.
"What is it now?"
"Johnny...", his name falls out of your lips in a sing-songy cry, barely audible above the music and chatter. Lips quivering both in embarrassment and fear for the confession you’re about to make. With a whisper, you share, "I've never been with anyone before... I've never even kissed anyone." You chance a look at your friend through your fingers. "What if I make a fool out of myself in front of Simon? Hell, who am I kidding? I-I already have!"
The astonished expression on Soap's face only aggravates your growing anxiety.
"Creeping Jesus! Y/n… I thought you… uhm, it’s okay-," he awkwardly shifts in his seat, his mouth opening and shutting without emitting a single sound, at least not one that you can hear. His gaze abruptly darts to the side, focusing on something far over your shoulder before moving back to rest on you with a barely concealed alarm. "Ok, take a deep breath, he's coming over."
You only have time to curse under your breath and pull your hands away from your face before you feel a presence behind you that makes every hair on your body stand on end.
When you hear your name being called, you turn warily to face the man standing by your side, stomach twisting as you meet his inquisitive stare. You believe you can also see a flicker of hurt in his eyes, too. 
"Simon, I'm… I'm-"
"She needed some fuel, L.T.!" Soap rushes to your aid, grinning up at Ghost and smacking him on the arm - a little too hard. "She's all good now… right, y/n?" 
He gives you a quizzical look, as if he's asking whether you're ready to handle the situation on your own or if you need more time; at least, that's what you believe he’s trying to convey.
You respond with a feeble nod before your gaze shifts to Simon. You offer him your glass. "A sip?"
He stares at you intently, seemingly studying your face, his expression now unreadable. 
"No."
"A-alright, more for me..." you fake a smile and then guzzle the drink all in one go. You slam the empty glass on the counter as you suck air through your teeth, grimacing at the piercing sensation of the scorching liquor spreading inside your system. Your gaze is drawn to Soap's, and you give him a somewhat confident smile, which he returns with a little wink.
Your hand then moves on its own accord, finding Ghost's large palm and interlacing your fingers with his; the contact sends a chill up your spine. When you look up at him, a ghost of a smile appears on your lips. You're not sure what you're doing or what's going to happen, but you try not to second-guess yourself too much and risk screwing up for the second time in a row.
Taking a step back, away from the counter, you beckon him to follow you.
"Come with me…"
He does not resist your pull. He does not hesitate for even one second. He trails behind you as you lead him up the stairs and to the second floor. 
Neither of you dare utter a single word as you walk through the corridor and come to a door that matches the number on the key Soap gave you. You don't dare glance at him as you walk in, taking in the dim tavern-like atmosphere of the tiny bedroom. Your gaze is immediately drawn to the king size bed in the centre, which takes up most of the space. Your mouth goes dry. You wonder what Simon might be thinking, if the same thoughts that course through your mind are pestering him as well. 
The sound of the door being closed startles you and makes you whirl around. Your gaze immediately captures his, and you gulp under his piercing stare.
With slow heavy steps that mismatch your thundering heartbeat, he walks over to you, stopping only when he’s towering right over you, standing tall in all his imposing height. You keep your gaze levelled in front of you, unable to meet his eyes, however his fingers curl under your chin and nudge your head up, forcing you to face him. 
" Princess… " he murmurs in a low breathy tone, his voice tinged with something akin to irritation, “why are you playing little games with me?”
Your stomach flips again. Of course he’d assume you’ve been messing with him, leading him on; it’s only fair considering the odd behaviour you’ve had all night. And probably not just tonight. 
“I’m not, trust me…”
He pauses for a brief moment, his keen eyes studying your face, possibly looking for proof of your sincerity.
"You brought me here. Why ?" 
"I-I don't know…"
"You don't know?" 
You mentally reprimand yourself for your dumb answer and shake your head in an attempt to dissipate the haze that has settled over your mind.
"I mean, I know why, but-" you try to swallow but your throat is dry. The intensity of his dark eyes boring into yours causes you to stutter, "f-fuck Si, you make me so nervous I can't even think straight!"
Your voice comes out louder than intended and soaked with frustration. Your hand moves on his wrist, tugging at it to pry yourself free from his grasp, but his hold on you does not relent.
"You were dancing for all the pub to see until a minute ago, and I make you nervous?" 
"Yes! Of course! I don't give a damn about those strangers! Why should I? Besides that's not the point! You make me nervous because you are... you are-" 
You shake your head again as you let out a shuddering breath, your gaze averted from his. You know you can't really back down now. You have to tell him the truth but it's damn hard to find the right words to express exactly how you feel. And more than that, to finally find the courage to say them.
You feel like your heart is on the verge of bursting out of your chest.
"You’re someone I really care about, Simon."
His fingers squeeze your chin, urging you to look up, and when you do you notice that his eyes have softened. 
“That made you panic?”
You give him a lopsided smile, but a short-lived one, for your anxieties come tumbling back, slithering into your mind and compelling you to address them, once and for all.
"T-There's something else..."
You want to tell him that you've never been with a man before, that you've never even had your first kiss yet, and that the thought of him, the only man you’ve ever loved, desired , possibly being your first, makes you incredibly nervous and self-conscious. You really want to tell him everything and free yourself of this burden but your voice gets stuck in your throat and you gape up at him, feeling your stomach churn.
Simon waits patiently for you to speak up, his fingers still holding your chin. The soft look he offers you seems to ease your tension a little. 
"I have…”, you draw a sharp breath, "...no experience in this field , if you catch my drift...”. You mutter those few words in a small voice as your face twists into a grimace. 
Your confession hangs in the air for what feels like eternity, your heart seems to have stopped beating altogether. 
"I know."
“Wha-?!”
You are completely thrown off by his matter-of-fact tone.
"H-how? Why-" you stutter, mouth gaping, your eyes wide. How could he know? You've never told anybody, not until a few minutes ago. But he couldn't have heard you, could he? That would be impossible. 
"Is it really so fucking obvious?" 
"No.” 
In stark contrast to yours, his voice sounds cool and collected. His fingers graze your skin as they move up from your chin to your cheek. "I figured you had no idea how this worked when suddenly you’re lacking your usual confidence and turning into a bloody school-girl. It threw me off at first. I thought you didn’t want this…”
" Hell…”, your head slowly shakes in disbelief, eyes darting to the side. 
Suddenly you don’t know if you should feel relieved, ashamed or sorry for it all. Your own body chooses for you, opting for an odd mix of the three; shoulders slumping, mind buzzing, you stare into space while his words sink in. 
So he's been into you the whole time but your mixed signals, caused by your stupid anxieties, have made it look like you were not into him? Or that you were just playing with him? Seriously? What kind of shitty B-rated rom com is this? 
" So , you've never been held by a man.” Simon’s calm voice draws you back to the moment, his fingers taking hold of your chin once again. “ Blimey . Is that what makes you so nervous?" 
"Is it really not a problem for you?" you ask out of genuine curiosity, brows furrowing as your eyes meet his.
Simon’s scoff almost turns into a hearty laugh as he holds your gaze, eyes crinkling.
"No man has ever put their filthy hands on you and I should be - what? Sad? Disappointed? For God's sake, princess..."
He shakes his head, fingertips taking better hold of your jaw as he leans down.
“You and your worries…” His tone is almost scolding but playfully so, eyes studying every feature of your face. “Stop thinking so much, you numpty . It’s not good for you.”
“Tell me something I don’t know…”, you let out a long shuddering breath, in an attempt to let go of the lingering worry still tightening your throat, "I just… don't want to fuck this up, Si. You mean too much to me..."
He hums softly. 
Silence engulfs you. A silence tinged with renewed tension. Not the type of tension that fuels your anxieties but the kind that makes you warm inside. Soft distant notes coming from downstairs fill the room, washing over you in a soothing yet electric wave, reminding you of the dance you shared, of how close you were and the desire that was rising, burning hot, inside of you. 
Just like a magnet the attraction between you and Simon grows. 
His free hand moves on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him and just like before, out of instinct, your hands land on his chest. He holds your chin high, his gaze piercing straight to your heart.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" 
You bite your lip, surprised by his forwardness, a nervous giggle shaking through you. "What kind of question is that-"
"Do you want me to kiss you, princess?" 
He asks a second time with a more serious tone that makes your nervous giddiness fade. Looking deep into his eyes, you take a long breath to ease your racing heart, or at least attempt to.
"Y-yeah, I want you to kiss me."
His hand moves over yours resting on his chest, and guides it up to his neck. 
"Pull up my mask, uncover my mouth. Only my mouth."
You stop breathing altogether, heart jumping in your throat. 
"Y-You want me to do it?" 
"Aye."
Touching his mask, pulling it up to uncover his face feels like such an intimate gesture… Your eyes roam reverently over his newly uncovered skin as your fingers gently peel up the fabric of his balaclava, until his mouth is completely exposed to your sight and you can let your adoring gaze truly linger for the first time. You’ve caught glimpses of his face before, his chin looking vaguely familiar for the few times you’ve seen Simon drink or eat in front of you and the team. But that’s all it has ever been: glimpses. You’ve never been allowed to study his clean-shaved chin and alluring mouth like you are now, from so up close.
"You have pretty lips…"
Your comment slips out of your mouth before your mind could register it and you grimace out of embarrassment. "Uh, sorry, that was-" 
Words die on your tongue as soon as you feel his hand firmly squeeze your jaw. Your eyes immediately dart to his, which bore into yours. Slowly - breathtakingly slow, he draws closer until his lips hover inches away from yours and you can feel his hot breath on your skin. You swallow dry. In a heartbeat he closes the distance, kissing you gently, softly but with a clear, barely-withheld passion. 
You respond to the kiss after a moment of stun. The contact of his lips on yours feels like a soft dream at first, one that seizes your mind in a haze and makes you walk on cloud nine, and then grows in force, as if Simon can't contain his desire any longer.
Your lips part and his tongue slips into your hot mouth, eager to explore this new territory. You moan in the kiss and meet him in a twisting dance of control. 
Every move comes surprisingly natural to you, as if you’ve done this a million times before.
His hand travels down from your back to your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh with a possessive squeeze, then slips even lower to lift your short black dress at its edges and tug it upward just enough to expose the back of your thighs. He doesn't waste time when moving his hand onto that newly uncovered area, kneading the tight flesh there as he bends forward, causing you to arch your back and latch your hands around his neck. Bodies tucking closer. 
You take a deep breath as you slightly pull away, lips still grazing his, your hot breaths merging together. 
All the words you thought would play out in your head in such an important moment are now nowhere to be found. Instead, it’s all just a feeling of rightness between you and him. None of your fantasies could have ever prepared you for a feeling so… intoxicated. 
"Simon…", you usher in a barely audible whisper, slipping your hand under his jacket and feeling his muscles tense under your wandering touch. His lust clouded eyes search yours, his chest heaving hard, hands pressing against you and relenting a second later, as if he’s trying to restrain himself. 
"...I want you to be my first."
A guttural sound comes out of his mouth at your words, his fingers spread again on your ass cheek, squeezing it hard and causing you to whimper. His gaze seems to get darker and he draws closer once more, teeth grazing your bottom lip, nibbling at it. 
"Are you sure?" 
"Positive."
And just like that, as if a barrier has been finally lifted, his lips crush onto yours once more but harder, hungrier than the first time. In one swift motion he yanks the biker jacket off your shoulders and tosses it on the floor. You instantly match his eagerness, returning the favour; his own windbreaker dropping at your feet. 
Before your mind can register what’s happening, you find yourself back against the wall, your shoulder blades hitting the hard surface in an audible thud. You feel your guts twist as heat starts to pool in your belly. 
Your lips are still connected, unwilling to separate. His hands dive on your hips, the thin fabric of your flared dress creases under his ravenous groping. One hand slides down, curling up the hem and slipping underneath, meeting the side of your bare upper thigh. His palm closes around it, firmly, possessively as he lifts your leg up to his hip; you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to find a red mark on your skin later, nor would you be displeased. You moan in his mouth in response and let your own hands wander on his body, blindly scanning the muscles of his torso from above his sweatshirt, only to slide lower and lower, until you find its edges and curl them up. Your fingers sneak under the fabric, meeting the smooth skin of his abdomen; his muscles tense up at the teasing contact. Your palms climb up his abs, his pecks, committing the tactile sensation of every inch of his taut torso to memory. 
As you both pull away, gasping for air, you let your eyes fall to where your hands disappear under his clothes; you want to look at him, feast your hungry eyes on his naked body but before you can do it yourself, Simon grabs the hem of his sweatshirt and pulls it off his head, adding it to the rest of your discarded clothes. However, he doesn’t give you time to take his bare chest in, for he grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up like you weigh nothing at all, walks you over to the bed and drops you on the mattress. 
Only at this moment are you allowed to let your eyes wander over the muscles of his torso, probably the only part of his body you've already had the pleasure of seeing in the past, although mostly in not so pleasant times, when he needed to be patched up. This time it's totally different. Your hungry gaze devours every inch of him, glinting in twisted pleasure when it meets the scars that you remember having tended to yourself. 
You're too eager to touch him again to keep laying there waiting. Quickly throwing your boots off the side of the bed, you crawl on your knees toward him, hands latching on the inseam of his trousers to unzip them. In the meantime he yanks his own boots off his feet and out of the way, with eyes glued to yours. 
When you're done with his zip, before you can tug his jeans down, he pushes you back on the mattress and joins you on the bed, settling himself on top of your body, knees resting at either side of your legs. 
“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.”
The way his raspy voice breaks a little as he ushers his confession makes your stomach twist.
“Do w-what, exactly?”
His hands move on your collarbone, peeling the thin straps of your dress and your bra off your shoulders. You allow him to tug them down your chest as you look up at him with nothing but unyielding passion. His eyes wander over your freshly uncovered breasts and you can see his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, jaw setting hard. 
He takes a moment to answer, staring down at you, perhaps struggling to give voice to something that has been swirling against the recesses of his mind for quite some time. 
“Push you on a bed, pin your body under mine and… taste you.”
A sharp shiver runs up your spine at his words, heart skipping a beat. 
One of his palms closes around your breast, firmly squeezing the soft flesh, while the other lifts the skirt of your dress up to your stomach. Without missing a beat he bends down beneath your thighs and presses his mouth against your panties, just above your lower belly. 
“Oh!”
Your hips buck up on their own at the sudden stomach-churning contact. His free hand moves to rest on your upper thigh, pressing your body back against the mattress. 
"This is uncharted territory, innit?"
"I-It is, Lieutenant…", you match his playful tone even though your voice is but a mere whisper, struggling to get out in between your ragged breaths, "...nobody has yet claimed that path..."
You hear him hum in appreciation and you feel his voice too, vibrating against your core.
"Don't mind if I do."
You take a sharp breath as you feel his lips press against you again, only lower this time, teasing your most sensitive part. The thin fabric of your underwear does nothing to muffle the intense touch and yet the obstacle irritates you, you want it out of the way and Simon seems to share your feelings. Both his hands move on your hips, grabbing the hem of your panties and sliding them down and off your legs. A thrill curses through your whole body at the sight of your undies being tucked inside the back pocket of his jeans. Simon’s eyes crinkle lightly as they watch your reaction, lips curving into a smirk.
You don’t really care about them now, whether he’s planning on returning them or making you walk out of here butt naked. All your attention is drawn to the cool breath blowing against your delicate skin, turning hot only a second later as Simon leans closer, until you feel his lips meet your heat and cause you to whimper. The cloth of his mask grazing against your folds only adds to the stimulating touch.
His hot tongue swipes up your core once, twice, with hands spreading you wider for him to reach every inch of you. Another slow stripe from your entrance up to your clitoris and your body shakes in ecstasy. He latches his lips to you and starts to suck hard, swirling his tongue around your nub and dragging it up and down along your wetness. 
He said it. He wanted to taste you. And that is exactly what he’s doing, with no hesitation whatsoever, nor waste of time. You’re already a quivering mess beneath him, pathetic whines falling from your parted lips, hands closing in fists as fingers dig into the sheets. 
“F-Fuck, Simon…”
You feel his soft chuckle against you; it drives you mad. 
He shifts from his position, lips pulling away as he grabs the back of your thighs to tug you closer and pin your spread legs to your stomach. You chance a look at him through your heavy lidded eyes. His lips and chin are wet with your juices, the sight ignites a fire inside you that you’ve never felt before. The way you’re spread for him, your privateness so thoroughly exposed for the first time in your life… you thought that you’d be embarrassed, that you’d be awfully shy to show yourself like this, especially to him. You do sense a faint tightness in your stomach and a warmth spreading in your face, yet there’s another feeling prevailing over the rest. A feeling that surges from Simon himself; the way he leans back down, hands travelling up your body to grab your breasts, the way he’s devouring you like a starved man, the way he’s taking care of you, making sure to pleasure you, to make you feel good… It allows no room for awkwardness or discomfort, only a warm pervasive and soothing feeling of pure care and devotion to wash over you and envelope you whole. 
The lewd sound of his mouth working against you has long prevailed over the music and it only seems to grow in tone the more the tightening of the heat in your belly grows in intensity. You feel it coming, the high is close. Your hands fly toward him, landing on his head. You grab his mask, tug at it, feeling it slip from its place, then you freeze abruptly, as soon as you realise what you’re doing. You look down again, instantly meeting Simon’s hard stare. A strange glint passes over his eyes; he seems to ponder something for a moment then come to a final decision. In a few dismissive moves, he pulls away from you, grabs the dark fabric curled under his nose and yanks it off his head, throwing it carelessly on the floor. 
Your heart is sent into a frenzy. It no longer knows what to do; whether it should keep thundering in your heart for the intense and building pleasure or stopping altogether for the shock of what you have just witnessed. Your wide eyes wander toward him, curious and hesitant at the same time but they only catch a glimpse of his bare face before he disappears between your legs once again, latching his mouth on you even more greedily than before, possibly feeling more free in his movements without the mask impediment. You want to watch him, stare at him as he drives you to heaven but your head falls back on the mattress, eyes squeezing shut and back arching sharply as a wave of skin-crawling chills sets your entire body aflame. It is nothing like the orgasms you’ve had before, when you touch yourself. This is a new feeling; it’s intense, it goes to your head, it makes you dizzy and wordless. It makes you feel loved. 
Simon keeps moving against you, tongue curling at your entrance, gathering up the fruits of his hard work. His hands still pinning your thighs close to your stomach, fingers digging in your soft flesh as he eases your shakes. 
Your mind is still struggling to come out of the haze when your hand blindly travels down in search of him. Fingers tug at his short locks of hair, urging him to come up to meet you. He lingers a moment longer to press a soft kiss on your swollen bundle of nerves, then on your lower belly and between your breasts as he makes his ascent. Finally he faces you, eyes meeting again. 
If your body wasn't already heavily overwhelmed, the sight of his beautiful sharp features would send all your senses into overdrive. 
He looks at you so openly, dark eyes twinkling with adoration and what you can only read as vulnerability, that you find yourself unsure of how to act. 
Would this special moment turn awkward if you were to make a comment on his looks? You wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Removing his mask must take such an effort… you don’t want to risk making this more stressful for him. You opt for keeping your comments to yourself, at least for now. 
Instead, you let your hand rest on his face, caressing his skin, softly, slowly, as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world and you have to handle it with utmost care. You hope that by doing this you can show him and reassure him that everything is ok, nothing has changed, surely not for the worse. That you deeply appreciate the fact that he decided to let his guards down, to be vulnerable with you. That’s what you try to convey with your adoring gaze and your tender touch, and you sincerely hope it reaches him.
When you feel him lean into your touch, a content smile spreads on your face and you instinctively tilt your head up, capturing his damp lips in a passionate kiss that instantly rekindles the desire inside of you. Simon matches your eagerness, hands travelling down your body to caress, grab, squeeze, grope and tease anything he finds on his path. You do the same, mapping his muscular torso, skimming your fingers down to his navel. 
For a moment, only a moment, you hesitate to go lower as you get caught up in your head, worries threatening to hold you back again, but the way he interrupts the contact of your lips to place a trail of sloppy kisses down the sensitive skin of your neck makes your worries fade again and you slip your hand inside his unzipped jeans. You relish in hearing the guttural sound that rewards your action; it compels you to rub your hand over his boxers with more confidence, feeling his bulge with a light squeeze.
Simon hastily brings his hand to his waistband and tugs it down, his boxers receive the same treatment. Your hand now closes around his erection, giving it a few tentative strokes. He draws a sharp breath.
“ Bloody hell , princess…”
He mutters in the crook of your neck and you shiver. His reaction encourages you to increase the vigour of your movements.
“Is this ok?”
He hums softly, hips starting to buck in sync with your hand. He lets you fondle him, drag your fingers on the tip wet with precum, make him moan in pleasure as your hold around his girth tightens… then he pulls away, grabs your hand and brings it to his lips for a soft peck on its back.
You follow his movements, eyes drawn to his lips then flickering down to his cock. By the touch you assumed it was pretty big and the sight only confirms your thoughts but it shocks you anyway.
You hear him huff a laugh through his nose.
“Do you think you can take me, mh?”
Your eyes dart back to his face, meeting his amused look.
“I don’t know…”, you bite your lips, the angles of your mouth curling up in a playful smirk, “but I sure as hell ain’t gonna back down from a challenge.”
Your heart soars with joy seeing his face crack into a pleasantly surprised expression, a chuckle coming out of his mouth.
“Good girl.”
He pins you with his mesmerising gaze, bending down on you again. He leans on the side, toward the bedside table. You crane your neck to watch. His hand slips into a black smoking-bowl and comes back with a small metallic sachet. Protection. Of course. This place is well-equipped. Your curious eyes keep following his movements as he takes the condom and secures it onto his throbbing erection. You swallow as his gaze moves back on your face, your stomach starts churning again. He seems to sense your nervousness and leans down, hand grabbing your jaw, eyes piercing right into yours.
“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll be gentle.”
You nod with a smile, then take a deep breath.
“It’s okay. I trust you, Si.”
He leans in for a quick soft kiss, hand guiding his erection between your legs, tip rubbing against your slit to coat it in your wetness. Your whole body tingles in anticipation. 
“Stop me anytime if you need to.”
He waits for your confirmation before he slides in, bit by bit, easing you to the intrusion. An instant groan comes out of his mouth.
“Oh, you’re so fucking tight!”
Your brows furrow, your jaw sets, soft cries come out of you as he settles inside your walls but you don’t stop him. He kisses your neck, right on the spot he learned that makes you quiver the most, your hands clutched at his sides. It doesn’t take long for the nagging feeling to fade and for you to get accustomed to the sensation as your core stretches to welcome him fully.
Simon feels your body relax and starts to push into you, slowly, carefully, letting out pleased grunts of his own. His hands wrap around the back of your thighs and lift them up to his waist. You latch your legs around his body, a maneuver that allows him to bury his cock deeper inside you and that causes a loud moan to erupt from you.
“G-God… That’s…”
His lips trail back from your neck to your jaw, teasingly brushing your skin, until they hover on your open mouth; his eyes take in your contorting features with a pleased smile. 
He rocks at a steady pace against you while his hands roam your body, travel up your hips, caress your breasts, skim along the shape of your arms, stopping only to let his fingers interlace with yours, and pin your hands down to the mattress, at either side of your head.
You feel your lucidity slip from you completely. No coherent words come out of you, only a nonsensical mumbling. The way he’s thrusting inside of you, so deep and precise, hitting that perfect spot at each push, it takes every fiber in your being not to scream out loud and make the whole pub know how Simon’s fucking you sensless. 
You can only focus on how you’re connected to him, how he is filling you up so beautifully, how your bodies move wonderfully together; it’s almost like a dance, a primal animalistic dance that belongs to you two only. You even have the music to accompany your dance moves, a soft sensual melody that perfectly complements your passion-imbued union of trembling bodies.
So this is how it feels to have sex? This is how it feels to be wholly consumed by lust and desire? Or could this overwhelming sensation simply be Simon’s doing? To have him make love to you?
“Y/n…”
It takes a lot of effort for you to hum back in response.
Simon’s lips crush clumsily against yours as his movements become frantic and sloppier. He must be close to reaching the high. And so are you. Your eyelids are heavy, your sight slightly blurred and unfocused.
“Si, I think I’m about to-”
He pulls away from your lips, spine straightening, piercing eyes landing on your face as one of his hands slips from yours and travels along your body, down toward your core. He deliberately rubs your slit with his palm before he picks up a hectic waving motion to stroke your swollen nub, immediately triggering a shock wave of shivers to spiral up your back. Your head spins at the additional stimuli. Your eyes squeeze shut, cries fall out of your mouth as you contort in pleasure.
You feel his other hand grab your jaw and shake it lightly, demanding your attention.
“Eyes on me, beautiful.”
You look up at him with glazed eyes, dizzy and yearning for your release. With every stroke and every thrust you lose yourself more and more into the bliss.
His hand settles on your neck, closing around your throat, not hard enough to delay your breathing but providing you with such a thrilling and wicked pressure that makes you salivate and that instantly sends heat flaring in your belly, causing your need to build faster and even more intense.
Panting hard, your hands now free, you grip onto Simon’s strong arms while you progressively lose focus on every way he’s indulging your desire, instead centring your heightened senses on the feelings he’s awakening. The last thread of restraint then finally snaps and you reach the peak, core lightening with an answering flame that you’ve never felt before. You lose yourself in the waves of pleasure overtaking you, barely taking notice of Simon’s rutting inside you once, twice, three more times before his body goes still against you and a deep groan erupts from him. Both of you anchor the other’s body, pressing together, relishing in the other’s shudders and panting breaths. You’re so flush against him that you can feel his heart, challenging your own in a speed race and then gradually slowing down.
Chest heaving, you cradle the back of his head, letting your fingers thread between the roots of his hair, while he blows his hot breath on the crook of your neck as you both ease down from your highs. The warmth of his body is comforting against yours, you never want him to let go. The rousing feeling of his cock still buried inside you, resting between your fluttering walls is one you could easily get used to. It almost takes your breath away when Simon slides out of you, leaving you bare.
His damp lips press against your boiling skin, trailing up your jaw. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, committing this idyllic moment to memory. 
His thumb gently strokes your chin, fingers resting upon your cheek. When you open your eyes, he's already looking at you with the loveliest smile you've ever seen graze his face. You return it with one of your own.
"Si..." you pause, staring deep into his eyes. There's so much you want to say, a multitude of emotions running wild and untamed inside of you that needs to be addressed and yet you struggle to find the right words to tell him how you feel.
The realisation of what has just happened downs on you. You've spent years fantasising about this moment, fearing the real thing wouldn't even come close to your idealised perfect first time. Wondering when, where, with whom you would live through this experience. You're euphoric to admit to yourself that the real thing has surpassed the fantasy by a landslide. 
"I'm... glad it was you."
It sounds silly when you say it. You could have chosen from a billion other thoughts you had swirling in your head, yet this one drowned out the rest. But as silly as it may sound, it’s the truth: you’re beyond thrilled he was your first. There’s no other man in your life that you trust, respect, and love as much as him with whom you could share such intimacy. 
You see the angle of his lips curl up to one side, the pad of his thumb softly brushing the outline of your bottom lip. 
" I'm glad it was me ."
Your face cracks as you erupt in a giggle. With your palm against his cheek, you gently push him away. "Simon..."
He smiles down at you, his eyes crinkling as he leans down again to kiss the crown of your head before drawing all the way back and getting off the bed. 
Your gaze follows him as he tosses the used condom into the trash can and pulls up his underwear and jeans. As he picks up the rest of his clothes from the floor and gets dressed again, your devoted gaze glides up and down his body, a permanent smile engraved to your lips. You feel so lucky to be able to witness such a sight… You still have a hard time believing your eyes.
“Now, who’s enjoying the show ?”
His amused glance meets yours, and you give him a sheepish smile, followed by a shrug.
"I'm just taking it all in..."
"Oh, you've already taken it all in , princess."
You let out a shocked scoff, your mouth wide open. You dismissively wave your hand in front of your face and shake your head, as you feel a crawl of heat flooding to your cheeks. 
"Oh, shut up..."
You love his sense of humour. It’s one of the qualities you like the most about him. And now that you’re… well, even closer to him, the sarcasm is only bound to get more pungent. Not that you’d complain about it.
His low chuckle fills your ears as you distract yourself by adjusting your bra and dress, then taking a seat on the side of the bed to slip your boots back on. You notice a heap of black and white fabric on the floor at your feet and bend down to pick it up. It's his balaclava.
The thought doesn’t even have time to fully form in your mind that you’re already pulling the mask over your head. Unfortunately there’s no mirror in the room to check your reflection, to see how the skull fits you but the cloth feels surprisingly nice against your skin and… you can smell his scent.
The sudden lack of rustling from behind you causes you to spin around and you find Simon staring at you, holding your jacket. He walks toward you, handing you the garment, reaching then for your face to adjust the fabric on your nose and on your chin. He stops to give you an appraising look.
"It looks better on me."
You chuckle, smacking him playfully on the chest. “Oh, c’mon… what if I want to wear one, too?”
"And hide your beautiful face? Negative.”
“Well, then…”, you pin him with a challenging look, palms pressing hard against your cheeks, securing the mask on your head. “I won’t let you hide your beautiful face, either.”
You see him softly shake his head as he huffs a chuckle through his nose. After a moment, he reaches for his back pocket and retrieves your undies, waving them high above your head. 
“What? You’ll put those on your head instead?”
You try to suppress the laugh by biting on your lips but it erupts out of you anyway, like a river in flood. The pointed look he gives you only makes it worse.
“Alright, alright…”
Still snickering, you pull on the fabric and peel it off your head, holding it out to him. 
He takes the mask from you but doesn’t let go of your undies. He puts them back in his pocket as casually as he took them out.
You scoff, tilting your head to the side. "Really?" 
“I’m keeping them, as a memento.”
You stare at him, appraising his solemn expression. If he wants them then you’ll let him have them - the fabric is ruined anyway. They're not even your favourite pair, thankfully.
“First and last time you steal something from me, Si!”
“Can’t make promises, princess.” 
Your chest swells as you try to read between the lines. It's inevitable. You can't help but wonder if he means to tell you something else. Will there be a next time, or multiple next times? Does he plan on stealing something else? Like, your heart? To be honest, he's already halfway there, but he doesn't need to know that. At least not yet. 
You keep on looking into each other's eyes for a bit longer. You think you can detect the profound fondness behind his look. Your lips curl up in a shy smile.
“Ehm… I believe we kept the guys waiting long enough." you say, breaking the silence. "We should get back downstairs."
He gives you a curt nod but instead of moving away, he draws closer to you. Taking your chin between his fingers, he leans down and angles your head to brush one more kiss against your lips. The contact is strikingly gentle and it takes your breath away. It’s a kiss infused with unspoken words of devotion, promises, feelings which are too strong to be shared so early on but that are already there, growing, blossoming. Both your hearts are gardens in bloom. 
He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours for a lingering moment before taking a step back and disguising his face once again. 
The action saddens you but at the same time it fills your chest with pride; you're the only one who has been blessed to bask in the beauty of his seldom-seen bare face and no one else will receive such special treatment. Not today. Hopefully never. Is it selfish of you to wish that? Perhaps, but you don't care. Not when images of your lovemaking are still so fresh in your mind. Not when you can still feel the worshipping touch of his hands and tongue on your body. Certainly not when the cool, humid air of the room hits the wetness of your exposed core beneath the dress. 
You exchange a knowing look before moving towards the door and walking down the stairs together. That soothing tune, now linked with poignant core memories, floods in your ears once again, growing louder as you return to the main area and towards the bar. Your team is still at the counter, exactly where you left them... how long ago? You have no idea how much time has passed. You were too engrossed in your passion to pay attention to the outside world and its trivialities.
Johnny glances behind his shoulder just as you and Simon make a beeline toward the group. You can see his lips moving; he must be saying something to the others because they all crane their heads to look at you before returning to their drinks. Soap is the only one who whirls around, bivouacing on his seat and all over the counter like a fucking braggart as he meets your eyes and winks at you. 
Oh, he'll take yours and Simon's hookup as a personal victory, and he'll brag about it; you already know it. But you're far too happy right now to be bothered by it. Let him gloat. You're the one who got the reward, anyway. 
When you eventually make it to the bar, no one acknowledges your arrival. Nobody says anything about your absence or the dance prior to that. Their silence only serves to emphasise that they are all aware of what happened. The furtive glances they cast your way, some more mischievous than others, serve as plain confirmation. 
"Now that we're all here, I suppose we can head out." 
The captain's voice calls out to everyone as he stands up from the barstool. "Unless the two lovebirds fancy one last drink?" 
You try to ignore the appellation he used and the way your stomach flipped in response. You raise one hand and shake your head, avoiding his eyes as well as the urge to glance up at Simon. "I'm good."
A beat.
"Alright then. Off we go."
On cue, everyone gets off their seats, some knocking back their glasses, others stretching their legs. You take advantage of the shuffle to walk over to Johnny and hold out the key to him. He takes it back without a word but the sly smile playing on his face is hard to miss. You hope at least he has the decency to hold off of grilling you for deets until you’re back at the HQ.
You seem to catch a movement in your peripheral vision: Price giving Simon a firm pat on the shoulder? You’re tempted to turn your head to take a better look when a loud scoff interrupts you and draws your attention back to your best mate.
"Bloody hell, y/n! You and L.T. are not joking around!" 
Your brows furrow upon hearing his remark and when you follow the trajectory of his stunned look, your eyes widen as they meet the cloth of your undies poking out of his back pocket. You spring into action right away, grasping the exposed edge to yank it farther inside his jeans. Simon’s own hand reaches behind him to wrap around yours, fingers interlacing, as he maintains his focus on Price in front of him. Your chest swells at the gesture, heat rising in your cheeks,  but you manage to turn around and zap Johnny with a fierce glare anyway.
He makes a show of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. However, the grin he flashes you is so contagious that you find yourself returning one of your own.
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It appears like you're in for a ride full of taunts, jokes, knowing looks and funny name-calling. Your mates will give you two no rest… but who gives a shit about it? Simon said it first. Why should you care? You'll take this and much worse if it means getting the chance to explore your feelings with the man of your dreams and spending many more nights out - or inside his spacious office - dancing together.
MORE STORIES 🥀
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m0chac0ffee · 1 year
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"Simon, what do you plan on doing when it's our turn to retire from the military?"
"... Maybe open a small café, a coffee and tea shop."
"What would it's name be?"
"'M not sure..."
"I'll help you brainstorm."
....
.....
"... What about 'intersteller'?"
"You think that name'll fit someone who looks like me?" Simon chuckled quietly.
"You're right..."
"...'skulliosis'...." Simon whispered, laughing slightly at the sudden thought.
"Absolutely not." You giggled.
Small smirks turned into giddy smile, and giddy smiles turned into full-blown laughing. You eventually settled down, and a comfortable silence took over the room.
"I promise we'll make your little café dream come true, Simon."
"You promise to be by my side when we do?"
"Of course."
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3K notes · View notes
mockerycrow · 8 months
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UNDER THE SURFACE (Ghost x GN!Reader)
ghost masterlist — ghost icon by @yumethefrostypanda concept post here!
authors note; this is not my best work tbh, i wish i could improve it somehow, but i’m hoping you guys will like it anyway. Pretty sure this is my longest singular post, too! 4.7k words :-)
[WARNINGS: angst, spiraling thoughts, near panic attack, hurt/comfort, inaccurate medical stuff, vague descriptions of physical violence, very brief mention of possible self harm.]
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YOU WERE USED to Simon being gone for long periods of time; you have been his roommate for two years now, nearly three. You know he’s military, it’s part of the reason why you were able to score being his roommate in the first place. At first, it was a very awkward arrangement. Simon himself wasn’t a very awkward person, no—he’s actually quite charismatic in his own way, a way that you could get along with. One of the reasons why the arrangement was strange at first was because you weren’t exactly able to get a one on one tour of the flat before agreeing, but you were a bit more trusting of this mysterious man because a mutual friend—Kate—sent you his contact information, considering you were looking for a new place to live since your lease was up.
Simon’s flat was void of any personality, really. Yes, you could tell by the way he organized everything that he had been in the military, probably for quite a while—but there weren’t any photos. No gaming systems; you discovered he did have a bookcase of quite a few books, but it was covered in a layer of dust. Despite this, when examining the books he owned, you could tell they were worn down—definitely loved. It made you smile a bit, seeing the different variety of books. A bit of personality, you think. Besides his room, it was like a completely furnished, no personality flat. You weren’t allowed in his room, not unless he gave you explicit permission, which you honored his boundaries. Simon was kind enough to offer you a space in his home—but you know he was quite weary of you, which was understandable. He helped you move in and you could tell he was watching you and your body language. Searching you for danger—but he slowly warmed up to you.
Another thing that you discovered that Simon was quite emotionally.. constipated. Over the first few months, you could tell he didn’t sleep as much as he probably should. He was always awake before you, and you would always find him in the kitchen, sipping on a hot cup of tea. After a few weeks of this routine—Simon rising much earlier than you, you figured maybe he couldn’t break the military’s strict routines.. Until one night you woke up from the sound of his heavy footsteps walking down the hall. You tensed in your bed and you sat up because Simon was silent as a ghost all the time. You didn’t even know if it was him at first, so in your half-asleep panicked state, you felt for your phone and you texted Simon’s contact, asking a messily texted “is that you walking around?” You blink your sleepiness away and wipe your eye as your phone vibrates with a “yeah. sorry.”
That was the first time you got some notion that Simon was thrown off guard from something, after another week of awakening from his noises, you began to realize that he was experiencing night terrors every couple of nights. His nightmares were never a thing you two discussed, exactly.. It was more of an unspoken rule to not talk about it. You would occasionally find yourself in the kitchen around the time you calculated when Simon would wake up—and you were right nearly every time—and you just.. coincidentally made him a cup of tea. To Simon’s pleasant surprise, you managed to get his tea right every single time. You’ve had your fair share of night terrors, so you knew how it could be sometimes. You wanted to do something nice for him, and he seemed flustered every time.
It took you a while to get used to him being gone for long periods of time. Simon appreciated that you never questioned too deeply into his career, even the times he would come home sporting a new injury, you were always willing to play doctor for him. Simon saw the concern in your eyes and sometimes he would share small stories of what happened, or maybe to get you to stop thinking about his injuries, a small story about his teammates. You slowly learned their names over the course of a year and a half, and you learned Simon’s rank as well. He is a lieutenant, and there’s a man called Captain Price, another man named Sergeant Kyle Garrick, and one more man named Sergeant John MacTavish, who Simon referred to as “Johnny” fondly.
It wasn’t common that Simon talked about work, which is the reason why it took about a year and a half to even get the information you did out of him. Over the time you’ve lived with him, you had decorated the flat to feel more comfortable and home-y. Simon only had a few requests, which you honored, and one of them was no pictures of him with his face showing. You shot him a curious and questioning look, but as always—you didn’t question him, and he was very thankful. You had gotten a few indoor plants as well that didn’t need much caring for and you wanted to liven up the place, y’know? You were okay with Simon not sharing much about his past or his work, because he was willing to listen to your little rambles about your interests and work. You were a bit hesitant, but Simon was very emotive and he never seemed annoyed or brushed you off.
Despite Simon’s reluctance to share anything of his own, he always heard you out if you needed to vent about something. He made sure you knew you could talk to him, even on days where you felt like you had no one to go to. You spent an entire night with him, just talking about anything and everything. It was the first real conversation you felt like you have had with anyone in such a long time. It was also the first night Simon really saw you. He watched as your eyebrows furrowed from uncomfortableness, the vulnerability being nearly too much to handle; something he could relate to on a personal level. So when you started showing these signs, he knew exactly when to change the subject. Simon quickly realized how to read you, and he somehow knew what you needed at different moments.
Simon flies into the airport late at night with a small duffel bag, tagged as a military bag. He sends you a quick “be home soon.” text. Simon doesn’t expect you to answer due to it being around 3 in the morning, and you indeed don’t answer him. He catches a taxi to your shared flat. Simon collects his things from the taxi before paying the driver and sending them off, and Simon lets out a slow breath as he takes in the achingly familiar sight of the place he lives in. He tugs the hood that remains sitting over his head closer to his face, which is covered by a black surgical mask. His hand tightens on the straps of the duffel bag before he approaches the flat building, taking out his keys as he approaches the elevator. Once Simon reaches the third floor, he wastes no time getting to the front door, and he isn’t sure why, but his heart is pounding inside of his chest.
Simon unlocks both the top lock and the doorknob to enter the flat—something he had taught you to do every single time. He pockets his keys as he enters and Simon pauses for a moment because he can’t put his finger on it, but something feels off the second he glanced inside. His eyes trail the living room which is clean, not one thing out of place. Simon takes a deep breath and he doesn’t brush off the weird feeling, because even when there’s no evidence something happened—he’s usually right. The blanket on the couch is perfectly folded and laid over the back cushions, the mini bookcase by the TV is dusted as always, your shoes.. Are not by the front door, but a different pair are..? These either are not your shoes, or they are new. You always warned Simon about bringing people over, and you definitely would’ve told him this time. The lamp is on in the living room, but it seems the lights are out everywhere else. Simon silently goes through his routine when he gets back late at night—taking his jacket off and hanging it up, he leaves his boots by the door, and he drops his keys into the dish.
Next step to his routine is to step into the kitchen and get a cup of actually good quality tea, unlike the shit the military provides him. He fills up the electric kettle and sets a timer on it, grabbing his favorite mug and the box of his favorite tea from the cabinets. Simon glances down the dark hall—he’s seeking for a sign of life from you because you’re usually getting up around this time to greet him. No matter what, you always seem to know when he returns—yet you aren’t leaving your room. There’s no light emitting from the hall nor underneath the doors, and fuck, it’s eating at him. Something is wrong—and what the fuck is it? Simon stands there for a moment, turning his head to watch the blue light blinking on the electric kettle. He watches it blink slowly as he tries to rack his brain for what could be wrong—maybe those shoes are someone else’s, but he could just have a stern conversation with you about it later. Maybe you came back from drinking with friends—no, if that was the case, he knows for a fact your belongings would be everywhere, maybe even a spilled glass of water in the kitchen. He’s had to clean that up a couple of times.
He raises his wrist and pulls up his sleeve a bit to look at his digital watch; it’s nearly 0400 now. Simon puts his hands on the counter, leaning his body weight against it. Did something happen at work, maybe that’s why it feels off? You’ve always had a commanding presence like he has, so maybe— “Fuck.” Simon hisses quietly, hooking a finger into the strap of his black face mask and he rips it off, tossing it without care onto the counter. He leans forward and checks the kettles timer for a second, and then he’s walking towards the hall. Simon passes by his room and he walks up to yours, and he tries to turn the doorknob to peak in to check on you, but—it’s locked? Simon lets out a harsh breath before trying the door again, and yeah, it’s locked. Simon swears under his breath and he knocks on the door, his stomach twisting and turning. Something is wrong, very very wrong, very fucking wrong—
You unlock the door and you open it just enough for you to peak out, and you use your phone flashlight to shine it in Simon’s face. He squints and puts his hand up, his voice rumbling in his chest. “Hey—you locked your door.” He points out quietly, and you’re just staring at him, your eyes wide and alert. Simon’s anxiety lessens, but your reaction doesn’t make it go away. “Y’alright?” Simon drawls out, his hand on the wood panel of the door. You let out a harsh breath and you let go of your phone, letting out a quiet, “Simon..” before you suddenly pull your door completely open, and you wrap your arms around his thick torso into a hug. Simon swears his heart jumps into his throat and then into his stomach, bouncing back into his chest because you hugged him. You two were never particularly touchy like that, maybe a fleeting touch here or two, usual drunken affection from you—but you barely ever hugged him like this, even when he returned from deployments. Your touch burns hot through his clothes, and he knows you wouldn’t touch him without asking, so when you do? He wraps an arm around you, his free arm resting on your shoulder. “Hey..” Simon breathes out, lost for words.
You don’t hold on long enough for the uncomfortable worry to creep up his spine just yet. You rip yourself away from him like he burned you, his hands falling to his sides. You offer a tight, weak smile—one that you could easily play off as a sign of fatigue. Simon’s breath stutters as he watches your hands linger near your chest in a subconscious defensive gesture, your fingers closing into a fist for a moment; as if you’re uncomfortable, almost overstimulated. Simon feels the way for the light switch and he flips it on, and your room looks normal—but you look.. off. You look a bit clammy, almost like you’re sick or bouncing off the walls with anxiety. His eyes flick to your fingers and the skin besides your thumbnail and your middle finger are picked to all hell, and you just.. don’t seem right. All of these.. signs, you’re showing are actually very subtle—he just notices everything about you. Simon knows what food you favor, what your favorite color is, what social situations what you tick, what makes you mad—he knows it all. “Three months went by slow,” You murmur, trying to start a conversation. Simon’s eyes narrow at you for a moment as he watches you back up to your bed; no, you don’t turn around, you back up. You don’t turn your back to Simon at all. Fuck. He watches you lift your mattress, causing him to lift an eyebrow. “They did,” Simon confirms. “What happened while I was gone?”
This wasn’t an unusual question for Simon to ask; but it had a completely different meaning to you this time. You feel your muscles tense as you grab something from under your mattress, and you put it back down. It glints from the overhead light in your bedroom—a.. pocket knife of some sort, a switchblade perhaps. Simon’s eyes narrow at how you pocket it oh so quickly into your pocket. “Nothing much,” You reply quickly, smoothing out your shirt. “Same old same old, work has been fine, uh..” You trail off for a moment, clearing your throat. “Look, let me take a shower—I’m sure you’re itching for something to eat, huh?” Simon watches you open your drawers and pick out some pants and a shirt. The knife comes to mind—why are you taking it with you? “I can make it myself.” Simon responds, his feet planted firmly where he had been standing the whole time. You shake your head and close the drawers once you collect your clothes.
“It’s tradition, Simon. I gotta.” You offer a stronger smile as you make your way towards the door, still avoiding showing your back towards him. Simon watches as you glance at your bedroom window before exiting your room, muttering a quiet “close the door when you leave”, which Simon obeys. He shuts the door with a click, and he watches you quickly scurry down the hall towards the bathroom. “Just let me shower first.” And with that, you step into the bathroom, close the door and you lock it before Simon can interject. He stands there for a moment, stunned. His chest tightens for a moment because you just felt so far away. You’ve created such unwanted distance—even as you’re not very touchy with him, you still bother him for every detail he’s willing to give up when he returns. You are constantly making jokes, inviting him into the kitchen when you’re about to make a welcome home meal—but this time? You were hiding in your room, locking your door, bringing a knife with you—in front of him. Did you think that could slip past him? Did something happen whilst he was gone, to cause you to bring it with you? Is it for self defense against something or someone?— Is it to use on yourself?
Simon feels his stomach turn at his thoughts. He shakes his head and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He walks past the bathroom, his footsteps stuttering for a moment in front of the door before he presses his lips into a thin line, returning to the kitchen to make himself some tea, the electric kettle had beeped long ago.
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The next late morning, not much was different. Simon only slept a few hours, three or four—as per usual, he still woke up before you. He threw on a pair of sweatpants, and a black hoodie. He made his tea, made you a cup of what you prefer to drink in the morning, and he made a light breakfast for you both. Despite being in the military for a while and relying on cooks as well as MRE’s to get through his days, Simon is a decent cook. He made himself some sausage and fried eggs, and he made a plate or a bowl of what you prefer to eat in the morning. Simon sighs for a moment as he glances at the time—around 1100, and you still haven’t emerged from your room which is odd, especially now that Simon just came back home. He takes a moment to look at his food, and he decides then and there he will drag you out if he has to. Simon scoops up his plate as well as your food, and he heads down the hall towards your room. With his hands full, Simon balances for a second as he gently kicks the door as a way to knock, and then he stands on both of his feet again. “Oi, wake up!” Simon shouts, leaning close to the door to listen for your movement.
It takes a good minute and when Simon is about to knock again; he hears your doorknob unlock and you peak out the door, your eyes wide and alert again, although it’s obvious you had just woken up. You seem to relax when your tired mind’s gears turn and you realize it’s just Simon. You open your door wider and you rub your eye, and he spots the knife in your hand, partially obscured by the door. “Mm, sorry. I overslept.” You say, your voice heavy with sleep, vibrating in your chest. Simon makes a noncommittal noise before holding out your food, which you stare at for a moment you take it, your lips twitching into a weak smile. “Thanks, Simon.” He waits a few seconds, and you nearly shut your door on him.
Thanks, Simon. That’s all??
“Can I eat in your room wit’you?” Simon gruffs out, feeling sudden determination from this weird act you have going on. You blink for a moment and then you nod. “Just give me a sec.” You murmur. You shut the door in his face and he hears you shuffling about, moving something—sounds like your mattress. Are you putting your knife away??—and then you open your door, gesturing for Simon to walk into your room. Surely you don’t think you can hide this type of thing from him of all people, right? Why are you hiding it from him?
Simon enters your room, and you close the door behind him. You never used to do that—“What happened?” Simon stares at you for an answer, watching your face contort in a bit of confusion. You don’t say anything at first, and when you were about to open your mouth, Simon speaks. “I mean this in the nicest way possible—do ya take me f’a wanker?” Your jaw drops for a moment, your eyebrows furrowing. “What? No, of course not, Simon. Nothing happened, I’m not sure why—“
“Don’t,” Simon interrupts, putting his plate of food on your dresser. “Something has happened, and you’re lyin’ to me. You’re jumpy, you’re carryin’ a blood knife around, lovie—don’t think you can get that past me—and you won’t turn your back on me.” His lips press into a line as he watches your shoulder hunch up a bit, in an all too familiar defensive, tense position. The pit in Simon’s stomach begins to grow as you avert your eyes from, too. “You are barely talkin’ when you bloody damn near talk my ear off when I come home—you said, ‘Thanks, Simon.’ Not an over the top reaction about me doing something for th’both of’us, not a invite in, and last night—you’ve been locking your door.” You put your food down near yourself, and Simon catches the way your fingers are trembling. “I.. I’m allowed to lock my door, Simon. You don’t need to question me.” You say, attempting to hold a steady voice which barely works, your voice nearly cracking on the last word. Your heart is racing out of your chest and all you want to do is bolt at the door; which Simon catches on to. You watch him as he slowly begins to step in front of the door. “You tell me everything—even how your damn showers go. Why won’t you tell me this?” He demands, and his heart is pounding against his ribcage, too.
He watches your face contort into several different emotions and feelings; panic, sadness, anger, relief—the whole nine yards. Simon walks towards you when you begin to sob, and you sit down on your bed to avoid collapsing. His chest tightens as he murmurs name, wondering if he went too far. You reach your hands for him and not for one second does Simon hesitate this time. He wraps his arms around you, sitting right next to you on your mattress, your thighs touching together. He reaches up and rubs the nape of your neck as you openly sob and shutter into the crook of his neck and in his arms. His skin burns from your heat seeping into his clothes, a lively warmth that burns so hot but he welcomes so much more than he remembers that he used to. Your tears are hot, burning his skin with every drop that slides onto his neck, but he welcomes the sensation. “It’s alright, lovie. Let it out.” Simon murmurs, one of his arms tugging your body closer to his. He holds you in almost protective stance, like someone is threatening to drag you away from his grasp. You grab at the back of his hoodie, your chest beginning to heave. “Mm, no, c’mere; look at me, yeah?” Simon beckons you, his voice smooth and soft—which is extremely rare. Simon cups your cheek and lifts your head from where it rests in the crook of his neck, his hand instantly getting covered in the wetness of your tears that are streaming down your cheeks. You inhale sharply as you try to look at Simon, your eyes unfocused and you try so hard to focus on his pretty brown eyes, but you can’t seem to get ahold of yourself. You let out a panicked sob as your hand now tug on the front of his hoodie, and his voice is so far away, but his hand is molding to the curve of your jaw, like it belongs there.
You shut your eyes for a moment and you let Simon move you around as he wants, which he ends up guiding your head to his chest, and his grip loosens some so you don’t feel trapped. It takes you a moment to catch your breath, to catch your bearings; you can hear a faint ringing sound that you didn’t notice before, but you do note it’s slowly fading away, and in fades is Simon’s voice. He’s murmuring praises—and oh, he’s laying against the headboard of your bed frame now, with you laying on his chest. You feel yourself trembling against him, and embarrassment hits you hard. You’re tense—you don’t want to talk about any of it at all, but you know Simon. He will push you until you snap, even if it’s in your best interest to tell him. You reach up and play with a hoodie string of his, listening to his soft breathing. You hesitate for a moment before your lips part. “It was a week after you left.” Simon’s heart skips a beat, which you hear—you vaguely find it amusing, but he’s silent to allow you to continue. One of his hands is on your back, his thumb moving back and forth. “I..” You swallow spit so you don’t croak, as you’re convinced you might sound pathetic. As if Simon would ever think of you that way. “I was walking home from the pub, y’know, the one only just a few blocks away? It was late at night, I think the police said it was around 2 am. I stayed until closing, I was with some of my friends, uh..” You trail off for a moment, trying to recall everything that happened. Your hand pauses, and Simon senses your state. He begins to rub your back full on, murmuring, “It’s alright. Go on, then.”
You let out a shaky breath before continuing. “I was absolutely wasted, and there was this guy—grabbed me and I tried to get out of his hold, but he ended up fucking stabbing me. Robbed me of my shit.” Your voice cracks and the silence is deafening. Simon feels his heart drop into his stomach. You got stabbed? “Fuckin’ hell.. Why didn’t you call me? Or at least let me know?” Simon’s voice treats carefully, knowing that you’re still freaking out by the way you’re incredibly tense against him. “I know how important your focus is when you’re gone,” You respond, your voice staying quiet as well. You don’t look at Simon’s face because you know that you’ll break once again. You pick at the fabric of his hoodie, seeking comfort in his warmth, despite how you usually aren’t like this with him. “I didn’t want to take your focus because I know you, Simon. You would’ve backed out of whatever you were trying to do to come and help me.” Simon presses his lips into a thin line, staying quiet because you both know that you’re correct. Simon would drop everything to come home to you, to help you. “The guy nicked my lung, was in the hospital for a while.” Simon’s hand stutters for a moment, the smooth pattern of his palm rubbing your back being interrupted from shock. “Jesus—“ Simon hisses, and he can’t help but tug you closer. “You should’ve told me anyway, lovie.”
You sniffle and you rub your face into his hoodie, a muffled noncommittal noise coming from the back of your throat. He doesn’t say anything further, nor do you. Simon lays there with you on top of him, one of his hands caressing your back, the other wrapped around your body, sometimes coming up to rub the back of your neck. You don’t mention the way he doesn’t seem to tell you to move, and he doesn’t mention how touchy you’re being. Simon doesn’t want this moment to end—one where you’re vulnerable and trusting with him, one where you’re alive and well. He can’t help but wonder if he ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell him something? Simon feels simmering, muffled anger in his stomach because you didn’t want to interrupt his work for being stabbed, nicking a vital organ no less—he makes a mental note to sit you down and make you promise to call him if an issue or an injury like that ever arises again. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to push away what would happen if you didn’t do that—if that guy were to come back to try to finish the job and Simon wasn’t here, would you call him? Would you pick up your phone and dial his number? Would you text him? What if you got hurt again—would you call him?—Or would the hospital? He always imagined you’d be getting the call of his death, and not the other way around. Simon swears under his breath for a moment and opens his eyes; he doesn’t want to think about that anymore. He wants to stay in this moment with you—both himself and you alive. He glances down, your tear stained cheeks slowly drying, your eyelids closed. His fingers slide from the nape of your neck to the side, and he presses his fingers against your pulse.
Being here with you—he wants you to trust him, too; like he trusts you. That’s all he wants.
tag: @zzzennin
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fiteandflite · 2 months
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CoD fic writers, you guys are doing god’s work and ily for it BUT as a Brit I see a lot of common misconceptions / things that make me :/
1. When Soap chastises anyone for being a Brit, eg: ‘you British and your tea’. Soap is from Scotland, Scotland is British. Scotland is part of Great Britain and the British Isles. It doesn’t make sense for him to call other people Brits! He is one!
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2. ‘Oh but Soap is a Scottish nationalist he doesn’t consider Scotland part of Britain bla bla’ if that’s your interpretation of his character, fine, but his issue would still be with the English. Ireland and Wales aren’t the ones that fucked Scotland up, his nationalism would be against England. So it makes more sense for him to say ‘fuckin English and their superiority complex’ or smth like that.
3. That being said, Soap would 100% identify as Scottish, NOT British. He is British, but would leans heavily on his Scottish pride. Nuances idk.
4. Scottish people also drink a lot of tea, it’s fuckin cold up there, mmm warm leaf water
5. Slight side note but when Soap complains about the weather in Manchester? Like I feel him, fuck Manchester, but again. Soap is Scottish. Weather in Scotland is often several degrees colder than in the South.
6. Overuse of British slang. Ofc the lads use quite a lot, but some of it, like ‘buggered’, is very old fashioned. Maybe Price would use it, maybe. By all means use slang, but not every other word
7. Overuse of phonetic dialogue. Similar to above. Use it for some words that are very heavily accented, but not every single one. This goes double for American writers, I’m watching you.
That’s all I can think of atm. But honestly if you’re writing fic based on characters from another country, it’s hard to get all the finicky nuances, and 90% of the time it’s really well done. So like, you’re amazing. Keep writing.
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kivino · 5 months
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BIG GUY || SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X GN!READER
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my masterlist
ao3 link to this fic
Word counter – ~1,8k
Tags/Warnings – Fluff, a bit of miscommunication and jealousy, nothing much.
Summary – Ghost takes a liking to the nickname you give him, but struggles to understand just how much he likes it.
A/n – I’m still struggling with my school projects so wish me luck, I made this instead of making a video for my language class lmao, enjoy! i’ll add the ao3 link a bit later.
upd. link added for ao3 enjoyers!
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It didn't miss anybody, the way Ghost seemed more easygoing and light-hearted on certain days, letting recruits get away with a bit more than usual. Coincidentally, it was right after various interactions with you, be it training or sparring together, doing reports, moving some shit around the base, or just hanging out in the common room. Nobody could just figure out what it was about your interactions that lifted Simon’s spirits so high, which was notoriously hard, courtesy of how gloomy or menacing the man usually appeared. But the answer was quite simple, really.
“Thanks, big guy. Always a huge help.” Simon catches your small smile as you pat him on the shoulder and nods, barely containing his joy, he’d hate to make it too obvious. He was wearing a balaclava after all, and the smallest stretch of the fabric on his cheeks and around his mouth could easily give away how joy spread itself in his chest at the affectionate nickname.
Big guy. Big guy. Your big guy.
Nickname reserved only for him, exclusively from you. Of course, Ghost knew he’d be larger than your average soldier, and that regularly got acknowledged by others, but something about you calling him like this made it different. That pleasant warmth inside, which reminded him of the sun, or that stupid fluttering in his stomach, was…unusual to say the least. It made his mood better almost instantly, an interaction he eagerly, but silently looked forward to each day. Something about you calling him a big guy made his head spin, swimming in the endless clouds. Something Ghost hasn't felt in a long time and didn’t think he’d ever experience.
It was easy to let down his guard around you, you stripped him of the metaphorical armor just like this, with an effortless joke and that godforsaken pet name thrown in somewhere in the conversation. And just like that - Ghost’s low laugh rumbled in unison with yours, heart missing a beat when he looked into your eyes that sparkled with something unknown and captivating. It felt…good. New. And so fucking warm, Ghost felt like he was about to suffocate.
You were the newbie, your reputation preceded you but Ghost didn’t pay much attention to all the rumors swirling around on the base, like some suspicious soup in a boiling pot. He had better things to do. Like following you similarly to a lost puppy, maybe staring intently right at you with his huge brown eyes, if he was feeling brave. Or lingering somewhere around, just to make sure you’re adjusting alright. After all, all of you soldiers have to look out for each other, right? Right. Definitely.
It felt good to finally be able to just laugh and play around with someone, who didn’t seem scared shitless by his presence, mask and, well…everything about him, that seemingly drove people away. Not that he didn’t understand the reasoning for that – quite on the contrary. But you were probably just built differently, drawn to the weird, unappealing, and scary. Maybe Ghost should feel lucky that you were like that. And truth be told, he did. He liked it and he liked you.
Ghost could only hope that he lightened up the things for you the way you did for him. To ask and dig deeper would probably be too much, Simon could still feel that caution and tremble at the mere thought of trying to grow closer to you and spend even more time together. Like he’ll put a curse on you the moment he decides to open up a bit more and show you at least some inner workings of his mind on a more intimate level than just some stupid puns, or gossip and discussions about the way you spent your day. Although they were certainly pleasant, with you giving him a subtle, understanding smile from across the table, while steam from your coffee mug made it seem so domestic and wholesome like Ghost was in a dream. So, Ghost kept what little distance he could, despite his wishes, and hoped that you take your time and be patient with him.
That is until he overheard something that startled him, to say the least.  
“Well, your jokes are a bit too much for me, big guy.” You say, letting out a clear, loud laugh, as you patted Soap’s chest. Scotsman straightened up almost immediately in front of you, a proud toothy smile beaming on his face. Now Ghost felt like he just got punched in the gut, for some reason. Annoyed and on edge in a split second. But why? He truly couldn’t seem to pin down the reason for the surge of anger and something bitter in his chest, bubbling right under his skin.
It was probably nothing worth his attention. Just something weird with his body, exhaustion from the training, muscle cramps...or whatever it could be. In any case, running headfirst into dissecting his mind for something so small and minuscule? Ridiculous, really. Completely unnecessary. Of course, Simon knew that both you and Johnny weren’t saints, two rascals more like, but he had no obvious reason to feel this bitter stinging inside of him, that slithered and slipped around, followed by tightening of his throat and bobbing of his Adam’s apple. He swallowed loudly, trying to wash down that gross aftertaste on his tongue hours after he saw that interaction. And the fact that he couldn’t get it out of his head was telling enough, that he was, in fact, bothered by something.
So, Simon decided to do what he did best. Bottle it up. But then it just kept sitting in his head, that nasty feeling still eating him from the inside out. It didn’t help that he started seeing you talking with Johnny more often, while Simon unintentionally avoided you, still buried deep in his thoughts and contemplations about what caused him to feel the way he did. Of course, he couldn’t help but eavesdrop. And there you were. Laughing with him. Calling him “big guy”. Again. This only caused Simon to become more cranky and unfriendly, taking his frustrations out on poor privates who’ve never ran so many laps in their entire lives.
The only people Ghost was outright cruel and merciless to were his enemies. He wasn’t the friendliest guy, of course, but everyone noticed when the lieutenant who usually would crack jokes and dumb puns at the expense of others at most suddenly started to get annoyed at smaller mistakes more, using harsher words and overall look like he was down in the dumps. Nobody dared to talk about the subject though, so Ghost was left terrorizing the privates and recruits, having lunches in his office and avoiding areas where he knew you’d be at certain times of the day from your long talks before. Which, of course, didn’t help him to understand what was wrong at all.
So, all Ghost was left with were his own thoughts. He didn’t feel jealous of you interacting with other people before. You were never his, so he had no right for that at all. But there had to be something else that pushed Simon to where he was now, tired, unsatisfied, and craving at least a passing smile and a short “Hey there” from you. So that the two of you could sit down somewhere together, and you’d talk about some irrelevant nonsense, and then you’d open your mouth again and call him “big guy”. It didn’t feel fair that Johnny got to be called that. It was Simon’s nickname. From you. Wait-wait-wait, hold on a second.
The sudden revelation as to why exactly Ghost was feeling that way when he saw you talk with the sergeant hit him like a damn bus. Fuck, that is childish. Weird. God, Simon feels like a damn creep. Getting upset because of a damn nickname, way to fucking go, you oaf. This felt confusing. Irrational. Absolutely fucking stupid. To think that something that simple threw him off so easily. That’s human relationships for you. Now it felt like he needed even more time. Not to make it complicated. Not to hurt you and himself.
Regardless of his wishes, he didn’t have any more time to think when he was soon approached by you, a concerned frown adorning your face, along with a look full of sympathy and understanding. Ghost already dreaded the conversation that hadn’t even begun. And he wasn’t even the one reaching out first. Which makes it even more embarrassing.
“Hey, Simon. I have something I want to talk about with you.” You, bless your heart, probably thought something terrible happened in Simon's life when in reality he was just running away from you and his feelings like a whole wildfire was chasing him. The only correlation he could think of is dumb teenagers, which is…remotely fitting with his recent behavior. “I’ve noticed you’ve been kind of…avoiding me? Did something happen, or am I just overthinking everything?”
“It’s stupid, really. Nothing you should be worrying yourself about.” Ghost blurts out before he can even think. Great, now he can only tell you the whole truth, without the options to back out or lie. But it was truly so unusual for him because Simon never expected to get attached to a nickname and to you.
“Well, let’s hear you out. I won’t judge.” Again, with your perfect reassuring smile and your calming presence. Simon lets out a deep sigh, his throat itching from what is about to ensue. He knew he was going to embarrass himself, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie. Which would’ve been so much easier, instead of baring his true feelings in front of you.
“Well, your nickname for me…You know what I’m talking about.” Simon’s tone is deep and gruff as he tries to conceal that uncertainty in his voice. You appear to be listening attentively, your eyes trained on him, head slightly tilted to the side, which makes his heart melt. You give him a confident nod at the mention of the nickname, and Ghost continues. “I want you to call only me like that. And I mean, only me” He can see your eyebrow rising, your expression more teasing than questioning. There we go, now you’re going to mock him or laugh at him. Just perfect.
“Sure thing, big guy.” A shudder runs down Simon’s spine from your words, a sweet, saccharine feeling immediately blossoming in his chest. Oh, he had no words to describe how hard he missed it. All his worries lifted immediately. You didn’t find it weird. In fact, from what Ghost could tell by your satisfied expression, it was quite the opposite of the reaction Simon initially expected. Which was extremely relieving. He would hate to lose your intriguing relationship to the miscommunication of his own making. “Could’ve just said that you wanted it reserved just for you.”
Oh, it wasn’t just the nickname that did it to him. But it’s a bit too early to tell you that.
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