Kara’s phone skittered across the table, and she looked away from the movie. Alex was with her on the couch and they had a box of cheap rosé and were watching Mean Girls, Alex’s pick. They hadn’t had a sisters night in ages, and Kelly had Esme with her and was visiting James for the weekend; Alex had stayed behind to keep an eye on things with J’onn and Kara.
Kara’s phone was supposed to be off, but she couldn’t help herself. Alex scowled at her as she reached for it.
“Kara,” she muttered, “you deserve a night off.”
“I have it on Do Not Disturb. It’ll only go off if it’s one of my favorites calling.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Knowing you, that’s everyone you know.
“It’s actually just you and Lena,” Kara said, absently.
Alex looked at he enigmatically. There was a knowing in her eyes that made Kara feel a little hot and a little squeezed, paranoid that Alex observed something she had not.
It was a series of texts, not a call.
Kara, can you come over?
Nvm you must be with Alex
But if you do the balcony door is open
It’s not important I just need to see you
Kara bit her lip.
“What did Lena say?”
Kara glanced up. “I didn’t say it was Lena.”
Alex stared at her, and Kara squirmed a little. There as a hint of a smile but a touch of sadness in her eyes, and she let out a little sigh.
“She said it’s not important but she needs to see me.”
Alex sighed. “You should go.”
“She said it’s not important,” said Kara.
“But she said she needs to see you. You won’t be able to relax all night until you know why. You can go. I’m going to crash here, I’m not driving. Go, Kara.”
Kara nodded and stood, wondering why her palms were sweaty. She put on her suit and stepped into the air, making a brisk but calm flight to Lena’s place, making sure not to create any sonic booms.
When she lighted on the balcony it was indeed open. Kara paused and listened, locking on the steady beat of Lena’s heart and breathing. She was in her bedroom.
Passing through the dark penthouse, Kara found Lena in the bed, curled up in a nest of blankets and pillows. She was wearing an oversized hoodie with her hands tucked up in the sleeves and had a box of tissues near her head. When she looked up, Kara realized she was wearing a battered and threadbare Midvale High Mathletes Club sweatshirt that was two sizes too big for her, because it was actually Kara’s.
Kara moved to the side of the bed. “Lena? What’s wrong?”
Lena didn’t meet her gaze. “I’m fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you at sister night.”
“You should have been at sister night.”
There as a curious look in Lena’s big, soft eyes, at once warm and heartbroken, like she’s both gained and lost in a single moment.
“I couldn’t tonight.”
Kara let her suit dissolve. She was still in her lounge clothes, a pair of baggy sweats and a button-up tank that left her arms bare. She sat down on the bed and leaned towards Lena.
“I’m okay,” Lena said.
She’d been crying, her eyes red rimmed and wet, painful tracks left by tears and her nose raw. Lena rarely let anyone see any kind of vulnerability like this.
“You don’t look okay, Miss Luthor. This looks like a job for Supergirl.”
“I don’t want Supergirl, I want Kara. Can you stay.”
Kara said, “Yes,” without hesitation, and super speed typed a text to Alex, then turned off her phone.
After a brief hesitation, Kara climbed onto Lena’s huge California King bed. There as plenty of room in the middle for them both. Lena lifted the covers and Kara settled in with her.
Carefully, she pushed the hood back, and tucked away a few stray dark curls from Lena’s eyes as she shimmied closer, curling her arm around Lena’s shoulder. Their bodies instinctively fitted together as they had many times before, Lena carefully cradled in Kara’s powerful arms. Kara could feel her quick breaths and the flutter of her heart beneath her ribs. In her embrace, Lena felt delicate and exotic, a treasure to be handled with utmost care.
“Want to talk about it?” said Kara.
“Can we stay like this for a while?”
“Yes.”
Kara wasn’t sure how long she laid there or how long Lena clung to her; she didn’t really care. Finally Lena spoke.
“This is the day my mom died.”
Kara let out of a soft “Oh,” and held her just a little tighter, carefully exacting just a touch more pressure until Lena calmed again.
“It’s normally this bad but some years it’s just too much, it’s… it hurts. Why does it hurt so much?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sometimes I still have The Dream.”
Kara tensed, not because Lena didn’t explain, but because Kara knew without being told. Kara had The Dream, too. The only dream that was a Dream, the only nightmare that you can’t wake up from because the waking is the nightmare.
Lena shook her head, and her voice broke something in Kara, shattering it into a thousand pieces that scattered on the crystal floor of the hidden places within her.
“I can’t even remember what she looked like.”
Kara ran her hand softly over Lena’s head and felt fresh tears hot on her neck.
“Lillian took everything from me. Pictures, home movies, all of it. Sometimes I can remember her singing but it’s like I can feel it more than hear it.”
“I remember,” Kara said softly, “when I started thinking in English. I had to. It was the only way I could write without messing up the grammar.”
“Do you remember Krypton?”
“Mostly. It’s hazy. Things from before my powers are like that.”
“Can you… can you tell me about it?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just… I’m trying not to think about how much I want my mom.”
Kara nodded and began telling Lena whatever popped into her head, without rhyme or reason or really meaning to go anywhere with it. She told her about Argo City and excursions to gather mineral samples, about the opera and museums and festivals, about the food and music. She told Lena what it was like to visit other worlds, to stand on the shores of lakes of molten nickel and watch a supernova unfolding.
She barely noticed when Lena fell into a light sleep, curled up in her arms. She clung to Kara, hands fisted into her back at first, then relaxing as she dozed.
Eventually, light peeked around Lena’s blackout curtains. Lena had slept through the night. Kara should probably have withdrawn or gone to make breakfast, but she stayed, enjoying Lena’s scent in Lena’s huge bed, feeling her breathing against her and just feeling this curious relief that she at least knew she was safe, truly safe.
“You’re here,” Lena murmured as she woke up.
“Of course I’m here”, said Kara.
“I like having you here,” Lena mumbled.
“I like having me here.”
Lena sighed. “Are you real? Am I dreaming this too?”
Kara snorted. “Do you dream about me a lot?”
There was a too-long pause before Lena said, “yes.”
“What kind of dreams? Am I badass in them?”
“Something like that.”
Kara smiled. “Want me to grab us breakfast?”
“No.”
Kara’s stomach rumbled, but Lena ignored it. She still had her arms around Kara’s waist and squeezed hard, pulling her close. There was desperation in it. Kara sucked in a sharp breath, even as she returned the embrace.
“Hey,” Kara said softly, “I’m right here, I’m not leaving.”
“Okay.”
Kara swallowed, hard. Lena looked up at her and Kara’s heart did a flip. She was so soft here in the morning light, vulnerable in a way that no one else ever saw. Every fiber of her being screamed at Kara to make it better, protect her, kiss her.
Wait, what?
Kara blinked. Lena was staring at her lips, pupils wide and eyes dark.
There had been a moment like this before. When Kara came back from that awful place, ripped free from its darkness, when it felt like Lena was the whole universe and Kara had been locked in by her gravity, pulled toward a singularity, yanked away from it by her fathers voice as she leaned in…
“I want you to stay,” Lena said, each word a tiny whisper puffed against Kara’s lips.
Kara kissed her.
It wasn’t a Big Damn Kiss. It wasn’t one where the camera spun and the music swelled. It was barely there at all, a faint brushing of lips, an invitation left to wait, breathless, for an answer.
When Lena kissed her back it was slow and passionate but reserved, lips pressed on lips, followed by a tiny tug on Kara’s bottom lip, the signature that competed the message.
Kara moved delicately, leaving a pause with each moment, but Lena offered only invitation.
“Is this okay?” Kara asked.
Lena grasped fistfuls of Kara’s shirt, squeezing so hard that her knuckles went white and her hands trembled.
“Please,” she whispered. “Stay.”
“I’ll never leave,” Kara whispered, sealing the promise with a kiss.
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