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serverusslaype · 11 months

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Shameless, pt. 13

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

OMG HEYYY!!!!!!! GUESS WHO'S BACK? IT'S ME!!

how are you all?? i hope you're all doing well. this has to be the fastest 12,000+ words i've ever written LMAOO. my god. this is the longest smut i've written yet. hopefully it's as good as i think it is... humble me <3 (i am kinda proud tho i won't lie eh)

so i listened to multiple different songs for this part lol. it ranged from j.cole, adele, noah kahan (I LOVE THIS GUY, please check out 'the view between villages extended version', it's my new obsession), rihanna, the weeknd, sam fender. like what. what a rollercoaster fam. ok, anyway, let me shut up!!

please enjoy this as much as i did writing it!! i'm so glad to be posting it finally - sorry it's like 2 hours after i said i would!! thank you so so much for reading and all your comments, likes & reblogs. i know i say this every time but i truly mean it. it means a lot to me. <3

warnings: smut, light choking, fluff, arguing, mention of adultery, MINORS DNI !

again, i've marked where the smut begins and ends with a big red *

VAMOS!!

Ben's fingers curled around his wand as his opposing hand reached up to pull his jacket over his head, protecting it from the rain that was starting to pour from above. He'd found himself outside your greenhouse, curiosity and perhaps a hint of suspicion twisting in his gut. After you'd mentioned that you were having a meeting with Professor Lupin after dinner, Ben knew this was the perfect opportunity. Ever since he saw you and Snape during your class, something just didn't sit right with him. He didn't like the way you were so friendly with that miserable git, nor the way he had his eyes glued to you like you were the only person in the room. Since when was Snape nice to people, especially Hufflepuffs like you? Surely, you'd be someone he despised. Everyone knew that Hufflepuffs weren't exactly the strongest, nor the most ambitious people.

So why did Snape seem to let you slide past his cold exterior?

Ben held his wand a few centimetres away from the lock on your greenhouse door and whispered, "Alohomora," and the satisfying click of the handle reached his ears, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

Before he slipped inside, he cast a cautious glance to the left and right, reassuring himself that he was alone, and not being watched. With a sharp inhale, he wrapped his wet hand around the handle and pulled it down, opening the door and creeping inside. The damp, yet mild air hit him rather hard. He forgot how muggy the greenhouses were. Ben grunted slightly as he slipped off his jacket and chucked it on the table in front of him; beady, inquisitive eyes darting across the room, searching.

It was quiet and dark, almost gloomy even. Only the patter of the rain against the glass roof rang out in the glass enclosure. Ben noticed a few vases of the bouquets he'd sent you were wilting on the windowsills, and the now-yellowing, sun-damaged notes were still attached to them. As his eyes flicked away from the flowers, he eyed your desk, standing idly as a tingling sensation suddenly tickled the tips of his fingers. He padded towards it, wand in hand, nosily reading the piles of parchment sat atop of it.

'Class A, First-Years, subject: Dittany', He lifted the next pile of parchment up, reading again. 'Class D, Fourth-Years, subject: Bouncing Bulb, Wormwood,' Ben huffed, and let the pile fall back down from his prying fingers, wandering around to your chair. On either side were two drawers, and this piqued his interest. Surely, there's something in there. And so, he pulled open one drawer, a defeated sigh falling through his nose as metal instruments amongst pens rattled in it. He slammed it shut, and opened the next one.

Notes...

Ben's brows furrowed deeply as he slowly dipped his fingers into the drawer, plucking a note from it.

'Y/N,

I have taken one handful of wormwood and a careful pinch of aconite.

S.S'

Ben drew a deep, slow breath as his eyes lingered on those two initials, sparking a burning fire of jealousy and anger within his chest. He flicked through more notes, his heart growing colder with every read.

'Y/N,

Potter thought it was fitting to forget his ingredients for today's class. I have regrettably had to take another handful of Billywig stings. He sends his most sincere apologies.

S.S'

His jaw clenched. Why was he leaving you notes?

'Y/N,

- One piece of cowbane

- Two stems of dandelion root

S.S'

As Ben reached the bottom, very familiar looking pieces of parchment laid there, stagnant. However, they were not in the same condition as Snape's were. In fact, they were slightly ripped, crumpled and there was a fingerprint ontop of it. Ben lifted it up from underneath the other notes, bringing it close to his eyes.

"Lumos," He muttered, aiming his wand at the parchment. That fingerprint was not yours. It was far too big. If it wasn't yours, whose the hell was it? Had someone else been snooping around your drawers as well?

Angrily, Ben shoved the notes back into your drawer, though he made sure they were in the same sequence as he had found them. He'd never felt so furious. Why were Snape's notes so well preserved, unlike his? Why were his ripped and shoved at the bottom? If anything, his should be at the top, you were dating him. Not Snape.

With this disturbing fact, Ben stormed out of your greenhouse, nearly forgetting his jacket in the fit of rage. He slammed your door shut, the windowpanes rattling from the force, almost shattering as he neglected to lock it, stalking back through the pouring rain to your quarters. He wasn't sure whether he was going to confront you about this, or just leave it be - maybe he'd just simmer on it, and make a decision later on.

The next morning had come agonisingly slow for you, but maybe it was because you laid awake for most of the night, tossing and turning, unable to find the sweet relief of sleep. Rays of blinding sunlight pierced through your window, gradually illuminating your room as it rose into the sky, painting the once-black-sky blue again. You rolled over to look at Ben who was sleeping peacefully, his dark brown hair strewn across his forehead, a few strands tickling his eyelids.

The thought of breaking it off with him slipped into your mind, and it was all too tempting. You knew he wasn't for you. He was becoming increasingly controlling, unbearably jealous and possessive. He was also arrogant - unrightfully so - perhaps if he was older, more experienced and lived up to his words, you'd let it slide. But he wasn't any of that.

You'd already vaguely planned how you were going to do it. On the day he leaves, you were going to take him to the pub in Hogsmeade, sit him down, and just break it to him gently, praying that he won't kick off. If he was the respectable young man you thought he was, he'd take it gracefully and leave, bidding you goodbye. However, just from how he'd acted with and towards you recently, unfortunately, you knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Would he even accept this? Would he fight back and make you stay with him?

With a quiet, frustrated huff, the bed creaked as you sat up, flipping the duvet covers off of your body. The cool, frigid air bit at your wiggling toes and instantly you just wanted to curl up back into your warm bed. Winter was definitely making itself known. You had to force yourself to get up, placing your bare feet on the freezing floor, dawdling over to your little kitchenette to brew yourself a hot cup of tea. Popping the kettle on, you reached a hand up to open a wooden cupboard that sat just above your eye-level, fetching a sage green ceramic mug and placing it lazily onto the countertop. The cold air began to make you shiver as you stood still, and so you quickly darted across the room to your sofa to fetch your green cardigan, throwing it on swiftly, a soft hum of satisfaction falling from your lips as you relished in the warm comfort of it.

Seconds later, groan sounded from behind you, indicating that Ben was stirring awake. So much for peace and quiet, you thought, scrunching your nose up. Throwing a glance to the right, you checked the clock and noticed it was almost seven o'clock, just two hours before classes began. You could probably nip down to your greenhouse earlier than usual and get ahead of marking some assignments, and selfishly, you could avoid talking to Ben and his prying questions. You'd feel bad about that, had he not treated you like a pet dog the other night.

Hot steam began to billow out from the spout as the kettle ticked, signifying it'd finished boiling. You quickly lifted it and poured the water into your mug, the satisfying sizzle of it piercing the silence in your room. Setting the kettle back down, you shuffled to the right to your small fridge and opened it, sticking your hand in to grab the bottle of milk, however, you found it empty.

"Shit," you muttered to yourself quietly, staring at the empty bottle unhappily, "no milk..." You glanced back at your steaming mug and sighed softly. Black tea it was... You weren't the biggest fan of milk-less tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You'd just have to bite the bullet and drink the bitter tasting beverage.

In the thirty minutes that had passed, you'd dressed yourself and unwillingly downed your bitter black tea, wincing and gagging as the foul taste swam in your mouth. And now, you were walking through the grounds of Hogwarts, on your way to your greenhouse, partly awake and ready for another day. The hem of your dress was slightly muddied as you walked across the patches of sloppy mud and wet grass, the heavy rain from the night before turning it into something like a used rugby field. You had almost slipped over more than once and your heart had shot into your throat as you threw your arms up to steady yourself, thanking Merlin that you didn't go crashing down; dirtying and ruining your dress.

As you began to near your greenhouse, you noticed that the door wasn't fully shut, nor locked, like you'd left it when you left late yesterday afternoon. A cold shiver ran down your spine and your heart pumped nervously in your chest. Had someone been in here? Or did you think you had locked it? Maybe you did forget to lock it up, you weren't the most heedful at times.

You walked toward it slowly, peering through the windows to check that it was empty, and there wasn't some psycho killer waiting to slaughter you inside.

Quickly fishing your wand from your pocket, you muttered, "Homenum revelio." Nothing happened, and so you felt at ease again, sighing softly. Ben's constant chatter about Black still lingering at Hogwarts had really messed with your mind. You should know better than to doubt Dumbledore - but when all you hear is 'Black's still here,' amongst other ridiculous things, it starts to slowly twist your thoughts.

Without another wasted second, you strode forwards and opened the door and stepped inside, shutting it behind you with a soft click. As you cast your eyes over your classroom, nothing was amess, and nothing seemed to have been tampered with, so you just assumed you'd forgotten to properly lock up yesterday. You needed to be a little more careful, aside from other dangers, you didn't want any students entering your greenhouse when you weren't around - God knows what they'd do.

Inhaling deeply, you stepped towards your desk and took a seat in your chair, reaching forwards to pull a pile of first-year assignments towards you and your quill that sat to the far right of them. You began to read through the first one, twiddling your quill between your fingers absent-mindedly.

'Dittany and Its Uses

Dittany is a powerful, magical herb that is dark green in colour, and is easily identifiable through its small, circular leaves. Another name for dittany is 'Burning Bush'. Dittany can be used in many areas, including wand cores, healing magic, and most importantly potion-making. It's most famous for being able to make fresh skin grow over wounds, making them seem more than several days old. Another fascinating fact about this herb is that it can also cure werewolf bites, but it cannot cure lycanthropy.'

You were thoroughly impressed with this student, considering they were only in their first year. They seemed to definitely have a flair for Herbology. Your eyes flicked curiously to the top corner of the parchment, reading 'Tristan Thomas'. Of course, that boy had been more than knowledgable in your class yesterday when you were asking about the healing herb. You scribbled some positive notes at the bottom of the essay, not needing to finish it as you were more than sure it was up to your standards. Lifting the parchment, you set it down to the right of you, and began reading the next one.

'Dittaney

Dittaney is a healing herb, also known as 'Burning Bush'. It's green and has round leaves, which is used to identify it. It's most commonly used in potion-making to make the Weggenwild potion, but can be used in other areas too.'

You winced slightly at the spelling errors and lack of description and depth, but you gave the student the benefit of the doubt, considering they were only in their first year. Perhaps they just needed some guidance... You glanced to the corner again, and took note of the name, 'Jayson Blackbell', making a mental note to focus a little more on this student. You wanted all of them to excel and succeed in your classes, whether they enjoyed Herbology or not. With a soft sigh, you placed your quill on the parchment and corrected the spelling mistakes, whilst also writing some encouraging notes on the bottom, avoiding the idea of scolding him. You weren't the type of teacher to reprimand first-years for simple mistakes, you knew how it felt to be ridiculed for misspelling something or even mistaking another item for something else.

"I never took you for an early bird, Miss L/N."

"Jesus!" You jumped, dropping your quill and watching it splatter ink over the bottom half of Blackbell's essay. "Severus!" As you picked it up, a frustrated grumble fell from your mouth. You glanced up sourly at his amused face, the corner of his lips quirking upwards wickedly. His hands were tucked behind his back as he stood still in front of your desk, that infamous black cloak falling around him.

"Still as skittish as ever," He mused, slipping his wand from his sleeve and flicking it gently at the mess on your desk to clean it up. "I thought you would have grown to be a little more aware of your surroundings." Severus added, his voice silky and smooth as he gazed down at your frowning face.

"I am, I just don't expect visitors at this time of the morning..." You sighed, a little vexed, avoiding his eyes. Severus's brows furrowed at your unusual flat tone. You hadn't been this irritable with him since before the two of you had kissed.

"Something on your mind, professor?" Severus asked lowly, almost cautiously as he looked away from you, glancing around your classroom. Everything seemed normal to him, so it was puzzling to him as to why you were so short with him.

"I'm fine," you huffed a little more dramatically than you wanted, "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night. To be honest, I don't think I slept at all." You let your quill drop from your fingers as you sighed deeply, burying your exhausted face in your hands. Severus's eyes twitched as he observed you.

"Perhaps you needed a release." The Potions Master said jokingly, making your cheeks burn. You peeked up at him through your fingers and watched as he smirked, black eyes twinkling mischievously, clearly satisfied with making you blush so easily. "Or, need." He corrected himself, noticing how tense you were.

"Aren't you funny?" You hummed, a faint hint of sarcasm dripping from your words as you removed your hands from your face, cheeks still red. Severus cocked a brow at your attitude. "You know, I was thinking about paying you a visit last night after my meeting with Lupin."

Severus would have been pleased with your words had you not mentioned a meeting with Lupin. "Your meeting with Lupin?" He asked, his black eyes narrowing confusedly.

"Yes," you said, "I'd asked him to teach me how to conjure a patronus." Severus's whole body had stiffened uncomfortably at the mention of Lupin. He wasn't entirely happy that you were in a room alone with him. Severus knew the dangerous secrets that burdened that man.

"A patronus," Severus repeated, his fingers twitching behind his back as he stared at you, "and were you successful?"

"Yes, I was, actually. I might even ask for some more lessons." You smiled up at Severus, his muscles relaxing a tad at the sight of your happy face.

"No. I can teach you." Severus said plainly, rolling his shoulders back. You returned his arched brow, gazing at him curiously.

"You? You think you're as good as Lupin at teaching such spells?" You teased him with a cheeky smile, feeling a little brave today. His eyes narrowed slightly at your doubt.

"No," Severus hummed, and a brief silence ensued for several seconds. "I'm better." He said, a tiny smug smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, and you giggled slightly, unsure whether to take him seriously or not. Of course, you knew Severus was a very talented wizard, but he was the Potions Master, not the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"But Lupin is the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, you aren't." You frowned, a little tempted to playfully mess with him. His face soured slightly at your words - clearly this was going the way you wanted it to.

"Miss L/N," Severus stepped forwards, his legs pressing against your desk as he leaned down and rested his palms atop of it, staring at you with a wicked look strewn across his features. Your breath hitched as his eyes raked over your pinkening face. "Dark Arts teacher or not, I am far more qualified than Lupin could ever dream of being." He muttered, his mouth curling upwards as he watched you squirm. The power in the conversation suddenly changed to him.

You swallowed, shuffling in your seat as your eyes flicked between his glittering black ones, far too tempted to drop down towards his lips. "Is that so?" You whispered, poking the tip of your tongue out to wet your lips.

"More than so, Miss L/N." Severus whispered back, his hot breath tickling your red face, silently begging you to close the gap and kiss him. And you would, had you not been in an open, windowed room - an easy victim to unwanted, prying eyes. Merlin, the way he said your name really, really made you want to forget where you were.

Severus leaned back, leaving you wanting more as a gentle breath fell from your parted lips. He cleared his throat as he stared down at you, shoving his large, pale hands into his black pockets. "So," Severus drawled, "This evening after dinner?" He suggested, blinking slowly as he looked at you.

"Sounds good to me," you whispered, still stuck on how close the two of you had been seconds earlier, "this evening after dinner." You agreed, swallowing thickly once more in a futile attempt to clear the highly inappropriate thoughts that were currently clouding your mind.

Severus smiled at you with his eyes, nodding. His head stayed still but his eyes glanced around for a moment, as if checking to see if anyone else was around. Your brows furrowed in confusion, though, they soon shot up your face as he reached out a cold hand to softly grasp your chin, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. Your breath hitched at his risqué act and your cheeks turned an even deeper shade of scarlet.

"Don't be late." Severus said sternly, letting your lip slip back from the pad of his thumb as he released your chin. He turned away and swept out of your greenhouse with a swoosh of his black cloak, leaving you a blushing mess.

"Bastard." You muttered to yourself as your heart pounded in your ears, picking your quill back up with shaking hands and returning to your task of grading assignments. Now, you just couldn't wait for the clock to strike eight o'clock.

The day dragged agonisingly slow, just as the past night had, and now you were in the endgame of your last class of the day. A class of mischievous third-years. Despite this class that you struggled to teach, you were quite thankful that Ben hadn't disturbed you much today, only popping in now and again to observe nosily. You could only do with so much stress.

"Mr Goyle, don't put your fingers into the mouths of the Mandrake seedlings!" You cried out as you watched him poke at the sentient plant, a growing ball of frustration building in your chest. This class was usually so well behaved, why were they choosing to act up today?

"Professor, why are we learning about Mandrakes again? We learnt about this last year." Ron Weasley asked curiously as he scrunched his nose up at you, looking awfully concerned.

"It's part of the school curriculum, I'm afraid, Mr Weasley," you replied, sighing, "aside from that, it's good to refresh the memory. I'm sure you can't remember how to tell when a Mandrake is mature?" You asked, cocking a brow expectantly. Ron stumbled for a moment, struggling to find the words.

"Erm... I suppose not, professor." Ron nervously chewed on his bottom lip, much to the amusement of his grinning friend, Harry Potter.

"Hence why we are revisiting this topic." You smiled at the ginger-haired boy, and then cast a glance at Harry. "And Mr Potter," you said, watching as the grin fell from his face, "since you find this so hilarious, can you tell me the signs of a maturing Mandrake?"

"No, ma'am." Potter said, pursing his lips. "But I do know that they're irritatingly loud and whiny," he smiled proudly, pausing for a moment to lower his voice, "just like some students here at Hogwarts." Beside him, Weasley snorted rather loudly, catching the attention of the Slytherin students Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione Granger rolled her eyes at the pair as she scribbled down some notes, keeping her nose out of the drama.

"Somethin' funny, Weasley?" Malfoy spat, his blue eyes shining maliciously as his two friends, Crabbe and Goyle, stood beside him with matching glares. You weren't exactly surprised at his venomous tone, you knew the blonde-haired boy was rather rude to anyone and everyone.

"No," Ron said, looking at Draco with narrowed eyes, "just your bloody awful personality, to be honest." Weasley and Potter grinned amusedly at each other as Malfoy almost exploded with anger.

"Why, you little-!" Draco began to stomp orwards with a menacing sneer, looking to potentially harm Weasley. That's when you decided to step in.

"Alright, that's enough, boys!" You held out a hand, raising your voice. The entire class looked up in shock at your sudden outburst. Never have you had to raise your voice in their classes - you weren't known for such things. "You're both lucky that I don't take points from your respective Houses. Now, please, get back to your studies."

The two boys apologised quietly, and you sighed softly, grateful that you were able to diffuse a potentially hostile situation. What had gotten into them? They weren't usually so wound up.

Soon, the bell rang and you'd never felt more relieved. "Since we only revised a topic today, I want a full parchment's worth of notes about Mandrakes, please." The class groaned at your words, and you gave them a disappointed look. "Would you like me to assign you a five page essay on Mandrakes instead?" You asked, receiving a chorus of desperate 'no's. "Notes it is, then." You smiled, watching as they all filed out of your greenhouse.

You hoped you wouldn't have to endure such a frustrating class ever again, though, life was never that fair.

"Ben?" You called out, stepping out of your bathroom in a dressing gown. You'd just showered, freshening yourself up after a rather mentally draining day at work. The second that hot water hit your body, it was like all the stress, tension and troubles melted off of you.

"Yeah?" Ben replied from your sofa, a novel in his hands. You scrunched your nose up as your eyes flicked to him, noticing that he had his shoes up on the couch.

"Just to let you know, I have a meeting after dinner tonight." You said, drying your hair with a spare towel you'd taken from your airing cupboard.

"Another meeting?" Ben sighed and you could hear him roll his eyes at you. "With who?" He asked nosily, letting his hands fall into his lap.

You held back a groan, already knowing what was to come. "Snape."

"Snape?" Ben spat, evidently very unhappy with your answer. This time, you allowed that groan to slip out. "What happened to Lupin?"

"Snape thought he'd be the better teacher." You replied, keeping your tone flat as you flicked your hair back, running a hand through the wet strands.

"That twat is far from a good teacher." Ben mumbled, and you spun on your heel a little harshly.

"You might not like him, but he's still my colleague, Ben, it'd be nice if you could respect Severus for once." You said rather sternly, narrowing your eyes into a glare. Ben scoffed at your behaviour, growing a little irritated that you were speaking back to him.

"Severus? Don't use his first name, Y/N." Ben almost gagged, and this only infuriated you more.

An exasperated sigh left your lips as you scoffed, "Jesus, Ben, you're such a child!" You turned away from him, groaning and running a stressed hand through your wet hair. That reminded you - you needed to dry it properly. Padding over to your wardrobe to choose an outfit for dinner, you pulled out your wand and cast a quick spell to do so.

"I don't like that tone," Ben said, standing up from the couch, "you need to dial it back, Y/N."

"Excuse me?" You laughed in disbelief, twisting your head to look at him. "If you don't like it, Ben, leave! I won't have you disrespecting my colleagues like that. You don't hear me talking shit about your work mates, do you?"

"That's because you haven't met them." Ben rolled his eyes. You grit your teeth. "Besides, I've known Snape just as long as you have, so my opinion is valid."

"You can have your opinion about him, Ben, just don't express it in front of me."

"Why are you suddenly so pro-Snape?" Ben questioned, folding his arms against his chest, staring at you confusedly. "The amount of times we used to make fun of him when we came here as students - I mean he practically hated you, Y/N. You were always burning or destroying his stuff."

"It's different when you're both adults."

"Right." Ben snorted, though it wasn't out of amusement.

"Perhaps when you turn into one, you'll be able to see what I mean." You snapped, tired of his petty attitude.

"I don't want you seeing him." Ben stated matter-of-factly.

"Ben," You sighed, your voice becoming low, almost like a warning. "You can tell me to wear a dress you bought, sure, whatever, but you do not get to tell me who I can and cannot see. This is not going to work if you do that, so if you want a woman you can push around and control, go and look elsewhere, because I'm not her."

Another scoff left Ben, "Are you sure? Because you seemed pretty eager to please Snape the other day when he came asking for some silly ingredient one of his poor students forgot."

"You're joking, right?" You said slowly and narrowed your eyes, unsure whether he was making some crappy joke or if he was actually serious. "What, am I supposed to just ignore him when he asks for something work-related?"

"...No, but..." Ben clenched his jaw, staring at you with a stiff body, clearly unhappy and unable to support his silly accusation with evidence.

"But nothing," You said quietly, turning back to your wardrobe, a pretty green dress catching your eye. Reaching out, you palmed it softly, the smooth, silky material gliding through your fingers like butter. "I'm not going to stop seeing someone because you don't like them, especially when they're a colleague... I see them every single day of my life." Another tired sigh fell from your mouth as you turned your back to Ben, taking your dressing gown off in front of him to slip on the green dress. You weren't exactly bothered about Ben seeing you in your underwear - you did sleep together during the first month that you started dating, and it'd be a little strange if you told him not to look.

As you were slipping on the dress, Ben spoke again, though he sounded a little further away than before, so you assumed he'd sat back down on the sofa. "Fine," he muttered, "if it means I get to be with you, then so be it."

Those last words stung a little as your mind reeled back to when you'd first kissed Severus, let alone first slept with him. In his classroom, for goodness sake. Perhaps you should have waited a little while longer before crossing that line with Severus to end things with Ben so this didn't become so goddamn messy. You really didn't want this to get out, and you really didn't want your reputation to be ruined. Were you wrong for following your heart that night? Yes... and no. Were you wrong for sleeping with someone else whilst supposedly being with Ben? ...Yes. You didn't regret anything with Severus, at all, it was mainly just the guilt that came with it. It was all building up, and almost becoming too much at some points.

"I'll see you later on, okay?" You said, walking towards Ben with a sigh, and he quickly got up and cupped your face, placing a rather harsh, heavy and unflattering kiss upon your lips. Stunned at his bold act, you squeaked slightly, planting your hands on his chest and pushing against him lightly. Your eyes stayed open, shocked.

As he pulled away, his hands fell from your surprised face to hold your hands. "I look forward to seeing you later." A wry smile graced Ben's mouth.

You didn't exactly know how to navigate this situation. So you nodded, pursing your lips and forcing a smile. "Me too." You choked out the lie, the only thing on your mind being a very gloomy, brooding Potions Master.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said that." Ben suddenly said, again, taking you by surprise. What the fuck was happening right now?

"Erm, it's alright, I'm just glad we have an... understanding." You replied, attempting to hide your confused frown at his sudden change of heart.

See, had Ben not snooped through your greenhouse, he probably would have chosen to leave tonight. But, alas, he had found something intriguing, almost heart-wrenching, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. The man was going to confront you about the notes, and you were going to tell him the truth. He just wasn't sure when.

There you stood, waiting outside of Severus's office, a little nervous. He hadn't attended dinner this evening, and you weren't sure why, but you weren't going to poke him about it. He needn't explain himself - perhaps he just wasn't hungry. Wait, what if he was? Was he just too busy to come and eat? Shit, should you have brought him a plate?

Just as you were about to become lost in your dominoing thoughts, his door opened by itself, revealing the Potions Master himself sat behind his desk, scribbling away with his quill.

"Punctual as always, Miss L/N." Severus drawled, setting his quill down as he glanced up at you, a small smirk tugging at his lips. You scrunched your nose up at his words.

"Was that sarcasm? Because if it was, I haven't been late, ever." You quipped, walking into his office and shutting the door behind you with a smile. You wandered over to his desk and perched yourself on the corner of it, facing him.

Severus hummed as he gazed up at you. "It seems you're forgetting about a certain detention with me, many years ago." He quirked a brow, making you glance away, your cheeks pinkening in embarrassment. Oh, yeah, you forgot about that. "I remember it well, you brewed a potion so detrimentally wrong that it burnt through the cauldron itself and ruined one of my desks."

"Um, whoops." You blushed, smiling awkwardly. Severus couldn't fight the amused smile that teased his lips.

He took a deep sigh before continuing, "Then, you thought it wise to be impeccably late to my detention. How clever of you." He muttered, feigning a disappointed tone that rattled your bones. Even though the two of you were work colleagues now, that tone still scared you. It will probably be something that haunts you to your grave.

You cleared your throat, sheepishly glancing at his twinkling black eyes. "Yeah, well, I'm sure I had something important to tend to beforehand..."

"Such as...?" He encouraged, tilting his head at you.

"I can't remember, it was years ago!"

"Perhaps you were too busy daydreaming about that Herbology hobby of yours."

"Hobby?" You repeated, narrowing your eyes. "Don't push me, Severus, who knows what I might do." A quiet laugh slipped through your smiling lips as you crossed your legs, watching as his eyes faltered for a moment as you readjusted your position on the corner of his desk. You gently nudged his knee with the tip of your foot.

Severus leant back in his chair, shutting his eyes momentarily as he lifted a finger to massage his temples. "Ah yes, what would you, our beloved Herbology professor, do to me, a far more accomplished wizard?" He mused, teasing you.

"Wow, you sounded a lot like Lockhart there for a second. Almost had me fooled." You said sarcastically, referring to when Gilderoy had misjudged you during the Duelling Club. An amused chuckle rumbled in Severus's chest, and it made a comforting warmth bloom within yours. You couldn't help but smile at him.

"I think we're getting a little sidetracked," Severus said as he stood up, his black hair bouncing. "You're here for lessons, no?" You looked up at him, blinking.

"Yes..." You hummed, a little disappointed that he cut your conversation short. You were beginning to enjoy it. "Alright then, teach me how to conjure a patronus." Standing up from his desk, you folded your arms against your chest and shuffled to the right, so you were opposite him.

"Close your eyes," Severus said softly, his deep voice never failing to make your skin prickle with goosebumps. You did as he said and shut your eyes, concentrating. "Clear your mind. Envision your happiest memory." He added, and suddenly, his silky voice seemed nearer than it was before.

And you were right, because the next thing you knew, Severus had pressed a gentle, soft kiss on your lips; his larger, aquiline nose nudging the side of yours sweetly. Instantly, you melted, your head instinctively leaning towards his to kiss him back. As he pulled away, a brief, disappointed quiet whine escaped you, and your eyes fluttered open. Severus stood in front of you with a small smile painted across his pale, worn features as he tucked his hands behind his back, his arms disappearing underneath the shadows of his black cloak.

"What was that for?" You asked softly, a bashful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth as you stared up at him with rosy cheeks.

Severus's smile widened a tad, "I'd forgotten what your lips felt like against mine." He said, inducing a rather adorable giggle from you. His heart swelled twice the size at the heavenly sound, and he found himself unable to take his eyes off of your sweet face.

"Well, it was worth the wait," you replied quietly, grinning, "am I going to have to wait another forty-eight hours for more?"

Severus chuckled as his glittering black eyes watched you, "Perhaps," he muttered, "it depends if you can successfully produce a patronus under my instruction."

"Oh, so your kisses are a reward now?" You laughed, observing the way his lips twitched upwards again cheekily. It warmed your heart to see such a mischievous side of the man who was known to be harsh and cruel, perhaps even heartless to some. However, you had been lucky enough to witness who he truly was.

"Of course not." Severus tilted his head, still watching you. "I prefer the word encouragement." He said, earning an incredulous look from you.

"That's basically the same thing." You feigned a playful glare at him, scoffing.

"No." Severus said, cocking a brow.

"Yes it is," You stepped forwards and your heart skipped a beat as his eyes dropped to your smiling lips for a split second. "Well, to be completely honest, it's bribery."

"And does 'bribery' have the same meaning as 'reward'?" Severus asked, his eyes glinting with a smug flicker.

"No, but-"

"So then I am right." He smirked, evidently proud about proving you wrong as he watched you simmer in your frustration. Your arms folded against your chest again annoyedly.

You turned your head away from him and huffed, "Shut up." Your voice was quiet, but loud enough for Severus to hear as another heart-warming chuckle left his chest. You fought hard against the smile that tickled your lips, but your effort was in vain. There was no chance at hiding it, especially when Severus was the one that provoked it.

"You should respect your superiors." He teased, making your head snap towards his.

"Superiors?" You repeated incredulously, laughing, "Please, more like elders."

"Are you calling me old?" Severus questioned, his eyes narrowing at you in disdain. A year ago, you might have crumbled underneath such a cold, sharp gaze, but now, all you felt was the complete opposite.

"Does 'elders' mean young?" You quipped, stealing his words from earlier

"A little feisty today, Miss L/N." Severus mused, his shoulders rising and falling as he sighed, though you couldn't tell whether it was from exasperation or something else.

"I prefer the word, banterous." You mocked him, copy-catting his deep, languid voice. Severus scowled at you, quite obviously unamused at your poor attempt at mimicking him.

Severus hummed, pausing for a few seconds as he glared at you. "Should you ever lose your flair for Herbology, do the world a favour and avoid pursuing the career of an impressionist." He said with a roll of his eyes, but the grin that broke out on your face had softened his harsh gaze slightly. Clearly, he couldn't stay mad at you for very long. Gods, what had happened to him? For so long, nobody had made him feel the way you did. It was terrifying, but so exciting at the same time. As much as he wanted to push you away, just to avoid the impending heartbreak, Severus felt as if he shouldn't. There was something more to you.

"Alright, well, will you be able to avoid the undeniable temptation of kissing me, and teach me how to cast this spell?" You joked as another soft giggle left your mouth, setting Severus's heart on fire.

"I will try my best." He said as a little smile graced his lips. "Close your eyes again." Severus muttered, and so you did, awaiting his next instructions. "Think of your happiest memory, and keep it within your mind," He said from in front of you, his eyes flicking over your peaceful face. "Got it?"

"Yes," you replied, thinking about the same tender memory that you did with Lupin, "I do."

"Now, with that in your mind, you need to speak the incantation, 'Expecto Patronum'." Severus said, his voice faltering a tad at the end.

Instead of following his instructions, you whispered, "Is the temptation still there?"

There was a pause before he spoke again and anxious goosebumps littered your skin.

Severus sighed deeply before replying. "I'm afraid so." He muttered defeatedly.

Instantly, your eyes fluttered open as quick as a flash, a beaming smile spreading across your pink cheeks. You almost leapt from where you had stood, throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips against his. A muffled gasp fell from Severus as he crumbled like a poorly built sandcastle under your touch; your fingers latching onto the nape of his neck and tugging him desperately close to you. His body felt like it was on fire as you clashed together, and within seconds Severus had his arms around you. His hands clutched at your waist hungrily, as if he had been forbidden to touch you - which was partly true, in way.

Despite the clear show of desperation between you two, there was love sprinkled within it. Severus's hands held you so tenderly and dear, his fingers squeezing your clothed flesh with such gentle care that you could almost feel the love radiating from his body. Both of you knew it, but both of you refused to acknowledge it. Maybe it was the fear of recognising something so significant and monumentous happening between the two of you, or maybe it was just pure ignorance. As of right now, neither of you wanted to think about it. You could deal with it a little later.

As he kissed you, he plucked a breathless "Sev," from you, and he held you a little tighter, fearful that you might just disintigrate in front of him and he would suddenly wake up alone in his cold bed. Your chests were heaving now, and you couldn't stop yourselves from becoming lost in one another's addicting touch; the feeling too strong and intoxicating like an expensive elven wine.

"I missed you," You whispered between kisses, your hands sliding from the comfort of his neck to the smooth yet cold surface of his cheeks, embracing him. "Gods, I missed you, Severus." Slowly, he pulled away as his nose suddenly felt wet. He opened his eyes to look at you, and his face fell as he noticed tears streaming down your cheeks, wetting your perfect eyelashes. His chest twisted at the sight - did he do this? Did he make you cry? Did he hold you too tight?

Your eyebrows twisted upwards as his finger caught your chin, tilting it up, but you avoided his eyes. "Why are you crying, my love?" Severus asked softly, careful to keep his voice gentle. The pet name had rolled so easily and casually off of his tongue that he almost didn't notice it. In fact, it seemed like you didn't either. He wasn't sure whether he was relieved, or a little hurt by it.

"It's not you," you sobbed quietly, sucking in a pathetic strangled breath, "well- it is, but it's not your fault, or anything- I just..." Another cry left you, and it was starting to upset Severus. "I wish we weren't in this whole... predicament." He had only seen you cry a couple times, and after that he'd hoped that he'd never have to witness such a heartwrenching thing again.

"We don't have to be." Severus murmured, lifting a hand to wipe away your tears with a tender thumb.

"I don't want him to hurt you." You sniffled, still refusing to look in his eyes, afraid of what you might see.

"He won't." Severus replied, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Promise me." You inhaled shakily and finally looked up at him, an ache in your heart as you saw his sad face. Your hands were still attached to his cheeks, and so you brushed your thumbs against them; a pleasant, homely warmth blossoming in your chest like a newly-bloomed flower in the spring.

Severus let out an amused huff as he smiled at your sweet gesture. "I promise. He won't hurt me, Y/N."

"Okay." You whispered, feeling a little more at ease as Severus's hands fell back to your waist, tugging you closer to him once more, a comfortable silence enveloping the two of you as you held each other. Severus's eyes flicked between your glossy ones, pausing to ponder over his words for a moment.

"I never thought someone as beautiful as you would care so much for someone like me." He murmured, lifting a hand from the comfort of your waist to brush a few stray strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear.

"Someone like you?" You giggled softly, earning a disbelieving look from Severus. You knew exactly what he meant, however, that was irrelevant to you now. The man he hid himself as, was not the man you had come to know. "What, because you act so cold and awful sometimes?"

"Perhaps," he mused, "but I'm not a good man, Y/N." Severus added, tracing the line of your jaw with the pad of his index finger sweetly.

"No, you're a brilliant one," You beamed, gradually leaning in towards his face to nudge your nose against his. His breath hitched slightly at your gesture, his heavy-lidded eyes watching you carefully, wondering your next thoughts. "Despite how we may have started out, you're one of the most brilliant men I have come to know." Your words made his cheeks flush a stunning shade of scarlet, and in turn, it also made yours do the same. He glanced away for a moment, flustered.

As he composed himself, he returned his dilating eyes back to yours. "Yes," Severus sighed, feigning disappointment, "despite my best efforts to push you away, you still somehow persevered."

"Unlikely for a weak little Hufflepuff." You joked, a tiny, bashful smile slipping onto your blushing face as you glanced down at his white collar, tracing it with your fingers. Severus took a moment to silently admire your beautiful face, the corners of his lips twitching as his eyes glazed over your soft features, his heart skipping a beat as the tips of your fingers tickled the skin on his neck.

He cleared his throat, murmuring, "You're far from weak. In fact, you might just be the strongest Hufflepuff I know."

"Is that because I'm the only one you've known?" You teased, laughing softly as you glanced back up to his sparkling eyes.

"Let's not ruin the moment." Severus quirked a brow at you, returning your teasing tone. You scrunched your nose up at him mockingly. "You still haven't matured yet, I see."

"Oh, shut up." You whispered, leaning up to hush him with your lips, kissing him with a smiling mouth. Severus's hand held your cheek as he pulled your face closer to him, his prominent nose poking it. Your hands rose from the collar of his black frock and settled happily around his neck again, fingers tickling the nape of it. A few goosebumps arose on his bared skin and he shivered, a breathy groan bubbling in the back of his throat. Severus's hands grew a little more hungry as you moaned into his kisses, grabbing you and gently guiding you to the surface of his desk.

With his lips still latched onto yours moving sinfully slow, he reached out an arm and brushed off the remaining things on top of the desk. He then glided his hands down your waist, towards your hips and finally underneath your bum, palming it greedily for a moment and encouraging a whimper from you. Severus felt his cock twitch in his tightening trousers at the sweet sounds falling from your swollen mouth, and so he swiftly lifted you up with no effort at all, his hands still full of your ass. Even though this was the third time he'd lifted you up like this, you were still impressed.

For a moment, he held you there as you wrapped your legs around his hips, securing yourself. Another throaty groan left his mouth as you rocked your body against his in a painfully slow manner, and Severus quickly laid you down atop of his desk, pulling away from your lips for a moment to stare down at you.

"I forgot to mention," Severus murmured, pressing a cheeky kiss against your jaw, trailing dangerously close to your neck. "That green dress suits you beautifully." He smirked against your hot skin, and you couldn't help but laugh. The raven-haired wizard felt the vibrations from your beautiful laugh through your throat as he licked it with his warm tongue, pressing soft kisses against your burning hot flesh.

"You're so painfully biased, Severus," you giggled, hands burying themselves within his thick, black hair, "you have no shame at all." You added, gasping as his teeth grazed your lower neck, nipping you.

"Slytherin is the superior House, after all, Miss L/N." Severus said lowly as he ravished your neck with his wet mouth, plucking more breathy gasps and moans from your quivering one.

"Is that why Gryffindor is kicking their arse?" You panted, your heart doubling in speed as he began to near the top of your breasts. He trailed a hand up from your hips, and your chest heaved, your breaths becoming stuck in your throat as he brushed his thumb against the curve of your clothed breasts, drawing a whine from your parted mouth.

"And yet, Hufflepuff is nowhere to be seen." He quipped. Not that you could speak a cocky reply right now - his adept mouth and hands were doing a very good job at incapacitating your mind - you had set yourself up for that burn.

Severus teethed the neckline of your green dress, the rich, sleek material hiding the supple skin of your breasts that he so badly wanted to see. Instead of pulling it down or to the side, he continued downwards, his hands following him, gripping your waist as he pressed heavy kisses against your clothed stomach, stopping just below your navel. Your nails scraped at his scalp as his fingers dropped to the hem of your dress, slipping it up over your silky legs, stopping just above your knees. Severus glanced up at you, as if asking for permission to continue. As much as you'd rather him do whatever he wanted to you without asking, you truly appreciated the care and concern he took with you.

You leant up slightly to look at him as a hand of yours fell from the confines of his locks to his cheek and you cupped it softly, smiling and giving him a slight nod. Half of his mouth perked up into a faint smirk as he dipped his head back down, pressing his lips to the inner side of your knees, slowly working his way up your legs with hot, wet lips, kneading his cold fingers against the soft flesh of yours that he adored. A rush of heat pooled in your stomach as Severus neared your burning core, anxiously awaiting his mouth to press against it. You slowly fell back against the surface of his desk again, digging your fingers inside the mess of his hair, gripping it tighter with every inch he closed in on you.

The Potions Master hooked a finger underneath the string of your black panties, twisting it around his digit, tugging at it teasingly. As you were laid back, your eyes were seeing stars as a warm, wet sensation was suddenly braced against your clothed mound; the pointed tip of it tickling your clit that sat between your soaking folds. You whimpered as Severus licked at your panties again, this time a little heavier, the intoxicating taste of you lingering on his tongue. Your grip in his hair tightened even more as he continued this sinful rhythm, your hips bucking upwards rather erratically as Severus caught your sensitive bud here and there. With a growl-like groan, he grazed his tongue to the side of your panties, slipping it underneath the thin, lacy material, an uncontrollable moan falling from your lips at the sudden tongue-to-flesh contact.

"Shit-," you whined, hips bucking once more, "my God, Severus." Your words were nothing but breathy and broken as he continued licking at your perfect core, his heart racing as you further became unravelled beneath his gifted mouth. "Please, please," You begged as you felt yourself nearing your breaking point, your legs squeezing around his head.

Severus groaned at your thighs sandwiching his head, and he placed his right hand on your outer upper thigh, squeezing it. "That's a good girl." He mumbled against your dripping centre, your arousal covering his lower face. You cried out at his words, the praise you so desperately desired from him almost sending you toppling over the edge by itself. Severus retrieved his other hand from your thigh and brought it to his mouth, wetting his fingers with his tongue before slipping two inside of you and curling them, pulling a rather loud, delicious sounding moan from your throat.

"Fuck!" You cried out as your body trembled, that familiar coil within you tightening again. "Sev, so close, I-" Severus could just about make out what you had said through your whimpers, and so he continued the pace of his fingers and tongue, though speeding up a little bit as your body began to rock against his mouth, evidently nearing your climax.

And within seconds, all of your breath had suddenly been stolen, and you were shuddering beneath Severus once more as your mouth gaped open, your back arching. "Fuck, Sev-!" Your brows shot upwards as you cried out, your eyes squeezing tightly shut as you rode out the tsunami waves of pleasure that rocked through you; a unruly and wild string of moans and whimpers slipping out of your mouth as Severus proceeded to continue fingering and licking against your twitching pussy.

Reluctantly, he removed his mouth from you, but not before peppering a few chaste kisses against the soft skin on your wet inner thigh. "I will never grow bored of those sounds leaving your pretty lips." Severus purred with a smirk, standing up from between your legs, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he looked at you, red faced, sweaty and breathless. He was rather proud of how effortlessly he had you crying out his name, and you obviously noticed, beginning to giggle. You were a little embarrassed at how easily he had made you cum, and so you hid your face behind your hands, peeking at him between your fingers. "Don't hide from me," he murmured, leaning down to pry your hands from your face with a smile, "there's no reason to hide such a beautiful face."

"Stop it." You whispered, giggling still, your eyes finding his softened ones as you allowed him to move your hands away from your face.

"Stop what?" Severus asked gently, frowning as he held your hand in his larger one; thumb brushing against your knuckles tenderly. Gods, you couldn't believe how well he'd hid this soft side of himself, and you were going to be more than careful not to make him conceal it again.

"Lying." You replied, another rush of heat flying to your cheeks as your eyes glanced down at your interlaced hands. Severus's black brow quirked upwards at your response, as if in disagreement.

"I'm many things, my dear Y/N, but a liar is not one of them." He tutted, lifting your hand to his lips to press a sweet kiss to the back of it. His words seemed familiar to you, but you couldn't put your finger on it at the moment; your mind too hazy from the previous steamy interaction between the two of you. "If only you could see yourself through my eyes." Severus added with a whisper against the smooth skin of your hand.

"Isn't that what I said to you?" You giggled, remembering how he'd replied rather bitterly a few nights ago. "You said something about me wearing 'rose-coloured glasses' or something." Mid-sentence, you deepened your voice to mock him again, and that same scowl returned to his features.

"You're awful at that." Severus grumbled, looking away from you as he leant back up. Letting go of your hand, he placed it on your hip and slowly slipped his fingers underneath the silky fabric, palming your bare skin; goosebumps erupting all over your body from his stone-cold yet sizzling touch. Your breath hitched once more as his fingertips neared the string of your black underwear, sliding underneath it.

"Severus," You warned, your voice low. Inside your panting chest, your heart was like a jackhammer against your ribcage as he tugged the string down over your hipbone, testing you. This was like a game to him it seemed, perhaps you should play along?

"Hmm?" He hummed in reply, his blown, black eyes flicking between where his hand laid and your reddening face. Gods, this man was pushing your limits today. "What is it? Use your words, Miss L/N..."

Your heart fluttered at his raspy voice.

"I'm not sure this counts as teaching me how-," You gasped lightly as his cool fingertips grazed against the curve of your ass. Severus's eyes instantly flicked upwards to meet your fluttering ones, smirking. "-How to cast a patronus." You finished quietly, swallowing as you tilted your head at him with your best poker face, trying desperately to act as if the way he was teasing you wasn't driving you fucking insane.

Severus hummed again as he had one side of your panties pulled down. "So, you do own a brain?" He teased whilst wrapping his other arm around your waist to pull your hips flush against his own, his desk shuddering a tad at the sudden rough movement. Instinctively, your arms flew out to steady yourself, your palms splayed out against the smooth wooden surface.

"So, you're still a dick?" You quipped cheekily, and Severus growled at you, one hand flying up to grab at your neck. It wasn't hostile, it was a light grasp, and yet it still undeniably lit a wild fire inside of you. Your hand had also flown up to hold the wrist of his hand that was wrapped gently around your neck.

"You need to keep that silly mouth under control." He tutted, giving your neck a light squeeze, and a loose moan left your lips, making a single brow of his shoot up in curiosity. Clearly, he wasn't expecting you to enjoy this.

"Evidently." You muttered, a faint and cheeky smirk lining your lips. "Are you going to keep talking or are you actually going to put that talented mouth of yours to good use?" You teased him, poking your tongue out from your mouth to glide along the bottom of your top row of teeth. As much as Severus hated being spoken to like this, he couldn't help but be turned on. It was undeniably hot, especially when you're usually so shy and sweet - he was actually wondering where the hell your bravery had come from.

Without any further delay, Severus kissed you harshly, the passion and frustration from your bold attitude fuelling his fire. The hand around your neck remained, however, his opposing hand snaked its way up from your bum to the small of your back, his fingers pressing into your skin, painting it red. You moaned at the roughness he was showing you, your mind becoming a jaded blur as he rocked his hips into yours fervidly, the prominent bulge in his trousers pressing into your panties. He swallowed a gasp that slipped out of your mouth as he kissed you, seizing the opportunity to dive his tongue in. You welcomed him eagerly, licking yours against his own in a brash manner. As you drew a throaty groan from Severus, you lifted your hand from his wrist to hold his cheek, tugging him impossibly closer to you. He released your neck from his light grip and slid his palm down your chest to cup one of your breasts with a harsh hand, plucking a whimper from your swollen, pink lips.

You panted as you threw your other arm around his neck, pulling him down over you as you fell back against his desk, lifting your legs to wrap them around his hips possessively. Merlin, you just needed him inside of you now, but this was almost as good as the actual sex. Severus's hands left your breast and instead found themselves settling on your hips, grabbing them roughly, pulling you into him; a muffled animalistic moan tumbling from his mouth as you grinded yourself on his raging erection.

He faltered slightly, his lips falling from yours, muttering a "Fuck," as his fingers dug into your flesh hungrily; his hot breath shuddering unevenly. "I need you," he whispered with an alarming urgency, a solitary hand slipping from your waist and dipping itself into your soaking panties, "now." And instantly, you let go of him to kick your underwear off to the ground, his hands flying to unbuckle his trousers with trembling fingers. Your hot touch was a burning contrast to his cool, pale flesh.

Severus inhaled sharply as you pulled down his boxers, the frigid air tickling his navel. Your eyes twinkled dangerously as you glanced up at him, a swirl of butterflies exploding in your stomach as he grit his teeth, your hand reached out to grab him gently, lining his solid cock up with yourself. In one swift motion, Severus thrust into you and you cried out at the full sensation, almost screaming with the overwhelming amount of pleasure and relief that seeped into your bones.

He stilled himself for a moment, evidently trying to adjust to the sudden welcome of your sweet, perfectly warm pussy. Severus panted, squeezing his eyes shut from the immense rush of pleasure surging through him. Watching his face twist, you giggled quietly from beneath him, placing a hand on his face, leaning up to press a gentle kiss upon his nose. His eyes opened slightly as a smile graced his sweaty features, gazing down at you with such tenderness and warmth that you were sure you'd fallen for him all over again. He looked so ethereal in this current moment, so much so that it reminded you of the first time you had properly stared at him in that corridor - just before you gave Lockhart a telling off. It was so vivid in your mind;the soft amber glow from the candlelight reminded you of the torchlights in the corridor that had bounced beautifully off of his perfect features.

A certain infamous three words tickled the tip of your tongue as you stared up at Severus. In fact, they were almost begging to be said, however, you refrained, afraid of how he might take them. You certainly didn't want to ruin this moment between you. It was far too special, and so you swallowed them down with a whimper as Severus kissed you once more, drinking every inch of you. He gradually began to move his hips and you whined at the delicious friction, clamping your legs around him tighter, encouraging him to quicken pace a tad. And so he did, going at a steadier rhythm, the only sounds echoing in his office being both of your ragged breaths and the sinful slaps of your flesh clashing together.

Strands of his jet black hair stuck to the sweaty sheen glazing his forehead, and you reached a finger up to tuck it behind his ear, planting another sweet, long kiss to his lips. The silent shows of affection through gentle, tender touches between the two of you soon made you realise that the pair of you weren't fucking, per se, but making love, and that was something that made your heart swell. An indescribable warmth began to engulf your trembling body as Severus shuffled a hand from your hip to your face, cupping it intimately, his forehead soon coming to rest against yours also. The remaining hand of his on your hip quickly made work and slipped down to your burning hot core, dipping in between your shining folds and rubbing an unceasing, circular motion upon your sensitive clit, prompting your body to jerk suddenly.

Your head fell back at the tingly sensation spreading through you, and Severus laid his warm mouth against your jawline, trailing wet kisses down your neck, nipping and biting it softly, careful not to leave marks - he was lost in the lust albeit not completely, he still had some remaining sense. And so he started to pluck more and more desperate concoctions of whines and whimpers from your quivering, parted pink lips as you felt the knot within your stomach tighten, telling you that you were almost at the edge of ecstasy.

"Sev," you whined, your hand slipping up into the locks of his hair, gripping tightly, "I'm- I think- I'm gonna..." You sobbed, the pleasure from his mouth on your neck, from his cock buried deep within you and from his masterful fingers circling your clit becoming all too much.

"Let it out, my love," Severus groaned against your neck, his thrusts becoming sloppy and desperate as he too was on the verge of finishing, "that's it, it's alright... Cum for me, darling," At his last breath, you came, a wild cry cut short from your mouth as Severus kissed you once more, swallowing your moans. He pulled away briefly to bury his head in your neck, his climax taking a hold of his body, a strangled, guttural groan rumbling in his throat as he collapsed on top of you.

Your hands slowly retreated from the comfort of his raven locks and settled on his cheeks, encouraging him to look up at you. Severus quickly obliged, using the remaining strength in his body to lift himself off of you slightly. Though he was still inside you, he remained there - not that you minded - and suddenly a quiet, almost bashful chuckle reverberated within his strong, panting chest. Instinctively, you smiled up at him, your teeth poking out from underneath your swollen lips.

"That has to be the best sex I've ever had." You giggled, your legs loosening around his waist as he chuckled again. You let your foot glide down his outer thigh, caressing it.

A proud smirk tugged at his lips as he muttered, "I'm honoured."

Another sweet giggle escaped you and it tickled his heart. God knows how he's going to recover from you if you're ever taken away from him. The thought frightened him, and so he pulled you closer for a moment, planting a tender kiss against your shining forehead, that familiar warmth in your chest quickly returning as fast as lightning.

"I..." You began, unthinking, your mouth staying open as you stopped yourself. Severus tilted his head at you, confused. There's no way you had almost let it slip. You fool. "I'm glad." You said instead, smiling.

"Hmm," he hummed, pondering, making your heart pound anxiously, "perhaps we'll start the actual lessons tomorrow." Severus stated, his smile returning. You nodded and a bashful blush painted your cheeks scarlet.

"Like you'd be able to keep yourself from kissing me." You scoffed playfully. Severus narrowed his eyes at you.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Perhaps." You mocked him again, grinning. He rolled his eyes at you and finally stood up, pulling himself out of you - rather reluctantly, might he add. Severus could have stayed in that position for the rest of eternity. In fact, he wished he could.

"You'll regret saying this tomorrow evening." Severus smirked, a mischievous glint twinkling in his black eyes as he used his wand to clean himself and you up, his hands buckling his trousers back up. He stepped forwards to pull the skirt of your dress back down. You offered him a quick grateful smile.

"Excuse me, who was the one was broke this evening?" You asked, scoffing hushedly. "Oh, yeah, you."

"Can you blame me?" Severus quipped, his fingers slowly floating up to grasp your chin, trailing them across your jawline and down your neck, sending a delicious shiver down your spine.

"I guess I am irresistable." You joked, smiling coyly. Severus hummed at you again, slowly becoming lost in your glittering eyes. You looked so beautiful in this current moment, so beautiful that he found himself staring at you for much longer than would be considered socially acceptable. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." You giggled.

An amused huff left Severus. "I remember the days you'd cower in my presence, and yet, here you are, acting like that never happened." He said, smirking.

"Yeah, well, you were scary back then." You shrugged with a cheeky smile.

"Am I not now?"

"Not anymore, no."

"I suppose I've lost my touch." Severus mused jokingly, and you laughed at him. A kaleidoscope of butterflies burst inside of him at the sweet sound he adored so much. A year ago, he would have found it irritating, and now, he probably couldn't live without hearing it at least every other day. Gods, he still despised how soft he'd become towards you.

"I do hear some of the first-years talking about how they dread your lessons when they're in mine." You mumbled, looking down to link your fingers with his. You glanced back up at him, smiling bashfully.

"Maybe not then." Severus replied and quirked a brow.

"Definitely not." You grinned, lifting his hand up with yours to bring it to your lips, turning it to press a soft kiss against his fingertips. "You're still the scariest professor at Hogwarts, don't worry. I don't think anyone will be taking that from you any time soon."

"I should hope not." Severus joked sarcastically, finding it quite impossible to not crack a smile each time you showed him such tender affection.

There was a comfortable silence for a very quick moment before the thought of Ben returned to your mind. "I should probably go." You said with a solemn face, glancing away from Severus to the old, vintage-looking clock that sat against his wall. It was rather late, you must have spent at least two hours or more with him.

"Yes," Severus swallowed, and the smile that was previously sat on his face fell, "I'm sure Ben is worried sick." He added sarcastically with a scornful sneer, making you snort.

"So, same time tomorrow?"

"As long as nothing drastic happens, of course. Though, this time, we will have lessons."

"Lessons, or lessons, professor?" You asked, your tone flirtatious and shameless.

"Lessons, Y/N." Severus said sternly. "I do plan on teaching you that charm. Other things just... got in the way, this evening."

"Other things," you repeated, bravely leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek, "I think I prefer other things, Sev." You joked, a faint, pink blush blossoming like a rose across your cheeks.

Sev.

You called him Sev. And it was during casual conversation, unlike before. His heart skipped a beat at the affectionate nickname. Severus quickly cleared his throat, composing himself before he spoke, refusing to embarrass himself. "And I would prefer you able to protect yourself during another dementor attack, God forbid it happens again." He said, his face turning grim at the awful thought. He placed a hand against the small of your back as you turned around, heading towards his door. Severus followed you closely, his fingers caressing the back of you gently.

As you reached his door together, you turned around to face him. "It won't." You smiled up at Severus and pressed your hand against where you had kissed him, brushing your thumb across his high, prominent cheekbones. "Not with you around."

"Am I your personal bodyguard now? When was this decided?" Severus joked as he leant into your hand, though his partially blank face didn't show it. You giggled again, setting his heart on fire once more.

"Right now. That okay?" You teased, smiling, letting your hand drop from his face.

"...Yes."

"Perfect." Your smile widened as you noticed the corners of his lips turning upwards. "I don't want to leave you."

"Neither do I, but you must." Severus sighed softly, gazing at you with gentle eyes.

"I know." You pursed your lips, staring back into his eyes, and you leaned up on your tiptoes, kissing him once more; your hands flying up to cup his cheeks. Severus wrapped his arms around your waist in return, pulling you flush against him, his whole body feeling like it was riddled with fireworks as tiny, exciting, colourful explosions erupted within his stomach as you kissed him.

One hand left his neck and you leant away from him to reach for the door handle, twisting it to open it as you continued to kiss Severus tenderly, smiling into the kiss as he tried to tug you close to him again. A giggle left your lips as he sighed and pulled away from your lips. Inside, he was fighting the urge to just shut the door and keep you here with him forever. Your aura was addicting, and he honestly couldn't get enough of it.

"Ahem," A female voice coughed from the his door, and you gasped out of fright, quickly jumping out of his arms. Severus quickly retracted them from you and tucked them behind his back, a bright red blush covering both of your faces.

"Minerva," Severus greeted, his voice flat, acting as if she did not just see the pair of your lips stuck together like a glue trap. You stood awkwardly still, terribly embarrassed that someone had seen the two of you acting out of hand.

"Don't act like I didn't see that, Severus." McGonagall scolded him, and he sighed heavily, avoiding her eyes. As for you, she glanced down, offering you a warm smile. "Y/N, what a surprise to find you here." She said with a mischievous glint in her wrinkled eyes, smirking faintly.

"Erm, yeah," you coughed, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, "I-I was just leaving, Severus was giving me lessons."

"Oh, I'm sure he was, my dear." Minerva chuckled, and you blushed even harder, going as red as a beet. Jesus, were you an idiot? Why did you word it like that?

"What is it, Minerva?" Severus asked rather impatiently, a little salty at how she'd interrupted your goodbye. From the way Minerva glanced at you, you assumed that it was a personal issue. So, you offered the two of them an awkward smile, silently bidding them goodbye. You caught Severus's eye, and he smiled at you warmly, his shoulders relaxing a tad. You smiled back, mouthing a 'bye' to him and turned around, wandering back in the direction to your quarters. As you were walking further away from the two of them, you heard muttering, and then a door shut. You quickly threw a glance over your shoulder, hoping to catch one last glimpse of him. Though, you were sorely disappointed. Severus had disappeared already.

Despite that, another wide smile crossed your face as you folded your arms against your chest, thinking about what had just happened. You couldn't believe how gentle and soft he was with you, he was like a totally different man. A man that you adored.

No, a man that you loved.

this has to be my favourite part that i have written. i think. as of yet. :) let me know what you thought!! i really really would love to know <3

thank you for reading and have a good day/night, make sure you are taking care of yourselves. >:(

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darkphoenix07 · 1 year

Note

hii ive never requested before so this is kinda scary tbh .... im not sure if your mental health requests are still open but if they are, can i request one with either hongjoong or jongho that's up to u! (since i noticed u already had alot with hongjoong already ..) where reader has an eating disorder because of insecurities and is trying to recover but some days fall back into old habits. And how he would comfort you and help you back on track

thank you so much for this btw <3 I've read all of your mental health series since i myself am struggling alot with my mental health and I'm sure it means alot to other people too who also struggle, you're doing sm people a favor 💓

Jongho helps you with eating disorder

Masterlist

Mental Health Request

Paring : Idol Jongho x Reader

Word count : 1.6k

Song 🎵 : Those eyes by New West

Genre : Soft, Comfort, Fluff

4:45 p.m.

Everyone in the agency treats you very well after you got attached with Jongho. Specially when you are the girlfriend of their life maknae. They adore you like a little sister too and you love them with all of their heart which is why going to meet them is your favorite part of the day. Specially when you are feeling down.

As you walk inside the agency you meet with San, "Y/n, wassup," he immediately pulls you for a hug.

When he releases the hug, his eyes get big, "Damn, you look pale. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, it's just. Maybe I am tired," you didn't even know when was the last time you ate something. But that is good, right? You have become so fat nowadays. Isn't that why you can't move properly? You feel suffocated and confined around your body. Only skipping food can make it alright.

"I'm going to buy some ice creams. Coming back in a few minutes," he winks before passing away.

You enter in the elevator and reach inside the practice room where you see them sitting on the floor, giggling with one another. You automatically smile seeing Jongho's gummy smile as Mingi gets scared when Jongho tried to hit him.

Suddenly Jongho notices you and stands up, "Y/n, you are here!"

He immediately pulls you into an embrace soaking your empty heart, maybe your empty stomach too.

"You don't look so good. What's up? Are you not taking meals properly?" Jongho asks you and in reply you only smile.

"Yes, you look like you have lost a lot of pounds. What's wrong?"

You feel uncomfortable hearing Wooyoung through these words at you. Because all you think about is how ugly you look. How bad your fat is making things for you.

"I-I am fine. I just wanted to meet you. I was thinking about you a lot," you tell Jongho with another smile but it doesn't convince him much.

"I'll take you to your favorite restaurant today. But first let's have ice cream after hyung brings them," he smiles at you pulling you inside.

You sit with them, keep listening to their bickerings and after sometimes San arrives with a box of ice creams.

You and Jongho share one big bucket which is butterscotch, your favorite one. But when you start to have the ice cream, you mind starts speaking to you calling you ugly shit, a pig and how you shouldn't eat like this.

"You are barely having these. Are you alright?" Jongho asks you and you nod.

"Maybe it's my period, I've lost appetite," you lie to him gripping your own shirt. You feel guilty for being this person but you can't help it.

"I-I am coming," you get up and run to the bathroom. You end up throwing up water and ice cream because that's all you've left inside your stomach. Your stomach hurts and your throat burns from the crazy sensation and how it is so hard to eat.

You leave the bathroom and see them cleaning up stuff for practicing.

"I'll have another lesson then we can go together. Can you wait?" Jongho asks you and you nod.

"That's my girl," he kisses you on the forehead smiling and goes back for the practice.

As you sit down to watch them practice, you start feeling drowsy and nauseous.

Jongho looks back at you asking if you are okay and you try to give him a reassuring smile that you are.

But it only gets worse when you get up wanting to leave the room. You grab the nob and try to open the door but suddenly everything feels hazy to your eyes. You stop feeling the ground underneath you and fall into deep sleep.

Hearing the deep thud from you passing out, Jongho comes running, "Y/n. Oh my God. Baby! What's wrong? Wake up. Come on, wake up!!"

The members look at each other hearing Jongho calling you baby which he never does.

"She will be fine. Let's call an ambulance," Hongjong says patting Jongho's back.

"Splash water on her face. She may wake up," Seonghwa suggests and Yunho brings a bottle full of water.

Jongho splashes the water on you but you don't open your eyes as the problem is something else.

"Why isn't she waking up? Oh man. This is so bad," Jongho is trembling as your head is on his lap. Your body has gone cold and you are barely breathing which starts concerning Jongho more.

The ambulance comes and he takes you in the hospital where Yeosang joins him.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

As you wake up, you feel someone holding your hand sobbing.

"I am so sorry I didn't notice earlier. I am so fucking sorry," it's Jongho's voice you realize as you open your eyes.

"Oh my God. You are awake!!!" He hugs you tightly pressing himself against you.

You feel a saline pipe on the back of your hand when you hug him back. You look around and realize that you are in a hospital bed.

"What happened?" You ask him and he looks at you with blazing eyes.

"When was the last time you had a proper meal?" He throws the question at you with a demanding voice and you can't help but feel scared.

"I won't scold you, sweetheart. Please do tell me. When did you last have a proper meal?" He asks you so softly that your heart burns.

"I-I...maybe with you," you tell him which was four days ago.

"Seriously?" He looks like he snaps but he is mad at himself for not being able to take care of you.

Your scared face tells him you misunderstood him so he gets on the bed with you, "I am concerned about you because you have iron deficiency, lack of vitamin D, Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex. In total if I say, you are going through malnutrition. How do you think I'll feel if I get to know these?"

"I am sorry. I didn't m-" you break into tears but he cups your face into his palms.

"Hey, don't cry. I didn't want to make you cry. I am mad at myself for not being able to give you enough time to take care of you. If you were having a hard time to have food, you should have told me. I didn't even notice," he says like it is all his fault that you avoid food.

"Don't blame yourself for something I've been doing," you tell him holding his hands into yours.

"Baby, you have become my responsibility from the day I've started to have feelings for you. You are not only a part of my life. You have become my life. I can't think of a single day without you though I don't tell you these enough. But I am willing to tell you everything you need to hear for recovering as early as possible," he kisses your forehead and a drop of his tear fall on your cheek.

"All your sufferings are mine, all your pain is mine, all of your agony is mine. Don't you know that already. Why don't you eat sweetheart? Why? You used to love having food once," he asks you whispering the last words like if anyone is beside him they will know your secret or maybe it is his heart burning for you seeing you like this.

"I don't know. I feel like food is the reason everything is going wrong in my life. I need to fix everything. I feel hopeless, wrecked.The more I lose my weight, I feel like I need to lose more. I throw up everything I eat unintentionally. I feel so fucking disgusting when I eat something. It becomes hard for me to look in the mirror once I devour something," you tell him the truth but end up becoming a sobbing mess.

"Hey, we can work on it together. What if I was in your place? Wouldn't you do the same for me? Wouldn't you want to help me?" He asks and you nod.

"Then listen that I'll always be there for you no matter what. I'll help you gain confidence again. Please don't hide all these from me again?" He begs you kissing your knuckles and you smile.

After you get discharged, you start meeting a therapist with him. He has gone crazy over you nowadays because he keeps telling you how pretty you look, how perfect you are. He shows you mukbang day after day making your mouth water which is why you start to have food again. You take some suppliments to gain your appetite again which works very well.

Last time you checked, you have gained some pounds finally after hardworking. Specially with Jongho's support.

Most importantly he never reminds you of your food disorder. He makes you forget about you playing stupid food games and taking you to every new restaurants in the city making you taste new foods.

You thank yourself and him for coming this far after months torture on yourself. Because without him you wouldn't be able to beat this.

I myself wrote it with empty stomach but now I'm feeling fucking hungry

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yourchemicallyimbalancedromance · 11 months

Text

The Time Will Come

Prompt: 17. “You’re shaking like a leaf, are you okay?” (Credit to @/dumplingsjinson for this idea that I found from their hurt/comfort prompt list which you can find here<3)

Summary: post WTIT, Logan goes to an unsuspected side to garner their help.

Ship: platonic analogical

CW/TW: anxiety

———————————————————————

Logan rose up in the anxious sides room, pad of paper still in hand, exhausted and aggravated.

Virgil hadn’t heard him come in, the music from his headphones preventing him from being able to hear much of anything. He was sketching on his bed and mumbling the words to the song he was listening to to himself. This was his way of coping through the unease that rippled its way through Thomas because of Remus’ actions.

Logan stood there, waiting for Virgil to notice him. He didn’t want to bother him but he didn’t really feel as if he had anyone else to go to. Roman was busy rehearsing lines for a play, Patton was free but he was just…too sentimental, and Remus and Janus? No. Absolutely not.

Virgil could feel someone looking at him and looked up, quickly jumping back. “GAH!” he removed his headphones and took a second to catch his breath. “Jesus fucking Christ, Logan, you could’ve said something.”

“Apologies. I was wondering if we could converse about something important” he said, setting his pad of paper on Virgil’s desk. His hands were shaking.

Virgil recognized this subtle action as something Logan only did when he was overwhelmed with emotion. It’s funny, In a sick way. Logan was the one who taught him and the rest of the sides that suppression wasn’t helpful, yet he continued to put on this emotionless persona daily.

“God, you’re shaking like a leaf, are…you okay?” He asked, concerned.

Logan shook his head, suddenly all of the thoughts in his head were jumbled, he couldn’t speak. “I— Thomas keeps— Remus—“ he tried on multiple different ways of starting his sentence before he couldn’t stand upright, the shaking getting worse, tears in his eyes. He felt embarrassed, this wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

Virgil rushed to his side and held him as he collapsed into his arms. “It’s okay, you’re okay, breathe.” He says warmly.

“he won’t listen to me.” He said, taking deep breaths and composing himself. He stopped shaking and sat on the edge of Virgil’s bed.

“Logan, you need to talk to him. Not only is this effecting you, but all of us. Pushing down how you feel does nothing but make it worse.” Virgil says. He didn’t want to be so brutally honest with him, but he had no choice, enough was enough.

“I am the Logical side, Virgil, not the anxious side. I’m fine. I’m more concerned with Thomas’ procrastination issue.” Logan responds

“Really? Because the borderline breakdown you just had speaks otherwise.” He retorts. He winced a little at how cutting his voice sounded.

“The house is a mess I just need him to—“

“The house is a mess because Thomas is, same thing for you. You have emotions, Logan. I’m sorry but you have to face it just like the rest of us. The house is one of the lowest things on my list of priorities right now. You need to talk to him.”

“Fine.” Logan replied half-heartedly.

———————————————————————

After his initial conversation with Virgil, Logan found Thomas sitting in the living room re-watching Parks and Recreation with Nico. It was his 17th time rewatching it and he kept pointing out his favorite parts while Nico laughed.

It had been a few hours since their venture downtown and Logan didn’t want to intrude on their date. Or more-so, he was afraid to.

Eventually Thomas walked into the kitchen where Logan was standing, sipping his coffee, going over the script in his head. He was at the part where he was explaining the issue to Thomas when present Thomas interrupted him.

“Hey, Logan im sorry about earlier, I promise I’ll get back on schedule soon.” He says

Logan gave him a stoic look. “Thomas, we need to talk about this. I think your procrastination levels are just growing increasingly more high by the day. Why is that?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, I just wanted to let you know that I would, eventually, be getting back on—“

“Thomas, this is extremely important. I’m tired of you pushing me off to the side.” Logan interrupted him, flustered.

Thomas stared at him, shocked, a hurt look on his face. “I wasn’t trying to do that I just don’t want to—“

“Forget about it.” Logan says, cutting him off, watching Thomas’ face go from hurt to heartbroken. He couldn’t find it within himself to care, he was too tired, too maddened with Thomas’ apparent need to not listen to him.

He sinks back down into Virgil’s room, sitting on his bed, just as he was earlier.

Virgil looks up, and Logan doesn’t even have to say anything before Virgil just wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “He’ll listen soon. I promise. I know what it’s like to not feel heard.”

Logan nods and lets himself be held. Usually he’s not one for psychical touch, or any kind of show of affection for that matter, but he needed this. He really needed this.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts patton #patton sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts remus #remus sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #Nico #hurt/comfort #angst

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pappydaddy · 1 year

Text

y/n x james potter playlist

here is a playlist requested by this lovely anon for a romantic james potter playlist as part of my 800 follower celebration (sorry it took so long lovely)! i hope you love it, sweet anon💛!

warnings: mentions of throw up (once and it's early, it's in the first song)

playlists | navigation

Enchanted - Taylor Swift

Meet cute of all meet cutes!! Your roommates had forced you to go to a beginning of the school year party in the Gryffindor Common Room. You were apprehensive as the first day of school is draining for an introvert (believe me, i know). All you really wanted to do was curl up and read some of your new books you picked up while back to school shopping. But, that fell on deaf ears as they forced you out, claiming you have to at least try to experience one party during your time at Hogwarts (you have managed to avoid them until now - your sixth year). As you're standing there, listening to your friends flirt horribly with some quidditch players, you find find your eyes drifting over the room, faking smiles to make it seem like your social battery wasn't so depleted. Suddenly, yours eyes lock with a warm brown pair encircled by a pair of wire glasses. They somehow manage to both be flirty and so completely innocent. Before you know it, he is crossing the room and introducing himself (obviously you knew of James Potter, just never met him). Soon, the night has melted away, you two have migrated to the empty couch, talking, flirting (somehow, you're amazed you didn't clam up, but he somehow makes you feel energized again). Now, it's two in the morning and your roommates have had unrestricted access to fire whisky. When one of your roommates stumbles up to you, you assume she is just telling you she's going to go to your room, but before her words come out, she's barfing all over you - ending the night. But, even with puke ending up in your shoes, you still had a great night and go to bed blushing and kicking your feet (and slightly embarrassed).

2. I Think He Knows - Taylor Swift

After the party, you know it. You have a crush on James Potter - one of the most popular guys at Hogwarts. And, rumour has it, he is smitten with you as well. He's seeking you out, walking you to class, carrying your books. While you hear he's just as head over heels for you as you are for him, you doubt it and assume he's just being nice. That doesn't stop you from admiring him and daydreaming about him. Even though you assume he doesn't like you back, you 100% think he knows about your crush on him. After all, it's not normal for people to stare at other people and blush so furiously. He has to know you're wondering what's under that attitude (BDE👀? - is that still a thing or am i stuck in 2018??). And no one finds them so enthralled in a person unless their boy-ish charm has them completely captivated.

3. Glad You Came - The Wanted

You get an inkling that he likes you when he invites you to an exclusive Quidditch party. Strictly invite only and only the Gryffindor team. Since he was on the team, he had to be there early to set up so he couldn't pick you up outside your common room, but you think that is better because you are a nervous wreck walking to the room of requirement. You're overthinking, worrying you are reading too far into it, worrying your social battery will run out, worrying that you will get too overwhelmed. The party world is not friendly to introverts. But once you're there, James spots you, instantly appearing at your side with a drink in his hand. He offers it to you with no pressure to drink it, you down it (the nerves). He manages never to leave your side and at this point, you're unsure who is following who like a lost puppy, but you are thankful. Time slips away again and the party has dwindled to the ones too drunk to stand. You're sitting on another couch with James, deep in a conversation. Sirius is long gone, having found a hook-up way early into the party. Remus had left shortly after, grumbling under his breath at Sirius' behaviour - you are strangely comfortable with Remus but not in the same way as you are with James. Sirius comes on too strong for your social battery but you're sure you will get used to it. James ends up asking if you wanted to stay talking or if you wanted him to walk you back to your dorm - you opt to stay and talk because spending time with him never felt draining.

4. Postcards - James Blunt

It's a beautiful fall Sunday. James seeks you out and finds you sitting under a large tree, a book open on your lap. Once he sits beside you for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company, your book becomes long forgotten as James starts telling you a story. Making you laugh with his jokes and exaggerations, he watches as you absentmindedly fiddle with the flowers you pick from the grass, making a daisy chain. He wants to tell you right then and there and he's head over heels for you. Completely smitten. He actually wants to scream it from the roof tops, but he restrains himself because he doesn't want to throw a firework into a peaceful moment, scared he will ruin everything. So, he bites his tongue and creates a plan in his head for later as he is listening to your laugh float through the crisp air.

5. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

Would it be a James Potter playlist if Queen isn't on it? No. I see this as the first quidditch games he plays with you watching. He's playing the best he's ever played. He's cocky. He's having a good time, even goofing off a little for you as he waits to spot the snitch. He obviously ends up winning. Also, this song just fits him and his attitude so well. Also, his grand plan was to sneak a note into the book you were reading confessing his feelings so he was feeling pretty good about himself that you showed up to the game.

6. Campus - Vampire Weekend

Okay, James Potter is arrogance and confidence, but let's not pretend he doesn't get nervous because you make him nervous. When he sees you walking on campus, he gets all flustered and nervous and he starts sweating and he doesn't know what to do and this is what his brain sounds like (going 100 miles a minute). I picture him one day walking along the corridor and his eyes spot you. You've got your head stuffed in your textbook. It had been a few weeks since he planted the note in your book and you have yet to say anything about it to him. So his confidence is shaken. He doesn't know that you've been so swamped with school work that you had no time to read it meaning you haven't even seen the note. His brain is malfunctioning, he is too busy looking at you, internally freaking out that his body is on auto pilot and knows he needs to turn down another corridor but he also wants to escape you and he has to walk past you to get to the corridor he needs. So, in his panic, he ends up running face first into a solid wooden door when he tried to escape into the broom closet. Luckily, you had a potions test next class and was too busy and zoned out to notice anything. (We love and hate a miscommunication trope).

7. You Belong with Me - Taylor Swift

Miscommunication trope continued and on max speed! Your workload is lifting a little and you're now noticing things around you. Most importantly, you are noticing how little time James has been around you. Of course, you noticed while you were busy, you would go to say something to him because you were so used to just having him there, but he won't be sitting beside you. But now that you don't have fifty million tests and essays to do, you realize how absent he was. You also notice him hanging around with Lily Evans a lot more. A pang of sadness mixed with jealousy hits your heart and you're seeing green and red. But, you don't do anything. You just watch and you can't help but to compare how she acts around him to the dynamic between the two of you. Sure, they have a good banter, but she usually ends up angry and storming off (usually with James covering in food or sporting a new red mark on his cheek). Their interactions never looked effortless like when you guys are interacting. Not only that, but Lily doesn't seem to understand James, not like you. Whenever James is upset, he's avoiding her. When he was upset, he would always find you, sneaking into the Ravenclaw dorm and waking you. You guys were slipping out for late night adventures, or just talking in the dark common room.

Additionally, you guys were always going on adventures. Sneaking out to Hogsmeade or sneaking into the Black Lake for night swims. You guys would team up to prank Remus (and more recently Sirius after you got comfortable with him), and his other roommates. But also you guys would sneak out just to lay under the stars and talk. Or you guys would blow off studying to try out a new hobby or for James to attempt to paint.

But now he was hanging around with Lily and he obviously could not see that he belongs with you.

8. Dog Days are Over - Florence + The Machine

(Specifically for the feel of the song not necessarily the words) Okay, this is when the miscommunication comes to a peak here. Since meeting Remus, you considered him a friend of yours outside of James. So, one day when you were really upset about James hanging around with Lily, you had confided in him. Crying on his shoulder about how you didn't understand why James forgot about you and just started to hang out with her like you were nothing. You never intended for Remus to tell James anything. It was just things were piling up, stress was resting heavy on your shoulders, and you were hurt. So, fired up and angry, Remus had left you at the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room and sought out his idiot friend. Finding him out by the lake, tossing rocks into it with Sirius and Lily, he didn't wait a second before tearing a strip off him. "What is your issue, Potter?" Remus yelled, getting into James' face. The tanned boy stumbled back, brown eyes wide in shock and confusion. Sirius dropped the rock he held, taking a step towards his friends to break them up but Remus held up a hand to stop him (and threw him a rather scary look). "W-what?" James asked, his voice shaking as much as he was. He looked like a scared mess right now. His tie loosened, the top buttons of his button down unbuttoned. "What kind of an idiot are you? Completely ignoring Y/N as if she was a fling? As if she was gum on the bottom of your shoe? Something you picked up one day, kept, and then just scraped off?" Remus was mad. Red was quickly filling his face. Jame just got more confused, his dark eyebrows knitting together. "Uh-" "Uh" Remus mocked him. "Wipe that stupid look off your face, you know exactly what you did-" "She was the one who ignored me! I assumed she read my letter and didn't feel the same way since she never mentioned it, so I stopped trying." "Letter? What letter?" Remus asked, his voice suddenly normal again. "What letter? The letter I left in her book months ago! The letter confessing my feelings for her," He spoke as if Remus should know about the letter. James' eyes narrowed. "What? Are you about to tell me she didn't get the letter I spilled all my sappy feelings into?" "She didn't get a letter, James," Remus told him. "She thinks you just randomly stopped talking to her-" "No, I left her a letter in the book she always carries around-" "She hasn't read that book in at least four months because she was too busy with school work! Then, she lost it two weeks ago in the Great Hall before she could start reading again," Remus yelled out again. James' face dropped, his skin turning pale. "Why the bloody hell would you write a letter and stuff it in her book instead of just talking to her? You bloody idiot!" "She didn't get my letter-" James was stunned - looking like a deer in headlights (ha - get it?) before he looked up at Remus with wide eyes. "She didn't get my letter," He exclaimed, panic on his face. "I need to find her!" He yelled, his feet already starting to walk up the hill. Gradually, his pace picked up until he had broken out into a full on sprint by the time he reached the top of the hill.

9. Talk Too Much - COIN / 10. Everybody Talks

(These kinda go hand in hand with this situation right here) After running all over the damn castle, James finally found you walking along one of the darker corridors, seeking out some silence in your own company. You knew people usually didn't travel through the back corridors, but you had failed to remember that James Potter does not usually go with the status quo. He gently grabs your arm as he finally reaches you. You get scared since you didn't hear him running up behind you, having had your walkman playing. You let out a scream before you realize it's just him. He doesn't even give you time before he's launching into his rant. He's explaining everything to you, he's begging you to give him another chance, he is pleading with you. And he's talking so much and so fast. He's sweating, his shirt and hair are even more messed up than normal. He's listing all his faults and flaws and you've just been standing there, shocked and not able to get a word in edge-wise. He is literally on his knees in front of you in this dark corridor, begging for you to forgive him. "You talk too much, Potter." You cut him off. He's managed to take only five minutes to cover a ten minute rant. His rant stopped, looking up at you, his eyes wide and fearful until he sees the sparkle in yours matched with the little smirk on your lips. A split second. That's what it took for him to flip the situation around and to bounce back. Now, he's got that crooked smirk on his lips that makes you weak in the knees. And Rowena, it is ten times worse when he's on his knees in front of you, looking up at you through his thick eyelashes and rimmed glasses. "Then kiss me and shut me up, Love." Next thing you know, you guys are a mess. A clash of lips and some teeth as James springs up and you're now pressed against the cold wall. Soon, lips are aching but neither of you care. Hands are roaming, tongues are cramping and clashing.

11. I Can See You - Taylor Swift

Okay, so as much as you are obsessed with James and his lips (and his body but we won't get into that), you had noticed some Professors reacting badly to your new (what they assume to be friendship) and one of those Professors holds your career after Hogwarts in their hands. So, you two have to stay a secret (aside from Remus and Sirius) until the letter that Professor is writing has been sent. It had been the rest of their sixth year and two months into their seventh already. You guys are sneaking around, but you both want more. You both want a public relationship, but you are both enjoying the thrill of sneaking around still.

12. Can't Take My Eyes off You - Frankie Valli

This is pretty self explanatory, but let me set the scene for you anyway. We are talking Patrick Verona level of performance (10 Things I Hate About You). The letter has been sent. You two are free from the curse of secrecy. You want to just sag-way right into being public, but it's James Potter we are talking about. This man needs to make a big deal out of this. So, after a Quidditch win, him, Sirius, and Remus all pull off the plan they had been working on for so long. And it's an instant hit (especially with you because you could not take your eyes off him and you felt like you were the only two even though the stands were packed).

13. Softly - Clario

You guys are still a new couple and you're both feeling it out. Seeing what is too little, too much, or just right at this stage of your relationship. Not only do you guys have your moments where you're wild, young, and free, but there are times where you guys are so domestic and blissful in the peace of each other. It's Christmas and you both managed to convince your families to let you stay over the holidays. The dorms are empty (especially yours since Sirius is in James'). One night, James is laying in your bed with you after sneaking in. It's soft, it's quiet as you guys are cuddling. James is wondering if he needs to go or if you want him to stay, but he's nervous to ask. He knows that he should probably go, but he really wants to stay. Instead of talking, he starts to move, as if he was leaving. Your arms wrap around him tighter, making him stop. A mumbled "no, stay" leaves your lips and he is instantly settled around. He's surrounding you with his arms and legs, attacking your face in kisses, making you giggle. Sleep is long forgotten as his lips land on yours, the kiss starting soft but quickly picking up into a soft, loving make out.

14. Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

(So Harry Potter coded) There isn't much to say about this one. He's down-bad for you. He is completely in love with you. You have him wrapped around your pinky finger. Definition of walk him like a dog.

15. Fearless - Taylor Swift

Very self explanatory. James is this song. This song is written for James Potter.

16. Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - Edison Lighthouse

Ultimate love song. This beat, this concept. This is how James feels whenever he looks at you. He is so in love with you it's insane. He would 100% sing this to you in public or private.

17. Hey Lover! - Wabie

Again, this song just really fits the vibe of your relationship. There isn't a reason per se, just fits.

18. Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift

Okay, James can be immature. Fight can explode into worse fights. As much as you love him, he can frustrate you. But even after your fights, he finds away to make you laugh and fix it all. Besides, fights are rare and the good fair outweighs that tiny little flaw.

19. Timeless - Taylor Swift

This is also self explanatory. I am sucker for soulmate concepts and AUs. No matter when you met him, no matter what happened, not matter what point of history you guys are in, no matter what - you guys would have ended up together and you fully believe that.

20. Somewhere Only We Know - Darren Criss

(The glee version is better) It's your last day at Hogwarts. Tomorrow, you guys leave for the last time. Emotions are high even though you never plan to lose contact. Heck, you and James are moving in together, but it's such a big change. After dinner, he's whispering in your ear to follow him. Hand-in-hand, you guys are running through the corridors like you did when you first started dating. His palm is sweaty, his he sweaty and nervous, but you are trying not to over think and enjoy the moment. When you gets to the Quidditch Pitch, moonlight is raining down on you, but also candlelight. Sirius and Remus (somehow managed to get here before you) are up in the booth, lighting each candle up with their wands before playing music through the microphone. You're distracted by looking at everything that you don't notice him on his knee. Once you do notice, the wind is knocked out of you. James is so nervous, looking at you with wide eyes, holding an antique ring in his hand. "It's not an engagement ring, just a promise ring - I know how you feel about getting engaged so soon." You guys had talked about it one night early in your relationship. You had said you wanted to be together for at least three years before getting engaged. Then you wanted to be engaged for a year before getting married. You claimed you wanted to just enjoy each stage without rushing through anything. His long, drawn out (rambling) speech took forever, but was also cut in half by how fast he was talking. "You talk too much, Potter." You laugh, knowing he wants you to cut him off. That damn smirk is back. "Then kiss me and shut me up, Love."

i hope you loved it lovely!💛

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sunshine-overload · 11 months

Text

[BSTS] S4Ch1 Heath Reward 5* Card Story

chapter 1 -outside shrine, day time-

heath: Oh, Saki. Are you here to visit the shrine? What a coincidence.

saki: I was just passing by and ended up here... Are you writing a new song?

heath: I'm just listening to our show's song. Since there’s still time before our rehearsal. Would you like to sit with me?

saki: Is that ok? Alright.

-saki sits beside him-

heath: This place calms me down. We're still in the middle of the city, yet the air's colour is different here. This is where I first met you, Mizuki and the others, do you remember that? Ever since Team B was formed we've been fighting. First it was against P, then K, W, P once again and then C. Ah... We've gone against every single team. For me doing so was the obvious choice, but I'm sorry if it caused trouble for you.

saki: Everyone's performances are always a treat to watch. All I worry about is whether or not you're pushing yourself too hard though, you're always putting your all into the stage.

heath: ...Everything eventually comes to an end. Sometimes suddenly. That's why I always want to be giving it my all. I don't want to make you worry... But I guess saying that isn’t very convincing when I'm in the middle of a versus with K. I'm sorry.

saki: This versus... It feels different from the usual ones, could it just be my imagination?

heath: You're not imagining things. It was due to my pride. I didn't want to back down.

saki: So it's your pride against Kei-san's then?

heath: Half right, half wrong. It's both a simple matter and a complex one.

-time pass, sunset-

heath: I should get going to rehearsals soon. I'll walk you to the store, Saki.

saki: (I wonder what Heath-san meant before when he said it's both simple and complicated.)

heath: Hey. If you're... As long as you’re watching me and seeing my willpower, then I'll take to the stage. That way, even when the end comes, I won't be afraid.

—end

chapter 2 -street, day time-

saki: Kei-san, hello.

kei: Greetings, are you headed to the store?

saki: I had some extra time so I was going for a walk, then I saw you.

kei: For you to have spotted me in the bustle of this city, I am honoured beyond words, all I can do is kneel.

-kei kneels-

saki: Y-you really don't need to kneel!

kei: When people feel as though they have received too much, they naturally express that fact. Some things cannot be put into words. Additionally, running into you is an unexpected joy, it is something that I must value above all else.

saki: You haven't changed a bit since we first met, Kei-san.

kei: That is not true, as my respect and affection for you grows deeper with every passing day. If you'd permit, would you like to walk with me? I'd like to escort you. It's about that time of the season that the sweet osmanthus should be in bloom.

saki: Sounds good, let's go and see.

-park walkway-

kei: It's cooled down quite a bit, it's fully autumn now. You're not cold are you? There's a tea wagon nearby, shall I go and buy you some? I wouldn't want your health to deteriorate again.

saki: I'm fine, I've been feeling good recently.

kei: Is that so? I'm grateful.

saki: Speaking of health though, I'm a little bit worried about Heath-san. His face just keeps getting paler.

kei: Causing you to worry about the cast members, as an important guest that I am supposed to entertain that’s unforgivable of me. I still have a long way to go before I'm suitable. I wanted for you to be able to enjoy the show without worry, however... I suppose it's not surprising someone as kindhearted as you would notice such a thing. That's just the kind of person you are.

—end

chapter 3 -starless locker rooms-

heath: (coughing loudly)

heath: (coughing worsens) Ack! Ugh...

heath: (still coughing up a lung) Gah!

-kei walks in-

kei: Here, drink some water.

heath: Ngh... I don't need it.

kei: Do you not understand when to quit being stubborn? This is simply part of my job. If you want to continue being able to stand on the stage, then concentrate on improving your condition.

heath: (more coughing) ...Godammit.

heath: (chugs water) (breathes heavily)

kei: Is Team B dear to you, Heath?

heath: ...Mizuki and the others, they gave me a place where I can sing. They accepted my rage with open arms. Doing whatever it is we want, that's what B is.

kei: So this versus was simply you doing what it is that you want then?

heath: Exactly. That's why I'm gonna win against you no matter what.

kei: Very well, then see if those fangs of yours will be able to reach my throat.

—end

chapter 4 -city, day time, takes place after main story scenario-

saki: (Oh? That person over there, could it be?)

saki: Heath-san, what are you doing out here?

heath: Oh, hello. My condition has improved a little, so I wanted to get some fresh air. I'm sorry for worrying you, truly. Did you have any plans? If not I'd like you to join me for a little while.

saki: Sure.

heath: Let's go then.

-park walkway-

heath: Ah... Those flowers over there have a nice scent.

saki: The sweet osmanthus right? Kei-san said the same thing when I came here with him.

kei: ...Hearing that you came here with him kinda pisses me off. But, well, they make you realise that it's already autumn huh. I've been stuck cooped up in a room, so I guess I'm noticing the season more than usual.

saki: Are you planning to visit the store today?

heath: I'm banned, so I can't go. But there's not much to do at home. I could write lyrics or read some books but... It's quite boring. I want to get back on the stage as quickly as possible. I want to sing.

saki: Your songs are always amazing, Heath-san. Every word and every beat matches you perfectly.

heath: I'm glad you think so. Not everyone accepts them the same way though. That's what's good about it. I'll gladly take those impressions of yours. This versus too, thank you for coming to watch us. I may have won the battle, but I too will have to face it soon.

saki: (Face it soon...?)

heath: I don't know if I will be able to, though.

—end

note: heath lost the actual versus, this card just has the ‘if’ scenario

#bsts heath #bsts main story #bsts team b #bsts team k #bsts kei #bsts translation

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upismediacenter · 5 months

Text

LITERARY: Remembering (Four Acts of Being Human)

i. It was Monday, and like always, I already felt the exhaustion of the rest of the week tingling in my bones. I finally got myself out of bed, and it’s as though I spent most of my energy just by doing that act. My mother was in the living room—I heard the faint music of her favorite song and the sounds of her shuffling inside. I entered the room, and I saw my mother preparing my bag. Suddenly, I realized that I forgot to do it myself last night. I stared at her in guilt, and she noticed me standing and watching her. “Are you hungry?” she asked, thinking I was waiting for her so that we could eat together. I think about mothers and how effortlessly they think about the well-being of others, especially their children. I looked over at the couch and saw my uniform, already ironed and ready to be worn.

She knows that I am already old enough to do these things, and I should be responsible for them.

“I’ll make your coffee,” I replied, but I meant to say: thank you for the ways you selflessly love me.

ii. I stayed up all night. I had just finished a paper for a subject I couldn’t care less about. The caffeine from the coffee I drank to keep myself awake was still kicking, no matter how much I wanted to close my eyes and rest. The world gets quiet at 3 in the morning. Too quiet. My loneliness was the only thing I could listen to. I looked outside my window, desperately trying to distract my mind. My eyes shifted towards a soft light, in one of the buildings across the street from my home. It was a small bakery, undoubtedly preparing its loaves of bread and goods for when the sun rose and everyone else started to wake up and go on with their day. I sat and stared at the bakery’s window and watched the bakers fill the silver trays with freshly baked bread in front of their store. All of it felt like company, and I entertained myself with the thought of the people buying their bread later in the day, and enjoying each bite that would fill their stomachs. The loneliness slowly washed away, and I drifted to sleep, reminding myself that if I felt lonely again in the dead of night, there were bakers awake preparing bread for us to eat in the morning.

iii. The bus shook mildly, leaning slightly left and right from the uneven road. This used to make me dizzy: the inertia from the speed of the commuter bus would make my head spin. It’s more tolerable now, and the ride to my stop doesn't feel as tiresome anymore.

The bus made a stop at a loading area near an overpass. A woman entered; she was carrying her child, who looked no older than four. She held on to the head of one of the aisle seats, trying to steady herself as the bus closed its doors and started to move again. I saw her look around, trying to find a place to sit. Without thinking, I stood up and offered my seat to her. The woman tried to refuse, but I could tell it was in politeness: her tired body shook so subtly you could miss it. I insisted, and she resigned and sat quickly as the bus jerked a little. I leaned my back against the aisle seats, facing towards the woman and her child.

The child looked up at me, their wide and curious eyes stared at mine. A smile made its way to her face the longer our eyes connected. I try to smile back, fighting the awkwardness I felt. The child giggled and reached for my hand. My worries melted away because of the sound—I laughed softly and made faces to humor her while I let her tug my fingers. “She’s usually shy,” the mother said with an amused laugh. My eyebrows raised in response, I looked back again to the child and whispered affectionately, “Me, too.”

iv. You may think it’s silly, the things I write here. The way I list everything that gives me the slightest feeling of joy; traces of connection to others regardless if they know me or not. I don’t feel human most of the time—I feel like some sort of alien, gathering information on humans and noting down what it all means. I look and observe the people around me, and they make it look so effortless. Their kind and gentle acts, the simple ways they make space for each other. I take it all in—learning and adapting from each intrepid detail I can find. I stress about it: am I doing it well enough? Did they finally notice it’s not all natural?

You see, to me, this is serious business: it helps me remember. I get so lost in my despair, that I feel less human. Grief swallows my humanity piece by piece. I worry there is nothing left. Every word and experience I write, I am carving it into my heart and chanting it as a prayer: Life is good. There is still goodness around me, waiting to be seen and explored. Joy comes and goes, but it comes. Forgive me, I keep forgetting.

#MC2025 #MissinglinC #Literary #English #orange tree

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sushis-wild-imagination · 2 years

Text

Say Yes

Seungkwan x Reader

PS: Listen to Say Yes by Seventeen before you read this. Look up the lyrics if you are unfamiliar with the translation.

I am in love with Seungkwan, absolutely delulu.

Seventeen Masterlist <3

Lets pretend Seungkwan is a 21 y/o trainee, writing about actual trainee baby Seungkwan is creepy af, they were kids. Y/n is two years younger so 19. This has been sitting in my drafts for so long. its definitely incomplete, pt 2?

"I'm nervous" you say to no one in particular, your 4 other members looked just as nervous. You had just debuted 7 months ago and you were headed to your first award show.

You and your team 'DR3AM', gets out of the van to your first red carpet. There were so many camera's flashing, so many cameras it was all very new to you.

You were so worried about tripping on the red carpet or doing something embarrassing. You look around and you were so fascinated, you and your group ended up going full out on the dresses and you were wearing a long floor sweeping dress like the rest of your team.

You stand in front of the cameras, waving and throwing peace signs exactly how you were taught to. You go to move away for the next group to come in and go to exit the red carpet and you feel a tug like your dress is stuck on something. You turn around to see what it was, rather, who it was.

Your heart stops.

Boo Seungkwan.

-- flashback--

"What are you doing here?" someone calls out putting their hand on your head that was buried in your knees.

You look up with a runny nose and puffy eyes.

Seungkwan.

You were a trainee at Pledis with the same dreams as your fellow trainees to debut. The girl group and the boy group trainees trained together in the beginning for quite some time, almost a year.

Seungkwan was your best friend. You fought over food this one time in the practice room and that fight somehow made you become fast friends. You developed a little crush on him over the time, it was possible it was because there was very limited access to boys for you. You also went to the same school but you were 2 years younger to him so he graduated before you.

He was also your unofficial vocal coach. He helped you better your vocal abilities a lot. He would tell you about how to tone your voice for evaluations, point out what is better for evaluation. It has been a stress buster for you to sing with him. Maybe all these love song duets with him really made you fall in love with him. You admired him a lot.

You also knew you dating within the trainees was not allowed. That snapped you back into reality.

"Are you crying?"

You wipe your face. You were so tired of practice. You had an evaluation today and you messed up big time. It cost you being in a group that was going to debut in 6 months. It felt like it was going further and further. You felt like a failure.

He got down on your level and patted your head. "I messed up, what if I can't debut? What if I'm not good enough to?"

"These things happen" he says as he continues to pet your head like a puppy. He gets very awkward when people cry in front of him.

"Maybe it's not your time, maybe you're meant for bigger things, dreams are all about timing" he preaches with his arms around your shoulder walking to the snack bar close to the practice room. You nod in agreement. Your anxiety had calmed down and you felt better after crying it out. A few months ago this scene was completely reversed when Seungkwan was considering running away and back home because of all the pressure and was crying at your shoulder. He had always been sentimental that way.

You were now happily eating away at the fish cakes. Your favourite.

“There was something I had to tell you” you start suddenly feeling a little bold. It was eating you alive that you couldn’t take to seungkwan about it. You liked him way too much, your mind was constantly clouded and distracted and you felt like getting it out of your system was the best way to get it out of your head. Even though you know it means nothing because you can’t act on it. Its easier to get rejected now.

You look up to see his eyes were looking somewhere else. He suddenly takes your hand and starts running towards the dorms.

“What?” You ask while following him.

Pledis had caught wind that trainees have been hanging around after practice so they go some staff to patrol around the snackbars so they can keep an eye out on the trainees. Luckily the staff hadn’t seen you and Seungkwan whisked you away in time.

Both of you stopped after covering a distance, it was a little dark, almost 10pm. You were catching your breath with your hands on your knees.

After you catch your breath you hear him say

“What is it?”

“Huh?”

“The thing you wanted to tell me”

“Ah right, its..” you suddenly become shy and second guess if you should come clean or not.

You were suddenly getting pulled into his chest for the second time this evening, you were in the way of a car passing and he did that so you don't get hit by the car.

But being in his arms like that made you very bold for some reason, you won’t get another chance like this, you tell yourself and shut you eyes tight out of embarrassment that was coming.

“I like you Boo Seungkwan”

“What?” His grip on you did not loosen.

“It’s making me very uncomfortable to keep confessing, Seungkwan, I like you like I wanna kiss you I like you”

Maybe not the best choice of words but it gets the job done. Your eyes were still closed when you feel a soft pair of lips on yours. You froze opening your eyes.

You couldn’t wrap your head around this. Was this acceptance, does this mean you’re now dating? But its banned by contract. Seungkwan is literally debuting in 7 months. You’ll barely get to see him even if you do end up dating. What did all this mean?

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest time” he breathes out pulling away. You had the biggest smile on your face. Like you had forgotten about the evaluation and the shitty day you had.

Whatever situationship you had going on for the next week, only lasted for a few weeks. His group got a reality show to showcase their road to debut and he got completely wrapped up in that. You got wrapped up in your practice and evaluations. You realised your career was so much more important. You lost touch once he debuted.

-----

You both freeze looking at each other.

"Y/n"

"Seungkwan"

"I'm sorry" he says pointing to your dress under his shoe and even gets on his knees to fix it for you. It was like a scene from a movie.

"Its alright- its alright" you say while trying to stop him from doing so. He was a senior in the industry, you had to be very mindful of that regardless of whatever history you've had personally.

You find Dokyeom snickering about Seungkwan stepping on your dress and playfully smacks his back. You give him a soft smile before leaving the red carpet.

The next 2 hours your mind was clouded with thoughts of your first love, something you could never act on, never have, for the both of you.

You missed him. You didn't realise you missed him so much because you never saw him. You finally saw him in front of you after years and it made you shift awkwardly and also made you emotional. He really was a pillar of support for you when you were a trainee.

Now 'Seungkwan sunbaenim' felt like a distance was put between the two of you.

Your team member realises something is off and nudges you, you kept zoning out. You nod to her concern. You try not to steal glances at Seungkwan.

You had become so nostalgic and regretful. He was your first love, one you could never have because the weight of your dreams are much larger than your desire to find love. You both realise its wasn’t the time to chase love but now it feels like missed opportunities. You're mind wandered all the "what ifs"

You bumped into someone on the way back from the washroom in the middle of the show so there was no one around, it was an empty hallway and god he looked so handsome. Gosh, You've missed him so much.

There were so many things you wanted to tell him. There were so many things he wanted to tell you, unaware.

"I've missed you too" he replies and you were confused that he could respond to a thought in your head. He couldn't, you had said it out loud without realising. You awkwardly shift in your place.

"How have you been?"

"I'm doing okay" you nod a little agreeing to your own statement.

"That's... that's good" you hear him exhale.

It was never this awkward between the two of you so it felt so unfamiliar, you just lost touch, completely.

"We should get a meal sometime, I'll buy" he says.

"Oh look at you all big shot Boo Seungkwan of Seventeen" you tease and it feels a little more comfortable.

There was silence again.

You hear your manager call you from afar.

"Um, I have to go, it was nice seeing you again" you try to smile. This conversation has to be the toughest you've had with him. You felt a little sad about not seeing him again until it's another award show.

Right when you go to turn, you felt his hand on your wrist that stopped you.

"Wait" he dug his blazer pockets to pull out his phone.

"Quickly, give me your number" he looks around to check if anyone has eyes on the both of you.

It's like your eyes started sparkling at the thought of being able to be friends with him again. You take the phone from his hand and quickly and feed your number in.

You finally smile at him, the realest smile you've given him throughout this conversation. The only part that made you happy was he reciprocated a genuine smile. You could feel your heart melt. You've missed him, so, so much. One year of holding on to him or your idea of him in your head that kept giving you the strength to not give up on your dream.

You were back to your dorm looking at pictures from tonight on social media. You were swiping and scrolling. You laugh at the meme face one of your members made when the big screen camera unexpected moved to them. You scroll some more.

You stop.

It was a picture of Seungkwan fixing your dress for you on his knees at the red carpet. You blush at the picture. It was the cutest picture you had seen all day. You see the comments under it. You immediately take a screenshot, smiling giddily like a teenager again.

‘This looks like a fairytale’

You giggle at the comments. It really looked like a scene out of a movie.

Your phone buzzes and it was a message from an unknown number. You open it feeling a little anxious, it could be anything, you pray that your number hadn't leaked.

'Hi, it's Seungkwan'

#seungkwan x reader #boo seungkwan #seungkwan #svt x reader #svt #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seungkwan scenarios #seungkwan seventeen #seungkwan fic #svt fluff #svt imagines

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earthtourist · 10 months

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Am I a shadow musician? ✹ How music keeps me going.

Am I living thru the lives of my audio engineer partner, friends, and the music I listen to? Because I’m not an active musician, I’ve never taken the time to reflect on my musical journey. But sheesh, it’s been there all this time and is here to stay. And more than ever, I’ve been having a calling to make music. But before I dive into that, let’s pay tribute to everything that’s led to where I musically am so far. (As a pretext, you’ll see me mentioning different places. I have attended 11 different schools, moved 12 times and lived in 8 cities across the US.)

Although my parents aren’t the most musically aware (their taste in music is strictly The Beatles, Elvis, and Filipino serenades)- I always had an affinity towards music. I recall my parents getting me my first keyboard. Then eventually heavy-weighted piano which still sits in my living room today. The piano lessons which I honestly despised because my young wild mind couldn’t sit still. Nonetheless, I never failed at performing for my relatives at family parties. And we never failed at singing cheesy Filipino renditions of f pop songs on Magic Mike. Because my family was extremely poor and didn’t like me listening to “trashy radio music”, the only CDs I had at the time were Gorillaz - Demon Days and The Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business. Luckily, now-that-I-think-about-it, I had the gift of being part of the golden Limewire/pirating era. Literally remember being 10 years old (2006), downloading London Bridge By Fergie. Damn did we all destroy our parents’ computers, but at least we had all of the .FLAC files to our hearts’ content.

Middle school was when I first entered a formal musical setting. In 7th grade, I learned an embarrassingly masculine instrument. A more mellow and melodic low brass instrument, the baritone/euphonium. But unfortunately resembled a tuba. I absolutely loved band. I was pretty bullied when I first moved to Florida in 6th grade. So the movement I got away from my racist enemies, I found my hobby and went all in. Immediately signed up for Jazz Band as a keyboardist and insisted on proving myself. By 8th grade, I had a sort of an identity crisis and embraced my scene/emo kid side- but never let go of the band nerd inside. I became first chair in advanced band then switched to trombone, where I got to learn how to improve on stage. My parents weren’t the most pleased and never went to my concerts. This continued throughout high school, and eventually had the same response to my art career. But that’s a story for another. Although they weren’t the most thrilled- they still did the minimal support to at least keep me happy. Admittedly, my musical taste was pretty trash! A weird mixture of metal artists (Fall Out Boy, Paramore, The Devil Wears Prada, Lamb of God), ska (I LOVED Big D and the Kids Tables), and pop (Regina Spektor, Bjork - these two artists I give total credit to Allison). Aside from getting separated from my family at a Backstreet Boys concert when I was 7 years old- I have insane early memories from Warped tour. I’m having trouble remembering the band. But it was the middle of the Florida summer, with me heat-wave disoriented standing in the middle of the pit. The singer announces something intelligible. The crowd splits and at the count of 3, 2, 1- I realized that I too, am suddenly rushing towards the center. I immediately am shoved to the ground as piles of skinny men fall onto me. With nothing but my scrawny arm left- I reach upwards. Low and behold it’s my tuba playing classmate Charles, who helps me up.

In high school, the music department of VHS became my refuge. Students at my middle school were split between the beachside and inland school. I bid farewell to Kristen, Isabella, Alyssa, Lauren, and Alec. Although entering high school was always awkward, the band room became a place where I truly became myself. Learned to be loud, talkative, creative, competitive- and thrive around other people with the same passions. I had such a powerful friend group. Michelle, Lauren, Taylor, Kara, Jacob, Joseph, Allison, etc. But also honestly, every member of the music department was so endearing, sweet and creative. I found my place and became obsessed. All of my elective courses were taken up by Chamber Winds, Jazz Band, Marching Band, and Wind Ensemble. This might not sound much to you, but all of this involves going to school in the summer, before school starts, and after.

We had the best community an insecure but creative kid would ever want. What really helped is that I had these really extremely passionate band directors, Nick Egan and Wayne Bressette. Mr. Egan would have these huge emotional fits when we wouldn’t march the right way. Or if a section blatantly didn’t practice. But at the same time, we all loved him. He was incredibly encouraging and knew how talented we were. We later discovered it was because he was having huge family problems at the time. My life was still troubled at the time. But he always pushed me to try for All-State/County. Motivated me to go to the closest and most magical thing I ever experienced to Hogwarts, band camp at FSU. He even had me audition to become section leader after he found out I was moving. Maybe it’s because he was used to be a euphonium teacher too. But wow- thank you.

youtube

All of this probably has to do with the fact that that the South takes football seriously. And sequentially, marching bands were epic. And I mean fucking epic. We were the little nerds that helped fill the stadiums and work up the crowed. We practiced for weeks during the summer Florida heat waves. Spent our Friday nights at football games in the rain. Getting high off the bus chants and sweaty fumes. We recording every show and marching rehearsal. I remember one hood-ass band performed these hip-hop trap bangers that riled up the whole field. I’ll never forget those sober and energetic nights.

After moving to Massachusetts, although I attended band for my sophomore year, I chose not to continue the following. The Southern passion unfortunately wasn’t found there. Don’t get me wrong, there were some talented musicians. But god we sucked. There was only one level. Even though I was the top trombonist, I was forced to be 2nd because the older students had seniority. No jazz band. Marching band was still a thing I guess, and we had these town parade where band moms kept an eye of who was about to pass out from the sun. I remember when a flag twirler permanently knocked my front tooth into its now-half-crooked angle. My highlight from the Acton-Boxborough band was the DC trip for the cherry blossom parade. It’s not their fault. It is honestly just because New England schools care more about education than football and band…

The biggest blessing from being at ABHS is that’s how I found my friend group. Kris Roman was a saxophonist whom I knew was in my grade but also in band. But one day in my English class I noticed Kris wearing a light blue band shirt I also had! It was some random ska band (Maybe Less than Jake, Might Might Bossstones, Street Light Manifesto, or Big D & the Kids Table) which was freaking random. Eventually, he put up a flyer that he was having a ska show, which sparked my curiosity. At some point, he had Kevin, the singer DM on Facebook and was eventually added to the friend group. Little did I know, they had dubbed me as trombone girl. They invited me to band practice one day, and then suddenly I was in Mad Frolick. I played maybe 3 shows total and fucking loved it. Eventually, band practice turned into just smoking weed and drinking. I officially no longer attended band class. We got more into listening and enjoying than performing. Except for Kris who got into Berklee! Our whole crew was really into music, but me, Kris, and Colin were really into deep cuts. For example, I honestly wasn’t super into hip hop until Colin showed me the The Beatles X Wu Tang compilation. But I remember then getting really into witch house, trap, trip-hop. That was an epic music phase that paved the way for entering my first cultural experience and city: Boston.

Boston. Oh Boston. This will honestly need to be detailed for another day. But simply put. Having never lived in a city, and entering as a rebellious music nerd was wild. And taste-wise, I learned an immense amount about punk, EDM, deep house, and alternative hip hip. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I’ve ever revisited my time in Massachusetts. I’ve been extremely avoidant of the topic due to how painful the memories are. To the point that I forgot about all the other wonderful memories in between.

Skipping thru Boston, I made it back to my home state of California. But this time, in Santa Barbara, I landed in LA. My time spent in Santa Barbara didn’t go as planned. What started as an optimistic move to begin a new life, ended with another cool set of friends which I called “the tribe”. Ultimately, fled after one year due to a lost sense of self due to partying. It was a fun and frantic blur to say the least. But an eye-opening one that pushed my limits. Who knew that such a beautiful place could hold so much chaos. Those Santa Barbarians. My musical obsession took a bit of a turn there. Where I was forced to play music for a more skater turn-up type of crowd. Learned my bit about sad boy $uicideboys, hyphy Mac Dre, some electronic, and hmmm. Yup, that’s about it! Definitely didn’t spend as much time researching music, but hey- at least it was a good time.

After nearly dying in Santa Barbara, I finally convinced my parents that I wasn’t going to major in anything they wanted. Moved further down the coast, and ended up becoming a graphic designer in in the music industry of Los Angeles. (To this day, my dad still asks if I’m interested in going back to school for coding. But I still love him~). Finally living my dream, I initially lived alone- which allowed me much more freedom for my audiophile tendencies. There was a great deal of healing involved. What seemed to really help with keeping was indulging in the world of new music. As new chapters and events in my life happened, I tended to need a new genre to ease into the transitions. My musical phases ranged from dream psych, post punk, cold wave, electro pop, hyperpop, folktronica, UK garage, all things indie, french house, philly shoegaze, world folk, etc etc. I give huge credit to Spotify's radio, similar artists, and "create similar playlist feature". I experienced the horrors of working as an assistant at a music PR firm. Not that the job was bad, it was more of the revealing truths of working in the music industry. It’s a low-paying, unappreciated, but self-fulfilling sector. Learned how hard and what it takes to become a successful musician. I’ve made incredible friendships within the Berklee alumni. Then started a business with my incredibly talented audio-engineering boyfriend. Someone who I utterly adore and, best of all, shares nearly the same exact music taste- it’s unreal. So here, in the present day, I can’t believe I had a whole narrative to write about my musical journey. It was awesome framing things thru the lens of music. I often find myself wondering what my life would’ve been like I actually pursued my love of music. But the reality is- I always have. Music, annoyingly clichely put, has been my anchor all this time. And will probably continue to be my beam of light in the now and in the future.

follow me on Substack for my latest musings. Check out my Spotify Playlists here.

#marching band #marching season #band geek #band nerd #musician #music #shadow artist #the artist's way #blog #blogger #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #female writers #Youtube

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maliciousmalfeasance · 7 months

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If I typed a live review of my spotify discover would you read it? Too late- (Indie-rock/pop, punk, ???, mid-west emo, math-rock,etc Be warned I am a hater about some petty shit lmao)

Carousel- CJ the X

This song is beautifully produced, the melody of “everything will be alright” sounding just slightly off kilter and perfectly fits the teetering vibes of the song. I love the carnival vibe- lyrics flow so effortlessly. The RUNS BRO. Really perfect window into a probably fucked up breakdown. Hope things got better CJ <3 “I don’t blame anybody but me/ You’re too kind, I am a disease!” oof.

A big brown dog named bagel- Nep

“I kind of wanted to bite-” I love the incorporation of bossa grooves into this indie rock, gay as hell love song. “I feel like we’re gonna marry way too quickly” This feeling. Really cute. Vocals are so sweet- you just kind of want to scoop the vocalist up and hug her.

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN - QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

The best of the worst or the worst of the best? The beat switch up had me actually grooving- good shit. "Go to the zoo and see some fish."

Spirit Week- happy trendy

So cozy, comfy, fuzzy. Whenever I hear fuzzy vocals it feels like my ears are being hugged idk why. Sad but in a kind of melancholy optimist way? If that makes sense. Chords got a little tired by the end but I forgive all sins for fuzzzzzzzz

Glow- Alice Phoebe lou

Aussie vocals perhaps? "When you were dreaming, I looked in. I saw everything." What a sweet, dizzy tune. Sounds like getting drunk in a carpeted room that looks like it’s from the 70s. “I’m a lover, just never knew how” Relatable. Vocalist has this really nice vibrato that reminds me of judy garland or ella fitzgerald, such a nice warm tone. Lots of hug songs in here. I’m a lover of this one. C:

Wasteland- wooded fang

Surf rock type of vibe? Feels like something I’d listen to as the sun sets on a long car trip- about to have a delirious few hours outside of time. I cannot fathom my man’s lyrics but he’s got such a relaxed delivery it’s real fun. Good vibe. "dododododododododo"

Feelin down- primrose

Drum good. Fr the production/recording on these drums is so nice. I feel like im sitting in the drummers lap but in a comfy way- like the rest of the song is absolutely great also but man.. I appreciate the work that went into getting these drums so nice. Also love the moments where the band stops. Love a stop. Satisfying. Ngl the vocals are nice but I wish he’d put a lil more OOmf in it y’know? Just like SEND IT.

I Fade Away- Tulips Ballad, M.E, CAT DAD

The high vocals really made this for me, just came in and I was like aaah yeah. Then together?? Lovely. Such nice harmonies. Only wish there was a little less repetition but Idk that might just be me listening too hard rn lmao. I like the more subtle production bits but like, the main guitar loop doesn’t have much movement and it left me a lil like… what if you did more? Bass good. I like the piano but what if.. different chord?

Grade A- Spill Tab, JAWNY

I… might be getting fatigued from listening to all this stuff but these chords at the end feel like the same as the last song bro I’m a lil disappointed. It’s just so quick and so… clean? In a bad way? Lmao I think it feels overproduced to me. So many production decisions that don’t feel like they serve the song and only a couple that really feel earned. (cheated and gave it a second listen because I felt kind of bad about having mostly negative comments. Both the vocalists are great and the quality of production is real nice, I just think the producer needed to pull back a bit and let the vocalists do their thing, y'know?)

Only At Your Convenience- Graham Kartna

Big Jack Stauber energy.. Perhaps… too much Jack Stauber energy? I can’t tell if this was a deliberate attempt to emulate the style as an experiment or not. The drowned chords, the vocals that jump down suddenly, all the little cartoon samples. OK I had a look and he’s def got a voice and a sound this song just happens to REALLY sound like it’s going for a Jack Stauber vibe, most of his other stuff is similarly drowned and sample heavy but like… distinct enough that I wouldn’t think to associate the two- it’s literally just this song so he is forgiven in my eyes. Peace and love on planet earth. Honestly I’d forgive him emulating Jack really hard too I mean fuck it man do what satisfies ya. (gave this a second listen and idk why I thought it was so close actually this is good and fine.)

easy - waveform*

Oh! I’ve def heard this one before, love the big warm acoustic guitar+sad vocal. Gay and cute. “I’m on the stairs in a beautiful gown, and you look so stupid your teeth on the ground.” Love the imagery in these lyrics.

Diane- Dad feels, Yelle

Holy fuck I hate this man. I haven’t listened to the song yet I’m just like- before I make any comment you have to know I’m severely biased against him lmao He sucks he makes me incredibly uncomfortable to watch. ANYWAY presses play hm. Ok. wow. BAD. First song of his I’ve ever listened to and holy fuck. Worse than I thought. Nothing to like about this. It's so low effort. I’m just trying desperately to tune this trash out while I wait for the next song. Holy fuck. OH THANK GOD

Kill your radio- Heartsrevolution

Cute! Feels like something that would play in a scene while a stereotypical girly character beats the shit out of someone. Is that insane? Idk man. maybe I’m just thinking about violence because of dad. It’s fuzzy. The guitars and vocals got that sweet high fuzz on them. This toes the line for me of being like slightly over produced also but I think it’s just my taste.

Becky- Be Your Own Pet

I’ve heard this one too! It’s just such an edgy teenage hatred song. Just real petty and fun to yell along to. Love the story and the little moments where the band all yells BECKY AAAAA. Good shit.

Dark matter- Little Big League

Oh such a sweet sleepy vocal with nostalgic guitars. Love the way the main vocal kind of leans around the notes, feels so effortless. The slight edge in the tone is used so sparingly but so well, such a cool voice. Oh man!! Sorry band you’re great too I just love these vocals!!! I want more growls but I’m feral for growls- the way that tone is used so sparingly to great effect is lovely.

Better Go- Mel blum

Familiar with this one too. Just a really catchy, chill tune. Love the stops and little rhythm guitar moments. “Guess I ain’t using my body anyway.” Yeah. Solid tune fr. Love the floaty vibe of the vocals.

Random Firl -Late Of The Pier

Glanced at the band bio and apparently the band formed when they were 16/17 which is cute. They haven’t released anything in a long while but I wanna believe they’re all still friends. Feels like a song I’d have played on repeat in 2015 when I was in a Smallpools phase. The vocal harmonies are very sweet, such a nice wall of sound. Left me wanting more!! AA

You Make me smile- Mamalarky

This squishy bass is fun. Another soft, floaty voice- I guess Spotify is recommending all of these because I listened to so much Stella Donnelly last year. Really like the structure of this song, the way that the synths swell and fall again to make room for the guitar and piano… Just really cool vibes. Love that blending of synth and ‘real’ instrument. Yeah. Just kind of vibing here. Adding this one to my likes for sure. I feel like what sets this apart from some of the others is that the instrumentation is interesting and thick without drowning or outshining the vocals which is hard as heck to do right!!

IDC- carpetgarden

First few lines are like. Damn. Yeah. Lyrics are heavy but in a fuck this kind of way. Their vocals are so sweet and yet kind of bored sounding? Genuinely really like the vibes. There’s a great energy to the guitars that makes you wanna dance around, real sad but happy at the same time. Kind of song I’d listen to while on the way somewhere to get myself in a good mood lmao. “Worms in my brain and my eyes are full of daisies, My body’s melting and it feels a-fuckin’-mazing”

Wicca Kids- Pacific Purgatory

This song is underwater! Pull it out!! AAA! Fr tho it’s so muffled it feels like I’m listening through a wall. Kind of a vibe? I do kind of want it a little less muddy tho. I really like the vocals- feels like they’re hiding I wanna drag them out to the front of the mix. This is prob intentional. It is nice, I’m just making grabby hands at all the high frequencies rn. Baby come back.

Vampire- Lupin

The shades in that title and song name. Chefs kiss. These vocals are great, confident and straight shooting. They cut through really well. Oh no wonder I like this, he’s the vocalist from hippo campus. Solid song. Not super my current taste but it’s definitely hitting every ball it’s trying to hit… if you get me. Knows what it’s about.

You’re Terrific - LoudFoxCult

I love the way the two vocals play off each other. This came out in 2018, real cute highschool indie rock vibe and yet- like way better than you’d expect from a highschool indie band so like.. Yeah. Terrific, even.

Scott Pilgrim- Plumtree

Omg I love Plumtree. Punk girls from the 90s kickin ass. I love this band. This is a great song, I like In The Sink better tho. The main lick is super catchy though I can see why this is their most listened to. “I’ve liked you for a thousand years” Repeated over and over and over because yeah dude I’ve liked you FOREVER.

WasteUrTime- Kevin Walkman

Bassline hits. Licking my fingers baby this shit tastes GOOOOOD am I going insane? Idk man this song just has a really satisfying groove going, vocalist has a great laidback tone. Feels perfect for the vibe of the lyrics. Horny songs gotta have a goood bass line and y’know. This one did it.

brittle (wake up)- Meltycannon

I know this band but can't place them. Really love the grunge/hiphop vibes??

When You Are Not Around- The Band Ice Cream

Breakup song if ever I heard one, “I like you more, when you are not around.” Angry and mean in a satisfying way, feels like a diary entry I wrote about an ex. Just like- raw and unfair amounts of bitterness, you know? Kind of shit you’d never actually say. Well idk maybe you would. I’m only mean in my diary tho. Mostly. Cough. “I don’t fucking care if it hurts you”

How Could You Ever Think I Hated You?- Cloning

HAHA opposite vibes completely and holy shit a band from perth!!! The aussie accent feels so comfy to me in music mwa. Feels lik the accent is almost going american in parts- maybe that’s just the Perth accent tho idk any perthians. Jumpscared by the stop in the middle of the song lmao i was like NOO. Guitars are lovely, feels like a real lived-in sound. Love the vibe

Meet me in Montauk- Retirement Party

“Had a head so big it sank into the ground.” The noodles in the guitar always make my heart happy- very midwest emo. Just a very cozy angsty song. This is the type of music that turns my brain to like nostalgic goo. “I’m not sure if i don’t believe in a God or if he doesn’t believe in me” - something my 11 year old self would cry about fr. I love how raw and unornamented the vocals are- it’s a mark of the genre for sure but it just makes the lyrics hit even harder.

I Dropped Out- And The Kids

Feels like I’ve heard this one a thousand times and yet it’s not in my likes. The vocals are swimmin' in reverb and they’re just- asufghdsuigifih I Love The Dreamy-ness. The “I went to graduation" line coming back with altered timing/tone always hits so good idk it’s such a simple thing but with the force of the band crescendo behind it- it’s like. Fuck yeah, you did!

Been thinking- Fishing In japan

SO laid back, these lyrics flow so naturally- the vocals sound half asleep in the best way. Solid band. Nothing really stands out to me more than the silly sleepy vocals which are a very good vibe, kind of wish the guitars were played a little less straight to emphasise the drag of the vocals. It’d be different song. Better? Maybe? But this song is nice too.

And that’s all wowweeeee

#music review #ish?#Idk if I will make a habit of these but I think about doing more writing about music a lot so this rambling technically counts

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sublimecatgalaxy · 3 years

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Truth or Dare- Part 6

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: Nate and readers dad comes home after a night of drinking, only to make a scene and pretty much bash his whole family. It ends with Cal and the reader leaving, both of them going very different places. Where Cal ends up, who knows. But where the reader ends up... in her best friends arms of course.

Song: "Bang Bang Bang Bang" by Sohodolls

Warnings: Swearing, trauma, mentions of drugs and angst.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Sorry I wasn't too active today, lot going on. So this chapter is pretty heavy. But I wanted to stay true to the reader and Nate's storyline outside of Elliot and the readers storyline. So this is similar to the scene at the end of episode 4. Just tweaked a bit. I don't like when it's word for word from the episode so I made it my own a bit with the same ending.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4* Part 5

Rolling over, I hear the downstairs door open and close with a loud slam. I groan sluggishly as my hand flies over, tapping on my phone to reveal the time. Fucking shit, who is here at 1am? I listen to quiet words downstairs, it now being clear that it’s my mom and dad. Huffing, I flop onto my back as I stare at the fan spinning on my ceiling.

Moments later, I hear the door in the room next to me open, the hinges creaking as I sit up. Hearing the floorboard squeak as someone approaches my room, a small knock on the door makes my eyes open a bit more.

“What’s up?” I call out, the door opening to reveal a sleep Nate, rubbing his eyes as he yawns. He looks exhausted and frustrated, his eyebrows pulled together in annoyance. “What’s going on downstairs? Did dad just get home?” I ask, sliding my legs over the side of the bed as I stretch. He sends me a silent nod, the voices downstairs now growing louder and louder as moments pass. Nate rolls his eyes as he backs away from the door, my legs quickly following him and out into the hallway. We walk to the edge of the railing, the sight unexpected as I flinch, covering my eyes.

“Dad, what the fuck, why is your dick out?” Nate asks, turning away from him as my mom tries to argue with the obvious drunk man. He just laughs and zips up his pants, shaking his head.

“I was just telling your mother that I think I’m lonely.” He whispers with wide eyes, my eyes fluttering over to look at Nate as his gaze flutters to the floor. This isn’t going to be good. My mom stands silently at the edge of the staircase, her head in her hands as she sighs. She looks beyond distraught. “You guys shoulda seen me tonight! I don’t know if you guys would’ve been proud… but I think you would have been impressed.” He scoffs, his hands on his hips as he shrugs. Nate moves to lean against the wall, his breathing short and angry as he watches my dad like a hawk.

“Cal, listen to me, I think you need to see a doctor, honey.” My mom calls out, standing up to him as he rolls his eyes, waving her concern off. “I’m not kidding. You’re not you, Cal. You haven’t been for a while.” She worries, my eyes flickering over to Nate as he sends me a reassuring nod.

“No, Marsha, that’s where you’re wrong.” He mutters, stepping up to her as my body shakes with anxiety. “This is the most me I’ve been since I’ve met you.” He whispers, his cocky smile falling to a thin line. He shakes his head disappointedly, my mother stepping back as if he struck her across her face. “I am 100% me.” He whispers, his arms raising at his side as he does a little spin.

“Cal, you’re scaring me.” My mom mutters, putting her hands up as he lets out a bitter laugh, his eyes flickering up to Nate and I. He looks between us, his eyebrows pulled together as he sighs.

“Do you guys know how many men I’ve fucked?” My dad asks, my throat constricting as I look to Nate quickly, suddenly feeling as if the room is closing in on me. He was fucking right. “You know, your brother isn’t here, but, I had sex with a man for the first time when he was in your mom’s belly.” He confesses, my knees wobbling beneath me as tears rise to my eyes. “Now here’s the thing, if I would have said that I went to a strip club tonight, it would be fine. Cuz I’m a man and I’m an animal. But it’s because it’s men, right, that it’s weird?” He asks, stepping up the stairs, past my mom and towards the platform. He rests his shoulders against the wall as he looks between Nate and I.

“It’s not weird, dad, it’s okay. But just…” I trail off, my words getting stuck in my throat as he looks at me, his face shining with shock. “It’s okay.” I add, my eyes fluttering away from him as I fight the urge to have sympathy for the man who’s tearing apart my family as we speak.

“Okay, then maybe this doesn’t apply to you, Y/n. But these two hypocrites,” he points between my mother and Nate, his head shaking with a scoff, “too proud to admit that it’s okay.” His lips tug down into a frown as I look at Nate, watching as he sniffles quietly.

“I’m going to bed.” My mom mutters, making her way past my dad, tears streaming down her face as she avoids my needy gaze. She’s just gonna go to bed? Like this isn’t happening? The need to call out to her, to beg her to stay, to ask if she knew… It weighs heavily on me as I turn back to my dad.

“Living a double life- not my biggest regret.” My dad shakes his head with a laugh, my mothers bedroom door slamming as I flinch. “But you?” He points to Nate, my heart breaking as Nate falls apart beside me, his gaze fluttering away from my dad. “You are my biggest regret, Nathaniel.” He laughs, his eyes fluttering over to me as he scoffs. “You, Y/n, my youngest and brightest.” He mutters, his gaze falling from me. “You fell so far from the tree in all the best ways. I don’t know how we didn’t fuck you up more.” He chuckles, my heart breaking as he says the words I wished and prayed he would’ve said all these years to me. Instead of alienating me, treating me as if I was an outsider. “I take all of your flaws, all of your shit, and I say ‘hey, they’re my kids’, but I feel a different way about men and suddenly I’m the bad guy.” He shakes his head as he steps up to the family portrait against the wall, letting out a forced sigh. “We all have our secrets. Nate, you have so many, it makes me wonder if I even know you. I pretend to.” I look at Nate, his shoulders falling as he peers up at me, his eyes sad and his lips pouted. “And Y/n, I know you hate me and your mother for making you move here. I’ve known about it for years. Your mom found the letter you wrote your therapist a few years ago- fucking sad. About Elliot.” My bottom lip wobbles as I look away from him, turning my whole body as I shake from anger. Nate approaches me quickly, his arms wrapping around me tightly almost as if he wanted to shield me from my fathers words. “It’s probably why we don’t talk, why I’ve felt so fucking guilty all these years even if I think your obsession with that kid has always been weird- like what did you even see in him?” My dad laughs bitterly, sobs leaving my lips at his words. Nate’s heart pounds against his chest, his breathing angry as my father continues. “You rely on odd men, child of mine. Your brother- like since fucking when do you two get alone?” My dad asks, a small, angry laugh leaving Nate as he finally finds his words.

“Fuck off. You can say all the fucked shit about me. Leave her out of this.” Nate spits, my arms wrapping around his waist as I grip the back of his t-shirt. My dad laughs loudly, his feet being heard against the stairs as he makes his way down to the first floor.

“I have lived with you. I raised you two. I am your father.” He huffs, my head tilting to look at him with teary eyes. My fathers eyes meet mine as he shakes his head sadly at me, a disappointed smile on his lips. “I know that you two hate me. I know that you’re going to continue to hate me. I’m so sorry I fucked you guys up with my double life.” He whispers sadly, my loud sobs heard throughout the room as my mind spins with all the words I want to say. I don’t hate you, I wish you would’ve told us, I’m so sorry you had to live a secret, double life, I wish you would’ve trusted me. “This family has made it very obvious that I’m not allowed to make an emotional connection. With you guys, with other people. I have no idea how you guys are close after all these years- never saw that shit coming.” He laughs quietly, pointing between the two of us. “I am an emotional guy.” My dad looks away, his heart breaking in front of us as I close my eyes, just wanting to escape this moment, to be gone. “So, this is farewell.” My dad mutters, my face falling at the words as Nate sighs above me, his grip on me tightening. He knows that I would run after him if he let me go. Nate lets out a quiet sob, his throat stifling it before it can come out. No matter what you thought about Nate, depending on what you knew about him, he did care. Even when he tried to force himself not to. “I’ll see you assholes later.” My dad adds before turning around, his hand turning the handle as he exits the house without another word.

And then it’s silent.

I let out a shuttered sigh, my throat raw from crying and I’m sure my eyes will be red and swollen within a few hours. Nate sniffles loudly, his hand lifting to wipe his eyes as I look up at him. His face falls at the sight of me, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

“What do we do?” I ask quietly, his shoulders raising in a shrug as he looks around aimlessly. He pulls away from me, his arms falling to his side as he sighs loudly. “Nate, is he gone? Did he just leave leave?” I ask anxiously, his head shaking in confusion. “Oh my god.” I cry, my hands reaching up to cover my face as I kneel down, my back hitting the wall as I crumble. Nate just stands there in silence, dealing with the event in his own way as I fall apart, loud sobs leaving my lips. “I need to get out of here, I need to leave.” I gasp, looking up to Nate as he nods, his frame reaching out to help me off of the floor.

“Where do you want to go? I’ll take you anywhere.” He offers, his eyes sad as he looks down at me with a sigh. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t want to be right-” He cuts himself off with gasp, my arms immediately wrapping around his waist as he cries, the man finally breaking down. I hug him against me, his tall frame shaking. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n. I’m sorry I’ve been such a fuck up of a brother, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when me moved.” He apologizes, my heart breaking at his words as I sniffle.

“It’s okay, Nate. I promise. Remember, I broke your nose? I wasn’t the best sister.” I giggle, trying to lighten the mood a bit as he laughs, pulling back to wipe his eyes as he takes as deep of a breath as he can. “Our father just proved to us that we’re allowed to be fuck ups.” I whisper, his head bobbing in a nod as he calms down a bit. “I’m gonna go pack a bag and text Elliot. Will you take me over there?” I ask quietly and he clears his throat with a nod.

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting in the truck.” He mutters, reaching out to pat my shoulder as he walks past me. I sigh, looking up at the ceiling as I try my best to process everything that just happened. Making my way into my room, I yawn as I pull out a book bag, shoving clothes and toiletries into it as I rush around. I just wanted to be with Elliot, just to tell him everything that went down and let him hold me like he used to. Grabbing my phone, I immediately go into Elliot’s contact, seeing a missed message from him.

From Elly: Thinking about you. Rue and Jules are over, they seem fine. If you wanna come over and sleep over I would really really really enjoy that. Like old times.

Relief fills me as tears fill my eyes, the boy reading my mind, my fingers tearily trying to type out a message back to him.

To Elly: I’m in a really bad place right now. Stuff went down with my dad and I can’t be here. Nate’s bringing me over there now.

I pick my bag up, looking around my room as I sling my bag over my shoulders. It didn’t even feel like my room anymore, the absence of my father already taking a bigger toll on me than I would’ve thought. Making my way out of my room, I hear Nate’s truck running in the driveway, the soft hum comforting me, knowing that it means I’ll be out of here soon. Stepping quietly, I approach my moms room, my fist gently knocking on the door. She calls out quietly, the knob twisting in my hand as I peak through the crack of the door. When her eyes see me, she frowns, her hair falling in her face as she sighs.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She whispers, the door opening further as I approach her side of the bed, my eyes flickering over to the other empty side. It feels so empty already. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, that you had to witness that.” She takes my hands in hers, her eyes looking at my bag with a frown.

“I’m gonna sleep over at a friends. I think Nate will probably go to Cassie’s or Maddy’s. Who knows who he’s with right now.” I chuckle half heartedly, my mom's lips spreading out in a sad smile. She tugs me to her, her arms wrapping around my neck as she shutters. “I love you, mom.” I whisper, a small hum leaving her lips as she sniffles.

“I love you, honey. Try to have fun, the best you can.” She mutters, pulling away from her as I send her a soft smile. Making my way out of the room, I shut her door as she gets comfortable in bed. As comfortable as she can without her husband of almost twenty years. My mind spins as to what she’ll do now. Are my parents divorcing? Is that it? It killed me that Nate was right all this time about my father, the overwhelming feeling that I’ve felt for the past weeks now crushing me as the adrenaline wears off. Seeing Elliot will help.

Hoisting myself into Nate’s truck, he looks over to me with a sad smile as I buckle in. My phone buzzes in my pocket, my hands fishing for it as I see Elliot’s name across the screen. Swiping on the message, the air leaves my lungs as I read it.

From Elly: I already told Jules and Rue to fuck off tonight and to not bother you. My arms are open for you the minute you get here. I’m so fucking sorry.

Shutting my phone off, my lip wobbles again as Nate sighs, reaching over to pat the top of my head supportively. The rest of the ride is silent as he drives, silent tears leaving my lips as I watch the houses and cars go by. By the time we pull up to Elliot’s house, he’s on the front porch, staring down at his phone. He was waiting… He watches as we pull into the driveway, rising to his feet as he blows out a nervous breath. I turn to Nate, a soft smile on his lips as he nods me on.

“Text me if you need me, kid.” He offers, my arms reaching across the middle console to wrap around his neck. He lets out a sigh, his hand rubbing my back gently. “Go see your man.” He laughs, shoving me away from him as I giggle softly, my hand shoving the door open as I fall out of the truck. My legs wobble underneath me as I make my way towards Elliot’s house, his hands shoved in his pocket as he frowns sadly. I hear Nate’s truck pulling out of the driveway, Elliot’s feet moving quickly to meet me halfway. His arms wrap around my waist tightly, my whole body relaxing into him as I let out a sigh of relief.

“This is all I wanted right here. To be in your arms..” I whisper, his lips pressing against my shoulder as he sighs. We stand in silence for a moment, him avoiding asking what happened and me not being able to find the right words that convey all the emotions that I feel. “He left. My dad left.” I stutter out simply, the words seeming fake to me as they leave my lips. Elliot pulls away, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion as his lips part to speak. “He’s gay. My dad is gay and he’s been living a double life. He blames my older brother a-and apparently Nate’s his biggest mistake and I fell so far from the tree that he’s proud of me.” I whimper, tears rushing down my cheeks as Elliot cups the soft skin, his thumbs trying to keep up with my tears. I laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, Elliot shaking his head in shock.

“That’s a lot-holy shit, are you okay?” He whispers but shakes his head quickly, waving off that question.. “Of course you’re not fucking okay.” He whispers, leaning forward to press his lips against my forehead. “I’m glad you came over.” He smiles, my chin craning up to look up at him through my lashes. He pouts at my tired expression, his head tilting at me. “Come on. Let’s go make you laugh, hmm? I’m fucking good at doin’ that.” He laughs, taking my backpack off of my shoulders as he wraps an arm around my waist. Feeling my phone buzz in my pocket as we walk, I pull it out to see a shocking message.

From Biological Father: I never told you how proud I am of you. But I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets

Euphoria Taglist:@ssprayberrythings @username-lols

Elliot Taglist: @vintagebitc

Truth or Dare Taglist: @4lyssasworld @jamespotterswifey @daddydraco0 @soobzao @c1rcusl1ght @kaitieskidmore1 @applebree2001 @ritadiniss @lselnerys

#euphoria #elliot x reader #euphoria series #elliot euphoria #nate jacobs #cal jacobs

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visionofhope04 · 3 years

Note

Hii I was lowkey wondering if you would do something maybe like a one shot of neglected where reader is older (18-20) and dipped out of the house and became a singer and one of her songs basically exposed them for how they treated reader and in like an interview she full on tells them how she doesn’t even talk to them and like only Jason

This is literally perfect. I love this idea! I was planning on making a singer batsis reader anyway so here you go! I'll be making this part 4 of the series instead of a one shot. There’s a bit of angst. Btw, thanks so much for your support everyone! I'm glad you enjoy this series! Feel free to request anything you'd like besides smut as well!

This is the longest thing I have ever written so there will be a part 5. I planned on this being the last part but it's just so much. It’s not proofread and neither are all of the other parts because I post at 1 am most of the time lol. Hope you like it!

f/n = friend name

Y/G/N = your group name

N/S = news station

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Current) Part 5

---

You were sick of it. Sick of how even after confronting them about how you felt and almost dying because of it, they still neglected you. You couldn't wait to move out at the age of 18, even if it proved to be a struggle. You had taken mini jobs since you turned 15 and saved up since then. You just couldn't see them anymore as it would remind you of how they treated you that day at that hospital. None of them apologized either. They just pretended it never happened and continued to ignore you. The media had a field day with speculation of what had happened but eventually stopped because Bruce had claimed it was “just a bad case of the flu” which they believed.

Jason was always the only one that would talk to you. He was the only one that actually cared enough to make sure you were taking proper care of yourself and that you wouldn't have a repeat of what happened. He took you places, spent time with you and gave you advice. You even had a tradition where you'd always meet up at the manor's library every week at the same time that same day every week and just have a mini book club together. He always made time for you and never bailed on you.

So on your 18th birthday, he helped you move out. You managed to rent a small apartment in Star City with the money you had saved up. It wasn’t that close to the manor which was a good thing. The neighborhood wasn’t good but it wasn’t as bad as Gotham’s neighborhoods so you would be fine. You could handle yourself with your assassin training if needed. You also managed to get hired at a cafe which was about a five minutes walking distance from your apartment.

It had taken a while but eventually, you had packed all of your belongings into color coded containers and moved them into Jason’s car with his help. You didn’t say goodbye to anyone as you had no friends to say bye to and you knew that your so called “family” couldn’t care less about what you did with your life. ‘This is it, hopefully the last time I’ll ever be near this place.’ You thought. You didn’t plan on stepping foot in Gotham ever again after you left. It would bring back too many memories you prefer to keep buried away deep inside your mind.

The car ride to Star City was entertaining. You and Jason conversed the whole time, telling jokes and listening to his funny tales with the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually, a song you both loved came on and you both started yell-singing along to the lyrics. You wished those moments could be permanent. You were both so carefree and nothing else mattered besides having fun and enjoying yourselves.

You now stood in the doorway of your new apartment, admiring your new home. Jason and yourself had just finished unpacking all of your belongings. You really liked how it looked and thought you both did an amazing job at designing the place perfectly according to your style. Jason, unfortunately, had to leave in order to avoid raising suspicions. Once you both said your byes, he left you to your apartment.

Jason drove back home in silence. He hated to admit it but he would miss you dearly. You were always there for him and helped him with anything. You tried your best to always comfort him and make him feel better on his darkest days and it would always work. Somehow you seemed to always have the right words to say or knew exactly what to do to help him. Out of everyone he was closest to you. He assumed it was because he could relate to you the most. More so how you felt. He’d felt like the black sheep of the family before you came, and he was. When you came, you took that role from him. It pained him to see how much their insults would affect you, even if you were good at hiding it. He could just tell.

Jason made it back to the manor after a while and went straight to the library. He didn't want to deal with the others. After the whole hospital situation, he'd never really bother interacting with them. He hated how they treated you as if you didn’t exist and hated how much pain they had caused you and that they didn’t even care. He guessed that they'd probably be doing something for Damian's birthday and forgot that you were his twin. They probably couldn’t even remember that Damian had a twin.

He made it to the library and pulled out one of his favorite books. He’d read it so many times you’d often joke that he could probably recite the whole book by heart at this point. Sitting down in a chair, he started to read. However, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about what it would’ve been like if they treated you how they did Damian. The both of you were Bruce’s real children. You both even looked like clones of him! At first, Jason thought you would’ve been the favorite twin due to your personality. Even though you were twins, your personalities were polar opposites. You even refused to kill! You were trained by the League so why didn’t you kill as Damian did?

Jason knew you would benefit them greatly if you joined. You had self control, didn’t kill, could act perfectly, lie perfectly, do well under pressure, and not to mention your skills. Being raised by the League may have been torture, but you managed to gain incredible skills out of it. You could take on at least ten guys who doubled you in size and beat them within five minutes. You even bested Damian in spars and he was supposedly dubbed the “better twin” by Talia, so why hadn’t they let you join their nightly crusades like they had let Damian when the both of you first arrived?

Damian passed by your room but noticed something was off. He decided to take a look. He twisted the doorknob and pushed. The room which was once occupied by you now looked extremely plain and bare, stripped of all of its accessories. The only things left were the bed itself, multiple dressers, and a vanity. It looked as if it had been vacant the whole time. It might as well have been. Damian couldn’t really remember what it had looked like since he’s never paid much mind to it but he could tell there was a drastic difference. He knew that you disliked just leaving your room plain unlike himself and wanted at least something to make it look less boring.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Had you finally been kicked out by Bruce? Did you get shipped off to a boarding school like he had been suggesting to your father for years? He decided to go ask. He exited the room and closed the door behind him, taking off for Bruce’s office. Walking down the hall, he suddenly remembered that he had seen you leave with Jason. This meant that you were not at a boarding school like he had originally thought. But then why was your room vacant?

Instead of going to see Bruce, he decided to go see Jason and bring up the matter with him instead. He changed directions and headed to the library where he knew he’d find Jason. It was no secret that Jason was a book worm so Damian had a fifty percent chance of finding him there.

He entered the library and was immediately greeted with the sight of Jason sitting comfortably on a chair, legs crossed with a book opened in his hands. Jason didn’t bother to look up from his book as he spoke.

“What do you want Demon Spawn?”

“I’ve come to obtain the whereabouts of my sister.”

“You mean my sister?”

“She’s not your sister!” Damian exclaimed.

“Well I act more like a brother than you do.”

“Where is Y/N? Her whole room is bare.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Just tell me, you imbecile!” Damian said, growing increasingly frustrated by Jason’s blunt answers.

“She’s not here.”

“Then where is she?”

“Not here.”

“Just tell me already Todd, I have no time for your foolish games!”

“She moved out.” Jason said, giving in.

“What?! Where.” Damian demanded.

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because I demand to know!”

“Okay and?”

“Tell me!”

“No.”

“Why not!”

“Because you don’t even care.”

“And you do?”

“Yes, I actually do Damian! I’m there for her when she needs me the most. I’m there for her while she’s watching you live the perfect life that she’s just a background character in! While you and the others ignore that she even exists! I’m there for her when she breaks down and has panic attacks! And what were you all doing to try and help her? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” Jason snapped.

“Y/N’s fine, I know my twin!” Damian screamed.

“Do you even know what her favorite color is?” Jason questioned in a harsh tone.

“...” Was Damian’s reply.

“Exactly! You don’t! You and the others have never cared about her, so why all of a sudden do you care now? You don’t know anything about her so don’t act like you do!” Jason then stood up and walked out of the room in a fit of rage.

Damian stood there, shocked. Had Jason just refused to answer his question? He was about to follow him but decided against it. Why was Damian going to chase Jason down just for her? She was just an annoyance, a mistake, imperfect. He had been wanting to get rid of her for so long, so why doesn’t he feel relieved? Why does he feel guilty? He decided to stop dwelling on it and get on with life. He figured it would happen eventually if it hadn’t happened then.

---

It had been a year since that day. The day you left your old life behind and started a new life, a better one. One where you weren’t constantly ignored. One where you actually had more than one person care about you. Instead of seeing yourself as a failure and disappointment, you now saw yourself as an amazing person (which you always were). You had been going to a community college in Star City. You made many friends there and started up a music career with three of them.

Their names were f/n, f/n and f/n. You all started off by taking random gigs anywhere you could. You performed covers of songs and would receive standing ovations all the time. Seeing as your group was well liked, you decided to write and produce your own songs. At the age of 19, Y/G/N released their first album. It went viral within a day and everyone was talking about it. After a week, several articles were posted, praising your work. News Stations talked about all the records Y/G/N managed to break. People started to stream it like crazy, and you couldn’t be happier with all the positive feedback you were receiving.

You had been a Wayne once, meaning you had experience in dealing with the media. Since you had already been used to it, you knew you’d all eventually be invited to interviews. So, when you had received an email stating how N/S wanted a one on one interview with you, you weren’t sure how to feel. You weren’t looking forward to interviews with your whole group, let alone one where you would be alone. You knew how unfiltered interviewers could be and didn’t feel comfortable with it.

However, you decided it would be best to go. So here you were, sitting in front of the interviewer in an uncomfortable chair preparing for the interview to start. You had somehow managed to keep a smile plastered on your face the entire time while you were a nervous wreck on the inside. You hoped none of the questions would be sexist as they usually were towards women. However, you had no more time to think about that. You heard clicking, signaling that you were about to go live. Once you heard the last click, you knew you were live and the interview had begun.

“Hello everyone, welcome back to N/S. My name is Jerald Tangleberry and I’m here today with songwriter, singer, and celebrity, Y/N Wayne! How are you?”

You waved to the camera and then answered, “Hello everyone! I’m doing good, how about you?”

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking! So by now I’d assume everyone knows that you’ve released an album with your group. How does it feel to gain more fame?”

“It doesn’t feel any different. Fame wasn’t our goal when we released the album. It was to express ourselves.”

“Mhm, well Ms. Wayne, what inspired you to write songs?”

“Well we know people may be in a tough spot in their life right now and want them to know they aren’t alone.”

“That’s so true. Some fans have been speculating that every member has three songs that specifically relate to them since there are twelve songs in total and three of the songs have the same group member as the introduction part of the song. Is this true?”

“Yes, it is true.”

“So all three of your songs relate to family issues of some sort. Is that hinting that you have family issues?”

“Yes, actually. My family isn’t the best. They ignored me all the time, even when they weren't busy. The only person who didn’t was Jason.”

“You’re saying it in the past tense.”

“I moved out about a year ago. When I was around 14, I suffered from anorexia. My family would always ignore me since they were either busy doing work or hanging out with each other. The only family member that acknowledged me was Jason. I assumed it was because there was something wrong with me. I started to hate myself so much to the point of starvation. One day, I passed out right before a gala and my oldest brother Dick found me passed out on the floor. They took me to the hospital and when I woke up, Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian started fussing about how I’d ruin their image if the media knew what actually happened. They started to yell at me and told me how I was a useless burden. I started to have a panic attack so I kicked them out. Jason stayed behind with me and comforted me. Ever since then I made a planed to save enough money so I could move out when I turned 18, which I did.”

“Oh, wow. So Jason was the only one who interacted with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like the Wayne family isn’t as perfect as they seem.”

“No family is actually perfect.”

“Did your family try contacting you at all after they found out about Y/G/N?”

“Not yet. They’re probably too busy or don’t care.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright, I got over it. What’s the next question.”

“Oh-” He cleared his throat and continued the interview. (So basically I don’t wanna bore you all lol)

---

Jason had woken up late into the afternoon that day. Patrol that morning had exhausted him. There was a huge breakout at Arkham they had assisted with. They successfully locked up every escapee, so today, Jason just wanted to relax until it would be time for patrol again. Even though he was exhausted, he knew he couldn’t take a break. The others wouldn’t and it would be unfair to them if he did.

He headed over to his couch with his phone and a bowl of popcorn in hand, ready to watch random movies the entirety of the day. He set down his phone on the coffee tables and grabbed the TV remote. When he turned on the TV, he almost dropped the popcorn and remote. You were sitting on a chair, giving an award winning smile while you politely answered the man’s questions. He was baffled. He didn’t know why you were being interviewed, let alone on TV at all! You made it clear you didn’t want to have any relations with your family any longer and you couldn’t stand publicity, so what were you doing?

He placed the bowl down and snatched his phone off the table. Unlocking his phone, he quickly dialed your phone number. However, he realized that the interview was live and that he would be interrupting it if he called you then. Deciding to wait, he placed his phone back down, picked up the bowl, and then got comfortable.

---

Tag list: @fake-id-69 @pepelachanel @loxbbg @what-0-life @yoongi-holland @omnivorousfangirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @sexysamsungl @iceddonuts @buginetye @portrait-ninja @azazel-nyx @alculai

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changlix-mp4 · 3 years

Text

skz reaction to you being needy

(with scenarios)

genre : suggestive ,, fluff uwu

warning : use of petnames , suggestive , slight dry humping, slight make out? , playful behaviour teasing , whiny reader, shy reader (depends in some)

❁ reactions with scenarios

❁ A/N : I feel like some are out of context , but I hope you’ll like it tho ,, please don’t mind the many mistakes :(

❁ Feedbacks are very welcomed ♡ let me know which one is your fav :)

✩｡:*•.────── ❁ ❁ ───────.•*:｡✩

• Chan : I think my boy will find it a bit funny and cute at the same time,, at the way you’re whining and all. He’ll of course help you ;) (the loml) ♡

You were sat on the couch staring at your husband working. His beautiful fingers typing on the keyboard of his laptop rapidly. His bottom lip caughed between his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed, totally immersed into whatever he was doing. He was so handsome you couldn't resist him. When he tapped his finger on his kissable plump lips it was the last straw. You got up from your spot walking to him. He looked up smiling at you "hi baby" , you put your hands on his shoulders straddling him. Chan's hands instinctively came to your hips. You buried your head in the crook of his neck starting sucking lightly on the sensitive skin. Chan groaned caressing your sides "what's up babygirl?" he chuckled when he felt your hands on his belt trying to unbuckle it quickly. "I need you" you whined. He cupped your cheek softly "Can I finish-" you pouted playing with the collar of his black shirt "please Chan" you whined again, fingers toying with the bottons already unbuttoning them " I really really need you" you bite your lip grinding on his crotch , looking at his veiny hands "right. now" imagining how they would look all over your bare skin . "pleaseee" you pleaded desperately as you gripped on his bicep. Chan looked at you quiet surprise at how needy you were. It was kind of funny how you acted but you were just so cute sitting on him, all whiny for him. He sighed before getting up with you in his arms "ok babygirl , you asked for it. Everything for my princess" he smirked before kissing you walking to your bedroom. This night was a busy one ;)

( I’m a sucker for husband Chan sorry )

• Lee Know : I think Minho will tease you asf. He will make you needier and beg for him , evil boy #1 ♡

You were in the kitchen trying to find something to eat until Minho entered the living room and sat on the couch. Just his presence can intimidated you. He does the bare minimum and can turn you on easily. Minho was bouncing his leg unconsciously as he was on the phone talking with Jisung. Your legs turned into jelly as you gripped on the kitchen counter to steady yourself. Boy just breathing and you're weak. His thighs were your weakness, they were so muscular , firm just .. wow. He suddenly looked at you smilling , you stopped breathing for a moment before smilling back. Lord why I am like this ? you thought. He kept on doing that for minutes and it drove you crazy . You moaned unintentionally as you thought of riding his thighs. " ok I'm done" you muttered to yourself desperately. You walked over to him sitting on one of his well-built thigh. He looked at you confused before smirking when he realized that you were horny. The pressure of his strong muscle against your throbbing clit made you whimper. Minho hung up and rested his body back on the couch "is my kitten horny?" he said teasingly. You nodded shyly looking away embarrassed. He laughed turning your flustered face to look at him. Glancing at your position on his thigh, he smirked "do I turn you on baby? Do my thighs make you horny?" he whispered playfully. No answer. Minho bounced his leg making you lose your balance and fell onto his chest. "tell me what you want? want to ride my thigh kitten?" he bite your earlobe. A weak "yes" left your throat as hummed, his hands behind his head. "beg for it" he said before bouncing his leg again. You moaned the pleasure and your needs getting unbearable. "p-please Minho". He smiled mischievously "c'mon baby, tell me. Tell me you want to ride my thigh . Say it hm . Beg for it" he purred looking down at your needy figure "please I need you.. I want t-to ride your thigh" he laughed flexing his muscle when you sobbed quietly. "I didn't hear you. Can you repeat my dear?" teasing dripping from his tongue.

• Changbin : He’ll get a bit needy and shy shy shy . Just by the way you whine , makes him whine too ( ugh binnie’s whines tho <3 ) ,, he won’t tease you at all ( uwu my baby ♡ )

You and Changbin were coming back home from a little walk at the park,, when you entered your living room you tripped over Changbin's bag that was on the floor. Changbin immediately ran to you, helping you standing up, one of your hand went to his shoulder the other one grabbed his bicep. The way it flexed under your palm when he helped you up made you froze on your spot . "y/n you're ok?" he asked caressing your hair. "baby are you ok?" he asked again cupping your cheeks. You squeezed his bicep eyes focused on the hard muscle "your.. you're .. I mean" you stammered. His arms were so big , so muscular.. you knew it already but you never really focused on them. You just wanted to touch them and grip on them like when you- "Binnie , I want you" you suddenly whined. Changbin released a breath he didn’t know he was holding "your- you look so good" you whispered shyly. His heart stopped, the compliment turning his cheeks red. How can something so "normal" affect you this way? Were you crazy? "babe" you whined pulling him by his shirt. Changbin whined as you played with the hem of it. "I need you" you pouted grabbing his hands putting them on your waist craving to feel his hands on your body " shit I need you too" he whined throwing his head back. "C'mere baby" he tapped your thigh signalling you to jump. You eyes didn't miss the way his shirt hugged his bicep tighter. Changbin whined again "stop looking at my arms" he hid his face into the crook of your neck leaving little pecks on the soft skin.

• Hyunjin : Like Minho , he will tease you. But not as much as him. I think he’d be surprised . He’ll smirk and chuckle at you , before giving you the attention you’re craving for ♡

Hyunjin ran his long fingers into his soft locks pushing them back , tying them. He bite his plump lip concentrated while doing so. He's so hot. Just by tying his long black hair. yes. His hair looked so beautiful , soft as silk.. you just wanted to play with them , caress them feeling the texture.. pull on them. You spaced out, many thoughts running through your mind.. your eyes started cascading to his beautiful lips imagining biting on them , then to his neck marked with hickeys , then his collarbones , eyes travelling down his muscular thighs.. he was just so perfect. Your mouth ajar, you could had swore you were drooling over him . Hyunjin snapped his fingers in front of your face pushing you out of your "interesting" thoughts "hey pretty one, did you hear me?" you shaked your head. "well I asked what ya’ want to watch?" how can someone be so pretty? His eyes , his nose , his cheek, his mole under his eye (...) "ok” He sighed "hello .. y/n. You spaced out again? What’s going on? What are you daydreaming about? Is something wrong? tell me baby" he said concerned. " I want you" you trailed off . "huh?" he asked taken aback not sure about what you say . "you heard me Hyunjin" you whined looking away. "say it again princess" he smilled teasingly "I want you" you breathed out. He chuckled " hm that's why you weren't listening to me huh . You were having weird thoughts about me" he smirked playfully "weird thoughts? what? shut up" you slapped his arm before pushing stands of hair out of his face. "Come here" Hyunjin pulled you closer by your waist as he bent down to kiss you slowly his hand cupping your cheek the other one resting on your thigh. Your hand flew to his silky hair, pulling at them slightly making him moan.

• Jisung : Boy will get a bit cheesy because he knows he is the reason why you’re needy? Will tease you a bit. He’ll be all over you the second after ♡

Han was talking with Chan and Changbin about the new song they were working on. He was sitting on the desk, one hand holding his ice americano the other one resting on his thigh. You couldn't looked away, he was just so cool today. His red beat headphone hanging around his neck, his red supreme headband, his not-so-oversized black hoodie, black ripped jean.. e-boy Jisung was your weakness ( everyone's weakness). “I think it can work" Chan announced as Changbin nodded. "Ok then, I’ll do that and we’ll see about it tomorrow" Jisung replied. Chan and Changbin waved at you before walking out the studio. Jisung stretched his arms , arching his sore back due to the way he stayed for minutes. Was he doing it on purpose you thought. Because damn the way he threw his head back made you gulped. He looked at you coming in your direction, crouching in front of you " I’ll have to stay a bit longer, if you wanna go home to-" — "no no , I’ll stay with you" you replied right away making him chuckle. “As you wish sweetheart" he kissed your lips softly making you whimper closing your eyes shut. That was so embarrassing , you just wanted to disappear engulfed into the couch as Jisung looked up at you his eyes wide open. "baby" he started resting his hands on your thighs . You bite your lips, breathing a bit heavily, just feeling his hands on your skin turned you on , how was this possible? He got the hint laughing at you "what’s so funny ugly frog?" you rolled your eyes. "are you.. horny?" his beautiful teeth making their appearance . "no! I’m not... you just look good today.. that’s all" you sighed looking at his fingers drawing little patterns on your thigh. You saying that boosted his ego “so .. I’m so hot it turns you on huh?" you glared at him . You stayed silent making him smirk knowing he was right "aw baby" he purred hand caressing your arm slowly. This bitch was teasing . " let your handsome and sexy boyfriend take care of you" he said before getting up taking your hands in the process to make you stand up too . He pushed you closer to him by your waist, kissing your cheek "are you always turn-on when I’m with you?" Jisung smirked his lips ghosting over yours "shut up idiot". He smiled kissing you passionately, his kisses travelling to your neck making you moan . “You must feel lucky to have such a good-looking boyfriend huh?" He muttered against your skin "oh fuck off" you pushed him away ready to leave, cheeks burning . "Don’t be like that, I’m kidding . Come here love" he hugged you, his hand finding its place on your lower back. "Let me make it up to you". Jisung whispered playing with the hem of your hoodie.

• Felix : Lixie , Sunshine , will somehow find you cute and will do anything to help you ( my cute baby <3 ) ,, He’ll give you so much love uwu ♡

Felix was baking, his delicious brownies smelling heavenly. He was so breathtaking as you admire him from your sit. A bit of chocolate on his cheek, flour on his chin .. he looked so hot yet adorable. You smiled like an idiot at your boyfriend. One of the spoon fell on the floor so you rushed to pick it up and put in the sink. "thanks baby" he said kissing your cheek. He blessed you with one of his precious smiles, eyes forming little crescents. His small hand went to grab a dishcloth, his fingers adorned with rings made you feel some type of ways. Your eyes stayed glued on them- "want to taste one?" he asked "t-taste what?" you gulped "one of the brownies?" He looked at your flustered face. "Of course!” you replied excited. Even if you were mesmerized by his fingers, his brownies were something you can’t get enough. You were practically drooling just by looking at them. Felix chuckled before grabbing one to feed you. You opened your mouth before biting on it, your lips grazing around his finger. Your cheeks started heating up "sooooo?" he asked excited. "de-li-cious!! Like always" you hummed. He smiled proudly "thank you baby”. He turned back to the brownies putting some in a box for Changbin. his hands.his fingers.his hands.his fingers.. Felix took one of the brownies to eat. When he turned to you again, you laughed "what?what is it?" he asked confused before laughing with you. "You've got chocolate on your nose and lips" you smiled before laughing again. First of all , how is it possible to eat brownies and get chocolate on your nose? anyway , he was so cute. He laughed before coming to you "clean it for me?" he said cutely resting his flour-covered-hands on your waist. You were about to grab a napkin to wipe the chocolate off his lips , when he bent down. Felix just wanted to be closer so you can wipe it easily but you got a different message . You stopped moving, not knowing what to do, his lips looked so kissable , soft and right now so sweet. And his pretty hands on your waist - lord he is your weakness. Without thinking , you attached your lips to his, surprising him, tasting the chocolate as you lightly suck on it. You moaned into the kiss. You pulled him closer trying to feel his body on yours, one hand cupping his cheek the other one fingers tangled in his hair. You were on fire, you just wanted him. Wanted to feel his lips, his touches all over your body, the cold rings on your skin making goosebumps raise on your skin.. that's what you wanted. You wanted all of him. Felix embraced you into his arms, arms hugging you tightly. You pulled away to catch your breath admiring his little freckles as he smiled at you. Your cheeks started heating up when you realized your bold action, but it wasn't your fault. He was just so tempting. " I want you" you whispered looking down embarrassed "you have me" he whispered back as he caress your hair gently. "like.. you know.." you trailed out "I know honey" he kissed your temple, you were too cute for him right now, his heart flustered "c'mere, let me love you" he sweetly said before hugging you, enveloping your lips into a loving kiss.

• Seungmin : He will make you wait for a long time . Acts like he’s not affected by you , evil boy #2 ♡

Seungmin was practicing his vocal, his singing was so good. Everytime he sings, it felt like you’re listening to an angel. He was so cute, his hair messy, casual clothes on .. he looked so fluffy you just wanted to hug him. You didn't know what happened but when you heard his deep voice.. you stopped breathing. What? Seungmin wanted to change a bit to see and try to sing in a deeper voice. You'd never heard that sound before but you wanted , needed to hear it again. You stared at him fascinated , you probably looked weird and dumb but yea. He furrowed his eyebrows reading the lyrics again and again. When he started singing again and his voice got deeper, your mouth fell open, throat getting dry.. that was so hot. You ears just had one of the best eargasm they ever had (lmao). You released the breath you were holding heavily , getting his attention "so? what do you think? It’s not deeper than Felix’s but i tried" he joked. "you sounded so fucking hot" you said out loud without thinking. Seungmin eyes widened, surprised by your bold comment. "I mean no- no yes hm I meant it was great .. yea it was great!" You tried not to be awkward but guess you failed . He laughed loudly when he looked at you embarrassed face. Why? So much hate tf . Well, hearing his deep voice sent butterflies into your lower stomach.. it affected you so much that just thinking about it made you whimpered. Thinking about hearing those sounds again when you guys are- *wink wink* . You stayed quiet for a moment feeling the wetness starting forming down there when he wrote some note on his sheets. Seungmin noticed the way you were rubbing your thighs and playing with your fingers. He just smirked “you good there baby?" He asked teasingly. You knew he was doing this on purpose. You got up to come sit next to him, hand resting on his thigh as you started leaving little kisses on his shoulder. Seungmin didn’t move, acting like you weren’t there. Even when you started stroking his thigh, he stayed still. “Minnie” you whined “ I need you please” he looked at you unbothered “I’m working sorry” — “but-are you serious?” You asked a bit annoyed when he smirked “no. Now let me work baby. Thank you” he said . Seungmin put a pillow over his lap and rest his sheet on it, hiding his hard-on. He decided to acted like he wasn’t affected by your needy state and make you more desperate.

• Jeongin : cute boy <3 . He’ll be soft for you. He’ll get needy too. Will take care of you ( my babyyy ) ♡

You were standing in front of your big closet, searching for one of your husband’s hoodie to sleep in (that's so fucking cute help). When you came out of the bathroom, you were meet with one of the prettiest view you ever seen. Jeongin was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes glued to his phone as he was waiting for you. The way he was sitting made your head spin : manspreading. (that’s so hot just imagine) . He was just so attractive right now you could just jump on him and devour his lips. When he finally looked at you, he smiled opening his arms for you to come hug him. so cute shit. You smiled back timidly walking to him. " aw you're so cute baby" he said cutely when he took in your appearance. His over-sized hoodie reaching the middle of you thigh. Jeongin pulled you closer to him to hug you tightly, resting his head on your tummy. The butterflies. The fucking butterflies. You felt this familiar feeling in your lower stomach making you weak and bite your lips. "so warm" he giggled. He looked up at your flustered face "what is baby?" — "nothing" you smiled lightly. "hm , so what about..cuddle?" he smiled widely. You chuckled before he pulled you on his lap, one hand on your waist , the other one placed on your thigh. You were sat right on his crotch and you would have lied if you said you weren't turned on. You shifted a bit on his lap trying to get comfortable and try to ignore the little "spark" between your legs . But he made it difficult by the way his fingertips caressed their way up and down your thigh. A gentle , innocent affectionate gesture that made you weak to the point you let a soft moan past by your lips. His touches so soft and so pleasing.. so good. Jeongin looked at you in your eyes , mouth ajar as his cheeks turned a light pink. "I'm.. I'm sorry-" you started before he hushed you caressing your sides. "you're so cute" he smiled lovingly, cupping your cheek before attaching his lips with yours. He kissed you gently, forgetting about your surrounding. You started grinding on him slowly unconsciously , the moment exciting you a bit. Jeongin moaned into the kiss pulling away to breath. "baby" he whispered "look at what you did" his gaze on his bulge as he gripped your hips grinding them foward again, pushing you harder on him. " 'feels so good" he bite his lips , eyes still focused on your crotches. You threw your head back moaning his name, your fingers pulling harder on his locks. "let me take care of you my love" he sucked softly on your neck before laying you on your back gently, hovering you his beautiful hands already playing with the hem of you hoodie, rising it a bit to reveal your cute panties "so pretty" he whispered holding one of your thigh before his lips travelled to your throat leaving little marks there...

(husband jeongin is such a concept. bye)

—

a/n : it was fun writing those :) ,, I'm considering to continue writing Jeongin's one ,, & maybe felix , lino

(+) it was an old request, actually my first one , it was from yer-cute-when-you-scream if I remember

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idk-1224 · 2 years

Text

What Will It Take? (Part 1)

Anthony Bridgerton x (F) Reader Words: 1384

Summary: Anthony was head over heels for Siena Russo. So when she called things off with him, he was heart broken. He spends months in despair. Until he meets Lady y/n. Lady y/n is stubborn, intelligent, gorgeous, and kind. She’s perfect. But it takes a while for Anthony to realize how perfect she is.

TW: Siena Russo slander. I don’t like putting girls against girls or anything like that but for the sake of this, I am. Cuss words. PINNING. Dumbasses being Dumbasses. The Sheffields like don’t exist. Lol. This will be a multiple part kind of thing, so the triggers don't apply to all of them.

Despair

Heartbreak

Weakness

Whatever it was Anthony Bridgerton was feeling was not something he liked

Siena Russo

The opera singer

The love that could never be

It was because of her that he felt this way

He hated it

He despised it

But he felt it

And there was no undoing it

No making it better

Or so he thought

Lady Y/n

Daughter of the Duke of Alastair

3 older brothers

Lambert

Leonard

Mathis

All very protective

She Loved to read write and adventure

Very good friends with Daphne and Eloise

Miss y/n was to debut the same year as Eloise

And how very excited she was

Two of her older brothers Lambert and Mathis were already happily married and have children

And that is all y/n has ever wanted

She didn’t want a marriage without love

And unlike many other young lady’s, she didn’t have to

She was free

Well as free as a young lady could be in her time

-Y/n and Eloise’s Debut-

“Make hast dear sister.” Says Leonard

“Lambert will kill me if we are late.”

“I’m coming!”

Leonard leaned against the wall outside his sister's door and waited until the said door opened to reveal the breathtaking sight of his younger sister.

“Ready.”

“Dear sister, you look breathtaking.”

“You think so? Oh I do hope the queen thinks the same.”

“Come now the carriage is ready.”

The pair walked through the halls of the place they grew up in. Yet it was different now. Mathis and Lambert were now gone. And y/n was about to be pushed into the eager arms of the ton. Neither were prepared for what was to come.

They boarded their carriage and were off.

When they arrived Lambert and Mathis were already there.

Lambert being the oldest would mentor his young sister through the trying time of the social season.

Their mother, Lady Emma had passed away early in Y/n’s life.

So in respect of her dear friend Lady Danbury offered to sponsor the young debutante.

“Lady Danbury” she greeted the woman.

“Lady Y/n. How lovely it is to see you.”

The young girl smiled and looked ahead.

That’s when she saw him.

Anthony Bridgerton

Oh how long she had been pinning for the man. Ever since she was a child she dreamed of being with him.

-flashback-

Young Y/n Darling at the young age of 10 was sitting in her bedroom located at Aubrey Hall. She traveled with the Bridgertons every year.

She was working on her embroidery when suddenly interrupted.

“Y/n!”

“Yes Daphne?”

“Oh you must come listen to the song I just learned on the piano forte.”

“Ok then”

The two girls made their way through the halls of Aubrey Hall.

Before they could reach their destination Eloise found the two.

“Oh Y/n, I was just searching for you, do you think you could help me pick out a new book to read? You always have such good opinions when it comes to them.” The young Eloise asked.

“Oh Eloise I would love too, but Daphne has asked me to listen to her piano forte.”

“Oh but she only ever plays the same song over and over again.”

“No I do not!”

“You do too! And y/n is my friend! Not yours!”

“Oh but I am both of your fri-.”

“She is my friend too!”

“She is only friends with you beca-“

“Eloise, Daphne! Enough! Give the poor girl some room.” Interrupted Anthony Bridgerton.

“To resolve this conflict, I shall ask miss y/n if she will accompany me for a stroll, while you two reconcile.”

Y/n just stood there wide eyed and mouth gaped.

“Shall we my lady?”

“W-We shall.”

The two walked arm in arm although the young miss certainly was a lot smaller in size then the viscount.

“How are you Miss Darling?”

Anthony asked once they entered the garden

“Just fine my Lord. And you?”

“Likewise. And please call me Anthony, we have known each other since we were young.”

“Well then I believe you shall call me Y/n”

He simply smiled and the two carried on with their stroll.

“You are too kind to my siblings, every now and then you must learn to speak for yourself, to say yes and no when you actually mean it.”

“But then-“

“Ah ah no buts, at least try, I assure you it will solve future conflicts such as this one.”

“Then I shall try.”

“Good. Shall we get you back then? Perhaps they have resolved their conflict?”

“No, I wish to stay out here a bit longer.”

He chuckled, “Very well then. I told you it will work.”

That was when he gave you your voice, you realized then the power you had saying yes and no when you actually meant it.

It was then that you started to feel something for the viscount, but you didn’t quite know what it was then.

-end of flashback-

Oh the scandal…

She knew it was wrong, but he was just so kind and caring.

And oh how he was handsome.

She often found herself having to force herself to look away from him.

Such predicament is what she found herself in at the moment.

She was pulled from her trance when her dear friend Eloise called her name.

“Y/n! Oh how dreadful it is, isn't it?” She said referring to her outfit

“Oh Eloise, you look beautiful. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh but I do!”

“Eloise. You will be just fine. How about I appeal before you. Then you can have a little extra time to prepare yourself.”

“Yes, yes that’s perfect. Thank you y/n.”

“Of course.”

“Introducing! Miss Y/n Darling. Presented by the Great Dame Lady Danbury!”

Y/n gracefully made her entrance.

So focused on not making a fool of herself she didn’t notice the intense gaze of many male spectators.

Including a certain Mr. Anthony Bridgerton

She had made her way to the queen and dropped into a perfect curtsy.

“Beautiful.”

“You my dear are the epitome of grace.”

“Can you believe it, Eloise! She called me the ‘Epitome of Grace’.” She squealed

“Yes. I can believe it. Because you are.”

“Oh I am so sorry Eloise you must feel horrible for how your debut went. That Lady Whistledown, always making things worse.”

“No no, I am actually quite grateful for it.”

“You would be.”

The two girls bursted into a fit of laughter.

“Just imagine all the suitors you will get tomorrow. Are you thrilled?”

“Yes, but you don’t think I will get many suitors do you? Yes, perhaps a few but it’s not like the whole ton will be banging down my door.”

“You would be surprised. I reckon you’ll get at least thirty suitors.”

“Thirty Suitors!?”

“Who will be getting Thirty Suitors?”

Asked a voice Y/n knew all too well.

“Y/n. Don’t you think brother? At least thirty if not more.”

Y/n turned to the man. And immediately regretted it.

There he stood, clad in the same attire from before, but he looked more relaxed, more at home.

“Ah, well of course, being this year's diamond will attract all the suitors of the ton, but there are only about thirty suitable suitors, but even they are questionable.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so, my lady.”

They stood in a short silence gazing at each other intently.

“Y/n didn’t you say you had to meet up with your father later?” Interrupted Eloise who was oblivious to the intense staring contest.

“Oh my, yes I was to meet up with him for afternoon tea, I must make haste I will be late.” She said while gathering her things.

“Will you come around again Miss Darling?”

“Perhaps, Eloise and I plan to buy some more ribbons tomorrow so I will be with her all day.”

“Yes, well it was a pleasure.” Anthony said while he exited the room.

“I am sorry about him, he’s been moping around for some time now.”

“Whatever for?” It wasn’t her business and she knew that, but she had to know.

“I’m not quite sure, he’s very closed off, always has been.”

“Hmmm”

That is the end of part one, there will be more soon, if you wish to be tagged let me know. 🤍🤍😁😁

#anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction

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mcufox123 · 3 years

Text

Poofed

WandaxFemReader

Summary: Wanda copes with a life that may not have you in it.

Warnings: Devestation

A/N: This story literally is heartbreaking but in a good way I think. Let me know what you guys think!

****************************************************************************************************

You wake up suddenly to your hand being kicked. It was wrapped around your wife’s very pregnant belly as you both tried to sleep through the night. You smiled dreamily in your sleepy state as you were reminded of the twins who would be born any day now.

You and your wife were a part of the famous superhero group who saved the world numerous times. Shortly after she joined and got acclimated with the team the two of you started dating. It has now been 7 years of being together, 3 of them being married. You had moved out of the compound and were now living in your dream house in the countryside, the perfect place for your growing family.

While Wanda was able to take leave months ago as none of the team wanted your children hurt, you still went to work every day. The team promised that once they were born you would be given 3 months to spend with your family but until then “there were still bad guys out there” in Tony's words of course.

You checked the time to see you still had a half an hour to spare before you had to be at the compound. You made Wanda breakfast and set it up next to her then you got ready for your day. You showered, got changed and before you left you wrote two sticky notes to leave on your wife’s mirror. One saying, “I love you more than chocolate chip cookies.” The second said, “You are looking like such a hot mama today.” You left a kiss on Wanda’s forehead and whispered an ‘I love you’ then you went to work.

Wanda woke later that morning with a smile on her face. She saw the breakfast you set up and immediately started eating because she was starving. After her breakfast in bed, she showered before seeing the notes you left. She actually laughed out loud. Even when you weren’t home you always made her day. She sent you a quick text.

Hi my love! Thank you so much for breakfast! I love you more than tv shows!

After that Wanda went about her day normally before she got bored and decided to go to the compound. When she arrived she saw Bucky and Sam watching tv.

“Hey boys,” Wanda said as she set her bag on the counter before walking over and sitting in between the two.

“Hey Wand, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?” Bucky suddenly jumped into protective older brother mode.

“Sit.” Wanda ordered him, glaring at him. She appreciated the gesture, but she was pregnant and not handicapped.

“Yes Ma’am.” Bucky sat not wanting to make Wanda upset.

“Damn man, if she needs something she’ll tell us right?” Sam asked, turning to Wanda.

“Exactly thank you Sam.” They continued watching TV comfortably every once in a while bantering about something.

“Hey guys, where was y/n’s mission today? I usually hear from her by now if she’s going to be later than 6.” Wanda said realizing the time was now past 6 and she still hasn’t heard anything.

“I think they were in Florida today,” Bucky said, scratching his head trying to remember what Steve told them this morning. “Some mission with aliens that Carol warned them about. They’ll be fine. You’re welcome to stay here in your old room though.” He finished. Wanda thanked him before getting up to move to the kitchen, both men hot on her tail.

“Who is hungry?” Wanda asked as she started to get ingredients out for a caprese chicken dish and some pasta.

“Me, for sure. I missed your cooking so much Wanda.” Sam said, taking a seat at the counter pulling out his phone to que up some songs to listen to while you cooked. Dinner was good and shortly after Wanda went to bed in the now foreign space and begged for sleep to consume her. It was hard because she grew used to your arms wrapped around her with your face pressed into her hair. That night she didn’t get much sleep. She sent you a text letting you know she was sleeping at the compound before she rolled over and tried to shut her eyes.

The following morning Wanda woke up to a still empty bed. Now she started getting nervous, she searched for her phone to see no new messages. She took her time getting out of bed but quickly threw on the clothes she was wearing yesterday before heading to the kitchen.

As she was almost there she could hear Steve talking.

“So Wanda’s here?” Steve asked the person he was talking to.

“Yeah she came yesterday and we just told her to stay. So wait, you're telling me that these things just hit a button then poofed with Tony and y/n? Are they alive?” Wanda could now tell the other person was Bucky. She felt like she couldn’t breath, feeling the wind knocked out of her at the words she just heard. She couldn’t hide any longer and barged into the kitchen.

Her hands instantly went into a fighting position holding Steve in a tight grasp so he couldn’t escape.

“Where is she Steve? What happened? You promised me no life or death missions. You promised me she would always come back to me. She said she would never go away.” Wanda said while breaking towards the end and crumpling to the ground. Bucky went over and wrapped her in a hug.

After a few minutes Bucky put Wanda on the couch as now the rest of the team came in and Pepper with her two small children. Steve went over what happened on the mission and how they have no trace of either of their teammates. He made everyone aware that Thor, Carol, and the Guardians of the Galaxy were all in search of their friends.

Wanda felt so lost. Your twins were expected any day and you were gone. How was she going to do it if you weren’t back? How was she going to be strong for your two little ones if you weren’t there? The questions swarmed her head as she tuned out the rest of the team. After hours of talking the team now turned to their tuned out friend to offer some support.

“When was the last time you ate?” Clint asked Wanda, putting his hand on her shoulder to ground her.

“I don't know.” Wanda shook her head still thinking a million miles a minute not making eye contact with anyone.

“Wanda you need to eat. You have two other people to worry about. Y/N will be ok, she will come back.” Steve said, sitting next to her. She collapsed in tears and that was how the rest of the night went, crying and the team forcing Wanda to eat.

The following days Wanda barely left the bed. On the 4th day of you being missing Wanda felt a sharp pain in her stomach. Her eyes started to tear up from both pain and the realization of what was happening. She was going into labor without you. She screamed out in pain and heartbreak.

Steve rushed into the room as soon as he heard Wanda scream, “It’s ok Wanda we’re here, let's get you to the infirmary.” he held Wanda’s hand all the way down to the infirmary. Steve sent a text out to the rest of the team to let them know what was happening and soon familiar faces appeared in Wanda’s room.

They took shifts as they waited for the time to push. Natasha talked about the makeshift nursery they set up for Wanda, Bucky talked about how he got clothes for Wanda and the babies from Wanda’s home, Steve talked about schedules and shifts he made up to help Wanda, Sam bought stuffed animals, and Peter offered to take the babies to the playground. Wanda just sat and listened, grateful for her friends and the help they were giving her. All she could think about was how you should be there.

You should be freaking out everytime Wanda had a contraction, asking if she should get the doctor. She knew you would try to find her favorite shows on the TV and rub her back whispering soothing words. She needed that more than anything, she needed you. She needed you to be there for your twins first breath, for bringing them home, for the countless sleepless nights.

Soon the doctor entered the room, “Wanda it looks like you are ready to push,” nurses entered behind them with all of the equipment needed for the babies’ delivery. Wanda nodded trying to prepare herself for the experience that was moments away. “Would you like anyone in the room with you?” and Wanda did, she wanted you but you weren’t there. So she asked her best friend Nat to stay with her to which Nat agreed.

They got into position and Wanda endured the hardest fight of her life, childbirth. She could’ve sworn she broke Natasha’s hand from how hard she was squeezing. Soon a melodic sound broke through the pain as her first child was born. “It’s a boy!” she heard and she started to cry of joy. She had a son. The joy didn’t last as she felt another urge to push. “And we have another boy!”

Wanda was so relieved that both boys were here and healthy. You kept telling her that you could feel it was two boys, two football players, you would say. They brought the babies to wanda and laid them on her chest. Nat was quick to snap a quick photo before exiting the room to let the rest of the team know, giving Wanda a moment with her children.

Nat walked out of the room to see no one in the waiting room. She asked the nurse where everyone was who informed her that they were outside. She walked quickly outside hoping you were back. Instead she saw someone else. Tony on his hands and knees crying while the rest of the team was surrounding him.

“What? Where’s Y/N?” Bucky was the first to speak. Everyone was too scared to hear what happened, why Tony was back but not Y/n.

“I don’t know. One minute we were in a room being questioned the next thing I know y/n lunged at the guy questioning us. She was fighting with him for the poof thing. Then after she successfully got it we realized only one of us could go back while the other had to hit the button. She didn’t even give me a second. And now, now here I am and she is there. Where’s Wanda I have to tell her something?” Tony suddenly looked frantic.

“No, you’re going with Bruce to do everything you can to get Y/N back.” Clint said, poking Tony in the chest. “You are not doing anything else until she’s back. And you definitely are not seeing Wanda. That girl just had to give birth to twins without y/n, she’s destroyed.” Clint walked back into the infirmary while everyone was still in shock.

“I ‘m sorry. I ‘m going to bring her back.” Tony promised before walking towards the lab to get in contact with the people who were already searching for y/n.

Meanwhile Wanda was still in awe of the two boys in her arms, memorizing all of their features. She knew their names, you and her had picked out the names for all twin scenarios and for two boys it’d be Tommy and Billy. She started to hum a tune she remembered as a child. She started to get upset as she remembered the last time she hummed the song.

You had just walked in from a long day helping in the lab and training. You saw Wanda in the kitchen cooking dinner before turning to see you. She gave you the biggest smile as she came over to wrap her arms around you. Her pregnant stomach left some room between you two as she reached up to plant a kiss on your lips.

“How was your day my love?” she asked walking back to the stove to turn it off and putting the food on the table.

“I'm so tired. Tony was going on about this new feature he wants to make for the quinjet and then Nat beat my ass at training. I don't want to do anything.” Wanda sensing your mood guided you to the couch she sat then pulled you down so your head was on her lap. She played with your hair to calm you down.

“The babies were very active today kicking the heck out of me” she giggled to which you turned your face to her stomach. You placed your hands on her stomach.

“Hey you two, stop kicking mama. I know you want to play football but you're gonna have to wait till you come out of there.”

“How do you know they’ll want to play football?” She questioned you.

“I can just feel it in my bones.” You said as your eyes fluttered close. Dinner was long forgotten as Wanda continued to play with your hair humming the tune and you drifted off to sleep.

The following week after the twins’ birth was very hard for Wanda. She went through all the firsts by herself. Instead of going through the first night with you she went through it alone. Instead of bringing them home together with big smiles she took them to her room in the compound. Instead of introducing the twins to the team with you they were all by Wanda’s side before she could introduce them.

She spent the nights in bed. Someone on the team was always sleeping on a cot to help her during the nights. It had been 11 days since you went missing and you had already missed the biggest week of your little family’s life.

On the 11th day Wanda left the sleeping twins with a sleeping Uncle Bucky and roamed around the compound seeing you everywhere she went. In the kitchen where you both cooked dinner for the team all the time. On the couch where you spent countless nights watching tv shows and movies. In the training room where you pinned Wanda more times then she likes to admit. Then she headed towards the lab.

She stood shocked.

Right in front of her was a man that betrayed her. A man that you had put your life in the hands of who disappointed you. She stormed at him in a fit of rage. “You son of a bitch! Where is she? What did you do to her? I'm going to kill you!” Wanda screamed at him while hitting his chest. Tony let her, knowing that this was what she needed. Wanda continued to curse him out before Tony finally grabbed her hands.

“Stop. I get it. I'm the bad guy, and I deserve to be. I messed up the biggest moment of both of your lives. You can keep hitting me, knock me out, whatever you have to do. There is something I have to show you first though.” Tony let go of Wanda’s hands before walking to the screen to pull up a video for Wanda.

When it came through it was you. You were sitting in a bare room and Tony was asleep on the floor behind you. Your hair was a mess and you looked exhausted.

“Friday is it recording? Yes? Ok here we go. If anyone is watching this I probably did something stupid and I ‘m so sorry. If it’s Wanda hi babe. Man, I think it’s been 3 days and I miss you like crazy. I ‘m trying to figure out a way to get back to you and the babies I promise.” Wanda can feel the tears rolling down her face. “Well I think I have a plan. You aren’t going to like it but I promise you that it will all work out and I will come back to you. Babe I don't have much time they are coming back. I love you and our twins so much. I am going to do everything to come back to you.” Then the screen went black.

“Play it again, Tony.” Wanda asked Tony and he did. She watched it about 10 more times. Just hearing your voice made Wanda feel better.

“Thank you for showing me that. Can you send it to me?” Wanda asked, keeping her eyes locked on yours on the screen. Tony nodded and Wanda walked out of the room back to the twins.

After that day Wanda had hope. She knew you would come back to her. She watched that video every night on repeat to fall asleep too. She played it for the twins and other videos of you so they could hear your voice. The team noticed the change in Wanda as well. They were very skeptical but didn’t question her mood change.

After a month of you being missing Wanda had almost given up hope. Tommy was fussy and Billy had an explosion in his diaper and it was the first time the team had all gone on a mission so no one was with her. She was crying while changing Billy’s diaper while using her powers to rock Tommy’s baby seat.

“Ah boys, it’s ok mamas here. We’ll be ok sh sh sh.” She was so frustrated she couldn’t even get the diaper on Billy. There were a few more minutes of Tommy crying and Billy and now Wanda before she heard Tommy stop. She didn’t even turn around; she figured he just fell asleep.

When she turned with Billy in her arms she was shocked to see the person standing in front of her. It was the love of her life with her son. A sight Wanda never thought she would see. You looked skinnier, tons of bruises and cuts littered your skin. Your clothes were tattered and your hair was a mess in your face. Wanda thought you still looked just as beautiful. She had Billy in her arms as she slowly walked towards you not believing her eyes. She reached up and touched your face to make sure you were there. And you were.

With Tommy in one hand you reached up with your other to place on top of Wanda’s. “Hey there stranger.” You said with a chuckle. She wrapped her arm around you and started sobbing. You put Tommy in the bassinet still holding onto Wanda then reached for Billy placing him next to his brother. Then you did the thing you had been wanting to do forever.

You held onto Wanda as she sobbed in your arms. You stroked her hair while whispering “I’m here,” over and over in her ear.

Your arms were around Wanda but your eyes were on your twins. You soon began to cry, realizing how much time you missed. Wanda pulled away when she felt something drip on her shoulder.

“It’s ok my love you’re here now. You won’t miss anything else. You’re here.” Wanda promised with her hands on either side of your face to make you look at her. You leaned down and gave your love a long awaited kiss. Both of you being grateful to have the other there to comfort each other.

You soon pulled away from Wanda to look at your twins.

“I told you two football players.” You chuckled as you picked up the other baby who you have not held yet. “Who is who?”

“That’s Billy and this is Tommy.” She said while picking up the other baby. You both made your way to the bed with the twins and got comfortable next to each other. You stared at them trying to take in the two people who were now your own.

“I’m so sorry I missed all of it. I tried to get back as fast as I could. I really did. I thought when I sent Tony back it was going to be hours and I would be back. But I see metal man's mind isn’t what it used to be.” You rambled on. You wanted Wanda to know just how sorry you were.

“It’s ok. You’re here now and I’m not letting them take you anywhere. You’re staying with us for as long as I want.” Wanda assured you. You sat with your family for hours just basking in their presence and soaking it all in. You changed every diaper and did anything Wanda needed until she ordered you to go shower. While watching your 7th episode of grey's anatomy you dozed off with the babies between you and Wanda.

You only woke when you heard the rest of your rag tag group of friends enter the compound from their latest mission not even trying to be quiet. You turned to see Wanda still awake nursing Billy.

“Should we scare them?” You asked Wanda with a grin on your face. “You can if you want.” She didn’t feel one way or the other. Knowing how much the team helped her while you were missing.

You stood up and hid behind the closed door. It opened halfway.

“Hey Wanda how’d everything go?” Steve asked, you could feel multiple people enter the room however.

“Boo!” you jumped out to scare the team. Bucky not knowing it was you punched you in the stomach.

“Ah shit sorry y/n.” he said before recognition came to his eyes and the others. “Wait y/n?” he stared in disbelief. Nat was the first to tackle you in a hug before the others were soon to follow.

“How, how, how did you get back?” Tony asked with tears in his eyes.

“Well I thought you would figure it out quickly once I sent you back but that didn’t happen. I kept waiting and finally decided to just do it myself. I befriended another prisoner who promised to poof me back. And then when they did I was in the training room. I got Wanda’s text and just assumed she was still here and made my way up to her room.” They all said how happy they were that you were back. You ate dinner as a family and spent the night in your room with your beautiful wife and boys.

“Let’s go home tomorrow.” you suggested to your half asleep wife in your arms.

“You are my home.” she said and you felt warmth well up in your chest.

“I love you so much darling.” you nuzzled closer to her.

“I love you more.” and you both fell into a deep sleep which neither of you had had for a long time.

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