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emmie-tt · 9 months

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Can you write a harry potter x reader where the reader is harry gf and she got kidnapped into the malfoy Manor (in dh) and when Harry, Ron and hermione got captured there too, he finds her and he take her back to fleur and Bill cottage and he takes care of her because she got injured really bad while being there? <3 (also her having a lot of scars/marks and being insecure about them but harry will kiss them all and tell her they are perfect) and one night when she finally Trys to leave the bed (because her legs are really shaky) they go out and stay in front of the sea and they talk about their future? Sorry this is long hope you can make it <3

My Protector

Harry Potter x Reader

CW: Angst (Kinda) , Mental Problems, Mentions of blood and wounds, Mentions of Scars, Female Reader

How did you get here...As you lay on the cold hard ground of the Malfoy Manor your whole life flashes in front of your eyes. You had always been the quiet kid. Never causing drama. Never getting involved in drama. Never acting out. Hardly ever going to parties unless Harry had went with you.

Speaking of. Harry had been frantically searching for you, the moment he realized you were missing it felt like hi whole world stopped.

You didn't know that though. Not yet at least.

The lightheaded feeling began a few minutes ago. Whether it was from blood loss or dehydration was also unknown. You did know that it had been three days since you've had water and you also knew that gash in your forehead had been left unattended for quite a few hours so whichever was causing the lightheaded feeling was anyone's guess.

You heard a gasp from Luna Lovegood who was also being held captive but instead of reacting you ignored it choosing to focus on not passing out and praying to Godricks that someone helped and got you out of here...

The feeling of someones hands on your face brought you out of your haze and suddenly a fuzzy yet familiar voice was cutting through the silence

"Y/n...Y/n can you hear me?"

As your vision comes into focus your eyes widen as you realize who was knelt next to you.

"Harry..." you mumble as you weakly reach up and cup his face

He smiles weakly back, seeing you in so much pain and honestly so close to death...

"Hi sweetheart...I'm gonna get you out of here okay? Get you some help, alright?"

you nod slight and he slides one arm under your knees and the other under your upper torso. Picking you up bridal style he quickly makes his way out the things he noticed about the woman he loved more than anything was how much weight you had loss, the blood dripping down his arm from your forehead and that dazed almost lifeless look in your eyes.

He picks up the pace in his steps and as soon as the coast was clear he held you closer and floo you both off to the cottage.

------ At The Cottage ------

Harry quickly sat you down on the couch, the dizziness had took over and you had loss consciousness a few minutes prior. Molly gasps as she rushes over and helps Harry lay you on the couch.

She asses the wound on your head before quickly jumping into action and cleaning then stitching the rather deep wound

Harry stood at the end of the couch the whole time. His eyes never once leaving you as he watched Molly clean the wound and stitch you up.

He felt completely guilty for this whole thing, he had promised from the day he met you to protect you. You were nothing more than a ray of sunshine in his extremely dark life, the reason he lived was you and seeing you lay on the couch unconscious and injured absolutely broke him. He could not loose anyone else.

After Molly was finished she stepped back and walked over to Harry wrapping her arms around him in a tight motherly hug.

"She will be alright..." she mumbles softly into his hair as he begins to sob.

------ A Little While Later ------

Harry had fallen asleep sat on the floor next to the couch where you had been laid. His head rested uncomfortably on the edge as his hand gripped onto yours tightly. His whole body reacts when he feels you hand twitch slightly. His hands snap open and he quickly looks up at you right when your eyes slowly flutter open.

"Y-Y/n? Sweetheart, are you awake?" You groan softly as you reach up and feel at the now bandaged wound. Harry gently grabs your hand and pulls it back down, planting a soft kiss on your palm as he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Hey...You're alright love...I'm right here..." He whisper softly as tears flood your eyes

"Harry..."

He stares at you sympathetically for a moment before, gently as possible, lifting you into his arms and holding you close to his chest. His hands rubbing up and down your back slowly as you sob into his shoulder where your head is resting.

He feels his own tears rise but he chokes them down to comfort you, something he knew you needed.

After a long few minutes you calm down and slowly sit up, ignoring the pounding that happens in your head at the movement. You hands wrap tightly around him and you stare down at him silently as he stares back before gently kissing your forehead leading you to let out a sigh and lay your head back down on his shoulder.

Harry noticed the shift in your personality. The silence that used to be replaced with constant chatter about things only Hermione could truly understand. The fear in your eyes that used to be full of light and shine. He noticed it all and it killed him...

"My love...Lets get you some food alright? And maybe some orange juice?"

He waits for your reply and when you nod he immediately stands with you in his arms and makes his way into the kitchen where he goes to place you in a chair only to be stopped when you tighten your grip and mutter out a soft "No..."

He stops in his tracks and stands back up with you in his arms, glancing down at your face

"No what love? You don't want me to put you down?" When you nod, confirming his question he sighs softly but obeys your wish and walks over to the fridge and pulls out a pitcher of orange juice that he pours into a cup and hands to you. As you sip at the juice he quickly makes a sandwich before taking a seat at the dining table and slowly feeds you the sandwich.

When you finish it a few minutes later he lets you finish the orange juice before standing and placing the dishes in the sink, letting the magic do its thing and clean the dishes, Harry makes his way down a hall and into the room Bill had given him to stay in.

He gently lays you down in the bed causing you to let out a soft whimper, he gently kisses your forehead

"Shh sweetheart, i'm right here...Let me get you some clean clothes okay?"

You hesitantly nod and he rushes off into the closet where he grabs an old shirt of his and a random pair of boxers before quickly making his way back to you where he finds you crying.

The guilt in his gut only grows and he walks over gently rubbing your back, you climb into his lap and he instantly lets you, wrapping his arms around your waist and rocking you gently as you sob.

Once you calm down he coaxes you off of him for just long enough to get you bathed and changed into the outfit before helping you into bed where he climbs in after you, letting you lay on top of him- rather uncomfortably, before holding you close as you fall asleep a few moments later.

And that is how most days go...

A few weeks passed and your physical condition had improved, the gash had almost completely healed, leaving a scar. All the bruises had faded and the small cuts had healed leaving their own small scars across your body.

Your mental health was another thing...While it hadn't worsened it really hadn't improved either...Harry could finally leave you alone but not for to long, you refused to leave the bed and talking still came very rarely for you.

Harry had left the room a few moment ago, to do something...He had said but truly you hadn't been listening.

Looking around the room your eyes land on the mirror hung on the wall, more specifically the reflection in the mirror. As you stared down your own reflection, seeing the large scar across your forehead caused disgust to rush over you in waves.

You slowly sit up in the bed letting the blanket fall to your waist, being in only your bra, all of the small scars that now littered your body were on full display. Your hands slowly ran over each of them, picking and pulling at them almost as if you were trying to get them off of you.

You were so lost in your own world that you didn't notice harry stepping into the room until you saw him in the mirror causing you to jump.

"What are you doing sweetheart?" He asks softly as he climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around your waist after gently grabbing your hands and pulling them away from your skin

"N-Nothing..."

He clearly didn't believe you but instead of saying anything he gently pushed you back onto the bed and yanked the blanket off of you completely causing you to gasp and wrap your arms around his shoulders. "H-Harry! What are you doing?!"

He shrugs slightly as he leans down and kisses your forehead, right on the scar. "So pretty..."

Your whole body heats up as he leans down to your stomach area and presses soft kisses to each scar he could see as he mumbles praises.

"Beautiful..."

"Gorgeous..."

"Pretty..."

Any praise he could think of was flying out of his lips as he worshiped you, your face was the so ho from being so flustered that you couldn't stand it. This was exactly what you needed...That disgusted feeling melted away with every kiss and praise he gave you.

After a moment he looks back up at you, his glasses sat on the tip of his nose almost falling off. You giggle softly pushing his glasses back up his face, a smile appearing on your face for the first time in weeks.

Harry grins and moves up peppering kisses all over your face causing the small giggles to grow even more as you gently push him away

"My sweet girl" He says softly "Wanna take a walk with me? You seem in a good mood..."

You think for a long moment about the offer before ultimately nodding and slowly pulling yourself from the bed and into a standing position.

Harry smiles quickly following you out of the bed and helping you put your shoes on before putting his own on and leading you out of the cottage, the sun hitting your skin for the first time in weeks was an amazing feeling. You soaked it in for a moment before walking down the beach towards the water where you stop at the shore line letting the water wash over your sandal covered feet.

Harry slowly approaches you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder as he gazes down on your face as you gaze out at the water

"What are you thinking about honey?"

You stay silent for a moment before leaning back against him "Our future..."

"Oh yeah? What about it?"

"I don't know...Just how- how everything is gonna end...With the war, the death eaters...he who should not be names..."

He sighs softly and kisses your cheek, before being taken you had no problem calling him Voldemort but now you were terrified..

"Nothing will happen to you again...Me, Ron and Hermione have a plane okay? Please don't worry about it..."

With a small nod you turn around in his arms and snuggle your face against his chest "How many kids do you want..?"

He looks down slightly shocked at your question before thinking for a moment "Honestly, it wouldn't matter to me...As long as I have you that's all that matters...What about you baby? How many?"

"Three...Two boys and a girl..."

He chuckles, your answer was instant with absolutely not hesitation behind it. "I'll do my best to help fulfill that dream my love..."

You giggle and slowly close your eyes as you rest against him. It finally felt like you could see a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He had been everything you needed to get through such a rough time. Your love. Your support but most importantly your protector.

THE END

Oh. My. Goodness. I think this is my best work yet, I hope this is up to your expectations love!! And I am so so sorry it took so long to get this out there!!

#harry james potter imagines #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #harry james potter x reader #harry james potter imagine #harry james potter x y/n #harry james potter fluff #emmie tt

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nyxshadowhawk · 4 months

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A Retrospective on Harry Potter

Why did I like it in the first place? What about it worked? Where do I go from here?

I have decided to give up Harry Potter.

J.K. Rowling’s reputation now stinks to high heaven. At this point, she is quite indefensible. And even if that weren’t the case, she is not someone that I would want to associate with anyway. Meanwhile, the internet has not only turned against her, but against Harry Potter itself. An innocent question on Reddit, about which Hogwarts Houses the ATLA characters would be in, got downvoted to oblivion. Innumerable Tumblr threads insist that fantasy fans should get into literally anything else (suggestions include Discworld, Earthsea, The Wheel of Time, and Percy Jackson). And now that Harry Potter is no longer a sacred cow, there has been a recent slew of video essays that rip it to shreds, attacking it for its poor worldbuilding, unoriginality, and the problematic ideas baked into the original books (like the whole SPEW thing), etc. Those criticisms always existed, but now they’re getting thrown into the limelight.

It pains me to see such an ignoble downfall of Harry Potter’s reputation. If Rowling had just kept her damn mouth shut, Harry Potter would have aged gracefully, becoming a beloved children’s classic. I'd still plan to introduce it to my own kids one day (after Rowling dies and the dust settles). It’s not surprising that not all aspects of it have aged well, since it’s been more than twenty years since its original publishing date, and everything starts to show its age after that long. I acknowledge that most of the criticisms of the series that I’ve seen lately are valid, and I’ve read plenty of better books. And yet, when I return to the books themselves, even with the knowledge of who JKR really is inside my head, I still really enjoy reading them! There’s still a lot about them that I think works!

None of the other things I’ve read have had as collossal of an impact upon my identity, my values, and my own writing as Harry Potter. It’s hard to move on from it, not just because it’s something I enjoy, but because I have to literally extract my identity from it. I don’t know who I’d be without Harry Potter. I don’t know what my work would look like without Harry Potter. I don’t know how to carry it with me as just another piece of media that I like, as opposed to a filter for who I am as a person. So, with all that in mind, I have to ask myself why I liked Harry Potter so much in the first place. If I’m going to move on from it, then I have to be able to define and isolate the things about it that I want to keep with me. Something about it obviously worked, on a massive scale. So what was it?

It’s not the worldbuilding. The worldbuilding is objectively quite terrible, especially in comparison to that of other fantasy writers who knew what they were doing. At best, it’s inconsistent and poorly thought-out, and at worst it’s insensitive or even racist. Is it the characters? The characters are, in my opinion, one of the stronger parts of the story. But I felt very called-out by one of the many online commentators, who said that anyone who identifies with Harry is too cowardly to write self-insert fic. (I do not remember who said it or even which site it was on, but I distinctly remember the phrase, “Reject Harry Potter, embrace Y/N.”) The reason why people get so invested in Harry Potter’s characters is because they’re easy to project upon, and it’s possible that my love of Harry comes more from over a decade’s worth of projection than anything else. The incessant arguments over characters like Snape, Dumbledore, and James Potter ultimately stem from the fact that these characters do not always come across the way Rowling wanted them to. As for the writing itself, it’s decent, but not spectacular. Harry Potter is something of a sandbox world, with less substance than it appears to have and a crapton of missed opportunities, making it ripe for fanfic. For more than ten years, I’ve been doing precisely that — using Harry Potter as a jumping-off point to fill in the gaps and develop my own ideas, some of which became my original projects.

So what does Harry Potter actually have that sets it apart? Why are people so desperate to be part of Harry Potter’s world if the worldbuilding is bad? What, specifically, is so compelling about it? I think that there’s one answer, one thing that is at the center of Potter-mania, and that has been the underlying drive of my love of it for the past decade and a half: the vibe.

Harry Potter’s vibe is immaculate.

You know what I mean, right? It’s not actually a product of any specific trope, but rather a series of aesthetic elements: The wizarding school in a grand castle, with its pointed windows and torches and suits of armor, ghosts and talking portraits and moving staircases, its Great Hall with floating candles and a ceiling that looks like the night sky, its hundreds of magically-concealed secret doorways. Dumbledore’s Office, behind the gryphon statue, with armillary spheres in every single shot. Deliberate archaisms that evoke the Middle Ages without going as far as a Ren Faire: characters wearing heavy robes, writing with quills and ink on parchment instead of paper, drinking from goblets, decorating with tapestries. Owls, cats, toads. Cauldrons simmering in a dungeon laboratory. Shelves piled with dusty tomes, scrolls, glass vials, crystal balls, hourglasses. Magical candy shaped like insects and amphibians. A library with a restricted section. A forbidden forest full of unicorns and werewolves. That is the Vibe.

There are five armillary spheres just in this shot. They are unequivocally the most Wizard of tabletop decor.

There’s more to it than just the aesthetic, though. The vibe is present in something that writers call soft worldbuilding.

There’s a phrase that writers use to describe magic systems, coined by Brandon Sanderson: hard magic and soft magic. Sanderson’s first law of magic is, “An author’s ability to solve problems with magic is directly proportional to how well the reader understands said magic.” A hard magic system has clearly-defined rules — you know where magic comes from, how it works and under which conditions, how the characters can use it, and what its limitations are. Examples of really good hard magic systems include Avatar: The Last Airbender and Fullmetal Alchemist. If the audience doesn’t understand the conditions under which magic can work, then using magic to get out of any kind of scrape risks feeling like the writer pulled something out of their ass. It begs the question, “Well, if they could do that, then why didn’t they do that before?”

You may come away from that thinking that having clearly-defined rules is always better worldbuilding than not having them, but this isn’t the case. Soft magic isn’t fully explained to the audience, but that doesn’t matter, because it isn’t trying to solve problems — its purpose is to be evocative. Soft magic enhances the atmosphere of a world by creating a sense of wonder. If your everyman protagonist is constantly running into cool magical shit that they don’t understand, then the world feels like it teems with magic, magic that is greater and more powerful than they know, leaving lots of secrets to uncover. Harry Potter, at least in the early books, excels at this. The soft magic in Harry Potter is what got me hooked, and I think it’s what a lot of other people liked about it, too.

The essence of soft magic is best summed up by this scene in the fourth film, in which Harry enters the Weasleys’ tiny tent at the Quidditch World Cup, only to find that it’s much bigger on the inside. His reaction is to smile and say, “I love magic.”

That’s it. That’s the essence of it. You don’t need to know the exact spell that makes the tent bigger on the inside. You don’t need to know how Dumbledore can make the food appear on the table with a flick of a wand, or how he can make a bunch of poofy sleeping bags appear with another flick. You don’t need to know how and why the portraits or wizard cards move. You don’t need to know how wizards can appear and disappear on a whim, or what the Deluminator is, or where the Sword of Gryffindor came from. You don’t need to know how the Room of Requirement works. Knowing these things defeats the purpose. It kills the vibe, that vibe being that there is a large and wondrous magical world around you that will always have more to discover.

One of the best “soft magic” moments in the books comes early in Philosopher’s Stone, when Harry is trying to navigate Hogwarts for the first time:

There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts: wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday; some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump. Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in exactly the right place, and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending. It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot. The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was sure the coats of armor could walk. —Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 8

Many of these details don’t come back later in the series, which is a shame, because this one paragraph is super evocative! It establishes Hogwarts as an inherently magical place, in which the very architecture doesn’t conform to normal rules. Hogwarts seems like it would be exciting to explore (assuming you weren’t late for class), and it gets even better when you learn about all the secret rooms and passages. The games capitalized on this by building all the secret rooms behind bookcases, mirrors, illusory walls, etc. into the game world, and rewarding you for finding them. The utter fascination that produces is hard to overstate.

Another one of the most evocative moments in the first book is when Harry sees Diagon Alley for the first time, after passing through the magically sealed brick wall (the mechanics of which, again, are never explained). This is your first proper glimpse at the wizarding world and what it has to offer:

Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, “Dragon liver, seventeen Sickles an ounce, they're mad....” A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium — Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy. Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. "Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand — fastest ever —" There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon.... —Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 5

What works so well here is the magical weirdness of wizardishness juxtaposed against normalcy. Eeylops Owl Emporium is just a pet shop to wizards. A woman makes a very mundane complaint about the price of goods, but the goods happen to be dragon liver. Broomsticks are treated like cars. All of these small moments contribute to the feeling of the wizarding world being alive, inhabited, and also magical. It gets you to ask the question of what your life would be like if you were a wizard. What do wizards wear? What do they eat? What do they haggle over and complain about? What do they do for fun?

In Book 3, Harry enjoys Diagon Alley for a few weeks when he suddenly has free time, and we get to experience the wizarding world in a state of “normalcy,” when he isn’t trying to save the world. He gets free ice creams from Florean Fortescue, gazes longingly at the Firebolt, and engages with delightfully weird people. He’s a wizard, living a (briefly) normal wizard life among other wizards in wizard-land. And that is fun. It’s so fun, that people want that experience for themselves, enough for there to be several theme parks and other immersive experiences dedicated to recreating the world of Harry Potter.

One of the greatest things about Universal was its phenomenal attention to detail. You can hear Moaning Myrtle’s voice in the women’s bathroom, and only the women’s bathroom. The walls of the Three Broomsticks have shadows of a broom sweeping by itself and an owl flying projected against the wall, so convincingly that you’ll do a double take when you see it. Knockturn Alley is down a little secret tunnel off of the main street, and that’s where you have to go to buy Dark Arts-themed stuff. It’s really well done.

Another thing that contributes to the vibe, in my opinion, is that the wizarding world is slightly macabre. They eat candy shaped like frogs, flies, mice, and so forth, and they have gross-tasting jellybeans. In the film’s version of the Diagon Alley sequence above, there’s a random shot of a pet bat available for purchase. In the third film, when Harry is practicing the Patronus Charm with Lupin, the candles are shaped like human spines. In the first book, this is Petunia’s description of Lily’s behavior after she became a witch:

Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that-that school, and came home every holiday with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! —Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 4

I remember reading this for the first time, and it just kind of made intuitive sense to me. I suppose it fits into the “eye of newt and toe of frog” association between magical people and gross things, but somehow it works. Unfortunately, this is retconned later with the knowledge that wizards can’t use magic outside school, but before that limitation gets imposed, the idea of Lily amusing herself by turning teacups into rats seems like an inherently witchy thing to do.

That association between magic and the macabre shows up elsewhere, as well. In The Owl House, Luz’s interest in gross things is one of the things that marks her as a “weirdo” in the real world. When she goes to the magical world of the Boiling Isles, weird and gross stuff is absolutely everywhere. That world’s vibe leans more towards the macabre than the whimsical, but it works because you sort of expect the gross stuff to exist alongside the concept of witches, and that they would be an intrinsic part of the world they inhabit. You don’t question it, because it’s part of the vibe.

(The Owl House is one of the few things I’ve encountered that has a similar vibe to Harry Potter, but it’s still not the same vibe. In fact, The Owl House outright mocks the expectation that magical worlds be whimsical, and directly mocks Harry Potter more than once. The overall vibe is much closer to Gravity Falls.)

The Harry Potter films utilize a lot of similar soft worldbuilding with the background details, especially in the early films that were still brightly-colored and whimsical. For example, the scene in Flourish and Blotts in the second film has impossibly-stacked piles of books and old-timey looking signs describing their subjects, which include things like “Celestial Studies” and “Unicorns.” When Harry arrives in the Burrow in the same film, one of the first things he sees is dishes washing themselves and knitting needles working by themselves, taking completely mundane things and instantly establishing them as magical. In that Patronus scene with Harry and Lupin, the spine-candles and a bunch of random orbs (and the obligatory giant armillary sphere) float around in the background. One small detail that I personally appreciate is the designs on the walls above the teacher’s table in the Great Hall, which are from an alchemical manuscript called the Ripley Scroll:

It’s all these little things that add up to produce The Vibe.

Obviously, much of the vibe is expressed very well in John Williams’ score for the first three Harry Potter films. The mystical minor key of the main theme, the tinkly glockenspiel, the strings, the rising and falling notes that mimic the fluttering of an owl, the flight of a broomstick, or the waving of a wand. That initial shot of the castle across the lake as the orchestra swells, as the children arrive at their wizarding school:

If you grew up with Harry Potter, just looking at this image gives you The Vibe. The nostalgia hit is definitely part of it, but The Vibe was already there, back when you were a child and you didn’t have nostalgia yet.

In my opinion, only Williams’ score captures this vibe — the later films, though their scores are very good, do not. But the soundtrack of the first two video games, by Jeremy Soule (the same person who did Skyrim) absolutely nails it. This, right here, is Harry Potter’s vibe, condensed and distilled:

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This is why I feel invalidated by the common advice “just read another book.” I have read other books. I’ve read plenty of other books, many of which are wonderfully written and have left an impact on me. But there’s still only one Harry Potter. To date, there’s only other book that has filled me with a similarly intense longing for a fictional place, and that is The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. That book deliberately prioritized atmosphere over everything else in the story, and actually lampshades this in-universe. The Night Circus has a plot and it has characters, but it’s not about its plot or characters. It’s about the setting and its atmosphere. It swallows you up and transports you to a fictional place that is so evocative and so magical that you just have to be part of it or you’ll die. And even then, The Night Circus has a different kind of vibe from Harry Potter. In this particular capacity, there’s nothing else like Harry Potter.

The thing is, I don’t think Rowling was being as deliberate as Erin Morgenstern. (In fact, given many of Rowling’s recent statements, I question how many of her creative choices were deliberated at all.) She was throwing random magical stuff into the background without thinking too hard about it, which works when you’re writing a kids’ story, but stops working when you try to age it up. Actually, scratch that — soft worldbuilding is definitely not just for kids! The Lord of the Rings has a soft magic system, for crying out loud, and Tolkien is the original archmage of worldbuilding. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that prioritizing atmosphere over meticulousness is bad worldbuilding. That is a valid way to worldbuild! Not everything needs to be clearly explained, not everything needs to make sense. The problem is that Harry Potter doesn’t balance it well. Certain things do have to be explained in order for the magic to play an active role in the story (and the setting of a magic school lends itself to that kind of explanation), but no rules are ever established for the kinds of magic that need rules. When you begin thinking about the rules, you’re no longer just enjoying the magic for what it is. At worst, you begin running up against the Willing Suspension of Disbelief.

It wasn’t actually the “aging up” of the story that did it in, per se, but rather, the introduction of realism. The early books were heavily stylized, and the later books were less so. A heavily stylized story can more easily maintain the Willing Suspension of Disbelief. That’s why, for example, you don’t ask why the characters are singing in a musical — you just sort of accept the story’s outlandish internal logic, and the inherent melodrama of it doesn’t take you out of the story. Stylized stories are more concerned with being emotionally consistent over being logically consistent. The later Harry Potter books changed their emotional tone, but without changing the worldbuilding style to compensate.

In addition to the more mature themes and darker tone, Harry Potter introduced more realism as it went, but Rowling did not have the worldbuilding chops to pull this off. There’s the basic magic system stuff: When you begin thinking about it too hard, something like a Time-Turner stops being a fun magical device, and starts threatening to break the entire story. Then there’s the characters: Dumbledore leaving Harry on the Dursleys’ doorstep in the first book is an age-old fairy tale trope that goes unquestioned, but with the introduction of realism in the later books, it suddenly becomes abandonment of a child to an abusive family. The exaggerated stereotypes of characters like the Dursleys become tone-deaf. The fun school rivalry of the House system is suddenly lacking in nuance. And then there’s the shift in tone: The wizarding world that we were introduced to as a marvellous place is revealed to be dystopian. You start thinking about how impractical things like owl messengers are, you start wondering if Slytherin is being unjustly punished, the bad history appears glaringly obvious, the quaint archaisms become dangerously regressive. Oh, and the grand feasts are made through slave labor! The wizarding world suddenly feels small and backward instead of grand and marvellous. J.K. Rowling’s bigotry throws it all into an even harsher light.

This is why I’ve always preferred the early books and films to the later ones. There’s a lot of things I like about the later ones, but they’re not as stylized — they don’t have The Vibe. Thinking about things too hard is just a necessary condition of adulthood, but it’s still possible to tell a dark, mature story that is highly stylized. I really think JKR could have better pulled off that shift if she was a more competent worldbuilder. But it is painfully obvious that she did not think things through, and probably didn’t understand why she had to. In her defense, she did not know that her story would end up being one of the most scrutinized of all time. As it stands, her strength in worldbuilding was in the softer, smaller, deliberately unexplained moments of magic that were there just to provide atmosphere. And there were less and less of those as the books went along.

Pretty much all the Harry Potter-related content released since the last film — including Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts, Hogwarts Mystery, Hogwarts Legacy, Magic Awakened, and that short-lived Pokemon Go thing — have been unsuccessful attempts at recreating The Vibe. In fact, the only piece of supplemental Potter content that I think had that Vibe down pat was the original Pottermore, back when it was more of an interactive game. And of course that got axed. That was right around the time things started going downhill.

Some of the art from Pottermore’s original Sorting quiz.

So what now? Well, that’s the question.

I think I can safely say that The Vibe was the reason I liked Harry Potter. It’s the thing I still like the most about it. I’ve spent years chasing it, like an elusive Patronus through a dark wood. If I can capture and distill that Vibe, and use drops of it in my own work, then perhaps I won’t need Harry Potter anymore.

I'm gonna write the story that I wish Harry Potter was, and when I'm a famous author, I won't become a bigot. I'll see you on the other side.

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chlobliviate · 2 months

Text

Wolfstar Microfics - Recovery

Words: 796

@wolfstarmicrofic

***

TW - mentions of former alcoholism/addiction and being in recovery

***

The wedding had gone off without a hitch. Even Lily’s family seemed to be happy, which for them was nothing short of a miracle. The day had been beautiful, they’d all cried at some point and by the time they sent James and Lily off to their honeymoon suite, almost everyone was ready to call it a night.

“Fancy a walk?” Remus asked, as the last of the wedding guests stumbled upstairs. “I’m not tired yet.” Sirius nodded and they took a side door out of the hotel and followed the path down to the lake. Remus walked ahead and sat at the end of the rickety jetty, Sirius following a moment later.

“I know this is quite possibly the worst time to bring this up,” Sirius started.

“But you’re going to anyway?”

“But I’m going to anyway.” He nodded, “I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for how things ended with us. I was an absolute monster towards the end and you tried so hard to help me and, yeah, I’m just really sorry, and thank you for trying so hard.”

Remus said nothing for a while, the two of them watched wildlife create ripples on the surface of the lake, and marvelled at the reflection of the moon.

“Lily said you’re sober now.”

“Six years and four months, yesterday.” He smiled.

“Wow, that’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you.” Remus squeezed Sirius’ thigh affectionately out of habit, then froze. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Sirius was glad that it was dark, he knew he was blushing. “It took about two weeks before I realised you weren’t coming back and then, bam, rock bottom.”

“I’m so—”

“Don’t be. I needed the wake up call. If you’d stayed much longer I’d have destroyed us both.” Sirius looked down at the water. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.” Remus said slowly. “It sounds like you’re doing really well.”

“There are good and bad days, like anything. Therapy helped a lot.” Sirius shrugged, “Another thing you were right about.”

“I feel like saying ‘I told you so’ is in bad taste.” Remus chanced a look at him and smiled.

“Nah, I deserve at least one, I reckon.” Sirius smiled back at him, taking in the way the moonlight picked out the beginnings of grey near his temples, and made his eyes seem to glow. He willed himself to look away for the sake of his self control.

“Well then. I told you so.” Remus said softly, looking out at the lake.

“Turns out I’d repressed a lot of stuff from being a kid and apparently that’s not good if you want to be a healthy adult. Yes, yes. I know you told me that too.” Remus bit his lip as he grinned and even just seeing the side of it made Sirius want. “I needed to lose you to get myself better, but it’s also the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much where I’ve been at with it.” Remus leant back on his elbows and looked up at the sky. “I was… miserable. For a long time. But I don’t think I’d be who I am now without that time in my life, you know?”

Sirius mirrored Remus’ movement and stared up at the stars. “Did you find someone?”

“To love?” Sirius nodded, “Nah. I looked for a while, had a few dates here and there, but nobody really interested me. It’s just me and my cat Peaches. What about you?”

“After I got out of self destruction mode, I didn’t date for a couple of years. I was with this guy Ed for a year or so but that fizzled, and it’s just been me for a few years now. I debated getting a cat, but it’s hard work taking care of myself, let alone another living thing.”

“It sounds stupid, but getting a cat made me look after myself more.” Remus chuckles and Sirius feels the sound in his chest. “Like I had someone else to be accountable to for the first time in ages and it made me want to do better.”

“Weirdly, I totally get what you mean.” He paused, “It’s hard to want to do things for yourself sometimes, right?”

“Exactly.” Remus nodded, “She makes sure I’m awake by 7 and making her breakfast by quarter past.”

“Still not a morning person?” Sirius knocked his shoulder into Remus’ gently.

“No,” he knocked Sirius back and laughed, “I go back to bed after feeding her way too often. She tries.” Before he could talk himself out of it, he gently rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah,” Sirius’ voice was barely audible as he leant his cheek on Remus’ hair. “This is ok.”

#fanfic #ao3 #wolfstar #fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #wolfstar microfic #marauders #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus #sirius x remus #past wolfstar #chlobliviate

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myfavcharacterdidntdrown · 6 months

Text

Hear me out:

Sirius travels to the future and goes to Hogwarts, he sees Remus as a professor and flirts with him and that kind of shit. It’s an au where Sirius in that timeline hasn’t escaped from Azkaban. He questions shit and Remus eventually tells him that he killed Lily, James and Peter and that he’s now in Azkaban and he can’t accept it, he has a mental breakdown. He finds out about what happened to the others like Marlene, Dorcas, Evan, Barty, Mary, Pandora etc. And he sees Luna yk and thinks about Pandora and he’s like “wait I thought Pandora was with Lily?”

then together they figure out what really happened cuz they see Peter on the marauders map. And they deal with him.

Then Sirius sees Harry and goes: “holy shit he looks just like James!! Am I an uncle?” And when Harry gets a little closer, he goes: “wait- his eyes? Why does he have blue eyes?” And Remus has to explain to him that Regulus joined the death eaters and died when he was 17 and that Harry’s mother is Lily and Sirius goes through another mental breakdown. And after he’s calmed down, he’s like: “so I’m not his uncle?” And Remus is like: “you’re the godfather.” And Sirius cheers up a little.

And when he sees that Harry is in love with Draco he is like: why do the potters have smth for the snarky, sad, depressed, Slytherin seekers who’s mean to them. And ppl from the black family. (I count Draco as a black cuz Narcissa is a black so yeah) (Regulus and Draco both getting the dark mark cuz they were forced😭😭😭)

and when Harry gets a tiny crush on ginny sirius goes like: HIS BEST MATES SIBLING?! OH LOOK HOW FUNNY SHES A GINGER TOO! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? See moony I told you it’s in his genes. (You can decide yourself if it’s endgame hinny or Drarry)

And he sees the Weasley twins and he’s like: “they’re my new idols!!” And Remus is like: “We’re their idols actually”

And he sees himself and James in Ron and Harry.

And after a few months when Sirius has caught up with everything, he flirts with Remus and is like: “you know moony I’m horny” and Remus is like: “well I can’t do anything about it, that would be pedophilia” and Sirius is like disappointed. But they eventually have sex (help😭Sirius is like 15 or 16 btw) and Sirius is like: “yOuR cOcK hAs GrOwN”. They take every chance they get to make out. And Remus is like: “oh how much I’ve missed this, missed you”

(They’re at Hogwarts btw) (it’s up to you if he pretends like he’s a student or if he’s hiding in Remus’ room) (but some professors would know if Sirius pretended like he was a student) (maybe he goes in disguise with polyjuice potion or smth?)

(He meets Harry if he’s just hiding and tells him everything but if you decide him to disguise as a student then he just watches from afar and doesn’t talk to him often.)

Remus asks him if this counts as cheating on his past self. And Sirius is like: “no you’re still you, so cheating on you with you is impossible”

Mcgonagall finds out about Sirius but doesn’t tell anyone.

Oh and it takes place during PoA and GoF. But the events just don’t happen, it’s like a normal Hogwarts year. So yeah no voldy coming back. Or no Sirius escaping Azkaban.

You can decide if Remus stays at Hogwarts during GoF or not, like the events didn’t happen so he doesn’t have to leave. But it’s up to you if he leaves and lives with Sirius in his house during GoF. But they’re definitely at Hogwarts during PoA.

and a bit to the end of GoF they figure out a way to send Sirius back to the 70s. Sirius says goodbye to everyone and leaves (Remus is like FUCKING sad cuz he has no one left) and as soon as Sirius is back he begs his brother to run away with him so that that terrible things don’t happen and he talks to James and Remus about Peter, and they do smth to fix that.

So yeah that was it

SOMEONE WRITE THIS PLEASE!!

#can you give me credit if you write it please😭#why does it sounds like it’s a lot to ask😭#marauders era #harry potter #sirius black #marauders #remus lupin #time travel #prisoner of azkaban #goblet of fire #wolfstar #remus x sirius #jegulus #james potter #draco malfoy #ginny weasley #ron weasley #minerva mcgonagall #regulus black

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jimmy-johns-was-taken · 9 months

Note

i hope ur doing good! if not, i hope you get well soon <33

anywhizzle, could you write nina, BEN and E.J w/ an s/o that can use magic/witchcraft? like harry potter but not rlly harry potter kinda style?

STOP I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS

Nina the Killer, BEN Drowned, Eyeless Jack with a witch s/o

Nina the Killer :

Divination Witch

You and Nina are literally soul mates

I think it would be cute that like maybe you were doing a tarot reading and it was all like “good things are coming in unexpected ways”

And then boom

Nina shows up

*insert that one stitch meme where he’s laughing over the pits of hell*

She might get into witch craft becuz you’re into it

She loves you so much though

Will ask you to do a reading for her

Not only tarot, but palm readings as well

Y’all are seriously a really cute slasher and witch duo and I’m living for it

Two idiots in love, causing mayhem wherever they may go

BEN Drowned :

Cosmic Witch

You and BEN are an odd duo

Both young teens, stupid in love

You’re a newly discovered witch, trying to understand the stars

BEN is a dead kid who has the wonders of the Internet at his Cheeto covered fingers

He doesn’t have a clue what any of the stars mean

But he’ll listen and learn just for you

He might be a dead 13 year old, but he’s more “mature” (he’s not mature, just knows how to treat someone right)

Sets up a little room for you in cyberspace, filled with space themed stuff

Would take you to see the stars up close in cyberspace

Whenever you talk about moon phases, he might seem super uninterested and will just be like “yep babe”

But then like 30mins later he’ll pop up and be like “so when does this moon phase end? And what happens after?”

He seems really uninterested, but that’s just his expressions

He’s always paying attention and will remember everything

Eyeless Jack :

Green Witch

I’m sure you could all seem this coming

You and Jack are outcast from society

A demon and a witch, who both practice medicine

I imagine that’s how your friendship (and later more) started

You both are able to learn from one another

You learn a lot more sciencey stuff and he learns more about magic

You make most medicines while he does more surgery stuff

A killer combo

Nobody dares to mess with y’all

But behind close doors?

Y’all are so sweet with one another it’s too cute

Sitting in the sunroom, tea and book in your hand, tea in his, you reading to him while the sun rises

So romantic

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby #ben drowned #eyeless jack #jane the killer #jeff the killer #nina the killer #creepypasta x reader #ben drowned x reader #eyeless jack x reader #nina the killer x reader #witch reader

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stay-tiny-ville · 9 months

Text

Han Jisung

Summary ~ Delulu thoughts of baby gurl Han Jisung and why the hell can’t men like this exist where I am (Or just my head going wild with dating head cannons of Han Jisung)

A.N. - I have heard your pleas for more Stray Kids before I move on to Ateez and I come to deliver DONT WORRY BABIES I HAVE 14 DRAFTS

A.N. 2 - I haven’t really checked word counts my brain just kinda goes on and on so if ones are longer than others I deeply apologize 🧎🏻‍♀️

A.N. 3 - also I’m genuinely confused if I can actually consider them head cannons if these are kind of mainly blurbs in each (if you can’t tell idk how to classify these)

———————————————————

Dawg, dude, sweetheart, baby, babe, angel are names he’d call you

Def the best friend boyfriend

That’s probably how you got together was from being best friends because he’d probably be too anxious to get with someone he had feelings for that he didn’t know on a deep level

You two are on top of each other at all times

Like laying on top of each other when one is already laying down

Full weight where the other can’t breathe

Or laying full body weight on them while they are doing stuff out and about

One only gets out of bed/off the couch if the other carries them

You’ve seen the nonexistent legendary baby photos

If you like to wear baggy or big clothes he would wear your clothes and you would wear his and all of a sudden you both have one giant closet with double the clothes

Would def watch marathons of movies with you when they should be watched

Like nightmare before before Christmas, horror movies, and Charlie Brown Halloween movies around fall

Star Wars runs in May

And def the classic Christmas movies such as Harry Potter, the Santa Claus movies, and even the original and classic stop motion movies

Year without a Santa Claus is the best

I imagine on one of your rare coinciding days off you don’t go out, no matter how long it had been since you had, instead this was the superior alternative

Maybe it was even a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday or even just an accomplishment but you spend the day on the couch

The beginning of the day consisted of the classics you had to get out of the way like the Studio Ghibli movies I know everyone agrees on him loving so much or just things that recently released you had been dying to getting around to watching

After a collection of movies was watched you would break for food

Most of it consisted of not the healthiest stuff a man in his field should be consuming in such quantities

Like pop tarts in the morning, hot pockets for lunch, macaroni for dinner

Just a lot of processed things but man were you two adorable and just having a fun day so who can be mad at you

As the day slowly got darker, Hannie built a nest of blankets he nestled around him, but there wasn’t a blanket on top of him

But that’s where you come in

You lay between his legs, head on his stomach, turned to wach intently the movie that played

one of his hands holding yours while the other ran along your head

As the movie pulled to a close you turned to rest your chin on his stomach, his own dark, large, quokka eyes bore into your own

His hand falls from your head to your cheek and he held it gently

His gaze softening as much as humanly possible as his eyes closed the more he smiled at you his gorgeous smile

You felt your heartbeat quicken

No matter how many years you had known this man, through childhood or not, no matter how old you were, you were just a teenager madly in love

You were lost in your adoration for this beautiful creature and you think he could tell since he giggled before he untangled from you and stood, pulling you up by your hands

He mumbled “come on” with a smile as he pulled you to the kitchen for snacks

You knew the drill at this point in the night

Popcorn

He got the bowl ready while you had put the bag into the microwave/started heating it on the stove

Obviously he got the quicker job and by the time you sat back and waited he was already waiting and leaning against the kitchen island behind you

You turned around and barely took a step before his gentle hands grabbed ahold of your forearm and coaxed you into his arms

His arms securely wrapped around your shoulders and thus pressed your head into his shoulder and neck

Your own arms wrapping around his tiny waist

The only noise was the hum of the microwave/hiss of the popcorn on the stove as you relaxed into who you called your home

After making your way back to the couch for what would be the last movie of the night with the snacks, you once again found yourself attached at the hip to your boy

This time you were tucked into his side, head on his shoulder while you two laid

you lasted all but 40 minutes of the two hour film before your eyes fluttered

It didn’t help that his hand was on your waist and was softly brushing at the open skin and made you feel safe

He watched you as you lost the fight to your eyes and brushed strands of hair from your face

(If you’re a heavy sleeper) he gathers you into his arms and heads to the bedroom, leaving behind the snacks and blankets to be cleaned up tomorrow

(If you aren’t a heavy sleeper) he moves all items off of you (phones, popcorn bowl) and falls asleep to the sight of you in his arms

Han deserves so much love and I love love baby girl Hannie

#skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz scenarios #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #han jisung #han jisung x reader #skz jisung #jisung x reader #jisung fluff #skz fanfic #skz han x reader #Skz Jisung x Reader

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shivstar · 2 months

Text

Kinda weird question to ask when most of the people I interact on Tumblr are prongsfoot shippers,,,

But what do you guys think James Potter can do Or what event can happen making Sirius really pissed off to the point of not wanting James in his life...

Like I love Prongsfoot too but seeing this guy practically worship James Potter both in canon and decent fanon stories too. It is like having eaten too much sweet. Now i want a bit of spiciness and saltiness....

You know those friends to enemies to lovers tropes. Where they were super close friends but then one of them did something and then everything was changed...( I am not talking about miscommunication tropes.... )))

We are all people who write or imagine stories and in fictional world anything is possible. So how can this happen due to situations. Without altering their key personalities and who they are as a person....

I mean there have to be some cases where dogs too loose their loyalties?

I am not talking about just distancing and loving them from afar. I am talking about hating their guts at most Or atleast like not wanting to do anything with them. Plain indifference is even worst....

To be honest always seeing too loyal Sirius ready to wait out for James has irked me somewhat in Prongsfoot fandom. Like we see Sirius talking too much about James in canon but the one scene we have of James and Sirius, Harry concludes within a second that James will do anything for Sirius, but in fictions it is always like Sirius was in love with James and James just gave up on that because he liked Lily more Or he had interanalized homophobia etc, at the end making it all about Sirius suffering ind finally getting James meanwhile James has fun with wife and kids who then becomes good friends with Lily after their divorce because nothing bad comes to golden boy Potter.

So l like the idea of Sirius taking the reigns of his life back in his hand. And doing some self loving after realising that he is no longer a priority in James's life after Lily and then James being like realising what he has lost after taking Sirius for grated for too long and groveling and all.

So ... I guess this is an open prompt/ request, if you guys could do any snippet or would like to talk more on this....🥺🥺🥺.... I mean there has to be someone in entire Hp fandom who has had enough of wump Sirius... Or is it just me..?

#Sirius Black #James Potter #prongsfoot

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lottiebagley · 10 months

Text

'Tis the damn season- Sirius Black

If I wanted to know Who you were hanging with While I was gone, I would've asked you It's the kind of cold Fogs up windshield glass But I felt it when I passed you

She felt weird being there, an intense feeling of guilt. She hadn't meant to leave. Really, it was the last thing on her mind at first. But everything felt claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her. Things with Sirius were in a weird place and really she wasn't 100% sure how to handle it. Then, all of a sudden, she had this job offer. It was temporary, 6 months in New York and she needed something that felt new and alive and she wanted to be far away from Sirius. Now everything had changed because 5 years later and she still lived an ocean away.

Remus was a teacher now. Lily and James were married with a kid and trying for another. Marlene was thinking about filing for divorce.

They weren't kids anymore. They were in their mid 20's.

She was home for Christmas. She didn't have family in New York nor England, but as they had every year prior Lily and James demanded she spend the holiday at their place.

"God I'm so glad you're here!" Lily is squealing, arms flung around her friend in the busy airport. Little Harry, who's 4 now is clinging to his godmothers leg with gleeful giggles

"Hey Lils," She smiles, a soft smile, as she returns the hug. Leaning down to pick Harry up "How's my little trouble maker?" She questions, propping the dark haired boy on her hip as she grabs her suitcase, listening to the child's babble and responding when needed as her and Lily make their way to the Potter's car.

Harry is babbling excitedly from the backseat, about father christmas and presents and chocolate, as Lily attempts to join the stream of traffic leaving the car park

"James is so sorry he couldn't come with us to pick you up, he got called into work last minute," Lily apologises as they start the hour long drive back to her home.

"Prongs knows I don't mind Lils, and so do you. Just grateful to have somewhere to spend Christmas,"

"And you should know we would never let you spend it alone," Lily reminds, her friend smiling softly.

"I do know that," She reassures. It was true. She'd grown up next door the Potter family, so inevitably James was one of her best friends. When they both made Gryffindor they stuck together, as everyone who knew them expected. They had their little group which eventually adopted her dorm mates, Lily, Dorcas and Marlene after Lily and Severus stopped speaking.

It had been content, the war was fought and they survived.

The friendships survived too for the most part the only lingering awkwardness being the one shared by her and Sirius. They never dated, technically, but they were in love. Utterly deeply in love. They had been since they were 15 and though they never actually confessed it, never allowed their friendship to blossom into something more, they both knew it. Sirius was her first kiss, her first time. He took her to dances and picked her up from class and she painted his quidditch number on her cheek for each game and stroked his hair. It wasn't a relationship, but in all ways but labels it was, which led to inevitable drama. It was unsustainable but nothing changed, they both knew it was why she left.

"You can ask y'know," Lily comments, eyes ever so briefly flickering to glance at her friend knowing the thoughts in her mind.

"Don't think I wanna know the answer," She shrugs, glancing out of the window. "Is he gonna- y'know," She trails off embarrassed to admit seeing him again had been on the forefront of her mind.

"Yeah he's spending the holidays too," Lily confirms, watching as her friend nods and knowing better than to ask her what she's thinking.

"Is he..." She trails off not entirely awkwardly, Lily glances at her intense eyes and a knowing smirk "Does he. I- A date? Is he bringing someone of the holidays?" She lets the question spill out

"No," Lily informs simply, she doesn't offer anything else, changing the conversation quickly.

There's an ache in you Put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me

She'd known she was going to see him, with Lily's confirmation in her mind. She didn't know though, how she felt about it. Excited and nervous all at once, would he hate her? would he have moved on? Just because he wasn't bringing someone for the holidays didn't mean he didn't have someone.

She hadn't expected though, to see him quite so quickly. The car pulls into the drive and she knows immediately that he's there, motorbike tucked at the end of the drive way and the door is being pulled open by him. His hair is a little longer, though she hadn't seen him since last Christmas so she could have predicted that. He's clad in a warm looking jumper and some sweatpants, clearly cozy inside the comforting home.

"There's my little man!" He's cheering, wide grin, as he rushes to open a giggling Harry's car door, quickly fetching the child from his car seat and lifting him into a tight hug.

She wonders, briefly, if he was concentrating on not letting his eyes fall to her, or if maybe that magnetising need to look at each other wasn't there anymore. For him at least. She still can't imagine a view on earth she'd rather look at than that of Sirius Black.

"Thought you were coming tonight?" Lily questions, she's helping the girl with her bags but her eyes are watching Sirius, watching as he seems adamant on not looking at the girl who's staring at him so desperately Lily thinks she looks as if she could combust.

"Regulus' new girlfriend is a bore," Sirius shrugs, he knows he should greet her, that it's awkward not too, after all they are spending the next week in the same house. But he doesn't want to be the first to say something. He didn't leave. He didn't not return any calls.

"Hi Sirius," Her voice is timid and as much as he's glad to hear it, to see she's here, she's here and well and not got some boyfriend to spend her holidays with he hates it. Hates that she is reserved around him now.

"Hey, good flight?"

"Fine, crying baby but no turbulence,"

"That's good then, aside from the crying obviously," he feels like an idiot the second the words have left his mouth

"Yeah,"

"Cool," he wants to curse whoever has decided now would be a good time to remove every word he has ever known from his mind and leave him a boring, lifeless shell.

"What about you? How was Regulus?"

"Fine got a new girlfriend,"

"Heard she's a bore," The girl jokes and Sirius smiles, a real smile. Wondering, for a moment, when he last didn't have to force a smile.

It's then that Harry begins to whine, Lily swooping in to get him inside and get him a snack. The small moment effectively ruined.

So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown

The house is cold, it hadn't been the whole evening, upstairs and tucked in the spare bed she hadn't been. James had insisted she take the guest room. He'd assured time and time again that Remus and Sirius didn't mind her having it. Remus was going to have a blow up bed in the office and Sirius was taking the couch. She had consistently tried to take either sleeping situation, feeling bad to be the one taking the bed. The offer was refused.

She's humming softly, some Christmas song that had been stuck in her head for days having heard it so many times recently. Her hands make light work of pouring milk into a pan, the lights in the kitchen set to dim.

"Let me guess, hot chocolate?" His voice is velvety, not at all laced with sleep. She wonders if he was laid awake too, thinking about how she was directly above him, so close yet impossibly far.

He had been.

"You know me too well," She agrees, voice soft. She doesn't turn around, feels almost embarrassed to be clad in reindeer print pj bottoms and some old jumper she'd had forever.

"You just haven't changed since we were eleven," He returns, leaning on the door frame.

"You want one?" She asks, moving towards the fridge to take out the milk once more.

"I got it," He announces. She nods, lets him cross the room to take out the milk, instead taking out another mug, and dumping 2 tablespoons of hot chocolate powder into it.

He arrives by her side, placing the milk down alongside a can of whipped cream.

"Pretty sure that's for Harry's special christmas eve hot chocolate, the one with a flake and marshmallows and smarties," She comments, her tone is soft, the adoration she has for the child evident.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Sirius shrugs, he watches as she carefully adds more milk to the stove, "Just promise you won't tell on me yeah?"

"Your secret's safe with me," She confirms, she looks at him then. For the first time since he entered the room. He's already looking at her. With a look she can't read and so much intensity she wonders if anyone has ever looked at her like that before. He looks beautiful though, glowing in the soft lighting of the room.

"Y'know, I still do this every time I can't sleep," She informs him, eyes sincere and voice quiet, almost lost in the night.

He knows what she's trying to say. It had started when they were kids, he'd found her in the common room late at night on the second day of school. They'd spoken a little, but she'd stuck to James like glue, quiet when he wasn't by her side. She'd looked at him, wide glassy eyes. He'd asked what was wrong and she'd whispered to him about feeling like she was never going to belong in Gryffindor, not even at Hogwarts. He'd comforted her, wiped her tears away and helped her sneak to the kitchens, acting confident when in reality he'd never done it before either. He'd made the hot chocolate and she'd sat on a counter, he made her laugh and she suddenly felt like maybe everything would work out, like she might belong here after all.

It had become ritualistic for them. If one of them was sad they'd sneak to the kitchens and make hot chocolates and vent and cheer each other up.

Her first break up.

His bad fight with James.

Her dad passing.

His parents.

The war.

"I do too," He'd said quietly. Looking away now, almost like her words had hurt him even though it was the last thing she intended to do. "Milk's done," He adds, he wanted to leave the room, he was scared. Scared if he stood there, looking at her all domestic and cosy and glowing and beautiful, he wouldn't be able to resist the urge he'd been fighting since she climbed out of the car that morning.

I parked my car Right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours The holidays linger like bad perfume You can run but only so far I escaped it too Remember how you watched me leave But if it's okay with you It's okay with me

Her legs are curled under lap, almost cat like in the large arm chair. Remus in next to her, sprawled across the sofa with the crossword of the day from some muggle paper in his hands.

She has one too, in her lap, though she's hardly looking.

"Ok, I'm at a wall. Trade me," Remus announces, leaning across to hand her the paper he had been working on

"Huh?"

"Trade me?" He questions, eyebrows furrowing at her despondent face.

"Right," She nods, switching papers with him.

He looks at her crossword, hardly started and suddenly he feels bad.

"You okay?" He asks, he glances out of the window she's clearly looking out of. Sirius is out there, leather jacket and a loose scarf. He's laughing, head thrown back and eyes crinkled. Helping Harry, who Lily had bundled up extra tight, to build a snowman.

"Fine," She confirms, pulling her eyes away from Sirius to look at her friend.

"I can only imagine how hard this is for you," Remus says gently

"I'm okay," She shrugs. Remus nods, not sure what to say. It felt like a theme recently. In the 24 hours she'd been there Lily, James and Remus had all struggled. Not sure what to say to either of their friends. They clearly missed each other, clearly pined for each other. Yet, neither of them was doing anything about it, neither of them even wanted to talk about it.

"You know he never wanted kids," She speaks quietly, head motioning outside. "It was weird. I always thought he'd be a great dad. Still, think he would. I just- I guess I got it. His parents were-well, y'know- and I understood him not wanting to repeat that, thinking he'd be like him, his dad I mean. He wouldn't though. He'd have been a good dad. Still could be I guess,"

"I think so too," Remus confirms, eyes traveling to watch his friend as he helps Harry to roll a head for his snowman.

"I get that he was scared, just think it's a shame," She comments. She turns back to her crossword, to Remus' familiar scrawl. She'd said too much, she didn't want to put anyone in the middle of things.

"You're wrong," Remus speaks, still watching Sirius

"How so?"

"He wanted kids. He talked about it a bit," Remus explains, watching as she turns to look at him face contort with confusion, "Said he wanted them after the war. A boy first, then a girl,"

"He'd be a good girl dad,"

"Didn't seem to care too much," Remus shrugs, "He just wanted a family. Everyone to be happy and healthy and safe. Said he wanted a daughter cause he thought she'd look like you,"

"Me?"

"Who else would he have had this fictitious family with?" Remus shrugs

"Sirius didn't want to settle down, we all knew that,"

"If you'd asked he would have done,"

"Remus-" She sighs

"You know I'm right. He'd have done anything you asked,"

"That's not fair, I wasn't even his girlfriend,"

"Sorry. I'm not trying to put anything on you. I'm just saying, he would have done anything you asked. Think he probably still would,"

"I asked him to be my boyfriend. He said no," She states simply. She'd asked too early, that's what Sirius had always said. To ask right before a war was starting, when their lives were so imminently in danger. The label would make something happening to either of them so much worse, it's what he'd said when he rejected her.

Remus wants to say that if she'd asked again, asked after the war, that Sirius would have said yes. That he'd have married her on the spot if it's what she'd wanted. That Sirius had told him that the day before she left. But Remus decides it's not fair to put that on her. She left and Sirius stayed and either one of them could have changed everything.

"Let's talk about something else," Remus decides.

We could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now

Lily was stressed, that much was clear. Her hair was messy and Harry was whining on her hip. The kitchen a mess around her. James wasn't much better. Somewhere outside with Remus and Sirius, a desperate attempt to try and construct the goddamn gazebo.

"Lil, everything okay?" Her friends voice speaks from the doorway

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you get back," Lily speaks, her voice a little quick and eyes wide as she turns around, Harry starts to let out a whine and Lily's eyes screw shut.

Her friend is quick, reaching out to the toddler and distracting him quickly when she passes him his dinosaur toy from the kitchen counter. "What can I do?"

"Remind me to never listen to James and agree to host a stupid Christmas Eve party next year?" Lily questions, she's moving quickly back to the counter. Stirring the chocolate that's melting in a pan for dessert, momentarily abandoning the vegetables she had been cutting.

"Okay, and for right now?"

"I hate food cooked with magic, but this is hard and I have a thousand things to do and no time and-" Lily complains, eyes starting to turn glassy

"Lily, sweetheart, you are gonna be fine. Delegate okay? I chop a mean carrot,"

"No, you're a guest and-"

"Lil, what do you need?"

"Can you run to the supermarket?"

"Done," The girl nods, scribbling the list Lily recites onto an old envelope

"Take one of the boys with you, there's going to be a million bags," Lily instructs, pointing out her car keys as she turns back to her food prep "You're the best," She calls after her friend.

The silence in the car is awkward, they both hate it, because before all of this silence between them was never anything but comfortable. She has so much she wants to say and he does too, yet neither of them can even begin to find the words they would need.

"Got a lot to get?" Sirius questions from the passenger seat, fingers tapping anxiously at his thigh.

"There's a list in my bag," The girl answers, suddenly questioning if she'd come off blunt, she hadn't intended to.

"Can I?" He questions, head tilting to the tote bag on the back seat, unaware whether they were at an appropriate level to go rifling through each others bags.

"Sure," She agrees, he leans back, grabbing the bag and pulling it onto his lap.

He rifles through the bag for the list, trying to ignore the de ja vu the bag causes, her essentials the same as they were in her high school bag.

"You're a shit driver y'know?" he teases, looking up from the list when she takes a turn much too quickly, jolting him in his seat

"Maybe I had a really bad teacher," She shrugs in response, they both find their minds running to the summer Sirius had taught her to drive, her home opposite the Potter's allowing them to hang out every vacation.

"At some point you can't teach someone, trust me I tried,"

"You gave up,"

"Well at the time I was a glorified taxi service,"

"I'd say private chauffeur," She corrects, he smiles lightly

"I'm driving home,"

"Okay,"

Time flies Messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown

The black dress sparkles a little in the light of the guest room, ending at her thighs and tight to her body she turns a little in the mirror, she was running a little late but it had taken forever to get her hair to fall right.

She thought maybe she'd dragged out getting ready a little too long. The party had started downstairs, there was so many people. People from school. People she didn't know, new friends and colleagues. Her friends, all of them. Yet it was daunting. She thinks maybe it was the thought of Sirius, Sirius all dressed up because she just knew he'd look perfect. Sirius flirting with some girl he'd invited, or one of James' colleagues or someone from school.

She'd been drinking wine as she got ready, something she'd done to ease her nerves but now she almost regretted. Feeling a little tipsy and overly emotional, the idea of watching Sirius with someone else left her feeling a white hot anger in her very soul. A feeling she knew was incredibly unjustified, yet she couldn't push it away.

It's why, as she walked into the decorated living room, bee lining to Marlene, who was squealing at the sight of her well missed friend, she was glad to see Sirius was in the corner of the room playing with Harry.

She spends hours catching up with friends, making polite chit chat with people from distant memories, smiling and exchanging pleasantries with strangers. She allows some guy from Lily's work to flirt with her but doesn't give anything back.

She watches Sirius from afar. He looks beautiful, so utterly beautiful. He's dressed in a white shirt that's tight around his form, the top few buttons undone and his blazer abandoned somewhere.

He spends as much of his night as he possibly can with Harry, staying with the kid until he's tucking the sleeping boy into his bed. Partly because he firmly believes Lily and James deserve a night off, partly because it's the perfect alibi.

After that Sirius tries to float, doing little jobs to help things run smoothly and using a plethora of excuses to excuse himself from conversations. He feels rude, particularly to a girl from school who he is sure is nervous to approach him. He isn't rude. But he thinks maybe it comes off that way.

He's not sure is it's just that it hurts to see her so okay, head back laughing with her friends. Or maybe it's just how drained he's felt all day.

He grabs a bottle of champagne and his blazer, sneaking outside and to sitting on the floor round the side of the house. Out of sight from any windows. He digs through his blazer pocket for a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, a habit he's been trying to drop but honestly was struggling with.

Its 5 minutes of silence before he is the slight click of heels on the floor. He holds his breath, hoping to not be found. She rounds the corner and he exhales. Feeling less drained just at the sight of her.

"Got a light?" She questions, Sirius nods and watches as she crosses towards him, cigarette in one hand and glass of champagne in the other. She holds the cigarette out to him and he lights it for her. "Mind if I sit? Or I can go smoke in the back garden and we can both pretend the other person isn't out here?"

"Sit," He says simply, she nods, sitting next to him on the cold ground, Remus had shovelled snow all afternoon. "Since when did you smoke?"

"Since 2 years ago, I had some project due at work and I was crazy stressed. Some guy I work with offered me one and I accepted. Stupid looking back," She informs simply.

"It's bad for you,"

"I've been telling you that since we were 17," She reminds

"Been trying to quit," He admits, watching her as she stares at him. Her eyes are slightly hazy, he can see she's drank a little too much but she's holding herself together gracefully.

"That's good. I have too,"

"Good," He nods, he watches as she inhales and exhales and sips her champagne.

"Why are you out here?"

"It was too much in there," Sirius admits, she nods in quiet understanding

"I get that,"

"You always did. Get me," He sighs, almost wishfully

"I guess so,"

"Do you regret leaving?" He asks. He thinks maybe he shouldn't. That come morning maybe he'll regret it. But there's something about the way she looks in the moonlight. The way she's been looking at him since she came outside, and how it's the same way she's always looked at him.

"I'm really proud of my career. I wouldn't have it if I had stayed," She's careful in her words, he can see her thinking about them before she speaks

"Right." He nods, her words in his mind are a polite rejection.

Sleep in half the day Just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait If you don't ask me to stay

"Merry Christmas!" James' voice is loud as he enters the guest bedroom, flipping the light on without a care in the world

"I hate you," She states simply, they grew up together and James really was the closest thing she had to a brother. He smirks watching as she uses the thick sage green bedding to cover her eyes from the light.

"I know. Haz wants you to come downstairs so we can do gifts,"

"What time is it?"

"6. He's been up since 4," James informs, she pulls the duvet down from her face to see him leaning in the door way

"Fine," She agrees stretching a little before clambering from the bed. The matching Christmas pjs Lily had purchased for everyone bunched up a little.

"Hey, you doing okay? With Sirius I mean," James' voice drops low as he asks, eyes scanning the landing behind him briefly

"I'm fine," She can tell from the look on his face he doesn't believe her "Promise,"

"Mooney said he saw you guys sneaking back into the house last night. At the party," she hates the way his voice sounds hopeful

"We were both having a smoke James. It's nothing,"

"Thought you were quitting,"

"You sound like your mother,"

"Harsh! Go downstairs already woman," James teases, his tone light as he shoves her playfully on her way past him.

Lily makes mimosas and the group of friends share easy laughs as the day passes by, gifts exchanged and Harry smothered with love and attention. She decides it's the easiest day, people are distracted enough in the festivities the Potters have planned to not spend the whole day worrying about her and Sirius.

Without eyes on them they both find it easier to talk, they share whispered jokes and his dizzying beauty seems softer when he's smiling at her as they peel veg together.

"Lil I'm serious, go play with James and Harry. We can handle veg duty," She's determined in the way she gently pushes the girl through the archway into the kitchen.

"Thankyou sweetie," Lily is beaming, looking between her friend and Sirius's back knowingly before shooting her friend a knowing wink. "Rem, come with!" She calls as she retreats to the living room. Remus does as told, but not before giving Sirius a pointed look, one that screams 'SAY SOMETHING'.

"I've got the potatoes if you've got the carrots," Sirius offers

"Sounds good," She confirms, fluffy socks pattering on the floor as she takes her place beside him at the oak counter.

"When are you flying back to New York?"

"The 28th, I promised Mitch I'd be back in time for his birthday stroke crazy new years party,"

"That's fun," Sirius is lying. Nothing about what she just said is fun. It's the opposite. He has three more days before she's an ocean away all over again. She's rushing home, not staying for new years like she has every other year for some guy.

That's the least fun of all, Mitch. Who the fuck is Mitch? Sirius is racking his memories, in all the awkward Christmases they'd shared since she left she's never once mentioned a Mitch.

She sees the question in his eyes but doesn't say anything else. She's about to, truly she is, until the song playing through the small radio changes.

"Oh my god it's my favourite Christmas song!" She's beaming, dropping the carrot and knife she's holding and rushing to turn the music up.

He smiles gently, watching as she begins to dance around the kitchen. Red tartan pyjamas and the knit jumper Remus gifted her, he can't stop his mind from running to all the summer holidays they'd make breakfast together in the Potter's kitchen and she'd dance around.

"God, you still can't dance," He teases, gentle smile

"Shut up and dance with me!" She demands, she stretching an arm out to him and fuck he wishes he knew how to say no to her.

They jump around and sing along, hands linked together as he twirls her around the room, hearts beaming and flooding the room with laughter.

The song ends and she's breathless, chest to chest, so close to each other.

"Mitch?" He can't help the question, not when he's so close to her, not when it's taking everything in him not to lean down and kiss her

"He's gay."

"Oh,"

"There's no one else for me," She says it quietly, hands dropping his and looking down to her feet, almost embarrassed to admit it

His hand shoots up, cupping her cheek gently and forcing her to look at him

"Me either," He reassures, voice smooth and soft.

So I'll go back to LA And the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking And the heart I know I'm breaking is my own To leave the warmest bed I've ever known

James Potter can make a kick-ass espresso martini. It wasn't new information, he always made cocktails in the evening on Christmas. The rest of the inner friend group (the other girls from the dorm at school) and their spouses would come over, they would play stupid games and listen to the music they grew up on and the parents would take it in turns to check on Neville and Harry who by this point would be sound asleep in Harry's space themed bedroom.

Lily had gawped with wide eyes when she'd chosen the seat next to Sirius at Christmas dinner. Remus almost choked on his carrot when Sirius had ever so casually wrapped his arm around her at the table and she had leaned into his touch Marlene had been shooting her friend knowing looks all night, eyebrows raised in question at the way she'd been perched on the arm of his arm chair the whole night.

Nothing had happened. Not really. But something in the air had changed, something in the way he was looking at her was different, the longing glances had lost their sadness.

The night ends slowly, Marlene and Dorcas wander out into the night. Alice heads to where James had pulled out the sofa bed in the office. Lily leaves having checked on the kids one last time.

She's the next to head to bed, acutely aware of the sound of Sirius behind her on the stairs even though he's been sleeping downstairs the whole trip.

"What are you doing up here?" She whispers the question in the hallway as Sirius arrives on the landing.

"I wanted to say night," He whispers back, he looks too pretty. The warm lighting from the downstairs light makes him almost glow and he has a drunken grin on his face. She's no better, her eyes glassy from one too many of those damned martinis.

"You said night downstairs," She counters, he rolls his eyes fond gentle smile as he tucks her hair behind her ear.

"I'm glad you're here,"

"Me too," She confirms it quietly "Look forward to getting to see you, talk to you all year." He doesn't know if the light blush on her cheeks is from the alcohol or the whispered confession.

"Doesn't have to just be at Christmas y'know? You could call, visit even. I really miss you," He isn't shy in his confession. He'd scream it from the rooftops if it meant she might be a part of his life again for more than just the holidays.

"Sirius," Her voice is soft, he's too close. He is so close and she feels overwhelmed by him, drunk on his scent and using all her self control to keep her hands out of his hair.

"I mean it, darling. Truly," His hand reaches out, firm against her chin. "Hey, look," He speaks, face close enough she feels his breath on her face. She follows his eyes, looking up to see a sprig of mistletoe above them.

James does it every year, enchants mistletoe to sprout above two people in love. Mainly, he does it so he can kiss Lily and remind her to stop being so stressed about hosting and actually enjoy the holidays. Partly, he did it in the hopes it might help his two friends find their way back to each other.

"Can I?" Sirius's question is full of nerves, scared he's pushing her too far

"Always,"

It's gentle and timid, the way he pushes his lips to hers. It's safe at first, a peck. Neither wants the other to freak and run.

He's the one to push it further, though that isn't really surprise.

He pulls her ever closer, chest to chest and his big arms wrap around her, holding her to him. He kisses her like he's desperate, scared if he stops he'll loose her all over again.

She feels like she can breathe properly for the first time in years. Feels a weight off her shoulders as she allows her hands to tangle into his hair, a craving she'd had every time she looked at him. She lets him man handle her towards the door to the guest room.

His tongue pushing into her mouth as he holds her against the wall by the door. One of her hands stays tangled in his hair as the other moves down to hold onto the warm skin of his hip, fingertips slipping under his maroon sweater.

His hand travels down, landing on her bum with a firm squeeze and the motion seems to bring her back to her senses a little. She pulls away, though Sirius is quick to chase her kiss swollen lips with his own. She giggles in response, one last chaste peck to his lips before she looks him in the eyes, blown out a little with lust and creased from his bright grin.

"Sirius," She sighs out, he smirks head falling to allow himself to press a trails of kisses down her jaw and onto her neck

"Darling," he murmurs against her skin

"This is a really bad idea," Her point seems a little futile as she moves her head to the side to allow him more space to press his kisses

"Tell me you want me to stop. Say the word and I'll go back downstairs and you can go to sleep and we can wake up and pretend none of this happened,"

We could call it even Even though I'm leaving And I'll be yours for the weekend 'Tis the damn season

He doesn't think he's ever seen a sight so beautiful. She's laid next to him, body lit by the pale moonlight casting through the window. Her skin is bare and flushed and she fits against his body as perfectly as she always has.

Her leg is strewn over his naked torso, her head resting on his chest, hand reaching up to comb her fingers through his hair.

His arm that wraps around her lands on her back, thumb pressing comforting circles into her back.

"You're so perfect," He speaks into the quiet. She tilts her head up on his shoulder, allowing him to see her beaming face

"Sirius, you are the most beautiful person I've ever known," Her tone is impossibly soft, as his heart in that moment. The sincerity in her voice makes his whole body feel warm.

He feels too overwhelmed by the sickly sweet love in his chest to come up with much of a response, instead he presses his lips to her forehead an action so full over love and comfort it almost hurts her chest.

"I'm gonna hate having to miss you again," She says softly, her settling back into his chest as he squeezes her closer

"Only ever a phone call away," He hums hand moving to toy with the ends of her hair

"You could visit?" She suggests, scared he'll laugh at the thought though she has no reason to be

"Anything, if you want me to do it I will," His promise makes her grin widely, she leans up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

The quiet takes over once more, both basking in having the other in there arms again, a feeling they'd been craving in the years of absence.

"I'm sorry I left," She whispers, she'd wanted to say it a thousand times, truly she had.

"I'm sorry I didn't come after you," He pauses for a beat, he thinks maybe the question is too big, what he's asking of her too much. His eyebrows furrowing as he thinks, deep pout on his lips.

"What are you thinking about?" She questions, thumb gently smoothing out the lines in his frown

"Stay," He says it quietly, so quiet she almost misses it. "Please, I need you to stay,"

We could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now

She hadn't technically said no. She hadn't said anything really.

She'd felt like an idiot, sitting up in the bed to better at Sirius. Blinking as her mind raced, what if she did stay? what would she be staying for? would he finally be ready to commit to her or was he asking her to give up the career she worked so hard for to be around when he wanted a casual fuck?

"Say something," He hated how much his own voice sounded like it was begging, he hated the look in her eyes. The guilt. She was going to say no. He was certain of that as he looked at her.

"Say anything," He doesn't mean to sound angry. Doesn't mean to make her feel bad.

She's left, blinking as she desperately tries to gather her thoughts. He gets out of bed.

His movements around the rooms are sharp and hurried, tugging his clothes back on.

"Sirius," She says, she needs him to look at her. Needs him to stop for a second, to talk to her.

"No," His hands tug his jumper over his head as he moves towards the door

"Stop. Sirius, please just wait," She clambering out of the bed to follow him, grabbing her pyjama pants and pulling them up quickly as she reaches for the large knit sweater. She's following him down the stairs of the silent house.

He slams the front door in her face before she has the chance to follow him out into the snow. She hears the revving of his motorbike before the engine kicks in, hears the way it fades away as he races into the night.

She feels like an idiot. Feels pathetic as she sinks to the ground, back pressed to the front door. She had vowed a long time ago to stop crying over Sirius Black yet she can't stop herself.

"What's going on?" Remus is calling. Woken up by the sound of the slamming door. She wipes at her tears, desperate to hide them from him but the second he sees her and sends her a soft smile she's blubbering all over again.

"He left. He fucking just left," She's hiccuping through her crying, and he joins her on the old wooden floor.

"What happened?" He asks gently, a comforting hand squeezes at her knee.

"We slept together,"

"Ok, ok and then he just left?"

"No. He asked me to stay and I- I froze Rem. I sat there like an idiot and didn't say anything. He just- I needed to think and he wouldn't give me fucking second,"

"What would you have said?"

"I don't know what he wants. If he wanted to try like really try I would have said yes,"

"He needs to know that,"

Time flies Messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now

She hadn't been to his apartment before. Remus had apparated her there and waited with her in a comfortable silence until he'd arrived. Sat on the curb outside, her head on his shoulder. Knowing he was home Remus left, she was safe on the busy London street, Sirius wouldn't let any harm come to her despite the deep sigh he lets out at the sight of her.

"I wanna be alone,"

"Too bad. I need to talk to you," She demands, arms crossed in front of her.

"We can talk later,"

"No Sirius. You don't get to say all that shit to me and then just leave,"

"Fine. come on,"

He leads her in an awkward silence up into the building, refusing to look at her in the short elevator ride to the 8th floor.

His apartment is very him, it's cosy and homely and smells like the Gryffindor common room.

He drops onto the sofa in the living room, she's too busy eyeing the framed photos on the wall, heart melting a little at the photo of the two of them, both in school uniform sat by the black lake her head on his shoulder his arms holding her close to him. Matching bright grins staring back at her.

"You wanted to talk," He reminds, embarrassed that even after rejecting him she's seeing his framed photo of her.

" The other day, at the party You asked me if I regret leaving? I lied. No I didn't lie. I just- I didn't tell you the truth. I regret it, every fucking day I regret it, I lay awake every night thinking about what we could have been if I'd stuck around,"

"It's a little late for that," he grumbles, arms folded and a stoic look on his face

"Could you just listen to me?" She snaps, "I've been in love with you since I was 14 Sirius and you have never ever wanted a relationship,"

"That's not true," He protests

"Oh. So you just didn't want one with me?" She feels like an idiot, standing in front of him. Their friends were wrong, she was wrong.

He hates the hurt in her voice, the tears in her eyes.

He's on his feet now, passing over the burgundy rug to grab her hand in his

"That's not what I mean. I just- I was scared, scared if you were mine and something happened. I couldn't have lived through that,"

"You never told me that, you always just said you weren't a boyfriend guy,"

"I could be. For you I could be,"

"Why did you leave?" She questions, desperate to know why he couldn't have given her just a few minutes to work things out

"I couldn't hear you tell me that you don't love me enough to stay,"

"I would never say that,"

"No?" He questions timidly, his eyes searching her desperately

"No," She shakes her head "If I stay this can't be what it was. I'm giving up my life here. We are older now and we are safe and this has to be real,"

"It's always been real to me. I'm in love with you, been in loved with you since second year and I will be until the day I die. So sweetheart, please, please be mine? for real this time,"

"It'll always be you Sirius," She promises, his lips kiss her and she feels herself fall in love with him all over again.

And it always leads to you and my hometown It always leads to you and my hometown

#harry potter fanfiction #sirius #sirius black x reader #sirius black #harry potter #sirius orion black #sirius x reader

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fitzs-trained-monkey · 2 years

Text

Err on The Side of Awesome

(Not my gif)

Kol Mikaelson's Daughter Headcanons

Requested by: @katherinereilly19

Here lies my Masterlist

You were adopted by Kol and Davina Claire-Mikaelson at age six from a Catholic orphanage run by nuns who all thought you were some sort of demon child.

See, like your adopted father, you were a witch and had come into your power rather early. Davina had been sensing some odd power flares in the area and, when she and Kol had gone to investigate, there you were - a sweet, little bundle of mischief with more power than you knew what to do with.

To say that you had Kol wrapped around your little finger from the first second he saw you would be no exaggeration. Seriously.

Kol had never thought himself fit to be a husband, let alone a parent. It still baffles him some days that Davina agreed to marry him - most days in fact - it just seemed too good to be true. They traveled the world for a while and then… Well, Davina, she…

She said she wanted kids.

She didn't say that she used to want kids or that she would have wanted them had she married someone else. Davina said she wanted to be a mom. With him. She said she wanted to have a kid with him and she wanted Kol to be that kid's dad.

At first, he almost thought it was a joke. Who in their right mind would trust him with a child? But no, Davina was serious.

And it terrified him.

Kol is well aware of just how miserably his parents screwed up their job and he's pretty sure he couldn't do any worse but that doesn't mean he'd do well.

But the guy took just one look at you and he knew without a doubt that there was no alternative realm, no obscure future, and no minuscule probability in which he could cause you any harm.

For the first little while, you were convinced (thanks to the nuns) that you would have to be an absolute angel of a child in order to be wanted by your new parents. You helped clean things, refrain from using your magic, made your bed, brushed your teeth, and never asked for anything.

Three months in, you dropped a plate and broke down crying, begging Mr. and Mrs. Claire-Mikaelson (because you wouldn't dare call them mom and dad) not to send you back.

What began as your average Tuesday afternoon turned into a deeply formative experience when Kol sat you on his knee, looked you in the eyes, and said:

"Y/N, darling, I want you to listen to me very closely, alright? There is absolutely nothing on this earth you can do or say that will make your mother and I love you any less. There is no such thing as good enough - there is no bar you have to meet - only what you are. Now, a plate is infinitely replaceable, but you are our daughter and I will love you until the end of time. That makes you infinitely more valuable than a plate. Okay?"

"O-okay… dad?"

That was a day you never forgot as you grew older.

Speaking of growing, no matter how old you get, Kol can and will pick you up by the ankle and hold you upside down. It never gets old.

Also, piggy-back rides.

You did go through a phase where you were convinced there was a monster in your closet.

"Dad! There's a monster in my closet and it wants to eat my toes!"

"Really? Well, I must applaud the audacity."

There were quite a few nights you spent cuddled up between them as Davina braided your hair and Kol told you a story until you fell asleep.

Kol always refers to you and Davina as "his girls".

He's always willing to play with you, whether it be a game of tag or a complex drama plot with your dolls. (His personal favorite was when you decided to reenact the French Revolution in Barbie form.)

Daddy-Daughter Days are 100% a thing. The two of you are huge movie and arcade goers. Not to mention huge fantasy nerds. From Deltora Quest to Harry Potter to the freaking Wheel of Time - your fascination with the fantastical never fades as you grow. You never thought yourself too old to be read to at night, so Kol never stopped the tradition.

You're a little (a lot) spoiled. But not in a bad way. You're not ungrateful but let's just say you have quite a few pets.

Auntie Bex is always more than willing to babysit when your parents want some time to themselves. You remind her of Kol when he was a kid and she adores that.

Play-Dates with your cousin Hope mean quite a few headaches for your uncles Klaus and Elijah. Aunt Hayley thinks you're absolutely hilarious while Aunt Cami is convinced you're like 4 different varieties of insane. She might have a point there.

When you're old enough to be in school, you can always count on your parents to help you with your homework. You never would have made it through middle or high school without your dad, Kol is insanely good at math and chemistry. However, when it comes to anything to do with history or government, he passes the torch to Davina because even though he lived through it, he literally never paid enough attention to remember anything.

Parent-Teacher conferences are always interesting.

"Y/N is so intelligent. Truly a joy to have in class."

"Is she now?"

Neither of them buys it for a second. You have a mischievous streak a mile long, the teacher just doesn't know that you're the one putting tacks on her chair. Kol is honestly proud and Davina may try to be the voice of reason but she can't help laughing at just how alike father and daughter turned out to be.

Now, if Hope is "miraculously well adjusted" then you're probably something like a thirty-year-old in an eight-year-old body. You're like the most chill child perhaps ever. However, just like your father, your maturity level varies with the situation.

For example, Klaus once decided it would be a good idea to whip out the "You're not even a real Mikaelson" card at a family reunion. It wasn't long before Davina had thrown Klaus into a wall and Kol and Marcel were at each other's throats.

You honestly weren't even bothered. You knew your parents loved you and that was enough so you simply said:

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

And went back to eating your dinosaur chicken nuggets.

Marcel - apparently still a little touchy on that subject - was the last to sit down again. Little did he know just how proficient you had become with teleporting objects. Naturally, you were smirking when the whoopie cushion did its noble work.

Kol is terrified that he'll lose touch with you as you grow older.

This fear never comes to fruition.

The trust between you and your parents is something every other child ever would envy. They trust your judgment and, in turn, you trust the very few restrictions they put in place for you. It's crazy because they honestly never get mad. Like ever.

However, their disappointment is the worst thing you'll ever endure.

They told you not to go out one night because an old enemy of Klaus' was wandering around town. You went out anyway and you were attacked. Now, you were powerful enough to fight off your assailant and kill him, but you didn't come out of that fight unscathed. You had to limp home and tell your dad what had happened.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I've done much worse in my life, for much dumber reasons. To be mad at you would make me a hypocrite. I just know you're better than this - Y/N, you've shown me that you're better than this. I'm not angry with you. I'm just extraordinarily disappointed."

It happens only once and never again.

Growing up with those two for parents ensured that you quickly mastered your magic and became one of the most powerful and skilled witches of all time. But don't think for a second that you would ever be used. They would never allow that to happen.

As you reach middle and high school, a rumor begins going around that your dad is a vampire. You just snort really loud and make no further comment. It leaves everyone wondering.

First boyfriend?

Heaven help the poor sod.

"If you ever lay your hands on my daughter against her will, you will find that you no longer have hands. I will use the bones of them to fashion myself a new pen, with which I shall write your death certificate. Do I make myself clear?"

Once you're old enough, the basement becomes something of a witchy lab space.

Explosions are… frequent.

*Coughing* "Thank goodness your mother wasn't home for that one."

"Think again, Mikaelson."

"Oh shi-"

"Uh… Hi mom!"

You're probably the healthiest Mikaelson.

When the time comes for you to graduate, it's a hard dose of reality for Kol. He understands he has to let you live your life and he would never dream of taking that away as it was taken from him, but it's just hard.

You'll never stop being his little girl.

Special thanks to: @her-violent-delights

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chaifootsteps · 3 months

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Just a confession. I never liked Harry Potter when I was younger. I got harassed for it, because by everyone's logic I really wasn't a "smart" kid if I didn't want to read Harry Potter. I did read the Twilight series, but I wasn't a Twilight fan I actually hated the series and let people know I did. Yes, I'm aware Stephanie Meyer has said ignorant shit like how in an interview she confessed she would have left her husband and kids for a vampire. However, at the end of the day the woman who would leave her family for a vampire isn't as evil as the woman who lobbies money for anti trans laws and actively looks for ways to hurt the trans community.

I just always got the ick from the Harry Potter franchise, sure I saw one or two films, just wasn't my thing and something in my gut told me not to get too invested. Very thankful I listened to my gut.

Yeah, no one should have ever harassed you for not liking Harry Potter, then or now. Some people like chunky peanut butter, some people like smooth. And that's coming from someone who, J.K. Rowling aside, absolutely loved the Harry Potter books and always will.

#Anonymous #actual blog post

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florsial · 2 months

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mhmm i’m obsessed with the visions i’m receiving from the xeno reblogs…pretty please share some more thoughts about him? love!

<3333!!

Xeno is honestly a character that i kind of always loved from afar? Like I never ventured further than their name but I built a type of vibe with them.

-One thing I always saw was him being Lucius' brother. It was the very first thing I saw when I started Harry Potter in like elementary and it stuck ever since I joined the Marauders.

-He's younger by 4 years than Lucius and about 3 years older than Pandora. His full name is Xenophillius Silas Malfoy. He's the second son and his mother's favorite because he was her son, not the Malfoys'. So she packed up and took him elsewhere for most of his life until Hogwarts where the Malfoy parents lived civilized. He officially meets his older brother when he's 11 and Lucius, a 15-year-old social climber.

-His relationship with Lucius is distant. Lucius is treated like the heir, his childhood is spent inside, lesson after lesson, pandering to the upper class, flattery, etc etc. But Xeno never had that, he lived in the English countryside, he was allowed outside whenever he pleased, he skipped etiquette lessons but was never punished, his curiosity was mostly about biology (which was how he developed a love for writing), and no one could or would tell him no. So there was a huge difference in their relationship. Lucius was appalled and Xeno was curious. There was also a sense of disappointment and jealousy on Lucius' part, he wanted someone who would understand the stress of being heir, or at least be brought up similarly to him, but Xeno was the complete opposite. Xeno was curious but quickly grew bored with the traditional Pureblood ways that Lucius kept trying to fit in his head. I think deep down, they really love each other, but they are just too different without any ties, no emotional ones that were formed when they should've, so that love really doesn't go beyond blood obligation. Not to mention their parents.

-Something fun is his gender. The only way I can describe it is that they're everything, but also nothing at the same time (technically they are genderqueer but I like that description better honestly). Gender doesn't exist to them. She thinks it's a constricting concept. Very pretty honestly. They are like weird, but in the prettiest way when they were with the Malfoys, but as they got older and further from their family, they kinda didn't give a fuck.

-They love white! It's their main color throughout most of his life. He thinks that it shows the process of thinking. Like a bare canvas. A lot of their formal robes were white and she's probably the brightest wizard (literally) that anyone could point out at a pureblood ball.

-I think he's a lot like how people imagine Pandora to be. While she's purposely eccentric because she loves it, Xeno is eccentric in a way he doesn't even realize it. Like he's talking about an obscure creature (that probably doesn't exist) and being hella judgy when you say you have no idea what he's saying. Pandora is intentionally cruel and cold, but Xeno isn't. I guess you could say he's a bit tone-deaf as well. Pandora is purposeful, Xeno is not.

-Definitely isolated. The moment he's shoved into the pureblood society, he cannot fit in. People think he's weird, he thinks they're boring. He is stubborn and doesn't agree with the high-class purebloods. He chills and writes by himself until Pandora comes around.

-Pandora "She asked for no pickles >:(" Rosier and Xenophillius "didn't want to say anything because it didn't matter :/" Malfoy <3

-Neutral during the war and ran away with Pandora, they created the last name, "Lovegood" while high off their ass in Xeno's last year at Hogwarts.

-REAL BUG ENTHUSIAST, he would take Luna out and hunt for bugs! I like to think Luna has one of those glass cases of preserved butterflies somewhere from when she was a kid. Xeno would have jars and jars of live bugs in his rooms at the Mafloy manner, all hidden and tucked under his bed. He refuses to allow anyone inside and "cleans" his room himself. All the jars are labeled neatly with stickers and names from fairytales.

-"Cleans": puts everything in a stack in the corner, a scatterbrain <3

-the Quibbler was made as a way to preserve Pandora's memory. They would write unpublished articles back at Hogwarts and Xeno would publish them and more when she died.

#xeno is what cottagecore tiktokers think they are #ngl he reminds me of my biology teacher #lucius mommy issues malfoy and xeno daddy issues lovegood #lily sees in the him in diagon ally after graduation with pandora and has to run to the nearest isolated location to heave into a brown bag #xenophilius lovegood #xenodora #marauders era #lucius malfoy #xenophilius malfoy #pandora x xenophilius #pandora rosier #the malfoy brothers

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angie-leena · 1 year

Text

But what if Hal found Post Resurrection/Pre Pit Jason. Like fresh out of his grave Jason. Not to be strict with any timeliness, but maybe after coming back from the dead Hal makes it a point to visit the Graves of lost loved ones and he has someone in Gotham and it's the worst horror show he can think of when the grave across the way is suddenly bursting open and someone is crawling out of it.

This someone is crying and Hal us a sucker for tears so he eventually gets himself together and good thing he does cuz this someone is a kid, and this kid is hurt. God someone beat this kid and buried him alive. Fucking Gotham

Hal doesn't stick around. He grabs the kid and bundles him up in the passenger seat of his car and takes off. It's pretty clear on the car ride that the kid isn't really aware. There's blood on his knuckles and his fingers are torn to shreds, from breaking out of a coffin wtf. There are no words, just whimpering and crying.

He asks the kid what happened, who did this to him and the kid just keeps crying and curling up in the seat but he's pretty sure he hears a soft, broken Dad through the tears.

Hal leaves Gotham.

The place fucking sucks and he's not about to leave this kid with the goddamned Bat. Fuck that guy and his fucking city.

It's still dark and raining when he gets home so no one sees him drag some shrimpy kid in a filthy suit into his apartment. That's too many questions he couldn't answer so thank god.

Getting the suit off him is the worst thing Hal's ever done he's sure. The kid isn't crying anymore but the dead glassy eyed look is definitely worse. The jacket snags on his jagged, ruined fingertips making them bleed again but there's no reaction. He almost throws up when he opens the shirt. There's deep bruising and small jagged cuts, but that's nothing compared to the huge fucking Y incision that spans his entire torso. The cut looks deep. Thick dark thread keeps it closed but the skin around it is bright red and puffy.

Someone tortured and vivisected and buried this kid alive in the middle of Gotham.

A hospital wasn't gonna help him. Or they would but then whoever did this to him would eventually find out he was alive. And what if they couldn't. What if he died after being a fucking survivor. He wasn't responding anymore and really who could blame him. This shit was traumatic as fuck. No matter what Hal asked him all he got was a dead eyed stare. He washed himself just fine and he got dressed into the clothes Hal handed him, black sweats and a big red hoodie he never wore, but other than that there was nothing.

Hal was not equipped to handle this. Hal had his own trauma he wasn't equipped to handle, there was no way he could add someone else's. But the kid was there. Staring off into space, silent tears running down his face every once in a while. His broken fingers twitched and his steps were unsteady when he moved. There was a huge Harry Potter looking scar on his forehead that ran up into his hairline and the hair around it was pure, bright white.

Hal had no idea what to do with him.

His ring beeped.

#jason todd #hal jordan #they go to Oa #cuz if Hal doesnt have answers John will #probably #i like to think Hal loses his actual shit when the guardians tell him that Jason was actually dead #they do heal him though #no lazarus pit means Jay stays a shrimpy little kid #who grows up in space #cuz his space dad refuses to let him go home #cuz Hal is convinced his dad did this to him #but that's fine cuz its not like jason remembers anything #jay isnt earthside for years until some big bad attacks and all the lanterns are needed #cuz obviously Jason becomes a green lantern like his space dad

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pebblysand · 20 days

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Hi! Thank you so much for writing Castles, it’s the Harry Potter post we’re story I always wanted to read. I love your characterization of the Potter kids, I especially love your take on Lily Luna, do you have a headcanon of what happens next with the kids, regarding their careers and personal lives, or do you want to leave it open to interpretation?

aw, thank you so much ❤️. so glad you enjoyed!

so: yes to both. i've obviously spent a lot of time thinking about the kids so i do have my headcanons (as far as the castles universe goes) but i'm also more than happy for people to have their own. IMO, i'm not the gold standard here. anything that happens in my head that i chose not to put in the fic is not castles-canon. you can totally have your own versions of this.

having said that, here's what i think:

(moodboard from my outline. yes, they're all ridiculously hot.)

career-wise:

you already see this at the end of castles, but i think james joins the WWW family business, but opening up an "events" side of things, which he runs. he's 100000% a nepo-baby who uses his parents' fame to build up his address book and be the star of the show, lmao. but... we still love him hahaha. he's got a good heart 😅. i sort of see him as the david guetta (lmao) of the wizarding world. i think he likes to entertain people, allow them to have fun and forget their worries, etc. he's very into quidditch but like his father, he's not really interested in making it a career. it's too much hard work/investment. i think james is generally more interested in having fun than in... working 🤣. i also headcanon he lives at his parents' past 30 because it's just convenient. he's that kid who's always asking for money to invest in a potential business venture - has 50 new ideas per hour (not all conclusive) - and ginny's always kind of kindly but firmly bringing him back down to earth. harry would give him the entire contents of his vaults to open a solid-gold-cauldron business 🤣.

personal life:

friendships/family: as described in the fic, he's got a lot of friends, he's a people person, and someone who loves to bridge wizards and muggles. he truly cares about people - i think he's got a bit of teddy's hufflepuff side in that. he's got great relationships with his parents and his siblings, beyond the standard, mild-rivalry that is normal in kids that age. i think he gets on with al because underneath their obvious differences, they have the same sense of humour. i think he feels very big-brotherly and protecting towards lily, and they have good banter. he also massively admires her.

love life: this is hinted at in text but james has a bit of a rough time in his mid-to-late 20s. i headcanon that he gets a Serious Girlfriend pretty early on (probably around 18/19), who he madly falls in love with. i kind of think underneath the whole chill/party vibes, james is a hopeless romantic so when he falls, he falls hard. he's got his parents example in his head of what relationships should look like, and obviously harry and ginny have such a strong relationship, that he wants that for himself, and gives it his all and thinks it's Forever. that girl ends up cheating on him and i think he takes it pretty fucking hard, especially because this happens while lily is in mongolia, all of which sort of sends him spiralling. you kind of see that between the lines in chapter 24: the partying, the sleeping around, etc. kind of like his mother... kind of like his father, too, possibly, had he not met mia. as said in text, there's a lot of press about him, and it's not always nice. without the nazi-costume wearing (i don't think james is stupid enough to do that kind of shit) i headcanon him a bit like prince harry in his early days. in a weird way (as is also hinted at in castles), i think lily coming back re-anchors him. they play video games and have each other's back and heal together, in a way.

later, i headcanon him meeting someone else, maybe in his late 20s and early 30s. i think he's pretty cautious at first, due to past experiences, but she is The One. i headcanon she's a squib or something, or the muggle sibling of a wizard, someone non-magical but who is aware of the magical world, perhaps a doctor or a nurse, someone very out of the spotlight, who's not really interested in who he is or who his parents are, who's there for him, but also understands the pressures he's under. i don't know if they have kids. i can't decide. i strangely headcanon that maybe she doesn't want them? like, she's this doctor who loves children and loves helping people but also feels like she'd rather dedicate her life to others than to have her own. i think james would be happy either way, she's pretty much his world and he loves her enough for that not to matter. or, maybe they have one later, in their late-30s early 40s, once their careers and lives are really established? i'm not entirely sure.

(yes this was done with AI. you would not believe how hard it is to find black-haired guys with green eyes that aren't trying to be harry potter himself online 😅)

career-wise: oh, al becomes a professor. obviously. i sort of see him do a PhD in muggle history, then specialising in the study of war and parallels between muggle and wizarding history. i think that's the way he manages to wrap his head around and understand what happened to his family. he's in a perpetual search of meaning and patterns, understanding how history repeats itself. i think that sort of study reassures him and provides him comfort, knowing that it's not just him, not just them, that there's meaning and purpose behind all of it. i see him teach (i think he's a great teacher, like his father) - maybe in hogwarts or maybe in a post-grad setting, i'm not 100% sure. i kind of lean towards the latter cause i don't think binns is ever giving up his seat 🤣.

i also see him as rather CASHCOW-involved. like, i think studying war like he does makes him want to do something. he's not necessarily the flashy, loud kind of brave, but he is still very brave, and very opinionated. i do think he's also very close to his mother and cares a lot about the things she started with #metoo and the book, so perhaps he gets involved in that side of things.

personal life:

friendships/family: i think his relationship with his family is pretty much established in castles, i don't have much else to add. he's independent, sure, but still very close to them all. i think he's the kind of person who, unlike james, has a small but very tight-knit circle of people around him, and that suits him fine. he has a few but very close friends.

love life: oh, scorpius is the love of his life. that's it. they have the kind of relationship we all dream of: easy and supportive and loving. i think the main difficulty they probably have is scorpius struggling to come out to his father a bit, but i reckon that happens eventually. i 10000% headcanon them having kids. i think they adopt. i think al has his mother's faith in people and the future, and so it makes sense he would want to pass that on.

(my CHILD!! my war hero!!)

career-wise: i think that's hard. for her. coming back. i headcanon her taking care of the museum for a while. i think she's back and forth to mongolia quite a lot in the early years as well, because she cares about the people she left there. she probably works at the shop, or with james for a bit as well, helping out. i do think eventually (maybe a few years later - she is almost 20 when she comes back to england, so maybe when she's 23/24), she takes her NEWTs, and albus helps her study. i think that brings them closer. i could see her getting into politics later on. being a wizengamot member or something, not someone who's ever going to really get into power, but more of an agitator, someone who says the hard things and truly tries to change the world.

personal life:

friendships/family: all of this is pretty much established in the fic/above so i won't come back on it. i will say that sadly, because of POV constraints, i couldn't quite explore her relationship with her mother, but i think they have a pretty good one (as much as mothers and daughters can - lol). i think although it's hard, she has a lot more support coming back and healing than harry and ginny ever had.

love life: this sort of ties in to the above but i think lily is someone who values friendship and platonic love a lot more than most people, and a lot more than society does. i'm not sure i entirely headcanon her as ace/aro, but i do think she's someone who doesn't really need romantic love to be happy. she cares and loves very deeply, but she doesn't need to be in a Relationship like most people do. i do think she's generally attracted to men, and i think there are a few lovers in her life that are very, very important to her, but she never feels the need to put a label on it or be someone's Person. she is the world's Person.

in a weird way, though, i do headcanon her having kids. i almost see her as having them and raising them in a commune sort of setting (lol), with friends and people she truly cares about. i headcanon the father to be someone she... loves, even they're not in a conventional sort of relationship. i think she's happy, though. i think lily's happy.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

Teddy Remus Lupin:

i never made a moodboard for teddy, i think because his face constantly changes lol. i either see him as becoming a musician or a wandmaker. i couldn't decide, so i hinted at both in the fic. you can pick one lol. or, maybe, he starts out with one with the other as a hobby, then switches things around when he gets bored. i think he's just a creative person, who loves making things. i think romantically, he's probably with victoire, they have cute babies.

Naran:

i sort of headcanon naran as moving back to england eventually. it's heavily hinted at in castles but, in a strange way that most immigrants will recognise, mongolia is her home but it's also... not her home. she says it to harry in chapter 23, she's in between spaces, neither truly english nor truly mongolian. most of her formative years are spent in england, and i think, a little bit like ron who, after the most urgent rebuilding is done, quits the ministry, she, i think, moves back to london, probably in her mid-twenties. i do think she's back and forth a lot, very involved, but ultimately, her home is lily. i'm not sure whether she marries or has kids, that's up to you.

#castles #asked and answered

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