#sometimes there’s many reasons I like to add some jokes or fun to the mix

[lunathewafflelord]

Decided to go onto JumpStart and look at the old stories I had posted there back in 2014 and share them here

Shame that nothing new has been added to the stories and photos and jokes and questions page in a loooooong time, I hope someday they update that again since it was so much fun seeing what people made and it’d be great if the game got popular again

I love how I just gave up on rhyming in the end and just said “I woke up back home. The end”

(censored out my cousin’s name for privacy reasons) “Magic” was the name I gave my character when talking about her online since I didn’t want to call her my irl name online. Her name was my real life name but her name is now Iris. And yes, I am still working on this story concept but the characters have new names and designs. It was initially sort of a Toontown fanfiction but later became its own thing. 

Their names now:

Pixie Dust- Pixie Brooks, Big Books - Brianna Brooks, Crystal EyeJewel - Christine Gem, Fire Gem - Fiona Gem. Character with my cousin’s real name isn’t a character anymore and she was literally just my cousin but with magic powers, same with Magic who was just me with rainbow powers. Marissa’s name is likely Marissa Brooks now since she was Big Books’ cousin, but I haven’t written her into the current canon yet

For some reason for a while when new stories were added the endings got cut off, so this and several other stories I and other have made had the ending cut off and since this was almost ten years ago now I don’t remember what the intended ending was I don’t think we’ll ever know what the full story was, rip. I’m surprised the staff never tried to fix this, since MANY stories had gotten cut off. Also, “there” instead of “their” XP 

“she a” SHE A WHAT I WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING. I’m going to assume those 3 girls were in game friends of mine or maybe they were names I made up for the game, I don’t know.

another cut off ending, which is a shame since I remember really liking this one when I made it. Going to assume the last sentence was supposed to end with “the baby was going to be a girl” but I don’t know.

This was a side profile of mine where my character was a boy and his name was Blake Feather to match my main character Alexandra PinkFeather (my name prior to becoming Maddy SilverDreamer) but I changed his name to Steve SilverDiamond after the dreaded character design update since I wanted to turn him into Steve from Minecraft and I changed Maddy to Alex SilverDiamond and I tried giving them white eyes to be like Herobrine to rebel against the change. Several years later and those ugly and poorly optimized character models are still being used, but the game is pretty fun. Shame not many people play anymore, my favorite part was chatting and exploring with my friends.

I was REALLY proud of this one when I made it!!! Btw, Vanessa Bear was my cousin’s character. If only we had more text space when submitting stories, there were more details I had wanted to add but I ran out of room.

What??? Did the ending get cut off since last time I read this one? The ending was different and I KNOW the ending was there since I had read it multiple times, it was something about the two sisters becoming famous in their town and being called the Magic Gems and when people saw them they’d say “There goes the Magic Gems”. Maybe I’m mixing it up with one of the other stories I wrote that all had very similar plots.

Was the same story posted twice somehow but the endings changed? The people approving stories must have accidentally posted it twice with alterations to the ending. I know the staff sometimes altered parts of posted stories, like some lines were different in the golden flower story than how I originally wrote it. Weird.

[red-monkey-and-bolts]

“There is more to this guy and I’m ready to see it”

-me brain (2021)

God bless you :3

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[deadricslover]

late night thoughts: volume 1

none of you know me very well and I create some of your pre-bed time scenarios, so I thought I'd give you some really really random facts about me whilst I work on my many many many drafts. If you have any questions ask below! Although there are some things I would like to keep private for privacy reasons 💀 :)

- I am fluent in multiple languages! sometimes if I'm using one language for a period of time and then switch to another, I would mix words up and it's very funny when people don't understand me.

- Usually little girls would love to be a princess or a hairdresser, right? well my little self wanted to be a (as I called it) a racecar driver...... but in normal terms: a formula one driver. I don't know what was going through my head but I was obsessed. stealing my older brothers toy cars from when he was younger and wanting a go-kart for Christmas was normal to me and I often got made fun of for it. That dream would still be ideal today but I have more practical aspirations for my future now which is very emotional for me. :( I loved Daniel Riccardo he was literally my idol (+ vettel and Alonso!!!). My obsession was so hardcore that I refused to watch princess films and play with Barbies. I received a Rapunzel doll for my birthday when I was eight and took off her dress and coloured a race suit onto her with a sharpie. It was very creative to be fair.

- every relationship and friendship (besides my brother ily smelly) I have been in ever has been toxic and tore me down, my luck is so kind to me right? don't pity me or I swear- I was little and didn't know better. THE POINT IS my online friendships worked out so much better so I value you all so so so much honestly<3

- don't laugh at me please but when I was younger I had a crippling fear of the Simpsons..........they were scary ok?

- I have a dog!

- Christian bale isn't my only celebrity crush but that's not shocking I don't think.

- batman isn't my favourite superhero. shocking? he's one of my favourites but not in the top five. he is definitely the most attractive one, but as a character I prefer marvel characters :)

- i.am.a.sucker.for.romance.

- favourite..

superhero: super potato from Peppa pig. who else?

movie: the dark knight and whiplash (couldn't recommend enough, honestly)

tv show: ben and holly (I ❤️ Gaston). fuck Daniel Riccardo^^, Gaston is my idol

colour: RED WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVE RED- OMFG. I like purple too

food: grapes. theyre so random but I love the purple ones.

person: my best friend's mom. he knows I prefer her over him and feels so loved by me 💀 idk why I love her sm but I do. ur mom jokes are daily for us because of this.

animal: my older brother ❤️ he's the smelliest pig.

song: you know I'm no good ( and that whole album) by Amy Winehouse is my current hyperfixation but I love harry styles :) basic ass bitch I know but the arctic monkeys are in the mix too!

- I am literally the best at mario kart. like nobody can beat me for real, my mom and dad would play with me and my brother and I would always beat them no exceptions.

- I am literally -like I said a second ago- the most basic biatch. you know that one aesthetic that's like nerdy but in a Pinterest way? like loving taylor swift, marvel, books, Lana del Ray, music, Gilmore girls, the arctic monkeys and star wars? that's literally me. not that the arctic monkeys, Taylor or anything are nerdy but you know what Im trying to say? sorry if u don't HAJAJAHAHHA

- I cannot let my room become untidy. it's just a thing. I can't function in a slightly messy room, let alone a monstrosity that looks like an alien space ship crashed into my house. it irritates me because I constantly find myself cleaning and reorganising.

- I dont know why I got the urge to write on here, I never wanted to be an author growing up but I just thought it would be fun.

- I literally don't know what else to tell you😭 I'll edit this whenever I think of somat to add hehe.

[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

[v-hope]

Comfort, 7:48PM — Tiger Flower

“You’re feeling better?” you wondered, placing your phone down on the couch the two of you were sitting down on. “Or did you only smile for the picture?”

Jeongguk snorted, shaking his head in amusement. After only a few minutes in your company, it was fair to say he was no longer feeling miserable like he had been the night before and a good part of that same day. It was funny, actually, how your presence alone could have such effect on him and his mood.

“I’m better”.

Staring at him for a few seconds to try and see whether he was lying or not, you finally gave it up, nodding your head as you decided to just believe him.

“May I ask what were you so upset about though?” you asked softly, afraid of bringing up a touchy topic.

And just like that, his semblance became serious once again, remaining silent and answering your question with a simple shrug before he leaned his back against the couch.

What else was he supposed to do? Open his mouth and go ‘I was just heartbroken at the idea of you and my hyung being together for real?’. Yeah, that was most definitely not happening.

“So… how did things go yesterday?” he questioned a couple of seconds later, not needing to mention Taehyung for you to understand what he was talking about.

“It was fun” you kept it simple. “Why? You wanna know the details?”

Although you had said that in a cheery, teasing tone, Jeongguk didn’t seem as eager when he shook his head no — being conflicted still between wanting to know and not wanting to at all.

“Was it a date?” he managed to ask anyway, voice barely audible and eyes fixing somewhere else.

“Huh?”

“Yesterday… with hyung” he elaborated, this time speaking louder, trying his best for his voice not to betray him and show just how scared he was of your possible answer to what he wanted to ask. “And now today as well…” his eyes focused on you. “Are you guys together?”

There it was again. That same feeling you had felt the day before when he asked about you and Taehyung going on a date. Guilt.

“N-No… we’re not” although your answer sounded nervous, it was enough for him to feel like he could breathe again. “And about the date, I mean… I don’t, I don’t know…” you lowered your head, looking to your hands on your lap as you fidgeted whilst trying to find the right words. “He would’ve called it a date if it was, right?”

“He would?” Jeongguk wondered.

“Isn’t that what people do?” you answered with another question. “When you’ve asked girls out on dates you’ve called them that, haven’t you?”

“Wouldn’t know” he shrugged.

Your eyes fixed on him attentively. “What do you mean you wouldn’t know?”

He shrugged once more, like it didn’t really matter. “I’ve never asked anyone on a date... or even been on one for that matter”.

You froze. “You’re joking, right?”

“Is it really that hard to believe?” he let out a small, breathy laugh.

“Yeah” you answered in a heartbeat — the confidence you had expressed yourself with causing his cheeks to flush.

“I haven’t” he confirmed.

“Why not?” you couldn’t help but pry, at which he just shrugged once again in response.

In all honesty, you couldn’t believe he had never gone on a date. Sure, he had never mentioned anything regarding the topic to you, but he was a quiet person to begin with, you thought he just wasn’t the type to talk about his love life. Never would it have crossed your mind that a guy as great as him had nothing really going on there.

Silence had suddenly filled the room, and although for some reason your heart felt kind of uneasy at what you were about to propose, you went on.

“There’s so many girls on campus I know for a fact would love going out with you, maybe if you—”

“I’m not interested in any of them, petal” he cut you off, fixing his eyes on yours — both of you missing the way they were begging for you to understand.

To please understand he was not interested in anyone who wasn’t you.

“Oh…” you frowned, this time feeling a small twinge in your heart at the thought that had just invaded your mind. “You’re… interested in someone else already then?”

He shrugged. “There’s kinda only one person who’s ever managed to really catch my attention, so...”

You lowered your head, nodding faintly before you, almost inaudibly, mumbled. “Mhm… Sooyeon”

“What?” his head snapped in your direction when he did not get what you had said right then.

“Sucks,” you spoke louder this time, correcting yourself and hoping he’d fall for it. “It must really suck… not having anyone else catch your eye anymore” the corners of your mouth curved slightly up in a rather weak smile. “She must’ve been really great to manage to cause such an impression”.

A breathy laugh escaped his throat, staring down to his fidgeting fingers. “Yeah… she is”.

“You could still try and throw yourself out there, though…” you shrugged. “Who knows, you could end up falling for someone else eventually”.

And it was at that exact moment, when your own advice left your mouth and you could no longer ignore that annoying uneasy feeling you got in your chest every time you brought up the idea of Guk with someone else, that you realised it might not have been only irrational guilt what you had felt the day before when you went out with Taehyung.

Unaware of what was going through your mind, Jeongguk shrugged. The problem to your proposition was, he didn’t want to fall for someone else, he just wanted you.

“Going on dates is not really my thing” he stated, looking for an excuse yet also speaking what to him was the truth. “I’m too quiet most of the time and also awkward as h—”

“Yah, stop that” you cut him off before he could even begin.

“Stop what?” he pouted out of confusion.

“Putting yourself down” you explained. “You’re always doing that and I hate it”.

“It’s true though…”

Letting out a heavy sigh, you turned to him, sitting cross-legged on the couch so you could properly look at him. “Okay, yes. You are quiet as hell most of the time, yes. You can be a little awkward sometimes, yes. So what. That only makes you so fucking endearing” your words made his face burn — eyes searching in yours for any kind of a joke being displayed on them. “Seriously, Guk,” you reassured him once you got what he was doing. “You are so amazing. Anyone would be lucky to be with you, how can you not see it?”

“You only think that because you know me too well by now...”

“Exactly! It’s exactly because I know you that I’m saying this” you pointed out rather exasperatedly, cupping his face in your hands when his eyes travelled somewhere else not to meet yours. “No, you look at me when I say this because I mean it,” that had him looking at you in a second. “Bun, you truly have it all. You are funny, sweet, smart, talented as hell, cute and hot at the same time, which is really hard to find may I add, and it fucking sucks so much to hear you put yourself down all the time, when you have literally nothing to worry about because you could really get anyone you want if you were just confident enough to go for it”.

Silence filled the room once again, for you had ran out of words and Jeongguk was too busy trying both to process all the compliments you had just given him and calm his eager heart that was beating in such a way he couldn’t recall having ever felt before in his life.

“You think I’m hot?”

That question alone coming from his pouty lips was enough to have you throwing your head back as a loud laugh escaped your throat. “Of course out of everything I said that was the only thing you heard”.

Jeongguk laughed as well, nervously, breathily, as he couldn’t help but get shy at that particular trait having been indeed the only thing his mind had apparently registered right then.

Feeling your hands loosen their hold on his face, he was quick to prevent it — his hands gently grabbing your wrists to keep them in place, earning a smile from you as his thumbs started tenderly drawing circles on your skin.

“You mean it then?” his voice came out low.

“That you’re hot?” you couldn’t help but tease, with a light laugh following right after.

He shook his head in amusement, another chuckle leaving his mouth. “Everything you said,” he clarified. “And that if I was confident enough… you know…”

You nodded in a heartbeat. “I do mean everything I said,” he smiled at the way you had ever so sweetly said those words, enjoying the way your thumbs were gently caressing the sides of his face. “You could really get anyone you want, bun”.

Then again, he only wanted you. But he wouldn’t dare to tell you that. Not right then.

However, although he didn’t find himself capable of telling you so, his instincts told him otherwise. Without even realizing, his face started leaning in —much to his surprise, right as you started leaning in as well—, until your breathings mixed and your lips faintly brushed; eyes staring at them for a couple of seconds, as a part of you both was still hesitant to close the short space between your mouths.

And although neither of you really wanted to stop yourselves, it was that brief moment of hesitation the one that ended up turning out against you.

For had you not hesitated, you would’ve managed to feel each other’s lips for at least five seconds before the front door opened.

Jeongguk and you jolted up, nervously pulling away and trying to ignore what had almost just happened, as Namjoon and Areum, the girl he had been going out with for the last month, stood there staring at you.

“Hey” Namjoon greeted quite absently, still trying to process what he had just walked in —or almost walked in— on.

“H-Hey,” you were the one to nervously greet back, standing up and rushedly looking for your phone. “I was just about to leave”.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk rushed up as well. “I’m walking her home” he announced; just like you, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Jeongguk-ah” Areum raised one of her eyebrows teasingly.

“Noona,” he greeted her with a polite bow before he went to your side. “I, I don’t. I mean, we’re not—”

A couple.

“Yeah,” you reassured her as well once you grabbed your phone. “We’re just—”

Friends.

Yet, for some reason, neither of you were able to bring yourselves to finish those sentences.

Not wanting to deal with that anymore, you just walked over the door Namjoon was still holding open, being followed by Jeongguk right after he grabbed the jacket you were forgetting on the couch.

Standing in front of them both for a second, you gave them a small smile to say goodbye. “I’ll just—”

“Here,” Jeongguk blurted out as he placed your jacket on your shoulders, keeping his warm hands on them as he helped you out. “I’ll be right back” he informed Joon.

Watching the two of you rush out of the apartment and down the hallway, Namjoon sighed, finally closing the door behind him.

“Are they sure they’re not a couple?” Areum asked in disbelief at the scene she had just presenced.

He shrugged, not really knowing what to believe at this point. “I’m not sure anymore”.

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

I'm really not sure why anyone's surprised Im/odna wasn't The BeauJes Apology(TM) people were hoping for. Anything remotely resembling an apology would be an admission of the fuck-up and the cast has proven they're incapable of doing that. And Marisha is incapable of acting like an adult about queer characters.

Even if it does take a turn for the romantic, to harken back to another anon you got, there's no reason to trust them with it. Even a couple years after the fact, the BeauJes fiasco has only proven that they're all-too happy to throw a character-dynamic away the moment it's inconvenient to some unrelated 3rd party (whether they're at the table or not), no matter how good or fun it is.

and really, ships like im/odna or beaujes would do just fine in any fandom where the creators don't show such disdain for people who don't worship the canon, and said disdain gets carried into the fandom. Where you have an entire subset who have no qualms about going into the tags of a ship they don't like just to bully people. I've moved onto other fandoms that basic bit of fandom-etiquette is so much less common in so many other communities. They say "don't bully people" and their sycophants take it as "don't bully us :)))" (something something don't forget to love each other repeatedly gets turned into a blunt weapon to shut down criticism) cuz they've always actively mocked anyone who criticizes them, or doesn't uncritically eat up whatever story-beat they add, no matter how lazy it is. No wonder fanfic writers are made into a joke whenever they're mentioned: fanfic can and sometimes does challenge the canon of a given story.

“Marisha is incapable of acting like an adult about queer characters.” This very succinctly sums it up.

Though I will say, early on (from the confession and forward, pre-hiatus), she did a good job. There were tons of fans that identified with the way she was playing Beau in that moment; how scary it is to admit you have feelings for a (presumed straight) friend, having to keep that to yourself, the little bit of yearning mixed with anguish that comes with it, and how you wanna distance yourself but then if you do, your friend is gonna be really sad. (Like in ep88)

I genuinely think that she did actually play those aspects of it very well.

And I guess that’s also part of the disappointment over why Beaujester fell away and we got stuck with BY. Around the time of the confession, Beau had been growing as a person. She was less juvenile, more articulate, and in a sense, more genuine than she used to be. Of course she still had her goofy moments but it felt like she was maturing. Then post-hiatus reared it ugly head and she was back to acting like a horny teenager. It was like everybody reverted back to their original selves, devoid of growth. The shallowness was back, the one-liners were back, the “That’s hot.” “You’re so hot.” “Let’s make-out.” shit was back. That was all she had to contribute. It was ridiculous, bland, and try-hard.

Where the fuck did all the maturity go?

Pre-hiatus Beau and post-hiatus Beau really do feel like two different people.

I like that you said ‘worship the canon’. And, you’re right. I also think ships like Beaujester and Im/odna would be allowed to thrive in a fandom that didn’t worship canon. Problem is, I personally don’t know of any fandom that didn’t/doesn’t worship canon. Maybe Ag/ent Carter would be the only exception. But I think that’s only because it didn’t exist long enough for the fandom to devolve into a toxic space. The show was cancelled a few episodes into its second season lol

Other than that, every other fandom experience I’ve had (both on here and on twitter) has been pretty fucking horrendous. And it is mostly because of canon worship and just general shipper entitlement. (Mainly m/f shipper entitlement.)

I won’t go into that here though. I’ve already started writing up something about this and it’s gonna be very long. It needs to be its own post.

[vivianweasley]

Pride and Prejudice (Chapter 1)

Summary: You are Draco’s cousin, and after the war, it was really difficult for you to find a job because of your last name. So your mother and Mrs. Weasley came up with a crazy idea. A fake marriage between you and Fred Weasley. 

Italics= flashback

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Malfoy!Fem!Reader

Warnings: workplace discrimination, slight slight mention of war

Word Count: 1.9k

Disclaimer: all the pictures used in the header are from Pinterest. Credit goes to the original owners.

Please do NOT repost or translate my work on another site without explicit permission! Thank you! Reblogs and comments are always welcome:)

Prologue

Two days after the dinner at the Burrow, you ran into your friend when you were shopping at Flourish and Blotts. She just got out of the Daily Prophet, and you could see a name tag on her chest stating that she’s now a reporter for the Daily Prophet.

“You got the job?” You didn’t know how to process this information. You and she were in the same year and same house. You both took the same classes, your grades were almost the same, and you both got the interview for Daily Prophet at the same time. The only difference was that she got the job, and you didn’t.

“Yes! Today’s the first day! Wait, you didn’t?” She was finding it hard to believe too.

Memories of the interview flashed back. You could still remember how the interviewer immediately furrowed his brows when he heard that your last name is Malfoy. The distrust, doubt, and even disgust on his face were so painfully visible.

You knew your background couldn’t provide any help when it comes to finding a job, but you still encouraged yourself by thinking that maybe it was because you weren’t good enough. If that’s so, you could always make up for it by working harder. But now you realized that, no matter how hard you worked, you would never be good enough for them because people would always make false assumptions about you based on your last name.

You felt dizzy. The whole Diagon Alley suddenly appeared foggy and dim, looking quite like your future, but you soon saw a lighthouse at the end of it. The brightness of the orange joke shop seemed to point out a way out for you as Mrs. Weasley and your mum’s suggestions rang in your ears.

“I need to go now!” The walk was only five minutes, but you couldn’t waste any time as you apparated right to the door of the joke shop.

“Well, this is rare!” The owner greeted you with a big grin on his face when you opened the door.

You didn’t have time to start this conversation with George, so you went right into your question, “I’m looking for Fred Weasley. Is he here?”

George was shocked as multiple questions ran through his brain. Wait, you could tell between him and Fred? But does he know you this well? Or maybe you have some history with Fred? Merlin! Y/N Malfoy? And Fred??

But he said nothing, just pointed at the back of the shop as he was still trying to process the situation.

“Thanks.” You rushed to the back of the shop and saw Fred sorting through the boxes in the storage.

“Fred Weasley.” You stated with a straight face.

“Y/N Malfoy?” Fred mimicked your tone as he still wasn’t sure what’s going on. What was this woman doing in his shop, anyway?

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No. Why? Do you fancy me? Did you fall in love with me after that one dinner?” he teased.

You ignored him and continued, “Do you fancy anyone? Are you dating someone? Talking to someone?”

“Not that I’m aware of?”

“Great. Let’s get married then.”

The boxes fell from Fred’s hands. This woman is absolutely mental! “I beg your pardon?”

“I said, let’s get married. After I got a steady job, we can get a divorce anytime.” You knew he’s going to laugh it off if you don’t up your game a little, so you frowned, pretending like you were disappointed, “Well, guess you don’t have the guts to do it.”

Fred knew what you were trying to do, but he was still completely under your control when you were basically giving him a dare. This should be fun, he decided. He never really hated you anyway. In fact, he actually really admired you back in Hogwarts.

Back in fifth year, Fred and George tried to prank you. It wasn’t because you did anything in particular. It was just because you were Draco Malfoy’s cousin, and Draco was really obnoxious that year.

The prank was simple. they estimated when you would walk down the stairs and set a tripwire on your way, waiting for you to trip over and fall.

Fred and George were hiding behind a pillar, waiting, but nothing happened. When you were walking down the stairs, you stopped and pulled out your wand. “Incendio,” you whispered, and the tripwire just burned into ashes.

Watching their prank being busted, the twins were frustrated. George gave up on pranking you again. It’s not like you did anything wrong anyway. But Fred suddenly felt motivated. He’s determined to get you one day.

Fred tried everything. Be it canary cream or portable swamp, you always had a way to avoid his pranks gracefully, and sometimes, the pranks would even backfire on him. After trying for a month, Fred finally admitted defeat. He admired how your brain worked, and he couldn’t help but think that if you weren’t a Malfoy, maybe you two would be really good friends.

“Who said I don’t have the guts?”

You smiled with satisfaction, for you knew your strategy worked, “Good, I will see you at the Ministry tomorrow then.”

“Wait, you could get a job, but what’s in it for me?”

You knew he wouldn’t agree so easily, so you had already prepared a plan, “How about, as long as it‘s not illegal or against my own moral standards, I can do three things for you. What do you say?”

“Deal!” The reason why Fred refused at first was that he hated being arranged and controlled by his parents. But now, when this arranged marriage became more like a game to him, he began finding it quite interesting. “The first thing I want you to do is to take care of my shop today!”

“I’m not stupid, Weasley. What if you run away after I spent the whole day working in your shop? The deal only works after I get the marriage certificate!”

Fred nodded in approval, “Not bad, Malfoy. So I will see you at the Ministry tomorrow at one pm then.”

“Deal! Don’t be late, Weasley!”

~

The next day, you were waiting at the Ministry at one pm. You repeatedly glanced at the clock  and shuffled all the documents in your hands as you paced around. 

Fred was late. Did he bail on you? Did he think you were only joking? Did he think you were a joke? Irritation and doubt rushed through your head, but you eventually calmed a bit down when you heard a familiar voice.

“Let’s just get this over with, shall we, my lovely bride-to-be?” he teased as he waltzed in.

“Not before we set some ground rules first.” You pulled him to a place where no one could hear you, and you finally took out the contract that you wrote yesterday night.

“Blimey, you actually wrote a contract?”

“Yes, Weasley, and you have to sign it,” you continued, “First, a year after I got a steady job, we will get a divorce.”

“A year?? Why does it have to be so long?”

“I don’t want the Ministry and my employer to think that I’m getting married only because I want to get a job.” You ignored his pout and went on with the list, “Second, if during this year, you actually met someone, you can date them. But you have to be discreet.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Aww, didn’t know you were such a thoughtful person.”

“Third, the fewer people know the truth, the better.”

“Sorry love, but my family already knew, and that’s already a lot of people.”

You glared at him, “You know what I mean!”

Your expression successfully elicited a small laugh from him, making you suspect that he actually enjoyed annoying you.

You rolled your eyes, “That’s all. Anything you want to add?” 

Fred shook his head, and you handed him a pen, “Brilliant!”

After signing his name on your contract, he held out his arm, “Shall we?”

You smiled, taking his arm, “We shall.”

“Fred Weasley? And Y/N Malfoy?” The lady at the Ministry looked at you and then looked at Fred several times, and finally asked in a surprised tone.

“That’s us!” Fred answered and wrapped his arm around your shoulders while you both tried to put on the biggest smile.

But her eyes were still scanning you from head to toe, and finally stopped at your fingers, “So, no rings, huh?” She was looking into your eyes as if she just found out the whole marriage was a scam. 

You cursed yourself for not remembering something this important, but your smile didn’t disappear, “Yes, Freddie and I aren’t conventional people. We don’t need a piece of metal to prove our love.”

Fred was surprised when he heard your nickname for him, but he didn’t let it show. It’s weird hearing you calling him that, but he had to admit he liked the sound of it. “That’s right, my love.”

You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder to display your affection. You wanted to stay focused so you won’t blow your cover, but hearing that pet name had caused a weird tingle in your stomach.

A few questions later, and before you could fully comprehend the situation, you were officially married to Fred Weasley. Looking at your marriage certificate, you felt surreal. Just in a few days, you and Fred went from classmates who never really talked to each other to a married couple. You two were legally bonded now, and it felt strange, but you had no time to process all these, for you had a more important task.

“Where are you going?” you heard Fred yelling behind you as you started running.

“I’ve got a job interview!”

~

The interview went well. The interviewer even thanked your husband and his family for their service during the war. You were disgusted by how people’s attitudes could change so drastically simply when you changed your last name. You didn’t fight in the war, but your family took in many muggle-born kids during those dark days, yet nobody cared. All they knew was your last name.

You walked home with mixed feelings running in your head. You knew your life was about to change, but you didn’t know if it was for better or worse. So many things have happened in the past few days, and you were just confused.

But what awaited you at home didn’t resolve any of your doubts. You saw your mum moving suitcases to the door. They were your suitcases.

“Mum, what’s going on?”

“Oh, darling, you’re back! How did the interview go?”

“It went well, I guess. Why are you moving my things out?”

“Oh, Mrs. Weasley and I figured it would look more authentic if you were staying with your husband. You know, just in case someone suspects anything.”

“Mum! But I barely know him!”

“Well, then this is the perfect chance to get to know each other!

So this was how you ended up knocking on the Weasley twins’ door at night, with all your suitcases.

The door cracked open, and Fred’s eyes widened when he saw you and your suitcases at his door.

You smiled sincerely at him, “Hello husband, mind if I stay the night?”

~

Chapter 2

A/N: this chapter is still setting things up. The next chapter will be longer!

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[glitxhwayventeen]

A Different Kind Of Love…

Wonwoo: Chapter 3 (Save Your Tears)

Characters: Wonwoo x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, cheating (again, sort of), FOOD mentions, Mood Swings. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Here it is friends! A chapter with almost complete fluff. Who would’ve thunk huh? Anyways I hope you guys like the chapter. I had quite a bit of fun writing it for some reason…

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

Mostly domestic ☁️ & barely any 🥀

A Different Kind Of Love… Master List

Chapter 3: Save Your Tears

It had been exactly three months since you had been marked by Wonwoo and finally completely integrated yourself into your new pack. You hadn’t seen or heard from Song since that night, but you still felt VERY uneasy about the whole situation. People didn’t just get together the way you and your mate did and get a sweet happy little ending.

Wonwoo and you were doing great personally though. You now slept in the same room, ‘slept’ together, and just all around loved each other. You were starting to have a hard time remembering what life was like before you had gotten attacked by that angry mob now that you were with him. He made time stop and fast forward all at once. Everything seemed to go on forever and yet so quickly when you were with him. And you loved every single second of it. Even if you had a hard time showing him that sometimes.

You were downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast for all the boys, someone had to. They literally could not seem to take care of themselves even if they were grown ass men. So you kind of took on the part of den mother to them, you were the only responsible girl they had around after all. None of the Alphas had mates yet, in fact, no one older than Jihoon had found theirs yet. It was only the younger ones. And while their mates were great, they just very much acted like their wolf counter parts, which meant fun all day everyday without a second thought. So that left you being one of the few, other than Seungcheol and Joshua, who knew when enough shenanigans was enough. You didn’t mind, you liked having a big family again.

Many of the boys reminded you of your brothers. Especially Mingyu, who ate and played just as much and as rough as they did. It caused the both of you to become very close, even to the point where he felt like one of your biological brothers, he reminded you a lot of Mako. And of course, Wonwoo was absolutely delighted that the member he considered his best friend and his mate got along so much. He trusted Mingyu around you more than anyone else, so much so that he refused to even let you leave the house without either Gyu or himself by your side.

You had been having your nightmares again which was relatively normal for you. However, Wonwoo had started having them himself, which as a seer was very much not normal or good in meaning in anyway. He wouldn’t tell you what they were about, he always said you didn’t need to worry or be bothered with them as there was nothing to mention. But the way he clung to you, and the way he forced Mingyu to stay with you when he couldn’t, started having you think that maybe things weren’t as alright as they seemed…

You still just brushed it off, trying your best to just enjoy your little honeymoon bliss with your mate and continued to flip pancakes. Everything would work out. That’s what your voices said, so that’s what you believed. Soon enough, your mate had woken up to an empty bed and marched his way downstairs with a pout adorned on his face.

“(Y/N), why are you downstairs stirring batter instead of upstairs snoring in my arms?” He let out in an annoyed huff as he came to stand beside you, watching your actions with playfully narrowed eyes.

“Because Wonu, 1.) everyone will need breakfast soon and I hate that Seungcheol’s always left to be the one to do it and 2.) you take forever and I hate waiting for you to wake up. And HEY I do NOT snore!” You ranted, smacking his toned chest with your free hand in the process, the other firmly gripped onto your whisk as you made more mix for more pancakes.

You had gotten comfortable with him to the point of joking. Which not only made you proud, but made Wonwoo’s heart soar. He was glad he could coax you out of your shell a bit.

“Yeah yeah sure. And Soonyoung isn’t a little sexual deviant.” He chuckled and kissed the top of your rat’s nest covered head.

“Hey! I heard that!” Soonyoung shouted from his room in the higher portion of the house.

“Yeah I know.” Wonwoo smiled, dipping his finger in the batter you had just added some strawberry syrup to to add more flavor and plopping it directly into his mouth.

“Whatever that weird stuff is is good. But don’t think I’m still not upset that my mate left the bed without me this morning.” He assessed, sitting himself down on the counter next to you while you started pouring batter onto your skillet.

“Well get over it my love. It’s not the first time it’s happened and we both know with the way you sleep, it’s not gonna be the last. And my pancakes are not weird! They are delicious.” You declared, flipping a newly heated pancake over so it’s other side would begin to cook.

That’s something he had come to realize about you: you were always very prideful of being able to do household things well. And certain things like your hair for that matter. You always had high personal standards, though you only seemed to hold yourself to them as you didn’t care if anyone else lived up to them, just you. He chalked it up to your tribe’s old family centered traditions. He thought it was cute, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t tease you a bit about it.

Wonwoo smirked and bit his lip at the gratification you showed in your cooking, “They are. They’re still weird as shit though. Who puts the syrup INTO the batter?”

“I do. It makes them taste better” You insisted before you put the finished pancake with the rest of the cooked stack you had managed to create before your mate came to bother you.

“You know maybe you just don’t know how to cook.” You pointed at him with your spatula in a teasing manner.

“Maybe not” He shrugged, ducking his form down a bit to get closer to you, “But I DO know that when you’re done cooking them, you’re just gonna eat them plain like a freak.”

Just as he finished his sentence, half a dozen wolves made their way into the kitchen. You hadn’t even realized anyone other than Soonyoung was really even up yet do to you focusing all your senses and attention on your mate. That had taken you a lot of practice as, in the wilderness, you had to pay attention to everything and everyone around you.

“Mmm smells good (Y/N), what’s cooking?” Seungkwan questioned as he fought Soonyoung for a seat that was positioned closer to the food.

“Pancakes. I made loads of them” You stated, looking towards the two bickering werewolves before you and turned the stovetop off.

“And it is NOT freaky to eat them without syrup. Lots of people do it. Plus, the extra syrup’s so sugary it’s been making me feel sick lately so I would rather just eat it without to avoid it.” You spoke to Wonwoo, who had finally brought himself down from the counter and sat himself down on a chair to grab food with the other boys.

He just laughed in response to your stubbornness and pulled you to sit on his lap with a kiss to your cheek, “Whatever you say baby. I still think it’s weird to eat a plain pancake.”

It had taken you quite a while to warm up to this kind of PDA. When you first came to them, something like that would have you wiggle your way to sit alone and have to hide your burning cheeks. You’d really come a long way. Well, at least with Wonu

“Oh yeah no that’s suuuuper weird (Y/N). You may be a sociopath.” Jeonghan chuckled as he plopped another large bite of a pancake into his mouth, smiling.

“Yeah that’s weird as shit. Who the hell eats a plain pancake?” Soonyoung snickered, shoveling a whole syrup filled circle into his mouth.

“Look, what do any of you know? Most of you had never even eaten a pancake before I came around because Koreans don’t typically eat them for breakfast. So shut up!” You spit out, your feelings starting to get hurt at the constant teasing of the others.

“Who’s the weirdo eating plain pancakes?” Joshua, the American, asked from the stairs as he slowly made his was down towards the rest of the pack to eat.

“Well the Westerner thinks it’s weird so…” Chan said with a shrug and a shit eating grin.

The boys all busted out laughing, some so hard they had to hold their sides. Wonwoo started to choke a laugh back into your shoulder as you sat there and folded your arms over your chest.

“You guys suck. I try and be NICE to you and I get laughed at for my eating habits. I don’t want to have to sit here for this” You huffed, getting up from your mate’s lap and walking upstairs to your shared bedroom, closing the door a bit louder than you probably should’ve when so many people were still sleeping.

“Damn, what crawled up her ass?” Hansol, who you had stomped past on the way to your room said, finally getting himself situated in the kitchen.

Wonwoo let out a frustrated sigh before he stood up from his place, grabbing a plate of pancakes in the process. He was still trying to figure out when his teasing was too much for you. And he probably would’ve been fine had the others not decided to join in. You liked them, you did, but you weren’t as comfortable around them just yet. Them taunting you probably really upset you and he was just the dumbass who let them continue to do it.

“Me. I’m an idiot. I’ll go talk to her and see if I can get her to come back down.” He said as he begrudgingly made his way to the stairs, slightly kicking himself internally for upsetting you over something so little and stupid.

-

Once he made it to your bedroom door, he tried to turn the handle, only to realize it was locked.

“(Y/N)? Baby? Can you please open the door?” He whined out, not realizing he had upset you to the point of you wanting even HIM to leave you alone.

You always wanted him around you. Even when you first came to the pack, you still would rather be near him. Even when he was with Song, you still liked having him close by. Even when you were angry at him, you’d rather be angry at him with his arms wrapped around you than be angry at him alone somewhere. You never locked the door. His inner wolf groaned at the thought.

“No.” You bluntly spit out, wanting him as far away from you as possible and trying to suppress a stomach growl all in one go.

“I brought pancakes…” Wonwoo all but sung out, having heard your angry stomach and knowing damn well you would give into him if he had food.

After hearing a small groan from the other side of the barrier, he heard a little click of metal before the door swung open. In front of him was a very angry looking you, your cheeks were stained with tears and it caused a small whimper to emit from his chest. He had caused you to cry and it crushed him.

You had your hand out in expectancy as he had promised sustenance in exchange for entry. He dutifully handed you the plate and closed the door behind him. He watched as you scarfed down a full pancake in one go. Damn, you were more hungry than he thought.

“What do you want?” You sniffled at him once you had cleared your airway of food.

You sat the plate down on the nightstand before you stood and turned your attention back to your mate, grabbing another pancake and taking small bites in the process. You were never really this hungry or ate this much, but when you got sad lately, you just felt like eating. Probably not the best habit, but you weren’t that good with your feelings, you always just followed your instincts instead. They always kept you alive, and right now they were telling you to eat, so you ate.

“I wanted to apologize baby. I didn’t mean to upset you. It really was just a joke. I didn’t mean to make you cry. You’re not weird. Plain pancakes are fine. I should’ve just kept my big mouth shut.” He groveled, wrapping his arms around your small frame.

“Yes. Yes, you should’ve.” You agreed, finally swallowing the remains of your food and crossing your arms in annoyance, slightly leaning away from his touch to wipe your tears away.

You wanted him to touch you. God, you wanted him to touch you. But you didn’t want to give in so easily, because once you gave in, you knew he’d get all smug and then you’d want to punch his smug face. You wanted him to genuinely feel bad before you crashed your lips to his and ripped each other clothes off. It was only fair.

Wonwoo could smell the wetness already beginning to form between your legs. He suppressed a smirk threatening to appear on his face for getting you this worked up by literally doing almost nothing, but he knew being cocky wasn’t a good way to get you to stop being mad at him. So he stuck with his original plan: begging for forgiveness.

He easily lifted you up and secured your legs around his waist, holding onto your back so you wouldn’t lose your balance and fall, “I really am sorry. I won’t do it again baby. I promise.” He spoke as he leaned his forehead against yours with his best pout, tugging at your heartstrings.

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to contain your excitement for what was about to come, but failed miserably and let a happy smile creep up on your lips. You locked your hands behind his head, giggled at him and bit your lip.

“You’re forgiven. This time. BUT you have to make it up to me.” You decided, eyes looking up for a moment in thought to tease him. He slowly started moving towards the bed that was in the center of the room before he spoke up.

“And how would you like me to make it up to you baby?” He said as he began kissing your neck softly, trailing around your mate mark with a grin plastered on his face.

“Well for starters, you can fuck me senseless until I forget what I was even mad at you for to begin with.” You confirmed, tilting your head to the side to give him a bit more access to your exposed neck.

“With pleasure my love.” And with that, he fell to the bed with you in his arms, careful not to crush you in the process before he got to work on his promise.

(Updated 8/23)

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Cooking class

Word count: 2109     

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: Very minor injury (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: Hey! I saw your post for a request and this idea popped into my head. Y/n is a fantastic cook, they can do everything right and make great food all the time, while Natasha usually sets towels on fire when they try. Y/n suggests that Natasha enrolls in a cooking class, and does it with them so Natasha doesn't feel so bad. Y/n ends up rewarding Natasha with little kisses and 'good job!'s for the things they do well in class, and eating bits and pieces of the foods they mess up to prove that it's still edible and they're learning

Summary: Natasha is a horrible cook so reader takes Natasha to a cooking class.

A/n: So this was an anon request so I hope whoever requested this likes it! Also this is the second fic in two days which may not seem like a big deal but I actually feel productive for once. Anyways I hope everyone enjoys and I hope to finish some of my other requests soon in case anyone is wondering, and I’m always open for new requests. 

Natasha let out a frustrated sound so you looked over, trying not to laugh at your girlfriend but failing spectacularly. 

“It’s not funny.” She whines looking over at you with an annoyed expression.

“Sorry love,” you respond, “keep going I promise not to interrupt again.” She narrows her eyes at you but turns back to her task. She’s preparing some pizza dough that she is going to use later on in the class and honestly you never thought someone could mess up on pizza dough that much. There is dough literally everywhere, the sink, counters, floor and even her face. The most funny thing however is how she is completely covered in flour from when she opened the bag wrong and it flew into her face. Surprisingly she agreed easily when you had suggested the idea, because she wanted to help out in the kitchens sometimes but she was banned from everything but the toaster for a reason the avengers called the pie incident but refused to speak further on when asked. 

You glance back over at her to see how it’s going and although everything still is a mess it seems like she has managed to combine all the ingredients properly into a ball and is now kneading it. You step towards her and give her a hug from behind, not caring that flour was now getting all over you as well. 

“Good job Tasha,” you whisper in her ear. You pull back and when you look at her face you see a slight hint of a blush. She rarely blushes but you always find it so cute when she does so you decide to make it your personal mission to get her to blush as much as possible today. She is just setting aside the dough to rise when the instructor speaks again. 

“I see that most of you have already finished, or are just finishing up with your dough and setting it aside. From what I can tell it looks like everybody is doing well so far, however before we can continue everybody should make sure their workstation is clear.” As he says the last part he seems to look mostly at your workstation as well as the one diagonally in front of you, which are by far the two most messy. 

Natasha starts clearing up the station while you brush as much flour as you can off of your clothes and wash your hands. As she continues to clear you grab a wet cloth and gently wipe down her face and arms to get rid of all the dough and flour. It takes awhile for the both of you and your workstation to be clear and once it is you realize everybody else is finished and waiting for you. 

“Ok now that everybody is done,” this time he obviously glances your way, “we are going to prepare some of the toppings for later. This part shouldn’t be hard so just follow along with the recipe and ask for help if you need it.” Natasha picks up the recipe and you read over her shoulder. 

“How about I help you with the topping but you do most of it?” You ask her. “We’ll both help cut up the peaches and make the balsamic sauce. This class is meant to be teaching you and not me after all.”

“Sounds good,” she replies while taking a peach and placing it on the cutting board. She starts to chop but she keeps slicing way too thick at the top and way too thin at the bottom. You giggle slightly and she narrows her eyes at you scowling and puts down the knife.

“I’m not laughing at you Nat, I promise.” You explain. “Well I am but can you blame me? You are a crazy good assassin that probably can kill me easily with that knife in many different ways yet you can’t cut a peach properly.”

“I still don’t see how that is funny.” She huffs but with a hint of a smile. 

“I’m sorry, here let me help you.” You grab her hands and guide them into making steady cuts. When the first peach is fully cut up you step back again. 

“Why don’t you try to do the next one on your own?” You suggest. She nods and starts to cut seeming a little unsure of herself. While it’s not perfect it’s much better than the first time so when she finishes you let out a small cheer and kiss her on the cheek. She gives a hesitant smile which you’ve learned means she feels good about herself but doesn’t know how to express it properly. You cut the rest of the peaches in silence, her slices gradually getting better. 

“You’ve already improved so much!” You praise her, your heart melting when you see her smile and blush. “Why don’t you try the next part on your own?”

“Ok,” she answers, “I think I can do this part.” She starts mixing a few of the ingredients for the balsamic glaze and you, thinking she had it under control, start to glance around because you want to see how the others in the class are doing. 

“Eeekk!” You hear Natasha squeal so you quickly look back over at her. The glaze is splashed all over the front of her and splattered all over the counter. 

“What happened?” You ask, this time managing to only laugh inwardly as to not offend her.

“I thought if I mixed it as fast as I could the ingredients would combine faster,” she states, “but then this happened.” 

You fight hard to keep your straight face, “Tasha, love, that’s not how cooking works.” 

“Well I know that now.” She responds in an annoyed tone. 

“I know and it’s okay, you can just redo it while I clean this up, does that sound good?” She nods and starts finding the ingredients she needs again while you take some paper towel and clear up the counter. Unfortunately you can’t do anything about the mess on Natasha’s shirt but luckily she purposefully wore a shirt she didn’t mind getting messy. 

“Everybody should be just about done by now,” the instructor says, gathering the attention of the class, “Right now I want you to put flour on your counters and start to split your dough up to make the flat breads. Then you can put some topping on and pop them in the oven, make sure not to burn them.” The rest of the class immediately gets to work but before you or Natasha can start the instructor comes up to you.

“I’m sorry to bother you but I’ve noticed that you’ve been having some trouble, so don’t be afraid to ask for any help,” he says, “it is my job.” Natasha is obviously not pleased by what he said and scowls at him, opening her mouth to speak.

“Thank you, we will.” You say quickly before Natasha says something rude. He nods and turns away to go back to the front. 

“I wasn’t doing that badly.” Natasha states. 

“Don’t worry about it, let’s move onto the next step, why don’t you preheat the oven?” You respond to her, avoiding her statement because she really was doing ‘that badly’. She grabs the flour and opens it, this time making sure that she doesn’t get it all over, and then starts to put it on the counter. Meanwhile you get the dough and split it up into two pieces, one pizza for each of you. 

“I’m going to be bad at this part.” She says with a small frown.

“No, no, no, don’t say that Tasha,” you rush to encourage her, “this part is the best part because it’s so fun, and it’s impossible to mess up!” 

“If you say she.” She says doubtfully and you laugh. Both of you get to work, at first just playing with the dough in your hands to get a feel for it and after that using a rolling pin to flatten the dough. When you’re finished you take a step back to admire your work.

“Huh, it doesn’t look that bad.” Natasha decides. 

“It looks amazing, I knew you could do it Tasha!” You exclaim while hugging her side and pressing a few quick, light kisses to the side of her neck. 

“I mean it’s not a huge deal.” She blushes. 

“Still, it’s pretty good,” you tell her, “but now we need to focus on putting our topping on.”

She giggles. “You say that like it’s something that requires a lot of thought.”

You gasp dramatically. “Ms. Romanoff, the presentation is the most important part of the dish, it requires a lot of attention to detail.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how I forgot!” She plays along. “Why would the actual cooking part matter when you can focus on making them look good?”

“Exactly.” You tell her before both of you get to work, putting all the topping on the flatbread.

As much as you joked about it you tried to make yours look as good as possible and when you were done although it didn’t look perfect you were satisfied with how it looked. At least until you glanced over to see how Natasha did. 

“How did you manage to make yours look like it should be in a cookbook?” You ask her, truly amazed by how pleasing it looks and not even knowing how she can make something as average as topping look like art. She just blushes and shrugs, pleased with herself but not wanting to admit it out loud. 

“Anyways we should probably get them in the oven now because it looks like others are starting to.” You tell her.

“Of course, I’ll put them in!” She replies quickly, transferring the flatbreads onto two trays and shoving them in the oven. You lean over after she shuts the door and set the timer but when you look back at her and smile, you see she is standing by the sink with the water running over her hand. 

“Tasha are you ok?” You ask, immediately rushing over to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just a small burn.” You examine her hand and it doesn’t look as small as most burns people get from cooking but then again Natasha gets injured all the time so this probably isn’t a big deal to her. 

“Ok, but just make sure to take care of it.”

“I will don’t worry, I swear I’m the only one on the team who actually knows how to take care of themself sometimes. Remember the time Tony forgot to eat and collapsed?” You laugh at what she said. Although in the moment it was scary, in hindsight it was a funny story to tell. 

The two of you keep bringing up old avengers moments and exchanging mission stories until you hear the timer beep. Everybody seems to have put their flatbreads in at the same time because there must be at least ten timers going off and it’s so loud you can’t even think. Luckily Natasha doesn’t seem to have the same problem because she grabs oven mitts this time so she doesn’t burn herself again and pulls the flatbreads out of the oven.

Her face falls when she sees them. The one on the top shelf, although somewhat crispy looking, seems fine but the one on the bottom shelf is practically black on the bottom.

“How did this happen?” She asks. You take a moment to think because the only way it could have happened was if Natasha had preheated the oven to the wrong temperature but you don’t want to discourage her. 

“Well maybe you accidentally set the wrong temperature,” you tell her gently, deciding to be truthful, “it doesn’t matter though, because it still looks great!” She attempts a smile but looks thoroughly unconvinced. In order to try to make her feel better you grab the knife from earlier and cut a tiny piece off the edge. Your first instinct is to make a face when you put it in your mouth because it really does taste bad but you smile through that. 

“See Tasha? It’s fine.” 

“Y/n, it’s ok I know it’s bad and while I’m disappointed I’m not upset,” she says, “thank you for trying to cheer me up anyways.”

“Ok, fine I have to admit it was pretty burnt. But the other one looks good and besides I’m sure whatever we make next week will turn out better.” Her eyes widen and her mouth opens and you laugh at her. 

“Next week? Y/n, we’re doing this again next week???”

[kuronanox]

Our little secret-Kaien Shiba

"Kaien Shiba my super hot professor."

(Your Name) day dreams with brightful eyes as she sighs and smiles sheepishly.

"(Last Name)!" Kaien shouts smacking her desk with his rolled up paper as she flinched and looks up to him. His brows were knit and focused. "If you keep day dreaming you'll fall behind!"

"Ahh I'm sorry." She apologizes and bows her head respectfully as he laughs and grins.

"I'm joking, but seriously you should try to concentrate more."

(Your Name) chuckles and mentally screams, her tiny heart would hurt if he actually yelled at her.

"Wait he knows my name?!"

She looks back up and Kaien was already at the chalk board lecturing on the next chapter. With one hand on his hip and the other writing some unknown language on the board.

"Concentrate concentrate concentrate!"

She tries to smack her face lightly as she looks lower to stare at his butt and blushes a bit yelping as the students around her stared and she looked down embarrassed.

Once lecture was done she sighed from exhaustion and packed her bag before her name was called out.

"(Last Name)." Kaien calls out as most of the student cleared out of his lecture room and she mentally cursed.

"Yes sensei?" (Your Name) asks staring at her feet interested with the patterns of her new shoes.

"You can look up." He laughs a bit with both his hand on his hips. His tie moving along with his laugh and his tucked in shirt was so irresistible for her she licked her lips. "Anyways I was looking back at some of your test scores and you are falling behind! Is everything alright?" He asks now a bit concerned.

"No! Everything is fine! I'm just not understanding the material and I don't wanna stop class because of my selfish reasons."

Kaien pokes her forehead and grunts, lightly hitting the roll of paper on her head. "Everyone is here to learn. I guarantee someone else have the same question as you too."

(Your Name) goes back to looking at her shoes shyly as the older man sighs but in a concerning way. "How about I tutor you for 30 min after class each day you are here. Monday, Wednesday, Friday." His eyes raising for her answer as she slowly nods.

"I'm sure you are a busy man and I don't have money for a tutor."

"Don't worry about it, my students come first." He assures her with a smile as she smiles back.

"Jesus he's gorgeous! I can't believe he offered to help me learn on his own time for free!"

"I'll see you next week then!" Kaien cheers smacking her head once again before walking out the classroom.

The following weekend for her was so slow because she was excited to spend one on one time with him.

"He's my professor though! It would be wrong to like him! I'm sure he's married or dating already! I mean I should be too because I'm a junior year college student but still a teacher and student relationship would be to spicy."

Throwing her pillow across the room she squirmed in her bed like a fan girl. "A girl can dream though."

Composing herself she went onto her phone and searched through all social media to "research" him some more but she found nothing.

"Maybe he doesn't use social media? He ain't that old yet though." Putting her phone aside she closed her eyes and waited for Monday to come quickly.

Lecture time came as she sat towards the front of the class to concentrate more. Still this chapter and chapters before overlapped each other and she felt super lost and defeated.

Kaien would teach and sometimes look at her direction and from the expression on her face he knew she was struggling. Once the classroom cleared out he arranged his desk to be more roomy for her to set her things down.

"Cha! Are you ready?" He asks enthusiastically opening up his notes from a few chapters back.

She smiled and sat next to him as they got to work.

Over the course of their their tutoring sessions 30 minutes turned to 40, till it reached an hour and then till after dark.

Kaien didn't realized how much he was enjoyed her company that at times they would get off subject and just talked about themselves or their likes.

"I didn't think a 30 year old man would actually enjoy tutoring." He says to her as she gasped picking up her book bag and getting ready to leave their session.

"To be fair I didn't think a 22 year old girl would need tutoring."

Kaien waved her off, closing his classroom up. Looking out the window it was pouring all day. "Did you park in the garage today?" He asks putting his coat on.

"I did actually!"

"Me too, we can walk together."

The walk was normal it didn't seem like a teacher and student relationship, it was more like friends now. To Kaien there was nothing wrong with opening up your options even though he had none.

"You are still young (Your Name) go to parties and have fun." He tells her as she looks up to him, his eyes showed a bit of sadness but she couldn't figure out what.

"30 isn't old! But then again to see your professor at a party would be kinda sus."

Kaien chuckles and shook his head as they made it to the elevator. It was silent but her heart was racing.

They've spent a lot of time with each other since he offered to tutor her but she wanted to know him more. There was a part of him she could tell was missing.

"How was your college life?"

"Wild I did so many things." He tells her placing his hands in his pockets.

"Ahh me too, there are some pretty crazy frat parties." She tells him lightly as he laughs out loud.

"Tell me about it! I've been to plenty."

As they enter the garage, the rain started to pour harder as lightning mixed with the clouds.

"Will you be okay getting home in this rain?"

"Don't worry! I can wait it off on campus." She assures him as he shakes in head and unlock his car, opening his passenger seat.

"You wanna go to the bar? It's only a block down. We can wait it off there and then I'll drive you back to your car."

A part of her wanted to say no only because it seemed wrong to be drinking with her professor but she knew she wasn't a minor or some kid. It was totally fine and it wasn't like she was sleeping with him for better grades.

With a bright smile she gladly took a seat. "Sure!"

To her surprise the bar was pretty busy and it was blasting with music and people all ages mingling. He asked for a booth and took a seat across from her.

"He has to be interested if he took me to a bar or even offered to go out!"

Looking at the menu Kaien offered to pay for the night.

"Don't worry about it! I'm sure we are hungry also, it's been a long day."

(Your Name) was hesitant at first but gave in only because he wouldn't let her pay for nothing since he invited her out. They had a few rounds of drinks and it was easy for her to talk to him because Kaien was pretty open about everything.

"Yeah I remember falling down the stairs at a frat house blacked out in the bathtub after trying to get home." He tells her laughing his ass off thinking about his college days.

"Yeah it took 7 people to carry me out the house, I was dead weight and woke up in my friends house with different clothes." (Your Name) says sharing her side of stories as well.

"So you're a drinker? I wouldn't have thought." Kaien states as he drank the rest of his water. (Your Name) looks at her watch, it was about to hit midnight and the rain was slowing down enough to drive in.

"It's getting kinda late, I'm pretty sure your family is waiting for you." She says nonchalantly without realizing it may have been a sensitive topic.

Kaien slightly frowns but not enough to show discomfort. He kindly smiles to her after and says "no family, it's just me and I."

Her eyes widen in realization as she quickly apologized and bowed her head. He chuckles and ruffles her hair. "Don't worry, no offense taken. It gets lonely at times but I bare with it. Come on I'll drive you to your car."

The whole night they went out he was a gentleman, opening the car door and the bar door. Holding her bag and paying for dinner. It felt nice.

As they rode back she had to ask him, she wanted to know what this was.

"Kaien?" She asks and the way his name came off her lips felt foreign.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think this is weird? Going out to drink with one of your students and spending a lot of time with me even after tutoring me?"

There was a silence for a moment before he spoke truthfully.

"At first I was skeptical but we are both adults and what we decide to do shouldn't have to matter with imagine or what people think. That means yes I enjoy your company and I do like you."

(Your Name) blushed a bit, he admit to like spending time with her and hinted he didn't wanna stop either.

"How'd you know I like you?"

He smirks and shakes his head before pulling into the garage. "Word spreads fast around my students apparently."

Turning off his car Kaien walked her into her car so she would get home safely.

"(Your Name) if it's out of your comfort zone we could always try after you graduate." He seriously says to her leaning into her window as she gulped to how close he was to her.

"No I don't feel uncomfortable, I just didn't think this would actually be happening."

"Expect the unexpected." He says as she chuckles to how corny that was. "It can be our little secret for a while." Kaien adds with a toothy grin and she smiles.

"Yeah, our little secret for a while."

(Author Note: idk why I feel like I could make this one shot better but then it would turn to a whole story)

[childishfluff]

(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!

- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)

- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)

- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)

- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)

- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)

- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)

those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻

OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL

1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur

yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing. 

I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!

also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know

2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo

someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that. 

anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable! 

3. Kitten Regressor!Karl

tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off. 

and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:

“What do you want?”

“Meowww”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)

“Do you want cuddles?”

*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*

and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept

4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap

okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!

and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him

5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo

yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet. 

I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him. 

“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?” 

and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!

it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think! 

6. Cat Regressor! Dream

awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)

and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute. 

and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny

Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3

[retvenkos]

“how do you say ‘i love you’ in french?”

requested BUCKLE IN, FRIENDS, BECAUSE WE’RE HOPPING THROUGH REALITIES TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE DATING FINCH CORTEZ IN A MODERN! HIGH SCHOOL AU...

first of all, finch is on the track team and is that special kind of jock where he has jock level confidence but is also an obnoxious nerd, so he’s too dorky to be a jock™ but also far too jock-like to be anything else

it’s about the soft interior and the fake bravado, amirite?

and since he’s on the track team, you can always catch him after school, running around the school.

(my high school had a lot of stairs, so the track team was always running up and down them, going up one hall and down the next. dodging pedestrians was an added challenge, ig)

before you were dating, whenever he would run past you, he would say hi and give you the biggest smile. sometimes he’d give you a compliment (mostly about your accent in french class, because he’s terrible and the two of you share the class). once you start dating, thought, he’ll tell you the most terrible pick up line you’ve ever heard. romeo told them to him. double points if it’s in french (and you get to laugh while he slaughters the accent)

but also.... you know what dating a jock means...... you get to steal his track sweatshirts.

at some point, finch finally wises up and buys an extra one so that he doesn’t have to steal it back every time he needs to wear it the day before a match for team morale.

sometimes, though, you’ll steal both and finch will have to barter with you to give it back. a sure way is to promise that you’ll be able to choose where you go get food at lunch, because istg, every day you end up going to subway. finch is the poster boy for subway sandwiches, and no one even knows why.

there’s only so much sandwich you can take..... 

also,,,,, may i suggest to you,,,,, sitting on the bleachers of the school and watching the sun set or rise.

finch wakes up at ungodly hours in the morning, so if you’re a morning person (or if he can just convince you to go with him) you’ll stop to get coffee and bagels and you’ll just watch the sun come up, joking in bright tones, your knees touching and your smiles wide.

alternatively, you convince finch to sit on the bleachers with you and watch the sun go down while you snack on french fries or shakes, and you get to talk in hushed tones, and deal with a sleepy finch, who likes to rest his head on your shoulder.

but i figure you guys go on a lot of casual or impromptu dates. 

like, you guys are constantly going to outdoor malls, just milling about and trying on ridiculous hats and sunglasses from various stores. you guys take a lot of photos, but finch is actually really bad at composition, so the ones that turn out are always yours.

or finch will text you randomly and be like, “do you want to go to the park?” and you’ll text back, “i have history homework :(” and he’ll tell you that if you go to the park with him, he’ll tell you everything you need to know about the byzantine empire.

so canon era finch uses a slingshot, yeah? well, we all know that little finch had a slingshot in this au, but when he gets older.... finch gets really into paintball.

you guys go together on at least one (1) date, and at first your on the same team (probably against tommy boy and hot shot) and you win by a landslide. the second match tho, you’re on your own and you get hit so bad. finch is a sharpshooter and he’s fast. he’s untouchable. there was no way you were ever going to get out of there alive.

oh, but remember how i said the two of you were in french together? well, the  l a s t  thing you ever want to do is partner with him on an assignment. 

because partnered assignments usually involve presenting, right? well, finch gets the worst nerves you’ve ever seen, and most times he’ll try to skip out entirely. other times, it’s beyond his control and he has to miss class for track. either way, it spells disaster for you.

and also, finch 100% doesn’t care if you don’t partner with him for an assignment (tbh, he probably encourages that you don’t) so not choosing him is kind of the way to go.

but since it’s been a running gag that all of the newsies have english together, you clearly have this class as well and... i’m so sorry....

on the one hand, it’s a riot of fun. there’s always something happening, and finch is always holding your hand beneath the desk, rubbing his hands over your knuckles

he’ll always volunteer to read during the shakespeare unit, and half of it is so he can be the one to make all of the d*ck jokes, but it’s also so he can do the overly dramatic soliloquies that make you stifle a laugh (his favorite sound), or so he can make the teasing one liners and toss a wink your way, or even do romantic declarations of love. he can be so over the top, and it can be so endearing.

also,,,, if you two were to ever do a benedick and beatrice scene.... i’m not saying it would be iconic, but it would be iconic.

you definitely suffer a lot of teasing in this english class, but i have no doubt you can dish it out just as quickly as they serve it, and it’s one of the many reasons why finch looks at you and he’s just... starstruck.

also! i have this very important headcanon where i think the two of you walk to school or like... idk take public transit together or something. i just think it’s very important that the two of you spend time together in the mornings, listening to music together and sharing trail mix or pop-tarts in the mornings where everything is still a little misty, but the sun is coming up, and there is anticipation in each of finch’s steps.

also,,,, i know for a fact that you call him your songbird, and it’s inevitable that jack and race call the two of you ~lovebirds~ and then romeo tries his best impression at a bird call (finch is way better at them, and it only fuels the fire)

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

taglist: @lotsoffandomrecs, @neelia-thedaughtherof-athena, @catsbooksandmusic, @amortensie, @captainshazamerica // add yourself to the taglist here!

[bullshittierlists]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA V3 (and probably the other games, too, just to be safe)

So, just as a heads up, I made this list a few months ago, I think in the middle of chapter 4. I was going to update it, but I realized that any feelings I had were just made stronger and the list was still relatively accurate. Here are my thoughts:

I see no god up here other than me

Kirumi Tojo - As you may know about me, I can typically tell who my favorite characters are going to be before I indulge myself in a series. This has especially rung true throughout Danganronpa, I was able to correctly guess Taka and Gundham as my respective favorites before actually seeing them in action. Let me tell you that Kirumi surprised me. I originally guessed K1-B0 as my favorite and while he’s still up there, he is nowhere near Kirumi. I realized she was my favorite the moment chapter 2 ended. Not only were her execution and plan wonderful and brilliantly done, her last-ditch plea to convince everyone to let her live sold her for me. Not only did this plea make sense, it almost worked and I kinda wish it would’ve. Her motive was almost completely selfless and she worked damn hard to escape. Her execution was the only time I cried during this game because I wanted so badly for her to escape, but I knew that all of her efforts were futile. I know her biggest criticism is that her plan from hiding Ryoma’s body was completely unnecessary, but I like to believe she was just nervous and overthought the whole thing. I mean, this had to go perfectly in order for her to save her country, of course she’s going to add a few too many steps.

Miu Iruma - Okay, I know this is going to sound fake, but I actually really love the dichotomy of her character. The way that she acts so self-righteous but is actually quite self-conscious really stood out to me. Of course she’s funny and hot, too, but I feel it’s important to really appreciate the way her character was written. It amazes me that she was written to be the least likable character in the entire series and still ended up being one of my favorites.

You’re the best

K1-B0 - Yes, I type out his name every time. As I already mentioned, he was my original guess for favorite character, but it obviously didn’t work out that way. He stayed in his position of first for a while, but I always knew it wasn’t meant to last, I just didn’t know which character would take his place. Even besides my doubts, I still love K1-B0, I just wish more could’ve been done with him in the earlier chapters. There are several opportunities for him to be a really funny character and have good interactions with Kokichi and Miu, but he just comes off as annoying. I feel like he only really started to be utilized after Miu died with Monotaro and I really enjoyed their dynamic, I just wish we could’ve had some of this side of K1-B0 before this point.

Kokichi Oma - This spot probably isn’t as subjective as I’d like it to be. Every time Kokichi was on screen, I would get visibly annoyed, but I knew I was in for a treat figuring out his deeper intents behind what he’s saying. The only reason I really like Kokichi at all is because he’s fun to analyze. It gets boring to analyze Nagito because his motivation is pretty much just a mix of “hope” and “he’s crazy.” Kokichi’s character trait of lying makes it so fun to individually analyze each of his lines to figure out whether he’s telling the truth and why or why not. Other than that, I guess he has some funny dialogue with Miu sometimes.

Gonta Gokuhara - I really don’t know. I know this is way too early to be unsure about characters, but I just know I couldn’t put him any lower, but I also couldn’t put him any higher. He’s just such a sweetheart, but that’s about where the substance ends. I adored every time he was on my screen, but everything that would’ve been fun to analyze about him just leads back to Kokichi. I still really enjoy his presence, though. I’d like a big Gonta hug.

Kaede Akamatsu - I’ll just say it, I think she would’ve made for a better protagonist. I’ll talk about this later, but Shuichi’s character development doesn’t really feel like it goes anywhere and the twist doesn’t feel worth it because of that. I think the twist should still have been incorporated, but with the roles reversed. Either way, we got what we got, and what we got was tears from Clair de Lune. But seriously, she really is a great pianist. I’ve been trying to learn the piece for ages and it’s still too complicated for me. I mean, it’s in 9/8 for God’s sake. Good for her, regardless.

Tenko Chabashira - Tenko’s a weird case. I didn’t actually care for her that much until quite literally a few lines before she died. Fun fact: I spoiled this entire series for myself before I ended up playing it and I’m still mad at myself. This meant that I was just waiting for all of the deaths to happen, especially Tenko’s. I was fully aware that every line could be her last during the seance, but I wasn’t aware that she would pull on my heart strings before she went. When she tells Himiko that she’ll do the seance in her place so she can talk to Angie, I literally almost started crying. Before this, Tenko was just kind of annoying, but not too bad, but this moment really solidified her spot for me. She really just wanted to help Himiko and I wish she had chosen a better target for her affections.

Hey, I think you’re pretty cool, I like you a lot

Shuichi Saihara - Time to elaborate on what I said for Kaede. I actually really enjoyed Shuichi’s character development throughout the first three chapters. Before coming to Hope’s Peak, he was afraid to hurt people with his detective skills. Kaede notices this and helps him through it, passing the reins to Kaito once she passes. Shuichi convicts Kaede and later Kirumi, much to everyone’s detriment, but they’re all okay with it (Nobody was really super sad about Korekiyo to begin with, lol). Then, starting in chapter 4, everyone just kinda flips on him. Shuichi + the rest of the gang - Kokichi all believe that Gonta is innocent and Shuichi tries to prove this. Instead of supporting him, everyone (especially Kaito) tries to... stop him??? from proving it??? They’re all just in agreement that it wasn’t Gonta, but don’t want to proceed with the investigation to figure out who it was instead. It’s really frustrating and made my overall experience much less enjoyable. This is bumped up a few notches in chapter 5 with Maki. I understand that she was part of the whole case, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying that she won’t let me prove Kaito was the victim. It just feels like the character development was all for nothing and every student feels like a human obstacle (except K1-B0, of course). Still relatable and emo, though.

Rantaro Amami - I would make the joke everyone expects, but I’m on my laptop and I don’t know how to get to the emoji keyboard.

Ryoma Hoshi - I genuinely don’t have anything to say about Ryoma. He’s my halfway point because I don’t have anything particularly for him and I don’t have anything particularly against him, either. Go off, funky little cat man.

Kaito Momota - He got on my nerves in chapter 4, but he was a genuinely sweet character that I really enjoyed talking to. Any time he would talk about the stars, I would swoon because he’s just such a natural romantic. Not really my type, though. Very average.

Monophanie - Legally you can’t ask me why the monokubs are where they are. She’s voiced by Natalie Hoover (Sonia) and I guess that’s my only reasoning.

Monotaro - I really just liked his interactions with K1-B0 in chapter 4. Other than that, I greatly disliked his and Monophanie’s presence in Gonta’s execution. 0/10 worst use for monokubs.

Monodam - A nice, non-distracting addition to Korekiyo’s execution. But he had so much potential and just threw it all away. Apparently I’m a basketball dad from a high school movie now.

I remember you

Angie Yonaga - Many times, I’ve found myself asking who I ship from the series and this love triangle comes to mind. Of Angie, Himiko, and Tenko... I only really like Tenko. I don’t hate Angie’s cult stuff as much as everyone else seems to, but she didn’t have nearly enough of a presence for me to latch onto outside of the cult stuff, which was funny, I will admit.

Maki Harukawa - I was so excited the whole game for her to get cool. I knew she was going to get cool, I just didn’t know when or how. But then, it was chapter 5 already and she hadn’t gotten cool in my eyes yet. I was really meh on her by that chapter anyway, but her being annoying really knocked her down a few pegs. She got a couple extra points for surprising me during the case, but not enough to bump her up any spots.

Himiko Yumeno - I was rooting for her to be crushed under the rock at the end. She was fine before chapter 3, but then they tried to develop her with the Akane treatment and it didn’t work for me at all. She just got on my nerves during the third trial and continued to contribute nothing throughout the rest of the game. During chapter 5 and 6, it’s like the writers just completely forgot that she was there. This would’ve been fine if they weren’t the last couple of chapters and she was one of about 6 people left alive. She had a role to play and didn’t play it in the slightest. The most she was utilized after chapter 3 was as Miu’s replacement post-chapter 5. Someone needed to fill the dirty jokes quota and I guess Himiko was chosen. #GiveTenkoABetterLoveInterest2021

Monosuke - The only thing I remember him doing throughout the entire game was distract me from Kirumi’s exectuion. Not a fan.

You are the worst. Literal scum. Leave this planet and never return

Korekiyo Shinguji - Okay, listen. He’s not that bad. His design is actually one of the best, in my opinion and I love his dedication to his craft. However, he just creeps me out whenever he’s on screen and I’d prefer not to be around him. It’s not even the sister thing, I honestly think that’s funny and a nice change of pace, but his overall demeanor is creepy. Not to mention he’s played by Todd Haberkorn and he’s been in one too many roles recently. Hopefully I’ll get over it, but as for now, that loses him points.

Tsumugi Shirogane - I know, not exactly an unpopular opinion. She’s just annoying and downright pisses me off a lot of the time with her “plain” shtick. I already knew she was going to be the mastermind, so most of the game was just me waiting for her to reveal it. I swear, I almost couldn’t take it every time she said something like, “What if there isn’t a mastermind?” “What?? There’s a mastermind????” Just stfu Tsumugi. You all are lucky I don’t have the energy to talk about 3-6 right now.

Monokid - Hate the tongue sprite, that’s literally the only reason he’s down here. He’s also kind of annoying, but made the best addition to an execution out of all of the monokubs. His death was one of the few things that surprised me in this game and it was a welcome twist. I was sick of him by this point, but was still incredibly shocked when he was pushed into the execution. Then, his severed head rolls out to all of the students looking on in shock at Kaede’s death. Masterful. Still hate the tongue sprite.

There we go. Definitely my least favorite cast out of the whole series, but it’s still fun to love on and hate on a lot of the characters, as per usual. There are just a few too many in the middle tier (metaphorically speaking) that are either uninteresting or just don’t get their time to shine. Maybe they’ll eventually grow on me more, but I doubt it.

[gay-otlc]

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 4)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, descriptions of disturbing images, lmk if I should add something else.

Notes: thon/thons Fitz, ae/aer Biana, ce/cer Livvy, my beloveds

Read on AO3

Fitz Vacker used to like the color teal. Thon wasn't entirely sure why; well, it was just a nice color, what other reasoning did thon need? Regardless, no matter how much thon liked teal, thon was in no way prepared for... that.

Against thons better judgement, thon had listened when thons sistaer Biana insisted they watch this new show, Keepers of the Chaos, with aer, Della, and Della's then-fiancee-now-spouce Livvy. Thon enjoyed the show, sure, but the chaos... the chaos in that show. It had been expected, of course, but not that much. Considering that, Lynn was the character that resonated most with thon, because her attempts to get the keepers under control felt a lot like when Fitz had to deal with Biana, Keefe, and Sophie... and the headache those three gave thon. Especially when Dex came into the mix as well.

Yeah, Lynn resonated with Fitz a lot, and thon sometimes wondered how she dealt with such chaotic spice. Being aroace, that was one problem thon wouldn't have to deal with. But unfortunately, thon still had chaotic friends, and turned to analyses of Lynn's motivations to cope, writing elaborate dumbles essays about the way she tried her best to record the events of the keepers and round them up. Thons other favorites, like Jan and Appie, were also fun to write analyses about, but with considerably less projection.

(There were a few characters thon didn't even have to project Judaism onto, like Sam and Ref, which was a welcome change from usual process.)

But no matter how much chaos Fitz had to deal with on Biana, Sophie, and Keefe's part, at least they hadn't started the Finnapocolypse.

...yet.

Oh, season one, episode nine. The season finale. Fitz had really expected some sort of battle with Pinterest High School, made a compilation of all the foreshadowing, and thon would have much preferred that.

The intro, as always, had been great. Things went downhill quickly. Unaware of the consequences, someone joked that Finn, the elf who found Sophie, was like Dobby saying "You're an elf, Sophia." Then, some horrible monster suggested that they photoshop Finn's trademark teal eyes onto Dobby's face.

It was like an explosion had taken place among the Keepers. Around half the fandom went mad and jumped on the chaos train, editing Finn's teal eyes onto any image they could get their hands on; John Cena, Shannon Messenger, the Mona Lisa, a cracker, and so much more. Many of them even wore sleep masks with teal eyes over their faces, temporarily blinding them, but they considered it worth it. The other half simply watched, with opinions varying from amusement to absolute horror.

Biana found it hilarious. Fitz... slightly less so. It was a love hate relationship with that episode, and really with that whole show.

As though he'd summoned aer, Biana's voice called "Oh Fitzy!" Ae appeared in thons doorway soon after.

"Yeah?" thon said.

"Guess what today is!"

Fitz racked thons brain. "Shit, is it your birthday?"

"No."

"Mom's birthday?"

"Still no."

"Uh... Livvy's birthday?"

"No, though cer birthday is coming up next month, so do keep that in mind."

"It can't be their anniversary, they got married last June and it's January, so..."

"It's January eighteenth!"

"What does that signify?"

"THE FINNAPOCALYPSE!!!" Biana yelled. "It happened January eighteenth in the show, remember?"

"You're a dedicated fan."

"So are you, you just don't like the Finnapocalypse."

"Fair. But you are making a pretty big deal out of this."

"Well..." Fitz sighed as ae continued. "Keefe and I had this idea."

"No."

"You didn't even let me finish!"

"Hell no."

"Check dumbles! And you need to change your profile pic!"

A gnawing feeling of dread grew in thons gut, but thon wanted confirmation, so thon sighed and picked up thons phone, logging onto thons dumbles, @lordofthesnuggles, and went do the dashboard. Everyone's profile picture had Finn's teal eyes edited on. Fitz sighed and logged off.

"Oh, you can't escape just by escaping dumbles! Come downstairs!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Mom made ripplefluffs to lure you out."

"Dammit!" said Fitz. It... it worked. As thon walked into the kitchen, thon questioned thons choices; were ripplefluffs worth this? Livvy had a teal eye sleeping mask on cer face, and handed Biana one. Ae put it over aer eyes. With a sigh, Della handed Fitz a ripplefluff. Thon took a bite and buried thons head in thons hands. "Why are y'all like this," thon groaned.

Biana ignored thon, singing out "We're gonna have teal eyes in the end!"

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow.