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#the parents don’t sleep at the bedside
d1stalker · 20 days
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Origin [Logan Howlett]
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Summary: Two people, one shared past, and decades apart.
Warnings: fem!reader, angst, fluff, longing, things get bad before they get better! WC: 14k - MASTERLIST
A/N: there are plot points that are inspired by Logan's origin story (thank u marvelwiki), but they are so non-canon compliant its funny so don't call me out tyyy 😙
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Before he was known as Logan, or as Wolverine, he was James. 
Your James. 
It’s quiet in the Howlett estate, the kind of stillness that only comes when everyone has long retired for the night. But while the rest of the mansion sleeps, you remain wide awake. Dressed in your nightgown and nestled under the blankets, you glance at the small, brass pocketwatch resting on your bedside table. The hands read 10:22 PM. Any minute now, you think to yourself. 
Then, like clockwork, you hear it—a faint knock on your door. Three slow, deliberate taps, followed by two quick ones. The secret signal never fails to make you smile. You spring from the bed, feet softly padding across the floor as you hurry to the door. You open it as quietly as possible, your grin widening the moment you see who’s waiting on the other side.
James.
He stands there, dark tousled hair and that familiar mischievous smile that always manages to light up the dim hallway. You’ve known him your entire life, growing up together under the roof of the Howlett estate. Your parents, both loyal servants to the Howlett family, were fortunate enough to be granted permission raise you alongside their son.
From the moment you could walk, you and James were inseparable, sharing countless adventures in the woods, running across the estate’s gardens, and whispering secrets to one another under moonlit skies.
"About time," you whisper, teasing him with a playful glint in your eyes. "You really know how to keep a lady waiting, don’t you?"
A soft snort escapes his lips as he grabs your hand, pulling you gently into the hallway. "My deepest apologies, M’lady," he replies with mock formality, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. "I had to... attend to urgent business in the necessary."
You snicker, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Ah, I see. Was it a fulfilling experience, sir Howlett?"
He glances over his shoulder, rolling his eyes with exaggerated exasperation, though you catch the small smirk tugging at his lips. He doesn’t respond, but his silence confirms everything. It was.
The rest of the trip is quiet, the two of you moving stealthily through the darkened corridors, careful not to disturb anyone or draw unwanted attention. After all, your mother would certainly disapprove of such late-night rendezvous. It is improper, she would say.
But what choice did you have? The day offered no time for moments like this. You were busy training to take over as the next chief maid, learning the endless routines of the household, while James spent his time with his family or other highborn friends. It was only after hours, when the mansion finally settled, that the two of you could steal away for these secret meetings.
Finally, you reach the gardens. The crisp night air greets you as you slip away from any prying eyes. There’s a familiar sense of peace here, among the fragrant flowers and the towering trees that shield you from the world. James leads you to your usual spot, a stone bench tucked beneath the shadow of the hedges. Wordlessly, he slips off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders before taking a dramatic bow.
"To keep you warm, M’lady," he says softly.
"Hush, James," you laugh, finding his antics endearing. 
You’re grateful, especially as the cool night air nips at your exposed skin. The nightgown, while comfortable, offers little protection against the chill. You pull his jacket tighter around yourself, then pat the empty spot next to you, gesturing to him to sit, to which he does.
“How was your day?" you prompt.
James sighs, leaning back on the bench, his hand casually resting behind you as he stares up at the sky. "Same old, same old," he starts, a familiar twinge of annoyance creeping into his voice. "You know how it is. Dinners with my parents, listenin’ to old men talk about businesses I'll never care about, trying not to fall asleep while they drone on about investments or land expansions. It’s all so posh."
You stifle a giggle, nudging him playfully with your elbow. "Posh? You sound like you're living the dream."
He rolls his eyes dramatically. "If by 'dream,' you mean sitting there pretending to care while wonderin’ how quickly I can escape to see you, then yeah, it's an absolute dream," he quips sarcastically.
Sniggering, you bring your hand up to your forehead, acting distressed. "Oh, how tragic. The poor Lord James Howlett, trapped in a world of lavish dinners and fancy wine. Whatever will you do?"
"Mock me all you want, but it’s unbearable," he groans, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I hate it. All the stuffy clothes, the fake smiles, the way everyone acts like they're better than everyone else." He pauses for a moment, then glances sideways at you. "You're the only real thing here."
The sincerity in his words makes your heart flutter, and you’re suddenly grateful for the darkness hiding the faint blush creeping up your cheeks. Looking away, you try to play it off. "Well, if that’s the case, I guess I should charge you for my company," you tease coyly.
He lets out a huff of amusement, shaking his head. "I'll pay whatever price you want.”
There's a pause as you both sit in comfortable silence. Just then, a soft breeze sweeps through the garden, catching the edges of your nightgown and fanning it up slightly. Before you can even react, he swiftly moves his jacket from your shoulders to your lap, covering your legs. His hand lingers, making sure you're covered before he hastily wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you close against him.
The warmth from his body contrasts with the cool air, and you can't help but laugh softly at his sudden behaviour. "Wow, you really are a gentleman, James."
He tenses slightly, his grip on your shoulder loosening as he looks away, clearly flustered. "I—I just didn’t want you to get cold," he mumbles, his usual confidence faltering.
You smile at how shy he suddenly seems, leaning your head against his shoulder. "Thank you. It’s sweet."
For a brief second, he says nothing, but you can feel the way his heartbeat picks up just a little. Then, almost too quietly, he mutters, "I’d do anythin’ for you."
Your breath catches in your throat, and you tilt your head to look up at him. But you can’t respond, because he clears his throat, looking down at you with a small, sheepish smile. "What about you? Any exciting adventures in the life of a future chief maid?"
Grinning, you recognize his attempt to shift the conversation, and decide to let it go for now. "Oh, you know, the usual. A thrilling day of dusting, folding linens, and trying not to spill tea on your mother’s favourite rug."
He chuckles, pulling you a little closer. "Sounds way more exciting than my day."
You hum in acknowledgement, letting the moment linger. Neither of you speak for a bit, just relishing being in each other’s presence. 
"So, do tell," you say after a while, breaking the silence, "if you could get away from all the fancy dinners and boring conversations, what would you do?"
He smiles slightly, his gaze still fixed on the star-filled sky. "I’d leave. Go far away from here, maybe somewhere quiet. Live in the countryside, where no one cares about wealth or titles." His eyes drop to meet yours. "Maybe you’d come with me."
You laugh gently. "And who would take care of your family if we both ran off?"
Shrugging, his expression grows more serious. "They don’t need me. They need someone who’ll do what they want—someone to follow in their footsteps. That’s never been me."
There’s a weight in his words, and you feel a pang of sympathy for him. You’re about to respond, to tell him you understand more than he realizes, when—
BANG.
Your body stiffens instantly, heart beginning to pound in your chest as you straighten up, eyes wide.
"What the hell was that?" James asks sharply. He turns to you, his face mirroring the confusion and unease you're feeling.
Shaking your head, you swallow the lump that’s forming in your throat. "It sounded like a gunshot."
The two of you stare at each other for a beat, then, right when you’re going to speak again, you hear it—his mother’s scream. It’s high-pitched, panicked, and it sends a jolt of fear through you both.
"Help!" she shrieks from inside the mansion. "James, help!"
Without a word, you bolt to your feet, the peaceful night forgotten as you rush back inside. Your heart is racing as your bare feet fly across the grass, nightgown fluttering behind you. James is ahead of you, moving fast, his expression shifting from confusion to pure fear.
As you reach the back entrance, your mind races with possibilities, none of them good. You burst through the door into the hallway, your breathing laboured from the sudden sprint. Something is terribly wrong.
"Mother!" He calls, his voice sharp with panic as he leads the way toward the main staircase. You follow close behind, anxiety coiling tight in your chest.
Once you get to the bottom of the stairs, you hear footsteps—heavy, hurried—and then you see her. Mrs. Howlett, wide-eyed and pale, comes hurrying down from the upper floor, clutching the banister for support. Her hands are trembling.
"James!" she cries. "Your father—he’s been shot!"
The boy beside you freezes, face going white. "What?" he breathes, disbelief etched into every syllable.
"He—he was in his study, and I—I heard the gunfire. I—I don’t know what happened. I don’t know who—" Her voice breaks, and tears stream down her face as she struggles to speak. "We need to get help!"
He doesn’t waste another second, taking off up the stairs, his long strides making quick work of the distance. You trail after him. How could this happen? Who could’ve done this?
When you reach the second floor, you see the study door slightly ajar, light spilling out into the dark hallway. James' hand wavers over the doorknob for only a moment before pushing the it open wide.
Inside, the scene is worse than you imagined.
There, slumped over his desk, is Mr. Howlett. His once pristine office now looks chaotic—papers scattered, a window broken, and blood, so much blood. A crimson stain is spreading across his shirt.
"Father," James chokes out, rushing to his side, his hands shaking as he reaches for him.
You stand paralyzed for a moment, the sight rendering you speechless, but then the adrenaline kicks in, and you move further into the room. Your mind is screaming at you to do something, anything, but all you can do is watch as James desperately tries to wake his father, calling his name again and again.
Trying to make sense of the horrific scene, your attention is dragged away by the sound of footsteps shuffling behind you. Thomas Logan, the groundskeeper, stumbles in, his movements clumsy, his face twisted with drunkenness. His bloodshot eyes are manic, and in his trembling hand, he’s clutching a gun—the same one that must have been used to end Mr. Howlett’s life.
"Thomas!" Mrs. Howlett yelps. "What are you doing?"
James turns sharply, still kneeling beside his father’s body, his expression hardening immediately. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Thomas lets out a low, slurred laugh, staggering further into the room. His eyes flick between you, James, and Mrs. Howlett, but his focus remains hazy. "I’ve had enough of this, enough of all of it," he mutters, waving the gun in the air. "Your precious mother thought she could keep the truth from you. But it’s time you knew the truth, boy."
"What truth?" The younger man demands harshly.
Swaying on his feet, he points the gun directly at James, his finger twitching dangerously on the trigger. "I’m not just the groundskeeper, you idiot," he snarls venomously, "I’m your damn father."
It’s as if the room has been put on pause. You feel the air leave your lungs, your mind scrambling to make sense of what you just heard. Glancing at your friend, you see the disbelief wash over his features, his eyes widening with shock, denial.
"No," he whispers, shaking his head, backing away slightly. "You're lying. You’re drunk."
But the older man just laughs, the sound hollow and bitter. "You think John Howlett was your father? That man never wanted you! He raised you because he had to, not because you were his. You’re mine, boy. My flesh and blood,” he jerks his head in the direction of Mrs. Howlett. “Go ahead, ask your mama."
You hear Mrs. Howlett begin to blubber in the background at the accusation, but your attention is solely on the boy in front of you.
Betrayal is written all over his face.
His breath quickens, and his hands clench into fists at his sides. You want to reach out to him, concern puling you forward, but then he lets out a scream—a sound so full of pain that you stop in your tracks.
"James!" you cry, but he doesn’t seem to hear you. His eyes squeeze shut, and his body convulses, as though something inside him is tearing him apart from the inside out.
The sickening sound of skin breaking fills your ears, and bone claws shoot out from his knuckles. They gleam in the dim light of the room, sharp and lethal. The sight of them is nauseating, but you’re unable to look away as James blinks, gazing down at his hands, dumbfounded.
"What—" he rasps, his chest heaving. "What’s happening to me?"
“What the hell is this?” Thomas sneers in disgust.  He stumbles, reaching for the wall to steady himself. “Figures... Of course my son’s a freak.”
“You were always a fuck-up,” he continues in his drunken rage. “Useless, soft... a disappointment from the start. Just like your mother. Look at you now, boy.”
“I’m not your boy,” James snarls through gritted teeth, rage building inside him. His eyes flash dangerously. It’s as if something inside him has snapped, some deep, instinctual part of him that has been lying dormant, waiting for this very moment.
“You’re right. You’re no son of mine. Just a goddamn mistake. Should’ve left you in the dirt with your—"
Before he can finish, a roar rips from James’s throat. So raw, so animalistic, you get goosebumps. His entire body tenses, muscles coiled, and then, with terrifying speed, he lunges.
In an instant, his claws sink deep into Thomas’s chest with a thunk. The force of the blow sends the older man crashing back, disbelief and agony seizing his face as blood sprays across the room, spattering the walls and floor. His body thrashes, his hands weakly grasping at his son’s wrists, but there’s no strength left in him. 
A gurgling gasp bubbles from his throat, and then it's over. He collapses to the ground, lifeless, as James stands over him, claws retreating back into his skin. 
"James!" Mrs. Howlett screams, her voice piercing. "What have you done?!"
You don’t know how to react. You can’t process it, can’t breathe. All you know is that you need to get out of here—get James out of here, away from this nightmare before it consumes him. Without thinking, you rush to his side, grabbing his bloodied hand.
"We have to go!" you say urgently.
His eyes dart to you, frantic and unfocused but he doesn’t resist as you pull him toward the door. His mother's cries echo behind you, but you can’t stop, can’t look back.
You run—both of you—through the hallways, out the back door, and into the dark of night. The wind whips around you, stinging your face, but you don’t stop. You run until your legs burn, until you’ve entered the surrounding forest, and the Howlett estate is nothing but a distant shadow behind you. 
All the while, James’s hand stays locked in yours.
Branches scratch everywhere, at your arms, your face, and the underbrush tugs at your clothes as if trying to hold you back, but you push on. Only after the first light of dawn begins to creep in, does the exhaustion hit. Bodies aching and bruised, the two of you collapse beside a small stream. 
You’re on your back, catching you breath, when you tilt to your head to look over at your friend. He’s sitting down, with his hands out in front of him, leering at them. He struggles for air, his breaths coming in short, panicked bursts, and his clothes are torn, stained with blood—his father’s blood, Thomas’ blood. 
His claws are long retracted, but the scars of where they came out of his skin are there, fresh. 
"James," you whisper, but he doesn’t respond. Slowly, you crawl over to his side, pain flaring with each movement. When you reach him, you sit on your knees, looking up at him, trying to meet his gaze. You repeat his name, more firmly this time.
He finally looks at you, but he’s broken. His lips tremble as he opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a choked, almost inaudible, "What did I do?"
Your heart aches for him. Reaching out, you gently take one of his bloodied hands in yours, and as soon as your skin touches his, he flinches, pulling back slightly. "I killed him." he whispers, more to himself than anything. “I—I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t mean to!"
"Hey, listen to me," you say. "You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known this would happen."
"I killed him," he repeats. "I killed Thomas. I—" He glances down at his hands, at the scars along his knuckles, and his expression crumples completely. “He was my father.”
You don’t know what to say, don’t know how to fix this, but you know you have to try, so you wrap your arms around him. At first, he stiffens, but then he collapses to the ground, pulling you down with him. You land on top, your chest pressed against his as the weight of your bodies crashes into the soft earth. He squeezes you like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded, his face buried in your shoulder as his breath comes in short, broken sobs.
"I didn’t mean to do it," he repeats, the words muffled against your skin. "Something just changed inside me. What am I? What am I turning into?"
“Hush," you whisper, moving one of your hands to brush his hair. "Look at me. Just breathe, okay? You’re not alone in this. We’ll figure it out together, I promise."
His arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer. It’s overwhelming, but you don’t push him away. Instead, you let him hold you as tightly as he needs, your fingers gently stroking the back of his head, trying to console him in any way you can.
"I’m a monster," he whimpers. "What if I hurt you, too?"
"You won’t," you affirm, lips brushing against his ear as you whisper. "You’re not a monster. This… this thing that happened, it doesn’t change who you are. You’re still you."
Beneath you, his body shakes, overcome by emotion he holds onto you. Your forehead is pressed to against his, your breath mingling with his while you continue to whisper reassurances, telling him over and over that it’s going to be okay, that he’s not alone.
Minutes pass, maybe longer—you lose track of time as you lie there together. Gradually, his cries begin to quiet, his breathing slowing as the storm inside him starts to subside. His grip on you loosens slightly, but he doesn’t let go fully, still cradling you in his arms.
Shifting, you raise your head to look at him. His eyes are red, his face pale, but he’s calmer. You start to pull yourself off of him, but as you're standing up, he grasps your hand again, and he looks at you with a tired, grateful expression, squeezing it gently as if to say everything he can’t put into words yet.
Then, you continue. Hand in hand, you move deeper into the forest. And finally, after a few more hours, you notice something in the distance. Through the trees, there are rooftops, small and clustered together, their chimneys trailing thin lines of smoke into the evening sky.
“A town,” you whisper, the first word you’ve spoken in hours.
He follows your gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the sight of the small mining town nestled in the valley.
In it, the people’s faces are etched with lines of hard labour and even harder lives, but still, you know you’ll be safe there. 
Initially, it’s difficult—this new life you and James have carved out is a far cry from the comforts of the Howlett estate. The town you’ve settled in is rough and unpolished. You both share a modest shack on the outskirts, a place that feels foreign and strange, but over time, it starts to become home.
He finds work in the mines almost immediately. The foreman takes one look at him, his broad shoulders and strong arms, and practically shoves a shovel in his hand without asking any questions. The job is tough, but it suits him. 
Every evening, he comes back to you covered in soot and dirt, his hands rough and calloused, his face lined with exhaustion. You can see the toll the work takes on him, how his body aches, but there’s something else too—a measure of peace that wasn’t there before. It’s as if he’s found a way to silence the chaos inside him, at least for a little while.
It’s not long before everyone in town begins to call him Logan, a name he offers with indifference when asked.
A new identity. 
Logan is a man who works hard, who keeps to himself, who doesn’t ask for anything more than a paycheck at the end of the week. 
Logan is a man who doesn’t need anyone, who can survive on his own. 
To you, he’s still James. 
In the quiet moments, when it’s just the two of you, he lets down the walls, lets you see through the façade. And when you whisper his name—James—he closes his eyes as if that one word alone soothes something deep in his soul.
After weeks of watching him silently carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, you offer him a rag to wipe his face as he sits down at the small table you’ve cobbled together from scraps. He takes it without a word, rubbing at the grime on his skin.
“You don’t have to do this forever, you know,” you say softly, leaning against the table as he tosses the rag aside. "There’s more to life than breaking your back underground."
He glances at you. "It’s all I’m good for now."
"You’re good for more than that," you reply walking up to him, reaching for his hand. He lets you take it, like he always does. "You can’t let what happened define you."
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he gives your hand a small squeeze, his eyes drifting to the floor as he mumbles, "What’s inside me… it’s different. You don’t know what it’s like."
You don’t argue. How could you?
The changes in him, the way his strength has grown, how his senses have sharpened, it all impacts him. He can hear things no one else can, smell the rain long before it falls, and even in complete darkness, he sees as clearly as if it were day. His powers are evolving, changing him.
But you know, deep down, that the man sitting in front of you is your friend—your James—no matter what he’s become.
You’ve seen him wrestle with the fear of what he might turn into, the fear of losing control, but you also see the man who leans into your touch, who lets you bandage his hands after long days in the mines, who presses his forehead to yours when the nights grow too heavy with silence.
And as your time together in the town goes by, there is a shift.
It starts with small things—a lingering glance, a brush of your fingers as you pass each other in the kitchen, the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention.
Then, it moves to bigger gestures. When you’d pack him his lunch fo the day, you slip in a small piece of parchment with a heart hastily drawn on it, or at night time, instead of falling asleep backs turned toward each other, awkwardly trying to ignore whatever tension is brewing, you fall asleep in his arms, and wake up the same way.
It gets to a point where you can neither of you can deny it. 
You’ve fallen in love.
It’s late, and you’re sitting by the fire outside the small cabin, waiting for him to return from one of his now-frequent disappearances into the woods. You used to worry about where he went, afraid he was distancing himself from you, so one night you followed him. What you found took your breath away—him, sitting out on a ledge, with some wild animals surrounding him. There was something in him that they must have recognized, a mutual respect that seemed to transcend anything human.
Since then, you’ve let him go without asking questions, trusting that those nights in the woods bring him the peace he can’t find anywhere else. But tonight, when he returns, he’s different. He doesn’t just brush past you to head inside. Instead, he sits beside you by the fire.
You turn to him, about to ask if everything’s alright, but the words catch in your throat when his hand cups your jaw. His grip is gentle, hesitant, as if he’s afraid to break the moment, but in his eyes, you find a longing, a yearning, that mirrors your own. 
His thumb brushes over your cheek, and for the first time in a long time, there’s no hesitation in his movements. Your heart stutters, and when he pulls you closer, you let him. His lips meet yours, careful at first, but as you kiss him back, you feel the stress drain from his body. 
The kiss deepens, slow, tender, and everything you’ve ever wanted.
The next few years are a kind of peaceful bliss you never expected. With each passing day, you and Logan seem to fall deeper into each other, the bond you share growing stronger, more intimate, like you’ve finally found the rhythm of the life you were always meant to have together.
Mornings are your favourite. He always wakes up first, moving quietly so as not to wake you, and he’s gotten into the habit of making you breakfast. You always sneak out of bed and snake your arms around him from behind, pressing your face into his back as he grumbles about you not getting enough sleep. “You’re always up too early,” he’d say. 
“I like being up with you,” you’d mumble in response, and he’ll turn around, his hands coming up to cradle your face, his eyes soft and full of that quiet, steady love he’s never really put into words. And then he’d kiss you like he has all the time in the world, even if he has to head over to the mines. 
On your days off from your job at the pub, you’ll spend hours together, finding little ways to enjoy the simplicity of your life. He will sometimes take you out to the woods behind the house, where you’d walk the trails together. He points out the different wildlife, the plants you don’t recognize, and you tease him about being a mountain man. He’d smirk, giving you that low, raspy chuckle that never fails to make your heart seize in your chest, and tug you closer to his side.
In the evenings, oftentimes, you sit together while you knit, something that started as a hobby but quickly became one of your preferred pastimes. He always pretends to be uninterested, but he’ll watch you anyway. “You’re getting good at that,” he’d say gruffly. 
“Want me to make you a sweater?” You smirk, raising an eyebrow.
“Maybe,” he’d grumble, but you can tell he’s secretly pleased at the idea.
The town itself becomes part of your life together, too. You’ve made friends with the locals, joining a small knitting club. If he has time, Logan drops by the pub on your shifts just to check in, sitting at the bar with a beer and watching you work. When your gazes connect very now and then, he gives you that look—the one that says he’s proud of you, that he’s content.
“We’ve got a good thing here,” he murmurs one night, holding you close. 
“Yeah,” you agree softly, kissing his cheek. “We really do.”
But, all good things must come to an end. 
The mining town, though small and isolated, isn’t immune to the tensions that fester beneath the surface. Harsh conditions, grueling work, and the endless grind wear people down, turning frustration into anger, and anger into violence. Fights break out often, especially in the saloon after a long day when men try to drown their sorrows in whiskey. You both have learned to keep your distance from such skirmishes, knowing nothing good ever comes from getting involved.
Still, one night, as you return home from your evening shift at the pub, you hear the unmistakable sounds of a brawl breaking out in the middle of the street. Shouts reverberate through the cold air, followed by the crash of breaking glass. Your heart races as you recognize the deep, guttural growl cutting through the noise—a sound you know all too well.
On impulse, you rush toward the commotion, dread pooling in your stomach. You know this won’t end well. Not here. Not for him.
When you reach the scene, your worst fears are confirmed. He stands in the centre of the chaos, fists clenched at his sides. Two men circle him, their faces twisted with drunken aggression, goading him. The small crowd that’s gathered seems almost entertained, too caught up in the spectacle to understand the true danger festering.
“James!” you shout, trying to get his attention, but to no avail.
One of the men—a burly miner you’ve seen around town a few times, always looking for trouble—lunges forward, his fist swinging. The punch connects with your man’s jaw, hard enough to stagger him back, but instead of falling, you see something shift in Logan’s expression. His eyes darken, his jaw tightens. Then, his claws slowly begin sliding out of his knuckles.
The crowd gasps, and the laughter dies immediately.
“Don’t come any closer,” he growls, his voice low and full of warning. His chest heaves as he struggles to keep control, but you can see the fire burning behind his eyes. He’s on the edge, teetering dangerously close to losing himself.
But the miner, too drunk and furious to notice or care, spits on the ground. “Freak!” he slurs, venom lacing every word. “You think you scare me?”
He charges at Logan again, fists swinging recklessly. Your heart leaps into your throat, and you scream for him to stop. But it’s too late. Logan tries to pull back, to stop what’s about to happen, but the man is too close, too fast.
Everything slows down, the world moving in fractured seconds. Claws slice through the air, meeting flesh with a sickening thud. The miner gasps, his eyes widening in shock as he stumbles, clutching at his chest where the claws have sunk deep. Blood blooms around his hands, staining the dirt beneath his feet.
And suddenly, you’re thrust back into the past. You see James as he was all those years ago, his claws dripping with blood after killing Thomas. The memory crashes into you—the look of fear on his face, the horror in his eyes, the way he stumbled back, realizing what he’d done.
Just like now.
Logan’s eyes go wide, his expression mirroring that same devastation. He steps back, staring at the miner who crumples to the ground, gasping for breath. What follows is a deafening silence, the air thick with shock and disbelief. The townspeople that had been so eager for a show now stand frozen, eyes wide, faces pale.
The man gasps one last breath, then goes still.
Logan stares at the body at his feet, his claws still extended, still dripping with the man’s blood. His chest heaves, his breath shallow, and he mutters under his breath, barely audible, "Oh god… Not again."
You rush to his side, grabbing his arm in desperation. "Come on, let’s go home."
He doesn’t move. He’s locked in place, staring at the man he’s just killed. His hands tremble, the claws still out, and you can see the raw pain in his eyes as the reality of what’s just happened sinks in.
"I didn’t mean to," he whispers again, his voice cracking. "I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…"
That night, while you're sleeping, Logan makes his decision.
And when you wake up the next day, the space beside you is cold.
The shack feels too quiet, too still. 
All you can do is stare at the empty spot in your bed. You tell yourself that maybe he’s outside, chopping wood or he’s already left for work. But deep down, you know. 
Throwing on your boots, you don’t bother to change out of your nightclothes, and rush outside. His name is the first thing out of your mouth, sharp and desperate. "James! Logan!" Your voice barrels through the small yard, bouncing off the trees and fading into the cool morning air. 
There’s no answer.
Panic grips you as you search the familiar places—around the shack, the small trail he likes to take into the woods, by the creek where he often spends time when he needs to clear his head. There’s no sign of him.
No footprints, no lingering scent. Nothing.
The townspeople stare as you move through the streets. They know what happened. They saw the claws, the blood. And now, they see you—a reminder of the violence that tore through their quiet lives. But you don’t care about their judgment right now. You’re too focused looking for him, too frantic to worry about the whispers that follow in your wake.
"Have you seen him?" you ask one of the miners who had once shared a drink with him, but he shakes his head and pulls away from you, muttering something under his breath. Everybody keeps their distance, their faces closed off, avoiding your gaze. 
By the time the sun climbs higher in the sky, the truth settles in your chest like a heavy stone. He left. You wander the streets a little longer, until exhaustion finally forces you back to the shack.
He didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t even leave a note. The man who you shared your life with, who you fell in love with, is gone—and he isn’t coming back.
In the days that follow, everything changes. The people who once greeted you with a nod or a smile now avert their eyes when you walk by. They speak in hushed tones, voices thick with suspicion and disdain. 
Nobody cares that you had nothing to do with what happened in the street that night. To them, you’re guilty by association.
It starts slowly, but the gossip spreads like wildfire. Saying thinks like: you knew what Logan was all along, that you hid his secret, allowed him to kill their men. Their anger turns to you, and before long, you become the pariah—cut off, unwelcome, the person responsible for the death of one of their own.
The day they decide to exile you is gray and heavy, the sky thick with the promise of rain. No one has the decency to say it to your face. Instead, you wake to a note slipped under your door, the word leave scrawled across it in angry, uneven letters.
You pack what little belongings you have—a few clothes, some keepsakes from the life you left behind at the Howlett estate—and sling a small bag over your shoulder. Then, you walk away without looking back.
Stretching out before you is a desolate, abandoned looking road. Your legs ache with every step, your feet blistering inside your boots, but you don’t stop. The memories of Logan, the town, the life you tried to build together swirl in your mind.
The sound of a a horse whinnying pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to see a carriage approaching. The coachman—a man with kind eyes and a weathered face—slows as he pulls alongside you. His voice soft and cautious as he asks, "Need a ride?"
Nodding, you’re too exhausted to respond with words, and climb into the passenger seat. He doesn’t ask many questions, sensing perhaps that you’re a soul in need of silence more than conversation. He drives in quiet companionship, the horses' feet against the dirt the only sound breaking the stillness.
He takes you to the nearest town, dropping you off with a quiet wish for better days ahead. You thank him and give him a few coins. You’re standing on the edge of a new beginning, unsure of where to go next but knowing, with painful certainty, that the past is behind you now.
In this new place, you slowly begin to rebuild what you’ve lost. It isn’t easy—there are nights when the loneliness threatens to swallow you whole and days when the weight of losing your best friend feels too much to bear. Still, you find work at a small shop, rent a modest room in the quieter part of town, and painstakingly, you carve out a new existence. 
Though no matter how hard you try to move forward, he’s always there. A shadow, lingering in the corners of your mind. You can’t forget him—the way he looked at you with those intense, searching eyes, the way he held you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to this world, the way he left without a word. Your entire childhood, your early adulthood, revolved around him. He was the best part of your life. Every moment spent with him was cherished, imprinted in your memory like a brand you can’t erase.
Nights are the hardest. When the world is quiet, and it’s just you and your thoughts, that’s when the ache becomes unbearable. Each night, your mind drifts back to him. You tell yourself it wasn’t his fault—he must have believed he was protecting you by leaving. 
Maybe he thought you would hate him for killing another man with his claws, for unleashing the violence he tried so hard to contain. Maybe he thought you could never forgive him.
But the more you think about it, the more you realize: if he truly believed that, then he didn’t know you at all.
And that hurts. A lot.
You start to feel like him in some ways, burdened by secrets and anger with nowhere to go. More often than not, you slip out of the town in your nightgown and into the nearby forest, hoping the solitude will offer some kind of peace. It doesn’t, not really, but it’s better than suffocating in your room, choking on memories of what was and what could have been.
A year passes since the night he left, and you find yourself standing among the trees once again, lost in thought. It’s not fair—none of it is. You lost everything, and for what? Because you loved him? Because you could look past his mutation?
All of the emotions you’ve done a decent job at managing bubble to the surface, a torrent of grief and rage with nowhere to go. Mindlessly, you draw back your fist and slam it into the trunk of a nearby tree. The impact shoots a sharp pain through your arm, but it’s fleeting, drowned out by the rush of anger. You pull back to punch the tree again, harder this time, desperate for some kind of release.
But the tree doesn’t just splinter. It explodes. 
The force of your punch obliterates the trunk, sending shards of wood flying in all directions. You stagger back, staring at the destruction, stunned. What was just a tall, beautiful arbor is now reduced to nothing but rubble, the strength of your blow far beyond anything a normal person could achieve.
Your breath hitches when it dawns on you. You’re standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by the evidence of your newfound power. You aren’t just grieving the loss of Logan anymore; you’re discovering that you are, just like him, a mutant.
Except, unlike him, you’re alone.
He’s not here to hold you, to help you make sense of what’s happening. He’s not here to run away with you like you once ran away with him. You have no one to share this terrifying revelation with. You have only yourself.
Looking down at your trembling hands, the faint ache in your knuckles nothing compared to the pain in your chest. It’s as if your heart is breaking all over again.
If you had known—if you had discovered this power when he was still with you—would things have been different? Would he have taken you with him? Would you still be together?
You can’t stop the questions, can’t silence the what-ifs that plague you.
Finally, the dam breaks, and you cry.
Pressing your fists against your eyes, you try to stifle the sobs, but it’s no use. The grief crashes over you in waves as the life you tried to build together all plays out in your mind like some twisted, unending loop.
The days bleed into one another.
Each is marked by the slow, steady march of time. You continue to live, to survive, but the discovery of your mutant powers changes everything, setting you on a path you had never imagined.
You learn that you can channel energy through your body, whether that be your emotions, or external, and then amplify it for your own gain. It’s a power that protects you, that makes you feel invincible, but the more you use it, the more distant you become from the life you once knew. 
And then there’s the other side of your mutation—the ability to heal others by absorbing their injuries. 
The first time you did it, it was an accident. 
You were closing up shop, and as you walked along the cobblestone roads, you saw a man lying face down. Instinctively, you quickened your pace, and crouched down beside him. Was he drunk? Dead? Gently, almost hesitantly, you reached out, placing your hand on his back with the faint hope that he was simply unconscious. Your intention was simple—just to check if he was breathing, to see if he would stir at your touch.
But the moment your fingers brushed his coat, a violent surge of pain exploded in your mind, like a thunderclap within your skull. The agony was so sudden, so sharp, that it nearly knocked you off your feet. 
It was more than pain—it was as though the man’s suffering had become yours, pulling you into his darkness. Your vision blurred, and for an instant, you could feel it. Blood. Hot and sticky, trickling down your forehead in a slow, steady stream. You raised a trembling hand to wipe it away, expecting to feel the warmth of it on your fingertips.
But there was nothing. No blood. No wound.
Just the phantom sensation of pain that wasn’t your own.
Then, just as suddenly as it had come, the pain vanished. You blinked, gasping for air, trying to steady yourself. When you looked down at the man again, he was stirring, groaning softly. His eyes fluttered open, and he sat up, as if waking from a long sleep. He looked up at you, confused but grateful, oblivious to the power you had just unleashed.
It feels like a curse, the pain of others transferring to you in ways that leave you gasping for breath. But over time, you learn to control it, to take on only as much as you can handle, and to let the rest fade away.
You never stay too long in one place. Town after town, you move, always careful to keep your powers hidden. The people you encounter are kind enough, but you never allow yourself to get close. You can’t afford to—not when the memory of him still haunts you, his absence a constant ache in your heart. 
What if they leave you too?
Every now and then, there are some nights of passion with a stranger, but you never find another lover, never allow yourself to even consider it. 
As the years slip by, and you move through life like a ghost, always on the fringes, never fully there. In the beginning, you don’t notice it—time is something you stopped paying attention to long ago. But then, one day, nearly ten years after he left, you catch sight of yourself in a mirror.
Your reflection stares back at you, unchanged, unmarked by the years that have passed. It’s as if time has forgotten you, leaving you suspended in a state of perpetual youth. This knowledge—that you could live indefinitely—fills you with a sense of purpose you haven’t felt in years.
So, when the First World War breaks out, you volunteer as a nurse, determined to use your abilities to save as many lives as you can. The troops who come to you are broken, their bodies ravaged by the horrors of war. You take their pain into yourself, healing them with a touch, until there is nothing left but faint scars—a reminder of what they have survived.
It’s during the Second World War that you first hear the rumours. Injured men speak in hushed tones of a man they saw—a soldier who seemed invincible, fighting with a ferocity that borders on the inhuman. They talk of claws—long, sharp claws that can cut through anything, and a healing ability that allows him to shrug off injuries that would kill anyone else.
Could it be him? Could he still be out there, after all these years?
You dismiss the thought almost as quickly as it comes. It can’t be. He would be dead by now, just like everyone else from your past. 
He is gone, and you are alone—that’s the truth you’ve come to accept.
Somewhere along the way, you meet Charles Xavier. You don’t know how, but he knows you. He knows you’re a mutant—how you helped in the war. And he wants you to join his team.
You’ve spent so long on your own, relying on your powers to survive, that the idea of joining a team feels foreign, almost impossible. But there’s something in his eyes, something in the way he speaks of his vision for the future, that resonates with you. This isn’t just about survival—it’s about making a difference, about using your powers to protect those who can’t protect themselves. 
And, perhaps, it’s also about finding closure.
Maybe you can help mutants who struggle with their identity, like he did. Maybe this time, you can stop them from running away from themselves, the way you wish you could have stopped him.
So you agree.
And when you arrive at the mansion, you’re introduced to the others who will become your teammates—Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Hank McCoy, and Ororo Munroe.
The early days are challenging. Learning to work as a team, to trust one another, isn’t easy, especially for you, after so many years of solitude. But a camaraderie that develops between all of you, and it feels right. You’re no longer just a group of shunned mutants—you’re a family, united by a common goal.
This mission is supposed to be simple—investigate a remote facility rumoured to have ties to illegal mutant experimentation. Charles had briefed the team before sending you out, warning that there might be danger but nothing you couldn’t handle as a group. You’ve faced threats before, so when you arrive at the facility, it’s with the usual caution but no real alarm.
The structure looks forsaken at first glance, the exterior covered in years of grime, windows cracked and dark. But as you all approach, something feels wrong. There’s an energy in the air, a hum of activity beneath the surface. You can sense it, and by the looks of the others, they feel it too.
“We should be careful,” Scott mutters lowly as his hand hovers near his visor.
Jean furrows her brows. “I’m sensing...something. There are people here. This place isn’t empty”
Your stomach twists, and once the team cautiously makes its way deeper into the facility, you start to hear it—the muffled sounds of machinery, the low hum of voices, and then...a scream.
You freeze.
You’ve heard that scream before, in the dead of night, in memories you’ve tried to bury.
James.
Without thinking, you push forward, your body moving on instinct as you race toward the source of the sound. The others call after you, but their voices fade into the background as panic claws at your chest.
The scream grows louder, more desperate, until you burst into a large chamber. And there, in the center of the room, suspended in a tank of bubbling liquid, he is.
His body is thrashing against the restraints that bind him, wires and tubes connected to his skin. Machines whir around him, injecting something into his body—something molten, silvery. 
A team of scientists in lab coats and armed guards surround the tank, all of them focused on the cruel procedure unfolding before your eyes.
You can barely breathe. The sight of him, after all these years—being tortured like this is too much. Pain and rage surge through you, and before you realize what’s happening, you’re moving again.
“What the hell are you doing?!” you scream.
The guards whirl toward you, but you’re already on them. The first one goes down with a single blow, your fist connecting with his chest and sending him flying into the wall. You barely register his body crumpling to the floor before you move on to the next. 
Behind you, Jean and Scott rush in, their powers flashing as they help subdue the remaining guards, but your focus is on the man in the tank, whose eyes are squeezed shut in pain, body convulsing. You can’t think straight—you can only feel the overwhelming need to make this stop, to save him before the experiment finishes. 
But it’s too late.
In a roar of destruction, he breaks free from the tank, glass and metal exploding outward in every direction. His eyes are wild, erratic, his mind lost to the pain and the transformation—he’s a force of nature now. A whirlwind of violence and fury.
You try to reach him, but Jean steps forward, her eyes glowing as she raises a hand. “I’m sorry,” she strains. Her telekinetic force slams into him, knocking him off his feet, and his body crumples to the ground, unconscious, the rage finally quieted.
Standing there, panting, your hands are shaking as you stare at his still form. You’re overwhelmed—by the sight of him after so many years, by the pain of seeing him like this, by the fear that you might lose him before you even got him back.
Scott places a hand on your shoulder, his voice gentle. “We need to get him out of here.”
You nod, unable to speak, and together, the team lifts Logan’s unconscious body and carries him out of the facility. The entire time, you keep your eyes on him, terrified that if you look away for even a second, he’ll disappear. When you finally make it back to the jet, Jean lays him on a stretcher, her powers keeping him sedated for the trip back to the X-Mansion. You sit beside him, your hand hovering just above his, too afraid to touch, too afraid to hope.
The jet lifts off, and your mind races with a thousand questions. 
How did he end up here? Why did they do this to him? 
But above all, one thought consumes you: He’s alive.
After all these years, after all the heartache and loss, Logan—James—is still here.
He remains unconscious for three days, his body healing from the horrific procedure he endured. You barely leave his side, watching over him as if your presence alone could somehow anchor him back to himself. His breathing is steady, but his face—it’s both exactly the same and entirely foreign to you. He looks like the man you’ve known and loved, but it’s what is on the inside that worries you.
You swallow hard, your gaze tracing the familiar lines on his skin. Where are you, James? you think. Are you still in there?
Jean had done a body scan soon after you brought him back to the mansion, and the results confirmed your worst fears: they’ve bound adamantium to his bones and buried his personality underneath the most powerful brainwashing you’ve ever heard of.
It’s devastating. Whatever relief you’d felt—if any at all—at finding him alive is now eclipsed by the crushing reality of what he’s become.
The day he is scheduled to wake, Charles calls a meeting. The team gathers in the briefing room, and you sit quietly in your chair, replaying everything that led up to this moment.
Following a seemingly endless stretch of silence from you, Charles clears his throat. “If you’re ready, perhaps you could tell us more about your history with him. It might help us understand what we’re dealing with.”
A deep breath fills your lungs as your hands clutch the table’s edge tightly. Talking about him, about everything you’ve been through together, feels like peeling at old wounds that never really healed. But you know it’s necessary. If anyone is going to help him, they need to know the truth.
“I met Logan—James, as I used to call him—over a hundred years ago, when I was very young” you begin, and you can see the surprise ripple through the room at the admission of your age. “We grew up together. My parents were servants at the Howlett estate, and I spent most of my childhood by his side. He was my best friend… and eventually, he became so much more.” Your voice cracks, and you pause for a moment, collecting yourself.
“After a tragedy involving his family, we ran away together. We lived in a small mining town for years, trying to find some semblance of a life, but things fell apart. He left, and I—I spent years trying to forget him, but I never could. He was—is—everything to me."
Jean leans forward. “I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you,” she says softly. “But you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that when he wakes up… he may not be the man you remember, and not just because of how much time passed.”
You look up at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”
She hesitates, exchanging a glance with Charles before continuing. “The brainwashing they used on him wasn’t just designed to make him forget. It was meant to strip away his sense of self entirely. His mind was… broken down, piece by piece. What you saw back at the facility—his rage, his lack of control—that’s what’s left of him right now.”
Hank speaks next. “We’ll do everything we can to help him, but Jean’s right. You need to be ready for the possibility that he won’t recognize you. He might not even recognize himself.”
Nodding slowly, your heart sinks further and further with each word. 
“We have tools, ways to work through the brainwashing,” he continues, “but it will take time. And patience.”
“Time,” you echo quietly. “I’ve already waited so long.”
Ororo reaches across the table, her hand hovering near yours. “I know this is overwhelming. But you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to help.”
“I need to see him,” you whisper, your voice firmer than before. “When he wakes up, I need to be there.”
Charles nods gently. “Of course.”
When he finally stirs, it’s not a gentle awakening. His whole body jerks, his head whipping around in wild confusion. His breaths come in sharp, uneven gasps, and his eyes dart frantically across the room, taking in his unfamiliar surroundings, and just as his eyes finally land on you, he freezes.
And for a long moment, neither of you speak.
There’s a lump in your throat, and you wait with a bated breath for some flicker of recognition in his eyes, some sign that he remembers you—that he knows you.
But it never comes.
Instead, his gaze narrows, studying you. “Where the hell am I?” he grunts. “And who are you?”
It hurts more than you expected. You knew this might happen—Jean and Charles had warned you—and you thought you had prepared yourself, but it doesn’t make hearing it any easier. 
He doesn’t remember you. 
“Just take it easy,” you manage to say softly. “You’ve been through a lot, James.”
His eyes flicker with confusion as he shifts in the bed, wincing at the movement. "James?" he questions.
You quickly correct yourself. "Logan."
His hand instinctively goes to his chest, fingers brushing against his side as if testing for wounds that aren’t there anymore. “What is this place?” he asks again. 
“You’re at the X-Mansion,” you explain. “You were... rescued. We brought you here to heal.”
“Rescued.” he repeats dryly. “From what?”
You hesitate, unsure how much to tell him. How do you explain everything—the horrors of Weapon X, the brutal experiments, the torture that nearly destroyed him? You can’t even bring yourself to speak the full truth, not yet. 
“You were taken,” you say carefully. “By people who wanted to use you for something terrible. But we got to you before they could. You’re safe now.”
Logan lets out a short, bitter laugh, though there’s no humour in it. “Safe,” he mutters, his voice low and sarcastic. “Right.” He rubs a hand across his face.
“Why do I feel like I’m missing somethin’?” he mutters, his irritation growing. “Like... like there’s something important I should remember.”
Swallowing hard, your heart twists at his words. He is missing something. But you won’t tell him that now. He’s already grappling with so much, and the last thing he needs is the weight of your shared past thrust upon him before he’s ready.
“Don’t worry about it.” Your voice is gentle, coaxing. “It’s... normal to feel confused right now.”
Frowning, he runs a hand through his hair. “Like I’m supposed to believe that.”
“I know it’s hard to understand,” you say softly. “But it’ll get better. You’ll remember in time.”
He doesn’t respond right away, his gaze drifting toward the ceiling as if he’s searching for answers that aren’t there. After a moment, he sighs, his eyes returning to yours. “Alright. Who are you, really?” he asks. “Why do I feel like I should know you?”
Because we grew up together. 
Because we were everything to each other. 
Because you were the one person I never stopped loving. 
“Just focus on resting,” you say, forcing a soft smile. 
He studies you briefly, as if trying to figure out whether or not to trust you. Then finally, he nods, thought you can tell he’s still wary “Yeah... okay.”
The awkward silence returns. 
“I should go,” you murmur, standing abruptly. The chair scrapes against the floor, the sound jarring in the quiet room. “You need rest.”
He doesn’t stop you, doesn’t ask you to stay. He just watches as you turn toward the door, and leave.
Your chest tightens painfully as you walk out of the room, the familiar ache of loss settling in once more. It’s worse this time, though—worse because he’s alive, and yet, in every way that matters, he’s gone.
You leave the room in a daze, your mind swirling with a storm of emotions. Your feet carry you down the hall, and before you realize what’s happening, you find yourself in the washroom. 
The moment the door clicks shut, your stomach lurches. You barely make it a toilet before you’re retching. Tears sting your eyes, and you brace yourself against the cold porcelain, gasping for breath as your body shakes with sobs.
Standing up and flushing, you walk over to the sink, and press your forehead against the mirror. How did it come to this? You found him, after all these years, but the person in that bed isn’t the Logan—it isn’t the James—you once knew. 
Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you close your eyes, taking a deep breath as you try to pull yourself together. It's not the time to breakdown, you think, and after splashing some water on your face, you turn toward the exit.
Pushing open the door, you’re met with the familiar gaze of Ororo. She stands in the hallway, her white hair cascading down her shoulders, her eyes filled with something that feels like both understanding and pity.
Your eyes widen, caught off guard, not expecting to see anyone, least of all her.
“I saw you come in here,” she whispers empathetically, “but thought you might need a moment.”
You pause, trying to blink away the redness in your eyes, trying to pretend you’re stronger than you feel. But she sees through it. She always has.
“I’m fine,” you say, the words slipping out automatically.
Stepping closer, her gaze softens as she studies your face. “No,” she disagrees, “you’re not.”
The vulnerability you’ve been trying to keep at bay rushes forward again, threatening to swallow you whole. You open your mouth to argue, to brush it off, but the moment you meet her eyes, the words die in your throat. The pity, the compassion—it’s too much.
Silently, she reaches out, her hand resting lightly on your arm. It’s a small gesture, but it feels grounding.
“I saw him,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “He doesn’t remember me.”
“I know,” she says quietly. “I’m so sorry.” 
The next few days are a blur. You keep yourself busy—too busy—hoping that constant movement will keep the gnawing ache at bay. If you let yourself stop, if you let yourself think about what’s happened, the hurt would consume you, so you don’t stop.
Most of your time is spent in your room or the garden, taking refuge in the places where you can hide from everything, everyone.
Sometimes, you train, pushing your body past its limits in a desperate attempt to silence your thoughts. Every hit you land, every punch you throw, never feels like enough.
It’s easier this way, you tell yourself. Easier to avoid him, to pretend he never came back into your life. Because the alternative—watching him live here, knowing he doesn’t remember you, doesn’t understand what you once shared—that’s too painful.
You’d rather pretend he’s still a memory than face the reality that the man you love is here, but not really.
When you walk through the mansion, you see him from afar. You can’t help but notice how he’s begun to soften around the others, how the confused man who woke up in that bed is slowly adjusting to life at the mansion. He has daily appointments with Charles, who you imagine is sifting through his mind, doing his very best to retrieve something, anything.
While there is still a distance in his eyes, still a guarded edge to him, but you can see the small shifts—the way he listens when someone speaks, the faintest hint of a smile when Hank tries to crack a joke.
And sometimes, your eyes meet.
From across the room, you’ll catch him watching you. In those moments, your heart skips a beat, wondering if there’s a reason why he’s zeroed in on you specifically, but then he looks away, and it passes. You never approach him, never ask him how he’s feeling or if he’s starting to remember anything. You’re too afraid of the answer.
One night, you sit in the garden, letting the soft breeze play with your hair, eyes closed. 
“Mind if I sit here?”
The voice startles you, pulling you from your thoughts. Your eyelids flutter, and as you turn, your heart jolts upon seeing Logan standing at above you. And momentarily, it’s like you’re teenagers again—sneaking out at night into the gardens to talk. 
“Sure,” you nod, gently patting the space beside you, as you always did. 
He steps closer and sits down, though not without leaving a small space between the two of you. “I’ve been seeing you around,” he says after a beat.. He doesn’t look at you, his gaze focused on the flowers in front of him. “But... you’ve been avoidin’ me, haven’t you?”
A small laugh escapes you, bitter and self-deprecating. “You noticed, huh?”
“Yeah, not much gets past me. Even that one guy’s attempts at being a leader.”
Despite yourself, you snort. “Scott?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “He’s too easy. Guy looks like a human stoplight with those stupid glasses.”
You bite back a snicker, feeling like a teenager again. The banter, the lighthearted teasing—it makes it seem like maybe, just maybe, there’s still something left of the man you knew.
He turns his head slightly, his expression growing more serious. “You know, I’ve been trying to figure it out,” he says, quieter now. “Why it feels like something’s missing. Every time I see you... I know you’re related to it.”
Shifting a little to look at him, you take in the way his facial hair is a little bit more kempt, how he still has his hair tufts. You miss him, and he’s right here with you. 
“I... thought it would be easier,” you admit, staring down at your hands. “For both of us. If I kept my distance. I didn’t want to add to your stress.”
Frowning, his brows furrow as he processes your words. “Add to it? How?”
“Because you don’t remember me,” you say softly. “And I didn’t want to be a reminder of something you can’t recall.”
He stares at you for a long moment. Then, “you’re right. I don’t remember everything,” he says slowly, “but I know there’s something about you.”
You nod, your throat tight, but you don’t push him. You know it’s only a matter of time before the pieces fall into place. “You’ll remember,” you whisper. “I know it.”
He grunts. “I don’t want you to keep your distance.”
“I won’t. Not anymore.” The idea of him wanting to spend more time with you, fills you with joy.
For the next few weeks, it becomes a quiet routine—the nightly conversations in the garden. It’s like slipping into an old rhythm, the two of you always finding a way to gravitate toward each other once the sun goes down. You talk about small things, but it's never too heavy. Sometimes he teases you, and you tease him back, exchanging sarcastic quips. Nothing and everything has changed at the same time.
You’ve started training together too, spending more and more time together each day. It’s almost as if there’s a magnet between you that not even time could weaken.
This night, you’re in the gym together on the sparring mat. It’s the usual scenario playing out—dodging, blocking, throwing punches. He’s fast and strong. And it means a lot to see you see him finally embrace his mutant powers and use them, rather than try to hide and run. 
You’re both breathing hard, the exertion pushing your bodies to their limits. You land a solid kick to his side, and he grunts, stepping back for a moment. Without warning, his claws extend, and your gaze locks in on them.
Of course you know about the adamantium, but seeing it like this, so up close, it’s different. 
“What?” Logan asks, noticing your sudden stillness. His brow furrows, and he glances down at his claws, as if he’s only just realizing they’re out. “What are you staring at?”
“Does it hurt?” you question, clearing your throat. “When they come out?”
He tilts his head, his gaze flicking between you and his claws. “Everytime” he sighs. “But not as much as the old ones.”
Your eyes snap up from his claws to meet his. “... What?” you ask. The old ones?
“They were bone,” he continues, “Hurt like a bitch.”
Your heart starts pounding in your chest. Could this be it? Could he be remembering?
Stepping closer, your voice trembles slightly as you push for more. “What else do you remember?”
His eyes widen, and then he blinks, his stare glazing over for a second, like he’s trying to chase down a memory that’s just out of reach.
“I… I don’t know,” he admits with a bit of frustration. His claws retract, his hand flexing unconsciously as he stares at the empty space where the blades once were. “It’s all bits and pieces. I get these flashes, but nothing sticks. Charles said... he said the barriers in my mind are comin’ down, but it’s slow. Like finding a damn needle in a haystack.”
But the fact that he remembers even a sliver, is enough to fill you with hope.
This continues, the small fragments of memories coming back to him. They come unexpectedly, at random times in the day. It’s never anything big, never the full flood of memories you’re hoping for, but each time it happens, it feels like another piece of the puzzle falling into place.
You suggest a walk one afternoon. The mansion has felt a little too closed in lately, and you think maybe the fresh air might help clear his mind. Together, you wander along a little pathway that connects the mansion to a nearby river, the sound of the water in the distance a soothing backdrop as you walk side by side. He’s quiet, more so than usual, and as you glance at him, you notice his expression has grown distant.
“Logan?” you ask softly, nudging his arm. “What’s on your mind?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, his gaze fixed on the path ahead. His brow is furrowed, like he’s trying to fit together pieces of a puzzle, his thoughts distant, swirling. “I remember…” he starts, his voice quiet, as if he’s speaking more to himself than to you.
Your fingers begin to twitch at your side. Every time he remembers something, it feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to see if he’ll fall into the past, if this will be the moment he remembers it all.
“A cabin,” he says finally, his voice rough but certain. “There was a shack. In a small town. I used to stay there.”
You nod, urging him to continue, anticipated building within your chest. “Go on.”
“It was small. Cold most of the time. But I don’t think I cared.” He lets a chuckle. “I liked it. Felt... peaceful.”
You can’t help but smile a little at the memories he’s bringing up. His steps falter, and he stops in the middle of the path, turning to look at you. “Mining,” he mutters, as if the word itself is triggering something. “I remember mining.”
“That’s good,” you say. ‘I’m happy for you.”
The memories keep coming.
You’re in the mansion, passing through one of the long hallways together on your way to eat, when he suddenly stops, his hand reaching out to steady himself against the wall. You turn, concern flooding through you. “Are you okay? What is it?”
He frowns, his eyes narrowing as if he’s trying to force something into focus. “There was a girl.”
“A girl?” you repeat, not wanting to push him but unable to stop the question from spilling out.
“Yeah,” he confirms. “In a big house—like a mansion, I think. We'd play together. She was... she was always following me around. Always gettin’ into trouble.”
You know exactly who he’s talking about.
“Do you remember her name?” 
Shaking his head, you can see the frustration etched onto his face. “No. But she must have been important, I can feel it.”
Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you try to hold yourself together. It was me, you want to say. That little girl was me.
“It’s okay,” you say instead, your hand reaching out to touch his arm. “You’ll remember. You’re already so close.”
He looks at you then, his eyes searching yours for something—answers, reassurance. Once a few seconds pass, he sighs and shakes his head.
“I don’t know how you put up with this,” he grumbles lowly. “With me.”
“Because I know you,” you whisper back. 
To have a chance at another lifetime with him, you’d put up with anything. 
He’s busy with Jean and Charles this morning, the duo having started to work together last week, trying to finally break down the wall stopping Logan from recovering his memories. With nothing else to occupy you, you’ve retreated to the mansion’s library, seeking solace in the endless rows of books. The familiar smell of paper and ink is comforting, and for a while, you manage to lose yourself in the words on the page. 
You’re curled up in one of the oversized armchairs, a book resting in your lap, when your ears pick up the sound of heavy footsteps—fast, purposeful, ringing out through the mansion’s quiet halls.
Concern rises in your chest. Those footsteps aren’t casual; someone is rushing, and you’ve been around long enough to know that in here, that usually means something’s wrong.
Setting the book down on the small table beside you, you stand and head toward the entrance of the library. The sound grows louder, the footsteps coming closer, and just as you reach the doorway, you collide with a solid wall of muscle.
"Ho—holy sh—" you gasp, stumbling back, startled. Your hands fly to steady yourself, and you look up, wide-eyed, to see Logan standing there. "Logan, you scared m—"
“James.”
You still. 
"What?" you whisper, your mind racing as you stare at him. His face is different—not just the usual irritated-by-himself expression he’s been wearing lately, but something else. There’s a certainty in his eyes, relief and maybe even—
“My name is James,” he repeats. “I was born in Alberta. We grew up together. I... I killed my father.” His voice falters slightly at that, but he pushes through, his gaze locked on yours, unwavering. “You were the little girl in the mansion. You’ve always been there. And I—” His eyes brim with emotion. “I love you.”
The words slam into you, leaving you breathless. You can feel the blood drain from your face, your heart jumping so hard it feels like it might burst. “You... you remember?” You’re barely able to get the words out.
Logan—James—stares at you. “I remember everything.”
A sob escapes your throat, and you throw your arms around him, burying your face in his chest as the floodgates open. His arms come around you immediately, holding you tight, his chin resting on the top of your head.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m so damn sorry. I should have never left. I should have gone back to find you.”
You shake your head, tears soaking into his shirt. “It doesn’t matter,” your voice breaks. “None of that matters anymore. We’re together now. That’s all I care about.”
He pulls back slightly, just enough to cup your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that won’t stop falling. There’s so much love—so much everything—in his eyes, your knees nearly buckle. All you do is hold on to him, as tightly as you can, afraid that if you let go, this moment will slip away.
But it won’t, because he’s really here, he remembers, and he still loves you.
For what feels like hours, you stand there in the hallway, wrapped in each other’s arms. Eventually, you take a small step back, unwrapping your arms and instead grabbing his hands, squeezing them. “We have a lot to talk about.”
He squeezes your hands back in return. “Yeah, we do.”
You sniffle, wiping away the last of your tears as you lie in bed with him, pressed so close it feels like you’re trying to merge into one person. His warmth surrounds you, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist, hands drawing small circles. It’s like all the years apart never happened, like you’re finally back where you’re meant to be.
“So, what made it all come back to you?” you ask softly, your voice a bit hoarsefrom all the crying you’ve done in the last hour.
James takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling slowly. “I guess having two strong telepaths diggin’ around in your mind will do the trick,” he responds. “Shit was brutal, but... worth it.”
Tilting his head down, he presses a small kiss to your temple. If even possible, you nestle yourself further into his hold. 
“I thought I’d lost you forever,” you whisper. “All those years... I never thought I’d see you again.”
“Same for me. Thought I lost you too,” James murmurs, his hand running gently up and down your back. “After I left the cabin, I tried to forget. Tried to convince myself you were better off without me, but...” He trails off. “I was wrong—a coward. I shouldn’t have been runnin’ away. Especially from you.”
You look up at him, your eyes searching his. “What did you do all those years? Where did you go?”
He lets out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. “I wandered. For a long time, I didn’t stay in one place. Fought when I had to, drank when I couldn’t forget. Got into a lot of trouble.” He grimaces slightly. 
You frown. “What kind of trouble?”
“The kind where people like me aren’t supposed to be walking free,” he remarks bitterly. “I gave into the monster I thought I was.”
His words sink in, and you can feel the toll those years took on him, the way they left him scarred, not just physically, but emotionally. “It must have been so hard,” you whisper, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “Living like that, without... anyone.”
Leaning into your touch, “Yeah,” he admits. “It was. But... I didn’t know how to live any other way. Not after everything that happened.”
There’s a long pause, the two of you lying there, bodies tangled together as you both process the weight of what’s been lost and what’s been found. Then, he kisses the inside of your hand, looking at you with a faint, curious smile.
“What about you?” he asks softly, tugging you closer. “When did you... ya know, find out you were a mutant?”
The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. You’ve never really talked about that part of your life to anyone, at least not in detail. 
“I didn’t know for about a year,” you begin. “After you left, I was... lost. And then one day... I punched a tree.”
James raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that. “A tree?”
You nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the seriousness of the memory. “Yeah. I was angry—angry at everything. And when I punched it... the damn thing exploded.”
He stares at you for a moment, processing your words. Then, a slow, amused grin spreads across his face. “Exploded, huh? Guess that’s one way to find out you’re not normal.”
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “Yeah, it wasn’t exactly subtle.”
His smile fades slightly. “What did you do after that?”
Taking a deep breath, you let the memories of those early days as a mutant flood back. “I tried to keep it hidden for a while. Didn’t really know what to do with it. But then... the wars started.”
Eyes narrowing, his expression changes instantly. “The wars?”
Nodding, you continue. “Yeah, the First and Second. I volunteered as a nurse. I figured if I could use my powers to help people, then maybe I could make up for everything I lost. I moved station to station, healing soldiers. I couldn’t save everyone, but I tried.”
He’s momentarily quiet, gaze never leaving yours, even as he processes what you’re telling him. Then, slowly, his features shift into disbelief.
“You were on the frontlines?” His voice low, almost incredulous. He reaches out to brush a few strands of hair out of your face. 
“Yeah. I wanted to make a difference.”
Letting out a sharp breath, James sits up slightly in bed as he stares at you. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “I fought in those wars, too. In the trenches.”
You’re speechless, and the realization washes over you slowly. The whisperings you’d heard from the troops, the rumours you’d chalked up to be nothing more than drunken tales, suddenly come flooding back. A man who couldn’t be killed, who healed from every injury, who fought with claws that could tear through anything.
It was him.
It was always him.
“Oh my god,” you breathe. “So it was true…all those rumours about the man who couldn’t die... that was you.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “Guess it was.”
All those years, all those battles... and you were both there, so close, yet so far apart. 
“We were so close,” you say, moving forward in to give him a kiss. “And we didn’t even know it.”
He kisses you back, his grip on you tightening. Then, when you pull away, he sighs, leaning back against the headboard. “It’s all so different now,” he begins gruffly. “You’re not the little maid in training anymore, runnin’ around that mansion, worried about getting caught”
You smile faintly at the memories of your younger selves, the girl you used to be, and the boy who was so much more to you than just a young lord. 
“And you’re not sir James Howlett or whatever—Lord—anymore” you tease. “You’ve come a long way from the boy who used to sulk in the garden because he had to attend another dinner party.”
He lets out a noise that sounds like a mix between a huff and a laugh “Yeah,” he agrees. “That feels like a lifetime ago. And in a way, I guess it was.”
While neither of you are the same people you once were, in this moment, you can feel that connection—the one that has always been there.
“I’ve thought about you every day,” he speaks up again. “All those years.”
“James…”
“I love you,” he confesses. “And I’ve loved you my whole life. Before we ran away, after I left, even after I thought you were gone... I couldn’t forget. Didn’t want to.” He sucks in a harsh breath, grabbing your hand once more. “I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed. We could’ve figured it out together, but I was so... so damn scared. I thought if I stayed, I’d only hurt you.”
You feel tears welling up in your eyes again. “You did what you thought was right,” you whisper, intertwining your fingers. “You were scared, and so was I.”
“I wish I could take it all back,” he says, regret bleeding into his tone. “I wish I could’ve been there for you... We could’ve had so many more years together.”
“We have time now,” you say softly, assuring him. “We have all the time in the world to make up for it.”
He doesn’t respond verbally, but rather he edges forward, brushing his lips softly against yours. “I love you,” he murmurs before closing the gap completely, kissing you passionately.
You smile against his lips, because while he may be known as logan, or Wolverine, he’s still James.
Your James. 
----
A/N: I'm going to have to either write some crazy smut or excessive fluff now because this took it out of me LOL also I hope none of you got confused with the name switching! Thank you so much for reading <3
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ba9go · 3 months
Text
bestfriend!bakugou gets caught sneaking over
bestfriend!bakugou x g/n!reader, highschool au, sleepy cuddles, platonic kisses, romantic kisses too, confessions, fluff and feelings, light(?) angst, reader overthinks a lot, hurt/comfort (sfw)
part 2/3 of the bestfriend!bakugou likes to sneak over series
back to part 1 (sfw) 💥 continue reading: part 3 (nsfw)
Saturday, 10:00 AM
bzzt. bzzt. bzzt. bzzt. bzz—
“fuckin’ hell,” katsuki groaned, low and raspy from sleep. blinking an eye open, he tries to lift an arm to turn off the damn fuckin’ alarm on your bedside table, only to realise it was completely numb from where it was trapped resting beneath your head. you stir slightly beside him.
“‘sukiii… s’loud,” you whined, smooshing your face into the crook of katsuki’s neck.
“i know, i know,” katsuki grumbled under his breath. his other free hand gave your waist a little squeeze before he reached behind him to grab his phone, finally shutting the damn thing up. “also, watch it. you’re breathing down my neck. ‘s ticklish.” he cranes his neck away from you slightly.
“sorry… you smell good, ‘s all…” you pouted, eyes fluttering open to look pleadingly at katsuki. he scowls, but you don’t miss the way the tips of his ears redden, or the way his eyes dart to the side momentarily. katsuki’s so cute when he’s flustered, you resist the urge to grin.
“needy brat,” he lets out a huff as he throws his arm back around you, readjusting the both of you until your head was tucked under his chin. you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“‘s your fault for spoiling me, kats.”
“ya complainin’?”
“nope!” you giggle, wiggling yourself upwards until you were face-to-face with katsuki. with an obnoxious “muah!”, you plopped a wet kiss on his cheek, relishing in the flush that spreads across his cheeks. “love you!”
katsuki glares at you, but he doesn’t wipe his cheek. “you’re clearly awake, if you’ve got enough energy to be annoyin’,” he sits up abruptly, breaking free from your grasp.
“nononono,” you cried dramatically, grabbing katsuki’s wrist. “i’m sorry, come back? c’mon, kats, please?”
“no. m’goin’.”
“‘suki—”
“no.”
“katsuki, please?” your grip on his wrist loosens slightly, and you wonder if you’re actually annoying katsuki, being this clingy. “…don’t want you to go yet,” you whisper quietly, gaze falling from piercing vermillion eyes to your bedsheets.
a beat of silence, then two, and you think you’re being so annoying right now, pressing him to stay, when he clearly wants to go—
a hand ruffles your hair. you slowly look up to meet katsuki’s gaze, uncharacteristically soft. it’s your turn to flush now, feeling your cheeks redden.
“five more minutes, ‘kay?” katsuki lays back in bed, gathering you back in his arms. you relax instantly, melting in his warmth.
“‘kay,” you whisper meekly, burying your face in his chest. “thank you. m’sorry.”
katsuki leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.
after five minutes, you’ve already fallen back asleep. katsuki can’t bring himself to wake you, so he continues holding you, and lets five minutes stretch into twenty.
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Saturday, 10:34 AM
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to sleep for that long, i swear!”
“s’fine—”
“it’s not fine! our parents are most definitely awake! we’re screwed, kats!” you wailed loudly.
“y/n, i swear to god, you’re—”
knock, knock.
the both of you freeze, before turning to look at the door.
knock, knock. katsuki facepalms.
you mouth the words “i’m sorry” to katsuki before walking over to the door. your hand slowly reaches to the doorknob when suddenly,
“katsuki? do you want breakfast?” oh god, it’s your mom—
“yeah!” katsuki’s next to you in a heartbeat, opening the door before you could stop him.
he flashes you a toothy smirk, clearly amused by your flabbergasted expression. he turns to look at your mother, grinning. “mornin’. thanks for havin’ me over.”
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and that was how your parents found out that katsuki had been sneaking over. that same day, katsuki’s parents found out too.
you: suki
you: u home yet???
you: u live 10mins away
you: it’s been like 30
you: im worried
outgoing call (declined)
you: are ur parents mad???
you: im sorry this is my fault
you: reply me asap pls
katsuki💥: Come over for dinner at 6.
katsuki💥: Ma’s making mapo tofu.
you: ??????????djhfuwoehoijljds
that evening, mitsuki apologised for “all the trouble katsuki has caused” (katsuki let out an indignant “hah???”), and insisted that you could come over anytime you’d like next time. over the course of the month, katsuki’s spare drawer was slowly filled with your things — two sets of your school uniform, your shirts, sweaters (but you still preferred to steal katsuki’s hoodies), pyjamas, shorts, socks, undies, you name it. likewise, back home, your closet space was now shared with katsuki. the two of you had practically moved into each other’s homes.
one sunday morning, after having spent the night at katsuki’s, you woke up to an empty space in the bed. somehow, katsuki managed to slip out of your usual embrace without you stirring. to be fair, you’d slept in later than usual — it was almost 12pm. you must’ve missed breakfast. sighing, you dragged yourself out of katsuki’s bed.
after washing up, you overheard mitsuki’s voice, coming from the kitchen.
“what exactly are ya waiting around for, katsuki? you’re being ridiculous! man up!”
“shut up, you old hag!”
“you shut up! it’s a miracle that someone as sweet as y/n can put up with your shit attitude!”
“you—”
“what’re ya gonna do when someone comes along and gets together with y/n, hah?” huh?
“fuck that, i’d never let those extras—”
“those ‘extras’ have more balls than you, you coward!”
“who the fuck are you calling a coward, you—”
“y/n,” you hear masaru say quietly (everything is quiet in comparison to the other two bakugous). “lunch is almost ready.”
katsuki whips around. you watch his eyes widen as he meets your gaze, and wonder who’s the deer caught in headlights, you or him—
katsuki didn’t speak to you during lunch (you didn’t know what to say to him either). he finished his plate in record time, got up to wash his dishes, before going back to his room (he’d usually wait for you to finish up before doing your dishes for you).
“don’t worry about the dishes, dear,” mitsuki said right as you put your dishes in the sink.
“no, it’s okay, i’ll—”
mitsuki nods towards katsuki’s room. “you leave the dishes to me, i leave my stupid son to you. deal?”
you thanked her quietly before making your way to his room. to your surprise, katsuki had left the door open.
katsuki sat on his bed, back leaning against the wall, looking down intently at his phone. the lack of acknowledgement made your nerves rattle. did you misunderstand the conversation you had accidentally overheard? did you have the wrong idea about things? staring at katsuki, looking so indifferent and cold, you couldn’t help but feel that way. you felt a pang in your chest.
standing in his doorway, faced with this overwhelming feeling of rejection, you slowly came to terms with your own feelings towards katsuki. you hadn’t even realised till now — how much you liked, loved your best friend. maybe, deep down, a small part of you had been hopeful that katsuki had reciprocated your feelings. the cuddling, the occasional kisses goodnight and good morning… were you mistaken about it all?
suddenly, katsuki’s eyes snapped to yours. you felt yourself shrinking under his piercing gaze.
“ya gonna come sit or what?” he frowned at you.
“r- right. my bad.” you stepped into the room warily, closing the door behind you.
as you sat next to him on the bed, your shoulder bumped into his, and you flinched immediately from the contact. “s- sorry, i—“
“the fuck’s wrong with you?”
you lost it.
you felt a sting in your eyes as they brimmed with tears.
“y/n?”
you tilted your head downwards, squeezing your eyes shut. bad move, your tears were spilling now, plopping onto katsuki’s sheets.
“y/n?” katsuki repeated.
“i- i’m sorry, i—” your voice broke off embarrassingly, you lowered your head even more. you hated this.
“ya cryin’?” katsuki asked, sounding bewildered. “why? what’s wrong?”
you brought your knees to your chest, curling into yourself as you cried even harder. you cover your mouth with your hands to try and stifle your sobs.
“y/n,” katsuki spoke again, voice shaky. fuck, you made him upset. you felt two hands on your shoulders. “you’re making me worried. c’mon, talk to me? please?”
you shook your head, hiding your face in your hands.
“fuck, if… if it’s cuz of somethin’ i did, i’m sorry, alright? i’ll make it up to you, ‘kay, sweets? just, please, stop cryin’ for me?” katsuki pleaded. “please, tell me what’s wrong—”
“everything’s wrong!” you cried, choking on your own sobs. “i love you, and you hate me. you’re going to lea—”
kstsuki pulled you into his lap, one arm dropping to hold your waist while his other hand cradled the back of your head.
“never say that again.”
katsuki pulled you closer, letting you cry into his chest. he kissed your forehead. you must be imagining things—
“i love you,” katsuki whispers, lips still pressed against your forehead. “love ya so much. you’re my whole world. please, stop cryin’, it’s killin’ me.” katsuki’s voice breaks.
you tear your face away from his chest, and your heart aches at the sight of katsuki, whose eyes are filled with vulnerability and sadness.
“i’m sorry,” you blurted, tears continue to streak down your face. “you ignored me at lunch and you didn’t look at me at all and i just thought—” katsuki leans over to press his forehead against yours.
“i’m sorry,” katsuki whispers. he cups your cheeks in his hands and gingerly wipes your tears with his thumbs. “i was bein’ a coward. i won’t run away from my feelings anymore. promise.”
katsuki continued to hold you until your breathing evened out. even after you’ve stopped crying, katsuki can’t bring himself to let go of you just yet, so he continues holding you, and you let him pepper as many kisses as he wants, all over your face.
“be my boyfriend, katsuki,” you murmured softly.
“i’ll be your damn husband,” katsuki says.
he kisses you on the lips this time. when your lips part, katsuki can’t bring himself to stop kissing you just yet, so he continues kissing you.
of course, you let him.
is this angst? i wasn't planning to write angst, it kind of just happened? is it even angst???? well i hope this was enjoyable to read anyway!!! it's 3am i'm gonna eep now
word count: 1.5k
tags: @anicaaa67 <3
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Khichdi ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
Summary: y/n wants to surprise lando, but her health has other plans for her.
⇗ ln x desi!reader ₊˚ෆ
⇗ fluff + sickfic ₊˚ෆ
masterlist ☾☼
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y/n had been the first woman that lando felt like he was truly ready to risk it all for. he was never a person who could date someone who lived on a separate continent, but somehow, with y/n, he wanted to make it work. after almost a year of long distance, and only meeting on some weekends or holidays, y/n had decided to surprise him by visiting him in monaco. lando had felt happier than he had in a while, and as soon as he saw y/n standing at his door with her suitcase, he had wasted no time gathering y/n in his arms and twirling her around, whispering just how grateful he was that she was there. 
unfortunately, y/n had a habit of always falling sick for at least a day or two after travelling big distances. as much as she had hoped that the flight from india to monaco wouldn’t lead to her falling sick, her prayers had not been heard. the very night that she had landed in monaco, she could feel a fever coming in. as desperate as she was to ignore it, lando wouldn’t let her, and forced her into bed. 
she had slept the entire night, and then, had slept through breakfast. finally, at lunch time, lando shook her awake and asked her if she wanted to eat something. sleepily, y/n mumbled, “khichdi,” 
lando was confused. he had no idea what khichdi was. but, he also did not want to trouble y/n any further. whispering an “okay”, he left the room and headed towards his kitchen, where he was already FaceTiming y/n’s mum. 
lando had met y/n’s mum multiple times through video calls, and the first time he had visited y/n in india was also the first time he had met y/n’s mum. it had been far too early in the relationship to be meeting each other’s parents, but somehow, it had felt right. so, y/n and lando never questioned it. 
“hi, lando,” y/n’s mum’s voice rang through the house, and he quickly put on his AirPods. setting his phone against a kitchen appliance, he took a step back and looked almost scared. 
“what’s wrong?” she asked. 
“um, y/n’s sick. has a fever. she’s been sleeping for almost 14 hours now.” he said.
“oh no,” 
lando nodded, “yeah. but, also, i asked her what she wanted for lunch, because i know she hates soup and i can’t figure out what she would want to eat right now. and, she said something called khich- khichdi?” 
y/n’s mum nodded, “khichdi, yeah. its basically rice and lentils cooked together.” 
“right. i don’t know how to make it, so i was hoping that you could teach me?” lando almost seemed shy in his request. 
y/n’s mum smiled brightly, and began guiding him through the steps. lando had a fair collection of indian spices or as y/n called them ‘masalas’. y/n had stocked his house with all kinds of appliances, food, everything that she would need or she has in india. lando never questioned it, because it just seemed easier to already have all those things for when y/n would eventually move in with him. 
lando was scared out of his mind for most of the part. pressure cookers were loud, and honestly, a little violent in his opinion. he didn’t understand how his girlfriend cooked most of her food in such a violent and scary appliance. every time the cooker went off, lando resisted the urge to hide behind the island. he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her mother just yet. he could do that after he had married y/n. then, y/n’s mother won’t be allowed to have a problem with him. 
after the terrifying process of making khichdi was done, lando bid y/n’s mum goodbye, and quickly scooped a decent amount of rice from the pressure cooker and into a bowl. putting it on a tray along with a glass of water and some meds, lando made his way to his bedroom. 
gently opening the door, he said, “y/n, come on, i made you lunch,” 
“five more minutes,” y/n said, as she turned and faced the other way. 
smiling at his girlfriend, lando set the tray on his bedside table, and sat down on the bed. he gently ran his fingers through her hair that had become wet from sweat. but that was good, because her fever was breaking. 
“come on, i made you khichdi,” he said. 
y/n’s eyes opened instantly. had she heard him correctly? she turned towards him slowly and stared up at his face. “you did what?” 
“i made you khichdi. you said you wanted that, so i made it.” 
y/n immediately sat up, and lando propped up pillows behind her so that she was comfortable. 
once she was settled, lando picked up the tray and settled it on her lap, making sure that it wouldn’t fall. all that while, y/n stared at him in wonderment. she looked down at the bowl, and there it was. khichdi. looking the same way as her mum’s khichdi. 
he offered her a spoon, and she took it gratefully. taking a bite of her khichdi, y/n’s heart was overflowing. it was the same as her mum’s. it tasted exactly the same, with just the right consistency and everything. 
“is it good?’ lando asked hesitantly. it was the first time he had cooked indian food. he didn’t want to get his girlfriend sick. or, more sick than she already was.
y/n looked at him with a smile, “it’s perfect. thank you. i don’t even remember saying that i wanted khichdi. how’d you make it?” 
lando smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “i- uh- called your mum. asked her how i could make it, and she taught me.” 
abandoning her bowl, y/n wrapped her arms around lando’s neck, hugging him tightly. lando reciprocated the hug. “i love you,” she whispered. 
“oh, baby, i love you too. are you okay?” he asked, worried that maybe he had crossed a line somehow. 
she sniffled and pulled back, “i’m okay. you’re just perfect, and i love you so much.” 
lando smiled at her, and pulled her against his chest. the two settled against the headboard, with y/n’s head on his chest as she slowly ate the khichdi. lando had pulled out his laptop and put on brooklyn nine nine for her. 
eventually, after she had finished eating, and he had forced the medicine down her throat, because she really did hate taking medicines, y/n had fallen asleep against his chest, wrapped in his arms, with his chin tucked over her head. lando had somehow never felt more at peace before. 
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
i hope you guys enjoyed this! ive had this idea stuck in my head for a while now. i'd gotten sick a couple weeks ago, and I thought of this and I was finally able to write it! i really hope all my desi girlies love this! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!
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enwoso · 5 months
Text
PUPPY LOVE — alessia russo
*i don’t want anyone to think i haven’t forgotten about anyone’s request, i’ve started/planned all those that have been sent in and i’m slowly getting through them, and some should be posted by the end of the week! but thank you for the support on my last fics. i love and appreciate you all<33*
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you loved your birthday.
some people you knew hated the thought of being born in january, as they saw it as a depressing and cold month. the fact it was right after christmas and all the festivities had died down. but you, you loved it.
after christmas and new year it gave you something to be excited for. having your birthday in the first week of january wasn't all too bad, christmas lights still lingered in the streets as well as small hints of christmas left behind. it all brought a huge smile to your face.
the sun peering though the crack in the curtains as alessia laid draped over you, her arm stretched across your body as her face was hidden in your neck. not wanting to disturb the blonde, you lay looking at the ceiling as your fingers rubbed through her hair.
not long after the blonde began to stir, moving a little as her face became a little more clear as a smile appeared on your face. brushing the loose blonde hairs that had escaped her low bun she had slept in, out of her face.
her head moving a little so you could not see her and the small smile that was on her lips, "happy birthday, tesoro" she mumbled her eyes still shut as she placed a gentle and sleep kiss on you neck. "i love you"
"thank you, lessi. i love you too" you turned to move the blonde so that you were both now facing each other instead of her lying on top of you, a few grumbles coming from the blonde as you moved her that she was already comfy.
looking at her, her eyes just beginning to open slightly as she rubbed them as they adjusted to the light that was beaming into the room. grinning as she pulled you closer back into her embrace, the tips of your noses touching.
a few moments of silence happen, before you close the gap. attaching your lips to the blondes. it was slow and soft the kiss, full of love. her hands found your waist, her fingertips warm as they drew tiny little circle on your hips. pulling away, not before pecking your lips a few more times making you giggle as she smiled.
"hope your ready for today to be all about you?" she whispered as your eyebrows raised, she had been telling you that she had been planning your birthday for weeks but unfortunately for you, you hadn't been able to drag out of her what she had planned.
usually you could push a few buttons and the blonde would crack, telling you her plans but this time she had been determined to keep it a secret making you even more curious about what she had planned.
"mhm and what does that entail?" you asked, as the blonde just smiled not saying a word instead kissing your cheek and pulling the covers off her. grabbing her phone from the bedside table leaving the bed cold as she reached the doorway.
"you just have a shower, get ready and when you come down all will be revealed" she sung out as you narrowed your eyes.
"i don't like all this secrecy from you russo!"
after having a nice slow get ready, you were finally making your way down the stairs, voices getting louder with each step you took. reaching the bottom to see the whole of your lounge decorated, balloons scattering the floor and a big happy birthday sign on the wall with a balloon arch going over the top of it.
being in shock of how much effort had gone into the decoration of the room, you hadn't even processed the fact that alessia's family and your family were sitting in the living room.
"happy birthday teeny! gio yelled, hearing alessia's parents and yours say it too but his standing out and being the loudest pulling you out from your day dream.
the nickname coming from your height difference not only from him but also your girlfriend. you being a few inches small then her.
"how long did this even take you to do?" you asked the blonde as she came over, flapping her brother on the way for the teasing comment as she wrapped you up in a hug. "oh i did this last night after you had gone to sleep!" she whispered in your ear.
"you look beautiful by the way" she kissed your cheek pulling away from the hug, as you went over to your parents saying your hellos to them as well as alessia's parents and brothers.
falling into conversation, as well as eating breakfast that your parents had brought for you. the morning going off to a lovely start surrounded by the people you love as you moved onto opening your presents as you were beginning to get bored of listening to giorgio ask when you were going to open them.
the younger russo brother insisting that you opened the one of him and luca first, it being a bottle of perfume which you had been wanting for some time, "woah, you guys shouldn't have" you sat with the box in your hand, standing up to hug the two of them in thanks.
"we had a little help from someone on which one to buy" luca said flashing a smile to alessia as you grinned.
"thank you!
moving onto your parents who had gotten you tickets to see a concert in london that you had been wanting to go to and alessia's parents getting you a weekend spa trip away, for you and alessia to enjoy one weekend when you both were off.
which left alessia who passed you a bag, moving the tissue paper from the top - revealing a small white bag and inside was a jewellery box. opening it there was a small dainty bracelet with a heart charm dangling from it. "here, look it has my initials on it and the. there's yours" your girlfriend pointed to the two letters AR and then to yours which was right next to hers.
"oh lessi you shouldn't have" you pouted, leaning over to wrap her in a hug, pecking her lips a few times as you pulled back from the hug. before wrapping her in a tighter hug.
"thank you lessi" you whispered as you hugged her, awhs being heard around the room from both familys. the blonde smiling, kissing you cheek a few times before you let go.
"i have one more thing for you.." alessia grinned as she reached down beside where she was sat, getting a small round box out that had a pretty bow on it. your brows furrowed as you looked down admiring the gifts the blonde had already gotten you wondering what more could you need from her. "here" the blonde said handing you the small round gift box.
opening the box left you even more confused, a small bright green fuzzy tennis ball - smaller than your regular tennis ball. you looked to the blonde who was sitting next to you a nervous laugh escaping you.
"i know i said i wanted a new hobby but- we, we both know i'm rubbish at sports!" you giggled not really understanding the gift looking at the russo brothers and her parents for any sort of hint of what the gift meant.
"it's not for you silly!" alessia was the one to laugh this time, leaving you to try and follow along with the riddles, "then who?" you hesitantly laughed, as the blonde stood up not saying a word and leaving the room coming back seconds later.
"for this little one!" alessia beamed, in her arms a small dark brown puppy. you sat in shock, no words could be found as the happy tears began to well in your eyes. as the blonde got closer, she placed the small puppy in your arms a red blanket covering it too keep it warm.
"no way- is this ours.. to keep?" you stuttered, your voice betraying you as you tried not to let the tears spill.
"of course, he's our little fur baby" alessia grinned as she sat next to you in her original seat, stroking the puppy on the head as you sat in utter awh.
you had been pestering the blonde for months now, about getting a dog. spending countless hours during a night time trying to convince her why having a dog would be a good idea but the answer was always, 'we both don't have time for a dog'
you had even got as far as one time drawing up a schedule of how a dog would fit into your schedule to show the blonde that it was possible to have a little puppy in your life but the answer was always the same.
"what you gonna call him then?" gio yelled over, as you looked up from your little fur baby. thought taking over you, "snoopy." you nodded out loud as everyone looked at you with raised eyebrows.
"yeah, snoopy. he suits it" you said, it sounded as if you were trying to convince yourself but also everyone in the room. "snoopy it is then!" alessia confirmed, smiling at you who was looking down at the puppy with so much love.
the rest of the day was spent with you having snoopy in your arms or cuddling with the little puppy or watching him as he napped making sure that he wasn't woken.
the two of you had bonded for life, he was your little child. that evening was spent with you cuddling with less as you watched a film she had let you pick as you cuddled with snoopy however both you and snoopy fell asleep within the first five minutes.
and there was no better way to end a perfect birthday.
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liked by bethmead and 820,741 others
alessia if i ever loose them both, at least i know if i find one i’ll find the other cause there never apart!
comments -
bethmead a new friend for myle!
-> alessia can’t wait to introduce them🥹
ellatoone y/n finally got you to cave then?
-> alessia she did, love our little man snoopy!!
-> yourusername best birthday present ever!
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blues824 · 2 years
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Diasomnia Wakes Reader Up From a Sleeping Curse
Gender-neutral reader, Hurt/comfort. Poll Winner.
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Malleus Draconia
When he saw his beloved Y/N lying in their bed, he could feel both sadness and anger bubbling up in him. Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade had made a mistake in Potionology, and you were still paying the consequences of their own actions. The dragon fae gently took off his gloves and placed his hand delicately on your cheek, flinching at how cold your skin was.
If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were dead. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. Your name and death did not belong in the same sentence, let alone together at all. No, you were merely asleep, and of that he was glad.
He knew the cure for the curse, and he was a bit happy that he knew of your feelings for him, but that didn’t particularly mean he was your true love. The fact that you two were courting didn’t mean anything in matters like this. However, there was no harm in trying to wake you up. So, the Crowned Prince of Briar Valley held your face gently as he leaned forward.
His lips gently brushed up against yours, staying there for a few seconds. He pulled back, and upon seeing that you hadn’t moved, his heart became very heavy. He turned away and started pulling his gloves on, when…
“Tsunotarou?”
Malleus had never turned around so quickly as he rushed back to your bedside. He helped you sit up, and his chest was pounding as you looked into his eyes. You reached your hand out and held the side of his face, and the fae prince moved his face to press a kiss to your palm. Oh, he had never been so relieved.
He quickly leaned forward and placed another kiss upon your lips, and he was so glad to feel you reciprocate the affection. The Diasomnia crew was waiting in the living room, and they all stood up when they saw their leader carrying you in a bridal carry, silently announcing that you were alright.
Don’t get him mistaken, though. He is definitely going to bring pain and suffering to Ace and Deuce for inflicting such a curse upon his beloved. If he could, they would probably be burnt to a crisp. But, he will inform the Headmage so that the troublesome duo can be punished properly.
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Lilia Vanrouge
He was very amused to hear that his Y/N was put under a sleeping curse by the ADeuce duo. Oh, you could never stay away from those two, and it always led to you getting in trouble. No matter, as he loves playing the part of your knight in shining armor. However, as he gazed upon your sleeping figure, a grim atmosphere took place.
Your skin was cold to the touch, very unnatural for someone as lively as you usually were. It was a chill that he had known before, one that not even the coldest of winters could compare to. The freeze of death. It brought him only a little comfort to know that you were just asleep, a mock of death.
The two idiots who had put you under the curse had informed him of the cure, not that he needed it anyways because he already knew. What he didn’t know was if he was your true love, since he was certain that you were his. Lilia brushed some hair out of your face as he leaned forward.
As he held your face, he tried to feel if you went warm. However, when he pulled away from the kiss, there was no change. The fae’s heart was broken, and he worried that you would never wake up. As he walked to the door, he heard something.
“Darling?”
Mans just about ran back to your side, pressing kisses all over your face. Your skin had become warm, and the light in your eyes was back (albeit a bit dimmed). You took a bit of time to admire his mature form, as he didn’t have the energy to go back to the younger version of himself. His long hair was beautiful, and you ran your hand through it.
He urged you to stay in bed to recover some of your strength as he went down to the rest of the Diasomnia quartet to inform them that you were alright. Silver was glad that his ‘other parent’ (not official… yet) was alright, and even Sebek was relieved. Malleus was glad to hear that you would be recovering soon.
Oh, but what you or anyone else did not know was that as they were leaving you and Lilia behind at Ramshackle, the other three were going to fight Ace and Deuce in the most disrespectful way possible. I hope the boys like dirt, because they’re gonna be eating it soon.
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Silver
He was just in a complete state of shock when Sebek informed him that Ace and Deuce had accidentally put you under a sleeping curse. As his fellow knight, the half-fae felt obligated to be the one to share the news. He promised to cover the young Vanrouge’s guard shift as he went to go see you and help with the cure.
The moment he entered your bedroom, he could feel the atmosphere was completely off. Where was your voice? Where was his hug as he entered the door? He placed the back of his hand upon your forehead, only to retract his arm after discovering you were cold. 
One thing that Sebek made sure not to forget to tell Silver was that the only thing that could get you to wake up was a kiss of true love, and that scared him. One’s True Love is similar to a soulmate; one’s heart could not beat without the other. How was anyone sure that he was your true love?
Silver placed a gentle but fleeting kiss upon your lips, quickly pulling back to see if your eyes had opened, but nothing changed. The knight let two tears fall as he got up to leave. The moment where he placed his hand on the door handle, he heard you gasp.
“Love?” 
Oh, the sweet sound of your voice was the one that he needed to hear at that moment. He was immediately back at your side as he grabbed your hand in his to place a kiss on your knuckle. Upon touching you, you were warm. He could physically feel his heart beating again in pure relief that 1) he was your confirmed true love and 2) you would be okay.
Unfortunately, all of this really took a lot out of him, so he laid next to you in the bed and held you close. This caused you to laugh, brushing some hair out of his face as you cuddled into him and placed a kiss on his lips this time.
You made sure to text Lilia that you were okay and awake, and that Silver was exhausted, so he would be staying at Ramshackle overnight. He finally looked at peace in his sleep, and you quickly took a picture as a keepsake. However, you weren’t going back to sleep yet. You just woke up, after all.
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Sebek Zigvolt
He was in the Potionology class where you were put under the curse, and he was the one who lifted you up in a bridal carry and brought you back to Ramshackle so that you would be comfortable. The two imbeciles who caused this told him in the living room of the run-down dorm that the only known curse was a kiss of true love.
This caused a million thoughts to run through the half-fae’s head as he gazed upon your sleeping figure. Sure, the two of you were courting, but that didn’t mean he was your true love. He knew that you were his, because he placed you above Malleus in importance. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here.
Sebek took his glove off as he walked over to your bed side. He grabbed the side of your face, and he didn’t like how cold you were. He took a deep breath, before committing. He leaned towards your face to place his lips onto yours. A stray tear he didn’t know was coming fell upon your cheek, making it look like it was you who was crying. 
He felt as though you had every right. For everything you suffered through at the hands of Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Crowley, along with everyone else, he honestly wishes you would cry. Especially now, as there was no sign of you waking up. All his hope vanished as he got up to leave, when he heard you shift around in your bed.
“Sebek?”
The knight turned around to see that your eyes were open and looking at him as you tried to sit up. He rushed over to assist you, relieved that you were awake and alright. However, this made him realize something: he was your true love. He quickly placed a kiss upon your forehead, relishing in the warmth finally emitting from your skin.
As he helped you out of bed and with walking (a curse could leave you disoriented) downstairs, he made sure that at the bottom he gave the two idiots a piece of his mind. How dare they be so incompetent and not even apologize for making you go through that?
If you were being honest, the utmost care that the usually brash First Year was showing you as he gently sat you down at a nearby chair so that he could continue the argument made your heart melt. He was genuinely worried about you, and it definitely showed. You would think you were made of glass, but you were aware that it was his way of conveying his love for you.
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gloomwitchwrites · 5 months
Text
Just Like Dad (2 of 4)
Content & Warnings: referenced military career, domestic fluff, some humor, canon-typical swearing, Kyle is a girl dad
Word Count: 935
A/N: Part of the Imagines & What If Series
An evening of peace is interrupted when Kyle has to answer questions about what he does for a living.
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // just like dad masterlist
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Peace is shattered.
It always is when you have a kid.
It’s not just scraped knees or melted ice cream splattered on the pavement. Sometimes, peace is shattered because your child is a feral goblin who decides disturbing your sleep is the perfectly logical thing to do.
Wearing a pink onesie, standing in the bedroom doorway with her little fist raised and clutching a thin piece of paper, you and Kyle’s six-year-old daughter is ominously backlit by the hallway light. Kyle blinks, a little stunned by the sight before him. You shift beside him, one hand reaching out to him, murmuring his name.
There are a few seconds between her sudden appearance and the leap onto the bed. She spider-crawls like a thing out of a horror movie.
“Bloody hell,” groans Kyle, pinching the bridge of his nose as his daughter perches like a gargoyle next to him.
“Daddy,” she whispers.
You are already awake, turning over onto your back with squinted eyes as you’re blasted by the bright light of the hallway.
Before you can even speak, Kyle is shaking his head, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve got this,” he groans, sitting up to turn on the bedside light. You glance at your daughter before returning to your original position.
Kyle rests his forearms on his bent knees, staring at his daughter who gazes at him with a peppy eagerness like she’s just eaten a cake heavily coated in icing. She shouldn’t have this much energy at this late hour.
“Go to bed,” says Kyle. “It’s past bedtime.”
She clutches the thin piece of paper. “I wanted to show you earlier.”
While Kyle is typically indulgent when it comes to her, he’s not feeling that way at the moment. He only wants to sleep.
“It’s late, bug,” he replies. “Tomorrow.”
She shakes her head, her tight curls bouncing slightly. “I didn’t know what to put here. You don’t talk about your job.” She points to a spot on the paper, and Kyle frowns as he peers closer.
Fuck.
It’s one of those questionaries where the child answers all these questions about themselves, and several pertain to her parents and what they do. She has left that entire section blank. Kyle understands that schools do this so that the students can build identity in their community while also making connections with classmates.
But she’s right. Kyle doesn’t talk about his job. At least not with her. You, his wife, are an entirely different story. You, the one who has been through nearly all of it, is the only person who truly knows everything. His daughter is far too young to know specifics or to fully comprehend the sheer violence of his work.
“You’re right, love. I don’t.”
“Why?” she asks automatically.
This is not a conversation he wants to be having. She needs to be in bed, and Kyle should be asleep and spooning you before he has to take this feral fiend of a daughter to school in the morning.
Kyle sighs and runs his hand over his face. “Where is this coming from?”
Her face falls slightly, and then becomes steel. “I want to be like you,” she says. “I want to grow up and be strong.”
No, babygirl. No. You don’t want to be like me.
You stir beside him, shifting like you’re about to turn and join the conversation. But Kyle knows you need your rest, and this isn’t the sort of conversation he desires to have this late at night.
That hardness melts away, and Kyle’s heart fractures slightly. She’s so small and yet so determined. Her little fist clutching the paper shakes slightly as if asking him is taking all her strength.
“Give me the paper.” Her smile widens as she hands it over. “And go turn off the hall light.” She groans loudly and Kyle shushes her as she throws herself off the bed and drags herself to the hall.
The light flicks off, and then she’s rushing back to him. He pats the side of the bed, and she crawls in, curling up next to him as he grabs the book off his bedside table.
“Pencil?” he asks, and she whips one out, her smile wide.
Kyle snorts and snags it, twirling it end-over-end as he tries to formulate an answer to the questions. Some of that gentle humor slips away, falling into memory, all the lead and blood and carnage comes back, roaring in his ears.
He takes a deep breath, silencing it all.
Graphite touches paper, and Kyle begins jotting down answers to all the things his daughter didn’t answer. She rests her head against his shoulder, watching the pencil scratch across the paper.
When he’s done, he presents the paper, and his daughter takes it reverently, as if all the secrets she doesn’t have are now suddenly before her. She does not take the pencil as she slips off the bed and starts to sprint for the door. She comes to a halt and turns on her heel, running back to him.
“Thanks, Daddy,” she says a little too loud before kissing his cheek and heading out into the hall.
The bed shifts, and Kyle turns to look at you as you twist to face him.
“What did you write?” you murmur.
Kyle sighs and shuts off the bedside light. He snuggles in, and you reach for him in the dark. Wrapping his arms around you, he pulls you close, inhaling your scent, allowing his mind to drift toward dreaming.
“A nice truth,” replies Kyle softly just before he slips into sleep.
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Text
gotta keep these kids on leashes
pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader, geto suguru, shoko ieiri (gojo’s past arc)
genre + warnings: - MAJOR FLUFF !! alooot of swearing, smoking, sexual jokes, mention of grandparents doing it (lmao you gotta read it to understand), reader wants to murder the bois, suguru wants to die, everybody is CRAZY!
word count: 3,350 (rip)
summary: OKAY i wrote it. the dynamic quartet is back doing... nothing good. suguru gets hit on, the three losers do crazy stuff and surprisingly no one dies (shocker) :0
enjoy this tomfoolery <3
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The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the curses are dying and you're not the one doing the killing, your head isn't pounding and your bed is so, so soft. Your window is slightly parted so the cool breeze is making the curtains dance and your skin prick. Nuzzling your head on the plush pillow and pulling your blanket higher so only your head is visible, you open your eyes, check the time, remember you have no classes, smile to yourself and dive back into the warm embrace that is sleep. 
Until the tranquil atmosphere is disrespectfully shattered by the idiots you call your ‘friends’.
Your door is kicked open and the sudden sound was enough to make you jump and reach for your katana leaning against the bedside table. Your vision is blurry but your katana is half unsheathed as you contemplate killing the two perpetrators. 
“Yeesh, you're hostile in the morning,” Satoru grins as he kneels on the ground and rests his obnoxiously large head on his obnoxiously large palms on the foot of your bed, like some petulant child who broke a vase and is now being their best self to appease their parents. “Nice bedhead,” his grin gets exponentially larger and your hand twitches against the hilt of your katana.
“I told you we should've knocked. You never listen, Satoru,” Suguru sighs as he walks through the gap that used to be your door. 
Your morning is thoroughly fucked. The birds are dead, the curses are in your room, your head feels like it will explode and there are tiny fragments of wood all over your bed. 
Your jaw clenches and eyes darken as you fully unsheathe your katana with the pure intention of murdering these morons. 
“I will give you 10 seconds to run and hide.”
“Aw c’monnn,” Satoru’s obnoxious voice drawls as he attempts to pat your head, but before your blade had the chance to amputate his wrist, Suguru’s hand held Satoru’s away from you; therefore preventing a major bloodshed from occurring. Ever the mediator.
“Okay I think we pissed her off enough, Satoru,” Suguru says calmly as Satoru pouts with a small “Aw man”. Suguru lets go of Satoru’s hand as he slowly takes the katana from your hands and puts it into its scabbard. Releasing a breath he places his hand on your head and gently smooths down your wild mane. 
He drawls your name and you look at him with furrowed brows and a deep scowl. 
He chuckles, “We’re gonna have a day out and you can get all the mochi and pancakes your heart desires. Our treat, for ruining your sleep and…” he looks at the desecrated door, “…your door.” You hear Satoru whine about why you let Suguru touch your hair and not him and choose to ignore it.
He smiles when he sees the glint in your eyes at the mention of mochi and pancakes and your scowl gets smaller and brows get straighter. You sigh and get up off the bed, “Fine. I have to get dressed so get out.”
“Don’t be late, mochiii~ we’ll be waiting.” He manages to dodge the hairbrush you throw at his head perfectly as he jumps up to run out of the room while giggling like a schoolgirl.
Suguru laughs as he follows his dumbass friend out and you look at your completely fucked door, wondering what you did to deserve this. 
—-
“Can you shut up, please? I'm begging at this point,” Your voice is tired and your eyes are glaring holes into the brunette’s head as she laughs and chortles into oblivion. 
“They- broke your- they broke your door-” more laughter. “Dude this is a comedy-” more laughter and snorting. “comedy- gold-” Shoko slaps the table and wheezes as various strangers stare at the two of you and mutter among themselves with concerned faces.
You silently poke at your half-eaten cheesecake as you try to forget the events of the morning and ignore the moron sitting before you. 
“Why didn't they torment you like that?” you grumble as you cut up the poor cheesecake with your fork and turn it into mush.
Shoko takes heaving breaths and sniffles as she takes a sip of her matcha latte and drags her chair forward. Her voice is light and thoroughly amused, “Because I'm not fun to tease. You, on the other hand, are the best person to tease,” her lips tilt up to a grin as she stirs her drink with her straw.
You stare at her with dead eyes. “I hate you,” you deadpan.
“Yeah, I love you too,” her grin gets wider and a few chuckles escape her as she bites on her straw.
The mall was pretty packed considering it was the weekend. Pretty girls window shopping and checking out people with their pretty friends. Couples walking around holding hands and laughing at each other's jokes. It was fun to watch them live their lives, as you lived yours. You wish you wore one of your cute, normal outfits instead of your uniform, just for today. But as you look down at your uniform, you appreciate it more. This uniform got you through some crazy times. Some near deaths, some deaths, a lot of blood. You feel comfortable in it, and it doesn't look completely awful. 
Suddenly, you hear your name and Shoko’s name being yelled at in the distance and you both look at each other apprehensively and look around the little open cafe you were in. You quirk an eyebrow at Shoko and she shrugs, but then the sound of Satoru’s obnoxious voice yelling both of your names cuts through the chatter of the crowd and you both look to the side to see him running toward your table at full-speed screaming like an idiot. The moment he reaches your table he slams both hands down and heaves and wheeze as people stare at you with genuine concern.
“What the hell?! I've been looking everywhere for you two,” Satoru yanks Shoko’s matcha latte from her hands despite her “Hey!” of protest and makes a scrunched-up, disgusted face upon inspecting the bitten straw. He proceeds to open the plastic lid, chug the remaining latte, crumple up the cup into a tiny ball using his Limitless technique and drop it on the table for you and Shoko to gawk at. 
He then looks at your cheesecake-turned-paste concoction and makes another face of pure disgust. “Can't you losers eat properly? Jeez,” he complains as he takes your plate and finishes the cheesecake mutation in two bites.
“Satoru…” you sigh for the umpteenth time that day, as you pinch the bridge of your nose.
“What do you want?” Shoko completes for you with her nonchalant voice as she rummages her purse for her pack of cigarettes. At this point, you know you need one too.
He makes wild arm gestures like a cheerleader for every word he utters, “Suguru. Is. Getting. Hit. On.”
Your face is unimpressed and Shoko says “Aha” while holding up a pack of cigarettes.
Satoru visibly deflates as a look of pure shock crosses his face at the shameless nonchalance you both are portraying.
“Okay. So?” you shrug as you pick at your nails with your teeth.
Satoru pulls your hand down and holds it there as he leans down and gawks at you with his jaw dropped and furrowed silver brows. 
“No, no. This is serious. Suguru is getting hit on and we're wasting time,” he stares into your eyes and you can see your reflection in the dark glass of his sunglasses. You bring up your free hand to fix your hair using his sunglasses as a mirror and something in his head cracks as he jolts up, grabs Shoko’s hand, and pulls you both towards the scene of the crime. You both scramble to take your purse and you leave more than enough money on the table before being dragged away by a tall, crazy man.
“Listen up. We are going to embarrass the shit outta him, okay?” He's walking faster as he makes his way out of the air-conditioned mall towards the outdoor food court. You and Shoko are reluctantly following him as you honestly have nothing better to do and you can't lie; embarrassing Suguru sounds really fun. 
“Roger that, sir,” you do a mock salute and hear Satoru chuckle. “What's the plan?” 
“You two will attack first. Shoko you gotta be as scary as possible and-” Satoru’s master plan phase-1 was interrupted by Shoko asking a tangible question. Or actually; questions.
“How scary? Can I slap him? Can I throw water on his face? Should I cry?”
Satoru groans and starts walking even faster. “Okay, you can do all of that, but remember your role is the ‘cheated girlfriend’, alright? You're mad but sad. Mad and sad.”
You hear Shoko mutter “okie” right as Satoru says your name, “You can act as the ‘cheated wife’ or something. Cry, latch onto him, beg him. Go crazy,” he throws a sly grin over his shoulder and you're concerned about the evil lilt his voice took when he said the word ‘crazy’.
“And what about you? What's your role?” you ask as you feel him slow down. You look ahead and see Suguru talking with a pretty woman with long, straight black hair. Satoru stops, steps behind you and Shoko, and says with his usual cocky demeanor, “You’ll see, Lil' Mochi,” and doesn't give you the chance to complain about the nickname as he shoves you both towards the victim of ‘Satoru’s Master Plan Phase-1’.
You and Shoko look at each other with devilish grins as you activate your inner drama queens and launch yourselves toward one unaware, unprepared Geto Suguru.
You gasp and squeal with a shaking hand against your open mouth, “Oh my- Geto Suguru?! How dare you! Especially now- how could-” You choke on a fake sob and place your palm on your stomach as Suguru slowly turns back with wide eyes and a bulging vein on his temple. 
“While I'm pregnant with YOUR CHILD?! You're inhuman!” you fall to your knees fake crying your heart out as you cover your face with both palms and try your hardest to not break character.
You hear gasps all around you and the sound of Suguru stuttering, and you wonder if you overdid it.
You then feel someone lift you with their hands on your arms. You glance to see Shoko acting all ‘mad and sad’ as you fall into her arms and fake cry some more.
“It's okay, I understand,” she pats your head with her soft hands and spits fake venom at an even more bewildered Geto Suguru. “He tricked me too. He was cheating on you with me first, you know?” You crank up the fake crying upon hearing this and you feel Shoko’s chest shake and you feel your concentration slipping.
Shoko nudges your head and you look at her with completely dry eyes, as you keep clutching your completely baby-less stomach. Shoko pulls out two water bottles and hands you one. She nods at you and you nod at her. You both look at Suguru and he looks like he just watched his dead grandmother have sex with his dead grandfather or something. He looks aghast. You and Shoko walk towards him and Shoko steps ahead of you as you wait your turn.
“This is for cheating on me, you spineless pig! Even though I was cheating on you too!” she declares as she drenches Suguru in cold water. You hear more gasps and you see the woman he was previously talking to blanch with wide eyes and a slacked jaw. Suguru stands completely still as his bangs drip with water and his left eye twitches in pure rage.
Well, it's your turn. You step up and stare him down and fear for your life when Suguru stares back at you with a dangerous look in his eyes. You gulp down your fears and put on the bravest face you can muster, “And this is for breaking my heart and my hymen! And you weren't even that good!” For the added effect you choke on a fake sob after the last sentence and dowse him in some more cold water. You hear a bark of laughter from the crowd and you huff and hold onto Shoko as you both slowly step away from him as his cursed energy slowly grows and grows. Suguru drags his hand down his face and flicks his wrist splattering water by his side when you hear an obnoxiously loud scoff followed by an even louder voice.
“Can you stop your cryin’? It's hurting my ears,”
Satoru stands there looking like a full-on trophy wife, left arm stacked with shopping bags and right hand on his hip. Dazzled in a silver satin shirt; he definitely wasn't wearing before, with the top buttons open and sunglasses perched on his head, giving the crowd a clear view of his glittering sapphire eyes and very open chest. 
You and Shoko gape at him in horror and you both look back at Suguru who looks like he might just explode. His uniform is soaked, his front hair is sticking to the side of his face, and his eyes just about look like they do when he’s fighting curses, except now they look unmerciful.
“Sugu, I'm done with my shopping. How about we go look at some furniture now, hm? ” Satoru slings the shopping bags over his shoulder and sends Suguru just about the sultriest look you've ever seen his face make. 
You glance at Shoko and she glances back, and you both bite your lips to stop yourselves from spiraling into a peal of uncontrollable laughter. 
Suguru seems to have had enough, as his eyes glazed over and he turns around to face the downright terrified lady. 
“You seem nice, but I have some…” Suguru pauses, rethinks his sentence, and continues with a curt nod, “Well, take care.”
He gives her the sweetest, fakest smile as she returns a smile that looks more like a grimace and turns away. She looks back again and sees you and Shoko clutching onto each other for dear life, Suguru still smiling at her with a twitching eye and veins popping on his temple and neck, and Satoru spinning around swishing his shopping bags and singing Suguru’s name like a prayer, and quickly walks away. 
The crowd slowly dissipates as you, Shoko, and Satoru stand in silence and Suguru slowly turns around, smile gone, and eyes narrowed, “You idiots… are lucky I didn't like her.”
You break first, and then Shoko, and soon the two of you are shaking each other, rolling around and laughing like absolute menaces. Satoru chortles seeing Suguru’s unimpressed poker face and walks up to him, placing the shopping bags down on the floor.
“C’mon it was funny and besides, we saved your ass. She seemed so boooring,” Satoru drawls and gags.
Suguru exhales as he closes his eyes and the muscle in his jaw twitches. Satoru finds a chink in his armor and grins. He's gonna break.
Satoru laughs and throws his arm around his best friend's shoulder and calls out to you and Shoko.
You two wheeze and try to catch a breath as you see Suguru’s serious face on the verge of breaking.
“Suguru, for the record, I thought she was really pretty,”
You voice your opinion with an innocent smile and Satoru facepalms. 
Shoko giggles and shoves you, “That doesn't help, you idiot.” 
You throw your head back and laugh, “I dunno dude, I think I lost a bunch of brain cells after that performance.”
“Not like you had any to begin with, Mochiii ~” Satoru mocks and you launch yourself at him as you both run around Suguru, you yelling profanities at Satoru and Satoru chanting “Mochi” and laughing like the actual spawn of the devil. 
Suguru finally cracks. Resting his hands on his knees, he bends down and laughs freely, uninhibited; like a child. Shoko smiles and takes out two cigarettes from the pack she safely kept in her uniform pocket. She puts one between her strawberry lips and taps Suguru on his drenched head with her knuckles. Suguru looks up, his laughter subsiding, and accepts the outstretched cigarette held between Shoko’s fingers. He places it between his lips as he rummages his pockets for his little orange lighter. Finding it, he lights his cig and holds it in front of Shoko, as she lights her one. They stand next to each other and smoke their cigarettes while watching Satoru teleport behind you as he grabs you by the waist and spins you around. The sound of his cackling and your screaming fades into the background as Shoko asks, “You think they’ll ever tell each other?”
Suguru leans his head back and blows smoke into the sky. As people start filing out of the food court, you and Satoru were the only rambunctious morons making all the noise in the entire area. He looks at the scene unfolding before him; your head is locked between the junction of Satoru’s arm as his knuckles attack you with fierce noogies. You’re giggling while flailing around like a fish out of water as you try to shove him away but to no avail. Suguru huffs a laugh and takes another drag of his half-smoked cigarette, “Maybe, but not without help.” He nudges Shoko’s shoulder with his own and gives her a devilish grin. Shoko chuckles and stubs out her cig on the sole of her shoe, “What were you thinking? Push their faces together or ask Yaga Sensei to assign them on a joint mission?” She snorts, “That’d be something.”
Suguru hums. He stubs the cigarette butt on the ground and puts it in his pocket and says grinning cheekily, “Nah, I was thinking something more ridiculous. Something fit for two morons of their caliber.” 
Shoko quirks an eyebrow and shakes her head with a smile, “Alright.”
You manage to escape Satoru's iron-clad grip after much effort. You boot him on his shin and make a run toward Shoko, tackling her in a massive bear hug. Shoko reciprocates the hug and you two waddle around conjoined like two baby penguins. 
“Ow! That hurt!” Satoru limps toward Suguru and leans on him with his arm on his shoulder while Suguru does a hand-clapping motion. He receives a flick on the cheek from Satoru for that. 
“That was literally the point, stupid,” you flip him off as he returns the very thoughtful gesture. You both chuckle and Suguru and Shoko send each other cheeky looks.
“Don’t think this is over, by the way,” Suguru says with a vengeance as he flicks you and Shoko on the forehead, to which you both reply with a small “ow”.
“I will get you all back for this. And it won't be pretty,” he ends his threat by flicking Satoru on the forehead; to which he replies with a whiny “I'm already injured, maaaan”.
“Bring it on, champ,” you grin and smack him on his back as you finally release Shoko as you pick up the shopping bags and swing them by your sides. Satoru joins you and takes a few off your hands as you all make your way out of the mall. The golden light marks your path with an incandescent glow. Time flies by incredibly fast when you’re with these children. It's scary, but at the same time, it's humbling. Being with them makes you want to live. They inspire you and drive you to reach greatness. They also make you want to store these precious moments into unbreakable vials or freeze time so you never have to leave. Nothing would go wrong, it would just be the four of you, through thick and thin, through blood and dust, through life and death. But you know you’re smarter than that. However, for today, you'll let yourself dream a little.
“So, how about some KFC?”
——————————————————————————-
a/n: not another slow-burn, pining, friends to lovers situation w satoru and reader whoops-
tagged: @porridgesblog, @stray-npc
2K notes · View notes
vminizzle · 2 years
Text
Under the bed
pairing : college boyfriend!jungkook x f.reader
genre : SMUT, fluffy tones
warnings : mention of biker!jungkook, dry humping, marking, LOVE MAKING, penetration, unprotected sex, praising, creampie, jungkook the cutest boyfriend and yes I’m so obsessed with college boyfriend Jungkook
words count : 2.1k
A/N : Hi lovely people, I hope y’all good. Well, here another mess of mine, I’m gonna be honest - I had this idea last night 💀 I hope you guys won’t be disappointed. I tried my best. My English is not as good as I wish but I’m still working on it. anyways, I hope it won’t flop and you’ll like it :) byeeeee
you can read "under the bed pt.2" (HERE)
FEEDBACKS ARE VERY WELCOMED
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M RATED
"c’mon be quiet" you whisper-yelled at your boyfriend as you help him get up.
"you’re crazy" you pulled him up from the floor. Jungkook decided to show up at your bedroom’s window in the middle of the night, tripping when he try to enter quietly.
"yea crazy about you" he grinned making you sigh.
"are you okay? did you hurt yourself?" you checked on him as he shake his head. "I’m good" he bent down a little to envelope your lips in a sweet kiss "I just missed you" he smiled caressing your cheek.
"I missed you too" you smiled back cupping his face into your hands as he smile widely.
"C’mon gimme your jacket-" you were about to take his jacket when you realize something.
"wait.. how did you come here? Did you come with your bike?! It’s dangerous it’s dark outside" you spoke loudly.
"shhh" he put his finger on your lips "you don’t want to wake your parents".
"where the fuck is your helmet?" You furrowed your eyebrows worried. Jungkook chuckled before patting your head "at Jimin’s".
"I left my bike in his garage” he explained.
You sighed deeply "gosh you’re lucky your best friend is my neighbor".
You walked to your desk chair resting his jacket on it. When you turned around Jungkook was standing just behind you. He took you in his strong arms, your hands flat on his chest as he pull you for a long kiss.
"I’m not kidding when I said I missed you" he whispered as he back you slowly to your bed until the back of your knees touched the edge of it. You let your bodies fell on the mattress, the soft sheets welcoming you.
"you’re so pretty in these pajamas" he teased caressing your sides. "shut up" you laughed slapping his arm earning a bunny smile from your boyfriend.
Jungkook bent down lips caressing the skin of your neck as he leave little wet kisses. His warm hands travelling under your shirt making goosebumps raised after his touch.
“Jungkook” his name leaving your throat as sweet as honey. The man just hummed against your -just found- sweet spot making you moan softly. The noises coming out of you turning him on.
His hands started fumbling with the buttons of your pajama shirt before you both jumped at the knock on your door.
"shit" you panicked.
"y/n? can I come in?" you heard your dad call from the other side. You looked at Jungkook with wide eyes before pushing him off of the bed, making a loud thump as he land on his ass groaning.
"hm.. I.. hide under the bed" you whisper-yelled making your panicked boyfriend nod quickly.
"y/n?" your dad called again "y-yea?" you cleared your voice as you grab the nearest thing on your nightstand to act like you were busy.
You saw light coming from the door as your dad open it slowly peeking inside "are you ok? I heard some noises coming from your room" he examined the room as he enter.
"oh y-yea.. I was just.. just reading. See" you held the book up "I accidentally drop it on the floor".
"oh, you know it’s not good to read in the dark" he approached trying to turn your bedside lamp on.
"no it burns.. burns my eyes.. the light is too bright so .. I use the moonlight" you gulped, your lies getting ridiculous.
He hummed before staring toward the opened window. "you didn’t close it?" He pointed to the window.
fuck.
"no, I was cold- no I mean hot!" you forced a smile.
"oh ok then. don’t sleep too late and close that window before sleeping" he patted your head before turning around to exit your bedroom making you sighed in relief but he suddenly stop in his track.
You opened your eyes widely as he looked at the jacket resting on your desk chair.
I’m dead.
You closed your eyes not knowing what to do.
Should I run away? Should I throw my body by the window?-
"what’s that jacket?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"it’s .. my boyfriend’s" you replied. "Oh the biker? what’s his name again.. Jang… no Jung-"
"It’s Jungkook" you bit back a smile making your dad sigh. "ah yes. Why is it here?" he interrogated.
"when you were at work earlier he came by just to say hi, since he was with Jimin.. the neighbor" you said looking away, not wanting him to realize you’re lying "and he forgot it"
"He came into your bedroom?" he asked a bit louder making you nervously play with your fingers.
"No! No he left it on… on the couch downstairs. So I decided to keep it here so i don’t forget to give it to him when we will see each other again" if he continued with this interrogation you would definitely cry.
He finally hummed after a few seconds "ok then. good night and don’t sleep late" he left the room closing the door behind him.
You let a breath out, all the nervousness evaporating. You got out of your bed rushing to the door locking it before putting your hand over your chest.
"damn that was something" you heard Jungkook said as he reveal himself getting up from the floor.
"I thought It was my last day on earth when he noticed my jacket" he kicked his shoes off before dropping on your bed, sprawling his body over the mattress.
You chuckled approaching him as he sit up "see. I’m not scared of death when it comes to you darling".
You scoffed as he grab your hand pulling you down on him, making you sit on his lap, thighs at each sides of his hips "I love you" he pecked your lips.
"I love you too" he smiled before ruffling your hair.
"so..hmm where were we?" he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. "just kiss me idiot" you grab his face into your hands pulling him closer to you.
"with pleasure" he said before connecting his lips with yours, kissing you slowly, his hands finding their places on your thighs caressing them softly. His mouth travelled down to your neck, your pulse accelerating as he suck on the smooth skin "Jungkook" you whimpered as your hands travel up to his soft hair.
Jungkook lightly bit on the skin making you pull his hair back. He licked the fresh mark as you unconsciously grind on him, making him hiss, his boner confined into his tight jeans starting feeling uncomfortable.
"I need you" he whispered against your lips before pushing his hips up making you feel his bulge. You cursed as he press you down on him helping you move your hips.
The pressure on your covered clit every-time you grind on him made you feel lightheaded already.
"please take me" you whispered back making Jungkook groan. He switched position, laying you on your back as he hover over you. He didn’t lose time as he unbuttoned your shirt throwing it on the carpeted floor, your short following right after, letting you on your underwear.
"fuck" he captured his bottom lip between his teeth the flesh turning white "you’re so fucking pretty" he caressed your tummy making you feel butterflies in your lower stomach. "I can’t wait to love you darling" he laid a soft kiss on your chest before sitting up on his knees taking his shirt off.
He was so attractive, his body was just a masterpiece. His torso so firm, his tattoos decorating his arm, and his hand running up and down your side. You just wanted him. right now.
He placed his knees on each sides of your waist, as he sat up a bit before taking your hand softly and placed it on his chest. He slid it slowly over his soft skin until it reached his boner.
“This - is because of you” he looked down at you lust fogging his mind.
He got off the bed getting rid of all his remain clothes before coming back to you, his fingers playing with your bra’s straps "Can I?" He asked leaving little wet kisses on your shoulder making you nod eagerly.
His next target was lower. Jungkook kissed his way down, sucking marks on your stomach making you grip his hair. He placed his hands on the waistband of your panties looking up at you waiting for your consent "please take it off" you shyness threw away for tonight.
He finally threw away the last piece of clothing covering you from him. He laid on his stomach between your legs, placing his arm under one of your thigh as he left love bites behind his trail as he get higher to where you needed him the most.
Jungkook’s lips lightly grazed on your glistening ones before you pulled him up to you making him look at you confused "I don’t have enough patience for the foreplay babe" you whined making him laugh.
"As you wish" he pecked your lips "but I have to check if you’re wet enough" he said fingers disappearing between your legs, rubbing your clit gently making you whine. "god you’re dripping" he slid his long fingers over your lower lips "stop teasing idiot" you said louder than you’ve thought.
“Shhh.. you don’t want your dad to come here again. You don’t want him to see his soon-to-be son-in-law having sex with his cute little daughter, do you?" he smirked.
You slapped his arm "stop saying bullshit. Plus, I locked the door".
Jungkook chuckled before spreading your legs making room for him to lay between them. He lowered himself to connect his lips with yours for the umpteenth time.
He ruted foward against your womanhood with a low moan “fuck”. Your essence on the tip of his erection already driving him insane. He teased your entrance, rubbing his cock on you as you whine.
He slapped the head of his cock on your throbbing clit teasingly, making you moan, the sudden action making you jolt.
"ready love?” he asked, one hand sliding down to your thigh to lift and place it over his waist.
"yes please"
Jungkook positioned himself at your entrance before entering you slowly making sure he wasn’t hurting you. “you good?” he asked when he completely bottomed out.
You groaned at the painful yet delicious stretch "fuck yes" you nodded eyes closed. He kissed your forehead "tell me if it hurts or if you want to stop hm" he said.
He started moving in and out of you slowly, picking up the pace when he notice the way you bite you lip, your grip on his bicep tightening.
"you feel so good" he moaned deeply, hair falling over this eyes.
You gripped on his shoulder tightly when he snapped his hips into yours suddenly making you cry out his name. “Jungkook!”.
"darling be quiet" he whispered into your ear biting on your earlobe making your roll your eyes in pleasure.
He couldn’t take his eyes off your face. You looked so pretty under him, forehead covered with little beads of sweat, mouth ajar, eyebrows furrowed.. You were just so beautiful.
He took a firm grip of your thigh, placing it higher on his hip as he thrust into you slowly making sure to enjoy the way your warm walls contracting around him everytime he hit your g-spot.
"right there oh my" you sobbed.
Your boyfriend bit his bottom lip hard as your fingernails were buried deep into the flesh of his scratched back.
"You feel so good, so warm around me” he groaned deeply as he felt you tighten around him.
You threw your head back deep into the pillow as you felt your high coming.
“I’m so near” you moaned loudly making Jungkook put his hand over your mouth.
“I got you baby shhh” his left hand travelling down between your bodies until it reached your bud of nerves. He drew little circles on your clit with his thumb lazily making you arch your back off the mattress.
You closed your eyes shut tight, your sounds of pleasure blocked by his hand. You came hard the pleasure unbearable. The way your walls keep convulsing around your boyfriend made him feel weak as he dropped his head on your chest, his breathing unsteady.
You intertwined your fingers with his as he rode your orgasm. Jungkook didn’t take much time to come inside you, his warm cum filling you up to the brim.
He collapsed on your sweaty body, his head buried into the crook of his neck breathing heavily. You caressed his head, threading your fingers into his black locks making him hummed against your skin.
"I love you y/n" Jungkook lift his face smiling softly, the moonlight showing off his pretty features as you push his hair back from his eyes.
"I love you Jungkook" you bumped his nose making him smile widely before hugging him .
After a few minutes he decided to break the pleasant silence "let’s get you clean up and then cuddle" Jungkook said impatient to just hold you in his arms to sleep.
A/N : aaahhh thank you so much for 300 followers 😭 you guys are amazing! thank you for your support Ily’all!! A part 2 for after Jk spent the night and get woken up by his father-in-law? 👀 have a nice day / night everyone
4K notes · View notes
notjustjavierpena · 12 days
Note
Thank you for the Husband Javi series. This family is absolutely incredible. Would you ever write about their miscarriage in between Lucas and Ines? It would definitely add to and shows strength of the bond between wife and Javi.
Loss
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N:  This was done with utmost respect and care. If anything in this piece is unrealistic and tasteless, I take full responsibility. Please read the tags.
Summary: You wake up to a nightmare.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)
Tags: Miscarriage, loss of a child, heavy angst, grief, child in distress, description of vomit, description of blood, brief mention of loss of a parent, hospitals, the inherent suffering and guilt of being a mother, hurt/comfort, somewhat happy ending
Word count: 5.4k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58943479
Loss
It is a known fact that you easily stir from your sleep when Javier is out of your reach, always needing to feel his skin on your own in some way even if it is just your fingertips touching him. It is why you are confused about being woken up by your body in the early morning hours when Javier’s hand rests so gently on your shoulder as he snores beside you. On top of it, having a toddler in the room next door makes you sleep through the night whenever you can. 
Lucas doesn’t need you right now. Javier is right there. There’s a hint of anxiety in your mind because the only explanation must be that something is wrong and your brain is yelling at you to figure out what. You sit up carefully, fumbling slightly as your hand searches for the light on your nightstand. You flick it on.
However, it is not the sight of red that makes your heart skip a beat. It is that you feel it; you are sitting in a pool of your blood, its dampness cold and clammy underneath you as it has soaked through your sleep shorts only to stain the sheets in a dark, crimson color. Where it comes from hasn’t clicked yet but when you throw the covers to the side, the realization of what is happening creates a drop in your stomach that is nauseating. 
Your heart sinks at the thought of what is lost and your breath catches in your throat before you let out a wreaking sob, frantically scooting back on the bed until you are pressed into the bedframe and wanting to get away from what feels like a bodily crime. Your hand is on your belly, your breathing so fast that it is dizzying. 
Beside you, Javier stirs from his sleep when his mind registers the noises coming from you. He blinks a few times in his barely-awake state, confusion evident on his features, until the realization hits him as well and his eyes widen. 
He sits up immediately and flicks on the lamp on his own bedside table, “Fuck, baby. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“I’m losing it,” you breathe so rapidly that you are about to throw up, trying to abstain from looking at the trail of blood you have made from moving around on the bed, “I’m losing the baby. Javi, I— I’m losing my baby. I’m lo— I’m losing my baby.”
Javier is out of bed not a moment after, having walked around it to stand by your side. He puts a firm hand on your shoulder, demeanor having changed to show that he is completely in control of the room. He squeezes you, “Hey, heyheyhey, hey, baby. Eyes on me, mi amor (my love).”
You raise your gaze to him, your wet eyes huge like a doe’s from the panic in your body. You sound so frail as you talk, your voice filled with nausea, and Javier feels like he could punch a hole into the Earth for you, “I’m not pregnant anymore. I’m— my baby. I’m not… Javi.”
“Honey, we gotta get you out of bed, okay?” Javier tries to hold his own tears at bay. He swallows a little too often, still struggling with the disorientation of being abruptly interrupted in his sleep. You take his hand when he offers it, and he gets you onto your feet, “That’s it, there you go. We have to get you to the hospital. They have to take a look at you. We don’t know anything yet.”
“I know but… I think I do know,” you are sobbing on the spot, barely comprehensible as you do it but you still follow when he starts guiding you down the stairs. He wraps you in your longest coat, gets the car keys, and walks you to the truck all the while praising you with each step.
“But the car seats,” you cry, trying not to gag from the whole situation, “I’m bleeding.”
“Fuck the car seats, baby,” he reassures, stroking his hands up and down your shoulders, “Listen to me. I’m going to get Lucas. I don’t want to leave you here all alone but I need to get him, okay?”
You nod with a whimper, so brave in this moment of peril that it floors him a little. How do you manage to think of anyone else when you are experiencing the most horrific thing? He unlocks the car for you and makes sure you get inside alright. 
“Five minutes,” he says, holding up his hand for show in case your ears are ringing like his are. Then he staggers back into the house with the most neutral expression he can force onto his face. Upstairs, Lucas is sobbing loudly in his nursery as he has sensed that his parents have gone. He is holding onto the railing of his bed, screaming his head off from anxiety but Javier feels nothing but relief at the sound because then at least he is alive and breathing. Who knew those little lungs could make such noise? 
He hurries to his son’s side and scoops him up into his arms, cooing soothing words at him as he moves through the house like he is treading water. Lucas doesn’t seem convinced and Javier doesn’t blame him, frustration building up in his chest as his son cries until he feels tears escaping his eyes as well. 
“I know, mijo (my son), I’m sorry we left, I’m so sorry,” he says with a shaky breath, passing the car with guilt in his chest to cross the neighbors’ front lawn. He knocks frantically on the front door, waiting impatiently while bouncing Lucas to make him settle even if it’s to no avail. 
The Correas, the elderly couple, who live next door open the door with bleary eyes, startled by the noise at three in the morning. Mrs. Correa looks at Lucas with sympathy but then frowns in concern at the lack of color on Javier’s face. 
“You alright, son?” Mr. Correa asks.
“I need to—“ Javier catches the swear that bubbles up in his throat but he doesn’t manage to keep his sob in. He bounces Lucas desperately but he still shrieks, “My wife needs to go to the hospital. I know it’s late but we really need your help. Can you take him? I know it’s a lot to ask for—“ 
They exchange glances of concern but then Mrs. Correa nods and her husband squeezes her shoulder with a little smile, “Of course, dear. Anything to help.”
Javier passes his son to them, and they already start comforting him with soothing words during his wailing for his parents. Javier hears him even as they close the door, bombarded with the image of his tiny frame being wracked by fear and confusion every time he blinks. He feels it coming as he approaches the car again, the burning sensation in his throat that makes him run to the nearest bush and empty his guts into it, coughing up bile because he hasn’t eaten since dinner time. He isn’t a father of two anymore. Was he ever? He can’t figure out where definitions start or end. This is worse than anything he felt back in Colombia.
Back in the car, you’ve gone numb. Javier finds you sitting in the backseat with your knees against your chest and your arms clutching around them. He swallows at the sight of the red stains on the car seats, the red on your palms too. You look so small as he glances at you in the rearview mirror, wrapped in yourself with your eyes distant as if you’re trying to make yourself disappear. He wants to say something but he is at a loss for words, figuring that he might make it worse if he tries to comfort you in a situation that is unable to be comforted. 
However, as the car takes off and he drives you towards the hospital, things seem to make everything worse on their own accord. You suddenly gasp on the backseat, clutching at your lower belly as your pelvic floor starts to cramp up. Any hope that this might have just been bleeding is squashed because you know instantly that your body is trying to reject something. 
Javier reaches behind his seat to take your hand in his own, feeling your clammy palm and trying his hardest to not let it show how helpless he feels, “I’m almost there, okay? They’ll get you something for the pain, baby. They’ll take care of you.” 
You nod with gritted teeth, feeling like the rest of the drive is longer than an eternity. Seconds feel like minutes, minutes like hours in this fog of pain mixed with grief. You don’t know when you’ve started crying again but tears drip down from your chin, landing on the coat that you try to drown in. 
When he’s finally pulling into the hospital’s parking lot, you’ve laid down on the backseat with tears streaming steadily down your face until they dampen your hair. You can barely breathe every time sharp pains in your pelvic floor crash over you like a wave, causing you to whimper like a wounded stray. 
Javier slams the door behind him as he hurries to help you out of the backseat. His heart hammers in his chest as adrenaline rushes through his veins. He remembers this feeling from his time in Colombia, the dizzying high from being on guard and ready to fight, but he didn’t actually think that he would ever experience it again. 
“C’mon, baby, just a few steps, attagirl,” he coos as he walks with his arm wrapped around your shoulders, you hanging onto him for support as you tremble. He was, however, never quite this gentle in Colombia. 
The automatic doors to the emergency room slide open and Javier can’t see anything for a few seconds due to how bright the lights are. He manages to get your staggering body inside, barely making it to the nurse at the front desk before she calls for assistance and a wheelchair. 
Two nurses help you into the chair, already asking questions that quickly blur together and follow each other so rapidly that he cannot comprehend what is being said, hearing nothing but the adrenaline-infused blood rush in his ears. You answer mechanically, something that frightens him too, your mind seemingly trying to process the reality of what is happening while he feels in the middle of it, overwhelmingly aware. 
They wheel you to a private examination room, helping you undress, and then onto a table. Javier follows helplessly behind, making himself known by saying your name so you don’t fear that he has abandoned you in all this. He holds your hand tightly while watching a middle-aged doctor enter the room, a serious expression on his face as the both of you cry silently. As the doctor does a quick scan of your belly, Javier tries to hold onto you, feeling as if you’ll fall apart if he lets go.
Your doctor is silent for a while, his mouth a thin line as he moves the stick around on your stomach. He looks like someone who hopes for better things than what he sees on the screen, uncomfortably quiet and drowned out by the whirring of the ultrasound machine. Eventually, he swallows thickly. 
“I’m so sorry,” he says softly. “There’s no heartbeat.”
The words hit Javier like a punch to the stomach, knocking the breath out of him. His vision blurs with tears, and he hears a wail of grief escape your lips, raw with anguish and absolutely heart-wrenching.
He keeps hearing the sentence inside his head, feels his knees start to tremble so much that he has to grip the edge of the table you’re lying on until his knuckles are white if he doesn’t want to collapse to the floor. Your wailing is unbearable, cutting through him until everything hurts and bile starts rising in his throat again. He swallows it down despite the burn, trying not to think of how robbed he feels; there’s laughter and sibling rivalry that won’t be happening now. 
In front of him, the doctor is holding his hands in front of himself, palms clasped tightly together as he gives you a moment. He looks down at nothing in particular, looking like someone counting the seconds until it is okay to open his mouth again. Javier doesn’t want him to say a single goddamn word.
But he speaks again, and Javier tries not to want to punch a hole through him. “We need to act quickly. Your wife—“
Javier glares at him. He turns to you, “Mrs. Peña, you’re losing a lot of blood, and there’s a risk of infection. We need to perform a procedure to remove everything from the pregnancy to ensure your safety and recovery.”
You look to the doctor, swallowing thickly through the tears, and then glance at Javier. He leans in to rest his forehead against yours, holding your hand as it rests in your lap, “They need to take care of you now, okay?”
“Don’t leave me,” you beg quietly, breaths shaky.
“I’m right here, I’m not leaving,” he replies, brushing his thumb over your knuckles repeatedly, trying to ground you. You nod slowly and look so small, “I love you so much, baby. You need to let them take care of you for me.”
“Okay,” your voice is barely there, weak and frightened. 
The medical team works quickly after that. A nurse puts an IV into your arm and gives you something for your anxiety, causing you to half-doze off while they wheel you out of the room. 
Javier walks down the hallways of the hospital until he cannot follow you anymore, his hand slipping from yours as you are wheeled into an available OR. When the doors close behind the team of medical professionals following you, the reality of what they’re going to be doing to you crashes over him like an avalanche. It is unbearable. Each second feels worse than the last. 
A kind nurse touches his arm, makes him flinch, but then she apologizes and tells him the directions to the waiting room. His feet take him there without him quite knowing how but when he finally collapses into a chair against the wall, he doubles over and buries his face in his hands. A shaky breath leaves him in the colorless room, his thumbs pressing into his eyes until fireworks go off behind his eyelids. There’s the sound of the clock on the wall ticking quietly and then there’s the sound of his violent sobs, his chest burning as he finally allows himself to let devastation consume him. 
“Fuck,” he swears under his breath, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
He has never felt this kind of fear, not even when he was fighting for his life in Colombia, and never knew the outcome of the dangers he faced. This isn’t the same terror that ambushes and flying bullets coming from machine guns brought along because back then, he knew - and still knows - how to act to keep himself safe, to get out of there alive. But back then, there was nothing to lose and if tragedy was upon him, it was only him arriving home in a casket. This is new and the fear suffocates him because there’s no clear enemy to fight, no escape route or strategy that can save him from watching his family suffer. His instincts tell him to return the fire but there’s no fire to return. All he can do is sit idly with the feeling that he can’t fix this, can’t protect you or him from the hurt. All his instincts from the chaos of Colombia are useless here. 
Instead, he just feels like he did when he sat through the funeral of his mother at barely ten years old. This fact makes him reach into his pocket and fish out his work phone to dial the number of his father’s landline with the intention of getting told what to do, his inner child screaming for the soothing words and guidance of his parent. 
Chucho Peña answers groggily on the fourth ring, “¿Bueno?”
“Papá…” Javier breathes quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He feels his throat constrict as tears well up in his eyes again and how the words suddenly feel too hard to speak. 
Chucho knows something is wrong from the way his son trails off and suddenly his voice comes through the receiver again, sharper and fully awake, “¿Qué pasa, hijo? (What’s going on, son?)”
Javier swallows hard around the lump in his throat, his nose prickling, “I’m calling from the hospital. We— we lost the baby, Dad. There was so much blood. I didn’t know what to do.”
There’s a moment where he can only hear his father’s hitched breath, the older man seemingly trying to process what he has just been told. He clears his throat, “Lo siento mucho, Javi (I’m so sorry, Javi). You don’t have to have all the answers right now.”
“But I am sitting here and I am doing nothing,” he answers bitterly and a tear rolls down his face again just when he thinks he has it under control. 
“Javier, listen to me,” Chucho commands, his voice still soft even when he is stern, “Some things we have no power over. Losing your mother taught me that. You don’t have to fix it, mijo (my son). You just have to be there.”
Javier wants to throw up at the mention of his mother. He shudders in his seat, trying to push down the flood of tears that threatens to repeat itself as before he made this call. He doesn’t want to think about his mother, doesn’t want to experience loss that same way again. All he wants is to fix it, ���It’s not enough.”
“It is enough. She doesn’t need anything more from you, and even if this feels like it overshadows everything, you’ll find something to fight for. For me, it was you. And for you, it’ll be your family. Lucas. And her.”
“Fuck,” Javier’s throat tightens again as his thoughts turn to Lucas. He had barely been able to say goodbye before rushing out of the house, and the guilt of seeing his tiny, devastated face is going to keep hurting for a while. “I left him next door, Lucas, I mean. He was screaming for me, Pop, and I just left him.”
Chucho’s voice softens even further in reassurance, “You did what you had to, mijo (my son). He’s safe. Do you want me to get him? I can be there by morning. I can take care of him, handle things at the house so you can focus on her. Whatever you both need, Javi. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“I don’t want to bother you, Papá. It’s late, and—”
“Javier,” Chucho interrupts, the gentle sternness returning but when he continues, Javier swears he can hear his voice wavering even as he tries to be strong. “You’re not bothering me. You are my family. You’re my son, and you need help. I’ll be there if you need me. Say the word, and I’m on my way.”
A nurse taps Javier on the shoulder. He looks up at her and she gives him a gentle smile as soon as she sees the tear streaks on his face. She speaks softly, “Your wife is recovering from surgery. Everything went smoothly. You can go see her now, I’m sure she’ll wake up any moment.”
“Papá,” he speaks into the phone after mouthing a ‘thank you’ to the nurse, sighing softly, “She’s out of surgery. I gotta go see her now.”
“You want me to go get Lucas?” Chucho asks as a final question.
“If it’s not too much trouble then—“
“It’s not,” he reassures steadfastly, “Hang up. I’ll make sure everything is okay at home. Te quiero tanto (I love you so much).”
“Te quiero también (I love you too),” Javier replies and hangs up. He pockets his phone and pushes himself to stand, walking to the front desk to get your room number, and then practically runs down the hallway to get to you faster. 
He enters the hospital room after bracing himself outside the door. You’re lying underneath the dimly lit lights in the ceiling that are supposed to be soothing but have lost their charm. Javier has never seen you actually sleep soundly in a hospital room, barely saw you do it when you had Lucas because you didn’t like the cold, sterile interior. He doesn’t like seeing it now because he knows you’re not sleeping on your own accord, especially does not like seeing it accompanied by the steady beeping sound of a heart rate monitor. 
He carefully drags a chair across the room to sit by your bed, dropping down into it with a small sigh from finally being at your side again. You don’t move by the little noise, and he recalls the nurse telling him that the drugs might take an hour or so to wear off enough for you to wake. 
“I’m here, mi amor (my love),” he hears himself whisper, taking your hand in his own and resting his body against the white mattress. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to doze off while still being completely aware of the room around him. He had no idea that sleep would overtake him as soon as he saw you, all the tension of wondering if he ever was going to again seeping out of his body. 
The clock tells him that half an hour has passed when he jolts awake but it only feels like barely a minute, his poor back killing him from leaning forward in the chair. Your fingers twitch in his hand - a sign that you’re waking up - and the pace of the pulse monitor’s beeping increases. He straightens to watch your eyes flutter beneath your lids before you blink a few times to adjust to the lights. Confusion clouds your face for a moment before the memory of what has happened hits, and Javier sees the pain flood back in without being able to do anything. He squeezes your hand, trying to offer some comfort, but it feels useless against the weight of what you’re about to remember.
“Hey,” he says quietly and you turn your head to the sound of his voice. He is sure that he looks tired, bags under his eyes, “I was waiting for you to wake up to me.”
When you don’t say anything, he reaches out to gently run a hand over your hair, his thumb occasionally rubbing against the spot between your eyebrows, just like he has come to love it when you do it. He soothes you whilst you try to find out what is happening, speaks quietly and gently, “Are you thirsty? Hungry?”
“Where’s Lucas?” You don’t register the question, voice cracking as you speak and Javier is sure you are distracted by the lack of life in your belly. He swallows thickly as you talk, “We left him. He—“
“He’s fine. He’s with the neighbors. I made sure he’s safe,” he pauses to press a kiss to your forehead before resting his head where his lips have been, “He’s okay, baby. Pop will get him in the morning. You don’t have to worry about him.”
It’s as if the fact that you don’t have to be strong for your son makes your face crumble. You breathe shakily as tears start to well up in your eyes. For a moment, it looks like you cannot breathe and then you sob. 
“It’s my fault,” you tell him through tears.
“What? No… no,” Javier feels disoriented by that statement, pulling back to let you see him shaking his head, “No, baby. Why on earth would you say that? Of course, it’s not.”
“I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve known something was wrong, but I didn’t, and now— We could’ve seen a doctor—”
“No,” Javier interrupts firmly. He takes your hand to stress his words. He suddenly feels strong in your hour of need despite his own tears having started to fall from his eyes, “No, don’t do that. This wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known. You did everything you could, everything you were supposed to do for our baby.”
He watches tears slide down your cheeks until they drip down from your chin, some of them even sliding down into your messy hair. He pushes the chair back when he gets up from his seat, the legs on it scraping loudly across the floor. 
You are inconsolable even when he moves onto the edge of the bed, one leg stretched out on the mattress and another dangling over the edge, so he can plant his foot on the floor. He holds you gently, crumbling the sheets by wearing his usual jeans in bed, and rests his lips against the top of your head. 
“Hey hey hey,” he shushes you softly and rocks you as much as he can without disturbing your IV, “You have already given me - us - a beautiful boy. You are so good to me.”
You quiet down a little at that but there seem to be no words to describe how you feel. You whimper at his words and shake your head, and it makes him ache to make all of this go away. 
“Yes,” he stresses, reaching for your hand to hold it against his mouth. He kisses it repeatedly, opening your hand like a flower to kiss your palm too, “I love you both so much, and I love our baby. Even if they weren’t ready to meet us.”
“How can you love me when I can’t even—“
He shushes you gently, cooing at you as he would his son whenever he is in distress, “You are not hard to love, baby.”
“Yes, I am,” you sniffle.
“No, you’re not,” he sniffles, feeling a tear drip onto the covers, his hand still clutching yours to ground the both of you, “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. You and I are forever, you know that.”
And this is where your cries intensify because you had never expected to find anyone who would do this for you, say these things to you. You weep and kick and scream for your baby in the small hospital bed, and Javier holds you through it all, not wavering once.
Silence fills the room when you miraculously feel empty of tears even if it’s brief. You breathe deeply into the quiet room, not sure what to do from now on because it feels too surreal to imagine going home.
“We can try again soon,” Javier says eventually. 
“It’s going to take a while,” you reply. 
“Then it will,” he reassures, reaching up to run a hand over your hair and kissing it too. 
“Okay,” you sniffle. 
“Okay,” he repeats and then pulls you close so you can bury your face in his chest. He rests his palm on the back of your head, cradling you gently, “Now we’re just gonna lie here and you are gonna let me protect you from everything in the world. Just for a moment.”
You let him and he lets you cry quietly into his shirt whilst he coos at you. The only other sound is the sound of the hospital; its continuous, rhythmic beeping, and the sound of squeaky shoes worn by nurses that pass by outside. Javier rests his cheek against your head. He can tell you feel soothed by the way he breathes quietly against you, the steady and reliable sound of his heartbeat, and his chest moving up and down. 
— 
The sun has gone down enough over Chucho’s ranch that everything has a golden hue. You kiss and hug goodnight and then head to the car, an SUV that has replaced the truck a few months prior. You are walking a few steps in front of Javier, dangling the key for Lucas to take because he has asked to press the button to unlock the car. Your son snatches the bundle and runs along excitedly, watching the car lights with fascination as they blink when he pushes the button. 
You grin over your shoulder at Javier who smiles back at you. On his strong arm, Inés is fast asleep with her legs dangling with each step he takes as he carries her to the car. Her mouth hangs open, her eyelids flutter just slightly, and sometimes, she grabs at her father’s shoulders without waking up. She wears her new sandals, the ones with sunflowers on them that she begged you to get for her when you were last out shopping with her. Javier carries her so gently. You look at the sky behind them, feeling a tug in your heart. 
It’s been four years since you lost their sibling. However, there’s a feeling of peace within you now, even if that night in the hospital is always with you, lingering just beneath the surface. Now, instead of a sharp constant ache, it has dulled into a grief that sometimes knocks on memory’s door and you answer it by letting Javier hold you a little tighter in the house that has become your home even more. 
Lucas crawls into the backseat and confidently clicks his seatbelt in, having neared that age where he desperately wants to show you how much he can do by himself and grins with a ¡Mira, Mamà! (Look, Mom!) to win your praise. He has grown so much since that night, doesn’t even remember it that much but you have talked to him about it a few times when he has caught you in your grief, mostly back when it was a fresh wound to your heart and tears would sneak up on you out of the blur. It’s rare that he’ll mention it now but he knows he has two siblings; one here with him and one that he didn’t get to meet. 
You had been so afraid of letting him carry the weight of your grief, trying to find the right words that would not overwhelm him but seeing him grin at you out of the car window, you know that you have done just fine. You wave at him with a big smile and knock on the window as you pass by it to see his excitement bubble over in a little laugh. 
You sense that Javier lags behind and when you turn around, you see him cradling Inés in his arms as she only blinks a few times but doesn’t fully wake. He is quiet as he coos down at her, cupping the back of her small head and kissing her head with a smile. He loves her, there’s no doubt. You think back to how scared you both were after losing the baby, unsure if you could go through it one more time if it were to end up in tragedy again. But here she is, your precious daughter, peacefully asleep in her father’s arms who will do anything for her safety.
He meets your gaze as he walks up to you and smiles enough to make his eyes crinkle. You offer to take your daughter but he shakes his head, so instead you walk to the side where Inés’ car seat is and open the door for them. 
Your husband carefully lowers Inés into her seat beside Lucas, and you catch the way his fingers linger, brushing her cheek as he fastens her in. She stirs slightly but doesn’t wake, her little mouth still hanging open, completely at peace.
When the both of you are in the car - you in the passenger seat - Javier puts a hand on your thigh. He squeezes it, rubbing a soothing circle with his thumb, “¿Estás bien? (You okay?)”
You nod, glancing back at the kids in the rearview mirror before turning to him with a soft smile, “Estoy bien, te prometo (I’m okay, I promise).”
He looks at you for a moment, searching your face like he always does, making sure you’re truly okay. When he sees the truth in your eyes, he leans over the control center to kiss your lips like he has a million times before, “Good.”“Keys, mijo (my son),” he then says and Lucas hands him the car keys when he is asked, stretching dramatically to reach his father’s hand and looking curiously when Javier inserts it in the ignition and starts the car, “Let’s go home.”
.
.
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eliluvschan · 7 months
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Sick Boyfie
pairing: lee know x reader
word count: 607
warnings: sick Minho
genre: fluff
a/n: short one today cause i’m sick :(
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i woke up groggily to the blankets being pulled off of my body, and Minho tossing and turning next to me.
“Min, you woke me up.” i whisper loudly. he doesn’t respond but instead, whimpers next to me. i turn to see him wrapped up in all of our blankets, the sheets twisted around his limbs.
“Min?” i ask, realising something is wrong. he isn’t awake, but keeps whimpering in his sleep.
i sit up and reach my hand to his forehead. he’s burning up. his eyes flutter open at my cool touch.
“baby.” he groans.
“do you feel okay? you have a fever.” i ask him.
“no, i feel sick.” he says, his eyebrows furrowing together. his legs are curled up against him and he looks so young and in pain.
“where does it hurt?”
“entire body.” he moans, as i frown at him.
“okay. i’ll be right back.” i say, crawling out of bed and flicking on the lamp that sits on my bedside table.
i walk down the hall and shuffle through our medicine cabinet before finding some painkillers. i shake two into my hand, hoping it will knock out his fever.
i then walk into the kitchen and get him a glass of cool water and a snack for him to eat before going back to our room. Soon and Doongie following me suit.
he’s still laying in the same position, a look of agony painted across his face.
“okay. can you get out of bed for me?” i ask. he nods slowly and staggers out of our bed. i quickly shake out the sheets, so he’s more comfortable.
i turn to our closet and grab him a fresh hoodie and pair of sweats. the kitties lay on our bed as they get comfortable and also fall asleep.
“you need to change out of those sweaty clothes.” i tell him. he sighs and holds his arms out, indicating that i should do it for him. i roll my eyes but smile.
i secretly love it when he’s needy like this, and i feel bad for him because he’s sick.
i peel his sweatshirt off, exposing his bare, clammy chest. “wait.” i say and rush to the bathroom. i grab a washcloth and gently clean his chest, neck and face.
i help him into fresh clothes. “now eat this.” i hand him a few grapes that i grabbed out of the fridge. my parents always taught me to never take painkillers without eating something first or else your stomach will hurt.
as he slowly finished the grapes, i hold out the water and painkillers. he swallows them and sniffles as he rolls back into bed.
i climb in next to him, flicking the light back off, but not before grabbing a t-shirt for if he gets too hot at night. i crawl over to him, peeling his hair out of his sight and leaving little kisses all over his face.
“jagi don’t. i don’t want you to get sick.” he groggily says, already half asleep.
“i know, but that won’t stop me from caring for you.” i say, running my hands through his hair as he falls back asleep.
“thank you, kitten.” he mumbles, almost completely asleep.
“i love you too, Min. i’ll always take care of you.” i see him smile lightly in the dark as he drifts into sleep.
i feel the cats climb around us on the bed as i fall asleep myself.
~
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crystallinestars · 26 days
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Caring for you when you are sick
A short little drabble about Jiaoqiu caring for you when you fall sick. Jiaqiu x Reader (Established relatioship)
Whenever you fall sick, Jiaoqiu fusses over you like a worried parent. Even if it’s just a common cold, he gives you strict instructions to rest and eat his cooking to get better.
And cook for you he does.
Even when Jiaoqiu is busy serving Feixiao and completing his duties as a retainer, he makes time to cook healthy and tasty dishes to nourish you back to full health. Chicken noodle soup, congee, tea with lemon and honey, and more are delivered to your bedside on a tray each day by a concerned Jiaoqiu.
He checks your temperature by placing a cool palm on your forehead, brows pinching together when he feels how hot your skin is, and his tail sways in displeasure whenever he hears you coughing or sniffling. If you complain about a sore throat, he whips you up a hot drink of ginger and lemon to soothe the pain and observes to ensure you drink it all.
He places a damp towel on your forehead to lower your fever, and regularly swaps it out for a fresh one. Jiaoqiu even visits you at night to check your condition and spends the night by your bedside if he discovers your fever worsening. You’ll wake up to find him sitting in a chair beside your bed with his head resting on the mattress and your hand grasped tightly in his. He gets little sleep on those nights because he stays awake to fight your fever, so finding him napping like this is a common occurrence.
Despite you telling him your condition is not so bad that it requires round-the-clock care, Jiaoqiu won’t stop worrying. How can he not worry when you don’t feel your best? When you shiver while running a high fever, when your voice sounds hoarse, when you wince each time you swallow his food because your throat is so sore?
As a healer, it is his duty to care for the sick, or so he tells you while spoon-feeding you some soup. You can feed yourself? He knows, but he saw how weak your grip was on the spoon earlier, so it’s safer if he feeds you. You can bathe yourself? Yes, but you sway while standing on unsteady legs, so let him carefully wipe you down with a cloth instead. Besides, he likes actively caring for you like this, though you don’t need to know that.
Jiaoqiu is mischievous and sometimes sadistic, but when it comes to seeing others suffering or not feeling their best, his caring side shines through. Even if he gave up on being a healer, he can never give up on taking care of those who need help, especially those whom he loves.
You will be nursed back to heal by his caring and gentle hand, given the best treatment a patient could ask for, so make sure to thank and praise him when you recover, alright? For now, get more rest and get better, dear.
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mischievousmoony · 3 months
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𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' ⟡ 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸
⟢ james potter x black!reader (fem)
⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters'. however, things don’t go so smoothly at first . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 3.6k
⟢ warnings/tags: abusive parents, james’ clothes are described as baggy on the reader, siblings fighting, fluff then angst
⟢ part 1 ⟡ part 2 ⟡ part 3 ⟡ masterlist
note: my writing's so rustyyyy the dialogue is so off but im so done editing. and this is gonna need a few more parts, i keep getting carried away.
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The Potters' house was very different from yours. It was the first thing you noticed when you woke up. Back home, it felt like Grimmauld Place existed under a perpetual storm cloud. Here, sunshine cannot be escaped. The curtains were drawn closed, but light still filtered in from both sides, almost pleading for them to be opened so that it might do its duty of brightening the house.
Another thing you noticed were birds, who sang pretty songs from right outside your window. You can't remember ever hearing any birds outside your home, and there were plenty of trees for them to nest in. In fact, you started to believe that the aura of your house scared all living things away. Realistically, it was probably all of the yelling and screaming.
As you lie in an unfamiliar room and think of all the reasons why you preferred it over your own, three gentle knocks beat on your door. They sounded different than James' quick staccato, and nerves bubbled in your stomach because you couldn't guess who was on the other side.
You took a deep breath, told yourself that you didn’t have to be so on edge here, and called for the person to come in as you sat up. The knock pattern automatically filed itself away in your brain as belonging to Mrs. Potter. She walked in, carrying a silver tea tray.
"Good morning, dear. Sleep well?" She greeted you as she made her way to your bedside.
"Yes, Ma'am." You said politely.
"Oh, please call me Effie," she insisted as she placed the tray on the bedside table and moved to draw open your curtains. You imagined the sunshine saying thank you for finally letting it in.
“I’ve brought up some tea for you. I wasn't sure how you liked it, alas..." Effie waved her hand over the tray.
The tray had the basics: a teapot, sugar, and a small milk pitcher. However, Effie had also laid out various tea bags for you to choose from, along with some warm biscuits.
“Thank you,” you said in awe as you stared at the display. It was a simple tea setting, really, but the thoughtfulness still had you feeling choked up.
"I spoke with James this morning. May I?" Effie gestured to the edge of your bed, and you welcomed her to sit. "He woke Monty and me up at the crack of dawn, insisting that we let you and your brother stay permanently. Even had tears in his eyes. I tell you, that boy has his father’s big heart."
"Anywho, I nearly tossed a pillow at him for waking me up so early, as if I’d even consider an alternative! But I got to thinking, if James felt like we needed convincing, then we better make sure you and Sirius don’t feel any unease either.”
Effie reached for your hands that lay folded in your lap. “So,” she paused a moment to allow you the chance to shoo her off before placing her hand over yours. “I felt it was important to tell you personally that you are welcomed in this home and this family, assuming you’ll have us, for as long as you need us. That sounds like a good deal to you?”
You bit back tears, “Yea- yes. I think that sounds lovely.”
Effie smiled and squeezed your hands, “Can I give you a hug, dear?”
“Yes, please.” you croaked.
Effie wrapped her arms around you, and you let a few tears loose while she couldn’t see you, wiping them away with your thumb as soon as they appeared. The hug felt warm and unfamiliar, and you wondered if there was a time that your parents ever hugged you like this. If they did, you didn’t remember it.
From behind Effie’s back, you watched James waltz over through your blurry vision. He became distracted by the surprise that the bedroom door was already opened, eyeing it before anything else in the room as he leaned against the doorframe.
“Good morning, sunsh- Mum! You’re in here!”
Effie pulled back from you and craned her neck to look over her shoulder at her son, who was standing up as straight as a board in the doorway. She raised an eyebrow at him, sensing his sudden weirdness.
“I was just welcoming Y/N to our home, like we discussed. Are you alright, dear?” Effie tilted her head.
“‘m splendid, Mum.” James said it with a goofy smile, rocking back and forth on his heels.
She drew her eyebrows together and said, "Lovely, James. What can we do for you?"
"Me? Do for me?" James' eyes widened.
Effie shook her head, perplexed by her son’s reaction.
"I'm wondering what brings you here, James?"
"Ah. I was just in the area," James said, doing a poor job at acting casual. "Y'know, the upstairs... area. Uh, so I thought I'd say good morning... Good morning!"
You thought that this must be the kind of thing people face palm over.
“Hm,” Effie squinted at her son, studying him for a moment before deciding to worry about whatever that was later. She turned back towards you, “Anywho, this is your room now, so I hope it's to your liking. We can see about changing these sheets and painting the walls however you’d like-”
“It’s perfect!” You interrupted, looking bashful for doing so, but Effie didn't seem to mind.
“Well, feel free to customize it any other way. Any posters?” Effie offered.
"I didn't have time to grab that sort of thing,” you admitted, and immediately felt stupid for doing so. Effie clearly just wanted you to feel at home, and you felt like you were being a downer.
But if it phased Effie, she didn’t show it.
"Well then, that means we get to go buy some new ones, yeah?"
She gave your hands a final squeeze before standing up, saying, “I better let you wake up and enjoy the tea,” and walking towards the hall.
Effie affectionately patted James on the cheek as she passed him.
“Have you had breakfast, dear?”
“Mum!” James shrank away from her, his face growing hot. “I will in a minute!”
She tsked at him, gave his cheek one last pinch, and made her way out of the room. James hung from the doorframe into the hall to watch her go. When she was out of sight, he dipped into your room and shut the door silently behind him.
James' back pressed against the closed door as he shot you a toothy grin.
"Good morning, sunshine," he repeated.
You can't help but giggle at him while saying, "Good morning, Jamie."
As he walked over you, his smile slightly faded as a hint of sadness crept onto his face when he noticed your teary eyes.
One thing you loved about James was that he never resorted to any of those hollow phrases like "don't cry" or "stay strong" when he tried to make you feel better. Instead, he always concocted the perfect cure for the situation. Today, it was goofiness and a lot of kisses.
James made a big show of acting innocent as he approached. He whistled some tune and looked anywhere but you before he suddenly dived at you, embracing your waist with a gentle yet decisive sweep of his arms. He flung his body into the mattress, dragging you down with him. You yelped and chided him through laughter.
When you landed, you were tangled awkwardly—your body twisted so that your torso was on top of his, but his legs were draped over yours. James' arms were still wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you trapped as he peppered kisses on your face. He kissed your cheeks and the corner of your eyes, then your eyelids, effectively kissing away any stray tears.
You were a fit of giggles by the time his lips reached the tip of your nose. Next up, he dipped his head to kiss each side of your mouth before finally capturing your lips with his. You giggled through the feathery kisses he pressed on your lips, and he couldn't help but follow in your footsteps as he smiled against you.
Soon, laughter overtook you both. Yet you remained close, with your noses brushing against each other and your foreheads pressed together, as your happy laughter filled the room.
Eventually, James' laughter began to die down. He removed one of his hands from your waist to help brush your hair back into place, it having gotten disheveled from his attack.
You settled down as well, letting the touch of his fingertips in your hair calm you. He took notice and continued running his fingers through your hair, even after it was all brushed out of your face.
For a peaceful moment, you gazed into his eyes, which were filled with admiration and mirrored your own. James watched as a glint of mischief suddenly sparkled in your eyes.
"So," you voiced.
"Mhm," he hummed.
"You've clearly never tried to hide something from your mum before."
"Why would I 'ave had to hide something from my mum before?" James pouted, briefly bringing your giggles back. "Only reason I haven't gushed to her about my beautiful girlfriend," James gave your waist a squeeze, "is 'coz she would have qualms with me lying to a friend."
"Oh, so I guess we better go tell Sirius then, yeah? I wouldn't want to make you lie to your dear mum, I like her." You teased, amused by James' eyes widening nervously.
You've talked about telling your brothers before, but it's something neither of you were quite ready for—you were too fond of the blissfulness you found in the privacy of your relationship.
"Er, I don't particularly feel like getting socked in the face today." James said.
"Oh, come on. You think he'd react that badly?" You carried on.
"I think Sirius punching me would be a mild reaction for him." James grimaced, "He'll probably hex me into the next century. And I get chills thinking about what would happen if Regulus were to find out. Oh, I'd be a dead man. Or he'd put an irreversible curse on my bloodline. It's a tossup, really."
Your smile faltered at the mention of your twin brother, suddenly remembering your situation. You let yourself get distracted by the warm welcome from Effie and James' affection. How could you lay here happily while Regulus is still stuck at that house?
Your expression suddenly grew very solemn as you began squirming out of James' grip. "Where's Sirius?" you asked.
James seemed to choke on his own spit. "Uh, pardon? You're not really planning on telling him today?” Despite his protest, James loosened his grip, not wanting to keep you somewhere you didn’t want to be. “At least let me put my Quidditch gear on, I might need the protective padding."
You had tunnel vision the moment Regulus’ name was mentioned, but you realized what James was saying by the time he mentioned protective padding.
“Not that, James. I need to find out about Reg.”
His mouth formed an O shape as you stood at the foot of the bed with your hands on your hips.
“So do you know where he is?”
“Uh, eating breakfast probably,” James guessed, “in the dining room.”
You stared at him expectantly and after a while of him not moving, you huffed, “I don’t know where that is, James!”
“Right!” James scrambled up from the bed so he could lead you through the house. You could’ve found it if you wandered long enough, but the Potters’ house was fairly large, and you wanted to talk to Sirius as soon as possible.
By the time James had led you to the kitchen, you could see Sirius in the next room over through the open archway. You pushed past James at once.
Sirius was alone at the head of the table, various platters of breakfast food surrounding him. The kitchen was hot when you passed through it, so one of James’ parents must have just been cooking, but they were nowhere to be seen now. Sirius was shoveling some sausage onto his plate when he saw you.
“Sirius,” you said sternly as your hands returned to your hips.
“Look who’s finally up!” Your brother cheered, “Just in time to eat.” He gestured at the seat next to him.
James appeared at your side, and said, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Maybe you should have some before you-”
“Where is Regulus?” You interrupted, ignoring James altogether.
James’ utterance of “Yeah, didn’t think so” was lost on your ears.
With a scowl on his face, Sirius turned his attention away from his meal. His eyes scanned over you, and his scowl twisted into an amused expression. “Nice outfit!” he snorted.
You looked down briefly to see yourself drowning in James’ clothes. Being much taller than you, James' sweats pooled at your ankles. You rolled your eyes.
“Stop it, Sirius. Where is our brother?”
Sirius squinted at you. You thought he was finally going to give you answers when he decisively opened his mouth, but instead, “You should sit and eat. James is right, breakfast is the most-”
“Sirius!” You raised your voice, your hands molding into fists as your arms dropped to your sides.
Sirius threw his fork down with a clatter, “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me why he’s not here with us.” Your pleading voice cracked as you begged your brother for answers, stepping closer to him.
Sirius had a stormy, faraway look in his eyes, as if recalling something poignant. “The only one who can answer that question is him, so you’re out of luck,” he said bitterly.
The simmering anger in your chest started to bubble, rising up to your throat until you were spitting words that you would later regret. “You left him there!” you accused.
“Excuse me?” Sirius sent a deadly stare your way as he slowly pushed his chair back and stood up.
“Woah,” James tried to interrupt, moving to stand between you two, “Maybe we wanna take a moment and-”
You stepped around James, and his remaining words were drowned out by your raised voice: “I said you left him there. He’s not here because of you.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” Sirius bellowed, growing more irritated with you.
“Then why not enlighten me, Sirius!?”
“He chose to stay!" he disclosed. "Alright? I know you think so highly of your favorite brother, but he chose that place!”
“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed, crossing your arms and looking away.
You ignored Sirius' choice words of "favorite brother." You weren't going to let yourself get distracted by that conversation, which you've had a countless number of times already. Sirius was sensitive to the fact that Regulus was your twin brother, and Sirius would always just be your brother, no matter how many times you told him that you loved them the same.
“I told him to pack, just like you, and he said no. I told him he had to and he refused," Sirius said vindictively.
“Then you should’ve tried harder!" You snapped, spewing words you didn't mean, "Now he’s there alone. He would’ve come if you would've just tried harder, I know it. This is all your fault!”
Sirius reeled back as if you had punched him in the gut. For a moment, he looked hurt, but then anger overwhelmed him. “How could you say that? You weren’t even there!”
“Because you never let me be! I stayed in my room, like you said to, and was out of my mind with worry. Next thing I know, we’re leaving and Regulus isn’t, and that feeling hasn’t gone away because I have no idea how he is. You should’ve grabbed him and dragged him along! You should’ve-“
“Why is everything my fault!? Why is it what I should’ve done!? You don’t even know what he did!” Sirius' nostrils flared with rage.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about how your dear Reggie isn’t as good as you think he is," he sneered. "If you only saw him…”
“I don’t care what he did, he’s our brother!" You shouted, "He should be here. It doesn’t matter!”
Sirius slammed his hand on the table, “IT DOESN’T MATTER!?” he screamed, causing you to jump back. Tears immediately began welling in your eyes. No matter what you did, when you were being yelled at, you started crying. You weren't like your brothers, who could hold stone-cold, emotionless expressions despite whatever was swirling within. It was one of the reasons your brothers did what they could to keep your parents away from you—to Walburga and Orion, emotion was weakness.
Your tears didn't phase Sirius like they normally would have. He was too furious. “You want to know what he did?" he asked harshly. "He watched. He watched our parents torture me, and then he just walked away!"
“What did you want him to do?” you cried, “He- he was probably scared,” you hiccuped, “you- you should’ve-“
“I shouldn’t have done anything, goddammit! She crucio’d me! THAT’S what he watched our mother do. THAT’S what he let me deal with alone. I was on the ground unable to get up for damn near thirty minutes, and he knew it!"
Sirius nearly doubled over, grabbing the table in front of him for balance so hard that his knuckles blanched. All of the yelling gave him a head rush, but he wouldn't relent, "So don’t you tell me that I should’ve tried harder. That I should’ve grabbed him. He doesn’t care about me, so why should I care about him?”
Your hand clasped over your mouth as you sobbed. Your parents were cruel, but the Cruciatus Curse? You couldn’t fathom it. Your mouth suddenly felt dry, and bile bubbled up in your throat as you recalled Sirius’ scream from the night before.
Neither of you seemed to have anything else to say. You both just stood before each other in your most vulnerable states. It was a miserable sight—you crying your eyes out and Sirius looking sick as a dog.
Neither of you had noticed James leave until he returned. His parents followed closely behind.
"Snitch," Sirius choked out, glaring at his best friend as a fit of coughs hit him, his throat strained from the yelling. He ducked his head down and screwed his eyes shut suddenly, like the light in the room was starting to bother his head.
James didn't seem to care what Sirius thought of him. He was too busy being concerned for you both. Besides, James didn't really snitch. You two were being so loud that his parents were already on their way. He happened to run into them in their pursuit.
"What's going on?" Effie's gentle voice rang through the room, "We could hear yelling from the other side of the house."
Even though James' mum was being stern, she didn't sound angry or upset. Her voice only carried notes of concern and motherly authority.
Neither you nor Sirius answered her, too busy crying and coughing. Both of you would've probably been too sheepish to answer, anyway.
James' parents shared a look with each other, deciding what to do about the situation through eye contact alone.
Fleamont spoke with a firm voice, "Alright, son, we ought to get you up to your room. I think it'd be best for you to lie down." Fleamont clasped a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Your brother let Fleamont assist him in the walk to his room.
Euphemia moved to comfort you, but James stopped her. "Wait, let me."
She raised her eyebrows at her son, skeptical of the idea that her young son was equipped to handle this situation. But James had already started reaching for you, and like a moth to a flame, you melted into his arms the moment you felt his fingertips graze your skin.
Effie's eyes darted between you and her son, settling on him when her features melded into a look of understanding. A million questions raced through her mind. How long had this been going on? Why didn't James tell her? Did James tell Sirius? But the one thing she knew for sure was that you found comfort in James, and comfort was the one thing you needed right now.
She took a deep breath and decided to trust her son. "We'll talk about this later. I'm going to check on Sirius."
"Thanks, Mum." James let out a relieved breath.
"Just... behave."
"Mum!" James blushed, his hands swiftly traveling up to cover your ears with his palms.
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" Effie waved a hand in the air as she followed in the direction of Fleamont and Sirius.
James noticed your shoulders had started shaking intensely.
“Lovey,” he cooed. He moved his hands to cup your face, tilting it up to look at him. He was surprised to find that the reason for your shuddering shoulders was not because you had started crying harder. You were still crying, but it was mixed with a bit of laughter.
"I guess neither of us are very good at hiding things,” you said, thinking of how you jumped into his arms right in front of his mother.
James shook his head, a single chuckle escaping from his lips.
“Guess not.”
Your moment of humor quickly passed, your eyes turning sad again as more tears spilled out.
James sighed, brushing away your tears with his thumb before pulling you close to his chest. He rubbed soothing circles on your back, pressed kisses to the top of your head, and whispered professions of love and sweet words in your ear while he let you cry. Sometimes, he knew you just needed to let it all out.
Eventually, you let James’ touch and loving words relax you. When your crying was reduced to a sniffle, James veered back so that you could see his face.
“Let’s go on a walk.”
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daveth-isnt-dead · 9 months
Text
Tentatively
Summary:
You don’t want to tell him the truth, that most of your friends have grown up and don’t talk to you anymore, that while you love your family it’s too difficult to find time to travel and see them, that you are incredibly lonely.
Contains: Fem Reader, Death Mention (but only as much as you would expect given the source material) Word Count: 2,235 Read on AO3
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You still feel strange a few hours after leaving the chatroom. Grim, who despite all evidence to the contrary, is actually the Grim Reaper, left pretty abruptly after telling you there is something incredibly wrong with your soul and you are unsure if you should be concerned or offended about the whole thing. 
After a disappointing meal of microwaved leftovers and an attempt at enjoying a relaxing bath despite your apartment’s abysmal water temperature, you find yourself laying back on your bed and staring up at the all too uninteresting ceiling as you wait for your hair to dry. The window above your desk is open and the cool breeze is pleasant, but you’re already getting the sense that you will have trouble getting to sleep tonight, despite Grim’s uncharacteristic insistence that you get some rest after today. 
There’s something so lonely about these summer nights, lonely enough that you find yourself scrolling through your contacts list, looking for someone ( anyone ) to talk to. Calling your parents this late will only make them worry, and all of your friends from uni have much better sleep schedules than you do and will already be out cold. You toss your phone onto the vacant pillow beside you and let out a sigh, that really only leaves one option. 
Hoisting yourself from the bed, you walk over to the desk and grab your laptop. Quickly tapping open the chatroom app and turning off your camera before hitting the call button. You push your lamp and pot-plant out of the way to leave room for the laptop on your bedside table and lay back down as you wait for an answer. 
You spend the first seven rings worrying that he won't pick up, by the eighth you are proven wrong.
“I thought I already told you to go to sleep.” He says in lieu of a greeting. 
All the lethargic energy in the room suddenly dissipates, and your mouth tugs up in a smile, “Hello to you too”
“I was being serious.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t my boss.” He huffs, “I am your reaper.” “Oh?” You reply, smirking to yourself, “ My reaper, are you? Just mine?” “No! I- I’m just assigned to you. That does not mean-”
You laugh, “Sorry, sorry. I’m just teasing, thank you for picking up, I mean it.” It’s quiet, but you swear that you hear a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the call, “I- well, I just wanted to be certain that you were not suffering any side effects from the soul connection.” He clears his throat, “You…aren’t…are you?”
“I’m having trouble sleeping, but I don’t think I can blame that on you. I suppose I feel a little jittery? But that makes sense given my emotional state right now.” “What is it?” “What’s what?” “Your uh- your emotional state.”
“Oh.” You say, feeling your heart beating a rapid tattoo behind your ribs, “Well, I dunno. I’m a little overwhelmed, I suppose. I really just thought you were an edgy cosplayer, and I mean, you still are but you are also literally the Grim Reaper, so I’m still just dealing with that I guess.”
“That is perfectly normal, then. Though you should have been feeling frightened the moment I contacted you, your reaction was quite delayed.” “Hey! I never said ‘frightened’ I said overwhelmed! That’s a completely different emotion.”
He chuckles, “Unable to stop thinking about me, then?” “That also isn't what I said.” Though, he isn’t entirely wrong, “I’m just worried about how I'm going to focus at work tomorrow when I’ll be spending the whole day looking over my shoulder to make sure some white-haired twink isn't about to commit murder upon me.” 
“White-haired what? ” “Twinnnnk~” You reply, “Look it up, I’m sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.” “I hardly need to be kept busy , I have important work to do.” “Like stealing my soul.” “Yours and others, I do not just follow you around all day.” He says dryly, “You are not that important. Also, I will not be murdering you. I am pushing you in the correct direction, one you have stubbornly been avoiding for far too long.” You hum quietly to yourself, reaching out to pat your cat where he sits next to you on the bed, “How was I meant to die anyway? Just out of curiosity, since you seem to know everything about it.” He doesn't answer for some time, and the deafening silence makes you regret even posing the question. 
“Do you really want to know?” He finally asks, “Most people never find out, because unlike you they die when they are supposed to.” “Hit me with it, Grimmy.” He groans, “Do not call me that.” then you hear him sigh, deeply, contemplatively, “You were supposed to die of food poisoning.” “Oh.” You reply, feeling your heart sink a little, “Damn, that sucks. That’s so…boring”
“Death often is.” “I guess, well, I guess I was hoping that the way I die might be interesting at least. What food would have poisoned me anyway?” “Ham sandwich.” “Yikes. Was the ham poisoned or something?” “No, just expired. On a related note, you do need to clean out your fridge more often.” He’s right. Your fridge is pretty nasty, and it kind of always has been. It’s a very low priority on your list of tasks.
“Grim?”
“Yes?”
You swallow, unsure how to phrase the real question hiding in the recesses of your mind, “could you…I dunno, kill me gently, if it comes to it? I mean, I just-“ you roll over onto your side, making eye contact with the black screen of your laptop, “If I have to die, I don’t want it to hurt.”
There’s silence for a moment, and then he replies, “I don’t want it to hurt you either.”
“That’s…sweet, Thank you.” “Lacking desire to see you suffer does not make me sweet , it makes me considerate .” He sighs irritably, “More importantly, does this mean you’re finally willing to hand over your soul?” You laugh, “ No! I just- I dunno, I had a weird day and I'm feeling kinda existential now.” You look through your window, staring up at the night sky, “Do you feel that way sometimes, or is it just a human thing?”
“I do not see how that’s any of your business.” “C’mon, Grim. Just play along for once, get silly with it.” You hear him huff on the other end of the line, you can picture the exact pouty face he must be making right now, “I have been a reaper as long as I can remember, and will continue to be one for the rest of my life, there is little for me to be existential about.”
“Hm.” 
“What?” He says brusquely, “What are you ‘hm-ing’ about?”
“The thought of having one job for the rest of my life is exactly the sort of thing that makes me existential, that’s all.” “Well you don’t have to work at the same job for the rest of your life, so what exactly are you complaining about?” “I mean, the rest of my life might only be a few more days.” You say, “Provided you win our bet of course, which you will not be doing.” “Do not doubt me, Sunshine. You may come to regret it.” You giggle, “Doubtful.” There’s a rustling sound on the other end of the call, you can only assume that he is also lying in bed right now, “I am quite literally death, and I even gave you concrete proof of this fact this evening.” his voice turns quiet, dare you think it, wistful, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” You shrug, even though he can’t see you, “You aren’t very scary.”
“I am going to take your soul .” “You are going to try and take my soul.” a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And even if you do, you’ve already promised to do it gently .” “I promised not to hurt you, I never said anything about being gentle .” 
“I’m sorry, I just don’t see the difference between those two statements.” He groans, and when he speaks again his voice is muffled. You suspect he has his face buried in a pillow, “You are infuriating. When I leave the chatroom for the evening I assume that I am done with you, I was not prepared for you to insist on continuing our conversation well into the night.”
“What, are you tired?” All goes quiet for a moment, and then, “No. Are you?” “Nope.” “Hmph, you should be at this hour, especially after a day of work.”
“I- well, I dunno…”
You don’t want to tell him the truth, that most of your friends have grown up and don’t talk to you anymore, that while you love your family it’s too difficult to find time to travel and see them, that you are incredibly lonely. You are tired, you have to be up at 5:00 to get ready for work tomorrow morning, but the idea of saying goodbye, of hanging up, makes something ache deep inside you. Something inside the very soul he wants to steal. 
“You don’t know, what?”
“Huh?” Grim huffs again, “You said, ‘i dunno’ and then stopped talking, which is very out of character for you, by the way.” “Oh? Did you miss me? Were even those brief seconds of silence enough to make you realize how much you love hearing my voice?” “I will hang up.” 
“Don’t.” You say before you have time to think better of it, “Please.”
“I-“ he clears his throat, “Only if you can act normally for the rest of our conversation.”
“I’m plenty normal, you’re the weird one.”
“What’s weird, how am I weird?”
You roll onto your back, staring up at the celing, “Oh i dunno, just the whole ‘I am death incarnate! I have come for your soul! I will connect my soul to yours! ’ schtik” 
“You know fully well that it is not a…what did you call it? A schtik?” He pronounces the word completely wrong, “Whatever that is, it is not one of those. I am death incarnate, I am here for you soul, and you were literally an active part in the soul connection.”
“Oh, about that soul connection thing, by the way.” He scoffs, “Your ability to change the subject at a whim is still strong as ever i see.” 
“I know, I’m very talented- anyway! I wanted to ask if you can do anything cool now that we have a soul link or whatever.” “I have already told you, I cannot control your body. As entertaining as it would be to embarrass you publicly, even my exceptional abilities could not do that” 
“Oh kay , how about something easier, then?” You feel the warmth of your cat as he snuggles up against your side and instinctively reach out to pat him, “Read my mind, go on!” “I cannot do that.” “C’mon, Grimmy, give it a go!” You squeeze your eyes shut, “I’m thinking about something real hard right now.” He sighs, “Are you thinking about your cat?” “ Whaaaat? How did you know?!”
“I didn’t know , i guessed. I can’t read your mind, but i am still attuned with your soul.” His voice has turned uncharacteristically soft, he’s almost whispering, “It… flutters …when you are happy, and your cat makes you happy. So I guessed…”
“So you’re a soul reader, then?” You ask, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach also feels oddly fluttery right now.
“That is not a thing. You’re just making things up now.”
“Try again.” You say, your mind unwittingly flooded with thoughts of soft white hair and judgemental red eyes. Of hands you wish were bare, of sharp toothed smiles. Your heart slows to a languid rhythm, and something you aren’t ready to put a name to curls warmly in your belly. You close your eyes, softly this time, and breathe, “What am i thinking about now?”
He goes silent for a long time, you can hear the slow, even draw of his breath. You can picture him laying back on his bed, hair splayed over the pillow, brow creased in concentration and you wonder if he is thinking about you too. After what feels like an age, he finally answers, “your…plant?”
You burst into laughter and any tension in the air shatters, “My plant?! What about my soul was screaming plant just then?”
“Well, I don’t know! It was just happy again, happier, even and I assumed that you were smart enough not to just think about your cat again.” 
“Yeah, you got me.” You lie, “it was my cat again.”
“Hells, every single day you find a new way to get under my skin.” He sighs, and despite his earlier statement, his next words come out almost fondly , “You need sleep, mortal.”
“Yeah.” You reply, feeling that ache tug at you again, “I probably do.”
“I will talk to you tomorrow, that is, if you survive until then.”
That gets a laugh out of you, and you can’t tell if that was his intention or if he was being completely serious, “I look forward to it. Remember to murder me nicely, Grim.”
“As nicely as I can, I swear.” You can hear his smile, “Goodnight, Sunshine.”
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Text
Another celebration ficlet. The ask for this one somehow got deleted from the inbox, but I know it was sent by @weirdandabsurd42 - hope you enjoy! 🥰
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On being seen
Rated: T
Words: 990
Tags: Post-Vecna; Injury; Hospitals; Hair loss; Referenced parental death; Hurt/comfort; Steve Harrington is a sweetheart; Pre-Steddie
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“Brought you these,” Dustin says, stacking some books on the bedside table. Eddie spots The Hobbit at the top of the pile. “They’re mine, but you can keep them until …” 
“Until what?” Eddie asks. His voice is a thin rasp, grating on shredded vocal cords. “Until they unearth my home from that interdimensional sinkhole? Fat fucking chance, huh?” 
Dustin swallows, hiding his face under his cap. Guilt churns in Eddie’s gut like acid. His left hand - the one that’s not hooked to the beeping machines - flies up to fiddle with his hair, only to come up blank. 
Oh, right. They cut it off during the surgery. It’s gone, just like half his face and jaw. 
“You should go,” he says. “s getting dark and your mom will want you home.” 
Dustin looks up, eyes bright. “But-” 
Eddie shakes his head as well as the bandages will let him. “C’mon, I need my beauty sleep. I promise I won’t go anywhere.” 
Dustin hesitates and Eddie’s afraid he’ll start to argue, or worse, plead. But then, the kid sighs, rising from his chair. 
“Okay. See you tomorrow.” 
Eddie raises his hand for a wave, pausing when he catches sight of his bare fingers. 
“Henderson?” 
Dustin turns in the door, face gaunt in the sterile light of the hospital corridor. 
“You haven't heard about…?” 
Eddie wiggles his hand. Dustin’s expression morphs into one of regret.
“Sorry,” he says. “I asked the nurses, but there were so many emergencies. Maybe they got thrown in the trash or something.” 
Eddie nods. Tries to tug at his hair again. “Yeah. Okay.” 
Dustin shuffles uncomfortably. “Listen, I could-” 
“I said it's okay, Henderson. Good night.” 
Dustin sighs. “Night, Eddie.” 
The beeping of the machines follows Eddie into his dreams, where it turns into the shrieks of the swarm.
*
When he startles awake, it's dark outside his window. 
There's a figure in the chair beside his bed, backlit by the heart monitor.
“Fuck, Henderson,” Eddie groans. “I told you to go home.” 
The figure jerks upright with a snort. 
“Shit,” it mumbles. “Sorry, ‘m awake.” 
It’s not Dustin.
Eddie freezes, terror sinking into his every limb like lead. The noise of the machines drowns under the roar of his own blood in his ears. 
“Hey,” says the figure, voice low and soothing, and he realizes a bit belatedly that he made a sound - a raw, terrified thing, like a trapped animal. “Hey, it’s okay. Eddie, it’s me. It’s Steve.” 
A hand reaches for his. It’s warm and strong and so much bigger than his own. He jerks away so violently he almost pulls the iv-cord from his arm. 
“No,” he rasps. “Don’t touch me. Get away from me.” 
Steve flinches, hand falling limply into his own lap. Eddie can’t see his expression in the dark. Doesn’t want to see. Doesn’t want Steve to see him, not like this. Hurt and bare and small with nothing left to hide behind.  
Neither of them speaks or moves for a while, the slowly calming heart monitor the only sound in the room. 
“I’m sorry,” Steve says at length. “I just … I’ll go. Just wanted to give these back.” 
He rummages for something in his pocket, then holds out his open palm - carefully, like an offering. Eddie’s breath catches in his ruined throat. 
“Where’d you find these?” 
“Um,” Steve shuffles in his seat. “Saw them lying on the nurse’s desk the other day. Sorry I didn’t return them sooner, things have been sorta crazy out there.” 
Eddie doesn’t say anything, just snatches the rings. He attempts to slip them on, but he can’t use his right hand, and his fingers haven't stopped trembling since he first woke up. Nerve damage, the doctors said. He fumbles and drops the rings, but Steve is there to scoop them up before they can fall to the ground. 
“Here, let me.” 
Eddie watches, frozen in place, heart in his throat, as Steve slips the rings onto the fingers of his left hand. Cross on the index finger, boar in the middle, skull on his ring finger. His breath tickles the skin of Eddie’s wrist. 
“This one's special, right?” 
Eddie blinks out of his stupor. Steve has taken a hold of his right hand, infinitely careful to not disturb the needles and cords, and slipped the last ring back on. The delicate one with the dark, oval stone.
Eddie nods. His voice won't obey him, but this time, it has nothing to do with his injuries. 
“My mom's.” 
Steve hums in understanding, and Eddie knows he doesn’t need to say more. 
“Tell me about her?” 
Not a request. An offer. Eddie squints at Steve’s shadowy face as he settles back in his chair. 
“Why?” 
Steve shrugs. “You’re one of us. I’d like to know more about you.” 
Eddie can’t help it, he needs to laugh. It burns in his throat and sends tears to his eyes. He tries to tug a strand of hair in front of his face to hide them and grasps only at thin air. 
“Not sure what to tell you, big boy. Not a whole lot left of me, is there?” 
“You’re brave and kind and tough,” Steve says, and Eddie’s mouth goes dry. “You’re great with the kids, and an amazing musician, and you were willing to die for a town that hates your guts. I think that’s a whole lot. The outside stuff will come back.” 
Some of it already has, Eddie thinks, fingertips rubbing against the familiar shape of his rings. 
“Her name was Elizabeth,” he says. “She died when I was seven.” 
Steve listens for a long while, not interrupting once. He doesn’t switch on the light. He doesn’t need to, Eddie thinks. He feels more seen than he has in a long while, sitting here in the dark, allowing Steve to get to know him. 
Somehow, it isn’t as scary as he thought it would be.
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More celebration ficlets
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ask-sister-solaris · 5 months
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request if you are still doing them, Egon sees reader babysitting Oscar after coming back to the station from a bust and is absolutely in love with their parental energy. He thinks how good they would be looking after their own kids.
Oh
My
God
Yes
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Baby Fever
You were walking around the firehouse gently bouncing Oscar on your hip. Dana had called in a favour as she’d had to stay late at the orchestra for the all night performance. Naturally, you agreed, you loved little Oscar, how he was always curious and really really happy to see you and Egon almost all of the time. You cooed at him and rubbed his back, he was refusing to settle and it was worrying you. You tried everything, his bottle, his pacifer, even singing. You weren’t the world’s worst, you could hold a melody atleast.
You’d lost track of time and the guys were already back from their night time busts. The most recent had taken it out of all of them, and they were all covered in ectoplasm. You sat on Egons bed and held Oscar close. It’s like he knew they were back, and not from the smell. His eyes were latched onto the bedroom door waiting for Egon. That’s when it cracked in your mind that Oscar had wanted to wait for Egon to get home. A small smile spread on your face “he’ll be here in a moment why don’t we settle down okay?” He seemed to be calmer and more at ease now, letting you lay down with him resting on your chest. Within a few seconds he was fast asleep and you yourself were close to falling asleep. The bedroom door opened and the four men stumbled in tired beyond belief.
Egon smiled gently seeing you and Oscar on his bed, but something inside him switched when he realized how close you and Oscar were. You were always so motherly to him, you were always so sweet and kind, it made him want children of his own with you. Egon tries telling himself children would just hinder the ghostbusters, or they’d grow up without a dad, but every time he saw you with Oscar in your arms, it made his heart swell and beat a little faster. He sighed and took his glasses off putting them on his bedside before getting into bed with you and Oscar. You shifted in your sleep and held Oscar close as Egon snuggled up to you, his heart beating faster. He was never good with emotion, his parents rarely gave him any attention.
But every little kiss or nuzzle from you made his heart swell. His mind drifted to his bedside table where he was keeping the ring. Maybe in the future you two would marry, you’d have children of your own, hell you could maybe become a ghostbuster like him, then you could alternate between looking after your children. Egon smiled sleepily and kissed your forehead before he fell asleep.
Peter and Ray looked at each other and Peter smirked “someone has baby fever”
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hiitsm · 4 months
Text
Bound by Trust: Navigating Turbulance Together
Part 5.
You hesitate to open up to your girlfriend about what's happening at home because you've been explicitly instructed not to share it with anyone.
Angst, Hurt, detailed physical abuse by a parent (reader talks about it to Alexia), lot's of Comfort & Fluff
-
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Kindness
-
Awakening to a sharp pain in your nose, you struggled to open your eyes, the left one barely responding. The room was cloaked in darkness, making it impossible to discern whether it was day or night. However, a comforting warmth enveloped you—someone's arms were securely wrapped around you, gentle breaths tickling the nape of your neck.
In your dazed state, you remembered insisting that she didn't have to sleep on the floor, despite her protests. Being close to her in bed made you feel protected, especially after the emotionally charged, yet profoundly tender experience of showering together. Those moments had deepened your bond, making the thought of being apart unbearable.
Attempting to shift your position gently, you inadvertently stirred Alexia from her light slumber. "Ale, my nose hurts," you murmured, your voice choked with discomfort. Panic seeped into your words as you added, "What time is it? I can't see."
Her response was immediate and soothing, the concern in her voice palpable as she tightened her embrace. "You're okay, it’s 3 am. I'll turn on the light to check on your nose, is that okay, mi vida?"
Nodding weakly, you managed, "Yes, please," and grimaced as another wave of pain hit you when you turned onto your back.
When the bedside lamp flicked on, the soft light revealed the extent of the swelling—your nose was significantly puffed up, especially on the left, causing your eye to swell shut with a bruise beginning to form. Alexia’s face fell with worry as she examined you.
"Oh, mi vida, it’s swollen quite badly," she whispered, her voice a tender caress of concern. "I'll grab some ice packs and medicine for you. I'll be right back, I promise." She squeezed your hand reassuringly, lifting it to her lips for a gentle kiss before hurrying downstairs.
Almost immediately, Alexia returned laden with an icepack, painkillers, and a bottle of water, managing to carry it all effortlessly in one hand. Her presence was a calming force despite the urgency of the situation. "Let’s try to get you a bit more comfortable against the headboard," she suggested gently, placing everything on the nightstand before assisting you to sit up. With a soft kiss on your cheek, a gesture filled with tenderness, she opened the water bottle.
"Please take these painkillers," she urged, handing you two tablets which you accepted eagerly, hoping they would dull the sharp throbbing. As you swallowed them, Alexia's next concern was to make the icepack more bearable. "I’m going to find a cloth for this icepack," she said, her voice betraying a hint of panic.
You could sense her worry and wanted to ease it. "Amor, please don’t worry, okay? Just use my shirt, it’s fine," you reassured her softly, managing a smile despite the discomfort.
Her chuckle in response was light and loving, appreciating how well you knew her thoughts without needing to see her face. "Is that because you want to wear one of my shirts tomorrow?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"Maybe," you admitted with a grin, feeling comfort in the familiarity. "Your shirts always feel so soft, perfect with your scent on them."
You felt the bed shift as Alexia settled next to you, wrapping your shirt around the icepack with delicate care. As she placed it against your swollen nose, you flinched from the cold but quickly sought out her hand, seeking comfort. She intertwined her fingers with yours, a simple gesture that grounded you.
"Does that feel relieving?" she asked, hopeful that the ice was starting to soothe the pain.
"A little now, thank you, amor," you responded, grateful not only for the physical relief but for the deep, unwavering support she provided. Your heart felt lighter, buoyed by her love and care, even in this painful moment.
"I'm sorry if this seems like it's all moving too quickly," you began, your voice tinged with a hint of worry. You didn't want to overwhelm Alexia or push her away by accelerating things more than you had initially intended. However, for Alexia, the pace felt just right—not because you were hurt, but because it showed how much you trusted her. You were turning to her first for comfort, letting her be your primary source of safety and support.
"Don't worry about that, mi amor, we're doing just fine. I love you so much," Alexia reassured you, her voice laden with emotion, hinting at deeper feelings she was hesitant to express through words alone.
"I'm so glad to be here with you," you replied softly, your gratitude genuine and profound.
Observing your discomfort, possibly from the dim light straining your eyes, Alexia offered a thoughtful suggestion. "Shall I turn off the lights?" she asked, her voice carrying a note of concern.
In the comforting embrace of darkness, a peaceful silence settled between you. But after a moment, Alexia broke it, her tone careful but needing to understand more. “Has this happened before?” Her question was gentle, probing not out of curiosity but out of a deep need to understand the depth of past pains that had touched your life, specifically the treatment you endured from your mother.
You knew immediately what she was referring to, and you felt the weight of past emotions stirring. Yet, in the safe haven that was Alexia's presence, you felt a trust that allowed you to be vulnerable. You sighed softly, the breath heavy with the burden of memories, as you prepared to open up to her about your past.
"It's all so confusing to me right now. I didn't really recognize that what she did was wrong, maybe deep down I did, but she confuses me, Ale," you confessed, your breath shaky with emotion. "She can be the most kind mother, but she can also turn into a rage in seconds." You squeezed Alexia's hand tightly, seeking comfort in her presence. Sensing your need, she scooted closer, resting her head on your shoulder.
“She pushed me down the stairs, threw things at me, scolded me, told me she wished she never had me, hurt me physically a lot...” A tear escaped your eye, but you refrained from wiping it away, mindful of your tender nose. “And yet, amidst all that, I always said my mother could be so kind too.”
Your voice wavered as you continued, recounting painful memories. “Most of the time, it was just a hit on the arm or head, which I was grateful for because it could have been much worse. I know that sounds stupid. My father was never around when things like that happened, but he could always sense the tension and would tell me to keep it down because I should know how she is. That's why I pushed a lot of things down and didn't let them come up again.”
As you spoke, Alexia caressed the back of your hand with her thumb, offering silent reassurance. “No, mi vida, it does not sound stupid,” she whispered softly.
“A few weeks ago, all those memories came flooding back, and I wanted to tell you, but every time I tried, the words wouldn’t come,” you confessed, feeling a weight lifting off your shoulders as you shared your burden. “My first memory was when I was seven, and I wanted to have a playdate with a classmate at home. My mother didn’t want to have someone over, but I kept asking. She didn’t want to hear any of it, pushed me so hard I fell to the ground, and kicked me several times.” Alexia gasped in horror at the revelation.
“I always tried to be quiet about it because she would say things like I shouldn't have to talk about it, and that made me feel like it was normal. Later, I was just afraid of what would happen if I talked to anyone about it,” you explained, your voice heavy with the weight of your past. “But two days ago, it really got out of hand. I had bought that new jacket with you, came home, and my mother didn’t like it. I didn’t want to return it, and she shoved me, not realizing the stairs were behind me. She didn’t stop there; she hurt me more, Ale. My head hit the wall, that’s why that cut was above my eyebrow. I’m sorry for not telling you,” you confessed, tears streaming down your cheeks as you buried your face in Alexia's shoulder.
“There's no need to apologize, amor. You don’t have to feel sorry,” Alexia whispered softly, holding you even closer, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed. “I’m just glad that you could tell me now, and I will do my absolute best to support you where you need it,” she assured you, her words a soothing balm to your wounded soul as she held you close, allowing you to release the pent-up emotions in tears.
After letting you cry and holding you close, Alexia gently pulled back to look into your eyes, her expression filled with love and determination.
“Amor, I want you to know that you're not alone in this,” she said, her voice steady and reassuring. “We'll get through this together, okay? I'll be here for you every step of the way.” Her own emotions and tears now also flowing freely.
As Alexia processed everything you had shared with her, she couldn't help but feel a profound sense of admiration and love for you. The strength and resilience you exhibited in the face of such adversity left her in awe. She couldn't imagine the weight you had been carrying all these years, yet you still managed to spread kindness and positivity wherever you went.
Listening to your story, Alexia realized just how special you truly were. Despite the challenges you faced, you remained compassionate and caring, always putting others before yourself. It was clear to her now why you valued kindness so much—it was your way of bringing light into the darkness you had experienced at home.
As you both settled back under the bedsheets, Alexia wrapped her arms around you, holding you close and providing a comforting embrace. She wished she could find the perfect words to express how much she cared, but she hoped you could feel it in her touch and the way she held you.
The weight of the emotions seemed to hang heavy in the air, but Alexia was determined to bring a sense of peace to the moment. "Let's try to get some more sleep, okay?" she whispered softly, her voice filled with tenderness and care.
"Yes, can you please hold me?" you asked, your vulnerability evident in your voice.
"Of course, mi vida," Alexia replied, her voice gentle and reassuring. "I will always hold you." With those words, she held you even closer, hoping to provide you with the comfort and security you needed to drift off into a peaceful sleep.
-
I think there will be one or two more chapters to go. With a bit of a time jump, but I'm not sure yet.
Sending you all hugs 🫶
:)
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