#using them in most situations even if everyone else is

[batsandbirdbrains]

I need an au where Batman doesn’t reveal his identity to the Justice League until after Nightwing joins. But it’s just Bruce who takes off the cowl, maybe during a meeting where Nightwing was busy with Blüdhaven or Titans things and couldn’t attend.

It had been after a huge family meeting. A series of family meetings, really, held in the Batcave. Because the batkids want everyone to know (several select friends on their respective teams already knew but were sworn to secrecy), and they were tired of wearing masks all the time (both figuratively and literally, especially during downtime team bonding sort of situations).

So Bruce Wayne is revealed to the Justice League. And the whole Batfamily relaxes, because Bruce has insisted, always insisted, that if one of them revealed their identities, the rest would follow like dominoes. It was so obvious, Bruce insisted. They didn’t work with complete morons, he said.

Then one day an abrupt meeting is called, they received urgent intel on a case they’d been tracking for months now. But Bruce and Dick had been at a charity event, so they decided to just show up in civvies since most others would no doubt be arriving in a similar fashion. It was an abrupt meeting, yes, but as of now there was no plan to immediately head out and act on the intel. Besides, they can always use the spare suits the keep on the Watchtower.

But then when they arrive in the meeting room (last, unfortunately, because they’d been held up by reporters), the whole room goes stiff.

“I know you told us your identity,” Green Lantern huffs, muttering and it’s still really weird under his breath, “but you can’t just bring your kid up to our headquarters!”

There are many murmurs of agreement, and Bruce scoffs while Dick lets out a snort of a laugh.

Bruce is so offended that:

Hal Jordan thinks he has any right to try and scold him

Hal Jordan is trying to tell him where he can and cannot bring his kids when Bruce funds damn near the entire Justice League out of his own pocket

And that Dick is now looking at him with the smuggest smirk he’s had on his face in years.

“So you were wrong,” Dick says in a sing-song voice. “What have you been telling me for YEARS now? You can’t tell your friends, Dick, it’s not just your secret! You said. You can’t tell anyone or else the whole family will be found out, Dick! You said. We don’t work with a bunch of complete morons, Dick! You said. Puh-lease.”

Dick is smirking at him, and Bruce covers his eyes with a palm, resisting the urge to groan.

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m gonna say it!”

“Don’t say it, Dick.”

“I told you so!” Dick says in his snottiest voice. “I told you so, I told you so, I told you so! Jay and Timmy both owe me two-hundred bucks! I’ve been telling you so since I was eight years old!”

“The Justice League didn’t even form until you were ten.”

“That’s beside the point!” Dick says flippantly, then skips over to the pair of chairs Batman and Nightwing usually sit in. He plops down in Nightwing’s usual seat, still smirking, and throws his feet up on the table while the gaggle of superheroes watches him with their eyes bugging out of their heads. “Nice to formally meet’cha, without the mask of course. I’m Dick Grayson, but you all know me as Nightwing.”

Bruce lets out the most exhausted sigh they’ve ever heard, and he sits down heavily in his usual seat.

“Please tell me Damian was not included in your little betting ring.”

“Oh of course he was. Jason and Tim both owe him a hundred dollars. I get double since I’m the one who got to prove you wrong.” Dick is already texting Damian to get the security footage as proof. They have to keep it separate so Tim can’t delete it.

“Wait a minute,” Flash says, “are all the Waynes vigilantes?”

Dick snorts, then giggles, then looks at the constipated look on Bruce’s face and giggles some more.

“It’s a family tradition!” Dick says. “Gotta train your pre-pubescent kids to follow after the Bat, after all.”

“That’s enough,” Bruce grunts, and it’s so jarring for them all to see him use Batman’s tone with Brucie’s face. “Don’t we have intel to discuss?”

“Right, right,” someone says, then clears their throat. “So our inside source got us these documents…”

The meeting continues as normal, but Dick looks over at Bruce after a couple minutes and wiggles his eyebrows. Bruce slaps him upside the head and tells him in a hushed whisper to pay attention.

“How did we not know that was his dad?” Hal whispers to Barry.

Barry just shrugs. Bruce glares at both of them, and they shut up instantly and turn back to whoever’s presenting. Dick is practically giddy.

[diabolicalevil]

The headcanons on if they would beg during a breakup tickled my toes pretty well so i would like to request them showing up at some event and it turns out it’s their beloveds wedding (lmao they aint the groom). How butthurt would they be? Would they object and stop the wedding? I feel like some of them would probably sob as the exchange of vows start and play it off like they’re crying happy tears or something, others might literally nuke the entire place and kill everyone (a bit specific but i would love to read your thoughts and headcanons on this devious scenario😈😈)

Primarchs reaction to your wedding with another man

gn!reader

so @thethronezone has already made a post like this and I just wanted to mention that espc cause I share similiar thoughts but I'll take a crack at it ! most are rather light hearted

Warnings: none

Lion El'johnson: would challenge them to a duel I think. for performances sake, he knows he is going to win. he's saddened and lion is lion so this appears as rage. to your groom most likely but there would also be an element of "Why didn't you stop this?" even if you were forced into it

Fulgrim: would object. I don't think this is universal but if someone objects to a wedding it has to be called off until its sorted out. in that however long time he's going PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE until you agree not to marry them. if all else fails he can simply take you that's also an option

Perturabo: seething like Fuck. he's in and he's out, if he stays he'll just destroy the place. believes you've abandoned him and will spend the rest of his life despising you

Jaghatai Khan: stand away from your husband for one (1) minute and ur gone. eloped, kidnapped, stolen whatever you wanna call it he has you now

Leman Russ: I think he'd kill. maybe. I dunno. I think collectively the Space Wolves would sabotage the wedding

Rogal Dorn: white knuckling until his skin matches his hair. he's trying so hard to be normal, be happy even. but he cannot and he wants to pummel the grooms face. it depends what he thinks is best for you. if you love the groom he will bite his tongue and live with the hurt but if you don't he'll object. and the weddings already on so he has to make that guess quickly

Konrad Curze: KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN

Sanguinius: in actual tears, sad wet man he is. if he doesn't get a moment with you he'll continue the part of an angel even with tears pricking his eyes. if he does he'll beg you to rethink. and if that fails. air strikes

Ferrus Manus: angry, surprisingly. the hurt is there but it's overshadowed. he thinks you're being a fool, that this is completely illogical and he is obviously the correct choice. he only settles down when the thought that maybe his sons were right about humanity crosses his mind. he is livid but that he will not tolerate

Angron: KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN (sad vers)

Roboute Guilliman: knows the wedding will be called off if he objects and that's why he does it immediately. any loop hole, any reason he can find to take you. you would expect him to be more level headed about the ordeal but he's frantic and desperate to put a stop to this

Mortarion: jesus Christ. the most butt hurt of the primarchs and yet he wouldn't object, wouldn't even stay long. he'd give snarky congratulations and insult your husband and would never face you again. not because he doesn't want to, quite the opposite. he just fears the facade would crumble if you ever met again

Magnus: mind control

Horus Lupercal: object and he's the most. I don't wanna say sassy. and I just used snarky. he's the most Cunt about it. he acts as if he has no doubt you will return to him but internally he's losing it that he's lost control of the situation this bad

Lorgar Aurelian: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Vulkan: for once he's somber and quiet, like it's a funeral rather than a wedding. he wants to believe you're happy and that you chose this but another part of him is eagle eyed for any reason to sweep you away back to Nocturne

Corvus Corax: also silent, shocker I know. it kills him but it works. he knew your relationship wasn't destined to last and as long as you're happy it's a more effective way of being able protecting you from the shadows. if your husband is the danger however. uh. mysteriously dismembered in a river. so sad

Alpharius/Omegon: ok. so. a few options. 1, they knew and are willing to give you up. 2, they knew and the wedding is sabotaged. 3, your husband is an alpha legion plant. 4, they are going to kill and replace your husband. take ur pick man

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

do you believe that leona's writing in book 3 is terrible like with book 2?

No, I think that most instances of writing for Leona outside of book 2 are pretty solid. Book 3 doesn’t fix the mistakes of 2, but it’s WAY better at showing of who he is (both the good and the bad) than 2 ever was.

2 actively made Leona appear unintelligent (such as not accounting for Malleus being able to magically poof to safety, making Savanaclaw the obvious culprit by having NONE of his own students injured, not considering how this could affect international relationships, etc.). In book 3, Leona can actually show his cunning. For example, he decides to kill two birds with one stone by using our plea for help as a means to destroy a contract he had previously made with Azul. Leona thus took advantage of a situation to help himself out. He figures out the trick with the golden contracts and devises a plan that involves deception and distraction to steal them from under Azul’s nose. We would NOT have been able to pull any of this off on our own, which only further emphasizes how smart and helpful Leona can be (if he’s on our side).

Another thing I enjoy is book 3 showcasing Leona’s values. He makes us fight mobs to earn the right to sleep over at Savanaclaw—and yeah, it’s a dick move, but it’s great for Leona’s character. It shows us that he “walks the walk” and expects the same of others. Leona can slack because his intelligence and magical ability affords him this. He’s under no obligation whatsoever to house a few randos, but he’s willing to do it if they can prove themselves to him. He’s staying true to his own convictions and rewarding merit, the very thing he wants to be judged for, NOT his position in life or order of birth. If anything, Leona isn’t discriminating against us and is actually giving us a (literal) fighting chance.

Finally (although this is a minor thing compared to everything else I mentioned), I like how book 3 shows us how unabashedly arrogant and jerkish Leona can be to his peers. He goads Azul about the contracts and even gives him false hope by offering to negotiate with him 💀 which is REALLY petty and circles back around to being hilarious to me. (I realize not everyone will agree with this interpretation, so take it with a grain of salt.)

[kalesaladd]

a little dew x phantom thing i wrote for fun!

tldr: bug is the cutest ever, dew is a grumpy little guy but a softie at heart, and rain is a proud wingman (of sorts). all my ghoul boys get a happy ending in my barbie dream house :)

so much fluff it’s almost too much under the cut!

thinking about phantom, who is more than used to dew being a little standoffish with everyone but rain, especially when it comes to physical affection. and he’s fine with that… for the most part.

he just wants so badly for dew to like him, to feel comfortable with him, to trust him. but he’s accepted that at this point, even though it’s been a while since he was summoned, he’ll just have to go without dew’s affection. and yes… it stings, but at least everyone else is more than willing to cuddle our little bug whenever he wants! still, it hurts every time dew steps past him in favor of rain’s arms.

he’s so used to it, that when he’s laying on the couch watching tv with rain after a long rehearsal day, he’s unable to get comfortable. he’s anxious because he knows that when dew comes in looking exhausted… he’ll curl up next to rain, leaving bug painfully alone until someone else hopefully makes their way to the common room for some tv time.

so when dew finally does make an appearance, looking like he was dragged out of the pits just moments earlier, phantom unintentionally holds his breath. even though he knows what’s about to happen, he also knows it’s going to hurt like hell when dew makes no effort to acknowledge him.

that’s why it surprises the hell out of him when dew shuffles over to his side of the room and flops down on top of him.

for a second phantom just lays there. his mind is blank, he’s as stiff as a board, and he has no conceivable idea what he’s supposed to do in this situation. he’s convinced that dew must have mistaken him for rain because of how dark it is in the common room. either that… or he must be hallucinating.

but when dew turns his face and nuzzles it into his neck, phantom snaps out of his trance. he’s still laying there frozen when dew wraps his arms around his middle, unsure if this is actually happening. phantom turns his head the tiniest amount to look over at rain, hoping to find some help, or at least some acknowledgment that he’s not dreaming.

when they lock eyes, he’s entirely surprised to find that his water ghoul friend is already looking at him, grinning ear to ear, looking happier than he’s ever seen him. all of a sudden, it hits phantom that this is real, that dew really did choose to lay with him instead of rain, and that he better take full advantage of the situation.

so bug gingerly wraps his arms around dew’s waist in return, trying his best to calm his erratic breathing and slow his rapid pulse. for the first few minutes, he continued to look over to rain for reassurance. he’s wanted this for so long, he can hardly believe it’s real, and he wants to make sure he’s not going to fuck it up. he can’t fuck this up.

and sitting on the couch across from them is an entirely too giddy rain, who is just so happy that dew is finally letting his guard down with bug. he knows dew is rough around the edges, and that he only truly gives up the tough guy act around those who make him feel comfortable… which is hardly anyone. it took dew ages to warm up to him, and rain genuinely didn’t think he’d live to see it happen with any of the other ghouls - especially not a newbie.

but when rain met phantom? he just knew that their sweet little bug would find a way to crack dew’s heart wide open and make a home there for himself. he’s been waiting for this day for months. he’s actually so confident that bug has finally won dew over, that he thinks bug can pull off a special little move rain has perfected - one that’s saved for when dew is extra grumpy and tired, one that’s sure to have him melting even further into phantom.

so rain gets phantom’s attention, and he mimes to bug that he should scratch dew’s head, right up near his horns. phantom goes wide-eyed, subtly shaking his head at rain. bug is worried, no, terrified, that dew is gonna freak out if he tries to make it even the least bit more intimate, and then this whole thing will be ruined. months of hard work down the drain, possibly for good, but rain just nods his head in encouragement, still smiling like phantom has never seen him smile before.

and well, like phantom always hears dew say: go big, or go home.

his hand is shaking, and his heart is pounding, but he goes for it, gently placing his hand on top of dew’s head. when dew doesn’t immediately pull away, phantom starts softly scratching his head, right around the base of his horns like rain had shown him.

dew stiffens up, and phantom’s breath catches in his throat. he wills himself to stay put, to not run away or start crying… and then it happens. dew does melt. he almost immediately starts purring, burying his face deeper into the area between bug’s neck and shoulder, and lets out the biggest, happiest sigh phantom has ever heard a ghoul make.

and suddenly, all is right in the world.

[vixenscratch]

What I do seems to be the opposite of what everyone else does, so, like. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, don’t follow my example.

I’ve found that the worst thing I can do is to wait until the stars align. I have someone holding me to “draw one thing a day, if it’s a stick figure that’s fine, but draw something.” (If there’s a reason to skip a day, then of course it’s okay to skip a day, just record the reason.) Because for me, if I try to wait it out, I will get anything done approximately never.

I don’t have anyone looking over my shoulder to keep me in the habit of writing, but the principle is similar. I stopped writing for years, almost completely. The only thing that helped get me started again was giving myself a low daily word count that I knew I could reach (and you can forgo the word count entirely and just make it “write something”), allowing the writing to be bad, allowing it all to be disconnected bits and pieces, random scenes that didn’t go together at all, the important thing was to train my brain to Sit Down And Write. Waiting for inspiration has just never worked for me. (Which doesn’t mean I don’t write when inspiration strikes, just that I very carefully don’t depend on it.)

A lot of it, in that initial stage, was sticking an existing character into a situation and seeing where it goes, how they react to it. Sometimes it was a random situation with random characters who didn’t exist before and wouldn’t be used again afterwards. (Most of what I write is original fiction, so insert your canon blorbos instead if that brings you joy.)

Doing that for a while shook things loose to where I could write shorts again. That’s when Fox Out of Water (shameless plug 😉) happened. Some day I will come back to those characters.

Right now I’m hopelessly wormbrained about a particular character/pairing, so I have like two dozen WIPs in various stages of completion and can’t take a walk without turning some situation involving them around in my head. But I don’t get there unless I train my brain to think writing. Having a friend to smash dolls together with helps, but I if anyone know that if you don’t already have them those friends can be difficult to find. (But I also play very rough with my toys so that limits my options more than if I was primarily writing fluff.)

I don’t need to make myself sit down and write every day right now. I can skip days and don’t keep track of what or when I write. If I feel like I have gone too long without writing I cycle through my WIPs and read through, often ending up tweaking something here or adding a sentence there, even when I don’t find the can-do to add more than that.

And sometimes I don’t stick to the WIPs, and just write a random scene/situation that’s been rattling around in my head during those walks.

For me the important thing seems to be training my brain to do the work. And sometimes the work sucks. That’s fine. I can “throw it out” (leave it in an earlier version of the draft or move it to a scratch document) later. But if I don’t do that, time gets away from me and before I know it I’ll have gone years without writing again. And I don’t want that. If I hit a point where I realize I’ve gone “too long” without writing I go back to making myself write something, anything, daily for a while.

That’s just what works for me, though. Evidently a lot of people feel very differently. Funny how different brains work (genuinely!).

Hi! Lately, I've been trying real hard to start writing again after a break of a couple of years, and it's simply not happening. I took the break to begin with because I figured that I could pick up writing fic again easily when I felt less burned out. But each time I've tried since 2025 started I can barely get the words out. I keep telling myself I need to go slow and build up to it, but my brain blanks after a sentence or two, with or without an outline. I can force myself into a drabble or two, or even a flashfic, but it feels like pulling teeth the entire time. I even tried going back to old drafts and adding to them (unsuccessfully). Nothing works! I'm getting more and more frustrated and angry with myself for taking this long of a break from being creative. Do you have any concrete recommendations for what to do when the ideas/words/characters/whatever just aren't coming? My brain is mush.

(I love this blog. So excited to see you back.)

I'll tell you what I do, but I also want to encourage folks to add their thoughts on the notes. This is very much a situation that can be worked on in a million different ways, so any one particular take might or might not work. Often, frankensteining a bunch together is the better route.

I've currently got two creative hobbies: writing fic and making site skins for AO3. When a site skin isn't working, I just have to drop it. I've been attempting to redo my glowy blue Tron skin from like 4 years ago and every time I go back to it, I just get frustrated and need to stop. I don't have a clear idea of where I want to take it, and so nothing looks "right" because everything feels wrong. For site skins, I need to have a solid idea to latch onto in order to get anywhere with them.

For writing, it's kind of similar. It's a LOT easier to write when I have an idea that really lights a fire under me. However, I've found that I can write even if I just know what the end goal of the story is. Even if my ending is just "and then they bone" at least I know where I need to get my characters in the end, and that guiding principle is really helpful because most of what my characters do in the fic is going to be aimed at that end point.

I don't know if it's just the way that you've phrased it in this ask, but it seems like you can't see the story for the words. If you're focused too much on the act of writing then you might need to back away from that for now and work on just imagining the story first. Spend more time daydreaming or lying in bed staring up at the ceiling and picturing your blorbo in situations. Get into the habit of thinking about the story before you start writing the story. Then the writing part is just transcribing the picture that's already clear in your head.

I well understand the frustration that comes when you've got something in you and no way to get it out. Whatever else is happening, the way you used to go about writing fic doesn't work for you anymore and now you need to discover a new method. Maybe it's handwriting in a notebook instead of typing on a screen. Maybe it's dictating into your notes app. Maybe it's chatting it out with a bestie over coffee or in a DM. Maybe it's something else.

Let's see what other people suggest for you, and then you can cobble together a method of your very own. Good luck, anon! I'm rooting for you ❤️

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x17, "all in"

hit it, lady gaga. does it count as a poker face if you're talking over the phone, though?

and if i said this is my "three stories?" would that break your trust in me?

it doesn't do the same story work as 1x21, nor is it all that innovative in its presentation, and YES, it's a bit gimmicky, but i love her (2x17). next to 5x04, it's probably my most watched, which is why i was surprised when i realized i don't have a ton to say! one of 2x17's strengths is its directness/efficiency, so this recap may just read like a big appreciation post, more than anything else.

and what i want to appreciate first is how wonderful everyone looks :)

foreman is kinda real for that lol ^

second, i think someone told the writers' room what "haunting the narrative" meant when they started drafting this episode and they Ran with it. apart from reinforcing house's addiction to the puzzle and reaffirming his godhood along the way, i couldn't decipher much more about the old patient esther. the king james bible dictionary (lmfao) says that the name comes from the old persian word for star, "satarah," which could allude to a sort of northern star situation; something that house strives for. but it's also a stereotypical old people name, and house as god is actually deconstructed by the end of 2x17, so who knows.

at a textual level, what i liked the most about 2x17 was its self-awareness about its driving theme/allegory: gambling & games of chance is like diagnostics. audiences are fully down with the sickness atp, so to speak; this isn't news for us. but the kid patient ian and his parents are NOT down with this. every time the team unveils a new potential diagnosis, the parents try to roll with the punches but grow increasingly restless and distrustful of house. fair enough!

the team's stress mounts as ian begins tanking just like esther did twelve years ago, and right around the time that the party has about 2 hours to go, so does ian. their desperation turns to a numbers/instinct game, with house having a very Always Bet On Black moment with his repeated erdheim chester diagnosis. it ends in his favor; his celebration is very much that of a gambling addict, too. but remember this for later!

back to self-consciousness: house and wilson have a very interesting conversation when rehashing the esther saga from twelve years ago. wilson, because he's a theatre/literature/pop culture nerd (a man after my own heart), reasonably compares esther to house's own personal moby dick. house replies with a short tirade against metaphors:

"you do realize that the point of metaphors is to scare people from doing things by telling them that something much scarier is going to happen than what really will happen? god, i wish i had a metaphor to explain that better."

first, i have to laugh because house does nothing but use metaphors every chance he can to describe things from the mundane to the medically complex. but more importantly, here, house md is directly acknowledging the shakiness of the metaphor of gambling/doctors. its anticipating the audience's renewed anxiety - will my health be reduced to such a turbulent guessing game? - and maybe even taking a stab at repairing that anxiety. i think this is so clever!! i love manipulating and acknowledging the genre!

this discomfort translates to house, too, like i've alluded to above. esther really does haunt his narrative, and we've never seen him outwardly celebrating cracking a case like this one before. he himself is unwilling to admit to the gambling/doctoring dichotomy, either, because it would reinforce his fallibility. even when cuddy directly (and rightfully) attacks him for hijacking the case, he doesn't totally relent.

"sometimes you lose, house! you're not god!"

very, very true and important and telling!

house's fallibility isn't just thrown in his face via dialogue or inward self-doubt, however. it's obviously unusual for house specifically to be dressed so formally ever since the vogler/lab coat debacle. but as the case progresses, the pomp and circumstances of the poker tournament fall away. while the fellows don their lab coats and Doctor Gear, house strips down:

his second to last iteration is the sterile gown he wears while sitting next to ian with cuddy. i like how this transfers this motif to cuddy, too. they're both without their pretty poker night outfits, united in a cleanroom with concern. that happens a lot - the patient's urgency trumps their tension/pettiness. subtle but forever mounting moments of solidarity between them.

the revelation that it was, in fact, erdheim chester all along in ian and esther's cases superficially restores house's poker face. he's reclaimed that godhood card - on the surface. wilson delivers cuddy's same point in another instance of vulnerability like the cleanroom moment. this time, the text of 2x17 hands wilson the self-consciousness reins. he forces house to confront the immense gamble he won, and their resulting laughter is one the audience can join in:

in Every Way, this scene is stripped back. the hospital is actively disassembling the poker night decorations/paraphernalia. they aren't using poker chips anymore. their clothes are in equal states of disarray; i don't quite understand why wilson hung back for so long lol. and house's cigar is lit, whereas in the first poker game, it was a prop to irritate and see through wilson and cuddy's poker faces. now wilson can see through its literal smokescreen.

this is also the first time house/wilson and cigars makes landfall. i'm obsessed with this motif.

better yet, house doesn't call. he doesn't try to read wilson - he's too busy being read for filth himself. i truly love this scene, especially when you think about all the pseudo-marital problems they've been having lmfao.

finally, i need to address the Hudson Psychosexual Games of it all. they play THROUGH wilson. the trifecta is trifecta-ing. for now, this reads as an isolated incident, and showcases how well these 3 know each other. i like that it finally invites cuddy into the mix since she'll quickly become integral to house and wilson and all the rest in a way that's not fully realized yet. more than that, i like how she and house can see through the communication barrier. above all, however, i'm obsessed with the thrill wilson gets from the arrangement. freak. obviously there's more to come on this matter >:)

i just love this episode. 10/10. no notes. and look how happy he is that he won the tournament! never mind that he couldn't have done it without house's help! he beat burman, from business affairs! (i can recite his dialogue here from memory).

i'm gonna throw up.

[yuikomorii]

So, reading that "Daylight" scene, a thought suddenly hit me—isn't Ayato kind of... selfish? I mean, sure, he's willing to sacrifice himself, degrade himself, throw away his worth—but not really for others. It's more like he does it so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of being left behind. That whole “I’ll die first so I don’t feel the pain if you leave” mindset? That’s not exactly selfless.

And with Laito, it’s obvious he feels guilty for not helping him in the past. So now he’s ready to go to extremes—not necessarily to help Laito, but to get rid of that guilt and stop feeling like trash. I’m not saying he has bad intentions, but let’s be honest—most of them seem driven by his need to protect himself first.

So... does that make him selfish, in a way? Not in the obvious “I don’t care about others” kind of way, but in the deeper, quiet kind—where everything he does, even the self-sacrifice, is still about protecting himself from pain?

(I'm reaaally obsessed with this page lately! Love it 😍!)

// You probably didn’t mean it in a bad way, but please be more mindful of your words. There are people who relate to Ayato’s behavior in those situations, so calling it selfish can come across as really hurtful. Sure, Ayato doesn’t like sharing you and sometimes acts without thinking, which can get him or others into trouble. However, when it comes to his self-sacrificing/sui€idal tendencies, those are definitely NOT selfish. >_<

Low self-esteem drives Ayato to degrade himself and accept suffering in some scenes, therefore his sacrifice is more like a form of fairness or self-hatred, not self-centeredness. While it’s true that guilt can be selfish if someone is just trying to get rid of uncomfortable feelings, Ayato doesn’t seek comfort, rather he’s willing to endure pain to do justice because he’s grown tired of watching those he cares about suffer. Pretty reminder that he truly cherishes his own life, so the fact that he’s up to risk it for someone else shows just how deeply he cares for that person, way more than he cares for himself.

In Daylight, Ayato was pushed to the edge of ending his own life because he was traumatized by that hyper-realistic nightmare. He sees himself as nothing more than a burden standing in the way of your happiness. He knows all too well that he can’t control his bloodthirst and the thought of hurting you terrifies him, because it’s the last thing he wants. More than anything, he just wants you to live a happy life, without having to waste it on someone like him.

At the same time, he’s extremely scared of being left completely alone. From a young age, he was taught never to show weakness or vulnerability. That lesson only got harsher later on, like in LE, where his insecurities were used against him, and worst of all, his own brothers were the first to turn on him when they saw him struggling.

Ayato is used to pretending he’s fine when he’s really not, but eventually, everyone needs someone they can truly open up to, and for him that person is Yui. Not having anyone who accepts you as you are is incredibly sad, so when you finally find someone who understands you and likes all of you, you start holding onto them tightly. Yui accepts him as he is and that kind of acceptance gives him strength. It makes him cling to her, not out of desperation, but because she’s the only person he can truly be himself around. But when someone like that dies (and even worse when it’s because of you), that’s a wound that’s impossible to heal. Ayato doesn’t want to be the cause of your suffering and he fears returning to the loneliness he’s always known. Unlike the others, who all have someone to stand by them and support them, Ayato only has Yui. So when she’s gone, his entire world collapses, and he’s left drowning in loneliness once more, with no one to pull him back to the surface. That type of pain is simply too unbearable.

Credit to: dialovers-translations and kyouxa

[dteamain]

honestly don’t know what to think about all this and everyone seems to be everywhere as well why must the boat be rocked so consistently in this fandom

there are many opinions flying around and lowkey i think many have some grounds behind them. i will go deeper for the love of the game

detailed breakdown of fandom drama below read at your own risk

tl;dr

dream isn’t evil he just some guy that could prehaps do himself some favours but can’t we all

i will try to break this down in chronological order to best get my thoughts out there may be some jumping

gf reveal:

i think no matter what he did or how he did it this was going to cause some fandom craziness. which is fine. people react to change this is so common and so normal. i think some missteps were one having his gf interact with fans before the hard launch it gave some of his most intense fans a way to seem like they had something others didn’t which never ends well i feel like if he launched the gf then she interacted with fans it would lesson the opportunity for people to spread rumours about how she interacted with people which would then maybe lesson the ‘dox’ (i use this for lack of a better word) phase everyone dreams attached to suffers.

i also think another misstep was the dranart account i think it’s okay to have a s/o helping you run things, i think it’s okay to play into unserious shipping with the fans a bit with harmless jokes about your friend, i even think it’s okay to let people think you’re behind an account your not to create some ‘magic’ and fun in the fandom. however all three together, having your s/o play into ships while running an account for you that you said you were behind is like muddying the waters a bit and while i don’t deeply care about this i can acknowledge that this dynamic could make people upset with how it may be perceived .

this will be a recurring theme but i think dreams biggest honest to god crime is sometimes not seeing things from a fans perspective. like yes from his pov in this situation he may think all this is stupid and unfounded but he has much more insight then anyone else. taking a step back and acknowledging that fans have a warped perception naturally could go a long way.

snf vs dream hangout battle:

i think this was all supposed to be playful banter that kinda blew out of proportion. once again i think dream isn’t acknowledging the natural warped fan pov. we obviously aren’t around to see their in depth convos that mixed with the fact that at literally any point any one of them can be misconstruing the truth (not on purpose i don’t think) how are we supposed to know who’s telling the truth. also the opposite stories are just funny at this point (snf saying he will always say no and dream saying they never ask in the first place) also i think they need to meet in the middle i don’t think snf should have to plan out every little detail for dream to have to agree to show up i also don’t think it’s fair on dream if they are throwing shit on him last minute everytime when he is busy. however there is definitely times we have seen dream lurking while they are live and joining in those moments could be an olive branch he can extend.

at the end of the day they could all benefit if they were all a little more flexible with their expectations (we would benefit too)

cursed 5 am (pr?) space and resulting reddit spree:

first off i will always believe dream just needs to stay off reddit but allas.

for this occasion i’m going to start backwards with the reddit spree first.

i’ll start off by saying dream is an adult and he can be upset at what he wants but for the sake of me providing some breakdown i will be criticizing this lol.

once again the warped fan perception (and maybe a little denial on his part) so if we hit the snf stuff again he’s upset that fans feel he aired things out from what i could gather. however from a typical fans perspective we have had history of snf expressing that they don’t like when he gives timelines and goes into their projects and dream has openly acknowledged this as well . their stance on this may of changed but WE don’t know that. pair that with the fact that he states he ‘mentioned’ these projects and his thoughts on why things arent moving. when in reality that aspect took up a minimum of 1/3 of the entire space you could very easily see why fans feel that he overstepped and may assume ill intentions. i think he downplays the time he spoke on it at the same time as not acknowledging fans pov which if you look at the space through that lense would of course make fans look crazy for thinking he crossed a line.

this isn’t something i’m deeply concerned with either but once again i can understand where people are coming from.

then we talk about him being upset that people think he’s not putting out content. but the reality is he is not lol and that’s fine i’ve never been a dream has to grind out content person i’ve been his biggest defender when it comes to that but yes of course you know how much work you are putting into things but obviously fans who see very little of your day to day are not going to know this. and listen there are cc’s who show a lot more of their day to day which in turn allows their fans to see and acknowledge this hard work. dream does not have to share his day to day if he doesn’t want to but then he has to be fine with people not praising his grind 24/7 and maybe even be fine with people complaining about him being mia. once again ill always be his biggest content drought defender despite it all.

and to be more fair he has been putting out the daquavis shit which correct me if i’m wrong or there’s more i haven’t been locked in. but from what i saw this is content that fans don’t want it seemed daquavis was out of touch with dreams fanbase. once again i don’t think any of this is a crime dream can put out the content he wants to fans don’t have to like it that’s his prerogative but with that there needs to be understanding that some fans won’t feel satiated.

also the elephant in the room him following up with dnf after every mention of the gf. i obviously don’t know his intent with this but he has to know what it comes off as. that’s all im saying about that.

at the end of the day dream isn’t evil he’s just some guy that could prehaps do himself some favours but can’t we all

[dulledtalons]

That post you wrote yesterday (if I call correctly) was SO WELL WRITTEN AND THOUGHT OUT??? anyway I wanted to ask, what do you think Ted’s whole view on the situation is?

Like, I wanna know what his thoughts are as he’s turning the tables on Felix, switching their clothes, plotting to murder the guy. The amount of angst he probably has bottled up is absolutely insane

But then again I need to wonder if he ever feels guilty, he never really seems to but (like you said) if he’s always going to save him and he tells himself he loves his brother and he loves him what changed?

THANK YOU!! i’m really happy to see the love for that post, i wasn’t expecting it kekek

gosh i’ve been writing this response for like FIVE DAYS NOW? so here’s my attempt at unpacking ted’s character. he’s harder to judge, since the bulk of his appearance is in kindergarten 2. 

@choctalksalot cus you’ll probably want to read this too

it’s easier to see why he plots felix’s murder in cain’s not able… but his motivations were less clear to me in kindergarten 3, when ted presumably still hasn’t caught on to felix’s genuine contempt for him. to understand what leads him to his varying degrees of sabotage, we should lay out the foundations of ted’s motivations.

above all else, ted wants his father’s love. this doesn’t change in both games, not that we can see anyway. what does change is ted wanting felix’s love, and how he goes about trying to earn it.

both brothers want their father’s love and approval, but where felix is concerned with his father’s opinion and no one else, ted prioritises both his father and felix’s view of him (and everyone else’s views of him, but that’s not so relevant here). in hitman’s potty guard, he asks the player to not tell felix about his plan, afraid to draw his brother’s ire. at this point, he’s not really focused on upstaging felix — he just wants to prove himself so he can be loved by his family. the same goes for the default cain’s not able route, where he agrees to felix’s plan in hopes that helping him will show that he’s capable and thus worthy of love. 

this version of ted, still gullible and hopeful, could never find it in himself to sabotage his brother, because he loves felix, and doing so would erase all possibility of felix loving him back. this ted probably wouldn’t let felix bruise even his ego.

though when he finds out about felix’s real plan in cain’s not able, i think the realisation crashes down on him that felix never has, and never will return his love no matter what he does for him. with this knowledge, the gloves finally come off. he swiftly plots revenge, spurred on by the fury of betrayal and his long-simmering resentment towards felix boiling over at last. most crucially, he’s driven by the chance to win against felix. as he tells the player, “this time, i’ll beat him.” while he definitely wants felix to get what’s coming to him, retribution comes second to finally winning the brutal competition their father has forced them into. 

is ted ever guilty for betraying felix, even here? i imagine he feels remorse by nature, just doesn’t express it all the time. after killing felix, he’s likely wracked with guilt several hours or even days after the incident. however, in the immediate aftermath of that route, he’s not so much guilty as he is mournful. but the brother he grieves isn’t the one he just buried in the sandbox. he grieves the brother he thought loved him, however weirdly and cruelly, and would love him so long as ted remained useful and servile to him. that version of felix lived only in his head, and ted already buried him that morning.

ted’s motives in kindergarten 3 are a lot more nebulous than they were in cain’s not able. there’s an obvious catalyst for his actions in CNA, but in the canon timeline, ted seemingly never finds out about felix’s plan. ted leaves that school still convinced that felix will love him back if he’s kind enough, if he’s helpful enough. and yet the very next day, he swaps their clothes to offer felix a day in his shoes.

i believe the turning point for ted (unless revealed otherwise in kindergarten 4) is mr. huxley choosing to send the brothers to separate schools. that decision is all but confirmation of the gap between his views of the two. to him, ted lacks any potential worth cultivating in an elite school. in other words, ted is a lost cause. it’s here that ted probably realises that his mere obedience and passiveness isn’t enough for his family’s approval. this epiphany has been sinking in since kindergarten 2, with felix mentioning ted being more out of line than usual, and the huxleys’ dialogue in kindergarten 3 further supporting that ted has been stepping up his game for a while now. because he needs to, if he doesn’t want to be left in the dust. if he can’t earn his father’s love, then he needs to take it by force. his plan to do so is subtle, harmless, but effective. instead of risking his father’s wrath by brutally incapacitating felix, he opts to just take his brother’s place and cheat his way into being mr. huxley’s favoured son. 

with ted finally initiating his own schemes on felix, it makes you wonder how ted’s feelings towards him have changed, but it’s hard to say since most of what we hear about him in kindergarten 3 is incredibly biased against or towards him. again, we’re not sure what happened in the huxley household between tuesday and wednesday, and since ted’s plans are more quietly cunning by nature, the fact that ted wasn’t outright violent towards felix doesn’t exactly clarify how he feels about him now.

it’s possible that mr. huxley sending them to different schools is what breaks ted and leads him to have the realisation he had in CNA, albeit without the added rage of knowing felix plans to kill him. instead ted connects the dots on his own and realises his brother doesn’t love him, thus enabling ted to have less restraint in his treatment of felix. this route feels more likely to be canon since it’s a more straightforward explanation for ted’s actions.

buuut it’s still possible that ted loves felix to an extent. as we hear in CNA, ted has convinced himself that felix has a weird way of showing his love by being cruel and disparaging towards ted. this isn’t a result of ted being purely oblivious, as we see him recognising acts of unkindness like sticking gum in carla’s hair, cindy slapping him while playing house, and breaking monty’s wheelchair. he feels guilty for being mean towards others, and he’s hurt when others are mean to him. yet when felix hurls vitriol at him, ted wilfully sees it as his harsh expression of love. so if ted still holds this perspective, i think it’d be really fun if ted “acting more fiendishly” is actually his gradual attempt at reciprocating felix’s “love”. it’d make sense with ted trying to take initiative while clinging to the hope that felix loves him.

all in all, ted is shown to be a very deliberate person, from his calculating planning style down to the people he loves. ted genuinely loves, or tries to love, felix and their father. he makes exceptions for them and overly justifies their actions, again and again and again, until the truth is kind enough to smack him in the face. even if he doesn’t understand their motives, he has faith in them to be reasonable and aligns himself with them as much as possible. he faults his own naïvete for why he never realised felix’s hatred for him, but i think he had chosen to forgive and love felix so often that it became second-nature. to love his family, ted chooses to trust them, making felix’s exploitation of this trust the highest transgression.

ted epitomises the concept of love as a verb — not a mere feeling that you’re beholden to, but an action that you choose.

[stormflypirateskin]

WOAAAAH WHAT'S THIS??? DROPPING STUFF AND FURSONA??? WOOHOOOOOO @heyguysijusthereforawesome come get your reference food mutual and ofc everyone else (MY BELOVED MUTUALS UGHHHH MUAH MUAH MUAH MUAH MUAH MUAH MUAH ILYSM ALL /P)

Okie okie so like this will be massive stuff dumping and art, I art, I artist but mostly low quality sketches or sum idk man andhahdhahz

THERE SHE IS IN ALL HER GLORY, MY FURSONA, GRACE!!!!!! She's basically me, just slightly more unhinged and too fluffy go hug fellas I give hugs and platonic forehead kithes trust, I'll drop more fun facts of her soon or in another random lore dumps I do idk akdhahsha

I named her based on my own actual name which is "Anna" and I found out one of its meanings is "Grace" or sum and I was like hold on bro this fits?? So I named her Grace which is like the meaning of my actual name haha I'm so smort such genius move trust trust

I love sweets too much man sovs

Funnily enough, Grace is NOT a Dandy's World OC or anything but I like to fit her everywhere I can (I also have a human self-insert/sona fellas dw dw) and girly happened to fit LEGIT perfectly into the Dandy's World universe HAAJAHAHAH her eyes is the first dark brown eye thingy but in the DW universe, it's that black white cuz all the toons have like black eyes idk bro sjdhahd cartoons go brrrr or sum, very floof, she likes to give her fur to kids that come visit her and she likes to let them play with her fur to calm down, she's that toon that you take your kids to when they are crying so hard basically sksksks very floof and warm goat-dragon trust, free therapy sessions from her too if you need someone to talk to dw dw

Goofy ahhh goat-dragon those eyes observe everything trust sksks are you gonna trust those dragon fangs bro sksks

FUNNILY ENOUGH I actually made the design as a plushie in mind and I would basically sketch her in little scenarios like a comic back then when I was studying Japanese during school hours sksksk like let's say I learned a new word and I would LIKE- make a comic where I would use it in a situation and it- kinda helped idk- but I also ended up loving the design too much for it to become my fursona aksksksk

I liked the idea of her having retractable teeth (only like the front 4 fangs not being affected idk man) and she takes them out to chew, when she's too happy or excited or when she's hurt ssksksk, her fur can also go up like y'know how a cat's fur go when it becomes scared/angry sksksk something like that here and the wings vibrate a little as she shows them (intimidation challenge failed lol) AND SHE BREATHES FIIIIREEEEE and it's also one of the reasons why she's like very warm physically, summer time is hell (she has to shave her fur bro, pink ass goat-dragon underneath) but winter time bro she's chilling, she even uses her fire to warm others up by holding the flame in her mouth, moving ahhh fireplace sksks

Goofy ahh idea I had, I liked to think that every time Grace is confused or doesn't understand, she just.. tilts her head, y'know how a dog tilts it's head both ways? That's Grace too BAHAHAHAHA she's too shy to tell that her ass just can't understand something simple (girl me too ooomg) so she just tilts her head AJDGAHDHA

Alright fellas time to confess..

I'M A HUGE ASS SIMP FOR SHELLY AND VEE FIGHT ME RAHHHHHH

NGL I'm usually not really willing to talk about characters I simp for hard but I feel comfortable enough in the community Kai has made and I trust my mutuals enough sksks so yes I'm a Vee and Shelly smoocher the most 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Yes I'm cringe but I'm free BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Like I simp for other DW character's too but those two smsmsm yeah I self-ship with those two BAHAHAHAHAHAHA but I still love seeing ships with them Shellvision my beloved RAHAHAHAAAAAAA

Normally Grace likes to brush herself to be as floof and soft as possible but Shelly likes doing it for her, she finds it calming too shshshsh it's nicer too cuz Grace does it after she showers and dries herself off so she's very fluffy and warm and soft and she likes doing it for the kids that visit her and for the other toons too in case anyone wants a bit of her fur cuz it's very nice to touch and feel.

Girl likes to place all the fur she gathers in a bag and it can be used to make soft things like plushies or something idk man, she likes gathering all the fur she leaves behind on furniture and everything too so she doesn't disturb anyone sndhahxh

Vee is a victim at Grace's fur akdhajdha though Grace always makes sure to scoop up everything she can (even though she loves to cuddle Vee's clothes and her too cuz she loves the perfume she wears, Grace is an addicted goat-dragon LOL), Vee still lets her cuz Grace keeps her promise and leaves nothing behind (at least she tries her best not to msmsms), Vee likes seeing Grace happy sksks

Anyways I'll yap my self-ship in places like DMS I was confident enough in this post, now I wanna crawl under a blanket and hide forever sobs sobs if you also self-ship then feel free to yap together with me in DMS bro I love talking about this pspspspsp

I also tried to uhhhh make Grace a twisted brrrr (in the first image, she's supposed to have big ruined wings I forgot them so just imagine them pls and ty-), girl basically hates what she has become, she keeps touching her face to feel around and shiz, one horn broken cuz of a twisted attack brrrr and I like the idea of her having some burned fur because she can't brush her fur ever again so she uses her flame bites grrrr grrrr, her furs messed up too urgrhrh brrrrr

The second image is from a magma page with one of my besties @unbakedturtledoodles (she's so cool I love her sm man MUAH MUAH YAM) and uhhh I played around with Grace's design and made it a scene where Shelly finds her and is horrified of what happened to Grace skdjshs I wrote an angst fic about it too BAHAHAHAAH and that's the drawing that inspired it YEEEET

As for yapping yapping about Grace's stats, I'll start with her normal toon version brrrr

Girly has 3 health, 2 skillcheck, 4 movement speed, 4 stamina, 2 stealth, 3 extraction speed. I can already hear the distractor Grace comments JAHDAHDHAHDHA

Her active ability is basically Grace slamming into the twisteds and headbutting them well enough to make them pause for 2 seconds, this also makes Grace immune to damage for 2 seconds. Can hit multiple twisteds but doesn't work on mains (dude, no way girl can headbutt PEBBLE, THAT DAMN DOG RAHHHHH)

Her passive is if Grace gets chased long enough by twisteds (but like for a good ass while), she gets stressed enough where she can headbutt a machine (that isn't being worked on) and it will extract slowly by itself until it reaches around 80%, a toon can also work on it to make it go faster too and to complete the machine too.

Uhhhh no idea about her requirements, you can go wild here idk, as for the ichor at least lemme choose tsk tsk I want it around 2790 ichor cuz 27 is the number for my birthday and the 9 is for my name day number RAHHHHH

Hooo boy okie, twisted time. Girly is a rare AND BEFORE YOU THROW TOMATOES AT ME CUZ RARE TWISTEDS SUCK-

She's like.. different from the other twisteds, she'll roam around but you'll be safe from her for the most part.. if you don't disturb her at least tsk tsk. If you get close enough to her, she growls and raises a hand and if you still stay close enough for 3 seconds, you'll get a nice claw at your face andhahdha if you try to do it again or you went far away enough and come back as if trolling her, you'll get slashed immediately slsksks girly doesn't forget-

Though you are safe if she walks by and you're doing a machine or standing completely still, she just stares at you as she walks by and shakes her head BAHAHAHA

Blackouts aren't that hellish, she's like Brightney/Rudie, she has her mouth slightly open and produces a soft flame as she paces around idk bro sksksk she doesn't like the dark much

BUT, if you fail a skillcheck and she happens to be around? Brotha run, she huffs loudly and charges at the location of the machine, damaging everyone who happens to be in her path and she headbutts the machine before walking away and holding her head annoyed, she basically broke the machine for around 20 seconds.

And this is funny too cuz if you use Pebble's bark or an airhorn, Grace will chase you. Though she works kinda differently compared to other twisteds. Instead of worrying about everyone's stealth, you don't gotta worry about that with Grace brotha cuz she's only mad at the dude who made the noise and will chase THEM only, she's mad at THEM ONLY. She's not as fast and has like 2 seconds of attention span.

Uhhh that's it I think idk man her trinket is a kid's drawing of her and it boosts extraction speed by 10% and walk speed by 5%.

Yeah that's it basically BAHAHAHAHA y'all can judge me now for all of this. Think of me as this silly goat-dragon idk sksksk I'll go hide under a blanket now LOL

[providing-leverage]

Tommy Kinard is just like me for real (hardly ever refers to people by their nickname, considers nicknames off limits unless explicitly invited to use them)

[moonchild-in-blue]

I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹

[cheswirls]

magi rambling

idk it jus hit me out of nowhere how much i love magi fic and how sinja is portrayed in such. imo THEEEE best magi fic of all time is works cowritten by galiko and daphnerunning, those two were genuinely on galaxy brain mega dimension level thinking full time, but like less abt magi meta as a whole and more on how the characters are so true to themselves and their flaws

it's been so long that in not gonna be able to remember who all did it but i def remember all of galiko's sinja fic that also portrayed sinbad/judal to some extent, that it was made very clear in the text how differently and on different footing both relationships stood. judal especially in their hands was written so well in a way that changed how i viewed the character in canon to some extent and in every other piece of fictional media. like how can you write someone so pathetic and deceptive and a bastard and it's all perfectly in character

I've never been into sin/ju and i don't think i ever read anything w them in fic seriously or w/o skimming but i did sit thru enough to know how the galiko/daphne pair brought them forth and made it very wanton-ly obvious that sin is always just manipulating judal and leading him on to get what he wants at the end of it all, but in contrast, it's clear that he so deeply loves ja'far in ways mere words cannot express

to see the relationship dynamics compared and contrasted in fic was always such a treat because sin treats almost everyone like they're a stepping stone used to further his own objectives, but then he treats his advisor like a genuine person. shows real care and concern, becomes inconsolable when ja'far is hurt, refuses to quell his rage for any reason when someone has wronged ja'far. his advisor truly is his precious person that he can strip down out of his title as king and just be sinbad around.

and this is even further glorified when ja'f knows but insists he doesn't!!! playa it off bc sin is king and this is uncouth!!! only to have such moments of weakness when anything goes terribly wrong and he's suddenly on the brink of death, terrified of leaving sin behind all alone, letting himself have just as long as it takes to recover the bare minimum amount to bask in sin's unending devotion. they truly do treat each other differently in canon and otherwise and it's so gratifying to see and realize each time as someone who loves sinja so dearly

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[foldingfittedsheets]

It started with cantrips, which is why it took people a while to notice. The first few events were people on the news talking about how they’d been needing a light and then suddenly they’d waved a hand and said words and there was light. No one really believed them but as more reports were verified suddenly more people came forward with even less believable stories of what everyone really didn’t want to call magic. Even though it was pretty obviously magic. Spectral floating hands grabbing things that were out of reach, whispered messages that reached their friend seated too far away to hear them.

An EMT who whispered a word and suddenly saved a dying man.

Then the darker stories started filtering in. 

Words spoken in anger causing explosions. Poison spewing forth from a hand gesture. One person gave a retort so witty that someone was hospitalized. 

Everyone was scared, but the nerds started to figure it out fastest. It sure wasn’t the scientists who were doing the equivalent of crying on the floor in the fetal position in their respective labs while reports poured in globally of these occurrences. A growing movement online started spreading lists. They had all the blessings people might have gotten and regardless of how many people scoffed no one could really deny that every instance of magic correlated to a website listing the cantrips in Dungeons and Dragons. People pooled their collective resources to help quantify what was happening and facts started to emerge.

Everybody got one. You had to be at least thirteen to use the magic. That pretty much summed up the only other common denominators. Otherwise it seemed completely random, the magic didn’t line up with any existing character traits. You just unlocked one piece of magic each. People with aggressive cantrips were almost loaded up into camps for suddenly being so dangerous- however many hit points real humans had it was apparently not a big number. A lot more deaths occurred than anyone could feasibly track and the global population panicked.

The legislation for the camps got struck down. There were riots and confusion and for a while everything was pretty chaotic. Firebolts and Eldritch Blasts went off from sheer exuberance as much as anything else. Amidst the rioting were people just living their lives, not using their cantrips. It took a while for things to settle down, but humans can get used to most anything if given enough time.

Almost everybody scanned the list to figure out which they got, but someone with Chill Touch just enjoyed frostier beverages than most even if it made you think about death more to drink something after the skeleton hand had been wrapped around it. At least it looked cool. Most people didn’t really do anything other than play around. A youtuber who had gotten Shape Water suddenly surged in popularity as she pivoted her channel to creating beautiful patterns with colored water. Other online personalities quickly followed and those with combat focused magic set up backyard target practice to show off. Some fires resulted as well as numerous noise complaints and a law was passed limiting where people could practice magic. It was virtually unenforceable but the people in charge were trying to keep a grip on the situation.

Noticeably the largest subset of the population that used their magic were those who had gotten Spare the Dying. Every government turned out the call that such individuals would receive a generous stipend for taking to the hospitals and stabilizing the sick and injured. Death rates dropped substantially, but it was still only a cantrip. Cancer marched on, but many got to live after miraculous recoveries.

Months passed and things started to become a little more normal. There were still debates about what had caused it and how to regulate magic but day to day life settled down. Speculations over what the long term ramifications would be continued as well as why those cantrips. Wizards of the Coast refused to comment for the first six months, closing its doors to the rioting and keeping them closed. At the end of six months they abruptly published a new line of cantrip cards with all kinds of utility and no combat usage whatsoever. The internet exploded and the government wasn’t pleased, but nothing happened. No one got any new magic. People wondered if those under thirteen would manifest the new stuff, but no one did. They just blew out their thirteenth birthday candles and got handed a cantrip like everyone else. 

A year later a mechanic in rural Canada was peering into the engine of a busted car. He realized he needed some lubricant and instead of reaching for his can he waved a hand and splattered the car with Grease that had burst from his hand. He was a calm sort of fellow so he called up the local news and said there was more magic. They asked first what cantrip he had- folks who received Prestidigitation had made a number of false alarms on receiving additional magic. The mechanic told them his cantrip was Infestation which he’d never had cause to use after figuring it out. 

The press descended and demanded a demonstration. Most people had read up on the basic rules of magic at that point, so everyone understood when the mechanic said they’d have to wait until the next day. A media storm went up the next day with headlines blaring that first level magic had been unlocked after the passing of the lunar new year. 

A wide contingent had been waiting for this opportunity. The spell list went out again amidst less panic but more chaos. There was a rash of identity thefts no could trace and eventually people realized Disguise Self posed a significant challenge to daily life. Celebrities had trouble convincing people they were who they said as random citizens took their faces on numerous joyrides. A scandal broke when it turned out an A list actor had hired someone else to play them while they went on vacation but the details were kept very hush hush.

Hospitals called out desperately for anyone with healing magic and most of those blessed with Cure Wounds and Healing Word answered. People with Goodberry formed community food kitchens and for the first time it seemed like hunger could actually be eliminated. Veterinary offices and zoos made special positions for those who could cast Animal Friendship and Speak with Animals.

A celebrity chef hit the jackpot with Purify Food and Drink and made a whole spinoff series where she went dumpster diving and made five star meals out of rotting leftovers. Several people changed careers entirely to lend their services to study ancient texts with Comprehend Languages. Even one hour a day led to huge leaps in discovery and understanding of ancient civilizations. 

A small murmur of worry followed the new influx of skills and power. What would happen when more magic was unlocked? The amount of people now running around with dangerous combat spells was even greater than before. Would people have to worry about necromancy? New crimes were being invented faster than laws could keep up as magic was put to novel and interesting uses. 

A year passed and everyone waited with bated breath for the lunar new year, but nothing happened. 

But I’m pretty sure I figured it out. We got handed cantrips. And we waited a year for first level spells. I’m pretty sure it’s one more year, and then things will really start to get interesting.

Inspired by this poll. If you enjoyed my writing consider leaving a tip on my Ko-fi!

[curlicuecal]

playing science telephone

Hi folks. Let's play a fun game today called "unravelling bad science communication back to its source."

Journey with me.

Saw a comment going around on a tumblr thread that "sometimes the life expectancy of autism is cited in the 30s"

That number seemed..... strange. The commenter DID go on to say that that was "situational on people being awful and not… anything autism actually does", but you know what? Still a strange number. I feel compelled to fact check.

Quick Google "autism life expectancy" pulls up quite a few websites bandying around the number 39. Which is ~technically~ within the 30s, but already higher than the tumblr factoid would suggest. But, guess what. This number still sounds strange to me.

Most of the websites presenting this factoid present themselves as official autism resources and organizations (for parents, etc), and most of them vaguely wave towards "studies."

Ex: "Above And Beyond Therapy" has a whole article on "Does Autism Affect Life Expectancy" and states:

The link implies that it will take you to the "research studies" being referenced, but it in fact takes you to another random autism resource group called.... Songbird Care?

And on that website we find the factoid again:

Ooh, look. Now they've added the word "some". The average lifespan for SOME autistic people. Which the next group erased from the fact. The message shifts further.

And we have slightly more information about the study! (Which has also shifted from "studies" to a singular "study"). And we have another link!

Wonderfully, this link actually takes us to the actual peer-reviewed 2020 study being discussed. [x]

And here, just by reading the abstract, we find the most important information of all.

This study followed a cohort of adolescent and adult autistic people across a 20 year time period. Within that time period, 6.4% of the cohort died. Within that 6.4%, the average age of death was 39 years.

So this number is VERY MUCH not the average age of death for autistic people, or even the average age of death for the cohort of autistic people in that study. It is the average age of death IF you died young and within the 20 year period of the study (n=26), and also we don't even know the average starting age of participants without digging into earlier papers, except that it was 10 or older. (If you're curious, the researchers in the study suggested reduced self-sufficiency to be among the biggest risk factors for the early mortality group.)

But the number in the study has been removed from it's context, gradually modified and spread around the web, and modified some more, until it is pretty much a nonsense number that everyone is citing from everyone else.

There ARE two other numbers that pop up semi-frequently:

One cites the life expectancy at 58. I will leave finding the context for that number as an exercise for the audience, since none of the places I saw it gave a direct citation for where they were getting it.

And then, probably the best and most relevant number floating around out there (and the least frequently cited) draws from a 2023 study of over 17,000 UK people with an autism diagnosis, across 30 years. [x] This study estimated life expectancies between 70 and 77 years, varying with sex and presence/absence of a learning disability. (As compared to the UK 80-83 average for the population as a whole.)

This is a set of numbers that makes way more sense and is backed by way better data, but isn't quite as snappy a soundbite to pass around the internet. I'm gonna pass it around anyway, because I feel bad about how many scared internet people I stumbled across while doing this search.

People on quora like "I'm autistic, can I live past 38"-- honey, YES. omg.

---

tl;dr, when someone gives you a number out of context, consider that the context is probably important

also, make an amateur fact checker's life easier and CITE YOUR SOURCES