#nta that's just a sibling thing

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?

Some background about my cat first.

I (25F) have a pet cat named Max (not real name. It would be too identifiable if I used his real name). Max is a rescue. He had been abandoned by his previous owner because he would meow too loudly. This had happened several times, so he has been in and out of the shelter a lot. None of the previous owners had tried to figure out why he always meows so loudly, so I took him to a vet. It turns out that Max is deaf, so I don't blame him for meowing so loudly. He can't hear himself! He is scared of strangers and tends to hide, so I don't try to force him to come out if he doesn't want to. I also don't usually take pictures of him because the cameras and phones scare him. I just do what I can to respect his boundaries. Max isn't just a cat to me. He is my treasured family who brings a smile to my face everyday. I can't imagine life without him.

My friend, Amelia (22F) is trans. Her folks are transphobic and were not accepting of her when they found out. However, they had not kicked her out of her home right away. They had given her a week to pack her things and find a place to stay. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with that but another friend, Nina (24F) thinks that they did that as a manipulation tactic to get Amelia to retransition and Amelia thinks so too.

But the week had passed and Amelia couldn't find a place to stay. Nina had said she would have offered, but she lives in a small apartment that hardly had enough room for two people. So Amelia had asked out friend Ted (26M) who had also said he couldn't because he was housing his younger siblings since their parents had passed and he was struggling financially.

So that left me. But Amelia said she wouldn't be able to stay unless I got rid of Max. Why? Amelia is highly allergic to cats. Whenever she had come over to my place in the past, she had to take allergy medicine to keep from having severe allergies around Max. The allergies are bad enough that they could trigger an asthmatic attack. I told her that I refuse to get rid of Max because of his past with being abandoned. I do not want to become one of the people he distrusts, not after it took so long to get him to feel comfortable around me.

Amelia is upset with me for this and says that she doesn't want to have to always take allergy medicine. She said that I should get rid of Max because he is just a cat and his needs are not as important as hers when she could become homeless soon. I argued that he wasn't just a cat and was part of my family. Max would be staying no matter what. Amelia ended up renting a motel room, but she couldn't afford to stay for more than 4 nights. Nina ended up taking her in, but that has made her own living situation harder.

Amelia and Nina are calling me an asshole for choosing Max over giving Amelia shelter. They are saying that I am being a horrible ally and friend by valuing an animal over a human life. I don't think I made the wrong choice by choosing Max, but it doesn't feel great that they are starting to tell some other friends that I am being transphobic for not choosing Amelia. A part of me is saying that I should have chosen Amelia, but that same part is also saying I would fee guilty for being one of the people to also abandon Max if I chose to do that. Amelia and Nina barely talk to me aside from saying that I am being a transphobic asshole for "choosing an animal over a trans person's livelihood." I am thinking about just cutting them off now, but I'm afraid that would just lead to more backlash.

AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?

What are these acronyms?

[incorrectbatfam]

The 'Batfam on Reddit' post was fun and I won't mind another one! (I have nothing specific in mind besides more sibling shenanigans)

Going down the list, here's Jason

———————

Posted to r/AmITheAsshole by user local-zombie

AITA for changing my grandpa's cookie recipe? 

Earlier this week, one of my (22M) sisters decided to fill my rifle with purple glitter. As revenge, I swapped the salt and sugar before she made her waffles this morning. Prank worked, yada yada, that's not why I'm here though. 

See, like a dumbass, I forgot to switch them back. I've been running on 4 hours of sleep and I'm not even home half the time, sue me. It didn't really hit me until I was watching my grandpa make his signature chocolate chip cookies. 

This was some cinematic shit, I tell you. Everything happened in slow motion. Before I could say anything, he dumped an entire cup of salt into the batter followed by a teaspoon of sugar and started the stand mixer. It seemed then that all was lost. 

Out of nowhere, my dad—and I can't believe I'm saying this—descended like an angel from the heavens and asked my grandpa to help him with his hair. And lucky for me, I'm the only other person trusted to be in the kitchen. My grandpa told me to put the cookies in the oven before he went upstairs. 

This is where I might be the asshole. 

I needed to fix the dough immediately, so I added extra sugar and chopped up some caramel candy to (hopefully) turn it into some halfway-decent salted caramel chocolate chip cookies. Then I scooped them out, threw them in the oven, and prayed harder than the goddamn Pope himself. 

Apparently God had a high call volume though, because as soon as the plate hit the table, my ENTIRE family knew something was up, like a bunch of fucking detectives or some shit. And they immediately blamed me. They're not wrong, but the fact that that's their first reaction is totally unjustified. 

Anyway, now my family's pissed off and my dad thinks I should've just told gramps, but I think trying to fix the situation should count for something. So, Reddit, AITA? 

Comments

bluebirdz: Did they taste good? |— local-zombie: Not like the original, but a solid 7/10 |—— bluebirdz: All's well that ends well. NTA

redrobin: yta |— local-zombie: At least provide some reasoning |—— redrobin: no

starfire: NTA but next time give them a heads up |— your-tired-librarian: Also voting NTA but OP should've fessed up from the beginning.  |—— thatpurplething: I'm saying YTA for the waffle part |——— orphanized: not relevant |———— thatpurplething: It is to me

i-am-the-darkness-i-am-the-light: NTA for the way you handled it, that was pretty smart. YTA for tampering with food as a prank tho :/

notmysecretanimeaccount: You are indeed the donkey cavity for the poor setup and execution. |— local-zombie: Dude just say ass |—— notmysecretanimeaccount: Ass cavity. Happy? |——— local-zombie: Not what I was thinking but I'll take it |———— lesbian-premium: Congratulations on the worse conversation the internet's ever had

kyle-rayner: YTA. Just in general

assenal: nta. your family is overreacting

dickwings: soft yta. how would you feel if you were expecting one thing but got blindsided by something completely different? |— local-zombie: I'd just deal with it instead of whining like a pissbaby pretty boy |—— dickwings: nvm make that a hard yta |——— local-zombie:🖕

kitty-central: ESH. You for what you did, your family for how they reacted |— pennyworthy: At last, a sensible answer. 

official-batman: YTA. And grounded. 

[markantonys]

AITA for joining a "cult" that thinks my sister and mom are Darkfriends?

First, some backstory. I (30m) have always been an outsider in my family. It wasn't anything to do with my parents - dad (dead) always spent all his time with me instead of my younger siblings, and (step)mom (43f) always gave me extra attention compared to her bio kids because she didn't want me to feel neglected - or with my brother (21m), who's always looked up to me. It was all because of my sister (19f). She's hated and bullied me ever since she was a toddler, and I have no idea why. I guess maybe she doesn't think I'm her real brother, or blames me for telling on her whenever she did irresponsible things like climb trees and talk to strangers. All I've ever done is try to keep her safe, but she's never appreciated it.

Anyway, there's this organization (my sister claims it's a cult, though I don't think that's fair) that's dedicated to serving the Light. My mom always hated them and kept them banned from our country because she thinks they have an agenda against women who can channel, and she's one herself, as is my sister. I used to believe her, but after reading one book written by the organization's founder, I realized that my mom has a totally biased view of them and they're actually doing really important work founded on admirable principles. So when my sister went missing at the hands of women who can channel, I decided I'd had enough of those women lying to everyone all the time and I joined this organization.

I did have my view of them shaken when I found out my mom had been kidnapped, abused, and murdered by one of their leaders (turns out she's actually still alive though, don't worry about that), but I challenged that leader to an honorable duel and killed him to avenge my mom, and my friends and I rooted out a handful of other corrupt members of the organization, so now with that small minority gone, the rest of us can continue doing the Light's work and spreading awareness of the evils of the One Power.

To be clear, I OBVIOUSLY don't think my sister and mom are Darkfriends; it's only everyone else who uses the One Power who is. I've explained this to my sister multiple times but it only makes her angrier instead of grateful that I'm making an exception for her and choosing to believe the best of her. It feels like I can never do anything right in her eyes, but maybe I've somehow got the wrong understanding of the situation. So, AITA?

******

u/dainbornhald: NTA. Your sister's problem isn't actually that you joined this organization (which totally does sound 100% Light-serving). She doesn't think you're her real brother and is just looking for any excuse to continue the bullying, manipulation, and gaslighting she's been using on you since she was a toddler. [+5k votes] u/childbyar: Came here to say this. Sister sounds like a textbook abuser, and, honestly, almost definitely a Darkfriend. I'd go no contact with her, OP, and maybe get a restraining order if you have to - she's obviously unhinged. [+1.2k votes]

u/amyrlinseat: You joined a cult that thinks your sister is a Darkfriend based on an innate characteristic about her that she didn't choose and can't change (unlike you, who DID choose to join this cult), and you're whining that she's mad at you for it??? YTA [-749 votes]

u/luckyfox: YTA for the cult thing, but this whole family's got serious mommy AND daddy issues (take it from an expert). Sister resents you for getting all your parents' attention growing up, and you have a victim complex about being a stepchild/half-brother. I can only wonder what might be going on with the middle brother who wasn't mentioned much here. You guys need to go to therapy. [+2 votes] u/galaddamodred [OP]: My brother always seemed very well-adjusted, but a few hours after I made this post he actually died going on a suicide charge in battle because he thought he was unimportant enough to risk and no one would care much if he died in the attempt. Which sucks because now the only sibling I've got left is my sister who hates me. [+273 votes] u/luckyfox: oh my god [+312 votes]

[stitchwraith-stingers]

godd i hate fazbear frights so much they ruined the lore ://// whats next, fazbear frights tumblr dash simulator??? fuck this

0 notes

🌙 motts-talking

i swear to god my brothers little pets are so freaky they ate my fish and made him into them, like spontanious mitosis or something and now im trying to get rid of them and i swear im so afraid of accidently drinking them

🌙 motts-talking

WHAT THE HELL..... HOW DO YOU HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT, GO AWAYYYYYYY

21 notes

🔎 detective-larson

just got called into work today and they want me to look into this case and they think its associated with the stitchwraith... why do i work here 🔎 detective-larson

its been 3 months since i last posted and i may or may not have not known what i was getting into

14 notes

anonymous asked:

can you stop posting about your werid doll thing i get it ur like rich and shit now but its so hidieous and ugly it almost makes me want to unfollow and vomit

🍀 luckiest-boy-blog

i LIKE my ADVICE DOLL its just this little thing i like and you REJECT IT. YOU HATE IT BECAUSE I LIKE IT

154 notes

🎀 dovewing-kinnie

sorry ive been so inactive on this account, lets just say my mental health has been doing better! :) got some help from a family friend, ill be back to posting soon

🎀 dovewing-kinnie

the junkyard

15,816 notes

anonymous asked: aita for accidently indirectly killing my friend?

sorry for any spelling mistakes, im still shaken up by the whole thing

so i (14F) and my friend, who ill call P (14F) have recently both gone on a school trip to some werid factory (wont bother specifying which as to not doxx me), now i was known for being kinda, i guess "rude"? and while we seperated from the group and P was already slightly nervious about that, we went onto the catwalks and despite her pleading i decide to walk to a sign that said "NOT SAFE" or something along those lines

surprise surprise i fell, near me was a vat of boiling hot sauce or whatever and me, having somehow survived the fall, i decided to play a little prank, i would stay hiding in there for afew days, i think i managed to stay in there for 3 days? before i got kicked out

now first i visited my boyfriends house to tell him that im alive and whatever, and then i went to P's house, knowing it was like 2 am or something, i rang like three times i think and then i heard something fall

as it turned out, P had fallen off the roof of her house (i have no idea what she was doing in the first place) AND HAD SNAPPED HER NECK, i obviously screamed, who wouldnt, now i went from being the most popular girl in school to an outcast because of this

❓ aita-official

What are these acronyms?

🥀 the-ravens-death

925 notes

🐩 useless-dog-lesbian

utah is so werid, what do you mean people have an urban legend about a werid tall thing that has a trashbag with them at all times and can kill people with just a single touch

🥨 pretzel-liker-173

THEIR NAME IS THE STITCHWRAITH ‼‼

💡 yuri-ka

the stitchwraith is 100% funnier if you imagine theyre two kids in a trenchcoat with a halloween mask just trying to clean the planet, like ive seen it but it avoids people like the plauge

🐩 useless-dog-lesbian

what the fuck do you mean youve seen it

10,027 notes

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

are you really living life if you havent gotten an expirience where your older sibling just dissapears or dies

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

like when i was younger my brother had these reaccouring near freak-accidents of him almost loosing an eye or an arm and i was trying to tell him that maybe he had annoyed this one animatronic he tried to freak me out with and he yelled at me and then told me to come find him after school and then it turned out he got hit by a car, i wish i could explain to people normally about this without ti sounding werid

🎫 silliestlittleguy

how normal is this expirience? not my brother but my cousin just dissapeared suddenly, i had saved up so many tickets just to get him a gift from the nearby arcade! :(

🍬 horse-sona

god this is so true, i had a step-sister who dispised me because i was getting all the attention and just out of spite ate my candy that was specifically given to me by the place we were visiting, the next day we found out she had snuck out and the car was taken elsewhere with no sign of her, we figured she ran away or something but its been so long we decided shes dead at this point

🐟 fish-enjoyer

my older brother tried to flush my pet sea bonnies down the toilet because he apparently saw them eating his fish or something, never saw him again after that and the only witness just said he looked blue, i still have no idea what that means

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

i did not expect this to be more common then i thought what the fuck

1,729 notes

🍂 phineas-taggart-official

hello tumblr! sorry for not posting, ive been working on getting some stuff for an experiment and they finally arrived, will keep you updated

🌱 gregsexperiments

phineas taggart had died afew hours after posting this, detectives believe this is the stitchwraiths doing

🦋 restingatdawn

frankenstein behavior

28,275 notes

🐇 bnuuygirl

just saw a girl in the school cafetirea disintigrate into trash, cant have shit in utah

7 notes

🥀 the-ravens-death

i just witnessed my crush talk to some basic girl all lovey dovey in the school and i just ran back home while all i want for christmas is you was playing.. im so tired i fucking hate everyone i hate my life i want to die im so tired

🦇 vampire-girl-shelly

guess all he wanted for christmas is her huh

384 notes

🦉 justanothermiddleagedguy

my collgues are such assholes man first i hear them just kissing in the game testing room out loud for some reason and then when its my birthday and they do some werid freaky birthday surprise they misspell my name, its not hard to spell jeremiah correctly i promise you

1 note

🥈 scrap-metal-enthusiast

might fuck around and kill someone else idk

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for essentially overthrowing my god?

I (adult NB) have recently come into contact with the god of death (adult M) after my... death. He offered me the option to start a cu- I mean r-religion! I-In his name, in return for my life again. I accepted because I obviously didn't wanna be dead, and when I came back to life, I began working. I set up the religious grounds, performed holy crusades in his name with the powers he gave me, spreading the word of his faith, etc.

However, after I had done everything he had asked me for (the religion grew popular, his sibl- *ahem* the people who wronged him were... let's say 'dealt with', etc.), I visited him again, and he ordered me to lay my life at his feet for him? Now, I first chose to follow him because I wanted to live, so I obviously refused my obvious suicide, but it just made him pissed off, which led to him and his two guards attacking me. Luckily, I survived the battle through the use of the powers he gave me and managed to defeat him.

Now I'm currently transforming the religion into my own image, as obviously I'm not gonna have people worshipping a traitor, but I also have a problem: and it's that I somehow made him into a semi-mortal, and he kinda... lives on the religious grounds with us? It's all very awkward because of the whole "overthrowing" thing, so I just wanna know if what I did was asshole-y or if I'm justified because he's constantly annoying me and the followers.

[am-i-the-asshole-rotomblr]

Am I the Asshole for getting upset when someone who was like a sibling to me forgot I was kidnapped for the duration of the month I was kidnapped until they saw me walking down the street?

I (16x) am a hybrid created by Aether paradise who escaped. The sibling-like person we’ll call s(16m). We were both 15 at the time. I had escaped from Aether paradise a few months before this and they were trying to get me back as I am valuable research subject, being the only one that didn’t reject the light of the alolan legendaries. Now, when I was kidnapped I had been staying with S at his house. it was pretty clear I was missing as a humanoid who is usually ~6’6” is pretty noticeable, and s did seem to worry at first. However as time went on and my kidnapper was trying to break my spirit, he stopped wondering where I was for if I was ok. By the end of the first week you couldn’t even tell if he thought about me. I was an emotional mess when I first broke free as it was my first time experiencing care from a human being so I became somewhat dependent on him. Anyway I was tortured and stuff while kidnapped and ended up killing the kidnapper as she didn’t account for how strong my extra arms are. After I killed her I hid the body and left with my pokemon. We wandered around for a bit and ended up at a beach near S’s house. We felt like going for a swim when S ran up to me. I yelled at him and kinda cut off the relationship for a while as he just kinda looked at me sadly. He said he was busy with other things but I was fucking kidnapped??? And you didn’t seem to be putting in any effort to even ask people if they had seen me??? Anyway Am I the Asshole?

//Sent by @naos-necrozma

[aita-systemized]

This happened a while ago, and was resolved by me not talking to this person any more, but it still bothers me if I was in the wrong so I’m sending it in.

I used to be friends with another system, some of my parts were dating some of theirs. One of their younger parts (calling him A) got attached to me, in a sort of sibling way. We are from the same source, which might have been part of why he got attached to me. Anyway, I’m an ex-persecutor and my self-image from that time is still kind of around, in that I worry I might hurt people without meaning it, so I might have been a little distant from him when he got this attached. I was slightly distant from everyone though.

A seemed to be a bit upset if I didn’t front for a while, complaining that I was ignoring him, and I sometimes started not telling him if I was fronting because he would want to talk regardless of what I was doing. I probably should have tried to communicate better if I was busy, though, so that part’s on me. All of this came to a head when I ended up fusing with another alter. A got really upset about this. Fusion is a difficult thing to process, and he is just a kid, but it got to the point of him saying that “[Name] is basically dead, I’m not talking to you” to the alter I was fused with. This happened so much that me and the other alter eventually broke apart from the stress.

Am I in the wrong for being upset about how he reacted to this situation? On the one hand, I think it’s very anti-recovery, and he shouldn’t have been processing his feelings over it by basically getting mad at the other alter for fusing. But he’s still a young alter and might not know how to react appropriately (He’s in his early teens, though, so not exactly a little kid).

[oc-aita]

AITA for killing my mother?

Ok so I know how it sounds but my sister and my girlfriend are both saying I'm not TA for this despite the fact I murdered my mother so I need an outside opinion.

I (31F) have four other siblings. My older sister, SF (34), my younger brother, EM (30), my youngest brother, SM (29), and my youngest sister, EF (9). Our mother has never been.. conventional, but she loves loved us!

She's part of this group (CI) that worships our machine god and believes that humans can use these things called anomalies to become gods ourselves if we follow its directions. Me and EM are? were? part of CI and have been since we each turned 18 when Mom took us to meet our god and kept us there until we'd realised how great it was.

SF was meant to be the first of us to join but for some reason she rebelled and had to be locked in the basement for a while. We didn't actually know (it's soundproofed) and didn't learn until after we'd joined the CI and she tried to use it as proof to get us to leave mom. Something about how she 'almost starved to death' and 'was in there for weeks.' (It was only actually a few days, the basement just messes with your time perception. I've been put in there enough to know.)

Now she's part of another group that's in opposition to ours (SH) and stopped SM being taken to meet our god on his 18th by getting him noticed by the largest of these organizations (F) that could 'protect' him from us. He knows about anomalies now but not that we're part of one of his company's main rivals so to speak.

I also have a girlfriend, C (31F), who didn't know about the anomalous until very recently when this whole thing took place and thought I was just a boxer. It didn't explain all my scars (some from missions and some from Mother when she needed to punish me for failing) but she eventually stopped pushing about them.

Now I've been fully on board with the 'use anomalies to become gods' plan ever since I was introduced to it, but recently due to an incident I became an anomaly myself. I accepted immediately that I'd no longer be able to ascend but would have to help my family instead, but mother didn't believe me and asked me to prove my loyalty by bringing C into the CI.

It was all going well at first, she thought it was just some fancy remote date (even if she had to drive since mom never allowed me to learn) but when we actually got there and met our god she got scared and wanted to leave.

I tried to convince her to stay but then our god started trying to force control over her mind and I don't remember that happening to me at all?? So I have no idea why it would do it for her?? But it seemed really painful so I obviously started trying to get her away.

As we were trying to leave mother stopped me and started talking about the pain I'd go through for betraying them, which I understood, but when she started threatening C I kinda lost my cool and shot her.

Eventually agents from F came to get her (her brother works there with SM and has enough pull to send a team) and I managed to call SF to come get me.

It's been a few days and I'm still hung up about the whole thing, I can never go back to the CI despite that being my whole adult life, and I don't even have my mother to guide me anymore.

C has been very vocally supportive of the murder ever since SF gave her a brief (incredibly biased) overview of what's been going on, but I can't help but feel guilty about literally murdering the only parent I have left.

TLDR; I murdered my mother because she threatened my girlfriend and my sister says it's justified because she was a 'raving cultist' and an 'abusive old hag'

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw verbal abuse

not to sound like a redditer but i need some help figuring out if i'm an asshole? or if i'd be an asshole, if i acted on my feelings, i suppose. (you can call me raine)

my dad was verbally abusive to me and several of my siblings on/off for awhile. over a year. and it was something he'd been building toward for awhile. he'd been doing some of the verbally abusive shit to me on/off for a couple years, but it was small enough incidents i didn't really put it together as anything more than him just...being him bc both my parents would brush it off as it just being part of who he was and it being "a joke" or me "provoking" him. but then it got bad. like really bad. it was constant and very very focused in on me. he did it to other siblings as well but mostly me and it was every time he saw me, he would have something to say and it didn't matter who was in the room-my mom would be in the room and say jackshit. the most consequences he ever got for it was my mom lightly saying "be nice" or me telling him to mind his business and leave me alone before i stormed off.

but then it stopped. mostly. that's mostly bc i started cutting him off but the thing is, awhile later, after he stopped, he just started pretending nothing happened. like we were friends again. and that fucked me up a lot-like we used to be really close, he was like my hero growing up, and i was just so fucking confused i let him pretend. he got that spot back in my life. but now that im starting to actually process what he did to me...i don't want him around me. i want him to fuck off. i don't want him pretending he did nothing to me! im still so pissed and so hurt over what he did and the fact he just wants to pretend he never fucking did it and not apologize after all he did. and he could do it again, just as easy, and no one would do anything! my mom would STILL do jackshit and im pissed at her too!

i just. i feel like bc they're both pretending nothing happened i should too. and that it would be mean of me to draw back and put space between us when technically, its been awhile since he was actually mean to me. like, shouldn't i just forgive and forget at this point instead of rehashing old bullshit? i dunno. so. yeah. help? i'd really appreciate ANY thoughts on this, cause, seriously, i'm lost. i just feel like im such an ass being upset when my mom and dad have moved on but. i dunno. he was my hero and he fucking tore me to shreds. and now he's living the same life he was before and i still feel like i'm broken. how am i just supposed to ignore that?

Hi Raine,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It's important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to have complex emotions about the situation.

Please know that your feelings are valid, and it is okay if you don't want to be around him anymore. It's okay to create some distance and establish boundaries. This doesn't mean you have to completely cut him out of your life, but setting limits and protecting yourself from further harm is important. Just because he's seemingly moved on from his behavior doesn't mean you have to. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged. You are NTA and you don't have to forgive him.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, process the trauma, and help you navigate your relationships. They can also assist you in developing healthy coping strategies and guide you through the healing process.

Please know that healing is a process done at your own pace. Just because others may appear to have moved on doesn't mean you have to follow the same timeline. It's crucial to listen to your own needs, even if it means creating some distance from your dad and seeking support.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[honeykami]

family headcanons - first year boys

the freedom i get to have is wonderful

these are mainly for the people who families we don’t know about

kirishima

he has 2 moms and a plethora of sisters like so many that it isn’t even funny

so he drinks his respect women juice everyday at every hour on the dot

he’s the oldest!!

though living with that many women and being the oldest has caused him to go soft on almost all girls

he knows that they can take care of themselves but he doesn’t give them his all which bakugou calls him out for

he can’t help it!! but he definitely gives his all when he’s fighting mina (he knows she can handle it)

he probably ends up with a bunch of kids and they would deadass be almost all boys and one girl who is the youngest and essentially the angel because she isn’t bad or rowdy

definitely his princess “dad! you said you didn’t have favorites!” “i dont! out of you boys...”

scold him for that! no favorites!! (though you have a favorite too out your boys and let’s just say dad takes second place)

sero

mom + dad and too many siblings to count (12? most are twins though)

he’s a middle child like perfectly in the middle; 6 older and 6 younger - 4 older sisters (2 twins), 2 older brothers (twins), 3 younger sisters (1 twins), 3 younger brothers (triplets)

so poor thing needs lots of love

his older brothers prank him all the damn time and has no problem doing it when his friends are over

his older sisters always wanna test out their makeups on him or give a whole wardrobe redo

his twin set of younger sisters demanded tea parties every thursday but when he went to the dorms he felt out so he would face time them and have it while he did hw (he even bought himself a tiara and boa)

his younger brothers are who has the same quirk as him so whenever he comes home to visit he always shows them some of the new stuff he learned

when he has kids he’s only wanted one of two despite his large family

he might think he wants a quiet home but he found out he likes it loud so he has like 5 kids and all girls and they will beat you up even if dad says no

kaminari

2 goofy ass dads and when i say goofy i really mean it and an older brother

they both are his dads but his older brother used to have a mom (does that make sense?)

this boy was raised hearing bad pickup lines

now to be honest his behavior towards women didn’t start till like puberty and it wasn’t bad

like the stuff he does is pretty tame compared to m**nta 🤢 cause denki knows boundaries and when to stop

he absolutely looked up to his older brother for everything and still does

so whenever his brother calls or face times he immediately picks it up even if he was talking to someone else he does not care no one comes before his brother

he deadass would probably want an army of kids (that’s a joke dw) but he’d probably have like 3 and i want them to be triplets

those 3 on their own are crazy lil boys

so add their father into the mix and you are set for disaster (your house has plenty of burn marks from denki + the boys using their quirks)

he definitely has his kids annoy bakugou at any given chance

tetsutetsu

2 dads one strict one soft one

adopted and youngest out of 5

i mentioned already that he became a hero because his oldest sister was but then got injured too badly to continue

but with his brothers aka the other 3 he roughhouse with and they tend to break plenty of thing when they do

strict dad has major anxiety cause of this and is on the brink of choking one of them

soft dad does give a glare though and tells them to roughhouse outside

they used to play pranks on each other (mainly on tetsu) but now he’s at the dorms so they just send their pranks to him

i mentioned that he goes over one night a week to eat dinner with his family!!

now he’s like kirishima and has a bunch of kids and their first kids were born on the same day 😒 “bro!” “bro!” “no way!” “yes way!”

but he has the opposite though all girls and one boy

he is a jungle gym for them and lets them do whatever as long as they don’t get hurt

so we see who the disciplinary in the house is

shinso

single mom who works as a nurse

he absolutely loves his mom and has no problem with being the only child and left at home a lot

he actually liked it a bit but he loved it more when she was home because she would find him videos and articles about eraserhead and he’d just be obsessed with all of them

“sweetie there hasn’t been any new stuff, you know that” “i don’t care! i wanna see the video again!”

when he started to train with aizawa he went home and immediately told his mom who was laughing at the way shinso was expressing his excitement which isn’t often

if he has kids it’s definitely be one girl and she is constantly stuck to him and also dressed in cat onsies “babe can we put her in something else” “no”

[faegal04]

"Star City 2040" Arrow 7x16 My Thoughts

Okay. This is probably going to get long and may venture into crazy town, so for that apologies. Also, I'm seeing alot of season 3 callbacks in this episode! Like a ton! But I had so many thoughts about the episode, and alot more questions but let's try to middle through, shall we? Right!

First of all, I absolutely LOVED the episode! I know there are people who didn't and I get it. Did the episode have everything I wanted? Hell no! I could have used more Olicity moments and definitely more Oliver, but it delivered on everything else. More importantly it gave me further proof that our illustrious vigilante is alive and well!

The Birth

cue pterodactyl noises

Oliver's "I love you so much" and Felicity's reply back made me melt.

Felicity's additional "I'll love you even more when this baby's out of me" - was just the right touch cause, been there done that twice! Also it was wonderful to see Stephen almost break character in that moment.

Can we believe our sweet hero went from this moment, thinking he would never get a future like this

To

^^^^^ That is Oliver's "I just saw Jesus" face wrapped up with "I just got everything in the world that I didn't think I deserved" smile. Excuse me 😭😭😭

Training

Yassss! A legacy training a future legacy!!

Seeing Auntie Nyssa training young Mia was absolutely perfect! Do I wish it was Oliver? Hell yeah! But having the Heir to the Demon/Demon's Head train Al-Sahhim's daughter! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Funny how the ex sister wife was trusted with Mia's existence, but NTA was not!

I guess once a

Always a sister wife!

Side note: You can totally tell that Katrina was preggers/just had her baby when Mia shoots the bow for the first time. Also, I believe it was Katrina's baby who played newborn Mia!

Oliver

We didn't get much of him this episode but to me we got more clarification about him. One, Felicity still wears her wedding ring!( my own dad passed away 13 years ago and my mom has stopped wearing her ring). Two, not one person spoke about him last tense or with the respect a fallen hero would garner. "Who your father is?"

He's alive bitches!!! I will fight anyone who says different! Also, when they show the cage fight, I honestly see Oliver as the long haired fighter. His body type, his fighting style, the marks/scars on his back

ISTG

BlackStar Tattoo

"My mom used to say that all the starlight we see has so far to travel. Stars might not even exist anymore. Eventually they just all fade to black. Erased. That's where I want to be." Oh, Mia. My poor, poor heart wept at this declaration. Yes, she's running on thinking her whole life has been a lie to this point, she feels betrayed by her mother and her father is absent, that's enough to bring anybody down, but to wish to be erased from existence....😭😭 For now my sweet, broody child hold onto that anger and darkness and you will find a way into the light, just like your dad did.

The Wizard of Oz

The references throughout this episode - the cowardly lion and scarecrow(season 3 nod anyone), to William's City of Emerald angel investor along with Felicity in last week and her hilarious wicked witch babble leads me to think that this whole season is based on smoke and mirrors. Here's a fabulous meta on the wizard of oz by @msbeccieboo that I totally support. Read it here

Back to the episode or this is going to get hella long(er).

The season 2 callback to CEO/EA had me giggling cause Mia ain't having it just like her momma didn't! Enter Agent?! Agent Hawke and his Nightwatch badge to save the day! When tiny Mia pinned him to a wall and then asked "Was any of it real?" And his "All of it", not gonna lie this was me

All aboard SmoaknHawke are leaving the dock!

Next is William and his "flirty flirt" with Dale - that boy is definitely Oliver's son!

I also need more William and Mia - that sibling relationship is fabulous! Their quips and tiny bickering is everything a sibling bond should have!

The out of the elevator fight scene had me squealing like a fan girl. Hello feminine Oliver!

William and Felicity reunion

😭😭😭😭, that is all

Reunited with the old team

I want to know what happened. That is not a happy look Felicity gives DD. Rene I can see the not so happy because hey he's a douche with a bad wig. (Season 1 Oliver called and he wants his hair back)

Yoda Connor

Cue pterodactyl noises again. He was totally channeling his dad in that moment of talking to Mia. Hit me square in the feels!

The Celebration

Felicity in that green mask - cue me sobbing again for like the millionth time this episode!

Rene said one thing I agreed with and liked -"Show them what a hero is"

The fight scene! ASJDKFLKSJSHEJEIDKLS Mia won me heart and soul in this moment, she cleared that room like her father and I stan a new motherf*ckin' Queen!

The last thing I want to touch on from the episode is this. The play of dark and light, like so much in the Arrow world, means that Mia needs to find her light. At first I thought it might be Connor but now I'm wondering if it is William as well.

I'm going to make another post with my theory as to what is going on with Oliver later, but for now, that's what I thought.

Huge thank you to all the gifmakers! None of them are mine!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my room uninhabitable for my father?

I know this sounds awful, but do hear me out.

I (16 NB), naturally, still live with my parents. I share a Steam account with my father, which he is on all the time, making my own account pretty much inaccessible to me at this point? We keep discussing making him his own account, but he still refuses to. I asked him politely to exit out of his game when he was finished so I could access mine from my laptop in my room upstairs.

I would like to make very clear that I have quite a large room that doubles as an extra living space that my siblings and friends have access to. I have made one boundary request with my parents, and that is that they don't come into my room without alerting me first. Part of it is because my father has stage 4 COPD, and can't inhale strong scents without it inhibiting his ability to breathe (I, quite frequently, have scented candles lit, or spray aerosol lavender spray), so it's an additional measure for his safety, but it's also because I'm a teenager and would like to have a semblance of privacy.

Now here's where the good stuff kicks in. My father can't get into steam because he logged himself out. His confirmation email goes to my phone, and naturally, he comes to get me so he can have his code.

He wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning to do so.

So not only has he woken me up at 5:30 while I'm on vacation from school pissed that he logged himself out of steam and needing the login code, but he's also broken my biggest boundary. Now, I was in the middle of a depressive episode, and admittedly, I had gotten my room get quite messy, which is something he hates, but not only is he yelling at me about Steam, he's also yelling at me about my room, which I had told him and my mother I would clean that day, effectively giving me a panic attack.

This isn't the first time he's done this either, as he has a tendency to go into my room while I'm at school and rat me out for tiny things. He's even gone so far as to ground me and prevent me from going to a DND session that I DM, forcing me to have to cancel, for something as small as not having put my laundry away, and it just gets annoying after a while.

I have, in fact, cleaned my room, and am in the middle of making him his own steam account, but he and my mother have broken my singular boundary far too many times, and I'm tired of it. I have started having a candle lit at all times, and when I'm not home, I drench my room in aerosol air freshener at all times, knowing my father can't come up because of the strong scent. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[currylangs]

The Malayalam script! Part 3

Chillaksharam (ചില്ലക്ഷരം), Chandrakala (ചന്ദ്രക്കല) and Ligatures (കൂട്ടക്ഷരം) 

There is more?! I know. Malayalam is probably one of the few languages were we can create so many different types of sounds (probably why we pick up other languages so fast :p)

Take your time and learn Part 1 and Part 2 , as this next part can be intimidating but rest assured once you have that down this will come easily, it’s like math: there is a method to all this madness. 

As you might have noticed already there aren’t enough sounds in english to explain these sounds so bear with us in trying to get as close to the proper pronunciations. One thing to keep in mind is you don’t have to memorize these next sections immediately, just be aware of them, as time goes by and you begin to read more you will pick up on them faster.

ചില്ലക്ഷരം Chilaksharam

These are set of pure consonants, meaning there is nothing inherently vowel about them unlike other consonants we learned in last part. 

ൺ, this is very similar to ണ, it sounds similar to ending sounds of “own” or “noun”

ൻ   “IN”

ർ “IR”

ൽ “ILL”

ൾ  remember how you pronounced ള? So this is  “e-ll” but your tongue is curved backwards at “ll”part

Examples to try out! I’ll help out with the first

മുകളില്‍ mukalil (Up)

കൈകള്‍ (hands)

ഞാൻ (I)

അവർ (them/they)

Chandrakala (ചന്ദ്രക്കല) - (strict meaning moon beam, but lets call it moon sign)

This is a diacritic attached to a consonant letter to show that the consonant is not followed by an inherent vowel or any other vowel for example, ക ka → ക് k This is prevalent in most Indian languages.

Colloquially, we say “kuh” instead of ending the word with a “k”, and this goes for other consonants that have a chandrakala too. (Note that this is not done when we’re forming ligatures using the chandrakala). So when we romanize we will use “ku” instead of “k” when there is a chandrakala .

So... there is something in between chandrakala and not quite ligatures, some special consonants. But think of all the sounds you can make!

യ ര ല വ the super special ones, so special they are kinda like vowels with their own symbols so when you combine them with their consonant siblings they completely change forms.

Examples with ക

ക് + യ = ക്യ kya this is very similar to ഋ’s sign which is പൃ, so in writing you close the little circle curve on  ഋ’s symbol and keep യ’s open like a hook

ക് + ര = ക്ര kra  like crepe (the symbol give the ra sound to any consonants)

ക് + ല = ക്ല kla like class

ക് + വ = ക്വ kwa  

This also used to create ligatures കൂട്ടക്ഷരം (there is two in the middle of that word) which brings us to the next part! Of course you’re allowed to leave them in their chandrakala form, Malayalam writing is more forgiving and flexible in that sense. Main thing to keep in mind is the nature behind the pronunciation, as mentioned above chandrakala removes the vowel sound of the letter, so when you add another letter after its to create a very abrupt sound at the beginning.

  ***Some letters might look different if you’re on mobile and that version is really old and not accepted***

These are some of the commonly used ones throughout the language. Also pronunciation examples are difficult because english is limited so I’ll try my best to find words, if i can’t we’ll have to rely on you being proficient in pronouncing normal looking Malayalam consonants.   

റ് റ becomes റ്റ ta, this the proper t sound in English, or /tːa/ (I know, it’s made of RA’s but this is how it is)

ല് ല becomes ല്ല lla like in villa

ണ്‌ട becomes ണ്ട  ṇṭa like in brenda

ങ്‌ക becomes ങ്ക ṅka like in monk

ങ്‌ങ becomes ങ്ങ ṅcha

ഞ്‌ച becomes ഞ്ച ñcha like in french ഫ്രഞ്ച് (see we even use to write it! Also see the chandrakala at the end of word gives it an abruptness, without it french becomes frencha)

ന്‌ത becomes ന്ത nta  say in-tha and feel that ntha

***ന്‌പ becomes മ്പ  mpa (not npa, because historically it’s from മ but for some reason it’s now written like that now) like in number

As mentioned before about the nature of chandrakala, it’s easier to show with double/same consonants because there is certain amount of force and abruptness to all these ligatures.

ക്‌ക becomes ക്ക kka say ikka 

ട്‌ട becomes ട്ട  ṭṭa

ണ്‌ണ becomes ണ്ണ  ṇṇa

ത്‌ത becomes ത്ത  tta

ന്‌ന becomes ന്ന  nna say mann, let the n linger

പ്‌പ becomes പ്പ   ppa  say ippa

മ്‌മ becomes മ്മ  mma  say amma let m linger (mother in Malayalam)

These are some special double consonant and easy to recall, add a triangle at the bottom!

ച്‌ച becomes ച്ച ccha  say icha

ബ്‌ബ becomes ബ്ബ bba

***യ്‌യ becomes യ്യ yya

***വ്‌വ becomes വ്വ vva

Examples

ചിരിച്ചു chirichu that chu is powerful and short

Pronunciation Homework

കുട്ടി child

അമ്മ mother

പപ്പ  (english word)

ഇല്ല no

ഉണ്ട് have

മഞ്ഞ yellow

തത്ത parrot

This might be a lot to take in, but be sure to practice these sounds and ask us if you need anything cleared up! And don’t worry, we’ll continue with grammar next week!

[cogentranting]

A Definitive Ranking of All Arrow Trios

OTA (Original Team Arrow): Oliver, Diggle, Felicity- 99/100 Practically perfect in every way, the core of the show, complementing skills and personalities, great teamwork, without them there’s no show. -1 for lying to each other

Island Trio: Oliver, Slade, Shado- 91/100 very good team, little island family, love each other a lot, very talented (they’ll kill you and then have a campfire and tease each other), very supportive even when murdering, would die for each other, -4 love triangle stuff, -5 death and mirakuru

The Queen Siblings: Oliver, Thea, Tommy- 85/100 Wonderful sweet family, lots of canon and headcanoned sibling bonding, big brother Tommy, Oliver and Tommy looking out for one another, -10 for Oliver stealing Tommy’s girl, -5 for Thea flirting with her brother

Team Super Spies: Maseo, Tatsu, Oliver- 83/100 lovely family dynamic, Maseo and Tatsu power couple, swords archery and gun makes a great combo, Oliver gets nice mentors and a positive example of a loving couple, spy stuff, -7 dead kid, -5 abandoning your wife, -5 group only formed under threat of death and Oliver was basically enslaved the whole time

TAJ (Team Arrow Junior): Roy, Thea, Sin- 80/100 could also be called the scooby gang, lots of spunk, no love triangle drama, gets stuff done, also almost get killed, -5 bad listeners and lie a lot, -15 for forgetting Sin existed

Mayor’s Squad: Oliver, Quentin, Thea- 77/100 supportive family dynamic, good political team, pretty honest with each other (its a big deal for them), nice blend of political styles, so grown up, I’m proud of them, -10 shady political dealings, -3 nepotism, -10 bad judge of character for other members of the Mayor’s office

NTA (New Team Arrow): Rene, Curtis, Dinah- 75/100 great realistic friend banter, meta tech and skill makes a good power balance, good back up singers, different enough from OTA, -12 for limited screen time

The Queens (aka Team Impaled on a Sword): Moira, Oliver, Thea- 73/100 wonderful family, don’t mess with them they’ll have you killed, will lie for each other about anything, would do anything for each other, shared experience with swords, -7 for lying to each other, -10 for having Oliver tortured, -10 for petty grudges

Suicide Squad: Diggle, Lyla, Deadshot- 71/100 Dyla Dream Team, Diggle/Deadshot bromance, ex soldiers working together, very skilled, lots of snark, -15 for shooting Dig’s brother, -9 for putting a bomb in a team member’s skull, -5 for general distrust

Evil Girl Group: Talia, Black Siren, Evelyn- 68/100 Very powerful, very evil, good chance of redemption as individuals, small chance of redemption as a group, effective team, big sisters to Evelyn yay!, -16 for lack of screen time together, -16 for maybe leaving each other to die on an exploding island

The Diggles 1.0: Diggle, Lyla, Sara- 68/100 Dyla Dream Team, very cute baby girl, superspy and vigilante power couple, low drama, -30 baby Sara can’t contribute to team efforts and does not have her own characterization for she is a baby, -2 don’t work together very often

The Diggles 3.0: Diggle, Lyla, JJ- 67/100 same as above but -1 for erasing Sara from existence

Slightly Less Evil Girl Group: Chien Na Wei, Cupid, Liza Warner- 65/100 fun team up, good diversity, broke out of jail that’s fun, Cupid always gets points, -20 for only one episode, -10 for Liza Warner barely being a character, -5 for Chien Na Wei sometimes outclassing the others sometimes being on their level

Team “We Don’t Need Oliver and Felicity- Oh Wait We Do!”: Diggle, Laurel, Thea- 62/100 interesting combination of characters, good vigilante team, did a good job protecting the city, good sister dynamic with Thea and Laurel -20 never actually really saw the group on screen, -13 needed Oliver and Felicity back as soon as things got tough and interrupted the proposal, -5 not enough Diggle

Newbies: Rene, Rory, Evelyn- 60/100 nice varied skill set, good sibling bickering, lots of sass, -30 for Evelyn betraying them, +10 for cute Christmas presents

Kinda a Group Briefly- Diggle, Roy, Laurel- 58/100 good team potential, good Roy and Laurel friendship, good Diggle advice, -7 not enough Diggle, -30 only existed for one episode, -5 Laurel doesn’t know what she’s doing

Original Trio: Oliver, Tommy, Laurel- 56/100 Tommy and Oliver bromance is very very good, Tommy and Laurel romance is very good, allusions to growing up together is good, Laurel and Oliver supporting Tommy is good, -30 for love triangle nonsense, -4 for not getting out the glades when you’re supposed to and getting Tommy killed, -10 for judgment and accusations and lies on all accounts

The Lances: Sara, Laurel, Quentin- 55/100 Love each other a lot, good dad, good sisters (mostly), assassin lawyer and cop is a fun combo, -30 why you always lyin’, -5 why you always dyin’, -10 can’t handle grief

So Crazy it Just Might Work Squad: Anatoly, Sara, Oliver- 52/100 hard to beat because they’re a little crazy, good out-of-the-box thinking, origins of the Anatoly/Oliver bromance, pretty effective -10 because they might ram a sub into your brand new freighter and won’t even say they’re sorry, -30 bad habit of assuming the rest of the team is dead without checking, -8 no real bonding 

SCPB (Starling City Police Buddies): Quentin, Hilton, Kelton 50/100 matching names! kind of, Kelton respects Felicity, good police work, good dry humor, -30 for forgetting Kelton, -10 for demoting Quentin, -10 for killing Hilton 

Did They Send Me Daughters?: Yao Fei, Shado, Mei- 48/100 all cool people, good fighters, took care of Oliver, -30 in a year and a half didn’t mention Mei once, -15 Yao Fei playing favorites only training Shado, -7 forgetting Mei

League of Jerks Remix: Ra’s, Maseo, Al Sahim- 42/100 big improvement over original League of Jerks, lots of talent, very evil, much less rudeness to each other than original LoJ, Ra’s is very supportive of Al Sahim, they train each other try to help each other improve, could probably take over the world if one of them wasn’t only pretending to be part of the team, -40 for Al Sahim secretly being still good, -10 for forced marriages, -5 for mass murder, -3 for attempted brainwashing

Lance Sisters: Laurel, Sara, Sin- 40/100 cute sister moments, Sin’s existence brings them favor, -20 for sleeping with sister’s boyfriend, -10 for pettiness, -30 for Sin and Laurel never meeting

Bratva and Friends: Anatoly, Oliver, Viktor- 39/100  +30 for Oliver and Anatoly bromance, +8 skill overthrowing Bratva leaders and despotic tyrants, +1 Russian accents, -40 for betrayal, -18 for Viktor not mattering except to betray them, -3 because friends don’t let friends casually torture people to death

The Smoaks: Donna, Noah, Felicity- 37/100 no team unity, divorce and betrayal, lying to your daughter, not telling your mother your secret identity, too much criminal activity, abandonment issues, +10 for hacking skills, +7 for sacrificing for Felicity, +15 for Felicity, +5 for Donna’s emotional intelligence when she shows it

Team Deathstroke: Slade, Blood, Isabel- 35/100 accomplished a lot, all of them are Oliver’s friends but not really, very very evil, -10 for not liking each other, -5 for Blood’s name, -30 for betraying and killing each other, -10 for Isabel being creepy, -10 for Blood falling for Oliver’s charm and quitting the team

Original Trio Senior: Robert, Malcolm, Moira- 25/100 Lots of cheating on each other, lots of secret keeping, one murder, one attempted murder, lots of blackmail, not very good with teamwork at all, a fair amount of accidentally killing their own children because of all this, +10 for sneakiness skills, +5 for dry elitist snark, +5 for taking care of each other’s kids, +5 good doomsday planning

Purgatory Pals: Fyers, Wintergreen, Yao Fei- 22/100 they’re not even friends, have to pay each other to work together, Billy doesn’t get to show his face, kidnapped the daughter of one of them, shot Yao Fei in the face

Team Vertigo: The Count, That Psychiatrist Dude, Count Vertigo- 20/100 Know how to stick to a theme, shared interests, make for really good episodes, villainous but also know how to create good cathartic internal struggles, -5 for not knowing the one guy’s name, -5 for two kind of having the same name, -70 for not actually being a team

League of Jerks: Ra’s, Maseo, Nyssa- 17/100 very rude to each other, too many forced marriages, intentionally kicked one member of the trio out and replaced her, are Maseo and Nyssa even friends?, +10 for Ninja skills, +5 for Nyssa, +2 for effectiveness

I Guess They Were a Team: Slade, Oliver, Sara- 12/100 only together very briefly, first thing they do is lie to each other, lots of strangling, some torture of each other, no trust, too much mirakuru, +12 for taking over the freighter and good planning skills

The Diggles 2.0: Diggle, Lyla, Andy- 7/100 very bad trio, lots of betrayal, threatening the lives of children, killing friends, brainwashing, keeping people locked in cages, shooting brothers, +7 for Dyla Dream Team

The Psycho Ex’s: Helena, Isabel, Cooper- 5/100 very bad team, don’t even know each other, very mean to their ex’s, very creepy, +5 would be good villain team if they met

[newssplashy]

My three years in detention drew me closer to god –Chris Anyanwu

Senator Chris Anyanwu is a journalist and author. Detained by the military regime of late Gen. Sani Abacha for three years, she told Eric Dumo how that experience changed her life and how she manages to stay healthy

Even though you are 66, you look younger, what is the secret behind this?

As a person, I don’t take cognisance of my age; I just go ahead and do the things I need to do. I’ve realised that if you focus on age, you are not going to get things done.

Now that I am not currently in the Senate, I run my business and also get involved in a lot of other activities. I am in good health and go about my normal activities, I give glory to God.

As part of my daily routine, I make sure I take a walk in the morning as a form of exercise. I also love to swim even though I hardly have the time to do so. Once in a long while, I do go to the spa to pamper myself. But above all, I make sure I eat well and healthy, too. I work hard every day, because it is part of what stay keeps me healthy.

You spent much of your growing up years in Owerri, Imo State, what was that period of your life like?

I had an amazing childhood and growing up. My parents were both educationists even though my father was a member of the federal parliament in the first republic and so we used to visit Lagos from time to time. After secondary school, I left Owerri for the United States of America for further studies at the University of Missouri and Florida State University.

As the first of twelve children, there was no form of pampering for me. In fact, all of us were raised with discipline and the principles of hard work by my parents.

Being the first of 12 children, there must have been added burden on you from your parents and others to be a good girl, was that the case?

Indeed that role made me very responsible even from a tender age. I grew up knowing that I had to be mindful of what I did or said because of the people behind me who looked up to me for leadership. I learnt to take care of my siblings and also how to give and love others even when not convenient for me. Being the first of 12 children really helped me develop fast and in the right way.

As a result of the type of people my parents were, there was plenty of discipline in the house but also fun time too. I remember my father used to play lawn tennis with us in the compound in those days, we all enjoyed those sessions. There was freedom to do the things you wanted even though you knew what your limits were. My father was indeed a role model for us.

You studied journalism in the US, was that what you always wanted to do as a child?

As a child, I remember somebody asking me what I wanted to become in life and I telling the person that I wanted to become an ambassador. I dreamt of becoming that in life without even knowing what it was all about.

Later in life, when I was a bit grown, I remember my father always buying Time Magazine and giving it to me to read. It was through that way that the interest in reading and writing started. Also, by reading different publications that I came in contact with much later, I learnt to emulate very successful women in Nigeria and abroad. It was a foundation that helped me become the woman I am today.

Upon your return to Nigeria after your studies in the US, you worked with the Nigerian Television Authority, what was that experience like?

It was an amazing period for me. The experience of always being on the field and reporting stories is something I can never forget.

What I and my colleagues at the time tried to do was to bring back to Nigeria the type of professionalism in broadcast journalism that we saw overseas. As a result of the passion I brought into the job, I was able to do a lot of reports that captivated people. As a reporter on the energy desk of NTA, I followed a lot of stories in the industry and broke it down in the simplest form for Nigerians to understand what was going on in that sector. It was a very interesting period for me as a journalist.

As one of the big names in television journalism during your time; did you get any sort of nickname as a result of your work?

I don’t remember any nickname but I used to get a lot of letters of commendation from people while at the NTA. Apart from this, people showed their appreciation through different means. I remember visiting the Ido Market in Lagos one day to shop for items and hearing a man behind me say “This is Chris Anyanwu reporting for NTA”. I was a bit embarrassed because I never knew that people knew me that much. Even though it was a nice thing, I particularly didn’t like that sort of attention. There were other instances as well.

So, did that experience keep you away from visiting markets subsequently?

It didn’t really stop me from going to the market but that encounter made me apply more caution while in places like that so as not to attract such undue attention again.

For three years, you were detained by the late Gen. Sani Abacha regime for reporting a story. In those periods, what were some of the things that ran through your mind?

That is a chapter I wish not to look back to again because I have written a book about it. For me, the entire episode shows what is possible in a state of anomie, in a state where things get out of hand.

The quality of leadership in any environment is very important to the existence of the people there because it can make life tough and also beautiful. But when people allow the wrong set of persons to emerge as their leaders, they pay a very high price for that. Nigerians have to be very careful who they make their leaders because they can suffer very grave consequences as a result of this.

A lot of international recognition came after you were released from detention. When you look back today, do you feel compensated for those years you suffered unjustly?

Even though I appreciate and cherish each of those recognitions given to me upon release from detention, I do not really dwell much on those horrible three years. For me, I learnt the necessary lessons there were to be learnt and moved on.

The truth is that nothing can compensate a person for injustice suffered. Abacha wanted to punish me but he used his hands to elevate me before the world. I consider myself to be lucky for being alive, I’m grateful to God. I learnt a lot of lessons and gathered plenty of strength from the experience.

So, what are some of those big lessons those three years taught you?

The period of my detention by the military drew me closer to God. I remember the first day I was detained; my sister came to visit me and gave me a Bible. Out of anger, I threw it back at her, asking where God was when I was being detained. But as time wore on and my understanding of the scriptures began to grow, I realised what God had in stock for my life. By the time I fully understood the word, I had become a different person, closer to God than ever.

Those three years in detention taught me a lot of patience. I learnt to be calm no matter what the situation is.

In those three years you were held, how did your husband and children fare, it must have been a very traumatic period for them, wasn’t it?

My family had to move abroad at the time because the government was a very ruthless one that was ready to hurt me in any way. It was a time of great tribulation for us as a family. In fact, most of what I had were lost, so upon my release, I had to rebuild from the scratch. As a family, we survived those turbulent days through the mercies of God.

In this part of the world, it is common for people to desert us when we are in trouble. In those three years; did you lose friends and others close to you?

It was a frightening period for everyone; only few people could afford to brave the risk involved. But some friends still managed to stand by me and maintain a link through my siblings who were allowed to visit me.

However, the striking thing I found out was that Nigerians had not learnt to stick out their necks for people who suffer injustices. We don’t have that culture here and we need to develop that. Once one person is dehumanised, we are all dehumanised. We must understand this fact and not sit on the fence to watch such persons suffer injustice. That attitude must change if we are to develop on the right path as a society.

You represented Imo East at the Senate for several years, coming from your background as a journalist, how did you cope in your first few months in the upper legislative chamber?

At a point in my career with NTA, I covered the senate, so fitting into the processes at the Senate wasn’t strange to me or difficult.

But what I also discovered was that being an observer from outside and a participant from inside are two different things. The knowledge learnt has really enriched my understanding of governance and leadership.

As a female, how did you cope in a parliament dominated by men?

As a journalist, I have always operated in a man’s world, so it wasn’t any different when I was elected to the senate. My background as a journalist helped me to settle in well among the men.

People who know you consider you to be a good dresser, what informs your fashion sense?

I really do not consider myself as being stylish or a great dresser, I just think I am a simple person who likes to be comfortable in what she wears.

In terms of music and maybe wine, which ones do you prefer?

In this aspect, I think I will fail. I cannot really say what my preference in those regards are but one thing I know is that I like to eat vegetables a lot. Fruits are also a regular on the things I like to pamper myself with. I am trying to stay off starch and red meat as much as possible.

In terms of relaxation and holiday, which strategy do you adopt?

I like nature a lot, in fact gardening is one of my favourite hobbies and that is why I make sure I do the landscaping of any house I live in. As a matter of fact, I make sure any environment I am, there are lots of trees. In my house, I often sit under trees; it is a great way of relaxation for me.

What is the greatest advice you’ll say your parents ever gave you?

Even though my parents used to dish out advice all the time, they always told me to be careful in selecting my friends. I consider this a great word because it has lived with and guided me throughout my journey.

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  source https://www.newssplashy.com/2018/04/my-three-years-in-detention-drew-me.html

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for refusing to drive my sister around unless she pays me?

I (16) am learning to drive right now, and my sister (14) can be really really reckless around anything to do with cars. I'm pretty sure she picked it up from our older brother (18 and 20), neither of which I've ever seen put a seat belt on while driving. My brothers just don't care about safety in any situations, but my sister refuses to put a seat belt on as if she's trying to prove something. Like, she sometimes gets genuinely upset if someone tells her to put a seat belt on. I've tried to ask her about the problem before, and what it comes down to is that she's never been involved in a car crash and consequently doesn't think that there's any real danger.

There's this weird rule my family has had our whole lives that if you don't wear your seat belt during a drive, you owe the driver a dollar. Everyone in my family kinda stopped doing that because kids grow up and are supposed to learn how to be safe without being bribed. Well, I told my sister that whenever I was driving, the rule would be back in place.

The thing is, I don't actually want a dollar from my sister. I just want it to be a motivator and I want her to put her seat belt on.

Well, it didn't work, because the first time I ever drove her somewhere, I learned upon arrival that she had literally unbuckled her seat belt on the way there. I told her that she owed me a dollar and she seemed completely unbothered by that. So I told her that if she didn't buckle it on her way back, she owed me ten dollars instead.

Once again, I don't actually want money from her. She's fourteen and has never had an actual job. I just wanted the money to convince her to put her seat belt on. And it didn't work. She didn't buckle it on the way back. She refused to pay the ten dollars, because she said she thinks that it's a ridiculous amount of money to pay just because she wasn't wearing a seat belt. So the compromise we're currently doing is that she can't ask me to drive her anywhere unless she pays the money from her not buckling it.

Reasons I might be the asshole: She literally has no way to get anywhere if I don't drive her. My parents are always busy unless you plan, like, three weeks in advance, which is difficult at the age of 14. We live in an area where I'd have to drive an hour to get to the nearest public transportation, and there aren't enough sidewalks for her to walk places. We also moved pretty recently and I don't want her to struggle maintaining friendships just because her older sibling refuses to drive her places. And honestly it's not just with her friendships-if I drove my mom somewhere, me being the driver would automatically exclude my sister from participating. Also, money being involved at all makes me feel like I'm just being petty.

Reasons I might not be the asshole: I am not good at driving. I am still learning. I am constantly making turns that are sharper than they need to be, or pressing on the brakes too hard, or any number of things I have to practice with to get better at, and I can literally hear my sister getting thrown around in the backseat when I make mistakes. This is dangerous even if I don't get into a car crash, and I don't think I'm immune to ever getting in car crashes. Also, I have super debilitating anxiety, and if there's anything that immediately takes my focus away from driving, it's the idea that my little sister isn't safe right behind me.

Anyway yeah. AITA for that whole thing

What are these acronyms?