#weird Headcanons

[tash-sho-sho]

Clothpin

I've been thinking this all day. It's one of those thoughts that won't go away, but like imagine if Yuu and Malleus had a baby together. It doesn't matter if Yuu is human or immortal— but Yuu isn't a dragon/bird or any kind of entity that lays eggs.

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡

But you have your hands on your egg waiting eagerly to finally meet your child. You started to feel the egg moving more than usual and started to call Malleus hurriedly. Malleus suddenly appears with crazed eyes looking at everything, thinking there was an intruder in his (and your) nest!

You grab his hand and press it with yours towards the egg. His eyes calmed after making sure everything was ok, but now his eyes shined with eagerness to meet his baby dragon.

At long last! You finally meet your baby! A dragon, but that's alright. It's because your baby can transform to a more human-form. Wow, you did this! Somehow, you got to push an egg outta that belly of yours. Never thought it was possible, but you learned that life was shit crazy.

"My love," Malleus says with a smile, "Time to feed the baby." Oh right, you got this! Must be hungry, your poor child, after fighting for his/her life (quite literally) to get out of that egg, your baby needs feeding. The baby is whining or crying, whatever baby dragons do to make sounds.

You know what to do.

Malleus goes behind you, more carefully and sweetly than ever since you hold his baby...

And starts to take out your clothes.

"What are you doing?" You aks.

"Helping you feed the baby?" He says as a matter of fact. "Needs milk."

Wait, wait, you didn't know this!?? Dragons need milk?

"...."

"You know, your breast are full of milk, dearest." Malleus says again.

Well, you thought that was just your body doing what it normally should do with a baby of your species. Like when your body does something as a reaction but it has no real meaning.

"...I see." Well, now is time to feed with your tits the baby. You suddenly think it might feel like when you once put a clothpin on your tits out of boredom.

You were a young girl back then, with a clothpin and not many braincells to work with. (How Malleus fell for you? You don't know)

It feels weird, but you grew used to it. Your baby looks so cute! And Malleus was with you smiling too.

A happy family of 3 now, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Although, when your child gets older, you might have a silly nickname.

"My lil Clothpin ♡"

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Control Freak sits on the ground while watching a movie on his phone as the other villains attack the titans. Nightwing walks over and stands over him.

Control Freak: Hey, man.

Nightwing: Hi. You… You’re going to jump in?

Control Freak: Huh? Nah. I have to finish the movie.

Nightwing: What are you watching?

Control Freak: Mitchell's vs the Machines.

Nightwing: What's that about?

Control Freak: Road trip movie where the family fights evil electronics. Want to join me?

Nightwing: I'm supposed to be fighting them and you.

Control Freak: They got it, dude. These guys needed me for hacking, but I got bored with that. I think you'd like the main cast.

Nightwing taps his chin unsure.

Control Freak pulls out two jumbo chocolate bars.

Control Freak: I got Mars bars to share.

Nightwing looks around.

Nightwing: Why not.

Nightwing sits next to Control Freak as everyone stops fighting.

Raven: Dude!

Nightwing (lying): You guys got this, I pulled a hamstring.

Control Freak (lying while watching the movie): And I'm having a stroke.

Raven (sarcastically): Hey let's be like that, pause the freaking bank robbery that we were trying to stop and we all watch a movie and eat popcorn!

Starfire (feigning ignorance): I mean... Is that an option?

Raven: Starfire, don't act dumb, that's not you.

Starfire (smitten with her man): Okay, yes, but look at him over there. He's so cute.

Control Freak (mid-chews from his chocolate bar): I'm cute.

Nightwing: She was- Nevermind.

Jinx: Dork on your team too?

Raven: Pretty much.

Jinx: Let's continue the fight without the goobers. We're going to win either way.

Beast Boy: In your dreams!

Cyborg: Nightwing, we got this!

Nightwing gives up a thumbs up as he and Control Freak watch the movie. The fighting resume, CF and Nightwing watch the movie and eat chocolate while the Titans defeat the villain team.

[regularconvexheadcanons]

Headcanon 8

Vexlings (and Vex) can eat almost anything with no side effects. This includes - but isn’t limited to - crystals, rotten flesh (and similar edible minecraft things), most poisons, raw food that would give most people food poisoning, and mycelium.

Cub tends to stick to normal food because just because you CAN eat something, doesn’t mean it actually tastes nice. However, if he’s incredibly low on food, or he’s pranking other hermits, he’s been known to eat raw chicken, or rotten flesh. And the invulnerability to most poisons works wonders when he’s testing potions. (And he doesn’t talk about the time he was left ill for 4 weeks and realised he wasn’t immune to ALL poison).

Scar will eat anything. At all times. He particularly loves eating crystals - mainly diamonds or vex-magic - which confuses and deeply concerns the other hermits. He does, however, sometimes forget that other hermits can’t eat these things (he made the raw chicken buttercup cookies to taste bad, not poison people!). And he also, when showing off, overestimates how much of this stuff he can have at once and can get incredibly sick.

One of the only things Scar refuses to eat is mycelium. 1: it tastes awful and 2: he has to keep up Mayor Scar’s reputation.

[cheesecakeislazy]

Hot take- Your OC’s should have negative traits. Or strange quirks that can be viewed as negative. Cool, your OC is a mafia boss with a heart of gold; seen that a million times. Show me the OC’s that are REAL PEOPLE!

Someone who is so insecure that it gets in the way of their life and goals! Or something small like your OC being a sore loser or someone that likes to brag all the time!

Add small little quirks please!! An OC that bites their nails? Small but relatable!! An OC that loves stealing itty bitty things as souvenirs? Funny!! My OC bottles up her emotions, but instead of putting up a smile- she has a stone cold face. Very few things break through her hard exterior. ADD STUFF TO YOUR OC THAT MAKES THEM HUMAN, I BEG YOU.

[s-u-g-a-r-rush1997]

Turbo drinks motor oil.

He sneaks into the garage to drink it.

The Twins have given up stopping him. It’s like trying to take deli meat from a feral cat. He even sounds like a feral cat.

Hide your motor oil.

[inthememetime]

I have not slept in 2 days, so my brain is a little more messed up than usual. But I just thought of something that made me laugh so hard I had to pull over. Vlad is canonically from Wisconsin, yeah?

Wisconsin manners Vlad.

Reporter: Why do you call him the Wisconsin ghost?

Amity Parker: Have you HEARD him?

Plasmius proceeds to YEET Danny out of a building: "Stay out! ...and tell your foks I says hi!" He snarls.

-

His greatest trap for Maddie was a Midwest goodbye that lasted 3 hours.

He will absolutely stop a fight to discuss football, fishing, and whether Sharon next door is REALLY vegan or just wants attention.

He has, at least once, brought over an apology casserole. As Plasmius. It was a little bland, but the ectoplasm really spiced it up.

(Yes, the Fenton parents absolutely flipped because: 1-Danny ate ghost food. Made by a ghost. That tastes good, according to him.

2-It implies ghosts have manners, therefore a society to punish/reward rule breakers/followers

3-Do ghosts feel remorse?!?! What else do they feel?)

He has kidnapped Jazz and Danny to go ice fishing. And proceeded to kick Phantom's ass when the boy told Jack about his secret spot.

Has went ballistic on Cubs, Bears, and Vikings fans multiple times.

This man has absolutely, I guarantee you, grilled brats while watching a ghost kick Phangom's ass at least once.

(Feel free to add on!)

[balswop]

I see him as distant and with anger issues, but when he is calm he is an energetic happy boy :] that may be confused as being "Tsundere" cuz of him being angry all the time.

[iden-summers]

Weird Hades head canon collection of mine

Meg is terribly afraid of butterflies

Skelly invented the floss dance

Charon can't speak mortal languages because he has no tongue in a mortal sense

Hermes and his Coz Zagreus both have a thing for men with strong arms

Charon and his brother Thanatos both have a thing for men with strong thighs

Dusa can unhinge her jaw, and at one point teaches Zagreus how to do so. Now the gorgons of Asphodel are afraid of him

Zagreus is able to dislocate/bend most of his joints to a point it freaks most people out

Theseus dreamt about Asterius cheating on him once and got mad at Asterius

Zagreus casually T-poses Theseus into a corner of the stadium sometimes

Zagreus called Achilles "Mama" accidentally before, until he does it on purpose

The temple of Styx smells different from any other part of the Styx because it's the only place where real bodies are. Everywhere else it's just shades and cthonic gods, but the temple smells like sweet rot and decay from all the vermin and dead intruders falling to Cerberus

Asterius was the one teaching Dusa how to speak, back when they both resided in Erebus

Zagreus is partly blind on the red eye, but can see perfectly fine in darkness.

Zagreus ADHD behavior comes from Nyx actually. Both Persephone and Hades sit down and take breaks from time to time, Nyx is at peace to just stand around

Thanatos did not only ask for Nyx's but also for the blessing of Charon and Hypnos before he got together with Zag. He did however only sort of inform Hades, instead of asking his approval.

Zag says that Meg's whip is not all that persuasive but we all know he is absolutely into it

[madmoro]

[idontevenknow7878]

am i the only one who headcannoned dannie as a ginger

[triangularitydubs]

More stupid lil headcanons :)

[sugarcubemari]

I’m not sure if this headcanon is out there already (it probably is) but bc Trucy only has one earring I like to think that she gave the other one to Phoenix, except he already has one of those blue earrings that the von karmas wear bc Miles gave him one so he just… doesn’t coordinate and wears them both. I think that would be cute :D

[ladymirdan]

Weird 40k headcanons:

The vast majority of Emperors Children moan their own names instead of their partners during sex.

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

Kaidan teaching Rufus how to fight with honor

[cheesecakeislazy]

Ben is a picky eater. That man will not eat your broccoli no matter how much you yell at him. However, he makes some fucking BOMB chicken nuggies, he knows how to season them and shit. But he always specifically requests no pickles on his Mcburger :3

[nouverx]

"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind