#queer consciousness

[terrantechnocrat]

I would join a queer collective consciousness.

Actually, I'll write that into something.

In the near to mid-far future the fags have gone from commune to polycule to mind merging.

People are okay with it because being assimilated is profoundly intimate and also maybe erotic. A decision not taken lightly.

[brainrotcharacters]

wade's undiagnosed ADHD (giggling everytime Logan stabs him) is only ever matched by Logan's undiagnosed autism (stabbing Wade with his claws when he's overstimulated)

[plounce]

why was bashir a closeted homosexual in the 23rd century? like dude it's fine you can relax. actually wait the tense here is kinda funny. i used past tense because ds9 is from the 90s and i watched it in 2021 so in both cases it's from the past in my view. but when talking about a text you speak in the present: why IS bashir a closeted homosexual in the 23rd century? but the statement is half about how ds9 takes place in the scifi future: why WILL bashir be a closeted homosexual in the 23rd century?

[prettysweetprettysweet]

"Why are you smiling? Did I not get it all off?"

Cherry Magic (Thailand) | Season 1 Episode 4

[aroaceleovaldez]

i still find it very fun that technically Sadie Kane (and Walt and Anubis) is(/are) the first queer Riordanverse character(s), because Serpent’s Shadow came out before House of Hades and so Sadie being in a canon polyamorous relationship happened before Nico was confirmed to be gay, but nobody read TKC so nobody knows about this

[doveboycreature]

I wanna get to the point where I like don’t really get horny much in a physical way but I enjoy sex anyway for like the physical sensation but primarily like as a way to please my partner. Sort of in a free use kind of way, but not really in an any time any place sort of way. I want it to simply to not be a factor whether I want it or not. If they want to give me an orgasm, it’s only because they want to see how i react. Maybe some days they‘re angry or annoyed about something else, overwhelmed and wanting quiet, coming home and throwing me on the bed without a word, hitting me when I whimper or cry out. Maybe some days they don’t want sex, they just want to beat me and leave me bloody on the floor. Whatever it is, I‘ll take it. I like the attention, I need their approval. I live for the crumbs of affection in between all the pain, they days where they actually do want to touch me gently. It gives me something to work for, learning the game of predicting their moods and anticipating their needs so I can stay useful. And im not afraid, im really not, because i know despite everything, they still love me. I think.

[annabelle--cane]

I respect the labor it has always taken to push queer stories to anywhere approaching the mainstream and I appreciate that all of these works have their merits and will have been extremely meaningful to people but sometimes I look back at the state of queer media in the late 2000s/early 2010s and I briefly see into hell

[your-subby-creature]

I love walking around my house topless. Just tits out in a boy way. Boytits out time, if you will.

[menacewithawolfcut]

gender is a performance, but i have never been to a single acting class (a long rant/stream-of-consciousness piece)

.

i am nothing and multiple things at once, changing depending on the context of interactions with my environment

no single word is able to fully describe my essence

i am no just a man, i am no just a woman, i am no just something else

my feeling of innate self is directly tied to my performance and how satisfied i feel performing

because none of us lives in a vacuum, and if i were in a vacuum, just by myself i am nothing, because then the performance does not serve its purpose, because it is sociological in its nature

however, there are certain things about this performance i do enjoy, or at least i think i might enjoy if i try, just for the sake of it, or, on the contrary, there are things i do not like and i feel rather repulsed by them

sometimes i close my eyes and try imagine myself being one these characters

a tired sailor, with a ragged face and a trimmed beard, smoking tobacco out of his pipe and taking a shot of whiskey, looking longingly into the distance, thinking of his wife

a stay-at-home wife, weaving threads, foraging for mushrooms and berries in the nearby forest, walking through a farmer’s market with a beautiful woven basket in her hand, and gently fixing her hair as she leans in to take a better look at the food sold there

a young ambitious student who also writes poetry and who also experiences secret homoerotic yearning towards his fellow male comrade from his university

a joan of arc-like knight, skilled and fierce in battle, a gentle lover of a woman they are fond of

i like all of these characters a lot. i would love to play these roles. i think they would feel like those clothes which fit you perfectly and you feel so confident going out in the world with them on

despite loving the idea of „wearing” a very gendered „costume”, there are some gendered things i do not like

i almost flinch every time someone calls me a woman or addresses me by she/her, i feel much more comfortable when perceived masculine or neutrally, however it does not feel complete or fully accurate all the time either

as for my body, i despise my voice and my chest almost at all times and contexts, sometimes to point it is physically painful

i feel imprisoned within my mortal flesh and by the way i am perceived by everyone around me because of it

when i was a bit younger and was still living in my home country, i was being gendered as male far more often, and even still sometimes strangers from my diaspora gender me as male, but now i am almost always being „ma’am”-ed by locals, which a bit confuses me, since the cultural differences are not supposed to be too vast in my case, and also when i look at myself in the mirror i cannot understand what apart from my voice makes me so „clockable”

eventually, i am just a consciousness within a body that tries to present itself in a way that it feels most comfortable at the moment, sometimes feeling more „masculine”, sometimes more „feminine”, sometimes „somewhere in between”, without it necessarily making me feel „fully like a a man” or „fully like a woman”, but also if i could have chosen, i would prefer to have a „cis male” body as a „shell” containing my mind, or the „canvas”, for expressing myself more accurately to the outer world

[fever-pitches]

There's something so visceral about The Blue Eyed Samurai that really resonated with my identity as someone non-binary, aromantic and asexual.

It feels very genuine in its expression of the experience of a purpose outside romance and love, despite how much everyone insists those are the only options.

Allowing their assigned gender to dictate their life experience is just not an option.

A moment, brief and bitter, where Mizu forces themself to play the role they was born into and trying to find their peace in it, even succeeding in those momentary joys.

But as always, those moments are tainted by dissatisfaction, knowing that that life, that future was not made for them. Or rather they were not made for it.

No room for love or romance, no craving for power or money.

In the moments where carnal instincts could take precedence they will turn their head away as many times as it takes.

They will find their peace in nature, in the sound of crashing waves and soft breezes, make physical contact only when it truly matters. Mizu will never waver. They will never look back.

My body will not dictate the life I choose to lead. It will not sway me from my purpose. I see myself in that.

[heavenintheclouds]

I remember that time we're I was watching a reel on Instagram where the person was doing an animation with some sound , so basically it was telling in a joke how their sexuality changed to pansexual to aroace and I was like "oh no that can't happen to me" and I swear to God there was a voice in the back of my mind or a feeling that was saying "well that's totally false cause you actually are" and I didn't want to accept that I was aromantic because I was like my partner at the time loved me so you can't be that , but they were time like okay I should tell them that i'm aro but didn't do until the time we broke up when we both came out to each other 🧍

Another thing , there was time when I look back at my memories those "crushes" where my mind was like "hmm are you sure those were real crushes?" And I was like ofc they are real , and I was like but you choose them but since I was in big denial...

Just to say if yourself is telling something to you , listen to it.

[twoinoneflesh]

I must be feral. Something about him today just seems more delicious, more tempting than usual. I watch from my usual hiding spot, porthole and all.

The way his jeans hug in all the right places, emphasizing the ass you’d never know he has because he hides it every other day of the week. I just can’t put my finger on it, why he tugs at my feelings and lust in all the right places too, but at all the wrong times.

You’d think by now we’d have kissed— but no. Instead I am wrapped up completely inside of my head, tumbling over my feet, loving and hating every second of the game. A game is all it is. One second they ignore me so hard my head hurts and I hate myself and feel unlovable, ostracized. The next they give me more attention than they’ve ever given me and I still long for more. Greedy. For something that means nothing. The longing will kill me if I let it, and I will. The only thing I want but can’t have, an apparition, compelling but never mine. A trick of my mind, a spell of his to keep me pleased. Docile. So weak, easily driven, wishing I could have more and knowing it’s so close but that he will never give it to me.

I think we fear each other. I think we fear the cliche way mountains seem to part and the room suddenly clears when we connect in that very clear, very close way but we are always far when it happens. I know we fear each other. I think of what might happen when he reads what I think, will he know it’s him? Better yet— will he care? So self righteous in my knowledge of his interest in me, but so insecure when it comes to the delivery. I won’t wait for him forever. In fact, not at all. I’ve waited longer than he deserves, and I am like the unused nightstand, stale 5 week old glass of water, condom and candy wrappers from a past life and all. I’m discarded, forgotten like the toys you never like at the bottom of the drawer, no longer the utilitarian favorite I long to be. I am not in heavy rotation, I’m the last record you want to play. I’m the vhs tape in your storage unit begging to be popped in, played, and rewound in the true nature of my purpose. Molding. Waiting for the precious connection that tape cleaner and my nose have better than tape cleaner and an actual tape.

He teases my need to feel needed, my need to feel noticed. The redirect or the blatant lie to quell my obvious desire to share our worlds with each other. His enthusiasm for me is something I fear, because I fear it is not real. I’m convinced it isn’t.

My effervescent heart. It burbles like a dying man’s last breath, choking on his own blood. It feels that way too, when I feel love. Something I do not think I was meant to feel. A revelation my body and mind are not ready for.

[lifenconcepts]

Oh I’m utterly fascinated by how people of the past expressed the unexplainable through art and poetry, turning their turmoil from being alone and misunderstood into something beautiful that all may see.

Honestly a shame that people now just whine about not enough flags to represent them when at some point in the past many individuals would not even know how to justify what they were feeling nor find people alike, and to atleast find comfort in the solitude escaped through music and literature, fanaticising about worlds where such a thing was normalised or turning themselves into a beast, to share with the world the level of their inner workings.

[angstics]

well i was thinking about how well “in the face of extermination say fuck you” fits in with kids from yesterday, a never ending song about love at the end of the world. i was also thinking about how queer people instantly identified with it. when i saw the video, i hadnt seen any comments but i understood and it made me burst into tears. the sentiment is what i get from a lot of their music — foundations, boy division, famous last words, skylines, helena, venom, among others — find the will to live by being angry about all the shit that wants to kill you. escape apathy. anger is to care and to care is to do something. you dont need the higher ground. say fuck you 🖕

[kiwisandpearls]

the statements “platonic relationships should not be undervalued” and “it’s ok to ship wlw ships and mlm ships even if the characters involved have no canonical romantic interest in each other” are not mutual exclusive.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

hot take maybe but the “gays can’t do math” meme is literally just the combination of the two harmful stereotypes “gay = feminine” and “feminine = can’t do math” and it bothers me that people are so willing to brush it off as a joke