#so this could actually be translated as her saying 'the best of children' as well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 4 months

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Aşk-ı Memnu | JJK

Pairing: non idol! Jungkook x fem! married! Reader

Summary: What is prohibited, it's desired the most. Or in which you tangle yourself in a forbidden love with Jeon Jungkook while being married to an older man. Yet it is also said that forbidden fruits taste the best.

Warnings: fluff, angst, forbidden love, food ingestion, cheating, age gap, mentions of sex, alcohol consumption (during dinner), lying, mentions of death, reader is described to be shorter than Jungkook, (let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 1.8k

~Prompt 3: Saying “I love you” for the first time

~Snowflakes divider by @samspenandsword

~Prompt list by @flightlessangelwings

A/N: This short story was highly inspired by the Turkish novel of the same name "Aşk-ı Memnu" which translates as "Forbidden Love" in English. Let me know what you thought of this controversial story in the comments!

You can listen to the series' music on Spotify to get into ambience as it helped me a lot to write this. Just search it with the same Turkish name. Happy reading everyone!

Love knows no boundaries. Love is untamable, like the sea. Like a flame. It exists, it consumes. It destroys.

It was cold outside, the night was heavy over the city. Snow was falling from the sky yet the house was warm. The clicking of the cutlery against the expensive china plates could be heard along with the flickering flames of the fireplace.

You sat next to your husband, the man clearly enjoying his dinner and you couldn't help but smile softly at his praises for the new cook.

"So, tell me Seokjin. How is your father?"

Asked your husband, a rich business man by the name of Lee Yong-su. Seokjin smiled against his glass of wine, he put it down and looked at your husband, the two men happily engaging in conversation.

"He's quite well, actually. His treatment is going smoothly and we expect a complete recovery by the end of February."

"Give him my regards when you see him, Seokjin."

The young businessman turned to look at you, bowing his head softly at you not minding at all the fact that you were younger than him.

"Of course, Mrs. Lee."

You smiled kindly at him before the conversation between Seokjin and your husband took place once more. You continued to enjoy your dinner, allowing your thoughts to wander for a bit.

The marriage with your husband had been really controversial given the age difference between you both and the fact that he already had two children with his other wife that you knew had passed away.

Nisun was the oldest. A seventeen year old girl who resented you for taking the place of her mother. Munwoo was the youngest, he was twelve and the innocent boy never ceased to claim that if you ever divorced his father, he'd marry you instead for he had always wanted to marry a beautiful woman when he was of age.

You found it cute whenever he mentioned something like that, only smiling at Munwoo before he got distracted with his videogames once more.

But those weren't the only people that lived in the mansion when you married your husband. There was someone else. A person you had met before you became Yong-su's wife.

Jeon Jungkook.

You knew that he was the only son of one of your husband's closest friends that had sadly died in a car accident when Jungkook was barely five years old. Yong-su had taken him under his wing, providing for him and taking care of him as if he were his own son.

Jungkook was also twenty-six, just like you. And that was the first motive so as to why you two clicked so easily. Yet that fact was the beginning of a web of lies and passion that you had never thought you’d be a part of.

He was also very handsome, a sleeve of tattoos adorned his right arm, his lip and eyebrow were pierced and his hair was rebellious like his soul. Jungkook was a really attractive man and, according to his own phrasing, you were the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

Lust ruled your relationship with the son of your husband’s best friend. Desires of the body, flames of the heart. Feelings were never involved, or at least that was what was planned in the very beginning.

But to be honest, nothing was ever planned. This mess you were now tangled in started with a glance, continued with a kiss and ended with you in his bed. Sentiment was never supposed to happen. Everything was dominated by a mutual carnal infatuation.

You weren’t in love with your husband. The marriage had only been a great opportunity for you and your soft revenge on your cruel mother but Yong-su was deeply in love with you. To him, it didn’t matter the nearly twenty years age gap between you both. It didn’t matter that he had been married before. It didn’t matter he already had two children. He loved you, he cherished you, he wanted you almost in a fierceful way.

“Darling, are you alright? You aren’t usually this quiet during dinner.”

Looking at your right, you met the concerned gaze of your husband, you smiled slightly though not fully.

“I’m alright, I just have a headache.”

Yong-su frowned, you felt the eyes of everyone on you, even Jungkook’s gaze. It burned you to even know he was looking at you.

“Don’t worry about me, dearest.”

Silence filled the room after those words left your lips before soft conversations began to arise once more on the table. The children started talking about a new movie that was going to come out next week while your husband and Seokjin talked about business. Jungkook was still looking at you and you were able to read the concern in his dark eyes.

You smiled at him, ever so delicately and he nodded subtly. Taking in your silent reassurance as he resumed his dinner.

Butterflies flew in your stomach at his concern. At what you had seen in his eyes. Those hidden emotions behind his gaze. A dark galaxy you loved getting yourself lost in. The place where you found comfort during lonely nights and a refuge when your soul tormented you. Yet the fact that your love was forbidden only made you want it more. It attracted you more. You desired it more. You needed it more. Needed him. As if you were metal and Jungkook was your magnet. Like a forbidden fruit. Prohibited yet delicious.

“Are you alright?”

You knew that voice. Its raspiness did things to you that shouldn’t happen as a married woman. His deep voice always captivated you. You turned around, facing Jungkook. He stood in the kitchen’s doorway, leaning against the frame as his gaze pierced your own with intensity that a shiver ran down your spine.

"Yes, I just took a pill for the headache. Don't worry, Jungkook."

He frowned softly at your last sentence, uncrossing his arms as he walked towards you with his large steps. Your breath hitched in your throat when he stood in front of you a little too close for it to be proper.

"I always worry about you, (y/n)."

You swallowed, not knowing what to say. Nothing came to your mind. There were no words in your mouth to express, no thoughts in your mind to keep you busy.

"You matter to me more than you could imagine."

You looked aside, trying to break free from this chain he held you in. You took a deep breath, eyes focusing on your nearly empty glass of water that rested on the counter.

"Stop it, someone could hear us."

He took another step towards you, eyes never leaving your form as he gazed down at you.

"Uncle Yong-su is in his study with Kim Seokjin,"

His fingers grabbed your chin ever so softly, turning your head so that your eyes met his before he continued in a soft murmur.

"and the children are already upstairs."

His hand cupped your face while his thumb caressed your cheek in delicate touches. His dark eyes took you in; your beauty, your personality. Your essence.

Your hand rested atop his own. Even when the feeling of his skin against your own burned you with desire and adoration, you weren't allowed to show your sentiment freely.

"I don't want to risk it, Jungkook."

He smirked at your whispered words. Daring to take another step until your chests were almost touching. His warm and minty breath fanned your face and you, once more, lost yourself in his enchanting eyes that held your whole world.

"Risk what, (y/n)? Us? Are you that scared of my love for you to be known to the world?"

Your eyes widened at his words. You took a step back in pure instinct, forcing his hand to leave your cheek as you shook your head in silent motions of hidden despair.

"Because I love you, (y/n). I have for a while. And it only keeps growing in my heart."

You took a deep breath, trying to process everything that was leaving his mouth, wrapping your head around the fact that Jungkook was in love with you. If anything, it complicated things even more yet that didn't mean you craved it any less.

"You can't. Jungkook, you can't love me."

His hands were on your shoulders the next second making a soundless gasp leave your lips. His eyes bore into yours like never before that you nearly felt his soul touch your own.

"But I do. And I do not regret it."

You stood in silence, never breaking eye contact with him. Why now? Why did he have to say such a thing now?

"If you do not love me, say it. Say it and nothing left my mouth. Say it and I'll try to stop."

But how could you say that you didn't love him when your heart beats for him and only him? How could you tell such a lie when you loved him more than your life?

"Jungkook, I-"

"Love, are you there?"

The voice of your husband was heard from around the corner. Your eyes widened in fear and Jungkook put a finger over his lips, signalling you to stay quiet as he went to hide behind a wall, opposite from the kitchen's entrance.

You turned around in time to face your husband crossing the doorway with a soft smile on his lips.

"Yes, I just took a pill for my headache."

Yong-su frowned and walked over to you, eyes searching on your own with concern.

"Are you alright? I need you to sign some documents but if you are not feeling right you can do it later."

Your eyes momentarily looked at where Jungkook was hiding before you shook your head with a smile.

"It's alright, I can do it now."

Yong-su nodded, walking out of the kitchen with you behind him. But just as you were about to leave the room, you turned to look back only to spot Jungkook peeking out from around the wall upon hearing your fading footsteps.

With your heart skipping a beat, you sent him a subtle nod. The trace of a smile over your lips before you disappeared behind the wall.

And it was in that moment that he smiled to himself, feeling his heart beating wildly in his chest upon the silent confirmation of your love for him.

It didn't matter if it was prohibited, that it was a sin. That you were betraying your husband with Jungkook. For you were his forbidden fruit he should not even gaze at but your essence was addictive he couldn't think to stop himself. Not now, not ever, because love knows no boundaries. Love is untamable, like the sea. Like a flame. It exists, it consumes. It destroys.

December/15/2023

☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

#jungkook #bts #bts fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #love #bts fanfic #jeon jungkook x reader #kim seokjin #bts jungkook #forbidden love #Aşk-ı Memnu #aşk ı memnu #reader insert #winter event 2023 #sweetcarrotsandroses97 #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #angst

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bonefall · 5 months

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Hi Bones!! Thank you for you hard work on this project and for sharing it with us!

I've seen your posts about weird representation of society (regarding the "natural order of things") in xenofiction, especially in lion king, so I wanted to ask:

could you recommend any xenofiction media that has all (or most of the) animal species sapient? Or is the only solution to make just one or two species sapient while the others (especially prey) are plain animals?

Really sorry if you've seen this ask from me before - my account had a weird laggy period when I couldn't send or receive messages and asks, so I don't know if you got the previous one! I just know that now it's fixed so I double all the asks sent haha

Honestly I'm not totally sure! If any 3rd person has some good recommendations for "every being is alive" xenofiction types, feel free to weigh in.

If you want to jump in with me though, I am following the webcomic Africa. It updates every Wednesday. Africa is about a mother Leopard on the verge of a great ecological disaster, the relationship between her children and the animals around her, and the strength of both instinct and choice as the characters face an uncertain future.

Since it's ongoing, I still don't know how it's going to end and can't judge it as a full work! But it's absolutely fascinating and I think the author is doing a fantastic job so far. Bonus points for the way it portrays humans, btw.

No more spoilers though, if you're interested, it's on Webtoons.

(I'm also planning to read Oren's Forge soon. Ask me about it again in a few months over on Bonebabbles and I'll give you my thoughts)

As an aside though, funny you mention it because like... ever since I was a kid I've had a story I want to tell with the premise. It's a scintilla I've kept close to me for well over a decade but haven't done anything official with. So this is actually a theme I've thought about a lot.

It's rare to see it done well though because like... its very premise butts heads with reality. The "natural order" that an animal follows is not something it moralizes. A tiger doesn't have the capacity to think about how fucked up it is to kill to stay alive, the deer doesn't know that if its population isn't controlled it will destroy the forest.

They're animals. They don't HAVE that agency. Your dog does not care about being sterilized. A snake doesn't differentiate between a pinky and an adult mouse except in terms of if it will fit in its mouth. But the minute you put human morality in there... they have the ability to reason, create and agree on the rules of a society, make choices about MORALITY.

If nothing is going to change about their world, you just end up putting human arguments about "natural order" in their mouths and, well... start telling a parable justifying this "natural order."

(Genuine) Does what I'm saying make sense? Animals DON'T rationalize or negotiate. HUMANS do.

So the minute you're approaching a world with that logic, like it or not, you are invoking those "arguments from nature." And you're putting them in a being that is not fully an animal or a human, but an anthropomorphic mix which CAN rationalize but WON'T make an effort to change their world.

(Which is why tbh the best examples i know of are works with a theme of "change.")

OH WAIT I also remember another that's interesting!! Leafy: Hen into the Wild actually has a fascinating take on it. It's not interested in "moralizing" or really being about an animal society. It's a very emotional sort of movie, and it's about joys in adversity, the freedom that choice gives you, how bad things are going to happen and you can never completely prevent them.

INTENSE movie emotionally, the ending will wreck you (especially in the English translation which leaves out a really important theme making it feel abrupt x_x) but it's really good. Check that one out.

OH and also You Are Umasou. That one has more pitfalls imo (it does try to moralize a bit) but it's super unique as a movie. And is about dinosaurs.

#Don't take my opinions as gospel tho #There's no ONE RIGHT WAY to tell a story or handle a theme #And every person can have a unique reading of any story #Some stories can even be interpreted super differently by going in with different readings #Media isn't a box you take the lid off of to loot for objectively correct objects #It's more like eating a meal #Examining ingredients/tropes and how they were used #Trying to identify what the author set out to do and if it accomplished it in its current form #And sometimes idk chicken noodle tastes like hot saltwater in one moment but then hits different 2 months later when surrounding--#--circumstances (like being sick or cold) make it hit different #Point im getting at is that we could objectively say 'they used chicken and noodle' in this dish #But analysis and opinions and expressing them are an art of their own #Bone babble #Anyway prolly gonna be quiet the rest of the day so I can do clanmew prep lads #Media analysis #Xenofiction

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daddyy333 · 1 year

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Why do you hate me? | Neteyam x Omaticaya!reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 4.4k

warnings: neteyam is really mean to reader, neteyam makes a comment about readers dead parents, reader has a teensy weensy little appetite loss for just a second, ?

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

summary: For years, Neteyam pushed you away and said hurtful things to you over and over again all because he couldn’t admit he was in love with you, but you never actually let it get you. But you can only try for so long before you break

For years, Neteyam had avoided you and always made you feel so insecure about yourself. He’d do anything to not be around you, and always tried to talk over you or make it so it seemed like you weren’t there. You ignored it as much as you could and continued being yourself, no matter what he’d said.

But when your feelings for him became too strong, despite his rude and disrespectful behavior towards you, it started to make you feel bad about yourself. You tried to be nice to him, but he still treated you like an enemy of some sort.

Kiri started getting closer to you when the two of you were about 12 years old. You were the best of friends by the time you were 14. Neteyam always avoided you, but when you started to develop feelings for him you tried to hangout with him a little and he was always so upset by your presence.

You told yourself this is what boys do, they pretend to hate you even if they like you so that you want to come back to him. Well, that’s what the adults said anyways. But, after 2 years of being hated by the boy you had hoped to mate with, you started to crack.

You began to avoid being around Neteyam like he did to you. Your friendship with Kiri was slowly dying, you didn’t want to be around the Sully family because Neteyam was usually around. You’d always end up leaving with tears in your eyes when Neteyam rolled his eyes as he realized you were hanging out with his siblings.

Kiri came to you more often because of it, so the friendship was still there but you just knew she’d give up eventually. You used to study healing under Mo’at’s guidance, but you stopped going to lessons 6 months ago. Mo’at would ask about you but Neteyam just brushed it off.

Neytiri and Jake would ask about you, Kiri would say you were just focusing more on other things, Neteyam would scoff at the mere mention of your name. Tuk would beg Neteyam to help her find you to play but he would tell her no, and that she should play with someone else.

Whatever they said, it wasn’t true. Your father didn’t care much for you since your mother died during childbirth and so you had the freedom to do as you pleased. You usually took your ikran and spent your time at the Hallelujah mountains. You explored and spent time with the harmless animals and did anything to keep Neteyam off your mind.

It didn’t always work, but if you stayed away for a few days at a time it would start to work until you had to go back so no one would come looking for you and find your secret spots. One time in particular, you’d come back and went straight to Kiri and didn’t realize Neteyam and Lo’ak were walking nearby.

“Hey, stranger! God, I feel like I will never see you anymore!” Kiri said and you chuckled, hugging her. You smiled and said “oel ngati kameie, sister,” “oel ngati kameie…come tell me about what you’ve been doing while you were gone,” she said and you sat on a blanket, making jewelry and clothing for some of the growing children and friends who needed ceremonial clothes and things like that.

“And here I was hoping she’d left for good,” Neteyam said in the distance, but you heard it. Your ears twitched and then lowered, doing little to hide your now sad mood. You tried to ignore him and focus on what Kiri was saying, but you couldn’t help it.

“She’s so annoying. I don’t understand why everyone likes her so much. It’s like all mom and dad care about nowadays is that stray” he said and laughed. You closed your eyes, trying to fight the tears and Kiri noticed. She sighed and said “I’m sorry, y/n” “about what?” You said, opening your eyes and flashing a smile.

She shook her head and continued her story, trying to distract you from what he was saying. Out of the corner of her eye she could see them, and she coulf see Lo’ak standing behind him, looking down. Everyone noticed how he treated you and tried to make him stop but he never did. So if they couldn’t stop him, they weren’t going to encourage him either.

“God, why does she keep coming back? Probably because she’s all lonely without a family” he said and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You got up and ran as far as you could into the forest. You eventually stopped, grabbing onto a tree as sobs racked your body, making it hard to breathe.

You sunk to the ground, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into them. You wished you didn't care, you begged Eywa everyday to make you stop loving him but you couldn’t help it. Especially because you knew how kind he could be. You’d seen the way he acted with other people, with his little sister, with his younger brother when he didn’t realize you were there. He was a good man, at least to everyone else he was

“Y/n! Hey, hey he doesn’t mean it. Boys are mean, okay? You can’t let him hurt you” Kiri said as she found you, trying to calm you down. You pushed her away, at this point you just wanted to disappear.

You felt so lonely. You didn’t have many friends, and when Neteyams comments started getting to you and you started disappearing for days at a time, you lost the friends you did have, all you had left really was the Sully’s. God, if Kiri didn’t care about you so much you could just disappear and maybe be happy again. Just go on and explore the planet by yourself, and leave everything else behind.

“Go away!” You cried, looking up at her and wiping your tears. She bit her lip, trying not to cry as she said “y/n, please, you have to understand he doesn’t mean it, okay? He just- he-” “oh my god- stop! Please! I don’t know why I bother coming home at all, I just feel like shit after. Every goddamn time he just tears me right back down cause he just can’t stand to have me here. He does mean it, Kiri. How could he make a comment about my parents like that and not mean it? He hates me! He doesn’t want me here! Maybe he’s right, maybe I should just go. He’d get what he wants and everything would be okay” you said, standing up and pacing.

You shook your head and started to run, calling for your ikran. You didn’t know Neteyam had followed you, and heard every word. “Y/n! Wait- wait I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it I swear” he said, and all the pain you’d ever felt balled up into an explosive amount of rage and you couldn’t help but turn around and shove him back when he tried to grab your arm.

“Do not touch me! Stay the hell away from me!” You said and he sighed. He tried to grab you again and you hissed at him, shoving him against the tree and holding your knife against his neck. A sob racked your body before you said “I’m so sick of you. You’re an asshole, Neteyam. Leave me the hell alone!”

You cut his chest and then punched him in the face, making him fall to the ground. You got on your ikran, flying away as fast as the wind would carry you. Kiri and Lo’ak shook their heads, tears slowly streaming down Kiri’s face. Lo’ak pulled her into a hug and sighed softly.

“God damn it…Kiri can you-” he said and she scoffed. “Hell no” she said and walked off, and Lo’ak followed her. Man, he had really messed up. Kiri didn’t talk to him for days, Lo’ak only spoke when it was necessary. Even Tuk was getting distant.

Neytiri and Jake ripped him a new one, especially Jake. They were so mad at him. They didn’t know he was being so mean to you, or they would’ve stopped it. God, Jake had never wanted to lay a mean hand on his kids before but he almost did after Kiri told him the things he’d been saying to you.

“You little shit! How could you? For years, we’ve taken care of that girl and she’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever see. What is there to dislike about her? God damn it, Neteyam I’ve never been so mad at you. You don’t treat a girl like that, no matter what! What kind of Olo'eyktan acts like this?” He said and Neteyam looked down.

Jake scoffed and Neytiri said “you bring shame to this family, boy. I cannot believe my son is capable of this. You did not even deserve to look at her, much less be able to speak such harsh words to her. When we find her, you will do nothing else but be waiting hand and foot until she forgives you. Do you understand?!”

“Yes ma’am…” Neteyam said and looked at his parents. Jake folded his arms and said “get out of my face,” he slowly turned and left, obviously feeling really shitty about what he’d done. Once he left, Neytiri pressed on her throat microphone and said “y/n…I am so sorry about what my son said about you and to you. He will be making it up to you as punishment, please just come back home. I don’t want to never see you again, sweetheart. You’re like another daughter to me, and I really hope you come back to us”

Neytiri nearly cried when you didn’t respond. Jake hugged her and said “she’ll come back, she always does” “Neteyam said unimaginable things to her, Jake. She probably wants nothing to do with us” Neytiri said, sniffling. Jake kissed her head and sighed, trying not to get worked up again.

You left for a lot longer than usual, but eventually came back two weeks later. However, you were numb. Nothing made you feel anything other than just numbness anymore. It was like that for a year. Neteyam had been with you the whole time, making you food, braiding your hair, apologizing for what he’d done to you all these years, just trying to make you happy again.

You cried yourself to sleep a lot, and always got upset if he tried to tell you he was sorry. He understood why you behaved this way, he really did, but it fucking hurt. Your ears were constantly turned down, and the life in your eyes disappeared.

“Y/n! Hey, it’s time for dinner. They’ve got your favorite,” he said and you sighed. You turned around and said “I’m fine, Neteyam. I’m not hungry” “y/n…y- you haven’t eaten since yesterday morning” he said and you shook your head, turning back around and continuing your walk

He took a deep breath and said “is there anything I can get for you? Anything I can get to make you feel better?” “No…should probably go be all lonely with my family that I don’t have so I don’t bother you” you said, sticking your arms out and feeling the trees on either side of you.

“Y/n please…” he said and you scoffed. You chuckled and said “do you remember when we were 15 and I constantly begged you to let me come fly on the ikrans with you and Lo’ak? Yea, I don’t want to hear “y/n, please” I said “neteyam please” a thousand times for every one time you say it”

“I’m really sorry, y/n. I just- please, come eat” he said and you sighed shakily, tears filling your eyes. You stopped, the tears now slipping down your face. You whimpered and said “I don’t want to”

“I don’t care” he groaned and threw you over his shoulder, making you gasp and try to kick and punch him. He grabbed yours and his portion of the food and went to a secluded part of the forest, setting you down using his legs to cage you in as your back rested against a tree.

You groaned and ate the food as quickly as you could so he would leave you alone. “See, that’s all I wanted. Just wanted you to take care of yourself” he said and you rolled your eyes, walking away.

Neteyam sighed, looking down. “She has every right to act that way, kid” Jake said and Neteyam took a deep breath. He nodded and said “yea I know, dad. I just don’t know how to make it better”

You started to get closer with Kiri again recently, but you were still very closed off. It also didn’t help that everyone still avoided you like the plague. It was partially your own fault with constant RBF but it just made you feel worse.

Another 6 months and you felt a little better. You didn’t put up as much of a fight anymore, and tried to make Neteyam happy by listening to him. Even though the goal was to make you happier. You just hated knowing you were making him sad.

You even got back into healing lessons with Mo’at, and were still one of the best she’d seen. You even joined in a few hunting parties here and there and at least tried to interact with the clan sometimes. They still thought you were strange, and you knew they believed Eywa turned her back on you since she took your mother right from birth and you’ve had all these problems lately.

One day, you caught him talking to Lo’ak about you. You were coming to see if he wanted to go out to the waterfall and swim for a bit when you heard your name. “Y/n’s…she’s doing better I think” Neteyam said and Lo’ak raised an eyebrow unbeknownst to you.

Neteyam sighed and said “honestly I think me being with her so much makes things worse. Reminds her of everything” “why the hell did you even think it was okay to treat her like that in the first place?” Lo’ak said and Neteyam looked down.

“I didn’t…I knew it wasn’t okay. But I- I just wanted her to go away. She…she makes me feel these weird things and I don’t like it. And it’s hard to choose a mate because I think about her. When I see her I feel this…this feeling in my stomach and it’s weird. And I- I could never stop thinking about her. She was just always there and always in my head and I thought if she wasn’t there it would be better. But…then I saw her crying that day and I wanted to hold her in my arms and protect her from everything bad, even myself. I still feel pain everyday when I think about how I made her feel” he said and tears slowly made their way down his face.

Lo’ak scoffed and said “you skxawng! You’re in love with her! That’s what all those feelings were!” “What? I’m not in love with her. She’s practically our little sister” he said and Lo’ak gave him a sassy little look.

Neteyam scoffed and said “I do not have feelings for y/n! She’s just…I mean she is very pretty but- but everyone knows that. She probably has many men trying to mate with her, anyways. But I do not like her like that,” “Neteyam, everyone thinks she’s a freak. We’re all she has. It’d probably be the best thing that happened to her if you said you wanted to be her mate” Lo’ak said and you sniffled.

You heard shuffling and realized they heard, so you tried to run away. “Y/n? Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Neteyam said and you shook your head. You sighed and said “you know you are really confusing. You- y-you push me away for years and make me feel like absolutely shit until I literally can’t take it anymore and now you’re following me all the time trying to be…friends or something and apparently you’re in love with me but I’m so terrible I cannot possibly be someone you’re in love with. Just when I thought you might actually be a good person, that I might be able to trust you, that I could potentially be friends with you, turns out you still think I’m…hell, I don’t even know but my existence still bothers you! What the hell is so bad about me? Why am I so unlovable? Why do you hate me?!”

You groaned and turned away, trying to run and find your ikran. You were calling for her but she probably couldn’t hear you. “Y/n, y/n- stop it!” He said, grabbing you and pushing you against a tree. You gasped, looking at him through your teary eyes.

You whimpered and he said “I don’t…I don’t hate you. You are not unlovable. There is nothing wrong with you, okay?” “Well I hate you, you penis face!” you said, trying to punch and kick him. He sighed and held your arms down, using his leg to keep yours from hurting him.

“I just…I thought that the things I was feeling were wrong. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you but…but I did, and now all I can do is make it up to you. I do love you, y/n. Very, very, very much. I love you so much I literally couldn’t stand it. Please forgive me,” he said and you whimpered. You let out a sob and shook your head.

“I hate you. I hate you!” You said, punching his chest. He fought tears as he watched you, he felt like a total piece of shit. “I hate you” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around him and sobbing into his chest.

He sighed, wrapping his arms around you, tears rolling down his face. “I’m so sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry, please, y/n I can’t hate you even if I tried” he said and you whimpered, shaking slightly. He took a shaky breath and said “I’m so sorry”

He held you for 10 minutes, swaying slightly and trying to calm you down. “Do you mean it?” You asked in the middle of the silence. He hummed and said “what?” “Do you mean it? That- that you love me? And- a-and for some twisted reason you thought that pushing me away and hurting me was better than admitting it?” You said and he pulled away from the hug, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him.

“I see you,” he said softly, caressing your damp cheeks. He nodded and you whimpered, placed your hands on his chest, then eventually moved one to his neck and pulled him down to kiss you. You placed your arms on his sides and he gasped, pulling away and creating distance between you two.

“No- no you don’t deserve me I- I ca- we- I am not good for you, y/n” he said and you sniffled. You grabbed his hand and said “I don’t care, damn it. I…I see you, Neteyam. E-Even though for years I have wanted to hate you but I just can’t and it’s so god damn frustrating so if I can’t hate you then I give up and I’m just gonna let myself love you. Okay? Even after all the times you made me cry and made me hate myself, I still love you. Even though I’m terrified you’re lying and you’re just gonna hurt me again, I still love you! I see you, Neteyam. I forgive you. Please, please just kiss me”

He shook his head and grabbed your waist, pulling you in and kissing you again. You moaned a little, your chest against his as his hands threaded through your braids. “I see you,” you mumbled against his lips when you both pulled away for a breath.

He smiled, tears forming in his eyes as he said “I see you,” then shoving his tongue past your soft lips. He tapped your thigh, and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He pressed his forehead to yours, both of you panting from the intensity of the kiss.

He leaned against a tree behind him and you smiled a little, caressing his cheek. “I can't get enough,” he said breathlessly, trying to kiss you more even though his heart was pounding. You giggled and rested your head in the crook of his shoulder.

He rubbed your back and said “I really am so goddamn sorry about what I said…I shouldn’t- that- it was too far. Every time. I should’ve respected you and just avoided you instead of making you feel that way but I- I don’t know I’m just an idiot” “Neteyam…there’s nothing we can do about it, okay? It happened, and it sucked, but now we can move on and be happier…together” you said and smiled, kissing his neck.

“Alright, you two, quit it! What, are you gonna mate right there or something?” Lo’ak teased and you chuckled. Neteyam rolled his eyes and said “yea, maybe I will. Bet you wanna watch weirdo!”

“Ew, no gross! Come on, it’s time for dinner…hurry up or I’ll tell dad you got her pregnant!” He said and your eyes widened, hiding your face in his neck. He ran over, making you scream as he jostled you around. He swatted Lo’ak with his tail and you chuckled.

He set you down and you said “I’ll be there in a second,” he nodded and followed Lo’ak, a smile on his face. You sighed softly and Neytiri came from out of nowhere, which definitely scared you a little. You jumped when you heard her voice, “are you alright?”

“Y-Yes, yes I’m fine” you said, standing straighter and smiling at her. She chuckled and said “relax, please. I know what you and Neteyam were doing in the forest. Do you…do you truly forgive him?” You sighed and nodded, looking off to the side for a moment.

“Yes…I do. I- I know he feels bad about what he did, a-and I know he wouldn’t do it again. I just…I’m worried that he only feels this way about me because he’s always around me. I- I’m worried that if we mate, afterwards he’ll get the attention of some other girl and regret it all after we’ve been together 10 years and we’ve got 2 children already and another one on the way, or something like that. It’s hard to believe that he actually loves me and wants to be with me. I’ve always loved him…even when he would say hurtful things I couldn’t stop loving him. It’s just- it’s scary…I don’t want to get my heart broken” you said and Neytiri sighed.

She looked over at Neteyam and Lo’ak in the distance and watched as he caught Tuk and threw her up on his shoulders when she ran over to them. She smiled and said “if there’s anything I know about my son, it’s that he loves you. I almost didn’t believe Kiri when told me about what happened, he…he always smiles when we talk about you. He gets all shy and for years he’s been refusing to look for a mate, but the second he thinks about you his tail swings and his ears twitch and his freckles light up like crazy. He sees you, y/n. He really does. Sometimes, we do stupid and hurtful things to the people we love no matter how much we love them. But, he wants to make it up to you, and I’m telling you, that kid is probably telling the whole clan that he’s gonna mate with you”

“You really think so?” You asked. She smiled, tucking your braids behind your ear and said “of course, honey. Come, let’s get some food” She wrapped an arm around you loosely and brought you with the rest of the clan.

As soon as Neteyam saw you he reached an arm out and Neytiri chuckled, pushing you towards him. You smiled and hugged him, resting your head on his chest. “Are you okay?” He asked and you looked up. You nodded, playing with one of his braids.

“Was just talking to your mom. Apparently you really do have this big fat crush on me and you’ve had it for a long ass time” you said and he looked away, tail swinging pretty crazy as he grinned. You kissed his cheek and said “stop hiding. I wanna see your stupidly handsome face”

He looked over at you again, wanting to kiss you a thousand times but there were too many people. He settled for a forehead kiss, then letting go and grabbing your hand to bring you to get some food as he also subtly showed you off to everyone.

“Stop, Neteyam,” you said, rolling your eyes when he called you beautiful in front of Mo’at. “But you areeee. What am I supposed to do if I can’t show you off” he whined, sitting down partially behind you, pulling you in between his legs.

You sighed and said “how did you ever manage before 5 minutes ago?” “Shut up” he said, his freckles lighting up. He kissed your temple and fed you something off his plate.

You rolled your eyes and he smiled, admiring your features. You eventually noticed and said “what are you staring for? Is there something on my face?” “No, no just….I like your face” he said and you rolled your eyes.

He smiled and said “I see you” Yiur eyes widened a little, ears twitching as you smiled and said “I see you”. After dinner, Jake and Neytiri allowed just this one time for you two to go and ride your ikran’s after eclipse, giggling and laughing the whole time.

Eventually you landed on one of the hallelujah mountains to rest and he instantly pulled you down to lay on him when he got situated on the ground. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat as you traced the darker blue markings on his skin.

“I just….I just don’t feel close enough to you. Hugs aren’t enough I need to be closer” he said when you asked why he wanted to cuddle. You smiled and said “you know for a guy who totally hated me for 4 years I didn’t think you’d be this obsessed with me”

You noticed his ears shift down, and his eyes lost that spark just slightly. You chuckled and said “what? I can't make jokes about it?” He chuckled too and you smiled, kissing him softly. He flipped you over so he was on top of you, peppering kisses all over your face and neck as you laughed and screamed his name playfully begging him to stop.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

#avatar 2 #neteyam #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #avatar the way of water #avatar 2022 #avatar

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fractiflos · 1 month

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How do you think that Yoichi and AFO survived as newborns if their mom died and they were in such a terrible enviroment that literally the first thing that happened after being born was that they almost got eaten by rats and drown in a river?

Babies can't eat anything but milk after certain age, because, not counting they don't have any teeth, they can't digest it, in the best case scenario, consuming another thing that is not milk, would cause them to develop a serious allergy to that specific food that could kill them later with an anaphilatic reaction, and in the worst, kill them right away.

Besides, a newborn has so many needs besides the food, specially a malnourished one as Yoichi.

A baby as him, a donor baby, would have been left several months in the hospital until he gained certain weight.

And even AFO, the receptor baby, could have several health problems that could kill him.

The fact alone that Yoichi was not born dead, is a miracle itself, almost none of those donor babies survive. And as I said, there is a chance that the receptor could die as well.

Wow, I wasn't expecting to be asked for my thoughts on this question!

(Before I answer, I should say I haven't actually read those chapters, I just saw the leak translations on here because I don't know where everyone else is able to read it.)

Anyway, I do think that they managed to get a little milk. ShigaMom hadn't been dead for too long, so she still had some, which is why Baby For One bit her breast, to get to the milk. Plus, he was strong enough to carry Yoichi, so he might've helped him get the milk on the other breast, as Baby Yoichi still should've been able to smell her.

But, that wouldn't have lasted long.

I'm of the belief that someone found two newborns suckling on their dead mom and thought, "I should get these children to a hospital".

So, the milk helped them hold on for a little bit until someone came and called an ambulance or something and they were taken care of. From there, I say they got abandoned once people realized the white hair was there to stay, about 2-3 maybe. And I can see AFO not wanting to admit someone other than him cared for Yoichi as the scene seemed to be his POV (but his thought process is a different topic).

However, I do have a very stupid theory that I can't get out of my head, so thank you for giving me the excuse to talk about it.

They were raised by animals.

Humans have been breastfed by animals before and survived (though it's not ideal), so it's not totally impossible for.

Except there's the health issues. I think part of it is that quirked people are hardier than regular people and human bodies will do all sorts of stuff to avoid dying. The reason this is a stupid theory that no one should take seriously is because I can't think of another reason.

#yoichi shigaraki #all for one #jane's asks #Still in disbelief I got asked this!#I hope my thoughts were articulate enough. I'm not used to answering these but it was really fun #Don't be afraid to ask me more stuff :)

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anhed-nia · 3 months

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So I'm in the middle of this research project centered on Dario Argento's OPERA, for which I have required myself to watch as many screen adaptations of the Gaston Leroux novel The Phantom of the Opera as I can take. What I have determined so far is that the Phantom of the Opera is a story everyone wants to tell, but not very many people are sure of how to tell it. In fact, it's not that easy to say what it is about archetypally. You know, Wolfman stories are typically about "the beast in man" (with femininity positioned as some sort of cure for this personality split), Frankenstein stories are usually about human nature (i.e. an uncanny creature can have more humanity than vain and bigoted humans), Dracula-type vampire stories are most generally about the problems of being an outsider (queer, foreign, etc). But Phantom of the Opera is like...well, everyone likes the love story part of it, which is more or less modeled on Dracula, with a woman torn between seductive darkness and the safety of square society. But then there are all these other parts that seem to flummox people in the retelling.

I haven't read the Leroux novel YET but the first round of movies have been interesting, and also sort of perplexing. The iteration from 1925 holds up, largely due to Chaney's creation of the Phantom which remains a top tier monster. People don't often talk about the mask though! Which looks like a cross between Peter Lorre and the Devo Boogie Boy, it's disturbing and I like it.

This Phantom was born in the dungeons during a revolutionary bloodbath and is disfigured from birth, drawing on the antique idea that a mother's trauma is translated in the deformity of her children; also, compellingly, these dungeons lie fathoms beneath the opera house where the bourgeoisie are witlessly dancing on the graves of martyrs and criminals embodied in the Phantom. The ingenue Christine is an interesting figure who breaks up with her boyfriend at the beginning because she wants to give her whole self to her career; when the Phantom starts murmuring to her through the walls it's as if the spirit of opera itself has chosen her to be its avatar, which she seems to find totally rational. It's sort of cool, what other movie of this era has a likeable heroine choosing her potential for greatness over love? This is the element of the story that is the most interesting, but I'll expand on that in a minute.

The Chaney edition benefits a lot from keeping things simple. The 1943 version with Claude Raines has a little bit too much going on and the story doesn't get a lot of time to congeal between so many long opera sequences; this movie really takes the opera part of the title seriously! Actually they're the best thing about it, mostly because of Nelson Eddy who is extremely beautiful and a real opera singer, and who projects this blazing desire for Susanna Foster that is incredibly convincing. Like I'd normally say they have great chemistry, but I think it's just a lot of power radiating from him specifically.

Ahem.

Uh anyway. This movie picks up the reoccurring (but not universal) idea that the Phantom is a genteel and sophisticated composer who has just fallen on hard times, who goes mad when his latest concerto is stolen. He is disfigured while struggling with the plagiarist and installs himself under the opera house where he can haunt his former protege Christine, who is already torn between dreamy Nelson Eddy and her stuffy cop boyfriend. One of my favorite things here is that even though this film is extremely quaint and old fashioned, everybody hates cops; this Christine is less a self-determined careerist than someone who is under pressure from her artist friends who find it profoundly repulsive that she is dating a policeman. Meanwhile the Phantom is just way too gentle and sappy, which is extra disappointing because Claude Rains's Invisible Man is so fabulously chaotic and sadistic, it made me really aware of the Phantom that could have been. This one doesn't properly represent the high society vs. underworld dichotomy that Christine should be torn between. So what is this movie about? There's so many guys in it and a few different themes flapping in the breeze. Is it about love? Is it about self-actualizing through art? Is it about the cutthroat world of showbusiness? It doesn't have that much to say, ultimately, and it just seems really unmotivated. Also I don't like this mask, sue me.

The Hammer edition is even more disappointing, considering the studio's previous successes with Universal Monster remakes. Here Christine is torn between a suave opera producer, the lecherous composer who has plagiarized the Phantom, and yeah the Phantom. Too many guys, it confuses whatever the dynamic and themes are supposed to be. Michael Gough as the plagiarist is so much more evil and threatening than poor Herbert Lom's Phantom that it's hard to stay focused on the main point here. Curiously the Hammer version is rather unromantic, with the Phantom just slapping Christine around until she sings his tunes right; that is kind of refreshing in a way, although it also means that the film lacks tension, which contributes to its being surprisingly anticlimactic. The best guy in the movie is actually Thorley Walters whose character serves almost no narrative purpose at all, he just hulks around with this WTF? look on his face and it is kind of adorable. I guess I like the gross mask in this one, too.

But the Hammer version has one interesting strength, which is that Christine is singing the lead in a new opera about Joan of Arc. Just like Joan, Christine hears a disembodied voice prophesizing her ascent to power. The best thing about the Phantom lore is the idea that the woman has this latent power that can either be activated by the Phantom, or suppressed by her square boyfriend (the relationship being mutually exclusive with opera stardom in many iterations). She isn't just a love object to be possessed, she herself possesses of some kind of devastating energy that needs to be awakened and channeled--or contained and forgotten, if she decides to get married and stay home or something. This is pretty cool, and it is interestingly realized in Dario Argento's OPERA, in which (spoiler alert I guess) a killer stalks an opera singer with the aim of catalyzing her own latent psychopathy. This idea is at the center of my thesis and I'm looking forward to fleshing it out, although I'm kind of dreading all the other PHANTOMs that I have committed myself to watching. I really don't want to deal with Andrew LLoyd Webber at all, but after I get through at least the Joel Schumacher one of the those I'm going to reward myself with a rewatch of PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE which I'm going to guess right now is the best retelling of this story after the Chaney one. I'm counting on Paul Williams' music to be catchier than Webber's.

I'm whining about my own decisions, I know, but really the main hardship of this project is that now I keep getting the Vandals' punk theme song from PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC'S REVENGE stuck in my head, and let me tell you that is very unwelcome. Here it is, if you've decided you're done being happy and sane:

youtube

#is this when i finally watch KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK?#is this project going to destroy me #phantom of the opera #claude rains #lon chaney #herbert lom #dario argento #opera #Youtube

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fluffywolverine · 4 months

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i can't believe it took me so long to actually say this, but oh my goodness, I FINALLY LOVED A PERCY JACKSON TV SHOW EPISODE, which is quite funny actually, because this is the one i anticipated the least (always the ones you don't expect, i say)

the MUSIC was so on point here, really a standout. sure, i did like it more or less in the previous episodes, but this time i finally felt like it elevated the story, e.g. in the scene with echidna on the train - how the tones started getting more tense when annabeth realised who they were facing

the hints from the books were included really smartly, especially pan foreshadowing or chimera as a chihuahua (my personal favourite, although, sorry, nothing beats polish translation in tlt and chimera being called "psia cholera")

the acting was flawless. i know both leah and walker are still children and do not expect them to be perfect, so it wasn't a big deal for me when they were a bit stiff in the previous episodes. but in this one? i felt like they found a way to play these characters at last, and there wasn't any single missed bit. huge applause for them. plus suzanne cryer as chidna was just top tier acting, perfectly embodying the motherly side of echidna, as well as the terrifying one

chimera is the best looking monster so far period

sally jackson cameo was a surprise, but a welcome one. it became a pretty framing device at the end, which added to the story, making sure that the viewers remember about the relationship between her and percy

this whole theme of who is a hero and who is a monster took an interesting turn with what echidna said about perspective, especially if you compare it with grover's words on how humans destroy the environment

i know it was the shortest episode, and i admit, it could have ended when percy came out of water, but i still liked it best. let's just hope that the rest will be just as good!

#percy jackson #pjotv #pjo tv adaptation #percy jackson spoilers #pjotv spoilers #pjo tv show #percy jackson disney+#percy jackon and the olympians

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otomelavenderhaze · 10 months

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I can't stop thinking about the cave dialogue in which Rayan talks about Chloé, his ex wife, therefore I went back to read whole scene back from University Life episode 8, because what Rayan describes in episode 17 of LL is too diferent from that UL episode and from everything I could remember about it.

It's not to say that I caught some sort of insane discrepancy and AHÁ!

It's more because I find it interesting and I thought maybe others would find it interesting as well. So first I wanna show you what Rayan says in episode 8 of UL (which I never translated before until this post):

In my playthrough of it, back in the day, I asked him directly if he have a wife, which he answers yes first and then the proceeds to talk about it...

"And she will forever be my wife. But the last time we saw each other was seven years ago. Already… seven years… My wife, Chloé, died seven years ago. In a terrorist attack. Some savages came in shooting. No fixed target. In shop windows, in people and even in children."

"There were many wounded, and fortunately few dead. But Chloé is one of those who didn't survive… All that happened seven long years ago. It took me time. At first I didn't want to move. I wanted to keep everything, the smallest memory."

Now why I am showing this 4 panells?

This is important to understand how she died, how sad Rayan showed us to be about her death and his attachment towards Chloé.

He even goes as far to say:

"We met in high school and we got married at 23, in a hurry. We didn't tell anyone. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything was all roses."

Candy asks him, how so?

"We often quarreled. We stayed together for a long time, we didn't get to know anyone but each other and, sometimes, we even doubted. But when she left… I was torn apart."

Now we will never know why they used to fight, what made them marry so young and so quickly to the point where he implies they didn't even had a wedding ceremony.

Which makes this difficult to understand what compelled both of them to take such actions - maybe they they were just impulsive, but without a reason behind such impulsivity it's hard to tell if it was warrant or not.

But then, the actual panel that made me do this post in the first place eventually comes up in that same conversation with Candy:

"I loved her with all my soul. Before anything else, she was my best friend. But, sorry… I opened up too much…"

And I believe he did, regardless of anything else, because it makes sense for Rayan's character to marry someone for love.

That's the kind of "person" he is, that's why when he falls for Candy, he's ready to assume so many risks and even later talks about leaving his job for her just so they could have a less tense relationship.

This sets up him to be someone that would intensily love another person and do everything for them - they being Chloé or Candy.

I could say this is actually the point of that whole conversation: to show that he isn't someone that takes love lightly or shallowly, which helps us readers to trust his intentions and to believe that, yes, for love he would indeed be honorable, truth and passionate, instead of a player or a man that just wants to have fun with one of his students.

Not mentioning that he presents himself as a tortured soul that lost a wife tragically and never fell in love ever since, but falls in love for you, the reader, because you're special and irreplaceable, is something very flattering and, even, I dare say, romantic.

Meow meow is sad and you're the only one who can fix that for him.

Personally, I don't like how mcl writes grief, I don't think they know how to dose it without losing their hand, so it comes off as shallow for me, but I guess it serves as another thing: Chloe was loved by Rayan, but Candy needs to be special. The player needs to feel special.

Which brings us to this part of the conversation:

"Every women had something of her own. I saw her everywhere. And yet, it's been seven years. Since then, I have been unable to get involved with another woman, in a new relationship. Even in a simple friendship."

"Until… I met you. I don't know… For the first time, I met someone who has none of her. For the first time, I felt entitled not to think about her."

I understand why in an otome game is important to get the romance right and make the player feel compelled to play the character's route, after all, who wouldn't want to feel special, even if it's only on a game - that's why we have so many MCs or main characters in videogames that are heroes, that cares of others or the place they belong to.

However, I will say, maybe they should've worded it differently, maybe it's not so much about feeling entitled to not think about her, but when I realized, I wasn't searching for her traits on you, I wasn't thinking about her anymore, I was ready to move on. But this is just how I would've done it, just so it would come from Rayan the agency of the "healing" - in another words, he had healed himself before he met Candy and falling in love with her was just another evidence of that.

Which brings us back to episode 17 of Love Life, our Honeymoon episode (and pay attention to the parts that I will mark in blue):

"Y'know, I honestly didn't think I would get over losing her. And then after you got in my classroom and into my life. So, yes, I should have a star up there shining for me. Because, with you, I understood the meaning of true love. And it wasn't the same of what I had with Chloé."

"Sometimes, I think, if the story/timeline was another, if I had met you first before I met her... She and I would've been simply friends, without anything else between us. If fate hadn't been so cruel with her, it would've ended like that anyway, actually. I think she would have been happy to see me so happy these days."

"Just like I would have been in seeing her meeting someone else just as important as you're for me. And when I think of her today, is in this way: as a friend that left too soon. And that, of course, I still get a little with my heart tight. She was someone wonderful/beautiful. There's still some of her in me. But, when I met you, I was like a ghost."

Only Rayan to friendzone the dead.

"Thanks to you and our love, she just became a beautiful star, just like my father..."

At first I thought he was saying that he never really loved Chloé and that Candy made him realize that (How? Don't ask me, he doesn't say how), but thinking about this post and re-reading everything made me rethink my first impression of it.

It's not so much that he didn't loved Chloé, but admittedly, and for reasons that Rayan didn't say, he thought love was something else and he thought he loved her because of that notion, and then his notion of love changed because he met Candy and now he thinks that love is truly what he feels for Candy.

I, as someone that played all of his route, can't really say or even figure out how he would've come up with that reasoning.

Was it because for the first time ever, he had put someone else on his top priority, or at least in a more important position than his reputation and career (which he deeply cares for)? But wasn't he a passionate person to begin with? So isn't it natural for him, once he was sure he fell in love for Candy, to put her as his top priority?

Was it Candy presence alone in his life, simply being there, what made him create that notion? How she taught him that?

I don't know, because the way they fell in love was pretty quick and pretty normal I would dare say - normal not in the sense of, he was her teacher, normal in the sense there was nothing remarkable about their dates, the way they sneak around or in their conversations.

I think if he had realize that falling in love with someone new meant that he had "healed" from his past trauma, that he only had feelings for her because he was ready to have feelings for someone again and the sense of normalcy and easiness he felt in being with her was all he ever wanted after going through so much sadness and heartbreak, then, it would make more sense and sound more realistic, maybe?

But again, they wanted to spin that Candy was special, she needed to be the one that changed him, that was like gravity to him and he could not resist the pull of her.

“... It's just that, with you, I never got under the impression of playing any kind of game. Because I had a lot to lose. Before I met you, I had accepted to never love again. I didn’t want to ever risk lose someone ever again... And, above all, you came to enroll in my course. I looked up and knew that my certainties were worthless...” (episode 14 LL)

That's why I talked about his career before.

They set up Rayan to be someone that loves his work, that cares about his reputation and his career, if not, as he only thing he had since he moved away from his family and was living alone.

Risk it all for Candy was to show that he wasn't playing, he wasn't just trying to get a kick out of it.

And knowing how he got after when Marina actually got him fired, how much of a mess it made him, this put things even more in context, it shows that truly, risk it all for her was no joke, even thou, they used to be pretty reckless about it (never gonna forget their first kiss, crazy, both of them).

Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of dialogue in Rayan's route, episode 15 LL, the marriage proposal dialogue:

"It’s funny... for a long time I thought that love was like a burning fire. And I even thought that, in my case, all that was left was ashes of it. Until I met you and I understood that I didn’t know anything. That I have got it wrong in my whole life. With you, I understood that love is like a stream/flow. A wave that breaks again and again without stopping. And that drags everything wherever it goes. You imposed yourself on me like an evidence. In the calm. I knew it right away. But I only understood it this well later on."

Think that love was like a burning fire: it lights up, it shines bright, it consumes itself, then it becomes ashes and there's nothing left of it.

Ouch, Rayan. 😢

Not to mention the destructive nature of fire, but I don't think Rayan or the person who wrote this scene thought it like that necessarily, I think it had more to do with how fragile and how it consume itself, which feels more how like I would expect from how Rayan described his relationship with Chloé before: intense, too quick to think everything through, the fighting, the feeling that it wouldn't last anyway.

Meanwhile Candy is like a strong wave or a strong stream, his love for her dragged everything with it: all his reasoning, his principles and scruples, the risk of losing his reputation, his career, AND breaking again and again, because it didn't matter if he had build any walls to keep her out in the begining, she somehow brought it all down.

Two kinds of love, one feeling less truth and lasting than the other.

While it would've better, in his head, to have remain just a friendship with Chloé, with Candy, there was no way for it to have ended just in friendship, it would always be more.

You can see the contrast between his feelings for Chloé and his feelings for Candy, how it was different and the key word should always be different.

It surprised me to see him talking about their wedding too, Rayan and Chloé married young and in a hurry (we will never know why), meanwhile, Rayan found Candy in a stage of his life when love wasn't even in the table and when it finally came back to the table, Rayan wanted everything, he wanted celebrate it having a proper wedding ceremony and all.

But those are little subtle things that they left out in the air, instead of saying it so clearly like they did so many times before.

Personally, I don't think would've make any sense for Rayan's character to haven't love Chloé, considering they built a life together before he even met Candy, the same way, I don't think we could've ever thought that Rayan loved Chloé more or even the same way he loved Candy.

Cuz, Chloé and Candy not only met him in different moments of his life BUT ALSO, they totally two different women, it would go without saying it.

But I guess, they wanted to make it even more screaming that it was the case, which I can understand why.

I mean, people thought that Rayan had really tried something with Marina, outside of his route: which for those people I always told it would be impossible.

It would go against what they presented to us about him during that first dialogue in episode 8 of UL and it would represent a contradiction in the writing itself. It would bend the rules that they set themselves to follow too grotesquely. Not to mention, MCL never gave other love interests to the Lis that stayed on the side lines.

Unless, of course, they had set things up that we would understand that Marina was such a special existence is moving like Candy - which, okay, I could've accepted it, but they didn't so. That's why I was so sure of it.

Y'know, have to read so much back in his route to make this post made saying goodbye to his route so hurtful but also so fulfilling, I always loved how they wrote him, despite having my criticisms, I am happy that I got to experience Rayan's route from the start to end.

If you haven't played his route like ever, I totally I encourage you to do it now that we got it all. xD

#my candy love #amour sucre #amor doce #corazon de melon #my candy love university life #my candy love love life #mclul #mcl #mclll #Rayan #May #personal #big post #screenshots #screenshot

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aheathen-conceivably · 4 months

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Hello! Merry Christmas and good luck in the new year! I have a question, I don’t know if it’s been asked already, but I’m interested to know which of your characters is closest to you in spirit? What traits do you have in common with him? And vice versa. Which character is the most difficult for you to write, which you do not always understand: his actions, words and motivation, because you are a real writer and are probably good at the psychology of heroes (I really apologize for the distorted sentences, because I am a foreign subscriber and use a translator)

Absolutely no need to apologize, Nonny! Everything looks great and thank you so much for taking the time to send these thoughtful questions 💕

Y’all already know the rambler in me is getting all excited, so prepare y’all selves! Though I must say, it’s quite hard to pinpoint an answer, mostly because there’s at least a small bit of myself in each of the characters and who’s easiest to write is not always who is the most like me? So naturally, let’s go below the cut, and I’ll split this into sections to make it easier for us to read 😘

1. My spirit characters:

Honesty time. I think that it’s easier for me to put my “negative” qualities into characters and thus also easier to recognize them in hindsight. This is probably because it’s simply often easier to see what needs to be improved in yourself than vice versa, but also probably because I’m a dramatic broad who likes giving her characters flaws.

So although I could probably find a bit of myself in most characters, I would say those who are most like me are Rosella, Zelda, and Violette. Just down to sims traits, Rosella and my simself actually both have the self-absorbed trait (oops). I think this manifests in different ways, but at its core I’m just as likely to follow my wants and cut ties as she is. I also have a ~rather strong~ proclivity for the aesthetic and vain, enjoying beautiful things for their own sake often to the point of distraction. However, I like to think that this is tertiary to me, and my pursuit of them is not as detrimental as it was for her.

Which brings us to, of course, Zelda. Zelda shares this love of the beautiful with her sister, although for her it can extend into the ephemeral and artistic rather than simply the mundane. I would say I share that tendency toward internal existentialism with her, as well as the proclivity to separate from my immediate surroundings rather than live in the present moment. I, like her, can thus often seem “out of it” but in reality we’re just interpreting our surroundings through a distorted, if not tinted lens. However, I’m by no means as artistically talented or reserved as Zelda, which brings us to….

Our little heiress, Violette. Now I’ll try not to get too deep into spoilers here, but Little Lottie and I definitely share some core tendencies. I, like her, despise being told what to do, and will usually become more stubborn or do the opposite simply because of what someone said (whether it’s well intentioned or not). I can also be gregarious, dramatic, and loud when I want to be, and enjoy being the center of attention. However, I think the Zelda in me tempers that so that I need to retreat back into my cave after a while, while Violette thrives on it. I was also raised an only child, so a lot of Lottie’s experience with loneliness and not knowing how to relate to other children is coming from my own childhood.

2. The easiest to write:

So oddly, I don’t think there’s a clear connection between the characters who are most like me and those I find easiest to write. Rather I think that comes from the historical situation that is currently inspiring me, which character fits into that inspiration the best, and how clear of a grasp I have on that character’s personality. This often comes in the form of scenes just appearing in my head, and as I write it’s like the sentences already exist? So there’s this natural understanding between the character and me, where I don’t really have to sort through thought rubble or force their perspective quite as much?

This answer is highly dependent on what part of the story we are currently in. As in, there have been times I have found a character easy to write, and then it will suddenly switch. Zelda is absolutely one of those characters, as her perspective came very naturally to me in parts of the 1910s and then again after motherhood. Now, I find it easier to write the characters surrounding her, and I’m sure it will switch again at some point in the future.

Currently? I find Josephine easiest to write (although she is not very similar to me at all, and her deep fear of commitment is something that I don’t share in the slightest), with Antoine coming in as a close second. Violette’s perspective in the 1940s has also kind of begun presenting itself to me, although at various points I would say that Adelia, Virginia, and Florence have all also been the easiest characters to write for, and those who’s voices have inspired me to come up with new scenes and plotlines.

3. Who even is she?

Now for the characters who are least like me? That one has gotta probably gotta go to Florence, Virginia, and Antoine. As much as I may want to be like Florence, I’m gunna be honest with y’all and say that is not the case. Starting with the fact that I strongly dislike the great outdoors. Farming? Nah. Camping? Absolutely not. Living of the land? What a pleasant dream. What can I say, I am absolutely a Rosella; I enjoy being fancy and comfortable, and Florence in some ways is the antithesis of this. She also embodies selfless generosity and a sort of steady love, which are not things that I would say I really relate to (I once again point you to answer 1 😅).

Now Virginia is a strange one. I was actually very concerned with writing her, because I share none of the righteousness or quickness to action that define her. Likewise, I don’t think that I am able to remain as steady and surefire in tragedy and trauma as she does. So when I first conceived her character I thought I would have great difficulty writing her, but as I mentioned above, despite the fact that she is probably the least similar to me of all the Darlingtons, I found her easy and almost natural to write once we began her storyline.

Which brings us to my baby boy. Sigh. I say this next because Antoine has easily been one of the most natural characters for me to write. I think this is because I had such a clear vision of him from the start that has really been able to grow through the story. So he’s remained who he is through it all, and why I still find him so easy to write.

Despite this, there is very little to none of me in his character, despite the fact that I maybe sorta have a thing for the broken artist stereotype (hello, hubs, I know you’re out there 😙). So there may be some ways in which I wrote my partner into his character’s talent and approach to the world around him, but he is heavily inspired by these ideas of “old fashioned masculinity”, of self-imposed stoicism and protection and fatherhood. These are feelings that I have to imagine rather than pull from experience, but somehow the more I write him the more real they become to me as well.

4. The ~struggle~

Hands down the hardest characters for me to write have been Oliver and Isaiah. I think that Oliver really suffered from the fact that he was my first gen heir, so I was at a place in the story and my writing process where I wasn’t as sure in what I was doing or as good at honing into what I wanted to do. Then by the time this became more clear to me, I had really begun to lean into writing Florence’s character and then his children. So he kind of became less of a focus, and the less I focused on him the harder it was for me to define his voice, which then became a cycle.

I think if I could go back, I would lean more into the connection that I see between him and the romantic poets, really kind of exploring that juxtaposition between idealized nature and reality. I also think his position as a pseudo-wealthy aristocratic and failed businessman had a lot of potential, but alas, you live and you learn.

Now onto the Forgotten Child. Y’all (and I) call him that for a reason, and I think next to his sisters it’s no secret that Isaiah received much less focus (I even have a post about him realizing this 😂). Part of this is just that he’s the youngest, so I really didn’t get much time to explore his adult life or even his teenage years. It’s also because trying to juggle six perspectives all at once means that some are going to suffer more than others.

Now that being said, I am happy with his storylines. However, they often felt more like I was exploring plots I had come up with rather than really viewing things through his perspective. I think this is the biggest challenge to me when having trouble writing a character: it’s that their voice is just for whatever reason not really clear in my mind. Even in the subsequent decades, our English Darlington updates are mostly going to come from Summer, because I still have never really gotten my finger on exactly who Isaiah is. For that reason, my poor forgotten baby boy is probably the most difficult character for me to write.

—

ALSO if you made it this far please know that turning your delightful questions into a multi-paragraph rant about myself is a very self absorbed and very Rosella/Violette thing to do so in the end…I think you have all the answer you need right there 🤣

#thank you all for coming to my Ted Talk 🫡#which is basically a demonstration of why the answer is Rosella #real cute look Alexis kill off your spirit character huh #also a very merry Christmas to you too Nonny!!#I hope that it was lovely ❤️🎄#ask #answered #Darlington extras

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coffinsister · 2 months

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Hi there!

I just wanted to let you know that I'd never heard of Saya no Uta until I saw you talking about it on my dash and I was like hey I'll look into that!! I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and it was definitely an experience. I've only played the route of choosing Saya and choosing to call Ryoko, so I still have to make the other choices to view all of the game's content, but I just wanted to come say thank you for giving me the second controversial piece of media I've been able to consume without my ocd throwing a bitchfit, because the whole story is fascinating from a psychological standpoint and that definitely drew me in.

I just wish the story was a little more 3D, I guess? Like the writing is overly descriptive of things it doesn't need to be descriptive of and underwhelming with the actual voiced dialogue. It's an extremely bizarre contrast. And from what little Japanese I've learn over the years out of SpInterest there are some translation points that aren't entirely accurate.

A big one is the fact that Saya speaks in third person which is a common cutesy mannerism for small children in Japanese media. In fact, she speaks super similarly to Maria Ushiromiya from Umineko ( complete with using 'uu!' for emphasis too ) which caused me to attach quickly to her for it. While it's true that this doesn't translate well into English, it does lose in translation just how young Saya really sounds while speaking. Because in Japanese she's saying things like 'Saya did this for Fuminori because Saya wants to be with Fuminori forever!' and it's getting translated as like 'I did this to make you happy. So you'll stay with me forever, right, Fuminori?' and those are two completely different tones. In fact, it's so overlooked from the English translation that this trope of hers isn't even mentioned on the The Song of Saya tvtropes page and that's wild to me.

Sorry, I didn't meant to turn this into a rant in your inbox asjklhd. Thank you for bringing this intriguing piece of media to my attention. 💖

Hiii, I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this ask but it was lovely getting it, so please don't apologize! We love getting long asks, and talking about our interests <3 And I'm really happy me basically screaming into the void about it, got you into it! That's great, that's exactly why I post about the things I like.

This was very interesting to read so thank you for sending it.

Side Thought: TV Troupes actually really really sucks for this kinda thing, it is widely innacurate with big media, and incredibly lacking for small media. So personally, I would not chuck TV Tropes lacking this as much to the (very bad, like super bad) official translation, as much as I would to the site just kinda sucking.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, the website is fun, like any other wiki is, I just have personal beef against it, do not mind me, old man yells at cloud.

The first route I finished was also the one with Ryouko, and tbh, in my opinion that's the best one, but obviously seeing the other endings gives a lot of extra information, and character depth, so I hope you play through them and enjoy them too.

And yeah, I feel you, I wish it was more 3D and that I could have cared more about the characters, the writing definetly feels too much like purple prose, and way too descriptive about meaningless things sometimes, while also compeltley glazing over others.

Also big big same about the translation, I already posted my long rant about it, but it's really such a shame, because Nitro+ is actually so good at conveying character through dialogue, like actually reading some of the VNs in Japanese is a whole new experience on its own

And exactly as you said, it would have been far easier to understand Saya is a literally preubecent child if the translation had shown how childishly she actually speaks, or another big one, we would have gotten to see more of just how badly Fuminori wants to show off in front of Saya and Yoh, if the translation had actually shown him avoiding being fully honest with Saya.

Like there's so so many moments in Japanese of him just going, Well, about that, you know... to Saya when she's asking him about their plans together, and he's very reluctant to ask her for help, even when he really needs it, until she blatantly offers it, and he takes it.

In the Official English version he literally just goes "Well, the thing, Saya is that I failed to kill Koji, any ideas about that?"

So much character missed there, I feel like also missing the honorifics isn't helpful or good, like Yoh calling Oumi, Oumi-chan makes them feel way way closer, than just college friends who hang out between classes. And it gives you a better sense that they care for each other.

My hot take about translations is that they shouldn't just accomodate to what's most familiar to the target audience, in this case USA people, it should just make the media more accesible. It isn't a failure of art if it is a bit of a struggle to engage with it, it's good to make an effort to try to understand foreign art, even when the way the text is presented, isn't super familiar or relatable to you.

This is basically what everybody who isn't from an English speaking country already does lol

#The first few people I met who had played tcoaal way back in the day got into it from me posting about it on a different sideblog and it #means so much to me to this day I wanna keep sharing what I like so maybe other people will like it too #I apply the same mentality to reblogging art and fics #I have actually never read Umineko I need to get in on that either way it's always lovely to see you around and I'm always up for #chatting about my silly little vns :)#soleil asks #saya no uta #longer answer to long ask

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yelenasdiary · 1 year

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Hi! Love your work, could I have a request if they are open, if not don’t worry.

Could you do a mediaeval Natasha story where they’re both in an arranged marriage and meet after a year of sending letters while they waited for (whoever the younger one is) to turn 18 so they could marry and rule over one of the kingdoms. They send portraits of one another before the meeting then when they meet they actually like each other since they’ve been talking over letter and share similar interests. Like y/n is also a knight and the only woman to do so in her whole kingdom because her father approved in her wanting to follow in his footsteps. Natasha wasn’t allowed so on their first meeting they sneak away from the boring wedding planning and go out on y/n’s horse and to her favourite spot outside the kingdom and y/n teaches Nat how to use a sword and how to fight, she trips and y/n catches her then they have their first kiss✨✨

Paper Love

Pairing: Princess! Natasha Romanoff x Knight! Reader

Summary: Falling for a princess was never the in your plans…

Translation: My peerless paramour (my sweetheart), hale be thou (be healthy), Beauteous (beautiful), My sweeting (my sweet one),

AC: I hope you don’t mind I made Nat a princess! This was something very different for me to write so I hope you enjoy this! Please forgive my poor attempt to make this feel as medieval as possible lmao.

"My peerless paramour, I awaiten for thee moment I see your beauteous self. I long to see your smile in person. I keep your portrait with me always.

Hale be thou, my peerless paramour.

~ Y/n of Zeus"

The princess smiled at your short but sweet letter, oh how she was excited to finally meet the one person who understood her the most. The one to make her smile and forget about her husband who cared no more for her. You were to marry the great Arthur of Maelstrom, a Kingdom that was a 9-day horseback ride from Zeus. Your father, the King was excited to throw the Kingdom the celebration that his youngest child was to wed. To say he had a soft spot for you was an understatement. When you said you wanted to be a Knight and follow in your father's footsteps before becoming King, your mother forbidden the dream and demanded you acted like a lady as that was what you were, a lady.

But your father somehow, without your understanding was able to convince your mother that in his Kingdom his children were to be as they wished. He didn't think you'd become a well skilled Knight like himself for you were a lady and it was very unusual for a lady to be doing activates that only men did. "See me in my chambers after breakfast my sweeting for I have a gift for you" your father nodded as you took your seat at the large dining table for breakfast.

The princess of Aksumite was said to be the most beautiful princess anybody had laid eyes on, and you longed to know her. Sending her a letter over a year ago, not expecting to hear a reply, you soon found the both of you had more in common than you could imagine. She too wanted to be a Knight, but her father would never allow it and she would follow in the footsteps of the Queen, her mother. Letters were sent back and forth once a week, keeping them as short and sweet as possible when your love started to bloom through the paper of words. If anybody found out about this affair, it was certain that the two of you would pay the price in death for such sinful love.

"Are you ready, Princess?" The voice of her husband made the hairs on the back of her neck stand tall, "Yes, my love. We shall aboard the carriage" she smiled with warmth before she followed closely behind him out to the main gates of the Kingdom. She wore her best dress and her golden hair styled to perfection; she was sure to make the best impression for when she laid eyes on you for the first time.

As requested, you met your father in his chambers. He welcomed you with a smile as he sipped his drink. "My child, my youngest" he turned to you, "Today you will be the one to take over the Kingdom" he spoke to your shock. "Don't look at me like that. Your sister has her own duties within her Kingdom. All this was meant to be yours. Arthur as agreed to move into the castle after the wedding, here you will raise your children to be next in line for the title" he explains more as his words run wildly through your mind.

"B-but father – "

"You will do this my child. You will be wed and live out your days here" he cut you off earning himself a light nod from yourself. It was never of any use to fight with him. "Now, I want to give you something very important to me. I trust you will look after it" he says before walking towards his weapon rack. Even as a child, you always admired the weapons he kept on display in his chambers, never being allowed to touch them almost drove you insane. He gently grabs one of his swords and turns to face you.

"This was given to me by my father, and I want you to have it. You have proven to be a great Knight my sweeting" he smiles softly as you take the sword from his hands with pride. "T-thank you father! I will cherish this as if it is my child" you can't hide the smile tugging at your lips. "You have made me very proud; I hope when the time comes you can pass this down to your son" he sips his drink once more, "now, we must get ready. Your soon to be husband is set to arrive shortly"

--2 days later--

The party was to be expected, a great turn out. Kings and Queens, Princesses and Princes from other Kingdoms coming together to celebrate the news of your wedding which is to be held in 4 days' time. Your eyes scanned the room for the Princess whose portrait followed you everywhere since the day it arrived, a small travel sized painting of the princess you longed to meet.

"You look lost" a voice made your heart race as you slowly turned to face the woman with green eyes and long golden hair, "Princess" you smiled softly, "you are more beauteous than I could ever image" you added making the young girl blush instantly. "We must not do this here" she mumbled as a guest walked by you both. "You have come alone?" You asked to keep from anybody over hearing. "No, I have come with my parents, sister and the man I am to wed" she replied, her eyes dropping at the mention of her soon to be husband. "You must be thirsty after such a ride, can I get you something to drink?" You asked, the princess nodded with a smile you could look at forever.

"Follow me, stay close" you returned the smile before leading her out of the party. "Where are you taking me?" She chuckled lightly, "I want to take you somewhere, a short horse ride, I will have you back before anybody notices our absence" you replied as you approached the stable. Your father's sword sat peacefully on your hip as you got up on your horse before lending the lady a helping hand. There was little conversation as you rode to your favorite place to be in peace, a short ride down the stream of the river and up the hillside to a large tree that's branches hung low to provide privacy.

"My lady" you smiled as you held your hand out to help her off the back of your horse, "please, call me Natasha" she replied as she got back on her feet. "Well, Natasha. It's finally nice to know the name that belongs to a beautiful soul", the woman blushed once more, "you are too kind. I have waited so long to meet you, to see you for myself. You are beautiful, I have never seen anybody like it" she smiled as she walked slowly besides you. Your cheeks beamed with a redness only she could give. "Is it true that your father allows you to be a Knight?" She asked.

"Yes. He is not long other Kings. He does not have a son, nobody to hand his wisdom too and I for one, do not like dressing up in big dresses as you are"

"I wish my father would listen to me, just once. I wish to know the secrets of a swords, the stories of a Knight and the adventures it takes. I don't like being locked up in a castle all the time, I want to see the land, the people!" She went on as you both came to a stop by a log, sitting beside one another for the first time.

"I could take you" you said without thinking, "Oh, don't be silly" Natasha giggled, "how could you ever take me on an adventure outside of my Kingdom? That would most certainly turn the heads of others" she added.

"Maybe so but you would enjoy it. It is beautiful, the things you see. The wild, the fresh air, the night sky"

"It all sounds beautiful but I'm to be a queen and nothing more"

"You are wrong. You are much more than a queen. To me….I would take you with me, if we could"

"But we cannot." Her tone shifted and her eyes fell to her hands in her lap as a silence grew between the both of you. "Have you ever used a sword before? You talk in one of your letters that you wanted to be a Knight" You asked to break the silence. Natasha looked up at you and shook her head lightly, "I have held one before as my father got off his horse, but I have never used one" she replied. Looking into her eyes, you slowly stood from the log and pulled out your father's sword and handed it to her. "Let me teach you" you smiled.

Natasha smiled softly and took the sword with your hand still around the handle as she rose from the log. You walked behind her and gently wrapped your free arm around her waist, "Stand with your left foot ahead of your right" you spoke as you held her into position, both her hands gripping the weapon tightly. "There are little angles of attack, I only know of 8 but my father knows many more. "Show me?" Natasha whispered as she watched your hands move on top of hers. "Move straight down from the top" you said as you showed her each of the attacks you knew of.

"Like this?" Natasha asked with a smile as she practiced the moves you just showed her while you took a step back, "that's right!" You smiled. You found a tough stick to use to let her put her new skills to use, "Oh no! what if I hurt you?" She stopped once she saw the stick in your hand. "It's okay, you won't" you assured her, "I want to show you how to defend yourself. Attack me" you coached her. She was hesitant at first but eventually came at you with some of the moves you taught her. You blocked each one, using the stick to playfully fight back as she giggled nervously. "You're becoming a natural" you smiled.

"Well I know the greatest Knight" Natasha smiled as she took a few steps closer to you. Not watching where she was walking, she tripped over a few twigs. Acting faster than you have ever done before, you dropped your stick weapon and caught the princess before her dress could be ruined in the dirty. "I'm so sorry!" She looked up at you with rosey cheeks, you looked into her eyes, holding her in your arms as she tried to hide her nervous smile. "You're beautiful my princess" you spoke in an almost whisper as you brushed the loose hairs from her face, "so beautiful" you added.

Slowly, you lean forward and press your lips gently on hers. Any feeling of the kiss being deemed as wrong or sinful never crossed your mind as she gripped your arms and kissed you back with love. The fluttering feeling in your stomach bursted with butterflies as the kids got deeper and longer, only stopping before the two of you suffocated. Natasha smiled softly before running her tongue over her lips as she looked into your eyes, "do you kiss every princess like that?" She asked.

"I…I've never k-kissed a woman before let alone a princess, I am sorry…I wasn't thinking" you replied in a panic as you helped the princess back on her feet. Natasha chuckled slightly before cupping your face, "kiss me again" she spoke softly. Without being asked twice you crashed your lips on hers again, pulling her closer into your body. It was wrong. It was full of sin but it was beautiful and felt so right. You never wanted to let the princess go.

"I do not wish to wed a man….not when my feelings for you are so strong" you said after breaking the second kiss. "Then we meet here once a week at sunset" Natasha suggested but it was too far of a ride on her behalf. "No" you shook your head, letting her out of your hold, "I will come to you, if that is what you wish" you added.

——

From that night onwards, once a week, you would sneak out and meet the princess nearby her Kingdom and lay under the stars with her in your arms, kissing her whenever you pleased, hearing about her day, teaching her more about defending herself and how to use a sword. She loved every second with you, even though you both knew that it was wrong.

She'd always be your princess and you'd always be her knight.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #fanfiction

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outstandingblue · 1 year

Text

Promises to Keep

Sixteen - Playin' Around

recom!miles quaritch x fem!na'vi oc

It's a bitch to get a taste of your own medicine.

cross-posted on ao3 here content warning: an attempt at hurt-comfort(ish), shits and gigs word count: 5.7k

“How are you feeling today?”

“Much better. Ready to get these out. They’re itchy.” Jiniraa answered, trying her best not to gag at the overwhelming antiseptic that lingered in the air. The smell in the actual medical wing was overwhelming compared to Renia’s office.

Renia nodded and slid her chair across the room to grab her tweezers and scissors before pushing off again and sliding right back to where Jiniraa waited. Lurking along the wall, Miles rolled his eyes at the doctor’s childish antics, but he knew better than to say anything forthright.

She had launched a textbook at his head the first time he made a snide comment and her scissors gleaned under the lights. They would be a much deadlier weapon than an oversized textbook. He had tried to make peace with Renia, but it was a work in progress. She made the Colonel work for her peace, not just accept his mumbled ‘thank you’ as he avoided eye contact. Regardless, the two managed to remain relatively civil over the past week since Jiniraa woke up. They were forced to interact when Jiniraa came in for her daily evaluations, so they fought to suppress their insults that just begged to be unleashed.

It had been a week. A week since their intimate moment and kiss outside, but no one brought it up. Not once. Their gazes would linger longer than usual, but neither had the guts to say anything. Their dynamic was complicated to say the least. In public, Miles made a point to keep his distance from Jiniraa, but tried to keep her within his line of sight. He would hover in the background - like he was doing right now - and try to look busy and make work out of nothing.

On the other hand, Jiniraa didn’t know what to think about much of it. Did she want the kiss? Absolutely - one could argue she was the main instigator. Does that mean she magically forgot everything Quaritch did the moment their lips touched? Well, maybe for the moment, but everything came rushing back right after: the destruction of Hometree, the killing of hundreds of innocent Na’vi, the threatening of the Sully children, and every other heinous crime Miles and Quaritch committed. So, she retreated inward.

After they disconnected and Miles made his declaration for her, the words flowed from her lips before she was able to think, too caught up in the emotional and physical sensations. I see you, Miles. What was she thinking saying those words? He couldn’t have understood, even if he was fluent in Na’vi, he wouldn’t understand the weight of those words. Now, Miles had no clue what she said - a failed translation attempt from Spider only left him more frustrated.

Since the Recoms tended to move in groups, he knew they could be trusted with Jiniraa’s wellbeing, but there wasn’t a moment outside the housing district where she was left without an escort. When asked, Miles chalked it up to makin’ sure you don’t start bleedin’ to death again. It should be noted that Miles always made sure to escort her to and from the medical wing. He would argue this was the most logical course of action - he would get the information from the source, not some second-hand account from Wainfleet or Zdinarsk.

The private and public spheres of Jiniraa and Miles were completely different stories. In public, Miles kept Jiniraa at arm's length, limiting their interactions to brief conversations with none of his usual charm. At meals, he would sit at the other end of the table. He was relentless in training, pushing her harder than anyone else. In private and protected from the intrusive Bridgehead crowds, Jiniraa and Miles were free to be themselves. Rather than exploring their physical intimacy, their emotional intimacy had grown much deeper. Once Miles’ door closed behind them, they were back in their little domestic bubble. Once they passed through the threshold to his quarters, there wasn’t any discussion of Ardmore or the greater mission at hand. It was only Miles and Jiniraa and that was all they needed. Did they share a few passing kisses here and there? Sure. The only thing they didn’t talk about was their kiss outside - little stolen pecks were fine to giggle about but the epic kiss under the stars was off limits.

In the absence of interaction with Miles in public, Jiniraa had grown closer to the other Recoms. She was already closer with Lyle and Zdinarsk out of everyone, but she made leaps and bounds with Lopez, Prager, and Ja. Mansk was a slightly different story because he wasn’t much of a conversationalist. Although she wasn’t able to participate, she’d watch from the sidelines as the Recoms messed around with each other in the courtyard. If he wasn’t stuck in meetings with the General, Miles would try to show off in whatever activity the group found themselves engrossed in, but it only earned him a few laughs and eyerolls.

Lopez may have been on the smaller side compared to the rest of the team, but he easily was the most competitive when it came to sports - even resorting to dirty plays. Prager was a good sport, just happy to be there. Ja was somewhere in between the two - not quite as constantly pumped as Lopez and Lyle, but also not as casual and mellow as Prager and Zdinarsk. The second day after Jiniraa woke up, Spider told her about Ja’s efforts to keep her alive. Using some materials she’d been collecting for a while, she made Ja a bracelet - both a thank you for saving her life and semi-apology for knocking him out in the forest all those weeks ago. Ja just laughed, knocking her shoulder saying “just another day on the job.” He didn’t show it outright, but the words stuck with him for the rest of the day. Although it was against RDA regulation, he proudly tied his bracelet onto his medical pouch.

“Alrighty, you’re all done. You’re gonna scar, but other than that you shouldn’t have much else to worry about.” Renia disposed of her gloves, cleaning off the bed. Jiniraa was lost in her thoughts for a second, not even realizing Renia had already finished taking the stitches out. “You haven’t been having any pain when you walk, right?”

“No, I do not have any pain there anymore,” Jiniraa answered, sliding off the hospital bed and repositioning her pants. She was still stuck wearing Bridgehead-issued clothing, but they were only a temporary problem. She already had plans to make her next article of clothing, but she just needed more materials. “Spider says I have not been limping, but I did not notice.”

“That’s a good thing,” Miles grumbled, pushing himself off the wall. In front of Renia, they didn’t have to be as reserved with their interaction compared to the rest of Bridgehead. They couldn't go full on make out or anything, but they also didn’t have to pretend to hate each other.

“The Colonel is right - as much as I hate to admit,” Renia mumbled, ignoring how Miles pinned his ears. “That bullet must’ve been the cause of all that after all. You really don’t remember getting shot?”

“Be nice,” Jiniraa slapped Miles’ on the arm, glaring at him for his rudeness.

“I don’t do nice.”

Jiniraa decided it was better to ignore him as she continued. “When they found me in the forest, I was already bleeding from that area. I don’t remember being injured, just the aftermath. There’s nothing from before that day.”

Renia nodded, scribbling something down in her notepad. Miles’ eyes were trained on the floor, deep in thought. With a tentative tap on the shoulder, Jiniraa snapped the Colonel out of his daze. His head shot up, meeting Jiniraa’s mildly curious gaze. She had been finding him stuck in his thoughts more and more often. He cleared his throat, “all done?”

Jiniraa nodded, turning around to bid Renia goodbye. The doctor didn’t even look up from her notes as she waved back. A few weeks ago, Jiniraa was clueless when it came to navigating the halls of Bridgehead, but now she knew certain sectors like the back of her hand. The knowledge was a double-edged sword: it was nice not to need a guide, but everytime she turned a corner without contemplating the direction, it felt like a small part of her native self died.

“Jiniraa, slow your roll.” Miles jogged to catch up. She basically darted out of the medical wing, not able to stand the chemical smell anymore.

Jiniraa. The name was a punch to the gut. He stopped using those nicknames in public. No more sweetheart and no more baby, even after all those sweet words he said last week. None of it in public. He addressed her using her actual name - historically, he used it out of pure desperation. Those few times in the forest? He was terrified of losing her. Why did he use her actual name now? It was still desperation, but a different type. Ardmore’s threats plagued his thoughts, so he was keenly aware of his word choice, meticulously managing every single syllable.

Jiniraa didn’t even wait for Miles as she pushed ahead towards the mess hall. As usual, when Jiniraa joined the Recoms at their dining table in the mess hall, all eyes were on them - or her specifically. She’d grown used to the constant unwanted attention, so it didn’t bother her anymore but it didn’t sit right with everyone else - especially Miles. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place when it came to Jiniraa. Ever since Ardmore made her threats clear, Miles knew he couldn’t step out of line because it would risk her and Spider. On the other hand, hearing rumors floating around the nameless humans that crowded the corridors of Bridgehead made him indescribably irritated - at one breakfast he broke a set of utensils from how aggressively he was cutting into his food.

Miles Quaritch was never one to care about how he was perceived by those around him, as long as they feared and respected him he didn’t give a rats ass about what they thought, but a recent discovery of Bridgehead social strata had begun eating away at him. According to Bridgehead gossip, Jiniraa died during her surgery and that was why the Colonel had been so irritable while she was in her comatose state. Another rumor said he was the one who killed her in the forest in a blind fit of rage, this of course was debunked when she made her return to civilization and the other theory became all the rage.

“So, what’d the doc say?” Zdinarsk asked with a mouth full of food once Jiniraa settled between Lopez and Ja - at the other end from Miles.

Jiniraa gave a thumbs up, one of the many human gestures Lopez had taught her in the past week. Some were innocent, others were incredibly profane. “Stitches are out. Renia said I’m cleared for everything.”

Prager sighed, throwing his head back as he looked up to the ceiling. “I wish I saw the doc more.”

Lopez laughed, eyebrows creasing together, “you what?”

“You know,” Prager began, bringing both hands up in front of his chest, “she got a nice rack.”

“Excuse me?” Mansk challenged from a few seats down, suddenly interested in the conversation. “Wanna say that again?”

Prager held a finger up at Mansk, already feeling his death glare burning into his soul. “I’m just saying Mansk, you’re one lucky man.”

“You are fucking disgusting,” Zdinarsk mumbled, focusing back on her food rather than the idiots in front of her.

Jiniraa watched as Prager tried - and failed - to rationalize his case to Mansk, who had slid his dark shades up, exposing his irritation and borderline wrath. Lopez bumped his elbow against the woman next to him, he already had a dangerous grin as his eyes twinkled with mischief, “that means you’re playin’ with us today?”

“I would like that, thank you, Lopez,” she smiled back, engaging in an insignificant conversation with the tattooed Recom. At the other end of the table, Miles glowered at his subordinate. Lopez could feel the Colonel’s stare, but he paid it no attention. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was just being nice and inviting Jiniraa to participate in their little games.

Daringly, Lopez glanced past Jiniraa and made eye contact with the Colonel before focusing back on her and gave his most flirtatious grin, “anytime, sweets.”

Miles growled under his breath, stabbing his fork into his food. Looks like another set of utensils were about to meet their untimely end. Next to him, Lyle smirked, knowing exactly what was bothering the Colonel, “hey boss. Everything ‘ight?”

“Don’t.”

Miles didn’t know this, but all the Recoms had a bet on how long it would take before he snapped and made a scene in public. They would push a little more each day, being extra flirty and teasing Jiniraa all in attempts to get a rise out of the Colonel. Miles was gagged - unable to say anything without blowing his “cover”, but seeing that little purple blush that encroached on her ears when Lopez shot a quick wink almost pushed Miles over the edge. She shouldn’t be giggling at his snide jokes or blushing at his nicknames or trading culture with the Recom - those are all things she should be doing with him. He royally messed up - his theory to push her away was biting him in the ass.

So that’s how Jiniraa found herself outside with a few of the Recoms. For the past few days, she was just an observer. It was refreshing - they weren’t Marines or Recoms anymore. They were just a group of young adults messing around and getting pumped up on competition.

“So you understand the rules?” Lopez snapped his fingers in front of her face, already knowing she wasn’t listening. Jinraa stood there dumbfounded as Lopez rolled his eyes, lightly pushing her shoulder, “too caught up in that pretty lil’ head of yours, ma.” Jiniraa averted her gaze as an involuntary blush rose. “Tie this around your waist. Put the hanging parts at your hips. Here, like this.”

Jiniraa nodded, adjusting the fabric to replicate what was on Lopez. They had already been divided into teams. She was with Mansk, Lyle, and Zdinarsk while the other team was Miles, Lopez, Prager, and Ja. Spider would be their referee for the day, a suggestion Jiniraa made to keep the teenager involved. He couldn’t use a normal whistle because of the mask, but the screeching buzzer Lyle had in his bag (for whatever reason) made up for it. Spider menacingly laughed the first time he pressed the button and Jiniraa knew right away he was already plotting to terrorize the Recoms with it.

“Hey Lopez!” Zdinarsk called a few yards away as she stretched, “we playin’ full tackle today? Little lady is with us.”

Miles went to object - she hadn’t even been cleared by Renia for two hours, but Jiniraa beat him to the chase, “I want to play how you normally do. Don’t change for me.”

Zdinarsk laughed, popping a bubble before spitting out her gum, “alright then, get ready to get your shit rocked. Who’s shirts and skins today?”

This time, Miles didn’t have to interject as Lopez had already moved to take off his shirt, waving it above his head. He was getting a little too enthralled at today's game. Miles shook his head, making sure to hold eye contact with Jiniraa as he untucked his tank from his belt and peeled it off his skin.

The teams lined up in the middle of the clearing, Spider placed in between them as he held an avatar-sized football in his hands. “Everyone ready?”

Every single Recom had dangerous smirks and ravenous glints in their eyes. This was their favorite time of the day, evident in how they bounced on their feet when Spider moved to toss the ball into the air.

Right before the ball left Spiders fingertips, Jiniraa and Miles glanced at each other at the same time. His facial expressions were more exaggerated than the rest of his unit, a devilish grin and gleaming eyes, “you ready?”

Her eyes flicked down to his bare chest for one moment before hardening her expression at his obvious taunts, “of course I am.”

Miles sent her a wink, something daring to do given their current location, but it clearly was a tactical decision. A way to stun Jiniraa momentarily as Spider tossed the ball into the air, giving Miles a chance to grab it before throwing it towards Lopez who was already running towards the water-bottle-marked end zone.

Lyle chased after Lopez, feet sending dirt and grass into the air as he reached to grab Lopez’s flags, but he was just a little too far. Lopez maniacally laughed as he crossed into the end zone, making a point to slam the football into the ground before triumphantly kicking a leg into the air and yelling out, “oh fuck yeah - you see that Wainfleet? That bald ass head is too slow to keep up!”

Lyle’s eyes turned to slits, but his lopsided grin said otherwise. As payback, Lyle gave Lopez’s queue a sharp tug as he sauntered by. To make matters worse, Prager clapped his hands on Lyle’s shoulders as he moved back to center field, “no need to be a sore loser, Lyle!”

Lyle shook off Prager’s gloved hands, “you got one fucking point. You didn’t win.” Their team circled up, making sure they were out of earshot of the other team. “Alright. I am not going to lose to those bastards today. I’ll throw the ball to Z-Dog. Mansky-”

“I hate it when you call me that.”

“-too bad. You go after Ja and Prager while Z runs down. I’ll take care of Lopez.”

The Recoms agreed, moving to break the circle before Jiniraa spoke up. “What about me?”

“You have the most important job of all - distract the boss.” Lyle winked.

Not catching his drift, Jiniraa tilted her head, “how?”

Lyle smirked, “I’m sure you’ll figure out a way. Alright, break.”

Since Lopez scored first, Jiniraa’s team was given possession of the ball. She hadn’t quite grasped the rules of the game, even though she’s watched half a dozen before. A certain someone often distracted her from the logistics of the game: his muscles and glistening skin were often more entertaining than the sport. Since that’s how Miles distracted her before, Jiniraa decided to use her own charms against the Colonel.

As Spider pressed his ear-shattering buzzer, everyone moved instantaneously. Lyle threw the ball to Zdianrsk as planned and Miles moved to cut off Jiniraa. Exactly what she wanted. He stood there, arms outstretched and ready to grab at her if she tried to slip past, but he didn’t expect her to stand there with bedroom eyes and a surly expression. Something he’d never seen from her, even in their mild makeout sessions in his room - things never got to that stage before one of them stopped. This time, it was Miles’ turn to be stunned as she winked before glancing over his shoulder to see how far Zdinarsk traveled before Lopez tackled her. Almost half way, not too bad. With a second wink, Jiniraa jogged past Miles to join the rest of the team.

Miles chuckled, “oh you little minx.”

Jiniraa smugly shrugged her shoulders, yelling back, “just using your own tactics, sir.”

Miles gulped, instinctively straightening his posture as the designation rolled off her tongue. He shook his head, trying to suppress the explicit thoughts that invaded his mind, “Christ, what have I gotten myself into?”

Cursing and yelling took over the field as the game grew increasingly heated. Lopez began his dirty plays after the twenty minute mark, resorting to pulling people’s tails rather than flags and accidentally tripping others. He was careful enough to keep his tricks out of Spider’s eyeline.

“Score is ten-ten. You guys are tied.” Spider announced, grabbing the ball from Miles.

“That’s right!” Miles exclaimed, pumping his arm in triumph after scoring his most recent tough down. He was oozing confidence, jutting his chin out and cocking an eyebrow as he passed Jiniraa. She couldn’t help but admire how his dog tags bounced off his chest as he shook his entire upper body.

“Circle up!” Lyle shouted. “Alright, I’m going to give the ball to you this time, princess. You’re fast and agile. Just make a dash down the field, yeah? We’ll take care of those bitches.”

It would’ve been the first time the ball was purposefully thrown to Jiniraa. She was on the receiving end of Lyle’s cannon of an arm once before - it was a Hail Mary at the end of the second quarter but Prager managed to tackle her before the ball was secure in her arms. Prager didn’t hold back in his assault - the scuffs of dirt on her skin and blades of grass sticking out of her hair were proof enough. Jiniraa nodded, the competitiveness of the Recoms was beginning to rub off on her. “I got it.”

“Hey, let’s go ‘Niraa’s team! We have three minutes left on the clock!” Spider yelled from center field, hands raised in exasperation at having to wait. Miles stood behind him, hands on his hips. Lopez tapped at his wrist three times to taunt everyone.

Lyle ignored Lopez as he continued, but pointed right at Spider, “I prefer ‘Lyle’s team’.”

“No.” Spider shook his head, not caring how he bruised Lyle’s ego. He scoffed before plucking the ball out of his grip. Spider turned away to hide his smile - he loved getting under the Recoms skin as much as possible. It was one of the only things that made life at Bridgehead bearable.

By this point, Miles considered himself somewhat of an expert on Jiniraa’s body language, so he knew something was up when she fiddled with her fingers as Lyle looked around at his team. He knew the ball was going to her, but he’d let her have her fun for now.

As expected, Jiniraa dashed past the opposing team and tried to offer Lyle an opening. It was a good thing his throw was aimed directly for her chest because it bounced out of her arms before she secured it down to run. Miles faked out Zdinarsk, spinning past her to chase Jiniraa as she sprinted down the field. Given her height and injury, she was no match and he closed the gap in a matter of seconds.

“Oh no you don't, baby.”

Jiniraa’s steps faltered as the nickname reached her ears. Between his stripping, the wink, and now the nickname, he clearly was using their undefined relationship dynamic against her, a dangerous move given their location. It’s not like Jiniraa was a saint in the matter - she’d been using the same tactics, but hers were a little more discreet.

Miles reached forward to grab the flag on her hip, but decided fuck it and pushed off the ground to tackle her instead. He wasn’t going to haphazardly tackle her like Prager did earlier - no, he wouldn’t risk injuring her as his weight came down. In a split second, Jiniraa felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind as they twisted in the air, making sure he would take the brunt of the impact.

As Miles rotated their bodies in the air, he managed to spin Jiniraa around to face him. When he hit the ground, she landed right on his waist. Her mouth dropped open in shock, not able to comprehend how Miles managed all that in a matter of seconds. Miles smirked from below, reveling in her expression before pushing up on his hands. The movement made her slip down from his waist to press against his hips. He tried to ignore the weight of her body as it pressed into his groin before reaching down and pulling on the flags around her waist.

“Flag down,” he smirked. Given their current situation, they were at eye-level for once. With a snarl, Jiniraa tried to stand up, but Miles flipped them over so Jiniraa was pinned to the ground. Her hair spread out against the grass, braid falling over her bare shoulder. Her pupils were so blown out that the green was almost completely gone.

They hadn’t mated, but that didn’t mean their bodies were immune to reacting as they were placed in compromising situations. This time, she wasn’t making the surly expression on purpose - it was her body’s natural response to having Miles on top of her, large hands on either side of her head. He straddled her waist as powerful thighs encased her softer body, muscles not even strained as he supported his massive body weight.

Miles could get used to this image of Jiniraa below him. She felt the same, heat rushing to her core as she tracked a single bead of sweat travel down the expanse of his chest. She almost threw all her values away right then and there as he bent over and nipped at her neck.

Her head lulled to the side for a second, allowing him to explore more, but her breathy response made Miles groan into her neck, “Miles…public - we’re in public.”

Miles sighed as he pulled back, realizing she did have a point. There were too many eyes around. He reluctantly pushed himself off her before jumping to his feet. Jiniraa ignored his outstretched hand, brushing the dirt off her legs as she bent over to pick up her flag.

“I could’ve helped you, you know.” He tried to banter with her, but she only shot him a playful glare before jogging off. He couldn’t help the way his tail swished and his ears pushed forward to full attention as exhilaration took over.

Lopez snickered as Miles rejoined his team, “nice tackle, boss. A little much don’t you think?”

“No clue what you’re talkin’ about, Lopez.” Miles challenged, eyes trained on Jiniraa as she laughed with her own team. Lopez hummed, obviously not believing a word the Colonel said.

In the end, Miles’ team reigned victorious as Lopez’s dirty tricks managed to pay off once again. Lyle was pissed, but there wasn’t anything they could do about it. Lopez was slick enough to hide his tactics from Spider’s watchful eye, so there was no way of getting caught, even though Lyle complained the entire time. It’s not like Spider wanted Miles’ team to win - if anything, he was making calls in favor of Jiniraa’s team time and time again, but that wasn’t enough to secure a win for them. The final score was eleven-ten as Ja managed to intercept a ball meant for Mansk and dashed for the endzone just as the clock ran out.

The sun was beginning to set as the humans started clearing the outdoor space, retreating inside for dinner. Jiniraa sat down on the grass, watching as the sky blurred into rich reds and oranges. Miles approached, dropping a water bottle into her lap, “can I sit?”

Jiniraa nodded, not pulling her eyes away from the sky as Miles plopped on the ground, a little ‘hmph’ forced out as he made impact. Jinraa giggled, a soft smile placed on her lips.

“What’s so funny, hen?” Miles jeered. Jiniraa looked over her shoulder, giving Miles a once over before shaking her head. His tank top was still off and slung across his shoulder, abdominal muscles defined by how he leant back on one arm.

The lower half of her face was hidden in her shoulder, but Miles could see evidence of a smile as the sunset hit her eyes. Without thinking, he reached forward and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, allowing his nails to graze the sensitive shell. Jiniraa’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact.

“Still in public,” Jiniraa reminded, but made no effort to make him stop.

Miles glanced around, “humans are all inside. The bozos over there are trying to teach Spider how to throw a football. I found a human sized one yesterday.”

“You did?” Jiniraa opened her eyes just slightly, enough to see the softened expression Miles held as he continued to study her features.

He hummed, “yeah, didn’t want him to feel left out.” As if on cue, Spider laughed out as he managed to hit Lopez square in the side of the head. The Recom let out a string of curses as Lyle almost fell to the ground in laughter, saying it was what he deserved.

“That’s sweet of you,” Jiniraa offered up, watching the situation unfold past Miles.

Miles grumbled, “I’m not sweet.”

Jiniraa rolled her eyes at his response - he didn’t know how to take a compliment. With a sigh, she pulled her head away from his touch and returned to watching the sunset.

“Sky is pretty tonight,” Miles offered after a few minutes of silence.

Jiniraa didn’t respond. Not even a hum or nod. Since Miles was leaning back on his hands, he was given a perfect view of her side profile. A single tear rolled down her cheek, highlighted as the light hit it. He pushed himself forward to get a better look, making sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks. Jiniraa remained with her back straight as another tear followed. This time, Miles couldn’t help as he swiped it away. She didn’t move to swat his hands away - she didn’t move as her eyes remained trained forward.

Miles took her chin between his thumb and index finger, lightly pulling her to face him. She resisted for a second, but even when her head turned towards him, she refused to make eye contact, preferring to watch as everyone cheered when Spider finally threw the ball correctly.

“Baby, what is it?”

Jiniraa shook her head, trying to pull away but Miles only tightened his grip. His eyes searched her, both face and body trying to decipher what was wrong. He even glanced down to her hip, trying to see if she somehow started bleeding again.

Jiniraa finally swatted his hand away, wrapping her arms around her knees, “it’s nothing.”

“You wouldn’t be cryin’ if it was nothing.” Miles offered. Jiniraa mumbled something under her breath, muffled as she buried her head into her knees. “What’s that?”

“Confused,” it came out a little clearer.

“About?” Miles continued to pry.

“You!” Jiniraa spun to face him. Her chest heaved as she held eye contact as long as she could bare before burying her face into her knees once more. Miles remained silent and Jinraa even wondered if he managed to sneak away. Hesitantly, Jiniraa peaked out from her hiding place to glance at Miles. He was still there. He looked younger in this soft light, the creases of his face weren’t present and his eyes looked a little brighter. It wasn’t angered or disgusted or anything bad. It was soft and full of love.

“It’s just,” she paused and groaned, “everyday I feel myself falling further and further from my family, from my people. I’m getting so wrapped up in life here that I am losing myself.”

Miles processed for a moment, “I see.”

Wrong choice of words, buddy.

Jiniraa spun to face him, bouncing up to rest on her knees as her chest began to heave again. She stuck a finger into his bare chest, but Miles did nothing to stop her, letting her have the moment, “no, that is the problem. You do not see. You do not know what it means to see and that is the problem. I see you, but you do not see me. Not the way I want.”

Miles held her gaze steady, not looking away for one second. He’d heard Spider and Jiniraa talking about their ‘seeing’ stuff, but none of it made sense to him. “What do you want?”

“To go back to the forest. To go back to my family. To give Spider his life back. To get my life back.” Jiniraa listed, not breaking their eye contact either.

Miles pressed further, beginning to lean in ever so slightly, “is that all?”

“No,” Jiniraa sighed and looked away. Miles held his breath as he waited for her response. “You. I want you, but that is the problem. I want you and I cannot have you. Not truly. Not with everything else I want.”

“We’re going back out tomorrow, if that makes you feel better,” Miles offered, trying to cheer her up. Based on the way her eyes dropped down and hair tail fell still against the ground, it wasn’t the right thing to say. He completely ignored her blatant declaration of feelings, making her choke back a whimper. He pursed his lips, glancing back at the rest of the group as they remained engrossed with Spider. “Come’ere.”

Jiniraa glanced up, this time her eyes were downturned and teary rather than playful like earlier. Miles waited with one arm open, inviting her to sit between his legs. Slowly, she moved to place herself in front of him, a sigh of relief escaping her as his arms pulled her flush against his chest. She continued to watch the last remaining bit of light recede over the horizon as Miles pressed his lips against her temple, pausing to take a deep inhale of her scent.

“Just so you know, you don’t have to want me. I promised myself to you that night under the stars. You have me as long as you want me.” Miles affirmed before his tone lightened into a little chuckle, “it’s me who wants you, baby. It’s been that way for a while.”

And well friends, that meant everything.

Next - Seventeen - To See and To Choose

●●●

i'm sorry this chapter is shorter than usual. school has been kicking my ass recently and i have a lot going on since i'm graduating in may and have grad school and moving abroad within the next few months. i like to use this story as a little brain break and creative outlet, so i do apologize for clumsy storytelling or if you just hate it lmao. this was kinda a filler chapter because i just didn't have the emotional strength to write the next chapter (you're gonna like it hopefully winky winky).

i appreciate any feedback you have to offer!

Taglist - let me know if you'd like to be added

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

@oceandeepthirst2

@bolggerist

@mxddymay

@ttreader

@luciddasher

@sofiebstar

@azilove

@fairycaitlin

@graysonmalik2550

@quaritchxx

@dakotali

@lillybbyy

@biggestsimpever191919

@cr1mz0n-wh0r3

@waterborn-phoenix

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andydrysdalerogers · 8 months

Text

Yours Submissively ~ Intrigued

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N Taglist is open!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Innocence

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

“Isabella?”

Belle turned around to see Steve standing next to the table looking down at her. She stood up quickly. “Mr. Rogers, hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Stark Industries asked me to be a liaison for someone at this table and I’m just waiting for them to arrive.”

Steve chuckled at how flustered Belle was. She had no idea that her contact was him.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about the violet blue eyes that had tumbled into his office. She intrigued him but she didn’t give him much to go on. So having her here delighted him. He could see if she was up to the challenge of being his.

“I think you are actually here to sit with me Miss Davis.” He pointed to the cards on the table. All of the six others were partnered off. Mr. Stark with Mrs. Potts-Stark, Mr. Wilson with a Mrs. Romanoff-Wilson and Miss Maximoff with Mr. Vision.

“Oh. I hadn’t realized.” She looked down at her own card. Miss Isabella Davis and next to it was Mr. Steven Rogers.

“Well, if you would like to be seated again Miss Davis,” Steve pulled Belle’s chair again, allowing her to sit.

“Thank you, Mr. Rogers.” Steve took the seat next to her. “I’m not sure what I am doing here.”

“Well, usually at these events, I have someone to talk to and dance with. I usually bring a friend but I had forgotten this event and Wanda, excuse me, Miss Maximoff was kind enough to assist me with a liaison.”

Belle wasn’t sure what to say. She was nervous to look at the gorgeous former super soldier. She had grown up knowing his story but it felt inappropriate to bring up his history. She scrambled to think of what else to say. “So, you own a business now?” She mentally kicked herself.

Steve chuckled. “Yes, I wasn’t sure what to do after I…” he hesitated.

“You left your previous job?” Belle offered.

Steve was grateful. “Yes, after I left, I wanted to build something of my own. I got a loan and here we are.”

“You have great business sense,” Belle said. “I mean, its hard to start your own business, let alone make it as successful as yours has become.”

“Thank you, Isabella. May I ask, how did you end up at Stark?”

“Well, my best friend Lila said I should sign up for this internship, even though it wasn’t in my field of study.”

“You’re not in the engineering program?”

“No, I’m finishing my degree in education and history.” Belle chewed her lip.

Steve tried to keep his breath steady, watching Belle bite her bottom lip. He recalled her statement and it piqued his interest. “Education?”

“Yeah, it’s my dream to become a teacher. Preferable for younger children. Shape the future.” Steve watched as Belle’s eyes took the look of dreaminess as she talked about her passion. Christ, how pretty would she look on her knees with that look, he thought to himself. He mentally shook himself.

“That’s a wonderful dream Isabella.”

“Thank you, Steve.” Steve’s heart leaped at the use of his first name again. Its like they were old friends. Just when he went to touch her, a throat cleared behind him.

“Nice to see you here Rogers, thought you might bail.” Tony Stark smirked at his former co-leader.

“Tony, be nice,” Pepper Potts-Stark admonished her husband. “Steve, hi, nice to see you,” as Steve stood to greet them.

“It’s always a pleasure Pepper, especially watching you put him in his place.” He kissed Pepper’s cheek and shook Tony’s hand. “I was just getting to know your intern here.” He gestured to Belle.

“Ah, Belle, it’s nice to see that you could join us,” Tony said. He made it a point to get to know all of his interns. Belle started to blush at the attention.

“It’s nice to see you too Mr. Stark.”

“Have you met my wife?” Tony moved to gesture to Pepper. “Pepper this is Belle Davis, one of our interns.”

“Nice to meet you, Miss Davis.”

“Please call me Belle.” Belle noticed more people joining the table.

Steve took over making the introductions. “Sam, Natasha, this is one of Tony’s interns, Isabella Davis. Isabella, this is my CFO, Sam Wilson and his wife and my COO Natasha Romanoff-Wilson.” Belle shook hands with everyone, trying not to show her nerves at being introduces to the former Avengers.

Soon everyone was seated with the exception of Wanda and Vision, who were at the podium at the front welcoming everyone to the gala. Dinner was served and Belle concentrated on her plate as the conversation swirled around her. Steve could sense that she was tense and assumed it was the fact that she felt out of place. As soon as the plates were cleared, Steve stood up and offered his hand to Belle. “May I have this dance, Miss Davis.”

“Of course, Mr. Rogers.” Belle allowed herself to be escorted to the dance floor where music from the 40s were played by the band. Steve took her into his arms and started to dance.

“Are you nervous Belle?”

“A little. People are kinda looking at us.” Belle had glanced around the room.

“Its only because you are so beautiful.” Steve watched her expression change from concern to shock.

“Mr. Rogers…”

“Steve, please.”

“Steve, I’m just an intern and you’re a former hero turned businessman. I’m not sure what you want from me.”

“Maybe I just want you.” Steve’s eyes darkened slightly.

“You don’t know anything about me.” She rolled her eyes as his presumption.

Steve bit his tongue. He couldn’t reprimand her attitude. At least not yet. “So let me get to know you.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you intrigue me.”

“Not sure why.” Isabella fidgeted slightly in his arms.

“Isabella, you are captivating, alluring, gorgeous and a mystery. One that I would like to solve.”

Belle swallowed. She knew she needed to get away from him. He was pulling her in, his scent, his voice, his eyes, were swallowing her whole. This wasn’t what she needed so close to the end. The song mercifully ended. “If you would excuse me, I just need to use the restroom.”

“Of course,” Steve let go and Belle made her way through the crowd. As soon as she hit the double doors she started to run to the exit. Hitting the final doors, she ran into a solid body. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t look at who she hit, she just kept going to her car. The driver, Tim, saw her approached and open the door. “Tim, can you take me home?”

“Course, miss.” He got in and took off into the night.

Steve gave it five minutes and when Belle didn’t return, he headed to the exit. He saw Bucky outside. “Did you see a young woman come out here? Dark hair, blush colored dress?”

“Yeah, she bumped into me and barely said sorry before she climbed into a car. Why?”

“Bucky, I need you to do a background check on a Miss Isabella Davis. “

“Sure punk. Of course. Can I ask why?”

“I’m intrigued. And I see potential.”

A/N: I'm not sure what is going on with the tallest but hopefully how I have done it today fixes the problem

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@jennmurawski13-writes

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@amiquette

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #yours submissively #chris evans fanfiction #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #Steve Rogers x OFC #Bucky barnes #chris evans #mcu fanfiction #Steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #chris evans au #avengers au

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k-evans-reads · 1 year

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On Deck

Chapter 22 - The Final Chapter

Summary: Although they grew up in the same small town, Chris and Sam had both gone their separate ways a long time ago. Chris moved up to become a MLB star, one of the best in the business, while Sam stayed stuck in the same small town. But when multiple injuries ended the Red Sox prodigy’s career, he winds up back in the same small town he swore he’d never be back to. The past may not stay in the past any longer, as old wounds begin to creep back up.

Pairing: MLB!Chris Evans X OFC Samantha “Sam” Merrick

Word Count: 2,459

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Previous | Main Masterlist | On Deck Masterlist

As Sam stood in the hotel room buzzing with excitement, she couldn’t help but sneak a glance over in the mirror as she stood still while Lisa tied the back of her dress. It still felt so surreal to her, seeing her own reflection in the white satin dress. Sam felt as if she was living a dream, unable to believe that this was actually her. That over twenty years after meeting Chris when they were children, she was now standing in a wedding dress in Mexico getting ready to marry him. Part of her brain just couldn’t seem to accept that fact, but in her heart she knew that nothing could have been more right.

“Alright, you’re all ready, honey,” Lisa murmured with a pat to Sam’s back once she’d secured the tie back of her dress. “What do you think?”

Sam stared at her reflection in shock, unable to comprehend just how this was happening… finally. It’d been a long day already, between the breakfast in her suite with Lisa, Shanna, Carly, and a brief appearance by Riley, to the getting ready process with the hair and makeup that’d culminated in this here. Any other time she’d relish in the pampering and happy mood, but she’d been in a state unlike herself all day that morning, unable to focus on much besides the time as it ticked closer and closer to the magic hour… the one where she and Chris would finally be together in more than just name and theory. “I…I don’t know what to say,” she finally replied, eyes moving over the simple make-up and red lipstick to the low bun her hair was pulled into. “I just can’t believe I’m here doing this.”

Her eyes found Shanna’s in the mirror as the woman – the one she could finally say, after over twenty years, was her sister – scoffed, “Don’t tell me you’ve come to your senses now and decided not to marry my brother.”

Sam’s genuine smile quelled any chance of that being true, and she knew Lisa knew as well when she shook her head, her fingers tapping Sam’s wrist as she stepped to the side. “Well I always knew you two would end up together. Ever since you were kids,” she shared, and while Sam might’ve been inclined to believe her, that thread of doubt and insecurity still remained. She still felt as though she didn’t deserve half of what she’d been given in the last year and she found it hard to believe that now, nine months after reconnecting with Chris, she was here, in a beautiful suite in Mexico, preparing to marry the man she loved more than she ever thought was even possible.

Sam shifted nervously, fidgeting with the delicate bracelet wrapped around her wrist. “I certainly didn’t… I never thought I’d ever get married.”

“I didn’t think Chris would either there for a while, but I knew if he did, it’d be to you,” Shanna confided, a kind, emotional smile on her face. Sam was grateful for everything this year had brought, even if she didn’t deserve some, but the one thing she was the most grateful for was reconnecting with the extended Evans family. Shanna was her best friend as a child, and to have her back in her life meant the world and more to Sam, and even more now that she was standing in a white satin dress, a bouquet of roses on the table, ready to go. “He’s always been crazy about you.”

Not one to easily believe what others said, even today, Sam shook her head, fighting back tears. She didn’t want to waste the beautiful makeup that was just applied, but she knew that likely was a lost cause. “I just… really can’t believe this,” she murmured.

Lisa’s face was nothing if not thrilled when Sam turned to finally look her and Shanna in the eyes. “Are you happy, honey?” She asked quietly, reaching to push a bobby pin further into Sam’s hair.

Feeling the last bit of tension leave her body at Lisa’s simple reminder about today – that it was a celebration of her and Chris’ happiness – she affirmed, “...You have no idea.”

Shanna smiled at her words, swiping one last pass of lip gloss across her lips, just as her phone chimed with a text from Carly. “Do you want Riley to come see you now?” She asked Sam, glancing up at her as she typed out a reply to her sister.

Sam’s breath caught and excitement flooded her system. Riley had been in and out of what he’d deemed the ‘Estrogen Suite’ all morning, full of grins and energy while he bounced between Chris and Sam’s spaces. Sam couldn’t even remember much of what Riley had done already that day, besides a workout with Chris before breakfast. But he’d been with Chris, Scott, and the rest of the Evanses for a while now, and had yet to see Sam all ready to marry Chris. “Yeah, would you go get him?” She asked Shanna.

With a simple nod, Shanna exited the room while Lisa helped adjust the satin dress, making sure everything was laying right. Sam was so preoccupied with watching Lisa fuss with the dress that she hadn’t even noticed the teenager standing behind her until she caught a glimpse of him in the mirror. She found herself staring in the mirror for a moment, always feeling as if she didn’t recognize him because the once helpless little boy left with an absentee mother was now becoming a man and Sam felt like for the first time, she was fully seeing it.

Riley was her brother, but over the years, she had become a mother to him, filling in the many gaps that their life circumstances had left. She remembered being the same age he was and throwing every college advertisement she received straight in the garbage, instead going to the diner each and every day to work herself sore to provide for her and Riley. And here he was, an eighteen year old who had become hard working, kind hearted, and loyal to everyone in his life and for the first time, she realized that for all her shortcomings, she did do something right on her own, and it was Riley.

Tears were stinging in her eyes, blurring her vision and making her unable to see the tears that were in Riley’s own eyes. Feelings had never been the Merrick siblings strong points, especially for Sam with having to stuff so many of her own feelings just to get through daily life, but things were so different now. So beautifully different. She couldn’t seem to get any words out and just walked over to wrap her arms around the boy who now was a good chunk taller than her, instantly feeling his arms come around her just as tightly.

Her hands moved over his perfectly ironed white dress shirt to wrap around him, still in disbelief at how suddenly he’d seemed to grow up. “You look really pretty Sam,” his low voice whispered.

She smirked, unable to stop herself from laughing at his words. Once she’d stepped back carefully, so as to not trip over the short train, she joked, “I better for what this dress cost.”

“I still can’t believe you’re getting married,” Riley admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “But I’m glad you are.”

“Are you really?”

He nodded, a sideways grin sliding onto his face. “Yeah… I like seeing you happy, Sam,” he replied. And while Sam knew how she felt, how she’d felt so determined for the last eighteen years of that boy’s life to do right by him and push aside every ounce of selfishness for his sake, she couldn’t imagine how Riley felt, seeing her growth over the past year.

“Chris does make me happy,” she confessed, pausing as she reached to pick a piece of lint off of Riley’s tie. “But so do you, Riley.”

“I know,” he smirked, shrugging his shoulders again cheekily. “I love you Sam.”

Her lips turned into an emotional frown, a knot in her throat as she, meaning every single ounce of the word and not struggling with them like she normally did, told the boy, “I love you too.”

And Sam knew that those words were the most true ones she’d ever spoken. She loved Riley with her whole heart and when she thought about all they’d gone through together, it made even more tears well up in her eyes. But with all the shitty places they’d lived, the nights she’d cried while watching him sleep on the couch, wondering how she’d possibly pay for rent or new clothes for Riley, she couldn’t believe that they’d gotten here. That he was going to be going to college, that they didn’t have to worry where their next meal was coming from, and that they not only loved one another, but now had Chris who loved them both so wholeheartedly.

They’d come a long way together, but Sam also knew that a lot of their recent growth was thanks to Chris. He pushed them both in so many ways, showing them that there was so much more to life than what was just in front of them and making them both believe they could achieve it. Chris had brought out the best in them and she liked to believe that they helped bring out the best in him as well.

It wasn’t long before Lisa knocked on the door and slipped inside the room. The small smile on her face told Sam everything she needed to know, that it was time to begin heading downstairs and towards the beach. With the all-clear that Chris was already down there with Scott, his father, and his brother-in-laws, Lisa and Shanna escorted Riley and Sam through the hotel and out to the beach.

The occasional comments from passers-by of nothing but congratulations and well wishes filled Sam with those butterflies again as she walked side-by-side with Riley, the small bouquet of flowers in her hand while Shanna helped with her train. She almost felt as if it was silly to feel so nervous. She’d known for a long time Chris was it for her, there was nobody but him that she even felt an ounce of what she felt for him, but it was just how surreal this whole moment was that brought tears to her eyes.

As Sam walked up to where the rest of the family was waiting with the officiant, her eyes went right to Chris as he patiently stood there looking handsome as ever in his suit. But what got to her is that he was there waiting for her. She was actually here, walking down the aisle toward a man who had loved her his entire life and as undeserving as she felt of it, she couldn’t be any happier.

She felt as if she blinked and here she was, standing across from Chris as their immediate family members surrounded them. She couldn’t help but sneak a glance to Riley, smiling at the boy as he sat next to Chris’ parents. But before long, Chris took her hands gently, squeezing them as he gave her an excited grin and listened to the officiant.

Once the officiant prompted him to begin his vows, Chris took a long, deep breath and spoke, “Sammy, I can’t remember a day in my life that I didn’t love you. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been in deep for you and the fact that I’m standing here with you now is the most surreal experience but it also just feels so right. There’s nobody for me in this world but you.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile when Chris had to let go of one of her hands, moving it up to wipe at a few of his tears that had spilled out of his eyes before looking deeply at her and continuing, “I love your smile, and how it can light up a room. I love your sass and how you can always bust my chops. I love how much you give without end to everyone around you. I love how through everything you’ve been through in life, you’ve kept that compassion and deep love for the people around you and honestly? I just don’t think I could love you more. There’s nothing in life I want more than you and being your husband is the greatest gift and honor I know I’ll ever get in life. It was and will always be you.”

At this point, Sam knew her makeup was a lost cause, tears spilling down her cheeks from his heartfelt words that she knew were true. But she didn’t know it just because he’d told her, Chris had shown it in so many ways over their relationship, having supported her, encouraged her, and loved her at every turn in the road.

It took her a minute to even be able to compose herself enough to finally squeeze his hands and start her own vows, telling Chris, “Ever since you came back into my life, everything has changed. At first, I didn’t want it to because I was convinced you still were a stuck up asshole-”

“Bummer for you that you found out it was true,” he interjected with a smirk on his face, and Sam couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she felt her heart skip.

“That’s for damn sure,” she agreed, before she gathered herself again. “But when I started spending time with you, I found out that same sweet sensitive kid was still there. You showed me what it’s like to love people so openly and I still just feel really thankful that you chose to love me that way. You know I’m not really the best with words or sharing how I feel but I think you know I love you more than anything, Chris. You’ve turned my entire life around and I just want to be with you forever and for the first time in my life, I’m having a dream come true.”

And that’s what it was. A dream come true when they finally slipped those rings on one another’s fingers and pledged themselves to each other, vowing to continue to be the family they’d already become together.

And as they turned, with matching mile-wide smiles, to look at their excited guests, Sam’s heart felt whole for the first time in her entire life. Here she was, with rings on her finger and a man on her arm, both of which she never expected to have, looking at – for the first time ever – multiple members of her loving family.

A/N: Thank you all so much for your love and support on this story. We became so attached to Sam and Chris nad because of that, we’re going to be continuing their story through one shots so they’re not over yet!

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roxineedstosleep · 2 years

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just found ur blog and i love the battinson posts being protected by his kids do you think i could get a one shot with the batfam in quarantine and jason pretending to hate it but he actually loves being around bruce so often? maybe jealous batkids who really don't like when bruce isn't paying attention to them bc he's on a work meeting or talking with clark and want his attention on them (maybe damian and jason and tim with dick and cass saying they're stupid but going along with it) thanks and sorry if this is too long

First: Sorry for be too late about this.

Usally One Shots takes a bit extra of time, since a need to put a structure, and to not mention the translation process. Since English is not my native lenguage.

Sooo, lets start.

(best description os Bruce and all his children during the pandemic lockdown)

____________________________________

Quarantine was soooooo complicated.

People getting sick, companies going down or going up, doctors and nurses isolating themselves from their families, parents losing children and children losing parents, families coming together and families splitting up, couples finding each other.....

You know what I mean, don't you?

____________________________________

So, Bruce even though he has the benefit of having a mega mansion for him and his family and a few other properties around the city, the country and the rest of the world... let's just say he didn't have as much privacy as others would have thought.

First: Knowing that many shelters would go bankrupt or lack the capacity to house the many people who needed them, Bruce decided to temporarily lend out some of the smaller properties (his own and not the Wayne family's) so that the rent money would not be a burden to those groups in need.

Second: Happily for him, and the workers of his company, it was not a few months before the lock-in that Wayne Co. had invested in various actions in different medical fields. So they did not have big losses or at least almost all of their workers were able to keep their jobs. Those who had not been so lucky had either been sent as support to the areas that needed them most or had their pay docked for another 9 months while they looked for another job (their decision, not Bruce's).

Third: All their children decided to get together so they could get through the pandemic together... and apparently they had developed a dual personality as puppies.

-----------

Bruce loves his kids, and now that he can spend more time with them and actually interact with them as a real family, he wants to make the most of the situation. He doesn't have to patrol much anymore, since even the villains are locked up in their respective hideouts, and he thought at first that this would allow him to spend more time relaxing.

...

So idiotic of him.

Even though the mansion was terribly huge, there always seemed to be someone in every place.

Dick had moved in at the beginning, as he was sharing a case with Tim and was in the mansion when everyone was put under mandatory lockdown. Tim was still living with him, though he was leaving with the Titans seasonally so he could work better with his team; as the case had been in Gotham he had no problem with the lockdown. Damian .... Well, Damian was still a kid, so he was with him all the time.

But Jason had been a pleasant surprise.

The day after all the newscasts said about the lockdown, Bruce was surprised by Jason at the entrance of the mansion.

His son was carrying several suitcases, a couple of planters and various other things in boxes behind him. He looked exhausted, and thoroughly disgusted by the stain the pot had left on his shirt, but not by being there.

Before he could say anything or get up to help him with his things he blurted out

"Look old man, one of the Crime Valley prostitutes has been kicked out for not paying her share, she's got 1 kid and another friend who's in the same boat.... I rented my flat to them until they could get something better. So I'd appreciate it if you'd move out of the door and let me in. I don't want Alfie nagging me about mud stains."

Bruce knows it's a lie, he knows Jason gave them his flat for free until they could get a job, which he plans to offer, and he doesn't tell him any more.

He is happy to see all his children in the same place and that his prodigal son was now there was the best thing that could have happened to him.

Well... until the attachment issues started to pass.

Of course they did.

Don't misunderstand him.

He loves his offspring. He loves them with all his being, every fibre and cell in his body is basically dedicated to loving and caring for his children and Alfred... as well as the city, of course.

But, because of the lifestyle before, Bruce never realised how little he physically interacted with them outside of training. And it pains him to realise it at this point in his life.

So he decides to make up for it a little bit, you know?

He's getting closer with Dick every month, he pats Tim on the back a few times when he sees him sad, he gives Damian kisses on the head when he's having his... annoying moments. And he even gives Jason hugs when he notices he's not going to jump on him like an angry cat.

And while the boys were initially uncomfortable with his presence, they got used to it, and with a little more time (dangerously fast, as Alfred jokes) they themselves became more enthusiastic about his displays of affection.

And even they themselves became more and more enthusiastic about his displays of affection.

That was a good sign of reliability.

Wasn't it?

So, now, whenever one of her children could, he would give him hugs, kisses on his face, or cling as close to his side as he could. His heart was pounding so hard and so happily that he never noticed the almost obsessive way in which his children were becoming attached to him.

Not that he saw anything wrong with it either... but Alfred did, and he was always telling him that he should tell his children that they should learn to be moderate in their displays of affection.

Not that it bothered him so much.

He doesn't mind Damian sneaking into his bed in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.... accompanied by all his siblings, and almost crushing him because all his children are bigger than him (except Damian and Tim, who haven't finished growing up yet).

He doesn't mind Dick using him as a barbell, almost everyone in the mansion has started training inside the Batcave gym (to keep in shape)... even though he refuses to let go of him no matter how much he reminds him to do Wayne Co.'s work.

It doesn't bother him that Tim always asks him to share his desk, as it's a good way for them to get the office work done quickly... even if Damian joins them for their virtual classes and always wants to give his opinion, hanging on his back like a Titi monkey.

And, also, he doesn't mind that Jason is always looking at him and carrying him around to hug him when they're watching movies or series in a familiar way. Jason wouldn't hesitate to hold him in his lap and cuddle him like a cuddly toy... He kind of missed the way he and Jason used to do that when Jason was a kid. Although now his son is a giant.

The point is that it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother him at all...

But it can be a tiny, petty bit too much at times.

Like the time he had to lock the bathroom door... because Damian (using Titus as an excuse) would come in without permission, just because he was sitting alone.

Or the time Dick refused to let him go all day and everyone in the League saw how Nightwing was stuck on his hip with Batman.

Or the time Tim refused to work one day, just because Bruce wouldn't join him at the desk.

Or the time Jason walked into the middle of a Wayne Co. meeting. Looking completely terrified (since he'd been in there with Damian and Tim at the same time), demanding that he put Band-Aids on him because his brothers had used Alfred (the cat) during their feud... and he refused to leave until he put some Wonder Woman themed Band-Aids on him.

And let's just say that Alfred had also tried to do everything he could to control the level of attachment his children were generating.

Don't get it wrong, he and Alfred love their kids... but like any human being Bruce needed time to himself to catch up on some company and League stuff.

And that brings him to where he is now.

You'll see.

While the board of directors had no objection to their children's interruptions at regular meetings, there were some that did or did need to be discussed without the need to stop the conversation over Mr. Tuxedo's missing around (baby squirrel Damian had found abandoned in the garden) or Jason's sobbing attachment (after Dicks put on a purple t-shirt by mistake).

So, he and Alfred had to find a way to keep the kids distracted (because even they would come into the shower to ask him questions) and have at least 40 minutes of uninterrupted table meeting.

So, for the sake of the meeting, Alfred sent all the kids out to get the groceries for the house. Not that they were short of food... or even their own vegetable garden, but they couldn't find another way to distract them without them not being there.

It was silly, unreliable that they didn't think so, but ironically it worked.

Dick grabbed Damian to go to the harbour to get fresh fish... Lots of fresh fish. And Tim pulled Jason to get various cleaning supplies that Alfred had specified in a detailed list.

As soon as the boys set foot outside the mansion, Bruce took refuge in one of the hidden storage rooms in the mansion's attic, and locked it and locked it from the inside.

The talk, to his success and rare satisfaction, went quite well on the whole... or so he thought.

It was only five minutes before it was all over, when he heard several feet running and moving things down the corridor.

"Baba! Look what I found! Her name is Dory and she's our new Starfish Mascot!"

"B! Can you tell Damian that we don't have a proper aquarium for Dory yet? B?! Where are you?"

" Old man !!!! Tell the Replacement that I'm not giving him any of my yogurt!... Oldman?"

"You don't even like yoghurt! You only bought it because it has Wonder Woman's face on the cover - at least give me a taste!"

"Baba! Dory want to meet you!"

"B, where are you?"

" Old man! Tim eats my yogurth"

Bruce couldn't even close the Zoom meeting before Jason, because clearly no one but Jason has the savage strength to break an iron cantol, broke into the deposit.

"Oldman, tell Tim he owes me a Wonder Woman yogurt and- Oh, you were just having a Zoom?" He said "Never mind, what matters is that you should tell Tim he owes me a yogurt."

He couldn't do much after that. His laptop was disconnected, ending the meeting, and he was charged back to where the rest of his children were demanding his attention.

Well... Not that the Chat was all that interesting anyway.

What was interesting was having to explain to Damian that Dory would have to go back to an aquarium because they couldn't take care of a starfish... and giving Jason a subscription to Wonder Woman Merch.

(The Batboys searching for Bruce)

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clanoffelidae · 3 months

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I’m always scared of jinxing myself by opening my mouth and saying I’m ‘not physically disabled anymore’ or that ‘my cyclic vomiting is gone’; because there’s no cure and we don’t know why it sometimes just… stops. There’s not even really any medication to manage it you just kind of… try to work through it and manage symptoms and side effects as best you can. Namely, the dehydration due to excessive vomiting being the main concern. (Have had abdominal spasms due to becoming dehydrated from it before. Took me 5-6 minutes to army crawl six feet to the shower, wiggle out of my clothes, and stretch up to turn on the hot water to try and soothe the muscles I was in so much pain. It was also like 4am and I was at a homestay in another country so fuck me I guess lol. Fortunately my homestay actually spoke English; which worked out because I speak Spanish decently well so I was making an active effort to converse with her and practice before I got sick, she was extremely helpful because I mainly needed help with specific vocabulary/phrases and she could help me translate them, and then when I got sick and was so exhausted I could barely communicate in English anymore I was able to drop the Spanish and still be understood and given help. That’s a tangent tho lol sorry)

And that’s true of a lot of physical disabilities, sadly, so I’m sure many of you can understand why I’m scared of it. Because I’m one of the lucky ones, even when my condition was at it’s worst I had more good days than bad. One of the defining characteristics of CVS is that in between episodes you would never know something is wrong with us.

And sometimes people just… ‘grow out of it’, so to speak. It most commonly affects children, even being thought of as a pediatric disease, and then just goes away when they get older. I was a weird case, I had two sporadic episodes in high school and then it hit me hard basically as soon as I got to college; it only ever happened when I was an adolescent/adult.

During the worst of it I would have episodes as little as 3 weeks apart; I’d be in severe agony and vomiting profusely for around 24 hours, take several days for the pain to go away (the episode was over but I was sore after the vomiting), and about a week for the brain fog and lethargy to clear up. I knew my stomach was empty, I knew I had nothing in it, but it felt so swollen and I was convinced it was about to tear open like an overfilled balloon. The condition is believed to be related to migraine headaches and I believe it - my severe migraines are the throbbing kind where it feels like my head is about to explode, and that is the exact same kind of pain I was feeling in my stomach. Those same, unique qualities that differentiate the pain of a migraine from another headache were exactly what I felt in my abdomen. I was also light and sound sensitive, seeking darkness and solitude; although it didn’t cause literal pain to be exposed to light and sound like with a migraine headache, it stressed me out for ‘seemingly no reason’, overwhelming me and increasing my pain as a result of the stress and desire for the stimulus to go away.

My last episode was in 2019. I only even had frequent episodes for a little over 2 years.

And I’m still deathly afraid of every new medication I try because I don’t know why it stopped. Nothing about my lifestyle changed, nothing about my habits. I was never able to identify any triggers like with my headaches, it just sort of ‘happened’ as far as I could tell.

I have no idea why it started and no idea why it stopped.

And I’m constantly fucking terrified that I’ll fuck something up and it’ll come back, that this time of peace and ‘health’ is temporary. I’m so fucking scared because it hurts so fucking much and I don’t want to be in pain again.

I don’t want to be in pain again.

And I don’t know why I’m bringing this up or what I’m trying to say really. I guess I just want to get my fears written down because they’re circling in my head again.

And I guess I also want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry to everyone who suffers with a ‘hidden’ condition that no one believes you about, I’m sorry for everyone who is barely dragging themselves through it day by day; in pain, exhausted, and with the people around them burnt out on offering help because ‘why can’t you just get better already’.

I’m lucky, I’m so very, very lucky that for whatever reason my episodes just… stopped. They just stopped. And even still I live aware of the sword dangling over my head, never believing that the dragon is actually dead and is only just sleeping, still there to be reawakened if I mess up (when I don’t have the slightest idea what or where that invisible line I must never cross is), and I never dare to say that I’m ‘cured’ because I don’t believe in miracles like that. It’s a miracle that they stopped, and I’m grateful for it, but I will never dare to believe that they couldn’t come roaring right back any day.

Disability can happen to anyone, and I’m vividly aware that my old pain could be stumbled into at any minute, along with any number of other things, and I’m so sorry to everyone who still lives with their pain that is a constant companion. Mine is sleeping, but I remember it well for how it burned like the sun, to the point that I was able to identify sporadic episodes years after the fact that I had thought only stomach bugs because they were so horrible.

Pain is good, but not like this.

Pain is meant to be a teacher, a protector. A warning system of ‘hey! Don’t do that! We could get hurt!’ Your body’s way of keeping you safe and alive; don’t touch the fire because it hurts, don’t touch the fire because it could kill you. Pain is life’s way of steering you away from death, of keeping you safe and alive; letting you know there’s damage so you know to keep that part safe while it heals and use it less. Because when you’re about to walk into the flames your body doesn’t have the time to sit down and explain it to you gently, it has to alert you ‘NOW. PULL BACK NOW!’

Pain is meant to be a good thing; it’s meant to keep you alive and to protect you, to teach you about danger so you know how to be safe, and go let you know when you’ve been damaged so that you can make sure to give the damage time to heal.

But it’s not meant to be there all the time; it’s not meant to be constantly flashing the alarms when there’s nothing to be done, your body trying to help and let you know that something’s wrong when there’s nothing you can do. It’s not meant to linger until it breaks you, to weigh on your shoulders until you struggle to see the good past it. But just like with any good thing, so often does it become ill.

Pain is a constant companion for too many of us, and I’m so, so sorry for that.

You shouldn’t have to be strong.

I’m sorry.

I just wanted to let you all know that.

#vomiting #cyclic vomiting syndrome #actually disabled #disability #chronic pain #recurrent pain #i hate how pain is such a beautiful thing #your body’s alert system and life’s way of making sure you stay alive #protecting you - teaching you - keeping you safe and helping you to heal #letting you know what you need to #and it just gets twisted into something horrible #becoming chronic and never leaving and breaking you down #being used intentionally by others for cruel devices #and i just. i don’t know.#it upsets me is all #i’m sorry to everyone who has to be strong #you shouldn’t have to be #i’m sorry #life’s hard and survival’s not easy #that’s not the way the world works #i get that and i accept that #but this is more than that #and it’s not fair #and i’m sorry for that #i get that life is a constant battle for survival #but you shouldn’t be having to fight with yourself

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