#they give the same energy as the 'someone is going to die -' 'of fun! :D' meme

[lacrimosathedark]

Who wants trauma headcanons? :D

Bruce taught every Robin and Batgirl how to properly use a gun as well as ways to counter it. The base of all of their costumes are specifically reinforced against bullets. He updates them for every major attempt on their lives. From the start, Dick’s palms were reinforced against corrosive materials. After Babs was shot, he made Jason’s cape and spinal protection stronger. After Jason died, Tim’s costume was reinforced for blunt trauma and fire retardant. After Steph got “killed”, he actively left his plans available for Tim’s scrutiny. After Damian was run through, his next costume was reinforced for piercing damage.

The only time Bruce sets his One Rule aside is in the near aftermath of losing someone important, examples being when he nearly killed the Joker after he killed Jason and when he left KGBeast to die after he shot Dick. He would do that for any of his kids, and he’s as terrified of doing it as he is of not.

Kate gets anxious around mirrors. They remind her of her mother. They remind her of her sister and the games they used to play. They make her feel alone when she knows she’s not.

Dick is incredibly attentive and actively afraid of his own anger. After losing Jason, and not knowing in part because of his own distance with Bruce, he actively clings to his family so he doesn’t lose that chance again. This is part of why his adopted Tim as his brother so fast, and was willing to give Damian so many chances despite being a Huge Prick.

Dick was re-traumatized by Tim nearly falling to his demise, and now if any of his siblings exhibit the slightest emotional distress, he gets anxious about letting them out alone in costume. He’s terrified he won’t be there to catch them.

Dick finds the smell of rain, even in putrid areas of Gotham and Bludhaven, soothing. Until it’s mixed with the scent of blood and/or sweat, which actively puts him on edge. Especially at night. He has to actively focus on what’s going on or else he might freeze up.

While Dick actively enjoys how clearly people find him attractive and likes to have fun with it, he is a bit sex-averse, and any unexpected attention has him momentarily panic, or at the very least extremely uncomfortable. He hates when people lay their hands on him in a sexual way infinitely more than them actively assaulting him. He’s been taught how to handle clear violence.

Babs has an instant reaction of fear followed by anger every time she hears someone at the door. Sometimes intense menstrual pain gives her similar feelings and flashbacks. During these time, she specifically keeps an eye on her father, Bruce, and Jason.

She watches so much surveillance footage because she’s not as effective on foot anymore but needs to have everyone’s backs. She trusts Cass and Steph to act in her place, but she still hates having to be on the sidelines.

Jason and Tim don’t like anything close to their neck. Jason scratches at his neck when he’s got too much irritable energy, especially directed at Bruce. Roy and Artemis definitely notice and try to distract him.

Jason has adapted to explosives and loves them the same way he does morbid jokes, but certain sounds, like thick metal on cement, can set him off.

Jason get noticeably anxious around people who are actively intoxicated or severely ill. His anxiety usually manifests as aggression, which tries to direct appropriately, but it’s a struggle.

Tim immediately dissociates/numbs when confronted with a scene with lots of pooling blood. He has enough practice working through practically anything, he can push how he feels aside to work. But once he’s alone, he loses it. Only Bruce and Dick know.

After No Man’s Land, and even more so when Tim lost his fucking spleen, everyone gets anxious whenever Tim seems the slightest bit sick. Tim also gets incredibly nervous, but is able to put up a front for everyone else.

Cassandra often feels the need to check in with Tim--they know things about each other no one else knows and share quite a bit of trouble. And Tim was always there for her even when she was at her worst. He’s always been safe for her.

Cass sometimes talks aloud to Stephanie when she isn’t there, or when she’s sleeping. Stephanie has walked in or woken up to it a few times. She usually plays it off to smooth it over, but makes sure to check in with her later and give her lots of hugs and remind her she’s still there.

Jason, Cass, and Stephanie are all sensitive to child victims, and become very cautious around them.

Stephanie reflexively grimaces any time she sees any kind of black skull; shirt decals, jewelry, tattoos, her face scrunches up without any intent.

Stephanie is both the best and worst at handling victims who are young parents or have young children. She can empathize better than anyone, but it usually leaves her shaken. Tim, and sometimes Cass, are the only ones who can comfort her.

Steph has a love/hate thing for fighting the Riddler. On one hand, he reminds her of her father, and she is actively kicking his ass. On the other, he is much better than her father and usually less malicious (and actively wants to be noticed most of the time). She gets really pent up and ends up beating the shit out of his goons a bit harder than she should.

Damian hates the Bat Cave. He already felt resentment for the dinosaur almost killing him, and he loathes the case holding Jason’s case because he has come to find the epithet cold, and on a bad day all he can see is Tim lying among broken glass. After Bane killed Alfred, he could hardly stand being there for a minute.

Tim and Damian hate Time Shenanigans. Tim always sees the worst of himself and everything he’s ever lost, and Damian feels like it takes people away from him.

Duke sometimes flinches when he hears people laugh. He doesn’t mean to, but if it sounds a bit too unhinged, he can’t seem to help it.

[nrsstuff]

You & Me

pairing: pedri/gavi

warnings: implied stalking

notes: my writing energy is back woohoo! oh and there will be another part for this but it can be read as a standalone :D

It is summer when Pedri looks at Gavi from behind. His training kit clings to his sweaty skin, making him feel uncomfortable every time he moves. Gavi seems to be laughing with Ansu, and Pedri has never wanted to know what they are laughing about.

 

Don't get him wrong. 

 

He isn't jealous of Ansu, he just has this mad curiosity inside him, like a scientist who discovers something impressive. Pedri continues to drink his water before throwing the bottle away. That doesn't count as littering, as he would pick up the bottle later, well, hopefully, if he remembers that.

 

Suddenly, Gavi is looking in his direction. Pedri immediately diverts his gaze towards somewhere else, and somehow de Jong in the distance is the perfect scenery for his eyes. He prays that no one hears his heartbeat because his heart is pounding behind his ribs, and it isn't fun at all. 

 

Shit, am I blushing?

 

Standing here like an idiot wouldn't help, so he makes his way to the field again. Their coach blows the whistle to call everyone to continue their training. This time, they have to form two teams to fight against each other, and luckily, Pedri gets to team up with Gavi.

 

As if being on the same team isn't enough, Pedri manages to assist Gavi with a goal that gives their team a lead in the match. Hugging your teammates after scoring a goal is completely normal, but Pedri can't grasp that feeling when Gavi crashes onto him, embracing his body like he is a home.

 

Their chests hit each other, and Pedri acts on autopilot, where he wraps his arms around Gavi's body. He notices how Gavi's waist is small, making it easier for him to lock the boy in his hold. In this moment, he wishes nothing but for time to freeze itself, to not let go of this boy.

 

Pedri wants to apologise for hugging Gavi too tight, but honestly, who could blame him? Someone whom he has been watching from afar is in his arms. He could finally inhale Gavi's scent. No more stealing his underwear or dirty clothes anymore.

 

No one needs to know that. It should be locked in his mind forever.

 

All of a sudden, a pair of lips touched his tan skin. His heart rate has gone high, and if his face is red due to the heat, oh, someone better call the ambulance. Pedri swears he could die in this instance.

 

Seriously, Gavi, you're going to be the death of me!

 

It's just a short kiss on his neck, but that makes Pedri almost jump like a teenager who just kissed their crush. A lot of things are going on in his mind, but with Gavi breaking their hug, Pedri finally returns to his senses.

 

His hands are itchy to pull Gavi back into a hug, aching to seal Gavi from this cruel world.

Pedri needs to play the good friend role—someone who is always there for Gavi. Though he thinks Gavi should get the hint that his best friend right now is in love with him, but that's fine. Gavi will always be next to him.

 

I'm willing to die for you, why can't you notice that?

[loser-brain]

If you have not seen this post goin' around about not giving permission to allow people to take your work and put it into an ai against your wishes. There's the post.

Let's talk about this user's close-minded brain that they left in the replies.

The fact that they believed they are saying "Facts" is pathetic. They even answer a question from anon who believes they are saying facts.

Hey come here, have you ever heard of... plagiarism? It's a fancy word for theft. Especially in a creative field mostly used in writing.

My fellow lovelies, it's that time again.

THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO SLAUGHTER ANOTHER BIGOTED IDIOT IN THE CREATIVE FIELD >:D

Ai aka Artificial intelligence, what the hell is that? Glad you ask, I don't know, but in simpler terms, it's code that replicates and learns. The more you interact with it and correct its errors the more it will realize and perfect its code. IT'S NOT ALIVE. It's simply following a code that involves something along the line like us which is growth.

Using ChatGPT for fun is alright. Using ChatGPT or OpenAi to finish a story that is not yours... is not alright. That is where a line has been crossed. A line that violates Fair Use.

And since the majority of AO3 users are not putting their work behind a paywall, it still falls under fair use.

OH but it's a fanfic, we can do whatever we like with it!

WRONG. Fan-fictions falls under copyright laws. So in other words. Y'all are violating our rights by putting them into an Ai. get fuck.

BOOM! BANG! AND HERE'S ANOTHER THING! Ai, in the US, have to have the permission of the original author to have their work used in the testing to improve the Ai ability.

SO GET FUCK AGAIN

Okay now that the facts are done. Like I'm serious, it's done, got any questions, shoot me an inbox. Now we dissect this person's close mind dumb reply.

FYI, everyone is like, destroying this person. I'm serious, oof I do not want to be this person. I still kinda remember the last person that spoke dumbness, but about art. Remember that person, damn, they really got my blood boiling at like... oh hey, it's 3 in the morning... This must be fate.

SO LET'S BEGIN!

"I mean alright but at the same time, Maybe it's a sign you should finish your fanfictions 🙃"

Damn, someone has a lot of time on their hand. And as someone who does has a lot of time on my own hands, I still can't fully finish a fic. Wanna know why, because I'm tired. Like there would be days where my brain goes somewhere and I'm left with trash. I'm feelin' trashy, I'm feelin' moody, I'm even feelin' lost. It's normal to feel empty and want to fill it but don't have the energy for it. So maybe instead of being an ass to people and forcing them to finish something they can't at the moment. How about, maybe, you should stop being an ass and let people take their time 🙃.

"Like, if a fic has been abandoned for at least over a year, I feel like it's ok"

Everyone, repeat after me, fan fiction is protected under the copyright laws.

"Cause like, you clearly aren’t gonna finish it, why should it be left unfinished?"

Who's gonna tell em'? Anyone? *sees you raising your hand in the back, ignores you* Alright, I will! So like, do you not have imagination? Like do you not just, lay there in the grass under a big tree, letting the wind touch upon your cheekbone, and just... dream about the story. Like, don't you just read a volume of a book and just, imagine what happens next. Once you are done reading that volume of the book, don't you just anticipate what happens next in the story? Don't you have those moments where you thought about whether a character was going to die or live? Whether they save the day or not? Cause if you don't then damn, that's sad. You're sad. Like shit man, I'm sad but oof, that's even sadder than me.

"Now I don't think anyone has the right to post that work anywhere cause it's not yours."

OMG, I'M SO PROUD-

"But getting an AI to finish a work that *you have no intention of finishing* isn't really wrong in my opinion."

I WAS SO PROUD OF YOU AND NOW LOOK AT YOU. YOU IDIOT. Once again, say it with me now, fan fiction is protected under the copyright laws. So in other words, THEY CANNOT PUT YOUR WORK INTO AI WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT/PERMISSION. god fuckin' damn it. So close, you were so fuckin' close.

"If you are gonna finish it, make that clear"

HOW!? No, tell me how. How the fuck is someone who is using their free time to write a fic is gonna make it clear for you to understand that is their work and they get to choose whether they can work on it or not. Huh? It's fanfic, it's one thing when a users ask the author to continue the story because that is a thing that writers do. There is a group of people that would take over the fic and finish it for the author if the author just does not have time to finish it.

It's another when a user just blatantly takes it and shoves it into an Ai because AHAHAHA IT'S A FANFIC IT'S NOT PROTECT UNDER ANYTHING. WRONG BITCH IT COUNTS AS A FANWORK. Therefore it falls under fair use and copyright.

Writing is more complex to tell whether plagiarism exists in it. But we're no longer talking about plagiarism if you are just shoving it into an ai machine. You see, that is a violation of OUR copyright. OUR fair use. OUR work.

Oh but what about intellectual property? Are y'all putting your work behind a paywall? no, then it's fine. You still have the power to protect your work. So instead of believing this person thinking they are spilling facts... do a simple Google search. Is fanfiction protected by copyright law?

It's fanwork. Therefore, yes. Yes, it is.

Just gonna casually edit this: The commentators have learned what they did/said was wrong.

This is not a debate post. I'm stating facts that your work is protected and in the US you got to have the author's permission to put their work into Ai tech/machines. If you don't have their permission then it's a violation of their right.

[sleepymarmot]

Glass Onion

Yes, I had been waiting for this movie for a while and dropped everything to watch it the day of release. What about it?

Liveblog

Is it bad that I’m already like “I want all of these people to die”? Well, maybe not Lionel I guess.

Lol a bit of sci-fi to justify the actors not wearing masks for the entire movie

Is the bad CGI robot some kind of Star Wars legacy? :D

Aww, poor Benoit Soo, one of the guests plans to murder the host for real, and invites a detective to frame another guest?

It’s been 30 minutes, can people start dying please (Not Andi though, that’d be uncool)

Love the scenery, and Craig’s outfit is nice

Cool shot where Andi has the same expression as the Mona Lisa

“This is reckless. And you’re gonna get somebody killed.”

Okay, so far we’ve established the motive for: Peg, Duke, Lionel, maybe Claire. What about Birdie? And the random guy hanging around? And Andi? Is Andi automatically disqualified because we saw her destroy the box? That could be a real alibi or a red herring.

Nooo, so awkward, I can’t watch this Oh, he did it on purpose, that makes it a bit less painful

Huh, he didn’t mention Andi in the monologue...

Oh good, exactly an hour into a murder mystery, someone finally died! Yes, yes, of course it was an attempt on Miles’ life, I thought we’ve already established he’s who everyone wants dead. Cool trick to keep Norton among the active cast, I thought it was weird for the most famous actor to play the victim. (It’s nice to see Norton again btw, I wondered a while ago why I hadn’t seen him in new movies recently.)

Lmao the lights! Now this is fun

Oh no, Andi! :(

Plot twist!! Well now he's responsible for an innocent woman’s death, that’s going to give him a motive to find the killer

This shit is wild

Hell yeah she’s alive!!!

Is she going to attack the Mona Lisa?..

I feel bad about the painting. The way this was framed as a triumphant moment has the same energy as that Tumblr post about destroying famous paintings because rich people like them.

Review

[Additional spoilers for Knives Out, The Last Jedi, Midsommar, and The Handmaiden]

The film takes too much time to get started. The characters are too flat to carry it until the plot actually launches. Only gets good after the plot twist. The secondhand embarrassment scenes are excruciating.

The plot: “rich people bad, the detective teams up with a pure-hearted woman of color and helps her win”, take two. Are they going to make a whole franchise out of this? Not a great foundation for murder mystery: just look for the most entitled white man and that’s your killer.

Benoit Blanc himself, though, is a good character to build a movie series around. A classic independent detective with a kind heart and a taste for adventure — I want to see more of him. Many people have said it already, but I want Blanc to replace Bond as Daniel Craig’s #1 role.

The biggest strength of the film were, of course, all of the clever and fun twists and reveals. As you can see from the liveblog, I was misdirected very successfully and loved it every time.

And now for the biggest flaw of Glass Onion in my eyes. Just like Knives Out, this film has an extremely fun outer layer wrapped around the heart that I find a genuine downer. Most of the shallow, annoying characters got off scot-free, and what was harmed the most in act 3 was an innocent painting. I’ve already seen The Last Jedi, I don’t really need the same ending scene as the Canto Bight storyline — except worse because the writer doesn’t see the difference between “rich asshole’s property” and “priceless piece of art”. Which is a bad enough take to see on Tumblr, but straight up baffling to encounter in a high budget movie, written by a professional filmmaker. (Amazing timing, though. How did they manage to release this not only in the middle of the Musk major meltdown/Twitter takeover but also soon after the Van Gogh soup discourse?)

In retrospect it also reminds me of a couple of other famous scenes with a female protagonist involved in destruction, and the comparison is not in Glass Onion’s favor. Midsommar also ends with the heroine and a huge symbolic fire, but it’s a horror/drama, and the event takes not only the lives of those caught in the fire but the soul of the heroine. The Handmaiden, on the other hand, features a scene of art destruction that is genuinely positive and cathartic, but the nature of art and the role it plays in human lives is radically different.

[Edited to add] I’ve seen people who liked the ending defend it by saying that people are more important than art. The thing is, if this were framed as the trolley problem — if destroying a priceless work of art were presented as the only way to save an unknown number of lives — I would feel differently. Instead, the film seems to want the viewer not to value the Mona Lisa just because the rich amoral characters do value it.

In a more Watsonian and practical sense, I don’t see how this is a win for Helen. She was the one who burned the painting. The fuel played only a minor part, the painting would have been destroyed just the same without it (in fact, that’s what expected Miles’ lighter to be for). But even if it were otherwise — okay, so this new fuel can easily cause a fire; well, so can electricity and gas if you’re not careful! Not great for PR of this specific product, but not a death sentence either. Most importantly, it’s the person who committed arson that will be charged for it, not the person who unwittingly provided the fuel for the fire.

I did have a good time, to be clear! Very worth watching unspoiled. The release was timed well: the overall lighthearted tone, clever twists, vibrant visuals (bright colors, stylish outfits, idyllic location) make this a good holiday movie.

I’m having trouble with a numerical grade (the worst part of IMDB and Letterboxd is that they make me care about grading, even though it doesn’t work with how I think about media at all). Glass Onion feels like a 7, but I gave Knives Out a 9 and they don’t feel two whole grades apart.

[evansbby]

Hey bestie 🥰 In relation to the dilf next door

Bestie thank you so much for looking out for me ❤️🫶, you’re a true bestie 🫶❤️ I’m deffo being cautious because my first thoughts (well second immediate thoughts after ‘wow he so handsome’) were the same as yours - I must be careful no matter what happens because he is older, already knows where I live and I do live by myself; all things that make this trickier. I always thought in fanfics that an age gap was hot but that irl if an older man seemed interested in someone significantly younger (I’m 23 and during our small talk yesterday I learned he is in his late thirties) that that’s an immediate red flag and a nuh-uh 🙅‍♀️ So I’m making sure to be very careful with how things go

So taking all these things into consideration, he does seem genuinely really nice, our walk around the neighbourhood went well ☺️ After our walk we sat on a park bench and talked some more to get to know each other better. It seemed like he only made moves once I made moves - to explain myself, in the middle of talking I did the thing where I gently nudged his arm with my hand (something I do with everyone, like you know that innocent hand touch to the arm for the girlies and the bros and the fam and to everyone else in between) and then he did the same a few times to me too. Then I lightly put my knee to his (I was just trying to do some subtle stuff to give him hints that I’m low-key interested but not too much stuff so that if he didn’t feel the same way I could brush it off as ‘I’m just really friendly and do those things with everyone hehe 😅’) and he leaned his knee further into mine and we remained like that for the rest of the convo. I got the impression then that he was being careful and not trying to make any moves first to try to prevent me feeling uncomfortable because of all the factors in this sitch. So I tried to give hints without outright asking him out because I deadass would rather die than ever make the first move 😭 I subtly brought up I’m single and asked him if he was too (without outright asking) and then I mentioned the name of a coffee shop we walked past looks interesting (hoping he’d get the darn hint) and he asked if I wanted to try it out with him and the d word came up - so we’re going on a first date next Saturday, eeeep!!

I’m hoping then we can clarify what we’re both looking for going forward - because I’m not looking for anything serious, just some mutually exclusive fun one night once a week (I’m really not looking to invest more time or energy for anything else than that because of upcoming finals) so I hope he’s on the same page too, and if not at least we would have had that discussion early on.

Then we walked back to the apartment complex arm against arm and eeeeppp it was just an exciting day ☺️

Bestie I’m definitely being careful to make sure I protect myself and am safe, and am trying to get to know him really well before deciding if I want to take things any further. Thankfully he seems like a genuinely nice person - I felt safe and comfortable with him ☺️

And yes south asain girlies 🫶❤️💘💘💘🥰!!!!

And whilst I’m not getting ahead of myself because I know I have to see how things progress at each meeting, but should anything sexi happen at any point in the future - dw bestie I won’t give deets of those because das tmi baha - I just wanted to share some general sfw stuff about this dilf sitch because I feel like we can be two girlies who chat over online chai tea and cake rusks 🥰🫶❤️

- 💙

(this is in relation to this anon ask, for anyone wondering)

Omg bestie!! Firstly, I’m sorry for the late reply! But omg!!! I’m happy you already realise the risks and tbh as long as you do AND you feel safe and comfy with him… there’s no reason why you can’t have fun and live your best dilfy life!! Please feel free to share all the dilfy deets (as much as you feel comfortable with) bc we are all dilf fanatics here!!! we are all living vicariously through you bahaha 😌😌😌💙💙💙

[locria-writes]

hi, welcome to my ted talk where i gush about my good and unproblematic children who accidentally help set in motion everything bad that happened leading up to the personal writing catastrophe that i've yet to name :D also not this soft enemies-to-friends-to-lovers arc

lan xiaoyun (兰霄云) aka local friendly nihilist aka friendly neighbourhood miser

24, single, very much ready to not mingle

thinks she's in a psychological military horror-drama (she's half-wrong)

only became a sergeant major in the earth coalition military bc there were too many ppl dead and they needed to fill in ranks. resigned the first chance they accepted lol

should probably see a therapist and stop seeing alcohol and sleeping pills as her best friends

needs to get a hobby

absurdly high standards for beauty/handsomeness

would be on an episode of extreme couponing ngl

natural-born bully, actively tries to not bully but can't help herself. doesn't help that she's just a naturally blunt person, but she does have a filter

aspires to be in a permanent head-empty state, does not like thinking, but works a cognitive-intense job and is renowned for her ability to pull absurdly long hours with minimal sleep

hates sweet food, prefers spicy and sour

may or may not have a slight brocon but it's okay he's dead lol

is 157cm, therefore radiates the same energy as a feral chihuahua

is ambivalent and not averse to sex and kissing on the first date, or even just hookups

watched her 3 previous bfs die brutal deaths (#1 in an exploding ship, #2 had his face smashed in, #3 vapourized), so she's kinda convinced anyone she dates is gonna die brutally and it's her fault

florentius asturias aka overgrown puppy when in love aka wholesome lad

30, single, very much ready to mingle if it's xiaoyun

thinks he's in a family friendly romcom (he's half-right)

prodigal venator pilot, equally prodigal commander, a marshal in concordia and basically one of their living legends

25% kind and altruistic, 25% honest and forthcoming, 25% patient, 10% calculating, 5% pragmatic, 5% charming, 5% clumsy = 100% endearing

has good taste, but always picks the worst people for his current state aka he chased upward when he was down and is now chasing down when he's up

also really needs to get a hobby

had two messy breakups in the past (#1 broke up to marry someone richer, #2 was just a mess with infidelity), but is surprisingly still an optimistic romantic

known to be stoic and aloof to his subordinates and colleagues, but is actually a big softie on the inside and is very emotive

a true gentleman, chugs his respect women juice and has indeed killed people who don't

extremely competent at his job, but is actually kinda useless otherwise; man can't cook, can't decorate for shit, has no hobbies, but since he's 190cm, can be used as a very pretty and motivational ladder

currently being exiled to bad baby jail (less lucrative post) by his superior bc he's not married and initially had no intentions of getting hitched

unabashedly a sweet tooth, has never hid it, will never hide it, and shouts it proudly from the rooftops

does not believe in sex on the first date, or even kissing on the first date, does not believe in hookups (for himself) either

is convinced this relationship will work out since she hasn't managed to kill him the previous 48 times she tried

[bruciemilf]

I AM SO FUCKING WEAK. FOR THE JASON AND STARFIRE FRIENDSHIP. YOU GUYS DON'T GET IT, GOSH-

Tall sunshine/Tall angry murder kitten

" someone will die'' " of FUN :DDDDD"

Girls who say brah/girls who say HIIIIII energy

Jason trying to give Kori the shovel talk for Dick (Not because he cares; But someone needs to be there to annoy, and unless the world's ending, he won't willingly interact with Tim) but. Godamn it.

Her eyes are so big. Like an overly grown puppy. He can't do it. "... Just. Y'know. Try not to set his heart on fire and eat it. " " I would NEVER :(((" " WELL DONT CRY-"

Jason pulls Dick aside when Kori visits the Wayne manor for the first time, corners him, whispers very lowly, " We're out of mustard. Go. Get. Some."

Literally Jason being protective of his 6'4 sister in law/bestie he'd marry if he knew Dick wouldn't throw a fit. He specifically says " Damian, I PROMISE YOU, if you do anything to scare her intentionally, milk will NEVER taste the same when I'm done with you"

it's an elephant being scared of a mouse situation, - Kory is the most nervous to meet Damian out of anyone and Jason's like, so who wants to share embarassing Damian stories

Jay and Kory calling eachother cutesy nicknames " hey babe" " greetings, sugar pie cherub starlight pumpkin seeds little lovebug, starshine! The universe says HELLO!"

Braiding Kory's hair is an Olympic sport and Jason has the gold medal for it

Kory talking everyone about Jason being her best friend; She's like, " sweetest, most caring human I've come across. He is friendly and we bump foreheads a lot" then shows off pictures

And boom, the scariest bastard you've ever seen . "He enjoys cuddling kittens, and watching animated movies with me :D"

Jason ranting about books and literature and Kory INTENTLY listening to every word while sipping sweet mustard; She loves trashy romance novels written by 30 something women who hate their marriage, and Jason's like " your taste is fucking dreadful" but he secretly enjoys it

Kory also LOVES cartoons and Jason makes fun of her for it ruthlessly (or as ruthless as he can get with her) but guess who steals Bruce's credit card and buys her merch????

" here you go baby girl, buy some steven galaxy shirts from that gay ass rock show or something " " you intentionally pretend to not know my interests to reduce the meaning of your affection, but i know it's there >:D"

JASON MEETING BLACKFIRE. " And I thought I was a problem child."

Literally give me Jason and Blackfire interactions but they're just this

[kiridarling]

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐄

d.kaminari and h.sero | f!reader + corruption + weed/shotguning + praise + threesome + more! minors dni!

— 3.6k words

"I knew I wanted you the second I saw you."

Denki’s addicted to the pre-concert high.

His veins hum with a song that has yet to start, fingers drumming some mixed beat on the body of his electric guitar as he assumes his place on the dark stage. The theater’s dead silent, the room suspended in a titilating anticipation—and the steady rhythm Denki's heart dissapates into chaos when the faint crack of Eijirou's drumsticks bounce off the walls, and the click in his earpiece begins.

Eijirou hits the kick drum once. Twice. Then his hands fly across the set in a flurry, the rolling beat echoing into the packed arena and spurring the crowd to explode, fans flying to their feet to render their vocal cords for the night.

As the other instruments fill the blank space, Denki's hand grips the back of his guitar's neck, on hold for his solo, and by the time the electric blond steps up to the mic, pavlov's theory has already kicked in overdrive.

"Who’s ready to feel good tonight?”

“Dude, I’m on fucking fire!” Denki vibrates, nearly glowing in comparison to his bandmates as they sift through a flurry of fans at a meet and greet. It always seems like Denki and Eijirou are the only ones with energy after a good show—but what can he say? Being on stage lights him up like a live wire.

"You said that last concert, buddy," Hanta snorts, before his a fan ran sacks his attention by shoving a tiara into his hairline.

"And? My point still stan—" Denki cuts himself off with a gasp as a bra slings across his face, followed by a burst of pain when the metal hits him in the cheek. He peels the lacy thing off with an eye on the audience and an eyebrow raised in question, unsure of what to do with the undergarment (other than put it on) until someone screams:

“Sign it!”

Denki shrugs and pops the Sharpie cap with his teeth to sign the crest of both cups before flinging it back into the audience—he can only pray it pinpoints its rightful owner before the meet and greet ends.

Katsuki clicks his tongue (because he hates these events) and as the next round of fans lineup in front of their table, Eijirou stretches like this is a sport, saying, “Guess it’s go-time.”

"Go-time is when we perform," Katsuki grumbles in the seat to Denki’s right. "Go-time is when we're in the studio makin' a goddamn album, not meeting crazy fuckin' fans—no, I’m not gonna marry you, you obsessed fuckin—“

“Oh, you're just salty you're not popular with the ladies~“ Denki gushes, wiggling his eyebrows, and a fan hands him a canvas the size of his upper body. “Un—oh wow, did you make this for me—Unlike me, of course.”

"Okay, pretty boy." Hanta rolls his eyes, before signing a phone case and returning it to an overzealous fan. With a hand covering his mouth, he whispers, “Can you believe this guy? So full of himself, I swear.”

The fan giggles and Hanta meets the blushing cheeks with a satisfied smirk. Denki huffs from the disrespect, crossing both arms over his chest. “Full of myself? It’s not my fault I’m sexy—*an autograph? Of course!"

Katsuki chuckles, scratching under his chin with ink blue fingertips, "Call yourself sexy one more fuckin’ time and I'm projectile vomiti—no, I'm not signing your tits, give me a goddamn paper or somethin—"

"What?” Denki scoffs, chest collapsing with the disbelief that one could make such a lie. “I'm literally the definition of I'm sexy and I kno—"

"Um, excuse me?"

His gesticulations freeze at the passive voice, arms stretched wide and to the sky, and Denki knows he has to look absolutely ridiculous as he blinks down at the next person in-line; who's stood with bambi eyes and such a sweet smile the electric blond thinks it might make him sick.

"I-I'm your biggest fan! Could you—um, please sign this for me?"

She comes alive, shoving a poster into his chest with pink cheeks and shifty irises. Out of all the bras, all the breasts he's been asked to sign today, and here you are, with your pocket-sized poster and your lamb countenance. Denki beams.

"Of course, Sweetness! What's your name?"

"[Y/N]!" you say, giggling, and it's so. Cute. Denki opens the Sharpie and struggles to focus on signing instead of your gorgeous fucking face.

"Anything specific you'd like me to say?"

And he knows there's a rule—there always are when it comes to these things, and it's simple: don't fuck the fans. As tempting as it is, don't invite them back to your hotel room because there are too many uncertainties, and if something leaks to the press that’s possibly career ending, that’s it. So, Denki holds his tongue. For the future of himself and the band.

"Uhm, just write what you want! I...I think I'd like it best if it was authentic and came straight from you, so."

Fuck. Of course she does.

And maybe Denki just can't help it when he leans down to speak, perhaps a little lower, "You want something more authentic, cutie?"

You light up like a kid on Christmas, gasping, "Yes please Mr. Kaminari!"

So eager, too.

"Awe, you can call me Denki if you'd like," he coos, and you nod so quickly he starts to worry about whiplash. "Meet me out back, in the alley behind the venue if you wanna get to know me better. Sound like a deal?”

"O-Okay!" You nod, and when he returns your sign you grip it tight between both hands. "I'll um, see you soon Mr. Kami—I mean, D-Denki!"

You flush from the mix up and bow in apology, and Denki knows he's made the right choice when you light up, indicating you have no idea what he meant at all.

"Row row row your boat, gently down the stream," you hum, sniffling. You’re unsure if your nose is running, it's too frozen to tell, and it has you patting to confirm it’s presence. With your hands stuffed in your pockets and a jacket wrapped tight around your body, you'd think you'd be warm, but no.

The alley is dark. It's dank enough that you can smell it and you're positive what you're dancing in is vomit, but none the matter—today, you met your favorite band. Literally the people you'd die for.

"Merrily, merrily," kicking the loose rocks in the gravel every which way, you enjoy the sound of them scattering against the surrounding brick walls. "Merrily, merrily..."

"Life is but a dream," a voice finishes, a yelp rips from your throat and you jump twenty feet in alarm. But you’d know that voice anywhere; Denki chuckles at your reaction and it has you recoiling with timidity, unprepared for the surprised audience. "You have a lovely voice, Cutie. You should use it more often."

"I..." but you're not exactly sure what to say to that, knowing Denki's heard so many professional voices in his career to last a lifetime, and yet yours is lovely. "T-Thank you."

Denki watches your reaction with a hum and a smile, his visible breath escaping between the slit of his lips and into the cool air.

"Of course, Cutie."

Another voice sighs, shattering the friction that fills your gut when Denki gives you that look. You're not sure what to call it, but it makes you shiver, and that's enough to make you to run and hide.

"...Denki, who's this?"

"Um," the blond places his frozen hands in his pockets and swivels his head around to Hanta, guilty written all over his face. "A fan?"

Hanta sighs again, head tilting to the right in exhausperation, “Denki—"

"I know, I know," the electric blond sighs, waving him off. "But it's fine as long as we don't get caught, right?"

Hanta's black hair threatens to fall into his face so he combs through it, and you try not to drool at the sight of his bicep flexing. "Yeah, until we get caught."

A honk blares and it has you shrieking, to reveal a parked tour bus in the alley once the lights flicker on. Denki points the car keys at the vehicle and the doors swing open. "Awe c'mon, don't be a sour puss. It's a one-time thing, alright?"

Hanta's eyes narrow into slits.

"Seriously, dude! I'm a man of my word! On God."

The noirette's shoulders sag, but he waltzes around both of you to get on the bus. Over his shoulder, he warns, "Denki I swear to fucking god—"

"I'll be careful, I'll be careful~" he singsongs, hopping onto the stairs after the pianist. When Denki notices not you're not moving, he stills at the top step. "You coming, [Y/N]?"

"O-Oh, am I um, am I allowed?" You ask, biting your cheek at the thought of what Hanta just said as you peer around the electric blond’s body. Denki snorts, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you're allowed," he exits the bus, only to tug you on via your collar. "Now c'mon! Let's have some fun, yeah?"

"Okay!"

Denki steers you through the bus and into a space that looks a bit like a living room, with a couch, tv, and a makeshift kitchen in the corner. Following Denki to the kitchen, you look around.

"Where are Kirishima and Bakugou?"

"Out drinking," Denki tosses, flicking open a RedBull. You wonder if this is always the post-concert routine. Hanta fiddles in with something on the couch, but he still has yet to look you in the eyes tonight, even when you ask him:

"What are you doing?"

It seems he didn't realize you’ve relocated from the kitchen to the couch next to him from the noirette nearly jumps. The green stuff in his fingers crumbles, and you scrunch your nose at the smell.

"It stinks," you add. Denki snorts, jumping onto the cushion to your right. There isn’t a whole lot of room and his addition causes your shoulders to slush between the two of them, but it’s strangely comfortable.

"It's weed," he explains like it's obvious. "You smoke, Cutie?"

"Obviously not," you and Hanta say at the same time. You turn his way, and for the first time that night, Hanta looks you in the eyes—and it's a smile, with his eyes crinkling in the corners, but there's...something else. Something else hidden behind the thinnest veil that makes you cower, if ever so slightly.

Something feral.

Denki, unaware of the crushing grip your hand has around your thigh, huffs, and tosses the energy drink down his gullet, "It was a genuine question! Geez."

"What are you doing?" You ask again, and the electric blond whimpers from being ignored.

"Rolling a joint," he utters, lifting the paper to his lips to lick the length. You watch, semi-disgusted, as Hanta finally folds over the last bit of paper around the crest of the joint, gluing it together.

"Know what a joint is?" The noirette implores.

"Yeah," you breathe, shifting at the new closeness Denki provides when you feel his chest against your back. "My roommate smokes, so."

Hanta taps it on a tray, or what Denki describes as "packing it down," before twisting the tip and tossing it back onto the tray in conclusion. Denki cheers.

"Aha! The joint-rolling master has blessed us! Everyone say thank you, joint-rolling master."

"Thank you, joint-rolling master!" You giggle when Hanta's face turns a ruddy red. He reaches over to pop Denki upside the head. Denki gasps, before lunging to return the favor, and you squeal from being jostled between two men.

"Okay," when Denki returns to his seat he's panting and so is the noirette. He picks the joint off the tray and though there isn't much room, turns so he's facing you, your legs smushed against his body indian style. "You ready, Cutie?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," you huff, swinging your arms in preparation despite the lack of space. Just in case.

Hanta snorts, holding the joint to your lips, and Denki raises the lighter and raises it to the end until it's hot enough to burn on its own.

“Now suck."

You do, cheeks puffing, and you blow the smoke straight in Denki's face. It's...a lot.

"Not quite," Hanta chuckles, and flips you via the waist so you're facing him. Denki whines from the change but finds solace in hooking his chin over your shoulder. "Suck, and then inhale. Act like it's a big breath—you gotta hold it in your lungs for a sec."

"Okay," you assert with a nod, eyes burning with a new determination. When Hanta holds it to your lips, you suck and inhale, and start coughing your throat raw, in a flurry of smoke and tears, eyes watering and nose burning. You scramble for water, but by the time you get some, the only thing that's left to soothe is a sore throat.

"Here," Denki offers, grabbing the joint before flipping you his way again. "Take smaller hits, like this."

Denki's mouth wraps around the tip and smoke pours from his lips so smoothly you're determined to do the same. With a raised eyebrow, he passes it back to you, and though it takes a moment, you try again.

The back of your throat tingles but the glide is much smoother, and you find that it doesn't burn on your next exhale. So you do it again. And again. And agai—

"Okay," Hanta picks the joint from your fingers with a click of his tongue, before taking a hit himself. You frown, making grabby hands.

"Hey, wai—"

"Nu-uh," he tuts, pushing you down by your forehead. "You'll feel it soon enough, trust me."

You whine, crossing your arms over your chest. Hanta gives you nothing but a raised eyebrow as he takes another hit, and you're convinced it's to taunt you. "I'm not eve—"

But then the world blurs, a bit, and your legs hum in a way they haven't before; it's warm and it's nice, and it has you blinking down at your hands in bewilderment. Whoa.

"And there she goes," Denki announces, and somehow seized the joint from the noirette when you weren't looking. Your mouth drops to say something, but all you can produce is a light giggle before it melts into a guffaw that only comes straight from the gut, your hands trying to soothe your cramping belly. Tears come to your eyes fairly easily, and when Hanta asks if you're okay he sounds like he's underwater, and that's enough to send you flying through another fit of laughs.

"I—y-yeah, I'm just—just fine," you snort behind a hand, chest spasming as you finally gather yourself enough to calm down. "I'm good. Mhm."

"Yep. Totally fine," Hanta says, but something in his tone suggests he doesn't believe you at all.

You nod, biting your bottom lip to avoid another laugh attack with your hands bunching the bottom of your shirt for extra purchase. Hanta narrows his eyes while taking another hit, so you sock him in the shoulder with a huff. "Stop looking at me like that."

The noirette snorts, "Like what?"

"Like..." you start strong, but falter under his eyes. "Like you want to eat me."

Hanta hums at the comment but says nothing, and you're not sure if your mind fabricated the quick look he gives the electric blond sat behind you. Denki speaks first.

"Do you know what shotgunning is, [Y/N]?"

You frown, "Like a shotgun?"

"So no," Hanta answers for you.

"Here," Denki offers, turning you again. Plucking the nub of a joint from the noirette, he takes a big hit before picking your face up by the jaw and hovering your lips over yours. You're not sure what to do, but once your lips connect, smoke fills your lungs, and you don't exhale until Denki pulls away. You blink, a little dazed.

You just kissed Denki Kaminari.

"Feel good?" He asks, never leaving your personal space. You nod, and he grins. "Wanna do it again?"

Your hands fist his shirt, teeth tearing the inside of your cheek due to the amount of embarrassment this question encourages. "I wan—can we do it again but without the um...without the smoke?"

Denki's hands find your hips and it's hard for him to contain a sly smirk, biting his lips to move in on his prey.

"I knew I waned you the second I saw you."

Denki's lips feel much better when he puts a little weight into the kiss, pinning you between him and the noirette. You're not exactly sure what you're doing but he takes the lead, titling his head and kissing harder, rougher, so your lips are pink and swollen by the time he pulls away.

"A-Another," you whimper, tightening your grip around his tee.

Denki hums in contemplation, picking your head up by your chin. "Ask nicely, Cutie."

Flushing deeper, your eyes dart to the coffee table.

“Another, please."

"Good girl," Denki coos, and he's propping you up against Hanta's chest. You shiver at the comment, finding purchase on Hanta's thighs as Denki kisses you on the lips again. "Wanna feel even better?"

"Yes," you nod vehemently. "Yes please."

Denki hums at that, climbing down your body as his hands glide from your waist to the band of your pants. You frown, "What—What are you doing?"

"Eating you out, Cutie," the electric blond says, hands freezing once his thumbs dip under your waistband. "That okay?"

"Oh okay," you breathe, relaxing against Hanta's chest. "Y-Yeah, that's fine."

Denki rips your pants off at that, tossing them towards the corner of the room and ultimately, to a place you'll probably never find them. Pushing your panties to the side, he licks his lips at the sight of your pussy, and flicks your clit with a smirk. You jump.

"H-Hey, that's not—"

He flattens his tongue against your slit and chuckles when you shudder, and after tossing both of your legs over his shoulders. You're not sure what he does after that though, because Hanta picks your face up by the chin and presses his lips to yours.

Denki slides a finger inside and you squeal against Hanta's chapped lips. You hear the electric blond moan, readjusting himself between your thighs, before you finally peel your lips off the noirette's, chest having from lack of oxygen.

"Such a pretty pussy, Baby," Denki gushes before his warm lips fold around your clit and he sucks, humming in surprise when you buck against his mouth. Hanta hooks his chin around your shoulder with a second joint dangling between his lips—and where it came from is beyond you.

Once he exhales, the joint finds its way between your lips and he instructs you to inhale, and the head rush afterwards has you digging your head into his chest.

"You're so wet, holy shit," Denki pulls away, lips strawberry pink and glossed with slick as he trades his both for his thumb and inserting another finger. It crooks just right and that's enough to make your hips buck, nails carving crescents in Hanta's thighs.

“T-There,” you whimper, wiggling your hips again, and Denki grins, thumb pressing into your clit. Your thighs quiver with the strain it takes to hold them back and Hanta’s calloused hands skip to your waist after dropping the burning joint off in the tray.

“Pull his hair,” the noirette commands, but you hesitate, hands glued to his thighs. Hanta sighs, reaching over you to tug for himself.

“Mph—fuck!” Denki’s eyelids flutter as he moans into your pussy with a new passion, his hands wrapping around your thighs to hold you in place. You gasp at his reaction, fingers scrambling under Hanta’s own to thread through his electric blond hair.

“Move your hips—grind against his face, c’mon,” Hanta’s grip tightens around your waist as he offers the suggestion, and you whimper with a nod before your bucking into Denki’s mouth without abandon. As the noirette trails butterfly kisses up the column of your neck, the coil in your gut snaps, and you barely have time to squeak out a warning before you’re flooding Denki’s mouth.

“Good girl...ride it out—there you go,” Hanta coos, biting your ear. You shiver as Denki pulls away with a final (and obscene) slurp, grinning like he didn’t just shatter you to pieces with nothing but his tongue and fingers.

Denki’s lips are on yours in a blink—you moan, legs still buzzing from the afterglow as you weakly grope for the small hairs on the back of his neck.

“Taste good, don’t ya?” He says with a click of a tongue after pulling away.

“I guess so,” you flush, the humiliation from so shamelessly digging your heels into Denki’s back finally settling in. Hanta reaches under your arm for Denki’s chin.

“What? Want a taste too?” The electric blond giggles, wiggling his eyebrows. Hanta snorts.

“If you could be so kind.”

Denki hums at that, placing a hand on your inner thigh for balance as he slams his lips on the noirette’s for the first time that night. He dives straight for the kill, tongue and teeth and everything, and Denki moas when Hanta’s teeth sink into his bottom lip; you find that you like it a lot.

Though eventually you tired of watching, and press the heel of your hand on Hanta’s hard cock through the fabric of his jeans. The pianist hisses, and you grin—you’ve got their attention now.

“Whoa Sweetheart, what are y—“

“I...I want more,” you assert despite the tremor in your voice. Hanta raises an eyebrow in question which has you pressing harder in hopes he’ll cave just as easily as before. Just in case, you add, “Please.”

Denki redirects your attention by squishing your cheeks until you’re looking him in the eyes. With dark eyes, he says, “You sure you want more, Cutie?”

You nod despite the restriction, “Wanna...wanna get to know you better.”

You watch Denki’s pupils dialate at that, and he can’t even hold back a groan when he says:

“Gods, Baby. We’re going to ruin you.”

unpopular opinion: bakugou's the bassist and kirishima's the drummer. fight me.

not me projecting 12yo sun's fantasy of getting railed in the tour bus by 5sos um—

[virghogh]

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

fire sign astro observations☄️

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

This is my first time doing an observation post! These are just some things I’ve noticed about fire energy, some of these are very general statements and the specificities of the rest of someone chart can affect them. Take what resonates <3

🔥Fire mars’ are always naturally into activity/sports/exercise etc. and are usually pretty good too

🔥Leo and Aries are much more competitive when it comes to their activities

🔥Sagittarius mars/energy differs from the other 2 in that they’re often the ones with dumb luck and talent in sports etc.! Not always but, sometimes they’ll just be surprisingly good at whatever activity/sport they’re doing

🔥Sagittarius mars/energy is also less competitive than Leo and Aries. I’ve noticed with a lot of sag ppl that they care a lot more about having fun than winning or playing by the rules!

🔥For most people with prominent fire or a fire mars, activity and sports are a big part of their life from a young age. But even if the fire mars is placed in the 12th house or a “mature” house, or it doesn’t come to them at a young age, at some point in the natives life they will come to love activity

🔥While water moons are moody and have intense emotions, they’re very protective of them. Whereas fire moons (mars a little bit too) can actually have very volatile emotions because to them the only option they have is to express it. They’re not moody, but they’re very sensitive and emotional and it comes it quick hot flames, but is quickly extinguished by their own tears. But these outbursts can be really destructive to themselves and others

🔥I’ve seen some people mention this before and I want to add it because I’ve noticed it too, prominent Sagittarius natives can actually be very d*pressed often because they never feel fully free, they’re always longing for something more, and they’re too aware of their own mortality

🔥Planets in the 9th house can create a similar energy, longing for understanding the world but also being aware of your own time limits

🔥Sag and Scorpio or 9th and 8th planets in a chart can make someone think a lot about life, death, and everything in between

🔥Leo placements aren’t as loving as people think, they’re not the same as a sign like Libra that likes everyone. Leos have strong values and they don’t just like anyone, but when they find the people they like it’s ride or die

🔥People with planets in the 1st house are usually really competitive even if it’s a more passive sign, they just might not be aggressive about it

🔥People with mars/planets in the 1st house, with other personal planets in 12th, can make them interested in the military/war amongst other mars/Aries themes

🔥Leo moons are more outgoing than Leo suns

🔥I feel like I’ve noticed that when the sun is in leo, is when leo is the most versatile. Depending on the houses and other planets, leo suns can actually be very introverted

🔥This one might be too specific but people with a lot of aries and sag in their chart and no Leo might struggle to keep long term close friends because they are excitable, chase thrills and just get bored easily, they don’t cut people out of their lives necessarily. They can still keep a long term friendship with them but the level of closeness might be hard to maintain, they might constantly make new friends because the exciting part is first meeting people

🔥A passive mars sign in the 5th house can make that person more likely to make the first move or pursue people

🔥Leo and Scorpio in big 6 makes someone very alluring to other people, but also someone that has a lot going on inside. These people have very sharp intellect and senses and deep thoughts. These people are also highly compassionate

🔥Leo placements are really into aesthetics

🔥Fire placements will almost always take on “provider”, “protector”, “care taker” roles even if they like the idea of the reverse

🔥I’ve caught quite a few leo mercuries in lies, sometimes it can be big lies or even random little lies, it could be because they just want to leave an outstanding impression or tell an impressive story, they’ll say anything just to get a reaction or create a big picture

🔥Fire placements in air houses is like fanning a fire, it makes the energy bigger and it’s harder to concentrate their attention but they have many areas they can direct it in

🔥Fire placements in water houses add to their emotions, they’re more sensitive but it does water down their short temper. They’re still expressive but they feel very deeply and the deeper parts of their thoughts and emotions stay protected

🔥Fire placements in earth houses is like suffocating a fire. Not in a negative way, but in a controlled and focused way. It gives them practicality and goals. More patience, less outbursts, but it can be restrictive and they might be more prone to destructive breakdowns instead of quick outbursts

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

[pyroclastic727]

Owl House said fuck capitalism

So this episode was interesting. Lilith pretty much killed her sister. Why the fuck would she do that?

Even more interesting: why is Belos like that? How did Hooty put his head through one of those guards? Who the fuck is the Titan, and why does everyone like him? And how are these all tied together?

This episode was a metaphor for capitalism

...and another delicious step towards radicalizing the youth into dismantling this fucked-up neo-feudal system.

We’ll start with Belos. 

Emperor Belos is a weird name, don’t you think? We all thought it was spelled “Bellows,” but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s five letters, starts with Be, ends with os, and describes a megalomaniac emperor that restricts people’s freedom in order to accumulate wealth for himself.

Sound familiar?

Emperor Bezos Belos created capitalism. He saw the beauty of magic and decided to make himself the most powerful.

Belos created a system that destroys the masses and boosts his power.

 I’m dipping into fan theory a little, because the fan theory fits. We know that people get branded with coven magic that makes it so they can only specialize in one area. We know that Belos is the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles. We know that the excess magic, magic created by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

It’s the same system that many viewers see all the time. A job takes up all your day and tires you for the night, so you can only do one skill for the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos is the most powerful man in the United States. Excess money, money taken by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

The magic goes to Belos, like how the money goes to Bezos. Belos created capitalism, and he won it.

The guards aren’t real. 

Look, we’ve never seen their faces. They’re all the same. Why would you work so hard to get to the top, just to become a nameless, faceless killing machine?

Oh, also Hooty stuck his face through one. There is nothing under the armor.

Why? Well, it’s the same reason you see all those celebrities going around flaunting their wealth and bragging about how hard they worked. Like all those songs about how they grind every day and work harder than everyone else while you’re out clubbing, and that makes them dope. And then you take a closer look at them and see that they had a small loan of a million dollars fueling them, or an entire talent agency behind them, or their dad was a famous country star in the 80′s. 

They’re fake. They’re hollow. They’re a ploy created by the capitalist emperor to try to delude you into working harder. 

Let me put this into perspective. I guarantee that every single one of you has heard stuff like this: “Hard work makes you successful.” “I put in the work, and that’s why I’m successful.” “If you work hard enough, then you can be as successful as Mark Zuckerberg.” 

And unless you’re a robot or really lucky, I’m sure all of you have failed at this. Maybe they told you that hard work would make you good at math, so you spent 22 hours a week working on calculus, only to pass it by 3 percentage points and have it destroy your perfect 4.0 GPA. Maybe they told you that if you talked to people enough, then you would make friends, so you spent a lot of time talking to people, only to end up lonely and friendless. Maybe they told you that if you did well in school, you would get a good job, so you spent all your time working hard to be a good student, and then ended up in a soulless, dead-end job.

The guards are there to delude you. Look, who really gains from you being productive? The answer is the ruling class, the CEOs, the government, the bourgeoisie. It has always been that. All you get from working is a paycheck that lets you survive. They get a paycheck that lets them get rich. Just like Belos gets the magic and productivity of the specialized coven witches.

The guards are there to trick you. The truth is that nobody can join the Emperor’s Coven. It’s just there to make you think that hard work will make you successful. Then you spend your entire life working hard, trying to prove to the person in charge that you’re worthwhile. You give your whole life to the Coven, and they give you nothing. 

Magic is supposed to be something you pursue for fun. Being skilled at things, being good at something beautiful...that’s supposed to be something you do because you want to. But they took that and made it into a source of productivity. It doesn’t matter if you make good content. All people fucking care about is if you upload the day of premiere, if you make a lot of content quickly, if you maintain a million different conversations with strangers who expect you to be the most interesting person in the room. They don’t care how it hurts you. They don’t care how you crack from the stress. How you cry when you think no one can see you, and then you check your phone and someone can see you, someone did see you, and you have to put on your face and be the charming, magnetic person they want you to be. (oh by the way that’s why I wasn’t online much last week)

And it ruins it. Suddenly you can’t watch The Owl House without being stressed. You can’t make any content. You can’t make spells as powerfully as you want to. Your passion is replaced by perfectionism and insecurity, a voice telling you to keep being the best at what you do, or else they’ll forget you and let you die.

There’s also the Titan. 

So nobody has mentioned him before, because in addition to the Boiling Isles being a hellscape full of witchcraft and queerness, it’s also full of atheists. 

But suddenly we have people saying all this shit about him? Shit like, he gave witches the gift of magic, and then they learned to use it in a civilized manner, since being uncivilized was disrespectful?

I mean, first off, that’s fucking wrong. The island gives people magic. The island, which just so happened to be shaped like a titan-sized human. But the island/titan gives everyone all types of magic. Hell, even Luz gets to use magic, and she’s human. 

It sounds really fucking familiar. (tw for discussion of homophobia and colonialism and misogyny). It sounds like when the news is on and they show some Tr*mp supporter talking about how fetuses have more rights than people and it is their holy duty to take away a woman’s control over her body and force her through unbearable pain and into an 18-year commitment she didn’t want to make. It sounds like all the times people tried to say homosexuality should be illegal, citing a single line in a book written two thousand years ago and heavily edited by a European king. It sounds like all the times people said God wanted them to conquer, to own the entire earth, to force the other races into pain to support them.

This is that bullshit thing people do where they commit awful sins and justify it by citing the will of God. 

Or, it’s the Coven using religion as an excuse for evil.

Look, the Emperor’s Coven is clearly colonizer-coded. Saying that people’s original form of magic was wild (and showing a picture with the same joyous, rowdy energy of an 18th or 19th -century Black or indigenous party), and that it was God’s will for them to be “civilized?” Sounds like that thing that powerful white people did where they went and murdered people and forced them into their twisted capitalist system. God, gold, and glory, is what they said, because history books just love to omit the gore.

Lilith is passing the abuse cycle along. 

You know, like a good little colonizer. God I fucking hate her. She’s a MILF, in the sense that she’s a Mother I’d Like to Fling off a cliff. 

Ah, enough screaming about how much I want to drown Lilith in a tub of Hooty’s mucus. Let’s go into why I want to do that, and how she took the evils of capitalism and just...adopted those.

So, Lilith is sick and twisted for what she did to her sister. But, uhh, that’s the point. You see, there are so many other people out there like Lilith who would do the exact same thing, if given the chance. These are the people who do mean things when the teacher isn’t looking, and then act nice and try to frame you. These are the people who will hate you if you’re better than them. These are people who would do anything to bring you down, if you dare outperform them.

It’s greed, my friends. The mental illness that capitalism blesses us all with.

Lilith herself said it: she dedicated her entire life to the Coven. What she wanted was to be the best. And she almost was...except for her own sister. Someone who lived with her, annoyed her at home, bested her at school. Someone she could never beat, no matter how hard she worked. And her sister was younger than her, too! How insulting was that? Lilith wanted to be the best, and someone in her exact situation did better than her.

Lilith was insecure. And it consumed her.

But why? Why does insecurity consume her? I mean, no one can be motivated by insecurity forever. Well, not unless someone conditions it into you.

The lovely thing about the capitalist system is the morals it teaches you. Things like: “You’re only useful if you’re the best.” “Being school smart makes you smart, while being social smart or sports smart or creative smart or fandom smart is worthless.” “Your worth can be quantified by numbers and is based off arbitrary measures like your income or your grades.” Things that can and will drive us crazy if we let ourselves believe them.

And it did drive Lilith crazy. She got so twisted by a society that said being good at magic is her only worth. Look, Lilith used to be good at things, probably. She was good at sports. At times, she slips up and does an okay job of being Eda’s sister. She has a powerful presence when she’s in a room. And she’s wicked good at manipulating people. 

But that didn’t matter. Lilith bought into the lies. She let herself believe that magical skill was the only way to measure her worth. And since she needed to be the best, she hurt Eda for it.

The beautiful thing is, Eda didn’t buy that. "It’s my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it.” Is what Eda said, as she used up the last of her power, the last of her life, to save Luz. In her final moments, she proved that she’s not like them. She’s stronger than them.

None of this matters. Not magical prowess. Not the hierarchy. Not the promise of joining the Coven and having more power than anyone else.

The only thing that matters to Eda is her family. Her real family. Her Luz, King, and Hooty. And by extension, Willow, Gus, and Amity. Those are Eda’s real reason for fighting, for dying: to protect them. Look, there’s no way she would’ve come out of that fight alive. She has a family, and her love for them is stronger than greed or jealousy or capitalism. 

Lilith never understood that. She thought the water of the womb was thicker than the blood of the covenant. Or, that the water of the womb and the blood of the covenant are stronger than the bonds of found family. She thought it didn’t matter if Eda loved, her, only if the Emperor loved her. Fucking bitch.

And now, a little something to worry about, before we go. Amity Blight. The girl who wanted to join the Emperor’s Coven more than anything, who dedicated her whole life to doing well in school, to being the best, to being perfect.

And then she met Luz. She fell for Luz. Now she’s in a tricky place, where habit and conditioning want her to join the Emperor’s Coven, but her heart wants her to do the impossible and destroy capitalism.

She wasn’t in this episode. Funny that being injured and unable to work ended up saving her from watching her future mother-in-law die. So she bought some time.

But Luz’s true mom is dead. This is the second mom she has lost, and she’s only fourteen. As powerful as King and Hooty are, Luz needs Amity. Luz needs Amity to support her and help her get back her mom.

So Amity has to make a choice. Fear and insecurity, or love and a high chance of death? 

She’ll probably choose death. Because that’s the message that this family-friendly show is giving us kids. Fuck capitalism. All you need in life is to do what makes you happy and be with the ones you love.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

Yes hi, I'd love to know more about your tourettes sokka hc if you're up for it 👀 I'm starving for tourettes hcs so 👀

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!! I can talk about this SO MUCH (I will warn now, there will be some Zukka in this) okay so I guess I’ll start at the beginning...

Sokka was six when he started showing symptoms

It started with just some motor tics but everyone kind of just attributed it to this kid has a lot of energy ahhh

It became more noticeable when he kept almost killing himself with weapons because of his tics and slight carelessness

That’s one reason why he loves boomerang so much, none of the other weapons felt right to him and they would always get in the way of his tics, but he could throw boomerang and it would come back to him so he could keep throwing it and it made him feel calm

Then, Sokka started saying stuff that he didn’t mean to say, but again, everyone was just like hyper kid because it’s not like he was doing anything wrong

But they realized something was up when Sokka started yelling “FIRE NATION” without intending to and sending the whole tribe in a panic

So, Hakoda took Sokka to a nearby trustworthy Earth Kingdom village and that’s where Sokka got diagnosed with Tourette’s (and ADHD)

One of the things with Sokka is touch, like, he feels like touch is constricting and restraining sometimes. The problem is, he LOVES touch, he is a touchy person, but when someone touches him without telling him first or asking him, he doesn’t like it.

Sometimes he mentally shuts down when it happens, sometimes he tics more, the reaction depends on his anxiety levels and who touched him and when and where

The only people he gave a pass to was Kya and Katara. He didn’t even like it when Hakoda put a hand on his shoulder.

It was weird, he could feel the difference when Katara and Kya touched him compared to anyone else and he felt bad because he wanted his dad to hug him, but it felt so wrong

So, Sokka loves touch, but he likes to initiate it

So, moving forward, Sokka and Katara meet Aang, he’s the Avatar, they join and you know, there’s Aang the Avatar, Katara the Waterbender, and Sokka the guy with Tourette’s on the team

At least, that’s how they are known amongst the Fire Nation

Going undercover is so fun for Sokka, but he also has to be really conscious of what he’s doing and what he says and trying to suppress

It takes a lot out of him, but he knows he literally has to do it or he could get caught or expose them and Aang or Katara could get caught

On occasion, he has tic attacks (and for those who don’t know, they’re essentially a really bad TS day or moment where your tics are more consistent and seem to hurt more or you just have like an unending moment of tics where you just can’t stop for a little while. They are usually caused by anxiety or overstimulation or something like that, but they differ for everyone with TS)

The first time it happened in front of Aang, the sweet child panicked because he didn’t really understand what was happening and why Sokka was doing that and really what TS was

Katara is an angel, seriously. She is so sweet to Sokka when this happens and she knows exactly how to ground him and help him get through it

(Seriously, Sokka appreciates her so much. She is genuinely the one exception and anytime she wants a hug or any kind of touch she is allowed to do it)

the first time it happens in front of Toph when she joins is in Bitter Work when Sokka was in the hole

Just looking at Sokka in the whole sends my anxiety up because he literally can’t move! So like, imagine being in a hole for like five hours+ and needing to move like physically and you can feel the sensation in your body and it hurts and burns and tingles but you can’t. Sokka is not having a good time

So, Toph drags him out of the hole and is freaked out because she can’t see what’s happening and it’s scary because Sokka is making noises and hyperventilating and his heart rate is through the roof and Aang ran to get Katara and she can’t touch him because when she pulled him out of the hole he shrieked

She’s cool with it after that, she doesn’t think of him any less or anything, but it terrified her the first time because no one told her he had TS because they forgot to mention it and she couldn’t see what was happening

We all know that Sokka loves Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors with his whole entire heart and once they kicked his butt and helped him learn that sexism is bad, they were so fun to work with?? They taught him their style, obviously, but they also helped him incorporate his TS into it and how to use it to his advantage, something he had been struggling with his whole life

One of the things Sokka loved most about Yue is that she never even mentioned his sounds or movements she just let him do it without questioning him and that doesn’t happen a lot

I feel like Sokka having TS would make his time with Piandao even kore meaningful because he really struggles to keep his hands still so sword fighting does not come naturally to him

Piandao loves it though because it just makes Sokka even more clever and resourceful and he takes his time with Sokka, helping him as much as he can and never getting angry or anything when he can’t stand still

He also added more to what Sokka learned from the Kyoshi Warriors about incorporating his TS into his fighting and using it to his advantage

Not only was his sword an extension of his arm, but his TS was an extension as well

Did Toph and Aang help Sokka incorporate his tics into their scams? Yes, yes they did

Zuko joining the team was weird for Sokka because they kind of just clicked and he realized that they both have a weird thing with touch

On the balloon to Boiling Rock, Sokka is just comfortable around Zuko and his tics are like “cool yeah, have a break” and so he doesn’t tic and Zuko just “why aren’t you ticcing?”

and Sokka is ??? “Huh?”

and Zuko “You usually tic but you aren’t now. Why?”

and Sokka essentially explains that TS is weird and random and sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t, but he’s really comfortable and calm so his body is like “ye, let’s chill for now”

and Zuko is like “oh. that’s good. I kinda miss it though”

and Sokka d i e s because what?? Someone likes his tics enough to miss them? Like, they don’t annoy Zuko and he doesn’t tune them out?

and the bender goes on to explain that he likes the noises, they remind him that he is doing the right thing and that he’s here and he didn’t hurt team Avatar and they’re just comfortable / pleasing to the ear

and Sokka DIES

but then Zuko is like mmm maybe you should stay in the balloon and I’ll go to Boiling Rock and Sokka got pissed because he thinks Zuko said it because he’s a nonbender and he starts panicking and ticcing and Zuko panics and kind of just grabs his hand and Sokka... Sokka doesn’t hate it? Like, it feels nice and doesn’t agitate him?

but Zuko was like no I mean because everyone in the Fire Nation guard knows about the guy on team Avatar with TS and I don’t want you to get hurt

At one point in the prison courtyard, Sokka verbally tics really loudly about the moon and some guards hear and head to where they are so Zuko covers for him by screaming about how much he loves the moon

One of the worst moments in Sokka’s life was when Toph was falling and he grabbed her, but he wanted to tic and he knew that if he did, Toph would fall and die and he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t

(he still has nightmares about it happening)

when Sokka becomes an ambassador, some people are pissed because well 1) Watertribe 2) he’s a child 3) they suck 4) they think he’s distracting with his tics and Zuko is not here for it so he will destroy them

Like one time (after they started dating) Zuko overheard some councilors mocking Sokka’s tics and he got PISSED like so pissed and he went off and the found Sokka and hugged him because he is allowed to

oh! Sokka and Zuko’s thing is like hand-holding okay? They both kind of hate it because weird touch stuff, but it’s okay when they do it to each other?? Like, it feels right and like they’re completed and whole and it’s nice

before they start dating, they kind of do it a lot. Like, night before Zuko’s coronation, Sokka finds Zuko and he’s freaking out because what if he ends up like his dad and Sokka kind of just... grabs his hand and they sit there

Sokka is panicking because chronic pain and the cold of home makes it worse and Zuko finds him crying in the library and just... holds his hand

Zuko keeps little things on him all the time like paperclips and paper and writing utensils and things that click and buttons and stuff so if Sokka looks stressed during a meeting he can slip something under the table to him so he can play with it

Sokka also draws a lot during meetings, like, he doesn’t look at anyone throughout the whole meeting, even when he talks. He is able to focus more and pay more attention when he is doing something with his hands so he draws and doodles and sometimes takes notes

Sometimes he just writes the same word or sentence over and over again throughout the whole meeting

Sokka has sensory issues and a lot of noise stresses him out

It’s kind of the opposite of Zuko’s sensory issues? Like, Zuko doesn’t like loud noises and Sokka doesn’t like kind of static-y noises, like... when things sound muffled or muted or people are talking kind of quietly over each other

(Zuko definitely gives Sokka massages when his tics hurt a lot)

Random, but after awhile “yip yip” became a verbal tic of Sokka’s. Sometimes, he would say “you need to yip yip” and then he’d apologize to Appa and tell him that he’s yipping just fine

Toph is kind of like Zuko in how she likes Sokka’s verbal tics

She can’t see-see, but hearing his tics is nice sometimes, especially when she worries

She likes falling asleep to some of his tics

Even though Katara and Zuko are allowed to touch him whenever they want, more often than not they ask first because friendship is magic

Suki is lovely, okay? Like, just her presence is enough to make him feel better and she approaches helping him in a different way, she just talks to him and asks him questions to help him take his mind off of it

Sokka really doesn’t hate his TS, like, yeah, sometimes it pisses him off more than he can even explain, but it’s a part of him and as much as he cherishes when he can sit still, it’s wrong, it’s not him? He sits weirdly in chairs and changes his position every two minutes, he rocks his legs in his sleep, he sometimes even finds his own tics grounding...

Over time and with help from his friends, he learned to not be ashamed and that having TS didn’t make him ant less of a warrior

also, he, Toph, and Zuko are the disabled club✌🏻(and it makes them feel better sometimes in their own little way)

I have a lot more I could say but this is already pretty long, so I’ll end this sweet with Katara is amazing and Sokka’s relationship with her is wonderful and she knows how to help him with his tics in the way that Zuko does and can help center him like no one else and Sokka just loves her so much

Okay! Ah! That was kind of a lot but I hope you like them! Anyone can feel free to add more to this or lemme know if you have any ideas!

Thank you for the ask! I enjoyed writing these:)

[aggressive-positivity-network]

do any of the mercs play board games?

Mercopoly (Board Game

Headcanons)

Scout:

You think he has enough of an attention span to play something that doesn’t involve sweating out his energy drinks?

Hell no!

He gets very bored very quickly, especially with something complex like chess.

He’ll play cards sometimes, but only Crazy Eights and Go Fish - that’s all he knows how to play.

However, there is one true board game he plays occasionally: Candy Land.

It’s one of the few board games that you don’t really have to read the rules for, and there isn’t any writing on the cards.

However, he only asks to play it when he’s not feeling very well.

Medic even has a page in his medical journal for the mercs that says, and I quote:

“The Scout has an extremely short attention span, and if an activity isn’t active or immersive, he will not stay long. If at any point he chooses a sedentary activity, a check-up is in order.”

As sad as it is, a request to play Candyland is a good way to know if Scout needs a little extra reassurance or support.

By the end of the game, Scout usually feels more himself, whether he wins or not.

Engie is especially good with Scout when he’s this way, being the one of the most emotionally sensitive of the group. But he also knows Scout would never admit straight-away how he was feeling, so he usually has a more fun way of getting answers.

“You feelin’ more like a King Candy or a Lord Licorice?”

“...Fudge Monster.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah...”

Spy:

If you ask him, he will most likely go off on a tangent about chess, and how it’s a game of strategy, deception, and crushing your enemy with your wit.

He scoffs at any other game, and constantly makes fun of several of his more intelligent peers for finding interest in them.

“You are mercenaries. Blood-thirsty killers of men. And you are playing ‘Hungry, Hungry Hippos’ like a hoarde of kindergartners?”

But one thing he cannot resist is Sorry.

He considers it above normal board games because it has strategy - or at least that what he says.

He actually just likes it because it’s a game of revenge, which is like a drug to him.

He’s gotten so good at it that if he asks you to play Sorry with him, it’s almost guaranteed that he’s mad at you and just wants to let off some steam by giving you a horrendous loss. However, occasionally, he’s the one who loses.

Spy isn’t a poor sport, exactly - he’s too cultured for that - but sometimes his pride outweighs his manners and he convinces himself that the other player cheated through made up signs of deception.

He simply “allows” them to win because he “doesn’t want to make a fuss.”

But god help the unfortunate soul who decides to rub their win in his face.

Sniper had won five games in a row, and it was clear Spy was getting hot under the collar.

Sniper ended their games with a mischievous, “You’ll get ‘em next time, tiger.” and a small pat on his shoulder.

Spy immediately saw red, grabbed Sniper’s hand, and before the aussie knew it, he was against a concrete wall with a butterfly knife to his throat.

“I could kill you right now. Your final cry for Medic will be drowned in blood, and I would leave you here to die a painful, dramatic death. You’ll be replaced with a rusted trash can of a bot until they could grow another clone of you. Every memory will be gone. The team will be shrouded in grief, not because of losing you, but losing what the clone can never have. And I shall bide my time, ask the clone to play the same game, and kill them when they win. Another clone, another kill. And again. And again. And again. You think the Manns give a damn as long as their work is getting done? You will never be able to form a single thought before I spill your blood - caught in an eternal prisoner’s dilemma where you always lose.”

After gathering his bearings, Sniper finally spoke.

“Is this about your takeout?”

Spy scoffed.

“Do you really think - !”

“Tonight, my treat if you don’t kill me.”

Spy squinted.

“Egg rolls?”

“And an extra order of crab rangoon.”

“Your treat?”

“Yep.”

“How do I know you won’t poison me?”

“Chemical test before and after the food arrives.”

“How do I know Medic isn’t in on it?”

“Miss Pauling as a witness and Scout as an overseer. Pauling’s main objective is to keep us alive, and Scout can’t do bloody anything subtle, even if he wanted to. You can also play back the cameras in the lab, if the mood really struck ya.”

Spy held Sniper against the wall for a minute or two while he thought it all over, then let Sniper fall to the ground.

“I don’t need your sympathy, bushman. But you had better keep your end of the deal. I am the only backstabber around here.”

Demo:

Can’t even stay awake long enough to play most board games.

On the rare chance that he’s sober, he, Engie, and Medic like to play Monopoly.

Here’s the thing: you should never ask a drunkard, an engineer, and a sadist genius to play Monopoly together. It will not end well.

They have been playing the same game for years, with new rules in place and physical extensions to the board in order to try and end the game. Every other Friday, they take the weekend to try and finish it.

However, it all ends up fruitless.

Demo is usually the one keeping the peace, since he is the least competitive out of the three. That isn’t to say he isn’t clawing for the win as much as the other two, but he is definitely the least invested. He’s mostly staying out of principle.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, ‘s ta ne’er give up, e’en when the goin’s gettin’ tough. Roll the dice, doc.”

Despite his confidence, he’s not even sure what he would do if he or anyone else won. It would seem more like a relief than a celebration.

Medic:

He’s the one who started the Eternal Monopoly game, which has led to some theories that the game itself came straight from hell, and is one of the many punishments used on sinners. The box does smell a bit of brimstone…

He seems to enjoy the chaos that each round brings and the challenge of coming up with new rules to the game. To any outsider, his commentary and directions are complete nonsense.

“According to zhe ‘Calvinball Rule,’ as stated by Engineer, and the ‘Double Kill,’ as stated by myself, since the current time ends vis a three and ve all received at least two kills zhis veek, ve need to double every other roll and whomever loses zhe resulting game of ‘Bim Bum’ vill have to go to zhe Purple Jail.”

The rules and mechanics are like an unholy amalgamation of Monpoly, Sorry, chess, D&D, Bluff, and poker.

However, when Medic isn’t stapling pages of rules together, he likes to play a nice, relaxing game of checkers with Heavy.

Both of them are excellent checker players, but neither of them care who wins.

In fact, they usually talk over the game, taking the other player’s pieces as one of them shares a story from that day’s battle.

They’ve even played while Heavy was in surgery - leading to many unfortunate times when Medic had to fish a piece out of Heavy’s intestines.

One would think that a genius doctor would also have a passion for chess, but he expresses his disdain for it almost every time the checker board is brought out.

“Ach, people think chess is such an intelligent sport. Let me tell you, liebling, it is terribly overrated. If zhe devil can play chess, anyvun can. He might as vell just give souls avay, vis those shaky claws of his.”

Engineer:

Being the engineer, he is usually the one to add to the Eternal Monopoly.

Pieces, board extensions, cards, trivia - it gives him a nice break from all the weaponry.

He’s usually the one who remembers all the mechanics and rules, and serves as the judge if rules contradict each other.

“Alright, now let’s see here…we’ve got the Infinity Loop over here, but now you’ve got the Time Travel card…how many years? Infinite? Ho boy…looks like I’m gonna have to add a Hilbert’s Hotel square somewhere. Hold on…”

Despite his affinity for Eternal Monopoly, Engineer will play almost any board game. He learns new rules and figures quickly, and enjoys the challenges that brings.

However, if he’s particularly burnt out, he likes to take a break by playing Jenga. He and Spy have a friendly rivalry, since Engie can tell which blocks are supporting and Spy has quick fingers.

Spy, oddly, is a lot more amiable losing in Jenga - he knows Engie won’t think less of him - but Engineer hates when the bricks fall over. Not because it means he lost, but because, to him, it’s a failure on his part…even if it was someone else that knocked it over.

He’s made several blueprints for the perfect Jenga game, but has concluded that no human hand could put it into practice.

During one particularly bad day, Engie bumped the table, causing the whole column to come crashing down. Spy had already recovered from the noise, but Engie was still standing there, stone-faced.

His eyes were covered by his goggles, but it was clear he was crying.

Several of his machines had broken on the job, and to him, this was just another egregious mistake.

Spy carefully put the blocks back in the container, and Engie came to his senses.

“I’m real sorry, Spy. Maybe another time…?”

Spy only nodded. He was thinking.

The next time they played, Spy brought out a different container.

Instead of wood, the bricks seemed to be made of a sturdy foam.

“They fall a bit more…quietly,” Spy explained. He dropped one, and it only made a small bouncing sound. “Pyro uses these, but they allowed me to borrow it.”

Engie was a bit skeptical at first, since it was a new material, but he got the hang of it rather quickly. He was almost ecstatic the first time it fell - the blocks barely made any sound at all!

After a few games, Spy had to leave for an assignment. Engie put a hand on their arm.

“Thank ya, Spy. Maybe you ain’t the cold-blooded backstabber I thought you were.”

Spy chuckled, but said little else. He didn’t want to admit that noise sensitivity plagued him as well.

Pyro:

Pyro loves board games, and has quite the collection in their room.

Each plastic piece is at least a little melted, and all the boxes have two or three scorch marks.

Hungry Hungry Hippos, Candyland, and Uno are among her favorites.

He is an absolute beast at Uno, though.

They take each game very seriously, especially when they can convince the whole team to play.

As you can imagine, it’s pure chaos - it even led to a rule in the Merc Guidebook: “When playing Uno with three or more players with the inclusion of a Pyro, at least one Mann Co. representative and/or a mediating Medic must be present.”

Pyro has been known the hide cards, bribe players, or even try to set flame to competition. Playing Uno is almost like a mission, with weapon preparation and Spy posing as other players.

The mercs even have a betting stand that Sniper runs. All parties have lost a lot of money that way.

It’s pretty much the only time outside of battle that the team remembers how cruel and malicious Pyro can be.

Sniper:

Conventional board games aren’t exactly his forté, but he does enjoy a bit of cards every once in a while - Solitaire being his favorite.

He even has a pack of cards in his Sniper Square for that exact purpose. It allows him the pass the time without having to look away from his targets too often.

On occasion, he could be pressed to play poker, but only if the stakes weren’t monetary (i.e candy pieces, crackers, duties, etc.).

His favorite part of every match is shuffling the cards. Pretty much every merc could shuffle cards, but Sniper could make them almost float with how quick his fingers and wrists moved. He always began the game with a new trick he learned, which delighted his fellow players (usually Spy, Engineer, Medic, and Demo).

You could always tell if he had a busy day because he would avoid tricks with too much movement, which would be murder on his sore fingers and hands.

Pyro is currently learning card tricks from Sniper, and show off what they learn at the beginning of every Uno game.

Heavy:

He isn’t a huge fan of the bright, plastic-y board games that Pyro has, although he will play them if asked.

It’s mostly because of how complicated the rules are and the fact there are almost never a Russian translation for the directions.

He always prefers checkers, cards, or mancala, which he almost exclusively plays with Medic because he’s the only one who speaks fluent Russian.

Heavy can play a mean game of mancala, though, and it’s the only game he can beat Medic at.

Soldier:

The only games he will play are Battleship and Uno - but only after Miss Pauling convinced him it was “American enough” because the game had red, white, and blue cards.

He prefers the electronic Battleship because of the sound effects and voices. However, if it’s out of batteries, he’ll make his own sound effects.

Miss Pauling is the best at pretending to be a commander, so she’s usually the one playing with him - but, sometimes, Demo gets in on the action, too.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

um

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit

[woniepop]

TYPES OF DATES ENHYPEN WOULD TAKE YOU ON!

Pairings: Enhypen x Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: cursing and mentions of alcohol if you squint

Word Count: about 300 - 400 per member

a/n: this is my first enhypen work if it sucks pls tell me LOL I ALSO LEFT HEESUNGS ON A SAD NOTE OOPS. Also I wrote some of this at 2 am and it is raining so hard. I live in SoCal and I feel like I can’t function when it rains so I had to blast music in my headphones but it’s okay Iz*one’s Fiesta is top tier. I did not mean for it to turn out this long lol.

༑ ࿐ྂ。Lee Heesung

- Karaoke

Sitting on the couch of the private karaoke room, exhausted having just sung and danced all of I Can’t Stop Me, Heesung reaches out to take some of the kimbap you had made together before karaoke happened, kind of like two dates in one day. Since he was always busy, he wanted to spend the most amount of time he could with you this weekend, in case he couldn’t meet you the next. Heesung always did a great job of making you feel loved and appreciated, and today he especially wanted to give all his love and attention to you.

“We should rap all of Canceled in one breathe” Heesung suggests, knowing it was a whole three minute song. Although you know you’d die, you nod excitedly, ready to shout at the top of your lungs “THIS YOU?” because Tana definitely gets canceled every 5-7 business days. He starts off the song, both screaming at the top of your lungs, starting off with Bryce Hall 😼. The song goes very swimmingly actually, definitely taking more than one or two breathes.

Taking a call from your phone, you step outside so as to not disturb the caller with Shake it Off. Your mother wanted you home soon, but you desperately wanted to spend more time with Heesung. Stepping back into the room, you decide one more song is short enough to catch the last train home, you grab the remote and pick your last song, Perfect. It was definitely slower paced than the songs you had sang before but you wanted to have at least one moment of romance before it’s completely dead. Taking your hands, he wraps them around his neck and places his hands on your hips and sways side to side as he sings every word beautifully. Even if you could sing as good as him, he was always so hypnotizing when he sang to you. Ending the song with a kiss, you guys both pull away, very sad at the fact that the night has come to an end.

THE REST ARE UNDER THE CUT!!

༑ ࿐ྂ。Jay Park

- Aquarium

- Aquarium

Walking through the hallways hand in hand, you enjoy each other’s presence while admiring all the children excited about the stingray that just swam by. Watching Jay’s face light up when he had finally found the sea otters, you giggle at how cute it was. “Look at all the baby sea otters, Y/n, they’re so cute ahhhh'' He says eagerly. Pulling out your phone to take a picture of him, he grabs your hand and takes your phone. “No, Y/n, we have to take this picture togetherrrr.” he whines. Sighing, you agree and wait for him to find someone to help take the picture for him, obviously right next to the sea otters. 

Continuing down the aquarium building, you find the automatic sliding door leading to the outside. Knowing exactly what lies beyond those doors, you pull Jay’s hand and rush out. As a kid, you loved coming to the aquarium to spend time at the petting tank, and now you got to experience it with Jay. Finding a spot at the tank, you dip your hand in and touch the bamboo sharks. You sigh in relief at the nostalgia of it, and turn your head to Jay. “Don’t you want to touch them too?” You ask innocently. Faced flushed, he frantically shakes his head, giving you a blatant no.

Laying your head on his shoulder, you bask in his presence, exhausted by the exciting day you had. Turning on his phone to check the time, you notice he’d set his lockscreen to you. “Did you take that while I was petting the sharks?” Embarrassed, he turns away and avoids the question. “HEY, I could take a picture of you alone for my wallpaper but you could??? Why is this so unfair???” you ask. 

“Because…” He says with a sheepish smile on his face. You quickly take out your phone and snap a picture. After a moment of playful fighting and begging to delete the photo on Jay’s end, he ultimately gave up and let you save it as your lock screen as well.

༑ ࿐ྂ。Jake Sim

- Laser tag

Having Jake as a partner, he’d always taken you on more high energy, adrenaline rushing dates, and today was no different. This date, however, he decided to take you to play laser tag, something you had never done before. Entering the lobby, you both decide to be on the same team for the first round, which helped you feel a bit of relief. Choosing a vest to put on, you get very very tangled in it, which causes Jake to laugh a bit but he eventually helps you out.

During your first round, Jake helps you out, staying by your side the entire time and even holding your hand to lead you through the room. It felt really nice, seeing him so protective of you in the moment, but you knew better than to like the thought of it too much, because the next round was going to be a lot different. Unexpectedly, your team lost, which made Jake feel even more competitive and pumped up for the next round.

The next round starts, and surprise!!!!! You and Jake are on opposing teams. It starts off very well actually :D. As soon as you enter the room, your heart starts beating out of your chest and you’re so nervous to be alone. Cautiously maneuvering through the hallways, you scan the premises thoroughly, knowing if Jake ever sees you throughout the game you’d be screwed. Surprisingly enough, you go a bit of time before you hear your vest’s alarm go off, signalling to you that someone has gotten you. You look all around you taking some time before finding Jake crouching on the other side of the wall. You run to the other side of the same wall, and decide to scare him before he could shoot you again. It works out very well, because the next time you see him, he screams and drops to the floor in shock. Taking this chance, you shoot his vest and run away, leaving him no time to get you back.

༑ ࿐ྂ。Park Sunghoon

- Birthday Party

Laying on the floor of your living room with Sunghoon, you lie on your back, trying to cool your body down as much as possible. The hot and humid Korean summers were definitely always fun, but not when you were craving cuddles. Thinking of activities the both of you could do without overheating, you think back to how refreshing all the ice cream was at your friend’s recent birthday party. Although it wasn’t even close to your guys’ birthdays, it gave you a great idea. You shoot up and rush to get dressed, leaving Sunghoon very confused. 

Finished, you come back to the living room. “Sunghoon, get dressed. We’re going to the market.” Without question, he does as you ask and you both head to the market in no time. 

Walking hand in hand down the ice cream aisle, you grab all the flavors you enjoy, filling your whole basket with different ice creams, toppings, fruit, drinks, and even a cake. “You’re quite hungry, aren’t you?” Sunghoon teases, earning him a slap to the arm.

As soon as you get home, you send Sunghoon alone to the bedroom, telling him you need time to prepare everything. You had pulled all the stops, whipping out the cheap snoopy shaved ice maker, birthday party hats, streamers, balloons, and banners. It was no one’s birthday in particular, but the fake birthday party put you in a festive and refreshing mood. You had set up a giant ice cream sundae bar, and had even made lemonade. 

Calling Sunghoon to come out of the bedroom, he was not surprised but very appreciative. He knew you’d pull sh!t like this Wanting to make it even more fun, he suggests to make sundaes for one another, which you happily agree to. The day was so fun, you had forgotten all about the time you had a few hours earlier, suffering in the heat of your apartment. 

Sunghoon on the other hand, was so happy that you planned something like this. He was never one to do anything cute for you unless you asked, begged so this time he wanted to show you how grateful he was to you by giving you one FREE boop on the nose. Scooping some ice cream with his fingertip, he lightly taps your nose, leaving the melted strawberry ice cream to drip off your nose.

༑ ࿐ྂ。Kim Sunoo

- Brunch

Being a foodie yourself, you and Sunoo would always go cafe hopping to try out different desserts and drinks. This Saturday morning in particular, you both decided it was time for a change. This change for the greater good would include brunching for hours like stuck up rich moms and judging everyone in the facility, as you do when you are a brunching mother. Dressing in your finest brunching attire and of course, sunglasses, your waiter leads you to the table and you strut down that walkway like you know the difference between regular and Belgian waffles.

Crossing your legs at the same time and sipping your orange juice, wishing you could have added some champagne. Your orders finally arrive, having ordered the classic avocado toast and eggs benedict. Starting with the avocado toast, as per tradition, you and Sunoo construct the perfect first bite, shove it into your mouths, make eye contact and a disgusted face, even though it was very obvious that you guys thought it was delicious.

“I feel they nailed the seasoning because avocado, egg, and bread are known to be very bland flavors. The poached egg was perfectly runny in the middle, which was so satisfying to me, especially knowing that the chef can actually cook an egg right.” You start off, pretending you were some high status food critic, above Gordon Ramsey almost.

Sunoo takes his spoon and splits apart the poached egg on the eggs benedict. The egg just so happened to be a tad bit overcooked and the yolk didn’t rush out as smoothly as the other one did. You make eye contact with Sunoo, the most disgusted look plastered on your faces. A couple seconds pass by and you burst out laughing, forgetting about the egg yolk and shoving a huge bite straight into your face.

༑ ࿐ྂ。Yang Jungwon

- Zoo

When you first suggested going to the zoo with Jungwon he looked at you with a confused face. He loved spending time with you, but why the zoo? It’s stinky and there are too many children everywhere. Nevertheless, after much convincing, he gave in and went with you. The screams of all the tiny children were giving him a headache, but he kept reminding himself he was here for you. Seeing the alligators first, it was definitely acting up and snapping its mouth very angrily and hissing. Just because he wanted to be nice by coming to the zoo with you, didn’t mean he was going to hold back on his snide remarks. 

“That’s you that one time I accidentally ate your pastry.” He comments. Rolling your eyes and smacking him in the arm, you continue on the path looking at all the animals in awe. The whole time you walked around you bickered back and forth, many “That’s you when/cause”s being thrown around mercilessly. 

The comment that took the cake and left both of you speechless was one made by you. Walking towards the flamingos, everyone knows them for being notoriously stinky. Pinching your nose to go with the comment you were about to say, you chuckle. “It smells like that one time you accidentally farted in your VLive.” you manage to get out with a straight face. I made that up lol

Jungwon stops in his tracks, looking at you like you had just betrayed him. .He stomps his feet on the floor and whines in the middle of the walkway. “Y/nnnnnn you know I’m sensitive about thatttt.” The time you spend with him after you get home consists of him clinging to you, demanding your undivided attention, cuddles and kissies, and for you to blow dry his hair after he showers. 

༑ ࿐ྂ。Nishimura Riki

- eating competition

Watching mukbangs all day and cuddling with Niki definitely got both of you hungry pretty quickly. With Niki being a bit homesick and you wanting to improve your cooking, a great idea pops into your heads. You wanted to cook Japanese food for Niki, hoping to aid his homesickness, and Niki wanted to see how much food he could shove down his face until he explodes. And with that, your whole date had become a food eating competition. 

Setting all the food down on the table, you had done a very good job. Working your ass off to make not only omurice with curry, but also yakisoba and fried chicken, you were very ready to start your whole competition. Portioning it out evenly with a scale beforehand, you and Niki countdown together and start scarfing down food like you’ve never eaten before. With a mouth full of rice, Niki manages to get out a “It’s really good.” Knowing he liked your food made you feel so proud even though you had just shoved a whole piece of fried chicken in your mouth. 

Several minutes, three enhypen members walking past you judgmentally, and 10 napkins later, you and Niki were too stuffed you even have food this close to you. Queue the rest of the enhypen members, they oh so generously gave you their service and finished the food for you guys. Concluding that you and Niki could not in fact eat two family sized meals in one sitting, you lie on the couch about to pass out. 

“That was so fun. We should do that again.” Niki says while groaning from stomach pain. “And thank you for thinking about my homesickness and making me Japanese food. I love you so much.” He adds. Ending the day with complaining about being too full, planning the next competition, and even inviting the other members, you both pass out an hour after you had eaten and were punished with the dishes in the morning for being cringely in love out in the open like that. 

[sqbr]

A lazy Dracula fancast

Inspired by discussions on tumblr and having read the first half of the book. Everyone is de-aged/resurrected from the dead as necessary, and the adaptation would naturally involve a lot of queer poly makeouts and noone I like too much would die.

Dracula: Romanian, can suddenly switch from affable to homoerotically terrifying.

Sebastian Stan. Yes, he is the only Romanian actor I've heard of (sorry Romania I'm sure the others are great too) but also he would legitimately be great at it.

Renfield: English, quietly unhinged and more threatening than he appears. Kinda like the idea of him being short.

My brain said TOM HOLLAND but Jamie Bell would probably be better. Someone like Michael Sheen with a different sort of harmless air could also work.

Johnathon Harker: English, polite, woobie with a core of hidden strength.

Dev Patel, no contest.

Mina Murray: English, competent and non-nonsense but kind and affectionate.

Hannah John-Kamen. Even though I've only seen her in Killjoys, playing a very different character, I feel like she could give off the right energy. And if the adaptation decided to go for more of a "Mina Murray, Badass Vampire Hunter" approach she could do that too :D

Lucy Westenra: English, bubbly and sweet with a sense of humour.

Carey Mulligan.

Arthur Holmwood: English, earnest, sweet, and manly.

Let's say...Daniel Radcliffe.

Jack Seward: English, kinda creepy awkward scientist.

I thought Richard E Grant was well cast in the 2008 movie, even if he was hamming it up, so let's stick with that and just direct him to tone it down a little.

Quincy P Morris: American, self aware folksiness, good naturedly pansexual.

Lil' Nas X if he was cool playing a bi dude, otherwise Owen Wilson. (This thought is what inspired the rest of the fancast)

Van Helsing: Dutch, a grandfatherly academic with a steel core.

So the obvious choice here is Rutger Hauer but he's a bit too obvious. I, uh, don't recognise any other Dutch actors, so I'm tempted to suggest Stellan Skarsgård (SORRY, I KNOW NOT ALL EUROPEAN COUNTRIES ARE THE SAME) but based purely on her imdb image I'm going to suggest Nina Foch and just genderswap the role, which could be pretty fun, have a whole Jessica Fletcher vibe. BUT WAIT now I remember my cracky Hakuoki/Dracula crossover idea where Van Helsing is actually the fake name of the heroine of Hakuoki, Chizuru, who is Japanese but grew up reading Dutch medical journals and used that knowledge to research vampires, and in one ending goes to Europe to learn more. Looking at the various actors who've played Chizuru, I like the look of Sakiho Motonishi.

Dracula's Roommates: European, sexily evil, includes a twinky dude.

I have no strong feelings but let's arbitrarily pick Eva Green, Mila Kunis, and... Timothee Chalemet? Turns out he's just an American with a French name but I can't think of anyone better, so... MAYBE HE WAS VISITING HIS FAMILY IN EUROPE AND GOT BIT, IDK. We don't know their backgrounds so they could technically be from anywhere but it felt to me like Dracula had only started expanding his reach as far as England pretty recently.

No descriptions since they are just headshots of the actors. And yes, I do need to watch more European media >.> Especially because then this might not all be skinny, able-bodied, largely white cis people. Ah well, I did say it was lazy!

[thompsonstessa-moved]

'Teraz Rock' Interview - english translation

A well know polish magazine about rock music 'Teraz Rock' (Now Rock) had an interview with Måneskin, and since one of the polish fans on FB shared pictures of the magazine, I decided to translate the interview, because I loved some of the stuff they said there! :D

As always, the whole thing is under read more. ;)

Maneskin is not only ‘Zitti e buoni’ and their winning performance in Rotterdam during the recent finale of Eurovision Song Contest. Italian band fits perfectly into the trend of rock restorers, and at the same time fights with the mental narrowness, prejudices and homophobia. On August 19th they will play In Park Kolibki In Gdynia.

I: You started by playing on the streets of Rome…

V: Unfortunately, there is not a lot of possibilities to debut in Rome. Rome is lacking the appropriate places, there are almost no rock shows. So we couldn’t find a place where we could show ourselves to the people. So we decided to play on the streets to gain the following, the listeners. We did that for good few months. And we had a lot of fun doing that. We think it really helped us, too. Because when you play on the streets, you don’t play for someone who came to listen to you. You need to attract people’s attention. So it was a great lesson on stage skills, to keep the attention. And we played many hours each day, so we also evolved as musicians, as a band.

I: Is it true that you had issues with police? V, D, T, E: Yes, that’s true!! (laugh)

D: It was all because of this old lady, that lived on the first floor, near the place where we used to play. She snitched on us! And sometimes police came and tried to get us to leave.

I: They didn’t arrest you?

D: No, it wasn’t that bad.

V: We were 16 back then. We just went all ‘We swear we won’t do it again!’ (laugh). We hid somewhere for 10 minutes….

D: Went around the block….

V: And played again (laugh).

I: You admited that at first you were shy. How did it happen that you gained so much self-confidence? Do you think one has to be self-confident if they want to show the world that they have something to say in music, in art?

V: It is important, but its more about feeling good with yourself and having fun doing what you do, rather than confronting the world. I think that if you lack confidence, you can’t fully enjoy creating, because you keep thinking ‘What the other will think about it?’. But everyone has to go through this phase. In my opinion, self-confidence is not something you’re born with. Everyone has the moments of hesitation and doubt. I have them too, still. And I think that’s perfectly normal. But you need to learn to appreciate yourself, accept yourself the way you are, because you can’t run away from yourself. We have whole life with ourselves, until the day we die (laugh).

I: Damiano, in one of the interviews you said ‘What we say, can change someone way of thinking’. Do you want to influence your audience? Artist like Chuck Berry or AC/DC just had fun on stage.

D: We also have fun on stage. But now, when we’re well known, we can get to many people, especially young ones. And there’s a chance, that if we say something positive to them, we could help them with their problems, that they can’t fight on their own. For example – like Vic said – we can help them gain more self-confidence and make them feel safer in the world around them. I’ll say this: if as a musician you have something to share with others, do it. But if you just want to have fun playing, that’s OK too.

T: Exactly.

I: Your behaviour on stage is often the reason for homophobic attacks. What would you say to homophobes here in Poland?

V: Fuck them!!!

T: Fuck them!

E: Fuck them, fuck them! (laughing)

D: Maybe not so vulgar.....

T: Fuck them!

D: For sure they should open up more, get rid of prejudices. Make a step forward. Free themselves from the old way of thinking. Let the others live however they want.

I: You debuted in 2017 with EP ‘Chosen’ with two of your own songs and few covers. Even tho you were so young, you already came off as mature musicians with a set style…

V: Thanks, but I don’t think so (laugh).

D: I don’t think we would agree with that.

E: We wouldn’t agree with that, definitely.

V: My bass playing skills definitely left much to be desired.

D: 'Chosen' definitely has its advantages, but… we were still looking for our sound back then. That EP is so much more different than our other albums. But it is a part of our career, our journey, and we don’t regret anything that has to do with it. We had a lot of fun recording it and… its something we did in the past and we’re happy that people loved it.

V: Still love it!

D: Exactly, still love it. Even tho we changed so much since then.

V: The most important and coolest thing about that EP is that even tho we were really young and our skills weren’t as good, you can still hear that we already had charisma and knew what we wanted. And even tho most of the EP consists of known songs, we changed them, played them in our own way, our own style. And that’s really cool because it shows us as a band with their own personality. Of course, now that we listen to that EP, we have lot to complain about…

D: We would do the songs much better.

V: But we like the attitude we already had back then. Even tho we were so young.

E: Our sound really changed since then, but you need to remember that when we we’re recording it, it was already a huge accomplishment for us.

D: That’s true.

I: On ‘Chosen’ Damiano sung in english. On your first album, ‘Il ballo della vita’ from 2018, you had songs in italian as well. Did your songs get more personal because of that?

D: I wouldn’t say that. We started writing songs in italian out of necessity. If you’re an Italian artist and want to reach Italian audience, you need, you have to sing in italian, because not a lot of people speak english there. Now it’s different, we managed to reach international audience, so we can make more songs in english. But we won’t resign from italian, we like to write in italian as well.

I: While recording ‘Il ballo della vita’ you made documentary ‘This Is Maneskin’…

E: They will never forget it! (laugh)

I: You can see there, that during that time you argued a lot.

D: We were young!

I: Did the conflicts threaten your band’s future?

D: No! We were just starting out...

V: Conflicts were inevitable. We were very young and suddenly tabloids were writing about us. And recording an album required a lot of work. And we never experienced that before, we had issues dealing with work in the studio. Because creating and recording together isn’t easy. You need to make many decisions, everyone has their own opinion. Now we’re more mature, we know how to deal with those situations. We can discuss with each other in a constructive way. We were much more childish back then and yeah, we fought sometimes. But even then nothing happened that could threaten our band.

I: ‘Il ballo della vita’ is a concept album of sorts. You have there Marlena, who, like you said, is personification of the concern a lot of you have – that we’re not able to be yourself…

D: The album was supposed to share a message to our fans. We wanted to tell them how important for us is the freedom to be yourself. The ability to love someone, that was chosen by our heart. Freedom to wear the clothes we like. Et cetera, et cetera… We realized that the album would speak to people more, and will be easier to understand, if we gave that idea a name. Of course it’s an idea that we still share to this day, just maybe a bit differently.

I: Your last album, ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, you recorded live in studio. Did the way you worked on it was much different from the way you recorded ‘Il ballo della vita’?

D: Oh yeah! It definitely took us less time!

V: Definitely much faster. It was very exciting. We wanted to keep in studio the energy we have when we play concerts, which meant playing together. Which is of course much more difficult than recording separately. But we told to ourselves: let it be, we should at least try. And we loved the result.

D: You know, at first you work on the material in rehearsal room. And you’re full of energy. But then you come into recording studio, where you divide the song into parts, and you loose that power, that magic. So we realized that we should change the way we work, so we could keep the emotions from rehearsals.

I: ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ is another concept album. You said its all about the rage, that plays the role of catharsis sometimes. Can you say something more about it?

V: Anger is mostly seen as something negative. And we think that classifying emotions as positive or negative is stupid. Especially in art. When you’re creating, anger can make you give more from yourself, say more. And that’s what our album is about, talking about the world of theatre. We show that something that’s seen as bad, can – especially in the world of art – become something good. And those songs, that are so full of rage, can bring relief to our listeners, which only confirms what I’m trying to say.

I: In the lyrics to 'In nome del padre’ and ‘Vent’anni’ you’re talking about mistakes you made in the past...

D: They are very different tracks, even if they seem to talk about the same topic. Vent’anni is all about our age, because we think it’s a very special moment in your life: you become an adult, but you’re still too young to be considered as such, and they don’t treat you seriously. We wanted to share that with our fans, because maybe they think the same. And In nome del padre is about the battle we had to fight, the mistakes we had to make, to get where we are today. Of course we’re still young, we still make mistakes. But I’m singing about the mistakes from the past, because they made us the way we are today. And I’m saying: don’t be afraid to make mistakes, because they are a part of your journey, your life. What’s important is how you react to those mistakes.

E: It’s not a mistake to make mistakes.

I: The next album, continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ – is it already recorded?

D: No, no.

V: Indeed, our next album will be continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, but we’re still working on it. We don’t want to record it in a hurry, we want to take our time making it.

D: We have a lot of songs already, but we want to have plenty to choose from. We want the album to have the most representative songs, the best ones.