#no dad for one here

[timetodiverge]

Excuse me sir, that's my Emotional Support vicious lurca hound

....soooo Batcher is fully Crosshair's puppy now, yes???

-spending the morning at the beach with him instead of Omega -sitting next to him at the table -staying near him while everyone was yelling -squaring off against the wyrm ("YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!!"), then going right to Crosshair to check in, then STAYING THERE while Crosshair has his moment with Hunter

[peacheskoo]

No capes/actors AU came to me via a dream and I have since been obsessing over it,,

I have so many ideas over it but my fav is currently that the Jasons are brothers because of the quick switch between seasons/robins and how they couldn’t use the same actor for older Jason so they just asked his older brother to be Red Hood Jason, Little Jason is way younger because they were trying to emphasize how small street kid Jason was

Part 1

[cosmosnout]

Revelations.

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[devilart2199-aibi]

Fishy Business 🐟

[theerurishipper]

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Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Masterpost

[neptunezo]

The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!

Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!

Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???

Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!

—

Steph: Cass and I are adopting…

Bruce: Holy shit, actually???

Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt

Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.

Steph: Too young…?

Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?

Cass: Too young for an iguana?

—

Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.

Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?

Damian: This is my second kid, duh

Bruce: Are you talking goats?

Damian: Of course I am father

—

Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!

Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant

Tim:

Bruce: Is it a dog?

Tim: No it’s a tiger

—

Jason: I have something to tell you

Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?

Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter

Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her

Jason: What the hell are you talking about?

Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????

Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian

Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!

Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

for anyone who doesn't have the Return YouTube Dislike Plugin, here's how Watcher Entertainment's "Goodbye Youtube" video is doing right now

yeah... gonna throw out a yikes on that one

i suspect this number will only keep growing in the coming days/weeks, especially the longer and longer we go without any sort of response.

EDIT: its only been three hours and the number has already jumped to 206K dislikes.

[al8estos]

Dress up a monkey in Armani

He may seem precocious and cute

Despite all that primpin'

You still got a chimp in a suit!

[moonlunee]

shhh, he's having the most fatherly dreams

( I lost the original post where this is based on ㅜㅜ )

DO NOT tag this as a ship

[cobaltfluff]

rei papa...

[bakubunny]

f!reader | thinkin abt this hc, but katsuki is roommates with denki. katsuki is pretty sure he’s heard denki’s girl cum more and harder than any girl he’s ever been with in his life. he’d never want to say it, but he’s questioning his sexual abilities with every passing orgasm, and he audibly witnesses a lot of them. sure, you always cum when he’s intimate with you - at least twice every time, he makes sure of it. but he’s never turned you into a complete mess like denki’s girl is every time they fuck or whatever it is they do.

so one day, katsuki finally bucks up the courage to say something to his best friend and admits he might want to do better with you in bed. denki is a little surprised and embarrassed; he never expected katsuki to be the one asking him for sex advice. he’d just taken the time to figure out what works for him and assumed that if anything, the roles might be reversed.

they talk, denki shares a little bit of what he does and eventually asks katsuki, “dude, when was the last time you slowed down and took your time?”

denki realizes the answer is probably never when katsuki spits back a defensive, “whadda ya mean?”

so he explains in more detail. katsuki takes mental notes.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

the next time katsuki’s got you in his bed, something is different. he’s a little too soft and a little too slow for your preference as he goes in for a kiss, so you pull him deeper. but he’s still got a measured pace, the way his hands are firm and trace your body like he means it. with him, sex is overwhelming and all consuming. it’s hard and fast and raw. but not today.

there’s a hint of impatience in his movements, but he stops himself; he spends extra time caressing your face, in the crook of your neck, mapping out every little spot that makes your breath catch just a hair or your fingers curl a little tighter and committing it better to memory. then his tongue is in your mouth, and he’s groping you over your clothes. a small whimper leaves your lips as you try to shift and get your legs around his waist, but he doesn’t let you.

realization hits when katsuki stops to look you in the eye. your cheeks are flushed hard, and it’s almost difficult to look back with how much heat is radiating between your legs. usually by now he’s got you half naked and grinding, or his hand is deep in your cunt. a twinkle lights his eyes, a boyish grin on his face. you pull him into you, pushing your face into his neck with a shyness you hadn’t felt with him in a long time.

“what?”

you shake your head and kiss his neck, taking in the warmth of his skin and the way he sighs into your touch.

“need somethin?” he teases. his hand runs down your torso to grip your hip. the same hand slides under the fabric of your shirt to caress your side.

“no,” you reply quietly. “you’re usually a bit more… fast paced. that’s all.”

his lips are grazing your neck, his tone low and playful. “yeah. i’m tryin somethin new. got a problem with it?”

he’s kissing you neck again before you can respond, sucking and licking faint marks into a tender spot on your skin.

your breath catches. “n-no, not at all.”

“good.” katsuki puts his muscular thigh between your own and presses it to the damp heat of your cotton shorts.

a small whimper escapes your throat.

“now be a good girl n' grind on me, princess.”

if you’d like to be added to my tag list, let me know. ♡

gremlins: @arlerts-angel @dcsiremc @darkstarlight82 @bookcluberror @neon-gothicc @zazter-den @breadandbutter33 @i-literally-cant-with-this @rinalouu @stvrfir3 @r4td0lll @emmab3mma @aria-chikage @mhadabiandhawks4eva @yazminetrahan @doumadono @dreamcastgirl99 @maddietries @jazzafayesworld @karebear5118 @unofficialmuilover @cherriluvs35 @erensslut @ruu-https @hana-yuri @keiva1000 @katsul0vr @trickster-kat @ayeohoh-blog @dinomeow @flamgosstuff @mistressreaper @angelltheninth @anonymously-ominous @amberexe2 @hisconsistency @nanamisbigassschlong @223princess @honeeslust @pastelbakugou @gold24fish @naughtygobbo @acenanxious @blumoonwisteria @chaos-gem @levizonlywife @kxtsxkii @nuttyunknowndetective @gold24fish

[cosmosnout]

The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)

[plushieanimals]

dad and I went to ikea yesterday and i pointed out the BLÅHAJ shark plushies and told him they were a plush cultural icon. and no joke he said it was like the meme he saved to his phone and sent me this “for my blog”

[unpretty]

Starting to feel like the most unbearably insufferable thing about John Constantine is he's a good detective. He's a wizard who smokes in other people's houses, he's the most annoying man you've ever been attracted to, and he's unfortunately genuinely competent

he's got a lot of columbo trickster energy

but columbo has enough befuddled grandpa energy to temper it and gaslight you into thinking he's maybe being annoying by accident

constantine is being annoying on purpose and everyone knows it

[thirtysmoke]