#on the borderline

[analanaisdying]

Does anyone else have someone who they completely idolize and are high key very obsessed with

Because for me it’s this girl I went to high school with and I’m actually obsessed with her and she sends me into the most insane identity crisis’ and yes I’m in one right now

Like with everything from the way she looks to the way she acts and the things she does, the friends she has, her socials, her clothes, her life, like EVERHTHING. Like I want to be her. I want her life. And it’s weird cuz it’s not like she’s this epitome of health and I want to have a good life. She also struggles like shit. I can’t fckn explain it but I’ve always been so fckn fixated on her and obsessed with her and it’s insane.

( Also not talking about a fp )

[frownyalfred]

Hello! I know I’m super late to the party, but I recently read a fic of yours on archive that was wonderful (borderline). It was fascinating, creative, fun, and as someone not too into romance I really loved its more gen focus (I feel like so often romance is a big part of stories like this so it was honestly refreshing). I’m curious, what are you most interested in exploring about the bond in this series’s future fics (if you can answer that atm, of course, I realize you are probably hyper-focused on ongoing works’ world-building rn) because I feel like there’s so much to explore.

Also, I wish you the best of luck with all of your future/ongoing fics moving forward!

Hi anon! Thank you for the lovely question.

I think what I'm most excited about exploring is how Dick's talonization plays into the bond. Damian's guilt, Dick's struggle with his own new instincts, and the fallout of everything that happened in the last fic.

I think what will be very interesting is to see how they try to return to a somewhat "normal" life, if such a thing is even possible. Are they able to have meaningful relationships outside of the bond? Some semblance of privacy? Will Dick's anger and pain and Damian's guilt subsume them all? Will they become more like each other and less distinct as time goes on? As someone in the comments aptly pointed out, will they even care by the time they notice such possible changes?

I also want Bruce to learn more about what it means to be the center of the bond and what the special relationship he has with Gotham means.

However, before I tackle that sequel, I definitely want to get at least one outsider!POV fic about the bond up in the series. I keep thinking about their visit to the Watchtower and how it must have appeared to onlookers. So delicious!

Writing borderline is so fun but also so much work. I feel just like Bruce when balancing all of those thoughts -- trying to keep everyone distinct but also letting them overlap was way harder than I thought it would be! So fun to write, but after pumping out a couple thousand words, I would be mentally exhausted.

Thank you for the lovely ask <3 I hope that after ASOH wraps up, I can maybe update a few other WIPs (bloodletting comes to mind) and then tackle these sequels!

[smeetlinglord]

On New Ideas

Listening to concepts you have never heard before is going to be uncomfortable & might even be painful, so I suggest you allow yourself to be uncomfortable and continue engaging with the ideas and the person/people delivering them anyway. Your discomfort arises upon arrival to these conversations because the information is new to you. That's an evolutionary process we are ingrained with at birth in order to detect danger. It is just an instinct. You don't need to let it control what you do, what you say, and how you interpret the information presented to you.

Pay attention! Is the information coming from a trustworthy source, and are you going to check if you're not sure? Is the information being presented in good faith, skillfully, candidly, and with the intention of collaboration of ideas to a mutual understanding as a means of creating tangible societal change? Does the presenter/s seem unsure of themselves? Take note of tone of voice and body language, but do not assume their meanings. Ask questions! Ask them questions to broaden your understanding of the person/s and the material, not to react to, interrupt, redirect, minimize or dismiss. Bring up how you're feeling about what is being presented to you. Bring up what you don't understand. Work together against the misunderstanding, not against each other.

Be prepared to learn the hard way. Sometimes you will walk away from a discussion feeling discouraged, insecure, maybe even attacked, and you must not only acknowledge that you feel this way, but also work to extinguish it as a knee jerk reaction. The more you invite unpleasant feelings to stay for awhile and then leave when they are due to leave, the less power they will have over you. You will have to deliberately steer yourself into a distraction when the feeling/s become unhelpful, such as when they are being dwelled upon, creating anxiety, depression, paranoia, restlessness, etc.

Know when to take a break or disengage. If you are becoming reactive, short, agitated, stubborn, or another acted upon feeling that is preventing progress in the discussion, step away for a few minutes (this does not mean abandoning the conversation altogether, it means creating a brief pause and then coming back to resume it.)

If the other person or people is/are showing signs of these and won't back away, then it is time to disengage. Politely assert that the discussion cannot progress at this time and that you will be ending it. Assess if your relationship to the person/people giving you the information is worth keeping - this will indicate whether or not you will be coming back to the discussion later and you must provide this information so as not to mislead others. It is far less regrettable to communicate healthy boundaries clearly, firmly, and kindly and receive a bad reaction than it is to omit your intentions from others for the sake of self-perceived peace; people-pleasing kills intimacy, trust, and understanding. Let others know what your future plans are with them moving forward.

I hope this information helped you. I have about 5 years of experience with DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and the skills presented in it are proven to be highly useful across a vast range of psyches. My posts like this one are heavily influenced by this school of thought. More coming soon! I love talking about how to communicate, emotionally and physically regulate, and creating a life worth living! Stay tuned baddies 🫶🏻🫵🏻❤️‍🔥

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[arrgh-whatever]

[valentina-poem]

[worthless-mess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[unbearable-swagger]

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

[bl0w-m3]

Thanks for hanging out with me! Was I cool? did you like me? What do you think of me in detail? Do you hate me?

[met4lwhore]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[feralkitten420]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[loullipopx]

My Pokémon ❤️💙

[smeetlinglord]

The collective double standard of people with BPD to be expected to educate other people about our disorder, and also never complain about or ask for anything because everyone is trying so hard and we should stfu 🤩

[vilea777]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[analanaisdying]

I don’t want to be 20 that’s so embarrassing like it sounds so old.

Aka idk how my identity fits into not being a teen and every time I think about it I have a crippling identity crisis.