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caroline-writes · 1 month ago

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Chapter 6: Shadows in the night

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64066468/chapters/166556812

A hand wraps around Violet’s ankle and her stomach bottoms out at the realisation that she is about to be forcibly removed from the tree. She allows her hazel eyes to glance downwards and immediately sees the rage on her mother’s face as the hand she has wrapped around Violet’s ankle gives a none too gentle tug, Violet’s grip falters and she is tumbling towards the ground. In the seconds between the impact with the dirt she doesn’t even bother wondering if her mother will try to catch her or slow her fall. Violet lands with a sickening thud and stares up at the thunderous face of her mother.

Chapter 6: Shadows in the night

A week later and Violet is rethinking her poisoning plan. Sometimes it works and sometimes she gets the measurements all wrong. This time she had almost certainly overestimated the weight of her opponent. That had meant that the girl she had been about to face had been rushed very quickly off to the infirmary before Violet could even step up to the mat. Which unfortunately meant that she was now standing opposite Xaden Riorson who had volunteered to take her on instead.

“This doesn’t seem fair.” Rhiannon commented as she comes closer to Violet.

Xaden’s gold flecked eyes flicked over to her full of amusement, “Don’t worry Matthias, I’m not going to kill her. Consider this a training exercise.” the amusement in his eyes doesn’t die as his gaze meets hers. “I want to see what the youngest Sorrengail has got.”

Violet, not for the first time felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room. There was something in his gaze that felt more than predatory. His eyes flicked down her body and Violet suddenly feels like she has been stripped of her clothes and her armour. His gaze is lethal but also heated as it slips down her body.

“It’s fine with me.” Professor Emetterio shrugs, “You’re all in for a treat, Xaden is one of the best fighters we have.” Violet wonders if she is in for a treat or if she’ll just be used as a training dummy.

Garrick walks over to Xaden’s shoulder, he makes sure that he is facing away from the group as he speaks, “You have to make it look real Xaden.”

Xaden’s eyes narrow, “I will.”

“I mean it.” he pauses, his expression is hard, “Look who just walked in.” Xaden’s eyes drift to the door before snapping back towards Violet. General Sorrengail is standing in the doorway with her hands clasped behind her back. She isn’t announcing her presence, but Garrick is right, Xaden has to make this look real. He’s going to have to hurt her. That realisation pulls at something in his chest that he doesn’t want to name. There is no real time for a plan, Xaden knows he can easily knock this girl on her ass, but he had been planning on showing her how to use her body to her advantage, he had hoped he could do that without hurting her.

“Well, shit.” is all he says as he steps forward.

Violet meets his gaze as she takes three steps up and onto the mat facing him. She moves first and Xaden knows that it is because she knows she’s smaller and potentially faster than him, she needs to move on him quick or she won’t stand a chance.

She unsheathes a dagger and throws it at him with practiced efficiency, Xaden doesn’t need to read her intentions to see the throw coming and easily catches the dagger, he moves closer so that only she can hear him say, “You forget I’ve already seen that one. You’ll have to try something new.” he tosses the dagger to one side and ducks towards her.

Violet can’t let his move knock her off balance, she slides a second dagger from a sheathe at her thigh and aims for his thigh. He is equal to it and blocks the move with an infuriating smirk on his face as he bites out, “Going for blood today, Violence?” something in Violet’s chest tightens and she narrows her gaze.

“My name,” she forces the words out, “is Violet.”

His grin is feral as he replies, “I like my version better.” As he says it his shoulder slams into her. Violet feels the air leave her lungs and knows that hitting the mat is going to fucking hurt. She feels her ribs crunch as she lands and then is struggling to pull air into her lungs.

Fear flashes in her eyes as Xaden’s body immediately covers hers, “Slow your breathing Violence.” he tells her and Violet has to pause as she does as he instructs. She’s sure one or two of her ribs are cracked from impacting the mat. He leans in close and Violet doesn’t like the way that her entire body responds to him instantly, “Slowly in through your nose. Your mother is in the doorway.” she goes to snap her gaze over to look at her mother but Xaden anticipates it and stops her, “Look at me. You want to go for where I’m exposed Violence.”

She huffs out a breath before hissing in pain as her ribs protest, “Why are you helping me?” she asks.

Xaden flashes her a grin for half a second as he makes sure to guide the hand that Lilith cannot see, “Here or here.” he uses her own hand to poke where his kidney and liver would be. She doesn’t need to be told twice and with her free hand she unsheathes a dagger and moves as fast as she can to stab him exactly where he suggests. He shifts and in the next second her dagger is in his hand and being tossed out of her reach and onto the floor beyond the mat. Violet makes a sound of disgruntled distress before glaring up into his face. Xaden cannot resist the urge to smirk as he looks down at her and he desperately tries to ignore the tiny voice is the back of his head that wonders what her mouth would taste like if he pressed his to it.

He clears his throat in an attempt to clear his mind just as her elbow digs viciously into his neck. She isn’t really strong enough to shove him off but he rolls with it anyway and she ends up straddling him in a position which was definitely not one that her mother would want to see. Xaden’s eyes darken as he looks up at her, “You keep leaving yourself open.” he bites out as he bucks his hips and dislodges her, she yelps as he catches her arm and bends it behind her. He knows that Imogen broke this arm not long ago, he knows that it is tender from the way she hisses as he pulls it up. He chances a glance over to the doorway and finds that the General is no longer watching. Xaden jumps to his feet and releases her as if touching her skin has burnt him.

As he stands, he tosses aside another of her daggers leaving her finally completely unarmed, “You need training Violence.” he tells her.

“Is that your plan for handling me?” she mutters as she stands unsteadily her left arm moves to rub her right shoulder gingerly as she watches him.

“Get her to the infirmary, I think I may have broken her ribs.” he directs the instruction to Rhiannon who moves into action quickly. The blue in Violet’s eyes flashes as she watches him up until the moment Rhiannon pulls her from the gym. Garrick arrives at Xaden’s elbow and he looks over at his friend, “How long did she stay?”

Garrick’s smirk is infuriating, “She was gone by the time you had her in the cowgirl position.”

“For fuck’s sake Garrick.” Xaden can feel his cheeks heat under the scrutiny of his friend’s gaze.

“She saw you smack her into the mat nodded once and then left. It felt like her seeing you do that just confirmed everything she already thought about her daughter. I know that we knew she was a monster and of course she asked you to kill her own daughter but seeing the cold, detached way she watched her was sickening.” there is a pause before Garrick adds, “We have to get her out of here.” Xaden already knows this of course. Brennan would never forgive him if he allows his sister to die but keeping her alive was certainly going to be more difficult than he originally thought.

Violet looks up, and up and up at the wooden structure in front of her. There is fear and awe pounding adrenaline through her body all at once. The Gauntlet is definitely intimidating, to most people who see it. Aurelie Donans stands beside Violet and is practically bouncing from one foot to the other. She is positively vibrating with excitement.

“Just look at it.” she says her voice filled with wonder as she looks up.

Violet glances at Aurelie before casting her gaze back up at the Gauntlet, “Yeah, I have been.” her tone is flat and devoid of excitement, “Why are you so happy?” she asks as she looks over at the rest of her squad who all seem to be the correct amount of nervous or uncertain as they look up at the intimidating structure before them.

“I’ve been looking forward to this day since conscription day. My brother told me that the Gauntlet is the best part of training. I’ve always loved climbing and challenging myself and what better way than tackling that.” she nods up with a wide grin.

“Has anyone ever told you, you’re fucking insane?” Aurelie laughs as Rhiannon’s words echo out amongst the group.

The blond marked one in their squad, Liam? Laughs in response as he begins to stretch his arms as he readies himself to take on the Gauntlet. From what Violet has already seen of his capabilities he’s sure to manage the Gauntlet with very little issue. As Violet looks up at it, she feels her hands begin to shake.

“Get down from there before you hurt yourself!” the voice is not unkind as it calls out to Violet but she feels a wave of embarrassment wash over her all the same. Her sister’s voice calls out to her from several feet below but Violet is determined to conquer this fear and she will not allow her sister or their mother to ruin this moment for her.

She steadies her breathing and looks for the next branch to grab hold of, “I’m fine.” she bites back, her small fingers gripping the trunk of the tree tightly. At 6 years old she is already fierce in so many ways and in many others, she is as fragile and breakable as bone china.

“Violet, please. Mom is coming and she won’t be so-” her voice cuts off as she is tugged away from the base of the tree.

“Up.” is all she says, Violet’s eyes drift for a moment to her 11-year-old sister who is standing to one side looking worried. Violet reaches a hand up to the back of her head and winces slightly as it comes away wet and sticky, the blinding pain she had felt when she landed had probably been her head hitting a rock. She is sure that Lilith won’t be wasting any more breath telling Violet what she expects from her.

Gingerly she rises, her vision spotty as she stands at her full height, her fierce nature has some limits, and self-preservation kicks in and tells her that meeting her mother’s eye at this moment will surely be a death sentence.

There is a long, drawn-out inhale from her mother and Violet can imagine the way her nostrils flair in disgust as she regards her youngest child, “How many times do I have to tell you, you are never to climb the trees. You are weak and you will break, and I will not have someone coming here to heal you all because of your stupidity.” Lilith’s hand shoots forward and grips her daughter’s chin, she forces her to look up, “You will look at me when I am talking to you. Stop embarrassing this family.” her teeth grind loudly in her jaw before she continues, “Or I will be forced to keep you inside.” tears prick painfully against her eyes but she refuses to let her mother see her cry, she learnt years ago that her tears have no impact on her mother and only serve to derive more scorn from her. Lilith shoves her daughter away and without another word marches back towards the barracks that are currently serving as their home.

“Vi!” Mira rushes towards her sister.

“Leave her. Come Mira.” Lilith’s voice is stern and leaves no room for argument. Mira is a few paces away from her sister as she freezes, “Now Mira.” there is an apology on her tongue, but she can’t get it out of her mouth as she turns and follows their mother inside.

Violet allows herself a moment before sinking to her knees and staring longingly back up at the tree. The feeling of something slowly trickling down her head and into the collar of her shirt reminds her that she is bleeding and that she should probably do something about it.

“I’ve never been all that fond of heights.” Violet says to the group who offer her either nods of agreement or looks of sympathy.

“That is definitely something you will need to get over fairly quickly.” Rhiannon’s tone is not unkind as she reaches out to Violet and pats her on the shoulder.

Aurelie is more than ready to get climbing, “Can we please get started?” she asks with big pleading eyes.

Rhiannon laughs before agreeing that they can do just that, she heads up first, follow by Ridoc and Sawyer. Violet decides to go forth and Aurelie is quickly on her tail. Violet wonders if she should have told the eager girl to go ahead suddenly concerned that her undoubtedly slow pace would frustrate the girl.

“Take your time Vi, I want to savour this.” almost as if she can read her thoughts Aurelie reassures her with a warm, kind smile that makes her heart stutter in her chest.

“Violet! Begin!” Emetterio’s voice cuts through the air and Violet knows there is no more time for thinking or worrying because she has to run and jump and climb and hope beyond hope that she doesn’t fall.

She runs without thinking, something that doesn’t come as second nature to Violet, she thinks first and acts second always. She dashes up towards the first ascent the log still spinning from Sawyer’s journey across it, she knows that speed is the key here and so she dashes across before hoping from one granite slab to the next. Each slab is taller than the last and Violet feels her knees protest as they are jarred by the leap required to reach the last one.

Before her spins a rotating wheel, there is only one entrance to the wheel and therefore there is also only one exit. She times her jump carefully before throwing herself through the gap, the wheel judders and shakes as she rolls inside it before standing once more and keeping her eyes open for when the escape is level with her. She leaps again banging her shin on the opening as she does so. Pain lances through her and she hisses knowing that she is probably bleeding and will definitely be bruised.

She doesn’t have time to worry about any injuries however as the next part of the course looms over her. She is sure she’s going to bounce right off the buoy balls if she doesn’t plan her approach right. Her heart rate begins to climb and her palms are starting to sweat, she needs to calm herself down or her anxiety is going to be the death of her, “Green dragons,” she goes back to the tried and tested strategy which helped her cross the parapet, “known for their keen, intellect, descend from the honourable Uaineloidsig line, and continue to be the most rational of dragonkind, making them the perfect siege weapons, especially in the case of clubtails.” Violet leaps and grabs and manages to hold on before swinging herself to the next ball and the next.

“Are you studying?!” The disbelief almost sounds like horror in Aurelie’s voice. Horror that Violet would spoil a moment like this by reciting facts rather than enjoying the adrenaline pumping through her as she tried desperately not to die.

Violet exhales shakily as she now stands on somewhat steady ground, “It calms me.” she replies, she is pleasantly surprised to realise that her hands are no longer as slick as they were before the words she had been reciting seemed to have helped calm her enough.

The clang of metal as her hand hits it startles Violet in a way that makes her hand slip slightly, she gasps and is sure that those above her gasp too. She swings with her other arm gritting her teeth to prevent a scream as she feels her muscles pulling in an excruciatingly painful way but she manages to regain her grip.

“Next to you! The rope is next to you!” Aurelie’s voice from below is strong and Violet’s vision, which is dimming at the edges due to pain, zeros in on the rope. She makes a desperate grab for it before swinging herself to what could be considered relative safety.

What feels like a second later Aurelie lands beside her grinning from ear to ear, “This is the best. Just as good as my brother said it would be.”

Violet cannot help but smile back the grin is infectious, “I think you need to get checked out, did you hit your head or something?” her voice is soft with a touch of humour as she teases her squad mate, her teasing does nothing to diminish Aurelie’s smile.

Stretching her arms and feeling the painful way her shoulders pull she knows that if she takes one more hit, she’s going to dislocate them, Violet grits her teeth as she looks up at the next ascent. Aurelie’s voice makes her pause, “Don’t think about this one Vi. You need to just run across it, you pause, you die.”

Violet examines the logs before her and sees the way they shift and roll, if she loses her balance here, she’s going to find herself splattered down the side of the mountain, “Okay, no thinking. Just run.” Violet repeats to herself. She takes in a breath and exhales slowly testing the pull of her arm once more before pushing off against the gravel path and sprinting, the world shifts and rolls under her feet and despite her lack of any real practice climbing something like this she makes it across in one quick motion. As her feet meet the gravel safely on the other side, she sighs desperate to sink to her knees as her legs feel like jelly.

She pushes that thought aside as she looks up at the next ascent mindful that she needs to get out of Aurelie’s way. Violet is about to take a step when above her a roar from the skies seems to shake the entire mountain as a Green Daggertail heads back towards the Vale. She stares up at it in awe for a moment before a cry from behind her draws her attention back to Aurelie. Her excited squad mate had been attempting the rolling logs as the dragon had flown overhead and she had apparently paused, her words echoed in Violet’s head for a second, ‘you pause, you die’.

Fear flashes in Aurelie’s eyes as they meet Violet for a second, the joy that had been in her eyes all day is gone, replaced by terror and resignation, she knows what is coming for her, “Aurelie!” Violet’s own voice calls out in desperation though there is nothing she can do as she watches her friend slip from the logs and fall.

Down, down, down.

The cold air rips through Xaden’s flight leathers but he wants to feel it, needs to feel something before he sees her tonight. It has been months of course but that doesn’t change the way that she looks at him whenever he is forced to meet her. It doesn’t change the way her eyes beg him to change his mind. It doesn’t change the way she tries to fuck with his head every single chance that she gets. His mood is stormy as they land and Garrick notices very quickly.

“Do you want me to take the lead on this?” he asks watches as the darkness around Xaden seemed to shift and grow like a living thing.

Xaden’s eyes, that had been scanning the horizon looking for any movement or signs that the flyers were heading their way, shift to regard his friend, “No. I’m fine.” he takes a moment and exhales, as he does so the shadows that had been roiling at his feet shrink away and seem to disappear.

Cuir’s green scales glint like the sea on a stormy night in the low light, Bodhi reaches up to pat the foreleg of his dragon who shifts slightly from foot to foot with his golden eyes on the sky. Bodhi’s gaze moves to the clouds above them and he speaks, “Incoming.” a single word as he falls into step beside his cousin as the drift of fliers lands a short distance away.

The four gryphons paw at the ground in uncertainty Catriona makes a beeline straight for him, there is a smirk on his face and it makes Xaden wince as she closes the distance between them, “Nice of you to join us.” Garrick’s tone is sarcastic but the haunted look in Syrena’s eyes makes him stop, “What is it?”

“They’re making gains, killing and draining wherever they go. We need more. More than this,” she points towards the sacks of alloy weapons with a bitterness in her voice, “and you greet me with jokes?”

“I’m sorry.” Garrick is quick to apologise guilt gnawing at him as he looks at the fliers who all look exhausted beyond measure.

Syrena’s expression is grim as she mutters, “Yeah, me too.” she nods to the fliers next to her and they move to pick up the bags and head back towards their gryphons.

“What more do you need?” Xaden’s voice is heavy with concern but also resignation, he knows that from their current position there isn’t much more that they can do.

Syrena shakes her head and pulls her sister’s arm to drag her away from Xaden, “If you did any more, you’d be found out and then we’d have nothing...I’m just...we’re just tired.” the exhaustion in her voice bleeds through and her shoulders sag. “Just keep coming any maybe we’ll survive this.” she tells him as she marches back towards her gryphon.

“If I could-” he starts and Syrena shoots him a glare which stops his words somewhere in his throat, she knows that he would do more if he could but his words mean less than nothing in this moment. Garrick’s hand is on his shoulder, and he pulls Xaden backwards towards their dragons, the exchange today didn’t leave them feeling heroic, it left the three riders feeling hollow. Their attempt and making a change a futile effort which was doing very little to actually level the playing field.

As they arrived back at Basgiath under the cover of darkness the trio walk in relative silence, it is Bodhi who breaks it, “There has to be something more we can do.” he directs this at Xaden who visibly winces in response.

He slows his pace slightly and Garrick answers with a frown, “You know we’re doing everything we can.”

Xaden has slowed to a stop, “What’s wrong?” Garrick’s voice asks as his eyebrow lifts in concern.

“Go on, I’ll meet you inside.” he waves them away; his shadows reach out in front of him tentatively as they delicately probe a shadowed alcove. Garrick and Bodhi glance at each other for a moment before walking away. There is a pause as Xaden approaches the darkened alcove.

A sigh before, “I know you know I’m here.” Violet’s voice is deadpan, she takes a step from the shadow and Xaden checks himself for a moment as his eyes meet hers. They are slightly red and her cheeks are puffy, he can tell that she has been crying.

Xaden remembered hearing that one of her squad had fallen from the Gauntlet in front of her, that was enough to shake even the most hardened of riders. He doesn’t ask her about it and is even more surprised when she doesn’t ask him why he’s out here so late.

Her eyes wander up his arms before meeting his gold flecked onyx eyes, “Are you planning on killing me?” the question knocks the wind out of him for a second, he wonders if she knows about her mother’s request.

He pauses for a beat and schools his features, “I haven’t decided yet.” his tone in playful but there is something painful clenching in his stomach threatening to revolt.

She huffs out a laugh and takes a step to try and walk away from him, “Please make up your mind sooner rather than later.” Xaden’s hand shoots out and grabs her wrist, she tries to pull it away but he is steadfast.

“Why?” he asks and Violet is sure that goosebumps have risen up her arm in response to his thumb brushing her pulse point.

She pulls again, “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Xaden’s expression is dark, his hold on her wrist tightens slightly. He could do it, he could follow through with Lilith’s request right here and now. The idea of hurting her makes his blood turn to ice in his veins, “Perhaps not, but indulge me.” his thumb moves again skimming her wrist.

Her eyes are fierce and full of challenge as they meet his, in this low light the brown is clearer than the blue, Xaden kicks himself for even noticing that, “I can’t do it.” her voice is small and Xaden has to take a half step towards her to make sure he heard her correctly.

“What can’t you do?” he asks his scarred brow shooting upwards.

She grits her teeth and glares up at him with a challenge in her eyes, “The Gauntlet. I’m too fucking small, I can’t span the distance on the chimney.”

He has the audacity to smirk and Violet has the sudden urge to stab him in that moment, his thumb moves against her wrist one more time before he lets her go, she pulls her arm into her side and starts to walk away before he says another word, he calls out after her his voice echoing in the courtyard, “The right way isn’t the only way. Figure it out.”

For the second time in 30 seconds Violet wants to stab that stupidly attractive face of his.

#fanfiction #fourth wing fanfic #the empyrean fanfic #fourth wing #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #forged steel

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ifacotarwasgood · 2 years ago

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CHAPTER 1 - page 4/?

original word count: 2452

revised word count: 1529

click for ch 1's full comparison document.

original:

brown and gray of the world. And despite myself, despite my numb limbs, I quieted that relentless, vicious part of my mind to take in the snow-veiled woods. Once it had been second nature to savor the contrast of new grass against dark, tilled soil, or an amethyst brooch nestled in folds of emerald silk; once I’d dreamed and breathed and thought in color and light and shape. Sometimes I would even indulge in envisioning a day when my sisters were married and it was only me and Father, with enough food to go around, enough money to buy some paint, and enough time to put those colors and shapes down on paper or canvas or the cottage walls. Not likely to happen anytime soon—perhaps ever. So I was left with moments like this, admiring the glint of pale winter light on snow. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done it—bothered to notice anything lovely or interesting. Stolen hours in a decrepit barn with Isaac Hale didn’t count; those times were hungry and empty and sometimes cruel, but never lovely. The howling wind calmed into a soft sighing. The snow fell lazily now, in big, fat clumps that gathered along every nook and bump of the trees. Mesmerizing—the lethal, gentle beauty of the snow. I’d soon have to return to the muddy, frozen roads of the village, to the cramped

revised:

clean white. Despite myself and the discomfort of my freezing hands, I quieted that relentless part of my mind and tried to take it in. Once it’d would’ve been second nature for me to admire the glint of pale winter light on snow. Once I’d lived and breathed in color and light and shape. Once, when it was easy to believe there was enough food to go around, I’d imagined buying paint and putting those colors and shapes down on canvas. But now it was hard to notice anything lovely anymore. Stolen hours in a barn with Isaac Hale didn’t count. Those times were hungry and sometimes left me half-warm, but they were never lovely. Across the clearing, bushes rustled. I drew my bow on instinct and peered through the thorns. My breath caught. Less than thirty paces away stood a small doe, chewing bark from a tree. Quiet as wind hissing through dead leaves, I took aim, my mouth watering. I could dry half the meat and turn the rest into stews and pies. Her skin could be sold, or perhaps sewn into clothing for one of us. I needed new boots, Elain needed a new cloak, and Nesta was prone to crave anything someone else possessed. My arms trembled. I took a steadying breath, praying my numb fingers wouldn’t give out, and double-checked my aim.

#acotar #acotar rewrite #ch 1 #if anyone's counting #it takes sarah j maas 979 words to get to the deer #and in my revision we get there in 623 #what is she doing with all those words???

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insipid-drivel · 1 year ago

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I was raised from about age 12-13 by my stepfather to be a Druid. Putting a readmore because I don't wanna deal with oversensitive Christians.

“Religion is based on complete blind submission and not asking any questions ever”

The gods won't find you very interesting, then. If you can't do anything to help them, entertain them, love them, or capture their interest, then why would they bother with you? Really, how entitled are you if you just assume one or more divinities are yoked to your life like you're their personal iPhone? You're not. Nobody in the pantheon is salivating over your potential worship of them unless one of you reaches out. They have their own lives and shit to do, too. Our gods maintain order in the universe, which can indeed include conflict as part of that order, and so they tend to have very different concerns than "omg did enough people pray to meeeeeeeee?"

If our gods aren't capricious, then they're easily bored by an acute lack of curiosity or novelty in humans. They don't really need us to worship them, but they tend to enjoy it when we do. Asking questions is how you engage with them and signal that you want to learn. If there was such a thing as "too much" for you to learn, you'd never learn it anyway, or maybe even achieve apotheosis if you get Cerridwen to eat you alive afterward. Still wanna try? Good.

“Religion is totally focused on the afterlife and getting into heaven and avoiding hell”

The gods are just as tied to the interests of our world as we are. They often visit and even establish their own sacred grounds in this world (You can literally look The Morrigan's Cave up on Google Maps), can manifest as humans or animals to blend in, and have been known to show up in person to people to hang out, chat, and even fuck.

There isn't a "Hell" - there's Annwn, which is a realm of both life and death and other non-human societies that were either conquered or died out long ago. There were multiple rulers of Annwn, until Arawn challenged them all and, with the help of Pwyll pen Annwn in particular, won. Pwyll's reward for helping Arawn pull it off was an eternal bond of friendship with Arawn, as well as 3 magical pigs that could be killed, butchered, and eaten, only to revive the next day to be eaten again. Pwyll's reward was a rich and powerful god-bestie, and INFINITE BACON.

In other words, our deaths are never the real end to our stories. In this world, we're learning. In the next, we're learning even more, reuniting with our loved ones and descendants when it's their turn to join us, and LEARNING MOOOOORE. Eternal condemnation isn't really a thing (it's kind of counterintuitive to the "learn MOOORE" thing), unless you count "being stuck in the same eternal afterlife as everyone I ever pissed off ever gets the chance to find me and stab me in the face painfully" as a form of Hell, but it's not like that for everybody - just don't be a dick. Sometimes full-on shenanigans happen in Annwn. I mean... it's ruled by a god that rewards his friends with forever-bacon. Relax and live your life now. There's permabacon later.

The other world is the... Otherworld, which is the realm of the Sidhe, fey, and other lethal wonders that will kill you while you're gawking. Sometimes the Seelie and Unseelie Kings will invite mortals into their Court for the entertainment value. Whether the mortals wind up going back home again is neither here nor there.

“Religion is about pushing your beliefs on others and trying to get them to convert”

OUR GODS. DON'T. WANT. UNWILLING. WORSHIP. A lot of them are warriors, rulers, or otherwise have strong political dealings to handle as part of their divine rights, and they don't need random zealots rattling sabers at "unbelievers" and drawing them into conflicts with other deities they weren't already planning on clashing with.

In fact, the ancient gods of the British Isles' respective cultures are legendary for despising Christianity. Even the fey, the Sidhe, and the Fomorians fucking hate Christianity. Why? BECAUSE CHRISTIANS MURDER PEOPLE WHO DON'T CONVERT AND THEN STEAL SACRED LAND FOR THEMSELVES. YAHWEH CAN FUCK OFF.

The thing is, Christians often are so blind to the roots of their own faith - particularly with the Judaic parts of the story - that they don't understand that the only reason the Israelites were ever expected to worship Yahweh was because Abraham made a pact with Yahweh that he, his children, and his people would worship Yahweh eternally. The other Canaan-estranged tribes worshiped gods aside from Yahweh, and nowhere in the Hebrew or Islamic versions of the story is it asserted that there is only one god; just only one god the Israelites were allowed to worship. It was the Israelites that were bound, but not The Whole Of Humanity Forever Everywhere. "Exodus" isn't about the freedom of mankind from tyranny; it's about Yahweh throwing hands with the Egyptian pantheon to get his sworn servants back and keep them good to Abraham's word after 400 years (he literally promises Moses, "Your people will be a nation of priests"). It's basically just a tale of divine human trafficking between opposing deities, with Moses as the guy driving the panel van. To the Celts, Germanic tribes, Norsemen, Goths, and original Bretons, it was creepy and weird and they didn't want anything to do with it. Until, you know, they were threatened with being murdered unless they didn't.

And Jeezy Boi's ressurrection is hardly a new thing. Odin did it by hanging himself from an oak tree, just to find out what death was like (learning more about what it was to be mortal). The Oak and Holly Kings kill one another twice a year and revive twice a year to usher in the changing of the seasons (your soul may be safe as a Christian, but your life wouldn't be without the seasons). Taliesin accidentally learned All Of The Everything from licking some magic soup off of his thumb when Cerridwen told him to stir it for her, she ate him, and gave birth to him as a god (How many genocides has Yahweh committed against his own mortals again without hitting Ctrl+Z? I forget). Arawn elevated himself to Godking by basically cheesing his way through a fight with a dude that couldn't be killed unless it was with 1 single strike, or else he'd resurrect and keep fighting like a Regenerator from Resident Evil. And, this one isn't even in my pantheon, but...

OSIRIS IS LITERALLY THE GOD OF RESURRECTION IN THE EGYPTIAN PANTHEON. Resurrection is NOT that emblematic of Jesus at all. If anything, Yahweh was being derivative as hell with that one.

...And Constantine I never had any visions of a cross made of light before he went to battle against Maxentius. He studied Catechism later in his life, but was only formally baptized when he was on his deathbed. He was a shrewd politician that had to deal with an unruly bunch of monotheists shitting on their polytheistic neighbors and telling them their gods sucked. It was causing problems among the Roman citizens that were getting out of hand.

Constantine was known to have close ties to a Christian, named Eusebius of Nicomedia. He was notorious for being an aggressive, high-handed politician, who pushed the whole, "Constantine saw signs of Christ before his triumph of Maxentius and that's why he converted," story after Constantine had been baptized and subsequently died. Archaeologists have used extensive imaging technology to see if Constantine's Triumphal Arch ever featured paint that could've been depicting the cross vision, or any other Christian iconography, but nobody has ever found signs of Christianity on the arch that was supposed to help immortalize Constantine's legacy after his death. Eusebius claimed that Constantine had only confided to him about the vision, and apparently a dream of Christ he claimed to have had, and Eusebius tried to affirm it by saying that Constantine honored the message by having his soldiers paint Christian iconography onto their shields.

Except, even though there are definitely traces of ancient Roman paint on the arch that can be seen with specialized equipment, not a single soldier is shown bearing a shield or any other token of Christianity, and the arch itself bears absolutely 0 Christian symbolism.

the thing folks living in Christian dominant cultures gotta realize is that even if you’re not Christian, your basic understanding of religion and spirituality and morality is still being filtered through a Christian lens. your very concept of what religion is and does is filtered through that lens.

#celtic polytheism #don't hit the readmore button if you're christian with delicate sensibilities #constantine was a politician

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whaleji · 2 years ago

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girlblogging like kafka ; entry 2

slow day today. started watching a cool tv show about the origins of french rap and hip hop in general. love it. "le monde de demain" on netflix, it stars a guy i already discovered in "sage homme", he's very promising + dances really well. watching it makes me want to scream my lungs out and talk about everything that bugs me all the time, but i'm cursed with having no words to express and describe what i feel and why i feel it except for the obvious. i want to talk about misogyny, about social expectations, about the so lethal capitalism, about the dullness of life in the age of profit and hyper digitalisation. i've been listening to a lot of rap altogether lately. i like the raw feeling of it, the rare display of anger it allows. somehow like that painting by Zack Zdrale, "Continually Torn Apart". but i'm afraid turning my anger, so like a perpetually fed fire, into still art won't ease it enough. it's so ingrained inside, so internal i'm afraid breaking all the plates or writing all the prose of the world wouldn't be enough. expressing my anger only seems to be satisfying when it is being directly witnessed by an audience. that would mean what i'm looking for may be performative art : rap, live painting, walls wrecking... but would that even be enough in itself ? dunno.

i've been thinking about getting a whale tattoo. love whales, they're fascinating beings. their eyes so profound and full of knowledge, so full of kindness and patience. it's hard for me to act on changing something about my appearance forever because my sense of self is so fickle and ever-changing. one day i'm classy, want to fit within the self proper crowd, to curate my persona from the inside as well as the outside, to have nice hair and carefully chosen clothes and perfect nails and skin, to be mature in appearance and thought, to be feminine but not "girly"; the other i dress with whatever looks clean enough on my floor, wear no makeup, despise anything that could associate me with abiding to patriarchal diktats, display proudly unshaven armpits and legs, look at said proper crowds with defiance and anger; sometimes i dress according to specific styles, y2k or goth or emo or lolita or pinterest girl or sea lover, embrace new personas and looks, envision myself as part of that crowd forever and make semi permanent choices in regards to it. recent examples are me dying my hair bright red on a whim on a week night in my friend's small dorm room, or me deciding to get acrylics two days ago because they're pretty and regretting it two days later, bothered by the lack of practicality they induce as well as the way they look.

i'm afraid of facing the same dilemma after getting tatted and regretting it my whole life afterwards. i wish i didn't have such a fragile sense of who i am and how i present to the world. i think the real issue at hand is my materiality. if i didn't have a physical body that i have to constantly accommodate so it looks the closest possible to how i imagine my soul appears, i could just be. i could be myself without my other, physical self to act as a barrier between me and the world. but then i'd be so raw and where could i hide from harm ? if everyone was a soul without a body then our souls would crash against one other and bruise and swallow one other up perpetually. i fear and wish for this extent of rawness from my soul and that of others at all times. as it's impossible yet, i sit and fantasize about immateriality in my bed, looking at abstract paintings headphones plugged in listening to that cathartic rap that turns my despair into anger and helps purge it if only a little.

sitting on my bed. still far away from home. but where's home ? i know wherever i'm coming back to after this vacation is not, and yet my apartment 1000kms from it isn't either. and when did my childhood home stop being home, and what become of "home" ? my home are four people i wish i could climb into, but can't see often, or at the same time. when they're away i'm homeless. i stray. i look for a place to settle in. a concept. i stray. i'm homeless within my house. it's raining outside.

#spilled ink #spilled thoughts #girlblogging #franz kafka #writing #writerscorner

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lovebugism · 2 years ago

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steve + reader who’s insecure about her large thighs

TW for smut and body insecurities and a very self-indulgent fic (4.5k)

Ironically, Steve’s favorite part of you was the one you kept most hidden.

He hates when you wear sweatpants to bed. You always tell him you’re cold, even though you’re not really cold — you just don’t know how to tell him the sight of your thighs makes you feel icky sometimes.

He always tells you that you don’t need them. He’ll always joke that he can warm you up the ‘old-fashioned way’ if you get cold during that night, that it’s ‘his speciality.’

You’re never swayed.

He hates it the most when you won’t let him touch you.

On the rare occasion you wear lounge shorts to, well, lounge in, Steve turns ravenous. He all but gravitates towards you, like he might die if he’s more than a couple feet away from you.

And you — you’ve got no earthly idea what you do to him. You’re curled up on the couch, reading some too big novel, and so effortlessly perfect in your way. Steve can’t help but slink in behind you, press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder, and melt wholeheartedly into you with two wide hands on your warm skin.

His palms inevitably find purchase on your exposed thighs. It’s like magnets, almost. He can’t help but touch you there, like he was made to do it.

You like when he gets like that most of the time. You giggle, all innocent, and complain like you hate it. “I’m trying to read, Stevie. Stop tickling me,” you gripe through a lighthearted laugh as his scruff brushes the base of your neck.

You don’t try to stop him, though. Both of you know you secretly like how badly he seems to need you.

His smile curls against your shoulder.

“I’m not tickling you,” he teases, knowingly. “I’m loving on you.”

You roll your eyes and try to concentrate on your book again. It’s harder than it was before, you find, with Steve’s all-consuming touch making you buzz in his hold. The book was just starting to get good before he interrupted you. Now you can barely remember the title of the damn thing.

“Well, you should try and find better opportunities for these situations, Stevie,” you quip.

He smacks a final, wetter kiss to the junction of your neck. Then he nods, mostly to himself since you’re not looking at him to see it — too busy pretending to read your book. His fingers twitch on your thigh before rising to toy with the hems of your bottoms.

“Hmm. Maybe you’re right,” he hums and drags his fingers to the waistline of your shorts. He dips his fingers just below them. From where he’s tucked along your back, he can feel your breath hitch. You tense and deflate, forcing yourself to relax before he can notice how rigid you’ve gone.

But Steve notices.

He always notices.

There’s nothing about you that Steve isn’t already acutely aware of.

With his free hand — the one not settled just below your stomach under your shorts, but the one still rubbing along your arm — he feels goosebumps erupt on your skin as you bite back a shiver.

His fingers dip lower, lower, lower. They graze the manicured hair of your pubic bone — the coarse hair there contrasts sharply against the softness of your slick lips. And Steve just holds you there, cups your pussy with a touch so full of filth and adoration. A nearly lethal concoction only he can muster.

You’ve long abandoned your book. The thing is close to falling out of your hands now. The paperback slips further and further from your fingertips the more lax you get. Steve can feel you getting heavier as you relax against him. You’ve borderline stopped breathing, awaiting the cruel anticipation of his touch.

It makes the boy laugh. The heavy exhale fans against your jaw.

“So, you’re saying now’s a bad time, then?” he taunts, nose nudging the shell of your ear.

“Yeah…” you sigh. “I wanna… wanna finish my book… You’re bothering me.”

“Oh, I’m bothering you?” he smiles, knowing.

You nod, but it’s a tad bit sloppy with how drunk you’ve gone.

Steve slots a finger between your lips and hums to himself at how wet you are. He’s always amazed by how soft your pussy is, made exactly of silk and velvet.

“Then why are you so wet for me?”

You don’t answer, just whine and melt further into him.

Steve is all too happy to let you, even though the position is a tad bit awkward. He’s got one foot planted on the floor while the other steadily falls numb from where it’s curled underneath him. He’s not moving until you come, though.

With you still slouched in his lap, he slithers his free hand beneath your thigh to open you wider for him. And you — sweet and pliable you — let him do it all without protest. You’ve got one foot beside his on the carpet and the other bent up towards the back of the couch. Perfectly spread open.

It’s not like you need the assistance or anything, though. With how wet you are just now, he’s bound to slide in without trouble.

“There you go,” Steve murmurs in your ear when you laze wholly against him. “Always so good for me. Even when you don’t wanna be, right?”

He makes you come like that once, with his fingers that you gush all over. That orgasm doesn’t have shit on the one he gives you right after. You’re always a sucker for a man on his knees for you, but Steve’s quite literally the master of eating pussy. So when his mouth locks on your clit and his hands grip your thighs to keep you pressed against him, you’re coming in record time.

It’s more than the experience, though, and Steve knows it.

Sure, he’s been with enough girls to know what parts of them are the most sensitive, but it’s because he knows you so damn well that he can get you to explode the way you do. He knows everything you like, everything you don’t like — what you always want more of before you can beg for it and what you hate before you can tell him you hate it.

Steve Harrington can read you like a fucking book. He swears no one has ever understood a person the way he understands you.

So he knows exactly when you get in these moods, all reserved and a little upset for no tangible reason, where you absolutely refuse to let him touch you.

Steve might be able to understand it better if you just didn’t want to have sex, but most of the time all he wants to do is love on you and you act like it’s some abominable crime. He’ll keep his hands to himself because he’ll never do anything you don’t want, but his heart breaks every damn time he can’t hold you.

He knows it’s coming when Eddie invites you out for drinks.

You’re in a great mood at the start of the day. You spend all afternoon giddy at the chance to see Eddie for the first time in ages — getting drunk with him, more than anything. But getting ready to leave is objectively less fun, and you always forget about that until your hair won’t cooperate and your makeup doesn’t look how you want it to.

Steve hears you grumble at yourself in the mirror. The disgruntled sound is muffled through the shut bathroom door. He aches to make you feel better, but he learned a long time ago to leave you alone.

You come out sometime later, dolled up and beautiful and slightly annoyed.

The boy whistles lowly at your appearance, then says, “You look hot, babe. Seriously. You could be a pornstar — easy.”

He says it to make you laugh. His chest burns when you don’t.

You lock yourself in the bathroom with different outfits stacked in your arms. Steve tries to count how many, but you slam the door shut before he can get past three.

Hidden away in the washroom, the small space simmering with the heavy humidity of anxiety and irritation, you try on five — five — different outfits. A sexy red dress first and then an even sexier, tighter black one. You almost chose the latter until you stared too long in the mirror and hated how it looked on you.

You try on a pair of leather shorts and two more skirts after. One’s an alluring sparkly mesh number, the other a too expensive frilly thing with a slit up to your hip that Steve had gotten you a couple of anniversaries ago.

You curse yourself for even trying to look nice. It’s the same gut-wrenching cycle every time — liking the outfit you’ve put together, then hating the body inside of it. It’s your thighs that nag you most of the time. You think they’re too big, too round. They don’t look good in anything other than baggy sweatpants.

You try to look pretty and just end up hurting your own feelings.

When you storm out of the bathroom again, you do it blinking back burning tears full of anger.

“Are you ready?” Steve wonders absentmindedly before he’s even looked at the steaming ball of rage you are. He tears his gaze from the television and finds you half-naked, clad in nothing but a pretty lace bra and matching underwear — lingerie that you’d chosen for him.

You were going to surprise him with it when you got back from the bar, buzzed and giddy with it. You would’ve played coy, and he would’ve gone absolutely wild for you… You don’t feel very much like something to go wild for now.

“Does it look like I’m ready?” you grumble in response before you realize how bitter it sounds.

Steve isn’t deterred by your annoyance. He knows it’s not at him.

“For the Hideout?” he quips. “Totally. In fact, I’d say you’re a little overdressed.”

You toss the wad of clothes in your arms into your shared closet. You don’t seem to mind the heaping pile it leaves on the floor, even though you usually hate when it gets messy. “I don’t think I wanna go anymore.”

Steve nearly deflates. He was looking forward to going out. Going out, with you.

His legs swing over the edge of the mattress as he looks over at you with a puppy-like pout. “Why? You were so excited to go earlier, remember? You were talking about finally getting to see Eddie again—”

“We can go another time,” you interject before he can remind you of how happy you were. You start rifling through your drawers for pajamas because you’ve already given up on having a good time.

Steve doesn’t miss how your voice cracks halfway through. Or the way you go for an oversized t-shirt and those goddamn pair of gray sweatpants you use like a shield. A weapon.

His chest aches with all the love he holds for you there. It tightens with anguish at how dejected you’ve gotten — mourning a night out before it could happen because you hate the way you look.

He’s at a loss at how to prove how beautiful you are. He can only tell you that you’re perfect so many times before it loses meaning.

“C’mere, babe,” he commands in a soft coo.

Still not looking at him, you start to ramble: “You can go if you want, okay? I just really don’t feel like it anymore, and I know I won’t have a good time, and I don’t want to weigh you down, so… You can just— You can go without me—”

Your voice is fragile, like cracking glass. You’re obviously overwhelmed.

“I’m not going without you,” Steve dismisses the thought almost immediately. “I won’t have a good time if you’re not there. I’d rather be with you here than without you somewhere else.”

You turn to him, pajamas balled up at your stomach. “You don’t have to say that, okay? You don’t have to pretend so you won’t hurt my feelings.”

“Can you just— Can you come here?” he bites, less than patiently. He follows that up with a kinder, “Please?”

You huff about it but oblige him anyway. You walk to his side of the bed, practically stomping like an angry child, until you’re in front of him. Steve reaches for your hands to pull you closer when you stop short. He entwines his larger fingers with your own. He raises his chin to meet your frown with a soft grin.

“You know you look pretty in everything, right?”

You groan and try to yank out of his grip. He only holds you tighter.

“You do. I swear. I have to try not to pop a boner every time I see you.”

“Shut up…” you grumble.

“I’m serious!” he chuckles. His laughter feels like sunshine to your storm cloud. “I’m literally doing it right now!”

Steve smirks when your eyes flit down to his lap. His slacks conceal too much for you to call his bluff, but there wouldn’t be a point in it, anyway. He’s been half-hard since he saw you in your underwear. It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, trying not to act like a totally ravenous teenage boy whenever you’re around.

He sees a look of disbelief flash across your face. You squint at him, then scrunch your nose. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he scoffs with a nod. “I literally have to talk myself down, or else I’ll jump all over you.”

“You do that anyway,” you argue.

“Then imagine that times a hundred. That’s what I wanna do to you all the time,” he confesses with a twinkle in his honey eyes and a smile on his pink lips. “I just need you, you know? Like, all the fucking time. I feel a little empty when I’m not holding you. It kinda hurts now…”

You purse your lips to the side. It’s obvious you want to say something.

His gaze goes wide and hopeful. “Can I touch you more?”

You nod wordlessly.

Steve doesn’t waste a second. His hands ease their grip and dart to your thighs. They settle along the backs of them to urge you closer. Now, eye-level with your waist, he realizes that your under is see-through. The sight of your pussy makes him gulp — like, audibly gulp. The cartoonish sound makes you laugh.

Even though he’s a little embarrassed at himself, he’s glad you take amusement in it. He decides then that he’d probably lie in a busy street if he thought it might make you happy.

“See? I’m so far gone for you, it’s not even funny.”

You feel a bit like glass as you stand in front of him, fragile and completely see-through.

Steve always knows exactly what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. The thought is as comforting as it is overwhelming — to know that you’ll never have to go through the bad shit alone because he can hear all of your icky thoughts before you say them out loud.

Your eyes go heavy under the weight of your unshed tears. A delicate sigh rattles your chest.

“I just… I don’t really… like the way I look sometimes… you know?” you admit for the first time out loud. The words come out slow and a little bit choppy, like they’re hard for you to say.

“I know,” Steve coos with an understanding nod. “I know…”

His hands squeeze the skin of your thighs in reassurance because he isn’t totally sure of what to say. He doesn’t want to denounce all the big feelings you’re feeling, but it’s pretty damn hard to nurture them when he’s looking at the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.

“But that’s… that’s all in your head. Your brain is just being a little mean to you, you know? ‘Cause you’re… I mean, you’re— you—” he stammers when he realizes that there isn’t a word in the dictionary that could encapsulate all the beauty you are. “I mean, you’re perfect. And that— that doesn’t even start to describe it. Maybe if I was a little smarter, I could, but… I guess that’s what I get for not going to college. Can’t tell my girlfriend how pretty she is…”

Steve musters a lopsided grin. You try to smile back at him.

“I know it’s not… That it’s not real, but… It feels real, you know? Like, I look in the mirror, and I… I just— I hate it, sometimes. I hate it…”

Steve swallows through a tightening throat. He feels like you’re talking about him. In some ways, you are. That’s his body you’re talking about — his thighs, his tummy, his everything about you that he loves so damn much.

“Well, you know what?” the boy wonders with a smile because both of you can’t be sad right now. “I’m gonna love so damn much, you’re gonna be overflowin’ with it, alright? And you’re gonna be so full of it, you’re not gonna have a choice be to love yourself. Then you’ll see everything I’m seeing ‘cause… damn…”

You’re warmed by his words — by the sheer weight of them. They feel like honey or a warm blanket, sticky and heavy and all consuming. Despite your swelling heart, you roll your eyes at the boy in front of you who’s looking at you like he’s never seen a naked woman before — like he hasn’t seen you naked a million times.

Steve always looks at you like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you — like he has to memorize all of your features just in case he never gets to see you again.

“You don’t have to,” you remind him, hopeful and a little forlorn. To love me, you almost say. You don’t because you don’t have to. “But you do, so… Thank you.”

“Oh, trust me, baby, the pleasure is all mine,” he scoffs, a tad bit overwhelmed with all the love he’s got for you. He ushers you closer, closer, closer until you’re forced to settle in his lap.

You do so without protest.

His touches feel less painful now — less like knives, and more like ice cream and summer rain and old love songs. Love personified.

His smile is crooked, his eyes are wide, and his brows are raised to his hairline. He looks boyish, full of lust and tenderness and hope. And looks at you with all of it. You’re still not sure how deserving you are of it.

“‘Cause… look at you. You’re a fucking— you’re a smoke show, honey.”

“You really have a way with words, don’t ya, Stevie?” you laugh. You try to trap your smile between your teeth, but it does little to conceal your beaming.

Now, higher of spirits, you settle further into Steve’s touch. Your arms wrap loosely around his neck while you make yourself comfortable in his lap. It’s all perfectly pleasant and familiar, but you can’t miss the boner in his slacks. The raging hard-on is tucked into his right pant leg and brushing along your inner thigh.

“Huh… You weren’t kidding about that boner, were you?”

“No, I was not.”

Your eyes go from taunting to mischievous in a flash, no longer the melancholy girl you had been just minutes before. How can you be, when you’ve got this beautiful boy below you? When this beautiful boy thinks you’re so damn pretty that the sight of you’s got him hard?

“Want me to take care of it for you?”

Steve wants so badly to say yes. He stopped being so selfish somewhere between getting called bullshit at a Halloween party and finding a girl dressed as an angel puking in the bushes some twenty minutes later. He offered to give this angel — you — a ride home and hasn’t stopped thinking about her since.

“No. You don’t have to, babe,” he declines softly with warm, wide hands rubbing up and down the expanse of your outer thighs. “Not if you don’t feel up to it.”

“Well, what if I do feel up to it?” you argue and weave your hand in his hair. Your fingers dance through the chestnut locks as you slowly bring his face closer to yours. “What if I want you to fuck me stupid and make me forget why I was upset in the first place?”

His brain stopped functioning at “fuck me stupid.” His honey eyes glaze over and his pink mouth falls softly agape. He’s nodding at you before he realizes he’s doing it. “Then... I think… Yeah, we could… We could arrange that.”

You grin at him, playful like you’ve got some sort of trick up your sleeve. You slip off his lap and flop onto the mattress on your stomach. With your arms folded under your cheeks, you turn to look at the boy from over your shoulder. “How do you want me, Stevie?”

He rises slowly, unable to take his eyes off of you — or the gleam in your eye that you look at him with, or the sheer pair of underwear that practically shouts his name.

Rather brazenly, he begins to palm himself through his slacks, working himself even harder for you.

“Like that,” he murmurs. You wiggle your ass for him and laugh when his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “I want you… just like that.”

He wrenches his hands underneath your thighs to tug you to the edge of the bed. Your giggle is entwined with a giddy squeal — the heavenly sound fills the quiet of the bedroom and bleeds into a soft moan when he drops to his knees and licks a fat stripe over your clothed pussy.

Steve eats you out from behind like a professional. Maybe because he is one, in some ways. He’s an expert in your body. He knows exactly what makes you tick like a time bomb until you ultimately explode.

He starts by teasing you. He mouths at your folds through underwear and doesn’t stop until your panties are sopping and you’re begging him to fuck you. He doesn’t oblige you, not yet anyway — “let me taste you first, baby,” he murmurs as he slides the sheer fabric to the side. He works you open with his tongue next. You’re so wound up, you come all over his mouth without warning.

You’re a writhing mess upon an unmade bed, forced to suffer through every wave of your overwhelming orgasm. Steve tries to aid you through the comedown. He presses soft kisses to your trembling thighs, leaving the occasional love bite on your warm skin and licking over the soft indents of his teeth on the plushest part of your ass.

The high barely has time to pass before he slips his cock into you.

He likes you most that way — when you’re fatigued but still buzzing. It makes you more pliant that way, needier and louder for him. You don’t say anything coherent, though, just babbles of pleas entwined with his name.

Steve nearly squishes you under his weight as he fucks you into the mattress. With his back pressed over your back, the proximity of your bodies forces his cock to hit the deepest part of you, over and over and over again. The smack of your thighs and his heavy balls against your pussy and his wet kisses on your neck is a lewd sort of heavenly — a beautiful kind of sinful.

His touches are fleeting. His hands can’t seem to stay in one place for very long because he wants to touch you everywhere. He grips your hips with enough force to leave bruises there, swats your ass to hear you whine, and lets you suck on his fingers when you beg for them.

He settles, finally, on your swollen clit. He rubs you there until he feels your pulsating pussy clench around him and doesn’t stop until you’re gushing and pushing his hand away.

You’re fucked successfully stupid and totally lax beneath him when Steve’s hips stutter against your ass. He mumbles high-pitched and mindless praises in your ear as his orgasm creeps up his spine.

“So pretty for me, baby. Fuck— you’re so damn pretty like this. Pussy’s so good, too…” he murmurs just before a whine crawls up and out of his throat. He tucks his head between your neck and shoulder and whispers his sinful babbles there. “It’s so good, baby. You feel so fucking good— god, I can’t fucking… Holy shit, I love you, baby. Love you so goddamn much. Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

He fills you up barely a moment later.

Steve stuffs you full of his come, kisses you until your senses return to you, then rushes to the bathroom for a washcloth to clean the both of you up with. He parts from you after, still naked, to chuck the dirty rag into the hamper.

“Do you want me to call Eddie and tell him we can’t make it? I can ask if he’s gonna be in town tomorrow or something so we can…” the boy trails off when he rounds his side of the bed and finds you sleeping.

Steve phones Eddie and tells him that you aren’t feeling well, that you’re sleeping now, and that you’ll call him in the morning when you’re feeling better. Eddie’s a total grouch about it because he thinks it’s Steve’s fault you’re not coming to his show.

He’ll gladly take the blame. He’s all too happy to crawl into bed beside you and clutch you like a teddy bear as he drifts off to sleep with you.

You wake the next morning, a little sore, a little embarrassed, and so so full of love.

You peck a sleeping Steve on his slack mouth before shuffling off to the bathroom. It’s hard to miss your blowsy appearance in the mirror. Your makeup is smeared, your hair tousled, and lacy underwear still on. Your skin is in worse shape — covered in varying shades of red and purple bruises.

Your thighs and ass are littered with lovebites. Some are already fading, others are bound to stick around for another day or more. If you look real close, you can still see some of the bite marks from when Steve got particularly excited.

Covered in bits of him, remnants of his fingertips and mouth from where he’d love on you so ardently — you feel pretty.

“I’m gonna love so damn much you’re gonna be overflowin’ with it, alright?” he’d told you some hours earlier. “And you’re gonna be so full of it, you’re not gonna have a choice be to love yourself.”

You’d wanted to laugh about it then, but now it makes you want to cry — not of sadness exactly, but not quite of happiness either. It’s some foreign feeling in between that has you sick to your stomach and sparkling with contentment all at once.

You love how much Steve loves you.

And, one day, maybe sooner than you realize, you’ll start to love yourself the same way.

#published by bug #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #stevie drabble #st drabbles

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calebwittebane · 18 days ago

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like listen i understand its not like a Major Part Of The Gameplay but its plot relevant: the ease with which you bribe sokolov during his interrogation is so lame. now i understand that its in-character for him to have no real principles despite his claims and to be very easily bribed by his favorite luxuries and instinctively suck up to whom be perceives as High Class People Of Good Taste And Status. those are rly fun traits to establish and play off of, and that he thinks highly of corvo since they knew each other beforehand is also good. i think him hyping up his Legendary Resolve And Stubbornness only to relent the second he's promised his favorite brandy is really funny and fitting

but my issue is that like. theres basically no reason to do anything else ever unless youre specifically going out of your way to get the highest chaos possible. okay to back up a little: the fun thing about dishonored is that the game consistently tempts you to go high chaos, with all the cool Killing Powers and Killing Gadgets and being detected causes people to gang up on you and how a lot of the time the easiest solution to a problematic area is to just recalibrate all the security devices, all the watchtowers and pylons and walls of light, and have them fry everyone for you while you watch from a safe distance. in contrast, non-lethal routes often aren't as obvious. sure, there are some alternative paths to your objective where if you find them its super easy to stay undetected (i mean its a stealth game.), but thats not always true, not in the slightest. sometimes you really do have to time shit just right to sneak past some npcs. non-lethal ways of taking enemies out are waaay more unreliable: choking them out requires you to become extremely vulnerable to being detected by others, sleeping darts are a relatively limited resource and without the right upgrades take time to kick in giving the target ample opportunity to react and alert others, you don't get to dispose of bodies and instead have to hide the incapacitated npcs somewhere they wont fall off and die, etc etc. stealth-oriented powers like possession and stopping time are very costly to upgrade to full potential, very costly to use, and only give you a very short window of time to make use of them. so like. it takes effort to be proper stealthy and not a Murder Man. you get my point

so when its time to find a non-violent way to get information out of sokolov youd think thered be some type of skill or thinking required. maybe you have to put in some effort into finding out what it is that would convince sokolov. but no, literally like. 3? 4 people? tell you right away. yeah he likes this nasty brandy you should try getting him that. you have that little interaction with piero and you might think that how you react to catching him in doing something bad would dictate his willingness to help you but no not really. not only that, he just happens to have a bottle of the brandy. ok. but he says hes not giving it to you for free, it was a huge pain to obtain. so im like ok, maybe its like mad expensive, so if you havent been like collecting and selling sokolov paintings and have been buying upgrades and all it might not be possible for you to afford, maybe thats the wall. no, its 150 quid. it costs less than a sleep dart at graff's during the campbell mission. and then you give it to sokolov and hes like yaay yippee okay i'll tell you what i know

like maybe im wrong for focusing on this so much i mean in a way this stage of the quest is kind of a formality and not really what the Gameplay is about but it just bothers me. like mannnn what was the point of all that. maybe even just having sokolov tell you what kind of bribe he'd like if you press him about it, or having to do a sort of trial and error with it, or nobody telling you anything but theres some expensive stuff you can buy from piero you never had any reason to purchase before but now youre like ohhh okay, but theyre rly expensive so theres a chance you wont be able to afford all of them. you know? anything. small changes that wouldve made a big difference

like again idk the game is so good overall that weird moments like that are so jarring to me

dishonored is such a good game that those couple of moments where it suddenly really drops the ball for no reason are so jarring

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woodspr1te · 2 years ago

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possessive!miles quaritch headcanons

summary: miles quaritch often makes his claim on you known… not that you really mind

warning: (poorly done) nsfw content ahead. also written with x afab!reader in mind, and includes several afab terms. vague? angst for like 3 seconds.

this man has lost everything, so when it comes to you??? he’s not taking any chances

constantly says something about you being his, even in the most normal of conversations....

lyle’s bothering you? he’s promptly told off with a “wainfleet. leave my woman alone.”

AND GOD FORBID ANYONE EVER MAKES A COMMENT TOWARDS YOU

the immediate eyebrow crease when he hears it. his ears tilt down, and flatten against his head. he grips the person’s shoulder as tight as possible, practically crushing it. his smile is almost lethal by itself with the amount of fang it shows, as he leans closer to them. “say another word about my girl again, and i’ll make sure any na’vi arrows are the least of your worries”

keeps you basically pressed against him at all times. hands on your waist, gripping your ass, entangling your fingers in his... this list is endless

his favorite thing to do of all time is to press himself against you whenever you’re doing something. burying his face into your neck and nuzzling as close as he can while he breathes in your scent

he also enjoys grinding his hips against you while he presses gentle kisses to the back of your neck, hoping to get some attention

needy needy NEEDY man. i said what i said

he’s so desperate 24/7 honestly this man is a slut for you

the amount of times you’ve come back to your home with miles’s pants on the floor and him fucking his fist is unreal

you’ll watch from the doorway as he fists his cock, his tip an angry purple hue with precum leaking out

he’s already panting, making full eye contact as he mumbles out “get your ass over here so i can cum on those pretty tits, baby”

he has a thing for marking you with his cum

you’re lucky if you leave the room without smelling like sex for the next year, body aching from the number he does on you

has a thing for scenting you too. literally will rub his head and neck all over your body to cover you in his scent so others know you’re spoken for.

his recom body goes through heat? even worse. you’re literally unable to be seen for a week, and he’s constantly pumping you full of his cum

he won’t let you get up for a while after you both finish. his arms are caging you in tight as he presses butterfly kisses to your shoulder, sucking your skin lightly and nipping so it’ll bruise

he marks you UPPPPPPP like to the max

nothing can ever cover them up. and if you wear na’vi clothing? good luck.

your hips have faint fingertip marks all the time. it’s practically part of your skin now from how hard he grips them when bouncing you on his dick

HICKEYS. he has the mind of a teenage boy sometimes okay and all he cares about is everyone seeing how good you let him make you feel

bite marks. miles puts those teeth to use, okay. they litter the inside of your thighs and hip bones. he enjoys watching you squirm as he marks you up, especially when he’s taking his time eating you out

you cum on his fingers once when he bites your hip? he’ll do it every time from then on

prides himself on how good he makes you feel. when he’s fucking you from the back and you’re crying out for him, he’ll pull you up against his chest, wrapping his arm around you. then, he’ll make you tell him how good it feels or you don’t get to cum

you comply?? he’ll make you do it over and over. “who’s my good little slut?” “you like the way i make you feel? tell me how good this dick is.” “such a good girl, my good girl.” “nobody else is ever gonna give you this. only i can fuck you like this, right princess?”

YOU’RE A BRAT??? good luck. he will make you beg and then overstim you to eywa and back. “only good girls get to finish. you think you’ve been my good girl?” “tell me you’re mine and i’ll think about letting you cum.” “who does this pussy belong to? that’s fucking right. me. say it.”

fucks you in front of mirrors so you can see how well he fits inside you. loves to fuck you with your hands pressed against the glass as he grips your throat and murmurs “you see that sloppy little cunt? look at how perfect it fits around me. look at how good you take my cum”

has a big thing for cockwarming and aftercare cuz he really loves you. runs his hands up and down your body, kissing your head as he mumbles how proud you made him and how you’re his sweet girl. makes sure to press all of his cum back into you, and presses a little bit down on your clit every time he does just to be a fucking tease.

he just wants to know you’ll love him for the rest of time and that he’s yours. as much as he loves hearing you say you’re his, he needs to know he belongs to you as well

you even jokingly tell him he’s your big, strong mate? he’s literally purring, tail swishing back and forth with happiness.

has such a strong urge to protect you. places his body in front of yours when there’s a suspicious noise. won’t let you out of his sight for a second.

miles LOVESSSSS when you seem like you need him. can’t sleep and you wake him up for comfort?

at first, he seems a little grumpy, but the moment he realizes it’s you his voice turns soft. “sweetheart… baby, what’s wrong? c’mere, i’ve got you. nothing’s gonna touch my girl, not while i’m here”

he’s not possessive in a “jealous of every man” kind of way. although he wouldn’t like the way some people look at you, it’s about you choosing to leave him/abandoning him more than anything

he’s lost so much already. his human self, his dignity, his son, the war…. but losing you would truly break him

ESPECIALLY if you are na’vi. not even recom. he doesn’t want your clan to steal you back, can’t let you betray him

it would terrify him if you both fought and you brought up leaving. perhaps it would be about the actions of specops or the rda’s actions. regardless, your cry of “i can’t fucking do this anymore, miles” stops him dead in his tracks

his throat feels like it’s closing. he has barely breathed in 10 seconds, and the silence between you both is deafening

you shook your head, turning away from him. “miles… i love you, but i can’t-”

“don’t fucking go. you promised you’re mine.” he interrupts you almost immediately, and he’s a lot closer than you remembered. he sounds broken, almost wounded

you swallow, looking down as you take his hands in yours. “my miles…”

he interrupts you again, pressing his forehead against yours. “you love me? then stay, please. we can figure it out, baby. we’re mates, right? m’not stupid, i know what it did when we made tsaheylu. i chose you forever, so choose me.”

he’s whipped, mkay. literally would rather saw his own tail off then hear you say you’re leaving him

lowkey freaks out if you ever get injured. he keeps a very calm facade, and perhaps even scolds you with a light “c’mon baby, what the hell were you thinking” but he’s secretly so happy you’re gonna be okay

shows you off at ANY AND EVERY possible chance

you walk in a room? “there she is! been looking all over for you, baby.”

hyper-aware of your reactions. he notices you’ve favoring one kind of fruit more, and all the suddenly he’s gathered 20 of them for your consumption

prides himself on being the best mate possible for you, and he’s going to make sure you know it too

#avatar 2 #avatar x reader #colonel miles quaritch #avatar #miles quaritch headcanon #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch smut #avatar smut #avatar imagine #avatar headcanons #i know it’s not the best okay but we’re not talking abt that

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simpingcowboy · 2 years ago

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Ranking Pedro Boys as to Whether I Could Beat Them in a Fight

Pt 2 of this nonsense, featuring all the rest of 'em

0, no threat - 10, I live in fear of this man

Once again for all intents and purposes we're posing these as bar type fights in manual combat

Nico, 0

Stand type of spoiled rich boy. I don't imagine he's ever really fought someone before. He would likely think that I'm robbing him- and he would be mistaken. I'm not interested in taking money. I'm interested in taking his dignity. Though he'd leave quite shaken, it would be a good story for him to dramatically wax on about at whatever open house he goes to next.

Dio, 2

Probably the only Pedro boy I'd actually want to fight. A bratty teenaged boy that I will absolutely demolish. He's got spunk, but I've got hands. As a proud former (ehh well- still sometimes if the occasion calls) goth kid, I'd actually love to beat him up. Narcissism and misogyny are NOT punk! And that boy needs a good humbling that I can deliver. He'd be lucky to have half of his piercing still in him.

Marcus Moreno, 4

Picking a fight with Moreno would be interesting, but yield little results. Considering I'm not a national level threat, I don't think he'd even bother with me. It also wouldn't be a good look for the Heroics to be seen beating up a superpower-less civilian. Marcus would simply teach me a lesson by using his powers to helplessly pin me to a wall to hang there in my shame. Literally. He'd just leave me there and walk away laughing. It'd be utterly humiliating.

Omar Assarian, 6

I have admittedly never seen the entirety of Lights Out, but from what I know he's an overly cocky arrogant boxer. So unfortunately for me he does know how to fight. Unfortunately for him, I'm a dirty street fighter who has no problems playing unfairly. It'd be a fight worth seeing. There'd be trash talk, drama, sexual tension, and utter confusion on his behalf about my technique. It'd be close. Ultimately though, I think after a couple right hooks he'd have me.

Oberyn Martell, 8

The Red Viper gets knocked down a couple points as I think he's most accustomed to fighting with his spear and not his hands. Still- boy is lethal. He's agile, fast, intelligent, and has lots of stamina (don't get me started). It'd be hard to get my hands on him enough to do notable damage. Oberyn would wear me out until he felt he could safely get close without immediately getting hit then take me out. I'm unsure if he would kill me, but certainly leave me unfit to stand up for a couple minutes. Truth be told- the smack talk he'd deliver would be so entertaining it'd be worth getting beat up over.

Max Phillips, 9

Actually I probably wouldn't mind fighting Max either. Unfortunately for me though, this would be a fight I'd lose. The whole "vampiric super strength" thing he's got going on will most certainly grant him a certain victory. I'm not even sure I could defeat him unless I had a handy wooden stake on me, which I often do not. I would likely end up as a snack for him :(

Din Djarin, 12 since so many of you were so eager to watch him beat my ass

This wouldn't even be a fight. It'd be a slaughter. Even fully unarmed, Din is probably the most dangerous of all the Pedro boys. He's skilled in literally every type of fight. Not to mention his encasing of full beskar armor. His helmet would probably break my damn hand. Best case scenario here, I'm last 2 minutes TOPS and that's assuming I can somehow sneak up behind him to catch him off guard. But let's be real here... I'd probably be dead before I even threw my first punch <\3

#Am writes #this is so stupid lmao #pedro pascal characters #din djarin #the mandalorian #max phillips #oberyn martell #omar Assarian #marcus moreno #dio svu #the house comes with a bird #nico

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maximotts · 2 years ago

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🧠🏡😋❤️‍🩹 with wanda, doll, and nat PLS AND THANK 😌

DOLL TIME!! I miss that noodlehead

🧠- MBTI/Enneagram headcanon

Wanda is an ISFJ through and through, protective, loyal, and loving to a fault. The fault being she'd quite literally kill anyone who tried bothering her precious Doll, kidnapped, brainwashed, and created a hex around them to keep her safe and protected. It's fine, she's fine

Choosing for Natasha was hard, but I ended up going with ISTJ. She's heavily analytical and rigid in her schedules. If she needs to leave, she'll leave, and obviously she's the only person besides Wanda allowed in and out of the hex. She's also blunt, too much sometimes, but she always tells Wanda what she needs to hear, not what she wants to.

And Doll is... head empty.. hers is ILWW: In Love With Wanda

🏡- Domestic headcanon

So Wanda spent a lot of time getting Doll used to a set schedule and for as long as Doll could remember, all they knew was the house with only Wanda. One day, Doll can't remember when exactly, Natasha started showing up and it was scary at first, but eventually with coaxing from Wanda, Doll came around.

However, no amount of reassurance could've prepared Doll for a night where Wanda explains she has to leave for a few hours and is putting Nat in charge while she's gone. Doll didn't dislike Nat, not at all, but she loved Wanda, couldn't handle the thought of going to bed without her mommy there to tuck her in. And an unhappy Doll led to a frustrated Natasha.

So she made it a challenge, "You want to stay up and let your mommy come back and see what a difficult girl you're being? Do you think that'd make her happy?" Sleepy and upset as she was, Doll knew if Wanda witnessed her tantrum, she'd be locked away for a full day at the very least... It was enough to settle her and get her into bed, for which Natasha was grateful because she'd also be in for it if Wanda came home to see her prized possession in such a state.

The compromise was Natasha telling Doll stories about Wanda, fantastical stories about when she stopped buildings from falling and hurled cars at the bad guys to keep them out of the way. Doll thinks Nat's stories are silly; her mommy would never throw a car! But they made her laugh until she was sleepy and when she finally, finally closed her eyes, Natasha could breathe again.

Wanda returned home in the early hours of the morning, tired and expecting chaos. To her surprise, she found her Doll sound asleep... and an exhausted Nat snoring along the foot of the bed.

😋- Funny/stupid headcanon

Natasha likes to whisper Bad Things to Doll, convince her what a fun game it'll be to walk up to Wanda and say them and poor Doll, always eager to play with Nat, agrees every time. Some of Natasha's favorite reactions include Wanda's face when Doll tugged on the edge of her sweater, catching her attention just to relay the message "Natty says she wants to show you her new toy after I go to bed... Do you need to be fucked to sleep, mommy? Is that why your bedtime is later? Natty says so!"

The resulting glare was lethal, yes, but Wanda's blush told Natasha a completely different story.

❤️‍🩹- Angsty headcanon

You just had to make me do angst, huh?

Wanda worries about Doll, not only in the day to day, but what lasting harm she might be causing. These days, she stays pretty firm in her decisions; it's too late to change, but sometimes in fleeting moments, Wanda thinks about the gravity of what she's done.

When she scans Doll's brain now, all she can see is what she put there, no trace of the gentle-hearted shop girl she first met. Some things still linger, like the sweet tooth the size of her head or the genuine admiration she had for Wanda even before they'd crossed paths... As weeks and months go by, Doll's thoughts require less and less control until everything naturally is just this house and the false Westview surrounding it.

Doll would still exist without the hex's protection, but Wanda has no idea what the real world would do to her- if she could actually cope with what reality was or if she'd simply crack and shatter to cope with such a drastic shift.

Natasha worries too, warned Wanda early on that all of this was wrong, how unpredictable the effects would be, that no matter what Wanda told herself, keeping this hex up was killing her. But if Wanda has to add Doll to her list of losses, she's as good as dead anyway.

#a lot more long headcanons haha #I'll do the rest tomorrow #doll house au #innocentdxll #headcanon games

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donkoogrr · 18 days ago

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Jumping on this to reaffirm!

The frustration I have with people who point to the no-killing rule and call it stupid or proof that Batman is a terrible father is just. So much. Like, I get what they're talking about but I don't think they understand the full picture.

Because have they really thought about what would happen if Batman killed? And not just in the superhero world - We've seen those universes and timelines, there's like 30+ comic stories that play with the concept.

But in the civilian world. If Batman kills? If the symbol of not killing people kills someone?

That's permission. To engage in their own idea of vigilante justice.

And those people aren't going to bother doing the detective work. They're going to target whichever minority pisses them off the most the most. Or they'll seek out situations where they can lethally "defend themselves" Rittenhouse-style.

That Bat symbol would become something for civilians to fear. Is this one going to help or harm a loved one going through a mental health episode? Is this one going to let me surrender or am I about to die? Will they see me as worth saving? Worth protecting? Worth living? These unknown people with no oversight and no accountability, they would be terrifying.

----------

All that being said, Cass and Jason could absolutely get along (or at least be nodding coworkers) under certain circumstances. They clearly have different philosophies, and frankly that's healthy. It's good for debate and conversation and I think they could each understand where the other is coming from even if they can't personally subscribe to the other's beliefs.

In modern comics and a lot of fic, Jason is actively choosing non-lethal actions despite his personal beliefs. It's something of a truce, to keep the main Bats out of his territory and in exchange they aren't coming down on him for his controlled crime experiment. He gets to use their resources and can call for back-up. They also get his expertise as back-up and get to know he's still alive.

Compromise! Sometimes, if you want to not be sent to jail by your estranged family, you have to stop decapitating people. Even if they're people who do bad things. Find an alternative, hot stuff.

To anyone who even thinks that Cass and Jason would get along

#cassandra cain #batgirl #DC #dc comics #Batman #jason todd #the no-kill rule #headcanon #philosophy in comics

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archived-kin · 4 years ago

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you go to a devildom zoo and a penguin attempts to seduce you (the brothers are not happy)

note from kin: this was meant to be out way sooner but covid-19 and a whole lot of catch-up coursework said no to that idea >:(

anyway formatting on mobile is actual ass so let me know if this ends up unreadable!

enjoy, darlings!

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo (mentioned briefly)

pairing(s): demon brothers/reader, penguin/reader (one-sided), a bat also very briefly tries to seduce you

warning(s): reader really loves deadly creatures which i know isn't really a warning but just as a heads up for those who can't relate i guess??? also this is ended up WAY longer than i intended lmao

genre: fluff (but also crack)

oh the pure joy you felt when you found out that there are zoos in the devildom

zoos full of sphinxes, chimeras, hydras, krakens, manticores, basilisks and griffins, but zoos nonetheless

in fact, you’d argue that the fact that the zoos here are full of potentially lethal legendary beasts is even COOLER

so, naturally, you begged lucifer to let you go to one

his response?

“absolutely not, you could be killed.”

well now that’s just unfair

there are so many things down here in the devildom that could kill you! the heat, the food, the dragons just wandering around in the skies, your fellow students at rad, belphie, not sleeping enough, the stupidly narrow staircases, lucifer himself! in fact, you’d argue that lucifer has already come close to killing you more times than any of those creatures at the zoo

unfortunately that was entirely was the wrong thing to say because now lucifer’s gone all broody on you

you just KNOW he’s gonna spend all of next week either drowning himself in work or sulking in the music room if you don’t cheer him up quickly

so you guess it’s time to pull out the puppy eyes and hope that they work

spoiler alert: they do. you also end up being stuck in lucifer’s arms for about five hours afterwards as he cuddles out all of his negative thoughts, but that’s not a bad thing, so you’re not complaining

the next day, however, you are BACK on your bullshit

and you are back with a vengeance!

you are getting a trip to that zoo whether lucifer likes it or not and you will not rest until you succeed

your first idea is to go to diavolo for help because.... he’s diavolo and lucifer would listen to that demon before anyone, including himself

unfortunately that doesn’t work because diavolo is out on a business trip to the human world with barbatos

(which means your butler buddy, who could probably have helped you make your case, is also out of the picture)

you suppose that you could try getting simeon in on the scheme but you’re pretty sure he’d end up making it worse with his insatiable penchant for teasing lucifer

your final solution?

cry

and it worked a treat too!

lucifer is just a sucker for his human and he doesn’t like seeing them sad okay :((

he finally agrees to let you go to the big zoo just north of RAD since it’s directly under diavolo’s jurisdiction, but he also makes you promise that you’ll take at least one brother with you

(he’s hoping you’ll choose him)

but then you uno reverse card him!

jokes on you, lucifer, your human wants a family day out!!

lucifer would be lying if his heart didn’t swell slightly when you proclaimed you wanted all the brothers to come with you so that you could all spend the day together having fun

although you may have just made a mistake because now lucifer is going to do everything in his power to make sure the day goes perfectly, and if that means smiting the rude demon in line in front of you, then what about it?

(luckily you stop him from the killing someone before you’re even inside, but it was a close call)

the moment the eight of you step into the zoo satan whisks you off to look at the devildom equivalent of big cats

which means the sphinxes and manticores first, then the giant fire-breathing tigers

he’s planning to have a nice heart-to-heart conversation with you while the two of you stroll along the exhibit, but then you both get distracted by how cool the animals are

so the two of you just end up dragging each other back and forth to look at one creature after another

not the romantic scene satan initially had in mind, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t also absolutely perfect

holding your hand while you talk enthusiastically about how majestically that manticore leapt thirty feet into the air with your entire face lighting up like the most beautiful lantern in the world? stunning. outstanding. he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

meanwhile, back at the entrance, levi is sulking, mammon is fuming, beel is already stuffing himself with overpriced food stall delicacies, belphie has crawled under a bench to nap while he waits for you to come back, asmo is taking pictures with the extra long-legged flamingo billboard, and lucifer is so preoccupied with trying to figure out just how the hell the walking system here works that he hasn’t even noticed that you and satan have just disappeared into the void

in the end the remaining brothers split off into pairs, all agreeing that whoever is the first to find you and satan will get to have some one-on-one time with you next

and, drumroll please, that lucky pair turns out to be... beel and belphie!

(really they have an unfair advantage though since beel can smell out anyone he knows from a mile away)

meanwhile satan has just spent just about all of the grimm he brought with him on a hideously overpriced plush version of the manticore you were so fascinated with

but the smile on your face when he gives it to you?? the LIGHT that exudes from you when you declare that the plush’s name is now greenie because it has green eyes just like his?? worth it. absolutely worth it.

but uh oh, the moment is soon to be gone, because guess who’s here?

beel and belphie can’t let satan have all your attention! beel is a little more forgiving, but belphie is going to make sure he’s the first to get a kiss today, anti-lucifer club alliance be damned!

he’s not going to admit that of course. instead, he’s going to very subtly hip-bump satan out of the way so that he can hold your hand instead (beel can have the other hand, but if he tries to pull you away, he’s getting what-for.)

normally satan would be pretty miffed by this, but hey, he’s in a good mood right now and he doesn’t want to spoil the day by getting pissy, so he lets the twins get away with it. younger sibling privilege, am I right?

belphie wants to take you to his particular favourite exhibit here, the giant carnivorous cattle with horns the size of chair legs

beel, on the other hand, suggests that maybe you don’t want to see a gargantuan mammal tear apart a giant piece of meat that may or may not have been sourced from a human graveyard (the giant carnivorous cattle are picky, okay? at least they’re not murdering people for the meat)

you, however, are absolutely fearless

besides, what harm can a giant carnivorous cattle with horns the side of chair legs do to you when it’s being kept behind six inches of hellfire trench, with three of the devildom’s most powerful demons close by to swoop in to your rescue?

beel begrudgingly agrees to go see the giant carnivorous cattle, but makes you promise to stay slightly behind him so that he can jump to defend you should they get out of hand

your big strong demon standing in front of you, protecting you as you get to look at a super cool and also deadly creature? you are absolutely on board with this.

(satan is slightly concerned by your willingness to go near creatures that could tear you to pieces in a second, but if he gets to see you smile like that again then... well, what can he say, he’s a simp)

so off you go!

the giant carnivorous cattle are AWESOME. you get to watch a trio of them eat what appears to be an entire car in, like, two seconds, tops, and they don’t even look bothered by the metal disappearing down their massive gullets.

(you ask belphie in an undertone why the cattle are eating cars if they’re carnivorous. his response is that even giant carnivorous cattle need their minerals, so the zookeepers feed them a bunch of the metal stuff you get in human scrapyards.)

(sounds like an RSPCA violation to you...)

you’re practically tumbling over the fence as you lean forward to get a proper look at them and their adorable tiny wings, so belphie ends up having to pull you back

just as he does it, however, he has a very bright idea

so instead of gently tugging you back as he’d originally planned, he practically yanks you into him, conveniently slipping your hand out of beel’s in the process

listen, it’s not that belphie resents letting beel hold hands with you at the same time as him. a demon’s just gotta get his hugs sometimes, alright?

of course you’re a little miffed about being so violently yoinked, so you’re about to turn around and give belphie a piece of your mind, but then he pulls you close to him and nuzzles his nose into your hair

how are you supposed to scold him for that???

he seems so content and he’s even doing that adorable little purring thing demons do when they’re happy that he never does in public

you can’t just pull out of his arms! it’s probably illegal!!!!!

belphie gets a pass for being cute this time. only this time. no more.

(as an aside, this sort of thing happens at least once a day because belphie’s a whiny little baby who can’t go twelve hours without your love)

anyway now beel looks a little downtrodden which you are not having

your solution? wait until belphie lets go of you on his own and then you can give beel a hug of his own.

unfortunately belphie doesn’t seem interested in separating from you

luckily you don’t end up having to deal with that, because then satan steps in

partially because he feels bad for beel and also partially because okay that’s enough touching now, know your boundaries

which means it’s BEEL’S TURN TO SHINE

does this demon want you to die? because that is what’s going to happen if he keeps being so friggin sweet

first of all he buys you a bunch of treats from the nearby food stalls with his own money and offers every single one to you

is he on drugs? is that what’s happening here? what happened to the avatar of gluttony who ate first and asked questions later???

of course you aren’t going to be so cruel as to take every single one of the treats he’s offering when you can physically hear his stomach rumble as he holds them out to you

instead, you take a handful or so and tell him to eat the rest himself because he deserves it

beel almost tears up he’s so happy he loves you so much in that moment

some may say he’s being dramatic but beel says that every moment with you is a treasure and he has every right to be emotional

belphie is a teensy bit pissed that satan simp-policed him when he’s just as whipped but it’s beel so... he’ll stay down

satan, meanwhile, starts snapping pictures of you at every opportunity, most of them candids, to save to the album he has dedicated especially to you, and also to send to the brothers’ group chat to brag

asmo responds to each one with even more heart emojis than the last, levi always has some kind of jealous comment to make, lucifer stays silent (satan knows he’s saving the photos to his own gallery to gaze affectionately at later though), and mammon just keeps sending angry stickers and then quickly adding that they’re not aimed at you but at satan for having the audacity

anyway, the four of you end up leaving the giant carnivorous cow exhibit after spending a few minutes just sitting together on one of the giant benches while you and beel (mostly beel) eat the giant pile of food he purchased

(beel’s not evil so he offers satan and belphie some obviously, but he makes it clear that you’re getting first pick)

beel’s about to ask where you want to head next when

here comes trouble

and make it double

asmo and levi are IN the building (zoo)

levi, having gotten so antsy waiting for you to show up, disregards all subtlety and basically throws himself right at you, scoops you up, and takes off

leaving behind your poor manticore plush, a stunned satan, beel, belphie, and asmo, who immediately starts running after the two of you, shouting ‘hey, that isn’t fair!’

satan, belphie and beel are left to exchange disbelieving looks and attempt to follow

(don't worry about greenie, satan picks him up and vows to keep him safe until he meets up with you again)

meanwhile you are being quite literally swept off your feet

“levi. levi stop i can walk. levi i’m coming to aquarium with you. you don’t need to pull me. levi i’m getting a little dizzy over here. levi please”

luckily you are saved from your impending doom (because, realistically, there is no way mr hasn’t-exercised-in-several-millennia can carry someone halfway across the biggest zoo in all three realms without tripping) by asmo

now, asmo does not like exercise. it makes him all hot and sweaty (and not in the sexy way) and it’s just... not it. however, because it’s you, he will make an exception just this once.

so he grits his teeth, pins back his long-ass fringe with a cute butterfly clip, and runs for it

normally jealous-mode levi will not stop for anything, but a running asmo in the right situation is even more terrifying than a quiet angry lucifer, and a quiet angry lucifer normally means multiple people are getting burnt alive

so what does levi do? naturally, he stops in his tracks, lets out a scream of such a high frequency that he disturbs a flock of deathseye hawks nesting in a tree nearby, and almost drops you on your head

asmo immediately stops running, takes a moment to dab off any sweat on his forehead with his dainty little pink handkerchief, and lets his hair back down

because he is not exercising for a second longer than he has to

anyway, now that you’re not being torpedo’d halfway across the world, you can finally take a second to breathe and actually ask levi what he wants

he goes pink and stares shame-facedly at the ground and refuses to say a word, especially with avatar of lust ‘i like teasing my brothers to the point where it might be sexual harassment’ asmodeus Right There behind you

but you want your purple boy to be honest!! which means it is puppy dog eyes time again

finally, staring determinedly off to the side, levi mumbles, “you promised we’d go see the fish...”

oh your poor heart

you’re inclined to start pressing kisses all over his face, but you just know he will immediately blow up on the spot if you do in such a public area, so you settle on giving him a subtle hug and reassuring him that yes, you will go see the fish with him

now, asmo’s a hoe for attention, we all know that, but even he has his moments

so, making you promise to go see the birds of arcadia with him later, he departs with a wave and a very sneaky kiss planted on your cheek to let you and levi have your time together

thanks asmo

so off you and levi go!

the aquarium FUCKS

sorry that was too strong

the aquarium is GORGEOUS

it’s got this beautiful deep blue-green ambient lighting, and there are enormous tanks for the giant sharks that essentially make up the walls and ceiling

and there are SO MANY FISH!

rainbow fish, neon pink fish, fish with tiny markings that make them look like they have moustaches, fish with scales that change colour every five seconds, glow-in-the-dark fish, fish the size of a small car

literally any kind of fish you can imagine? they HAVE THEM

you’re almost too distracted to notice levi tugging aggressively on your sleeve

when you do, though, he quickly ushers you over into the tunnel exhibit, where the dolphins live

devildom dolphins look pretty similar to regular human dolphins, except they live in what’s essentially hydrochloric acid and are pitch black in colour with bright purple eyes

you’re pretty confused as to why levi wanted to drag you in here so quickly - you’d have thought he’d go for the goldfish, or the venomous water serpents, or even the special hydra exhibit they’ve got for a limited time

but then levi pulls you over to the very edge, taps his fingers lightly on the glass, and... starts clicking and chirruping?

you’re about to very concernedly ask if he’s feeling alright when something amazing happens

the giant male with scars all over it who, according to one of the signs along the tunnel, spends most of his time skulking as far away from the glass as possible and will eat any demon who comes too close, swims over to him

then, wearing the gentlest little smile, levi turns to you and tells you to say hello to captain

you almost yell out of sheer excitement, but you manage to collect yourself

instead, what comes out is an aggressively whispered:

"hello!! hi, captain!! it's lovely to meet you!! i love you!!!!"

and captain loves you too!!!!!

he swims right up to you and butts his nose against the glass

well you can't not immediately press your face against the glass as well so it looks like you're bumping noses with him can you???

so you do exactly that

all the while going "hello!! hello!! you're such a pretty boy!! what a handsome boy!!"

levi almost cries because you are just too perfect

you love captain? and captain loves you too? he seriously has to hold himself back from dropping to one knee and proposing right then and there

after taking a moment to get his heart to calm down, he translates what you're saying to captain, who immediately starts clicking back

and guess what??? captain says you're the prettiest!!!!!!!!! you’re the handsomest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now you're going to cry

you and levi spend ages in that tunnel together, just talking to captain and holding hands and exchanging little kisses now and then

levi is so in his element here in the aquarium that he isn't even as nervous and stuttery with his affection as usual

it's almost jarring, but are you complaining? absolutely not

when and levi emerge from the aquarium, both a little giddy and still enthusiastically talking about all the other creatures you said hi to after captain (who you are most definitely coming back to visit sometime), asmo is waiting outside so impatiently that he's getting a lot of irritated looks for his aggressive foot-tapping

levi wants to go see the reptiles now, but then asmo plays the 'i let you get away with having alone time, now let me have mine, bitch’ card

and to be honest levi's pretty sure that even self-proclaimed romance expert asmo can't top the mini-aquarium date you've just had with him, sooooo...

buying you a little keychain replica of captain just to get a final one over his brother, he bids you goodbye and goes off to the reptile house on his own, pulling on his headphones on his way so that he won't accidentally end up talking to some stranger again

it is now asmo's time to shine!!!

and so off the two of you head off to the birds of arcadia exhibit

however, it seems that asmo doesn’t have much interest in the birds themselves apart from for taking pictures with them for his devilgram

the birds are beautiful indeed, but guess what else is also beautiful? here is a short and concise list:

1. holding asmo’s hand

2. giving asmo kisses

3. receiving kisses from asmo

4. giving asmo hugs

5. receiving hugs from asmo

6. cuddling with asmo

7. sleeping with asmo (in the literal sense)

8. sleeping with asmo (in the not so litera—)

this has been a short and concise list of things that are very beautiful and you should absolutely do right this second (not ghost-written by asmodeus, avatar of lust, not at all)

anyway, it’s kind of hard to concentrate on that adorable neon striped pecker sitting close by to you when asmo is draping himself all over you like a damn scarf

it’s cute! it’s cute. but.... the birds...... you want to see the birds.........

in the end the two of you settle on a compromise: asmo will let you have some time to just look at the pretty birds as long as you keep holding his hand, and then the two of you will go and get matching face paint together

asmo’s kinda pouty about it at first, but he quickly changes his mind when he sees how enamoured you are by the birds

you really are too cute!! he just wants to scoop you up and cover you with kisses, but he’s already promised to leave that for when you aren’t in the middle of a busy public space

(he definitely isn’t the slightest bit jealous of them because he wants to be the only beautiful thing that you look at like that. he knows he’s prettier than those birds.)

(but, like... he’s still gonna puff up his chest a bit when he catches one edging just a bit too close to you. he may be the avatar of lust, but he does have his moments of jealousy as well… even if they’re at blooming birds.)

finally, when you’ve decided that you’ve had your fill of gorgeous birds, asmo immediately pulls you off to the face-painting booth

all the designs the demons managing it have come up with are pretty beautiful, so he’s not bothered about which one to get as long as you two are matching

which means you get to choose!!!!

at first he thinks you’ll ask for the super popular one that imitates the feather pattern of the most popular bird of arcadia, the lesser spotted spectra

but then you turn to look at him, think for a moment, turn back to the demon doing the painting, and ask if they do custom designs

asmo can only watch on, confused, as you and the demon whisper conspiratorially back and forth for five minutes

then the demon has started painting, and the cheeky little grin on your face is making him a little worried that you’ve deliberately asked for a really stupid design just to mess with him

but then, as the strokes and colours all come together, he realises something that might make him a little teary eyed. just a little bit.

the design you’ve asked for just so happens to be the gorgeous, swirling pattern of the avatar of lust’s pact mark

and it’s not just that, either. he takes a closer look and realises that the little flowers added around the edges are his favourite kind of rose as well

and THEN the demon doing the painting turns to him and tells him with a smirk that, by your suggestion, the paint he’s using has been enchanted so that it goes rainbow when you kiss the person who’s wearing it

oh, he really should have had more faith in you! this is even better than anything he could come up with!!!

(he takes about a million photos of you while he’s waiting for his own turn and sends at least a quarter of them to the group chat)

asmo is practically vibrating with excitement as he sits there getting his own face painted

and if you think he doesn’t drag you off to some secluded corner for a good half an hour just pressing little kisses all over your face and giggling when he pulls away and your face paint has gone all the colours of the rainbow, you are severely wrong

of course, he wants kisses as well. this is a give-and-take system and he wants just as much as he gives!!!

unfortunately, there is one disadvantage to spending so much time just canoodling

the others haven’t heard from you or asmo in a good hour and they are beginning to PANIC

mammon in particular is practically shooting off the walls and just constantly spamming you with ‘WHERE ARE YOU’ and ‘COME BACK’ messages

asmo doesn’t want you to go but he’s also kind of running off a high right now so he decides it’s okay and sends you off you find mammon with a cheery wave (and a love struck sigh once you’re out of earshot)

you find mammon just walking in circles in the communal area outside the cannibalistic not-zebras exhibit

he almost bursts into tears when you come up to him and tap him on the shoulder because it feels like he hasn’t seen you for what feels like hours and hours and he just,,, he missed you okay

after five minutes of him just furiously rubbing his eyes and refusing to admit why, he gathers himself and asks you what you want to go see

you have to think for a good long while because, while you’ve been to plenty of zoos in the human world and know by now the sorts of animals most of them have, devildom creature species are unpredictable

you could jokingly say ‘hyper-aware empathetic goose’ and they’d probably have one

but then you have a look around you and see the big map

and what is the first thing you see on that map?

‘vampiric venomous bats’

oh fuck yeah

mammon is a little concerned because the vvbs are known to randomly swoop down and attack the people who walk into their exhibit

he knows you can protect yourself!! but when you’re being swarmed by a horde of more than fifty giant bat creatures with enormous teeth full of venom that can kill you in seconds, there’s really not much you can do

and there is no expressing the amount of absolute misery that would descend on him if he let you get hurt

so instead, you make a compromise and decide to go to scheduled talk on the vvbs in ten minutes instead

normally mammon finds these zoo talks boring as all hell, but heck, if he gets to hold your hand for a whole forty five minutes without having to make an excuse to do so, he’s down

so off you go to the talk!

you’re having the absolute time of your life as the keeper shows you one of the more lethargic bats and describes exactly how it paralyses its prey with high frequency screeches and then kills it with a single bite to the neck

mammon, on the other hand, is honestly kind of spooked

that bat may be half-asleep, but it’s got the eyes of a murderer

so what if he shuffles a little closer to you every time the bat moves?? it’s not like he’s scared of it or anything! no way!

(please hold him or he may cry)

but then... DISASTER strikes

the keeper looks out across her bright-eyed audience, listening attentively to her explanation of how the vvb detects prey through the slightest vibrations in the air... and asks if there are any volunteers who want to hold it

everyone goes quiet. they’re all looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact like students who don’t want to be picked to answer a question in class. they may be demons, but even they know danger when they see it.

except...

mammon is just commenting to himself in amusement about how quiet everyone’s gotten when he looks to the side and practically feels his heart freeze

your hand has flown straight up into the air, and before he can pull it down, the keeper has called on you

mammon may be just as terrified of that bat as everyone else, but he isn’t going to let you go near that thing without him to protect you

the keeper looks a little befuddled as to why one of the most powerful demons in the devildom is following you up to the front like a very attached duckling, but luckily she goes along with it

first she gives you a super thick dragonhide glove to wear, just in case the bat gets violent

then she attaches the little lead around one of the bat’s feet to the end of the glove, so that even if it tries to attack an uncovered spot on your body, it’ll just get pulled back

(meanwhile, mammon, standing just behind you, is just barely holding back from bursting into demon form and wrapping himself around you to protect you)

and so, as you watch in anticipation and mammon in terror, the keeper slowly moves the bat from her arm to yours

at first it just kind of sits there and blinks and... doesn’t really do much

the keeper, however, seems very happy about this

“it means she already trusts you!!!”

and she tells you to try a simple little trick

“just flick your wrist up and she should swing down to hang from your hand!”

mammon is very pointedly whispering to you that that’s enough, you’ve held the bat, come on let’s get out of here

but you are determined to continue putting your life in danger, it seems, because you do exactly what the keeper says

and it works!!!

piki, which you have learned is the name of this particular bat, lets out a quiet squeak and drops to hang from one of the enormous fingers of your glove

you immediately go ‘wooAAAAAAAAAH’

mammon almost bites his tongue in half because of how on edge he is, but it turns out that he doesn’t need to be

because the bat turns to you, blinks once, and suddenly puffs up around the neck

you panic a little at first, but the keeper seems incredibly excited

“she’s displaying!!!!!!! she likes you!!!!!!!!!!! she sees you as a potential mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

okay mammon is not having any of that

he is not about to be upstaged by a goddamn bat

and so the instant the bat and glove is removed from you, he grabs you by the hand and charges right out of that room, shouting something about it being urgent

leaving poor piki the vampiric venomous bat squeaking sadly because her new crush is gone

sad :(

now mammon is buying you a giant plush to make up for dragging you away like that

happy! :)

and you KNOW this means a great deal because mammon does not part with his money very easily. in fact, most of the time, one would have to physically threaten him into buying something for them

and the fact that mammon bought you a ridiculously expensive enormous plush that probably dug a pretty big hole in his savings without you even asking??? your heart basically melts on the spot

now you definitely can’t get angry at him for pulling you away so suddenly

so instead the two of you go to see the giant narwhals

you’re fascinated, but mammon is too distracted to even look at the narwhals

he just keeps staring at you looking so happy hugging the giant plush he bought for you so close to yourself with this giant dopey grin on his face

(s i m p)

he’s shaken out of his infatuated daze when he hears a camera shutter directly behind him

at first he whips around ready to fight because he’s expecting levi or asmo, but then he looks up slightly and comes face to face with none other than his beloved older brother

lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the tiny grin on his face as he very slowly raises his phone and takes a photo of mammon’s half shocked and half irritated face

mammon is so dumbfounded by how much kinder lucifer looks when he smiles like that. he doesn’t even recover in time to tell you who’s just showed up - you end up noticing by yourself

you should have given lucifer a bit of warning because the moment you turn around and and greet him with such a bright and happy smile on his face he is DECEASED

all you and mammon see is his cheeks going pink but let me tell you this man is screeching like a trapped possum on the inside

lucifer may act like he’s a Big Important Unfeeling Demon but everyone else knows that this man would quite literally bring you the moon if you asked (he probably wouldn’t be able to pull down the entire moon, but damn him if he isn’t going to try)

he has to stay silent for a moment because he knows that if he speaks his voice is going to crack and mammon absolutely would NOT let him forget that for the rest of his long life

once he’s managed to get his puddle of a heart back to a state where he can speak without sounding like the physical embodiment of being smitten, he’s quick to offer to take you to the nearby penguin exhibit

he’s paid attention to the messages he’s been receiving periodically from the other brothers throughout the day about the things you’ve been getting up to with them, and he has seen a pattern in the sort of creatures you like the best

that pattern is: the more deadly, the better, with bonus points if it still looks cute

and lucifer has been to this zoo enough times to know most of the best exhibits pretty well (especially since diavolo’s taste in deadly creatures is very similar to yours, so he knows that any of the demon prince’s favourites will probably end up pretty high in your list as well)

therefore he knows that the devildom’s penguins are about two and a half meters tall, with millions of retractable fangs in their beaks and venom sacs in their necks that they can spray so violently and quickly that they’ve become known as ‘venom machine guns’

and you are ALL ABOUT THAT

you’re so excited by the concept of these penguins that you don’t think twice before tucking your arm into lucifer’s outstretched one and following him off to the exhibit

leaving mammon pouting furiously behind the two of you

now, while the avatar of greed doesn’t dare to directly interfere with his older brother, he most certainly dares to inconvenience him

what does that mean? it means that mammon is immediately whipping out his DDD and shooting a quick message to the group chat specifically made without lucifer to let everyone know what’s going down

and, within ten minutes, every single one of the other brothers are heading right for the penguin exhibit as well

lucifer is in the middle of listening to you excitedly talk about piki the bat when he feels something hit him in the back

he turns to see, with great dismay, that the six other brothers have started following behind the two of you, and have begun taking turns throwing things at him. satan doesn’t stop even when he realises that he’s been spotted.

lucifer feels a vein pop in his cheek when satan manages to nail him right in the middle of the forehead with a screwed-up ball of paper

unfortunately for lucifer (and fortunately for the other six brothers), you quickly take notice of the group following behind you

the avatar of pride can only watch in dismay as you call out for the others to come join you to see the penguins

well, obviously, the others are coming now that you’re inviting them over!!

asmo immediately jumps to give you a little kiss on the nose just so he can see your face light up in all the colours of the rainbow again

(which earns several surprised noises from the other brothers since, while they knew from the pictures from asmo that the two of you had gotten your faces painted, they didn’t know the paint did that)

belphie subtly shuffles up behind you to give you a little prize figurine he spent way too long trying to win on one of the zoo’s mini claw-machine games, while beel attempts to find a stealthy way of sneaking the bag of treats he’s carefully sourced for you into your pockets, but ends up giving up on that and just hands you the bag instead

levi is still on a bit of a high from the mini aquarium date, so his face immediately goes fifty shades of red when he sees you, but instead of running off like he usually does when he’s flustered, he just offers you the WIDEST smile

satan is a little disheartened when he realises just how much bigger the plushie mammon got for you is than greenie... but who cares!! greenie is small and cute!! he most definitely isn’t puffing up slightly like an indignant owl when he sees you hug that plushie to yourself like it’s the softest thing in the world!! no sir!!!!!!

mammon is being kinda whiny about lucifer barging in and ruining your one and one time together, but then satan reminds him that they’ve all just interrupted lucifer’s one on one time with you before it could even really begin, and also points out (a little saltily) that, judging by the giant plushie in your arms, he’s already spent more than enough time with you

(luckily mammon isn’t exactly perceptive so he doesn’t pick up on it or else satan would be in for one hell of a teasing)

you, meanwhile, don’t miss the way that lucifer not so subtly presses himself closer to you as the eight of you are walking to see the penguins

so close that your arms are physically touching

it’s not like lucifer to be this clingy (well, clingy by his standards, anyway), but you aren’t going to bring it up considering that he would probably immediately move away out of ~pride~ if you did

unfortunately the other brothers don’t need you to point out lucifer’s behaviour to immediately start attempting to sabotage him

by the time you all get to the penguin exhibit, you’re surrounded completely by all seven of them, and they appear to be executing a genuine attempt to crush you if the pressure on all sides is anything to go off of

looking on the bright side of things, though, the penguins are SO CUTE

sure, they’re about nine feet tall with beaks full of millions of tiny serrated teeth and very toxic-looking feet-claws. but they’re ADORABLE

you love them so much!!!!!! but now the brothers are being big MEANIES and aren’t letting you get close to the fence

“those penguins can shoot venom up to twenty feet, we’re not taking any chances” so WHAT you just want to see the goddamn penguins!!!!!!!! you’ve survived countless near-death experiences down here, you can manage a bit of venom!

eventually your very pointed complaining finally gets most of them to relent (asmo is still against it, but majority vote says you get to get closer to the penguins, so HA) and you are allowed to go right up to barrier that separates the attraction from the spectators

you’re absolutely delighted, but the brothers quickly realise that their concerns about this whole thing were not unfounded

because that fucking penguin over there is totally giving you the googly eyes

levi is the first to notice - as the general of hell’s navy, he has a natural connection to all animals of the seas, even the ones that are only semi aquatic

satan notices soon after him - he’s been to plenty of ‘taming dangerous creatures’ club meetings, and he knows how to recognise attraction in animals

you yourself are pretty clueless until you suddenly notice that one of the flock is now sliding beak-first on its belly towards you

levi silently hopes you’ll be scared into leaving, but instead you just lean right up to the barrier (lucifer hurriedly grabs you by the arm before you fall over it) and whisper-shriek “hi baby!!!!!!!!!!!”

oh the brothers did not like that at all

but the penguin seems absolutely THRILLED

you’re pretty sure you see its eyes light up. like physically light up, not in the metaphorical sense - its eyes glow

(do devildom penguins understand human/demon speech?? you could swear from the penguin’s reaction to your greeting that they do, but when you ask satan about it later, he just scowls and shakes his head, proclaiming that devildom penguins have ‘a brain smaller than a tangerine and the motor function of a slightly bent paper clip’)

(damn satan you didn’t have to do the penguins like that)

anyway, this penguin, now thoroughly convinced that you are its destiny, hops to its feet, nods its head several times, then proceeds to start making the weirdest noise at you

you don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like a laser beam has been combined with a motorbike combined with a vacuum cleaner combined with levi when his favourite idol group releases a new song combined with that godawful screeching violin satan has been playing on repeat for two weeks just to annoy lucifer combined with, i don’t know, a turbo-charged printer or something. and then the whole thing’s been shoved through a dubstep filter.

it’s such a rattling sound that asmo, mammon, levi and belphie clap their hands to their ears, beel frowns so hard his entire face squishes inwards, satan recoils so far backwards that he’s about two feet further away from you than he was at first, and even lucifer actually physically flinches

(short break for a personal headcanon of mine but hear me out here: this man probably listens to nothing but full professional orchestra classical all day. he absolutely has that thing where his ears are sensitive to poorly played notes or just harsh grating sounds in general. you know, like how lan wangji and lan xichen in mdzs are physically repulsed by the sound of bad music? yeah that)

you wince slightly, but the pain in your eardrums is overpowered by your thrill about the fact that this penguin is actually talking to you

you smile wide and reply, leaning right up to the banister, “hello!! hi!! it's nice to meet you too!!”

if the penguin was happy before then it’s absolutely over the MOON now

it makes the weird honking sound again, nodding its head furiously at you, all the while shuffling closer and closer to the barrier

you are positively delighted by this development, but each of the demon brothers seem to be taking the penguin’s approach as a personal threat both to them and to you

beel’s expression is steadily scrunching up more and more in displeasure as each second passes, asmo’s glare could probably boil the penguin alive, and you’re pretty sure you just heard levi hiss at it

you turn around to try to tell them off for getting jealous over a penguin out of all things, but they are just not listening to reason

the penguin meanwhile is desperately trying to get your attention back by nodding even more frantically and honking so loudly that lucifer actually reels back a little

you try to turn back to it but then belphie decides that he’s going to shove his way right between you and the barrier and block the penguin’s line of sight

the penguin immediately sets up an extremely loud complaint, but belphie refuses to give it any rope at all

at this point the other brothers begin catching onto what he’s doing

mostly because of his weird twin telepathy thing, beel is the first to join belphie’s quest, with his giant frame being substantially more effective as a barrier, while asmo and satan work together to not-so-subtly start ushering the entire group backwards and away from the penguin

you’re attempting to protest, but lucifer is practically shouting over you about how interesting and fun you’ll find the giant giraffe exhibit, which just so happens to be on the other side of the zoo

the penguin is positively screeching at this point, but a moment later is suddenly goes silent. for a moment you’re afraid that one of the brothers have lost their nerve and actually killed it, but then you manage to spot it sliding away again around beel’s massive shoulder

turns out that, though his brothers don’t seem to care about his status and power placement at all, the avatar of greed’s glare is enough to silence even the most passionate of penguins

while the brothers exchange triumphant looks as they lead you away from the penguin exhibit, though, you’re more than a little upset by this whole ordeal.

the disrespect? abundant. the lack of sympathy? rampant. the audacity? sheer.

you make your displeasure very clear by scrunching up your face, crossing your arms, and refusing to respond to any of the brothers when they try to ask you something

goddammit, it was supposed to be a good thing that they saved you from the so obviously dangerous penguin, but now you’ve got them feeling bad

in the end, though, you still can’t stay mad at your boys for long

they all apologise (well, all of them except lucifer, whose pride will forever be his downfall, and belphie, who genuinely doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly wrong), and you can’t bring yourself to keep dampening the mood

so, with a short scolding that’s really little more than a light slap to the wrist to remind the boys that you don’t need to be protected from everything like some sort of delicate glass case despite how much they might think that’s the case, you’re back to your previous happy self

thank fuck

the rest of the day goes smoothly! the eight of you do indeed go to see the giant giraffes, which you actually get to feed, and beel somehow manages to knock down an entire row of rigged carnival targets to get you a pretty wooden carving of a super cool dragon

(you’re still not entirely sure how that happened but it was probably the sheer willpower)

you convince all of the brothers to take about three hundred photos with you in the cheesy green screen safari booths (it was mostly levi, lucifer and belphie who needed convincing, since beel and satan weren’t too fussed about it either way, and mammon and asmo were downright thrilled to do so)

lucifer buys the whole group matching keychains, despite the fact that they were pretty basic wood-and-plastic affairs but still cost a good fifty grimm each

(you’ve noticed that he seems to like doing that, considering the harrison porter keychain you’ve still got from that trip up to the human world back during the whole body swap fiasco)

he gets himself a fire-breathing peacock, mammon gets a gold-hoarding crow, levi gets a sea serpent, satan gets a good old regular cat, asmo gets a lesser spotted spectra, beel gets a manticore (since they’re known to eat more than three times their body mass on good days), belphie gets a giant carnivorous cow, and he begrudgingly lets you pick out the giant penguin design - as an apology for his actions earlier.

(you don’t fail to notice the slightly irritated looks levi and satan in turn both send the keychain as you tuck it safely into your pocket)

all in all

a lovely day out

10/10 would do again

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writertitan · 4 years ago

Text

Regimens

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 2834

themes: modern au, established relationship vibes, just so much fluff, it’s ridiculous how cute i tried to make this

requested by anon

“No.”

“Levi, please-”

“No.”

With a huff, you set down the brush you liked to use to apply your clay masks, and internally debated if a pout and some more pleading would entice Levi into just giving in and letting you do your skincare routine on him. You had no idea why he was so against the idea; if anything, Levi loved taking care of himself. Sometimes, he was a little too high maintenance. You’d been so convinced he would actually like joining in on your skincare routine. On your own face, the clay mask was already coated on with a fuzzy headband keeping your hair out of it. You’d gotten the idea to also try to get Levi in on it, but to no avail.

You tried again, after deciding that it would do some good to bring out the pout.

“Levi, I swear you’ll like it-”

“I’m not gonna let you put mud on my face, idiot,” he deadpanned, and you whined.

“It’s not mud! And it’s good for your skin!”

“Not doing it.”

“Ugh!” you cried out and slumped back against your couch, crossing your arms over your chest. Clearly, he was being stubborn. But you could negotiate. You brought your legs up onto the couch and nudged his thigh with your foot gently, frowning when he refused to look at you and instead kept his gaze on the TV.

“Fine, no clay mask. How about a sheet mask? And then my usual routine?”

“All of that skincare shit you buy doesn’t even work,” Levi said bluntly, finally peeking at you out of the corner of his eye. “It just smells good. You’re better off being smart like me and buying generic lotion that works just fine instead of wasting money buying a million different things.”

“Let me prove you wrong,” you challenged, a gleam in your eye as you lifted your chin defiantly. “Your 3-in-1 shit is abysmal.”

“It’s abysmal that you think I would stoop so low as to buy 3-in-1 anything,” Levi scoffed. “I just don’t throw my money at retinas or whatever the fuck you’re buying.”

“Retinol,” you corrected.

Levi groaned, eyes fully on you now. “It’s kind of insulting, y’know. Are you saying I have bad skin or something? Because it looks and feels fine to me.”

“You have great skin, I just want to show you how I can make it positively glow,” you crowed, trying your best to really sell the experience. You pouted again when Levi stayed quiet, foot prodding against his thigh once more. “Plus, it would be really fun and would mean a lot to me, to let me fuck around with your face for the night.”

The resigned look in his eyes and the sigh he let out told you that you’d won, and you squealed in victory before you leaned in to give him a grateful little peck on the lips.

“Okay, I’ll be right back! I’m gonna use my best stuff on you!” In a flash you were gone, leaving a slightly bewildered Levi on the couch as you rummaged through your collection of skincare. It wasn’t the biggest collection by any means, nor was it very fancy, but you had a little routine going and liked the products you did have.

You settled on the sheet mask for Levi, a new toner you’d been liking, your favorite serum, and your go-to moisturizer. A simple night routine, not wanting to push Levi too far by going all out with a more elaborate regimen. Especially when you were going to force one of your fuzzy headbands upon him. When you returned with your arms full of product, Levi gave you a look that screamed, Good lord what have I gotten myself into?

You spread the products out on the coffee table and then waved your fuzzy headband in his face, which made his eyes flash instantly. He was about to vehemently protest, you could tell, but you were already whining, and about to make a very good case.

“Just do it, Levi! I wouldn’t want to mess up your precious hair.”

At that, Levi simmered down, but there was no shortage of grumbling as you put the headband on him to secure his hair out of his face.

“Okay, since it’s nighttime, this is more of a night routine-”

“You have a day routine and a night routine?” Levi asked, his tone slightly disbelieving, slightly condescending.

You nodded once, not the least bit bothered, and continued explaining. “Since this is a night routine, it’s more about prevention and repair. I’m gonna use the toner first, to prep you for everything else.” You grabbed a cotton ball and carefully dotted some drops of toner into it, bringing it up to Levi’s face. Slowly, you dabbed the product into his face, ignoring the very steely gaze that was searing into your face. Still, Levi remained quiet and let you do all the work, his eyes on your face the entire time. You, on the other hand, morphed your expression into one of concentration, but you were careful not to make too much facial movement - your mask was slowly stiffening up and you didn’t want it to crack.

You ripped open the package of the sheet mask, gingerly pressing it onto Levi’s face. He winced at the slight cold of it, but otherwise stayed still as you adjusted it on his face. It took everything in you not to grin at this new imagery of your boyfriend; wearing a fuzzy headband, sheet mask on, a lethal stare in his eyes...he looked absolutely precious.

After ensuring Levi’s mask was in place, you snuggled into his side, busy on your phone while you looked at your timer. You’d set one for 20 minutes after applying your mask, and there were about 15 minutes left - still a good amount of time to let his mask do its work.

“We’re gonna leave these on for about 15 minutes,” you explained, setting your phone aside to watch whatever movie Levi was watching. “Then we’ll take them off, rub the excess product into our faces to let it absorb, and then we’ll do the rest.”

“You’re gonna make me wear this stupid headband for 15 minutes?”

“Nope.”

“Good.”

“I’m gonna make you wear it for longer. This is only the first step in getting your skin fresh and radiant.”

If you were anyone else in the world, you’d probably be dead. Good thing Levi was in love with you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Levi reach a hand up and pat his masked cheek, a noticeable grimace appearing on his face.

“It’s slimy.”

“Stop complaining,” you said, turning to him fully. He did the same, immediately snorting at the sight of you.

“Your mask is drying,” he pointed out, a hint of a smirk appearing. “You look kind of terrifying.”

You knew if you quipped back about how he looked, it’d be the end of this little experiment and he wouldn’t be so keen to participate anymore. So, you bit your tongue and made a noncommittal grunt, relaxing into Levi’s body while you watched the (kind of boring) movie. After a handful of minutes, you grabbed your phone and opened your camera app, attempting to capture a selfie of you two. Levi immediately caught on and moved out of the way, shielding his face with a hand.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna let you document this,” he said, shooting you a warning glance. You huffed and, in your own stubbornness, took a picture of yourself with Levi in the background, hand obscuring his face. It was better than nothing, and you settled back into him, smirking when he wrapped a tentative arm around your shoulder.

Levi sighed in relief when the timer on your phone went off, and raised a hand to ruffle your hair before you stood. The clay was uncomfortable on your face now and you gave Levi a look as much as you could through the stiff case.

“Come to the bathroom with me. I’ll wash this off and I’ll show you what to do, okay?”

“What, I can’t just take this off?” Levi asked, following you anyway. You tried your best to be quick with taking off your mask but, as always, rinsing it all off properly took a bit of time. Levi practically tore his sheet mask off and threw it away as you patted your face dry, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You have to pat the excess product into your face so it absorbs,” you told him, and Levi wrinkled his nose.

“It’s slimy.” He voiced his complaint from earlier and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes yet again, but stepped forward to do it for him.

Instantly, Levi’s eyes closed as your fingertips worked the product into Levi’s skin, very gentle with your actions; you were basically treating him to a mini facial massage. In truth, you were also fully taking advantage of the opportunity to touch him like this, slow and gentle in the way your fingers brushed over his forehead, his cheekbones, his jawline.

“There,” you whispered, pulling away and wiping off your face. “We’ll let that settle in.”

Levi grunted but followed you back to your previous place on the couch, and now you were absolutely animated. Once his face was mostly dry, you got to work and grabbed your favorite serum, applying an appropriate amount to your fingers and rubbing them together before pressing them into Levi’s skin again.

“This is serum. It’s kind of like the sheet mask, but this one you use more often. Face masks aren’t for daily use. This one’s my favorite and really evens out my skin tone and helps keep my skin hydrated overnight, especially because you’re supposed to apply before moisturizer to lock it all in, so to speak.” You were mostly rambling, just wanting to keep Levi in the loop to keep his complaining at bay, but he was genuinely listening, which made you smile.

Again, you were pulled into a state of concentration as you blended the serum into Levi’s skin, a smug little smirk playing at your lips when you saw his eyes close and felt him lean into your touch. You made sure to keep your touch steady and soft, taking your time with him as he let you map out his features with your hands.

“This one’s not slimy,” was all he said, eyes still closed. You rubbed soothing circles into his temples, your eyes glancing over his now fully relaxed face. Giving into temptation, you settled into Levi’s lap, which he allowed with no fuss, and you leaned in to press a slow kiss to his mouth as your fingers traced along his jaw, beckoning him closer. He was happy to return your kiss, hands lazily at your hips to keep you in place, and you pulled away too soon to give him a bright smile, already shifting in his lap to turn towards the final step: moisturizer.

Levi’s lips chased you in frustration, latching onto your neck as you applied some moisturizer to your fingers. Pulling away from him, his mouth broke free and he frowned at you for interrupting him, but you needed to gain access to his face again.

“One more thing,” you told him, hands already applying the layer of moisturizer and working it into his skin softly, touch still feathery but deliberate.

“Smells good.” The first compliment he’d given regarding your skincare routine, and you happily accepted it.

Once you were done, you leaned back in his lap to examine your work. Breaking into a grin, you nodded once in satisfaction and cupped Levi’s face in your hands. “I knew it. Your skin is luminous, luminous I tell you!”

Levi scoffed but, to your complete joy, offered a smirk and leaned in to kiss you again, this time short and sweet. You picked up the hand mirror you had brought along and gave it to him, your cocky attitude still present as he examined his face in the mirror.

“See, what’d I tell you? My stuff does make a difference,” you declared, very much milking the moment. Your head definitely got a little bigger seeing Levi study his face with a little bit of surprise, tilting his head this way and that.

“You did good, kid,” he finally said, making you beam at the final judgement he’d given.

“Thanks for letting me do it,” you replied, swiveling around in his lap so your back could press into his chest. You turned your head to press kisses across his cheek, shocked when he pulled away and gave you a stern look.

“You just did all that to my skin, don’t mess it up,” he said, and you honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“Levi,” you whined, leaning in again, but he pulled away even more, this time with a smirk on his face. To placate you, he turned his head and pressed a full kiss to your lips, which you happily accepted, and you sighed happily into it before pulling away. Levi pressed a short kiss to your forehead and grabbed a throw blanket on the arm of the couch to toss over the two of you, settling into your movie night.

The screen turned black for a moment and you gazed at your reflections, and your eyes widened for a moment before you turned to look at your boyfriend again.

“You can take the headband off now,” you reminded him.

Levi only grunted in response. You said nothing and bit back your smile.

He didn’t take it off until you took yours off, right before bed.

Two days later, and you had made plans to spend the night at Levi’s place this time. There was no need to stop by your place beforehand; at this point, you had essentials over there too, and were looking forward to an evening of unwinding with some wine and whatever Levi had cooked up in the kitchen after your long day. It was a shame that the one thing you didn’t have at Levi’s was a dedicated skincare kit, so you could relax with a mask on and pamper yourself just a little. Only the travel-sized stuff you brought in your purse would be used tonight.

Picking out the key Levi had given you to his place out of the jumble of them on your keyring, you pushed it into the lock and turned, giving a half-hearted knock as you stepped in.

“Hi, I’m here!” you called into the apartment, eyes immediately finding Levi in the kitchen, back turned to you as he tended to something on the stove.

“Hey,” he greeted you, not turning around. You didn’t notice the way he paused for a moment. “You’re here early. Wasn’t expecting you for another half hour.”

“Yeah, I finished up early. It was a long day,” you sighed, fully about to start into a summary of your day. But first, you were needing a hello kiss, and walked over to Levi nonchalantly after taking off your shoes and coat to go and get it. You set down your bag on the counter and wrapped your arms around Levi’s lean torso, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, then tried to make him turn for a real kiss. “You wouldn’t believe -- oh my god.”

You never thought you’d see the day.

“What?” Levi asked, annoyed. Clearly pretending that he wasn’t standing in front of you, a sheet mask on his face, fuzzy headband perfectly in place. This headband was black, however, and you were positive you didn’t own a black one.

“Nothing, but that better not be one of my masks,” you said, a giggle threatening to burst through at any moment. You knew it. You’d sucked Levi into the world of skincare. There was no telling if this was going to be good or bad.

And, of course, you couldn’t help the little jab of, “Nice headband.”

“It was the only kind they had,” Levi quipped a little too quickly, and the giggle that you’d been fighting off escaped your throat, earning you a hard glare. “Don’t start being a brat about this.”

“I like it,” you told him honestly, hands up in surrender. You snuck a quick kiss to his lips and let him get back to his cooking, while you sauntered to the bathroom to freshen up before dinner.

When you walked in to see the new arrangement of skincare products, all of them the same as the ones you’d used on him just a couple of days ago, you softened and couldn’t help the grin that seemed permanently etched on your face. You grabbed the box of sheet masks excitedly, poking your head out of the door.

“Hey, I know I basically said you couldn’t steal my sheet masks, but can I steal one of yours?”

#i rewrote this like 3 times and still not COMPLETELY happy but its still precious and slightly soft levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman oneshot #levi one shot #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi #levi fanfiction #levi fic #levi fluff #aot oneshots #aot fanfiction #aot #snk fanfiction #snk

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