#the librarians incorrect quotes

[queenofglassbeliever]

Skittles commercial: Taste the rainbow.

Cassandra, a synesthete: Say less.

[tildeathiwillread]

Eve: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

[angelwiththeblue-box]

cassandra: what's the difference between a zygote and a gamete? ezekiel: don't fall for it, jake, she's just making up words

[ask-the-almighty-google]

Eve: Hello?

Ezekiel: It’s Ezekiel

Eve: What did he do?

Ezekiel: No, it’s me, Ezekiel!

Eve: What did you do?

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Duke: Jason, the only person who thinks you're a "bad boy" is you

Jason: I do illegal stuff all the time

Tim: So do we, we're vigilantes, remember?

Jason: I break into buildings- as a civilian!

Duke: Correction; you stay in libraries after hours, with permission, to read.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: That’s it? That’s all you saw?

Barbara: No, Bruce, I’m withholding pertinent information for fun.

[fandomnerd9602]

Librarian!Wanda drags Y/N to a small hidden area…

Wanda: no one ever comes back this way (giggles)

Y/N: promise you can be quiet

Wanda: m-me?

Y/N caresses her face, gently removing her glasses…

Y/N: you’re so beautiful

Wanda: n-no one’s ever called me-

Y/N kisses her softly, Wanda just melts…

One of Y/N’s hand moves lower and lower…

Wanda: (moans) oh my-!

Y/N cover her mouth with their free hand and continues pleasuring her…

[mimisempai]

Up for some gossip in The Dreaming ?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

Splendorman: Has anyone found the occult section of Slender's library??

Jeff, walking in thoroughly shaken and covered in sticky spiderweb: Yeah, I got them. They were mixed in with the French cookbooks.

Jeff, slamming occult books down on table: And its INFESTED with fucking spiders!

Splendor: Ah. Well, spiders are our garden friends, Jeff-

Jeff: Splendor. They were 3 feet long.

Splendor: .. ah.

Splendor: I'll order some bug spray.

[myloveforfanfictonisendless]

Megatron: Optimus did you read my "personal" data pad of unpublished poems?😒😒😒

Optimus: no my love , what made you ask the question?🤓🤓🤓

Megatron: Because you corrected all of my spelling errors....😑😑

Optimus:😅😅😅😅force of habit.. sorry

[queenofglassbeliever]

Ezekiel: Baird! Stone hit me.

Eve: What am I, your bodyguard? Hit him back.

[tildeathiwillread]

Ezekiel, after the smallest inconvenience: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

[source]

[angelwiththeblue-box]

Cassandra, wearing an apron and towel over her shoulder: Eve! Jacob, also wearing an apron: You're home! Eve: What-? Ezekiel, wiping down the kitchen counter: Baird, I cleaned the house for you! Flynn, opening the oven: I made dinner, sweetheart! Cassandra: We missed you! Ezekiel: Welcome home! Eve: Guys, please... Eve: This is IKEA. We're going to get kicked out.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Monk: May I get you anything to drink, Barbarian? Barbarian: The tears of our enemies wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed. Monk: We have jasmine tea. Barbarian: Oh, jasmine. Yes please.

[my-fandoms-are-ded]

Eve: Nice work!

Ezekiel: thanks, mom.

Eve:

The other LITs:

Ezekiel: why is everyone staring at me

Cassandra: You just called Colonel Baird mom. You said, "thanks, mom."

Ezekiel: what? No I didn't. I said thanks ma'am.

Eve: do you see me as a mother figure, Jones?

Ezekiel: if anything I see you as a bother figure because you're always bothering me!

Jacob: HEY! Show your mother some respect!

[uncorrectintamed]

Wei Wuxian: How was I?

Lan Jingyi: Scattered. Annoying. Alternating between genius and bad puns.

Wei Wuxian: Business as usual then.