#one of them talks to me about his life and stuff but doesnt listen to a word i say to him.

[x-bongus-x]

didnt wanna rant in the tags of that previous post i reblogged so im making a separate post

cause man i WISH i could just do fuck all at work sometimes. theyre monitoring your performance and i always skip at least one of my breaks so i can stay well above the quota and get performance bonuses. but its fucking bullshit that the time you spend on a coffee break counts towards your hourly average of lines collected. my feet hurt every day and im slowly developing a bunion from this shit fucking job that doesnt let me sit down and fucking REST for a moment

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

The Boy is Mine

Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader

Request: I had one in mind where the reader and eddie are high school sweethearts and hes a big rockstar now and they just had a baby and they hire a nanny for a few days cause they need to go to meetinfs and tours and stuff and she notices the nanny is eyeing eddie and flirting with him but he doesnt pay any attention to it and one day when the reader hears them talking and the nanny crosses the line eddie throws her out and the reader confesses she struggles with her body after the baby and they make love? :)

18+ Only!

You swayed back and forth gently, soothing your sweet son to sleep. The door was cracked just enough that you could see your husband in the living room of the suite, chatting with Sara, the nanny. You silently seethed as you watched her once again hit on your husband. She gave him her most demure smile, resting her hand on his forearm and laughing lightly at something he’d said. To Eddie’s credit, he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was hitting on him all the time. 

It had been Eddie’s idea to hire the nanny after you had Jax. Between meetings and late night shows, you needed help. Eddie wanted you at everything. He insisted that his best girl cheer him on every night. So, he figured the nanny would be the perfect solution. She could do the late night feedings so you could sleep after the concert. She could watch him so you could attend meetings with the record label, the tour manager, and the media. Eddie valued your input and he wanted you there to hear everything firsthand so you could give him your honest opinion. 

You appreciated it but you hated watching someone else take care of your sweet baby boy. And now, seeing that she wanted to take care of your big boy too was about to send you over the edge. You hadn’t said anything to Eddie because you knew how he would respond. He would tell you that you were overreacting, that everything was fine, that he would never cheat on you. You knew that but it didn’t mean you enjoyed watching some girl hang all over him. 

Sighing, you moved to Jax’s portable crib, tenderly laying him down on his back, stroking his cheek with the back of your hand. He was so beautiful with a dark head of hair and full lips just like his father. But you could see yourself in there too, in the curve of his nose and his eyes. He was the perfect blend of the two of you, the product of your infinite love for each other right there for the world to see. 

“What the hell!?” you heard Eddie yell, your hand stilling as you paused to listen. “Absolutely not! What the fuck is wrong with you!?” “I just thought…” began Sara but he quickly cut her off.

“You just thought what? That I would throw away my entire life? That I would ever cheat on my wife? You need to get your shit and get the hell out. You’re fired.”

“But we’re all the way in Minnesota!?” shrieked Sara loudly. “How am I supposed to get home?” “I really don’t give a shit,” snapped Eddie. “Just get your shit and get the hell out of my face!”

“Eddie, come on,” she pleaded. 

“No. You don’t get to fucking touch me like that. You’re here to take care of my son so I can enjoy time with my wife. My goddamn wife, Sara, who I have loved since high school! The fact that you even thought I would consider something with you tells me you’re delusional. Seriously, get your shit or I will have security remove you.”

You heard a choked sob and then the sound of the suite room door slamming. Eddie let loose a string of curses, a pounding following. He must have punched the wall. You stood, frozen in place, unsure of what to do now. He had to know you’d heard. He wasn’t exactly being quiet. 

“Darling?” he called, his voice gentler, softer now that he was speaking to you. 

“Yeah?” you replied quietly, stepping out, softly closing Jax’s door behind you, not wanting to wake him. 

“Fuck!” Eddie muttered, running his fingers through his tangled mane. “Can you believe her!?”

“Yeah, actually, I can.”

Eddie spun on you, shock written all over that beautiful face. “What? You’re not surprised that our nanny just grabbed my dick?”

You sucked in a sharp breath at his words, “I didn’t know she did that, exactly. If I would have known that, she wouldn’t have been walking out of here without a black eye to match that tiny black skirt she likes to wear around you so much. But no, I am not surprised. I mean, seriously Eddie? She’s been hitting on you for weeks.”

“She has?”

“Oh baby,” you mused, stepping into him, cupping his cheek in your hand. “It is so sweet how absolutely oblivious you are.” You pressed yourself into him, your breasts pushed against his chest. “Oh Eddie.” You batted your lashes and then covered your mouth, giggling like a schoolgirl. “You’re so funny. Your wife is so lucky. You’re so talented. I love watching you play.”

Eddie’s nose crinkled, his head jerking back, “She really did that stuff?” “Yes baby. I mean, can you blame her?” You laughed, shaking your head. “Look at you. Every single girl that comes to your shows wants a chance with you and who could blame them?” Your fingers gently danced along his forearm, up over his chest. “You are the sexiest man and when you put a guitar in your hands, well, no girl stands a chance.”

“But I don’t want any of them,” he stated as if it were that simple, as if that was just a fact and that should be the end of it.

“And I love you for that but that doesn’t mean they don’t want you.”

Eddie smirked, that sweet little dimple appearing on his cheek, his hands coming to rest on your hips, “And what about you? Do you want me?”

“Every minute of every goddamn day,” you breathed softly. “It’s hard, you know, watching all of those beautiful girls throw themselves at you all the time. It was hard watching Sara. I mean, she’s gorgeous. You’re lucky I trust you. I just had a baby. My body is definitely not what it used to be. But I know how much you love me.”

“Princess, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me, inside and out,” Eddie spoke low, his lips grazing your jaw. “I don’t pay attention to any of those girls because they don’t matter. They can’t begin to compare. You’re all I want.”

“Eddie,” you sighed, tilting your head back as his lips explored your throat, his hands slipping under the back of her shirt, calloused fingers grazing your bare skin and sending a shiver down your spine. 

You gripped the bottom of his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against yours and he pulled back just enough for you to pull it over his head before his lips were on your again, his tongue parting your lips to meet yours. You moaned against his mouth, tracing the contours of his back with your fingers, the curves along his shoulder blades that you loved so much. The way they rippled as he moved, strumming his guitar in nothing but sweats in your room. You could watch him for hours, shocked and awed that this beautiful man was all yours. 

Eddie disposed of your shirt, quickly followed by your bra, nimble fingers making easy work of the clasp. Then his mouth was exploring your breasts, lavishing one nipple and then the other with that talented tongue. You arched your back, pressing yourself against his mouth, your hand tangling in his hair, your center aching, throbbing with need. 

“You are so goddamn perfect,” he whispered, one hand gripping the back of your neck as his other slid past the waistband of your leggings and into your panties. You were already wet from his teasing and his fingers slipped easily inside of you, pressed to the hilt, curling in that delicious way that had your legs threatening to give out from under you. “That’s what my girl wanted, isn’t it?”

You nodded, barely able to form a coherent thought, let alone actual words. Your hands clung to him, one still in his hair, the other gripping his bicep to keep yourself steady so you didn’t collapse to the floor. The muscles in your legs quivered as Eddie nipped at the flesh along your shoulder and collarbone before running the flat of his tongue along the side of your neck. 

A guttural moan from deep within you passed through your lips and Eddie growled, pulling your earlobe between his teeth. Your body shuddered, on the verge of completely losing all control. He brought his thumb up, circling your clit as his fingers moved against that sweet spongy place within you and a sound you didn’t even have a word for ripped from your body as everything in you stretched taut until snapping completely. You unraveled at his touch. 

“That’s it baby,” he praised, his hand on your neck the only thing keeping you from collapsing completely as you shook with pleasure. “You’re so fucking sexy when you come for me.”

As his fingers slid from you, his lips crashed against yours, hands pushing your leggings and panties down in one frenzied movement. You worked at his belt and then the button on his pants, pressing them over his hips and down his legs. Your lips never strayed from one another as he walked backward, bringing you with him to the couch. When the backs of his knees hit it, he sat down and you straddled his lap.

“Yes princess, I want to watch you ride me,” he murmured, eyes lust blown, one hand gripping your hip as the other gripped his cock. 

You lowered yourself over him, both of you moaning as you snuggled your ass against him, fully engulfing him within you. Jesus, there was nothing like the feeling of your bodies coming together, two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. Sex with Eddie was just as exciting as it had been in high school, possibly even more so because you were connected on a whole different level. There was nothing you wouldn’t try for him and the two of you had explored a variety of things. There was a level of comfort that made everything so much more fun. 

Your hands held onto the back of the couch as you rocked your hips against him. Eddie pressed his face against your chest, his hand on the small of your back as his mouth teased, licked, and nipped at every bit of skin he could get to. Your head fell back with pleasure, hair cascading down your back. 

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart,” he mumbled against your skin, “you feel so goddamn good.”

You rotated your hips, forming figure eights and he cried out, biting his lip, fingers digging into your flesh. You knew how much that drove him crazy. You would rock forward and back, then move in circles, then figure eights, constantly switching it up and relishing every single sound of pleasure and surprise he made. This had always been Eddie’s favorite position. He wanted you facing each other so he could watch you and he loved letting you take control. 

“Baby…” you gasped, “I’m close again…fuck!”

“Me too, princess. Me too…don’t stop…come with me, baby.”

Reaching one hand between your bodies, you toyed with your clit, urging your orgasm on in an effort to give Eddie what he wanted. He brought a hand up, gripping your breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and forefinger and then rolling it. It didn’t take much and you were ready to explode once again. 

“I’m gonna…shit…don’t stop…” he grunted, his hand on you losing traction as he came close to the edge. “Fuck!”

You felt his release fill you just as your own came crashing down upon you. Eddie’s arms held you in a vice, keeping your bodies pressed together as you both rode out the high. He shuddered, releasing a slow breath as his arms loosened. His hands came to cradle your face, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. 

“I fucking love you so much.”

“Me too,” you murmured, pressing your forehead against his with a smile. 

[morganbritton132]

Ahh I love your emtts I catch up on every day like it's my evening newspaper 😂 Speaking of I just saw the response where you mentioned Robin and Steve saying hi to their FBI agents and that's hilarious

Like the idea that Robin and Steve are so used to being bugged that they say hi to the FBI, Steve is vehemently against Alexa, doesnt have much of a social media presence (aside from Facebook) and is still futile trying to stop Eddie from breaking his NDA because Eddie may only have one Steve signed FOUR is so funny in the context of this au where Eddie just tells tiktok Steve has mommy issues 😂 The contrast is just so funny to me

But anyway. I absolutely love your au and all the details you've put into it and I hope you don't feel too much pressure when you get responses like this. Hope you have a good day

No pressure felt at all! I absolutely love being sent stuff like this. I think it’s so cool that people pick up on little world building things and expand on them because those are my favorite things to write. I’ve always found something really fascinating about grounding a character into a realism that’s just kinda mundane. I think it’s neat and I think it’s cool that other people see it and seem to like it.

It's like the saga has it’s own fandom and I love it.

After Starcourt, Steve and Robin started signing off their phone calls with “Bye Steve/Bye Robin/Bye FBI agent bugging my phone” because sometimes there was this weird staticky sound on the line when they talked.

And sure, maybe it was because the mall fire caused significant damage to the power grin and everything was flickering and staticky that summer. Maybe it was Steve’s second concussion of the year still ringing around his head. It’s funnier to imagine that it’s an FBI agent sitting in some hot sweaty van listening to them talk about girls and minimum wage jobs.

“Holy shit,” Steve said one night, cutting Robin off in their ever-depressing job search. “We’ve talked about girls.”

“Uh, yeah? Did you forget?”

“That means that you came out to me and the FBI, Buckley.”

Steve actually told Robin that the FBI monitors them for a bit after every Upside Down event. They patch you up and give you an NDA, and then they watch you for a while to see if you’re a traitor to your country. That’s just common sense.

Dustin overheard him and said that this was real life and not a bad spy movie. Steve was just being paranoid.

Steve’s just like, “Oh yeah, if I’m so paranoid then why was there a weird van in the school parking lot when I l picked you up from your nerd club? That’s classic FBI.”

“You mean Eddie Munson’s van???”

Eddie signed the NDA but he’s never taken it seriously.

The first thing he did after he left the hospital was write a song about Vecna. He still preforms that song to this day. The artwork for their first album cover was a drawing of a demo-bat. That album sold over two million records.

Eddie’s never had a secret that he hasn’t told. Sometimes Eddie starts talking and he doesn’t know what’s going to come out and other times, he outs his husband’s mommy issues to his audience of six million.

Eddie will start a live stream like, “Ask me anything, I’m an open book.”

Steve’s just like, “Babe.”

“Sorry, Steve said I’m not allowed to be an open book.”

 

(Side note: It is very important to me that the only social media that Steve has is Facebook because (1) it’s a mom’s social media and (2) it’s unsecure as fuck. Not only is Facebook spying on you but it’s selling information. I just think it’s so funny that Steve won’t get an Alexa but he’ll give all his pictures and location to Mark Zuckerberg.)

[b-00-biez]

Hello! I love your works ^^

Ok, so what if the slashers (You can pick any slashers you'd like!) had an S/o that was extremely talkative and a bit loud, also gets excited to talk about the interests they love so much?

If you don't feel up for it please don't feel forced to do so <3 or please ignore this, have a good day!

Fr like me lmao

Slashers with a talkative S/O

characters: Thomas hewitt, brahms heelshire, Vincent Sinclair, Michael Myers

Thomas Hewitt

Its his past time listening to you while he works or doing chores

Like its crazy how youre talking about animal crossing while he chainsaws a victim 😭

Although if hes not doing work he would throw you on his lap and listen to you talk for hours until dinner

If hoyt ever says something about how annoying you are he would send a glare right back at him

He absolutely loves you and loves how you're comfortable with him talking so much about your life and interests

but dont be too loud only if hes not working

He doesnt want hoyt nagging him about focusing

So he asks you to reserve the loudness when hes not working or just chilling with you

He REALLY loves when you talk right before yall go to sleep

It makes him relax and hearing your voice is like music to him🥺

Brahms Heelshire

Before brahms could ever show himself to you you'd talk to the doll a lot

Like about your day, funny things that happened when you were in school, your hobbies

He feels like hes talking to you and finds you interesting

Its all when you found out about brahms being alive because he kept stealing your stuff

Like half of your luggage is gone

and you scolded the doll😭😭 the funny thing is after that all your stuff starts coming back

So after he reveals himself and asks for a kiss

You tucked him in bed and talked to him for hours he would appreciate a good night sleep and continue it tomorrow!

So tomorrow comes he loves listening to you at breakfast It's like hes a normal kid again

He loves knowing what you like so that one day he would also experience that with you

He also likes listening to stories about your childhood although he doesn't have much to share.

Vincent Sinclair

He thinks its pretty neat

He finds it boring being alone in the studio with all the artworks he has

and its nice to have someone other than his brothers checking up on him

If you both have similar likes he would absolutely be happy to listen to you everyday

Just like thomas he would listen to you like a radio or background music while he works

He puts you beside him or on his lap holding your waist while you talk his ear off about absolutely anything

Although dont be too loud

He would like a moderate speaking voice from time to time but if youre excited about something go ahead

Just dont be too loud often, he cant concentrate if theres too much going on

If hes not working he would either lay on your lap or lay you on his lap while you talk about anything to him

He would brush your hair or just massage your head while you do so

Michael Myers

This old man cant keep up and half of the words that left your mouth just gone through one ear and out the other for this one

He appreciates peace and quiet and would love to listen to you at the same time but once you grow old like him hes all grumpy

So to him all he can hear is "blah blah blah.." and would only hold onto key words

If you're talking about someone he will not remember who they are or any other details about them

He would act like hes listening but once you ask him if hes still listening you can hear him fucking snore😭😭

so your solution is to talk a bit louder which kept him awake half of the time

When he doesn't mind or is in a good mood

He would just listen to you blabber when making dinner, lunch or when hes too tired to stop you and too lazy to even get up and leave

When hes not in the mood he would just put his hand on your mouth and just stare at you blankly

👁️👁️ "stop"

And youll be like

👁️👄👁️

This fucking dick puts on your favorite movie to make you shut up too like youre going on about something and you just hear your favorite series playing

[rzyraffek]

Yall im bored and i have dol brainrot. Here u go random mostly sfw headcanons. Most of them are just jokes btw don't take this seriously. Beware i am not dol master so If something is inaccurate pls dont crucify me. Request open btw

Includes: what kind of music they lisen, random stuff they do, ect.

I used they/them for both PC and love intrests so some of those sentences were a hell to write

Tw: me going crazy over Avery (i have issues, pls if what I wrote was weird, just close your eyes and idk explode irl idc)

Random DOL headcanons

Kylar

IM FUCKING CONVINCED that this owl plushy that they give to PC has a camera inside. Im not sure if thats mensioned in game AND I didnt see anyone talk about this. But this dude litteraly says "make sure to put it somewhere high so it can protect you/watch you over" (im not 100% sure what they said but it was along those lines)

Wants to have matching black nails with PC

If their heart wouldnt beat so fast everytime PC gets close to them, Kylar acually would OFTEN fall asleep on PC's lap or shoulder (especially in school)

If s/o is afab, Kylar is defnitly into period sex

Had a huge zombie phase and has whole plan (in details) about how and what to do in case of zombie apocalypse acually happening (and they would acually lighten up if PC mensions anything about zombies, Kylar will talk about them whole night!)

Average phonk listener

Sidney

Sometimes wakes up in middle of night after nighmares and wishes PC would be there

High purity sindey will nervously figet with cross-neckace everytime they have lewd thoughts about PC

Overthinker

Sometimes when they pray together he pretends to have eyes closed but they acually look at PC cuz omg love, you look stunning

Watched Barbie with PC (liked it very much)

Lisens to Mitski

Pure Sydney cried after lisening to cupcake songs

Great Hawk

Dude is a simp

Loves when PC has flowers in their hair, and please give them some too!

If PC praises hawk when they give PC expensive objects (jewellery, wallets, purses ect) this harpy guy/gal will call them "little crow"😭 cuz from Hawks perspective thats how it looked like- they find wife, wife sad, they give shiny, wife happy.

(Alr guys this one is a 50/50 cuz im not sure if harpys have hands? Or just wings?) He discovered hand holding and now he wants to hold PC hand all the time!! But his claws sharp so be careful

Likes when PC has colorful hair

Sounds of Forest and other birds (and bird-people) are only sounds he music he needs 🦅

Got scared bcs there was a rock/metal music concert in city and it was loud and he was very upset

Eden

Dude wants to have kids so bad😭😭

Very tall!

If Pc is tiny/short, this guy/gal will pick them up with one hand and just carry PC back to their home

PLEASE kiss their old scars, and complement them! Eden doesnt really like how they look (they are not insecure but they just dont find time to pamper themselfs and look all fancy)

Sometimes wakes up in middle of night with cold sweat and checks if PC is still there

Conteplated if plant people are eatable

Hates deep water

Will say "I dont lisen to music" and then gets judged by PC and me. ( he enjoys some romantic old songs, i guess he likes Micheal Jackson? Maybe the ink spots??Idk)

Avery

Dude just wants to have good reputation😭😭 and nice looking PC

Tbh I would enjoy Avery-dad-figure content😭 like PC just doing all this stuff just to be accepted by some guy that could be their dad😭 their are fatherless afterall😭. Like hear me out PC just craving platonic love from this dude while he just wants to smash😓 (tbh he is not always doing sexuall stuff, sometimes he just vibes)

Pls dude is like 40 wtf is he doing with his life

*in car* "I swear PC if you say anything more about kpop im leaving you in forest"

Lisens to chrismas music😭

Ivory

Dude ate a squirrel once

I wanna cuddle them

Pls they look wet and cold, give them a nice towel and later blanket

Definitely got scared by their own reflection in mirror once

Can talk to animals

Lisens to gothic music

Likes bugs (months, Beatles, bees)

Alex

Dude lisens to Pitbull while working at farm

Picks PC up and throws them on hay piles for fun

Alex and Remy should settle this beef for good, they both should do kahoot about farm animal knowlage and no more "no its my farm not yours!" Bullshit

Watches soap opera when bored

Wears cowboys hats

Ginger

Leninghton

Rizzing up people twice younger than him (hes like 40 or something)

Enjoys board games and omg he loves card games

Hes probably married tbh

Has reddit account😔

The photos he takes in classes? He sells them

He and Bailey should kiss in meat grinder for beating PC ass for no reason🤩😍

[delusionalmultifandomwriter]

Batfam Sleep Noise HC

requested?: no

I should sleep because i literally have to get up at 5am but inspiration hit me

HC: What does the Batfam listen to while falling asleep?

Dick will listen to simple Talk Podcasts where the people talk about random topics. He needs something light to fall asleep. He is not picky though, he will start the first that pops up on Spotify and go with it.

Jason listens to Harry Potter Podcasts. Jay is a big nerd for Harry Potter and likes these podcasts where they will analyize the movies frame by frame. He will also listen to Back to the Future Minute.

Tim listens to TED talk but he never comes far because he will pass out immediatly most times. Podcasts come in truly handy for him when insomnia hits hard. Some nights when he feels lonely, he will listen to Boyfriend ASMR but he will take that secret to the grave. Sometimes he cries while listening to it and hugging his pillow.

Barbara also listens to TED talk. She also likes all sorts of tech podcasts. She will not only listen to podcasts while falling asleep but also during any other situation.

Stephanie likes to listen to meditation podcasts and noises. She will totally fall asleep to the sound of rain, forest noises or the sound of the sea. Steph is zen.

Cass prefers to fall asleep in silence. When insomnia hits her, she will listen to True Crime and History Crime Podcasts. Cannibalism, serial killers, child molesters, nothing is too hard for her. The family is totally questioning her sanity and how she can even listen to stuff like that but noone dares to fight her on it.

Duke listens to slow music. Sometimes it is LoFi but it doesnt really matter to him. Occassinally he will listen to childrens audio books because he used to listen to them when he was younger. He likes the Harry Potter audiobooks as well as other classics and Disney audiobooks.

Damian listens to the Clone Wars Audiobooks. He will listen to them over and over again because they are his comfort audiobooks. He religiously avoids the episode where Fives dies and the one where Ahsoka leaves the Jedi Order (i mean, who doesn't?). On the rare occassion he will listen to something else, he will listen to Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It brings a strange sense of control and normalcy to his truly extraordinary life.

Bruce falls asleep in silence or while listening to white noises. Fight me on that, i dare you.

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ WVBA At A Party ☆

So uhh tw for alcohol mention,emetophobia other than that its ok

Glass Joe

- doing his best not to get thrown into a dance circle

- anxious as fuck

- piston hondo (drunk as shit) keep trying to explain star wars lore to him

- hes just nodding and pretending to understand, he cant because hes speaking in japanese

- had some drinks & passed out because he doesnt take alcohol well

- woke up on the roof because some drunk bastard decided to put him onto there, theres now a investigation about trying to find who put Joe on the roof

- will hold your drink for you

- keeps getting dragged into doing dumb shit by aran ryan

Von Kaiser

- buzzed, looks like hes on the verge of death

- at the karaoke bar, killing it, yess grandpa slayyyy one foot in the grave one foot in the rave

- keeps chugging like hell, look at him go

- teaching some random people how to do traditional german dances

- randomly starts sobbing

- bear hugger has to stop him from chugging another bottle of whiskey

Disco Kid

- thrown into the dance circle, killing it

- spamming everyones phones with really positive texts

- "YUO AR TAKENTED SNF CAN DK SNYTHING YKU PUT YOU4 NINF UBTO" (You are really talented and can do anything you put your mind into)

-"thank you : )"

- "YOU SRE LIVEF ANR 4SKEBT2D,,,,ÖOCE YOURDRKF" (You are loved, love yourself)

- wasted

- giving out free hugs

- had a really good dance off with aran ryan

- fell down a flight of stairs and got up like it was nothing

- dancing the pain away

Piston Hondo

- avoiding the dance circle like its a death sentence

- explaining the star wars lore to glass joe in japanese

- will hate himself in the morning

- speaking really broken japanglish with bear hugger

- keeps lifting up von kaiser & running away as he holds him

- partying hard

- randomly starts speaking about stuff, you could be talking about how you ran over a man and his son just yesterday and he'll be like "Do you like sailor moon"

- tried to eat a glass of water, sad because he got stopped

- randomly got stuck in a british accent

King Hippo

- passed out on the floor

- someone help him please

- people keep trying to use him as a trampoline

- randomly gets up and starts to talk about sea slugs

- he just leaves after that,he is done

Great Tiger

- only sober person here

- has to stop piston hondo from explaining the star wars lore to random people

- making sure everyone is hydrated

- victim of disco kids positive texts

- gathers drunk passed out people and puts them somewhere safe so nobody gets hurt

- oh my god he is on the verge of tears from all this stress he needs help

- ended up sobbing into disco kids arms after it all got too stressful

- he could really use a break

- will hold your drink,may switch it out with water if he decides youve had enough for tonight

Don Flamenco

- too distracted too go to the dance circle

- keeps singing & referencing dumb stuff while anyone talks to him, he just has 0 thoughts right now

- "i feel like im never gonna amount to anything in my life, it just feels like im destined to end up dying alone-"

- "FIESTA SALSA QUİNCEAÑERA-"

- "why do i even bother"

- drinking cocktails like someones gonna take it away from him if he doesnt inhale it within 10 seconds

- keeps trying to call carmen

- stumbling like hell

- someone needs to tape his mouth shut

- asking the dumbest shit ever to carmen as he texts her

- "would you still love me if i was a muppet,,"

- "would you still be able to control yourself or would you need to be used like a actual muppet??"

- "i dont knwo im durnk"

Bear Hugger

- will not go into the dance circle, ever

- singing sea shanties & suddenly has the personality of a ye olden sailor

- someone convinced him to wax his legs

- confused as shit when he wakes up in the morning

- listening to hondo infodump about sailor moon, intrigued

- will laugh at anything, laughed at Macho mans left eyebrow for a solid 40 minutes

- passed out for a hour after that

- brought a random frog from the nearest pond & named it Buddy, buddy was never seen again after someone threw him out of a window

- ate candle wax, he just did, he somehow stomached it

- sober yet wasted, tapdancing on that line between mentally not present & aware

Aran Ryan

- drunk but has a camera, recording whatever happens

- "guys... this little pocket sized eejit is stuck on the roof... what the fuck.. get him off of there"

- will do anything you dare him to do, got dared to throw someones TV out of the window, the rest is history

- eated a bees

- chased piston hondo with a chair, you havent known true fear until a irishman with a camera & chair is chasing you while yelling like a psychopath while youre talking about star wars lore

- called glass joe "Glasses Jonathan"

- mourned the loss of buddy with bear hugger

- on his hater routine, texting back discos positive messages with mean messages

Soda Popinski

- sober, enjoying the show

- in the dance circle, busting it down

- dehydrated because theres no soda :(

- trying to convince aran ryan to eat a pair of headphones

- gives out water to anyone who appears drunk & asks for a drink telling them its "strong stuff" Just to see them smile & hydrate themselves

- enjoying the karaoke

- also mourning the loss of buddy, thought he was really cool

Bald Bull

- scared of the dance circle

- drunk but his social anxiety is still acting up

- mom i threw up pose when he zones out & stares into the void

- standing in the corner or clinging onto don flamenco because he cant manage crowds well

- getting second hand embarrasment from don flamencos singing

- people keep using the top of his head as a mirror

- clinging onto the nearest extroverts he knows well

- "what if everyone thinks i look like a complete idiot standing in the corner"

- Just really anxious & stressed, he doesnt manage social events well

- needs some silence

Super Macho Man

- thinks hes a good dancer, looks like hes having a stroke, dancing is not for him, especially drunk dancing

- people keep calling him grandpa

- sobbing over any minor event that effects him even slightly negatively

- sobbed over the loss of buddy

- crying over everything

- sobbing on the bathroom floor because he threw up so hard he felt like his soul left him

- hes literally just crying

- tried to do karaoke through his tears, couldnt sing the tears away

Mr Sandman

- pushed into the dance circle, accidentally made a conga line, who knew a conga line full of drunk men could be so fun?

- watching aran ryan eat weird shit & cheering him on because he thinks its funny

- bald bull tried to make a "man me a sand" joke to him, ended up looking like he was having a seizure

- "Mr sandman.. Sand.. The man?.. Sand man.. Uhhh, man him a sand-"

- "bull please lay down"

- enjoying bear huggers sea shanties

- trying to get glass joe off the roof

- fell asleep using a freezer as a pillow

Extra

- narcis showed up to tell everyone that theyre losers & left

- doc louis left early with mac as soon as the alcohol drinking started

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

[johnmalevolent]

ive been like having visions of how arthur feels about human connection and what it has to do w his griefs (parents wife daughter) and this part just fuels it more. like we know that he's not the type to reach out to ppl HE FUCKING MISSED HER FUNERAL. yk. where a lot of ppl would mourn the dead and console the family left behind. but arthur couldnt bear to see his wife go, especially after what he'd done (or lack thereof) to her. meanwhile daniel was seeking for a connection, and its not unreasonable that daniel being there was part of why arthur didn't attend. but arthur never went to see daniel. he spent his time working and left his daughter to tess. after faroe's death he talked with daniel but then drove him away once again. until parker reached out to him. and we know he's persistent, and it took some time for arthur to finally open up. arthur never reached out to people, people reached out to him. bella was the one who first took a liking to him too.

and then we have john. the resident entity living in arthur's eyes. suddenly arthur loses his privacy (and remember the prison - "that's not for you." "what?" "my thoughts.") and their situation leaves arthur very vulnerable but after some time they open up to each other etc you get it you've listened to the podcast. its like. john isn't just persistent, he's nagging for arthur to tell him stuff. parker intended to help so he knew topics he could touch and the ones he shouldn't, but i doubt john had the same purpose.

anyway that wasnt my visions i talked at the beginning. my visions are very loosely based on canon, setting place in an ending (or part of the story maybe) where john gets his own body. i see your "arthur misses john and they're touchy all the time" or the touch starved arthur things and i love every single one of them with my john shaped heart but consider. arthur who has not had much deep connection in his life, who felt wrong to live with his wife or have a family, who keep his fil miles away, who has gotten "more scars in a few months than [he does] in a lifetime." imagine him being scared of touch but desperate for a connection. he doesnt have a lot of experience of physical intimacy but he's able to open up to people (james, parker). being separated from john changes a Lot of how they interact because they are in a way touchy with each other but also not really?? also arthur was the one to bring it up so cheerfully like "maybe you could get a body of your own!" but you know what happened to everyone around arthur who isn't john. they leave. even john came back (REMEMBER THE MINEEEEES. "john :'( you remenber :'( you have your hand back :'( let me shake it :'(" insane cinema). he feels bad for feeling bad that john has his own body. he doesnt want to feel like he wishes john were less free/confined in his mind still but he does wish that john were still with him. despite john being in front of him listening to him just as he always did. SORRY FOR BEING INSANE ON MAIN I NEED TO FUCK OFF TO A DESERTED ISLAND WITH NO INTERNET SOMEWHERE IF YOU WANT THIS BLOG TO BE NORMAL ABOUT MALEVOLENT. WHICH IS NEVER

[femdomliterature]

FemLit 0600 - Getting into a Female Led Relationship is more difficult than it sounds

Credit: https://sanaslave.tumblr.com/ It is because people enter into it with the expectation of a high. They are all fascinated by the fun stuff they will do. Locking his dick, giving her massages, feet worship, the man doing all household chores and laundry, ruined orgasms, humiliation and this list is endless.

But once they enter into it, the couple realizes that it is not as fascinating and easy going as it sounded. The woman might not feel dominant enough or the man might not feel submissive enough. Today I am going to talk about one of the challenges that the couple faces in an FLR, which is “Training your man”.

At first, I thought it is going to be easy, since he had expressed that he wants to be submissive to me and follow my lead. I imagined that I would give him orders and he will simply obey them. I would tell him to change his habits that I hated and he will gladly agree. Afterall, this is how they showed it in the captions and erotica, right?

Well, I was very wrong. Very very wrong.

I overlooked the fact that we both are humans and we need logic and time to change ourselves. I cannot expect him to change just because he has expressed his submissive desires. We even had discussions where he raised his points and tried to convince me why his habits were correct and did not need to be changed. There was a lot of to and fro. I told him that there is nothing wrong with how he does things, its just that I want them to be done in a certain way. As simple as that! As a submissive, my happiness should exceed his comfort zone. For example, he liked to keep his laptop, chargers and headsets near our bed so that these gadgets are easily accessible whereas I liked the gadgets at their proper place. If needed, he can fetch those gadgets, use them and then again keep them at their place. He gave me arguments that it is more comfortable and easier if the things are in an “arm’s reach” but I would prefer cleanliness and tidiness to comfort.

I also read articles about “How to train your slave” and guess what I found – Edge him, ruin his orgasm, lock his dick, prostate milking, spank him, etc. After seeing these articles, I was like – How is this even training? I want my slave to be a better submissive for me and this is what is being suggested? These articles were surely written by a man!

Well, here I am giving a list of things you can do to “Train your man to be a better slave” –

Manners and habits – Teach him the manners and habits that you expect from him and dont compromise. Men do have certain habits that differ from us women. For example, they tend to keep the wet towel on the bed after bathing.  Men tend to keep the “gym shoes” outside the shoe rack so that they are easily accessible. Men might not leave the kitchen tidy after cooking or they might procrastinate your orders till the very end.

You need to let your man know your expectations very clearly and then point out whenever he fails to meet them. This requires patience. You might, at times, feel that it is useless to try to teach him because he never listens. But if he’s a good submissive, deep inside he wants to be the perfect slave and will appreciate your efforts for training him.

Service – Your man is your butler/servsnt/maid in a Female Led Relationship. Get him to do things that make your life easier. A dominaht woman should not "have" to do anything she doesnt want to. For example, I had to go to a friend’s home for party and sleepover. I had my slave help me with almost everything. I told him to take out my suitcase from the storage. Clean it. Iron my clothes. I tried my clothes after ironing so he had to fold them again and kept them in the suitcase. I told him to clean my heels. Paint my nails. Charge my phone and so on.

The point is to delegate whatever you can. In the begining allow him very little free time. You want every waking minute concentrating on you, your needs etc. In time you can allow him more. Youll find by then he'd rather forgoe any "me time". At first, his service might not be satisfactory. Just make sure to give feedback and continue improving his service and skills. Soon enough, you will realize that his presence is imperative for your comfort. You would need your butler for everything and you will realize how much he is actually making your life easier. I struggled with guilt in the beginnig. Belive me that fades fast. Reassure yourself he craves service and maje the most of it.

Praise him – Praising him boosts his confidence and motivates him to continue making efforts for you. He knows when he has been a good slave but getting this recognition from you will boost his morale.

Demonstrate – You might need to demonstrate certain things while training him. You might need to show him how you prefer certain things to be done and the quality of work you are expecting from him. For example, you might have a preference for how sheets should be done while making the bed, or you might like the kitchen crockery to be organized in a certain manner.

Whatever it is, do not assume that he knows what to do when you are ordering him. Also, tell him that he should come and ask you if he has any confusion regarding the stuff to avoid duplication of efforts.

Practice – Practice makes a (submissive) man perfect. Do not forget that your slave is a human. He would need time to be good at things, especially if they are women-specific. We women have been painting our nails since our childhood but who would have imagined that my slave would take almost a month to become good at polishing my nails?

He did ruin it many times. I had to be patient. Nails that could have been done in 10 minutes took 20-25 minutes, that too with the finishing that did not meet my expectations. Sometimes I had to make the corrections myself later on. Fast forward 5 months, I went to a salon to get my eyebrows done and the woman doing my eyebrows said “Mam, your nails are looking beautiful, did you get them done at our salon?” I couldn’t have been more proud of my slave. (and myself)

Practice is the key.

Specifics – The details that he notices might not be the details that I notice. He might be feeling proud that he has done a fabulous job but I might spot something that would make his efforts seem incomplete. For example, if he’s dusting the dressing table but not keeping my stuff back the way it was, I might not even recognize his efforts because for me the task has not been completely done. It is incomplete.

Or, if he cleans my shoes but does keep the duster back at it’s place, the service is incomplete.

I had to tell him the specifics that I notice. I had to teach him to look at the things from my perspective. This is something that will continue forever because I am also a human and I will change as well. But I make sure that I am communicating properly and he is aware about how to make me happy.

Sexual training – Every woman is different and her sexual preferences are different. If you will not communicate what you want, you might not get what you want. Train him sexually. Tell him the speed you like, the angle you like, the thrusts you like. Teach him how you like oral sex to be. You can even implement certain gestures like, if his head is between your legs and you squeeze his head, it means he needs to slow down.

Sexual communication might seem unimportant but it dramatically helps to improve the sex life.

Bait – Now comes the last point. Bait him. Use your femininity to control him. Practice to use your womanhood to your advantage. He is not just a slave to your Dominance, he is a slave to your looks, your dirty talks and your body. Tease and deny him to keep him emotionally charged up. Control his orgasms and use his fantasies to get him to do what you want. This is one of the most important tools along with emasulation.

Emasculation. - with teasing/orgasm denial this is an amazing tool to train a man. When he feels less "manly" he becomes more pliable to your dominance. It strips his mske ego away. Some think this means feminization but thsts not it. Its stripping him of the patriarchy and replacing with matriarchy. Think of dates. A man takes a woman out. Pays ect. But when we go out. I take him. I pay, even though it may be from his wages. But the money is all mine anyway.

I take my man out for a dinner date. When the waiter comes to take your order, I choose what he will be having, what he will be drinking and I give all the orders to the waiter. I don’t let him speak.

(I am not a fan of promoting kinks for maintaining your Dominion. A true submissive man should be a slave to you even in the absence of kinks but kinks can boost his morale.)

Well, I believe you would have got an idea about how to train your man. It is far more than you would expect. It might seem tedious. Just keep your communication clear.

In the end, I promise it will prove to be worth it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypasta of you choice x a reader that look like Clyde from Pastra?

(WHY AM I SO ANXIOUS REQUESTING😰)

Laughing Jack, Slenderman, and Eyeless Jack x reader who looks like Clyde (pastra)!

no need to be anxious friend! this is a no judgement zone and theres nothing wrong requesting for a reader with certain physical traits! this does remind me to get back into pastras videos, i remember watching some of them a few months back and really enjoying them! might listen to them while im working on art tonight... looking at refs and glancing at character wikis i didnt know clyde was their own character :0 naturally, as per the request, im going to only focus on looks and stuff !!

SLENDERMAN:

i think between the three he is the least phased by your ghoulish looks. i mean this man has been around for lord knows how long, take into account the admins personal hcs of how slenderman came to exist in universe, hes seen his fair share of monsters and demons. though he is at least a little curious in what you are exactly, and takes to observing you... which leads to you noticing him and coming into contact with him. not much to be said other in the two of you having this mutual understanding that youre both your own beasts in this weird world... honestly a wholesome friendship all things considered, i think, since you guys tend to bond over your funky characteristics. bonus if youre also a hermit who doesnt interact much with humans so when one of you learn something new you guys just. talk about it

LAUGHING JACK:

oh i just know he messes with your horns and tentacles. has probably tried to fix your eyes if theyre also a little off like clydes. literally just him putting his fingers in your face and. trying to shift them around. obviously, it doesnt do anything but it doesnt stop him. but also i just think laughing jack doesnt have a total understanding of personal space, especially in the beginning. what being isolated and shown a bunch of genuinely fucked stuff does to a mf/j... probably twirls some of your tentacles in between his fingers when hes bored and youre nearby... has tried to throw rings and shit on your horns, will cheer if he lands one. you guys have probably accidentally gotten tangled up in one anothers arms at least once, for one reason or another

EYELESS JACK:

oooo okay this one is going to be interesting. because in my au/hc/whatever eyeless jack was originally a normal person who got dragged into this human sacrifice, he gets infected by this demonic curse that was created by zalgo, and is slowly morphing into this monster... would jack be aggressive to you in the beginning? sure he knows its not YOURE fault, but... i dont know how to word it, and i dont think he would be able to know how to word it. his life was snatched away from him due to the demon stuff, and youre a demon and it serves as a reminder, and. its unfair, and he does admit that when you guys actually start to foster a relationship... hmm... definitely a really slow burn, and i doubt you guys would end up in a romantic relationship.... oooooo bonus angst (and mayhaps fluff) what if youre in a similar situation as him and you guys bond over it

hes short as hell so your help with reaching stuff is very much appreciated... though as for your actual looks i dont think there would be much thought thanks to jack himself feeling that he has no place to speak anymore, you know shrugs

[the-kipsabian]

Kip Sabian.

Please go off.

anon i respect you so much for this but i hope you know what you have just done LMAO

tl;dr - hes absolutely perfect in every way possible. love of my life

hes just.. so innovative. his character work is absolutely fucking masterful, no matter which one it is. all of them are so delightfully different from one another but you can still see the same man behind all of them and thats just talking about the range of the character work and the clear work and effort he puts into everything he does, be it just the characters themselves, the promos, in-ring work, anything. he always goes all out, hes creative as hell with them (name me one other person that gets over with a box on their head i dare you) and it truly shows how loving and passionate he is about this whole wrestling thing and that he just absolutely gets it. also he just has fun with it and it shows. anything from cocky indie superbad to coward best husband superbad to boxman to whatever the cringe failure era was lmao and now the sex idol. he just does it all and he does it flawlessly and i will throw hands with tk if he doesnt capitalize on this man soon i sWEAR TO GODDAMN

his in-ring work is incredibly good. watch literally any sequence hes ever had with orange cassidy and you see what i mean. hes improved from that too (since the last one of those was a quite long while ago now), he can hang with pretty much anyone. i like it the way he says it himself, he can literally make anyone look good and no one has ever complained about having to work with him in the ring. which says a lot about how good and talented he is imo. he can do it all, be it more grounded moves or recently hes been doing a lot more jumps and top rope moves which! exciting!! cause it just adds to his arsenal and shows off that flexibility even more and its just so insanely good. like fuck man if you can get someone who can hang one-on-one with someone like vikingo like he did a few weeks back, thats a fucking keeper. dont you dare forget that

im not gonna take this moment to talk about his promo stuff cause i will literally be here forever. watch this and get back to me later about why im right that hes incredible at this shit with the tone and again character work and just overall presentation. even if its now a bit more comedic with the sex idol, its still an absolute delight. also i could listen to him talk forever, he has my favorite voice in the entire world and his accent is delicious and good fucking lord

PRESENTATION. hes just really fucking hot okay. i thought he was cute before but my god. the hair, no matter the version, on point. the eyeliner, gorgeous. nail polish, good lord (he needs to bring it back tbh its been a while). the outfits, holy shit i cant say words. i have done an extensive gear study to show how truly insane he makes me about his looks, not to mention the goddamn casual fits/suit game. jesus take the wheel. his smile is fucking out of his world and the laugh lines he gets are maybe my favorite feature on any human ever. hes fucking delicious and what of it

also arms. i dont think i need to say anything more i have also turned into a back admirer girlie (gn) because of him so like. uuuuuh

AND THEN. hes just a fucking delightful human being in general. is he stupid and cringey? yes, but arent we all. it just shows how human he is. just like us. ive so many times wondered how if we lived on slightly different timelines, we might have genuinely been friends cause he reminds me so much of guys of the same age that i know and im friends with. like we would have meshed pretty well together if circumstances were different lmao. that just shows me how genuine he is tbh. hes just fucking nice, hes very supportive, tries his best to be a good ally (i have both seen this and have first hand experience on it so dont @ me saying im wrong or its performative, i have way too many cases to prove that hes fr fr) and.. yeah. ive never heard anyone that actually knows him say anything bad about him. he has his flaws, obviously, cause nobodys perfect, but he makes up for it with what ridiculously good he has in him. this is a man with so much potential and love to give to the world both in his personal and professional lives and hes just needs his chance to shine so fucking badly, in all areas of life

im gonna stop now before i get too emotional but. yeah. he means fucking everything to me 💜💜

[jar-of-maise]

what's up my dears or dearly detested, it's hc time

we're going to focus on love languages with my fav sibling trio today bc i said so

LYNEY:

words of affirmation, physical touch

he has to be a words of affirmation guy fs

but tbh i feel like he'd also try to shy away from it? esp if he's serious (is that possible? well we'll never know) since he has lied...before...and we all know how well detail omission went

so probably acts of service, making you smile, uhhhhhh yeahhhh

probably fond of pet names

will be touchy

i can see him doing pda, not excessively but hes not against it

probably likes hugs? but like the more i think about it the more im not sure about him with physical touch (see Lynette's for more detail) but i think he'd be a cuddle bug

why's this the shortest

oh lyney my poor sweet dear

he gets tired of life, so you're a welcome escape

would lie on your lap

will hold hands with you

would dream of a happy future with you

dude roasts his little brother about still liking fairy tales and pulls this bs smh

honestly as insecure as freminet - just shows it differently

i think all three siblings are traumatised (who could've guessed?)

i feel like he'd pull some very obnoxious french jokes

he likes making you laugh, smile, happy

he's not sunshine he's a solar eclipse

and you my dear, are the stars that surround his entirety

like a planet orbiting him ceaselessly

i dont actually know what that means but apparently it's an actual thing

oh the inherent romanticism of celestial imagery

yeah that's also my tag what about it

i think, though, that lyney can use his charms to very aptly flirt with you

why?

exhibit A: the rainbow rose (real simps know what i'm talking about)

gets lynette to vibe check you, and then her cats, and then freminet (pers honorary judge)

performs exclusive magic shows for you

uh you can let immagination decide what kind of exclusive and magic you want in those

LYNETTE

acts of service, quality time

acts of service girlie fs

she's creepily observant in a good way but like, she also probably accidentally nearly oversteps some boundaries

"Hello Lynette!"

"Hi here's some things for you"

and she hands you a crap ton of stuff that you probably didn't even know you wanted yet

girl just wants the best for you

oh yeah if you're a physical touch person, you might not be overly pleased bc i headcanon her as physically repulsed by romantic gestures and gooey affection (fanfic writers, that's fuel for how she'd react to lyney being in a relationship)

and the reason i hc this is bc of her past, like you can't convince me lynette wasn't traumatised by that noble person

but while she isn't expressive with touch or words, she is a very good listener!

gl if you're allergic to cats too bc she'd def introduce you to them

(if you pass their vibe check you're all good, if not...uh...)

family is very important too so if you pass their vibe check well put that on a resume bc you are impressive

yes she's a gift giver

but i also think that she'd give you some...strange gifts

like you know those cats that bring like dead fish and mice back to their owners? yeah she'd probably do the same honestly...

hopefully not with mice corpses and whatnot

dont worry, she can magic them out of existence if you wish

just like she can to anyone who wrongs you-

shes the best though honestly, very supportive

bonus points if you join in and riff off her robot lingo though that'd honestly be green flag, marriage behaviour (maybe not that last bit but yk)

you probably encourage lyney to deep dive into his antics, much to lynette's fustration

she now babysits not one, two but three toddlers full time

but you probably also bring freminet out of his shell

she loves you for that so you're forgiven

the type to relentlessly tickle you

doesnt take anything serious but takes pillow fights seriously when it counts

she loves dessert and tea a bit more than you

sorry

but she's happy to share <3

FREMINET

quality time, gift giving

oh my god words cannot describe how excited i am for this particular hc

so yeah, he has a voiceline about making penguins for kids

PEOPLE HED MAKE YOU LITTLE PENGUINS

totally gonna make your penguin twin with Pers tho

god thats so cute whys the standard so high

also he's another not-expressive-with-words person so uh, yeah expect muchas time spent together (or not...bc he's always deep sea diving) either way! it's always quality

he is (very obviously) insecure so give him plently of love and affection (or ELSE-)

im still crying over matching penguins, is that juts me

he'd fix your broken machines for you as a love language

bonus points if you like, can, or want to learn how diving tho it's probably a double edged sword right, bc like, on one hand yall can hang out underwater and who needs aquarium dates when you can BE in the sea

but on the other hand, you now have access to his vulnerable and safe space

yeah you better treat him right or else

he'd probably get carried away with his mechanical stuff and make you a crap ton of toys

maybe not the cuddly kind either so js be prepared for that

god hes such a bean tho

an anxiety bean

btw, he very much believes in fairy tales and what not, so do us all a favour and believe in the magic with him

OR ELSE

ik i say that a lot

i feel like-

i dont actually know i forgot, someone messaged me and i lost my train of thought

ANYWAYS

just freminet being the softest, cutest boy

[gingersp1ce547]

ok it’s jojoever i have brainrot now i need to assign stands to every qsmp eggs

ramon : Killer Queen - bombs + cat what more do i need to say

Chayanne : Pearl Jam - Just making extremely good food

Tallulah : Hermit Purple - Thorns design that reminds of Rose

Leo : Purple Haze - Color matches + rabid dog vibes

Sunny : Emerald green - using jewels to fight is perfect for her

Empanada : Paisley Park - don’t have an explanation, em just gives me yasuho vibes

Pepito : Bohemian Rhapsody - go make spider-man real king

Dapper : Gold experience - gruesomely killing your enemies with your knowledge of living creatures is such a dapper thing

Pomme : Sex Pistols - go my little sniper queen

Richas : Heaven’s door - Perfect for an artist with a taste for fofoca

Dude i saw the word sex pistols in the context of stands my brain went “part 5? PART 5!” Like a dog hearing its name being called so im more than happy to brain rot with you bout all of this!

-killer queen is so perfect for ramon. If he had it during the election arc, fit would have to have stopped him form making foolish a speck of ash on the floor after he arrested tazercraft

-chays fits so well from a symbolic, “stands are a reflection of ones soul” perspective too. Like even though he’s a warrior, at heart he the main thing he cares about is taking care of his family though both physical protection and just general wellbeing. Such a good pick for him

-Hermit purple is such a good pick with tallulah. Im imagining phil sighing as he pulls out another camera for her to destroy before they eventually start having super cheap ones on hand for that exact purpose

-Listen i see purple haze for leo, i get it i can see the vision. But my fugo loving brain refuses to let go of what purple haze means for him as a stand symbolically and wants to give it to q!cellbit EVEN THOUGH WERE ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE EGGS.

Anyways in context of only assigning stands to the eggs 100% i think she should get out purple haze, but if were talking about everyone i also think born this way would be a really good fit for her and i cant quite explain why outside of the vibes just mathcing in my head

-sunny would so be besties with emerald green. Like tubbo would have to not only give sunny stuff but also it. I can totally see her giving it a nickname and its own room and stuff

-Your so right about empanda having yasuho vibes. Something about the crypticness of the power of paisley park coupled with all the shit both the characters have been though mashes really well together

- Bohemian rhapsody is so fucking funny for pepito. Especially because like idk if youve ever read any jojo’s fanfics but theirs this really good one called chimera were long story short the ascended version of dio from eyes over heaven goes to another universe and just fucks with the dio their by basically forcing him on a part jumping self-betterment arc? Anyways during it the author had the reason ungalo’s life became so shit was because he accidentally used his stand to make the story of holes come true with him acting as the main character and now every tine i think about that stand i cant not think of that.

But anyways him and roier would abuse the fuck out of his stand and it would in fact be hilarious

-As a giorno lover, dapper is so giorno coded. He would be so fucking unstoppable with that stand even without it being its requiem version. I can so see him using it to fuck with his dad for funnsies too.

-Pomme would be so sweet to the pistols too, she would make sure they get the best treats. I think at first she would struggle with keeping them in line but with etoiles help she would be the perfect balance of stern and sweet.

-richas with heavens door would be the absolute worst. Like the biggest menace ever. He would use it on his parents to make it so they could never give him a bath again and then they would have to find a work around for what doesnt count as bath but still technically got him clean until their able to convince him to reverse it.

[webginz]

god i hate HATE when i bring up something i dont like and someone goes "well i dont like when you do x but i dont complain about it" WHAT?!?!? JUST TELL ME! i dont get it? if you dont like when i do or say certain things, just tell me and ill stop doing it! why do these things only get brought up when i ask for something???

rant/vent about my dad ahead, sorry

i told my parents i hate how everytime we eat lunch together, it turns into talk about politics and political arguments. i just want to enjoy some time with them talking about something happy. my dad got mad at me and told me he hates when i talk about my nerdy interests with him. THEN WHY DO YOU LISTEN AND ENGAGE WITH ME? WHY DONT YOU JUST SAY "HEY CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE" BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD HE NEVER HAS.

i dont talk about my nerdy interests that often, especially not when its the three of us and we have limited time together (like lunch breaks) so i dont know why he brought that up specifically!! i just wanna talk about regular small talk or like relevant to us stuff! his comment felt so random and mean for no reason!!!!

i listen to him tell me about the youtube videos he likes, star trek, and the matrix and other stuff like that even if i have little to no interest in it!!! why did he wait to tell me he doesnt care about what i have to say when i brought up the ONE thing id rather not talk about?

its like i can never have any sort of boundaries or pushback with him!!! this whole thing might seem stupid but it really hurt my feelings. me and my dad are both nerds and thats how weve bonded my whole life. and now he says he just put up with it and *i* couldnt tell he didnt care? like its my fault because im bad at picking up on social cues?? JUST SAY SOMETHING!!!!

its like how if i bring up how hell react badly to certain things, or how he gets angry easily,he says stuff like "oh so i just cant do anything at all?" "im just the worst dad in the world arent i?" it makes me FREAK OUT! how am i supposed to respond to that?!?

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ WVBA As Really Specific Highschool Stereotypes ☆

Had to stop staring into the void for this, thats when you know its important, drug use tw!!

Glass Joe

- nerd, shoved in the lockers

- keeps having his lunch money stolen

- getting his shit wrecked on a daily basis

- actually studies for the exams & listens to the class LIKE A NERD

- gets paid to do homework

- when exam season comes up suddenly no one has shoved him into a locker & loves him

- will let anyone copy his homework

Von Kaiser

- huge SNITCH. Also cannot keep a secret

- people also wreck him daily because he keeps telling the teachers whos skipping class or not, cant speak if you have your teeth in your throat and are gonna have another one added if you tell the english teacher that someone is leaving school to go party

- will not let you copy off his homework, people hate him wayyyy more because of that

- getting his stuff stolen on a daily basis

Disco Kid

- loud popular boy but make it tolerable + add the ability to beat up people and dance skills

- really nice & will stand up for Joe

- secretly listening to music in class, whoever snitches on him is getting boiled alive

- killing it at prom, had no one to take other than his dancing skills

- has a few classes he actually bothers for + is naturally good at, the rest is barely passing

King Hippo

- really quiet smart kid, also loved by the class since he doesnt mind anything as long as you dont kick his dog & steal his money

- try to use him as a punchline for a joke and he'll turn you into a human pancake

- wont let you copy off for homework but makes you notes for cheating instead, bother for the things that actually matter please thank you

Piston Hondo

- huge nerd but people actually respect him because he doesnt snitch & lets you copy off his homework, also knows how to kick ass so thats a plus

- keeps secrets really well, mainly because he keeps forgetting them

- will help you study for exams & let you copy off him during the exams, understands if you dont want to bother

- academic validation is kicking his ass, Marina And The Diamonds are kicking him in the feels (me too hondo, me too)

- burnout is gonna hit him like a bullet train

- is struggling to live laugh love out of this

Don Flamenco

- that one dude in the hall making out in the hallway with his girlfriend carmen at 8 AM in the morning that you accidentally made eye contact with

- will not shut up about carmen, mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell? That reminds him of how carmen gives him the power to go on

- copying off others for the exam

- calling carmen dumb petnames, dude what is "my pookie wookie scrumptious silly goofy romantic princess queen wife, light of my life, sun to the earth" what do you mean by that, is she a boss fight or something, is she a fucking dictator

- break up hit him in the nuts so hard he got neutered

- was planning on going to prom with carmen, got dumped & had to sit in the rain, holding a boquet of flowers with a "go to prom with me" sign, movie style, while sobbing

Bear Hugger

- stoner dude skipping class in the bathroom smoking a huge joint, thankfully doesnt hog the stalls

- barely passing, still afloat thanks to hondo

- will let you smoke with him, dont hog the joint please

- will let you copy off his homework that he also copied off from don flamenco that copied off from hondo that he copied off from Wikipedia, its like a academic version of telephone

- parties hard, has really good hangover cures if you need any

- really good to be around actually

- blasting himself with axe deodorant, it doesnt cover up the smell trust me

Great Tiger

- cheating during exams, look at him go, isnt it neat?

- using his clones to beat up people & make money from the homework doing business

- doesnt talk much other than to advertise his "let me do your homework bbg" business

- willing to beat up teachers for high grades, wrecked a teacher for giving hondo a low grade & refusing to raise it like.. come on he does his homework & isnt smoking a huge joint in the bathroom

- snitch but never caught in the act, blaming it on kaiser

-tried to make one of his go to school but it failed because real people dont go through the seat while trying to sit

Aran Ryan

- skipping constantly & doesnt show up for some months, has bull beat teachers for attendance stuff

- smoking with bear hugger in the stalls, hogging the stalls sadly

- one of the people shoving others in the lockers

- will do your homework in the worst way possible, has gotten his ass kicked because of that

- keeps stealing teachers stuff

Soda Popinski

- also in the stalls, smoking, looking out for teachers, convincing teachers to not lower grades

- social chameleon, both a bully & kind person, also a top student & bottom of the class

- lifesaver, homework unfinished? Copy off his, need someone to copy off in the exam? Sit next to him, teacher gave you a low grade? Tell him who did it & he'll have it raised through the power of threats, charisma & a steel chair

- steals Joes lunch money & secretly returns it because he isnt that horrid

Bald Bull

- also smoking in the stalls, do not snitch on him or he'll also smoke you

- suspiciously high grades thanks to soda

- beating up teachers for cash, give him 200 bucks & a bat and your least favorite is going to get their shit wrecked, thank him later

- fights people on a daily basis

- shows up three times a week, he just parties the other days, beating teachers for anyone who feels like not attending the same way like him

- copying off others work like a machine, especially whenever a teacher is coming

- naturally good at math, thats his biggest flex

Super Macho Man

- stereotypical american movie bully with the classic jacket, literally.

- shoving Joe into lockers & stealing his money with soda popinski

- calls people nerd unironically

- also getting bullied lmaoo

- thinks hes cool enough to hang out in the stalls with the weed smokers™ tried to snitch on them & got his face stuffed into a toilet

- "hey nerd, this is a no losers turf, guess what? You arent allowed!" Then he gets thrown out of a window

Mr Sandman

- really quiet & minds his business, sometimes hangs out in the stalls with the weed smokers™

- good grades & lets you copy off his homework

- Macho man tried to steal his money once, he ended up hospitalized

- Just beats kaiser once in a while when he snitches

- party in the weekend, study in the weekday

- if anything messes up his routine it'll piss him off greatly